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mrsbuckybarnes1917 · 10 months

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REQUEST: @buckys-wintersoldier asked: What about needy Bucky but the reader had bad experiences and needs time. So he gives her time but after a party he can’t stop himself from touching her? But he is really soft and all so she says yes? Word count: 2.3k Warnings: mentions of previous bad relationship trauma, includes smut, penetrative and oral sex

He was exquisite. He was elegant and oh so handsome. He could have had any woman in the room and for some reason he had chosen you. You still couldn't quite believe it was real.

You caught sight of your reflection in a mirror beside you, smiling at what you saw. It had been a while since you'd felt comfortable in your own skin, let alone feel happy with your appearance. But tonight the girl in the mirror in the sexy black dress was smiling back at you. You felt confident for the first time in a long time.

Truth be told, you'd not been entirely open with Bucky. The relationship was still new. You had asked him to take things slow. The request you'd made had been under the guise of wanting to be understanding to him and his apprehensions for being in an intimate relationship. It wasn't that Bucky hadn't had sex after being freed from his HYDRA brainwashing, no, even you weren't naïve enough to suffer delusions of that kind. But he had admitted to you that you were the first person he had wanted to pursue a relationship with. He felt comfortable with you, he could be himself, free of judgements and frightened looks.

Bucky appeared behind you suddenly, making you jump. He still moved with the stealth of a wolf. He flashed you with one of those rare smiles which he reserved for you and you alone. He made you feel warm and wanted… special. But somehow you couldn't quite overcome your fear of intimacy.

It wasn't that you were opposed to it. Far from it, in fact. You almost longed for his touch, to feel his hands on you…in you. But every time he got too close, there was a voice inside your brain that screamed at you, reminding you of your past exploits, the scathing words which had been thrown at you after the rare moments of intimacy you'd allowed yourself with other men. In short you were afraid, not of Bucky, but of not being able to please him.

His hands on your bare arms weren’t helping the feeling of lust that was simmering beneath the surface. The way his fingers skimmed over your biceps, tracing the muscles gently…erotically.

“Hey Angel,” he mumbled in your ear. “You having a good time?”

“Yeah, it’s great. I mean it’s a lot, but I’m enjoying it.” You glanced around the crowd, the throng of people on the dance floor.

“You want to dance?” Bucky asked, but you could hear the uncertainty in his voice. He was still wary of being surrounded by large numbers of people. He would usually spend his time at these events around the peripheries of the room.

“Maybe not out there,” you pointed at the dance floor.

Bucky took your hand and with a surprise swift movement, he spun you around and straight into his sturdy strong chest. The way his hand fit snugly into the small of your back felt perfect. Your knees trembled at the way he looked down at you, the passion in his beautiful blue eyes and if his strong arms hadn’t been enveloping you, you wondered if your legs would give way right there and then.

“Want to get out of here?” Bucky whispered in your ear.

“Yes, please!”

“Do you want to go somewhere or do you want me to take you home?”

“Buck, these heels are sort of killing my feet. I know it's not a very exciting thing to do, but do you want to come back to my place? We could watch a movie together.”

“As long as I'm with you, I don't care what we do.”

Bucky had a way of making you blush, the way he fawned over you while making you feel desirable at the same time. He held your hand the entire way home and you couldn’t stop staring at him.

“Why do you keep looking at me, Angel?”

“I love looking at beautiful things.”

If you had known how deeply it would have made Bucky blush, you’d have called him beautiful a lot sooner. Before you knew it, he was pulling up outside your apartment and scrambling out of the car so he could open your door and offered you an arm to support you as you teetered around in those three inch stilettos that made your calves look sculpted and thinner. You could see Bucky glancing up and down at you, see the hunger in his eyes. You knew what he wanted, it was obvious from the way his hands wandered around your body, the way his arms folded over across your chest, the way he pressed his nose against your head, inhaling the scent of your shampoo.

He followed you into your apartment with his hands on your hips, you didn’t see the way he checked out your ass but you could sense his eyes on you. The second your door was closed, his lips were on yours, his fingers dug into your waist as he pulled you close to him, moaning softly into your mouth. It felt like Bucky couldn’t quite get enough of you. Only when you felt his growing erection against your belly that you realized that he wanted more than you were quite ready for.

With a slight sigh, you pulled your lips away from his, hoping that he wouldn’t be upset. You kissed his cheek and took his hands off your hips.

“I’m just going to take these shoes off and get changed and we can pick a movie. Okay?” you smiled at him. But inside your heart was pounding with fear, what if he got mad at you? Your last boyfriend had always made snarky comments until you agreed to sex and then complained about your lack of involvement when he was finished. It was rare for you to finish or really even enjoy intercourse when you’d been with him.

You disappeared quickly before he had the chance to express any difference of opinion. It didn’t take you long to shed the slinky black dress in favor of a comfortable t-shirt, some shorts and an oversized cardigan. As you made your way back to the living room, your hand lingered on the door knob. What if he didn’t want to stay?

You needn’t have worried because the second you stepped out of your bedroom, you found Bucky in your kitchen taking freshly popped corn out of your microwave.

“I thought you might be hungr-” he didn’t quite finish his sentence as he caught sight of you. There was no hiding how his eyes flicked down to take in your bare legs.

“Thanks, Buck. Come on.” You took the bowl from him and beckoned him over before climbing onto your couch and covering your legs with the blanket.

Bucky followed gladly, any excuse to be close to you. He sat down next to you and slung his arm over your shoulder and smiled as you snuggled into his side. Your reaction earlier had given him cause for concern. But now he couldn’t quite pay attention during the movie because he was distracted by the way your hand stroked his thigh. Bucky found himself pressing his lips against your head, nuzzling into your ear. His hand snaked around to your thigh.

You sighed quietly, resigning yourself to let this happen. It wasn’t until you stiffened at his touch that he stopped to question you.

“Angel?” Bucky called you softly.

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you nodded.

“It’s just that you don’t seem very comfortable.”

“No, it’s fine, Bucky. Come here.” You reached over to kiss him.

Bucky let you kiss him, indulging in the salty taste on your tongue from the popcorn. He slipped his hand under your shirt and caressed your back. It was only after about five minutes of making out that Bucky was feeling a little impatient, he leaned over and guided you backwards onto the couch. He smiled down at you, brushing your hair out of your face and gazing into your eyes.

Bucky hadn’t known you for a long time, but he had grown very fond of you in that time and he loved seeing the joy on your face when you experienced things that made you happy. And he would do anything to see your face light up that way, but he couldn’t find that in your expression as he looked down on you.

“Angel, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing Bucky, let’s do this.”

“But it doesn’t feel like you want to.”

“I do, Bucky, come on. Let’s get it over with.”

“Get this over with? Angel, don't you want this?” Bucky’s shoulders drooped and his brow furrowed with confusion.

“I do, but-” your voice was quiet, but now that he had asked you a direct question, you didn't want to answer. What if he didn't understand?

“You know that if you don't want to, we don't have to. We can just watch the movie. Or if you want me to leave-”

“No!” you cut him off, grabbing his arm. You most certainly didn't want him to leave.

Bucky sat up and the loss of warmth of his body on yours made you shiver. He covered your legs with the blanket but didn't join you under it. You pulled your cardigan over your torso, trying to hide yourself inside it.

“I'm sorry.” Your face burned with shame.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Angel.”

Bucky sat with you silently, wanting desperately to ask what had caused your apprehension, but he didn't want to invade your privacy or push you into something you didn't want to divulge.

“I don't want to disappoint you,” you mumbled.

Bucky's eyebrows flew into his hairline. “Why would you think that?”

“He said…” you hesitated. “He said I wasn't good…at sex.”

Bucky sighed. He hated the man who had made you feel this way. “Angel, I-” Bucky hated that he didn't know how to express himself as eloquently as Steve often did. “All I want is to feel close to you. But only if you want that too.”

“I want that too. I want nothing more.”

“Angel, can I ask you something?”

You nodded.

“Was he good? Did he make you feel good?”

You shook your head dismally.

“I want you to feel good, Angel. I want us to feel closer than we already are.”

“I want that too, Bucky.”

Bucky reached out a hand and you let him cup your cheek. You let him pull you into a kiss, a kiss where you gave in to the passion, your tongues familiarizing each other's mouths. Bucky pulled you into his lap and you took your time feeling each other's bodies, learning what touches the other responded to.

When Bucky's exploration of your body finally reached your core, you were literally dripping. The way his fingers teased your entrance had you begging to feel him inside you. Bucky couldn't do anything other than oblige your pretty pleas. He was far beyond aroused and painfully hard and eager to know you in the most intimate way possible.

His jaw was completely slack as he reveled in the pleasure of stretching your walls, your moans were music to his ears. The way Bucky filled you was a feeling unlike anything you'd ever experienced before.

What you were feeling was incredible, the pleasure, the elation! The way Bucky moved inside you, the ease with which he glided in and out would be your undoing. In all of your past experiences, you'd never felt this degree of bliss. It certainly helped that Bucky was muttering a barrage of praises into your ear about how amazing you felt, how well you took him,

“Angel, I'm close. I can't-”

“That's okay Bucky,” you whispered in his ear. “Come for me?”

“Only for you, Angel.” He moaned, as he thrusted into you one more time before spilling his seed inside you.

The supersoldier serum coursing through his veins meant that it didn't take him long to recover and he was propping himself up to look at you.

“Did you…?” he panted.

“What?” You were surprised by his question. “I- I-” You flushed, embarrassed that you hadn't climaxed when he had. But you had agreed to communicate with him, so you shook your head with a small pout.

“Okay.” He climbed off you.

“Okay.” You echoed him, accepting that this was the end of the discussion.

But what happened next isn't what you were expecting. Bucky climbed down to the other end of the sofa and hooked his arms under your knees.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

“Buck, what’re you doing?”

“These,” he patted your knees, “go here.” He pointed his thumbs towards his shoulders. “I'm just gonna put this cushion under here so you're comfortable.” Bucky pushed a couch cushion under your hips to lift them.

“Bucky?”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yeah, but-”

“If you don't like it, you can tell me to stop. Okay?”

“Okay.”

A mischievous glint appeared on Bucky's face and he gripped your hips and raised them up to his mouth where he proceeded to devour you until you were squirming and bucking against his mouth. He ran his tongue lightly over your lips before pushing through and licking and sucking your clit. It wasn't long before you were screaming his name and falling over the edge into an oblivion of Bucky’s making.

He smiled as he lowered you back down onto the sofa, massaging your hips after the strain he had put on them spreading your legs.

“How you feeling, Angel?”

The only sound that came out of your mouth was a few random unintelligible notes.

Bucky chuckled and lay down beside you. “I know exactly how you feel, Angel. Can we do this again soon? You can remind me just how amazing you are.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes imagine

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thecherrytarot · 1 year

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𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

what does your future spouse love the most about you?

pile 1 → pile 2 → pile 3

Pick the photo you feel the most drawn to and please remember that this is just a general reading so you might not relate to everything that is written, take what resonates.

listen to: die for you by The Weeknd

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏:

"it's hard for me to communicate the thoughts that i hold, but tonight, i'm gon' let you know, let me tell the truth, baby, let me tell the truth, yeah"

They love how you are the 'lightness' to their 'darkness'. They like how you guide them through the dark paths of life. They love how you can touch their heart so easily because others found it difficult. With you, they feel like fixing everything in their life because they want to be better for you and with you. They may struggle with being emotional but for you? they're ready to provide you with emotional security. The crescent moon phase might be important for some of you (you/they could have been born on a crescent moon night or yall have your first meet/date under that moon) They love how you got them out of their comfort zone and made them let go of their fear of the unknown (it's giving sunshine x grumpy vibes but yall are both) They love you through all of your transformations and are proud of you for always trying to be your best self, it is inspiring to them. They also love how you show yourself to them, little by little and give them time to appreciate every version of you. They love how you are the answer to their manifestations. Due to this, they might even call you an 'angel' because the divine sent you to them.

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐:

"i don't want this feelin', i can't afford love. i try to find a reason to pull us apart, it ain't workin', 'cause you're perfect, and i know that you're worth it, i can't walk away, oh"

They love how you always stand tall, no matter how many times you fall down. They love the way you talk, and the way you phrase your sentences and say the right things at the right time. They love how you don't try hard or change yourself to fit into the standards of the society and instead focus on yourself for yourself. It felt like such a foreign concept to them and I can hear them tell me, "What do you mean they don't care about what others think about them? there are people like this? Where can I meet them? because I want to be like them" They might look up to you because they find it so fascinating that you are so courageous to not care about the stares and the comments and continue to be yourself (your FS might be a people pleaser). Some of you may know a lot of people and talk to them but still manage to keep your personal life ~mysterious~ and they love how reserved you are and only tell people what you want them to know (i feel like along with people pleaser they are an oversharer) They love how strong you are with your principles and boundaries and how you do not let people walk over you. They also love how you can find a balance and know when to set your emotions aside to make a decision.

𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑:

"the distance and the time between us, it'll never change my mind 'cause baby, i would die for you, baby, i would die for you, yeah"

They love your thighs like it is not something 18 plus (i mean it is a little bit but it is more domestic!!!) They love laying their head down in between your thighs, listening to Cigarettes After Sex (or even The Weeknd) and when you start playing with their hair, they look up to you and you are already looking at them with such pretty eyes, they are a goner because they feel so loved and wanted, they feel like you complete them. When i was meditating they told me that they think that stars shine in your eyes and they shine only for them and how they secretly love it when you call them 'a simp'. For some of you, you could be a foreigner, or for some, you could be childhood friends but one of you moved to a different place and you both might have been in a long-distance relationship for some time but still, they love how you both stayed together despite all the problems, especially when people around you told you that it might not work out and you should just give up. They love how you trusted your 'red string of fate' bond with them and not the background noise.

Thank you so much for reading!

#free tarot reading #future spouse tarot #future spouse tarot reading #pac tarot #pac reading #general tarot reading #love tarot reading #tarot reading #fs tarot #pick a card reading #fs pac #future spouse #tarot #love tarot #free tarot

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captainmera · 1 year

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i never realised just how much tgb had changed how i thought about the characters (mostly vee) until yesterday when i was re-looking over my toh fan-art. You wrote them so well that i forgot that it wasnt all in the show. like how vee and gus weren't shown to being best friends, vee never got to be angry/shocked by hunter or just willow still holding a little grudge against amity. They are just cool details and im so clad they were added! ps your great

Thank you! Wow that's very flattering! I'm glad you are enjoying it!

I really like Vee, and the more I think about the gang's time in the human-realm, the more I sit back in my chair and think "Ah man, these arcs are really necessary and interesting though.."

Vee also holds a lot of plot, as a basilisk. We can speculate what the reason is that they were extinct, for example (grimwalkers were extinct too).

Wat I really enjoy about TOH's characters are how easily and smoothly they weave into each other's themes and arcs. Their personalities and histories makes them all perfect friends to both build them up and break them down. It's a chefs kiss.

Vee is no different! The set-up for her character was perfectly slotted in to what the other characters needed for their time in the human-realm. And the theme I think the human-realm was supposed to embody.

The demon-realm arc for Luz was a hero's journey, but because of the foil of the trope, and that the point was that: there is no hero/chosen one actually, and the rebels didn't make it in time like in the books, and just because it's a different realm it didn't mean Luz could escape - escapism is temporary.

Dana has said grief and hope are core elements of the story, and she chose to tell it through a foiled trope of being chosen/hero's journey, layered with a religious trauma lens.

To me, looking at Luz as the main character, means looking at her as a nerdy girl in need of escapism, wanting to find purpose, and avoiding her emotions about her dad's passing.

The return to human-realm would be, for Luz, a turning point where TOH turns from being about a hero's journey and a journey about the steps of grief and healing - at the end of it, she will find the light.

Vee, to me, is kind of like a new take on the guide character. She is not a guide, in the sense that she has all the answers, but rather all the truths.

She was right when she told Luz she had everything and still chose to run away. They're not the same. Vee is also a lot better than Luz at being normal and fitting in, something Luz has been playing off and avoiding facing. Luz sees herself as being different as a bad thing, she tried to run away to a place where "weird" was normal and that didn't work out. Now she's back home and feels that it's all her fault bad things happened, because she is herself. And the person she is is different. And different didn't mean special, just different. Of course she's depressed.

The same is true for all the other characters. Vee gets to reflect their truths too, simply by being crafted, narratively, into being the guide.

Hunter gets to face his actions as the GG, come to terms with the nuances of his bad actions, whatever reason he committed what he did. Find forgiveness not just from Vee but himself too. He gets to start over, just like her. She shows him it's possible.

Gus gets someone to share his dream with, his love and enthusiasm for the human realm. A place that Vee feels is more home than where she came from. Gus gets to grow as a person, both morally and intelligently. As does Vee, she gets somebody who shows her that she doesn't just have to be a refugee, she can have a purpose here. She can be an ambassador.

Willow was set up to have an arc where she mistook her newfound magical and physical strengths (she is working out a lot in canon after she changed track), for inner strengths. Willow is a sensitive girl, and a bit of a berserk (I mean she was willing to burn her own mind just to hurt Amity). Willow having to face Vee, who isn't physically stronger than her but is significantly further down the road of being internally strong, is something Willow can learn from. Perhaps even have conflict with! (but more so a conflict with herself than with Vee, really.)

With Amity, Vee has a simpler role. I think to Amity it's more so showing that it's possible to live in the human realm, and giving her hope that going back and forth is a future for everyone who wishes to do so. Creatively speaking, I think Amity and Vee more so to bounce off one another for the plot, rather than character growth or decline.

Camila, I think, is the most interesting. Because she has now spent approximately a year with Vee, half of it thinking she was Luz and having feelings about her daughter having changed so much, the line "I'm glad youre still creative" comes to mind. As well as the terror of losing Luz again. But also, because she has had her own unseen arc and development with Vee, and them having bonded into a foster family that we never got to see glimpses of, it goes without saying that Camila has already done the internal work to take on more kids if that's necessary. I think she saw these kids by her door and thought "yep. They're mine now too." Vee, I think, is interesting to toss into the family dynamic between Luz and Camila, who seemingly are misunderstanding one another significantly. Vee sees them both, and can be a voice of reason when it comes to it. Or if it would come to it.

ANYWAY MY RANTS ARE LONG. IM DONE. THANKS FOR READING.

#TOH #the owl house #toh vee #vee noceda

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ruershrimo · 8 months

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take me back (take me with you) | f. megumi x fem! reader | chapter 1: nostalgia

ao3 link for additional author's notes | playlist | next | m.list

chapter synopsis:

'“You’re my best friends forever,” you whisper to them. It’s the truth and it’s a promise. The train halts with that chuffing sound all trains produce, and your mother holds the luggage as well as your other hand as you wave to them goodbye.'--- ' It’s very late and I still have so much I want to talk about with you, but I’m really sleepy now. My eyes are barely open and my face is about to fall on the paper, I think. Just know that I'm thinking of the two of you all the time. XX

Love, [Name]

(P.S.: I still have your hair tie. Do you know if I’ll ever be able to give it back?)'

word count: ~5k; tws: none for now

2-4-2015

Dear Fushiguro Tsumiki,

How are you today? I’m so sorry that we haven’t talked in so long.

Forgive me for asking so many questions in this letter— I know too little about writing them; my mother is the one who asked me to write this saying that it would help me keep in touch with my friends or write better (either of the two, I can’t quite remember).

Between an urban area or a rural area, which would you prefer? I’ve had to go all around the place because of my mother and I’m still all the way in Tanegashima now. If you were to go from Tokyo to where I am, you’d have to either go for a drive lasting more than 20 hours or book a three hour flight.

I’ve only stayed in the city once— that was when we were still in the same school, and we could all fit in my aunt’s apartment since my father was outstationed for the whole year. But I digress. Personally I prefer the city. It all feels so modern, and so much less empty than how it’s like here on this little island. I mean, we have the space centre, so I can always visit that, but after the third or fourth time you’d probably get a little bored of it too.

I wish I could go to Tokyo again one day, though. I’d definitely take the time to visit you, too. I read on a pamphlet once of how pretty everything gets in Tokyo during winter time, especially during Christmas. We don’t really celebrate Christmas here but the pamphlet reminded me of that one December when we spent it at my aunt’s, we ate lots of KFC and had a little party while my aunt sang songs and drank enough alcohol to prove she had a liver of steel a million times over.

It’s nice to reminisce on these things, and it’s nice to reminisce on when we were still there too. I know I never told you this enough, but I was so happy when you walked up to me on the playground that day and asked if you wanted to be friends. I really, really liked your hair and wanted to ask you the same. I was just too shy to do it, and thought that if I would I’d end up messing things up and mortifying myself. I miss that and you and I miss 2010 and I miss Tokyo, and walking back from school with you and Megumi (you were like my cool older sister), and I really, really miss doing each other’s hair. It was the most joyful I’d ever been in my then 8 years of life and every day was a new fragment of happiness to keep in my heart like a picture in a locket.

Now I really want to go there again, and maybe go to the Shinjuku-Gyoen, or see the lights at night. I wish I could stay for a whole year and see how the trees can change from being highlighted cherry blossom pinks, to lush greens with summer dew on them, to golden ginkgo leaves. I’d keep them with me, too. I hope you can take me there one day and we can see everything together again. My apologies if I’m asking too much of you.

Also, how is Megumi? I miss him too. Is he the way he was, still? Is everything okay between you and him, still? Unlike elementary school, the boys in junior high are all taller than the girls, so since we’re the same age do you think he’d be taller than me too? Is he taller than you, or are you still one of the tallest girls in junior high like how you were in elementary school?

It’s very late and I still have so much I want to talk about with you, but I’m really sleepy now. My eyes are barely open and my face is about to fall on the paper, I think. Just know that I’m thinking of the two of you all the time. XX

Love, [Name]

(P.S.: I still have your hair tie. Do you know if I’ll ever be able to give it back?)

28-2-2011

The train to the airport is arriving in a minute, and you’re sure your mother won’t let you just wait for the next one, so you’re stuck clutching your little luggage bag as you look at Tsumiki and Megumi, that inseparable pair, and their snowy-haired “benefactor” (whatever that means. You think he’s more like their father sometimes, though).

Even if you knew it was inevitable and that this day would eventually come, especially with your leaving Tokyo being pulled even earlier than you thought it would, a part of you pretended that you’d still get to stay with them for a little while longer. In Tokyo you’d solidified your place and built your roots— you had friends, were doing alright in school and had even begun to be less anxious about everything. Now you’d be uprooted again, you thought as your fists trembled, Now you’d be back to square one.

2011 had started as a busy year— your father had begun preparations to move somewhere else where you and your mother could follow him and the three of you would be together again. It was busy for Tsumiki, too, who had more school matters to tend to due to her being one of the best, most well-rounded students in her year (you didn’t know much of the details).

…it had also begun with you seeing a dog when you were alone with Megumi once. It had these unique markings on its head, with alabaster fur and jaundice-hued eyes. And Megumi then had a panicked look in his eye, asked how and why you could see them as well as whether you’d seen them before, which you suppose caused him to be busier after that, too. Tsumiki and Megumi’s benefactor visited you and your mother the night after, asking to speak with your mother and your mother alone. He paused before you, almost shocked, you supposed, but you couldn’t see through his pitch black sunglasses (he was one weird guy, seriously— pitch black sunglasses? Really?). To which she frowned, as the man uttered that you could be a “window”, but that you could still be able to use “cursed energy”, or something. You’d heard of neither of those, and weren’t able to eavesdrop or discern anything else they’d said.

Then nobody else mentioned the dog anymore.

If you questioned any of them, you’d only be told that the dog was a stray, and that those markings must have been a particularly special birthmark. Yet you knew it was all a lie, but after multiple tries you gave up on wondering.

When you’d first learned you’d be moving yet again, you cried and screamed for your mother to let you stay, and for what felt like hours. After relaying this to Tsumiki, she just put her hand on yours before hugging you— always wise, always kind, always smiling, you can’t say this enough about her. Megumi patted your back before she pulled him in as well, and for once he didn’t shove her hand away. You couldn’t even bother to be confused at that— you just continued to weep as Tsumiki comforted you, whispering, “I can’t promise I’ll always be able to talk to you, but I’ll try my best to keep in touch when I can. And even if we don’t, we’ll always be friends, okay? So we’ll meet again someday, don’t forget that, okay, [Name]?”

A day after that Megumi told you to stay safe. Nearly ordered you to swear you’d stay safe and protected, always. He said that the world was dangerous since it was full of dangerous creatures and people who could kill you at any moment, but as long as you were on an island like the one you were moving to, you’d be fine. You furrowed your brow at that as he held your hand and felt him squeeze it— subconsciously, most likely.

“Well,” Tsumiki starts, a tinge of sadness in her tone, her eyes slightly swollen. Megumi’s expression is unreadable but his fists are balling the fabric of his shirt and his leg is shaking. It makes you want to sob and cling to both of them and you know if you did they wouldn’t ever let go, “I guess this is goodbye, [Name]…”

Before you realise it, tears start pooling in your eyes and soon they’re trickling down your face uncontrollably, just like the day when you’d first met her. “We’ll still be friends, right?” You won’t leave me, right?

“Mhm!” Tsumiki smiles— she was always smiling, always, even when she was about to cry along with you. Her lip was trembling and for a second you swore you could detect that in the ever-stoic Megumi, too. “It’s okay, you don’t have to worry. We’ll be friends forever, so we’ll surely see each other soon enough,” Tsumiki assures you, close to sniffling, “We made a promise to always be friends, right? So you’ll see the two of us again in just a few years’ time no matter what.”

“Okay,” you sniff, “I’ll see the two of you when we’re all grown up, and… and I’ll be taller, too! I promise I’ll visit Tokyo next time!”

“...that’s good,” Megumi says, his leg still shaking discreetly, joining you and Tsumiki’s conversations in a way he’d rarely done.

Tsumiki nods, “Yeah. That sounds really, really good, [Name]. Wait—! Let me give you something. You can call it a gift!”

She takes it off, and her hair unfurls like flowers from bouquets after they’re untied, placing the red-ribbon hair tie securely in your palm.

“Your hair tie?” you ask, “No, it’s okay—!”

“Please, just… just keep it, okay? It’s a gift from Megumi and I to you, [Name]!”

Then you’re in her embrace again as you clutch the hair tie, while after a little hesitation Megumi joins in and you swear you can see their benefactor smiling— not just the smile he had when you first saw him, this one in particular seemed proud, fatherly, the same way your father did when you told him about how you were able to read through a whole book with beginners’ kanji in it.

“You’re my best friends forever,” you whisper to them. It’s the truth and it’s a promise.

The train halts with that chuffing sound all trains produce, and your mother holds the luggage as well as your other hand as you wave to them goodbye.

15-3-2011

The phone continues to vibrate in your hands as you anxiously tap your foot on the ground. You’re sure it’s going to end up sore. Frantically, you press it almost forcefully to your ear when it stops ringing. “Tsumiki, Megumi!”

“[Name]!”

“Are you alright? I saw the footage of the earthquake on the news, are you safe? Were you and Megumi evacuated, are you all safe? Please tell me whether you’re safe—!”

“Megumi, it’s [Name]!— Don’t worry, we’re safe now.”

Relieved, you sigh, “That’s good, that’s good,” you say, “It must’ve been really scary…”

“Mhm— everything started shaking as if we were on some boat in the middle of the sea and the waves started getting wilder, and it was like the ground was rumbling.”

You shiver. “That sounds so scary…— I’m glad you’re safe, though. I don’t know why stuff like that has to happen so quickly sometimes, and so suddenly, too. And it takes so many people along with it. I thought I could’ve lost the two of you.”

“Well, we made a promise,” she tells you, “So don’t worry. —Oh! Megumi wants to talk to you. Here, Megumi.”

“Are you alright?” he inquires, “Have you seen anything scary in the countryside?”

“Huh? Oh, no, I haven’t seen anything. Why?”

“Nothing. Just wanted to know.” Now that sounds like a bold-faced lie.

“Uh-huh, okay.”

-20-5-2011-

“Hello? Is this Tsumiki? I need to ask if she’s alright—”

“Oh, little [Name]?” a man says over the phone— the benefactor, you remember, “So sorry, she’s pretty busy right now… call next time, okay?”

-21-5-2011-

“Hello? This is the Fushiguro house contact, right?”

“Sorry, Tsumiki’s busy at the moment. Me too, actually.”

“Megumi!” you smile, bringing the phone closer to your cheek in excitement, “How is everything?”

“Good, to say the least,” he replies, “We’re just a bit busy. Sorry, but I’ve to hang up soon.”

“Oh, oh-okay! Bye bye, Megumi!”

“Bye.”

-13-7-2011-

“Hi, [Name] speaking. I called twice last month and a few days ago. Are you still busy?”

“A little— well, Tsumiki is,” the voice on the other side says. You know it’s not Tsumiki, not yet at least. “She’s really sorry, [Name].”

“No, no, it’s okay! I don’t want to bother any of you either, so thank you for telling me!”

“Well, if you want I can try to get Tsumiki right now,” the voice offers.

“Really? Thank you so much!”

The pause that ensues after is followed by the fifteen happiest minutes of your life since February this year.

“[Name]? Is that you?”

“Yeah! Hi, Tsumiki!”

She gasps slightly in the way that children do when in awe or when someone finds out they’ll be eating their favourites for lunch. “Hello!”

“How are you?” you ask.

“I’m good! Really busy, though, so I’m really sorry if I can’t call you as often… but everything’s been alright. You?”

“Mm,” you hum, nodding your head even if she can’t see it, “I’m good, too!”

-18-8-2011-

You don’t know when you started heading to the phone and keying in the number, doing everything but ringing it. You’re busy, too— you’ve less time now to ring them up, and the last time you did, Tsumiki still apologised but sounded a little distant, just that one bit too busy to be able to tend to you. One step farther away from you. And Megumi was seldom ever the one by the phone. Still, you could understand why. You supposed they always had something going on that you never understood or never asked about. That would explain the incident with the unusually marked dog. No, they weren’t sketchy, but there was definitely something they must have known about the world that you didn’t.

Now you don’t know if you can even muster the courage to talk to you or write to you. The distance between you has widened exponentially and you hesitate just a bit more every time you hold the phone and press its buttons.

Then the phone rings, and after you hesitate once more, you put it down.

9-2-2016

If there’s one thing you remember from about half of your life ago, it’s that your first crush was probably Fushiguro Megumi.

You’re honestly surprised it wasn’t actually his sister. That over Tsumiki and her abundant compassion and beautiful soul, you’d feel your heart leaping and overflowing with warmth because of him instead. Constantly angry, never for once not irascible, always serious and aloof. You’re sure that if you’d met him now instead of back then you’d find him some asshole who you just wouldn’t be able to understand— why’d he always have to seem so angry?

Yet it was a struggle, trying to understand him. It really was. Maybe you didn’t really have to understand anyone, much less Megumi. He never ceased being so serious and easily angered but you could tell from his eyes that he must have not intended to hurt anyone; half of the time you understood him: like when you could see that glint in your eyes that replaced what would have been a ghost of a smile on his lips, the other half of the time you didn’t: like whenever he shoved Tsumiki’s hand off his shoulder, and Tsumiki just continued to smile. Now, that really confused you. You’d thought about that for days before coming to the conclusion that you’d probably never find an answer.

Conversely, Tsumiki was kind and patient. If you’d met her now you’d have fallen in love with her immediately and she probably wouldn’t even notice in that terribly goodhearted, unknowingly innocent way of hers.

In retrospect it should have been more obvious: he scowled at you and if it were anyone else who did so to you back then you would have merely cried and closed in on yourself, yet you never did when it came to him. You just continued to stick to him like those kind of glue residuals left behind after you take a sticker off a table or a price tag from the back cover of a book. You were probably annoying like that. And to some degree you suppose he’d given you his own form of special treatment by letting you do so anyway.

If you’d known what you were feeling back then you probably wouldn’t have admitted anything, anyway. Probably you would’ve kept it all within you, quiet and unnoticed, trying to drown yourself into life’s backdrop like an insect engulfed in resin.

But you’re older now, more mature and slightly more outspoken; you’re going to try to be confident and meet someone, this one person alone who you can only meet now without his sister there just because you used to have a crush on him and—

You don’t think you’d be able to admit anything either. Yet to yourself he’s the first. He always will be, and you’re not sure whether that sounds pathetic, miserable or disgustingly, hopelessly delusional, considering you don’t even want to pursue anything yourself.

It’s going to be Valentine's Day soon and you’re quite sure that most of your school friends are making Valentine’s chocolates for their boyfriends or their crushes. In all truthfulness, you might as well not feel blue about it— you’re 14, that’s still pretty young, you don’t have to rush things like relationships or confessions through and you’ve been told to focus on your studies instead— but the thought that you’re going to be alone is still kind of depressing.

10-4-2015

Dear [Name],

Don’t apologise— it’s partially my fault. I ended up being really busy that year due to something we had to deal with.

But anyway, it’s been so long! I miss you every day as well!

Megumi and I’ve been great, and I hope you’ve been too. It’s been a long four years since we last talked (it’s already 2015, how time flies!), but you still sound the same. It’s like you’ve got better handwriting now, though!

Aside from the fact that I’ve been swarmed with stuff to do (I joined the student council, yay!), junior high has been okay, to say the least— and hey, I’m still pretty tall, you know? Plus, a lot of the teachers say I’m surprisingly tall for my age, heheh. Things are going the same as always. I’ve got accustomed to the loads of homework we have now too. But it’s like Megumi’s been having a problem lately— he’s getting into fights, beating people up, things like that. I wouldn’t call him a delinquent, though: moreso someone who beats the delinquents up instead. I know what he wants to do and why he does it, but I don’t want him to fight other people and get himself or others hurt.

I’ve tried to tell him this before, to be honest. I’ve tried it many times but each time I must sound more annoying to him than the last— I don’t want to force him to do anything, though, and I understand that part of why he does this is because of his own ideals. I just want him to not raise his hand against others. So I have to resort to this.

Sorry for spilling it all on paper like this… I just wanted someone to talk about this to, and I thought you would listen to me, I suppose. Sometimes it’s hard— sometimes I really do feel like his parent instead of his sister and it makes me feel so lonely, really.

Oh dear, what do I do to make him hear me, seriously…

Anyway, I totally get what you mean— I’ve stayed in Tokyo all my life, but I’m sure that if I was uprooted and had to live somewhere else I’d have lots of trouble. Tokyo to me is my home, and my whole life is here. Moving somewhere else would probably shatter it completely, I think.

And please visit when you can! Maybe if your mother allows it, we can come to us instead, one day! And it’s not like we can’t visit you either. Our door’s always open. Once this school year ends, perhaps we could stay with you for a night or two! (If you would have us, of course).

Besides that, I don’t really have much to say. I did have a good day today, though. I went out with some of my friends from school after our classes ended and we ate some donuts. They were so tasty!!! Honestly, whenever you have the time, I really recommend going there with some of your friends after school!!

Regardless, I think this is all I have to say in this letter. I promise I’ll try my utmost best to always set aside time to write to you!!! Get some good rest whenever you can, okay? Miss you always!

Sincerely,

Tsumiki

(P.S.: Do you have an email or a phone number of your own yet? If so, please shoot me an email or give me a call! I can reply more there since I have those now and can use those instead of always relying on our house contact. You can keep the hair tie, too, by the way! It can be like a memoir (*^▽^*). And it’s for you, after all!)

13-3-2015

You remember seeing a little dog one time back in your hometown when you were around six or seven years old.

It was a tiny little thing, with the fluffiest black fur you’d ever stroked, and though every second it was barking louder than your mother could ever handle, it was adorable and seldom threatened to bite anyone. And it liked you— it never barked at you and let you shower it with pets despite how much it had frightened you initially.

He was irritable but calm, someone who frowned and scolded but never raised his hand against anyone— not even that “benefactor” of his who you’d never heard him talk about without mentioning how much he’d like to punch him someday. You genuinely don’t think he’s ever done so, either. He doesn’t seem like the type: from what you remember, if he were to think he’d hurt someone he knew or evidently cared about— as much as he’d like to deny this, however— he would blame everything on himself, you think. He’d feel the guilt rake through his body and lacerate his skin, piercing through his ribs. Yet he’d keep living, and he wouldn’t tell anyone about it; he’d be so quietly miserable.

That’s what he was like: quietly miserable. There’s a certain sorrow in the way he does things; you could tell this from the start despite how young and inept at articulating yourself you were at that age. But you’d always known and sensed that there was a sadness running through him, coursing through his veins, one that you could feel like heat from the warm blood beneath one’s skin.

Today you wonder if he’s the same, if he still seems like the saddest person you’ve ever met, if he still seems like he would have been the saddest and most doleful had he not always tried to act as if otherwise, living defiantly against it. If he hadn’t always been able to keep living while suffering quietly like a child with nothing but muffled sobs in the desolate corner of an empty classroom.

But at eight you thought maybe you could liken Megumi to a puppy. Or something like that. He certainly reminded you of that all-bark-no-bite puppy from the past. You wondered how it was now, whether it was still being fed and taken care of.

Tsumiki was vastly different, though— the kindest girl you ever knew, with neat, soft hair and the type of handwriting all the girls in her class wanted to have. She was always smiling, always kind— you thought she was immensely wise for a girl around your age; you always wanted to be as amazing of a person as she was: always hardworking, always clever, always kind and forgiving, no matter what.

…you don’t even know why you’re thinking about some kids you met once who you’ll probably never see again. Just two kids who you never kept in touch with. Or at least never tried to. You had their contact— you tried talking to Tsumiki a few times, but for some reason she could only ever reply once or twice (she apologised profusely for not being available any time she picked up as well), and as time passed the way the distance between the two of you grew, by the summer of 2011 you’d begun holding a telephone close to your ear without keying any number in it, as if clinging onto it would provide you with any sort of closure.

You miss them, though: smiley Tsumiki and frowny Megumi.

Leaning back into the mattress, you trace your fingers over the hair tie on your wrist, fingers rubbing against each thread of fabric in its red ribbon.

Could you even talk to them or face them anymore after ceasing contact with them for years, though? Heck, you don’t even know whether they’re alive or not. Would they be angry at you? Disappointed? Feeling as if they’d been wronged or left behind?

Still, you miss them. You really do.

Your mother’s calls bring you downstairs, and you eat until your stomach is full before washing your plate. The only other step in your routine now is to head up and retreat to your room again.

“Come down, [Name], could you?” your mother says, interrupting your trip back up, “I just want to talk to you for a second.”

Now, that… that was a bit strange. Your mother rarely ever asked you to talk to her. You spent enough time with each other as is, doing almost everything else besides being in school or at work in the same house, even if it never meant asking about each others’ day. It just was never part of the conversations you had with each other. You’d ask where she wanted you to throw things or how you could cook something, but she’d never go out of her own way to learn about your own day since you were about nine or ten, and it wasn’t like you ever did either. Perhaps she was trying to make the effort to?

“What is it?”

“You like writing, honey?”

“I mean, I guess so?” you reply hesitantly, “As long as it’s not for school or my grades don’t rely that heavily on a task, writing can be pretty fun.”

“Good, good,” she remarks, nodding her head, “Actually, I recently found something you may be interested in online. You still have your friend and her brother’s house contact, right?” she questioned. Instantly you know which friend she’s referring to and say yes— how could you not, after all? “Ever heard of pen pals, darling?”

Which brings you to where you are now: your mother leaning by the door frame of your room as you’re hunched over the table writing the letter. Surprisingly, she really seemed to care about this, even preparing the prettiest paper you’d ever seen, with pastel pink patterns printed on the paper’s edges, and though you struggled with what to say it first the words have begun spilling out of you despite how late it’s started to get.

You wonder whether she’ll reply. She probably will, though, but a fragile part of yourself surmises that she may not, and although you’d like to talk to her again you fear that because of the time that’s passed things may just not be the same anymore. You wonder if the years have made the three of you infinitely different than your eight and nine year old selves.

But that was growth, right? So you had to grow and learn how to talk to her, learn how to face her without thinking that she’d be angered or frustrated, or anything like that. And even if she did, even if it would hurt you, you’d be able to live. The world would keep spinning and all that would be lost were two friends who you lived without for about four years, ceteris paribus. Who could claim that the seventy or so years after those four would be any different?

That’s why you took the pen and paper and started to write, telling yourself you’d face it and finish the letter no matter what. Even if it was short. Even if it wouldn’t be enough to express four years’ worth of unspoken words, from funny things that had happened in school, or what you thought of whatever was on the news, or how your parents had gotten you a new phone.

As your eyelids gradually grow heavier, you watch how you fill two whole pages in the handwriting you have— you wish it could have been at least a tad bit more similar to Tsumiki’s, who never needed any boxes or lines to write completely straight and uniform for each character as if copying excerpts from finely printed books to the letter.

Soon, you’re reaching the end of the letter, determined to keep the handwriting legible even if you feel like plopping your head on the table and falling asleep— to some degree you still need it to look presentable, after all.

“(P.S.: I still have your hair tie. Do you know if I’ll ever be able to give it back?)”

taglist:

@bakananya, @sindulgent666, @shartnart1, @lolmais, @mechalily, @pweewee, @notsaelty, @nattisbored

(please send an ask/state in the notes if you’d like to join! if I can't tag your username properly, I've written it in italics. so sorry for any trouble!)

#it's finally up :)#yayy #take me back (take me with you)#jjk megumi #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro x reader #fushiguro megumi x reader #megumi fluff #megumi angst #jjk x fem!reader #fem!reader #fushiguro tsumiki #fushiguro megumi #megumi #ruer writes

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simpingland · 9 months

Note

Hi hi! I would like to request a modern introvert aemond x extrovert fem!reader smut where reader just needs a lot of comfort because she's so drained from everyone and constantly putting on a brave front by being outgoing and happy. So she comes home and aemond just takes care of her and ends their night with soft smut

Thank you thank you!!

To Imagine// Modern!Introvert! Aemond x Fem!Extrovert!reader.

Summary: reader has been nothing but the the moon and Sun for Aemond, so when she breaks down for the first time in front of him, he just can't help but confess all she makes him feel.

TW: body issues! SMUT! (Fingering, oral sex female recivin, p in v).

Watching you from across the room, smiling and chatting with anyone you came across was Aemond's favourite pastime. You always managed to get a laugh out of them, a sincere smile, some gossip that you would pass on to his ears while he pretended not to care. The truth is that whatever you said to him mattered to him. Ever since that dinner when his family invited yours, he couldn't take his eyes off you, though your attention was focused most of the night on Helaena. You let her talk to you at length about stories she had dreamed, and yet you maintained such a tender interest that Aemond needed to find fault with you.

"My sister Helaena can be an...overwhelming girl," he said as he sat down next to you, the family distracted, and you turned away for a second.

"Your sister Helaena is a creative girl, and those people are always nice. Aren't you creative?" Your blunt answer caught him off guard, he didn't expect you to twist your attention to him.

"I'm much more logical..."

"Or so you think. You spend a lot of time looking."

"Looking? I don't know what you mean..." he turned red and very serious. You just smiled at him.

"Don't worry, it's okay to look. But when one looks so intently, it's to imagine."

"To imagine what?" he looked you in the eye.

You shrugged mischievously.

"I suppose you know that better than I do."

You kept your eyes on him, as if you wanted to know what he had imagined, but Aemond wasn't like you. He didn't feel as brave as you and your smile and your words. He sat there beside you as you spoke to him of all that you thought of his house. Your first impression of Aegon made him chuckle, and he leaned back to watch you prattle on and on. He had fully fallen for your charms.

Your first kiss happened that very night, in the corridors of his manor, apart from everyone else. Aemond had let his imagination run away with him as he watched you flee, and in your gaze he saw himself invited to follow. You leaned against a pillar as he loomed over you to make it clear that he too could be a determined man.

Since then, Aemond had spent his days and nights in love with you. He had known you well. He had spent weeks at your side, and those weeks when you were apart, he was always attentive to your messages, listening to your endless voice notes. You had long since ceased to be a mystery to him, although you never really were. He had rarely seen you upset, though he was slowly learning what things could hurt you and tried to avoid them. He used to be the one who brought bad news to the table because he knew it was you who turned it around, trying to put him in a good mood. He saw you cry for the first time in a shopping mall. He always waited patiently outside the fitting room, waiting for your orders to admire your dress or change the size of the garment. When he noticed your broken voice, he entered the fitting room.

"It just won't zip" you told him.

"We'll get another one," he replied as if it were obvious.

"It's just... this is my usual size..."

And he saw your little eyes sparkling with stress. He put his hand on your cheek and asked you to look at him.

"You're going to look as pretty as ever in a size up."

"I just don't want to be a size bigger."

"And I want you to wear that dress."

"...You don't control me..." you smiled mischievously again.

"No, but I do control this dress and if I pay for it, you keep it."

He bought you the dress ignoring the hundreds of "no"s and your soft swipes, and smiled when he saw you getting into his car with it on.

"I'm sorry I got all worked up over the dress, how ridiculous..." your apology surprised him.

"You don't have to apologise."

"Crying over a silly thing like that is stupid, there are so many worse things in the world. I'll stop eating so much bread."

"You have as much right to be sad as anyone else, love." He braked the car and before getting out he took your hand gently.

"I know...but you shouldn't feel sorry for me."

"You don't control me."

You laughed and Aemond smiled and let you kiss him on the lips before getting out of the car.

That night, as usual, Aemond lost you in the crowd. Many times you tried to pull him out of his corner, pulling him by the arm and forcing him to wave, but you used to respect him and let him drink in peace. You would meet him every now and then, updating him on everything you were told. This time he noticed a lack of brightness in your gaze towards the others. He could see the slight sadness that came over you as soon as the person you were talking to took your attention away from you. You immediately sought him out when you were finally alone. He was more than ready to go home.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"I'm a little tired, do you mind if we leave?" You grabbed his arm as you leaned against him.

"Of course not."

He kissed you on the forehead and watched you say goodbye to your friends with your characteristic good humour. Only the hostess asked you if everything was alright, to which you lied so as not to worry her. The trip back was quiet, Aemond listened to you humming the song on the radio.

"I've fantasised about having my house in silence and tranquillity but I miss your little voice too much, what's the matter? Aemond followed you with his eyes as you walked around the house, taking off your coat and making a cup of tea. You handed him a cup and stroked his hair, smiling at his concern.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired."

You took a sip of the tea as you went to the bedroom, he followed and watched you lie straight down on the bed, face down and hugging your pillow.

"Did some asshole say something to you?" He wanted to sound threatening and terrifying but it was more funny than anything else. You shook your head. "I'll punch whoever you want."

Suddenly, you began to cry. With a cry so loud that it frightened Aemond, who had never heard you cry like that before. He started to call out to you in whispers, but your face was completely buried in the pillow.

"Please, tell me what's wrong, don't cry, I beg you..."

You turned your head to look at him, Aemond had laid down beside you to put his face close. He stroked your hair and dried your face as much as he could.

"I feel... so overwhelmed..." you confessed.

"Why, my love?"

"I feel that nothing I feel is valid. That nothing I feel is important because that's not my role. Today I told my friends what happened to me in the fitting room and they laughed, and they agreed with me, I was stupid. You think so yourself."

"I don't think you're stupid, I don't understand you, please don't cry".

"I feel that if I don't stop talking, people will forget about me, because I really am a basic, boring woman and people use me to tell me about their lives and I mustn't show any kind of emotion other than that of someone who is sure of herself."

Aemond preferred to keep quiet rather than repeat himself, this was completely new and he wasn't sure if he understood you.

"I hope that one day you will understand that this is not true.

"There are things that even you can't understand."

"Do you want to cry?" Aemond saw you nod, and it broke his heart a little, but he walked away, but not before giving you a kiss on your tear-stained cheek. He didn't close the door, but left the room and stood in the corridor. There he listened to you sniffle and couldn't stop feeling that he was doing something wrong.

It didn't take him long to come back in, rushing to the bed to lie down next to you again, letting you hug and squeeze him as the last of your cries came out of you.

"You should drink some water, it will stop your headache." He felt your head nod and ran to bring it to you.

He admired from afar as you drank the glass and set it down on the floor to lie down again. There was no crying now, and your face looked up at him, and Aemond stood with his arms folded, admiring your figure, which still had your dress on. Only your feet were bare.

"I've always liked your feet," he confessed, running a soft finger along the sole of one of them, tickling you. "But I like your legs best of all."

"I like your legs too, Aemond."

"Really? What's so special about them?"

"...what's between them."

Aemond made a mock-tired gesture and heard your laughter echo through the room.

"I thought you were more romantic than me."

"You thought wrong. You're more creative than you always think."

"That's true...though maybe some people motivate my imagination more than others." He moved his hand down your calfs, slowly lifting your skirt. You were still lying on your back. "Not at all basic or boring people...generous in every sense of the word."

He bent down on the bed, lifting your skirt and uncovering everything underneath, raising his hands to caress your ass. He deposited a kiss on your buttocks and reached behind you. His massage relaxed you, but before continuing he sought your face, turning your face to give you a soft kiss. When you continued the kiss, he accepted your consent.

"It hurts me to see you cry, and I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel."

Then he nimbly removed your panties and with one hand lifted your pelvis, and with the other pushed one buttock aside. His lips went straight to your pearl. As he kissed and licked, he felt himself grow as he heard cries that were no longer of pain. He felt your wetness increase and didn't hesitate to slip one of his long fingers inside you.

"Aemond..." you whispered and gasped his name and it served to realise that he needed to feel you and soon.

He removed the rest of your dress, leaving kisses on every bare patch, and was soon removing his own clothes under your impatient gaze, still lying there and catching your breath. He moved back on top of you and groped where he should thrust. When he entered you, you both felt a wave of pleasure.

He moved slowly but decisively, as Aemond was. Nothing about him was clumsy, and he preferred to climax by enjoying all the sensations you could give him. He kept a rhythm that made you shiver and pressed his body to yours, his lips close to your ear.

"Do you want me to tell you what I imagined when I looked at you the day I met you?" his voice was even softer, almost purring.

"Tell me, Aemond."

"I imagined you like this...under me, touching me like you always do, I imagined what it would be like to kiss you...and what the moles on your back would be like."

His pace was no faster, but he did penetrate you deeper and deeper, making you gasp with every thrust.

"I wondered what a girl like you would be like in a place as quiet as my bed. I needed to know what it was like to hear you whisper so that only I could hear you..."

"Aemond...I'm going to cum."

"But imagination has its limited functions." You felt the tingles peeking out, Aemond was sliding more and more over your body in sweat, and your hand came to rest in his hair, you felt his kisses and his tongue run down your neck in almost the same way it had run over your clit.

His grunts grew louder, and Aemond began to pant with you. You came first, letting out a small cry as the pleasure stirred inside you. Within a minute Aemond came, cumming inside you, as he loved to do. And before he pulled out of you, he rested his head in the hollow of your shoulder blades, catching his breath and pushing your hair aside. You felt the coolness of his breath. It didn't take long for him to pull you to lie down in front of him and cover you with a blanket. Your smile was back, and he had that special colour that sex gives him. You were about to speak, probably to make a comment of yours, but Aemond silenced you with an intense kiss, long and sweet but serious. When you broke apart, which you regretted, you didn't want to talk any more. He stroked your chin.

"Nothing I could have imagined that night," he said, "could ever come close to what you have made me feel since then."

#house of the dragon fanfiction #house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #ewan mitchell #aemond one eye #prince aemond #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond x reader #hotd aemond #hotd x reader #hotd imagine #hotd smut #aemond targaryen reader #aemond targaryen smut #aemond smut

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billthedrake · 11 months

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HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS (PART THREE)

"Wow, you went all out, Coach," I said as I helped him set out the food on the table.

He gave a grin and replied, "Just my bachelor holiday dinner... thanks for sharing it with me, Russ."

"My pleasure," I said.

Ed had in his hand a bigger sized bottle of beer, which he opened. "Feel like sharing my Christmas present?"

I nodded. "Just a half glass," I said. "Gotta drive back." I wasn't a big beer guy, but I didn't want to turn down Coach S's offer. "Who's the gift from?" I asked.

"Matt Reynolds," he replied as he poured my glass half full then set to give himself some. "He and I are both into beer." Coach Reynolds was the high school's head football coach.

I held up my glass. "It makes sense, but I guess I never thought of teachers hanging out together outside of school."

He held up his glass and gave a silent toast. Then he replied with a smirk, "I'll admit get along better with some of the teachers more than others. Matt's my closest friend." Ed got a little shy as he added, "He's the only one who I've come out to, actually."

"Coach Reynolds?" I responded, incredulously.

That made Ed laugh. "Um, yeah. You surprised?"

I nodded. "The guy's a total meathead. Yeah, I'm surprised."

My former teacher shrugged. God, he was so handsome and adorable. I was glad we'd gotten the sex out of the way, so I could actually carry on a conversation with the man. "People have a way of surprising you, Russ."

"Sometimes not for the better," I said. Then realizing I might have come across as snotty or cynical, I added. "Sorry... I guess I'm still a little bitter from the way Zach Martin treated me." Zach and I had been friends since 6th grade, but he stopped talking to me when I came out.

I saw a look of real empathy on Coach S's face. "Sorry, Russ," he said. "I didn't know the full story, but I know you went through a lot."

"You do learn who your real friends are," I said, my tone less bitter than my words now. "I realize now that Zach is just crazy insecure, and I just got caught up in that."

Ed nodded. "I wouldn't be surprised if Zach is gay himself."

I don't know why that didn't occur to me. "You think?"

He nodded. "Don't take it to the bank. It's just a hunch. But I know when I was that age, I was so freaked out someone would figure out... I may have been an asshole to a few guys just so I could fit in."

"Damn, Coach," I said.

He seemed embarrassed now. "I never had a friend come out to me, and I don't know what I would have done if I had. I'd like to think I'd do the right thing, but you never know." He took a sip. "I just know I was MAJORLY fucked up about the gay thing. Playing sports didn't help." I knew Ed Stanley was opening himself up to me, maybe in a way that wasn't easy for him. "I always admired how you handled things, Russ."

That surprised me. "In what way?"

He looked at his beer glass as he reflected on my question. "I don't know. You seemed confident in yourself." He looked back up at me. "Whatever... I know being a teenager isn't easy and probably wasn't for you either. Teachers don't know all that's going on, but we have more of an idea than our students realize."

I laugh. "Probably, yeah." Then, "truth be told, being an adult isn't always easy either."

That made Ed smile. I loved his smile. "You got that right," he said. "There's one big consolation prize, though," he said. "What we did just now," Ed added with an impish grin.

"You mean the fucking?" I clarified.

His blue eyes twinkled. "Yeah, the fucking. Maybe I shouldn't admit this, but that was the hottest sex of my life."

Damn, this man knew how to push my buttons. "I'm honored," I said. "So maybe I shouldn't admit it was the hottest sex of my life, too."

"Well, here's to hot sex," Ed toasted.

I laughed and matched his toast.

We talked a little less as we dug into the food. I don't think I realized how much the sex had worked up my appetite, and Ed seemed to be in the same boat.

But as our eating pace slowed, I had to ask the question on my mind. "So, Ed..." I started. "Why did you let this happen... You know, between us?"

He seemed to anticipate my question. "I got tired of putting my life on hold. I broke things off with Jessica two years ago," he explained about his former fiancee. "It was around the holidays, actually, and I guess I realize I'm still not happy." He gave me a little wince of a smile. "Seriously, having you keep me company has made my year."

My heart pounded. "Damn, Coach. I'm having a blast. Not only the sex, but all of it."

"You know, for a college kid, you're pretty damn mature."

"Hardly," I laughed. "I know this sounds cheesy, Coach, but for me, being gay... well, I just love other guys. Love spending time with them, in whatever way clicks." I found myself the one being embarrassed. "I guess I craved the male bonding I didn't always have."

"Remind me to punch Zach Martin's lights out next time I see him," Coach said. And it took me a second to realize he was joking.

I laughed. "Please do. The fucker."

Ed pushed his chair back. "Let me clear the dishes. I have some dessert if you have room."

"I have room," I said. "But I'm helping you."

I got up and started picking up out dinner plates. As I brought them into the kitchen, I could see out the window, into Ed Stanley's back yard.

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed.

"What?" Ed asked, concerned.

"It's a blizzard out there," I said. I set down the dishes by the sink and walked over to the sliding glass door.

I was exaggerating, but it was really coming down now, and several inches of white stuff lay on the ground, the reflected light making the dusk seem less dim.

I felt his presence behind me, his hand touching my waist. It was a simple gesture, and a welcome. "Jesus," he said. "Is it supposed to let up?"

I laughed. "Man, I don't know." I turned to him. "I should check in with my folks."

He patted my side before stepping back. "Yeah," he said. Maybe a little disappointment in his face that I'd be leaving, but possibly I was flattering myself.

I pulled out my phone and indeed I had a couple of worried texts from my mom. She was staying over at her friend's and was concerned I'd be driving in the winter mess. I told her I could stay over at my friend's and that I'd check in with Dad.

My father isn't a big texter, so I called him.

"Hey," he said when he answered. "Some storm, huh?" Dad could get right to the point sometimes. I think I inherited that from him.

"Yeah, Mom's freaking out about me. I told her I could stay over at Jason's tonight."

"Sounds good, Russ," Dad said. Then with a quiet tone, asked. "You're not at Jason's are you?"

I paused, a little freaked out I was caught in a lie. Though knowing Dad, he hadn't actually caught me at anything. The man just had a good sixth sense. I figured I was 21 and had no reason to lie to my parents. "No, Dad, I'm not. Sorry."

"I'll cover for you with your mom. Just be safe, OK?"

"I will," I said. "Promise. And again, Sorry." I was feeling like a heel now.

"I was 21 once," Dad said. "You need your space. If you need anything, a ride or something, just me a call."

"Will do."

I shook my head after I hung up. Coach S was right. Sometimes people can surprise you, in a good way.

He was just finishing cleaning up when I walked back in. "Everything OK?" he asked.

"Yep," I said. "If I'm not imposing too much, Coach, could I crash here tonight? I can sleep on the couch or whatever." I didn't want to make it seem like I was just trying to be clingy with him. "My parents just don't want me driving."

He laughed. "I damn well hope you're not taking the couch, buddy," he said. Then with a worried hesitation, he added, "I mean if you do, I'll respect that... but I wouldn't mind a little bonus time with you."

"I wouldn't mind either, Coach."

That made him smile. He set down his towel and faced me fully. "You know, I never was your coach."

"You prefer Mr. Stanley?" I teased.

"No, not really," he laughed. He stepped up and wrapped up his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him. "You know, I didn't ever think I'd enjoy being with a taller guy," he said.

"Yeah?" I asked. I'd spent my teen years self conscious about my height but now enjoyed it. Ed Stanley was bigger and hunkier than me, but I was able to look down some at him as we stood toe to toe.

He nodded. "Guess I liked being the man."

"Ed, that's about the dumbest thing I've ever heard," I said with a laugh.

"Yeah, it is. Guess I got some hang ups. But I like this," he said. "You're a tall drink of water, Russ." He now ran his hands up my back, over the fabric of my T-shirt. "When did you bulk up?"

"Started hitting the weights freshman year," I explained. "Guess I had hangups of my own, you know, about my body...."

"You got a porn body, stud," Stanley said with a sexy grin.

"Look who's talking," I said.

We kissed. It was gentle and magical. Just a hint of tongue and I could sense our breath was synching up.

"Hmmm, I like snow days," the man said in a low voice.

"I'm liking them now," I replied.

I felt his hands come around my friend, openly feeling up my chest. I was so into his ex-jock build that I was enjoying seeing him clearly turned on by me. His hands traveling lower until his left knuckle grazed the crotch of my jeans.

"You're hard," he said, as he looked up into my eyes.

"Pretty much. Yeah," I nodded.

We kissed again, and now I took the occasion to feel up Ed's body. I undid a couple of his shirt buttons and felt him moan into my mouth.

The man seemed to be keeping his self-control as he stepped back. I could tell he had a boner in his sweats now, and I was proud I'd given that to him. "OK if we just enjoy a little time in the living room before hitting the bedroom? We got all night, Russ."

"Sounds good."

"I'll light a fire in the fireplace," he said. "Sometimes it doesn't seem worth the bother just for myself."

"I wish I'd brought something more comfortable to wear," I said. Even in his button-down, Ed looked relaxed with his sweats on.

"Feel free to dig through my drawers to see if something will fit you." His eyes swept up my body. "Not sure if there will be."

"Thanks," I said. I went back to his bedroom and looked through his casual clothes, all folded neatly in his drawers. Indeed his sweatpants and pajama bottoms were way too short, but I decided on a pair of gym shorts with a drawstring that helped them hold to a waist that was two inches smaller than his size. I could have stuck with my T-shirt, but I saw an old shirt with a baseball team logo. Something about wearing Ed Stanley's clothes excited me, so I grabbed the shirt, too. I slipped the shorts on without anything on underneath, then tried on the shirt. It was loose, but it came down below my waist, which was good.

He was done fiddling with the fire when I walked in.

"You found my old team shirt," he observed, walking over to join me on the couch.

"The Captains?" I asked, referencing the logo.

"Yep, my minor league team. Played with them for two years before I called it quits." He seemed nostalgic.

"Is that when you decided to go into teaching?" I asked. I didn't really know how any of this worked.

"No, I got my Ed degree in college. I knew the majors was a long shot."

"Well, you're a great teacher," I said, then blushed as soon as I did. "I guess this is weird to talk about, huh?"

"A little," he admitted. "But you're really hot, Russ... you've become a really hot young man. So if I have to deal with the weirdness, it's worth it."

He placed his arm around my shoulder again, and I leaned into his warm build some. I knew if he started something sexual, I'd be ready for it, but our session earlier that afternoon had taken away the urgency.

"I know this isn't my place to say, Ed, but you deserve to be happy." I couldn't look at him as I said this, but after seeing a certain loneliness in the guy, I felt I had to speak to it.

"Thanks, Russ," he replied softly. Almost sadly. "Are you happy?"

"More or less," I said.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"I dunno," I said. I realized no one but Ed Stanley had ever asked me that question. "I mean, I'm enjoying college, and I guess I've dated a couple of guys. But like, I don't know, part of me wants a real relationship, something serious, to see what that's like. I mean, I'm not gonna rush it or anything, you know?"

His hand squeezed my shoulder. "Yeah, I know, Russ," he said.

I turned to him and his eyes were on me. Coach Stanley wanted another kiss. I wanted to kiss him. This time, I did my best to copy the man's soft approach. Something about our connection made me rock hard now as I kiss him and he kissed me back.

We made out some, a lot even. But we weren't rushing anything. It was around 7 and it was Christmas and the snow was coming down. We could enjoy this.

"What about you, Ed?" I finally asked as we parted, goofy expression on our face. "Any boyfriends?"

He shook his head. "I've tried the app thing. And this may sound old fashioned, Russ, but... I don't know, I think I need some other connection than coming in and taking off my clothes."

I nodded. "In all fairness Ed, you look REALLY fucking good without your clothes on."

He smirked. "Thanks. But you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do," I said. "I've done the hookup thing some, and I've enjoyed it. But... I don't know, earlier..."

I stopped mid sentence. Stanley picked up on it. "What?" he asked.

I gulped. "I'm afraid of saying something real stupid, Ed."

He put his hand beneath my chin and turned me toward him. "I want you to trust me, Russ. I may not agree with what you say but I'm not going to judge you. Promise."

I nodded. My body shook a little, which made me embarrassed because I knew Stanley could tell. "When you were in me earlier...."

"Yeah...?" he prompted.

"It felt incredible. It was incredible."

"It was incredible for me, too," he said.

"Yeah, but... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think for me half of it was I wanted to make you happy. Like, I wanted to give that experience to you."

"Oh buddy," he muttered, his eyes a little moist.

"Maybe you think that's fucked up, but I think that's what made the fuck so good for me."

He took a deep breath, like he was trying to choose his words carefully. "That's what sex is, giving as well as receiving pleasure."

"It's not always," I corrected. I thought back to some of my hookups. "At least not emotionally."

"Yeah, not always," he agreed.

We kissed again. A little more eagerly this time. Part of me wanted to talk more with Ed, but this felt better. Being held by him, him pull me down on top of him as we reclined on the couch. He was warm, and the fireplace was heating up the room, too. Maybe this wasn't too different from time with my boyfriends of the past, but Ed Stanley brought a seriousness that wore down my defenses.

Slowly we humped on the couch and explored each other's bodies as we made out. He had me take off his minor league T-shirt and I unbuttoned his dress shirt once more. Ed Stanley was hard once more, I could feel his boner against mine, even if we hadn't stripped from the waist down.

But as we kissed Ed ran his hands down my back and under the waist of my shorts, which were his shorts really. His broad palms felt nice and warm against my bare buns.

He grunted into my mouth as I pulled up.

"Think I could press my luck, Russ?" he asked, horny as he could be.

"I'd say I'm the lucky one, Coach... are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

He looked into my eyes, his blue eyes clearly hungry. "I'd love to fuck you again, buddy." He put a slight emphasis on the "fuck" making it sound more naughty. "Maybe try some different positions."

I grinned. "You liked the barebacking, didn't you?"

He bit his lips and nodded. "And how. But if you're not up for it..."

"Oh, I'm up for it," I assured him. "I should be a little more relaxed from earlier."

"Is that how it works?" Ed asked, his fingers now dipping deeper into my crack.

"Can't speak for other guys, but a good fuck stretches me open a little. It's a nice feeling actually."

His nostrils flared as he took that in. "Bedroom?" he asked hoarsely.

"Lead the way, Coach," I said, then slid up off his body before standing in his living room, an erection evident in the shorts, matching his own clear boner.

Things felt smoother and slower now that we were working up for our second round. Yet our eyes ate each other up as we stripped down completely and got in on opposite sides of Ed's bed.

"Damn," he hissed as I moved in to nestle up against his naked furry build. "I'm glad you're staying over, Russ."

I could feel his hard dick against mine. "Funny... all of this happened because I ran into you."

"Glad I got that Christmas tree," he said. "I almost didn't."

"Glad I had the guts to hit on you," I replied.

He smirked. "I knew you wanted to."

"Yeah, I know," I said.

We kissed again. I was starting to worry about whisker burn or chapped lips, but it was like neither of us could get enough. The more we did, the more Ed seemed to get worked up. I was, too, sure, but I think my normal MO was to be a horndog when I was with a guy, so it was like I was waiting for the signal from him to amp things up.

I now used the element of surprise to push him on his back while I got up on top. His hands were greedily gripping my ass muscle as we got into it.

"Damn, you have a great ass," Ed said in a soft low voice.

"I realized at some point tall guys have to hit leg day twice as hard," I said, joking but not entirely.

He laughed. "I hope you don't mind me focusing only on your body... you know I think more of you, Russ."

I didn't know what Coach thought of me, actually, beyond this strange chemistry that had erupted between this week. I leaned up, flexing my bod a little and showing off for the man, even as my own hands were on his strong pecs. "I'll let you in on a secret, Coach. It's kind of a kick when you treat me like a piece of meat. I didn't think that would ever happen."

"Noted, buddy," he said, his own hands coming up to touch my smoother build.

I reached over to where the lube was still out.

"You, um... ?" Coach started to ask.

I nodded, reaching back to slick up his boner. Ed Stanley was rock hard now and I enjoyed the broad grin on his face as I slicked him up then leaned back against his cock.

"Twice in one day... fuck," he muttered.

I misunderstood what he meant. "You want it, right?"

"God, yeah," he muttered. His eyes were on my body some but mostly watched my face as I sank back onto him. The penetration indeed was easier this time. I was horny and Ed's prior fuck had loosened me just enough.

"Amazing," my ex teacher grunted.

I sat further down in his lap. I felt full in a good way, but it was the psychological part of this mating that got me going. "I didn't ask... what's your favorite position?"

"I gotta choose?" he chuckled.

"No," I replied. "Just curious."

His hands now openly caressed my front, his eyes clearly excited. "I love it all. But maybe doggy."

I nodded. "Hot. But let me ride you like this, and you can pick the positions you wanna try."

"Sounds amazing, buddy," Ed grunted. I could tell he was still in thrall with the feeling of condom-less sex. "Only it should be good for you, too."

"It will be," I assured him. "Maybe let me cum missionary," I added. "Last time was crazy hot."

"Will do."

Ed watched me work up and down in his lap, his hands now gently gripping my waist to guide me. Then not so gently he held me steady while he pumped up into me. "Feel good, buddy?" he asked.

It wasn't a question, though. Stanley could read the pleasure in my face. "Fuck me, Ed."

He got an almost serious scowl on his face as he got into fuck mode, thrusting up deeper into me. "All right..." he finally urged. "Climb off."

I didn't know what he had in store, but as I knelt on the mattress, Coach S's thick body scrambled out from beneath me and moved to come from behind. I felt his hand on the middle of my back, pushing me forward. "All fours, buddy," he urged, a new horniness in his voice.

I felt his lube-slick prick nudge back into place and once again his hands gripped my waist to almost pull me back on to him.

The thrusts were urgent and hard now. Not rough, but I was being nailed by a very horny and very athletic man. "Tell me if it gets too rough," he instructed.

"Feels amazing," I replied. It did, too. I wouldn't say Ed Stanley was making me any less vers in my sexual inclination, but he was revealing to me that when I did bottom, I wanted a top like this. That girthy cock of his was riding hard and heavy over my prostate. I braced myself on the bed and felt my prick drip onto his bedsheets while my former teacher used my hole.

"Goddamn... my last load is frothing up on my cock," he said excitedly. Like he was living out some nasty porn video. Which in a way I guess we both were. "Fuuuuck!" His thursts jackhammered into me in rapid succession, until I felt them pause.

The hands on my waist now let go and ran up and down my sweaty back. "Don't wanna cum just yet," he said softly. Then he pulled out and gave my ass a light smack. "Why don't you lie on your stomach and pull one leg up."

I did as asked, turning back to look at his hungry eyes and sweaty body as I did. "You've been thinking a lot about this, haven't you."

His wet dick pulsed. "I have," he grunted. "I watch a hell of a lot of porn, and now I have my own Corbin Fisher guy in bed with me."

I pulled my left leg up toward my chest, feeling my ass crack and hole exposed to his gaze. "Just remember I'm not actually a professional at this, Coach."

He had an apologetic look on his face. "Got it," he said, then scooshed forward to line up his prick to my now-wet ring.

I was half turned on my side, half face down, in a scissor position. The entry was easier this time, aided by the limits the angle put on Coach's thrusts. He was taking it slow, too. Only I got to feel the extra depth of penetration as his cock bore deeper. All the while, those blue eyes were on me. Watching.

"I love seeing your hardon while I fuck you," he muttered.

"I told you, Coach... it's good for me, too."

It was like my words made him focus on me, and the pleasure I was getting from my insides. Slowly, he sawed in and out, eyes locked on me the whole time.

"I feel like I could come any minute," he said after a few minutes.

"Why don't you?" I asked. I was so turned on but also knew my relatively inexperienced ass would probably tire out within a couple more minutes of this.

"Don't want it to end," he said simply.

"You know I'm gonna let you fuck me again, Coach," I replied. "That is, if you want."

"Yeah?" he said a real sense of hope in his voice.

I nodded.

"Fuck... I'm so close, buddy," he said, now very slowly working in and out of me. "Ok if we try this on your stomach?"

I didn't reply. I just moved my legs down and stretched out on the bed. Coach Stanley stretched out on top of me, covering my back closely with his hairy bulk and his beard tickling the back of my neck. Already he was thrusting into me, not fast but hard, while his hands felt up my arms.

"This OK, Russ?" he asked.

"Feels great, Ed," I grunted. It did, too. I'd tried this with a couple of guys before, including my frat boy boyfriend, but Ed Stanley was bigger and furrier and meatier in his build. I loved the full contact and the weight of him on me. And I loved the thickness of his dick plowing me steadily. "You can go harder if you want."

I swear he growled, let out a real bear growl, when I said that. His hands now held my arms down and he just went for it. Hard deep shoves into my ass as he eagerly went for his nut.

"Oh my fuck..." he grunted. Then I heard a deep series of whimpers as the man came, deep in my ass for a second time, his body twitching and jerking on top of me. I didn't think I could come in this position, but I felt a pressure in my prostate that made me feel the urgent need. I reached down and touched my prick. I had enough lube left in my right palm to make it work. Just two strokes back and forth and I was entering my own deep orgasm.

"Oh shit," I hissed as I regained some consciousness. I'd never had a bottoming orgasm quite like that. My first with Coach Stanley had been about fantasy buttons and the way he pressed every one. This second nut was more purely physical, the way Coach's topping practically fucked the cum out of me.

Ed was already rolling off me and lying down to get face to face as I turned on my side. "I guess that was good for you, too, huh, Russ?" he asked.

"Jesus, Ed. I can barely think right now," I muttered, still catching my breath. "But yeah...."

His own chest was rising and falling and I could even sense his heart beat as he smiled at me. "I think you telling me I could do it again sometime... that was the trigger for me."

I looked down on the bedsheets, where my cum had soaked the fabric. "I'm afraid I left a big wet spot."

He smiled. "Well you gotta sleep in it... just kidding. We'll change the sheets," he said. "But I'm glad you liked that, because... goddamn...."

"Yeah," I agreed. I slid off the bed. "Can I get some water?" I asked.

"Help yourself in the kitchen," he replied.

I slid Ed's shorts back on and made my way to rehydrate. When I returned, he'd stripped the sheets and was putting on a new set. I helped him. He was bare chested in his sweat pants. If I hadn't just had two rounds of intensely incredible sex, I would have boned up just looking at him. As I watched him tuck one side in, he looked up, catching me staring. He winked, which made me blush.

He picked up the bundle of soiled sheets and turned back to. "Don't worry, Russ, I'm in the same boat," he said. "Like I said, it's like when I wanted to play with my new toy all Christmas day."

I laughed. "You mean I can't play with mine tomorrow morning?" I joked.

He smirked. "I didn't say that, buddy," he said. "I'll throw these in the wash. You feel like having another beer in front of the fire place? I have some scotch too, if that sounds better."

I'd never had scotch but I figured what the hell. This evening was about new experiences and getting to know Ed Stanley. "Scotch sounds good."

He nodded. "Put another log on the fire, if there's still embers. I'll tend to it in a minute."

"Yep," I said.

Coach S wasn't making a move to put a shirt on, so I didn't either. Maybe we'd need to fire to keep warm, but I enjoyed the half nakedness together.

Coach offered me a small glass filled with the brown liquor and went to get the fireplace roaring again. He settled back on the couch next to me. It was my turn to place my arm over his bare shoulder, feeling the hardness and the heat of his body.

He had a quiet content look on his face. "You know, Russ, I don't want this day to end."

My heart pounded. "It doesn't have to, Ed," I said. "Well, it does, but you know what I mean."

He nodded. "You're a special young man, Russ. You know that?"

I ran my fingers along his delt muscle. "You give me too much credit, Coach, but thanks." I tried to calm my breathing. It was just the sound of the fire and the snow had made everything outside dead quiet. "A while ago, you said I could say anything and you wouldn't just me." It was a question as much as a statement.

"I meant it, Russ."

I squeezed his shoulder. "I guess I'm pretty young still... but I've never felt things click with another guy like they have with you."

"Not even with your boyfriends?" Ed asked quietly.

"Not even with my boyfriends," I said. "Listen, I know that probably came off weird and clingy and..."

"Russ..." Ed interrupted me. "Will you go on a date with me?" I could hear the tension and anxiety in his voice and when he turned to me I could see it in his eyes, too. "Sometime this week, before you go back..."

"I don't want to get you in trouble, Ed," I said. "You know, with your job or anything."

"We'll figure that out," he said. "But you didn't answer my question."

I realized I'd been afraid not of my answer but how much I wanted to give it. "Yes, I'd love that, Ed."

"Good," he said, patting my leg.

We kissed, softly. I pushed my tongue into his mouth first this time.

When we parted we had goofy grins on our faces.

"You know..." Coach S said as he traced his hand up my pectoral muscle and over my neck. "Even if people do find out or there's any gossip... it'll be so fucking worth it."

I laughed, only to have Coach cut me off with another kiss, guiding me back down to a reclining position on his couch.

THE END?

#drakestories

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izzysillyhandsy · 11 months

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Ed-and-Izzy-related stuff that stood out for me in episodes 6 and 7:

Their quiet familiarity and mutual fondness

The main thing I wanted from S2 regarding Ed and Izzy was at least a hint of a mutual, loving relationship between the two of them in the past. The way Izzy acted around Ed in S1 made no sense to me if there wasn't a strong, very old, tried and tested bond there. Equally, Ed's behaviour around Izzy, the familiar way he called him Iz, the exasperated way he reacted to Izzy's izzyness, showed (for me) a closeness of decades living together.

Izzy's "You know me better than anyone has ever known me, and I daresay the same is true for me about you" is the truth, in my opinion. It's about the little things, all the experiences they've had together, sharing a space, food, drink (how natural did it feel when Ed took Izzy's bottle?). Everyone who's had a close friend for decades knows how that feels.

Yes, there are aspects of Ed that Stede gets and Izzy doesn't. But I always had the feeling that Ed feels like home for Izzy and vice versa. This feeling was just very well hidden in S1 because of Izzy's confusion, jealousy and resentment.

(Of course, Izzy is also in love with Ed and Ed, as of S1, isn't. But the (platonic) love, friendship and fondness underlying everything is tangible.)

2. Together, they've got this "us against the world" vibe

One of my favourite headcanons is young Ed and Iz mutinying together, or deciding to kill someone who made their lives hell (with Iz doing the actual killing, obviously). Both learning to fight and to survive in a cruel world together.

I'm not saying this was in any way confirmed or anything (flashback scene, I'm still waiting), but the scene above with Ed looking out at the sea, Izzy who can't take his eyes off him... they seem so attuned to each other. "Where you go, I'll follow."

I know this isn't the most coherent analysis, I'm struggling to describe the feeling I got when watching this scene.

It was like yes, they've fought their way up together. Even after everything that happened, put them next to each other on a ship and they just fit. If they wanted to, they could do anything.

(In a way, it's such a pity Ed doesn't want to be a pirate anymore, at least not a scary Blackbeardy one. Those two have a look going.)

3. Izzy and Ed both connect Izzy's love declaration to Ed shooting him

"You know what he did when I told him I loved him?" "He shot me." "He shot you, yeah." "I know."

This is not 100% clear cut, but to me Izzy's delivery very strongly infers that Izzy didn't know Stede knew (and didn't tell him).

Which means that ED TOLD STEDE.

If that's the case, then

Izzy, at some point, realized that Ed shooting him wasn't (all) about him reminding Ed of Stede

Izzy has a better grasp on Ed's inner struggles than previously assumed

Izzy and Ed both see this declaration as important enough that Ed would permanently injure and eventually kill Izzy for it and Izzy and Stede are both like "yeah, figures"

Ed himself knows and admits that him shooting Izzy was about Izzy (still) loving him in that moment

I mean, I'm still shocked about that.

There were a lot of great metas about Ed's motivations after Ep2 came out, and some of them suggested exactly this: that Ed wanted to be an unloveable monster, that this was the only way he could deal with what he'd done, and Izzy's love was standing in the way of his grand self-destruction.

I wasn't prepared for Izzy, Stede and probably Ed being concious of that and kinda offhandedly acknowledging it in the show?

And even if it wasn't Ed but Izzy who told Stede (which I don't believe, but it's possible) - it's still crazy.

Izzy matter-of-factly telling Stede "Yeah, Ed shot me because I told him I loved him" and Stede being like "Yeah, of course, that's our Ed <3" is mind-blowing to me.

4. Izzy's love song

The lyrics at this exact moment:

Il me l'a dit, l'a juré pour la vie. - He told me, he swore to me, for life.

He really means it. They're married. I rest my case.

5. The first kill's always a mindfuck

So, I have this persistent obsession about Izzy being Ed's personal henchman, and Ed "outsourcing the big job" Teach resenting him for it.

In that respect, Ed's reaction to Stede's first kill was very interesting.

It probably wasn't like that in the beginning, but Ed seems to be a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to violence. Izzy is irrevocably tainted, but I think he wants to keep Stede "pure" (he didn't mind when Stede torched the ship, but that's the hypocrisy in action).

This is of course totally my headcanon, but I think Izzy's first kill was significant. I think Iz did it for Ed. And I think it was very difficult for him (either because Izzy-the-artsy-outsider was actually quite sensitive and nowhere near a bloodthirsty killer and/or because he cared about the person he killed). But Ed was so impressed, and so thankful, so he just carried on doing Ed's dirty work and it changed him forever :(

6. Ed's apology

This whole scene.

Scowly face. Mopey twat. Oh, look, you're talking to me again.

The way they're saying it, Izzy's expressions, their body language - it feels so incredibly intimate. From this exchange alone I would bet they were lovers at some point.

Iz bringing the bottle as a cover and excuse and Ed understanding and playing along.

Ed's "Sorryboutyourleg" being the exact opposite of his public "apology".

I almost cried (like Iz) 😢

CONCLUSION: Why is there only one episode left I need more of this!!!

Also: IZZY LIVES <3

#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #edward teach #stede bonnet #ofmd meta #is this meta - not really #I need an Ed&Izzy the early years spin-off #those 2 have an intensity together it's incredible

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dent-de-leon · 1 year

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OKAY BUT! THAT SCENE WHERE GUSTAV GIVES MOLLY THE NAME MOLLYMAUK!! The way he tells him that it's ultimately his choice, and that he can change his name whenever he likes if it doesn't fit. Molly being very touched by the sentiment, but accepting it with the acknowledgement that, "I think...I could wear that name for a while."

It's new and exciting, a name all his own, and a gift from Gustav. Of course he adores it. But he also implies that he might well change it someday. Like how tieflings choose their own virtue names. And honestly, when King decides to go by Kingsley, it does remind me of Jester's own experience:

Jester: “Well, I thought [Jester] sounded cool. I thought jesters were people that made people laugh...[my mother] did [name me], but she told me I get to choose my own name.”

Caduceus: “I don’t think tieflings--do tieflings get--there’s a thing, for--”

Caleb: “What did your mother call you, before Jester?”

Jester: “Genevieve...I like Jester, okay? Jester. Jeez.”

Artagan: “It’s a much better name.”

Beau: “Can I call you Genny?”

Jester: “No, you can call me Jester.”

The implication that Mollymauk makes him happy and suits him just fine now in the moment, but he's also making it clear that he intends to find a new name somewhere along the way, after he's had some time to grow and change. It feels very reminiscent of Moonweaver Oracle Decks--constantly rotating out different cards, adding new ones and discarding the old over time--remaining fluid and ever changing in the moment, open to self-exploration and continuous reinvention.

"Each deck of Moon Oracle cards are different, as each deck evolves with the owner. When a card is weathered or simply no longer speaks to you, replace it with a new card of your own design. Something personal and true. Trust yourself; what is true for you will ring true for others. Some choose to change a card each Lunar cycle. Some decks magically destroy a card when it is replaced with a new one--such decadence!"

Whenever he looks for a new start in life, as both Molly and Kingsley, he's still embodying the same core values of the Moonweaver. Like how he intrinsically still knows the names of his treasured oracle cards even a lifetime later, "Love, Magician--" For everything that changes, there's still so much about him that stays the same.

I mean, when Jester wakes King up, not only was he having "the nicest dream" about the circus, he also kept asking for Lestera. Which in hindsight is just heartbreaking, but--King definitely experiences the same pull to all his loved ones he knew as Molly. His feelings for them are still the same. "I get...feelings from you. All of you..."

Even Molly's "choir practice" reminds me of King. Mollymauk being so protective and compassionate at his core, admitting softly, "I know what the others think, but the truth is...how do I put this...the world is harsh and cruel, and I don't seem to be able to just walk on by. You see a wrong? You fix it."

It's Molly swearing under Zone of Truth, “I’ll tell you--and this is true--I did my best every town I went to and every town I left, no matter how they treated me. And a lot of them treated me with deep disrespect...I left every town better than I found it.” It's King confessing to Beau and Yasha:

"Well, I've been thinking about it, and I've been trying to figure out where the other two went wrong...what was something that either of you didn't like or was a problem with Molly? I know more about Lucien at this point...But I'm trying to make new mistakes, I promise."

"I've realized, at the beginning, that I was running from everything that had happened before, and that's something that the other two had done and so it was probably something I didn't want to do again, which is why I'm asking..."

"It'd be better to...If you think of them as parents--I've been told that the best thing you can do is do just slightly better than them. And that's...Honest to the gods, that is actually what I'm trying to do. I don't necessarily know what it's going to look like. I have thoughts. Some that I think that either one of them might approve of, that you might approve of, and I want to make sure that you know that if nothing but out of respect for my family, for my parents, we always have a fair deal."

"I try and be a good person, or whatever I think that is. I take care of the crew, I work hard. As you're working with somebody, for someone, you take care of them. But you know, sometimes that means you have to get a little violent, make some unfortunate decisions. But I think you know that."

Just...King still having the same heart he did as Molly, still wanting to be good and take care of his people--telling his family, "I try and be a good person, or whatever I think that is." Just like when Caleb asked Molly in the Zone of Truth, "Are you a good guy?" And he says sincerely, "I like to think so."

I also can't stop thinking of Molly saying to Yasha, "If you're going to run away, why not do it in style?" Because Molly is running away too--likes the circus in part because it was always safer to stay on the move. "A lot of this is in the hopes that maybe this would never happen. Keep moving, keep quiet." Sounds an awful lot like when Matt revealed King still suffers nightmares from Cognouza, and Taliesin suggests, "Perhaps those chains will find some quiet in piracy."

Ships are always moving, a chance to make a quick exit whenever he needs to--an escape. Molly desperate to keep all the haunting echoes of Lucien at bay. And then as King, feeling a bit uncomfortable and distant as he tries to reconcile himself with a past. Hesitantly asking questions about his life as Molly. Holding onto a journal of all the Nein's adventures to finally read when he's ready--not now, but. When he's finally able to face the past and make peace with that.

And, like with the circus, he's found the exact kind of escape he craves. Throwing himself into a life of piracy because it's just as adventurous and romantic as all the brilliant color and exciting thrills of the circus, another chance to put on a grand performance.

Taliesin: "Kingsley really latched onto the pirate life, and that's what happened with any of the other Molly's and Nonagon's--they imprint really hard on whatever's there that looks romantic and fun! It's romance, fun, and I have an audience."

And really, is parading around as the Plank King so different from playing at royalty? Because the more I read of the comic, the more convinced I was that Molly's portrayal of the kind, just Duke beloved by his people is the exact same role he plays as Plank King.

There's just so many little moments to me that imply Kingsley is still the same soul shard as Molly. (And if we go by the novel's ending, then it's not just Molly, but Mollymauk's soul and Lucien's, embracing a new life hand in hand.) Mollymauk deciding to start over with a new start and the chance to make new memories, ready to choose a new name to "wear" for a time.

Finally, I can't get over Molly's parting words to the town he charmed. "I promise that once I sever my ties to the empire, I will return in gratitude. And I'll return myself. No heralds for such hospitality." I just can't help thinking of...King telling the Nein, “Not now, but in the future, I'd like to hear about your friend. Later, once I--once I know me better." Yasha telling him, "I would love that...it's nice to have you back," and King's warm, "It's nice to be back."

Yasha: "You know what I mean."

Kingsley: "I do--"

Because he does know. Because part of him knows he'll always be their Circus Man, even if he's not ready to reckon with what that means. "Thank you, I--I'm looking forward to the future, and I hope I deserve to have woken up surrounded by such people...Thank you all, really, for my life. But I figure I better get to using it..." "After a few years, finally reads that book, and goes to visit and learn."

Thinking of one day when King feels comfortable enough to drop his mantle of the Plank King and appear before the Nein as just Tealeaf. Just himself--

#mollymauk tealeaf #kingsley tealeaf #critical role #mollymauk mighty nein origins spoilers #sorry this got so long I just love king molly so much that’s my little royal circus man

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wrengrif · 7 months

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It's Thought Time again

So I've been rolling over this in various posts and reblogs, and I'm finally going to pin down my thoughts and write them here. Some might call this my 'Aziraphale Defense Post', but that's not accurate.

This is my William James take - meaning, everyone's reality is different due to perspective. What is true to me is not going to be true to you, 100% of the time. However, there is a facet of truth in everything we do believe, because we wholeheartedly believe it. That gives us a rainbow of truths from one opinion, each in their own radiant color.

So here's what I believe to be true. 6000 years ago, Heaven and Hell, on two completely different missions, sent the angel and the demon they found the most annoying to Earth. Not the weakest, not the most problematic (not yet anyways), but the ones they all collectively rolled their eyes at. Crowley was too flash. Aziraphale was too soft.

So God plopped Aziraphale in Eden, told him to protect the humans and not let them eat the apple tree that was sitting right there in front of them. Didn't tell him to put up a fence, or wave the flaming sword at them.

Satan booted Crowley upwards and told him to vaguely, 'start some trouble'. Vaguest of orders, no real direction in them. Crowley could have just thrown rocks at Adam and Eve and it would have counted.

We all know what happened from there. However, instead of Heaven and Hell going, 'Okay we're going to really pin down these orders now, sending more troops, let's get humanity really going' ... they basically left Aziraphale and Crowley alone in the office for 6000 years. Oh, the head offices occasionally pop up. Threaten, in their own unique ways. Mostly though, Crowley and Aziraphale were the only immortal beings on a planet filled with human mayflies.

Human mayflies that nine times out of ten would just set fire to themselves, or show greater compassion than either one of them had ever known.

Crowley and Aziraphale were all alone, except for each other. Even among humans, who they clearly understood more than their superiors -- you had to know they both stuck out. Yeah, think on that. Crowley couldn't have been the only one outcast, with his red hair and his yellow eyes. Aziraphale has the most white-blonde, curly hair in existence. Tag along with blue eyes and fair skin and come on. So at the beginning, they only ever really had each other for safe company. As they moved towards Europe, it got easier to fit in but even then you know people were still giving them the side-eye.

They were both transitory - following where-ever a mission went. Probably a home for maybe ten or so years, but then they'd have to move on again. We talk a lot about how Crowley didn't have a physical home until the creation of the bookshop.

That means neither did Aziraphale.

So what happened? They became home to one another. A touchstone in the centuries that passed. Aziraphale never rejected being approached by Crowley, despite being a demon, and Crowley never held Heaven's stupid missions again Aziraphale, so they kept coming together. Over and over again. Think of Rome. Aziraphale is so happy to see Crowley, and it's only been a few decades. Crowley's mood improves the longer the conversation goes on, letting down his defenses, relaxing enough to smirk.

The Arrangement, thought of by Crowley, agreed to by Aziraphale, despite the dangers they both knew they would face, because at least it meant they could see each other without having to make an excuse or just 'happen to be in the area'. Now they could meet up at theatres or in graveyards. They had to be careful - they always, always had to be careful - or the other one could be hurt.

It is the worst thing that can happen to either one of them, if the other one is hurt, or worse, killed. Remember Aziraphale's face in the graveyard, that look of sheer horror when he realizes Hell has taken Crowley.

Remember Crowley yelling as he runs into a burning bookshop.

The bookshop and the Bentley are theirs, but they can lose those and still go on, as long as they have each other. Maybe it is co-dependent, but honestly who else can they depend on, if not each other? That's why I believe Aziraphale begged Crowley to come with him to Heaven, not because he wanted Crowley to be an angel, but because Crowley would be safe - Aziraphale's Home would be Safe. That's why he says, 'Nothing lasts forever'. No Thing.

Crowley is not a Thing, to Aziraphale. Crowley is Aziraphale's Person. His safe place, and he's Crowley's. They both know it. It's why Aziraphale never wants to run away because he knows he's not fighting for a place called home, he's fighting for Crowley. It's why Crowley walks away and always comes back - not because he's weak but because he knows that being with Aziraphale is what matters. It's what makes life worth living.

Which is what makes the Final Fifteen so heartbreaking because they are both saying the same thing, but they're on different wavelengths. Yet, Yet ... as time has passed and I've been able to look at the Final Fifteen with some space, I see that it's not as hopeless as it seems.

Because Crowley came back. Because Aziraphale looks ready to do what he has to do. I don't think it'll be violence, because they've never solved their problems with violence and I don't think they'll start now. I just know that They're Not Talking is not going to last as long as we think, and that anger and betrayal is not going to be the first thing on their minds when they finally see one another again.

Probably going to be that kiss, though.

This why I could never say I can't forgive Aziraphale for his actions, because he did what he had to do to keep his home, his Crowley safe. I know Crowley knows that, too. How is that all going to shape up - how they're going to find themselves in balance again?

Well. I guess we'll have to wait, and see.

#aziraphale #crowley #good omens #good omens meta #my perspective is that love will save the day

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praisethegabs · 1 year

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before midnight

pairing: Leon Kennedy x reader

synopsis: Leon is just a rookie cop and it's his first day at the RPD. things don't turn out as expected, but luckily, you were there to save him.

warnings: smut at the end, re2r leon, explicit content and use of y/n (one mention), use of she/her (a few mentions too), second person (you). minors, DNI! there's explicit sexual content!

author's note: part two of before trilogy. this part is set years before the first one and explains better the relationship between Leon and the reader. this part is heavily inspired by my playlist to write. there are a lot of sad songs there, and it has some personal stuff written here, too. plus: i haven't played re2r, which means a few events from the game are changed to fit better what I've wrote.

word count: 4981k

before: part one | part three

Leon drove to Raccoon City with one thing in mind.

He was excited to start as a cop. It was his first day, although he was late as hell. He couldn't help, honestly. Last night, his girlfriend broke up with him, and he got drunk. Truth be told, he wasn't feeling so upset about what happened. Their relationship wasn't going well, and the best thing they could do for each other was a breakup.

He hadn't a place to stay or a friend to borrow the couch for a couple of days. What a crazy idea, he thinks to himself.

But it was too late to turn back. After he left the gas station, he drove a couple of miles until he reached the city, and it was raining. He was wearing his casual outfit, white sneakers, blue jeans, a white shirt, and a grey jacket; it was a cold night and the rain didn't make that better. Leon sighed heavily, he was late as hell for his first day, what a lovely impression he was leaving.

But, to his surprise, the city was empty.

There were cars abandoned around, and he could see the barricade made by the police. He started to wonder if something happened there because that wasn't normal at all. He drove for a couple of miles before parking, trying to find a single soul. He heard someone moaning and decided to investigate. It was an officer, but he wasn't normal, he was strange. Walking and mumbling something Leon couldn't understand, raising his hands to grab him and with wild eyes.

If he just turned around and left the city...

The gunshot closer to his ear made him jump, scared. He fell to the ground, his heart beating faster inside his chest. He tried to find the source of the noise but only found someone holding a shotgun. The figure was covered by the dark, but he knew it wasn't a male.

"Are you okay?" your voice reaches him, breaking the silence.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine" he said, holding her hand to stand up. "Why did you do that?"

"That thing was ready to eat you alive. I saved your ass" you said to him, checking if the zombie was dead. "Who are you?"

"I'm Leon Kennedy, the new police officer" his voice shakes a little, as he stares at the dead zombie on the ground.

"Well, not a good first day to start at the police, huh?" you smirked, noticing how confused he was at the moment.

"What's happening here?" Leon asks, his eyes filled with confusion and fear.

"I'm not sure, to be honest. All I know is that a few days ago, everyone started to act weird, they were biting each other, killing themselves and everyone on their way" you explained, reloading your shotgun. "The city is a mess, those things will try to kill you without hesitation, they're aren't human anymore"

His mind was so confused at that moment, he couldn't process the amount of information. He wanted desperately to wake up from that living nightmare, he wanted to go home and pretend this day never existed.

"Are you feeling alright?" you ask him, sounding more concerned than ever. He seemed to be so young and so vulnerable.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking" he nods his head, letting those thoughts wash away from his mind. "I need to go to the police station"

"Do you need company?" you ask him, suggestive. He seemed to be a little confused, sure it wasn't a good idea to let him go there alone and unarmed.

"That will be good, thank you" Leon said, his face lighting up a little. "So, you live here?"

"Yeah... before everything went to hell" your voice sound confident, but for some reason, you weren't feeling like that.

"I'm sorry" he said softly to you, in a comforting way.

"That's okay. We need to go to the station and then we'll find a way to leave this place. I don't intend to die here" you said, walking with him straight to the RPD.

"I'm sure we can find a way out of here" Leon assured you, his voice filled with determination, not even a reminder from the scared rookie cop you met a few moments before. "You have a good aim, do you practice target shooting or something?"

"I used to hunt when I was younger" you explained, the shotgun in hands, ready to blow heads from the zombies.

"Really? You don't look like a hunter, no offense" he smiled, trying to break the ice between you both.

"None taken. I think that's the beauty behind everything, you know? We see someone, for example, and then we made false presumptions based on what we see, but then... we're surprised by this same person when they do, say, or show us something that doesn't fit it" you said, pondering for an instant.

"And you said you weren't offended" Leon teased you for a bit, a slight smile on his lips.

"I didn't get offended, trust me" you laughed at him, a quick perception of his teasing. "I just like to think about things the way they are... it helps to understand better the world"

"And what's your perception of this situation?" Leon asks, a genuine hint of curiosity in his voice. He seemed so surprised by your words that he needed to hear more.

"Well, I'm still elaborating, but I'll let you know when I finish" you wink at him, playful, seeing his face blush. As you both kept walking towards the police station, the silence wasn't bothering you both anymore. "And here we are, rookie"

"Hey, look... maybe it's best if we stick together..." Leon suggested, rubbing the back of his head, his face blushing as he says this. "You know, two brains are better than one"

"Are you sure about that?" you ask him, raising an eyebrow. At least, it was something you couldn't deny. He nodded in response, his eyes shining with excited. "Alright, then... we can work together"

The West Office is dimly lit, its furniture overturned and papers scattered across the floor. You looked around the chaos inside the police station, then your eyes found Leon's eyes. He seemed to be shocked like he didn't want to believe what was happening. He tried to find something that could explain better what was going on, but there was nothing. Only groans of pain. With his pair of blue eyes, he received confirmation from you to investigate the source of the noise, with careful steps. Then, a zombie caught Leon by his leg, trying to push him, as you were shooting the others, you couldn't provide him assistance. Until a man yelled and pushed Leon away from the zombie, smashing his head.

"You're safe... for now" the officer said, his back against the door, his hand on his waist, where he was bleeding.

"Thanks" you and Leon said together.

"Marvin Branagh" the man introduced himself, trying to breathe properly. He seemed to be tired, a lot.

"Leon Kennedy... this is my friend, y/n" Leon said, pointing to you as you waved to the officer. "There was another office... I-I couldn't... I couldn't..."

But Leon couldn't finish the sentence. He was shaken, and now you could see it. You raised your hand to help him stand up, as Branagh approached you both. Leon wasn't lying about the officer, but he didn't tell Marvin that you were the one who shoot the man down.

"I'm sure you did all you could, Leon" Marvin said, indicating the direction to enter the precinct, although he glanced at you and the shotgun and he instantly knew what happened.

Leon found a uniform, changing his casual clothes into something that could protect him properly, as you and Branagh waited. The officer told you what was happening and instructed you to follow through a secret passage, which would lead you both outside the city safely.

"Does anyone knows what started this?" Leon's voice interrupted your conversation with Branagh.

"Not a clue" the man looked at Leon, now dressed as an officer from RPD, before returning his attention to the laptop. He seemed more confident than before. "But all you need to know is that this place will eat you both alive if you aren't careful"

"Yeah... I was supposed to start last week and I got a call to stay away" Leon said, fixing his glove on his hand. "I wish I'd come here sooner"

You just remained in silence. Officer Marvin was Leon's superior and everything they would talk about, well, it wasn't your concern. That's why you decided to check if the police station was safe at the moment. Unfortunately, you couldn't stop thinking about why Leon was there when he just could have obeyed the orders and never made his way to the city.

"You're here now, Leon. That's all that matters" Marvin said, his eyes focused on something else.

"Okay, Lieutenant. I'm ready" Leon approached the man, sighing.

"Hopefully, you would be able to find a way out of this station. The officer you met earlier, Elliot, thought this secret passageway might do the trick" Marvin glanced at the rookie cop, his hands filled with his blood, with the map in his hands. "I have instructed your friend, I'm sure she'll remember what I told her before".

"This is good news. We can get you to a hospital" Leon said, observing the sketch Marvin gave to him.

"No, no. I am not the priority here" Marvin said, his voice sounding harsher for a moment, groaning in pain.

"Lieutenant, I'm not just gonna leave you here..." Leon insisted before he stopped.

"I'm giving you an order, rookie. You save yourself first" Marvin interrupted him, his voice sharper and superior, full of authority. "I'd come with you, but I'd just slow you down... now... you'll need this..."

Leon sighed, observing his superior gives him a knife. He was reluctant to accept it, but what choice he had at the moment?

"I can't take it" Leon said, his voice sounding ashamed for a moment.

"Stop" Marvin interrupted him for a second time and when Leon grabbed the knife, Marvin leaned closer to him. "And don't make my mistake. If you see one of those things, uniform or not, you do not hesitate. You take it out... or do you run. Got it?"

"Yes, sir" Leon nodded, his eyes full of fear. It was serious. Any mistake could mean the difference between life and death.

Marvin sat down on the couch again, groaning in pain. His hand pressed the wound even more, a desperate way to avoid something inevitable.

"About your friend... I met her grandfather, he was a good man, and he taught her well. She's your best option to survive this place. Promise me you won't let anything happen to her" Marvin said again, his eyes locked on Leon.

"I will, sir. You have my word"

It was crazy to think the last order he received from his superior was a very clear message: survive. And it wasn't all, he had made a promise, he would keep you safe. He then left Marvin alone, walking around so he could at least find you. You were leaving the STARS office when you encountered him.

"Hey, I hope you had a nice talk with Marvin" you said to him, closing the door behind you and getting closer to him. "Nice outfit, by the way. Although I am sure I rather the other one"

"Yeah, thanks" Leon smiled largely, glancing at his uniform. "He told me there's a passageway that can get us out of here, but we need to go now"

"Sure, just lead the way" You nodded in agreement.

You both started to walk to the underground, and you felt something wasn't right. You had a strange feeling inside your chest, and by experience, you knew something bad was about to happen. You hear a noise and all the silence is abruptly interrupted by a mutant man trying to kill you both. With his fist, he threw you away like a puppet and you didn't die because Leon dragged his attention away from you.

"Run" he yelled at you, the mutant getting closer to him.

Your intuition was louder than your reason and you felt your body raising from the ground, your legs doing what you couldn't do for yourself. Pure fear.

In psychology, they say fear is "a basic, intense emotion aroused by the detection of imminent threat, involving an immediate alarm reaction that mobilizes the organism by triggering a set of physiological changes". At that moment, your brain was telling you to run. Your heart was telling you to stay. Your legs, well, they told you otherwise, and when you finally realized what was going on, you were at the parking garage.

"Leon!" you yelled his name, your heart beating genetically inside your chest. No response was audible. You could hear a loud noise coming from upstairs, the building above your head started to shake and dust fell from the ceiling.

You started to feel pain. There was a piece of broken glass spiked on your leg and you were bleeding. That didn't scare you, but it was hurting like hell. If you needed to run, well, that would be a problem. You were starting to get worried when you hear a noise and the first thing you did was grab the shotgun and point in the direction.

"Hey, it's me!" Leon said, raising his hands so you don't shoot him.

"Jesus Christ, you scared the living shit out of me!" you said, lowering the gun. He immediately noticed the wound in your leg.

"Let me look at that for you" he said, helping you sit down. He removed the glass very gently, then he used a bandage to wrap your leg. "Here you go, how does that feel?"

"Well, still hurts, but it is much better, thanks. What the hell was that thing?" you ask him, standing up and holding on his shoulder.

"I don't know, but I was able to ward him away from you" Leon told you, you both walking again.

"Thanks again, Leon" you just smiled, your cheeks slightly turning red as you both walked side by side. "I'm sure you don't have the key card, right?"

"Well, I'm not perfect, you know" Leon said, searching his pockets to see if he had anything to open the gate. You guys hear a noise, it was a dog. And he was infected with the same virus that turned everyone.

"Holy shit" you gasped, shooting the dogs. "This place is full of surprises and creepy stuff"

Both dogs were smashed by a van. Then, a mysterious woman left the van, she was wearing a red dress and a coat. She was very interesting, smooth, and sexy, even using heels. You felt a little uncomfortable around her presence. She was everything you weren't. It feels weird to not feel uncomfortable around someone who looks way better than you.

"Are you guys alright?" she asks, her voice very calm as she gets closer to you both.

"Yeah, thanks to you" Leon said, helping you to stand up again. "Who are you?"

"Ada Wong, FBI" the mysterious woman introduced herself, with her credentials in her hands. "I was sent to retrieve the G-virus. The same virus that is responsible for mutating William Birkin, which he developed with his wife and coworker, Annette Birkin"

"And for what purpose?" you asked her, your voice filled with suspicion.

But Ada just smiled at you. And for some reason, you didn't like it at all. People always said you were a little bit weird, but you always knew when people weren't telling the truth. And, for the same reason, something was wrong with her. You couldn't explain why, you just knew.

"We believe that this sample can incriminate Corporation Umbrella" Ada explained, her eyes fixed on Leon. "Well, I've said enough. This is where we go our separate ways. You both should get out of here soon, this place won't be around much longer"

As soon as she leaves, you just glanced at Leon. He said nothing, instead, you knew he blushed hard when she saved you both.

"If we survive here, I'll get you her number" you teased him, noticing how red his face was.

"Oh, shut up" Leon said, rolling his eyes, clearly annoyed at your teasing.

Something about Ada Wong made your body shiver. Of course, she was something else. You never met someone like her before probably that was why you were feeling a little intimidated by her presence. It was a silly thing, you knew deep down. But Jesus Christ, it was so hard for you to let that feeling go. You sighed heavily and, to your surprise, Leon got his attention on you.

"Are you okay?" he asks you, his voice soft but at the same time, full of concern.

"Yep, I was thinking" you said, walking next to him.

"A penny for your thoughts" the smile that appeared on his lips was genuine, and for some reason, you smiled back at him.

"Did you ever feel intimidated by someone way better than you? I mean, someone who looks much more interesting than you are?" You glance at him, biting your lower lip, anxious.

"Is this all because of Ada?" he raises an eyebrow and you felt your cheeks turn red like a tomato. He was so good at catching some signs. "Because if it is, well, I have something to say about it"

"And what is it?" this time you were the one that raised an eyebrow, a hint of curiosity on your expression.

"I don't think she's better than you. I mean, you shot that zombie in the head just to save my ass and you stayed with me even knowing nothing about me. Besides, I think you're really beautiful" Leon said very calmly, his voice full of kindness and, somehow, he didn't seem to be blushing. "And as far as I know until now, you're much more than beauty. You're kind, generous, funny, strong, resilient, and one of the most incredible person I've ever met. It's hard to find this quality these days... you're a good person, and I'm glad I'm here with you. I hope this makes you feel better"

You knew your face was red like a tomato, and Leon just smiled at you very gently. You wanted so badly to hide and maybe never see the light again. No one ever made you blush this way, and you didn't know for sure how you would deal with that.

"Now who's blushing here?" Leon teased you, smiling mischievously. You just rolled your eyes, annoyed.

"Oh, shut up, Kennedy" you replied to him, trying your best to avoid those butterflies in your stomach. "We need to get going... as Ada said, this place won't be around much longer"

"What do you think she meant by that?" Leon changed the subject quickly, he was wondering about Ada's words. For some reason, he was fearing the answer.

"I guess they are about to end Raccoon City. I've heard the news, but I couldn't remember until now" you told him, thinking about the subject as well.

"Then we need to get out soon" Leon said, his voice sounding full of determination like you've never seen before.

"This is where things get complicated" you said, smirking. When the outbreak started, the police closed every possible way out of the city. Except for one. "But maybe... we can get out using the subway station. I suppose the train still works, I saw some guys taking civilians into the subway station, they were evacuating those who survived"

"Sounds like a great plan to me" Leon nodded his head, grabbed the gun from his holster, then started to walk. Even for his young age, he seemed so full of courage and completely motivated. He was something else.

And it felt weird having someone so similar to you. In many aspects, Leon was exactly like you and, for some reason, you knew you had a chance to survive that hellhole. Of course, you could do that on your own, but having someone to be there with you, well, made things much easier. You had someone to talk to about what was going on, to help you relax and get through that situation. And, at least, it was someone prepared.

But, if you ever thought about escaping Raccoon City and being fine with that, oh, you were so wrong.

How could you ever think you would leave this behind? How could you ever wake up without being haunted by this night? How could you move on and overcome this place? You knew you couldn't do it. This place was your new scar and would follow you till your grave. Physically, you survived Raccoon City.

But to what costs?

Was your sanity the price to pay to survive? How far would you go lying to yourself that everything would be fine? Such a shame. You couldn't keep lying to yourself for the rest of your life. One day, you'll have to face what is happening in Raccoon City. One day, you'll have to face everything you've been running from. And when this day comes, your demons must be ready to face you, because you'll send them back to the hell they came from.

"Hey, we're almost there" Leon's voice brought you back to reality, and once you realize that, you just shake your head.

"Yeah, I guess we made our way safely" you said to him, your voice sounding darker for a moment.

"Is everything alright?" Leon asks you, a hint of concern in his words. You just glance at him, nodding silently.

"Yeah, I was thinking about some stuff... but it's nothing to be worried about" you said to him, your words convincing and cold, even though it wasn't your intention to sound like that.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Leon asks again, more concerned than before. He stops for a moment, holding your hand as he looks at you. Those pair of blue eyes, full of kindness and bravery penetrate your body like anyone did before. And for some reason, you felt something inside your chest. Desire.

And, without asking, without any permission, all you did was press your lips against his, starting this kiss in the most desperate way you can. If you don't make it out alive, well, screw everything else. Leon corresponded to your kiss in the same way, he was so desperate. He didn't want to die but sounded like a good idea to die being at least fucked by someone like you.

"Sweet Jesus" he whispered, his lips touching your neck as he removes your clothes, throwing them away.

"Come on, rookie. Show me what you can do" you provoked him, removing his RPD uniform.

Leon just smirks, obeying your orders. He laid you down, facing you and kissing your chest, his tongue circling your nipples as you grab his hair, moaning out of breath. You could feel the pressure of his cock against your legs, he was doing it on purpose to drive you crazy, and lord have mercy, he was good at it. You felt him remove your underwear, his fingers touching you and saw how wet you were.

"Is this all just for me?" he teases you, his fingers moving slowly against your clit.

"Y-yes" you nodded, moaning softly, then kissed his neck and went straight to his lips. He started to kiss you again, and when you felt his cock inside you, you had to shut your mouth.

"Ahh... you don't want to attract those things, aren't you?" he moans, sliding deep inside you, his hips against yours. "Be a silent girl for me"

He held you as he started to move faster and deeper. Your legs are on his shoulders as he faces you, holding you tight against his hips, and for god's sake, how you wanted to moan louder. It felt so good having him inside, he was fucking you so hard that you started to tear up, and all you wanted to do was thank him.

"God... you taste so good being all this wet just for me..." he moaned again, praising you as he faces you, his cock going deeper and faster. "You're... s-so beautiful..."

"I-I'm close" you moaned again. He was eating you so hard like he wanted that so badly. You could tell by the way he was going inside your walls and you felt so good.

"Not yet" he said, removing his cock. His fingers reached your clit and started to move faster, and before you could say something, you felt him inside as he started to masturbate you, his cock synchronized with him going inside and out.

"F-fuck" you moan again, biting your lip as he masturbates you and fucks you at the same time, harder and harder.

"Holy... holy shit" Leon moaned again as he moves deeper, before releasing his cum all over you. He looks at you, spreading your legs wide open and when you feel his tongue on your wet pussy, you moaned louder, unable to keep it just for yourself.

His tongue made contact with your clit, you could feel him sucking it and licking you, making sure you were going insane. Your hand grabbed his hair so tightly that he groaned, but he was so focused on making you cum that he didn't care. He held your thighs against his shoulder and he kept licking you until you were satisfied.

"Oh... SHIT" you moan louder before you cum on him. He glances at you, licking his lips and smiling, his hands still on your thighs.

"Good girl" he teased you, smiling and cleaning his mouth. Then, gently, he helped you get dressed again before something could happen. Your legs were shaking, you almost knew for certain you wouldn't be able to walk for a couple of days. "Are you fine? I hope I wasn't that savage"

"Are you kidding? You were great. Now I can die in peace" you teased him back, helping him find his clothes.

But that moment got interrupted by a child's scream. Leon glanced at you and instantly, both of you found a brunette and a young blond girl running away from something. You didn't have time to think, and things went faster than you could process. In one moment, they were running away, the next one, Leon was on the ground, groaning in pain and bleeding.

"What the hell is going on?" you screamed at the brunette, helping Leon stand up.

"We'll explain later. Run!" she yelled back at you, grabbing the kid's hand and running again.

It was hard to run holding Leon, but you knew it was now or never. You managed to drag him to the train and the last thing you knew was that you both were leaving Raccoon City behind.

"I'm glad I have you here with me" Leon said, still groaning in pain. His hand reached his shoulder where there was a hole from the bullet. "I guess I owe you again. This is the second time you saved me"

"Are we doing scores now?" you laugh at him, using a first aid kit you found inside the train.

"Yeah, sure" Leon smiled while he watches you clean his bullet hole and bandage his shoulder. "Look... Officer Marvin told me something before we left the RPD station... I think you should know"

"Really? What did he say?" you ask Leon, raising an eyebrow as you speak, a hint of curiosity in your voice.

"He made me promise I would keep you safe" his voice sounds soft and caring. For some reason that you couldn't explain, you felt something inside your chest. "And I intend to do that for as long as I'm alive"

"This means I'll have you around for a long time, then?" you ask him again, smiling. You sat next to him, allowing yourself to relax your tensed body.

The brunette girl entered the place you were with Leon and the little blonde girl was behind her, following near her, their hands together.

"Hi, I'm Claire. This is Sherry" the brunette introduced herself and introduced the little girl. You said your name to her and said Leon's because he was starting to faint due to the shot.

"Ok," Leon waved at the little girl, smiling very awkwardly. "Nice to meet you, Claire"

"Are you guys like girlfriend and boyfriend?" Sherry asks, looking straight at you and Leon. Your cheeks turned red with her question and you just glanced at him, nervous.

"No, we met last night, actually" Leon smiled at her, then looked at you. Suddenly, the image of fucking you the way he did cross his thoughts and he smiled again. "But it would have been a hell of a first date"

"So you both were escaping Raccoon City? God, that place was like a living hell" Claire sits next to you, with Sherry next to her. "I was trying to find my old brother, but he left the city a few days ago"

You felt your leg hurt again due to the broken glass. At least, it wasn't bleeding any more. You touched the cut, just to see if everything was in order, then, your eyes met Claire's. And before you could say something, you felt Leon's head leaning closer to your shoulder as he fainted. Even after the nightmare, you were glad he was alive.

"Well, we're alive and safe. This is all that matters" you said to her, in a friendly tone, as you watched Raccoon City explode.

The sun was rising.

And you both were safe. You both survived Raccoon City and from now on, you wouldn't be alone anymore.

#leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon re2 #leon re4 #leon resident evil #leon s kennedy #leon scott kennedy #re4 leon #resident evil #resident evil 4 #leon x reader #leon x you #leon smut #leon s kennedy x you #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #smu

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chiprewington · 5 months

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Out of curiosity, is there an interaction between Perry and Chip that you think about constantly?

Like just.. A favorite interaction of theirs that randomly pops into your head on occasion over and over again for no apparent reason other than you just enjoy the mental (or physical, if you'd drawn it before!) image?

Oh cog, there's a lot to choose from- but honestly, there's one that specifically comes out to mind and is something I really would like to illustrate at some point.

As a warning, I'm not a writer! A lot of this is probably gonna be very. Rambly. Part of this is also genuine headcanons, while another part is silly nonsense between Perry and Chip.

To start off with background context, Suits have the ability to sort of "link up" with one another, establishing some kind of wired connection (probably a specific cable located in the chest indicator) between two individuals that allows them to transfer memories and emotions. It's an immensely reassuring thing for individuals who may struggle with reflecting their emotions or struggle with understanding emotions from others. This cable probably is also used for receiving firmware updates and installing necessary software as a fallback if wireless connection isn't feasible.

For Chip, this meant everything. He fits that bill on both ends and used this connection to be able to better understand that his friends do genuinely give a damn about him.

Come the Override, however... this isn't possible. Or at least not fully. He is still capable of receiving information from someone else linked up to him, he can still receive firmware updates and what have you. What he can't do is give information about himself. The moment someone tries to connect to him, they would be immediately overwhelmed by a sheer amount of garbage noise that would make it incredibly hard to focus on the information exchange. Theoretically, this does mean that Chip can still be told he's loved by a dear friend as an undeniable truth, but it just doesn't seem worth if when it's impossible to convey that you feel the same. Despite it being therapeutic for him in the past, it's yet another thing that was ripped away from him by the Override.

That's when Perry comes into play, far into their bond with one another. After taking eir time researching into Suit structure and building to better understand how to conduct repairs on Chip, ey would eventually come upon the whole wired connection deal and be curious. Of course, a Toon doesn't really have cables or need to be plugged into anything. However, ey definitely had an idea on how to make it work (with telling Chip in advance, of course. He was a bit skeptical of the idea- but was convinced to give the connection a try again after all this time).

Cue Perry waltzing into the back room with a TENS machine, prompting immediate confusion from Chip. Ey have an idea. Ey don't know if it'll work, but ey sure have an idea. In place of one of the cables, Chip instead plugs himself into the machine while one of the electrodes is slapped onto Perry forehead. Ey look a bit silly with it. Turn the machine on, and...

Perry heavily winces. It works! ...But all Perry hears and feels is garbage noise. It makes em scattered, of course leading Chip to becoming concerned, leaning towards wanting to call this off, but this toon is a stubborn one. Ey still pull through, able to send information to Chip about how much ey love him, truly. Allow him to peer into careful choices of memories, able to feel what ey felt in the moment, even if certain ones were oddly... incomprehensible, for some reason. Still though, the moment wasn't as good as it could be, knowing that he couldn't reciprocate the gesture.

The constant having to actively Not think about The Grey however, but with the barrage of awful static filling eir ears, Perry would start to feel a disconnect in that moment, and that disconnect would surprisingly play the cards in both their favor.

For just a moment, everything was suddenly clear. Perry had the wind knocked out of eir lungs. Ey could feel eir eyes immediately start to water. Ey couldn't speak. Ey could only reach up and hold him by his face.

And then the garbage noise was back.

This session ended shortly after that. Perry kept holding onto Chip for the rest of the hour until he had to return to work.

It was nice. But it was so, so awful at the same time. ...This is yet another routine these two would incorporate into their schedules.

#ask #toontown #corporateclash #corporate clash #ttcc #toontown corporate clash #toontowncorporateclash #chip revvington #chainsaw consultant #perry winkles #headcanons #long post #part headcanons part me rambling #i'm not a writer at all i just think about things excessively #cherry #hcips

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agirlandherquill · 6 months

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alrighty, so being tagged by @katwritesshit means i'm up for a very interesting tag game so here goes

rules: answer as many (or as few) of the questions about your WIP as you can

What was the first part of your WIP that you created? - might be my favourite question of the lot but for me at least, it's pretty simple, i start with an idea - a theme of sorts I suppose, and I wanted to write about a heist, I wanted treachery, danger, and crime (lots and lots of crime), and from there I spun the rest of my story

If your story was a TV show, what would the intro song be? - consulting my many, many Spotify playlists has made answering this one very difficult (shoutout once again to @katwritesshit for The World Ender because I love that song) but I'm going to have to say Dinner and Diatribes by Hozier or As It was, also by Hozier, most likely because I've spent a great majority of this story listening to Hozier along the way, since Wasteland Baby is one of my favourite albums and it fits so so well

Who are your favourite character(s) and why? - I feel as though I'm committing to a betrayal here by not saying the character who is supposed to be the main protagonist but I'm going to go for Fenley, purely because his cynical, overall dark demeanour has been the most entertaining to write (and his POV contains some of my favourite scenes of the novel)

What other pieces of media could share a fan base with your WIP? - now this one is FUN. especially since I draw inspiration from so so many things, Throne of Glass, The Cruel Prince, The Mummy (one of my all time favourite movies), Now You See Me, The Witcher - just to name a few, I'm not even going to mention the inspiration for the combat scenes because action movies are just (insert chef's kiss)

What has been your biggest struggle while writing your WIP? - truth be told, finding the time to write, as this labour of love has taken me a solid four (ish, I think) years to write, a lot has happened, I've grown with my novel which is to me at least, a very heartwarming thing

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them! - sadly there aren't any major animal characters in my story, my characters use horses for transport most of the time but that's about it

How do your characters get around? - well, when they aren't on horseback they're either walking or sprinting for their lives

What part of your WIP are you working on right now? - edits, dreaded, dreaded edits - just kidding I'm loving getting to dive into the earlier parts of my novel and change bits as I go, I'm falling in love with the story all over again and I'm only editing Chapter 7/40(something, the current number escapes my mind)

What aspects of your WIP do you think will draw people in? - hopefully the sheer and utter chaos of unlikely thieves trying to do an impossible thing, the characters are my favourite sort to read about, and the tropes (not giving too much away I do enjoy a good mystery :) )

and that's about it, this was super fun so thanks for the tag!

and passing the metaphorical torch on, I'm going to tag: @the-ellia-west @somethingclevermahogony @unlikelycreationwasteland @leotheponderer @alwri-tes and of course anyone else that would like to give it a go! (being new at tag games appears to be my fatal flaw since i have very little clue who to tag, but here you go!)

(and as usual in my rambly responses, very, very little read through, but in my defence this is a late night post so I feel as though the grammar-police might cut me some slack :) )

#writeblr #creative writing #writing #fiction #writinganovel #novel #writer #writers on tumblr #writing game #wip game

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meowww-ffxiv · 1 month

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Extra lore on Erenville's village:

More lore:

I wonder why it wasn't included in the feats, huh. Meta perspective is that they can only fit so much in and wanted the rest of the expac to be about Alexandria.

But there are some other things:

Clearly, Cahciua put on the regulator. Was it out of curiosity, or...?

Or she didn't actually have a problem with some things being forgotten? We only saw her name immortalized on the stone of the giants, alongside everyone else's. She also clearly had an issue with telling the truth, even if it was as enormous as it was to her son.

But precisely because it was such an enormous truth, you could ask well why DIDN'T you tell him? Doesn't he deserve to know?

I'm of the reading/interpretation that Cahciua was not the best mother, in the way she dictated her story to Erenville to the very end, in a way. Her efforts were genuine of course, but I wonder... I think that there are well-meaning whom you love a lot, who still would not allow YOU the room to decide for yourself how you're going to process something that concerns both you and them, like grief.

Erenville said it himself. "You always do what you want," he told Cahciua.

I think Cahciua belongs to the second part of Dawntrail's story because she was a component or cog in the "If we corral you in a humane way, into our way of life and our way of thinking, is it corralling? Is it wrong? If we did it just to survive, if we destroyed and deformed your home and all that came before to make space for us but offered you bread and water, is it wrong?"

Being well-meaning doesn't really absolve you from hurting those around you, does it. So it asks you, well, what is your scales? Where do you draw the line? Was Cahciua a good mother and doing her best to make the most out of a tragedy for her son? Or did her dragging him along with a big smile in Living Memory while he so clearly struggled every step with the whole thing its own kind of soft-handed callousness?

The story ends with Erenville graciously accepting Cahciua's legacy and making peace with Cahciua's drawn-out but also way too fast leaving. But grief did tend to linger, and from my perspective playing through Living Memory, I wonder how much he came to terms with it and how much he was exhausted into it.

These injuries will not matter a lot, in the grand scheme of things. The people you care about most will sometimes hurt you even as they're doing their best by you, I think, and often in completely unimaginable ways to both sides. But it's good food and I love to chew on it.

EDIT: I think that it is significant and intentional that Erenville was surprised to find you waiting for him to finish his business in the blue forest. You waited for him, his friend.

You did not shove and push and pull him along, contrasting with how Cahciua treated him, for all her good intentions, in Living Memory. Yeah, time was short then, of course, but the fact that he seemed surprised he didn't have to run to catch up with everyone felt like something attention-worthy to me.

#chattery

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kayakoto-enterprises · 20 days

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A White and Soundless Place

Freeform I dreamt of. Lola loves horrible people. The things you do for love are gonna come back to you one by one.

Cw: implied child abuse, choking, general BTTWNS trigger warnings.

People...harbor secrets. They carry with them the burden of being. Expectations, dreams, desires, and maybe even impure impulses. They carry ancient history, living a life perhaps they never chose. I could tell that you live a lost life. But it's alright. You're quite young. There's a lot to discover later in the road. Some people may grow out of their careers and succeed in other jobs. Some people will pick up hobbies at, let's say, 45 that gives them meaning. Do you have a hobby?

Art? That's quite wonderful. You formally studied for it?

Ah, that makes sense. You teach at the elementary? Taught. Of course, of course. That's sweet. Oh I must be romanticizing the description, that's all.

My son was keen on art too, you know. He studied to be..what was it...he was going to be an architect..halfway through his stay he picked up photography. He bought a camera from his classmate and worked extra hard to improve his craft. I was so proud of him.

If only I had..said anything..would that have made him feel better? Lessen the blow?

No...he..he couldn't. Neither him nor my husband would've been so kind to the idea..

Hm? Yes, I'm just hurting a bit here, dear. I guess it's quite obvious. Every now and then I feel the stab wounds grow deeper. I may still feel the knife lunged into them.

I was just thinking of my best friend. Her secrets.

Did you know?

I'm sorry, honey. I guess that's why you're here with me. It's not...it's not your fault.

I should have told him. Maybe he'd..find a better subject.. I still think he would have continued anyway. There's really nothing I could have done.

When Sam came out to me as a lesbian I was nothing but supportive. I was happy that she found that part of herself and I was more than understanding when she said that meant there would be no family to continue..maybe she'd call up distant cousins to take over for her after she passes. But at that time even if she got to say that with her whole chest, I think she understood that a part of her was still missing. It was empty and purposeless.

That had to do with how her parents treated her. I've seen and heard it. They were so constricting. She was so shaken up by how militant they could get that there definitely wasn't a point in taking up medicine. I believe she said she wanted to be a doctor...

So, when she told me, I was relieved that she found a truth in herself but her eyes were still so empty. So hopeless. She's been in that cage for most of her life and was dreading returning home from her trip because there's nothing left to do but continue her parents' legacy.

I understand how...burdensome it is. To start a clean slate and gain respect again. It's a long story. Most of us forgot what her grandparents' parents have done, honestly, but there are still a few who hold grudges. I'm sure you'll see one here.

Then she returned home two or three years later. I picked her up at Centerville when the bus came back from the airport. She looked so happy! It was like a burden had been lifted from her shoulders. Like the worry or uncertainty left her like a ghost. At the time, she told me that being outdoors put her life into perspective. There truly is no place like home.

We came back and I invited her home for dinner. I also introduced my son. He was only a few months old. I said that if she wasn't going to have a family, she could be part of ours. He was so tiny! He perfectly fit on the palm of her hand.

That day forward we lived close to one another like life was when we were children. Like the dreams she once had weren't beaten out of her. It was pure. My arms were always open for her to come cry into again. She never opened up emotionally to me again after that. I couldn't feel the distance. The disconnect. I assumed and assumed she was just getting better.

I loved Samantha. Almost like she was my own daughter too. Watching her grow soulless and knowing where that path led was painful. I wish I could have done something. I knew I could have done anything at least for Nigel to not end up the same way she did.

His father planted those obsessions and impulses inside him. He gave him those ideas. I would have pulled away harder but a thimble little mouse couldn't do much damage, right? But I wish I told him I loved him more. Told him that there are just some people or ideas you cannot cage. Not when it's lived in a cage and only broke free after.

He became wild with obsession. So I knew and I never did anything.

You knew too? How?

Alright, dear. I'll go first.

I was washing one of his coats when multiple photos fell out of the inner lining. He returned from a city trip with some friends and I was horrified to see what were on those films. A sequential set of Samantha choking a man. Then hanging him. Then his body was divided into multiple cuts. I didn't want to imagine what else she did. I kept my mouth shut. I put the coat back into the washer and stuffed the photos into the pocket when they came out.

I wondered about those images for months. I thought that those were flashes of an old nightmare I had until..two years ago when my son returned home to take care of me. I had forgotten about the photographs..and then more appeared in his jackets and pants and shirts..multiple images of my friend taking lives or alone in her house or around town. In different angles, varying in quality, and she was completely unaware. There were my warning signs but at that point I had given up hope that I could meaningfully change them.

I prayed continuously that maybe God could guide them into talking it out. That we could return to living happily like a family again. It just continued to spiral.

No, don't worry dearest, I..I'm okay now. Ah, thank you for the napkin. I appreciate it.

I loved Samantha. We'd known each other for fourty years. I knew everything. She knew everything. I just understood why she would do such a thing. I didn't understand why Nigel would do such a thing.

So when the time came for me to go, I just accepted the fate I was about to endure. I was hurt. I was hurt, of course, but I was already dying. I just let her do it to me because I trusted that she would find some other way, another resolution with Nigel even if I was cut from the picture. I just continued to see her as my closest, dearest friend as she repeatedly struck the knife into my chest. I was dreaming that heaven would bring me a vision of the three of us having a picnic just like we did on Nigel's 8th birthday.

I don't hate her for it. I just wish there was a happier ending.

Oh, oh no, did I say something wrong?

Darling, shhh..shhh..I didn't mean to make you cry. What is it? Oh..

Oh, no, no..it's okay..

I know..I know..I don't understand everything that happened but you look clean.

She never hit you or raised a finger or did anything remarkably damaging. It doesn't change that..the same thing also happened.

You have no wounds..oh, right there? On your neck?

Oh, the throat..

I'm not sure what would help you feel better now that we're here. But I believe that the people we meet and the people we love also loved us back. What she did to you of course is sick. I couldn't take the betrayal away from you. But I like to believe that we were precious to her. So...valuable.

She loved you. From what you've said about how things began. She never got to experience that kind of young love and you're blessed to experience it with her. I'm sure that's fond to her too. But people feel it in different intensities. Maybe instead of no love at all, she loved her freedom too much. Too much it suffocates. She's been caged her entire youth so when she finds something she wants, she takes it now that she has that power. And she loved what she took anyway.

I just hope you understand that no matter how horrible someone is, anyone, anything can continue to hold their hand with affection. I'm sure you did as much as I.

We loved well.

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