#i mean they're not very creative it's just to jog my memory fjksjds

[softpine]

behind the scenes 🎬 - compilation

[read the post] + answered questions: [elaine’s trauma] // [elaine’s flaws]

this is one of the first major instances we’ve seen of elaine choosing to keep the peace by not bringing up something that upset her (stevie lying). she’s unsure who is right or wrong, so she’d rather just smooth it over and stop talking about it. we’ll see elaine do this again with austin immediately after this, so it’s becoming a pattern for her.

i wanted this scene to have a melancholy, sleepy, small town feeling, so i thought a church would be a great backdrop. i spent literally hours decorating the church (i gave it a whole kids playground in the back, and a corn field on the other side), but then you only ended up seeing it for one picture lmao. i even had to change the lot size so i could put her car on the road more easily. anyway, there’s this sign out front:

i chose this quote because, to me, it’s a very unhelpful way to look at life: to disregard your own problems because someone has had it worse. like... no, maybe you’re not suffering as much as jesus, but that doesn’t mean you’re not suffering at all. we can see that elaine is choosing to hide her emotions because everyone around her is going through “worse” shit.

tiny thing, but when elaine is about to cry as stevie is walking away, there’s a poster right behind her that says “Don’t let depression keep you down” :)

[read the post] + answered questions: [xena’s dad?] // [why did coco get so mad?]

i learned how to use premiere for this one! it was really simple once i learned the basics. all i had to do was turn the TV into a green screen and then the rest of the editing was fun color grading stuff.

the clip from Xena: Warrior Princess is meant to apply to coco specifically. but i can’t tell you why yet!

“See how calm the surface of the water is? That was me once. And then... [throws rock] The water ripples and churns. That’s what I became.” // “But if we sit here long enough, it’d go back to being still again. It’d go back to being calm.” // “But the stone’s still under there. It’s now part of the lake. It might look as it did before, but it’s forever changed.”

since i had to rewrite some things and i don’t think it will come up later, i’ll just tell you why coco thought she could trust tom in the first place: she takes a business class with him and she thinks the answers he gives during lectures are insightful. she knew tom recognized her from porn, but he never acted like a dick about it, so this was actually a bonus for her. she thought she could use it to her advantage – who wouldn’t want to do a favor for their favorite porn star? lol. she's also noticed him at the sports bar she works at, and he's never caused any problems. he even tends to keep his friends in check when they’re getting too rowdy over a game. overall, she thought he was a pretty decent guy, but unfortunately he ruined that :/

casper has a pill bottle on his desk. you can’t see the label, but it’s xanax. he takes it when he’s actively having a panic attack. that’s pretty much the only thing he’s doing for his mental health at the moment.

[read the post] + answered questions: [was austin’s mom home?] // [suicide tw]

when the scene opens, elaine is rehearsing her apology to austin in the mirror. you could interpret this many ways, but my intention was to show that it doesn’t matter how elaine truly feels about the situation or who was right / wrong, she just wants the fight to be over. in contrast, austin has been giving it deep thought.

truthfully, elaine didn’t want to have a heart-to-heart about her feelings. she’s flattered that austin opened up to her like that, but she doesn’t actually respond to anything he wrote in his letter – she doesn’t talk about marriage or kids or the future, she just kisses him and talks about the immediate future (the dance tomorrow). the interesting thing is that even though austin talking about his feelings is like pulling teeth, he opens up to elaine far more often than she expects him to. he thinks this is what she wants from him, but she’s never actually said that.

okay, so, the gun! it’s the second time we’ve seen it now, the first time being when austin’s grandpa pointed it at elaine’s head in a state of confusion. i wouldn’t blame elaine for being scared of it, even though austin told her it’s fake, but instead elaine has no fear in picking it up and looking at it more closely. she only gets scared when she hears austin coming home. all i can really say in addition is that the gun's placement on the dresser was deliberate, as was the polaroid of austin & elaine being underneath it (in fact, that wasn’t in-game at all, i added it in photoshop).

[read the post] + answered questions: [how many times has jada predicted her mom’s death?] // [sylvia?] // [past/present comparisons]

something i find heartbreaking is that jada has completely warped her memory of her mom due to time, trauma, and guilt. she hardly ever remembers happy memories unrelated to aileen’s death. but instead of feeling any negative emotions for her mom (even if they would be warranted) she directs them all inward. we’ve seen this in her nightmares, where she imagines aileen to be a cruel representation of her own guilt. in this flashback, we see that aileen is concerned, but doesn’t believe that jada’s visions are real, and she even calls her claims “ridiculous” after knowing that at least one of them has come true. jada wanted to lighten her guilt by sharing this knowledge with someone else, but it only made her feel worse when she wasn’t believed. years later, jada still puts none of the blame on her mom and all of the blame on herself.

we have no way of knowing how much aileen really knew. she may have dismissed jada’s claims out loud in an attempt to protect her, while secretly believing her (or at least partially believing her). you can tell that something has shifted in her perception after she hears how the ride operator died, but she tries to use logic to assuage jada’s guilt – and perhaps, her own guilt as well. we know that in death, aileen will repeat “I don’t feel good! Will you take me to the hospital?” – something jada originally said, not aileen. it’s a too-late warning, a constant reminder that she didn’t listen to her daughter and it cost her her life. if jada got her tendency to worry from her dad, she got her guilt from her mom.

[read the post] + answered questions: [who did jada condemn?] // [alisa’s abilities]

i’ve said almost everything i wanted to say about this one, but i do want to expand on why alisa reacted so strongly in this situation. at first, it seems that she’s deeply offended by the insinuation that she would give someone bad advice just to cause chaos. however, it becomes clear that alisa is more offended by jada’s hypocrisy. sure, alisa herself will admit that she does unethical things with her abilities, but jada has killed people with her abilities. except... does alisa actually judge her for this? or does she simply know it will get under jada’s skin? she finishes their conversation by saying “Don’t, for one second, think you’re better than me.” but she doesn’t argue that SHE is the better person. instead, she says, “We’re no different, you and I.”

but i’m not going to tell you how alisa feels, whether she’s being genuine, or if she really does care about jada – i want you to draw your own conclusions :P