#i mean there's a reason why these birds are highly respected

[ratconnoisseur]

my turn to make a Think Tank headcanon list

because i have several thoughts i have accrued and they should be released into the world like a bird or perhaps a cazador....

they're all under the cut

i'll go left to right

everyone has autism btw

DALA

- age at tank: 35

- skipped forward several grades in school. got started at college ludicrously early. gotta have time for all those phds

- han chinese, youngest of 3 sisters. sort of an outlier in the family, not really as effeminate as her sisters, but extremely smart.

- has always collected teddy bears. they do NOT play about beanie babies

- i feel like she'd be from california originally

- had pcos as a human, enjoys being a tank due to lessened pain, but still misses the other stuff. eating. blinking. intercourse...

- she/they, definitely. very experimental about gender and such. dresses how she pleases. slings a mean strap

- very sociable, probably the most out of the tank, rivaled by mobius. went outside of big MT/higgs the most, until that was no longer an option.

- not very animated. doesnt move a lot, doesnt blink a lot. very enthusiastic abt things she likes, but her intensity is very still....not a lot of moving around. it doesnt rly occur to her that she "should" move. takes things at her own pace. stares.

- liked traveling, couldn't do it often.

- the other execs rarely ever viewed her as a "woman," really...and that suited her fine. she/they, you know. but she was never one to just disregard an ignorant comment whenever one would come their way.

- was treated quite well by their fellow execs, really. any mistreatment was from other employees or board members and was swiftly dealt with, either by virtue of her variety of achievements and accolades, or the respect of her colleagues, or....you know. one or two pockets of highly allergenic mold spores found under the offending party's desk. academia is a jungle and brother sometimes you gotta bring out the neurotoxins

0

- age at tank: 31. the youngest of the tank.

- i feel like he's a white latino for some reason but i don't know why

- only child. raised by his mom, i feel like his dad was absent a lot, but he's a real momma's boy. was told he was more special than other people as a child and never forgot it

- one year borous's junior. he went to a different school district until high school

- he had friends as a kid but nobody close. kind of in the background, not really popular but not an outcast. midcard classmate

- has hated mr. house since forever. would rant and plot and collect information about him just to hate on him more. sometimes, as a form of entertainment, other think tank members will ask him "oh, did you hear about what robco-" and yes he DID hear about robco and he will rant passionately about it for the next few hours

- has that kind of autism thats like....almost overly sarcastic. its sooo close to being normie speech but he just gets the little stuff wrong, hes too sassy abt it, just slightly too exaggerated..."this is how normal people talk, right?"

KLEIN

- age at tank: 59

- polish heritage, definitely

- also from california.

- i feel like he'd come from a military family, something with government connections. a very serious environment. i feel like he'd have gotten his position at big MT through some form of nepotism. that's not to say that he's incompetent, i'm sure he was perfectly competent at logistics and idea-ology.

- he worked his way up to head researcher through hard work and a pushy personality that resonated with the board of director's political leanings

- gaaaaaaaayyyyy but so deep in the closet he's found narnia

- abrasive, better people skills when tipsy. he and mobius had a good cop/bad cop sort of thing when talking to investors. he always saw himself as the good cop

- old man autism type A. hes just bitter and repressed abt everything. seems the most "normal" at first glance. kinda hates himself and thinks way too highly of himself at the same time. when u talk to him a little more that social weirdness starts leaking through the cracks...but one might not notice it if theyre not looking for it. hed be just a little weird to them, and they wouldnt know why. inverse of mobius.

8

-age at tank: 44

- mormon. older sibling out of many siblings. big family.

- from utah, kind of closer to colorado and wyoming. raised in a rural area. probably developed his interest in radio signals due to the relative isolation

- professional erotic arts connoisseur. oh baby

- strangely high charisma. normally he might come off as unsociable or even slightly creepy, but when he turns on the charm, it's hard to resist. not even other tank members know how he does it. it's not an invention or anything, either, he can just naturally set people at ease. but he doesn't often have a need for it, so it's rare he utilizes it.

- they call him doctor 8 inches

- big audiophile. pretty much canon but i can see him REALLY being a stickler about sound systems. if he had a car it'd be ridiculously tricked out. a home theater constructed by him would go hard. post-tank he'd probably work with movie theaters around new vegas to help with their sound...probably created synthesizers

- would go antiquing for rare records, tapes, what have you

- quiet autism. just kind of a mild guy. he likes what he likes and dedicates his time to that. when one goes out of their way to engage w him on his level he will reciprocate

BOROUS

*cracks knuckles*

- age at tank: 32. looks older than he is.

- ukrainian heritage, mother's side. father worked for the government.

- one year 0's senior. 0 was his only friend throughout high school.

- while betsy and richie were his primary bullies, he'd get bullied by a lot of other kids. with how uptight and zealous he was, he was an easy target.

- gabe was a gift, the only nice thing his father ever did for him. one day his parents came home with a dog from the shelter, said "this is gabe, he's your responsibility now"

- without borous around gabe was severely neglected. borous would go to a science camp for a few days, come back, gabe would have barely been fed, dehydrated, etc. gabe was the most important responsibility in borous's life.

- adding to that, he would absolutely sic gabe on small woodland creatures. tearing apart roadrunners and squirrels and especially any invasive species

- borous would definitely have kept animal parts in jars. periodically his parents would find them. his mom would throw them away, his dad would beat him and then throw them away. he always found ways to replenish them though. had a library of different animal parts in big MT, just not kept in his house. he'd often harvest new entries to the library in his basement, though. the grind never stops

- we're getting a little dark here but i think he'd work with the local wildlife services to hunt down and kill stray/feral cats. i feel like his passion for biology and ecology and his disposition would bring him to this conclusion. cats are an invasive species to the mojave, they disrupt the balance of the ecosystem, much like COMMIES invade our DEMOCRACY...they should be hunted down and killed and he funded part of his college this way. selling cat intestines to string instrument makers and such. that's my guy!!!!

- THEATRICAL autism. learned human interaction from movies. big, broad movements. theres a theater kid in there somewhere

- liked the narrators of movies, especially sci-fi shows and movies, because they were omniscient. far away from conflict, knowing everything, confident and essential, and nobody could beat them up or give them wedgies. modeled his speech patterns after them because of this.

- had sizable comic book collection

- i have a lot more but i want this list to have a semblance of balance lol. my special guy

MOBIUS

- age at tank: 59

- italian heritage. raised catholic, has the healthiest relationship to religion out of the tank

- pennsylvanian because i said so. would send letters to his mother from time to time.

- bisexual absolutely. very free-spirited, klein would call him a hippie on occasion.

- also like hippies, very experimental with substances. knows just how much of a dose to take of anything for every occasion.

- the most well-adjusted out of the tank. the good cop in his and klein's good cop/bad cop routine

- his morals, instead of deteriorating over time, only grew stronger. i imagine he was slightly more ignorant of ethics at the beginning of his employment, then sort of became more aware as time went on...culminating in his brain-zapping of everyone.

- not to say he wasn't dubious! he's quite dubious. you don't invent roboscorpions without being dubious

- old man autism type B. just a quirky guy. quirkiness is immediately noticed, but he doesnt rly hate himself for it so its just a part of his charm. odd guy. however, he almost seems the most "normal" past that. he is who he is and he accepts this. inverse of klein

GENERAL

- shortest to tallest: dala<mobius<klein=0<borous<8

- as time went on, they all grew closer. they became a sort of scientific hydra, at their most cooperative. company trips, they'd all go together. they were all neighbors in higgs, they were subject to a lot of gossip amongst the employees

- mostly isolated from the broader employee population, out of touch from their needs. made them perfect candidates for becoming tanks.

- becoming tanks wasn't completely their decision, it was mostly up to the shareholders, to keep the innovation (profits) flowing even after the world ended. it's not like they had anywhere else to go, anyway. keep making us money! get in the tank shinji

- i feel like they became tanks shortly after the great war...then employees either, fled the facility or died...i bet a few of them joined the enclave

- if you disabled their weapons, and took them far away from big MT....i don't think they'd be that dangerous. they'd need supervising, of course, but really...i think they'd be okay. i don't think they'd cause another apocalypse scenario without their laboratory. especially not with proper guidance about what the world is like now. they probably didn't have a good idea of what it was like even before they became tanks...i think they deserve to learn how to be human again. beats sitting in a crater for the rest of time

anyway those are my thoughts LOL you can kind of see some of these reflected in the fics ive written....mmm if i think of any more ill add them later yesh......

[smol-blue-bird]

bird emoji review

Apple: 2/10. why is he just a head? come ON Apple I know you can do better. Give the pidge a body, you cowards. Make him ROUND

Google: 10/10!!! this is everything I want in a small bird! I love him so much, I want to hold him in my hand

Samsung: 6/10. he kind of looks like he's made of plastic but this is a respectable little bird. a good friend

Microsoft: 7/10. this bird is weird, but I like him. making him a cardinal was a bold move and it paid off.

WhatsApp: 1/10. this is just Apple's bird but worse. stop decapitating your birds

Twitter: 7/10. his head is a bit large, but that's okay. he's creative! i like his energy

Facebook: 9/10! colors could be more vibrant, but this is a beautiful little Eastern Bluebird and I love him!

Microsoft Teams: 3/10. this is just the standard Microsoft bird, but less charming with weird gradients and unecessary animations. his eyes look dead

Skype: 3/10. for some reason I don't love this little guy. why are his eyes so wide. who hurt him

Toss Face: 8/10. yeah, he's just a blob. but some birds are just round blobs. it's true to reality and I appreciate that

OpenMoji: 3/10. i mean, it is, recognizably, a bird. but it looks like the logo for some trendy restaurant. it's a bird but not a Birb

Emojidex: 6/10. a little too highly detailed for an emoji. but I will always stan a cute cockatiel

Messenger: 5/10. why does he look so frazzled. who hurt this little friend

LG: 4/10. plastic. where's his personality?

HTC: 1/10!!!! why's it got LIPS? this "bird" needs to stop. this is not a bird. this is a clown with bird face paint. get your shit together, HTC

SoftBank: 7/10. a small dove!! a peaceful friend! not a fan of the black outline but I'll forgive it because this bird looks very polite

Docomo: 3/10. uninspiring. but it's still not as creepy as HTC's, so it wins out in my book

Mozilla: 1/10. a.) you copied Apple, you cowards, and b.) STOP. DECAPITATING. THE BIRDS

[flock-talk]

How long have you had Toto now? I’ve been enjoying watching his growth bc I’d like to rescue a bird someday. I have a conure atm who I’ve raised since she was first weaned and think I’ve learned enough to handle a rescue eventually. So it’s interesting to see and note how his past stress is showing itself this far in.

(If you’re interested my dream rescue would be a sun conure bc I adore them and so many people give them up just for being loud but I need a house first lol)

Almost 6 months!

So let’s talk about what’s happening with Toto here a bit more in depth since it seems to be confusing a lot of people!

When an animal is rehomed, put in to a shelter, or otherwise experiencing immense stress that stress can suppress their behaviour. The fear, confusion and other aversive emotions they’re experiencing as a result of those experiences piles up and can cause them to appear complicit. They’re essentially so stressed out that they’re unable to express how they’re actually feeling and that can appear like a state of being “fine”.

So when they make it to their new home a standard, healthy, non-traumatized or excessively stressed animal will take less than a month to settle in. They learn their new routines, build trust with their new people, establish comfort in their environment. The first month they’re usually a bit stressed out, a bit wary and all of that shakes off by the end of the month- they adapt to the changes and move along pretty easily. In general, things just get gradually better from a “desirable behaviour” standpoint. Animal is scared -animals gets comfort - animal relieves stress - animal adapts.

In more severe cases there’s so much piled on stress, usually underlying existing behavioural concerns, and typically a history of stressful responses or a lingering fear to behave (consistent use of punishers) that it takes them significantly longer to reach that same goal. It usually takes well over the month threshold for them to begin to accept a new home and release some of that stress.

At this point once the animal is able to feel safe in its environment, it’s new people, etc. that release of stress will start to peel away some layers and show their underlying behavioural concerns. Once they feel safe again they feel free to advocate for themselves, set boundaries and express themselves freely without fear of behaving or stress suppressing behaviour.

It’s a big reason why people will say “my dog does x at home but never does X when they’re at daycare”, stress in the environment suppresses behaviour. They feel comfortable and safe at home so they feel safe expressing themselves in whatever “problematic” manner that may be.

And it’s clear to note here that when this phenomenon occurs it doesn’t always mean the animal has had a horrifically traumatizing past, it’s been found that animals who had perfectly solid well cared for lives prior to entering a rescue had the same issue arise just by merely entering a rescue facility. Rescues themselves are a chaotic, stressful, traumatizing experience- enough so to cause this to happen.

So what does this all mean? And how can we make this transition easier?

It means the animal is finally beginning to feel at home, they’re finally releasing stress and able to be themselves. It is a good thing! It’s a huge milestone! But it does mean that we’re entering the eye of the storm here as more and more stress leaves and more and more behavioural concerns arise. Suppressed behaviours are explosive- note the number of cases where a dog has had a prong collar popped for the “wrong” thing and that suppressed behaviour turns in to explosive aggression trying to attack the handler. The pent up frustration and stress and confusion can explode in very harmful ways and this release of suppression can make them significantly more sensitive to potential triggers.

So for us that means we need to provide consistency, communication, respect their boundaries, and tread carefully. They’re in a highly sensitive state trying to navigate all these previously suppressed feelings, we need to do our best not to trigger them and make it harder for them than it already is. Being extra cautious around their body language, aware of our vocal tones, making a list of current triggers, and utilizing management strategies to live cooperatively while navigating through this.

Each day gets taken as it comes, utilizing compassionate training to help them through big feelings.

With time the effects of suppression will taper out and the core triggers can be isolated and proper training plans can be implemented!

[tamelee]

Hey!

I love your analysis so much! You are the most impartial and nice person I met here so far ❤️❤️❤️

What do you think about the theory that Naruto invented harem jutsu because he wanted to get some men attention? It’s a little messed up since he was a kid, but I mean… Little girls have crushes on grown up men, boys probably have the same (Not saying he was doing it because he crushed on everyone in the village!) but there were times that he didn’t do it to gain something or anything. I’m confused. And I know that probably most of it was just for the fan service, but… I guess I like to have everything to make sense. I would love to hear you opinion on that!

Hi Nonee, thankyou so much ;-; 🧡🫶!! What a sweet thing to say! Hm' I don't think that's the right approach to the topic.. at all. In fact, I think that's very wrong tbh..

..we're talking about a neglected child here. Naruto created the Jutsu because he knows men think a certain way and thinks they're idiots for it. In the beginning he calls the villagers morons and he's quite full of himself (saving face) despite failing in class. Naruto is painfully aware of his own flaws though and so.. has an alternative for shits and giggles because he knows the reaction it'll draw out of men and laughs in their faces.

He gets scolded for it but remember, negative attention is still attention to a deprived and neglected mind of a child.

And yes, attention towards his existence, but it has nothing to do with sexual attention from Naruto's perspective. (wth.) For Naruto that's not why he's doing it and I think it's really weird to (whomever did to) suggest that. Big difference there because for Naruto it is a way to cause trouble as he knows he's already hated (at this point didn't know why) and it is a way to pay them back because they're (as grown men and 'elite Shinobi') humiliated for their severe reactions towards his Jutsu regardless of how negatively they think about him.

Let's see some examples.

Naruto got manipulated into stealing a super forbidden and dangerous scroll and somehow was easily able to do so by using this Jutsu on the Hokage and walked away with it without a problem for hours thanks to it... Apparently it was more effective than whatever Mizuki had in store because he needed a kid to get to the scroll. Obviously Naruto at this point is just toying with all these people and it makes sense that despite him glorifying the name 'Hokage' he doesn't think very highly of Hiruzen or men who fall for it. That's not to say he doesn't respect them in other regards, because he loved Iruka and Jiraiya. But still. "The nose-bleeder":

Ebisu earned his closet-pervert-name for a reason and Naruto wasn't happy with getting training from him instead of Kakashi.

He called Naruto trash at first, thought so lowly of him and told Konohamaru that if he decided to hang out with him longer he'd become stupid (like Naruto).

Naruto used his KBnJ and Ebisu got cocky about it... until..

Because Naruto knows it works. As in "who's stupid now? You fall and get defeated by my Jutsu despite me being all these things you say I am. You loser/pervert."

So later, Naruto even said that Ebisu was 'weaker than him' because he fell for the Jutsu and I think that says a lot about Naruto's perspective on the matter. Especially because he says it so.. passionately and he reeeaallyyy didn't want any training from him.

When he meets Jiraiya for the first time he severely disliked the man. Naruto screams and scolds him for the nasty book, peeping at the women in the bath, being a pervert and committing a crime, he calls Jiraiya a liar and flips him the bird..

It's genuinely wild. Naruto is wild I'll tell ya.

But then it gets more interesting.. because for some weird reason Kishimoto thinks he should let Jiraiya say during their argument that "he doesn't like men!!!".

Which is strange imo because Naruto is a child and not a man and it has nothing to do with his request for training. So what would that do to Naruto?? He's basically saying: "I won't train you because I don't like you the way you are, thus you have to transform into the thing I do like for me to change my mind because that's the only thing stopping me from training you." And what information has Naruto at this point? He knows shallow minded men fall for his Sexy no Jutsu easily, he knows and scolded Jiraiya just a minute ago for his book, peeping and being a pervert.. Naruto is actually so much smarter than people give him credit for (throughout the entire story actually)- put two and two together and he's forced to:

.. exactly.

Naruto even tried to compliment the "nasty book" first even though he obviously didn't mean it before resorting to this Jutsu knowing and even having said before that such behavior is distasteful doing so to humiliate and manipulate Jiraiya to get what he wants (because again, he thinks they're all idiots for this specific reason only). Naruto is very aware about the situation. He doesn't do it for attention, he does it to get trained and Jiraiya quite literally said "I don't like you, you're a rude brat, why would I train you anyway? I don't like men." So what's the alternative? Become a woman (in this case desirable to Jiraiya) and manipulate this fool into getting to train him.

Naruto is extremely uncomfortable and the second Jiraiya suggests he stays that way throughout the training he undoes the Jutsu immediately and gets angry. He throws more insults towards Jiraiya like "pervert" "nasty Sannin" and calls him "totally crazy". He doesn't enjoy to get perved on, he enjoys humiliating them for being fooled so easily because their first impressions of them weren't great to say the least. Iruka always scolded him, Ebisu called him literally trash and Jiraiya was literally the worst at first. Notice how he didn't try using it during the Bell Test on Kakashi for example. He wasn't nice but it wasn't personal towards Naruto.

[yukirayu]

It hit me just now... but the whole way every major member of the Takasato-gumi (plus all the extras) is framed here is very resemblant of a hawk or an eagle in flight or about to take flight.

There's a reason for this. Someone pointed out to me before that the name "Takasato" translates to "village of the hawks", with the "taka" in the name being the Japanese word for "hawk". It's even why their emblem has the image of a talon wreathed with feathers.

Hawks are birds of prey. While they're not needlessly aggressive, they have very sharp senses and can observe their target from a far distance. And when they attack, they hit hard.

Much like how the Takasato-gumi has a tight grip on Shinkoumi and all the people in it.

Naturally, Ryuujirou serves as the eagle's head and main body, given that he's the leader and all. Toono and Sakaki make up his left arm/hand (or "wing"), whereas Kaga and Madarame make up his right arm/hand.

...I think their position is deliberate, and with meaning.

It made me think about the video game Dragon Age, where two characters serve a unique role to the game's equivalent of the Pope (aka a "Divine"). One is the "Right Hand" while the other is the "Left Hand" of the Divine.  And the title's not for show, of course.

To quote the game's wiki, "If the Right Hand of the Divine is her blade in hand, then the Divine’s Left Hand is the one concealed in her sleeve."

Thus, the Right Hand serves as more of the enforcer or the advisor, while the Left Hand does the dirty work from the shadows.

And in cases where the Divine is too decrepit or senile to perform duties properly, they become an authority in-name only, with the Right Hand then becoming the actual power of the church, or what's known in-game as the "Chantry".

But even with their differing roles, the Left and Right Hands still work hand-in-hand to serve and assist the Divine.

In the game, both characters have contrasting approaches on how to do things, but they know and respect the other's duties, and they trust each other.

And anyone who has played Slow Damage knows that the same can't be said for the members of the Takasato-gumi. Maya's death may have started the internal conflict in the group, but there was also disagreement in how to run the organization, which just worsened the cracks.

With their equivalent of the right hand and the left hand not being in harmony, one soon resorted to severing the other. Even then, the left hand is still warring with itself, with all fingers not knowing where to point next - an allusion to Sakaki and Toono's rivalry.

To start with the "Right Hand", it's already a given that Madarame is what one would call the time bomb of an attack dog for the Takasato-gumi. He's by no means a diplomat, but no one's denying his unparalleled strength, which still makes him highly valuable.

The narration also said that Kaga joined the Takasato-gumi as a foot soldier. Though he wasn't really a full-fledged member, having left then rejoined because the other members asked him to come back. Even then, he wasn't fully affiliated with the organization.

Even then, he was popular because he was frank but reasonable, and was more about fairness and order than greed and oppression. Of course, this has Sakaki and Toono agreeing that Kaga - who's most likely to succeed his father as leader - has to be killed off.

As for the "Left Hand", Sakaki and Toono also serve as the face of the organization, given their high level of authority. They are also in charge of doing most the organization's dirty work, from debt collecting, to gambling... and at one point, child trafficking.

Not that the former two are a secret in Shinkoumi though. It's not even an *open* secret. It's long become the norm. Shinkoumi has its own power unlike in the mainland, as it is deemed a special administrative region, so it acts independently.

And while it's not as if rumours about child prostitution rings aren't being spread alone, let alone the possibility that such establishments do exist, the very existence of Euphoria is smething that only few know. Even fewer know what that place really is.

And with that...

As previously stated, the left hand... or wing (Sakaki & Toono) resorted to cutting off the right one, deeming it a liability.

But some feathers from the right wing remain intact (Madarame), and he'll see to it that the other suffers a similar fate.

But either an outside force ends up clipping off part of the left wing, making it more stable but also restricted - which is more prominent in Taku's route, but not as much in Rei's.

Maybe the right wing does manage to get even, which is the case in Madarame's route.

Or it could be a combination of both, like in Fujieda's route. Madarame creates a disturbance, like always, and in the commotion, the left wing of the hawk turns against itself, with Sakaki killing Toono off-screen.

In the end though, a crippled wing is a crippled wing.

This time though, the left wing isn't just crippled, it's also mangled beyond repair (a.k.a. Sakaki throwing pragmatism out the window and letting his madness take control of his actions).

As such, it can never take flight again. It will only fall to its doom.

Whether the player gets the bad or the good end, Sakaki's plans fail (or don't turn out as expected), he'll always die, and the Takasato-gumi is all but set for dissolution.

My point with this? A lot of scenes with the Takasato-gumi can use an analogy involving a hawk.

I must say, damn if Slow Damage isn't rife with symbolism and I love it!

I think all the other Nitro+CHiRAL games are well-written and layered and full of depth, but the symbolism in Slow Damage goes HARD. There's always layers of meaning, more than you can imagine.

[setagaya-division]

Elliot's Thoughts on Shinagawa Division

Ritsuko Okada

"...There's no other way for me to express myself, so I'll just say it plainly... this w-w-woman..." Elliot says, looking at a photo of the Chuohku scientist. "...she scares me... It's like... looking at her eyes, you can automatically tell that she is cold and unfeeling inside. She has no compassion, no sympathy, no love for anything... except maybe the results of her experiments. A-a-and I wouldn't even call that love... I'd c-c-call it... obsession.

"Mina and Yorii think that... she may be the reason we all are like the way we are. If so then..." Elliot looks serious. "...we have to make her tell us why."

Miho Kobayashi

"I... I actually have deep respect for Kobayashi-san. I know she doesn't technically own it, but her company, E.L. Medical Co., is actually one of the leading companies to help fight against foreign pathogens and viruses, not only in humans, but also in animals. The veterinary that I work for, Dōbutsu no Sewa, is actually a subsidiary of E.L. Medical Co., meaning that we answer directly to them. She's never stepped foot in our clinic, though. No surprise. She's a C.E.O., and I'm sure she has much better things to do than visit some out-of-the-way veterinary clinic. Still, I hope that someday my work reaches her, so I can show that I'm doing all I can to not embarrass her or her company's name."

Sumire Shinomiya

"I've heard of this girl, but I've never met her. And sorry to say, but... I'm perfectly fine with that. I've heard from Yorii-kun that she's involved in some rather dangerous, illegal, and highly unorthodox activities. And that's something I'd rather not have any knowledge of. ...It's kind of a shame, really. She seems like such a smart, educated girl. Her passing high school at such a young age is proof of that. Instead, she uses her intellect to commit terrorism and such. What's more, I hear she is a pupil of... that Chuohku scientist who leads this team. I g-guess I shouldn't be surprised. Like a famous man once said, 'Birds of a feather flock together.'"

CodeX

"Other than Kobayashi-san, this team sets me ill at ease, to say the least. I don't trust Chuohku or anyone who works for them. And Shinomiya-chan doesn't exactly strike me as the most ethical person either. I wouldn't be surprised if... the both of them conducted heinous experiments on animals, and then discarded them when they were done. It... it almost makes me cry when I think about that."

"...It's funny. It is weird to say I'm s-s-scared of facing this team, yet... a part of me is trembling with excitement at fighting them?"

[dashawfrostart]

This Week In "Time & Again" #2: Gettin' Technical Here! 😁

Now, since all the vector prep is done, it's finally time for me to start actually drawing every single frame for Chapter 5!.. Just like that! 👇😁

Oddly, as I started drawing the frames for Chapter 5, I feel extra hyper but also very relaxed and blissful at the same time. Maybe it's nostalgia, for as far as I remember, in winter days I liked to enjoy drawing at home, in the warmth, watching the snow outside. Seems like the work on the artworks is going exceptionally well - much better than when I worked on Chapter 4. I'm excited to go forward with my crazy undertaking; but on the side, I have a lot of non-"Time & Again" ideas, and I revisit my old writings, hoping to find extra spark for the other universes and timelines I have in mind, and all of that powers me up. I feel very active and positive. Aaaah, dis is the season, innit?.. Here, on this side of the globe, winter is halfway on. In the end of the last week it snowed in neatly and almost evenly, and the birds on our balcony look all fluffed up and fidgety, waddling from one little foot to another to keep themselves warm while trying to unbury the birdy omnomnommies from under the not-so-giant-yet heaps of snow. The snow has melted a bit by now; I watch them through the balcony window, sipping on my Earl Grey tea every morning and throughout the day, and it makes me feel at peace, and yet a little sad at the same time. For if I had knitting skills, I would've supplied all those cute little sparrows and the peanut-hungry blue jay family with some nice sets of hand-made sweaters, hats, scarves, and socks. But alas, I can only do that in the form of artworks for now. But I digress. Back to my graphic novel now.

For those who don't know how I usually work on "Time & Again" - and I presume, that's what I'll keep doing for the rest of my comic-type projects, that is, if there's ever gonna be any more - I do everything consecutively, starting from the lineart (including the backgrounds, especially if the frame requires very specific placement of the character on the background, or they interact with it in any way), then I do the flat colouring, and then I go for the shading. And by that, I mean that I do all the lineart for all the pages first, then, once that is done, I switch to colouring of all the pages, and then, once that is done as well, I finally get to do the shading on all the pages. Told you, there's definitely a certain system in the way I work on my stories. This is also a reason why I never ever post updates page by page: because there's simply nothing to post, since they're all incomplete. Deal with it 😎 It seems that this manner of work suits me best. I'm not certain why, but I've never been keen on sharing the works that are half-done or something - although lately I'm going through a certain metamorphosis in this respect. Moreover, it is important to me to keep the same steady, precise, and classy art style throughout the chapter. Consistency is what I highly value in my creations. People, who also draw, have probably noticed that, at times, their art style might wiggle and be, let's say, all over the place - and sometimes this just happens on its own. I can't really explain this. This must be some sort of hidden mysterious consciousness of our pen/pencil that simply does things on its own 🤪. Sometimes our mood contributes to how the art style changes in tiny little details - at times to better, at times to worse comparing to what we strive to achieve. Through executing everything consecutively and finishing up the "chunks" of different types of work one after another, my goal is to avoid unnecessary and unwanted art style inconsistencies that might occur otherwise.

But enough of this lengthy preamble! Let's finally get technical, just as the post title announced it! I see you're getting bored... (no, wait, what do you mean it's just my neighbours snoring?.. I don't know what you're talking about)

This time, since I decided on making a regular page-by-page PDF version of the chapter as well as its scrollable webcomic doppelgänger, I needed to figure out how exactly to simplify my work in order to avoid accidental complications (here, almost a quote from a character's line from the current chapter, lol!). Of course there's no way I want to do the same amount of work twice just because I didn't anticipate the outcome correctly. Not to brag about it, but I must admit, as far as I remember myself - I've always been good at this. There's always a place for being extra technical when it comes down to the artworks. It's not as simple as it might seem to you. Deciding on the technical aspects of creating artworks is kind of a puzzle, in a sense. It's almost mathematical 😁

So, as you can see on the screenshot just a little above, that's a layout of a comic page (in the regular format for now). To make everything work out in a simple way in the end, I decided to create layer groups for every each separate frame (red markings) that will include everything I need for the frame: the lineart, the colouring, and the background. That will help me to just copy-paste a certain frame on the new canvas optimized for the webcomic format - and that is all! All done in a few clicks. Automation 100% 😁 (having Minecraft flashbacks now for some reason...)

All the text-related material (speech bubbles, the text lines themselves, and all the possible written sound effects such as "Swoosh!", etc.; the green markings on the screenshot) is currently included into one group above everything else. I've been importing these layers straight from Inkscape in PNG. But I started to think now that I need to separate those elements in the end, too, for further convenience and simplicity of arrangement on the webcomic format canvas. But that will be work for another day in the future.

In terms of memory usage, I'm not certain yet how it will go for me, for sometimes Krita would randomly crash on me without anything in the error log, and every additional layer adds to the memory usage even if it's near empty - finally, considering fairly large size of the artworks pixelwise, it all adds up pretty quickly. But I'm not exactly running Krita on a potato either (mmm, potaties 🥔🤤), so I think I should be fine.

Previously, perhaps counterintuitively - but again, it worked just fine for me back in the day - I used to create a giant layer with all the lineart for the current page, and then the flat colours for the entire page were stored on a separate "flats" layer, and all the shading for the entirety of the page was stored on its own separate "shading" layer, too. The same went for the backgrounds: depending on the pictures overlapping or not, I would've drawn all the backgrounds on a single layer called "BGs".

This approach would've not worked this time though.

In the lineart work, I'm currently finishing up page 9 already. ALREADY! 🥳🥳🥳 Which indeed sounds pretty awesome, because it just goes ahead steadily. That is, however, keeping in mind that there are frames that I just left out and skipped for now, for they require extra consideration. You see... Chapter 5 is going to have a peculiar scene - something that I've never ever tried drawing before just yet, and it's gonna be pretty long. It's fairly stretched out across a few pages and it's almost represented in a slower-than-real-life pace (surprise, surprise, isn't it what I usually do anyway tho?..). As I work on it, I wonder if it's going to be too boring for the readers. But I think the time will tell, for, once everything is done properly and in colour, it's gonna be much more of an eye-candy than it is now. I sometimes have difficulties approximating the end result in my head. But often it just turns out a little nicer than expected, which is a bonus. Because screw perfectionism; that's in the past for me 🤣 (true story! did NOT enjoy it! got out with minimal losses!)

... Since this post seems to be stretching out in time and space as well, just as the certain scenes I'm working on, I think it might be time to wrap it up for today.

Happy Halloween everybody! And I foresee significantly more sketches and screenshots in the upcoming posts! Take care! See ya sometime next week! 👋

P.S. And, of course, for a nice holiday treat, I made a Halloween artwork, again. And this time it's not that simple (and for a spoiler: this year it's not gonna have Cacodemons as pumpkins, nope): it also serves as the first teaser for Chapter 5 and the second half of "Time & Again"! So don't miss out on it 😉 You won't though, because it will soon appear in my blog!

[normalbrothers]

it is not a stretch, it is very much thematic and serves to prime you to more completely and fully grasp what happens during lizzie and tommy's confrontation. my apologies if i didn't explain myself properly, so i just may try again.

you are right, that peaky blinders uses visual cues and symbolic objects to guide the audience's understanding - they also do not exist in a vaccuum and often don't just mean one single thing, and peaky blinders is also highly associative/mimetic/self-referential/allusive and relies on what it already established at another point or multiple other points; you have to take this into account, which is why it's reductive to merely make this about tommy and lizzie's relationship, even - as i acknowledged - it is a part of it and impacted by it.

i'm not going to argue about the specifics of tommy and lizzie's relationship, there are things that i can tendentially agree with you and others i do not, but there's also the fact that there will be a conclusion to the show in form of a movie and there's no reason to believe that tommy and lizzie's relationship won't be one of the major factors in it: the finale of the show is not the endpoint of their dynamic, and as long as both are alive, there is going to be a potential for them to reconcile in one way or another: to me, at least, they did not part in utter anger and resentment, but in sadness and grief and there's still enough care and love there (and yes, love it is, even if it's not the impassioned romantic kind) that allows for the possiblity of real and complete understanding and growth between them and for them to find a way back to each other. this is also what i mean by saying that ruby is not the entire basis of their relationship - for their marriage, yes - but they have a long history with each other prior to this, she has been an important member of both the family and the business (and these are inextricably linked) long before she fell pregnant and became a shelby by name, and tommy indeed likes and values her! he makes her head of an important project in s4, in s5 she becomes his successor in all respects in case of his death, and by the time of s6 she is the director of the company; he trusts her with his life's work - this is also why she chooses to stay, even as her marriage isn't the happiest. lizzie's freedom to leave (as was her choice to stay in s5, and that was a choice and one she made with a clear mind for above mentioned reasons (linda comparatively did not have this choice, she believed the only way she could be free was to kill arthur)) where tommy has to stay (even as he moves out of the toy cage, he is still caged on a figurative level, and as someone else pointed out, him being visually caged by the collapsing doorframe of his burning vardo as the very last shot of the show sets up a lot of things that might come in the future) could be the dynamic that will equalize them after all, something that perhaps wouldn't have been possible if they had merely stayed married. I agree with you that they didn't start out as equals, and that they did not end up fully equalized by the end of it, but there has been progress in their relationship, that is the opposite of stagnancy, where this is what it might lead to.

the three dead birds: what makes it specific about the woman and linda, and what excludes lizzie, is that we are not talking about troubled marriages, but abusive ones. lizzie and tommy may not see each other eye-to-eye all the time and say things to each other that are awful, but lizzie is not afraid of tommy, unlike linda who fears arthur: and for good reason! he grabs her by the throat on two occasions (strangled like the birds), that we are shown, and sexually assaults her by kissing her despite her visible fear and disgust while trying to force her into bed with him (it is implied that isn't the first time either) and finally mutilates the man linda found comfort with out of sheer possessiveness and jealousy (that makes him not just a bad husband, but a dangerous one).

the interesting thing about this, and how it arguably relates to diana mitford (and all the way back to the original point: what is the pretext of lizzie and tommy's confrontation in s6) is that linda returns in the very episode tommy is coerced into sex with her. linda tells tommy that she will help arthur, but that no deal and no negotiation can make her sleep with him - it is commentary on tommy's own inability to say no to mitford or at least negotiate with her for some kind of advantage.

tagentially related, i don't agree that the swan symbolism is exclusively about grace, though she relates in significant ways - throughout that scene it could just serve as much as foreshadowing for the way linda 'dies' alongside the swan (it's literally intercut) after she is shot by polly in the very same episode (the subverted "romantic" climax of arthur and linda reuniting as swan lake is "apparently about love") - setting aside that tommy sees his own doppelgänger during the ep and what that might suggest about swan lake and how the ballet employs the doubling of the white and the black swan (given peaky blinders somewhat freudian approach here, there is a lot more going on there than it merely being about grace being framed as tommy's one true love, it's not unimportant, but not exclusive either; grace's own ghostly presence in the season signifies a multitude of things as well)

what i do not agree with is that the three dead birds foreshadow the death of polly, aberama and barney - from the logical point of view that nobody knew helen mccrory would tragically pass away before filming and that polly would have to be cut from the show.

mosley's line about singing like songbirds: yes, it directly relates to tommy being coerced into sex with mitford: that's the entire point! but it's not about choosing to sleep with her, but being forced in order to prove "with his body" that he's loyal to mitford and mosley and the fascist cause. mosley and mitford can relieve themselves in whatever body they choose (that being tommy and lizzie, here), that's their entire worldview based on entitlement and perceived superiority. this is what it's about, this is why he says that to tommy! this is why mosley and mitford humiliate tommy and lizzie during the dinner the way they do, this is what lizzie cannot bear, even as she tried to bear other things because she found value in the attempt. it is what crosses the line for her.

billy grade: yes, billy grade is a traitor, he's a traitor to the peaky blinders the same way tommy is a traitor to the fascists. his character is a deliberate mirror to tommy - as tommy is forced to prove his loyality to the fascists "physically" and "with his body", billy is forced to do the same as arthur makes him kill the referee to prove his loyality to the blinders (there's a lot of charged language and body language involved there as well), and it happens in the very same episode! (related: before this happens, arthur recites john 8: the part in the bible where the adulteress is sentenced to death by stoning and jesus defends her with the infamous "let him without sin cast the first stone" - i hope i don't need to spell out how this belongs here)

at the point lizzie says this, about tommy being cursed, she has been long past the state of having any illusions about him. and it is not a revelation about tommy (to her, from her or in general), given that he already called himself cursed prior to this.

i disagree that this relates to finn, however, the trajectory of finn's arc has a lot to do with how he's been failed by the family, what it might reveal is noxious and destructive nature of the family dynamic, he's merely a product of it, and pays for that.

it is literally mitford fucking tommy and the ensuing humiliation of tommy and lizzie at the hands of her and mosley that breaks them apart: this is significant! and all these thematic elements, all these allusions to various other forms and instances of violence, of coercion, of abuse serve as a context to appropriately frame it as the horror that it is. this is why that motif shows up in those scenes, and this is why it remains consistent, not just in s5, but in s6 as well.

barney: i didn't raise this point, and it's not exactly bird cage imagery, it is however an aspect of the greater themes around tommy and liminal spaces (boats, tunnels, doorways and, well, cages) and his mental state

i don't think i will reply furthermore - there's just a significantly different approach between us when it comes to the show. it was a nice conversation while it lasted, but i don't think we are going to end up on common ground here. thanks!

the motif around the caged songbird is not about lizzie and tommy's ultimately doomed/unhappy/futile marriage, you actually have to take into account that it's a reoccuring one and when and how it shows up in the show to make proper sense of it and why it's used in that scene between them in the finale

[wh6res]

one more time | markhyuck

"if i'm going to teach you how to fuck her right, you’re gonna need the best seat in the house, markie!" — lhc 

warnings. dubious content, swearing, bondage, voyeurism, masturbation, exhibitionism, mentions of stalking, fingering, oral (f receiving), degradation, there’s a knife (but no knifeplay), a threesome, implied kidnapping 

disclaimer. i dont condone anything. this isnt a normal relationship. this aint love.

note. prolly going to hell for this but who cares. markhyuck for @nakamotocore​ i wuv ya ie please get better soon! TT and dom hyuck for my napaka kalat na mami @donghyukcore​

against all rational thinking, haechan is getting bored from seeing the pathetic five feet distance between you and mark when he comes home. he tries to understand the other male in the relationship. truly, he does, even if he highly doubts that celibate little mark lee can pleasure you the way he can but everything's practically past that line now. donghyuck just wants to have some fun with you two, is that too much to ask for? at this point, he's blatantly ignoring the fact that you and mark don't even like each other.

but haechan cares for mark just as much as he cares about you and he won't just let his best friend miss out on all the fun things he can do to their little doll, right? what kind of a friend would he be? once haechan shoves him into a world of temptation and sin and pleasure, mark would kiss his self-induced celibacy goodbye.

plus, you've been awfully naughty these days.

talks about wanting to come home or getting at least a few rights to have gadgets were the only thing you said whenever you see him. it went as far as practically growling and running away from haechan when he tries to initiate something with you, screeching your lungs out and saying, "don't fucking touch me, you creepy little psycho!"

deflowering mark.

punishing you.

he'd be killing two birds with one stone.

he's fucked your stubborn little self into submission once, but all that overprivileged tv sessions might've put silly little ideas into your dumb little head again. alas, no worries, he'll just have to do it one more time. and maybe, now with the aid of his good 'ol buddy mark, they'll both be able to screw you up so good you'll never want to leave their clutches.

"gumdrop, can you come here for a second?"

haechan isn't deaf to the exaggerated groan you let out from the living room and it grates on his nerves how utterly brave you are for being passive aggressive. you reminded him of a little girl in a temper tantrum because they weren't given any candy - and when you show up in the master bedroom clad in your little pink dress, eyes upturned and sharp, a pathetic little girl was all he can think of when he saw you.

only now did he notice that you had even detangled your hair from the intricate braids haechan spent at least twenty minutes doing earlier this morning. where was mark all this time? why wasn’t he there to stop you? geez, you both are so going to get it, this time!

"what do you want?"

"can you give me a hug? i felt awfully stressed at work today. i need my little gumdrop."

this was obviously a test. don't get him wrong, he'll still punish you but if just this one time you learned to swallow that bitchy attitude and come crawling to him as the perfect lover should, maybe he won't be too harsh.

but he gave you too much credit, he thinks. of course his dumb cockwhore doesn't know shit. of fucking course, you wouldn't know it was a test. not when you scoffed, rolled your eyes at him, and spun in your heels to walk back to the living room.

"beat your meat with your own hands, creep."

haechan's reaction is immediate, his long legs allowing no delay in crossing the room to mercilessly fist your hair. he had pulled your hair so bad you thought it was going to rip right at the roots, all of his pent up anger due to your poor behavior channeling into that one grip.

you feel his scoff of disbelief against the curve of your neck as haechan pulls you flush against his body. "what the fuck did you just say to me?" he laughs patronizingly. "beat my meat with my own hands – aw, baby! that has got to be the best one yet!"

it truly was, though. he's not going to lie. out of every vicious snarl and hate-induced words you said to him, that particular offhand comment takes the cake. seriously, sometimes haechan thinks you're deliberately trying to make him furious – gumdrop, if you wanted to be fucked silly, all you had to do was ask.

he hurls you to the mattress, breath knocking right out of your lungs. before you can even sit back up and crawl away from haechan, he's already crawling over your body to sit directly on your stomach, fiddling with something on the headboard. you nearly scream in frustration, no matter what you do, you just can't throw him off of you!

"i don't know why the fuck you're behaving this way but it's gone too far. one more time. do i need to fuck some respect into you, one more time?”

a new wave of motivation surges through you when you hear the familiar click clacking of metal. your eyes widened just a fraction, the only thing that gave away the unease quickly seeping under your skin. if not for haechan's perceptive eyes, he would have missed it.

he merely used one hand to grip both your wrists in a vice. "no!" you squirmed, tossing and turning and trying with all your might to get him off of you. "no! i don't want that – not the cuffs!"

he loops the respective bands around your wrists with practiced ease. the last handcuffs he used had torn and marked your skin, something haechan wasn't fond of. only he can paint your bare skin with colors.

thus, he bought newer ones. the bands were a bright shade of red, connected to each other using a medium sized chain that loops around one of the steel wires of the bed, and the little bells attached to the bands ring with your every movement.

haechan knows the bells drove you crazy. its incessant ringing driving you up the wall as you couldn't keep your hands still whenever he fucked you to oblivion – he knew how much you loathed the sound of the bells, all the more reason for him to enjoy.

and mark, too. speaking of which…

you stubbornly pull at your bounded hands, glaring at the man before you as he studies your state. the corners of his lips curl up at the sight of you struggling. "you always look so good in red, gumdrop."

before you were given a chance to reply, he stormed out of the room with a sense of purpose bounding his steps. "lee donghyuck!" you screamed. "fucking come back and get me out of these, you pervert!"

he can hear you thrashing in your chains and yelling profanities from a room away. where was the demure girl he turned you into after only a week living in the apartment? though funny enough, the blood in haechan's sadistic side rushes in excitement at the prospect of wiping that glare off your face. it wasn't the fear, nor your submission that gets him off. it was the idea that he can and he will break you down no matter how many times you try to build yourself back up again.

he's not too sure whether he's going to eliminate that dirty mouth you've developed, though. because you did make him snort in the most unattractive way when you told him he can fucking jack himself off when he had been merely asking for a hug. this aggressive side you developed is… nice. he can work with it.

"can you ask your play thing to keep it down?" mark hisses, flinching and making an offkey sound with his guitar when a certain screech from you caught him off-guard.

haechan smiles.

"why don't you shut her up?"

it took a good few minutes trying to talk mark into stepping into the bedroom where he's got you chained to the headboard, but alas, haechan can be persuasive if he wants to be.

frankly, the younger man is sick and tired of hearing both of you bicker – it's no wonder you've developed a sharp tongue! it's all mark's fault and yet it's haechan that has to do the dirty work of setting you straight all over again. you're a tough cookie to crack, someone hauntingly immune to the violence and chaos.

and yet…

"you don't – don't seriously plan on doing this, do you?" your eyes go back and forth between the two males, primarily addressing the younger, devil-spawned male. haechan, ever observant, picks up the light tremor in your voice.

haechan had uttered a playful "if i'm going to teach you how to fuck her right, you're gonna need the best seat in the house, markie!" before forcing the older boy to sit by your side, mark's thighs grazing the temples of your head as your eyes awkwardly flutter up to the spectator.

mark couldn't deny he was intrigued by the emotion reflecting in your orbs. when your eyes met, it was a silent plea, he just knew it was. and unlike vulnerable and helpless you, mark, to some extent, still had at least some sense of freedom to him. he can choose to walk away, to stop haechan from trying to get him laid, maybe even talk the other boy into postponing your punishment.

but he'll do no such thing.

not because he has a moral compass (he doesn't, really) but because mark knew firsthand, there's no stopping haechan once he sets his mind into something – and right now, if that boy wants to punish you and use mark to fulfil his exhibitionistic fantasies then that's what'll happen.

your bottoms were the first to go, haechan's blunt nails digging into your skin as he pulled it down slowly, patronizingly, while watching bemused at your squirming. "this is how you know she needs a reminder," he says, addressing mark. "a good princess should take whatever's given to her like a good girl but if she's being an ungrateful brat –"

you flinch when he harshly smacks your thigh.

"– she gets what’s coming for her, right?"

there's a second's delay with mark's reply. haechan didn't mean for the question to be rhetorical, he wanted an answer from the other boy.

"right, mark?"

"r – right…"

haechan laughs, flipping the skirt of your dress up. "what, are you that excited for pussy that you're stuttering? that's cute."

you hear mark intake a sharp breath when haechan dives in to give you feathery kisses in your inner thigh. he always starts off this way, after figuring out this gets you wet way faster than simply kissing you.

as haechan starts talking, lips lazily grazing over your skin, you fight hard not to utter a single sound as you pull on your chains. "listen carefully, markie. do you hear those whimpers? she likes it," you feel the prickles of his sharp stare. "she's just too much of a fucking brat to admit it. go on gumdrop, your fighting spirit makes this all the more interesting."

you hate the patronizing tone he used as his hands trail higher, and higher until it's pinching at the bud of your clit. and against your whole being trying to keep your lips sealed, alas, it parts and creates a soft whimper that has mark stiffening next to you.

haechan lays his tongue flat against your folds. you weren't in the least bit wet yet to accommodate his size, but that's easy. he merely circles the bud with the tip of his tongue before pushing two fingers in. months of standing in the shadows outside your window had made him memorize the movement of your fingers whenever you pleasured yourself.

he felt the jolts of the bed as you shook your head side to side, trying with everything you can to hold your moans in. a corner of his lips can’t help but curl up. "what, gumdrop? too shy to lose yourself because we have an audience? don't worry our celibate little friend over here seems to like it. go on, give him a show."

too lost in the ministrations of his lips and fingers, you don't see haechan meeting eyes with mark, nodding at an object lying on the bed side table. you can only shudder when the cool tip of a knife presses against the base of your throat, hooking under the collar of your dress as mark slowly rips it off.

but haechan doesn't have the patience. "dude, give that to me. at your phase you'll get her naked tomorrow. let the tip cut her skin, the bitch deserves it anyway."

you scream when he drags it unceremoniously down your front, narrowly missed tearing at your navel. there are a few pricks of pain here and there for when the knife accidentally nicked your skin. he sure was ruthless as can be. why did you even bother acting like a brat, cursed him out, when it gave you no benefits whatsoever? did he unknowingly transform you into this sick little masochist that thrived on his sadism?

"no."

it was a defeated whisper. the last of your resolve turning into dust as the breath escapes your lungs. why did losing feel so heavy in your chest? you don't notice your arms slumping, nor your head nodding off to one side, the weight of your horrible reality sinking into you once again as if you had only been kidnapped yesterday.

but it had not been yesterday. it's been days. weeks. months. and the last time you sneakily got ahold of mark's phone and searched for your name, the last news clip or article published about your disappearance had been three months ago. that only meant one thing.

they weren't looking for you anymore.

just like that the world continued, other people's lives continued. all the while you're stuck here, rotting in the arms of your captors.

haechan's face emerged in front of you. he smiles and you would've believed he felt an ounce of guilt if not for that wicked stare in his eyes. "you've always been most beautiful like this, gumdrop. the hope disappearing in your eyes upon the realization that no one's coming for you anymore – i love it. i love you, my pretty girl."

he placed a chaste kiss on your forehead but he might as well have shot you straight in the heart.

there was no warning, nothing to ready you for the sudden intrusion happening on your bottom half and it was so bad, that it made you shut your eyes, hands wrapping around the chains as tears started falling across your cheeks.

rough fingers reached out and wiped them away.

something felt off.

the fingers were too calloused, opposed to the softness of haechan's nimble fingers. and while the aforementioned male had more length than girth, the person who's thrusting himself inside you is the complete opposite. he's stretching you out too much, not even bothering to give you time to adjust when he's already bucking his hips like an animal.

"shh, it's okay. i'll take care of you…"

this wasn't haechan.

and when you fluttered your eyes open to see mark's boyish little face, you can't help that look of betrayal painting your features. at least you only had to deal with one obsessive, sex-deprived freak. now, you're not so sure if you can handle both of them.

how foolish of you to think that mark's self-induced celibacy stretched far and wide when in reality, he was also just a boy with his own needs. a slave to his own temptations.

how cruel. so, so cruel.

in the back of your mind, you were thankful haechan cared enough to properly get you in the mood or else you would've been staining the bed sheets red by how deep and frantic mark’s thrusts were. it felt like he wanted to tear you in half.

"if i didn't know better i'd say you're experienced, markie! i wouldn't fucking know you're a virgin by how much you're humping her like a dog.”

curse him and his dirty mouth. his constant degradation is making it easier for mark to slide in and out of you, and a proof for that is the lewd slick sounds echoing in the room partnered with the older male's deep grunts – a complete opposite of the pitched, whiny sounds haechan makes.

'gumdrop, come on! be noisy with our first-timer here just how you're always noisy with me, yeah? don't be such a killjoy." the pout in his voice is evident, coming from the side of your ear.

you wish you had never turned your head, otherwise you wouldn't have to see him pumping his own dick in his hands right in front of you. the glare you shot probably looked pathetic, what with all the tears streaming down your face and your little theory proves true when you see his mouth quirk up to the side.

"i fucking hate you."

"mark, fuck her harder, wouldja? until she learns her fucking lesson."

the disturbed stare you gave him does not slip his notice, his hand's pace turning erratic, spurred by the slick sound of your walls, skin clapping, and mark's broken whines.

make him stop, your eyes said. please.

but haechan only shoots you an innocent smile before shaking his head. "didn't you tell me to beat my meat with my own hands?"

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@hoeartchoke @donghyukcore @stopknot @greenish-taro @stayvision @zhongriot @lmaoskz @zephyr-abyss @anonymous-stuff @josuke8 @jaemotel @gothboyjisung​

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jenoluck (c) all rights reserved

[levi-my-beloved]

Birds of a Feather

Chapter 3

Pairings: Canon!Levi x F!Reader

Content warnings: Violence, implied torture, two pining idiots being two pining idiots, probably ooc Levi cuz oof i suck

Word count: 8.2K

Summary: You were the most notorious criminal in the Underground City. With your organisation of highly skilled professionals, only one man could take you down. He also happened to be Humanity’s Strongest… and your ex.

Previous Chapter

First Chapter

A/N: y’all these chapters are getting real long now… and they only get longer as i keep writing. just wanted to a say a quick and huge thank you for the amazing support i’ve had so far. i honestly didn’t think anyone would read this little story and it’s so heartwarming to see people enjoying it

i love every one of y’all so much 🥺

𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔𖣔

If your hands were free, you would have shielded your eyes as the blinding sun greeted you. You weren’t quite expecting it to be so bright. You knew the overhead world was nowhere near as dark as it was in the Underground City, you’d seen the rays of light spilling down from the toll gate but never in your life had you expected life to seem so..,

Vibrant.

Blinking a few times, you almost had to force yourself to remember your circumstances, gently pulling against your chains. The look of awe on your face was unmistakable.

“Holy shit…” you breathed, eyes now wide as you took in your surroundings. It was warm up here. Really warm. The sun gently beating down on the busy streets. Levi appeared next to you, pushing you forward to continue up the stairs.

“Don’t get used to it, you’ll be in a cell before long,” you were expecting to catch some satisfaction in his tone, but there was nothing other than contempt. You took a breath, managing to resist attempting to kick his shin as you kept climbing the stairs, now fully embraced in the sun’s light. Though it didn’t last as long as you would have liked. Sooner than you deemed necessary, if you were honest, a carriage clattered up in front of you. It was surprisingly lavish considering you were a criminal. Squinting in suspicion, your hesitation only earned a rough push against the back of your head.

“Get in.”

“You never were one for manners were you?” you drawled after stumbling clumsily into the carriage. The plush leather seats squeaking against your own getup, leather on leather disagreeing with each other.

“Not when it comes to people like you, no,” the raven haired man took up a seat opposite you, immediately folding his arms as staring out the small, curtained window. A muscle in your jaw flickered in irritation.

“People like me? You mean people like you? Or have you really forgotten where you came from? Did you lose brain cells as well as your sense of self?” god you just wouldn’t let up, would you? Levi rolled his eyes, successfully masking how much he hated the way you spoke to him. Like nothing ever happened between you. He understood. Of course he did. He knew why you were so upset. Why you were trying so hard to hurt him. He knew you wanted him to hurt the same way you did, but knowing what you were doing wasn’t going to stop the spear you kept repeatedly driving into his heart.

You attempted to shift ever so slightly, just so your hands weren’t painfully crushed against your back. Once again the thought of kicking him crossed your mind, but the situation wasn’t exactly in your favour right now.

It was only a few moments of awkward, deafening silence before you two were joined by both Erwin and Hange, the latter opting to sit next to you, seemingly not worried about whether or not you could still skin her alive even with your wrists bound. Erwin sat a respectable distance from you, despite the size of the carriage. The man barely fit, it was only because of your own size and the size of Levi did you assume you were all able to travel together. That still didn’t stop the man opposite you from throwing you a disgusted look as your knee grazed his. Just to piss him off, you did it again.

“SO! Raven, you’re joining the Scouts?” Hange blurted out, earning her a glare from Levi, a sigh from Erwin and a baffled scoff from you.

“Yeeeaaah… no. That’s not happening.”

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice in the matter,” Erwin chimed in, almost defeatedly.

“Why don’t you just do what you usually do with criminals? Hang me as some sick entertainment for the public.”

“That can be arranged.”

“Levi…” Erwin warned lowly, to which Levi simply clicked his tongue in response.

Shit, that one hurt. He really didn’t care for you anymore, did he?

Once again, if you had your hands free, you would have run them through your hair. Joining the Scouts? That was never really something that ever crossed your mind. It didn’t seem to make sense. Why on earth would they want to draft you in? The question was swiftly pushed from your mind, replaced by another. Something you’d been burning to know ever since you realised the Scouts knew your location.

“Who was it?” you asked quietly, staring at your feet. Levi stiffened, shifting his eyes from the window back to you. Your demeanor struck a chord with him. You looked defeated, shoulders hunched over. “Who betrayed us? I just want to know.”

A heavy silence settled over the trio, none of them wanting to be the one who broke the news. The bond and connection between you and your Nest was strong. Trust ran through your veins, so to have it broken by any one of them was already shattering your very being.

“A woman. Brown hair, blue eyes. Scarlett, I think her name was,” at that moment, everything seemed to stop. Your world froze. It was Scarlett. Your own lover. Your wife. The woman you trusted more than any of them. She had betrayed you. Betrayed all of you. She was the one who put Una’s life in danger. The one who was responsible for the scar across her neck she would carry forever.

The three Scouts looked at each other, each not really knowing how you would react. Not even you knew how you were going to react. You were stuck in limbo. Everything and nothing was going through your mind. You didn’t know how long you’d sat there staring at nothing, simply trying to process this information, but it must have been an uncomfortably long time, if Erwin’s awkward throat clearing was any indication, gently bringing you back from your thought spiral.

“Oh.” was all you could manage, still not able to raise your head. Your eyes started to burn after not blinking for seemingly too long. How could she? How could she betray you? To the Military Police, of all people. You hadn’t cried for a very, very long time, but damn you were close.

Shit this entire ordeal had been difficult, but seeing you so defeated was next level. Levi dug his fingernails into his palm to stop himself from holding you. From comforting you. He still knew you well enough to tell when something was wrong. Very wrong. And although his stomach twisted slightly with the ideas of who this woman was running through his head, it was all he could do to tear his eyes from your hunched shoulders, returning his gaze to the window as the world passed him by.

“Did you know her?”

“Why would I tell you?” you tilt your head, glaring at Hange next to you, your jaw clenched. You may have just felt the last remaining fragment of your heart shatter, but that didn’t mean you would give them any more information than you had to.

“Raven, I give you my word, we will leave The Nest be,” Erwin tried his hand at reassuring you. None of this made any sense. Why were they being nice? Don’t they know how many soldiers you and your people had slaughtered? How much you had stolen from their warehouses?

You raised your eyes, seeing Levi glancing at you cautiously. Silver hues flicking over your defeated form with that same, cemented expression of boredom, before slowly looking back to the window. You spent the rest of the journey in silence, going over all the events that had led to this moment. How you could have possibly let this happen.

You trusted Prongs. You knew he would take care of your family. But Scarlett…

The bony claws of betrayal grasped your throat, gently squeezing until it became difficult to breathe. The walls of the carriage started closing in around you. Helplessness tainting the corners of your mind. You were stranded. Captured and soon to be forced into the military. To face those titans you’d heard so many people talk about.

You’d found the first man to ever hold your heart. You’d lost him, and then you’d found him again. And you could almost feel his hatred for you.

And though you put on a brave face. Though you put on an act to convince him you felt the same…

You couldn’t find it in your fractured heart to return his hatred.

The gentle, rhythmic clopping of hooves came to a slow stop, the door opening outwards to let the four of you out. Hange hopped down the step with seemingly boundless energy, before immediately engaging in conversation with a taller, worried looking man. Erwin stepped down, but once again you refused to move. If you could make their lives as difficult as possible, you would. Pure spite was fueling you now, your only current reason to carry on.

“Oi, move,” it was a blunt command, and one you paid no mind to. Not even raising your head to acknowledge Levi had said anything. “Hey. Did you lose your hearing on the way here? I said move,” a sharp kick to your shin prompted you to tilt your chin just enough to shoot another one of your glares in his direction. He too had to keep up his charade until he could get you alone and finally have a proper conversation.

“Go to hell,” was your only response, heavily debating spitting in his face as his hands once again grasped your arm. You flinched ever so slightly at the contact, something that didn’t go unnoticed, but it appeared Levi didn’t care.

Levi did care. Holy shit did Levi care. What the hell had happened to you to prompt you to flinch in such a way? Who the fuck had laid their hands on you? Who the fuck had hurt you like that? He allowed the rage to course through his veins, before letting it simmer down. He would deal with that later.

You stumbled as you were almost thrown from the carriage, knees colliding with the stone beneath you before you were dragged back to your feet

That fucking hurt. You started to think that maybe you could return his hatred. The next chance you got, you were driving you knee into his fucking gut. But for now, you decided to settle your glare on Erwin as he was talking to a darker haired man who kept glancing in your direction. It’s only now you realised your condition. You were filthy, mud and grime greasing your hair, blood and small cuts littering your face and knuckles, a dark bruise blossoming on the underside of your chin. Levi’s hand still held you firm, preventing you from even attempting to escape. Not that you would. You really couldn’t see the point, other than running into titan territory yourself. You tensed as the tall, haggard looking man approached you, apprehension mixed with disgust clouded his eyes, but it was an expression you refused to flinch away from.

“The Raven?” you couldn’t help raising a brow.

“Stupid fucking question. No, I'm just an innocent bystander dressed like The Raven for a costume party. I just so happened to think a pair of manacles clasped around my wrists completed the look,” you hissed sarcastically, and you could have sworn you heard something that could resemble a laugh from behind you, but it was so miniscule it was difficult to tell. If only this had been ten years ago.

You watched with satisfaction as a muscle twitched in his jaw, before the man managed to compose himself.

“My name is Niles Dok, Commander of the Military Police soldiers you seem to have so much fun slaughtering,” he introduced himself in a way that made it seem like the last thing he wanted to be doing was introducing himself to you right now.

“So? Do you want a written apology or something? Have to take these chains off me first,” you spat, with the innocent smile of an adder. This seemed to rile the man up more, to the point where he fisted your hair painfully, yanking your head up. His voice lowered to a dangerous murmur.

“Listen you little whore, I don’t know which door to hell you crawled out of, but I have men specially trained to deal with rats like you. They take pleasure in every agonised scream they can rip from your filthy mouth,” you refused to let your panicked, racing heart rule your mind, using every ounce of mental strength to hold his stare, firing back with a nasty glare of your own. And it took all of Levi’s willpower not to launch himself at the MP Commander.

“Go fuck yourself,” the retort came so naturally as you actually spat in his face. It gained you a much more satisfying reaction than you imagined you would get from Levi.

Swiftly removing his hand from your hair, you slumped back, staring up at the man between the now dishevelled strands. Wiping your saliva from his eye. You flinched as the back of his hand came up to strike you. Quicker than you would have expected, Levi was immediately by your side, eyes glinting with murderous intent. But before anything could happen, Niles’ hand was caught by Erwin behind him.

“Now, now Niles. Don’t go harming my soldiers,” his voice was borderline condescending as the MP Commander turned to look back to Erwin with an expression of disbelief.

“You can’t be serious? Erwin, this wasn’t part of the deal. You said—”

“I said we would aid you in capturing her. What happens to her after, is up to us. Think of it as collateral,” he reminded Niles of the deal they had struck before their meeting earlier.

“I didn’t think you would force her to join the Scouts. Are you insane?” It was a question Erwin had heard many times before.

“She’s just another calculated risk,” —he explained, before turning to his Captain— “Levi, take her to where she’ll be staying for the next week,” you had absolutely no idea what the hell was going on, but honestly, you were just glad Erwin stepped in when he did. You didn’t fancy whatever strike was about to land on you, and didn’t want to deal with whatever trauma it would drag up from your less than agreeable past. You didn’t have nearly enough time to unpack Levi’s own movements.

“Tch, why me? Why not Four Eyes?” his eyes slid to the scientist, who seemed to be engaged in an increasingly elaborate conversation with that poor, poor soldier. Even you felt a pang of pity for him.

“Because I’m afraid if I let Hange take her, she’ll end up in her lab rather than the cell,” Erwin sighed tiredly, looking at Levi with almost pleading eyes as the conversation behind him got louder and louder.

“Fine. But you owe me,” he responded, before tugging you away with him. You were almost sorry when you no longer felt the warmth of the sun on your back as he led you inside.

It was a walk full of disgusted glares and crude remarks. Clearly everyone had heard who you were by now, if that wasn’t evident by the snarls of “Bitch” and “Underground rat.” It didn’t really phase you. What these people thought about you was their issue, not yours. Though, you wouldn’t mind beating every single one of them within an inch of their lives given half the chance.

You failed to notice Levi’s ever darkening expression behind you. The glares promising a painful death thrown in every direction. The way a muscle flickered in his jaw at every passing comment. It was only until the hallway was empty did he feel that tension ease a little.

“Down here,” Levi instructed, leading you down a narrow staircase. As if you could go anywhere else.

“Yeah, no shit,” you snapped, earning you a harsh shoved down a few stairs.

“Don’t get smart with me.”

“Why? Afraid you won’t understand me?” that feigned sweetness to your tone was one you had perfected over the years he was gone, and was possibly your favourite form of sarcasm. He clearly didn’t dain your retort worthy of a response, the only sound to be heard being the echoing of your boots against the stone. It reeked of damp and rust, a different stench to the filth of the Underground. Speaking of which…

“You’re disgusting,” a flatly delivered insult was thrown your way as Levi guided you into one of the cells.

“I’m so sorry, I forgot to have a shower before you ambushed us. I’ll be sure to remember next time so I can smell like a fresh forest. I’m sure it would be a more homely smell for you,” you couldn’t help the sarcastic remarks that flew from your mouth. But you fell silent as he began removing your manacles. Instantly a plan formulated in your head. This could be your only chance at escaping. You just had to wait for the right moment.

As soon as the chains were removed from your wrists, you thrust your head backwards, in hope of catching his face. But you were met with nothing but air, and the sounds of quick footsteps behind you.

“You’re even easier to predict now you’re in a cell. Don’t try stupid shit like that,” did he forget how to change the emotion in his voice? He was never the most emotional person you’d met, but he would at least sometimes change his voice from ‘bored’ to ‘slightly irritated’. You were starting to wonder what else he had forgotten during his time here when the iron bar door to your cell was slammed shut, the key clicking in the lock. Now you were certain you couldn’t escape, you took in your living space for the next week. The bare minimum had been provided. A bed with no bed clothes, a rustic sink you weren’t even sure worked, and a broken mirror. Great.

The scraping of a chair behind you piqued your curiosity, turning you head to see Levi had taken a seat in front of your cell door, elbows resting on his knees.

“The fuck are you doing?” you asked, rising from your knees to turn and lean against the wall, arms folded.

“Waiting,” god damn his single word responses. You huff in frustration.

“Waiting for what?”

“You.”

“I could strangle you with my bare hands and feel absolutely nothing right now.”

“You’d have to escape first.”

“What makes you think I can’t?”

“What makes you think you can?”

As much as you hated to admit it, he was right. There didn’t seem to be any way you could escape these walls, you’d already done a quick run down. Threading your hands through your hair in irritation, you cross to sit on the pathetic material they thought was a bed.

“So?” you ask, still no closing to knowing what the hell he wanted. Once again, he didn’t deem your question worthy of a vocal response, opting instead to raise a thin eyebrow. You briefly fantasise about driving one of your long lost daggers into his goddamn eye, before simply brushing it off with a roll of your eyes. “Fine. Stay there and stare at me. It’s your time you're wasting,” you shrugged, flopping back onto the bed, arms thrown out either side of you.

“What have you been up to?” you couldn’t help the bark of sour laughter at the question.

“Seriously?”

“What?”

“After all this time, the first thing you ask me is what I’ve been up to?”

“Would you prefer me to ask you something else?”

“What’s on the menu?”

For a moment, it almost felt like no time had passed since you’d last seen each other. It felt like only yesterday did he have you in his arms, curled up in his bed, gently running his hands over your exposed waist, revelling in how soft your skin was against his.

Running a hand through his dark locks to bring himself out of his thoughts, he changed the trajectory of his questioning.

“Who taught you to fight like that?

“Self-taught.”

“Bullshit,” you winced at his response, raising your head slightly to stare at him, wondering who gave him the audacity to doubt you.

“Oh yeah? Not all of us had the advantage of stupidly strong genes, shortstuff,” shit, you hadn’t said that nickname in a long, long time. Clearly he hadn’t heard it for a long time either, judging by the way his eyes widened his body stilled. Neither of you were able to comment on the irony of the name, considering you were just as vertically challenged. Managing to shake yourself from your daze first, you realised that was a lot for both of you. “Sorry,” you murmured, averting your gaze.

“No, it’s… fine,” there was no malice in his voice. No hatred, a surprise that caused you to turn your head back to face him. Levi cleared his throat before continuing. “How’d you get that scar?” the second question caught you off guard, not expecting anything so personal so quickly. Naturally, you responded with something sarcastic.

“Tea party gone wrong,” an irritated sigh echoed off the dank walls, clearly not satisfied with your answer.

“What happened to you, Raven...?” if it wasn’t for the acoustics of the room, you would have missed the comment, but your heart clenched painfully as the third question reached your ears.

“You left, so I moved on,” you didn’t mean to sound so small or vulnerable. You didn’t mean to drag your knees up to your chest and clasp your arms around them. You didn’t mean to turn your head again, avoiding his gaze.

Levi mentally begged you not to look that way. He’d never seen you so insecure. And that itself broke his resolve.

Standing from his chair, Levi crossed the small space to the barred doors, not thinking twice about unlocking it and leaving the key in the lock. His body was almost acting on a it’s own. Years of taking you into his arms and holding you suddenly came back to him and he wanted nothing more than to take you in his arms once again.

But he hesitated.

You both did.

After raising your head to look at him, you watched as he stopped in the centre of your cell. Almost as if he was silently asking for some sort of permission to just do something.

You shifted slightly so you were leaning against the iron bars rather than the stone wall to the back, Levi taking this as the silent permission he needed to take a seat next to you.

Shit, the instinct to throw yourself into his arms was almost overwhelming, but you refrained, not wanting that kernel of hope to smoulder into nothing when he rejected you.

Levi was the first to break the silence.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” you responded, looking up to him between the loose, mangled strands of hair now obscuring your face just a bit. Age had been kind to him. His features, now much more defined. He was still the same man you knew back then, but this one was more chiseled. You looked away when his eyes found yours.

“You look like shit.”

“I feel like shit.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

It wasn’t the exchange you were expecting, this quick back and forth, but you wouldn’t say it was unwelcome. A familiar warmth started to spread in your chest.

“How’s the jaw?” you asked, eyes wandering to the now hefty bruise against his pale, soft skin. You remembered when you used to leave marks of similar colour all over his body. His neck, collarbones, abdomen, thighs…

“‘S’fine. How’s the chin?” his own eyes slid back to you, silver irises scanning your face briefly.

“Yeah. Fine,” you let the silence settle for a moment, before breaking it again. “Sorry I kicked you,” Levi grunted in quiet amusement.

“It was a damn good plan. Sorry I knee’d you,” it was only when he heard your gentle chuckle did he realise just how much he’d missed you. Every fibre in his body was begging him to roughly tug you into his body. To cup your face in his hands and seal your lips with a burning kiss. But all that changed when he shifted slightly and you flinched at the sudden movement. He stilled, waiting for you to relax again before he too settled back down.

“You knew her, didn’t you?” it was a rhetorical question. Your reaction after the reveal told him everything. Not only did you know her, but she was somebody close to you.

You stayed silent for a couple moments, not really knowing how to respond to his shift in conversation. You decided to match it.

“Yeah. I did,” you wouldn’t tell him. Not unless he asked. You wouldn’t tell him who she was to you. What she was to you. That still fucking hurt like hell.

“‘M’sorry.”

“You say that a lot,”

“You’re one to talk,”

You didn’t even try to quell your small laugh, letting it echo off the stone walls. Even Levi couldn’t stop a small chuckle at your amusement, feeling himself completely at ease in your presence.

“Did you really move on?” it was his turn to feel small. His turn to feel a little vulnerable. He couldn’t bear the thought of you just moving on from what the two of you had. Just throwing it all in the past and leaving it there.

“Yes and no.”

“The hell does that mean?”

You sighed, tightening your grip around your knees. You hoped this wouldn’t be as painful for him to hear as it would be for you to say, but you didn’t hold out much hope.

“Yes, I moved on. I’m not the same girl I was. Trust me on that. I’m not the same girl you fell in love with, nor the girl who fell in love with you,” you had to take a breath, suddenly finding the air down here far too thick. “She wouldn’t have survived down there. That girl would have been killed by some pig the moment you left. So... I killed her myself. You already know I’ve been part of The Nest for a while, but I wasn’t really one of them, if you get what I mean. I didn’t stay with them, I didn’t eat with them. Sure, Viper took me in after my—“ you stopped, burying that can of worms before you even opened it. That wasn’t something you wanted to bring up right now. “Viper took me in, taught me a few things, but I stayed with you. I didn’t have to be one of them when I was with you. But when you left… I didn’t exactly have a choice. I couldn’t be so naive anymore. I couldn’t be so hopeful. I had to be realistic, and to be realistic, I had to hurt a lot of people. I had to see a lot of things,” you allowed the weight of your words to settle before you continued. “But that girl. That girl you knew. She never stopped loving you. Up til the moment she drew her last breath and I took over. She loved you. But I moved on,” you fell silent, realising that yes, this had been just as painful for him to hear as it was for you to say.

It was a long while before Levi spoke again, nowhere near as confident as he was.

“That’s who she was to you,” just as he thought seeing you again couldn’t get anymore painful. Just as he thought your words couldn’t get anymore painful. “You loved her?”

“Yes, but not completely. Part of me was still devoted to you. I think that’s why she did what she did. Scarlett was never a spiteful person, but she did hold one hell of a grudge against you. And I suppose, in a way, me,” the silence was so thick you thought you could cut it with one of your blades.

“She’s still there.”

“Hm?”

“That girl. She’s still there. You’re still in there.”

“Now look who’s being naïve,”

“You’re trying to tell me this new, supposedly ruthless killer would kick the shit out of some soldiers for hurting a kid. You’re trying to tell me this new cold hearted thief would bring medicine to an elderly woman and her son?”

“I—”

“You’re telling me this new, heartless little dealer would earn the respect and thanks of thousands of Underground rats? Because to me, that sounds like bullshit… (Y/N),” he wouldn’t accept it. You weren’t gone, he could see it in your actions. You were still there. His (Y/N) was still in there.

Hearing your name in his low, warm tone after all this time sent a jolt through your system. And when he turned to look at you, he could see silver lining your eyes. It took everything in him not to reach up and gently wipe them away.

“I’m not going to stop until you see what I see. I’m not going to let you think you’ve become this heartless, mindless killer just because you had to adapt. Because you had to survive. I’ve finally found you again. Do you know how long I searched for you? How many hours I spent tracing every single path I knew you would take. Asking every filthy mongrel I could find. Most of them said you were dead. Some of them said you were missing and hadn’t been seen in months. Years, even. But until I found a body, or some kind of proof you were dead, I couldn’t accept it,” well this certainly caught you off guard. Levi was never one for long, heartfelt speeches, or verbal communication at all, actually. So this was a little overwhelming. Two tears slipped down your cheeks, sliding through the sudden cracks in your defenses and leaving a trail through the thin layer of grime and dirt.

Levi kept his eyes trained ahead, knowing that if he saw you crying, his restraint would break and he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from holding you. But he knew he couldn’t. From the way you’d reacted to his small movements, he knew suddenly tugging you into him would scare you.

“I’m sorry,” your small voice wrapped around his fragile heart, both settling it and cracking it. He went to extend his hand towards you with the intention of smoothing down your hair, but the way you winced, almost anticipating something much more intense, made him stop. Shit, you really did look like a husk of your former self. He remembered the way your eyes used to glint even in the low lighting of the Underground.

“You should rest,” it was an appealing enough suggestion. Enough to draw a barely concealed yawn from you. Leaning your head against the iron bars behind you, you swore you could have fallen asleep there and then. Comforted by his presence.

You immediately missed his presence as soon as he stood, tempted to reach out for his hand but not wanting to push him away.

As if he felt your confliction, Levi stopped to turn back to you.

“I’ll be back in the morning. Rest, (Y/N),” it wasn’t like you could disobey when your mind and body was so eager to sleep.

“Fuck…” you muttered, running a hand down the side of your face, exhaustion hitting you like a punch to the gut. This wasn’t exactly how you saw your day going today, but you couldn’t exactly say you weren’t thankful. You didn’t know what you were, honestly. So much had happened, you knew you would need time to process everything.

The screech of metal against metal alerted you to the key once again locking you within the cell. Dipping your head, you watched the dark haired man return the keychain to a small nail in the wall.

“Hey…” Levi turned to you as you called out, his expression as soft as it was a few moments ago. “It’s really good to see you again,” a thousand butterflies suddenly exploded in his stomach. How long had he been waiting to hear those words? And suddenly, he found himself unable to reply.

“Tch, go to sleep, Raven,” he reveled in your amused hum as he turned on his heel, leaving you to recover after today.

꧁ꨄ꧂

Levi ran a hand through his hair. Sitting at his desk in his orderly kept office, he could barely focus on the reports in front of him. That haunted look in your eyes had left a significant mark on him. The way you now spoke was so different to the bubbly younger girl he knew.

With a shake of his head, he attempted to divert his attention back to the account of the mission today. You’d taken down a few of his men yourself, he recalled watching your blades find purchase in his makeshift squad. A few others hadn’t returned from where they’d chased your Shadows. Actually, most others didn’t return.

As predicted, it was a bloodbath.

Leaning forward, he reached for his tea, continuing to scan over the document until his eyes settled on your alias, and he couldn’t help but wonder why you hadn’t told anyone your name. It prompted a memory he wasn’t expecting. He’d tried so many times to bury his past. Thinking about it saved him from thinking about his lost friends. But it was unavoidable.

“Hey! ‘Re’ya gonna buy anything? Or you just gonna keep staring?” Levi peaked out from behind the legs of a taller man, peering at the young girl who seemed to be giving his father figure sass. He couldn’t understand it. Didn’t she know who he was? She didn’t look much older than him. Maybe eight? Nine even?

“Listen little missy, I don’t think you wan’ to rush me,” the southern lilt of Kenny’s dangerously low voice didn’t seem to deter the little merchant. Levi’s eyes widened as she folded her arms, her grubby face creasing as she frowned. For someone so young, she certainly had an impressive glare.

“Or what? You gonna kill me? I sell to the whole street, mister. You kill me, they starve,” Wow, she really seemed to have this whole thing going for her. Levi looked up at Kenny, able to just make out the subtle smile under the shadow of his hat.

“What’s your name, little girl?

“Hmph. What’s it to you?” she retorted, stepping closer. It was only then she seemed to notice his presence. Her glare seemed to soften almost instantly, head tilting in sheer curiosity. Her sparkling, (E/C) eyes widened upon seeing him there. He only occupied a fraction of her attention, before it returned to Kenny, that scowl also returning.

“You’ve got guts kid, I’ll give you that. But maybe that’s simply cuz you don’t know who I am,” he mused, picking up one of the loaves of bread you were currently selling. They weren’t fresh. Nothing ever was. But it was the best your family had to offer.

“Kenny the Ripper, right? Yeah, I’ve heard of you. Seen your ugly face in the newspaper when those shits up top toss their trash through the grates. And you better buy that now your filthy hands have been all over it,” Levi couldn’t tell if this girl was brave or stupid. He’d never heard anyone speak to Kenny like that and actually get away with it.

“(Y/N) (L/N)! Watch your language young lady! And what have I told you about mouthing off to customers?!” her face quickly morphed from a glare to something he could only describe as sheepish. An older woman leaning out from the door behind you. Her hair colour was different to yours, but those eyes… they were your eyes.

“But Maaaaa, I was just—“

“No buts. Inside, now,” her voice was stern, but Levi was perceptive from a young age. He could see the softness in her eyes as the girl pouted. Turning back, he watched her send a cheery wave goodbye in his direction, pausing slightly as it wasn’t returned. Her brows furrowed, before she darted inside.

“Quite the brat you got there,” Kenny remarked, handing over a coin in payment for the bread he’d picked up.

“Yeah, sorry about her. Pain in my ass but her heart’s in the right place. I hope,” Levi wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation, too distracted by watching the same girl clamber out the open window and onto the ledge above. Only using her right hand to climb, she paused, as if calculating something before shimmying along the wall, round the corner and out of sight. Before Levi even had time to question what the hell he’d just witnessed, her head popped round the corner, eyes searching for him. He raised his brows in question when she gestured for him, whipping back round the corner. Seeing Kenny still caught up in conversation, he quietly left the two adults, heading for the narrow alleyway she’d just ducked into.

“Hey,” the whisper made him whirl, stopping to see her cautiously step from the shadows near the wall. “You looked hungry, so I stole this from our stocks,” it became apparent as to why she was only using one hand to climb when she presented another, slightly smaller loaf of bread. It wasn’t as stale as the ones on the stall. “We got fresh ingredients yesterday. My father’s a baker but we only sell the stale ones because we wouldn’t be able to keep up with the demand for fresh bread,” she explained quietly, her eyes wide in earnest. If it wasn’t for his ravenous hunger, Levi would have declined the offer. However, the smell was too good to pass up on. Slowly, he reached for it, half expecting her to snatch it back. But her honest expression remained, only retracting her hand after he’d taken a bite. “Don’t talk much, do you? That’s okay, I get a lot of people who are shy.”

Crossing her legs, she lowered herself to the floor, resting her back against the wall to what he could only assume was her house. He followed suit, sitting opposite her in the damp alleyway.

“Your dad’s an asshole, by the way. Very obkonshus,” Levi assumed she was trying to say obnoxious, but didn’t correct her. He almost found it endearing.

“He’s not my dad,” his blunt response had her head whipping back to look at him, almost in disbelief that he had actually spoken. A small blush blossomed across her cheeks at her mistake.

“O-oh. Sorry. I didn’t know,” an awkward silence settled over them, before she spoke up again. “Your not-dad’s an asshole,” Levi glanced at her, noting her cheeky smirk. His own lips twitched in amusement. She wasn’t wrong. Kenny was an asshole.

They stayed there until he’d finished his bread, (Y/N) simply talking about everything and nothing.

“Where’d that little rat scurry away to?” Kenny’s drawl interrupted your little conversation, prompting the both of you to shoot to your feet. The girl shot him a worried look, not knowing how this was going to play out. Levi was never one to offer reassurance, never really needing to, until now. He tried his hand at a reassuring expression, before stepping out the alleyway a little.

“Here, I was just—” he looked back to the narrow street where she just was, only to find she’d completely disappeared. His eyes widened ever so slightly, attempting to peer further down the alley. How had she done that? She was right there. Maybe you’d already started your climb? His eyes travelled up the side of the wall, but found nothing.

“The fuck are you lookin’ at brat? C’mon, we’re leavin’,'' Kenny strode past him, roughly tugging him along. But Levi wasn’t looking where he was going, silver eyes still glued to that alley, waiting for her to emerge. But she never did.

A harsh knock on his door snapped him out of his memory spiral. How long had he been sitting here? Usually he had a good grasp on time but right now it could have been four in the morning or two in the afternoon. Running a hand down the side of his face, he went to sip his tea, grimacing as the now cold liquid graced his tongue. Setting it down almost immediately, he would have forgotten anyone knocked on his door in the first place had they not knocked again.

“Levi? Are you in there?” Erwin. Great.

“The fuck do you want Eyebrows?” Erwin clearly took that as permission to enter. Not that he needed permission.

Levi raised his eyes as his Commander strode in, pushing the door closed behind him.

“I was wondering if you managed to get information out of our little criminal.”

Levi’s jaw flexed.

“No.”

“Nothing?” Erwin seemed a little surprised and Levi couldn’t for the life of him think why. He didn’t know about your relationship, and it wasn’t like he was well practiced in his social skills.

“Nothing. She’s refusing to say anything other than annoying, sarcastic quips.”

“You two aren’t so different then.”

“Oi,” Erwin chuckled at Levi’s low warning, holding up an apologetic hand.

“Apologies, forgive me. It was just a joke,” Levi rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue as Erwin took a seat on the leather sofa, crossing an ankle over his knee. “I’m surprised. I thought you two may get along. Considering your shared upbringing,” if he wasn’t talking to Levi, anyone else would have thought it was an innocent enough assumption. But over the years, Levi had learned Erwin’s tells, and knew when there was something deeper going on. But still, there was no way he could know about your literal shared past.

“She’s abrasive, rude, cocky and thoroughly unpleasant. Why on earth would we get along?” Levi knew he was lying through his teeth. Whilst yes, you were in fact abrasive, cocky and rude, you were far from unpleasant. He wouldn’t have shared his heart with you if you were.

Erwin pinched the bridge of his nose. Suddenly he looked incredibly tired, like he hadn’t slept in weeks.

“Did you know her? From your time down there. Did you two ever run into each other?” straight to the point, it seemed. Erwin hadn’t missed the Captain’s flash of recognition back when you’d taken your mask off. He hadn’t missed the way he froze to the spot.

But Levi wasn’t about to open up to anyone, especially not the same Commander that had dragged him kicking and screaming into the Scouts.

Truth be told, after that first interaction, Levi had tried his damndest to see you again at every opportunity. He’d never been shown that sort of kindness since his mother died, and he didn’t want your little spark to be snuffed out by the Underground. He didn’t speak to you very often, only silently offering to walk you home at night, warding off any unwanted attention a young woman would draw.

He offered to share his small home with you when you were both around fourteen. It had been two years since Kenny abandoned him, and he noticed you looked directionless, and though it had taken a while for you to open up, he was happy for you to stay with him until you found somewhere else.

He just never expected to fall in love with you, or for you to fall in love with him.

“No. I’ve never seen her before,” Levi lied, keeping his eyes trained on the same document he must have been staring at for the last god knows how long, too lost in his own mind to concentrate.

Erwin wasn’t quite as good at reading Levi, and so accepted that as his truthful answer.

“Very well, I bid you a good night, Captain,” ah. So it was nighttime. Noted.

“Yeah yeah, see you tomorrow,” Levi waved his hand dismissively, once again earning another chuckle from Erwin as the door was pulled shut.

Levi almost instinctively reached for his tea again, only just remembering it was stone cold. He sighed in irritation, rising from his chair. He didn’t think there was enough tea in the world to help him sort through his thoughts. But damn if it didn’t make it easier.

Rolling his now stiff shoulders, he picked up the cold brew and headed to the kitchen. It was going to be a long night.

꧁ꨄ꧂

Sleeping in the Underground City was a luxury. Despite your exhaustion, sleep didn’t come easily. You assumed you must have dozed off for an hour at least before the faint sound of multiple footsteps had you sitting bolt upright, your muscles barking in protest. You were always aware of your surroundings. Always ready, even when you may look like you were resting.

You didn’t quite know what to expect, quickly running through several scenarios and possibilities in your head. One of those possibilities rounded the corner from the stairs. Four MP soldiers now stood outside your cell, one jiggling the keys into the lock. Immediately you stood, not going down without a fight. Though it wasn’t much of one. Before you had even landed a proper blow on any of them, you were harshly kicked to the floor. Your body having not woken up properly yet, you were easy enough to subdue as they clasped your wrists together in front of you with rope. Not what you were expecting but it was more comfortable than behind your back.

You stayed silent as they dragged you further deeper into the complex of jails and cells. You didn’t imagine they would span this far beneath what you assumed was the headquarters, but nonetheless you kept walking until you were faced with a wooden door. The same soldier fiddled with the lock until it swung open and you were kicked inside.

Raising your head, you saw the room wasn’t exactly empty. An array of bats and blunt trauma objects rested against the far side of the wall, but that wasn’t what threw the spear of terror into your heart.

A single, iron hook extended down from the ceiling. It looked like it would be used for bleeding or drying meat, but you could think of several other uses for it. For example, your current situation.

The door locking behind you had your head whirling, eyes darting from the man with the key to the wood that now trapped you inside.

“Ah, Raven. I’m sure our commander forewarned you about this, I don’t really know why you look so surprised,” you shivered at the fake pleasant tone, a stark contrast to the way you were now being tugged to your feet, arms thrown up above you. You realise now why they used rope instead of chains, your wrists being hooked up above you. Your feet now only just grazing the floor, head falling between your shoulders with your loose thin shirt riding up your stomach. You suddenly regretted shedding your leather jacket earlier, wanting to be a little more comfortable as you attempted to sleep.

“We have strict instructions not to permanently damage you, however we have various other methods,” one of your torturers stalked behind you, reaching up to twist the hook so you spun with him, now facing the wall of weaponry. The other three who had accompanied you all leant against the wall to you right, as if waiting for their turn. “I thought I would be kind enough to let you choose which we start with. Since you’d be the one on the receiving end,” the sick fuck. He was really enjoying this wasn’t he?

“At least tell me what you fucking want,” you spat, thrashing slightly in your bonds. The man simply laughed, crossing to the selection.

“Oh, we don’t want information. Just for you to suffer as much pain as we did when you killed our comrades,” ah, so they had personal connections. Understood.

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat,” your crooked, satisfied grin faltered as his expression darkened, crossing the room towards you in a few strides. Roughly grabbing your chin, he forced your head up to meet his gaze as you writhed in his tight grip.

“You know, you were quite the formidable criminal down there. Slaughtering and murdering whoever you pleased. Harming those who had done nothing to you. But look at you now, strung up like a squealing pig. Fuck, if it isn’t satisfying to see,” he threw your head back down before driving his foot into your gut. The impact sent you swinging backwards, saliva flying from your mouth.

Raising your eyes, you shot him a visceral glare as he browsed his collection of weapons as if he was picking out a pastry at a bakery. Opting for the classic wooden bat, you braced yourself for the night to come, knowing it was going to be a long one.

[rjsenvs3000w22]

Blog 10: Reflecting as an interpreter

Throughout this course, it’s been amazing to read all the different backgrounds each person brings from all over the world, that each brought us here, writing these blogs. I think it goes to show how strongly nature can really bring people together. Whether you're in a science major or not we all feel some sort of bond with the outdoors we’d like to extend to others. In a month I’ll be graduating with a degree in Environmental Biology and I'm excited to see where it will take me. I think the writing and personal reflecting I’ve done throughout this course will surely help me in the future. I believe that the ethics and beliefs a person carries with them constantly evolve throughout life the more you learn, which has happened even to me during this last semester.

First off, I really enjoyed watching the video of David Susuki and Richard Louv discussing the importance of connecting with nature. A takeaway from the video is that it’s important to remember that nature can be found even in the most urban areas. We don't have to travel to national or provincial parks to believe we are more connected than other people, it all depends on your perception of what's around you. They said to think of what you can do in your own yard and neighborhood to appreciate what's there. This could be starting your own little garden or collecting indoor plants, putting out bird seed or attracting pollinators etc. Even in a concrete jungle there are always ways to connect.

This is a picture of the greenhouse thats actually on uog campus attached the the Bovey Building! I’ve gone here many times this semester just to take in the beauty of all the plants. Its open to anyone I highly recommend taking a look if you havent.

This is another spot affiliated with uog on college ave across from the arboretum. The trial gardens in the summer and early fall are a beautiful place to see the colours of nature. 

I believe that nature truly has healing abilities and that everyone should have access to it. Studies have shown that spending just 20 minutes outside in nature can decrease stress hormones (Loria, 2019). This can range from a variety of things like a walk to just tending to your garden or plants (I think this is why I accumulated so many house plants during covid lockdowns). Nature can heal both mentally and physically by improving sleep, reducing depression, cardiovascular disease and obesity (Loria, 2019). I’ve become aware though that not everyone has the privilege to access nature for many reasons. I am very grateful for the fact I grew up with easy access to fun outdoor experiences, but I will agree it created a sort of ignorance to those with the opposite. Thats why its important as an interpreter to consider this. Each person brings along a personal set of experiences, interests, knowledge, ability and personality (Beck et al., 2018). I think to be a successful interpreter this must be acknowledged on the job, and to treat everyone the same regardless of past experiences.

I also believe that we should leave nature just as pristine as when we found it.

“Even a wounded world is feeding us. Even a wounded world holds us, giving us moments of wonder and joy. I choose joy over despair. Not because I have my head in the sand, but because joy is what the earth gives me daily and I must return the gift.” -Robin Wall Kimmerer

I think this is also a responsibility we have as a nature interpreter. While nature is there for us to enjoy, it is also there for the next people. This is why many parks have the “leave no trace principle” when camping or being a tourist. Interpretation involves the individual seeing the beauty or understanding the significance of the resource (Beck et al., 2018). Understanding the significance of all nature's resources means we must develop a sustainable relationship in order to properly respect them. From a consumer level in our lives this can mean only buying essentials at the grocery store to reduce extra waste, and living a less materialistic life. As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned the importance of only buying what I really need, as everything requires energy and resources to produce. Being a good interpreter means practicing what you preach on or off the job.

The approaches that are most suitable to me as an interpreter would be through art or technology, since both of these can come in so many different forms. With digital advances, interpretation occurs via websites, blogs and social media among other technologies” (Beck et al., 2018), and has become a much easier way to interpret information across large scales. As I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs, my favorite way of sharing nature is through photography, which is a combination of both technology and art. This is a way of sharing to people that may have physical, temporal or economic barriers that may prevent them from ever seeing what’s in the photos. I’ve learned and remembered more from watching online nature documentaries and photos than I have from what’s around me. Although, there is a dark side to technology that pulls us away from nature. As mentioned in the notes, children spend more time inside on their devices than they used to in the past. Richard Louv mentioned that the more high tech our lives become the more nature we need. Using technology to connect with each other and nature is a way we can utilize it in a positive way. As interpreters, we have the responsibility to use these tools in a way that is enthusiastic and engaging. Not only this, but we must consider that everyone learns different ways, so using these to adhere to visual, auditory and kinesthetic learners creates the most successful approach.

Thanks to everyone I’ve connected with through these blogs!

-Reilly

Beck, L., Cable, T.T., & Knudson, D.M. (2018). Interpreting Cultural and Natural Heritage for a Better World (1st ed.). Sagamore Publishing

Loria, K. (2019). The Healing Power of Nature. Consumer Reports. Retrieved March 24, 2022, from https://www.consumerreports.org/health-wellness/healing-power-nature-outdoors/

[ambientdinosaur]

Why not both? They are like pranking, fun-loving perky goths!

it makes me laugh how people portray corvids as these mysterious, badass birds but in reality they’re just

[rainygothherowolf]

Daminette- Oblivious Idiots

Ladybug groans her face in a pillow as she freaks out a little a lot.

"How'd you figure it out? I'm not that obvious, am I? Do you think he knows? He can't know, that would be awful- ohhhh NonononononoNOnonononooooo. No. Please, tell me he doesn't know." Ladybug is laying face down on the couch in the living room of Titans Tower, Beast Boy smirking down at her reaction to being found out. The boy just brought up her rather obvious crush, and now the Parisian hero is a little panicked. If Beast Boy noticed who else did? Everyone on the team is really smart.

The Parisian joined the Titans over a year ago after asking the Justice League for help. She fits into the team’s dynamic really well, playing video games with Beast Boy and Kid Flash; hanging out with Star and binging rom-coms; Raven was a tough nut to crack but didn’t seem to mind hanging out. They did get along but respected that they just had very different interests.

Robin is a completely different story, at first he was rude but the bluenette was stubborn. She wasn't going to deal with his bratty attitude, she sticks up for her herself. At some point, the Parisian earns his respect. They became friends over time, working well together though Robin insisted they train so she could improve her technique.

"It's kinda obvious for me, but he's pretty dense. Bats are always idiots when it comes to emotions n' stuff." The young Parisian hero looks up from her pillow.    

"I know that... he's my best friend. Friend- Merde. What if he sees me just as a friend!?" The bluenette's hands go to her hair, eyes blown wide. It takes everything in Beast Boy not to laugh at how blind the girl is being. Does she not see how smitten the fourth Robin is for her? That he acts more like a human being when she's around?

"No, what if all he ever sees in me is a friend? This isn't good, then we'll never date and he's just so datable. Have you seen the way his nose crinkles when he tastes something he doesn't like, holding it until it goes away? And the way he swoops his hair, I'd bet it's soft. And he's so strong-"

"Ew. I have ears, please don't-" Ladybug doesn’t seem to hear him, continuing her rant. 

"And then one day I'll have to watch him fall for someone, I think I already have. It's awful- not that I'm not happy he's happy, because I am- but I think he likes Raven. They spend so much time together, sneaking off sometimes."

"I bet they like each other, how could I compete with her. She's amazing, and- and I'm not." The bluenette's tone goes from one of acceptance to defeat.

"Oh, okay, we got serious. Uh- don't cry." When he and Raven went over the plan, they hadn't covered the possibility of a) Ladybug thinking Robin and Raven were a thing; or b) that Ladybug would compare herself to Raven. The Parisian is always so self-confident and optimistic, perfect even- she never lets anyone get her down. She huffs at his less than helpful response.

"I'm not gonna cry. It's just, why would he like me? I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm annoying." The girl stands pacing, trying to decipher the enigma that is Robin. The girl's moods changes at the drop of a dime, leaving Beast Boy to try and play catch-up.

"Am I  annoying to him? Probably. Raven is so calm and nice, he has no reason not to like her."

"That's definitely not true, if he thinks that he would tell you." She nods, sitting on the couch, leaning on her hands. His words help a little but a girl’s mind is her worst enemy, all the worst 'what if's' popping into her brain like spam mail in an already full mailbox.

This is going to take more intervention than he thought. "You're ridiculous, that isn't true."

"You're just blind, and as you would say- 'you're too close.'" Robin rolls his eyes, Raven is sitting on her bed as Robin looks at her, standing.

"All I'm saying is-"

"I understand what you said, you don't need to repeat it. All I'm saying is-" He mocks, "- that it's highly unlikely she'd be interested in me." This time Raven rolls her eyes, he really is an idiot.

"How can I prove it to you- just ask her out. She'll say yes."

"I don't trust you, you have no proof."

"Fine. Don't believe me, but mark my words, if you wait too long she might settle for someone else. You heard her complain about being mobbed on Valentines day last year."

"Whatever, she didn't like any of them."

"Yeah, because she likes you." Robin glares at Raven as he walks out of her room to go train. Robin first saw her as annoying but she grew on him. He mistook his interest in her as friendship until Raven commented on his liking their latest addition without telling her. It went downhill from there, now it’s like he can’t get her off his mind.

He tried to deny it, reason a way out of the conclusion. Raven did her best to encourage him but she was getting nowhere, the entire team was frustrated because both refused to see what was staring them right in the face.  Beast Boy and Raven meet with Starfire after both Ladybug and Robin go back to their respective home cities.

"What did you the learn?" Beast Boy speaks up first, recounting his confronting Ladybug about it. 

"She's got it bad, thinks he and Raven are into each other." 

"Robin is convinced she doesn't like him. He doesn't want to get rejected so he refuses to ask her out."

"How can we tell him she likes him that he actually does the listening?"

"He'd only be convinced if he heard her say it." Raven reasons, knowing how blind and hard headed Robin is.

"There's no way she'll fess-up, she's too insecure. Even if we convinced her that Robin wasn't into you."

"I wish the little D could just hear her say it in passing. He would ask without fear and she'd get to date him without putting herself out there." Beast Boy can already see it, it’s the perfect plan. 

"I'm sure I could get her to talk about it in the hall, you could get him close enough to hear?" Beast Boy offers, it could work but they can't see each other.

"We'll use the hallways on the fifth floor, that are separated by a wall and meet towards the elevator?"

"Sounds great, Mama." Raven rolls her eyes at his nickname for her. Starfire looks between the two before abruptly standing, trying to hide her smile.

"Yes, well, I must attend to some dishes. Farewell." The two shared a look. Perhaps it isn't only Robin and Ladybug that need to come clean.

"We gotta say something sooner than lat-"

"I know, but not yet. We could use this to our advantage..." "Right? So I had to go all the way to the other side of the city to deliver this banner, it was worth it though. The skater friend won."

"Do they still race? You said this was a normal way to spend your weekend."

"O-oh well, I don't see them much anymore." Ladybug's shoulders turn inwards, looking to the floor. Robin hates the small frown on her lips, he knows better than to pry but maybe if he got some more information he could help.

"How come?"

"Just, time. Grew apart I guess."

"You're an awful liar."

"I take that as a compliment!" Ladybug defended, smiling slightly. "You see, while Mr.-Tall,-Dark,-Handsome,-and-Mysterious is making up lies he has to keep straight I'm simply seen as an airhead that forgets her phone everywhere she goes!"

"You're even worse at changing the subject." Ladybug's smile falters.

"Hehe, yeah, have you seen Star? She said she had the cutest picture of you asleep in your costume with some dog." Robin crosses his arms, why is she avoiding the subject?

"I have plenty of pictures of 'the dog' but please-" He pats the seat next to him on his bed, "-elaborate on this 'growing apart' situation." He isn't going to give in, he has that face he used to do during training when she was too tired to get up. Ladybug sit, plopping onto the bed her arms spread across the comfortable fabric of the duvet.

"I can't say much, just that they don't want to be friends with me anymore. None of them do."

"Who's none of them?"

"My friends. All of them, only one does but they 'can't' be my friend. He just doesn't have enough of a backbone."

"Surely you have other friends besides the mindless heathens."

"School and hero duties add up, I hardly have enough time to keep up with my jobs. I don't have time for that, and they could get suspicious, notice the patterns where my old friends would see the clumsy forgetful me." He nods, laying on his back and turning to look her in the eye.

"At least I have you guys." She smiles, brushing some hair from Robin's forehead. It feels nice.

"If it were up to me-"

"It isn't, and it's best not to dwell. Come on, bird boy, let's get a snack."

"Right, but none of that hot chocolate nonsense." She rolls her eyes, she'll get him to try it. One day.

"Are we sure this is gonna work?" Beast Boy is unsure, Raven hadn't seen the way Ladybug reacted, it was like no matter what he said her mind found some way to turn it into a bad thing, like she could only see the worst in a situation. It was completely unlike her.

"Yes."

"But-"

"No 'but's', this will give Robin the push he needs to ask her out. She'll say yes. End of story."

"Then why are we planning the the thing with the mo-"

"In case he's more dense than humanly possible and because it's time people knew."

"Right... I'll wait till ten minutes from now to get her to walk past, you have till then to get him there, we'll take two laps just in case." Raven nods before going to look for Robin. She finds him in the living room, reading a book. 

“Come.” Raven turns around and makes her way towards the elevator, he catches up and they ride to the fifth floor. They exit and hide behind the designated wall. 

"You are not to make a sound, simply wait and listen.”

They wait.

And listen.

It takes ten minutes for something to happen, the elevator bell rings and opens at their floor. Raven motions for him to stay quiet. Robin hears to footsteps as someone sighs.

"-How could I not? He's just so- dreamy."

"Ew. Why do you even like him? You're too nice for him."

"I am not 'too nice' and Robin is not mean... He's just... gruff- yeah, gruff, at first. But you should have seen how cute it was when we were talking about something and I was laying and he laid down next to me and there was hair blocking his eyes a little so I swiped it out of the way and it was so soft." She says it all in one breath which should be concerning if Robin’s attention wasn’t being taken up by trying to not freak out. His eyes wide, back pressed against the wall so as not to get caught. She keeps talking, he has to hear more.

She sounds so sure of her affection, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. She likes him? Like to date? Raven is right? This is impossible, but it was happening. She’s ranting about things not even he notices about himself like they’re the most amazing things in the world.

"And have you seen him smile? And his laugh, it's one of my favorite things about him. And did you notice the way he always perks up when there's a happy animal on the television, like it reminds him of something- I'd bet he has an animal. I wish I could have a pet." They kept walking, she kept rambling about him, his hair, his smile, the way he walked. He heard the voices fade at she and Beast Boy kept walking.

"I told you." Robin didn't even have a response, she feels the same way?

"She likes me?"

"You've got to be joking, after all that, you still don't believe it?"

"Shut up, I'm processing." Raven crosses her arms, impatiently waiting, they'll loop back soon.

"She likes me."

"Just keep listening." Ladybug and Beast Boy came back into earshot. When they got closer, Beast Boy cut her off when she starts going off topic about his hair.

"So if he asked you out, what would you do?" Robin hears them stop, she makes a high pitched whine he knows means she’s flustered, she used to do it every time he glared her down and got a little too close, at the time, an unknown symptom of his attraction towards the heroine.

"I mean, if I could speak- I'd say yes but I'd probably freak out and fall or trip over my words. It doesn't matter, he wouldn't ask. Why in the world would he like me?" Raven has to remind Robin to stay quiet and hidden with a shushing motion and a hand to his shoulder. He stays in place despite the fact that he wanted to list every reason why he would. His stupid monkey brain thought of kissing her to drive his point home but shoos the intrusive thought away.

"Right, and what you'd kiss him?" It was like his teammate is reading his stupid, teenage mind.

"Pretending he liked me back? I mean, I could go on about his li-"

"Please don't." The bluenette laughs with him.

"Ah! I have to go meet Robin for training. Bye!"

"Later." The girl's footsteps disappear as the elevator door arrives and carries her towards the training room.

"Dude you better not say she doesn't like you again." Beast Boy sad, knocking on the wall to get his attention.

"Why don't you just ask her?"

"Yes, the little D, she will the gladly accept." Kor'i appears out of nowhere, he hates when she hovers like that. He can never tell where she is. He glares at them all, he’s late to meet with Ladybug. How in the world is he going to face her after that, it was so wrong to have listened. She hadn't meant for him to hear those things. Robin is filled with guilt as he walks into the waiting elevator and nears the training room. Ladybug is there smiling and slightly pink, likely from their teammate's questions.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes." He couldn't tell her he heard, she'll get embarrassed. He can't act on it either, she sounds busy enough as is. He would just be in the way.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He snaps at her this time, the rest of their training session is silent. She leaves back to Paris as soon as her shift is over, not staying to speak with Robin like she usually does. No one is amused by his behavior.

"What the hell? You get the confirmation you've been needing to finally ask her out and you start acting like you hate her?" Beast Boy finally exclaims, Raven kicks him under the chair.

"It's none of your business, and none of you should have interfered. I was not meant to hear any of that, she doesn't have time for me anyways." Robin gets up from his seat and walks towards the zeta-tube.

After that, things get a little better. Robin isn't rude or snappy to her but they don't talk or have their little one on one training sessions. Ladybug does everything in her power to try and rebuild the bridge she didn't know had been burnt. She doesn't know what she did wrong, what she said, what happened made Robin want to avoid her like the plague.

Is he going to leave her too?

No. It doesn't matter that he probably put two and two together and knows she likes him, that he probably likes someone else, he is her friend at the very least, it might not be enough but it’s something.

Ladybug gathers her courage, waiting for him to pass the one place she knows she can get him. Waiting right at a corner, she hears him coming. She wants to laugh when he slows, always knowing when she tries to sneak up on him, but this time she holds it in. Reminding herself of why she’s there.

Just as he comes into range, she turns the corner and faces him. 

Her face is angry, no, pissed. Her eyebrows scrunched, a deep frown replacing the usual smile, she shoves a finger onto his chest. He always knew she was there but her expression, it’s hurt and angry and world ending- his world to be specific.

"What is your deal? What the hell did I do to you that you won't even talk to me anymore? What did I say? Why do you suddenly hate me?"

"I-"

"I mean, one day we're laughing and talking, and I tell you about what happened with my friends, and then the next you don't even bother to greet me!" She berates him in French, she gets more passionate about her speech until she's out of gas. At least, that's what he thinks.

“It’s disrespectful and hurtful! You don’t just drop someone because they did something to upset you, you try to fix it. You try to work through it!” 

"I-"

"What? You what? I told you about my friends, not only did I put a lot of trust in you for that- it could have pointed towards my identity if I slipped up. You're too easy to talk to. And don't you dare say that this is just how you are because we both know you've been off lately. So just tell me! Tell me you hate me, tell me you want space, tell me somethings wrong or that I did something but just don't shrug this off. You are too important to me to just let this go!" He can see the unshed tears in her eyes, why is she crying? Why does he have to make her cry? He doesn’t deserve her tears, her affection, he doesn’t deserve her. 

"I just- I think you can do better. I’m not a good enough companion." Robin refused to use the word friend, she isn’t his friend, she’s so much more than that. A rouge tear falls, her face incredulous.

"What?"

"You sound busy enough, you'd be better off spending your time with someone else." Robin doesn’t look her in the eye, it’s the honest truth but he can’t stand looking at her so upset. 

Ladybug is at a loss, that’s why he’s upset? Because he thinks she was wasting her time? That he wasn't good enough for her to spend her time with?

It’s like a switch flips, her anger melting away. Her jabbing finger falls.

"Who could be better?" She hugs him, Damian does have some experience from Grayson so he awkwardly returns the favor. The far shorter girl sniffles once before pulling back with a smile.

Robin feels a pang in his chest, he made her cry. She wipes away the unshed tears from the corners of her eyes, glad to have the mess over and done with. He vows never to do so ever again.

"I never wanna hear you say that you're anything less than the best, c'mon time to get your butt handed to you."

"Spar?"

"You wish." Robin sighed, she always beats him in video games. As they walk, the alarm blares. There’s an attack somewhere. The duo runs towards the living room, Starfire is already there with Beast Boy, Raven, and Kid Flash.

"We've got two. There's some kind of monster tearing through down town, we need to stop them."

"And the other?" Robin asks.

"Paris, akuma." Ladybug groans, like she always does. She runs off towards the zeta tubes with a wave goodbye. Time to deal with the mangy cat's puns.

Robin and the rest of the team walk back into Titan Tower expecting to see Ladybug waiting for them, she always gets back before them in situations like this. Kid Flash speeds off after grabbing his things saying he’s late to something, as usual. Beast Boy limps, most of his weight supported by Raven as they make their way towards the med bay. 

Robin and Starfire sit in the living room, she shows him photos of Dick in ridiculous sleeping positions or mid fall but Robin is on edge. Why isn't she back yet?

Of course, he gets an immediate answer. Ladybug's distress signal goes off, he and Star are off without a moment's hesitation. Jumping into the zeta-tubes, worry for their teammate clear. After over a year of working with her she’s never used the distress button. The machine powers up and blinds them, Damian jams a communicator in his ear and tunes in to the local news station. He hears where Ladybug is and he and Starfire set off in search for the girl. Paris is bright, people stop and stare as the heroes make their way towards the Eiffel tower.

Robin's mind is hyper focused and clouded at the same time, he knows he has to be at his best to help Ladybug so he shoves all that annoying emotion in a stupid box, shuts it, locks it, and pushes it into a dark little corner. They arrive at the lawn of the Eiffel tower.

Looking exhausted, Ladybug charges the villain. A blond boy in a black cat suit is flung at her with ease. The monster tries to throw a bus full of people at the two as Ladybug tries to get the boy off, he doesn’t seem to care, trying to hug the girl. Robin feels his chest tighten in jealousy.

Robin motions towards the bus, Starfire flies past and catches the bus mid air. The dark haired teenage boy is quick to lift the ill equipped partner he's heard so very much about off Ladybug.

"I believe she is trying to get up." He drops the boy to the side before offering a hand to Ladybug.

"Hello, again." Ladybug smiles up at him, taking Robins hand. Pulling her up, the two stand close together. Staring.

"Hi."

"Shall we get back to the task at hand?!" Starfire asks, mid battle with the monster when Ladybug and Robin snap back to reality. They join the fight, Chat sticks to the sidelines with a pout. The monster is tough, she only pressed the panic button in fear of the hostages being injured or killed. Even if they were physically healed by the miraculous cure it’s traumatizing.

The battle doesn’t last very long, the monster is extremely susceptible to Robin's ice capsules, and is no match for Kor'i's strength.

Ladybug is relieved when she sees the purified akuma flap away.

"Miraculous Ladybug!" The bluenette was able to use her lucky charm quickly enough, she'd say thank you before giving Tikki food and returning to the tower to finish her shift.

"Well done."

"Thank you, you weren't too bad yourself." Marinette smiles back to the far taller boy.

"Will you be returning to the tower? Should we wait for you?"

"You are the kidding, yes? We are in Paris! I'd like to go the shopping!" Ladybug laughed.

"With what money? My brother's card is rather telling. As is your own."

"I suppose you are correct."

"Don't worry, Starfire, we can go on a shopping day soon." The girl smiled.

"Yes, the little D, would you join us? Raven may join as well, yes, Ladybug? Girls day!"

"I do not qualify as a girl."

"Little D?" Ladybug asks, smiling softly before bursting into laughter. "I need to go help the victim and recharge. I'll see you back at the tower." Ladybug turns to leave but comes face to face with Chat. 

"What are you doing here? We don't need you." He directs his comments to both of the American heroes but mostly towards Robin. Ladybug pinches the bridge of her nose.

"We are members of the Teen Titans, we were asked to come. Now if you'll excuse us-"

"What? Who asked you to come here. My lady and I would never-"

"I did, and I am not 'your lady' you need to stop with the names and trying to distract me mid-battle, Chat.” 

“But-” Ladybug gives the mangy cat no time to explain, cutting in with no patience.

“No ‘but’s, you almost got us and all those hostages killed. Go. Home.” The tro of Titan’s walk away, it’s best not to give the boy anymore attention.

"We should do it now."

"What'd you mean? He's still acting like he can't stand her."

"No, they made up. I heard her yelling at him about it. He caved pretty quickly after that. We do it tonight, no more sneaking around and hopefully they get together." Beast Boy nods, watching Raven ice his ankle for him.

"Thanks, mama."

"... You're welcome." He smiles flicking some water on his girlfriend, she looks at him with a sad excuse for a glare.

"Alright, the ice should stay. Let's go see if she's back." Raven makes sure to keep Beast Boy off his ankle, quickly shooing him off to the empty living room couch. They don’t wait long for Robin, Starfire, and Ladybug to return.

"Thanks again for coming to help, guys." Starfire smiles. Robin nods.

"It was our pleasure, what shall we do now?"

"Movie?" Beast Boy asks, getting immediate yeses from the girls.

"I'll pass-"

"Come on." Raven complains, the guy can be such a pain.

"tt, no. That doesn't work on me."

"Pretty please?" Starfire asks. She pulls out the baby doll eyes and a pout.

"No, the physical appearance of the 'please' makes no difference-"

"Please?" Ladybug pulls out all the stops, she looks him right in the eyes, those big, blue, innocent eyes were so sad and pretty, she shuffles a foot, her hands behind her back. Her bottom lip juts out ever so slightly as her torso sways back and forth. His response is immediate.

"Yes." Ladybug grins in victory, Damian doesn’t get the chance to backpedal.

"Yay!" Starfire quickly steals Robin's usual seat. Raven and Beast Boy take up one side of the couch, Robin and Ladybug take up the other. Everyone bickers and argues over which movie to watch until Robin gets annoyed and plays one of the few movies he can bear. Lion King.

Throughout the duration of the film, Beast Boy slowly pushes Ladybug closer to him laying longways until he takes up the majority of the couch. Ladybug is squished against Robin, their arms pressing uncomfortably against each other. Deciding to test the waters, Robin wraps an arm around the Parisian's shoulder. The lights were off but the girl's blush is obvious. She has yet to move, he feels her glance in the opposite direction for a moment before leaning onto him.

Damian wasn't freaking out... Okay, Damian was only freaking out a little. He didn’t do well last time he saw she likes him. What should he do now? An annoying and sarcastic voice told him not to ignore her but they weren't much help. The little Grayson in Damian's mind told him to pull her a little closer, maybe kiss her head to make his intentions more clear. She still isn't aware of his affection towards her. He does the first, he could all but see the little Grayson smiling. Robin has no clue what to do next so he just does his best to watch the movie.

The lights come on far too soon, Ladybug doesn't move to get off him until she notices the lights turn on. She blushes that adorable shade of pink. That's when he sees it, just behind a blushing bluenette is Raven snuggling with Beast Boy as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. His brows furrow, his arm falls of Ladybugs shoulder. It was clear this isn’t a one time thing or anything of the sort. They know exactly what they’re doing, they’ve been seeing each other and she didn't tell him. After all the times he spoke about Ladybug, she didn't care to mention her own relationship.

Ladybug follows his line of sight, her posture goes from relaxed to tense.

To Marinette it’s like confirmation to something she knew all along, he likes Raven. Maybe he only wrapped his arm around her because of how squished they were. Which means she completely misread the situation and leaned onto him when he was just trying to be comfortable.

"I knew it!" Starfire exclaims, beaming. Raven just looks away trying or hide her small smile. Ladybug is happy their happy but Robin just walks away, his face neutral. She hates when he makes that face. Soon Starfire has to leave and Beast Boy hobbles to his room, ankle still tender.

Ladybug's overthinking keeps her in place, staring at her hands. She doesn’t even notice that Raven is still in the room with her.

"You should go talk to him."

"W-what? Me? No, he doesn't want to talk to me." Ladybug tried to say no but she couldn't help but be worried for Robin. Raven gives her a look, she relents.

"Fine." Ladybug drags herself to where she knows he'll be. He was always on the roof when he has to think. She mentally prepares herself for an undeniable, verbal confirmation that he doesn't like her, she forces herself to go- to be there for him.

"Go away." Damian is in no mood to deal with Raven, how could she not tell him?

"You can't get rid of a bug that easily, Rob." He chastises himself for being rude to Ladybug again, at least she doesn't sound upset because of it. She doesn't say anything, sitting next to him as they look over the brightly lit cityscape.

"Wanna talk about it?" He doesn't respond. The little Grayson, encouraged by the success of last time, tries to get Damian to hold her hand. Their hands were so close, just a few inches apart. That definitely isn't happening. "Right..." She trails off, not knowing what else to say. The silence grows, unchecked like a cancer.

"I- Just- Why wouldn't she tell me? After-" Robin was about to say too much but thankfully stopped himself.

"After what?" He’s relieved she’s still ignorant of his affection, putting himself out there like that’s a scary thought.

"Nothing. Nevermind."

"After you told her you like her." She speaks with such certainty, like she’s accepted it as fact. Is that what she really thought?

"What? No- I just- confided in her about something similar. I expected she'd do the same. She's one of my best friends." He sees Ladybug nod, that same look of  on her face.

"I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings. They probably just wanted to keep it quiet until they were ready to tell everyone." Robin had to admit she was probably right. He saw the way her hands fiddled and folded, she was trying to think of something to talk about, likely to distract him. She was always so considerate.

"So... girlfriend."

"Where'd you hear that?" He was so confused, the very idea is ridiculous.

"Well, you said you confided in Raven about something similar. I just assumed you had a partner."

"Oh. No." They sat in silence again, looking over the silent harbor. Damian gathers his courage, now is the perfect time- looking over a clear sky with the stars out. Isn't this the kind of situation girls daydream about? Now was the most likely time for her to accept. Deciding to just get it out, Damian starts speaking.

"Actually there's-"

"I know you probably don't-" Of course, just as Robin starts speaking, she does too. Alarm bells start ringing in his head, the little Grayson is trying to figure out what she was going to say while the rest of him starts freaking out.

They awkwardly laugh, looking away, Damian feels an unfamiliar little burning sensation on his cheeks. He’s loosing more of his nerve by the second.

"ILikeYou,LikeLikeLike." She just blurts it out, redder than her costume. Damian's head snaps to her with his lips parted. This is happening.

"I feel the same way. I- I apologize I didn't say so sooner I just- you said you were so busy already, I didn't want to become a distraction." Ladybug gives him a small smile, that was what that was about. She fondly wipes the hair from his forehead back, lacing her fingers through his hair. Her hand rested at the back of his neck, smiling. She looks so content, at peace.

"I see no issue in distractions."

"I suppose this is the part of the story where we kiss?" Robin puts a hand on the Parisian's cheek, inching closer. They move to close the gap until they were just a hairsbreadth away. Her eyes are so blue and so beautiful up-close.

"I suppose you'd be correct." Their lips meet, the beautiful night sky behind them- everything else melting away.

[corvusalbus93]

Angel Wings & Feather Colours

With demons coming in all shapes, colours and sizes, it is kinda sad that we have so little variation, when it comes to angels.

So, as I was working on my story, I came up with my own head-canon…in part to have more fun with character designs, but I also ended up working it into the story itself.

Now, angels seem to see themselves as the embodiment of justice, order, righteousness, champions of the light, and they want to look the part. Shining, white wings, gilded armour, the whole thing.

We see high ranking members within angel society like the Archon and Usiel have four wings, which might just be genetic variation. It is possible that angels born with extra wings are highly respected among their kind, perhaps it’s even seen as some sort of divine sign or blessing.

There is also Azrael with his unique wings, which were probably deliberately altered, when he became the Angle of Death. I just doubt he was born with glowing runes on his feathers.

Meanwhile, the wings of soldiers in Darksiders 1 all have a bluish glow and are armoured, giving them an almost artificial look, while Uriel’s glow golden. Still, we can be pretty sure that all angles are born with wings, since there is blood, whenever they are cut off. In the other games, we also encounter more and more angles with natural looking, white wings (Nathaniel, Seventh Legion). You can even see the bone structure in Darksiders 3, when fighting the undead.

We also know that Fallen Angels go through some physical changes, among others, wings turning a dark brown/reddish-brown. This was at least the case for both Abaddon and Astarte.

So, it stands to reason that coloured wings are stigmatized, even if some angels are born with them. To get to the actual head-canon; at first no one probably cared all that much, but as Heaven came into conflict with Hell, as more angels fell, opinions and perceptions may have changed. Now, pretty much any and all colours are associated with impurity and angels with coloured wings are treated more like second class citizens.

If angels have something like nobility or a high society, white wings or multiple wings might even be something families select for. Over the generations this could mean that pearly white wings are the norm for the ruling class, but coloured ones being more common among average citizens/lower class angels.

In the White Army, wings are also kind of part of the uniform, so there is even greater pressure to conform.

Therefore, in order to avoid discrimination and/or to be able to join the army, angels bleach their wings, maybe with a potion, possibly using magic. This would explain why especially lower rank soldiers have glowing wings, while most officers or other high ranking angels have more natural looking ones in game.

Also, it is possible that soldiers occasionally lose wings in battle, or have them amputated after severe injuries and replace them with prosthetic wings instead. Other might deliberately intensify the glow of their feathers to look more divine.

In my story “Pariahs”, the angels Strife meets stopped bleaching their wings after every moult, so he sees them with their natural colours. While some are white, there are plenty of other reminiscent of various birds of prey; eagles, owls, you name it.

---

Bonus Note from Strife: Do not, DO NOT, tell your angel friend that she reminds you of a plucked pigeon, when she’s moulting.

[dustofbrokenheart]

The Lost Boys: Take-Out Intrigue Part 1

Part One | Part Two

Marko x Reader

Word Count: 2,400

Warnings: racial slurs, some gore 

Summary: You catch Marko’s eye while he’s waiting on an order. (Since my blatant favoritism towards Dwayne was called out, I’m trying something new!) 

“Nin hao ma,” Marko called out as he entered the small restaurant.

The familiar scents of garlic, rice vinegar, and sesame oil wafted out from the kitchen in the back. Marko personally preferred the take-out joint down the block but it was David’s night to choose so he didn’t complain. Much.

The older woman at the counter bowed her head slightly with a smile. He wasn’t a regular but he was there enough that she recognized him. “Hao, hao.”

Mandarin was fluent but these owners spoke Cantonese which he wasn’t as familiar with. He supposed he could take time to learn but he’d been occupied with spray painting and the birds for the past few years. That didn’t leave much time, or desire, to pick up something else. Pleasantries out of the way, he switched back to English. His

“Let me get three orders of the sweet and sour pork, one sweet and sour shrimp, four chow mein, one lo mein, and one fried rice.” After a second of thought he added, “Oh, and some egg rolls.”

The owner wrote it all down quickly and waved the paper slip in between her fingers. “Wait here.”

She disappeared to the kitchen, leaving Marko by himself to admire the scrolls of art that hung on the wall.

In the back, she calmly walked over to where you were hunched over an open textbook, frantically taking notes. It was noisy in the kitchen so you didn’t notice her until she cuffed you on the back of the head.

“Oww!”

“Time to work. Keep an eye on the customer out front,” she nagged in Cantonese.

“Fine, fine. I’m going.” You held your hands up in surrender. But you snagged you stuff when she wasn’t looking and hoofed it to the register before she could chastise you again.

You stood at the register and it was impossible to miss the customer. He had a riotous mass of blonde curls pulled back into a ponytail and wore a patched-up jacket that was simultaneously too busy to look at and too interesting to look away from. He must have felt your gaze because he suddenly shifted his focus from the calligraphy on the walls and stared you straight in the eye.

You held your breath and after a few seconds, his face relaxed and he smiled at you. The smile only added to his attractiveness but you instinctively knew that he wasn’t as sweet as it would lead you to believe.

“You’re new,” he commented.

“Y-yeah. I mean, no,” you sputtered. That was embarrassing. You’d never struggled to speak with a customer before. The fact that he stared without blinking made it worse.

He merely hid his smile behind the fingerless gloves and stuck a thumb in his mouth. A possible oral fixation—? You stopped that thought dead in it’s tracks. It was highly inappropriate to think of a paying customer that way. His actions were none of your business.

You cleared your throat in an attempt to start over. “Actually, my family has known the owners forever. But yes, I’ve only been working here for a few months.”  

“I don’t remember seeing you,” he said crowding you despite the fact that there was a register between the two of you. “What’s your name?”

You weren’t sure why, but you felt the need to defend yourself to him. Which was ridiculous. You talked with chatty customers all the time, no problem.

“My name is Y/N. I always take the busy shifts since my English is better. This is the first time I’ve stayed later than the dinner rush.”

That answer must’ve settled something for him because he took at thumb out of his mouth and gave you the first genuine smile you’d seen thus far. In turn, you smiled back and the mood in the room calmed.

His attention went back to the calligraphy and you opened your textbook to the spot you left off at. Everything was quiet. “So…you like calligraphy?” he questioned.

The next fifteen minutes passed quickly as he got you talking about the restaurant’s décor. He was especially absorbed by the painting of a fiery-scaled eastern dragon, which you also liked. But your favorite was the Chinese phoenix on the opposite wall.

“Did you know the fenghuang is a lucky omen? They’re the bird of all birds in traditional mythology.”

That seemed to intrigue him. “The bird of all birds, huh?”

You latched on to the tone in his voice. “Do you like birds?”

He toed the tip of his worn boot into the linoleum floor. Laughed a little. “Yeah. You could say that.”

He opened his mouth to say more but at that moment you were called to bag up his order. A little reluctant, you excused yourself and went to kitchen. The food was already portioned into their respective white cartons, the top flaps folded in neatly.

Opening up the plastic bag, you quickly arranged the cartons inside and tied a with a small, snug knot at the top. Stapling the receipt to the bag, you drew a smiley face on it with a blue-ink pen. The smile came out a little lopsided but you left it alone, afraid it might turn out worse if you tried to fix it.

You lingered near the door, twisting the plastic in your hands. For some reason, you would be disappointed to see him leave. Which was crazy as you’d only talked for a few brief minutes. Judging by the size of the order, the poor guy probably needed to leave so he could bring other people their dinner too.

Resigned, and uncomfortable with that feeling, you went back out to the register. You made sure to use your most polite voice as you rang him up. The exchange happened normally and he dug a wad of dollars bills from his back pocket. It made you cringe to see the money so wrinkled and spotted with an unknown stain, but you kept your reaction to yourself.  

“Have a nice night,” you wished him as you tried to hand him his change.

He waved it off with a shake of his head that sent his curls bouncing. “Nah, keep it.”

And that was it. He turned to leave, swinging the plastic bag at his side with every step. There was no hesitation on his part and you sighed. Clearly, your interest was one-sided.

Logically, you knew shouldn’t take it personal, but emotionally, you couldn’t shake the feeling of rejection. Remembering that you were in the middle of reading, you went to open your notes again. You flipped through the pages slowly, your heart not in it.

Outside of the small restaurant, the red neon open sign casted hazy lighting on the cracked cement sidewalk. Marko hovered just far enough from the door that you couldn’t see him. He snickered.

Your disappointed sighs had followed him as soon as he turned his back on you to leave and he had to be honest—it delighted him. Good to know that you were attracted to him. He certainly liked you.

Santa Carla was full of interesting people, alive, undead, or otherwise, so it was hard to catch his attention. But as soon as you started spouting off about mythical Chinese phoenixes, he was hooked. Yes, he was into birds, screw you, but he’d never heard that story before.

He supposed you could’ve been talking out of your ass but he didn’t get that vibe from what he had seen. Your eyes lit up when you talked about the image so he bet that you truly did admire it. Your voice was steady for the first time in the encounter, meaning that you were comfortable saying those things, had probably told them to other ears dozens of times.

So, yes, you could be making it up. If you were, he’d be the first to admire your skills. But you seemed too straight and narrow for that. After all, you were actually studying at work. What kind of person did that?

The tantalizing combination of authenticity and passion for your Eastern mythology made him want to talk to you again. That way he could pick your brains more and maybe, if he was lucky, make you stutter again. Still, he wasn’t going to walk back in there like a sap. Not after he just left.  

“Hey!”

His ears twitched and he finally got a look at the guy he’d been watching stagger down the sidewalk the entire time he’d been outside. He chose not to saying anything figuring the human would keep talking anyway, which he did.

“You get that food from here?” The human pointed to the restaurant with his thumb.

Marko nodded, biting on his thumb.

“These chinks, or japs, or whatever any good?”

Marko’s eyes that had been taking in the guy’s appearance the entire time paused in the bird pin he had on his cap. It was yellow orange. Similar shade to the fenghuang’s wings. He took his thumb out of his mouth, his slick fangs descending to bite into his bottom lip.  

The ass hadn’t even noticed, still talking and seemingly some kind of inebriated. Fine by Marko. He liked surprising people.

His clawed hand shot out faster than the human eye could track and plunged into the guy’s chest. A hole was torn clean through. The blood and heart organ felt warm and wet as it stuck to his fingers. “I don’t think you need to worry about that you prick.”

The hole was much more pronounced and blood began spilling out. In the light of the moon, the blood looked black instead of red. The about-to-be-dead offender’s jacket absorbed some of the liquid but the rate at which it poured out was too much for the fabric to soak it all up.  It wouldn’t be long until he was officially dead.

The shock registered late and by the time the human looked down, Marko had already pulled his hand out and was sucking at the blood. He laughed at the other’s confused expression. The last thing the guy saw was Marko giggling and playfully waving his fingers.

The corpse sagged to the ground and Marko wrenched it up by one of the arms. He must’ve used too much force because he heard the shoulder pop off out of its socket.

He shrugged, not really bothered. No one else was out on the streets at this time. Especially not during a weekday. Getting rid of the body would be easy. Strengthening his hold, he flew into the night sky to dump the body where it would never be found.

When he came back, the white bag of Chinese take-out was sitting exactly where he left it. Excellent. Bending down to rip off the receipt, he pinned his new yellow orange bird pin to it. There was a small speck of blood on the glossed paint near the small bird’s wing that he licked clean.

He didn’t mind scarring you, but he didn’t want you so freaked out that you went to the cops. That would make things a little messy and make David pissy.

Following his nose, he wandered over the car that smelled of you. A quick glance through the driver’s window showed a stack of other notebooks and…a ridiculously bedazzled charm dangling from the rear-view mirror. It made him raise his brow, but he decided he liked it.

Mythological creatures, bedazzled charms…he couldn’t wait to find out more about you.

He arranged the paper backed pin under the windshield wiper to keep it from falling or blowing away. Marko prided himself on giving gifts and he wished he could be there to see you find it, but he’d been gone long enough. The boys were already going to give him hell for it. And he was getting hungry, too.

Besides, he knew where you worked. He’d find you again when he had more time.

Revving the bike, he raced down the road, the plastic bag quivering where it hung from his handle bars.

---XXX---

“See you later, Auntie,” you called out. A bell jingled as you pushed the front door open. You weren’t used to working this late and were long past due for sleep.

“Bye bye, drive home safe,” she said in Cantonese, the gruffness failing to mask her fondness for you.

Being in the restaurant all night, the crisp air outside was a nice reprieve. You loved the food, you really did, but oil could be headache inducing after a while. There was a slight breeze, too, that refreshed you with its invisible caress.

Most of the other businesses in this area were closed by now, leaving the streets dim and vacant. Luckily, there was a streetlight by your car so you didn’t have to walk in the dark. There was no such thing as being too safe in Santa Carla.

You shifted your things so you could get the keys and stopped in your tracks when you noticed a small piece of paper on the windshield. You looked around, not seeing anything else out of the ordinary. Still, you couldn’t shake the wariness.

Was it a ticket? A threat? A piece of trash that just blew into the window?

Creeping forward, you recognized the smiley face you had drawn earlier. What the—? When you were close enough to snatch it, you realized there was something weighing down the corner of the flimsy paper. A pin.

You angled it toward the streetlight, unsure what it was. An orange, no, golden orange bird gleamed in the light. Its wings spread wide and were smooth under the pads of your fingers.

Warmth spread through your chest. There wasn’t a message on the receipt, but the smiley face gave it away. This could only have been from that customer with the curls and jacket. Had he been wearing it inside? You couldn’t remember.

Clutching the pin, you sat in the driver’s seat. The car ran idle for a bit and you fiddled with the back of the pin. There was plenty of space on your bare jacket to place it wherever you wished. With the delicate gift attached securely to the jacket, you backed out of the parking spot, a smile on your face the entire way home.

Hopefully, he stopped by again soon.

_______________

My first time writing for Marko! Thumbs up or thumbs down? 

Regardless, East Asian (and any) racism isn’t cool peeps. Let’s do better :) 

[pxppinmolly-archived]

I agree. The fandom tries to justify that dick brain shape bird demon action and make him seem like the innocent. I hate the fandom indulging themselves in those cheesy silly fanon fanart and instagram of Stolas crying while Stella is yelling at him or being all sweet daddy to Octavia.. they're not canon people! Stolas is the worse dad and a pervert who wants to get inside someone pants and take advantage of them.

HONESTLY ... Okay.

The fandom rlly uwu-fys Stolas ... So much.

You can like the guy while still acknowledging his faults, I will first pretense with this. OASDKIFJG

Like my GOD am I so tired of the fanon stol/itz shit ... Like Blitzo very much is NOT HAPPY with Stolas, and we are shown this MULTIPLE TIMES. Stolas doesn't consider Blitzo's feelings and only ever uses him for sexual gratification.

WHY do you think Blitzo was so fucking mad and upset at the end of ep 7 and wouldn't go in the house with Stolas? What has Stolas done to make him believe that he doesn't just want to fuck him and that's it? BLITZO was the one who ASKED STOLAS out on a date FIRST and BLITZO at this point DOESN'T EVEN HOLD ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR THE GUY.

Stolas has made no moves on Blitzo that AREN'T sexually predatory.

ON TOP of how he IS STILL obviously very classist and treats other Imps still as 'lower class', Blitzo is just special because ...? Who knows right now.

And then everyone wants to say how good a dad he is when ... He really isn't? KDFJ

Like episode 2 he was clearly not at all paying attention to Octavia's needs, or her wants. Octavia obviously holds some sort of negative feelings regarding Stolas considering her music choice and her general attitude ... And rightfully so when he wants to take her to a kiddie park she tells him straight up that she basically doesn't wanna go/doesn't harbor any good feelings about the place to go

But Stolas insists because it's the only thing he seems to remember Octavia liking and that was when she was a toddler.

AND THEN to top it off with the fact of him bringing along the guy he cheated on her mother with for NO OTHER REASON than to flirt with him and be all like uuwwuu saaave meee blitzy~~ teehee~! like mfer arent you here to spend time with your daughter. who is obviously upset and uncomfortable at all of this.

Lot of people focus and point out how much of a bad mom and absentee mom Stella seems to be, but that doesn't mean Stolas is a good dad either just because the bar is so low. LOASKDFJ

The only reason so far Blitzo is even doing the shit with Stolas is for a business transaction, which is something Stolas is seemingly holding over Blitzo's head as a means to get what he wants from a lower class hellborn.

LIKE MAN.

If you want a pathetic meow meow with familial issues and depression and is also a horny vulgar fuck while being a good dad to his daughter Blitzo is RIGHT fucking there.

Which, speaking of.

This fandom does the same thing the HS fandom has done with Vris/rezi, which honestly is funny now that I realize this.

Where they take the highly popular fanon fave and make them the focus of a ship and put all the apologism and like... uwu-fying onto them and their s/o is just an Accessory and isn't given much of any sort of the same respect at ALL let alone any besides sticking them with a couple core personality traits and stripping them of everything else.

People dtend to rlly portray and see Blitzo highly diff to how he is in canon w Stolas and so much of the art and comics I see is like... STOLAS ... and then Blitzo is there as his lil accessory that people can mold into the perfect little ship toy for their precious meow meow

Like the amount of depth and love and attention Stolas gets verses Blitzo is VERY overwhelmingly transparent, least from what I've seen. And it's a shame because Blitzo IS the one with the most and more deeper issues and backstory we've been given peppered in but everyone is so focused on the rich classisst asshole so like. OASDKIFJG