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thelifeofchuckmovie · 2 months ago

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When it comes to ending the world, Stephen King is a repeat offender. He has brought life as we know it to a brutal conclusion several times over the decades, usually highlighting the cruelty and desperation that erupts among the last to go. But his 2020 story “The Life of Chuck” uses doomsday to evoke some unlikely sentiments: Wistfulness. Gratitude. Even joy.

The idea of creating an apocalyptic version of It’s a Wonderful Life is what led filmmaker Mike Flanagan to call dibs on the rights to the novella more than four years ago. The breakdown of society, extinction-level natural disasters, and the disintegration of reality itself is explored through the lens of one relatively meek and mild accountant, played by Tom Hiddleston, whose memories and choices are mysteriously connected to these tribulations. Retirement posters congratulating him on “39 great years” pop up everywhere. But who is this guy? What job does he do (or did he used to do)? And why does it matter so much to the fate of the world? This apparent nobody named Chuck Krantz has lived larger than anyone thought possible.

Having explored King country before in 2017’s Gerald’s Game and 2019’s The Shining sequel Doctor Sleep, Flanagan got involved after reading an early copy of “Chuck” before it was published in the collection If It Bleeds. The Haunting of Hill House and Fall of the House of Usher creator produced the film independently, believing it might be too offbeat for risk-averse studios to greenlight. He even secured a waiver from the striking Hollywood guilds last year to move forward with the shoot while the rest of the industry was stuck in the work stoppage. Now he and Hiddleston are ready to reveal the finished version of The Life of Chuck as it heads to the upcoming Toronto International Film Festival, where it will screen for potential distributors.

Among the skeptics about this adaptation was King himself, according to Flanagan. “His initial responses to me were a little like, ‘Oh, okay. Yeah. If you think that’s a movie…,’” he says. “He did say several times that he thought it would be a challenge to get it supported through traditional means.”

King has now seen the finished movie and no longer has doubts. He described it to Vanity Fair as “a happiness machine.”

“Well, he’s written something very tender and very wise,” Hiddleston says. “I think there is a great wisdom in the soul of the story, which is that it takes courage to hold on to what is good in a world that feels like it’s falling apart.”

Flanagan hopes others see it that way too, although the overpowering dread that begins the story may be more immediately relatable. “I’ve heard it said that every generation feels a little like the world is ending at some point, [but] I still feel like it’s different for us,” the 46-year-old filmmaker says with a mordant laugh. “Institutions we took for granted as propping up our society are failing left and right. Our politics have degraded spectacularly. The sense that it’s breaking down, that the world is moving on, has been increasingly palpable. When I talk to my parents or members of older generations who have been through their own turbulent times, the thing that strikes me is that they’re like, ‘Oh yeah, this is really bad.’”

But…it’s not entirely bad. And that’s the underlying message of The Life of Chuck as its various mysteries play out. “There’s no sense of terror in the way that King drew it,” Flanagan says. “Even as the world feels as though it’s ending, people become introspective, they reach into their past for loves that have left their lives for one reason or another. Strangers engage in open and fearless communication.”

It’s an indie-film variation on the big-budget cataclysm story. “A disaster movie has people meeting the end while running from tidal waves, and this story has people sitting quietly holding hands looking at the stars,” Flanagan says.

The key to it all is Chuck himself, although he doesn’t turn up onscreen until the second segment of the three-act story, which plays out in reverse chronological order.

The beginning is actually the end, as the whole world circles the drain. Caught in this spiral is Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave), a school teacher trying to apply logic to the planet’s troubles; Karen Gillan (Guardians of the Galaxy) is his ex, a hospital worker determined to save everyone she can; Matthew Lillard (Scream) is a construction worker neighbor who finds zen amid the chaos; and Carl Lumbly (Alias), plays a funeral director who has dedicated his life to easing people through death.

The end of the movie is actually the beginning, showing young Chuck (Benjamin Pajak) when he was a boy being raised by his grandparents (Mia Sara of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Mark Hamill). The insight of these two—coupled with the otherworldly revelations he finds in an eerie room tucked into the peak of their Victorian home—help him learn to seek out bright spots when life is marred by sorrow and darkness.

In elementary school, young Chuck discovers some important things about himself thanks to guidance from a brusque dance instructor (Samantha Sloyan), and a kindhearted English teacher, played by Kate Siegel, who gives the boy (not to mention the audience) some important information that serves as a code breaker for the story's more cosmic puzzles.

As for the middle of the film: It’s a dance number. That’s when Hiddleston steps in.

Compounding the peculiarity of The Life of Chuck is the question: Why is this song and dance sequence so important? The answer is for the movie to reveal, but it matters a lot. “The life of every human being is a constellation, as expressed in this film,” Hiddleston says. “There are certain moments which will burn most brightly as individual stars. Sometimes it feels like the world is going to hell in a handcart, and it’s full of pain and suffering, and it is—but there are moments of deep joy and deep connection.”

Hiddleston shows the audience this single moment in the life of a buttoned-up fellow who somehow controls the destiny of the world. It’s not necessarily the most important day in his life, but it’s a memorable one involving a street drummer (Taylor Gordon), a lovely stranger (played by Annalise Basso), and a fateful decision to cast aside caution and cut a rug. “It’s a reminder to do whatever it is that expresses whatever gives you that feeling of being alive,” Hiddleston says. “Whether it’s music or dancing or math or writing or creativity—do it. Do it now. Those moments are what you’ll remember.”

Flanagan considered casting a relative unknown as Chuck to “give the audience the experience of ‘Who the hell is this person?’” as the peculiar retirement signs begin to appear in the midst of the apocalypse. But he felt the promise of the Loki star would build more curiosity as the world falls apart. “You grow an enormous amount of anticipation to finally spend time with an actor like Tom, who can be a literal god in one story, and then an everyman in another,” Flanagan says.

A TikTok video of Hiddleston getting his groove on sealed the deal. “He had a completely unfiltered joy on his face,” Flanagan says. “He was a good dancer, but that wasn’t what struck me. I wasn’t amazed by the technique so much as the degree of happiness that was radiating off of him. The look on his face made me smile the same way I smiled reading that particular portion of the book.”

The resulting scene was created in a month-long collaboration between Flanagan, Hiddleston, Basso, choreographer Mandy Moore (So You Think You Can Dance, and La La Land), and Gordon, a real-life percussionist who performs under the name the Pocket Queen. “Taylor was there for all of the dance choreography. She wrote that piece of music for that performance. They built it together,” Flanagan says.

Hiddleston rattles off the lists of influences: “I had to learn in six weeks the full regime of any dance training. We did jazz, swing, salsa, cha-cha, the Charleston, bossa nova, polka, quickstep, samba. We were trying to tip our hat to anything that might have influenced Chuck. It might’ve had a bit of Gene Kelly or Fred and Ginger. Certainly moonwalking—Stephen King is very specific about the moonwalk.”

Precision was not the goal, exuberance was what they sought. “We need to always bear in mind that this man is an accountant. We needed this to be an earnest, escalating explosion of joy, and a remembrance of who he was,” Flanagan says. “It’s a chance to step back into the skin of his younger self, not caring that his feet are going to kill him the next day, not caring that he’s going to wake up with a horribly stiff neck.”

A surprising thing happened while shooting the scene over the course of several sweltering afternoons in the deep South. “I burned holes in my shoes,” Hiddleston says. “I was dancing out on the asphalt in Alabama, and by the time we’d finished, you could see my socks through the soles.”

The sequence begins awkwardly: Chuck is self-conscious as he first hears the busker’s rhythm while walking back from a banking conference. That feeling quickly gets shaken off. “Tom was very committed,” Flanagan says. “He was like, ‘If I look silly, that’s fine. As long as I look happy.’”

Flanagan remembers being in a bad place when he first discovered “The Life of Chuck.” Then again, everybody was.

His copy of the manuscript arrived in March 2020. “That was just as the world shut down for COVID,” he says. “We had been a week away from starting principal photography on Midnight Mass in Vancouver and had fled across the border before it closed to make it back to the States. We were hunkered down in our homes and had no idea if this was going to last for two weeks or if this was going to last forever.”

With everything halted as the lockdown set in, Flanagan had plenty of time to do nothing but read. The new King book seemed like the perfect escape. Except…

“The first third of ‘The Life of Chuck’ just rattled me,” he recalls. “There’s no way he wrote this before the world ground to this bizarre halt—but he did. And the feeling of anxiety, and uncertainty, and that everything was falling apart came roaring out at me. I wasn’t sure I could finish it. It just felt too close to the anxiety I was feeling.” But he kept turning the pages. “By the end of it, I was in tears, and incredibly uplifted, and convinced I’d read maybe the best thing that he’d written in a decade. I just was floored by the thing,” Flanagan says. “So I fired off an email to him right away saying how much I loved the story, how incredible I thought it was, how meaningful, and important, and how it had really tattooed itself on my heart and said, ‘It’s the movie I want to make so that it’ll exist in the world for my kids.’”

King’s response: Not so fast. Flanagan and his producing partner, Trevor Macy, had at that point secured the rights to King’s fantasy saga The Dark Tower through their company, Intrepid Pictures. The eight-book series is threaded throughout King’s other works, and adapting it was a massive undertaking that Flanagan is still working to make happen. Other filmmakers had either abandoned the project, were canceled midway through, or bombed miserably. The author didn’t want him to be distracted. “He doesn’t like to give the same filmmaker more than one thing, because it typically means one thing is not advancing at all,” Flanagan says. “He said, ‘Well, let’s focus on The Tower and I’ll try to keep this one available for you for later.’”

The quest to The Dark Tower remains a priority for Flanagan, but a number of disruptions to that epic undertaking led him to reapproach King last year about Chuck. Intrepid’s deal with Netflix, where they had created Hill House, The Haunting of Bly Manor, and other shows, had come to a close, and Intrepid signed a new development agreement with Amazon. That meant starting over on The Dark Tower. Meanwhile, the threat of a double-barreled strike by writers and actors was on the horizon, stalling nearly every major new project. The industry plunged into another production-halting lockdown, this time over contract impasses rather than a virus.

Since The Dark Tower was suddenly further off on the horizon, Flanagan saw a chance to make The Life of Chuck happen in the short term. “It’s so rare that I get to approach any project that just has not an ounce of cynicism to it. I just really believed in this thing,” he says. “But it was also clear that we would have an incredibly uphill battle bringing the story to any major studio. They would try to make it as familiar as possible, instead of leaning into what makes it so different.”

King gave Flanagan his blessing to proceed. “I was off like a shot,” the filmmaker says. “I think I turned in the draft to him before he got around to sending the formal agreement.”

For everyone involved, The Life of Chuck became a bright spot in an otherwise dismal time, which matches the theme of the film. “There is a profound optimism in this story,” Hiddleston says. “As the world is spinning off its axis, there are moments of magic.”

#the life of chuck #tom hiddleston #mark hamill #karen gillan #chiwetel ejiofor #jacob tremblay #kate siegel #mike flanagan #carl lumbly

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bomberqueen17 · 2 months ago

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liveblogging the aubreyad 1: Master & Commander

ok so. i'm going to liveblog my reread of the Patrick O'Brian Jack Aubrey series of books, in potentially more or less detail, because it's something to do and it's funny. Starting with book 1, Master & Commander, copyright date 1969, which I definitely first read in like 1991 when I was waaaaay too young to understand approximately half the references. There will be spoilers. There may or may not be an accurate representation of the entire contents of the series. We'll see how long I keep this up. I wish I could write it in the entertaining style of my Wee Precious Flower Prince Geralt Witcher 3 playthroughs of yore but those were written under 1) quarantine confinement, 2) incredible amounts of gin, 3) after collaborative sessions, and I just can't make that happen solo.

But I will do my poor, reduced, older and more sedate best. I promise that while these books are not quite as dramatically crack-addled as Witcher 3, they are weirder than you think, which is critical.

OK so. We start off swinging with the meet-ugly. In fair Port Mahon we lay our scene, in the year 1800 (or 1801?? we also start off swinging with never quite having the tiny details quite laid down), we meet our fair hero Jack Aubrey, a six-foot, well-built, yellow-haired lieutenant in the Royal Navy, a cheerful high-spirited cove who immediately pisses off the unpleasant little man sitting next to him at this chamber music concert by singing along to the music. Relatable reaction by the unpleasant little man, to be sure. Aubrey is having a bad time, though— he has not been promoted and he doesn’t have a ship so he has nothing to do but get in trouble, and his spirits are too low to get into a fight with the unpleasant little man, though he briefly considers it. We soon find out that the sole bright spot in Jack's life is that he's fucking his boss’s wife, which seems like a bad idea but who are we to judge. But lo! He gets back to the inn where he’s staying only to find a letter informing him that he has been promoted! He is now the master and commander of his very own ship, which we are informed is a sloop. Also throwing us into the deep end of Listen Baby It’s Just Vibes. The nautical language and technical shit comes fast and thick and if you just sort of roll with it you figure it out. Don’t Worry About It. There Will Be Context Clues.

Now that Jack is professionally fulfilled he is happy, and so the next morning when he happens to see his unpleasant little man from the previous night, he shows his true colors: he immediately bounds across the street and wholeheartedly, unreservedly apologizes for being a dipshit, like the golden retriever he really is at heart. The unpleasant little man is so shocked by this that he loses all his unpleasantness, has a really nice conversation with Jack, and immediately gets distracted by the sighting of a rare bird. Stephen Maturin is now successfully introduced, exactly as he means to go on as well. He is a physician, but his patient died and he's stuck without money to get home, literally sleeping rough because no one will answer his letters and he's out of cash. Jack meanwhile has a ship with no surgeon on it, and a vacancy, and they like one another, so it seems a simple solution. And so Stephen shall go to sea.

I suppose, really, that’s the genius of this series. The characters are round, complicated creatures, with obvious and consistent surface qualities but also equally consistent, apparently-contradictory, deeper qualities. Even minor characters sometimes possess this level of depth. Even the cartoony-awful little shit Harte (sometime captain, then admiral, the boss whose wife Jack has been fucking but in Jack's defense so is everybody else) has depths. Unpleasant depths, but he's got reasons and motivations and you do really believe in him; this pays off in book 8 in particular.

We meet Jack's first command, the Sophie, the loveliest tiniest little ship ever, staffed by a pack of utter weirdos. TOM PULLINGS makes his first appearance (he is my favorite supporting character throughout the series, so he will be capitalized henceforth) along with his delightful henchman (the other senior midshipman) Mowett who is James in his first and last appearances and most of the others but for some reason becomes William for a while in the middle, most notably in book 8, and has thus passed into the movie as William. Those are our master's mates, or senior midshipmen. In O'Brian's typical fashion we don't get really concrete physical descriptions of them in the normal sense, but instead get really evocative but nonspecific ones. TOM PULLINGS is "a big shy master's mate", elsewhere specified to be sort of gangly, long and thin, young, with a country accent and foremast-jack antecedents (i.e. started out as a regular sailor and was promoted, instead of the more normal approach where a family of means sends a son to sea as a midshipman), who absolutely blossoms under Jack Aubrey's leadership-by-enthusiastic-example, and we will see him through most of the rest of the series continuing on this trajectory with great competence and charming humbleness.

James Mowett gets a great introduction. He's had a few lines prior to this, mostly repetitively described as (and shown to be) cheerful and generally enthusiastic about things, running around and getting to be the one to fetch Stephen from the shore, and later we find out that he is a prolific writer of somewhat-terrible poetry, which we'll get plenty of excerpts of over the course of the series. But his first real description is:

“James Mowett was a tubular young man, getting on for twenty; he was dressed in old sailcoth trousers and a striped Guernsey shirt, a knitted garment that gave him very much the look of a caterpillar."

There are also the youngsters. Meet my beloved son William Babbington, a miniature midshipman of between eleven and thirteen who has every venereal disease and gets drunk a lot. He also cries and swears a whole lot, mostly while sober. I love him immoderately and we will see him in several more of the books. He never gets much taller or less obsessed with womanizing. Adolescence was hard in the Georgian era. (Yes, this is the Georgian era; the Victorian era does not begin for another thirty years.)

“'I suppose you grow used to living here,' [Stephen] observed, rising cautiously to his feet. 'At first it must seem a little confined.' 'Oh, sir,' said Mowett, 'think not meanly of this humble seat, Whence spring the guardians 'of the British fleet! Revere the sacred spot, however low, Which formed to martial acts an Hawke! An Howe !' 'Pay no attention to him, sir,' cried Babbington, anxiously. 'He means no disrespect, I do assure you, sir. It is only his disgusting way.”

Throughout this series, O'Brian so so so vividly shows and describes the many phases of awkwardness that young men go through especially in military settings. It's incredibly vivid; the breaking voices, the smells, the idiotic capers, the weeping, the complete lack of foresight, the incredible cruelty and also loyalty and bravery, the sheer adolescent enthusiasm coupled with shocking laziness.

We also get some insight into contemporary social mores through the introduction of Marshall, the sailing master (a warrant officer)-- 1) he's gay and 2) Jack Aubrey is extremely his type. Different people's different attitudes toward this unspool throughout various points of the book, but the critical point is that Jack Aubrey himself has absolutely zero gaydar and while he has heard the rumor about Marshall's tendencies, he doesn't care about that stuff, studiously avoids enforcing any of the regulations against it, and he absolutely never at any point relates this to himself, and never ever realizes why the man is so driven to excel at his job. Not even when an injury to his head and face gives Jack a horrible haircut and worse appearance, and Marshall is horrified and dispirited about it; Jack never twigs just what's amiss.

To be fair to Jack, many many many of the men aboard also respond to him in a similar, though crucially different, way. This is a common thing in this kind of cooped-up little setting; you have a guy who's in charge and gives you positive feedback and like, immediately you'll die for that guy, which is kind of how the military works because you may in fact have to literally die for that guy and it's easier if you're intrinsically motivated in some way. And Jack is very, very good at this in most cases, at taking the measure of the people under his command and getting them to respond to him.

(We can return to Mowett for an explicit example: “'You may light up the sloop, Mr Mowett, and show her our force: I don't want her to do anything foolish, such as firing a gun - perhaps hurting some of our people. Let me know when you have laid her aboard.' With this [Jack] retired, calling for a light and something hot to drink; and from his cabin he heard Mowett's voice, cracked and squeaking with the excitement of this prodigious command (he would happily have died for Jack), as under his orders the Sophie bore up and spread her wings.”)

Anyway so back to the plot summary: a very good side plot throughout is that the ship's first lieutenant, James Dillon, is an Irishman, and he and Stephen Maturin were both involved in the Irish rebellion in 1798. When they meet, James recognizes Stephen, and cautiously sounds him out about having met before, and Stephen very coolly replies we've never met but you must be thinking of my cousin who looks just like me but uglier, *so* ugly, he has the face of an informer, and everyone hates an informer and james is like Ah. You Are Absolutely Correct Sir We Have Never Met. This subplot develops into a delicious meditation on divided loyalties and the agony of staying true to oneself while doing what one must do. Highly recommended, A++. Begins to give us some insight into the various depths of Stephen, who doesn't understand tides or wind and hasn't the sense to come in out of the rain but has a deep and complicated history and identity and above all an incredible capacity for ruthlessness, absolutely none of which Jack understands.

Stephen and James in dialogue when they're finally in privacy enough to discuss it (Stephen is the first speaker, James the second):

“I speak only for myself, mind - it is my own truth alone - but man as part of a movement or a crowd is indifferent to me. He is inhuman. And I have nothing to do with nations, or nationalism. The only feelings I have -for what they are - are for men as individuals; my loyalties, such as they may be, are to private persons alone.'' "Patriotism will not do?'' "My dear creature, I have done with all debate. But you know as well as I, patriotism is a word; and one that generally comes to mean either my country, right or wrong, which is infamous, or my country is always right, which is imbecile." ''Yet you stopped Captain Aubrey playing Croppies Lie Down the other day.” "Oh, I am not consistent, of course; particularly in little things. Who is? He did not know the meaning of the tune, you know. He has never been in Ireland at all, and he was in the West Indies at the time of the rising. [...] But as for that song, I acted as I did partly because it is disagreeable to me to listen to it and partly because there were several Irish sailors within hearing, and not one of them an Orangeman; and it would be a pity to have them hate him when nothing in the manner of insult was within his mind's reach.”

uhhhhhhh but meanwhile: Jack Aubrey and the Sophies wreak havoc in the Mediterranean and make a lot of money and enemies, to the point that the local merchants band together to commission a fairly serious ship expressly to fuck them up. They meet this ship unsuspectingly, manage just in time to disguise themselves, and Stephen hails the ship and asks them in bad Spanish if they know anything about treating the plague, could they send a doctor over, could they spare any medicine. This scares them off and they go away. But now the Sophies know what this ship looks like and what armament it has. So the next time they meet it, they fight it, and so the tiny 14-gun Sophie with 82 men and boys aboard manages to capture the 32-gun Cacafuego with 319 men aboard, and it's very gallant and dashing and probably should not have worked, but it does.

And a little later, the Sophie accidentally meets a pair of very powerful French ships and gets taken in return despite doing some really heroic evasive manoevers.

The French are super nice to them, and we meet a French ship captain named Christy-Palliere who becomes a recurring character, who has English cousins and speaks great English and is both charming and nice, saying things like gather ye rose pods while ye may and being generally gallant. Until some even more powerful English ships heave into view, and the tables turn, but even then Christy-Palliere remains gallant and well-behaved.

We end the book with the court-martial. Any officer who loses his ship for any reason has to go before a court of sea captains to ascertain whether he did everything in his power to avoid losing his ship. So all the officers of the Sophie, including the midshipmen, including the surgeon, have to testify about this. (I feel like the other warrant officers should also have had to testify? but they weren't there and i'm not sure why. TOM PULLINGS is also not mentioned in the scene which he absolutely should be present for, so it's possible that they were just omitted for time.)

“They had each received an official notification the day before, and for some reason each had brought it with him, folded or rolled. After a while Babbington and Ricketts took to changing all the words they could into obscenities, secretly in a corner, while Mowett wrote and scratched out on the back of his, counting syllables on his fingers and silently mouthing. Lucock stared straight ahead of him into vacancy.”

Spoiler: the jury decides that there's not really anything more a 14-gun sloop could have done against two French ships of the line, so they exonerate Captain Aubrey for the loss of his sloop, and thus ends the book.

#aubreyad #stephen maturin #jack aubrey #TOM PULLINGS #liveblogging the aubreyad

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danieyells · 5 months ago

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hai again :3 idk if youve already done him but can you do tohmas voicelines? he is sooo interesting i, once again, want to study him

Tohma is one of the I think two characters I haven't been asked to do yet!! I think he wouldn't appreciate you studying him either, anon, but I think he'd be willing to let you studying him becuase he didn't think you could actually succeed. . .but if you did, he'd have other uses for you lol

ANYWAY VOICELINES his are. Pretty expected in their nature lol he's like ritsu in that you will never see this man sweat.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"Well, hello there—I've been expecting you. May I ask for your assistance with something?"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Seems you have some mail. There could be some helpful information in there."

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"What do you mean? I lend a sympathetic ear to those in need—that's all."

"Honestly. This academy has far more than its fair share of loose cannons, wouldn't you agree?"

"I'm no more than a servant. Frostheim is ruled by a king, you see."

"I hope you'll join us for a party some time."

"No need to be nervous. I've nothing but the noblest of intentions."

normal people don't need to say things like this. you see why i feel like it's too obvious that he's shady! he comes out the gate with this shit!

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"An orderly life and a well-managed schedule are the key to keeping one's self fit and healthy."

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"How delightful... It seems our king's peaceful slumber has yet to be disturbed."

look at how annoyed he looks lmao He'd love to slam Jin's door open and yell WAKE THE FUCK UP BITCH

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Is that everything? I'm afraid there are several matters I must attend to."

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Please excuse me. There's a small matter I must attend to. No, it's nothing serious. Of course I'm being honest—whatever do you mean?"

yeah your affinity is too low for me to think you're honest. LET US IN.

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Look at you, you're trembling. You must have had quite a frightening encounter. You poor thing."

considering what time this can happen maybe some anomaly was lurking in the darkness and scared you?

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Providing this level of assistance goes without saying. Only once you can do so without instruction can you call yourself qualified."

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"So this is where you've been idling your time away. Our captain is waiting for you."

stop trying to hide you are a servant and your king demands your services.

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Honestly. If he'd just take action, everything would be resolved instantaneously."

(In case there's any doubt, "he" is specifically referring to Jin--in Japanese he says "Dorm Leader". I wonder if this relates to the spy situation or the Institute. . .or something else entirely--)

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"This conversation never happened. Understand?"

Either he needs someone to believe he wasn't here or he told you something ~Secret~

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"An appropriate amount of sleep is essential to maintaining your physical and mental health, you know."

he's very worried about your health. . .as has been pointed out, perhaps because his own isn't stable. . . .

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Honestly. The second years have been making quite the racket this morning."

KAITO AND LUCA ARE HAVING FUN LET THEM HAVE FUN

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"I tend to eat lightly at lunch time. Would you like some? Don't worry—I assure you, it's not poisoned."

WHO SAYS THAT IF IT ISN'T POISONED. IT'S YOUR FOOD WE KNOW YOU WEREN'T POISONING YOURSELF. . .PROBABLY. . .COULD BE MICRODOSING POISON TO YOURSELF FOR IMMUNITY REASONS.

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Seems you've become involved in a difficult situation. How do I know? I just happened to overhear, that's all."

WHICH DIFFICULT SITUATION. THERE ARE SEVERAL. IT FEELS LIKE THERE ARE MORE EVERY DAY.

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"It appears we're in for another full day."

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Good morning. Would you like to start the day with a cup of tea?"

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"How about a game of chess to aid with digestion? I'm a patient teacher. I can show you how to win—against opponents other than myself, of course."

how would that help with. . .don't you usually have to exercise for. . .well I'm glad he's a patient teacher even if he won't teach you to beat him lol good strategy, make you a powerful ally.

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Good health is the greatest treasure. You shouldn't push yourself too hard. Good night—I'll finish up here."

He wants you to take care of yourself. . .so he'll do the hard work when it's time for you to rest. He wouldn't want something bad to happen to you because you were unwell.

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I always achieve my goals—using any means necessary. That goes without saying, don't you think?"

why restrict your means if you truly wish to fulfill your goal? Others use you for their means, so why not do the same yourself? If your ends are truly good perhaps the means aught not to matter so much.

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Please don't overexert yourself. There are many people here who need you."

that may sound like a reason to overexert yourself, but if you overdo it you won't be able to help anybody. You have to help yourself if you want to help anybody else. There's no shame in that.

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Take care not to overdo it today. You may insist you're fine—perhaps you even believe it—but I can tell at a glance that you're fatigued."

he's worried about you. Maybe it doesn't sound that way, but he wants to make sure you're well. He can tell you're wearing down before you can. He has an eye for others, that's all. Also maybe it's just me but he mentions health and wellness so much I can't help but wonder if he's had some sort of health problem in the past, or maybe Jin or someone else he knows and cares for. Also, hilarious that speaks to highly of caring for one's health when he smokes.

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Inexperience is not a crime. The important thing is choosing not to remain ignorant when you don't know something."

knowledge is in fact power

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Errant and Fuji lack polish, but they've got potential. They're sincere, and that's what counts."

he really looks at them and says "those're my boys. my loud annoying sons."

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Welcome to high society. That outfit suits you well. With that poise, you'll have no trouble fitting in here."

he dressed you up and brought you to a party because he likes and trusts you and wants to be seen with you. . .get used to the high life, he'd like to keep you in it as long as possible.

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Forgetting about everything I've got to do and be, just for a night every once in a while... It's not a bad feeling."

no titles, no images, no fronts, and no lies. no manipulation. no doing somebody else's job--no doing any job. Just. . .time for himself. And, presumably, someone he loves very much. I think he's earned that kind of break. Does this sound like you're about to fuck to anybody else--

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"In times of difficulty, I hope you'll turn to those around you for help. I will be there to keep you safe."

Don't be like him and take so much upon yourself. . .rely on others. Ask for help! Find your people. Support each other. Don't try and go at it alone. It's okay to be united with your community. He is one of your people too, of course. Rely on him and he will keep you from harm. He's quite sweet, isn't he?

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"That was quite the yawn. No need to apologize. Who wouldn't want to take a nap in this pleasant spring weather?"

(between 11am and 4pm)

"I once heard a poem that went, "In spring, one sleeps a sleep that knows no dawn." I'm sorry to inform you dawn must come eventually, Captain."

translation: 'WAKE THE FUCK UP JIN. IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY BITCH.'

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"With every advent of spring comes a wealth of gleaming new foliage and a pleasant breeze. I still find it moving each year."

reminds me of that if you ask Tohma what his hobbies are in his character story chat he says he likes being out in nature and taking walks. . .which also reminds me that Alan likes camping. I bet they used to go camping together all the time.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"The blossoms of spring fall so quickly. Though beautiful, there is something almost brutal in their brevity."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Ha ha. My apologies. Your face is so flushed I couldn't help myself."

'lol you're so sweaty you look like a wet rat'

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Sweltering days like this make me sincerely grateful to be in Frostheim."

i wonder how hot it was in the vagastrom garage in the summer. probably sucked ass in there. and smelt like big sweaty dudes.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Would you care to enjoy the evening cool here with me?"

(between 8pm and 5am)

"If the heat becomes to much for you, please feel free to come visit us in Frostheim any time."

inviting them to frostheim late at night? how scandalous. . . .

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Pleasant days like this make me want to go on a trip somewhere far away."

i mean if anyone could get away with it it's definitely you. darkwick trusts you enough.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Tea enjoyed while appreciating the colors of the fall leaves has a unique charm."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The early dusks in the fall can take one by surprise. Be sure to stay alert when walking in the dark."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"There is nothing better than a book to while away the long fall nights. My eyes are rather tired though... Perhaps some exercise will be a good change of pace."

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"I thought Frostheim had gotten me used to cold weather, but I suppose this is what they mean when they say "chilled to the bone.""

my god he's admitting weakness. someone call the papers.

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Even the cold weather doesn't seem to deter the second years from gallivanting about... Rather charming, isn't it? In the way barnyard animals are."

my noisy sons who play in the snow like puppies

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'll take my leave earlier this evening. The nights are getting colder, after all. And there's a small matter I'd like to look into."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Haven't you had your fill of winter scenery after frequenting Frostheim? Ha ha. You truly are a strange one."

His birthday: (May 31st)

"Thank you for putting together such a wonderful celebration for me. Oh? You've even gotten me a gift..."

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday. Perhaps it was a little presumptuous of me, but I've prepared a gift for you... Come now. There's no need to be so formal."

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year, {PC}. I expect you will help bring Frostheim to even greater heights this year."

why? are they being promoted to fuckin captain of frostheim or something now? tf?

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"Oh my, is this for me? How kind of you. I very much look forward to finding out what's inside."

White Day: (March 14th)

"I ordered you these sweets from a famous confectionery in Asakusa. Hopefully they suit your tastes."

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"What I wouldn't give to knock that bastard Jin's head off... Oh come now, what's that face? I'm joking, of course."

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Trick or treat. Oh? So you prefer tricks... Interesting."

what do you think he's dressed as? Oh no you didn't have any treats for him. . .be worried about what's coming i guess

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas. We'll be holding a party in Frostheim later. Would you care to join us?"

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Ignoring me, are you? You've certainly got guts."

(13 affinity and above)

"If something is concerning you, perhaps I could lend an ear. There may be something I can do to help."

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"I've no interest in hearing your excuses. I suppose I'll need to be stricter with you going forward—I hope you've come prepared."

much like Jin. . .he believes you'll need to be retrained. Bad servant. Time to be reminded of your place.

IT FEELS LIKE HIS ARE VERY LOW KEY. He's secretive about his interests and so very busy as Jin's servant, it feels like they don't share much about him. . .hopefully we'll get more study opportunities, anon. I wonder if this makes his intentions seem more or less clear/honest for some? It could really go either way lol. WHAT REALLY GETS ME IS THE "just one night to not have to think about who i am and what i have to do is nice" ONE TBH. . .like he really works so hard trying to play every side for the outcome he wants. he works so hard keeping frostheim in order. no real hints to what his goals are, just that he acknowledges that he will do whatever it takes to reach them. Makes you wonder, but we probably won't learn anything for a long while haha

#tohma ishibashi #tokyo debunker spoilers #tokyo debunker #danie yells at tokyo debunker #danie yells with anons #danie yells answers #ONLY ONE MORE CHARACTER TO GO #until they put in ed and lyc anyway

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fluffyfantasticducky · 2 years ago

Text

Mischievous Matching

☆ Pairing: Loki x Mutant!Reader

☆ Synopsis: Loki is a trouble maker, always one to cause trouble, but he meets a mortal that is even worse than him and he finds himself absolutely powerless and victim of your stupid outdated pranks, but he finds himself to be putty in your hands.

☆ Word Count: 7,656 (good thing I didn't know what to do with this prompt, eh? This is just the second longest fic I've done.)

☆ Notes: My first request! Yay! 🥳Loki is a smitten little lee. I'm really bad at doing pranks so I did the worst and oldest pranks I remembered, because it's funny Loki not growing up on earth wouldn't know any of them. Also, it's not said outright, but in case of doubt the reader's mutation is super-elasticity because guess who started watching One Piece 👒🏴‍☠️.

☆ Warnings: Very bad and outdated pranks, other than that it's just pure fluff and flirting.

Loki thought he was smug. He had always been the smart brother, growing up constantly tricking an entire realm of Gods and Goddesses, he was very little used to people being smarter than him. Of course, he knew a couple of them existed, his mother was one he could never lie to. Odin more often than others saw through his deception and caught him playing pranks on Thor. But when you grow up in a Realm that values more your physical strength and at most your ability to come with war strategies… You come to believe you’re bound to become complacent, and it becomes a matter until… well, what always happens.

Loki would’ve never expected his match would come from Earth. Quite frankly, he had expected humans would always stay the same, kind of like Asgardians did. But they didn’t. Humans (for the most part at least) didn’t have magic or supernatural skills, so they chose to be inventive, they created modern civilizations purely thanks to the fact that humans chose to play smarter.

He wouldn’t admit it, now that Asgard settled on Midgard, and he got to see what humans did with technology… it was sort of admirable how much they had made purely with ingenuity. Only a bit.

There was Stark, who had made a technological empire and entire armies just with just machines, humans like the sanctuary where Strange lived or the Maximoff girl that had learned magic despite their incompatibility with it, or the bug hero’s mentor that figured a way to alter the size of matter itself. Not to mention the Avengers had managed to take him down, a God his ancestors used to venerate without question.

Perhaps some humans were in fact, formidable.

Still Loki could get away with a ridiculous number of things simply because a lot of humans were just that gullible. His illusions had already started wreaking havoc in small towns where his illusions had turned into rumors of what he learned humans called UFOs… although, to be completely fair, he was, by definition, an alien.

But the true meaning of formidable he found in you.

He met you one night he was allowed to visit New York and he decided to mess with passerby Midgardians. He simply sat on a bench of the park casted the illusion of a Ratatoskr and let humans do their thing. Truth to be told, while the creature wasn’t necessarily scary, it was gonna be interesting when the young ones noticed a talking squirrel and he saw some children excitedly trying to catch it, which may or may not have been actually endearing. But the real fun came when the parents became hysterical. Chaos ensued and Loki couldn’t hide a smile.

“That’s yours, isn’t it?” a voice asked, and you sat beside him.

He looked at you perplexed.

“It’s just… it kinda sticks out that you seem even more amused than the actual children playing with that. It’s supposed to be Ratatoskr, right?”

He didn’t expect anyone to notice, he had sat at enough distance that he couldn’t be related to what was going on, and he had a book on his hands so no one would relate his amusement to what’s going on.

The illusion vanished as he lost focus, surprised that you noticed him. He couldn’t hold back a soft laugh through his breath when a woman in her middle age let out a screech threatening to call the cops on an invisible talking squirrel. And to his surprise you laughed too.

“Man, I enjoy seeing your everyday soccer mom lose her marbles at whatever, but actively seeking their wrath takes courage.” You laughed.

You stretched out your hand and introduced yourself with a firm handshake which Loki surprised himself returning and giving away his actual name.

“W-Wait… like the Loki, Thor’s little brother… The Asgardian that… you know… over a decade ago did… you know?” you asked perplexed, not daring to say the actual thing.

Loki tense up, not knowing how you’d act next. For all he knows maybe the police force would end up showing up after all.

“Damn, so what they say is true” you shrugged. “You are a softie now.”

“What they say?” Loki gasped out indignant.

“Yeah, it was over the news a bit after the second snap, Ironman and your brother gave a press conference to explain you were in peace with Earth and it was Thanos’ brainwash.” You explained as a cheeky grin formed on your face. “Ergo, you are a softie.”

Loki was speechless. You knew who he was, you knew what he had done to New York, and yet you were poking the bear with a stick without an ounce of fear in your expression.

“Listen well, mortal, I–” Loki huffed.

“Pfft! I didn’t know Gods blushed.” You laughed heartedly.

“Hang on just a minute!” Loki protested as he became aware of the heat on his cheeks “I am–”

“Surprisingly fun to be around.”

He opened his mouth and closed it again as he found himself with no witty retort for your teasing.

“Thank you, I suppose” was all he could say, with less spite than he usually had when he spoke with mortals.

“I was gonna go grab a bite, wanna join? It’s a bit boring eating alone” you offered.

His stomach growled and he took the offer, partly because he was very hungry and both you had caught his curiosity. You were an odd one, that was for sure.

“So…” you wondered. “Is it true you’re staying with the Avengers?”

“Why do you wanna know?” he asked back.

“Curiosity” you smiled.

A question like that could’ve easily triggered an alarm, but for some reason it didn’t. And you didn’t lie.

“Yes, my brother decided to join the quarters to live with his friends and he took me with him” Loki admitted.

“Took you with him? Like an updog?” you arched an eyebrow in a way that made him feel slightly sheepish.

“Excuse me? What’s that?”

“What’s what?”

“Updog.”

“What about it?”

“What is updog?”

“Not much, what’s up with you?” you wheezed before letting out a dorky laugh.

Despite the fact that the All-Speak did not allow him to understand a place’s lingo he understood he had fallen for a stupid Midgardian joke.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I had to try, oh… oh god, I hadn’t met a anyone who didn’t know that one yet, but I had to try. I like you already.”

Now he was convinced, you were definitely an odd one. Not only did you not fear him, but you were bold enough to pull practical jokes on him and teased him for falling for it. It got on his nerves.

But he couldn’t help but follow you around. You kept teasing him the entire trip to a sandwich shop.

“What do you want to eat?” you smiled.

Loki stared awkwardly at the menu, he recognized some of the ingredients, but he had never been to a place like this. And he wasn’t used enough to human food to make an informed choice.

So, you stepped up and asked him a couple of questions about the food he liked and made a choice for him.

“You can punch me in the arm if it’s not good” you winked at him.

Loki surprised himself smiling at you.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

But it was really good. It wasn’t anywhere near as refined as what he was used to eat, but it was surprisingly good. And you even paid for his food, which spared him the uncomfortable conversation over why he had no money despite leaving in a millionaire’s house.

“Hey, I live a bit far away, do you mind accompanying me home?”

Loki wasn’t sure why he accepted, but he found himself following you around, risking getting lost in New York City since he didn’t really know the area that well just yet. But he got on the bus with you and followed you home.

Which to his surprise… was the compound he himself lived in.

“Wait… D-Did you…?”

Loki felt betrayed. Of course. He should have known Stark would send an agent to find him, no one really trusted him, and they had to assign him a nanny to make sure he–

“I’m glad I ran into you” You spoke, interrupting his train of thought. “I still feel anxious coming so far out of the city alone, sorry if I cut your trip short.”

That caught him off guard. Were you not follow him? He didn’t sense a lie, but perhaps he was still a bit distracted.

“You mean you found me by accident?” Loki asked.

“Yeah, I’m not used to the headquarters being a home, so I need to get out to stretch my legs every once in a while. Otherwise, I feel… I don’t know.”

“Imprisoned.” You finished, as Loki’s lips let out the exact same word in almost a perfect synchronization.

Again, no lie.

“Hah… yeah” you smiled. “Sorry, I probably sound like a brat, complaining about living in such a big place.”

“No, I understand perfectly.” Loki found himself say in soft tone.

Loki walked with you inside and accompanied to your room. The sight when you opened the door was rather dismal. Just a small bed, a desk. But the bed was interesting, or more like what was on top of it. A stuffed little bear with a green bow on its neck, and a travel bag. He assumed they did go with Director Fury’s intention of having the trainees educated like soldiers until they completed their training.

After that day he felt more interested on helping with the training of newer recruits, thing he crushingly refused to do before meeting you. But it was his excuse to see you more. And as he imagined, you were among the best recruits. You weren’t the strongest, nor the fastest, and definitely not the tallest given some mutants came to be even taller than him. But you were agile and flexible, and you worked harder than anyone else to make up for any shortcomings you could have.

And you were smart, the smartest in the group. Loki had seen Stark give tests to the recruits and your results always came among the best, and more often than not, you were on top of those results.

“You did it again” Loki would congratulate you.

“It’s just a number on a paper” you always replied back, “that doesn’t mean I am going to be good on the world out there.”

“And yet your leg is bouncing with excitement” Loki pointed out.

You laughed and placed a hand to your knee to make it stop.

“The ego boost is still appreciated” you replied, a bit sheepish.

You were his favorite of all the recruits. Not that it was a title most competed for, a lot just gave him wary looks when it was his turn to train recruits, after all who wanted to have the man who once terrorized Earth as the class teacher. But you always helped to control the group, willingly volunteering for sparring with him for demonstrations and even while everyone else got a partner you chose him, even when that meant it’d be ten times more difficult than picking another mutant.

But once again, that allowed him to get closer to you.

“I’m telling you, it’s magic!” you assured him pointing to the water bottle as you sat next to him.

“Sure, it is.”

He knew you had no magic. He had read your files –for purely professional reasons, like personalizing– and knew of your abilities. But he also had no clue how you had shoved a coin bigger than the bottles neck all the way to the bottom.

But he didn’t like that playful giggle of yours, it always meant trouble.

“Look inside if you don’t believe me.” You said placing your eye on the bottle orifice to get a better look at the coin.

He sighed and mimicked what you had done, pressing his eye to the bottle’s finish to get a better look and see if he could figure something to get it out.

“I don’t see–”

In a second you had squeezed the bottle and splash him in the face. Which was noticed by a few recruits that let out quiet laughs, unlike you who were giggling shamelessly at his expense.

“You! You... traitorous, cheeky, despicable, insolent–” Loki huffed as he latched onto your ribs and squeezed them repeatedly making you double over in laughter.

You batted his hand gently after about a minute as you regained his composure.

“Oh god, you’re my favorite thing ever, it’s been years since these pranks stooped working on everyone else” you laughed.

Loki huffed. “I wasn’t living here years ago.”

“Oh, I know that’s what makes it funnier” you laughed and patted his shoulder.

Other trainees were looking at him amused, but he noticed they seemed a lot less tense now. As if some of that fear they had was gone. It was… weirdly nice. So, he just sighed and rubbed his face with sleeve to dry himself off.

“You cannot expect me to go easy on you after your little stunt” he asked as he stood up.

“Mm, it’s already, I like rough treatment anyway” you winked at him.

That made some other people in the room as Loki’s cheeks heated up lightly. But he still smirked.

“We’ll see about that in a few minutes, won’t we?”

You were also what humans called, the class clown. And your favorite thing was to prank him. It was all harmless stuff, like when you started a game the entire class to start a game every time, he used Asgardian or just outdated expressions like “Norns” or “Heavens.” Or that time you taped giant googly eyes to your chest, so he had a hard time giving a lecture as he got the urge to laugh every time he glanced at you, and even had the audacity to tell him, “Hey, my eyes are up here!” as you bounced, making the googly eyes bounce all over the place. That time where you filled his locker with confetti and balloons.

It was embarrassing because despite he’s nature, he had no way to get back at you. His illusions didn’t faze you one bit, and the concept of pranks for a god weren’t particularly safe for humans, your style was weirdly benign, and he couldn’t match it. And everything he tried repeating from your pranks wasn’t really surprising.

He used to think nothing could ever bother you at all… Until he was wrong.

He found you one night by the roof, sitting with your legs hanging on the edge, but the little border made a secure railing that kept you safe. You had been gone for hours, even skipping training, and he saw a half empty bottle of Vodka behind you.

“What are you doing here?” he asked as he sat beside you.

“Wasting time, and Tony’s reserves” you joked bitterly. “Watching the forest.”

“It is a lovely night” Loki admitted. “But you were missed at today’s sparring. It is obvious I’m not nearly as tolerable without you around.”

“Just relax, they’ve already warmed up to you” you sighed. “No one likes a stiff teacher.”

It was true hay whenever you made him laugh everyone else seemed to ease up as well. He always attributed to your natural charm and that you relished embarrassing him. But… people were a lot less wary around him lately.

“What made you skip?” he asked.

“It’s the 13th anniversary since my mutation manifested” you sighed and you reached your arm into the sky, it stretched for a few meters before it regained its normal shape.

“I thought people here celebrated that” Loki inquired. “You act as if a partner abandoned you.”

“I don’t know, I think I miss being normal… well, more normal” you chuckled humorlessly. “Not feeling like an actual monster.”

Loki could relate to that, realizing that you are different means you will never wake up with the same concept of yourself, because as it turns out, you are a mistake, a cosmic improbability and turns out, you’ve never been like anyone else around you.

“You are not monster, you’re a–”

“Oh right, because mutant sounds so much nicer.”

“Does it upset you?” Loki asked. “Being the way you are?”

“Yes. No. A little? I don’t know, it’s like a dream living in the Avengers home.” You sighed. “But… don’t you ever get the feeling that rather than wanting to have you around they’re just don’t want you to go rogue? I mean, I get it, with all that’s happening with the Banshee black market…”

Loki couldn’t help but laugh at that. If anyone understood what you felt, that was him. You were a mutant, which granted was becoming much more transcendental these days. More with the mutation enhancing drugs circulating, SHIELD and other organizations were putting a lot of energy to make sure less mutants went on a rampage. But none of you actually had major lists of crimes on their backs, unlike Loki. If anyone was being monitored that was Loki.

Even if he was technically an official Avenger already, it always felt like it was all because of his connection with Thor and at most that he was already highly trained, better than most other Avengers.

“I assure you that they do not think that of you.” Loki spoke reassuringly. “The Incorporations of Mutants Program is simply to remove mutants from a dangerous environment.”

“Yeah, free of Banshee and even add some mutant soldiers to their ranks, it’s a win-win situation” you spoke bitterly.

A part of him felt weirdly nostalgic. His mind took him back to the treasure vault of Asgard, his words reverberating on the walls: «So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up, here until you might have use of me?» And now, more than a decade later, he found himself defending his father. This was just the same, you weren’t necessarily wrong… but it only a piece of the picture, the hurtful bit of a picture.

“You’re right to feel that way.” Loki spoke reassuringly. “But know that these people care about you… even if their original intentions aren’t as selfless. Trust me, I would know.”

“That’s surprisingly mature for a prince that’s technically younger than me.”

He felt his cheeks warming up to your comment and scoffed out a laugh. Of course, even in a vulnerable moment you wouldn’t let the chance pass to tease him.

“What can I say? I am not just devilishly handsome, charming, and tremendously intelligent,” he smiled, “there’s gotta be some wisdom to balance it all out.”

That made you laugh in that way that made his heart flutter in his chest. And before he knew it, you had rested your head on his shoulder. He felt his cheeks heat up and a smile make its way to his face. Had it always been so difficult concealing his excitement?

“You forgot humble and down to earth” you chuckled and rolled your eyes.

“What can I say, darling?” he smiled, “I’m a perfect man, I am completely irresistible.”

“And you still can’t get a date” you smile nudging his side.

“Not my fault there” Loki chuckled, “I’m quite particular when choosing a lover.”

“Right, and you being insufferable has nothing to do with it” you smiled as you grabbed his side and gave him a few squeezes.

The feeling made him jolt and let out a strangled gasp. Of course, you little brat always took advantage of this silly weakness of him ever since you found out.

He remembered the day you found out, quite vividly.

It was a holiday, so most recruits were out for a couple of days with either family, friends, or a new fling. Even some of the Avengers with friends out of the compound left for a few days. So, it was the super soldiers, the Maximoff twins, Vision, Thor, Loki, and you.

Your family had left for a trip, so you had no reason to leave the compound. Loki was thrilled that he would have you practically to himself. He felt those butterflies deep within his chest every time he saw you alone in a room. Of course, he kept his cool as best he could, still being the same mischievous charmer he’s always been, despite feeling like a giddy kid at the sight of you.

Even the most ordinary of mornings were blissful with you around. Even things like breakfast you could always make a monotone activities fun. Like right now, making Thor and the Maximoff twins laugh and sing around with you while you were whipping pancake mix on a bowl. It was some sort of little dance party while you cooked.

Loki couldn’t help but stare and chuckle softly.

“Loki, good morning” you smiled as poured some mix on a frying pan. “Wanna join us for breakfast?”

“Is it required for me to squirm around like a possessed worm like you’re doing?” he joked.

“Yes, it is imperative that you do, otherwise the pancakes will come flat” you quipped back with a cheeky smile.

“Come on brother, I know Midgard dancing is very different from what we used to see at home,” Thor intervened, “But it is quite fun, give it a try!”

“That’s the attitude, Thor-nderstorm” you grinned as you continued to dance.

“In that case I think I’ll just do with some coffee” he cleared his throat as he spoke.

“Come on, brother” Thor insisted, shameless —or rather, clueless— as usual. “It’s fun!”

“Hey, no shame if he can’t do it” you said, “Not everyone can dance.”

Loki laughed.

“If you call that «dancing», I’ll let you know I am actually a great dancer” he stated, just so you knew.

“Loki, if someone has to inform me of their traits, I have learned not to believe that.” You challenged him.

He looked away, focusing on the black liquid dripping into the coffee pot, trying to think of anything else that wasn’t you. Just the coffee, dark, bitter, that he had to keep himself from drinking before bed or it’d deprive him of sleep... Just the way you…

“ACK—!” he was brought back by the squeeze on his sides that made him jump and hold back a yelp.

He was ready to yell at Thor, when he saw the outstretched arms and you looking at him from the other side of the kitchen, the hands returned to your hips. Everyone was looking at him.

“Oh, you’re back” you saw his rosy cheeks a bit confused. “Honey?”

“Excuse me?”

“What do you want your pancakes with? Honey?”

“Uh- I… I- no… Um, I didn’t— I…” he couldn’t even look at you.

But you gave him a reassuring smile.

“I recall you like them with honey” you smiled, “It’s Thor that likes them with maple syrup.”

“That’s correct” Thor beamed happily.

“Don’t finish it all you hoarder” Pietro quipped as he wrestled with the blond for the bottle of syrup.

He sighed quietly, thankful that they had moved onto the next subject. He served himself his cup of coffee and just when he was going to turn around, he felt a hand on his shoulder, and that gently traveled all the way down his side and caused him to shiver.

He looked at you with daggers in his eyes before checking on the rest that were focused on eating and didn’t notice anything, thankfully. You just look at him and chuckled, before handing him a plate with neatly piled up pancakes with honey and some a small mix of berries you knew he liked.

“I didn’t know all Gods were so ticklish, I thought it was a Thor thing” you whispered. “…Good to know.”

You might as well have buried him alive after that. But, to his surprise you didn’t tell anyone. No one brought it up, not even Thor, who was already painfully aware of how cripplingly sensitive Loki was. No, and the anticipation killed him for the next day or two.

You didn’t bring it up once until one night you had the entire compound to yourselves. The doctor Foster had invited Thor over to «watch movies», not that anyone bought that for a second, the Scarlet Witch had gone on a date with the Vision, Barnes and Rogers were out on a party thing and had taken the Maximoff brother with him to further introduce him as part of the team. So, it was you and Loki completely alone.

You were reading on the couch on the weirdest positions, with your head upside down and the book inelegantly hanging on the air as you red upside down with your back arched as it seemed you’d fall out of the couch any second.

He grinned. It was the perfect chance to get you back. He made sure to be very quiet as he approached you and moved very slowly so you wouldn’t notice him —human earbuds were a blessing for his mischief, but they were not infallible— and right when he was towering over you. He squeezed both your sides.

“AAAAAAHHH!” you screeched as you fell off the couch.

Loki looked over to where you were laying on the floor where you had a hand over your heart.

“Loki! You nearly gave me a heart attack!” You scolded him.

What? No blush, no squeaky voice, no stuttering, no nervous shifting or even a giggle? No nothing? Were you that good at playing dumb? No way.

“What was that for?”

“I am sorry, I simply can’t resist when someone is vulnerable like that” Loki shrugged it off and sat on the couch, hoping you wouldn’t ask him to elaborate. “What are you reading?”

You sat back up next to him and showed him the baby blue book with pink letters and a couple kissing on the cover. One of those romance novels you liked.

“Is that the one you told me about?” Loki asked.

“It’s the one” you grinned and noticed the book beside him. “What are you reading?”

“Just old Asgardian poetry” he said, showing you the book, despite knowing you don’t speak Asgardian. He noticed the look you gave him, with an arched eyebrow and a smug grin, “It’s old even for me. Just old love poems.”

Your eyes sparkled like absolute diamonds, and you scooted closer to him, your face just inches from his. “Can you read one to me?”

He felt his cheeks flush at your excitement, and the clumsiness. But he cleared his throat and opened it on the poem he was reading. But he decided to be smug and read it just like it showed, in old Norse.

“Oh, so funny.” You growled and jabbed his sides.

Loki nearly jumped out of his skin and barked out a laugh. A laugh that didn’t go unnoticed given you quickly followed that same movement that had made him squirm. He very did a very poor job at concealing his reaction.

His brain quickly felt fuzzy, he could feel his restrained laughter echoing in his chest, and even still a few snickers were slipping out. His arms felt like worms just clumsily trying to find your hands to push you away. His face was impossibly hot and surely a dark shade of red at this point. His mind was on its knees begging for him to succumb and allow his body to laugh. And that’s exactly what he did when your hands sneaked past his arms and gently wiggled against the skin on his armpits.

“Wahahait! Stohohohop that!” he laughed.

“So that’s what your laugh sounds like” you teased him. “Hm… it’s actually kinda cute.”

“Stohohop this or ehehehehelse!” he latched his hands to your forearms but found that he didn’t even have the strength in himself to push you away.

Maybe it was that subliminal fear that he knew how fragile humans were. Maybe he was just that stupidly ticklish. Or… maybe your fingers were warm, and soft… and you had never given him this much attention.

He had fallen back on the couch, and you sat on his waist, straddling him with your legs on each side, and your hands were now exploring every bit of his torso to see what got him to laugh the hardest, your eyes were looking for every reaction, and your words were dedicated solely to tease him. He truly had you all for himself right now.

And it was driving him crazy.

“Mohohohortal! Cease this ahahahahat once!” he cackled. “It’s ahahahahan ordeheher!”

“Oh?” you smiled in a made that made his insides tingle, “I don’t think you’re in any position to make that call~”

Your thumbs dug into his hipbones that made him arch his back as he let out a loud screech and followed by a stream of guffaws. You laughed along with him, and it almost made this torture worth it.

Worth it, not more bearable.

“Plehehehease, no more! I surrender!” he laughed as he clumsily slapped your forearm in what he had learned was a sign of giving up.

“Wait, seriously” you asked, a bit surprised that you had actually gotten to him.

“Yehehehes, please, I yieheheheld!”

And thank gods it worked. You immediately stopped tickling him and helped him sit back up.

“You okay there?” you smiled at him, and his only response was tackling you to try getting some well-deserve revenge.

Ever since that night you had tormented every once in a while, by tickling him silly whenever you felt like it. But somehow you always had the decency to make it behind closed doors, where no one could see him laughing like an idiot at the mercy of a mortal simply tickling him. And… laying on your bed at late hours was very much worth it, the books he brought to read for you could always wait.

Loki and you chatted for a few hours and soon you sober up enough which relaxed Loki enough, but he noticed your conversation turned more melancholic, contrasting with your grumpy drunk rant earlier. You talked about your family, old jobs, and a department you owned before moving in on the compound.

“Can I tell you something funny?” you smiled sadly, and he nodded. “I miss being ticklish.”

“Well darling, I think that’s been enough alcohol for you.” Loki said as he grabbed the bottle and made it vanish away from you.

“I mean it!” you laughed.

“You’re insane.”

“It’s… I used to laugh so easy… Now every poke, every squeeze, every jab…” you poked your side and your finger sunk in your skin. “It’s… I don’t know… absorbed? I don’t feel anything like I used to.”

He remembered, the time you tickled him silly, how he attempted to get revenge, and how poorly it ended for him.

He latched his hands to your sides and squeezed you thoroughly. He crawled his hands over your belly, he pinched your ribs, and skittering his fingers under your arms. He experimented on every inch of your body.

But at most you gave him a soft breathy laugh, more amused than ticklish induced.

“Sorry Loki, I’m not that ticklish” you smiled trying to be apologetic, but you seemed more amused.

Your armed stretched and wrapped in circles around his bicep to pin his arm upward and still stretched enough to reach and tickle under his arm.

Needless to say, this time he didn’t get a break so easily.

“I doubt there is any actual downside to being the way you are” Loki encouraged you, “I’d give anything to not be… you know…”

“Cripplingly ticklish?” you smiled and elbowed his side making his face flush.

Norns, where had the days gone when he used to be a charming silver-tongued flirt? He used to be swooning men, women, and mythical beings alike, but your silly teasing for some reason had him blushing like a young boy.

“I-It’s… not how I would have phrased that…”

“I would” you cut him off with a giggle and poked his ribs, making him jump and barely hold back a squeak. A squeak.

“Right… Nowhere near the point I was trying to make” he sighs.

“I know… I just miss that intimacy” you sighed.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, tickling was fun when I was little, it’s a nice way of being close to others” you sighed as you rested your head against his shoulder. “And I wish I could have that. Usually I get «no, it’s unfair since you’re not ticklish» and well… No more fun for me.”

Close to others.

He gulped at the warmth of your body as you leaned on him. His heart was racing, his hands were sweaty, his face was burning, he felt a knot in his throat and his breath was hitching.

“Tickle me then.”

“What did you say?!”

What did he say?!

Loki had been through the toughest training regimes growing up, he’d been deadly injured in battle countless time before he even turned 1000 years old, he’d withstand the most merciless tortures, and had been clinically dead more than once. But ever since he was little the one thing he couldn’t stand, was getting tickled. It was so bad to the point where the only people who could tickle him were his parents and Thor… who also had the advantage of being about three times stronger than Loki.

He remembered vividly the last time he was tickled past his limit he had lost control of his magic and unintentionally sent Thor to the healing room for two days (although he had been too proud to admit it had been an accident). The fact that you had left your last encounter tickling him unscathed was a miracle.

“Are you serious?” you asked him, looking at him suspiciously.

Truthfully, he didn’t know if he was. He was so convinced he hated being tickled, that he couldn’t understand why the idea actually felt… Exciting? Appealing? He tried convincing himself it was just the idea of having your hands on him.

“Yes, how bad can it really be?” Loki nearly wanted to die when he felt his voice crack in nervousness, and he had to clear his throat. “You’re just a human, after all.”

“Oh, is that so?” you chuckle. “Mm, I might take you on that offer then.”

You squeezed his side and his breath hitched.

“W-Wait, don’t!” he gasped and grabbed your hand.

“Oh, here better?” you grinned and used your other hand to squeeze above his knee, which made him jolt and grab your other hand by reflex.

“Gods, you do not make this easy” he chuckled softly.

“We don’t have to do this if you’re not comfortable” you smiled genuinely. “I still appreciate the intention.”

The disappointed look on your face was all the motivation he needed, he pulled you towards him and sat facing you, guiding your hands to his sides as he felt his face burning. How terminally insane had he gone?

“Do it before I change my mind” he said firmly.

“Pfft!” you giggled, “You’re crazy.”

“It would seem so” he smiled. “Let’s get this over with…”

You chuckled and you started skittering your fingernails along his sides. Loki’s jaw tensed immediately as he felt his lips started twitching upward.

“Aww… you’re so ticklish, Loki” you smiled as you kept tracing your fingers up and down his sides, from his hips to his upper ribs. “It’s so charming.”

He cursed his choice of wardrobe today, and Midgardian fashion in general, he could have used a good layer of his Asgardian leather armors. Now a cotton shirt and black jeans served him very little as your finger tormented his sides.

And he was starting to giggle already.

“Yohohohou’re such a pehehehehest!”

“C’mon… it is pretty cute how you laugh,” you smiled, “your voice is so deep but your giggles are so light.”

“I’m nohohohot cute! Hehehe- Hey! Dohohohn’t touch thehehehere!” he giggled when your hands wiggled towards the sides of his belly.

“Oh, your pwetty tummy is so ticklish, isn’t it?” you cooed doing bloody baby talk, “You so cute~”

“Stohohohohop!” he guffawed. “Do nohohot patronize mehehehe!”

He hated how well you had learned how sensitive his stomach was. You had tickled him about three times total prior to this peak of insanity, but the weak spot that was his entire abdomen didn’t go unnoticed from the first time.

“I’m sorry, it’s so hard not to tease you when you have such a cute way of laughing.”

“I’m nohohohohot! Stop sahahaying that!” he protested between laughs.

“You should see yourself” you smiled at him. “The way you scrunch up your nose and stick your tongue out ever so slightly is so endearing!”

“Shuhuhuhut up!” he laughed as he bent over to try protecting his belly from your fingers.

You were being so gentle to him, simply skittering your fingers over his shirt. Being anyone else, that might have just gotten a few giggles out, but he was so ridiculously ticklish, especially there. That this delicate taunt to the skin had him hysterical.

“No mohohohore!” he pleaded, “Not thehehehere!”

“Not where?” you asked innocently. “Here?”

And you poked gently over the patch of skin right below his navel.

“Cuhuhut it out! Gehehet away from my stomahahahach!” he cackled, “I’m behehegging you!”

For some reason you decided to listen and move from his gut, moving to poke and knead his ribs, even doing those unbearable ticklish pinches around him.

You had a hellish ability to have him in stitches.

It kept going for a while, you would explore a spot, have him giggling like a child and then move onto the next to start over, not giving him a chance to get used to any sensation or spot.

“Dahahahahahahahaharling, plehehease!” he laughed, “thahahat’s so bahahahad!”

Seemingly that phrased worked and it stopped you giving him the chance to catch his breath, he placed a hand over his chest, feeling it rise and fall as he tried refilling his lungs with air.

“You little imp!” Loki panted “I was being so nice to you!”

“So was I” you smiled, “I’ve tickled you before, you know how bad it can be.”

Surely you were right, but the way you said it, almost like a promise, made Loki’s cheeks flare up, not that it would’ve been noticeable given how his face was flushed from laughing.

“You’re a menace” he chuckled, as he ruffled your hair “How come I’ve grown so fond of a little nuisance like yourself?”

“What can I say? I’m irresistible like that” you laughed as you rested your head against his arm.

He chuckled as he felt a lingering warmth spreading from where you were resting against his arm to his chest.

“Maybe you are” he sighed with a smile. If only you knew.

“Loki… can I ask you something?” you looked up at him.

“What is it?”

“Are you happy… living here?” you asked. “Or… have you never thought of running away?”

His face darkened. It made sense, but the idea of you thinking of him as a potential traitor stung worse than every awful thing said to or by him in stupid fights with Thor or his parents when the arguments got heated.

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, you lived in a castle, with luxury, prestige, fame and power” you spoke, “isn’t this too little for you? Don’t you feel trapped?”

Now that reasoning he didn’t expect. He smiled at you fondly.

“You make me sound like a spoiled brat” he chuckled.

“Aren’t you?” you chuckled.

“Of course not, I am the epitome of humility” he claimed, making you laugh. “But… answering to your question… I used to feel trapped, every day I’d be plotting my escape, how to make my great escape.”

“And we won't hear a word they say…” you chuckled.

“What?” he smiled.

“Nothing, The Great Escape is a song, continue” you smiled.

“And trust me… at first… I tried, they didn’t take long to catch me analyzing their security systems and patrolling schedules in a chance to sneak out. I was given so many last warnings and caused Thor so much trouble. Until… eventually I realized… I had nowhere to run to” Loki spoke sadly, “And eventually I stopped trying, this was all I had, and I had to make the best of it. At least my brother was around…”

“Aw, so you do care about Thor” you smiled as you nudge his side.

“I did not say that, and you are not to tell him that” Loki spoke in a fake seriousness. “His ego is big enough as it is.”

“Oh, you’re criticizing him about his big ego.” You laughed, and Loki’s heart fluttered, “You should tell him, he would be very happy that his little brother loves him.”

“Perhaps I will one day” Loki smiled, resting his cheek on the top of your head. “Now, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted…”

“Diva” you muttered under your breath, making Loki chuckle.

“…Eventually I resigned to living here,” he continued. “And one day, the Incorporation of Mutant Program was introduced.”

“I’m still not over the fact that we were named the IMPs” you laughed, making Loki snicker.

“Are you kidding? That was the only thing I considered salvageable of you all at the time.” Loki joked, earning a poke on the ribs from you, “…Among the other Avengers I was requested to instruct the recruits. Which I refused to do.”

“And then you met me” you smiled.

“And then I met you.” Loki agreed. “Which made it all more bearable, you at least provided me with some challenge and entertainment.”

“That’s a really twisted way to say you like me” you chuckled.

If you only knew…

“Would you believe me if I said I did?”

“That’s fair.”

The triggered something in him, a moment of bravado that made him want to risk everything and tell you.

“Are you sure of that?” he asked, as he gently placed a finger under your chin, and pulled for you to look at him. “Even if I said you drive me completely crazy?”

Oh, the look of shock that adorned your now blushing features was delicious.

“Even if I said that I think about you on every waking moment, and that just for the sake of that smile of yours I’d withstand the most barbarous tortures… That for the longest time now you’ve had my heartstrings wrapped around your fingers, playing me like a puppet at your will just for the sake of you one day maybe looking at me the way I look at you.”

“What…? Wh— L-Loki… I— you—!” you stuttered.

Your face was red, but you didn’t seem repelled by his confession. Thank goodness. He thought maybe giving you some time to organize your words was the best thing he could do.

“Why me?” you finally asked.

“Why not?”

“I’m not particularly strong, powerful or attractive” you stated. “Even among just the other recruits.”

“I beg to differ, it takes a lot to render a god helpless like you did earlier.”

“Because you allowed me to” you retorted.

“Because I am crazy about you” Loki said gently.

“Why?”

“You’re stubborn, you get on my nerves all the time, you question and defy my authority every chance you have, and you have no fear of the consequences of crossing a god, especially one with my history.” Loki chuckled. “That takes a lot of courage.”

You smiled at him shyly, and oh gods, the amount of self-control it took not to tackled you and kiss the daylights out of you was ridiculous.

“You are funny, and witty, you have these innocent eyes that make me want to blindly believe you every time you pull one of your stupid pranks on me.”

“And you fall every time” you smiled as the pink shade returned to your cheeks.

“I fall every time” he whispered with a gentle nod. “I fall every time you smile, every time you laugh and every time you look at me as if I was someone interesting and worth getting to know better.”

“You are worth getting to know better… Hell, you’re worth risking a friendship for…”

“Risking a friendship— Mmph?!”

Before he could process what you had done he was already melting against your lips that were sweetly pressed against his.

He felt your fingers sneaking behind him, brushing gently against his neck, which made him laugh softly against the kiss before they continued their journey to his head, where they started playing with his hair in a way that caused him to swoon. In return he placed his hands on the small of your back, brushing his thumbs against you.

And you let out a giggle.

“What was that?” he asked amused.

“W-Wait, do it again!” You smiled brightly.

Loki smiled and brushed his fingers gently across your back and you let out a little giggle.

“It tickled!” You exclaimed.

“Oh did it…?” he smiled and experimented by gently scratching your sides and belly, just soft caresses with his blunt nails over your skin.

And you were giggling like a happy kid.

“Would you look at that…” Loki taunted you. “The little springy mortal is ticklish after all.”

You just rested against his chest as he tickled you, not protesting or squirming at all, just happy giggles. He supposed it made sense, pokes, squeezes, and jabs did nothing, but your skin was still sensitive enough to react to caresses, and it turned out it was all he needed. He took his sweet time exploring every little spot on your body that made you giggle.

Perhaps tickling was fun after all.

| Masterpost |

#marvel #marvel tickles #marvel fluff #loki laufeyson #ticklish!loki #lee!loki #ler!loki #ticklish!reader #lee!reader #ler!reader #loki x reader #loki tickle #loki fluff #geek #my work #ducky writes tickles

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accirax · 1 year ago

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Attempting to Debunk the Arei Dress Up Theory

(CW: death, a mention of blackface, and discussion of the BMI system. Spoilers through Chapter 2 of Trigger Happy Havoc and through Chapter 2 Part 1 of Danganronpa: Despair Time.)

As most of you are likely aware, it’s a popular theory that, for one reason or another, the killer of Danganronpa Despair Time Chapter 2 dressed up as the victim, Arei, and that you can see them doing so in this conversation.

Because Veronika brings up Teruko’s prosopagnosia (face blindness) later in the episode, because Arei unusually says nothing throughout this conversation, and because the Dress-Up Room was oh-so-conveniently introduced this chapter, at first glance, it seems very plausible that this could be the twist the Class Trial is heading towards. I, too, liked this theory at first, but then I got to thinking. And the more I thought about all the risk factors, the more I became convinced it was nearly impossible that anybody would have chosen to dress up as Arei.

So, that’s what I’m trying to prove today: no possible killer amongst this cast could have been dressing up as Arei at this exact moment. And, my method is the most fair thing I could think of: bringing up a bunch of points of contention that could trip up anybody, and giving each character either an X or a pass based on their own traits and skills.

Given that there are 14 points that I came up with, I think it’s fair to say that if the character in question receives seven Xs or more (AKA 50%), it would be basically impossible for their disguise to have fooled anyone for this long. I will be giving out double Xs (XX) on some occasions where I think that someone would have a particularly bad problem.

That is based on my discretion, but, uh… so is this entire theory. The good news is that, with this one, it’s particularly easy to play along at home! If you disagree with any of my points, you could run this experiment and change the boundaries or participants to your liking. I’d love to see it if you do!

For this theory, I will be tackling any important character that I think could be dressing up as Arei at this moment. However, that isn’t everybody. Here’s who I eliminated and why:

Because we’re looking at this particular conversation, no one who is present in the Cafeteria could be pretending to be Arei at this point. I mean, I guess if Arei was in on it, then the eventual killer could be dressing up as Arei, and Arei could be dressing up as them. But, if Arei is willing to cooperate… why wouldn’t Arei and the killer just act as themselves? So, Teruko, Hu, Ace, Nico, Veronika, and Levi cannot be dressing up as Arei.

Xander and Min are dead, so I’m excluding them from this conversation.

If Arei is dressing up as Arei, she’s just being Arei. That’s nothing unusual, so we’re not talking about it.

If you genuinely think MonoTV dressed up as Arei and is the Chapter 2 killer, I have many concerns for you.

…Please don’t make me speculate even further about Mai, my heart can’t take it. More seriously, I think that the odds of this huge Mai twist resulting in her being the Chapter 2 killer (and thusly getting executed) are low enough that I can excuse her. I guess it could be that Arei was already dead at this time due to someone else’s hand, and then Mai stepped in from who knows where to impersonate Arei for reasons unknown, but… that’s so speculative that, again, I’m not going to bother. It'd really freak out the killer, too; can you imagine?

Cool! So that leaves us with Arturo, Charles, David, Eden, J, Rose, and Whit as people who could theoretically be dressing up as Arei, likely as her killer.

Before we really get started, I just want to clearly state that, for the most part, I’m not relating this to the actual theories of the timing or method of Arei’s murder. I think it makes the most sense if the person dressing up as Arei then became the blackened, but I’m not actually going to tie anyone’s culprit feasibility into how well they could dress up. There’s no category based on “do they have an alibi for Arei’s time of death” or “could they overpower Arei in a fight.” It’s just an objective look at how good everyone would be at impersonating Arei. I'm going to address the hypothetical person dressing up as Arei as the killer for the remainder of the analysis, though, so keep that in mind.

Let’s get started with issue #1!

Issue #1: Arei’s Hair Color

One factor that even Teruko could notice is if the killer didn’t have the same hair color as Arei. The girl is super blue (Arei even claims so herself in the Chapter 2 Part 1 Q&A), so the killer missing her distinctive hue would be a definite misstep. Out of the characters we have left, I think that David or Arturo would be the best at matching her hair color naturally.

Thankfully, though, they don’t have to.

A point frequently brought up is that we’ve seen these wigs in the Dress-Up Room already. If the killer simply put this on as part of their Arei disguise, it doesn’t matter what their original hair color is. Now, this wig is a lighter color than Arei’s hair, and it’s a little curly, and you’d have to style it, and the white wig being so similar to Sora from SDRA2’s hair makes me think that this wig is meant to parody an existing fangan character… but I’m willing to ignore all that for the sake of theorizing. Plus on that last point, just because the wig may be referencing somebody else doesn’t mean it couldn’t have been used by the killer.

So, no Xs given out this time! A round of applause for all our contestants.

Issue #2: Arei’s Eyes

Similarly, if you showed up dressed as Arei without her beautiful cerulean orbs, a lot of people would probably notice that something was up. J, Whit, and debatably Arturo pass this one for having blue eyes themselves.

The frequent counterpoint to this is similar to the wigs– the Dress-Up Room could easily contain colored contacts which could allow anybody to make their eyes blue. So, let’s talk about the Dress-Up Room.

This is what it looks like in full. As you can see, it’s mostly clothes. Teruko calls it “a boutique,” and Whit and Hu only mention getting “new clothes,” implying that there’s mostly only clothes in this room. However, it’s not only clothes, because Teruko has this to say:

Teruko mentions things besides clothes in this room, but has nothing to say about contacts or makeup. If they do exist, I think it would have to be in this dresser area, either in the drawers or in the pink box.

Now, I don’t think it’s impossible that there could be contacts in either of these places, which is why I’m giving people who don’t have blue eyes a pass here. I’m also ignoring the specific iris/pupil designs that people have here (such as David’s stars or Whit’s heart-shaped pupils) for the sake of the benefit of the doubt. Nobody has patterns on their irises or heart shaped pupils in real life (even after eye surgery), so that could just be a fun design quirk the creator ignored.

However, I will be giving our first X of the game to Eden, because of her glasses. If Eden was dressing up as Arei, she couldn’t wear her usual glasses, which she presumably needs to see. She could remedy her vision impairment with contacts, except that she would have to be wearing colored contacts to have blue eyes.

I did look it up, and it is possible to make colored contacts with a prescription. However, they would have to be customly made for Eden, which would mean that either A) she had to already have them on her at the start of the game (highly unlikely) or B) whoever created this killing game’s set specifically made colored contacts with Eden’s prescription on the off chance that Eden both decided to kill someone AND decided to dress up as someone to do it. They’d have to do it in several colors, too, because they would have no idea who Eden was planning to kill/dress up as. That seems implausible enough to me to discredit her on this one count.

You could also argue that Eden decided to chance just not wearing her glasses here. However, that would raise the obvious problem that she wouldn’t be able to see either what’s in front of her or who’s far away from her, which are both bad for someone trying to go undercover. It would be really hard for her to get through the day without accidentally scrunching her eyes trying to see something, which would start giving her away. Additionally, if Eden’s vision requires a double prescription (such as needing bifocals), you cannot make contacts for that kind of vision impairment.

So, yeah. TL;DR, it’s still an X for Eden only here.

Issue #3: Arei’s Skin Color

Arei has light skin, which you can see on her face and other various body parts in her typical clothing. Thus, anybody with dark skin would struggle impersonating Arei, because they would need to put paint/makeup on their face, neck, arms, hands, and thighs to avoid suspicion.

My point about the Dress-Up Room also comes back here. We haven’t seen any evidence that there is makeup in the Dress-Up Room, and other than potentially in Storage, I don’t think there’s a great alternate place to get it. I would believe that both Whit and Hu might wear makeup, so it would have been easy for one of them to comment about the cosmetics present in this room if they existed, and particularly if they would later be murder relevant.

However again, for the sake of theorizing, I’ll say that there is light skin paint/makeup in one of the drawers that a darker skinned person could use to cover themselves up. It would still be a time consuming plan with a high chance of failure, though, so I’m giving Charles, Eden, and Rose an X for impracticality here.

Issue #4: Arei’s Ethnicity

(This section has been edited since its original posting. Thank you to @another-danganronpa-fan and @xmicrophonyx for drawing my attention to the August 6th Q&A and more importantly the March 6th Q&A!)

Although Google says that the last name “Nageishi” is most common in Brazil (???), given that it’s Japanese in origin (as are Arei, Fuyuko, and Natusko’s names), I’m pretty sure that Arei is Japanese. And many of the other students… are not.

Look, I don’t want to bring real world politics into silly anime murder theory, but I really, really doubt that the creator would want to have a person of one race dress up as someone of another race, especially for characters who would have to change their skin tone. It’s not as obviously bad as a character straight up doing blackface, but it’s close enough that I think the creator would know to avoid putting that beat into their story. I’m tempted to give characters that fail here a double X, but since it’s technically only my opinion, I’ll leave it at one.

Now, I am assuming characters’ ethnicities here based on last names, which isn’t a foolproof plan. It doesn’t account for characters who are adopted, or who have a mixed race lineage. Still, I think that, combined with their designs, it’s the best we have to go off of.

Therefore, I’m giving an X to Arturo (likely caucasian), Charles (confirmed Hispanic), J (confirmed Hispanic), and Rose (French last name, but given that she is obviously black I would say likely Afro-French/potentially Creole?). Because David (likely Vietnamese) is still East Asian, I’m letting him slide; same with Whit (confirmed caucasian/asian). Although Eden's skin tone still troubles me, I try not to penalize or benefit characters multiple times for the same trait. Thus, because Eden is canonically half black and half Japanese, she will also not get an X.

I truly hope that I did not offend anybody with this section. If I said something incorrect, please let me know so that I can apologize and either correct it or remove this section as quickly as possible.

Issue #5: Arei’s Height

Arei is 5’7” (170 cm), so for the killer to impersonate her, they’d have to be somewhere around her height. I know that the Arei we saw was probably sitting down, but like… the killer would still have to walk to and away from the table to get there, which means people could have seen them standing. Not to mention, your height still shows when you’re sitting down if it’s off enough.

I think that being one inch (2.5 cm) off in either direction would be enough to bypass most people (we’ll get to that), so anyone in the 5’6”-5’8” (167-173 cm) range could pull it off. Therefore, J passes at a perfect 5’7” (170 cm), and so does Whit (5’6”/167 cm). Arturo (6’3”/190 cm) gets our first XX here for being literally over half a foot (15 cm) off. Eden just barely avoids being half a foot off at 5’2” (157 cm), so she gets an X. So do Charles (5’9”/175 cm), David (5’9”/175 cm), and Rose (5’4”/162 cm).

Issue #6: Arei’s Weight

I bring in this point mostly to communicate how likely it is that the killer could properly fit into Arei’s clothes. If the killer weighed too much more than Arei, then the clothes would be too tight, and if they weighed too much less than Arei, the clothes would be super baggy.

The best way I figured I could analyze this is to use a Body Mass Index (BMI) chart, which, if you didn’t know, is a ratio doctors use to compare people’s heights to their weights to determine whether or not they may be over- or underweight. Now, there have been several critiques of the BMI system, particularly regarding athletes– muscle is more dense than fat, so some of the fittest people in the world classify as morbidly obese under the system. It also wasn’t designed for anime characters with unrealistic weight expectations (seriously how tf was Mukuro 5’7”/169 cm and 97 lbs/44 kg she should've been DEAD long before the Spears of Gungir).

Because of how unreliable this method is, I won’t be giving any characters XX on this one no matter how far off they are. However, I will be giving one X to anybody who is more than two points off of Arei’s BMI. Because Arei clocks in at 19.5, that means anyone in the range of 17.5-21.5 would be safe.

Weirdly enough, with that range, the only two people who get an X in the weight category are the same people who passed the height category, J (22) and Whit (22). Arturo (21.5), Charles (21), David (21), Eden (20), and Rose (20) all have fairly similar proportions to Arei.

Issue #7: Arei’s Build

Speaking of muscles, Arei’s the Ultimate Bowler, dammit! She’s a professional athlete, and Rose even points out her strength during the arm wrestling contest.

Although I don’t think that the killer would need to expect to demonstrate Arei’s strength (or especially her bowling skills) when in disguise, you can still gauge how muscular someone is just from looking at them. For example, were Levi an option, he would be way too muscular to pass off as Arei.

This point becomes a lot easier to score with the official strength chart that the creator released in the Chapter 2 Part 1 Q&A!

I know that the creator warned us to not take this diagram too seriously, but for the sake of fun speculation, I think that this semi-canon material is the best we have to go off of. Not to mention, each section is only one point out of fourteen overall. If we're a little off here, it'll be okay.

Besides, I suspect that they put in that warning more so for people who do intense math about crime theories (like people who calculate that anyone who lifted Arei’s body using a single pulley system would have to be able to lift approximately 64 lbs/29 kg what who said that). It's understandable if they didn’t complete a physics thesis paper on exactly how a drop of blood would fall on a cashmere sweater when it’s a humid July day and the victim ate sauerkraut ice cream earlier.

Jokes aside, I’ll say that anyone in the fit to average range would be able to pass as Arei at a glance. That means that David and J are a-okay. Arturo, Charles, Rose, and Whit all get one X for being out of shape. Eden gets XX for being even more out of shape than the out of shape people.

Issue #8: Arei’s Voice

Out of all the voices in the cast, I think that Arei has one of the highest pitches. Thus, if the killer was suddenly called upon to speak as Arei, they would need to possess the ability to speak in a high pitched voice to even have a chance of mimicking Arei.

You could argue that the killer would go in with the intention of not ever speaking as Arei, but you have to remember that this killer was intentionally going out and being around people so that their disguise could be seen. A simple “how are you this morning?” or “did you get enough to eat?” could ruin your plans. You could choose to not respond, but part of the reason why people suspect that the Arei in this conversation isn’t Arei is because she doesn’t speak. AKA, Arei being quiet is out of character for her, and not speaking would immediately raise suspicion!

I’m giving David a XX because his voice is deep enough that I think he would seriously struggle to reach Arei’s pitch. Arturo, Charles, and Whit have deep enough voices that I think that they could easily be caught, but it wouldn't be so unreasonable that they couldn't give it a try. So, they get a regular X. Eden and Rose pass this test with flying colors. J has a lower voice among the girls, but I think she could speak in a higher pitch if she wasn’t so concerned with sounding girly, and her experience with actors might give her an edge.

Issue #9: Arei’s Wit

If “Arei” is forced to talk, then “she” also needs to sound like Arei when she does. Therefore, the killer needs to be someone who could mimic Arei’s personality to a certain degree– AKA, they need to bring the savage energy that Arei brings to her bullying roasts. After all, responding rudely is probably the best way to make sure that your interrogator shuts up and leaves you alone.

I’m just gonna run through this one in alphabetical order. Arturo insults people on the reg, so other than the fact that “Arei’s” insults might be a little more appearance-based than normal, he’d be fine. Charles has been seen trading verbal blows with Teruko, so I believe he could pull it off. David radiates so much theater kid energy that I’m sure he could pull Arei off as if it were the role of his life. Eden… is the first character here that I think might get an X. Her general personality is super nice, and even when she does oppose someone, it’s either out of sad desperation (like when she defends Arei in the second Class Trial) or in a silly way (like when she blackmails Teruko). Even if she decided to be mean for the sake of her murder scheme, I just don’t know if she has the killer instinct to come up with ruthless burns as quickly Arei does. While not as much as Arei, J is pretty blunt and rude, plus she’s had plenty of target practice with Arturo. Although Rose is very good at replicating paintings, I don’t think she’d have the energy or present-mindedness to replicate Arei’s personality, so she gets an X too. Whit has made jokes that come off as rude to others in the past (like Xander in the prologue, or Charles in the laundry scene), and he’s hung out with Arei a couple of times, so I think he could do it.

Issue #10: Arei’s Relationships

We’ve discussed somebody talking to Arei in the abstract, but now I want to get more specific. Right before the Class Trial occurred, Arei made some very notable relationships with people that were not made public knowledge– namely, her emotional reliance on David, her unwavering loyalty to Eden, and her defensive feud with Arturo.

The Arturo one isn’t really a problem, as just being normally mean to Arturo would probably suffice. But what if David came up to her at lunch, put a hand on her shoulder, and asked her how she was doing? If “Arei” started insulting him or manipulating him, he would immediately suspect something was up.

Considering that, as the evidence stands, I’m pretty sure no one character (other than Arei) definitely knew about all three of these relationships prior to the Class Trial, I could give everyone an X. However, there is a way you can bypass this– if the killer was confident that they knew about the way Arei felt about everyone, even if they were actually wrong.

I was already going to give Eden, David, and Arturo a pass for knowing about at least some of the relationships, but under this lens, it’s even more believable. Eden is in the best position, given that she knows about herself and Arturo, and at least saw David there when she ran away. Given that Arei thought of her as a friend, it’s also possible that Arei would have mentioned to Eden that David was the one who motivated her to defend Eden. David knew about Arei’s relationship with himself, and knew that she planned to patch things up with Eden. He didn’t have any reason to suspect anything weird with Arturo, but again, the relationship didn’t change all that much. Arturo would have struggled with David, but he at least knew about himself and Eden. I believe he could have been overly confident in assuming that Arei hated everyone other than Eden, so I’ll let him slide.

However, I think Charles, Whit, Rose, and J would all get an X. Charles is a smart guy who I can’t remember ever talking to Arei one on one, so I find it hard to believe that he believed he knew everything there was to know about Arei’s relationships. Whit spent more time with Arei, but he’s also more emotionally aware– he knows how complex people are, and therefore probably wouldn’t bank on nailing how Arei feels when he’s spent so much time off with Charles. Rose is often asleep and therefore misses out on a lot of the daily life. She sometimes can’t even remember who people are period, so I doubt she’d have the confidence to believe she understood Arei’s relationships. J is definitely the closest on this point, given that she’s interacted with Arei a decent amount and is pretty confident in herself. However, she’s pretty practical (just like her effects), so it’s still enough of a stretch that I’d give her the X.

Issue #11: The Killer’s Skill

This category asks, “how much does this plan rely on the talents included in the killer’s own Ultimate ability?” Don’t get me wrong– not every case, canon or fanon, needs to utilize part of the killer’s Ultimate talent. For instance, Mondo didn’t use any skills involved in being the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader when he killed Chihiro, unless you count his overall strength and attitude.

I’m actually asking this because I think that the disguise plan makes a lot of sense with J’s talent, the Ultimate Effects Artist. As I’ve explained before, J specializes in practical theater effects, which would make her far and away the best at pulling off the visual magic needed to make herself look like Arei. So, what of everyone else?

Think about it this way: imagine if you were playing the first case of Trigger Happy Havoc, and you learn that the blackened threw Hiro’s crystal ball at the buttons to make the Trash Room open. Then, you deduce, aha! Taka must be the culprit! In this universe, you’re right, and Taka is executed. But, wouldn’t it be weird if Taka committed the crime doing something that lined up exactly with Leon’s skill, and there was no focus given to it at all?

If someone was killing Arei and using J’s talent to do it, I would expect that they would be doing it with the intention of framing J. And I don’t think that anything else in this case purposefully makes it look like J did it, even if J actually did do it. Thus, I feel justified in giving Arturo, Charles, David, Eden, Rose, and Whit Xs for this category.

Issue #12: The Killer’s Absence

In my mind, the theoretical point of dressing up as Arei is so that, if you killed or otherwise incapacitated Arei earlier in the murder process, nobody would find it suspicious that she was gone. That, of course, raises another question– what if people find it suspicious that you are gone? Because of that, I think that the killer is someone who would have to be able to slip away from the group relatively unnoticed.

Charles and Whit are giving each other Xs here. Since the beginning of Chapter 2, it seems like these two hang out with each other pretty much 24/7. If one of them was gone, the other would certainly notice. (I’m excluding the possibility of one of them being an accomplice for the other because I find it incredibly implausible for actual murder- and character-related reasons.) Not to mention the incredibly gay funny sequence of events in the second Class Trial where David questions if anybody could really have a solid alibi for the entire day, then Charles says that he was with Whit for the entire day, and David doesn’t even bat an eye. In theory, this also means that Charles and Whit were actually together for the entire day, which means that it probably should be impossible for either of them to have been Arei during the scene at lunch. ...Oops?. Speaking of spending the day together, though…

J and Arturo are also exchanging Xs. If J was busy dressing up as Arei all day, Arturo would have been roaming the halls calling her name. And even if J would enjoy Arturo being gone for a day, she would certainly remember it. She even says as much in the Class Trial:

Given that the “that time period” J is talking about is around 7:30 PM, it’s not fully impossible that either of them could have been Arei at lunch. However, they would still both generally notice the absence of the other, so they get an X.

I think Eden, David, and Rose all get passes, though. Eden is a generally sociable person who likes to talk to others, but she doesn’t have one particular person she’s attached to as much as Charles and Whit/J and Arturo are. The person who would probably be most likely to notice would either be Arei, but she would be dead/incapacitated, or Hu, who was dealing with Nico and Ace at the time. Plus, if she was absent from one conversation, people would probably just assume she was talking to someone else somewhere else. David also generally seemed to get along with people, but also seemed to spend a lot of time alone. Rose… really doesn’t have a lot of close friends, and also isn’t much of a talker. If she was gone, people would probably just assume she was off sleeping somewhere.

Issue #13: The Arturo Pass

Arturo is a plastic surgeon, a profession which looks at the smallest details of a person’s face and tweaks them, even in slight ways, to make them look their conventional best. Or, essentially, if something is even the slightest bit off about Arei’s face, Arturo could probably pick it up from a mile away.

Now, I know that Arturo did not appear in the specific conversation in which Teruko saw “Arei” being quiet. However, there’s no reason that the killer would have to believe that they couldn’t run into Arturo unless they were Arturo, right? Anybody could come into the Cafeteria, so unless the killer did something to stop him, Arturo could have come, too. Since we can’t prove that Arturo and the killer meeting did or didn’t happen, I think we have to assume it was a possibility.

Therefore, I think that all candidates except Arturo fail here because it’s unlikely that they could stand up to Arturo’s scrutiny. Additionally, I would say that J doubly fails because Arturo has spent so much time staring at her face specifically. It’s possible that he could have forgotten what the rest of the casts’ ugly mugs look like, throwing them all into the pile of disgusting rejection. But there’s no way that he wouldn’t be able to recognize Julia’s glowing beauty under the makeup and clothing that makes her look horrifying.

To summarize, Arturo passes his own check because he would have no reason to call himself out, J gets a XX because of how tuned in Arturo is to how she looks, and everybody else (Charles, David, Eden, Rose, Whit) gets a regular X for being ugly in their own unique ways.

Issue #14: The Rose Pass

Same as before, except even worse. Remember when I said we were coming back to the “one inch in either direction could fool most people” thing? We know that Rose can canonically notice 1/16th in (0.16 cm) growths in people, so having literally anything off here could spell death.

I am aware that Rose is sleepy, forgets what people look like sometimes, and is somewhat absent minded. So, let me address those concerns as best I can.

For the first, recall that this is the day where Teruko wakes up four hours late. Therefore, when she enters the Cafeteria, it’s actually closer to noon than it is to morning. Even if the killer was only dressed up as Arei around the time of that meal, we already know that she was awake at that time– Teruko leaves the Cafeteria and runs into Rose around the Gym directly afterward.

For the second and third, we only know that she only forgot about who J was before the first Class Trial. I would expect that after a murder actually occurred, she would be much more aware of her surroundings, and more likely to remember what people look like. She has nightmares about the trial and execution, which every student (except Xander) attended. With her photographic memory, I would expect that she would remember exactly what they looked like at that time. Not to mention that, under my system, everybody has at least one unrelated X. Those are all things that would stick out, which Rose is much more likely to notice than something that’s normal.

That’s my longwinded way to explain that pretty much everyone (Arturo, Charles, David, Eden, J, Whit) is getting an X here. Rose doesn’t because she, again, would not have to worry about running into herself.

The Grand Summary!

So, in the end, we see that (drumroll please…)

DAVID COULD FUCKING PASS AS AREI ARE YOU KIDDING ME–

Ahem. Well, with my analysis today, we have proven that nobody in the cast could have been dressing up as Arei at the time of that lunch conversation… other than David fucking Chiem, apparently. Now, keep in mind that he is just barely hitting under fifty percent here, and that he double failed on the voice.

But, uh, there you go, swap theorists. If anybody was going to swap with Arei, it would have been David. I look forward to seeing everybody’s theories about how David is the true killer of Chapter 2 via crossdressing.

Tip: I am so fucking mad. See ya, everybody– thanks for reading!

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phantomoftheorpheum · 3 months ago

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The Umbrella Academy Season 4 Review/Critique

Fair warning- this is ridiculously long. If you expand this post and don't actually want to read it, it will be a pain in the ass to scroll through; I would advise against it.

Just to be 100% clear, these are my opinions and interpretations of the show. If you don't want to see criticism (and quite a lot of it) or read a pretty raw, unfiltered/unedited review of the season, this is not for you. This is a casual platform, so I tend to just let myself think out loud on these posts, meaning that I don't go back and heavily edit my thoughts. I may express ideas for the storylines that would need some refining, I'm generally just spitballing.

This is a very criticism heavy post, I have a lot of issues with this season, so if that will upset you, please just don't bother to read this. I will be tagging anti tags (due to the large amount of criticism I have for the show) for filtering purposes.

*** Spoilers for all 4 seasons of Umbrella Academy ***

Good Stuff First

I always like to start with my favorite stuff from the show, because usually if I am bothering to critique, it means I have a lot of criticisms, but I always want to acknowledge what the show does well before I start getting into what it does not do well.

Individual Characters & Dynamics - In particular, I thought Klaus's unique character voice was present and well written and the performance continued to be top notch (I have some criticisms about the actual storyline, but I think Robert nailed what he was given from an acting standpoint). Many of the specific dialogue and character dynamics felt consistent to earlier seasons, which can be difficult with such a wacky show. There are definitely some characters who were able to shine, regardless of what they were given.

Visuals/Sets - The show still looks as good as it ever has. It's never been groundbreaking cinematography, but you can feel the budget in the aesthetics of the show. It has been able to maintain this weird "almost our world, but not quite" reality in a visual manner since season 1. It has a distinct style and look. The sets largely feel big and textured and expansive, even when they're fairly simple. I like that we've at least glimpsed the house in every season.

Tone/Humor - The Umbrella Academy is weird. It has always been weird. It must be weird or else it would feel... bad weird? It does succeed in continuing to be weird AF. I like that the show isn't afraid to be incredibly strange. It is a show that swings big. The humor is still there. Humor is hard, and I think they hit more often than they miss.

Family Road Trip - The group dynamic, family bickering, montage effect of 4x02, etc. was one of the lighter and more enjoyable choices made in season 4. The bit of "annoying song stuck on a loop" that continued to crop up throughout the season worked for me.

Abigail Completely Failing at Being Gene - This is only a very small part of the season, but Nick Offerman playing an alien cloaked in a (very weird) human skin and very poorly pulling it off added some levity while it lasted.

Soundtrack - While I think there are fewer distinctly standout tracks for this season (but this is entirely a personal opinion, maybe others feel differently), the show's commitment to its distinctive sound and use of music is still solid. I particularly appreciated the callbacks to season 1, obviously I Think We're Alone Now, but also by selecting Dead To The World in 4x06 for Five (I prefer In The Heat Of The Moment as a song, personally, but the choice was very clever). This is a show that I genuinely like to go listen to the soundtrack of after the season, and I intend to do that with this season as well (except for the Christmas stuff, I am not a big Christmas songs person).

The Cast - This is related to point one, but I really think 99% of the cast did they best they could with the material they had to work with.

Despite all my criticisms, I still found myself sad to be at the end of the journey. And I think that says something about the strength of these characters. A perfect journey? No. But one I'm still glad that I took.

My Criticisms

I want to start by saying that if I bother to critique something, that means I believe it has enough potential to be worth discussing. If it didn't, I absolutely would not bother. So while I think this is going to come off quite harshly, it is coming from a place of "I love what this show can be when it's at its best, and here's how I personally think we could have been closer to its best."

A lot of times when I write up my thoughts about a show, I start with my most specific criticisms, and as I examine those, it points me to a bigger underlying issue. Sometimes I work the other way around, thinking about the larger elements I have criticisms of, then searching out examples. But in this case, either way, I find myself ending up at the same place with the same issue, and that issue (perhaps ironically for this particular show) is time.

I believe the largest issue with season 4 is time management, crafting storylines that are interconnected and therefore justify their screen time, and pacing. Yes, I have some criticisms that could not be fixed with better time management, but a lot of my issues lead back to this. Pacing is always a tricky element, is at the top of many criticism lists of many shows, and has been at the top of my list for several shows I reviewed this year. Pacing issues seem to be cropping up more and more with streaming service based shows on all platforms, and I don't think that's coincidental. But, imo, Netflix is our best example.

One of the greatest strengths of Netflix Originals, back when they first started, was the guarantee of a full season before a cancellation. Because they had no feedback on a show before producing and releasing an entire season, there were no early mid-season cancellations. This allowed writers a little more room to stretch out, knowing they wouldn't walk into work the next day and be told they have 2 or 3 episodes to wrap up a story, or worse, wake up to just no job at all. So while the seasons were shorter, the time was guaranteed. Many of Netflix's early properties, particularly if their first season was successful, were greenlit for multiple seasons at a time, a practice which has been all but abandoned (Bridgerton and Stranger Things have been afforded this luxury in recent years, but few other shows). But as Netflix (and other streaming services) got its legs under itself, it came to realize that there was more profit in producing the first season of many shows, then cancelling all but the most successful. This epidemic of unfinished stories has been spreading rapidly. Now, not only does Netflix have an extremely high cancellation rate and rarely renews a show for more than a season at a time, it has also been shortening seasons, bringing down production costs, and trying to minimize risk and maximize "safe" profits. Minimizing risk in favor of maximizing safe profits rarely results in good art. Which explains a lot.

And so, unfortunately, I think The Umbrella Academy is a casualty of this increasingly mercenary system. Not only was it forced to make creative decisions with the constant threat of "This could be the end, but you won't know it until after it airs, so it also has to work as not the end," during the first three seasons, but though it got warning of its final season, it received a limited run to complete the show. Now, I can't fault anyone for wanting to write each season as a possible ending, considering how often Netflix cancels shows. Is this smart? Yes. Is this also limiting? Yes. And shows like The Umbrella Academy, with universes that become increasingly complicated with increasingly detailed lore, suffer quite a lot when trying to contain a story to each individual season. And finale seasons are particularly difficult. Expectations are high. Netflix's production model gives audiences years to build up their anticipation for the finale. Too much time to think, to pick holes in what has already been created, to cool to something they were once passionate about. Delivering a genuinely satisfying finale under these circumstances would be a daunting task.

But with all that being said. Season 4 only has 6 episodes, and it somehow manages to waste so much time. I don't know what's in the water over at Netflix, because I don't know if anyone knows how to waste limited time like Netflix does. If it weren't so irritating, it would almost be impressive.

The truth is, very few of the main characters really matter to the overarching plot of the season, which is a very weird choice, particularly in a final season. It's basically Ben, Jennifer (who we barely know and just met), Hargreeves, Abigail, and tangentially Viktor. Five & Lila are basically completely taken out of play for an episode and a half, where their actions have practically no relevance to the main plot, and the critical information Five gets while using his "new" power could easily have happened without this storyline. Luther & Diego are similarly sidelined by the CIA storyline. And, again, Klaus & Allison are occupied with a side plot that removes them from the main conflict of the season and does not tie in to the finale.

I do not mind the centering of Ben & Jennifer for a season of the show in theory, but with only 6 episodes to tell this story, I think it was a stretch to believe they had the time to do this plotline justice and waste so much time elsewhere. I don't know if this was solely a me issue, but I just... didn't care about Jennifer. I mean, sure, I rooted for her in a passive "she seems nice" kind of way, but even by the end we barely know anything about her. I can live with a "cosmic connection" insta-love situation between Ben & Jennifer (not my favorite trope, but it can be okay), but just because Ben instantly connects with Jennifer, that doesn't mean the audience does. And, to make matters worse, this version of Ben is one that we don't know that well, anyway. Like... his defining character trait is that he's mean and angry. I didn't mind that in season 3, as he was new to us and at odds with our protagonists for most of the season, but we don't really learn much new about him in season 4, either. The bit of Ben's history that we get is from Umbrella Ben, not Sparrow Ben. And Sparrow Ben's personality and history isn't touched on. Why is he like this? It's never explored, not beyond the shallow "the Sparrow Academy wasn't raised as the family that the Umbrella Academy was" that was established in season 3. The fact that we know so little about this version of Ben makes it harder for me to connect with him, as well. So to center these two characters in the final season, and then not even give us scenes to flesh them out as individuals, it just feels like such a waste of time. It didn't need to be Ben and Jennifer. In fact, it very much felt like it was only Ben and Jennifer because everyone has always wanted them to tie "the Jennifer incident" into everything. Again, I think this plot could work fine if given the correct amount of screen time, but as it is, it feels rushed and shallow. We might care about Sparrow Ben (might), but we don't have much reason to care about Jennifer.

Lack of direction - There are only six episodes in this season! Every minute needs to be used wisely. This should be the most focused of all the seasons, every storyline streamlined to tie into the finale of the show. Which is the opposite of what we got. For the vast majority of the show, nothing Klaus or Allison does matters. Nothing Diego or Luther does matters. Nothing Five or Lila does matters. Sure, those storylines touch on individual character development, but when you're planning to kill everyone off in a couple hours anyway, why are we starting down unconnected character arcs that are destined to be left hanging? Every bit of interpersonal character development should be written in a way that ties into the finale plot of the show, so scenes can pull double duty and maximize the limited time available. What was the purpose of Lila and Diego fighting (other than to physically separate them)? What did they learn? How did they change or grow? They didn't. They are split apart, sent down different dead end roads, only to be gathered back up in time to die. They speak words of understanding, but we don't actually get to see them learn or put those changes into practice.

I think about it this way- if Lila and Five had gotten lost into the weird limbo subway system and we never saw what happened to them, and instead they just reappeared from that adventure for the finale, would that fundamentally change anything about how the show’s main plot plays out? No. It wouldn’t. If Klaus had stormed off in 4x03 and Allison had gone after him and we’d never seen either of them again until the finale, would that fundamentally change anything about how the show’s main plot plays out? No. It wouldn’t. If Diego and Luther had gotten their CIA passes and walked into that building and vanished from the story until the final episode of the show, would that fundamentally change anything about how the show’s main plot plays out? No. It wouldn’t. Even Viktor, who is directly addressing the main plot point of Ben & Jennifer’s connection becoming apocalyptic, has very little impact on that storyline leading up to the finale. He speaks to Ben once, he insists on trying to save Ben, and spends the rest of the time working through personal issues with his dad or being attacked in a sequence that has no consequences. The conflicts that these characters encounter have very little bearing on the physical events of the show (they get shot at, they escape. They fight, they escape. They are chased, they escape) and what are the specific consequences? There aren’t any. Viktor gets to use his powers to save Hargreeves and gets shot (I think??) doing it, but he’s fine, and it doesn’t change their approach or goals in any way. Five and Lila are trapped together for years and have a romantic relationship, but then they “go home” and it doesn’t lead to any of the characters deeply changing or acting notably differently in the following events (Five and Diego fight at a bad time, we get a funny reaction from the other siblings, etc. but it doesn't change anything) and then it is never truly resolved. Luther and Diego go to the CIA and this plot is used as a vehicle to reveal the villainy of Five’s boss (so??), but ultimately Luther and Diego get a big fight sequence, learn very little, and take up a lot of screen time for a reveal that could easily have happened in seconds. None of their actions in this storyline blatantly effects the outcome of the show. And Diego feels set up for some character work, but all it really leads to is him being like "I get it," and that change never getting a chance to be actionable. Allison and Klaus reconcile, but only after a lot of screen time is spent on another side quest. Do they really change as people from this story? We don't know because there's not enough time to see. This is clearly not a legit substitution for actually addressing the issues between them, but we don’t have time to do that, either. Not to mention, the conflict between Klaus and Allison isn’t some slow burn issue. It’s doesn’t exist before this season. What is the point of any of these plot lines? Why send Allison and Klaus off together to resolve issues that we only just found out exist, when Allison has canonically been estranged from all of her other siblings since the events of season 3? That is blatantly an unresolved issue, but instead of using her screen time to address her season 3 actions, they create a whole new issue for her and Klaus to fight and then reconcile about. Wouldn’t it be much more interesting to see Allison and Viktor work through their issues once and for all? Or to address all of the ways Allison betrayed Luther in season 3? What about Klaus reconnecting with this version of Ben? What about Luther working through being betrayed by his father? What about Diego and Lila actually being parents? What about really getting to see how this life that Allison sold them all out for isn't even the dream she thought it would be? What if, instead of getting a montage of Lila & Five’s romance, we got a montage of Jennifer and Ben finding and destroying each other in many different worlds? You want to sell me on this tragic, cosmic connection between them? Okay. Sell me on it. Make it hurt.

Five - I'm just going to be brutally honest here- I believe Five is the strongest driving force of the show and his sidelining in season 4 was a huge mistake. Five might not be the emotional core of The Umbrella Academy, but he is absolutely central and critical to what has worked well in previous seasons. And yet, in season 4, he's pushed to the side and basically written out of the main plot for half of 4x04 and all of 4x05. And then, even when he is around, he's lost a lot of the elements that make him a fan favorite. Let's talk about that- in season 1, Five's return and his mission is where it all kicks off. Yes, technically the inciting incident is Hargreeves' death, but gathering the family without Five's arrival would have been useless and led nowhere. Five drives the entire plot of season 1, while the rest of the siblings get character arcs around him. He makes things happen. He withholds information from his siblings and from the audience. Without him moving the plot forward and tying things together, season 1 would have been a disjointed mess. In season 2, we follow Five's attempts to reunite the family and fix yet another doomsday. Again, he is the one that pushes the plot forward, while the other siblings wander down various other storylines (which is not to say that they are not involved and don't contribute, just that they don't move the plot along to the same degree). In season 3, Five attempts to "retire," but pretty quickly he's back in the thick of things in search of answers and solutions. He is set against Hargreeves in an intellectual face off and is ultimately the one who pieces together the hotel's puzzle. He also discovers that he is, essentially, his own nemesis and behind a lot of what happened in previous seasons (a storyline that feels like it had a lot more to give, possibly, but is abandoned and explained away as "something a version of him did in some timelines,"). But in season 4, Five is... Well, he's suddenly not that relevant. He starts out fine, undercover and attempting to infiltrate The Keepers, and he does push the initial plot forward with his investigation, but then he just drops off the map (literally and figuratively). Five, who has always been the character to seek out answers and the character the audience trails through the bigger plot points of the story, is suddenly out of play. Now we're watching him wander around the multiverse (presumably for an attempt at character development, which ultimately falls flat) where he learns nothing important and falls unconvincingly in love with his brother's wife for an episode and half. Why? Because... they didn't know what to do with him? Honestly, I can't explain why. Five's acerbic wit, his tendency to be one step ahead of the audience, his cockiness, the uncanny personality that is a quirk of being an old man trapped in a young man's body, his absolutely brutal and ruthless methods to protect his family, and his cool fight scenes, it all just vanishes. Suddenly, for the first time, he feels the age of the actor. He feels erased long before he literally is. After 3 seasons of him having one of the coolest powers that leads to some of the coolest scenes, we're suddenly in a world where everyone else has some useful version of their power, while Five's kind of sucks. And like his teleporting power only reappearing at the very end (spurred on to save Lila specifically, rather than his family, because ???), Five's personality is frequently missing. Which leads me to-

Five and Lila - This may be a controversial opinion, but in concept this could have worked. Am I mad at the idea that two characters who are stuck together for years with no one else as company might fall in love, even if they're an odd pairing? No. Like I said, it's okay in concept. But only in concept. In reality, there was neither the time, nor the necessary casting to make this storyline hit properly. Regardless of Five's character's age, or the fact that his actor is (technically) an adult now, this felt flat out wrong to watch. Not only does Five still very much look like a teenager (inevitable, as while Aidan has aged over the course of filming the show, the age of young Five would now, still, vastly outstrip his real age of 20), but we also know that Lila was introduced to him as a child. Lila and Five meet in season 2, in which he is (physically) still a 13 year old boy, while Lila is an adult woman (considering she has the same birthday as the rest of the Umbrella Academy, this would put her at approximately 30 years old at this time). Yes, the exact ages of these characters is a bit messy to track, but no amount of text on the screen telling me so many years have passed is going to allow me to forget this detail, which makes this whole situation, at best, deeply uncomfortable. The fifteen year age gap between the actors is incredibly evident, and this romance is ultimately completely unnecessary for them to evolve in the (frankly minimal) ways that they do. They also pretty brutally sacrificed Diego's character for this. All of Diego's negative traits are cranked up to 100 this season, while Lila's are generally turned down to a low simmer (until she nearly dooms everyone to a meaningless death). While I don't think their relationship being on the rocks, or either of their character's struggle to fit into domestic life, is a bad idea, I again find myself questioning what the point of this storyline was for this particular season. We don't get much of a conclusion. Diego is basically a buffoon all season, Lila is less blatantly fucked up most of the time and also somehow less likable for it, and Five feels out of place in this storyline. Why did we do this? As far as I can tell, it's because they didn't have any other ideas to keep these characters busy while the actual plot happens around them. That's really not a good reason to blow up a dysfunctional but well liked dynamic (Diego and Lila) and never even bother to mop up the blood. And that leads me to-

Lila - Just, in general, I found myself asking "who in the writer's room is ridiculously obsessed with Lila, because that is the only explanation for any of this." For example, Klaus names everybody's problems and can't think of any real issues for Lila?? LILA? Her erratic, risk taking behavior and serious mommy/family issues are the most intensely Lila thing about her?? This is what her entire character is built upon? Why are we acting like she's not been a complete wildcard for the last two seasons?? Her new power doesn't make any kind of sense. Everyone else basically got some version of their old power back (and we eventually learn that Lila does have that power back as well, despite wildly underusing it), but now she has laser eyes.... Because? Her inability to properly control the laser eyes is funny, but also doesn't make any sense. In previous seasons we see Lila quickly adapt to using new powers only moments after acquiring them. If there is any one single person in this whole show who should have adapted to a new power immediately, it would be Lila. And somehow, for some reason, they center Lila during the finale conflict. Everything rests on her decision to stay or go. On her connection to her family (despite us barely seeing her in a room with them all season), instead of literally any of the main Umbrellas we've been following all along. And she gets the last line of dialogue from our main characters. We spend an extended sequence watching The Umbrella Academy slowly sacrifice themselves and Lila gets the last word?? And all of this is coming from someone who actually really loved Lila in seasons 2 and 3. She was one of my favorite characters coming into this season, but this... It just felt blatantly disrespectful to all the other main characters.

Everyone Dying is a Bummer - Okay, don't get me wrong, I'm not set against tragic endings in general, but... I don't think The Umbrella Academy earned this ending (at least not in this way). This idea of the world being better off without them, like they are a mistake that fundamentally ruins the world and must choose to sacrifice themselves in the name of saving humanity, that would (could) be fine. Except that it doesn't feel thematically well supported by the previous seasons, or even just season 4. At its heart, seasons 1-3 followed the ups and downs of Five's journey to save his siblings from the apocalypse, even though they are the ones to cause it. This is his entire goal. He wavers, he actively tries to walk away from this, but he cannot help himself, he always comes back around to this goal. This is what we buy into in season 1. So the idea that this is impossible and that they all must die anyway, feels antithetical to why we are asked to care in the first place. We haven't been asked to care about the world (not in any tangible sense). We watch random, innocent people, or vaguely antagonistic people, get killed in horrible ways left and right in the show and we are not asked to care. We're often asked to laugh. We care about them saving the world because we care about them saving the family, this dysfunctional group of oddballs. Sure, on a very basic and fundamental level we don't want humanity to be wiped out, but the humanity of the surrounding world is never deeply touched upon in the show. And their death wipes out infinite universes. We're told this is "right," but we don't tie any real emotional stakes to it.

Season 4, which centers around saving (or failing to save) Ben and Jennifer, around Viktor's desire to find another way because he loves his brother (even this version of him) and his siblings have always fought so hard to find another way because they love Viktor, asks us to care for these same reasons. Not for the world, but because we care about these particular characters. And the writers decide to sideline Five, whose centering I believe is absolutely essential to pulling off a "they must all die at the end" storyline to begin with. Why? Because he's the one who has fought so hard to save them. To have him not be at the center of the storyline where saving them is not possible makes absolutely no sense. Do I think that a final season where we follow Five coming to the conclusion that they are all doomed could possibly work? Yeah, if they had (and here it is again) the time to dig into that story and show us how he grapples with and fights that resolution tooth and nail until he cannot anymore (they point at it with the diner scene, but don't have the time to let us feel the weight of it). But they don't do that. We don't get to follow him throughout a season trying to cope with this impossible truth. Instead, he accepts that fate in a matter of onscreen minutes and with immediate resignation. (Yes, you could argue this is what he has been doing the last 3 seasons, but we're never truly given the impression that he is trying to prevent an absolute inevitability, only that he is trying to prevent a specific reality). It undermines the foundation of his character, and because Five is the driving force of the first three seasons, it undermines the foundation of those storylines as well. With the limited amount of time they were given to wrap up this show, instead of ending with a "everyone must sacrifice themselves" storyline, I would have, instead, centered Five's personal journey in season 4, which concludes with him realizing there can be one universe in which his family can all live, but only if he dies. They live, but he must sacrifice himself and be erased from existence so they will never mourn him, never know him, never know to be grateful. What could be more fitting for the show, more simultaneously sad and happy, than Five achieving what he set out to do in 1x01 and saving his family and that costing him everything?

Now... how to work that in and fill in some major plot holes at the same time? Well, I have some ideas, but I'm gonna save them for a different post, because while writing this review, I found myself re-outlining season 4 and trying to fix some of nonsensical elements of this season and if I get into that, it needs its own post. But I think it could be done. And speaking of nonsensical events.... Why do the Umbrellas have to die now? Like, logistically speaking, if The Cleanse is a necessary event and every single other world except the "perfect" timeline ends in apocalypse, then why can't they jump on that subway to a different universe where they have more time to be really, truly sure that's the only answer? At the very least they would have had a chance to really say goodbye to each other. We know there are plenty of universes where Ben & Jennifer both exist, there's no reason it has to be now. Since there are infinite "wrong" universes, they have all the time in the world. This is not a decision that has to be made exclusively in this moment, despite being portrayed that way. They don't die, The Cleanse doesn't work, they fact check their solution in a different universe, they get a chance to say their goodbyes, etc. etc. The urgency makes no sense. For that matter, why doesn't Five blip them all down to the subway where the show has already established in this season that time does not pass, so they can have a real conversation about this? There is literally no reason not to do this. They, quite literally, have a character who can take them to a timeless limbo where they can take as much time as they want/need to sort this out. They, quite literally, have that character take an entire family to this place, proving that he is capable of bringing a group of people there, and they don't use it.

It Doesn't Get Better - One of the major themes of Umbrella Academy is dysfunctional family and the way we cope (or don't) with childhood trauma. How burying that pain is destructive and hurts the people around us. And while I don't think the show's intent was to send the ultimate message of, "Actually, it doesn't get better, you'll never heal those wounds, and your existence is a destructive mistake," that's... kind of what it implies anyway. Throughout the whole show we explore the ways these characters are trying to work through the abusive household they grew up in, to move past the things that happened to them, and we watch them process and come together as a family and stand up against their abuser and grow into better versions of themselves and lose their way and pick each other back up. And then we're told that it doesn't matter because they all have to die. It sends a strange message. Personally, I think the show may not ever have intended to really send a message at all. It's absurd and irreverent and tragic and silly. It has never shied away from violence. It's always had a bit of a flippant nihilism hanging about it. And I think there is an argument for "People don't always get what they deserve. Sometimes they just get the short end of the stick and it sucks, but that's just how it is," being an underlying theme worth exploring. It's just... they don't really explore it, they just kind of dump it on us at the end. And because we don't have time to come to terms with this messaging (time, it's all about time), I think a lot of people feel like there's this bait & switch happening. For the last 3 seasons, we've been watching a show that is constantly addressing this childhood trauma and a toxic family dynamic, but then the end of that show is like "and all of these kids are a casualty of their abuser's arrogance and there was literally, not from the moment they were born, anything they ever could have done to grow away from that." It's pretty fucking bleak, to say the least.

Plot Holes For Days - There are more plot holes in this show than a block of Swiss Cheese. There are so many, that I'm still mentally trying to sort out an ending that feels... somewhat in the spirit of what season 4 was intending, and doesn't leave us up to our eyeballs in nonsensical plot points. For example- in The Umbrella's original universe, they already changed things so that they don't exist anymore long before the apocalypse. One of the major plot points of season 3 is that Harlan accidentally killed The Umbrellas' mothers before they were even born (obviously this is a paradox, as Harlan could never do that without meeting Viktor). But Hargreeves was still able to adopt Marigold enhanced children! Marigold kids were still born! We're told in 1x01 that 43 women spontaneously gave birth without having been pregnant, but we're supposed to believe that The Umbrellas, right here and now, have definitely got all of the Marigold in this universe? (And that doesn't even get into the questions surrounding the Marigold's presence in this world, since The Umbrellas did not bring it with them, we see no sign of other super powered versions of them existing in this universe, but if it didn't already exist here in some capacity and no children were born with these powers, then there's nothing inherently wrong with this universe, meaning the apocalypse wouldn't need to happen, and on and on and on. Like if all the Marigold was just in that jar and that counts as being in this world, then they could have just chucked that thing at Jennifer and bam, problem solved.) We know that in the original timeline Hargreeves didn't adopt all the Marigold children, because that's the entire point of Lila's backstory. And what about the other 35 women who spontaneously gave birth and those kids? So how could The Umbrellas possibly know if they are destroying all the Marigold by sacrificing themselves in this world? They can't know that. The existence of The Sparrows (and in another universe The Phoenix Academy) also implies that there could be many universes where The Umbrella kids don't all even exist, but other children were born with their powers, so specifically The Umbrella kids all dying isn't something that would need to be set in stone, since none of the other Marigold kids had to die for The Cleanse to work in this universe. Now, a lot of shows have plot holes or paradoxes or questions left at the end, and a lot of shows I would cut some slack. I'm even willing to ignore a lot of the smaller plot holes in this show, but this is the culmination of the entire series, the explanation for what must happen and why, and the justification for all our main characters being wiped out, and it just doesn't hold up under more than a moment's scrutiny. And that, imo, is a pretty big problem.

Gene & Jean/Villains - So, on a slightly lighter note, another thing that I don't have a problem with in concept is Gene & Jean. They're weird and quirky, as all Umbrella Academy villains seem to be, and I love both actors. It's just that season 4 has a serious problem with its villains in general. That is, there are too many of them and their plans are too convoluted. The ultimate villains being in some way connected back to Hargreeves (and specifically Abigail, who up until this point has had very little to justify her existence in the show) makes sense to me. But the absolutely convoluted mess that is The Keepers cult led by Gene & Jean being at odds with Hargreeves' men who are hiding Jennifer, being at odds with Abigail masquerading as Sy Grossman and then as Gene (I still don't understand why she needed to kill Gene or Jean, like Gene & Jean were already trying to bring about The Cleanse, why is she infiltrating them??), instead of using her resources/position as Hargreeves' wife, is ridiculously messy. The person I watched this season with actually asked me after 4x04 if I had any idea what was happening because they were completely lost. Generally, I am pretty patient about how a show shares information. I always assume that I am picking up what they're putting down, and if I don't understand something, I will when I'm supposed to. That... didn't always feel like the case to me this season. I don't think it was so much that it was hard to follow, but that it just didn't make a lot of sense. The "why" for so many character actions, but particularly the villains, just never fully materializes. Abigail and Hargreeves' sides are fighting in this season, with him attempting to prevent the apocalypse and her trying to bring it about... But what is the justification for the completely convoluted nonsensical path it takes to get there? She seems to have plenty of power over Hargreeves when the kids visit. Why does she need to infiltrate The Keepers? Why do The Keepers need to exist at all? It's just a coincidence that they have the same goals as Abigail? If she actually started them, then I assume she would have installed herself into the organization and not needed Gene to infiltrate it. I don't understand her choices. There were many, many simpler ways to get where they ended up.

So... it's not as if The Umbrella Academy is the first show to do this ending. In fact, one of my favorite shows of all time does this ending (not mentioning it by name because that would be a massive spoiler, obviously). I think this ending is completely possible to pull off. But I also am neither convinced from an in-universe logical point, nor from a storyteller's point, that it earned this ending. Did I want it to be a happily ever after? No. I don't think that would fit tonally with the show. But I wanted it to feel necessary, truly inevitable, and both physically and thematically, I don't buy that it was.

My advice to anyone who was starting this show for the first time would have to be, "don't think too hard about it," because ultimately, if you do it will crumble. Just enjoy the vibes and the bickering and the comedy and strangeness. There's no point in asking too many questions. And for some people, that's totally okay. That's enough. I'm just (shockingly) not one of those people.

So, if you're still with me, I'd love to hear what you guys think. Did you feel emotionally fulfilled? Were there particular plot points you loved or hated? What was your favorite musical choice of season 4? Should I release my redesigned season 4 outline? What ending would you have chosen? I'm open to all opinions! I don't agree with all opinions, but I will very much consider them.

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would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend · 5 months ago

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I'd like to know how a Porygon-Z would do as a pet. My favorite little creature :)

As with this species' pre-evolutions, porygon-z are a curious pet candidate. These pokémon are artificial, mostly digital beings, which makes them about as rare as they are behaviorally peculiar. If you do manage to adopt a porygon-z (or provide your porygon2 a Dubious Disc to allow them to evolve into one), I’m afraid there aren’t a lot of resources out there to help you with caring for them. It takes some pretty advanced programming to bring about a porygon-z, so finding one to adopt can be pretty expensive or will require some advanced computer engineering skills. This blog’s primary source of information, the pokédex, has hardly anything to say about this species. Because of this, this post may feel a little… cobbled together… but I’ll do my best to provide you with all the speculative information I can. The bottom line, though, is that porygon-z might make good pets for some owners, but their unpredictable behavior and abilities may make them more than most can handle.

Let’s start with the easy stuff. Porygon-z are a good size for a house pet. They’re far from too heavy, and their ability to levitate makes it easy for them to comfortable get around, even in smaller living spaces. You’re probably already wondering, though: how big a risk is there of a porygon-z wandering off into other forms of space. Porygons, after all, have the fascinating ability to traverse digital space, which can cause some issues when it comes to owning one as a pet (see the porygon post, linked at the bottom of this one). Porygon-z are created using porygon2s as a base, meaning that many of their programmed behaviors and abilities can be inferred by looking at the information we have about their predecessors. These related pokémon are so similar in some ways, in fact, that many pokémon scholars don’t even consider porygon-z an entirely new evolution of pokémon (Shield). It is fair to assume that porygon-z have a similar ability to traverse cyberspace like porygons, but it doesn’t end there. Porygon-z seems to have been designed to traverse and work in even stranger dimensions of reality, described vaguely in the pokédex as “alien dimensions” (Platinum, HeartGold/SoulSilver). This was supposed to make them a “better” and “more advanced pokémon” (Diamond/Pearl, Scarlet), an absurdly subjective and frankly insulting goal (porygons and porygon2s are perfect the way they are). Whether or not this programming worked seems to be up in the air, but no matter what you will want to take precautions to avoid them wandering off into cyberspace. This is, of course, easier said than done. When it comes to porygons, which have very predictable programming, there isn’t a lot of risk of them popping off without permission. Porygon-z, by contrast, are quite erratic.

As a result of the programming they’ve been given in order to turn them into interdimensional travelers, porygon-z are unpredictable both in their movements and their behavior (Diamond/Pearl, Sun, Moon). This may make porygon-z difficult to train and to contain, and could even make them dangerous. Like their pre-evolutions, these pokémon are capable of using some pretty gnarly moves, like Tri-Attack, Double-Edge, and Hyper Beam, which could easily prove lethal in the wrong context. Given the lack of information about this species’ behavior beside it being “odd”, it is difficult to recommend them to someone unless they are aware that caring for them might look different every day.

On a positive note, these pokémon have a pretty good ease of care. Porygon2s, which porygon-z get most of their programming and physical “biology” from, can survive in the vacuum of space, after all! The problems with caring for a porygon-z don’t lie so much with a danger to them but to a danger to you and the risk of their getting lost. They are also, mostly likely, highly intelligent and social, if those parts of their porygon2 programming remain. They are likely much more adaptive than porygons, for better and for worse.

All-in-all, it is about as hard to recommend porygon-z as a pet as it is to explain exactly why I can’t. While their needs are very simple, their formidable ability to cause harm and run away from home, combined with their notoriously erratic behavior, makes them a pet that only the most experience pokémon (and preferably, porygon) owners to handle.

The Porygon Post:

#pokémon #pokemon #porygon z #pkmn irl #pr-b

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good-to-drive · 6 months ago

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Do you think that George and John would have fixed their relationship had John lived past 1980? Because I don't.

I'm probably the wrong person to ask about this because in general I'm not a fan of speculating about what a person would or wouldn't have done had they lived. One of my favorite pieces of advice I ever got was when I was tutoring disadvantaged students during college (the best job I've ever had) and my supervisor told me potential is unknowable by definition. Meaning it's just as misguided and counterproductive to say someone has a lot of potential as to say they have no potential, because that's just not how that word works. Partly because people are dynamic and changeable but also because there are recesses of our character that no one, including ourselves, can be aware of.

So I truly don't know what would have happened between them, and I don't think you know either if I'm being totally honest. But, to throw all that out the window and speculate anyways, I think the most realistic answer is: Possibly.

I think it's fair to say that John and George were both highly mutable individuals, and that of the four beatles they spent the most time and energy trying to understand the self and achieve some kind of self awareness and personal growth (even if those attempts were sometimes misguided -- I'm looking at you, primal therapy). And I think in this case their mutability is both a complicating factor and an indication that reconciliation really was a true possibility for them.

John was making enormous strides in his mental and emotional health at the time of his death, and it's entirely possible that might have led him to feel differently about George over time, or to simply decide he didn't want to put energy towards being angry at him anymore. (Not to equate letting go of anger with being adapted/self-aware – just that that’s one way growth can manifest, it’s definitely not the only one or the best one.)

For his part, George was very vocal both musically and irl about all the ways he felt he needed to change/grow, though of course whether he ever got there is a difficult question to answer. His views on forgiveness are really interesting here (and sometimes a little magnanimous, tbh) but one thing that initially surprised me is that Paul credits George with convincing him to forgive Yoko.

(Which I guess just surprised me because I always believed the conventional wisdom that Paul is the sweetie and George is the cranky guy, but obviously that's a very limited snapshot of both of them.)

Anyways, to me the fact that George was putting time and energy towards learning to love Yoko implies that he may have been hoping or wanting to relearn his love for John as well (if he hadn't already.)

So I do think it’s possible that at some point in the last 40 years they’d both have been in a mental space to want to interact positively with one another again. It's not something that was guaranteed to happen, and I don't think we can even fairly say it was probable or improbable because that implies a level of knowledge of their souls that no one has or has ever had, but it's not outside the realm of possibility.

On a related note, another thing I've found kind of profound in analyzing the beatles (or anyone) is the line “The wounds of childhood do not heal” (Maryse Condé, Crossing the Mangrove.) Which is to say that the pain we experience as children shapes us so profoundly that every experience we have as adults is seen through the lens of that pain, and we reenact our childhood and our childhood family systems again and again without healing.

Now, in the case of the beatles, I think it’s a little blurry what constitutes childhood and what constitutes a family system (“family” system being a misnomer because every close collection of people has the tendency to form a system). Because they found each other as adolescents, and went through a life changing and arguably traumatic experience at a very young age that no one else could ever understand, the system they formed shaped them very powerfully and the wounds it instilled probably never healed, either.

I guess that's my way of saying that the four of them had kind of an extended adolescence, and they continued to reenact the system they built as adolescents in order to survive the insanity they were living in well into adulthood.

Since George was something akin to a forgotten child in this system, and Paul was something akin to a golden child, (both of which are miserable, horrible ways to live, btw – this trend of using golden child to mean “spoiled” is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen and also incredibly destructive to people who have actually experienced that trauma) those two really did have a tendency to be at odds with one another throughout their entire adult lives.

(Obligatory reminder that this is wild speculation and I'm not their therapist, or indeed any kind of therapist at all.)

But I think it’s that (and the fact that we tend to analyze anyone who touched Paul’s life purely through the lens of Paul) which tends to make people think George was fundamentally opposed to forgiving people who’d hurt him or allowing systems to adapt over time, even if that assumption doesn't really bear out in any of his other relationships. And, obviously, it's a little tricky to try to transplant the Paul/George relationship onto the John/George relationship and equate or even compare the two, because John played a very different role in the system and was a very different person from Paul.

Also, the fact that the wounds of childhood do not heal absolutely does not imply that we'll always be a slave to them. Crossing the Mangrove is an amazing book about decolonization and intergenerational trauma but one of its most powerful themes was the idea that we can continue to build ourselves and build our world in the shadow of enormous pain. And we'll always be informed by that pain, but being informed isn't the same as being defined.

All this is just to say it's very hard to anticipate what kind of changes John and George would have undergone in the last 20-40 years and whether those changes would have brought them closer together (or, if not closer together, would have encouraged a sense of acceptance towards one another.)

I also think there’s a conversation to be had about whether rebuilding that friendship would have actually been for the best for their mental and emotional wellbeing (a LOT of children from toxic family systems ultimately come to find that sorting through the pain isn’t worth it for the chance of reconciliation and that’s okay), but this is already way too long lol.

Anyways, thanks for the ask and sorry this turned into such a novel!

#I think this is in response to my saying it's okay for paul to hold onto anger #and I guess I'd say it's also okay for john and george to hold onto anger #and it's okay for you too #that's a natural part of life and not a moral failure #paul mccartney #george harrison #john lennon #the beatles #beatles #ask #anon

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neuroticreno · 9 months ago

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Big fan of your hc about Myron being a vault city citizen, do you wanna share more on it? No biggie if you don't wanna!

you have no idea the beast you have unleashed, anon.

ALRIGHT FAIR WARNING HERE it is. an extremely lengthy explanation and i've been meaning to share it here anyhow :] take this doodle of him as well for a little extra

As a preface, this headcanon is entirely for funsies (and autism). Some bits may seem like a stretch of the imagination, but it's fun to give him some kind of backstory, so take it all as you will.

I use dialogue from Myron's talking head segments, as well as the floating dialogue seen when Myron is in active combat (how canonical the combat dialogue is may be up for debate, but for the sake of this…essay? we'll say it's true).

To start, let us briefly examine Myron's character. Notably, the parts that relate most to this essay.

Myron is intelligent. To give him credit where credit is due, he is smart and thoroughly understands the subjects that he talks about. The people around him know this as well, and remark on it too (mostly at how wasted his potential is). He cares little for the well-being of others, especially slaves, whom he views as objects, and mutants are worth even less to him. He also has a very high opinion of himself, often referring to himself in the third person and boasting about his intellectual capabilities (calling himself a genius, a God, etc. etc).

So, we know he has not lived in New Reno for his entire life, only being there roughly a year or so. As he puts it, he came across the Mordino's way back when, so where was he before that? Just wandering the wastes? Or perhaps coming from another settlement?

Myron, compared to any other companion in the game, mentions Vault City quite a bit. Even more than John Cassidy, who has been tending to a bar outside the Vault City walls for a presumably long time. Though he shares the same distaste that many others do for the city, he also possesses what feels like insider's knowledge that the average wastelander would not have.

A lot of this knowledge presents itself when Myron's intelligence is threatened. If the Chosen One is smart enough, they can engage in a dialogue with Myron and demonstrate to him just how much they know about Jet and its chemical compounds. He will snip at the Chosen One for asking too many questions and interrogate them, asking where they learned all of this stuff anyway. Their understanding of pharmaceuticals is on a similar level to his own, which he may take as them learning it from the same place. Makes sense, considering during combat, Myron will mention he has not been in a fight since the fifth grade. Nowhere else in the game beyond a stray tombstone in Golgotha is any school mentioned or found. One can assume that Vault City would be the only settlement nearby with an established education system, thus reinforcing his belief.

Should the Chosen One pry him about a cure for Jet and suggest endorphin blockers, when asked where they could find such a thing, Myron will suggest Vault City first. He explains they have a 'pretty good' medical warehouse, and laughs when they want to try it as an option, saying they would have more luck getting a radscorpion to part with its tail than getting Vault City to give up anything. The city is widely known for its medical advancements, but Myron could have more of an idea of just how extensive their medical know-how is, having experienced it firsthand. Myron also proclaims that he is a 'natural', 'self-taught', and possesses 'none of that bullshit Vault City 'purer-than-thou' 'tude', which is funny since he spouts off his own 'purer-than-thou' 'tude every time he opens his mouth. Of course, he may have some level of natural intellect, but the rest of it likely stems from an education.

He also remarks that the citizens are a 'Buncha "genetically pure" humans. They got their noses so high in the air they'll drown when it rains'. Again, pretty humorous regarding his own high-and-mighty sense of self.

We can look at his propensity to look down upon slaves/servants. In Vault City, slaves are integrated enough into society to call for a Servant Allocation Center. Where citizens regard them with little to no respect, Myron, having grown up in Vault City, likely followed that ideology, too. The city's negative view of mutants could also explain his own distaste for them.

Myron also makes a lot of Dungeons and Dragons references, which is really just a funny haha 90s pop culture thing at the end of it, but it is fun to imagine that, at some point, he might have had his own little group when he was younger. This bit is just speculation for the sake of entertainment.

All of this raises more questions though; why did he leave? How did he leave? And how did he make it to New Reno without dying on the way there?

As for why he left, we know that Myron does not appreciate being hindered or being told what to do. Working for the Mordino's, he will complain that they only want him to focus on Jet when he wants to make new drugs instead. He complains as well about the lack of respect, so he could have left Vault City for similar reasons. Perhaps his talents were recognized, and he was allowed to experiment more in the field of chemistry. However, Myron could have found Vault City's restrictions less than ideal, giving him the incentive to leave and find somewhere with more creative freedom (he can leave New Reno for the same reasons, anyhow).

How he left and how he got to New Reno is difficult to explain. Myron has virtually no survival skills, and it is a considerable distance from Vault City to New Reno. Hitched a ride with a caravan, maybe? Him managing to escape a settlement covered in laser turrets and guards is also unlikely, but perhaps there was some kind of weakness he was smart enough to exploit and slip through.

Any additional thoughts on this bit would be appreciated :]

#i. very much tried to make this comprehensive #its 4 am and the dots were easier to connect in my head #DISCUSSION IS WELCOME i wanna hear anyone elses thoughts on this. if u can help me make more sense of it u are very appreciated :]#my bad as well if there are any typos or grammatical errors. i typed this all out in a notepad doc and just copy pasted it...#fallout #fallout 2 #fo2 #myron

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aetherprism · 7 months ago

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yknow what? fuck you listen to my hlvrai headcanons /ref

only tommy and benrey for now, but if you want to hear more than please do ask !

lets start with tommy (and subsequently g-man):

tommy, as we know, is the adoptive son of g-man ! but in hl2vrai’s trailer he seems to be taking his fathers role; i like to think the reason g-man adopts tommy is because he was the first person in a long time that’s like him. theyre not related by any means, no, but tommy is like him. not human, powerful. i don’t think g-man expected to get so attached to tommy, probably picking him up to train him, but he quickly realized he liked the titles of father and son, and what came with it.

tommy actually had a troubled childhood until g-man, he was unceremoniously dropped on earth and had to learn how to be human on his own. he learned pretty quickly that hiding his alien instincts was his best bet, and in the orphanage tried his best to be the most normal human kid there was.

and then tommy’s suddenly adopted by this mysterious man in a suit, and he starts to think he’s been found out by the government or worse. especially when his new adoptive parent, sitting him down in a dunkin’ donuts, tells him without any tact, “i know what you are.” suffice to say it scared the shit out of him.

moving forward though; tommy quickly learns to love his new dad ! he’s just like him, theres someone who understands tommy, and his dad teaches him how to use and not shy away from his instincts too ! his dad supports his endeavors into the sciences too, and even helps him get his job at black mesa. he really won the adoptive parent lottery :]

also extra thing; sweet voice is entirely engineered by black mesa. anyone can be given sweet voice, it was one of tommy’s first inventions !

but that’s tommy, now it’s time for benrey.

benrey wasn’t as lucky as tommy. as stated by himself; he’s not human. and he doesn’t really hide it. he’s never had to. from an early age all he’s known was experiment after experiment, prodding needles, white walls, and loud fluorescent lights that hurt his eyes.

now usually people headcanon that benrey’s from xen, but i’d like to take it a step further because i like to different i guess; anyways, benrey is not a xen alien— he’s alien x, a mysterious alien race from half-life opposing force ! he’s a mystery to the entirety of black mesa, and to himself because of that. so he settles on just saying: ‘im not human’ when people ask.

while kinda pushy in hlvrai, before that he was actually shockingly complacent. he didn’t struggle, didn’t make so much of a fuss, because he thought his treatment was normal. even though he didn’t like it, he grit his teeth and bared it anyways.

because of his complacent nature he was given a job, guard black mesa and he’d be allowed to roam around black mesa all he wants ! this is how he becomes a security guard, he also gets his own room topside like the rest of his co workers, and slowly but surely makes some friends in the circle of security guards.

one of his first friends is actually barney, yes barney calhoun. he was like a tutor to him, and at the time benrey didn’t have his own name; so he named himself after his first favorite human :] ! barney’s also the first person to tell him his treatment by black mesa wasn’t normal, or fair to him. it takes him a while to accept that. (i may take this one back if benrey ends up taking barney’s place in hl2vrai somehow)

with his job to protect black mesa he actually takes it very seriously, even more when he finds he’s just an experiment to the higher ups, fearing that if he acts slightly out of line they’ll take his already limited freedom away from him. until the invasion that is. black mesa has lost their hold on him, and by god he wont hold back anymore.

#SPEAKING COLORS #hlvrai #tommy coolatta #benrey #benry #hlvrai tommy #hlvrai benrey #hlvrai benry #headcanons #also if you can’t tell this is more in line with not a game au’s #but it can be taken with some grain of salt into canon if you try hard enough

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noonblight · 2 years ago

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Champion Geeta, The Pokémon League, & The Hidden Story Of Pokémon Violet’s Turo - Another Analysis

So this is just a small analysis to tide you over before my biggest two posts planned (Analysis of Arven and Turo as characters) drop, and while I am terribly sorry for the long title and the multiple parts, it’s warranted, I promise!

You see, while going through ScarVi, I noticed some very interesting background storytelling and symbolism that I thought would be interesting to bring up in a post in case others didn’t catch it. I also think it would be super cool if any future DLC expanded upon these concepts, because they tell us a fair bit about the League, Geeta, and Turo! Of course, a lot of this should be taken with a grain of salt as it is based on inference, but I still felt it was important/interesting enough to share. As usual, this post will contain giant spoilers for the plot under the read-more.

I adore any feedback / opinions on what I post, and everyone’s comments on my last post were so sweet they made my day. So if you have any theories or things to point out that I may have missed, please do bring them up! I love reading them! :D

Without further rambling, here ya go.

The League and Champion Geeta know a lot more than what they say throughout the game, and it’s entirely possible that both the Academy and the Pokémon League were financing Professor Turo’s dangerous research in the Crater for a time, but then stopped.

We know already that the first successful foray into the Great Crater a few centuries ago was funded by the Uva Academy, as can be viewed in the picture below which can be found within the Violet Book.

However, who was financing Professor Turo’s Research? When exploring the Research Bases, we’re introduced to many journal entries written by Turo, all which shed some light on the main plot, but also help to hint at several things that have happened in the background.

First of all, we know that he was being funded by a corporation of some sort. We can also infer that this funding was given with the expectation of receiving the fruits of that research (we will revisit this and why it is important later).

So what corporation funded this exploration of the unknown? Well, you see, there’s a littering of symbolism across Paldea, and a lot of it revolves around two concepts: Treasure, and Travel. More accurately, how to find treasure through exploration. Maybe looking at some of that can help us.

Let’s start with the research stations themselves. Each one has a large logo branded upon it, fairly difficult to miss. This logo depicts the silhouette of the Great Crater, and the latitude and longitude lines of a map. This makes sense, as for centuries, the Crater has been a culturally significant mystery and the driving force behind many expeditions which had intentions of documenting it. That, and maps are often associated with treasure, something which the Crater was fabled to hold within it.

Now, where else have we seen other similar symbology linked to exploration?

The Paldea Pokémon league displays quite a bit of this symbolism, with the boat logos of the gyms potentially representing the journey, and the vessel that drives one forward through it. Each gym is a pace forward on the path of discovery.

However, it’s the compass I really want to focus on, considering that we see it throughout the entire game. From the loading screen icon, to the gloves and lapels of every League staff member, the symbols seen across the League building, to even the rooftop of the very building itself!

The meaning of a compass is simple enough, it shows the viewer where the cardinal directions are, and is used as a reference point for navigation. In relation to the gym challenges, this makes a lot of sense. If the gym is the boat on a journey, then the League is the direction one should go in. It’s a point to work towards.

But what if that wasn’t the only thing the League was pointing you in the direction of throughout the game?

You see, I initially thought that the League and Champion Geeta were quite boring and more of a backdrop for Nemona’s fun little antics until I started to notice things in the background. Quite literally.

When you fight Champion Geeta, throughout the entire fight, you can see the Crater looming behind her. The roof of the League building even has a gorgeous compass incorporated into it, sure, but did you know that the ENTIRE building is actually in the shape of a compass too?

But rather than pointing in the direction of true north like the rotom on your map does, what is that compass and the building pointing in the direction of? The Crater. This isn’t simply an error either. With the specific placement of the league building beside the crater, and the way it’s framed during Geeta’s fight, the League has a little too much association with the Crater symbolically by this point. We even know that the building is oriented correctly, because the Compass on Geeta’s glove lines up with the shape of the building perfectly.

Speaking of Geeta herself, she also happens to have a rather damning reference to the Crater baked into her design. Her signature Pokémon, Glimmora, the Pokémon whose design shares visual flare with her outfit, is a Pokémon who is found exclusively within Area Zero and Terra Raids. It is also the only ‘regular’ Pokémon to have a dex entry that explicitly links it to the Tera concept.

She’s even the one who gives your character the rare TM and recipe for the move Tera Blast, a move that is best utilised by Pokemon that have undergone Terastalisation in battle.

All this symbolism to do with travel conveniently lining up with the Crater, Geeta’s signature Pokémon being a Glimmora instead of the pseudo legendary of the region, what’s it mean? Surely these are too weak a link, you say. Well, I wouldn’t be presenting it if it was my only proof! Do you remember how you’re given your Tera orb when going through the game? Nemona states that these orbs are difficult to obtain and receive permission to use, and she very politely gets permission from Champion Geeta for you to use one. So the Tera orbs are a limited resource. It also just so happens that the League and the Academy were given these orbs by Turo, as told to the player by Miss Raifort in one of her history lessons. Seems awfully convenient, doesn’t it?

It’s because of these details that I think we have a good reason to believe that the League is profiting off of the Tera technology developed by Turo. I believe that they even helped to fund it, for a time.

Geeta’s polite and professional Champion Of Champion’s personality also happens to be accented by a desire to set an example for others (such as Nemona) and to create a spectacle with the battles that take place throughout the gyms and the league challenge. She also has a habit of being very interested in taking time out of her busy days as Chairwoman just to scout talent to recruit it into the league. Everything she does is to further the League, even recruiting Penny for tech support for the League in postgame.

So it stands to show that she and the League would have a fair bit to gain from investing in the Tera technology, especially considering that she is currently stated to be the active Chairwoman of the League. And now here’s the part where I get to say that I think support was discontinued for Turo some time ago.

You see, I think that in his obsessive downward spiral after Sada left, Turo became paranoid that others would discontinue their support of his project. And honestly, I also think that they did. Turo was stated to have been missing from public view for a while, even before the window of time we can assume his death occurred in, and the league probably had what they needed from the Tera Orbs, so they might have left Turo to research whatever he wanted. After all, the League never really talks about Turo, despite him being the most famous scientist in the region and the reason anyone’s Pokémon can use the Tera phenomenon in battle to begin with. However, there’s another possibility. And that may be the possibility that the League doesn’t speak about Turo not because they were simply done with things, but instead for… other reasons. You see something that bothered me quite a bit during the story was this interesting technicality about the AI Defence System and the Pokéball Lock Technology that Turo created.

Why would Turo need this? Think about it for a moment. If the Paradox Pokémon were the real danger, the very thing that ended up taking Turo’s life in the end, why was the security system built entirely around the concept of trainers other than himself?

Turo built this futuristic AI and the defence system it is connected to, and the Pokéball lock system. He built all of it to keep the Time Machine, his one shot at a perfect world, safe.

But why did he assume that he needed to keep it safe? We know already that the heavy iron gates and League rules bar most normal people from entering the Crater, and if that doesn’t deter them, there’s even biometric scanners that inspect any visitor who steps inside The Zero Gate. We also know thanks to a piece of dialog from Hassel that only a very small percentage of gym trainers even make it to over halfway through gyms in the region.

So then who was Turo afraid of? Easy!

The League.

If the league were these mysterious investors, all of this would make sense. If they had visited previously, they could get past the gate or the biometric scanners. They could use force to stop Turo if they felt he was finally going too far. It would have given Turo enough of a reason to be afraid they would come bashing down the doors with Tera Pokemon, maybe even with his ex wife who might be able to figure out how to put a stop to his research.

No wonder why his answer was to build a battle system that could defeat champions and, if all else failed, could take the opposition’s Pokemon away entirely. Ironically, this paranoia for a defence system had Turo so afraid of other trainers, that he stopped being cautious around the paradox Pokemon, and ultimately lost his life because of it.

Without bleeding over too much into my post that I’m making about the psychology of the Professor, and without making this post too long, I think I’ll wrap-up by saying this. We know that the Professor’s experiments were starting to get dangerous, so dangerous that they were beginning to make even corporate backers fret and even eventually driving away Arven’s other parent.

The Professor was an impulsive, obsessive individual, to the point where they did not care for the ecology of the Paldea region, they only cared about the means to an end. Keeping the time machine running. Even after corporate backers jumped ship due to the risk, the Professor continued. If the Pokémon League found out, they would surely intervene, and the Professor knew that.

So they made the Garden Defence System not for the safety of anyone who worked there, or for the protection of the local ecology, but to protect the Time Machine itself. And in order to protect the Time Machine from every possible threat that could face it, the Professor had to build a system that could even defeat the Champions.

So that’s where things stand. Can’t wait to dive into why Turo is such an obsessive prick and how he expresses that in my next post, because there is a LOT of juicy hints around the game >:)

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon scarvi #pokemon scarvi spoilers #geeta #ai sada #turo #pokemon spoilers #analysis #arven #professor turo

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cloudyswritings · 11 months ago

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hollow knight biology: Vessels

so I’ve been on a hollow knight kick again and it’s got me thinking about why the vessels grow the way they do. Specifically why THK and the Broken Vessel are much larger than the others we see in game despite being nominally the same age. This really stumped me for a while but the more I thought about their parentage the more it made sense. See we know the vessels hatched in eggs in the abyss, or rather what look like eggs, but the thing is we also know based on the size that it was the White Lady who made them(keep in mind that gender doesn’t matter all that much for gods, look at Loki in Norse mythology for that) . That would mean that the vessels actually came out of seeds of some sort.

Okay, you may be saying but what does that matter for the growth of the vessels? A whole damn lot actually, because knowing that the vessels are at least partially plant and came from seeds mean that we can apply some behaviors related to plant growth to them. A ton of species of plant will grow less, or present a different phenotype if conditions aren’t optimal for growth. Oftentimes this translates to a lack of resources or nutrients and occasionally inadequate lighting. Now, given that we’ve never seen vessels eat in game, and they are mute I’d assume it’s fair to say they have no mouth, leaving us with two resources they could be exposed to. Soul and Light.

If we take a look at THK and BV it becomes clear that THK has been clearly exposed to soul(given their soul magic swords as pure vessel) and Light(both from their Father and Radiance). BV on the other hand was at very least exposed to light through the Radiance, although this appears to have happened after their death and their ghost is still the same size. That leaves soul unaccounted for, but it’s entirely possible that like Little Ghost they could have learned to use soul along the way.

Essentially what I see happening is that vessels start out very small and underdeveloped until they’re exposed to Soul and Light in large enough quantities. A lack of one or both can stunt growth, this is why BV is shorter than THK. As vessels grow their mask functions a bit like the bark of a tree, with each year of growth sitting on top of the last— this translates into the mask mechanic in game and also explains why THK and BV are much more durable than Little Ghost is, they’ve simply had better growing conditions. This would also explain why falling from the climb into the abyss was fatal to the majority of vessels but not little ghost. They actually got close enough to take in some of the Pale kings light before falling, and thus were just durable enough to survive the landing. Additionally the need for light and soul would explain why the vessels were instinctively drawn upwards towards the king when they hatched. Plus the image of little plant babies is very cute to me. In short, vessels are trees and Light + Soul = Growth

#hollow knight #speculative biology #hk vessels #the hollow knight

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ambyandony · 5 months ago

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whats Angurio’s lore?

OHKAY WOOO!!! BUCKLE UP!!!! I'm half going off the cuff and half just documenting previously decided info.

i think ive got everything in here.

I'd say Angurio has one of the... stranger concepts of my OCs. Unlike Tirami, he is very interesting! (I am bullying my own OC)

JJBA OC: Angurio Profile(tte)

Angurio (from 'anguria' meaning watermelon), full name presumably Angurio Romano Zatta (he's not Roman, so I don't know why his middle name would be Romano, and it's hard to say if this is his actual name, but...) and also nicknamed Ang and Angie by his sisters. He is a friendly guy! He's Italian-born, probably somewhere in his 20s and a bit younger than Melonia. Honestly, I don't know a whole lot about him concretely, necessarily. But I can tell you he's a Stand User, and his locale is technically Vento Aureo. Similarly to Tiramisu, this technicality is because Naples/Italy is his origin and where his family are, so he has ties to the Part 5 locale and a reason to be in the area.

He's also a bit of a viator; a fly-by-nighter (metaphorically)—a common trait in the family—but for him, it's not exactly by choice. Moving out of Naples originally was planned; Angurio never liked the hustle and bustle of big cities and wanted to live in a nice little town instead. And he intended to stay in that little town.

Unfortunately, that didn't pan out.

Of course. who would have fucking guessed.

「High By The Beach」

(design not official but i tried to pull something together. I draw the damn thing a little differently every time I draw it, by which I mean I have drawn it 3 times, and in not a single one of them has it been consistent. i tried to follow my Related Stand Resemblance Procedure here. a good alternate name if i were to rename it would be Blasphemous Rumours)

「High By The Beach」 is essentially built entirely around 'vengeance'.

The Stand targets victimisation or trauma, to put it one way; it picks up on the mental state of an individual who was significantly "wronged" by someone, and if the User—Angurio, that is—feels a strong enough conviction against an act of injustice that the Stand detects, then 「High By The Beach」 can take the "wrong" from the victim's mind, and use it to fuel itself. It then seeks, with Angurio, to 'avenge' the victim in some way ("peace through vengeance"). The taken 'wrongs' are manifested as bags the Stand carries. It becomes stronger through vengeful thoughts, leaving suffering as the wake of good intentions (road to Hell and all that).

Angurio knows that his Stand can remove the 'wrong' from a victim's mind, and he thinks it's a good thing, and that he's just helping them out by doing that. Removing memory and the presence of trauma can surely bring a sense of calm, a sense of safety, but it's all a potent occurrence of repression, and the potential good is temporary. It also leaves the victim dazed, lethargic, or otherwise prone to dissociation.

If the victim was particularly traumatised by the injustice that was taken, then the removal can actually do a fair bit of harm. If a traumatic 'wrong' is removed, it doesn't remove trauma; it removes the memory. If something happens that would trigger the memory—like seeing or hearing something, anything like that—then whatever trauma response the victim usually would experience—a sense of panic or whatever else it may be—they will still experience, the only difference is that they won't know why. Rather, that is, they lose readily available access to the memory of the trauma that would let them comprehend what's going on (at least to some extent).

What Angurio doesn't know—at least not actively, consciously—is that 1. there are these very negative side effects to what he believes are a good act, and that 2. 「High By The Beach」 also gets stronger from these side effects (which he, as stated, doesn't know about).

See, Angurio's very sweet. He tries to be gentle and helpful to the people around him, though he's a bit scatterbrained at times. He also carries around a supply of emergency items (think rescue inhalers, EpiPens, etc), which I cannot verify the legal obtention of; but he keeps them on him in case anyone around him ends up needing them. He's an incredibly empathetic person, which is why he uses his Stand how he does in the first place. He hates to see people—children, especially—suffer, particularly at the hands of someone else. He just wants people to feel safe. You'd be forgiven for thinking he's perhaps a bit of an antihero.

I would thusly have to call him a bit of a... face-heel turn, on a sort of acute scale. Perhaps an anti-villain.

While 「High By The Beach」 does get stronger mostly through feelings of vengeance, what isn't inherently obvious at surface level is that it also severely increases Angurio's mental strain and propensity for needless violence.

Which, um... uh oh!

Because of this, when his Stand's ability is active, and/or has something it's carrying, and especially if he's in the middle of hunting down a 'wrongdoer', he has a tendency to become brutal, cruel, vicious, to the point where he seemingly simply doesn't even know or experience his own rage most of the time and develops lapses of memory when he brings injury to people. And these factors are the main reason why he couldn't just stay in that nice little town like he wanted. Or several of the other nice little towns he's moved to.

As time draws on and he uses his Stand more and more, it seems that he begins to more easily vacillate between the two sides of his essence (nice dichotomy idiot) at disproportionate provocation (or seemingly complete lack thereof); and as a result, now has an odd dualistic personality (what the fuck is wrong with pink-haired Italian men). It doesn't seem to be a Dissociative Identity situation, though—both seem to be Angurio.

He can be a bit hard to read sometimes, though arguably not often. It can be hard to tell if he's Normal or in Crazy Murder Mode at a given moment, but there are usually tells (hair being down is usually an indicator of being in crazy murder mode. sometimes its also just an indicator of he just woke up and hasnt had time to braid it yet). The change is actually so drastic that some people, even after seeing it and seeing the personality swing with their own eyes, have trouble believing that both sides of Angurio apply to the same person.

His relationship with the communities he lives in can vary slightly depending on how others react to his actions and personality swings. But ultimately, he almost always ends up chased out—either "directly" (closest you can get to torches and pitchforks in the 80s/90s) or because the cops are poking around.

Unintentionally he probably actually does more wrong to people in pursuit of justice than what he's trying to avenge.

Even if he didn't, he's quite clearly lost perspective.

He's convinced himself that everything he's done is justified and noble (—whoever it was he just killed; Hell, he probably doesn't even know who it was—but it doesn't matter anyway, so who cares). Ends to a means.

His sense of right is heavily skewed.

Now, while things "making the Stand stronger" is meant in a physical power sense, having the bag(s) of 'wrongs' also gives the Stand everything it needs to help Angurio track down and get to the person they're taking vengeance against. When the bags are opened, the Stand releases a mist that facilitates a very strange, loose form of fast travel that puts them within "proximal distance" of the person they're after. Basically, they disappear into the fog and then emerge from the fog elsewhere, though it generally can only go so far on its own. It also can't go through the walls of buildings unless a door or window is open, since the mist can't really flow through solid matter.

(this picture is not canon. obviously)

Like his sisters, he was born with Stand potential, but not with a Stand. And like (at least) one of the other two, he can be assumed to have developed his Stand upon contact with a Stand arrow, though I couldn't tell you where or when that happened—either after his middle sister left for uni, or after he left Naples. I think things would have gone a lot differently for her if he'd developed 「High By The Beach」 while she was still around him before the whole Passione situation... I'm not gonna get into all that, though. That's Ilta's business. Ask her after she posts the new OC profile update if you're still curious.

Anyway, wherever he got his Stand, it didn't impact anything until after he'd successfully moved to a smaller, much less urban (less noisy and touristy) town. The kind of place where you can actually get acquainted with the other people around you, since there aren't as many.

And things were just lovely at first. Why wouldn't they be? He's an agreeable guy and quite unconfrontational—his older sisters' sibling rivalry seemed reserved for each other, so he never got much of that Big Sibling Bullying toughness that he probably would've otherwise. He was friendly enough to fit right in, even as a bit of an outsider! Made a few friends, or at least friendly acquaintances... even friendly people can have some trouble with actually making friends. Became a minor facet of the community, and his Stand didn't really have any impact on his life. You know, until it did.

Angurio always found himself to be pretty good with kids; kids seem to think he's tons of fun, and he likes to indulge childish imagination and help them learn when he has the opportunity. Whether he had any occupation in childcare is up for debate, but since he eventually became fairly well-known in the community, kids would talk with him plenty either way. And from this came the first time his Stand activated and all the disaster that resulted from it. Unclear if he even remembers what the kid said about their dad, but does it matter?

The man's dead now.

Wasn't really what Angurio meant to do; though, did he actually know what he meant to do to begin with? Hard to say, but either way...

someone saw.

The kid, in fact. Sure, Angurio meant well, but you know what they say about the road to hell—and abusive or not, if you see someone in your house at night murdering your father, I'm sure we can all see how that would not make things too much better overall. The situation didn't really catch up to him fully when he tried to calm the kid down. And when he did come to grips with the situation, he realised that this was going to be... a bit of a problem. And there was only one way to get away with a crime with a witness, right? Still, he kind of has to wonder why his first thought was just to take the knife he was holding and make sure the news didn't make it out of the house.

Well, he did what he had to do; that's what he told himself when he hurried home and started cleaning himself up. So what next? Well, all he could think to do was to start packing up. He didn't leave, not right away. But he packed. He was absolutely unproblematic; nobody would've suspected he could do something like that. Angurio was a bit squeamish, too, so the turnout was certainly quite a surprise and kept suspicions off him for a bit longer.

But when accusations did turn to him, even just once, even just an accusation that wasn't taken seriously, he didn't wait; everything he couldn't transport in two suitcases and a shoulder bag was left at his home, and he vanished without much of a trace. Some people worried he'd gone missing, or that they had some kind of serial killer in their midst, but there were plenty of people who said they saw him leave the day he... well, left.

The whole situation became something of a myth, and even for years after he'd left, his name was passed around in whispers. Some people believed he did it, some people didn't. But he wasn't forgotten. And though everyone in that town knew it, he'd never become important enough for his name to be spread much further.

He tried again and again to settle somewhere but never seemed able to help himself from trying to take matters into his own hands. He wouldn't always take it to the extreme (often, when the wrongdoer wasn't an immediate threat to the victim, they would be alive when Angurio left). But the violence was bad enough to get people after him—police or civilians—and he found himself locally infamous in a few places—but still never important enough to reach beyond local scopes when it came to dissemination of rumours.

They don't always remember him, now that he doesn't seem to stay as long or socially embed himself as much. Some forget his name, or probably wouldn't recognise him right away if he came back. There tends to be at least one person, though, in every town he's lived in, who will never forget about him completely.

He knows that he's talked about, and often negatively or fearfully. With his name passed about in so many places, even though it stayed almost entirely within those local scopes, it was bound to breach containment at least once; when he first started moving, he mostly lived in towns that were at least somewhat proximal to his birthplace, so even in Naples, occasional rumours about him are spread, probably because it's where he's from; but the rumours are much less well-known in the city than in the towns.

He continues to try to live a sociable lifestyle... and also still violently pursues 'wrongdoers' when he detects a particularly angering 'wrong', hoping that at least some good comes from his efforts.

And he continues to try to justify it to himself when he finds that an innocent person got hurt in the process. For the greater good, right?

At least once, he pinpointed himself as the wrongdoer.

And, well...

For the sake of vengeance, what must be done must be done, right?

As long as I survive, a part of him thinks. Another part wonders: is that really fair?

Sometimes he wishes he knew where he got that scar under his eye.

#amby answers #jjba oc #jojo oc #fanstands #jjba #vento aureo #amby draws #my art #angurio zatta #angurio romano #melonia zatta #melania zatta #any resemblance to preexisting characters both living or eternally damned to endless death was entirely accidental #character profilette #character profile #so unfair that his sister is an occupational assassin #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK

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