#i mean tbh it's also bc some of my takes on him are v interlinked w my own cptsd and therefore sometimes difficult to talk abt ig
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nah but like nathbryn has one of these n istvan has the other one.
#ooc.#i will write..... soon#[neil breen title card vc] i am here................................now#i am plagued by thoughts on astarion's team#god. i find it so difficult to post meta / headcanons on my astarion blog#KSDJFHKJSDFH#i care too much and so i end up just saving them to drafts and so as of now#there are like. several essays in the drafts that will simply never see the light of day#i mean tbh it's also bc some of my takes on him are v interlinked w my own cptsd and therefore sometimes difficult to talk abt ig#and also it's like i would like to search thru his origin for like more source material and#yeah we're in danger of essay length posts and yet at the same time i feel like they're so disorganized#[screams]#KJSDHFKJSHDF#not that i'll ever make it in academia i cannot survive in those environments. but.#me handing in my astarion thesis#in ten years#like hi its finally-#and then i notice a paragraph i don't like and i snatch it back. i'm like i need another ten years thanks#cptsd mention /
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