#i mean some of it ive been able to make new memories with

[joeylivesinspace]

damn i listened to all the best music in 2020 and now it all has a 2020-shaped stain on it

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[todayisafridaynight]

STILL HAVING SUCH A NORMAL ONE ABOUT THAT RGGJO BUT NO Y7JO GETTING REALLY GOOD AT HOUSEWORK I SEE THE VISION… I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down…

Because I've always wondered how unprepared Jo would've been going into everything. On one hand, he did leave home really young, but since he was working and Ikumi wasn't, one could argue Ikumi would've been the one to handle the housework at least while they were together.

Inversely, I do kiiind of feel like Jo would've done at least Some Things when he could to ease the burden on Ikumi based on his attempt to comfort her at the station. I'm reading way too much into it but it's notable that, despite him definitely being a smoker and them hoping for a miscarriage, the ashtray in their apartment is spotless.

But we only really see his living situation when he's with Ikumi and don't get to see what--if anything--changes when he's on his own, when he has to do everything and not just Some Things. But with regard to food, if you're in survival mode like that, while it is more economical to make food at home, it would make sense that any quality of cooking would be passable. That's not going to fly with a kid who's lived in the lap of luxury his whole life.

So I've always had a lot of feelings about Jo Bettering Himself for Masato's sake (even when Masato isn't necessarily being reasonable) and his overblown neurosis at the prospect of falling short--the post you mentioned in your tags is Exactly It. But, you know, it's cheesy, but I firmly believe he could do whatever he set his mind to, if he can manage to learn Every Martial Art and become a glorified (and very competent) accountant after dropping out of high school.

Also uhhhhhhhh entire post reminded me of this (びら on Pixiv) that's it that's the ask

Ok I'm glad we both caught on to Jo's attempt to console Ikumi and the considerably-clean home. Evidently he was probably self-sufficient enough, but nothing extraordinary- just whatever passed as 'suitable' for them, so it's not as though he's going in totally clueless (but certainly not knowledgeable enough to match Masato's extremely-high standards. Bless Arakawa but he definitely spoiled him a little).

Even if it is a 'cheesy' sentiment, Jo very much has proven that so long as it's for Masato, he's willing to do anything and everything no matter how big (joining the yakuza) or small (probably like. learning how to make quiche)

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 15

part 1, prev part

note: yeah, this one's going to hurt

Dustin takes a few days before returning to the hospital again. Not because he fully wants to. His mom has been too busy to drive him and Steve’s not really available either. Between work and a period of really bad migraines, Dustin hasn’t wanted to bother him. Which is new to him, but they both could use the break.

This time off has actually helped him some. He’s focusing a bit more on school. Getting assignments done on time and paying more attention in his classes. He’s been able to sleep a little better. Can almost get through the night without waking up in a cold sweat.

It’s been better. So Dustin decides to go visit Eddie again.

Steve’s walking next to him, now up to visiting Eddie. Finally, over whatever was keeping him from even thinking of going into the hospital room unless he needed to. Dustin’s glad, it’s been helping him.

There’s a nurse asking Eddie some questions when they enter. And he’s responding. With words. Not just grunts or blinks. But actual words. Dusitn almost can’t believe it.

“What year is it?” the nurse asks.

Eddie takes a deep breath. “Nineteen,” another breath, “eighty-six.” His voice is scratchy and dry.

“Great,” she marks something on her chart.

Dustin takes his seat next to Wayne, looking hopeful.

“What day of the week is it?”

Eddie closes his eyes, as if he’s trying to pull the memories from his mind. He shakes his head. Looking tired and agitated. The nurse marks another thing on her chart.

Dustin looks to Wayne, the joy in his face falling when he sees the anguish in Wayne’s eyes. There’s something more to this. Something’s wrong.

“Can you tell me what happened right before you came in here, Eddie?”

Dustin freezes and sees Steve tense out of the corner of his eye. Both of them looking to Eddie to see what he says. Knowing that he can’t say what happened. Knowing that he technically could. The NDA waiting for him is left unsigned.

Eddie huffs out a breath, struggling to inhale another one. Starting to peel off the bandages around his IV’s. Struggling, trying to sit up.

“Ed,” Wayne leans forward, trying to reason with him. “We talked about this yesterday. You can’t take those things off. They’re keepin’ you alive, son.”

Yesterday. This isn’t the first time. Eddie’s been more awake for at least a day and no one told him.

Dustin glances at Steve, seeing a mix of emotions on his face. Pain, worry, fear. A deep, rich sadness. Like he knows the words Eddie is going to say next. Knows how terrible they are.

“Fuck you,” Eddie exhales. The look in his eyes both blank and full of anger. He continues to pick at the bandage, succeeding in getting it off.

Wayne grabs Eddie’s wrist, pulling it away from his IV. “I know you don’t mean that.”

“Fuck,” breathe, “you.” The anger doesn’t leave Eddie’s face. Terrifying in how much is translated with how little is expressed. The tiredness holding his muscles back from properly emoting. Yet perfectly getting the point across.

Steve leans down to whisper in Dustin’s ear. “Maybe we should leave. Come back later.”

Eddie’s head lifts when he finally registers Steve and Dustin’s presence. A new flicker of something comes to his face. Just to melt off again. Back to the resting ghost that’s taken over.

“Out,” he snaps. Pushing his arm into the air and pointing at Steve. “Out.”

“I think it’s best you both leave,” the nurse interjects. Trying to hold the IV in Eddie’s arm as he continues to pull.

Normally, Dusitn would protest. Say that he needs to be here. That it would make things better. But it’s only a matter of time until the anger turns on him. He’s not sure he could take that.

Wayne has to pry Eddie’s hand away from the IV again, holding it close to the bar. Just like another cuff. Eddie’s using all of his strength to try and wrench it away. But he’s weak. Falls into the pillows breathless. Exhausted.

Tears start to form in his eyes as his face scrunches up. A soundless sob releasing from his throat. He tries to fight the nurse while she’s reapplying the bandage around his IV. Finally giving up.

Eddie opens his eyes again, finally looking at Dustin. Taking one more giant breath before saying the first thing to him since he died. Tears painting down his face. Pain indented in his eyes.

“Leave,” he whispers. Pleads.

Dustin stands and leaves the room, only making a few steps before his own sob breaks free. There was no look of recognition in Eddie’s eyes. No spark when he saw Dustin. Nothing to give him any solace that Eddie knew who he was. Knew what Dustin meant to him. Knew what happened in those last moments. As Eddie’s body crumbled in Dustin arms.

He remembered none of it. But it remembered him.

Steve pulls Dustin away from the hallway. Wraps his arms around him, holding the pieces as they fall. As the hope Dustin foolishly held shatters. He thought waking up meant Eddie was getting better.

He now sees how wrong that idea was.

They sit silently next to each other in the waiting room. Dustin’s tears drying on his cheeks. Steve not knowing what to say, so just not saying anything at all. It’s deafening.

Wayne finds them after some time. Sits across from them. Silent, until he clears his throat. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

Dustin wants to respond. Ask what happened in the days he wasn’t here. But his mouth can’t seem to open for the words to form.

“Eddie,” Wayne continues. “Eddie’s goin’ through a bit of amnesia after fully waking up. It’s making him angry, and he’s fightin’ just because of the pain. It’s nothing against you.”

Dustin wasn’t in the room when Will was possessed by the Mind Flayer. He’s only heard the stories from Mike. How Will didn’t remember him that much. Could barely remember his own mom. How the monster took the memories and hid them away. Smothered them. Sequestered Will in his own mind.

Eddie wasn’t controlled by the Mind Flayer. Or anything from the Upside Down. Dustin had given El a picture of Eddie and asked her to see if he was the only one in there. That there was nothing lingering in the depths of his mind that would take him away.

It apparently didn’t need monsters to do that. Sometimes life did that for them.

“Do they know when, if, the amnesia will go away?” Steve asks. Dustin still speechless.

Wayne shakes his head, fighting the mist in his eyes. “Could be days, could be weeks. Won’t know until he’s more conscious. He’s still in and out of sleep, probably won’t be up again till tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. Dustin can only hope that Eddie remembers him tomorrow.

next part

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@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,

[gothicflowers]

Alex Keller X GN!Reader

Field of Flowers

Warnings: Fluff.

“We’ve been inseparable for almost eight years. For some reason I just assumed I’d always have you around. I don’t wanna face that reality but I have to now. Saying goodbye completely ends the story.”

“New chapters mean you get to keep on writing the story. Why would it make you scared?”

“I’m terrified honestly. I want a life outside of all this, to be able to lay in a field of flowers and rest.” Motioning to your ballistics vest and the gun on his hip. “But ive been doing this for so long it’s almost like I have to completely hit reset on my life. I can’t tell anybody about any of this. About what I’ve done, the places I’ve seen. Hell, I can’t even tell them about you. It all dies with me.”

Over all these years with Alex you never told him your feelings. Too afraid to lose the only person who’s stuck by your side. Every mission, every wound, every sunrise and sunset he was with you. Learning to live without him was going to be hard. It was going to be even harder trying to start the life you envisioned without him.

Alex leaned against the hummer next to you trying to find the words to say. He hated that you were leaving. But he couldn’t ask you to stay with him. Not when he just abandoned the CIA for farahs army. But he loves you too much to tell you his feelings. He wants you to be happy, not to go to bed wondering if he’s ok or when he’ll return to you.

“I hope you find peace and get everything you want out of this lifetime. You deserve it.” His words felt heavy leaving his chest. “How about instead of goodbye, I’ll see you around.”

Tears welled up in your eyes. Biting your lip to try and stop a choked sob from leaving your lips. Nodding and looking at the sunset. “I’ll see you around Alex.” You look up at him, just as pretty as the day you first met. Only couple more scars and some lines around his eyes changed him. His eyes still sparkled when they looked into yours. A single tear falls down from your eyes taking in the sight of the man you’ll never see again.

His hand comes to rest on the nape of your neck as the other wipes away the single tear. Pressing a kiss to your forehead he takes in this final moment. His forehead rests against yours knowing he has to let go now or he won’t let you go. “I’ll see you around.”

And he’s gone. Gone from your life. You’re left watching the sun disappear over the mountains wondering why it is to be like this.

It’s been a little over three years since that day. You opened up that company you always told Alex about. Got a car and even purchased a home. Everything on paper looked like you had become quite successful. Your family was excited to have you home. But with all good things considered it didn’t feel how you thought it would.

The house was quiet. Making friends in your late twenties proved to be difficult. And every date you went on couldn’t compare to the man you left in a war zone. You thought about him often. Was he doing well? Was he making sure to eat enough? Was there someone that could cut his hair as well as you could? And the scariest thought, was he still alive?

Your dreams were fleeting with memories of your time together and the battles fought. Often times waking you in the night too scared to fall back asleep. Even though you were happy to be away from it all you still thought about it, if you hadn’t left. Stayed and told him that you loved him. Or should you have just told him before you left. At least then you’d have had an answer of some sort. Never to be left wondering like you still do. The waves of regret consumed you from time to time.

Today was a slow day, as most Mondays are for your company so it was just you today. You sat behind your computer finishing up this months paperwork. The front door bell chimed upon someone entering. Since it was just you, you headed to the front to greet the customer.

“Hello, how can I-“ you stopped dead in your tracks in disbelief when your eyes noticed the man standing there. Soft eyes, strong arms, and a smile like no other.

“Hi” he could barely make out that single word. Just seeing you took the breath out of his lungs. “I said I’ll see you later, not goodbye.” His mustache covered lips turned up into a smirk.

You run up to him wrapping your arms around his neck in a hug. His warm embrace welcoming you into his arms. His arms wrapped around you felt more like home than anything has the past three years.

“I can’t believe you’re here” your hands cup his face, thumbs caressing his cheeks “What are you doing here?”

“Laswell got my name cleared, thought about lying in a field of flowers like you said.” His arms still wrapped around you not wanting to let go. “And there was something I didn’t tell you before you left, I’m hoping I’m not too late.”

“What didn’t you tell me.” Your arms unraveled and your hands rest on his strong chest. You could feel his heart beating fast.

Taking a deep breath he looks deep into you. “That I’ve been in love with you since the moment I met you.”

Your voice weakened with the joy of hearing his confession. “I wanted to tell you I loved you before I left but I was scared you didn’t love me back.”

Alex looked down at you with a look you had seen glimpses of but never fully. It was love, joy, excitement and more passion than anyone had ever looked at you with in your lifetime.

Without words you both embraced in a passionate kiss making up for all the lost years. His hands pulling your hips into him closer desperately wanting to keep you close. Your hands traveling from his chest to his neck. Clinging to each other fearing separation. After what felt like eternity your lips departed one another.

“So since the moment you met me?” How could you have not seen? Was that truly what all those intense moments of eye contact meant? The fighting over each other going into something far too dangerous. Love?

His bright goofy smile was uncontrollable “Yeah”

You couldn’t help but laugh recalling that exact moment in time. “Alex I had a gun to your head because Laswell didn’t tell me I was gonna have a partner that mission. I was seconds away from killing you”

“Can’t lie it was definitely intimidating, but oddly attractive.” He smirked knowing it was the honest truth.

You give his chest a light hit at his comment “Shut up and kiss me again.”

“Yes ma’am.”

[whumpshaped]

I don’t think kissing will help Beck and Helle’s relationship, would probably make things worse and/or weirder, but it never hurts to try (/j)

ive waited for so long to do this

masterlist

tw vampire whumper, vampire whumpee, mind control, lady whumpee, murder, death, starvation/intense hunger, humiliation, dehumanisation, intimate whumper, dubcon kiss

Being a vampire — and a hungry one at that — was an experience entirely detached from anything that had come before it. Beck was acutely aware of the scent of every single person they passed, all the little sounds of the street, and every small movement.

According to Helle, using charm should've been easier when he was famished, since the instincts should've kicked in, but he couldn't seem to get the hang of it. He chalked it up to being new to all of this, and simply stayed in the shadows as instructed. He would try again another time, when his mind wasn't so focused on nothing but blood blood blood.

"Control yourself, will you? You do not need to stare at every single passerby," Helle said in a low voice, and Beck quickly averted his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm just..."

"Hungry, I know." They gestured towards an alley, and Beck froze for a moment. It felt familiar. It was the same alley in which Helle had caught him, altering the course of his life forever. "This is a good place to get some privacy. Trust me on that."

"I'm... not sure I can hurt a human," he forced out, despite every fibre of his being screaming for murder. He wanted to hurt a human. He wanted to feed.

Helle saw through it as well, and gave him a condescending smile. "Yes, I can imagine the moral dilemma. Now, stay here. I shall bring you a suitable idiot."

Beck stayed as ordered. Suppressing the unwanted memories of torment and anguish was much easier when he had this constant buzzing in his head, when the desire to feed was so loud that it drowned out all the thoughts about Master not being a very kind person.

He tried to coax out some magic from within himself. He felt awfully vulnerable standing in the alley all alone, without any charm, without anyone to protect him — but it seemed impossible. He was missing a crucial step, no doubt, something he either didn't understand or Helle wasn't telling him. At the very least, describing it as instinct was a stretch. There was nothing instinctual about trying and failing over and over.

When Helle returned, they had a middle-aged woman with them, giggling and giving them the most adoring looks. She wasn't enthralled, merely charmed, but that wasn't the most interesting thing about her: it was her scent, the blood rushing in her veins right under her exposed skin. She smelled divine.

His mouth was already watering, but he stayed in place, waiting for Helle to give him the green light. They didn't. They made small talk with the woman like they had all the time in the world, only ever glancing at him to relish the hungry looks he gave them. It was maddening, and yet he made no attempt to protest.

Eventually, finally, they turned her around to face Beck instead. "Well? Try it out. Try to enthrall her."

"Can't I– can't I just feed first?" The woman's smile faltered as she kept looking at Beck, squinting as her mind tried to make sense of the image. He whimpered in fear, stepping further back into the shadows so his vampiric features would stay mostly hidden. "I mean– I meant–"

"Relax, Beck. If she snaps out of it, I can definitely enthrall her. But I would like to see you do it."

"What are you talking about?" she asked with a nervous laugh, but Helle just rolled their eyes.

"Come on," they prompted. "Try it. You should feel... how do I explain this? It should come naturally. You should be able to get a sense of her mind, how it works, what makes her tick. You should almost be able to see a little map of it in your head, with all the best places to hit so she becomes willing to listen."

"I, I can't do this, I don't get anything–"

"Beck, come here."

He swallowed and willed himself to move, standing in front of his soon-to-be victim and his sire. All the talk about vampire magic was definitely making the charm slip, and her eyes widened in recognition. "You're a vampi–" Helle quickly covered her mouth, shushing her.

"Easy," they murmured. "Stay nice and still for him, yes? He is quite new to the business of biting innocents."

She whined pathetically, but she stood no chance against them. Beck was beginning to feel a little nauseous; a feeling that somehow didn't affect the hunger in the least.

"Look into her eyes," Helle instructed softly, and Beck did, detecting nothing but the obvious terror. "Try to feel her out. Imagine what it would feel like to rip her apart and take a peek inside — that is usually how I feel when enthralling humans."

"I c-can't– I can't, I can't do that, it's not working– I just feel hungry, please, I n-need– I need to drink, please–" Nothing made sense. He wanted to sink his fangs into her neck, not his claws into her mind. He didn't care for any of that right now. His eyes kept flickering to the sweet spot between her neck and shoulder where he wanted to bite, and he just couldn't concentrate.

Helle sighed and muttered something about impatience and gluttony, but he didn't even catch it. "Alright. Let us see how you do with venom. Just let it flow, do not concern yourself with her state of mind."

That was all he wanted to hear. He grabbed the woman and bit down, an action that really was instinctual. He'd never been a fan of anatomy, and yet he could pinpoint exactly where to pierce her skin to get to the blood most efficiently.

The woman cried out in pain, muffled by Helle's hand over her mouth. "Beck? Are you not using any venom?" they asked, a little confused. "I am telling you to use it."

He barely heard it. He gulped down as much blood as he could in the shortest amount of time possible, filling his stomach for what felt like the first time in weeks.

"Beck," they hissed, and he quickly pulled away, licking his lips clean. Oh, Helle sounded pissed. "When I tell you to do something, you do it. Do you understand me?"

"Y-yes, Master, I'm sorry, I–"

"So use the goddamn venom."

He opened his mouth, then closed it again. The rich taste of blood lingered on his tongue, and he would've rather lied about not understanding how venom worked than be denied more. But he couldn't bring himself to. Lying to Helle seemed like an egregious sin.

"I don't know how," he said quietly.

They looked utterly dumbfounded. "What?"

"I d-don't know how."

"It should be the easiest thing in the world! Resisting the use of venom should be the hard part." They nodded towards the woman. "Try again."

"Yes, Master."

Once again, he didn't feel anything aside from the blood flowing into his mouth. He didn't feel like he was pumping anything back in, nor did he feel any sort of urge to do so.

Helle didn't stop him this time. Not when the woman's struggles began to get weaker, not when she passed out, not when she was starting to get unnaturally cold for a living human — and he didn't have the discipline to stop on his own.

He only pulled away when it became too hard to suck more blood out of her, and even then he was a little hesitant. As soon as he realised what he'd done, though, his perspective suddenly shifted. This wasn't a rat anymore... this was a human. This was a real human, with a real life, with friends and family–

Not anymore.

Beck stumbled backwards, horrified when Helle took out a stake and put a hole in her chest, before carelessly tossing her aside. They didn't look disappointed, or angry. No, there was something about their expression... Fondness? Excitement? They didn't even reprimand him for not using venom the second time around.

"I didn't mean to," he whispered. "I didn't– I didn't mean to kill her, oh god, I killed her– I didn't mean to!"

"Who cares?" they asked cheerily. "Who even cares? Oh, this is amazing." They walked over to him, cupping his cheeks and completely disregarding his panic. "You failed to charm a single human. You failed to enthrall your victim. You were not even able to use venom, arguably the easiest vampire trick in the book."

"I, I just killed a woman– Can we not talk about magic..? I'll try harder, just not now, please, I don't–"

"You do not get it, do you? Oh, you sweet, stupid thing." If they'd had a tail, they would've been wagging it by now. There was no way to even describe how happy they looked about the revelation they were about to share with him. "You are useless. Unable to survive on your own. You are what we would call the runt of the litter."

Beck's mind was reeling. He was still stuck on the murder part, but now Helle was giving him a new anxiety. "Wh– what? No, no, I just need a bit more time– I'm sure I can do it, I just–"

"You have had ample time. You should have at least felt an inkling of magic, but you did not." He was pretty sure everything Helle was describing was bad. So why did they seem so ecstatic about it?

"I... I don't... wanna b-be a runt," he muttered, unsure of how to handle his sire's palpable joy. "That's very bad, isn't it? I don't– I don't wanna feel so vulnerable forever."

It happened so abruptly. He was too caught up in his racing thoughts and guilty conscience to move a muscle when Helle suddenly leaned in and kissed him, passionate and demanding, like they just couldn't stay away from him for a single moment longer. Like they never even wanted to stop.

"You are going to be this vulnerable," they murmured against his lips. "Forever. My pathetic little vampire, too weak to run, unable to hide... Helpless to do anything but sit in my mansion and depend on me. Beck, you continue to be absolutely perfect." They gave him one last peck on the lips then let go of him, leaving him stunned, confused, and embarrassed. "Come along. We have more to discuss than I anticipated."

~

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @the-cyrulik @pirefyrelight @there-will-always-be-blood @pigeonwhumps @echo-goes-mmm @whumpycries @morning-star-whump @d-cs @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @tauntedoctopuses @blueyellow8green @typewrittenfangs @whumpsoda @steh-lar-uh-nuhs

[kylejsugarman]

hey I lurk for your Breaking Bad content. please give me all of your Jesse in Alaska/recovery headcanons. I need it like I need air.

jesse in alaska.......where do i even begin 😔 im going to avoid lingering too much on my alaska oc's and that little world (tldr for newcomers: jesse gets to haines, starts working at a repair/custom shop called carvings owned by sheila, and befriends and falls in love with the local vet demi who is raising her niece baby) just because there are Plenty of those posts and i want to focus more on jesse himself

this is one ive talked about before, but its just so precious to me, and thats jesse getting into cooking. at first, him learning how to do it is out of pure necessity. the canned food that ed left him only lasts for a few weeks and the prepackaged stuff at the store is all queasily redolent of the "treats" (<- meager sustenance) that were dropped into his cage, so he picks up a box of dry pasta and looks at the recipe for chicken penne printed on the box. it has all the steps, the ingredients. he was always good at following a recipe. jesse dutifully buys the stuff and what begins as him robotically following the text later on in his small, dim kitchen starts to feel. Good. there's no harsh fumes or chemical burns. he doesnt have to measure the garlic down to a hundredth of a gram. he has a recipe to follow—something to guide him—but nothing awful is going to happen if he experiments a little. if he deviates. and he isn't making poison. he's making something Good. for so, so long, jesse only Destroyed and when he did create, it was poison. now he gets to do what he wants. he gets to make good. that chicken penne is the first thing he eats in weeks that actually has flavor—or maybe he's letting himself Taste again. jesse starts cooking more and more, using those supermarket recipes and eventually recipes that he prints off from the public library computers, and even once it becomes a part of his daily routine, he never loses that weird excitement for it. there's the satisfaction of successfully executing a task even with his memory issues and adhd, but also the excitement of realizing over and over that he can do what he wants.

jesse thinks he's "done" with drugs when he gets to alaska purely because he hasn't been able to use and doesnt have immediate access to anything stronger than alcohol or tobacco, but he quickly realizes that he does not have any other kind of coping mechanism ready to deploy or way to sufficiently distract himself once he's physically and mentally well enough to Be Aware. alcohol doesnt seem to "work" fast enough. he thinks over and over about hiring a sex worker or finding a bar somewhere so he can have sex with and fall asleep next to a warm, living body. he drives for hours and sometimes hits the brakes hard on the icy road when theres no one else out there, letting himself skid uncontrollably and hoping he crashes. he wants to start a fight with a stranger. he wants to hug a stranger. and he does end up using drugs again, several times. i mean he's a severely traumatized addict arriving in a new location with zero support. it's not a failure, it's not irreversible backsliding: it's just the reality of what being in this terrifying, vulnerable situation would be like for jesse. for a long time, he sees these relapses as signs of weakness and that Certain People were right about him being a pathetic junkie with no will or value, but as he starts meeting people and finding new ways to be happy and getting the right treatment for his various issues and sometimes even sitting in NA church basement meetings because he just needs to be Understood, jesse comes around to the idea that addiction is not a moral failing and sees his life as worthy enough to safely and healthily preserve.

lightning round!! jesse decides once he arrives to grow his hair and facial hair out some to look less like his old mugshot, but also because as soon as the cold winter air touches his shaved head, he basically reverts to spongebob and patrick duct-taping fur off of sandy to survive in her dome during winter. he stops to stare in awe at eagles and whales and moose even after years and years of living in alaska. his sense of smell is nearly totally destroyed from cooking without protection, but he still always buys lemon scented soap and cleaning stuff because lemon was his aunt ginny's favorite scent. he reads up on a lot of first-aid on the public library computers, sometimes out of a sense of frantic compulsion or guilt, sometimes out of legitimate curiosity. when he drives home from doctors appointments or NA meetings, he plays the music in his car so loud that his seat shakes. the people of haines know that mr driscoll can be a little cagey and will flinch at the sound of his own laugh, but they also know that he brakes for animals and carves beautiful gadrooning and buys ten of whatever the kids are selling to raise money for the band or their scout troop. and they like him quite a bit :)

[supermaks]

No but what is red bull doing with this car??? I just can't understand how they're suddenly having so much issues. It feels like the McLaren car is great in every track while we're are struggling everywhere.

My impression is that mclaren have now a superior car and they might put some serious pressure on the championship. No hate to the mclaren drivers, but they're not doing justice to that car. The only reason max keeps winning still is because he's leagues better.

Tbh its still too early to tell but the more rbr talks about the suspension and what they think the problem is, the more sense it makes to me. Its not at all a new thing, actually its kinda part of the design itself. Like the red bull philosophy wid the 2022 regs was to maximize the aerodynamic components by keeping the suspension as stiff as possible. rb18 and the rb19 were uncompromising cars from the start, but the ground force generated was so ahead of everybody elses rbr cud have the most rigid mechanical components and still produce better lap times than the competition just because they were able to lower their rear very consistently. So for instance they get to an outlier like Singapore that has such bumpy characteristics and like explode but it doesnt matter because for most of the calendar the ride height holds and they have the advantage. Its a very milton keynes adrian newey led type of compromise regarding car design which means its not a compromise at all and it kinda expects its immediate and total sovereignty to be its own justification. I dont think rbr is doing anything 'wrong' wid the car, its just that the car was always bound to hit a limit in performance and kinda coasted on other team's setbacks. That and yes, there are lil operational mistakes throughout race weekends happening rn that didnt exist last year and cud be attributed to some uncertainty regarding car development, the turmoil inside the organization, some fatigue, etc. Time will tell if they can fix the problem or if its something to try and minimize until the next regulatory cycle

About the Mclaren, and why it looks so spooky, seems MTC have been able to develop a car that not only employs the same suspension trick as rbr, but is able to make it work to its full potential, particularly by absorbing bumps and kerbs more effectively, which is something the rb20 as of now cant do. Basically its an all around more balanced car wid better handling. Without the first SC yesterday Lando wud have put a 20 sec gap no problem. By fp3 both Mclarens were already lapping like 2 seconds faster than the rb20 so like clearly that pace is here to stay. Whether itll translate into a full fledged wdc fight it will depend on the next big 4 updates because all the top cars have room to improve in the upcoming european leg. mcl38 has a lot of potential tho and not being hindered by the suspension the way rb20 is makes it a significant threat. Also like Mclaren is still making some basic strategy errors that usually tend to go away once the team settles more into its new role in the competition.

Ab ur last comment, idk personally I think zak browns bj brothers are doing a really good job keeping pressure and staying consistent, especially Lando, but its also their first taste of a truly competitive car so its normal for them to miss out on some pole positions or maybe not drive some stints as well. I think Ive commented on this before but sometimes it does come down to experience. 2023 had some hints of a possible Mclaren resurgence but they were few and too spaced out for the drivers to be able to truly build on it. On the other side u have a world champion coming out of 3 consecutive title runs 1 of which was one of the most competitive in recent memory, and another the most dominant. Mclaren is intent on building momentum and Max wont let them. Rbr are in limbo but Max isnt. Wid much respect to everybody else but like either put ur best foot forward every time or better luck next year 😐

[cupfullofpapas]

(yes! finally new art :D!!) Second Vol in The Assistant series: In the arms of a Devil Rated: E F/M Cardinal Copia x F!Reader Papa Emeritus IV x F!Reader Also read it on my Ao3 here Previous Vol. : The Assistant Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Part 7: Oh when will my dear Cardinal come home

"What?, what?, Is everything okay? is Cardi okay?." You asked worry buzzing inside of you like a swarm of angry bees, Imperator placed her hands on your shoulders.

"No, no nothing like that sister please calm down, the Cardinal is just fine and on his way home as we speak however the tour bus is having some minor issues on which we are keeping an eye on, the thing I have to say is that-- Sister Emelia has taken ill meaning Secondo no longer has an assistant at the moment and you are our only option I'm afraid." You could tell that Imperator did not like the idea of you and Secondo being in the same room let alone working together once again either.

"What about Laiah, Sofia even Vittoria surely one of them has to have some of the same skills?" You watched as Imperator shook her head. "They may possess organizational skills but they do not possess the knowledge and skills that you do, there are no other options." Before you could continue to argue you watched the older woman turn on a heel and start to walk away. On either side of her were two Imperiale ghouls two that you hadn't noticed beforehand their tails swaying to and fro the most you knew about them were their names.

One tall and stock his skin tone had a bluish-grey tint to it his hair was shoulder-length with only one complete horn on top of his head the other had been broken long ago his name was Alto, and walking beside him was Anvil he was shorter than Alto his hair was put back into a bun a scar rested over the bridge of his nose.

"Well, this is perfect." You grumbled to yourself closing the door and retreating to your bed and ignoring the slick between your legs, no longer in the mood. Deciding to just go to bed not even the smell of your Cardinal was enough to make you feel better, your mind tormented you with the memory of the last time you and Secondo were 'together' the look on his face, the look of utter betrayal, hours passed before you were able to get any rest.

When morning hit you dragged yourself out of bed, got yourself ready, and fed your and Copia's fur babies. You also noticed that you'd have to get another cage soon the little pink nuggets were already getting fur. You followed your usual routine the day hadn't even started and you were already irritated. You wanted nothing more than to retreat back under your covers and stay there. Completing your morning begrudgingly you found yourself outside Secondo's office, with an inhale and exhale you knocked on the door a familiar raspy voice called from behind it.

"Entrare"

Entering you saw a set of exhausted eyes look up from the papers on the desk a fleeting look of anguish passed by them before being hardened, the hunched figure sitting up straight as your name passed his painted lips.

"What are you doing here ragazza?"

Secondo asked as his eyes drifted from you back to the papers that he had been working on as he dipped his quill pen into the small bottle of ink his elegant writing continued.

"Sister asked me to fill in for Emilia, I heard she was ill." You answered keeping things professional, it was best to let old memories and feelings stay buried. "I see, well there is the work, get to it sorella".

Secondo pointed the pen towards the desk, your old desk, venturing over you sat down eyes glancing at the area and appreciating that Emilia had kept her workstation neat and organized. Without a second glance, you pulled the folders over staring. Hours passed in silence the scribbling of the pens and an occasional clearing of a throat were the only noises.

"So". Secondo started "How have you and that stronzo sorella?", You shot him an aggravated look before looking back down at the papers choosing not to answer.

"I asked you a question woman, I expect an answer". "We are just fine, now please Secondo let me get back to work". You finally answered sounding more exacerbated than you meant to. Secondo only scoffed "After leaving me for-" He made a face as he spoke "A Cardinal, I would appreciate some communication and answers." "Answers to what?" "Why you left me, Bella". You opened your mouth to speak but no words came out you didn't have any words to give nor answers. "Secondo.." "No don't 'Secondo' me I want to know why". You watched as he stood from his desk crossing the small area, you had already stood up from your desk backing up until the cold wall pressed against your back the former Papa towering above your shorter frame. "Tell me tesoro, what can that Cardinal give you that I hadn't already?" This was so unlike Secondo usually he was silent and stern, this caught you off guard. Secondo had once convinced himself that he didn't need you that you were just a fling that he got slightly attached to and nothing more. But here you were in his office again doing the same work you once did, looking as beautiful as the day you walked away. "Secondo don't-"

"Answer me". His voice was commanding as he pinned you to the wall behind you. "I deserve an answer at least." There was barely any room between you his strong body against yours, unlike Copia you had to crane your neck back to look up at him. Feeling his gloved fingertips trace your sides and down over your hips where each strong hand gripped hard enough to both leave a mark behind and make you whimper.

A gasp passed your lips as Secondo ducked his head down his lips meeting your exposed neck and going right for the spot he knew would drive you wild, gasping your hands flew up to grab onto his Papal robe.

You hated that he still knew your body so well each little spot, each little button that drove you wild, mixing that with not having another's touch for months was a dangerous concoction one that caused a soft moan to pass your lips.

"You remember it, si?" Secondo's lips moved lower biting at the nape of your neck nibbling his way back up and stopping at your ear. "The way I felt inside of you? withering away in pleasure below me as I took you, dolcezza" his voice was deep, husky, and raspy.

You bit your lip your mind disobeying you making you remember it, vividly remembering it, being bent over his desk your skirt around your middle while you let Papa have his way with you, the pressure, pleasure, and pain when his cockhead abused your cervix each time his hips slammed against you.

You silently cursed as you felt your lower lips slick together you were wet, practically dripping as you felt his hand starting to slide your skirt up. For a split second, you heard his voice in your head, the voice of your Cardinal

........."Each time I thought a sorella or fratello loved me, wanted to be with me they always chose Terzo or Secondo-"...................

That was enough to snap you out of it as you pushed against the large man pinning you. "Secondo- Secondo stop". When he didn't listen you grew angry using all the strength in your small frame you shoved him back the man looking surprised.

"Secondo" You spoke firmly. "We had our moments, we had our fun that is all we were and all we will ever be I'm sorry that I hurt you but I am with Copia now and I can tell you what he gives me that you didn't, actual love he never left after we finished fucking I woke up to him still there and not alone in the bed feeling like someone's dirty little secret, I've moved on and now it's your turn to do the same".

You weren't sure where that surge of bravery came from be it anger or adrenaline but you were glad it did because it seemed to be enough to get through the former Papa's head. As he uttered an annoyed 'mi dispiace' as he once again gathered the shattered pieces of his pride, it was truly over. The rest of the evening you both worked in silence, you hoped that one day you would at least be friends again and put this behind you both.

Another month had come and gone and every time you and the ministry expected the band to come back something else popped up, to which Copia always called and told you even before Sister Imperator told you. Again you would wake up alone in your bed you had long stopped getting excited when you heard a big vehicle pull into the ministry parking lot.

The sound usually being a delivery van so when you did hear something pull in you didn't run to the window like the rest of your sin siblings, not until you heard one of them squeal 'They're back!' Your breath caught in your throat, back? as in back, back? as in your Cardinal was home? not waiting for another second you made your way quickly down to the lobby where the large doors opened.

First, the ghouls walked in tiredly several siblings walking them off to the den to rest and then that's when it happened you locked eyes with your Cardinal you felt like pinching yourself to make sure that this wasn't another one of those torturous dreams where you jumped for your Cardinal but was only met with the bedroom floor. You threw all caution to the wind as you ran from the base of the grand stairs to him watching as his arms opened wide you could feel the sting of tears hit your eyes as you lept toward his awaiting arms.

Tag list: @thesoundresoundsecho @xpapaemeritus @copiasprincipessa @siouxbauhaus @strawberrypimpsimp

[twosdays-trash]

So ive had this idea for a while to continue where the Tooned McLaren left off at season one and exploring the things that may have happened between the end Season 1 and the start of Tooned 50.

Basically what I've got going in my mind is that after Lewis gets changed to Sergio, Prof. And Jenson are happy that "Lewis" is ok. Fretting over him and dragging him to medical to make sure that there weren't any major issues with the glitches, like organs being rearranged, bones fusing, or what have you.

So they bring him in, and medical is also doing the regular concussion protocol: what's your name, when is your birthday, what's today's date, who's the president, etc. and as the doctors go through it they realize that this isn't Lewis. But, as doctors should be, they stay respectful and dont voice their realization out loud just yet.

They go through with X-rays, CT scans, MRIs, blood tests, everything to make sure that nothing is wrong physically. And once all the tests are back (which would be pretty fast bc fanfic physics) they see that he is 100% ok!

So "Lewis" leaves the medical area and meets up with Prof. and Jenson, and they realize that Lewis looks kinda. Different. And they voice their realizations to him. But "Lewis" is confused because, what do you mean i sound different and look different and act different? This is how ive always been???

So prof and jenson are kinda freaked the fuck out! Like, Why is lewis. Not lewis? And while their freaking tf out Checo is like, erm... Im gonna find somewhere to chill because yall are freaking ME out. So he leaves and the other 2 dont even notice.

And then the doctor comes out a little bit after checo leaves and tells prof and jenson that all scans and blood tests have come back positive. No concussion, no fused or mangled organs, bones and blood work are good, everything is fine on a physiological level. But there is something that they (the doctors) are kinda worried about, which is memory loss or alteration.

And the doctors tell prof and jenson how all the answers they got in the eval pointed towards "lewis" having altered memories and a changed personality. They recommend that they treat this "new Lewis" like a new person, and to tread carefully since if he gets too much information all at once that could be an issue and cause complications with him getting his memories back.

So they're like, yeah ok we can do that, then make their way over to wherever Not Lewis is to meet him properly?

When they find him they apologize for reacting how they did (like crazy freaks) and just sorta ask ice breaker questions for colleagues 101.

Oh whats your name? Sergio. oh cool, do you have any nicknames? Yeah, its Checo. Its pretty common in Mexico, Feel free to use it. Nice nice... Sooo... Whats your favorite music artist? Hmm id have to say Alejandro Sanz, i think. Oh thats cool, ive never heard of him. Yeah hes a popular spanish artist. Mmm good to know. And so on and so on.

And oh boy is it awkward. Checo is confused as to why hes being basically interrogated by two guys he vaguely recognizes.

Then later they bring him in for some testing in order to see if he is or isn't a f1 driver. To make sure that if he has no memory or knowledge of driving, the rules, or terms that McLaren are able to get a replacement driver as soon as they can.

As they go through with these tests they realize that he does in fact have the knowledge and ability to drive a f1 car at the level of other f1 drivers. Which is a relief for them because they don't need a new driver and since Checo didn't lose ALL of his memories as Lewis there is still the chance of Lewis coming back.

And everyone is so caught up in being excited that Lewis might "come back" that they forget that Checo is his own person. So they treat him the same as they would Lewis, completely ignoring forgetting what the doctors said about treating him differently.

They make jokes at Checo, push him around a bit like they would with Lewis because Lewis was pretty physical when it came to jokes and stuff, they tease him and make references to things in the past that Checo doesn't remember.

And Checo voices this, says he dosent know what their talking about. That he dosent get the reference or joke. And everyone is just like, Meh its ok, you'll remember and be back to yourself soon anyways.

No one realizes that this is making Checo feel really shitty. Cause imagine. You wake up in this weird place with fuzzy memories of your past, only strongly remembering how to drive f1 (and lower class) cars and your identity. Then suddenly you're thrust into a shit load of testing. Only to have everyone assume that you arent yourself, he may have come from Lewis he is not Lewis. For everyone to treat him like hes gonna be gone later this week and Lewis will be back in his place. Its draining!

And so as the weeks go on they "integrate" him into the team again, catching him back up on the mechanics and PR training. And slowly people start to realize that Checo hasn't turned back to Lewis yet. And Checo is training and working for weeks that turn into months, and everyone comes to the conclusion that maybe Lewis isnt coming back.

Its after months of Checo trying to make everyone realize he is his how person, he will never be Lewis no matter how much McLaren wants him to be, he just isnt, is that everyone stops calling him Lewis or Lew or some kinda fucked up mix between the name. Its only after hes been basically stripped of the only identification that he had waking up here, do they accept that he isnt Lewis.

And Checo is rightfully mad! So he snaps and calls out their Bs, You called me Lewis for months! I told you! everytime you called me Lewis I told you! I said my name is Sergio not Lewis and you just brushed me off! Youve been saying for MONTHS "oh its fine youll be back to lewis soon!" Am i back yet? Am i Lewis yet?!

Everyone is stunned and like oh shit we messed this up majorly. They set to fixing their mistakes, but that's a huge mountain to climb. And Checo is NOT gonna make it easy for them either.

And thats all ive got for now! Ive got some physical sketches drawn out that i might post on my art account ( @markotheartshark ), so if you wanna see that let me know! Ive also got about 1k written of this is actual Fic form but i dont think it will get past that since i have no clue where to go with it 😭 i might also post that if thats what the masses want.

Anyways i hope you enjoyed this little rant idea ive had!

[getitoutofmymindwrites]

this is long but plz stick with me. i clung to every word u wrote of << the falling >> it makes me happy that u wrote a strong lead. i was able to relate to her… even tho she wanted to give in cuz of the love for joel, she didn’t. i would love if you wrote part #2. i would love it if she didn’t go back to him. ive been there and i know that that’s usually what the heart wants but it’s possible to move on and be happy again… and in a new relationship. well… it took me a while to be in a serious relationship but jumping into something casual made some of my hurt go away. ik the lead is going to europe for some time and as a european i can confirm it’s a fun place where many go to distract themselves… to beginning to end u made me cry cuz it brought an exact scenario (literally the same to the one u wrote) back from my past. im ok now but wow your talent to make me feel everything is amazing. also its not possible now but I was thinking about the cameras in the house and i wanted the lead to give joel one last gift… i mean the alarm system records so… a certain tape can be made. i wanted to vote for revenge with ceo leo but im also glad she was able to pack to leave. ik it’s not what most people want but i sincerely hope she’s able to get a divorce, heal, and find happiness again someday and somewhere else. it takes a lot to leave ur heart behind but joel made his choice and that was to not care about his marriage. thank u and i love everything about ur writing…

My dearest Anon,

Your message made me so emotional, I can’t begin to imagine how it must feel to read something fictional and bring back some of your own memories, especially if they’re that hurtful.. I’m so glad you moved forward and I hope reading this felt more cathartic than painful..

You’d be surprised how many people asked to keep Joel and reader separated.. either because they “hate” Joel, or because getting them back together would make the reader a weak person.

I think human relationships, especially the intimate ones, are so complicated, it’s not just black or white.. That being said, I haven’t decided yet where they’re both going to stand in the future, but I’m gonna give them their peace one way or another..

Thank you so much for taking the time to read something that hits so close to home and I hope you’re having an amazing day 😘😍🫂

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[zurrr]

@nopecontest says no one uses this place to blog anymore, only reblog, so ill post some thoughts here and call it "blogging".

the internet is getting stupider and as i approach my 30s i find myself thinking more frequently about mid 2000s internet and all the dumb things i was interested in. ytmnd. different internet forums dedicated to sonic, ed edd n eddy, and the powerpuff girls. the friends i lost contact with from those forums. avgn when he was in his 20s and just starting out. wanting to make ytps thinking that was my calling at the time. newgrounds. albinoblacksheep. getting banned from deviantart multiple times because i was under 13. none of this is present anymore and will never be present again and thats bleak to think about on a regular basis. kids on the internet today will never experience online memories like this.

im more accepting of working my same retail job forever than i ever was, as the benefits are all i think about and how things could be worse. it used to be a big anxiety of mine, trying to think about how i could break away from retail and never go back to it, but honestly there is nothing else especially when i have no skills or education (if that even matters anymore) but like at the same time i dont care as much anymore. i make enough to get by. i could buy a thing i dont need and still be able to buy things i do need. im in a good position and have things others dont and theres no reason to fret over it anymore.

ive been figuring out my identity lately. i slowly came to the realization that i do not like wearing feminine clothes or presenting solely as female. ive struggled with body dysmorphia since, i wanna say before age 8 idk anymore, and ive always associated this was having an eating disorder, which im not gonna deny that i have. i often calorie restrict, and sometimes i dont realize that im doing this because im occupying myself so much that im not thinking about taking care of myself. this will be an ever-present thing about myself, but im learning that i can combat this by changing my wardrobe. i feel more confident when im not settling for wearing a dress or putting on make up cuz i feel like i "have to", and instead choosing clothes that are actually comfortable and not form fitting. ive been trying to explore this more, still a ways to go maybe, but mentally it's been comforting to consider and ill say here i go by she/they pronouns. it used to be she/her with no hesitation but thats not me anymore.

ive been watching one piece since last year and it's been interesting. this is one of those series that i never thought about watching, mostly because i didnt really grow up watching anime religiously and this is one i knew existed but i didnt think it was something i needed to touch when i just watched western shows. one piece is good. another thing that is good is dragon ball z, another series i didnt think id ever touch. i think both changed me for the better cuz it broadened my horizons and it feels like i made new friends. not in fandoms, i mean characters. im friends with characters. puar dragon ball is my friend.

to those who have been following me forever but only on tumblr specifically, im still drawing the same ocs. theyve gotten more complex, meaning they are much sadder and burdened with insecurities that i know too well. NEVERMIND is the only thing im gonna do forever cuz it's gonna take me a long time to get anywhere with it and i dont have enough time in a day to do it all, but thats ok to have only one creative focus. NVM is therapy and i dont need another project. you can read my webcomic here but it's on hiatus until next year. it is also apart of spiderforest which is a webcomic collective, maybe check out other comics on SF too while youre at it and support webcomic creators.

im gonna be grieving about panda (the cat i used to post about here) forever and thats ok too. she passed away 2 years ago in november and i think about her every day. i dont get as emotional about it anymore though. i maybe could if i focused hard enough on it, but i dont have to do that because i have a another cat now who is named bean. she's 4 and is so fuckin silly (and smelly) and i love her a lot. more rambunctious than im used to, but the memories i and @nopecontest have begun building with her have been well worth it. here she is playing mario sunshine

[anxiousgaypanicking]

OMG P.E.T Logan was so hot! Im imaging Remus building him a new body with tons of memory and computing power that also has more places that can be touched and played with. Maybe a body that has more sound capabilities than beeping, oh liquid coolant is a great way to keep tech from frying too!

Gosh between you and some friends I’m really becoming a technophile

dude i unintentionally was turned into a technophile i COMPLETELY understand (objectum as well? pretty partial towards it - ive always been into inanimate tf but i didnt know that you could be EVEN MORE ATTACHED to inanimate objects!)

remus builds logan a fully functioning body, which takes quite a bit of adjustment due to logan having an old soul. he has to learn to walk, speak with a synthetic tongue, and get used to the fact that every bit of his artificial skin has build-in nerve endings, meaning he can feel and is flustered by bumping against any sort of surface (and the fact remus is always nearby to catch him if he stumbles, though remuss hands always linger on his body a little too long).

hes able to speak, though his voice still has a robotic edge to it. he still beeps when hes especially surprised or shocked, but now theres a plethora of other sounds made as well! and liquid coolant is continually poured into his mouth because its the "most direct way to your water pump" though if it isn't used up quickly, it makes logan feel full and like he needs to use the bathroom, though there's no way to expel the excess. other than being worked up sexually, and giving the coolant the opportunity to run through his radiator and cool his systems down!

[mothfables]

IV. Bunny Cuddles

(inspired by this)

Legend wasn’t sure how it happened.

One moment, he and Ravio were their normal Hylian (or Lolian, in Ravio’s case) shapes. The next, they were both rabbits. The veteran hero bit back a groan at having to deal with this shit again.

...It wasn’t all bad, he supposed. At least the two of them were together when it happened, so there was no need to worry or go searching to find the other. And Ravio didn’t seem overly distressed by their predicament, so that was a bonus.

After a quick glance around to make sure nothing else had changed - they were still in the vegetable garden just by the backdoor, where they’d been deciding what to use for tonight’s dinner - Legend turned his full attention to his partner.

Ravio’s nose was quivering as it worked to process the sudden influx of new scents around them. His fur was a fluffy mess that shone a deep violet in the sunlight, and Legend could see the slightest hint of curls. He raised his head, causing the scarf draped over him to slip (and that was a bit strange, now that he thought about it, that it hadn’t shrunk down with him like Legend’s outer tunic did) and Legend realized his ears were floppy, not straight like his own.

A lop-eared rabbit. Cute.

“Link?” The merchant’s voice was slightly higher than his usual pitch, reminiscent of how he spoke back when they first met. Legend’s ear flicked at the memory. “Do you, um, know what just happened? Was it one of your items or something?”

Legend snorted and stomped a foot in annoyance before freezing. Oh, great. His instincts, usually able to be pushed into the background or ignored, were back in full with the transformation. He just hoped Wolfie wouldn’t be making an appearance any time soon. Goddesses know that wouldn’t go over well with anyone.

“Link?” Right, Ravio.

He sighed, sitting up to rub at his face. “Not one of my items, no. This... The first time I changed into this form was on my first adventure, in the Dark World. It took a while, but eventually I got a moon pearl, which allows me to stay hylian. Then it turns out the Rancher has a fun little item that changes whoever holds it into an animal that ‘reflects their soul’ or something.” He grimaced. “It only works on one person at a time, though. And Twilight’s not even out here, so I don’t know how either of us could have gotten our hands on it. Other than that, I don’t know.”

“Do you think that your moon pearl would be able to change us back?” Ravio asked, hopping closer.

“I’m not sure.” Legend frowned, thinking. “Even if it does, we’d have to get to it first. As we are, we’re not going to get very far without a whole lot of luck.”

Ravio hummed, pondering the situation. “Well... what about the other heroes? Wouldn’t one of them have something that could help? You said Mr. Wolf Hero was experienced with this sort of thing, surely he’d have an idea how to turn back?”

The veteran had to bite back the sudden urge to snarl, ears going flat as he dropped back to all fours. “I don’t want any of them seeing me like this! It’s bad enough Twilight and Sky know; if the Captain or the Champion, or heavens forbid, the Sailor found out I’d never hear the end of it-!”

His rant was cut off by Ravio nipping him chidingly on the nose. Legend jerked back, ears standing straight up in surprise as he stared at the merchant. Ravio only huffed and shuffled closer to press against him.

“I’m sure they’d be understanding if you told them,” he remarked. Legend grumbled some more but ultimately let it go. Ravio nuzzled him approvingly, and he slowly let himself relax. “It’ll be alright, honeybee. We’re not in any rush, and if it turns out someone else needs to make dinner tonight they can handle it.”

“You mean Wild can handle it.” Ravio giggled, ruffling the fur on Legend’s cheek.

They’d have to figure out what caused this and find a way to change back eventually, but Ravio was right; they weren’t in a hurry and the other heroes could handle themselves for one evening. Besides, the entire property, from the house to the garden to edge of the orchard, was warded to the Dark World and back. Nothing could get to them here, so there was no need to worry about predators- aside from Wolfie, and even then the big lug would probably just flop down and smother them over anything else now that he thought about it.

Legend nudged Ravio until the other moved, herding him towards a sheltered part of the garden. Safe or not, he’d feel better if they were out of sight of anything (or anyone) walking by. He circled the merchant a few times, making sure he really was doing alright, before he let himself settle. Tucking his paws under himself, he cuddled into his partner, who in turn nuzzled him again before beginning to groom his ears. Legend shivered at the sensation. Then his eyes fluttered shut and he began to purr, grinding his teeth softly in contentment.

꒰˶  - ˕ -꒱ ⌒)ᦱ

The two of them stayed that way for hours, until the sun set and darkness fell over the land. Twilight came out to look for them only to find two sleepy bundles of fur, one pink and one purple, cuddled up together in the vegetable patch and purring just loud enough for hylian ears (or rather, wolf-enhanced hylian ears) to catch. He gave a soft smile at the sight, which quickly grew into a smirk as he darted back inside. He re-emerged a few moments later with Wild’s slate clutched firmly in hand.

Legend twitched at the sound of the shutter, but was too comfortable to care. He snuggled closer and fell back into a doze, content to cuddle the night away with his partner. Ravio snuffled, drifting deeper into sleep.

Twilight shook his head with a fond smile, hooking the slate on his belt and quietly kneeling down before the pair. Ever-so-gently, he removed his pelt and eased it around them before lifting it, freezing when one of them shifted before resettling.

He carried the bundle inside and up the stairs, fielding his brothers’ questions with a shake of his head. It took a moment of reshuffling to open the door without dropping his precious cargo and then he was setting it down on the bed before retreating.

He’d get the Master Sword in the morning. Or maybe one of those moon pearl things Legend and Four talked about. He was sure there was at least one lying around the house somewhere. For now, though, Twilight lifted the slate again and snapped a few more pictures before letting them be.

The hero- and merchant-turned-bunnies slept on, cozy and content in the quiet darkness of their room.

[ghost-of-a-system]

Sorry if this is weird to ask, im a questioning system but ive been having trouble finding ways to understand myself & about others in my possible system, and i also have aphantasia, do you have any advice? (/notpushing)

not a weird question whatsoever! this may be lengthy so i am going to add one of those "keep reading" things to prevent a whole novel on someone's feed, lol. hopefully it works.

trying to determine whether or not you're a system can be a very long, slow, and frustrating process. for us it took years, and we are still learning new things all of the time, it seems. i don't know if you mean to also ask for advice on determining that, so i'll leave it out, but feel free to reach out again if that was something you were hoping for too.

because of that slow process, it's unfortunately not so easy to try to find out what works for you, especially when you have aphantasia, and, i assume, no vivid-interactive inner world, like other systems. (since we can't exactly just walk around and interact with everyone like we, i assume, could there. /lh) it really is just a process of trial-and-error, trying things and seeing what works, and what doesn't.

we have personally found that we learn best about ourselves and each other through fronting. it is a little broad, but, when we have no inner world or "place to go" when we aren't fronting, we only really have the ability to connect to and explore ourselves when we are fronting. the same goes for learning about others in our system. we personally have OSDD-1b, and do not experience "blackouts" or memory gaps like individuals with, say, DID, would. we have a fairly consistent train of memory, although events do get kind of fuzzy after they happen (within hours). because of that fuzziness, it's not always easy to just remember things about whoever was here once they're gone.

we personally like to use Simply Plural (the app, but it has a website too). it's an app for systems to log who's fronting and make "profiles" for each headmate/alter. the app is handy for many reasons but we personally enjoy how it lets you add "custom fields" such as names, likes, dislikes, etc. virtually whatever you want, hence the "custom". this allows us to be able to list things about ourselves on our personal profiles, that both us and others can look at or reference later. if something like that isn't an option, old-fashioned journaling could always work just as well for logging information about yourself. we just personally find Simply Plural more easy since we carry our phone basically everywhere lol

like all things, that can be tricky, especially for headmates/alters who do not front often, or at all. we have had alters like that in the past, ones who practically never fronted. unfortunately, we were sort of just left in the dark about them, or never even learned their names. we only ever knew they existed for the few moments they seemed to pop in. it can also be tricky if you do have blackouts/memory gaps, or if you have alters who just don't want to log information about themselves, even if it's private. we unfortunately don't have much advice for that, since the first is something we don't have experience with and the second is sort of a just, "can't really force them to do what they don't want to, i guess", unless you co-front with them or are able to learn enough about them to do it yourself.

sorry for the long post. it's easier for us to add details to get our point across rather than summarizing. hopefully it made some sense.