#i mean or ace but it's funnier to end on that note

[beneaththebrim]

on ep 21 of 《莲花楼》 and having such "what do you mean this isn't dangai???" thoughts

cuz that's the thing about censorship, people working under it have to create a language that can fly under the radar, but as a result, works that weren't even trying to fly under the radar but happen to use that same language can get recast in the eyes of the audience

like, there are plenty of cultures and time periods where a certain sort of straight masculinity got constructed around being free and not tied down by married life. works with intentional queer subtext can use that construction to get things past the censors, but works that use that trope played straight [haha] then feel queer in themselves to anyone who's used to reading that kind of subtext

[disclaimer that i haven't read the book or know much about authorial intent re: the show, and it's quite possible that they were doing certain things on purpose to corner the fujoshi market while also being able to say "what do you mean homoerotic, this is a straight show for the straights"]

but it's just so funny to me that a big part of all three main characters' arcs is just, running away from women lol

like with li lianhua, whenever a woman proposes intimate relations with him both he and fang duobing spit out their drinks it seems so absurd. when it comes to qiao wanmian, you could read li lianhua as being heartbroken because he lost his childhood sweetheart whom he genuinely loved romantically. you could also read it as him being heartbroken over not being able to love her in the way she wanted him to, not being the heterosexual alloromantic family man qiao wanmian wanted him to be for her--this is also consistent with a lot of his angst around not being able to live up to the ideal hero so many people wanted him to be. so, a reader of queer subtext has a lot of ambiguity to play with, whether he's bi or gay or ace. super breedable fertile ground there

with di feisheng. you get the sense that he's definitely fucked jiao liqiao. emphasis on the past tense. or not even, idk, jiao liqiao has femcel energy, it would actually be kinda funny if di feisheng never actually fucked her lmaooo. and damn from his very intro we know who the person in his heart is. his admiration for li xiangyi is so palpable, you can't really even try to say that he hates him [if anyone's hate-fucking li lianhua it's xiao zijin]. jiao liqiao tries to undo his belt and he's like "ew stop." and then a bunch of people double cross him and he just can't stop hanging around li lianhua. he's such an abused pitbull who got rehomed i love him.

and fang duobing is so funny. he starts off running away from princess marriage [understandable tbh, who wants to be stuck in the imperial court] but then at every juncture he assumes li lianhua is perving on women?? his reaction to girl palace is "ew gross!" there's a region of the brain called "awareness of the existence of homosexuality" that's been cut out of him. he is gay.

[ohbueckers]

TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME. i just wanna get to know you, guess i didn’t quite think it through.

CHAPTER TWO! pairing, paige bueckers x fem!oc. notes, thank you guys for all the love on the first part!!! it only made me more excited for this rollercoaster fr... here’s part two 🫦 not proofread… warnings, injury and the angst with that!

july, 2022

it had been a few weeks since sana’s first practice, and things had shifted between her and paige—though not entirely for the better or worse.

the sun had been setting over the outdoor court. it was one of those perfect summer nights where the heat had finally loosened its grip and mellowed to something more bearable. the team had migrated outside because the gym’s ac was busted, and this hangout—just a casual run, really—felt different. lighter. less pressure.

azzi had brought a speaker, blasting music that set the tone for the evening. most of the girls had left to grab pizza and bring it back, but a few stayed behind, shooting around, lounging on the benches, laughing and talking.

sana had blended in perfectly with the huskies these past few weeks, getting along especially well with nika, azzi, and caroline. nika, in particular, had taken a liking to her no-nonsense attitude, and let’s just say practice was a pain in the ass for their coaches when they weren’t entirely focused. when nika made a joke, sana was always there to back it up, making it ten times funnier. you can also say that paige caught most of these strays.

the rest of the team seemed to quickly hop on the sana train themselves. she was a perfectionist in a way that wasn’t overbearing, and it was why her game was so good in the first place. she made everyone around her better by just being herself, and it showed. but even so, she’d built rapport with most of them, save for one notable exception.

paige bueckers, of course.

paige, who had spent the last few weeks vacillating between subtle irritation and begrudging respect when it came to sana. there were moments where she’d find herself looking and wondering why she couldn’t just relax, couldn’t just click with her the way she did with everyone else. if it wasn’t exactly hate, then what was it?

they weren’t at each other’s throats, in fact, the first day of practice was probably as hostile as it had ever gotten between them. sana was mature enough to the point where she wouldn’t let it get that far, but always pushed it borderline to the edge. every interaction was like a test, some back-and-fourth exchange that only left paige to think what the fuck sana even meant by what she’d just said, because she swore there was some bigger meaning.

the first few weeks had been like that. testing boundaries. sana with her measured responses, and paige with her quick retorts and lingering glances in which she always denied, kinda like right now.

paige was standing near the sideline, pretending to dribble aimlessly while keeping a very subtle eye on sana, who had moved to grab a drink of water at the other end of the court. it was unintentional—at least that’s what she told herself—but her eyes always seemed to find their way back to her, no matter where she was.

the blonde found herself noticing other things, things she had no business noticing for the amount of times she’s actually had a conversation with the girl that didn’t include some type of jab. the way sana’s smile tilted just a bit when she was being sarcastic, the way her eyes narrowed slightly when she was focused. paige hated that she noticed those things—hated that sana was in her head at all.

nika, who had been watching the whole thing with a growing smirk, sauntered over to paige, draping an arm over her shoulders. “you know, if you’re gonna keep staring, at least make it less obvious.”

paige elbowed her in the side, pushing the brunette off of her with a smug smirk. “you can shut up.”

nika stumbled back dramatically, clutching her side as if paige had actually hurt her. “damn, alright!” she laughed, tossing her ponytail behind her head. “but seriously, i thought this was just a first day thing. shouldn’t the transfer aftershock be well over by now?”

paige rolled her eyes, licking her lips as more of a habit than necessity as she began dribbling the basketball again. she kept her head down, focusing on the sound against the pavement as she passed from hand to hand, sliding the ball between her legs a few times too. “there’s nothing to get over.”

“sure, sure,” nika said, her grin wide, as if she didn’t believe a single word. her eyes flicked between paige and the far end of the court, where sana had just finished downing half a water bottle, her shoulders rising and falling. she then looked at azzi, who had been making her way back over from messing with the songs on her playlist.

of course her best friend had noticed too.

“wait, what are we talking about? paige and sana?” azzi threw out as if she’d been dying to talk about it for a hot minute. “because you have got a terrible poker face,” the curly-haired girl pointed at paige, the comment sending nika into a fit of snickers that had her hunching over.

paige’s head whipped to her. “nah, you can chill too,” she said, pointing at azzi with mock exasperation. “and it’s not that funny,” paige deadpanned, although she couldn’t bite back her smirk for the life of her.

nika straightened up, giving paige a faux serious look as she tilted her head back thoughtfully. “okay, sure you don’t wanna tell her how good she looks in navy?”

and well, it only made the blonde more upset that she did indeed look too good in that damn navy workout tee.

“i ain’t even lookin’ at her like that,” paige said, too defensive way too quickly. she punctuated her response with a cheesy grin, the type she used to play it cool while her insides were knotting up.

“really? cause you’ve got that whole wistful longing look on lock down.” nika gave her a look herself, a long one that made the blonde semi-uncomfortable. the brunette was reading her to filth, but paige had came to the conclusion awhile ago that nothing could happen if the feelings weren’t reciprocated. nothing would happen.

“wistful?” paige stared, shaking her head. “she hates me.”

nika raised her eyebrows, jerking her head back. “oh! so you’re saying you’d crush if she didn’t hate you?”

paige huffed out a laugh, scrunching her face up as she let the ball roll to a stop under her foot. “crush is actually crazy, nika.”

“eh, not entirely,” azzi chimed in, her eyes gleaming with that ‘i see you’ look. nika practically jumped for joy at the backup, like it was a victory to have someone else on her side. clearly, she wasn’t the only one who’d noticed.

paige groaned internally, feeling cornered and slightly taken aback. “y’all think i have no self-control? we’re teammates.”

nika crossed her arms, smirking. “i’m praying that you do.”

paige paused for a second, brain tripping over nika’s words. that’s what everyone thought, right? that they were just teammates, that the line couldn’t be crossed. she kept telling herself that too—telling herself that all these games, all the heat, and tension between her and sana would eventually fizzle out because it had to. because it was supposed to.

“let’s be real for a second,” azzi said, looking down as she searched for the right words. she had a ball tucked underneath her arm. “if anything did happen between y’all—and i’m not saying it will—” she shot paige a pointed look, one that told her to not get defensive and cut her off. “—it’d throw the whole team off balance.”

“i know!” the blonde cut in, her voice sharper than she meant it to be. “but that’s not even on the table. nothing’s gonna happen.” she felt like she was convincing herself more than anyone else.

nika shrugged. “i mean, you say that now, but feelings are weird. and they don’t care about what’s allowed.”

paige stayed quiet for a second, turning over the idea. they don’t care about what’s allowed. feelings don’t care about what you’ve got going on, they just seep their way in.

she knew the rules, of course—both the ones the coaching staff had laid out and the unspoken ones. she couldn’t let this thing, whatever it was, turn into more. it wasn’t just about her or sana. it was about the team. the season. the future. the problem was that knowing that didn’t make the tension between them any less real. or maybe it was all in her head.

they don’t care about what’s allowed.

just as paige was about to respond, sana, oblivious—or pretending to be—was making her way back over to the group, the lazy saunter in her step practically designed to test paige’s patience. she straightened up instinctively, breathing in all straight-faced as she leaned over to pick up the ball from the ground.

“i brought friends,” she announced, caroline and ice stalking behind her. “what are you guys so serious about?” sana then asked, her eyes shifting between nika and azzi before landing on paige, as if her comment was more directed at the blonde. the question felt a little too casual, like sana had noticed how much less at ease paige was compared to just a few moments ago before she’d left.

“uh,” paige cleared her throat, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, feeling uncharacteristically off-balance. “we were just…talkin’ about the team.”

nika stared at her friend in actual disbelief. she was stuttering, and normally she’d jump to make fun of her for it, but she wanted to observe how this would play out. her answer was vague, sure, but it was the best she could come up with on the spot. paige wasn’t used to being caught off guard, especially not by sana. their interactions—when they did happen—were usually trash talk that was easy to brush off in the moment but lingered with her long after. but right now, there was something about sana’s direct attention that had her fumbling.

meanwhile, sana caught the hesitation in paige’s voice. she tilted her head ever so slightly, her smirk growing a little wider. paige stuttering? that was a first.

paige never stuttered.

ice broke the brief silence with a laugh. “are we playin’ or what?”

paige, determined to regain her footing, grinned and stepped back, dribbling the ball lazily between her legs as she walked backward. her eyes stayed locked on sana’s, her confidence slowly returning. “we’ll start,” she said, her voice a little lower now, challenging. “just don’t be mad when i drop 30 on you.”

sana’s smirk didn’t falter. she strolled closer, her hands clasped behind her back. “oh, you think you’re actually gonna score on me? i didn’t even know you had jokes like that.”

paige scrunched her face up, half from the setting sun taking over her eyesight, and half in disbelief. “i got more than just jokes,” she shot back, continuing to walk backward, her grin widening as she bounced the ball from hand to hand. “you ready to see?”

“i’m ready for you to see,” sana countered. her eyes moved down to the ball for a second before rising to meet paige’s again. then maybe to her perfectly parted pink lips, but then to her eyes again. “you’ll be the one sitting down after this.”

azzi, watching the scene unfold alongside everyone else, couldn’t hold back any longer. “double meaning,” she muttered under her breath, making nika nearly lose it beside her, biting her lip to keep from laughing too loudly.

sana’s gaze briefly moved toward azzi, catching the comment even though it was quiet. for a split second, her confident smirk faltered, and she narrowed her eyes at paige. “what were you talking about before i came back?” she asked, and the blonde should’ve known sana of all people would ask even if she had the slightest feeling it was about her. she was confrontational.

paige felt the shift immediately, recognizing that azzi’s offhand comment had landed. but instead of backing down, she kept her cool, though her heart was beating a little faster. “nothin’ you can’t handle,” she replied, her tone smug as she kept dribbling.

sana paused, tilting her head as she always did as if she was trying to piece everything together. “you guys talking about me?”

paige hesitated for half a second, barely noticeable to anyone except herself. “paranoid?”

“curious.”

paige licked her lips, holding her ground. “i said it was nothin’ you can’t handle, remember?”

sana’s smirk shifted, becoming a little sharper as she moved just close enough to make her presence felt. “right,” she said slowly, as if she didn’t believe her. “just wondering if i’m that interesting.”

the blonde’s eyes narrowed, fingers tightening around the basketball. “only when you talk too much.” she smiled, a wide one that left sana actually laughing as she pushed at her shoulder with two hands.

“shut up.”

paige stumbled back slightly, more out of performance than anything else, her grin never faltering. “you love to hate me, don’t you?”

sana blinked, clearly thrown, and for a moment paige had thought she’d pushed too far. crossed some invisible line she couldn’t quite see. but what she wasn’t ready for was the simple, almost quiet reply that followed. in fact, sana cursed herself for how vulnerable she sounded, that her mind felt the need to make it known to paige.

“i don’t hate you.”

and well, paige was thrown too.

august, 2022

you could’ve asked paige bueckers two weeks ago where she’d be today, right now, and it would be nowhere along the lines of sitting hopelessly in her bed with a torn acl injury. two weeks ago, she was at practice, thinking about championships, the first game all the way in november, and how invincible they’d be this season. two weeks ago, everything made sense.

now, nothing did.

she stared at the ceiling, the weight of the brace on her knee acting like a reminder she couldn’t shake off. the ache wasn’t just physical—it was deep, gnawing at her, like she’d lost a part of herself. this wasn’t supposed to happen. not to her. and now, she couldn’t even walk without wincing.

her phone vibrated with a text from her mom, the same encouraging words she’d gotten since the surgery: “you’re strong, paige. you’ll get through this.”

she knew her family meant well, but the truth was, they weren’t here. they weren’t the ones stuck in this room, feeling like the walls were closing in. they weren’t the ones who had to deal with the brutal reality of an injury that would change everything. they came through, sure—reassured her, gave her hugs, gifts, and pep talks, but then they left. they had lives to return to, jobs, obligations. paige was left here, marooned on campus, staring at a future she couldn’t control.

she hadn’t even been able to bring herself to watch the replay of the moment it happened. the wrong landing, the sharp twist, the way she knew immediately that something was off. the doctor’s words played on a loop in her head: “it’s a torn acl, paige. you’re gonna need surgery.” it was like they were speaking in slow motion, but time sped up so quickly after that. surgery dates just days after, recovery plans, the end of everything she’d been working for—at least for the season, maybe more.

how did this happen so fast?

she let out a breath, reaching for the bottle of water on her bedside table. caroline had been a constant, at least. she’d stuck around, even when she could’ve gone home to her family, to summer plans that didn’t involve taking care of her friend. the blonde was grateful, but there was a part of her that felt…resentful. she didn’t want to be anyone’s burden, and yet, here she was.

the door creaked open, and paige looked up, expecting caroline to walk in with her usual easy smile. but it wasn’t caroline.

it was sana.

paige’s brows furrowed. she didn’t expect to see her until practices started up again, let alone here, on campus, in the middle of summer. her hair was braided into two neat french braids, her skin glowing like she hadn’t just been dealing with whatever hell life had thrown at her.

“sana… what’re you doing here?” paige asked, more bluntly than she intended. there was a part of her that didn’t trust this—sana showing up out of nowhere, like she cared. she’d checked in alongside the rest of the team, yes, but to show up? it was an entirely different story.

sana shrugged, her usual confidence slightly muted. “i thought i’d check in.” she didn’t sit down, didn’t drop her bag. she lingered near the doorway, like she wasn’t sure if she should stay.

paige stared at her, suddenly a little self-conscious that sana had been seeing her like this, her knee propped up on a stack of pillows caroline had set up for her. she didn’t know why. “thought you’d be enjoying your summer.”

sana’s jaw tightened, her eyes flickering for just a second before she shrugged again, more casually this time. “not much to enjoy back home.”

paige felt that. but she wasn’t about to let her guard down just because sana had decided to play the good teammate card. “what, your family didn’t want you back?” she asked, half-joking, half-serious.

sana’s expression faltered for a fraction of a second, and paige caught it. ah, she thought. there it was—something deeper. something that made her just as messed up inside as paige felt right now.

“they weren’t exactly throwing a party for my return,” sana said, leaning against the wall now, arms crossed over her chest. she avoided eye contact, and paige suddenly felt like an asshole for pressing.

“everybody’s got their shit right now then, huh?” paige muttered, sighing as she leaned back against the her headboard.

sana glanced at her, a small smirk playing on her lips, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “yeah, something like that.” she finally moved from the doorway, settling on the chair across the room. there was still distance between them, but it was the closest they’d ever gotten to having a multi-layered conversation, something that unlocked all of the fronts sana had put up.

paige shifted slightly, watching her. the tension between them, however, was still there—longing, unspoken things neither of them seemed ready to admit, but for once, it felt like they weren’t playing a game. paige didn’t know if she could handle another layer of uncertainty in her life right now, but this? it felt different. on the other hand, she couldn’t shake the feeling that sana was here out of obligation rather than choice.

“why’d you really come?” paige asked, her voice softer now.

sana met her eyes, a set of absolutely exhausted blue hues. “i know we’re not exactly best friends, but it felt like the right thing to do,” she huffed out.

paige couldn’t help but smirk, and sana had seen that look before. she furrowed her eyebrows, already sensing the shift. “what?” she asked, her hands gesturing in a way that made it clear she wasn’t about to play along with whatever paige was thinking.

her smirk widened. “who knew all it would take is me getting injured for you to stop hating me.”

sana’s reaction was immediate. her lips parted slightly, and she gave a little shake of her head, almost as if she couldn’t believe the words had just come out of paige’s mouth. “i told you i didn’t hate you, p. i’ve never hated you.” the words came out firm, but not defensive.

“you do know you act like it though, right?” she was almost pleading for honesty at this point. “before your transfer. you never even looked my way.”

sana blinked, her posture stiffening slightly. it wasn’t like paige to push like this, to dig beneath the surface. and she definitely hadn’t expected to come here and admit so much, but maybe all they needed was to be sat down in a room together. no noise, no basketball. still, sana couldn’t help the way her defenses rose instinctively. “i didn’t have to look your way,” she said, but there was no bite to her words. it was more of an explanation, a little tired and raw. “everyone already was.”

paige didn’t move, just blinked. “except you.”

sana opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out at first. she wasn’t sure how to explain it—to put into words why she had kept her distance. why she acted like paige didn’t exist, like she wasn’t the one person who’d always gotten under her skin without even trying.

“i don’t know,” sana finally admitted. “i guess… i didn’t want to.”

paige raised an eyebrow. “didn’t want to?”

she let out a breath, leaning forward slightly as if the weight of her thoughts was too much to bear while sitting back. “i’m just competitive. i push myself hard, and you’re one of the best. it’s not hate; it’s just… i don’t know. maybe i was trying to keep up with you.”

sana caruso had said she didn’t know two times practically within the same breath. for the first time, she’d seen the girl actually be unsure of something, unsure about her.

“and i’ve never hated you,” sana repeated, locking eyes with paige as if she needed her to really feel it. “i admire you, actually.”

was this real life?

“i guess i always thought you were untouchable,” paige confessed, mainly because it felt right. “like, you had everything figured out. and here i am, sitting on the sidelines while you about to be out there thriving.” she could’ve chuckled at the thought.

sana shook her head, the playful bravado she usually wore like armor slipping away. “you have no idea how often i felt like i was just pretending. like i was always one mistake away from everyone realizing i wasn’t as good as they thought.”

for a moment, paige didn’t know what to say. it was almost laughable—how similar they were in all the ways that mattered, but neither of them had seen it until now.

“i get that,” she finally said, her voice stripped of its usual humor. “i get it more than you think. i feel like i’ve already made that mistake.”

sana’s eyes softened, and there was an understanding that hadn’t been there before. and for the first time in what felt like forever, paige didn’t feel so alone. she felt seen. by sana, of all people.

“you’ll be back on the court before you know it,” sana said, her voice a little brighter now. she could tell paige had been getting in her head about the injury again, and although she hadn’t experienced something as life-changing as that, she could be there for her. “i can’t wait to see you kick everyone’s ass again.”

paige let out a breath, a laugh breaking through her chest, light but full of relief. “and you’re gonna get our team that chip.”

and sana smiled. at paige.

our team.

[chronologically-challenged]

The Magnus Archives spoilers but I keep thinking about Jon and Martin landing in the ISAT universe when the fears arrive but like. Right after post loops. So it ends up like:

1) They save these two weirdly accented guys (where one of them clearly has been stabbed holy shit) only to possibly be immediately told that they just got a bunch of evil gods in their world (oops)

2) Jon's eyes absolutely have color when Knowing things or using Eye powers in general.

3) The loops 100% count as a statement and Jon is purposely trying not to be alone with Siffrin so he doesn't munch on their trauma

4) Triple ace solidarity ruined by the knowledge their world is doomed to be plagued by fear gods U.U

5) Martin: "Jon did the fears turn this world black and white" Bonnie:"what's black and white?" Martin: "what" Bonnie: "what" Isabeau: "No but seriously what's black and white." Odile: "I think they're implying that colors exist in their world." Jon: "I see. Colors are apparently unnatural to this world." Martin: "Like that one Lovecraft story?" Jon: "what". Martin: "You know colors beyond our comprehension and what not?" Jon: "I- I suppose??" Bonnie: "Hey! Could this Lovecraft guy be from our world?" Mirabelle: "Wait no. These two just arrived here??? Unless time messed up too???" Jon: "Trust me you do not want to claim him."

6.a) Jon looks at least 10 years if not older than he actually is. He also probably can get along better with Odile anyway. Plus with different universes as backgrounds, the lack of general knowledge around his age wouldn't be obvious. Cue the moment where Jon is asked how old he is and the absolute AWKWARD silence when it's clear that both Jon and Martin are basically Siffrin's age, give or take a few years.

6.b) Bonnie: "Is 30 years old different in your universe? Are you about to die?" Jon: "From embarrassment, perhaps."

7) General discussion/argument/existential dread regarding the Fears and how they interact with this world. Honestly the gang may never forgive Martin and Jon for doing this to them. Even if they do everything they can to help them. They get more sympathy once they find out about the Eyepocalypse and the absolute hell Jon in particular went through. Doesn't mean they have to like it.

8) Siffrin finding out about Jon's knowing powers and asking him if he can Know the name of the island in the North. Jon tries. Then he starts screaming. His eyes are red. Siffrin doesn't ask again.

9.a) The horror and dread knowing that not only is their mission not done. It can't be ever again. And this time, especially if Jon and Martin's story is true... well, the King wasn't easy, but at least he was a person. You can't exactly fight a distorted universe. Their happily ever destroyed forever.

9.b) I could see a physical confrontation happening... if Jon didn't look so absolutely devastated. If he didn't say "do what you will with me, but please leave Martin alone" and Martin yelling at him for being a self-sacrifical idiot. It just sucks so much all around. But it would have been easier if Jon and Martin were bad people. But they're not. Just... broken people doing their best in a broken world. And to do their best to save their own world, the family has to work with them.

9.c) Jon and Siffrin are also idiots with martyr complexes that refuse to talk about their feelings solidarity. Shame that Jon can't help but want to eat Siffrin's trauma cause they probably have a lot to talk about.

10) Funnier note, the slow realization that Jon and Martin in an rpg world. Martin figures it out first and Jon is just. Flabbergasted. Especially when they find out the magic system is rock paper scissors.

11) "rock paper scissors transcends the multi-verse. Neat!" (Later Martin asks Jon if gun is secretly a fourth hand symbol. He does not know and will not Know. He refuses).

12) I think at one point they're gonna have to deal with the fact that statements don't exist in this world. Either Jon gets too close to taking Siffrin's statement or he's going to tell Martin the facts: there is very little way Jon can survive without being a predator. He is an avatar that needs something to fuel his existence. He doesn't want to hurt anyone else ever again. Unless Siffrin wants to write their statement down or someone else does... even then there's no guarantee it's going to be enough.

13) Perhaps wish-craft can save Jon. Maybe. Maybe not. But. The party tells them about wish-craft anyway. It's the one hope they have to fight against this new horror. Maybe it can help Jon too to get out. (Everyone deserves that chance).

I have no fic with this, my fixations are simply crossing over briefly. Hope you enjoyed the ramblings.

[dat-town]

dilemma of love

Characters: Yonghee & female reader

Setting & genre: college au, academic rivals to lovers

Summary: The Prisoner’s Dilemma is a well known game theory concept applied widely but you haven’t seen it applied for love. You might be the first one to try.

Warnings: academic pressure and stress, MC cries at one point, narrative-heavy and a bit cringe ending. i tried to be as realistic with mathematics stuff as i could but it’s been a while since i took advanced math and it shows. good thing is, at least this way it's more understandable (hopefully)

Words: 2.9k

Author’s note: @restlessmaknae it was supposed to be posted 2 weeks ago (which would have made it funnier considering your Taiwanese story) but life happened, anyways <3

The Prisoner’s Dilemma is a well known game theory concept applied widely in economics, politics, even sports.

It goes like this: there are two criminals captured by the police that offer each of them a deal to either stay silent or testify against the other in order to lessen their own punishment. The criminals have to decide between these two choices but the outcome also depends on what the other does. If both of them stay silent, each of them gets a year of prison time. If they both testify, they get two. If only one of them testifies, he can walk away free while the other is sentenced for three years.

You were in high school when you first heard about this concept and it left you flabbergasted that the best response is to testify and betray the partner in crime because the consequences of choosing to stay silent would have potentially worse payoff. In game theory it’s called a strictly dominant strategy which means that both parties should choose to follow this strategy for their own interest. It’s the only Nash equilibrium in this hypothetical game because if only one of the criminals changes their strategies and the other doesn’t, they would be at disadvantage. Funny, isn’t it? Mutually staying silent would be overall the best choice (or at least the Pareto efficient one in the language of economics) but since it’s not rational for one’s selfish interests, it’s very unlikely to happen.

That said, you have a Prisoner’s Dilemma on your own too and his name is Kim Yonghee.

Yonghee became the bane of your existence during college orientation four years ago.

Not many people majored in Applied Mathematics, your year only had thirty or so freshmen, most of them guys as expected, yet everybody was floored by this one guy who apparently managed to score the highest CSAT score among all. It didn’t matter that you had the exact same score, not when you weren’t like him: charming with his small smile and pretty features, his voice so honeyed you feared cavities. No wonder he easily became the professors’ favorite too and the most seeked out tutor with his gentle explanations and quiet diligence. No matter what you did, you couldn’t catch up to him. You were always only the second best and you hated that satisfied little smirk in the corner of Yonghee’s mouth whenever he managed to best you time and time again in every debate or when he could solve complex problems quicker than you.

You thought (desperately hoped) that you would get rid of him once you graduate but of course he was one of the twelve people who carried on with masters studies and once again, he was a competition. This time, however, you had no plans on backing out, he couldn’t take everything that you wanted. Not when you planned to apply for the PhD program under the care of Professor Ryu who only took one doctorate student per year, so you had to be the best. You had to ace competitions and write publications on top of your classwork to stand out. Basically you just needed to beat Kim Yonghee.

He made it harder than expected though and not for the reason you would have thought so.

It all started when you were pulling all-nighters to do an assignment for extra credit but you were struggling to find ways to prove a theorem. You had already gone through the most common ways to prove something in mathematics including proving the opposite but to no avail. You came to the point that it might not be provable at all but Professor Ryu had never done you so dirty, so you refused to give up and search it up on Naver whether it’s one of those theorems. Especially because you heard that Yonghee had already handed in his paper.

But then what was he doing at the library around midnight if not to just bother you?

“You should get some sleep. I saw you almost fall asleep three times under a minute,” he said and if you didn’t know any better you would have thought it was concern lacing his words.

“Don’t tell me what to do. I need to finish this,” you muttered, not even looking at him as you tried to blink the tiredness out of your eyes.

“Want some pointers?” Yonghee asked, lingering around your table gingerly and that made you look up at him with a frown. He stood there in his knitted sweater, his hair soft-looking and fluffy, eyes kind and not at all tired despite the late hour.

“Don’t you dare!” You snapped because there is nothing more humiliating than getting help from the enemy.

The boy raised his hands in a defensive manner and turned to leave but before he actually took any step further, he put down a plastic cup of tea on your table, then he left before you could have questioned his intentions. You stared at the cup dumbfounded, realizing that it was not only still hot but your favorite brand and wondered how Yonghee knew that but then again you also knew that he was walking around with a ridiculous amount of iced americanos because you had seen it enough times during the last four years. It shouldn’t have made you feel special.

Ever since then you started to notice small things like that. Like the way Yonghee looks up every time you step into a classroom but looks away swiftly whenever your eyes meet. That he is the only one who has his full attention on you when you are in front of class explaining a solution, not even the professor is looking so closely. Or the way he randomly drops science papers in front of you with open for publication news. You used to think all of it is just to mock you, to prove his superiority once again but suddenly you aren’t so sure.

Especially not after that mental breakdown you had after your latest, most well-crafted article was rejected. It shouldn’t have been a big deal, you had been rejected by papers before but the feedback for this called your deduction and reasoning technique mediocre and that was the last drop in the glass before it spilled because that day was already shitty with your stomach hurting after something spoiled in your lunch and your landlord’s notification about raising the rent next semester. No matter how much you willed yourself not to not show it, the indifferent mask came crumbling down the moment you left the study room and re-read the rejection email.

That was how Yonghee found you, sobbing in the corridor more out of frustration than anything else. Of course he couldn’t just ignore you and walk away, no, he had the nerve to walk up to you and hesitate over touching your shoulder or patting your back but in the end he opted for keeping his hands to himself, hiding them in his jeans pockets.

“Uhm… do you need anything?” He asked, strained, almost too gently. You hated how sincere he sounded.

“Leave me alone,” you muttered, short-tempered through your silent tears. Your voice turned desperate though. “Please.”

You could tell Yonghee stalled and you wanted to snap at him once more for making you feel so small, so humiliated. But then he quietly passed you a pack of tissues and said:

“Allergy season is a real pain in the ass, isn’t it?” He asked as if you didn’t know he was smarter than to make such a mistake. It was nowhere near allergy season after all and you wanted to laugh at how ridiculous it was, that he gave you a chance to pretend that it was just allergies acting up and not you breaking down over a rejection letter.

You took a tissue gingerly, soaking your tears, patting your wet cheeks until there was only raw skin there and puffy, red eyes. Yonghee wasn’t looking at you though, he wasn’t making fun of you. He was with his back to you, his broad shoulders blocking you from the corridor’s view. His sudden and unexpected care made you feel conflicted and you suddenly weren’t even sure how to react. You decided to go with acting normal, like you would have done with any other person even if it wasn’t normal with you two.

“Thanks,” you mumbled after poking his shoulder, signaling him that he could turn around.

Yonghee nodded and there was worry in his eyes as he looked over at you.

“Do you… want to talk about it?” He asked tentatively as if he expected harsh words in response which, you had to admit, was a reasonable fear. But you were too sensitive and exhausted to pick another useless argument.

“Just a publication rejection. No big deal,” you shrugged, forcing yourself to be as nonchalant as you wished to feel inside.

“Oh, the Korean Mathematics Gazette?”

“Yeah,” you sighed and glanced at Yonghee sharply. “You don’t have to tell me, I’m sure they loved yours,” you muttered bitterly.

“Actually, they called my writing too prosy for a science paper and said that the topic I chose was unoriginal,” the boy snorted, which honestly stunned you because you never expected him to be someone who failed. Ever. He had always seemed so annoyingly perfect and yet, he took it so easily, as if he was used to it. You couldn’t help your surprise.

“Wow, really?”

“I guess they really hate the idea of publishing something from master’s students. I heard doctorate students get more chances,” Yonghee shrugged, unbothered, and even though you also heard the rumors, you still wanted to try out knowing that it would have had a big accomplishment in your personal statement for the PhD  programme.

“If somebody, I thought you would break that stigma,” you admitted  because even if you hated to admit it, statistically speaking Yonghee was the best out of your year. It shouldn’t have but the fact that even he wasn’t good enough for the Gazette made you feel better. Or well, not exactly the fact itself but that he told you about it. He could have stayed quiet and you wouldn’t have known.

“Come on, I’m not that good,” Yonghee shook his head and at times like this you couldn’t decide whether he was such a good actor to pretend or he was really that humble.

“You’re still better than anyone in our year,” you argued because that much you could admit. He really was the best which is both annoying and motivating. Annoying even more when he started to protest as if he didn’t know he was the best. You rolled your eyes at him. “Don’t act like you don’t enjoy whenever you can rub it in that you’re better than me.”

Your accusation seemed to push Yonghee into defensive mode.

“I just think you look cute when you’re annoyed,” he blurted out and you whipped your head to look at him so quick you might pull a few joints in your neck.

“What?”

“Nothing,” the guy cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck shyly, redness coloring his skin. It was an unexpectedly cute look on him. “If it helps, it actually motivates me a lot to know that if I slipped up even just a little, you would beat my ass without hesitation,”

Oh. So he didn’t think that you were easy competition, he did think you were competition to begin with. It gave you more satisfaction than what you would have admitted.

The ringing of your phone broke the moment though but those last few words and the look in Yonghee’s eyes haunted you long after. It made you question everything you once thought of as axioms.

Numbers just make sense to you. You like how rational mathematics is, how unswayed and consistent. It has an explanation for everything. For Yonghee, however, it’s fun, he has told you before and you couldn’t get it. What’s so fun about it? Seeing you struggle over problems he can solve with closed eyes? He says he gets a boost of adrenaline whenever he can solve a problem, that it’s rewarding and this way you can understand the spark in his eyes when he gets to the solution first during classes.

You have no idea when exactly your annoyance turned into lowkey fondness and when you started looking forward to seeing him. At first after that conversation in the corridor, you were in denial, like no way you cared about him of all people, like jeez, you were better than falling for just his pretty face and sweet words… but then you had to realize that there was no point in lying to yourself. Not when prolonged eye contact made your skin feel heated and sent your heart into arrhythmia.

So yeah, numbers make sense to you but feelings don’t.

To confess or not, that’s your dilemma now.

Rationally, based on everything you learned about game theory strategies, you know that you shouldn’t say anything due to the possibility of getting rejected. This way the worst thing that could happen is that even though your feelings are mutual you never know because both of you stay silent. But you wouldn’t get humiliated either which is definitely something you would like to avoid. You have to see Yonghee almost every day because you share pretty much all your classes, so it would be terribly uncomfortable afterwards.

Yet, despite all rationality, all of your mathematical knowledge, knowing fully well that it would go against the advised strategy, you can’t help but wonder about the what ifs. What if you confessed? What if he felt the same?

It’s hard not to wonder when you catch Yonghee looking at you with something other than his usual amused smile or judging frown (or what you thought of as it at least). There’s something awed and fond in his eyes nowadays. It makes you hope foolishly, think that maybe he does feel the same. That maybe he also had a change of heart regarding you.

It happens in the most unexpected yet most you way.

Sometime during the semester you started to exchange brain-teasers, puzzles, mathematical equations with Yonghee, expecting the other to solve them. They got progressively harder and thus, more fun. That’s why you were very taken aback when you received the simple task to solve 128 times the square root of e to the power of 980. Other than the fact that e490 was a huge number, especially multiplied with 128, it wasn't difficult to solve, so you were quizzed, trying to figure out where the catch was.

It’s actually your artist roommate who figures it out faster. She looks over your shoulder to see what you are working so hard on and chuckles.

“That’s cute,” she says and your eyes widen, staring up at Yeojin who claims to hate mathematics with a burning passion.

“You know what’s this?” You stare at her and her mischievous smile.

“Oh yeah and you should definitely take a step back and think outside of the box.”

You are seriously starting to lose sleep over it, especially because Yonghee looks more and more nervous whenever you meet and you don’t tell him your answer. It’s driving you crazy what it could be, so eventually you do something you swore not to do, not when it comes to Kim Yonghee: give up.

“I’m done. I have no idea what this is supposed to be,” you throw your open notebook in front of the guy in the library, startling him in the middle of writing a paper or something. You don’t care. If you have to go one more minute without knowing what he wanted with this newest task you will seriously lose it.

“Oh,” Yonghee looks up at you with a sad, kicked puppy look and you seriously don’t get it. Shouldn’t he be happy, over the moon that you can’t present him with an adequate answer? “Are you uhm… sure? Like you aren’t just trying to be nice?”

What? What does this have to do with you being kind or not?

“I seriously don’t know what you’re talking about. Is this some kind of joke? Or like I missed a major update in the world of algebra?” You question, frustrated, and your classmate lets out a little (endearingly) awkward chuckle before he pulls your notebook in front of him writing down the equation he assigned to you.

“No, it’s… it’s just cringe but in my defense, it was Hyunsuk’s idea,” Yonghee says, clearing his throat as he slides the paper back to you. You stare down at the damned numbers, ready to snicker when the boy covers the top half of his writing with another paper and suddenly a whole different meaning is presented to you. It takes you aback and you look at Yonghee, waiting for him to laugh, to call it a joke but he doesn’t, he just stares back at you with big doe eyes, hopeful and your heart trembles in your chest.

“It is cringe, but…” you agree once you finally find your voice, trailing off. Gosh, you can’t believe you’re doing this. You take the paper back and grab a pen to write i < 3u * 2.

Really, it’s so you: confessing using a mathematical formula. No matter how cliché it is because it doesn’t matter, not when Yonghee’s rewarding smile is brighter than the Sun.

It’s proven then: that sometimes it’s worth going against the dominant strategy because in the dilemma of love, taking risks might lead to happiness you never knew.

[pocketramblr]

bakumight, baby-trapped, and tenyamight au all together is fun

It's funnier if it's also dfo!izuku

We'll add Candlemight Shoto too why not. There's a 15% chance that any given student in class 1A is one of All Might's kids. And it's not Izuku, because the universe hates him.

1- Tensei reveals to Toshinori and Shouta that Tenya is All Might's son. He did not expect to hear Shouta go "him too??" and when he asks if he means the green kid, Shouta goes "huh? No he found that kid under a bridge, I meant me. And also... Well it doesn't matter."

2- Tensei thinks it matters but can't do much because he's got to process those revelations. Meanwhile, Shouta is looking at at father and going "what the hell, you'd think getting baby trapped with me would have taught you but not only did you have a another one, but a third within the same year-" just as Toshinori frowns and says just because he didn't plan for Shouta doesn't mean he regrets- and then Shouta cuts him off by banging his head on the desk because a., that wasn't the point, b., he's just experiencing an ace brand of annoyance., and c., how did both his bastard brothers end up in his class. They're also the two most likely to commit murder. What's up with that, Dad? (Toshinori, who also was under the impression he killed someone and had no regret, looks at his eldest son who has tortured people before and will do so in the future, and says nothing.)

3- speaking of kids and doing torture, we added Shoto to the son list! So yeah the thing is Toshi figured that one out but since that kid, unlike his previous three, involved the other person truly cheating he wasn't going to say anything. Protection of privacy, and the kid's. But when Shouta makes a jab about three kids under his breath, Toshi reacts other "how did you know?" And Shouta is like "I was counting myself in the three, WHAT DID YOU DO" and well, Toshinori doesn't want to say but eventually admits he's proooooobably Todoroki's sire too.

4- Fed up with this, Shouta has RG and Nedzu run paternity tests on the rest of the kids in his class, just to test them against All Might, just in case. And yep, Shoto, as well as Tenya and Katsuki. Then RG hits Shouta on the knee and asks why the hell there's a match for Midoriya - not his father, probably, but at least his grandfather. Shouta asks if there is actually a child older than him after all. Toshinori is positive there is not, and they decide that since OfA is passed on through DNA, Izuku would probably appear related to any holder. But none of them are alive to test against... Except maybe AfO. Nedzu acquires it somehow and another match, so they assume it's because their hypothesis is correct.

5- Shouta and Toshinori burn the results and make sure no records are left. Shouta already had nightmares about how stupid risky the problem child would be around him if he knew just that his teacher was the son of who he was. If he found out about his classmates? About three classmates he was already extremely devoted to?? No. It's too much. They won't speak of it. No one else will ever know.

In another room, Jiro wordlessly looks up at Shoji, who passes her a thousand yen note with a sigh. They won't say anything either, but really, their teachers should be more careful about where they talk about things, especially since some of the other staff already worry about a spy in the school.

[noxiatoxia]

hihihihihihiiiiiiiii i was wondering if u had any advice for people trying to get into thejapanese side of fandom. im so monolingual its making me embarassed. also are there any terms/slang tobe aware of. i saw CP/R and started panicking LOL

KJFNJREHGRJ that's understandable. The term CP means something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT in JP fandom I assure you. Here are some slang tips!

CP: this stands for "coupling" and is the Japanese equiv to the word "slash" or "ship". For example, I will use uhh apollo/klavier from ace attorney as an example. You might see something like "CP オドキョ" (CP Odokyo - "klapollo" in Japanese. Apollo = odoroki, Klavier = kyouya). So if you see CP in a Japanese fandom context don't panic lol, culture shock whiplash

w: you may see multiple "w" like wwww or wwwwwww etc. This is the equiv to "lol" in Japanese with more "w" meaning something is funnier. The etymology behind this is it is short for the word 笑う(warau) which means to laugh. You may also see 草 (kusa) however, which by any standard definition is just the word for grass. However, thru a long game of word evolution, people started pointing out that when you type a lot of "w" it kind of looks like blades of grass! (wwwwww) so therefore the word for grass itself became slang to mean "lol".

88: like "w" you may see many 8's in a row like 888888 or 88888888 etc. This is supposed to mean "applause" or imitate a clapping sound, and is used to show you are applauding something. Usually used at the end of videos to signify a "this was awesome!" or "great art piece!" sort of thing. Etymology comes from the fact 8 in japanese is pronounced "hachi". So two 8s in a line would be pronounced "hachi hachi". This is very close to the onomatopoeic sound for clapping, which is "pachi pachi". Thus, 88(etc) = clapping.

いいね (ii ne): Including this just cuz you'll see it a LOT on Japanese content sharing sites. It is simply the equivalent to "like" as in a like button. So on Nico video for example (nico video is a Japanese video platform, sort of like Youtube), their like button is an いいね button. The phrase basically translates to "this is good!"

R-15: This isn't used AS MUCH nowadays from what I've seen, but it is still worth a mention. Sometimes content may be marked "R-15", which is basically synonymous with "R-18" (18 or older). I'm not too sure why the age discrepancy exists to be honest, and like I said this seems to be a much older thing as nowadays every adult-content piece of Japanese media I see is marked R-18 and not R-15, but just keep it in mind whenever you see R-15 that you should actually treat it like an R-18 warning.

グロ(guro)/ゲロ(gero): slang terms for specific types of content. I think it's important to recognize them either in case you want to look for this specific content or you want to look out for it and don't accidentally click on any page with it. "Guro" refers to gore content (or general disturbing/body horror stuff), 80% of the time drawn/animated gore, but it has been used to refer to real life gore content (snuff imagery, real or fake). "Gero" refers to content centered on vomit/vomiting (again, uuuusually drawn but this more so than guro i have seen refer to the real thing, be careful googling if that sort of thing makes u squeamish). These two tags are specifically used to tag content that these concepts (guro for gore, gero for vomit) are the main focus, and so typically are usually (not always, but a lot of the time) fetish tags. It is also important to note "guro" is a shortened word for "grotesque" so in the context outside of Japanese fandom works, the word can take on a less fetishy meaning of just something being "gross" or "scary" (again usually in reference to disturbing imagery).

エッチ(ecchi)/エロ(ero): Okay, some stuff related to R-18 content, cuz again, I think it's important to know for if you want to seek it out or if you want to be on the look out and stay away. Ecchi you may have heard before. If I'm not mistaken, here in the west, it's used to mean "softcore porn" or "sexually provocative material that isn't full-on sex." Like, you know, actin sexy but not showing nips or dick or whatever. But in Japanese it's a bit different. Ecchi, as used as a tag on artwork and such, just straight up refers to porn. Real or drawn, but obvs in fandom it's gonna be drawn. The word itself can be a "cutesy" word for sexy or refer to somebody who is lewd. You've heard of hentai of course, right? Well, in Japanese, this specific kind of hentai is spelled ヘンタイ or sometimes HENTAI. It is based off the word with the same pronunciation, ��態, which means "pervert" or "abnormal". Hentai, unlike ecchi, refers to strictly fictional porn of anime characters, sometimes people cosplaying as anime characters, but it's usually just drawn/animated even outside of a fandom context. There is very little distinction between hentai and ecchi when it comes to drawings specifically, as far as I can tell. I guess the big differences it that "hentai" is definitely the more popular term, and so is going to be used by west and east fandom equally, while "ecchi" is used mostly only in the east fandom. "Hentai" may also have "weirder" porn based on the fact "hentai" as a word can be "abnormal", but that's mostly me basing it off the word itself and I could be totally wrong. Altho the actual wiki page for hentai in Japanese uses a picture of lolicon so maybe I'm right lol. エロ(ero)/エロい(eroi) is short for "erotic" and is used kind of in the same way that we use the word "sexy", like "this is sexy" or "that's hot as fuck", with hot/sexy being replaced with "ero(i)" in Japanese sentences. Sometimes in slang it is spelled as "eloi" since r's and l's are interchangeable in Japanese.

On that note, other terms: ショタ(コン) (shota(con)) and ロリ(コン) (loli(con)) refer to sexual depictions of fictional underage characters ("loli" being female and "shota" being male). エロゲー (eroge) (sometimes just エロゲ) is short for "ero game" which is what it sounds like, basically a porn game. アダルトゲーム(adaruto gemu) is much of the same, it means "adult game". And ギャルゲー (gyaru ge) means "girl game/gal game", which is NOT "game meant for girls" but instead "game with sexy women".

Ok moving out of the Sex Zone

手描き(te kaki): This one is very important if you wanna find animations by people. The word itself means "hand-drawn", but the best way to describe what it means in terms of how it is used is...well, tbh, the best synonym I can think of is "animation meme". In the west, I'm sure you've seen, there are things called "animation memes" which are sort of animation trends multiple people do. It's kiiiiind of like that. Most "te kaki" are re-animating a popular trend (so just like an animation meme) or are re-animates of specific scenes or, much more popularly, music videos that were already animated in the first place (think music videos by Pinnochio-P or Nanawoakari) except the character is traced over and replaced with an OC or some anime guy. It can also refer to completely original animation that isn't based off a preexisting animation. Sometimes you may see 手書きトレス (te kaki toresu) which means "hand-drawn trace" which refers to specifically the second definition I listed, where the character in an animated music video is traced over with a new one. You may see also 手書きMAD (more on that later...) or 手書き and then the series name they're animating. For example, Danganronpa is ダンガンロンパ. So an animated Danganronpa video would be 手書きダンガンロンパ.

MAD: hooo boy. Ok. I am obsessed with MADs, specifically Death Note ones. A "MAD" is purely a spin or remix of an existing work, usually musical in nature. When you look up MADs it will usually be anime clips, or general other video clips, edited to a song. Think like a YouTube Poop Music Video (YTPMV). Look up "ronald mcdonald insanity" on Youtube. This is basically every westerner's first exposure to MADs. Unlike YTPMVs though, MADs can sometimes have other elements that are not purely musical, and that serve to tell a story/joke. Furthermore, while most MADs are humorous in intention, some aren't. And while 90% of MADs are musical-based, some of them are just shitposts. You may see the term 音MAD be used (oto MAD), which means basically the same thing, except 音 means "sound", so you'll up that 90% to 100% and get only music-based MADs. Some MAD communities have their own name, and that is something you need to find out yourself. For example, I know the Death Note MAD community calls their MAD videos "bakayaroid" (バカヤロイド) which is a play on the word "vocaloid" and one of Light's most meme'd lines where he yells "bakayarou!!" (which means "you idiot!" or "you bastard!")

歌ってみた(uttemita): idk if this counts as fandom but it's handy to know. In Japan, covers of songs are not called "covers". They are titled with 歌ってみた, which translates as "I tried to sing [song name]". So if you wanna find covers of a Japanese song you like, pop in the title and copy paste 歌ってみた after it.

In terms of shipping...

Unlike in the west where we don't really differentiate top/bottom dynamics, this is actually pretty important when it comes to tagging ships. Although, I am starting to see less of it. Regardless, it is handy to know. For example, Danganronpa's komahina (komaeda x hinata) would be 狛日 (koma hina). This, however, implies Komaeda is the dominant one in the relationship. If you wanted to find content where Hinata is the dominant one, you'd have to search 日狛 (hina koma). Again, I think it depends what fandom you're in for how important this distinction in. for example, I find it is very prominent in the danganronpa fandom, but not so much in Ace Attorney. Sometimes you will see something like 日狛日 (hina koma hina) or 狛日狛 (koma hina koma), for example, to imply there is no dom/sub dynamic.

A footnote: Japanese humor and expression is vastly different from English humor. This may seem obvious but I need to reiterate it because people sometimes say things they don't know are usually interpreted badly to Japanese artists. For example, acting "rabid" in somebody's replies, jokingly being mean, jokingly making threats, and stuff WE are used to as obvious jokes (stuff like "i think you should explode maybe" or "THIS IS MAKING ME INSANE") CAN EASILY BE SEEN AS HATE COMMENTS. Please please please if you want to compliment a Japanese artist, just say it like you mean it, like "this art is so good i love it!" or "this art was so emotional it made me cry, this is great!". Obviously not every JP artist is the same so some may know you're joking and some may be aware of western hyperbolic speech culture...or whatever you wanna call it. But the point is, I would err on the side of caution and just express you feelings genuinely and honestly.

Also, regardless of your stance on if xyz drawing is "morally good" (aka incest art lolisho art) and regardless of proship/anti stuff, just Don't bring it up with Japanese artists. The terms "proship" and "antiship" mean absolutely nothing over there. The terms "pedophilic art/problematic art/illegal ships" means nothing over there. I have personally seen Japanese artists get harassed off platforms because they had no clue what proship/antiship meant and refused to engage with bullshit shipping politics culture. You will likely just get blocked, or called an アメリカンお気持ちヤクザ (america okimochi yakuza), which means "American feelings yakuza". The definition of which is a person, typically an American (altho any kind of westerner) who weaponizes their feelings of dislike to attack others in a brutally yakuza-ish fashion. Which sums up my feelings on shipping discourse in general honestly. Don't be that dickhead foreigner forcing Japanese artists to answer to western politics. If somebody's art makes you upset/uncomfortable, block and move on.

I THINK THOSE ARE ALL THE BIG ONES....if you need more help just let me know!

EDIT: FORGOT TO ADD....another important word/term is "mob" モブ and no this does not refer to the little dude from mob psycho (usually). you may see detailless gray characters with the word モブ on their face or such like. This basically means "NPC" or "stranger", and is just used as a placeholder for a civilian, otherwise unnamed person/people.

[awesomecitys-blog]

One Piece Spoilers below

Something that’s really funny to me is that the Straw Hats are speed running being pirates, which I’ve talked about before, but it gets even funnier when look at it from the perspective of the World Government. Like, one day you get told that a random guy in a straw hat took down Buggy, Don Krieg, and Arlong, which gained the highest bounty in the East Blue, 30 million Berries. Which you think is crazy, but whatever, that just puts him on Smokers radar and nobody gets past Smoker, right? Wrong, cause according to Smoker, Dragon showed up and prevented Smoker from taking down straw hat guy. And for a while, that’s it. You don’t hear anymore about him or his crew, which you believe is because of the Grand Line being, well the Grand Line. Smoker calls you up one day and is like, hey, the Straw Hat Pirates, that what they’re called now, defeated Crocodile in Alabasta. To which you suddenly freak out, because know this Luffy kid is a threat, and you can’t have people finding out about his actions. So, the world thinks that Smoker took down Crocodile and that Luffy played a tiny part in that. In accordance, his bounty is now 100 million Berries. And then him and his crew vanish off the face of the earth, which you take to as a relief. Then Kuzan calls, informing you that the Straw Hats pulled up to Long Ring Long Land with Nico Robin in tow, he didn’t catch them, but that they’re most likely heading to Water 7. Great. Well, at least Lucci and co. are already at Water 7, so they just capture Robin, head to Enies Lobby, and… what? They did what? Scratch that, the Straw Hats broke into Enies Lobby, saved Robin, and escaped the Buster Call to boot. Increase the bounty, 300 million Berries! Poof, Luffy and crew are once again the wind, and you think they might ended up encountering Moria, so you send Kuma to warn him, as well as be there in case Moria washes up. Which he does, but so does Kuma, but at least it wasn’t public like Crocodiles. And besides, you have more pressing matters, what with the upcoming execution of one Portgas D. Ace and all the Supernovas arriving at Sabbody at the same time. Then that idiot punched a World Noble, because of course he did. So Kizaru rolls up, as does Sentomaru and some Pascifta, and the Straw Hats were totally defea… Kuma sent them away? Oh. Well, that’s basically a defeat, right? Huh? Luffy is were? Impel Down? Trying to free Ace, who’s apparently his brother? Ah, good ol’ Mellegan, I knew we could count on him to take down Luffy. Pardon me? Luffy escaped? With who? Crocodile, Mr. 1, Mr. 3, Ivonkva, Inzuma, Buggy, Jinbei, and a ton of prisoners? Gosh darn it all, I’m busy enough as it is! All right, let’s just focus on killing Ace and… GARP IT’S YOUR OWN DAMM FAMILY AGAIN! Fucking hell, Luffy just dropped out of the sky, caused so much trouble, and then vanished for two years, but at least he’s gone…he just showed up? Did we capture him? No?!?! What do you mean no?!?! Well, where the hell are they?!?! (Worth noting that Luffy’s bounty went from 300 to 400 million Berries during this time, and that Dragon was his father, which is probably why Luffy was saved by him all the way back in the East Blue.) At which point, the Straw Hats proceed to wreck havoc at Punk Hazard, according to Smoker, defeat Doflamingo, giving Luffy another bounty increase to 500 million Berries, pull another disappearing act, during which they give Big Mom a headache, which you decide warrants a bounty raise to 1.5 billion Berries, and then they hop their way into Wano, in which you have no power. But you do have spies, which inform you that they, along with their allies, dropped both Big Mom and Kaido. Because of course they did. So, you slap a bounty of 3 billion Berries on Luffys head, and the last you heard, he was gallivanting in Egghead, with Kizaru, Saturn, and a bunch of marines heading there to take down Vegapunk. Oh dear.

Like, Luffy and co. should not be where they are now, but they are and they’re pretty powerful as well.

[tsuki-sennin]

Keiwa's Fucking Pissed: The Episode

...yeah no notes that won't lead into explicit spoilers, I just really wanna know what kinda things our new form can do.

Spoilers, I guess...

-Sara-neesan has been well and truly fridged, Neon-chan.

-...course, there's the possibility that Daichi might use her body as fuel for the Jyamato, but-

-Buffa's got the biggest target on his back right now.

-Ohhhhhh, you know it's serious when the sting hits.

-I find it rather interesting that Na-Go's still in the intro. ...that almost certainly means she's coming back.

-"Fossil people" OKAY-

-"I want to see my boy succeed." Just so you know Kekera, in my mind that includes you going like 500 feet into the air and falling rapidly.

-Daichi's really into the role of supervillain, good for him.

-Oh okay, regular Magnum!

-Stage 2.

-I see Ace still views her as simply "Na-Go".

-Fighting for everybody's happiness. That's Geats-P's ideal game.

-I also very much appreciate him asking Tsumuri what she wants.

-Fuck Management, all my homies hate Management.

-How'd you even get in here, Kekera?

-"So, everyone else means nothing to you, huh? :<" FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU-

-Great job Shundo-san <33

-"Y'know... there is a way."

-Buffa's now haunted.

-Hello, Kousei. You son of a bitch.

-Yeah, you lost, man. End of story.

-Really that far gone, huh, old man?

-Shinji Kasahara's never lost his edge.

-Man...

-Loveless, huh? Wonder if Genesis is around?

-Tsumuri-neesan got new drip.

-...I don't know whether it'd be funnier to let Ace's fanclub draw their own conclusions or tell them that their super cool oshi has a soft-spot for his oneesan.

-"Waaaaait! ...I can't afford these...!"

-Jitto's got a stick.

-Punkjack with the save.

-Lots of untransformed fights this season.

-"Oh, hey Tycoon. Where'd you come from?"

-Someone with even stronger desire- Ohhhhh, he means Keiwa.

-Speaking of whom...

-Man...

-...ohhhhh, this is... fascinating.

-Keiwa's taking a huge step forward into terrifying territory.

-Tree Faces

-Oh I see

-Daichi's been counting on them killing the Stage 2s from the start.

-Tycoon takes the stage.

-"Regret, now justification?"

-There it is.

-The big boy buckle.

-For as much as Keiwa condemed the Goddess of Creation, he sure was easily convinced to get her power to do something for him.

-That's not a knock against his writing at all, I think it's rather genius. Even the most important principle hits a limit when desperation hits its peak.

-Set! Avenge!

-Black General! Bujin Sword!

-Ready? Fiiiiiight!

-That's a whole new tone from the announcer.

-...that's a Real-Ass Goddamn Sword.

-There's no flash or gimmick in Keiwa's fighting style here, this man is just straight up out for blood.

-Bujin Sword Strike!

-Bujin Sword Victory!

-"It's just Tycoon. Always was."

-Oh, those're DGP Premium benefits huh?

-Well, somebody's dying next episode to the Shogun.

[paradoxcase]

Chapter 11 of Gideon the Ninth

Gideon really does not know how to say no to attractive women, does she? I'm still on the fence about whether or not Corona is going to turn out to be evil too, but Muir did almost literally name her "Cain", so I guess that settles that

There's actually something interesting here (to me, anyway), because although Gideon just cannot shut up about Corona being hot the entire chapter, except during the swordfight, there's something different about how this is portrayed here, that I don't really see much, or maybe at all? Forgive me, I've just been thinking a lot lately about attraction, and how you write it, because it's a day that ends in y and I have a story that's trying to be written and I keep going back to my Homestuck-fanfic-writing experience, and yeah

Normally when I see stuff like this, it's more explicitly sexual, or more explicitly romantic, there are references to things like people's bodies, to physiological reactions like butterflies, or being warm, or what have you, and I can't relate, depending on where exactly it falls on the sexual/romantic spectrum I come away with something in the range between "that sounds like an interesting experience, let me try to imagine it" and "rolling my eyes real hard right now" and "people like stuff like that? how curious, I must take notes", but this here, and also with Dulcinea in the last chapter, doesn't seem to fall into this category at all, it's all very aesthetic, about the general picture/vibes the person gives off, about the sound of their voice, about smiles and laughter, and so I can say, yes, I feel you, I get this experience you're having. I don't think it's a male gaze thing, because I see the same stuff happening in the female-dominated fanfiction world (most of the time there, actually, although certainly not exclusively), and I also really don't think it's intended to be an ace thing, because I'm pretty sure that no one in this book is intended to be ace, least of all Gideon. I don't know, though, maybe this will change later and it will become the same old same old. I noticed this today, because immediately after I finished reading the chapter, I checked my email and there was an AO3 notification for a fanfic I'm following, and I went and read the latest chapter, and the difference was stark

Anyway

I note now that Corona initially said she had organized matches for all the cavaliers, but having reached the end of the chapter, I see that we are missing the Sixth, Seventh, and Eighth cavaliers, but Corona did not go off in search of them. Of those we've so far only met Protesilaus, and the Sixth and the Eighth have not yet appeared as named characters, although by process of elimination we can conclude that one of them must be the guy with the missing middle finger who appeared with knife-face earlier

I do feel for Jeannemary, she's only just arrived at Lyctor Camp and already her (not) dad is going around telling everyone embarrassing stories about things she did as a toddler, if this is the kind of thing Harrow was afraid of, I guess I can see why

Please, Gideon, do not write down Magnus's dad jokes for later use, you're so much funnier than that

Yeah, no comment

Naberius seems very unpleasant, but I can see why he's upset if the match was supposed to end when he disarmed Gideon. A little strange that Corona didn't call it at that point, tbh

I have like, less than zero understanding of what this means. Gideon seems to know what it means, but she is not telling

Magnus's comments about Jeannemary's last name seem to indicate that last names are hereditary, but this is clearly not the case given that Harrow's last name does not match either of her parents', and also the pronunciation guide seems to be saying that they aren't hereditary. I am confuse

I wonder what Harrow is up to? I guess this room is going to turn out to be Important

[quailfence]

Some fave additions from the notes:

[Image description: Reblog by OT3. It has a screenshot of a reply by @snarp that reads "What was the AAI data". The reblog itself reads "I don't have the exact line on hand but Lang Zi lived ~2000 BCE.

"Also, to those of you in the notes suggesting this line might be a joke, or they might be eating imitation trilobite: you're correct and i have nothing to dispute these hypotheticals. However. wouldn't it be way funnier if ace attorney canonically had 250 million years of historical divergence? Don't you want to live in that world with me? End description.]

[Image description: A reblog by times-chu that reads "Let's not forget that Sherlock Holmes was a real person in this universe and invented holograms in the early 1900s, which somehow led to a device 100 years later that can see into the past and recreate crime scenes with no information other than the location.

"And yet in the 2020s flip phones are still the norm and all video is on VHS tapes.

"None of this links directly to the Lawyer Religion but I think there's probably a connection somewhere." End description.]

[Image description: A reblog by aromancy, split up over two images. It reads, "For a main setting that's a weird mix between Japan and California, the Ace Attorney setting has a lot of Greek influence. Multiple characters' names are references to Greek deities (all of said characters are lawyers, funnily enough), and one of the professors at Themis is literally named Aristotle and looks like an actual Greek statue."

There is a picture of Prof. Means, then the reblog continues, "What I assume this means (heh, "Means") is that Greece, in this setting, presumably has an awful lot of influence over the legal system as it currently exists; like as not, the Greeks probably developed the "three days to convict" system that the rest of the world uses (and the main cast constantly complains about), and worship of Greek deities is relatively commonplace, especially among lawyers." End description.]

@aa-described @aceattorney-described

[therealvinelle]

What do you think the Cullens would do if some person they were talking to, out of nowhere just quite literally exploded in front of, and on them? Kinda like in that movie Spontaneous. Would they lose control and slurp up the mess on the ground, (and themselves) or would their bloodlust be curtailed by shock of wtf just happened?

I'd say something witty about how this is a strange anon to receive, but holy jesus you've sent me down a rabbithole.

Here's a trailer to the movie Spontaneous. It looks amazing. Kevin Feige wishes this had been his plot for Infinity War.

Here's a trailer for the movie Spontaneous Combustion, which I found by accident while searching for your fic. This looks amazing too. Can't believe Marvel didn't buy the rights to this guy.

I'm serious, people, you definitely want to watch these trailers. I just about died laughing.

So, on to your ask.

In the spirit of your ask, which implies a level of randomness, I thought the people blowing up should be random too. So, being in the mood to procrastinate through spending way too much time on tumblr things, I wrote a program that'll generate for me random Twilight characters.

Unsure whether the explosion should kill vampires or not, I generated an answer. The answer is yes, any generated vampire dies.

Without further ado:

Alice watches Vladimir blow up.

Alright, alright.

The first question to be answered here is why Alice is in Vladimir's presence in the first time. In canon they only meet once, at the end of Breaking Dawn.

For the sake of simplicity, we'll have Vladimir blow up then.

The Cullens and the witnesses are all celebrating being alive, when Vladimir suddenly explodes.

For the sake of the ask, Alice is sitting closest to him when this happens and making conversation.

Her first thought is utter shock. Not just that he blew up, but that she didn't see it coming (she wouldn't, because I randomly generated him. No decision was made). Her second thought is horror.

The Cullens just confronted the Volturi, now mere hours afterwards their allies are blowing up.

Holy fuck, Aro has a gifted ace up his sleeve, and he's using it to kill them remotely.

Panic ensues, not just for Alice, but among all the witnesses. Some of them refuse to leave, Bella has to shield those 24/7, though given the belief that her gift is psychic that doesn't make them feel very safe.

The others decide to go after the Volturi and beg for mercy, assuring them they never meant to challenge them.

Aro, of course, is very confused, but agrees. Why, yes, he does have a vampire who blows people up. Yes, yes he does.

Bella watches Aro blow up.

Oh I'm dying laughing at this one. And wishing I'd put this down for Carlisle, that would be even funnier, but alright.

Bella is walking about post-Breaking Dawn, minding her own business, when suddenly Aro appears in front of her. He looks around himself, utterly surprised by his sudden deplacement, and then blows up.

Bella has been living in terror of this man for years.

In Volterra he had his servant torture her and Edward and then made ominious threats, then a few months later the Eclipse disaster unfolded, finally we have Breaking Dawn where he showed up to murder her and everyone she loved.

Her shield may be powerful, but for as long as Aro was alive her family was never truly safe.

His untimely implosion changes all of that.

I imagine after a long moment of incredulity, Bella burns the rubble, just to be sure, then tells her family the joyous news.

Carlisle gives the guy a funeral. It's weird.

Carlisle watches Vassilii blow up.

Close call, due to my not switching out the names we almost had Angela. In which case Carlisle have stood there, covered in blood and in shock for several long seconds, before bringing out the bleach and gasoline for a crime scene clean.

As it is, Carlisle is minding his own business when suddenly an immortal child dressed like a medieval Eastern European appears before him. It says something in a foreign language that might mean "hi", he doesn't know but he says "hi" to it back, then the child blows up.

Carlisle stares at the rubble for a very long time, wondering if he is perhaps losing his mind. If, perhaps, Aro was right about animal blood being a slow suicide, and Carlisle has finally hit the limit for how long a vampire can go on without human blood.

He burns the rubble and prays for the child's soul, as an immortal child is doomed anyway, and keeps his silence about what happened. In part because there's a solid chance this was all in his imagination.

If Aro ever touches his hand again, and sees the immortal child that he burned a thousand years earlier resurrect, travel through time, all in order to blow up in front of Carlisle, he... well there comes a point where you say "nothing to see here" and refuse eye contact with the universe glitching.

Edward watches Randall blow up.

Randall, for the ignorants, is one of Carlisle's friends that came to witness for the Cullens in Breaking Dawn.

Suddenly he appears in front of Edward, says hi and how do you do, and then he blows up.

Edward tells Carlisle, who is saddened by this, and they try to piece the guy together. They fail.

Edward sends a somber thought to this noble man who agreed with Edward that the Cullens are awesome enough to be worth dying for.

Emmett watches Mary blow up.

Emmett will never admit it, but it's the coolest, raddest thing he's ever seen.

Esme watches Eleazar blow up.

Oh boy.

The Cullens are visiting the Denali. Irina has not been dead for long, but given the crystal clear memory of vampires, and the loss they already suffered (Sasha's death traumatized them) it doesn't really matter how long it's been, the Denali are devastated anyway.

The whole coven is as fragile as it can possibly get.

Then, Eleazar goes to join Esme in the kitchen, and explodes all over her and the kitchen.

The remaining Denali and the Cullens are called to the kitchen by the sound of Esme's screaming, and find her in hysterics, surrounded by gray rubble.

The Denali are near catatonic with grief at this point, while cooking has been ruined for Esme. One moment you're making food, the next people are exploding all over your kitchen.

Yeah.

Esme is not okay.

Jasper watches Nahuel blow up.

It's a shameful moment in his life.

But, hybrids are edible.

And that blood was splattered all over him.

Jasper has the worst control fail of his life, worse even than when he failed with Bella because this fail means he can't be around Renesmée anymore.

It's miserable all around.

The one highlight here is that it didn't happen when they were headed to the Volturi trial together.

Rosalie watches Emmett blow up.

Jesus christ, random Twilight character generator, just when I thought you were just going to give me boring results.

Not only does Rosalie lose the love of her life, the guy who kept her together, the one good thing she had going for her who made her life worth living, but he did so right in front of her, blowing up out of nowhere.

There's no explanation to be had, no culprit to be found, no reason for it. She had no goodbye, just as she can have no revenge.

She will never have closure.

Renesmée watches Renée blow up.

We go out on a high note, my god. Well done, generator, I'm laughing.

Renesmée is curious enough about her grandmother to go to Florida. She was going to watch from afar, but finds herself talking to the woman who raised her mother.

It's all going well until Renée suddenly explodes all over Renesmée.

Renesmée's first thought is nothing, she's in shock.

Then...

Well, she was controlled as an infant, so I don't think an adult Renesmée would lose it unless under extreme circumstances, like if she encountered a singer.

More, though, Renesmée might have any reasons of her own not to drink human blood, but she has been raised with this being a big no-no.

So she shouldn't.

However...

Is she ever going to get a better chance?

Ethically, she could easily argue this is the right choice. No one will be negatively affected by this, at least not directly.

The human is right there, already dead, and there's no body so while Renesmée does have to clean up the gore. Hell, if she laps up the blood on her clothes and the ground she will be cleaning up. Why waste perfectly good blood?

If Renesmée Cullen is ever going to have human blood, this is it.

It will come down to how much she respects her grandfather, and how important she believes Renée was to Bella.

-

Bonus, because I'm having way too much fun with this:

Bree watches Atheonodora blow up.

Bree is minding her own business when suddenly a vampire unlike any she has ever seen before, one with hazy eyes and odd skin, appears before her. They stare at each other. Then the woman blows up.

Bree takes this to mean that exploding is apparently something vampires just do sometimes, runs off in a panic and, sobbing, tells Riley.

Riley, having no idea what to make of any of this, tells her it was those evil yellow-eyes with their witchcraft and sorcery.

[causticfilth]

Introduction

DISCLAIMER

Please DNI if you are: under 18, an exclusionist or "anti" of any description, a TERF, a MAP or any other description of shithead, sad act or fascist. We do not judge, we do not discourse and we do not care what you do with your time, brain or body as long as it does not cause any non-consensual harm.

On that note, hello reader, we are the Coin. We call ourselves that as we are currently only two, which from what we can tell is unusual, so we are working under the assumption there may be others we are not aware of yet, based on observable statistics.

We are a "mixed origin system", or as we call it, no clue whatsoever where we come from and why, but as far as we are aware, have always both been here.

We are 24, transmasculine to varying degrees, Jewish, autistic, unemployed, crippled, absolute disasters in every sense, and that is to all intents and purposes where our similarities end.

We struggle with the words currently in use for the "host" or the "front" as we have found they don't describe our experience, we call whoever is piloting in that moment the "head" and the backseat driver becomes the "tail". Our switches, which, until recently, lasted years, were seismic, and almost ruined our shared life, we call "flips". We will be using this language when describing our own experience, although if you feel this fits for you, we would love if our framework helped somebody else.

We are a "median" system, so most of the time share one another's head memories and can feel one another's emotions, which makes trying to live separate lives, and have our own sense of self, complicated.

My other half will do it's own introduction post but since I have typed this post, I will tack mine on here.

Hi, I am Leo, I use he/him pronouns, I have been functioning as the Head since a hard flip 4 years ago. Before that, I was mostly the Tail for as long as I can remember, with some notable exceptions. This means I am, in many ways, newer to the 'being alive' schtick, and cannot seem to stop fucking up. We live with multitude chronic illnesses, I seem to process physical pain better than the other one, which we suspect to be the reason I find myself drawn to the front nowadays.

I am, I think, grey-ace/bisexual and biromantic, or hyper-romantic if such a thing is recognised, although based on the breadth of my existence being the voice in someone I detested's head, I haven't dated much to find out. I am a writer, I mostly write poetry but am trying to branch into more long-form fantasy so if that interests I may make my own blog for that.

I think that is everything, thank you for reading and have a lovely day!

-Leo

Hey loves, I am The Other One or, as I call myself, the big brother. My name is Tyler, yes that is a Fight Club joke, yes my little brother despises that decision, the more he hates it, the funnier I find it. You know how it is.

I could disagree with almost everything we have already written, for example I consider us a traumagenic system with dissociative amnesia, based on the way my 'mind' works and the memories I do, and notably do not, have. I also do not believe for a second we are alone in here, but I accept the current inability to turn around and face the headspace, for multiple reasons.

I am, currently, the tail of our coin, and have been most of the time for a few years now, so will, presumably, be posting here less, although we are currently working through some stuff, so I have been in the front more than usual.

I guess I'm aromantic, bi, transmasc but not in like, a 'Binary Trans Man' way like my brother, in a fruity, fabulous, fagdyke, femdom way.

I'll be tagging my posts with T and Leo will tag with an L, if anyone wishes to see our posting in isolation.

On that note, peace out and have a cracking day darlings x

-Tyler

[princesstillyenna]

So does this mean we’re getting a Carter ties Cale up and edges him fic?

Also, how does Mitchy’s daddy kink play into him being a sub, if at all?

Hey nonnie... you wanna know a secret??

I hate writing porn. I really... REALLY... hate writing porn. Every now and again the characters have sex on screen against my will and I have to write it, but honestly, it's like pulling teeth. My "normal" writing speed I can usually churn out 600ish words in a 15 minute sprint. My porn writing speed is easily HALF that. Because I am so shit at writing porn. Honestly. If anyone wants to GHOST WRITE some porn for me, that would be ace. Basically I would be like "it's these characters and these 5 things happen in this order" the end. Because I would LOVE fic of Carter tying Cale up and edging him until he cries. That would be AMAZING. But I don't think the writing muses will let me do it. (even though I really REALLY want to) because every time I write porn I make myself sad with how bad I am at writing porn... That being said if anyone wants to make it so the cale/carter tag on Ao3 has something in it that wasn't either written BY me, or written FOR me, that would be amazing... except I just asked for it... damnit. OK fine. I accept my title as Queen of Cale and Carter Love Secondly, Mitch and his Daddy Issues™. OBVIOUSLY he knows he's got Daddy issues... Mitch is hopefully gonna go on a journey of self discovery to learn how to process his issues through kink (NO not all kinks are caused by trauma, however, I have daddy issues AND a daddy kink so that is how I'm gonna write mitchy because it's easier for me... whatever.) But yeah, I'm looking forward to Johnny-boy guiding him through that... after he has like... a complete emotional breakdown about it first. OH ALSO, there is a seperate kink sub-chat (sub subchat LOL) which I nearly published one chapter, and then it deleted itself so I figured the boys weren't ready for you guys to see that yet? Hopefully they will let me show you soon (Side side note, I am well aware the characters aren't actually communicating with me in any way shape or form, I just find it funnier to talk about them like this. The fic deleted itself because I never save my work as I go...)

[iwach4n]

Reminisce (Iwaizumi x fem!Reader)

This is incredibly self indulgent but by god i want to marry Iwa. I want to marry him so bad.

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

warnings: mild swearing

word count: 1889

read time: 7 minutes

11:30am was not a particularly early time to wake up, but considering that you had returned to the hotel room at 3:00 after hours apon hours of drinking, dancing and chatting with friends and family, it was actually quite impressive. You looked and felt a mess, with sweat remaining from the shower you had been too tired to take, hair sticking out in every direction and remnants of makeup, sloppily removed in early hours of the morning, smudged around your face. And yet, Iwaizumi was still looking at you like you were the most amazing thing on Earth.

"What?" you laughed, shifting closer to him under the covers.

"Just looking at my beautiful wife," he responded, with an expression so lovestruck it made you giggle more.

"I'm never going to get used to that."

It was his turn to laugh, pulling you closer against his bare chest, "You better, Mrs Iwaizumi, because I'm going to keep saying it."

You smiled with an expression mirroring his own. In the five years you had been together, you never got tired of mornings like these. Waking up in his arms, taking in every detail of his face, memorising exactly how his body felt pressed against yours. And now you were married. There was nothing better in the world.

"What did I do to get so lucky?" he mused, making you shove him half-heartedly with a laugh.

"Save the compliments for when I don't look like shit."

His arms didn't relent, wrapping around you and pulling you ontop of him. A soft kiss was pressed to your lips.

"I'm not kidding. If someone had told me seven years ago that I'd get to marry you, I'd be overjoyed, and also never believe them," Iwa said, before catching himself on his words.

"Seven years ago? You mean like first year?" you asked, a hint of amusement in your voice as you rested your chin on his chest. He groaned a little in embarrassment.

"Okay, so I may have lied when I said I started liking you at the start of third year."

You couldn't help but start laughing for real now.

"We didn't even talk in first year!"

"I know, but I was sixteen! What was I supposed to do, not fall for the cute girl who helped me with my English homework?" he defended as you rolled off him in your laughter, finding his reaction funnier than the actual situation.

"You're so adorable," you said, pecking him on the lips and giggling at his red face.

"Asking you for help with that English was probably the best decision of my life." His hand found its way to yours under the covers, calloused fingers intertwining with your soft ones.

"I can't believe that's actually what got you," your laughs were softer now. At the start of your relationship, you had been a little insecure as to whether Hajime liked you as much as he said he did, but you'd grown past that now. Though you sometimes wondered quite what he saw in you, you knew he wasn't lying about anything.

"You were pretty and nice to me and you told Oikawa to fuck off. At the time, that was like, my dream woman."

A snort escaped from your mouth as you nestled into the crook of his arm, tracing patterns along his chest.

"I think the moment I really fell for you was when I first saw you play in a match," you mused, remembering being dragged to watch with your friends in second year and not regretting it one bit. Your husband gave a small hum of encouragement, as if telling you to continue, so you did.

"I mean, I thought you were hot and cool and whatever before, but on court, you were just so... driven. You kept pushing for one more point," you said, eyes glued to your finger as it wove its way through invisible paths along his torso, "it was like a whole new side of you."

As you spoke, he had buried his face in your hair, and you felt him smile against your scalp.

"Honestly, that's the only way you would've fallen for me. I'd have been much more awkward if I'd known you were watching."

"Looking back, you were so awkward," you recalled, thinking back to your highschool days, "but at the time, I just thought you hated me or something."

"For real?" It was his turn to rumble in laughter.

"You were always avoiding me!" you said in defence, pouting at his growing laughs.

"I'm sorry for making you think that," he said, unable to keep the grin off his face, "you were so ridiculously pretty that I got nervous. And it's only gotten better from there."

"Someone's sappy today," you giggled as he rolled over, hovering over you. He only hummed in response, planting a sweet kiss on your lips, "but seeing as we're remembering the old times, remember when you first asked me out?"

These words were enough to make him groan and collapse off of you, arm going up to cover his reddening face.

"I wish I didn't. Most embarrassing moment of my life."

"I think I need to refresh your memory," you managed through giggles.

"No!" he groaned, "you do not."

"Oh, I'm going to."

Hajime always got embarrassed when you brought up how he asked you out on your first date because it was a prime example of how awkward he'd been at the start of your relationship. You still remembered it vividly, and his reaction to you telling the story was almost as cute as the image in your head, so you would remind him every chance you got.

"Can we talk about the proposal instead? I was a lot cooler with that one."

You ignored his pleas, beginning your narration, "Imagine it-"

"You told this like fifty times yesterday. Stop," he was laughing too, despite being bashful.

"This isn't just what I told yesterday. This is the unabridged version, just for you," you said, and he finally gave up on arguing with a sigh, "imagine it; the last week of third year, and it was coming to the end of a maths lesson - a class I didn't share with the hero of our story. In my head, I was thinking about the lovely ace, who is currently looking at me like if someone was to shoot him, he wouldn't complain, but that his dying wish would be for me to shut up. I was wondering if I should make a move on him."

Iwaizumi's face turns from one of annoyance to curiosity - he hasn't heard this part of the story. You'd never really told him what went through your head that day. Noticing his change of expression, you decided to expand on that train of thought.

"You see, there was only a week left. After that, I might not get the chance. I might never see him again - at least, this is what I thought, as I didn't know that we were both going to the same university the next year. Part of me thought that it was now or never, but I decided on never. He was cool and popular and always seemed confident. If he liked me, I thought, he would make a move himself. This thought crossed my mind as I began to pack my things, and then, as if on cue-"

Iwaizumi's arm returned to covering his face. This was his least favourite part of the story.

"My knight in shining armour burst in, having been let out of his class early, and shouted, in front of the whole class, '(Y/N), I really like you, and have for a while! Please go on a date with me!'"

Your husband let out a long groan at this, the embarrassment still fresh despite it having been five years. Usually, this is where you stopped. It was pretty much the end of the story. But you continued.

"Naturally, I agreed. But, as if things weren't already awkward enough, our good old friend Oikawa decided to pipe up from behind you-"

"Oh my god," Hajime interrupted momentarily, "I forgot about this bit."

"And the somewhat sweet confession was finished off with the lovely note of 'Woo! They're finally gonna bone!'. The end."

It appeared the little addition shook Iwa out of the annoyed mood the story usually put him in, because he uncovered his face and laughed reminiscently.

"We both got detention for that," he chuckled, pulling you back into his chest.

"Was it worth it?" you asked, knowing the answer but wanting to hear it anyway.

"Take a look around. We're married. Of course it was worth it," what was probably the hundreth kiss of the day was placed on your forehead, "I'd sit through a million detentions to keep you with me."

"Good thing you don't have to. I don't think I'd be able to go a million hours without you," you said, beginning to fiddle with his hair, "can I try and plait your hair?"

"No," was the short answer, "we're gonna talk about that first date I asked you on."

"Why?" you asked, cocking your head as your fingers left his hair. The date had been nice, but other than the fact it was your first with your now husband, there had been nothing particularly special about it.

"Don't think I've forgotten about when you tried to say you were hungry and instead said horny, and were so shocked by the fact that your mouth did that that you spilt your drink all over both of us."

"Oh my god, even I forgot about that."

"I'm gonna give you a dramatic narration."

"No!"

The rest of the morning and early afternoon was taken up like this - reminiscing about notable moments in your relationship. Everything from your first kiss, which had turned an uneventful 'date' of running errands together into a special one, to your first 'I love you's, which had slipped out on a late night call. Each of you gave vivid retellings of meeting the other's parents for the first time, which had gone swimmingly for Hajime, but had been incredibly awkward for you until his father made some comment about thinking his son was gay until then because of the amount of time he spent with Oikawa. That really broke the ice between you, but it put Iwaizumi into an adorably disagreeable mood for the rest of the night. Iwa finally got to talk about the proposal, which you had to admit had been very romantic, and then you talked about the wedding the night before.

Eventually, you moved on from the past and talked about the future. Where to go for your honeymoon, where you'd like to settle down one day, how many kids you'd like and when. You decided you'd move to the outskirts of Tokyo, and start a family in your late twenties. You settled on two kids, but maybe a third a little later on. And then, when you retired, you'd move to the Okinawa prefecture and live by the beach. By the time you got hungry enough to need to get up, you felt like your entire life was planned.

You couldn't wait to make it real and have more things to reminisce about.

[aw-eather]

Heather Watches SG1 s7ep13: Grace

Hello friends! I asked on twitter which one you wanted to see next and this was the one so.. I genuinely really enjoy this episode but I don’t think it would be top five? The Kiss TM obviously is up there but its so... sad.. BUT I think its a beautifully shot episode and the director is wonderful. Also if I ever meet Damien Kindler, I have a list of questions. 

I watched this a few weeks ago but am posting it today (11/085/2020) because I forgot I had even typed the notes until the other night when i asked. 

As always, I swear quite a bit but I also cried quite a lot in this episode becuse well I’m a hopeless romantic, I love Space Dad and I had just been dumped so all the angst hurts haha

also also, I leave most if not all my typos in here because I think it makes it funnier and I don’t usually look at my keyboard when I type so I make mistakes. I’m not perfect at touch typing by any standard and I still don’t do it properly anyway. 

Previously on which I don’t need because I’ve seen this show soooo many times 

Fucking Ronson man

Mum says she’s prepared but she’s not

Thers a storm coming and she doesn’t know how bad its gonna be

Two hours top turns into 4 days, 

HER FUCKING GRIN OH MY GOD

Remember your mission, bitch this is Samantha Carter, she forgets nothing and always stick to the mission plan (see The First Commandment, etc. etc.)

Uh oh

Not a ship on its way

I wonder who or what is on it. Well we never find out so no point asking

CREDITS

I am trying to eat and type at the same time this will  not go well

END CREDITS

Love that black curtain with tiny lights they’re using for stars

Cute ship, foe

Of course you wanna talk to them, Ronson but I don’t think its gonna go well babe

Powering up weapons but you won’t get awwwwaaaaayyyyy

Straight into the unknown not-quite-nebula 

SAM NO

WHAT A BAD FUCKING IDEA

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

DAMIAN KINDLER

And BAM baby hit her head

Silence

More silence 

Fucking creepy kid

But if you wanna feel old she’s married and has a kid on the way

You are alone my love

Poor Sam

Of course you do hun cause you’re a good solider 

The didn’t leave you alone honey, they were beamed out

Cuts gone 

Just saying 

Poor Sam

She’s all alone and nothings working and I just wanna hug her

Teal’c being a sweetie 

Being the voice of reason

Stopping her from dying 

“If you sleep, you will die” *Sam falls asleep*

FUCKING KID GIVING ME THE CREEPS

Sam: Is someone there?

Me: IDK Are they? 

Cuts back 

Smart girl <3 

We don’t wanna play with you, you scare us

Cuts gone

“Were you this annoying when you were ascended?”

“Depends who you ask”

The answer is yes, Sam

He is always that annoying 

Her subconscious brain is trying to provide her people to bounce her ideas off of

This is the part of her that wants to explore the cloud, the scientist that battles with the military side of her

Beautiful shot of him standing behind her

Uh oh the ships making noises 

Peter Woste (director) makes some really beautiful shots

Ooooh 

This hurts

Daniel has no idea how lost Jack is

Of course he heard, ya bloody dick head

Jack is so worried about his girl

“Tok’ra can’t send a ship” no they ever can

What is the point of an alliance if only one side ever does anything? 

Is this the first time Daniel is realising Jack’s feelings for Sam? 

Because he seems shocked at Jack’s anger/frustration

THIS FUCKING KID

TEAL’C

He calls her Samantha which he NEVER calls her its…. An interesting choice

He’s right, everything is not as it seems 

Sam thinking of other ideas that she would normally bounce off her boys so she’s bouncing it off… subconscious images of her boys 

And she passed out again

Poor babe :(

Awwww I wanna hug her and protect her 

Honestly I think this way would have worked if it weren’t for that FUCKING KID

She’s not real Sam! 

Who is this kid anyway? 

Alien? Gas cloud?

Her face at the idea of it being a sentient cloud 

“Because its corrosive?” LOL

And shes out again

Did she?? Interesting

 Yeah but actually talking would have helped kid

Ooooooh no

Dad’s about to be here 

I’m Grace… https://youtu.be/688OPQ9WFpA

Hold on while I cry

HES NOT TALKING ABOUT JACK SAMANTHA 

HE WANTS YOU TO BE WITH JACK YA BLOODY GOOSE

DON’T BE AN IDIOT

Oh an initial trace huh? 

Useless fucking shits

They all know he loves her

Its written on their faces

And he’s been doing such a good job of holding it in, damnit

That little look down

A brother to Teal’c awww 

JACK HE JUST TOLD YOU SAM STILL LOVES YOU 

AND YOU LET HER GET ENGAGED TO PETE IM A CREEP SHANAHAN 

WHY YOU DO THE THING AT THE END OF THE EPISODE 

Oh NO NOT THE BUBBLES 

Baby Sam wondering how a bubble can exist 

Adorable 

I’m gonna cry again

Interesting that jack is in street clothes not uniform 

Because this is how she pictures him

Samantha 

I’m crying at this conversation

I could write out everything they say And what it all means because it all HURTS but we all know it off by heart I’m too lazy to rehash it here

I HAD TO HOLD IN A SCREAM

THE KISS AND LETTING HIM GO (she never really did tho let’s not kid ourselves) AND OH MY GOD IT HURTS

THIS FUCKING KID

Bubbles

Dead ass tho i nearly threw something during Sam and Jacks scene 

And whats worse is when she’s back, he would have sat there the entire time until she woke up

And the fear of anybody else hearing her call him Jack

And making an assumption that they’re together and therefore ruining her career 

Makes him shut her down and then she really knows that she has to move on

Because she doesn’t know how scared he was when she was missing

And that he was just as scared as she was when he was gone

But she’ll never know that 

Because he’ll never tell her 

I’m crying again

The way he looks at her

And says shes fine and says you are 

And her sad look

I fucking can’t handle it y’all

I just want them both to be happy and with each other but they’re too emotionally inept to say anything to each other so this is what we have to deal with

And now I have to deal with PETE 

FUCKING PETE 

Final Thoughts: 

I literally cried three times in that episode. Normally its once with Jacob’s scene but this time it was every time Jack was there too. I think my recent breakup is making me soft and all I can handle right now is fluff. Anything else hurts. 

I love that episode with my entire being but fuck me does it hurt

Also who or what is Grace? I have SO many questions. 

Its a beautifully shot episode though

And Amanda’s acting is ace. So is RDAs. 

BUT FUCK MGM FOR NEVER LETTING US HAVE CONFIRMATION OUTSIDE OF ONE PICTURE AND A PASSWORD

[beevean]

In order to learn more Japanese this year, I decided to play Ace Attorney... for GBA.

Last year I tested my Spanish skills with a book - this year I’m upping up the game! I finally felt confident enough to try this challenge, and so far I think it was a good idea! On my own I understand a good chunk of what I’m reading (but it depends on the character speaking - so far everyone has spoken in ordinary Japanese and in short sentences, but I’m afraid to meet Edgeworth and von Karma lol), but since I memorized the English translation I feel like I can understand pretty much everything.

Here are the words I looked up in the first case alone:

感心する　（かんしん）　to congratulate, to be impressed

逮捕する　（たいほ）　to arrest

一体　（いったい）　“who/what/why in the world”

殺害する　（さつがい）　to kill, to murder

至って　（いたって）　very, extremely

巻き込む　（まちこむ） 　to involve, to drag in 

中断する　（ちゅうだん）　to interrupt

章　（しょう）　chapter

確か　（たしか）　“if I’m not mistaken”

確かめる　（たしかめる）　to make sure

真っ白　（まっしろ）　pure white/blank (as in, “blank sheet”/”my mind is a blank”)

被害者　（ひがいしゃ）　victim

調書 　（ちょうしょ）　 protocol, written evidence, record

事件　（じけん）　event, affair

記録　（きろん）　record, document

訴訟記録　（そしょうきろく）　court record

死因　（しいん）　cause of death

毒　（どく）　poison

鈍器　（どんき）　blunt weapon

殴る　（なぐる）　to strike, to hit

大分　（だいぶ）　considerably

具体的　（ぐたいてき）　concrete

証拠品　（しょうこひん）　piece of evidence

受理する　（じゅり）　to accept

象る　（かたどる）　to model on

提出する　（ていしゅつ）　to present (documents)

武器　（ぶき）　weapon

依頼人　（いらいにん）　client

情報　（じょうほう）　information

聞き逃す　（ききのがす）　to fail to hear something

反撃　（はんげき）　counterattack

余計　（よけい）　too much, unnecessary

振られる　（ふられる）　to be rejected, to be dumped

世紀　（せいき）　century

世間　（せけん）　society, people

状況　（じょうきょう）　situation

実際　（じっさい）　practically

日付　（ひづけ）　date

収入　（しゅうにゅう）　income

小遣い　（こづかい）　pocket money

援助する　（えんじょ）　to assist

口走る　（くちばしる）　to blurt out

関係する　（かんけい）　to be related

動機　（どうき）　motive

移る　（うつる）　 to change the target of interest or concern

合図　（あいず）　signal

決定的 （けっていてき）　decisive, conclusive

発見する　（はっけん）　to discover

証言　（しょうげん）　testimony

殺人現場　（さつじんげんば）　murder scene

覗く　（のぞく）　to peek

腰が抜ける　（こしがぬける）　to be unable to stand, to be paralyzed with fear

はっきり　 clearly, plainly

機種　（きしゅ）　type of equipment, model

尋問　（じんもん）　cross-examination

いよいよ　more and more, at last

本番　（ほんばん）　performance

暴く　（あばく）　 to disclose, to divulge, to expose

カギに握る　（かぎににぎる）　to hold the key (idiom. expression)

食い違い　（くいちがい）　discrepancy

すなわち　that is,

矛盾　（むじゅん）　contradiction

部分　（ぶぶん）　portion, section

突き付ける　（つきつける）　to thrust at

揺さぶる　（ゆさぶる）　to shake, to jolt

解剖記録（かいぼうきろく）　autopsy report

明らか　（あきらか）　clear, obvious

些細　（ささい）　trivial

単なる　（たんなる）　mere, simple, just

見事　（みごと）　splendid, excellent

指摘する　（してき）　to point out

生み出す　（うみだす）　to create, to produce

追い詰める　（おいつめる）　to corner, to back into a corner

時報　（じほう）　announcement of time

ずれる　to be out of sync

思い込む　（おもいこむ）　to be convinced that

バッチリ　perfectly, enough

にしろ　though, even if, whether... or...

訳がない　（わけがない）　there’s no way that

妙に　（みょうに）　strangely

クネクネ　 wriggling, swaying

置き時計　（おきどけい）　 clock to be placed on tables

おそらく　perhaps, I dare say

置物　（おきもの）　ornament

瞬間　（しゅんかん）　moment

強烈　（きょうれつ）　strong, intense

細かい　（こまかい）　small, trivial

ぐちぐち　muttering, complaining

主張　（しゅちょう）　claim, assertion

欠片　（かけら）　fragment, shred, ounce

言い逃れる　（いいのがれる）　to talk one's way out of

見逃す　（みのがす）　to miss, to overlook

わざわざ　to go all the way to do something

連中　（れんちゅう）　company, bunch

今更　（いまさら）　now (after such a long time)

発想　（はっそう）　idea, way of thinking

理由　（りゆう）　reason, motive

示す　（しめす）　to show, to demostrate, to point out

時差　（じさ）　time difference

一変する　（いっぺん）　to change completely

先ほど　（さきほど）　a moment ago

救い出す　（すくいだす）　to rescue, to free

探し出す　（さがしだす）　 to track down, to locate, to find out

形式　（けいしき）　formality

判決　（はんけつ）　judgement

言い渡す　（いいわたす）　to announce, to sentence

閉廷する　（へいてい）　to adjourn a court

空き巣　（あきす）　empty house

常習犯　（じょうしゅうはん）　habitual criminal

留守　（るす）　absence, being away from home

狙う　（ねらう）　to aim at, to be after something

立ち去る　（たちさる）　to leave

侵入　（しんにゅう）　invasion, intrusion, trespass

物色する　（ぶっしょく）　rummaging, scouring

逆上する　（ぎゃくじょう）　to go into a frenzy

無事に　（ぶじに）　safely, without problems

スカッとする　to feel relieved

ニコニコする　smiling in a friendly way

記念　（きねん）　commemoration, celebration

慰める　（なぐさめる）　to comfort, to amuse

分からず屋　（わからずや）　blockhead

手製　（てせい）　handmade

次第　（しだい）　depending on

角度　（かくど）　angle

パーッと　 with energy, enthusiastically

ある意味　（あるいみ）　in a sense

幕を閉じる　（まくをとじる）　to come to an end, to close the curtain

連呼する　（れんこ）　to call repeatedly

依頼料　（いらいりょう）　retaining fee

再び　（ふたたび）　once again

引き起こす　（ひきおこす）　to cause

永久に　（えいきゅう）　eternally

Some other general notes:

1) the equivalent of the press button is 揺さぶる - apparently in Japanese you don’t “press” the witness, you “shake” them, which I find hilarious: it gives me the image of Phoenix shaking by the shoulders an uncooperative witness to knock some sense into them

2) the equivalent of “when something smells, it’s usually the Butz” is “事件の陰に、やっぱり矢張”, roughly “behind an accident, of course there’s Yahari”, the joke being that both 矢張り and やっぱり mean “I knew it”/”of course”. Mia also mistakenly calls Larry やっぱり, which I have to say is far more flattering than being called “Harry Butz” :p

(funnily enough, this explains a very weird translation of the name of Larry’s theme in T&T that has been bothering me for years: sometimes it’s called “In the Shadows of the Incident”, which makes no sense and is even a little ominous, but now I realize it’s just a direct translation of “事件の陰に”)

3) Larry doesn’t compare himself and Cindy to Romeo and Juliet and Cleopatra and Mark Anthony (prompting Phoenix to think they’re all dead lovers), he just says they are (not even “were”, lol) the best couple of the century. Good for the English translation for adding a funnier joke

4) Similarly, once Sahwit is finally caught, there’s no equivalent of the awful “Mr. Did-It” pun, for better or for worse

5) When Sahwit gets his wig snatched [cit.], he says “Shut up! You’re complaining about trivial things!”, which sounds maybe even sillier than simply “I hate you” - dude i lost the count of how many times you shot yourself in the foot, what’s trivial is your ability to lie :P

6) Sahwit also switches from 私 and a keigo language full of ございます to オレ and your typical “rude anime guy” accent, something that I think the English version couldn’t convey quite as well