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chronologically-challenged · 6 months

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The Magnus Archives spoilers but I keep thinking about Jon and Martin landing in the ISAT universe when the fears arrive but like. Right after post loops. So it ends up like:

1) They save these two weirdly accented guys (where one of them clearly has been stabbed holy shit) only to possibly be immediately told that they just got a bunch of evil gods in their world (oops)

2) Jon's eyes absolutely have color when Knowing things or using Eye powers in general.

3) The loops 100% count as a statement and Jon is purposely trying not to be alone with Siffrin so he doesn't munch on their trauma

4) Triple ace solidarity ruined by the knowledge their world is doomed to be plagued by fear gods U.U

5) Martin: "Jon did the fears turn this world black and white" Bonnie:"what's black and white?" Martin: "what" Bonnie: "what" Isabeau: "No but seriously what's black and white." Odile: "I think they're implying that colors exist in their world." Jon: "I see. Colors are apparently unnatural to this world." Martin: "Like that one Lovecraft story?" Jon: "what". Martin: "You know colors beyond our comprehension and what not?" Jon: "I- I suppose??" Bonnie: "Hey! Could this Lovecraft guy be from our world?" Mirabelle: "Wait no. These two just arrived here??? Unless time messed up too???" Jon: "Trust me you do not want to claim him."

6.a) Jon looks at least 10 years if not older than he actually is. He also probably can get along better with Odile anyway. Plus with different universes as backgrounds, the lack of general knowledge around his age wouldn't be obvious. Cue the moment where Jon is asked how old he is and the absolute AWKWARD silence when it's clear that both Jon and Martin are basically Siffrin's age, give or take a few years.

6.b) Bonnie: "Is 30 years old different in your universe? Are you about to die?" Jon: "From embarrassment, perhaps."

7) General discussion/argument/existential dread regarding the Fears and how they interact with this world. Honestly the gang may never forgive Martin and Jon for doing this to them. Even if they do everything they can to help them. They get more sympathy once they find out about the Eyepocalypse and the absolute hell Jon in particular went through. Doesn't mean they have to like it.

8) Siffrin finding out about Jon's knowing powers and asking him if he can Know the name of the island in the North. Jon tries. Then he starts screaming. His eyes are red. Siffrin doesn't ask again.

9.a) The horror and dread knowing that not only is their mission not done. It can't be ever again. And this time, especially if Jon and Martin's story is true... well, the King wasn't easy, but at least he was a person. You can't exactly fight a distorted universe. Their happily ever destroyed forever.

9.b) I could see a physical confrontation happening... if Jon didn't look so absolutely devastated. If he didn't say "do what you will with me, but please leave Martin alone" and Martin yelling at him for being a self-sacrifical idiot. It just sucks so much all around. But it would have been easier if Jon and Martin were bad people. But they're not. Just... broken people doing their best in a broken world. And to do their best to save their own world, the family has to work with them.

9.c) Jon and Siffrin are also idiots with martyr complexes that refuse to talk about their feelings solidarity. Shame that Jon can't help but want to eat Siffrin's trauma cause they probably have a lot to talk about.

10) Funnier note, the slow realization that Jon and Martin in an rpg world. Martin figures it out first and Jon is just. Flabbergasted. Especially when they find out the magic system is rock paper scissors.

11) "rock paper scissors transcends the multi-verse. Neat!" (Later Martin asks Jon if gun is secretly a fourth hand symbol. He does not know and will not Know. He refuses).

12) I think at one point they're gonna have to deal with the fact that statements don't exist in this world. Either Jon gets too close to taking Siffrin's statement or he's going to tell Martin the facts: there is very little way Jon can survive without being a predator. He is an avatar that needs something to fuel his existence. He doesn't want to hurt anyone else ever again. Unless Siffrin wants to write their statement down or someone else does... even then there's no guarantee it's going to be enough.

13) Perhaps wish-craft can save Jon. Maybe. Maybe not. But. The party tells them about wish-craft anyway. It's the one hope they have to fight against this new horror. Maybe it can help Jon too to get out. (Everyone deserves that chance).

I have no fic with this, my fixations are simply crossing over briefly. Hope you enjoyed the ramblings.

#tma #tma spoilers #isat #isat spoilers #this is entirely self indulgent dont mind me #yes there is an implication that Jon and Martin lost their colors in the transition between worlds #in stars and time

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pocketramblr · 9 months

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bakumight, baby-trapped, and tenyamight au all together is fun

It's funnier if it's also dfo!izuku

We'll add Candlemight Shoto too why not. There's a 15% chance that any given student in class 1A is one of All Might's kids. And it's not Izuku, because the universe hates him.

1- Tensei reveals to Toshinori and Shouta that Tenya is All Might's son. He did not expect to hear Shouta go "him too??" and when he asks if he means the green kid, Shouta goes "huh? No he found that kid under a bridge, I meant me. And also... Well it doesn't matter."

2- Tensei thinks it matters but can't do much because he's got to process those revelations. Meanwhile, Shouta is looking at at father and going "what the hell, you'd think getting baby trapped with me would have taught you but not only did you have a another one, but a third within the same year-" just as Toshinori frowns and says just because he didn't plan for Shouta doesn't mean he regrets- and then Shouta cuts him off by banging his head on the desk because a., that wasn't the point, b., he's just experiencing an ace brand of annoyance., and c., how did both his bastard brothers end up in his class. They're also the two most likely to commit murder. What's up with that, Dad? (Toshinori, who also was under the impression he killed someone and had no regret, looks at his eldest son who has tortured people before and will do so in the future, and says nothing.)

3- speaking of kids and doing torture, we added Shoto to the son list! So yeah the thing is Toshi figured that one out but since that kid, unlike his previous three, involved the other person truly cheating he wasn't going to say anything. Protection of privacy, and the kid's. But when Shouta makes a jab about three kids under his breath, Toshi reacts other "how did you know?" And Shouta is like "I was counting myself in the three, WHAT DID YOU DO" and well, Toshinori doesn't want to say but eventually admits he's proooooobably Todoroki's sire too.

4- Fed up with this, Shouta has RG and Nedzu run paternity tests on the rest of the kids in his class, just to test them against All Might, just in case. And yep, Shoto, as well as Tenya and Katsuki. Then RG hits Shouta on the knee and asks why the hell there's a match for Midoriya - not his father, probably, but at least his grandfather. Shouta asks if there is actually a child older than him after all. Toshinori is positive there is not, and they decide that since OfA is passed on through DNA, Izuku would probably appear related to any holder. But none of them are alive to test against... Except maybe AfO. Nedzu acquires it somehow and another match, so they assume it's because their hypothesis is correct.

5- Shouta and Toshinori burn the results and make sure no records are left. Shouta already had nightmares about how stupid risky the problem child would be around him if he knew just that his teacher was the son of who he was. If he found out about his classmates? About three classmates he was already extremely devoted to?? No. It's too much. They won't speak of it. No one else will ever know.

In another room, Jiro wordlessly looks up at Shoji, who passes her a thousand yen note with a sigh. They won't say anything either, but really, their teachers should be more careful about where they talk about things, especially since some of the other staff already worry about a spy in the school.

#pocket talks to people #anon #ask game

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noxiatoxia · 1 year

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hihihihihihiiiiiiiii i was wondering if u had any advice for people trying to get into thejapanese side of fandom. im so monolingual its making me embarassed. also are there any terms/slang tobe aware of. i saw CP/R and started panicking LOL

KJFNJREHGRJ that's understandable. The term CP means something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT in JP fandom I assure you. Here are some slang tips!

CP: this stands for "coupling" and is the Japanese equiv to the word "slash" or "ship". For example, I will use uhh apollo/klavier from ace attorney as an example. You might see something like "CP オドキョ" (CP Odokyo - "klapollo" in Japanese. Apollo = odoroki, Klavier = kyouya). So if you see CP in a Japanese fandom context don't panic lol, culture shock whiplash

w: you may see multiple "w" like wwww or wwwwwww etc. This is the equiv to "lol" in Japanese with more "w" meaning something is funnier. The etymology behind this is it is short for the word 笑う(warau) which means to laugh. You may also see 草 (kusa) however, which by any standard definition is just the word for grass. However, thru a long game of word evolution, people started pointing out that when you type a lot of "w" it kind of looks like blades of grass! (wwwwww) so therefore the word for grass itself became slang to mean "lol".

88: like "w" you may see many 8's in a row like 888888 or 88888888 etc. This is supposed to mean "applause" or imitate a clapping sound, and is used to show you are applauding something. Usually used at the end of videos to signify a "this was awesome!" or "great art piece!" sort of thing. Etymology comes from the fact 8 in japanese is pronounced "hachi". So two 8s in a line would be pronounced "hachi hachi". This is very close to the onomatopoeic sound for clapping, which is "pachi pachi". Thus, 88(etc) = clapping.

いいね (ii ne): Including this just cuz you'll see it a LOT on Japanese content sharing sites. It is simply the equivalent to "like" as in a like button. So on Nico video for example (nico video is a Japanese video platform, sort of like Youtube), their like button is an いいね button. The phrase basically translates to "this is good!"

R-15: This isn't used AS MUCH nowadays from what I've seen, but it is still worth a mention. Sometimes content may be marked "R-15", which is basically synonymous with "R-18" (18 or older). I'm not too sure why the age discrepancy exists to be honest, and like I said this seems to be a much older thing as nowadays every adult-content piece of Japanese media I see is marked R-18 and not R-15, but just keep it in mind whenever you see R-15 that you should actually treat it like an R-18 warning.

グロ(guro)/ゲロ(gero): slang terms for specific types of content. I think it's important to recognize them either in case you want to look for this specific content or you want to look out for it and don't accidentally click on any page with it. "Guro" refers to gore content (or general disturbing/body horror stuff), 80% of the time drawn/animated gore, but it has been used to refer to real life gore content (snuff imagery, real or fake). "Gero" refers to content centered on vomit/vomiting (again, uuuusually drawn but this more so than guro i have seen refer to the real thing, be careful googling if that sort of thing makes u squeamish). These two tags are specifically used to tag content that these concepts (guro for gore, gero for vomit) are the main focus, and so typically are usually (not always, but a lot of the time) fetish tags. It is also important to note "guro" is a shortened word for "grotesque" so in the context outside of Japanese fandom works, the word can take on a less fetishy meaning of just something being "gross" or "scary" (again usually in reference to disturbing imagery).

エッチ(ecchi)/エロ(ero): Okay, some stuff related to R-18 content, cuz again, I think it's important to know for if you want to seek it out or if you want to be on the look out and stay away. Ecchi you may have heard before. If I'm not mistaken, here in the west, it's used to mean "softcore porn" or "sexually provocative material that isn't full-on sex." Like, you know, actin sexy but not showing nips or dick or whatever. But in Japanese it's a bit different. Ecchi, as used as a tag on artwork and such, just straight up refers to porn. Real or drawn, but obvs in fandom it's gonna be drawn. The word itself can be a "cutesy" word for sexy or refer to somebody who is lewd. You've heard of hentai of course, right? Well, in Japanese, this specific kind of hentai is spelled ヘンタイ or sometimes HENTAI. It is based off the word with the same pronunciation, 変態, which means "pervert" or "abnormal". Hentai, unlike ecchi, refers to strictly fictional porn of anime characters, sometimes people cosplaying as anime characters, but it's usually just drawn/animated even outside of a fandom context. There is very little distinction between hentai and ecchi when it comes to drawings specifically, as far as I can tell. I guess the big differences it that "hentai" is definitely the more popular term, and so is going to be used by west and east fandom equally, while "ecchi" is used mostly only in the east fandom. "Hentai" may also have "weirder" porn based on the fact "hentai" as a word can be "abnormal", but that's mostly me basing it off the word itself and I could be totally wrong. Altho the actual wiki page for hentai in Japanese uses a picture of lolicon so maybe I'm right lol. エロ(ero)/エロい(eroi) is short for "erotic" and is used kind of in the same way that we use the word "sexy", like "this is sexy" or "that's hot as fuck", with hot/sexy being replaced with "ero(i)" in Japanese sentences. Sometimes in slang it is spelled as "eloi" since r's and l's are interchangeable in Japanese.

On that note, other terms: ショタ(コン) (shota(con)) and ロリ(コン) (loli(con)) refer to sexual depictions of fictional underage characters ("loli" being female and "shota" being male). エロゲー (eroge) (sometimes just エロゲ) is short for "ero game" which is what it sounds like, basically a porn game. アダルトゲーム(adaruto gemu) is much of the same, it means "adult game". And ギャルゲー (gyaru ge) means "girl game/gal game", which is NOT "game meant for girls" but instead "game with sexy women".

Ok moving out of the Sex Zone

手描き(te kaki): This one is very important if you wanna find animations by people. The word itself means "hand-drawn", but the best way to describe what it means in terms of how it is used is...well, tbh, the best synonym I can think of is "animation meme". In the west, I'm sure you've seen, there are things called "animation memes" which are sort of animation trends multiple people do. It's kiiiiind of like that. Most "te kaki" are re-animating a popular trend (so just like an animation meme) or are re-animates of specific scenes or, much more popularly, music videos that were already animated in the first place (think music videos by Pinnochio-P or Nanawoakari) except the character is traced over and replaced with an OC or some anime guy. It can also refer to completely original animation that isn't based off a preexisting animation. Sometimes you may see 手書きトレス (te kaki toresu) which means "hand-drawn trace" which refers to specifically the second definition I listed, where the character in an animated music video is traced over with a new one. You may see also 手書きMAD (more on that later...) or 手書き and then the series name they're animating. For example, Danganronpa is ダンガンロンパ. So an animated Danganronpa video would be 手書きダンガンロンパ.

MAD: hooo boy. Ok. I am obsessed with MADs, specifically Death Note ones. A "MAD" is purely a spin or remix of an existing work, usually musical in nature. When you look up MADs it will usually be anime clips, or general other video clips, edited to a song. Think like a YouTube Poop Music Video (YTPMV). Look up "ronald mcdonald insanity" on Youtube. This is basically every westerner's first exposure to MADs. Unlike YTPMVs though, MADs can sometimes have other elements that are not purely musical, and that serve to tell a story/joke. Furthermore, while most MADs are humorous in intention, some aren't. And while 90% of MADs are musical-based, some of them are just shitposts. You may see the term 音MAD be used (oto MAD), which means basically the same thing, except 音 means "sound", so you'll up that 90% to 100% and get only music-based MADs. Some MAD communities have their own name, and that is something you need to find out yourself. For example, I know the Death Note MAD community calls their MAD videos "bakayaroid" (バカヤロイド) which is a play on the word "vocaloid" and one of Light's most meme'd lines where he yells "bakayarou!!" (which means "you idiot!" or "you bastard!")

歌ってみた(uttemita): idk if this counts as fandom but it's handy to know. In Japan, covers of songs are not called "covers". They are titled with 歌ってみた, which translates as "I tried to sing [song name]". So if you wanna find covers of a Japanese song you like, pop in the title and copy paste 歌ってみた after it.

In terms of shipping...

Unlike in the west where we don't really differentiate top/bottom dynamics, this is actually pretty important when it comes to tagging ships. Although, I am starting to see less of it. Regardless, it is handy to know. For example, Danganronpa's komahina (komaeda x hinata) would be 狛日 (koma hina). This, however, implies Komaeda is the dominant one in the relationship. If you wanted to find content where Hinata is the dominant one, you'd have to search 日狛 (hina koma). Again, I think it depends what fandom you're in for how important this distinction in. for example, I find it is very prominent in the danganronpa fandom, but not so much in Ace Attorney. Sometimes you will see something like 日狛日 (hina koma hina) or 狛日狛 (koma hina koma), for example, to imply there is no dom/sub dynamic.

A footnote: Japanese humor and expression is vastly different from English humor. This may seem obvious but I need to reiterate it because people sometimes say things they don't know are usually interpreted badly to Japanese artists. For example, acting "rabid" in somebody's replies, jokingly being mean, jokingly making threats, and stuff WE are used to as obvious jokes (stuff like "i think you should explode maybe" or "THIS IS MAKING ME INSANE") CAN EASILY BE SEEN AS HATE COMMENTS. Please please please if you want to compliment a Japanese artist, just say it like you mean it, like "this art is so good i love it!" or "this art was so emotional it made me cry, this is great!". Obviously not every JP artist is the same so some may know you're joking and some may be aware of western hyperbolic speech culture...or whatever you wanna call it. But the point is, I would err on the side of caution and just express you feelings genuinely and honestly.

Also, regardless of your stance on if xyz drawing is "morally good" (aka incest art lolisho art) and regardless of proship/anti stuff, just Don't bring it up with Japanese artists. The terms "proship" and "antiship" mean absolutely nothing over there. The terms "pedophilic art/problematic art/illegal ships" means nothing over there. I have personally seen Japanese artists get harassed off platforms because they had no clue what proship/antiship meant and refused to engage with bullshit shipping politics culture. You will likely just get blocked, or called an アメリカンお気持ちヤクザ (america okimochi yakuza), which means "American feelings yakuza". The definition of which is a person, typically an American (altho any kind of westerner) who weaponizes their feelings of dislike to attack others in a brutally yakuza-ish fashion. Which sums up my feelings on shipping discourse in general honestly. Don't be that dickhead foreigner forcing Japanese artists to answer to western politics. If somebody's art makes you upset/uncomfortable, block and move on.

I THINK THOSE ARE ALL THE BIG ONES....if you need more help just let me know!

EDIT: FORGOT TO ADD....another important word/term is "mob" モブ and no this does not refer to the little dude from mob psycho (usually). you may see detailless gray characters with the word モブ on their face or such like. This basically means "NPC" or "stranger", and is just used as a placeholder for a civilian, otherwise unnamed person/people.

#;noxiatalks2ya

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awesomecitys-blog · 9 months

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One Piece Spoilers below

Something that’s really funny to me is that the Straw Hats are speed running being pirates, which I’ve talked about before, but it gets even funnier when look at it from the perspective of the World Government. Like, one day you get told that a random guy in a straw hat took down Buggy, Don Krieg, and Arlong, which gained the highest bounty in the East Blue, 30 million Berries. Which you think is crazy, but whatever, that just puts him on Smokers radar and nobody gets past Smoker, right? Wrong, cause according to Smoker, Dragon showed up and prevented Smoker from taking down straw hat guy. And for a while, that’s it. You don’t hear anymore about him or his crew, which you believe is because of the Grand Line being, well the Grand Line. Smoker calls you up one day and is like, hey, the Straw Hat Pirates, that what they’re called now, defeated Crocodile in Alabasta. To which you suddenly freak out, because know this Luffy kid is a threat, and you can’t have people finding out about his actions. So, the world thinks that Smoker took down Crocodile and that Luffy played a tiny part in that. In accordance, his bounty is now 100 million Berries. And then him and his crew vanish off the face of the earth, which you take to as a relief. Then Kuzan calls, informing you that the Straw Hats pulled up to Long Ring Long Land with Nico Robin in tow, he didn’t catch them, but that they’re most likely heading to Water 7. Great. Well, at least Lucci and co. are already at Water 7, so they just capture Robin, head to Enies Lobby, and… what? They did what? Scratch that, the Straw Hats broke into Enies Lobby, saved Robin, and escaped the Buster Call to boot. Increase the bounty, 300 million Berries! Poof, Luffy and crew are once again the wind, and you think they might ended up encountering Moria, so you send Kuma to warn him, as well as be there in case Moria washes up. Which he does, but so does Kuma, but at least it wasn’t public like Crocodiles. And besides, you have more pressing matters, what with the upcoming execution of one Portgas D. Ace and all the Supernovas arriving at Sabbody at the same time. Then that idiot punched a World Noble, because of course he did. So Kizaru rolls up, as does Sentomaru and some Pascifta, and the Straw Hats were totally defea… Kuma sent them away? Oh. Well, that’s basically a defeat, right? Huh? Luffy is were? Impel Down? Trying to free Ace, who’s apparently his brother? Ah, good ol’ Mellegan, I knew we could count on him to take down Luffy. Pardon me? Luffy escaped? With who? Crocodile, Mr. 1, Mr. 3, Ivonkva, Inzuma, Buggy, Jinbei, and a ton of prisoners? Gosh darn it all, I’m busy enough as it is! All right, let’s just focus on killing Ace and… GARP IT’S YOUR OWN DAMM FAMILY AGAIN! Fucking hell, Luffy just dropped out of the sky, caused so much trouble, and then vanished for two years, but at least he’s gone…he just showed up? Did we capture him? No?!?! What do you mean no?!?! Well, where the hell are they?!?! (Worth noting that Luffy’s bounty went from 300 to 400 million Berries during this time, and that Dragon was his father, which is probably why Luffy was saved by him all the way back in the East Blue.) At which point, the Straw Hats proceed to wreck havoc at Punk Hazard, according to Smoker, defeat Doflamingo, giving Luffy another bounty increase to 500 million Berries, pull another disappearing act, during which they give Big Mom a headache, which you decide warrants a bounty raise to 1.5 billion Berries, and then they hop their way into Wano, in which you have no power. But you do have spies, which inform you that they, along with their allies, dropped both Big Mom and Kaido. Because of course they did. So, you slap a bounty of 3 billion Berries on Luffys head, and the last you heard, he was gallivanting in Egghead, with Kizaru, Saturn, and a bunch of marines heading there to take down Vegapunk. Oh dear.

Like, Luffy and co. should not be where they are now, but they are and they’re pretty powerful as well.

#one piece #one piece luffy #monkey d. luffy #kizaru #aokiji kuzan #anime #funny #mini rant #every time you think their gone #their back #it never ends

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tsuki-sennin · 1 year

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Keiwa's Fucking Pissed: The Episode

...yeah no notes that won't lead into explicit spoilers, I just really wanna know what kinda things our new form can do.

Spoilers, I guess...

-Sara-neesan has been well and truly fridged, Neon-chan.

-...course, there's the possibility that Daichi might use her body as fuel for the Jyamato, but-

-Buffa's got the biggest target on his back right now.

-Ohhhhhh, you know it's serious when the sting hits.

-I find it rather interesting that Na-Go's still in the intro. ...that almost certainly means she's coming back.

-"Fossil people" OKAY-

-"I want to see my boy succeed." Just so you know Kekera, in my mind that includes you going like 500 feet into the air and falling rapidly.

-Daichi's really into the role of supervillain, good for him.

-Oh okay, regular Magnum!

-Stage 2.

-I see Ace still views her as simply "Na-Go".

-Fighting for everybody's happiness. That's Geats-P's ideal game.

-I also very much appreciate him asking Tsumuri what she wants.

-Fuck Management, all my homies hate Management.

-How'd you even get in here, Kekera?

-"So, everyone else means nothing to you, huh? :<" FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU-

-Great job Shundo-san <33

-"Y'know... there is a way."

-Buffa's now haunted.

-Hello, Kousei. You son of a bitch.

-Yeah, you lost, man. End of story.

-Really that far gone, huh, old man?

-Shinji Kasahara's never lost his edge.

-Man...

-Loveless, huh? Wonder if Genesis is around?

-Tsumuri-neesan got new drip.

-...I don't know whether it'd be funnier to let Ace's fanclub draw their own conclusions or tell them that their super cool oshi has a soft-spot for his oneesan.

-"Waaaaait! ...I can't afford these...!"

-Jitto's got a stick.

-Punkjack with the save.

-Lots of untransformed fights this season.

-"Oh, hey Tycoon. Where'd you come from?"

-Someone with even stronger desire- Ohhhhh, he means Keiwa.

-Speaking of whom...

-Man...

-...ohhhhh, this is... fascinating.

-Keiwa's taking a huge step forward into terrifying territory.

-Tree Faces

-Oh I see

-Daichi's been counting on them killing the Stage 2s from the start.

-Tycoon takes the stage.

-"Regret, now justification?"

-There it is.

-The big boy buckle.

-For as much as Keiwa condemed the Goddess of Creation, he sure was easily convinced to get her power to do something for him.

-That's not a knock against his writing at all, I think it's rather genius. Even the most important principle hits a limit when desperation hits its peak.

-Set! Avenge!

-Black General! Bujin Sword!

-Ready? Fiiiiiight!

-That's a whole new tone from the announcer.

-...that's a Real-Ass Goddamn Sword.

-There's no flash or gimmick in Keiwa's fighting style here, this man is just straight up out for blood.

-Bujin Sword Strike!

-Bujin Sword Victory!

-"It's just Tycoon. Always was."

-Oh, those're DGP Premium benefits huh?

-Well, somebody's dying next episode to the Shogun.

#kamen rider #kamen rider geats #geats #geats spoilers #kr geats #the world's next round: trick shot of desire for the grand victory

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paradoxcase · 1 year

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Chapter 11 of Gideon the Ninth

Gideon really does not know how to say no to attractive women, does she? I'm still on the fence about whether or not Corona is going to turn out to be evil too, but Muir did almost literally name her "Cain", so I guess that settles that

There's actually something interesting here (to me, anyway), because although Gideon just cannot shut up about Corona being hot the entire chapter, except during the swordfight, there's something different about how this is portrayed here, that I don't really see much, or maybe at all? Forgive me, I've just been thinking a lot lately about attraction, and how you write it, because it's a day that ends in y and I have a story that's trying to be written and I keep going back to my Homestuck-fanfic-writing experience, and yeah

Normally when I see stuff like this, it's more explicitly sexual, or more explicitly romantic, there are references to things like people's bodies, to physiological reactions like butterflies, or being warm, or what have you, and I can't relate, depending on where exactly it falls on the sexual/romantic spectrum I come away with something in the range between "that sounds like an interesting experience, let me try to imagine it" and "rolling my eyes real hard right now" and "people like stuff like that? how curious, I must take notes", but this here, and also with Dulcinea in the last chapter, doesn't seem to fall into this category at all, it's all very aesthetic, about the general picture/vibes the person gives off, about the sound of their voice, about smiles and laughter, and so I can say, yes, I feel you, I get this experience you're having. I don't think it's a male gaze thing, because I see the same stuff happening in the female-dominated fanfiction world (most of the time there, actually, although certainly not exclusively), and I also really don't think it's intended to be an ace thing, because I'm pretty sure that no one in this book is intended to be ace, least of all Gideon. I don't know, though, maybe this will change later and it will become the same old same old. I noticed this today, because immediately after I finished reading the chapter, I checked my email and there was an AO3 notification for a fanfic I'm following, and I went and read the latest chapter, and the difference was stark

Anyway

I note now that Corona initially said she had organized matches for all the cavaliers, but having reached the end of the chapter, I see that we are missing the Sixth, Seventh, and Eighth cavaliers, but Corona did not go off in search of them. Of those we've so far only met Protesilaus, and the Sixth and the Eighth have not yet appeared as named characters, although by process of elimination we can conclude that one of them must be the guy with the missing middle finger who appeared with knife-face earlier

I do feel for Jeannemary, she's only just arrived at Lyctor Camp and already her (not) dad is going around telling everyone embarrassing stories about things she did as a toddler, if this is the kind of thing Harrow was afraid of, I guess I can see why

Please, Gideon, do not write down Magnus's dad jokes for later use, you're so much funnier than that

Yeah, no comment

Naberius seems very unpleasant, but I can see why he's upset if the match was supposed to end when he disarmed Gideon. A little strange that Corona didn't call it at that point, tbh

I have like, less than zero understanding of what this means. Gideon seems to know what it means, but she is not telling

Magnus's comments about Jeannemary's last name seem to indicate that last names are hereditary, but this is clearly not the case given that Harrow's last name does not match either of her parents', and also the pronunciation guide seems to be saying that they aren't hereditary. I am confuse

I wonder what Harrow is up to? I guess this room is going to turn out to be Important

#the locked tomb #gideon the ninth

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causticfilth · 2 years

Text

Introduction

DISCLAIMER

Please DNI if you are: under 18, an exclusionist or "anti" of any description, a TERF, a MAP or any other description of shithead, sad act or fascist. We do not judge, we do not discourse and we do not care what you do with your time, brain or body as long as it does not cause any non-consensual harm.

On that note, hello reader, we are the Coin. We call ourselves that as we are currently only two, which from what we can tell is unusual, so we are working under the assumption there may be others we are not aware of yet, based on observable statistics.

We are a "mixed origin system", or as we call it, no clue whatsoever where we come from and why, but as far as we are aware, have always both been here.

We are 24, transmasculine to varying degrees, Jewish, autistic, unemployed, crippled, absolute disasters in every sense, and that is to all intents and purposes where our similarities end.

We struggle with the words currently in use for the "host" or the "front" as we have found they don't describe our experience, we call whoever is piloting in that moment the "head" and the backseat driver becomes the "tail". Our switches, which, until recently, lasted years, were seismic, and almost ruined our shared life, we call "flips". We will be using this language when describing our own experience, although if you feel this fits for you, we would love if our framework helped somebody else.

We are a "median" system, so most of the time share one another's head memories and can feel one another's emotions, which makes trying to live separate lives, and have our own sense of self, complicated.

My other half will do it's own introduction post but since I have typed this post, I will tack mine on here.

Hi, I am Leo, I use he/him pronouns, I have been functioning as the Head since a hard flip 4 years ago. Before that, I was mostly the Tail for as long as I can remember, with some notable exceptions. This means I am, in many ways, newer to the 'being alive' schtick, and cannot seem to stop fucking up. We live with multitude chronic illnesses, I seem to process physical pain better than the other one, which we suspect to be the reason I find myself drawn to the front nowadays.

I am, I think, grey-ace/bisexual and biromantic, or hyper-romantic if such a thing is recognised, although based on the breadth of my existence being the voice in someone I detested's head, I haven't dated much to find out. I am a writer, I mostly write poetry but am trying to branch into more long-form fantasy so if that interests I may make my own blog for that.

I think that is everything, thank you for reading and have a lovely day!

-Leo

Hey loves, I am The Other One or, as I call myself, the big brother. My name is Tyler, yes that is a Fight Club joke, yes my little brother despises that decision, the more he hates it, the funnier I find it. You know how it is.

I could disagree with almost everything we have already written, for example I consider us a traumagenic system with dissociative amnesia, based on the way my 'mind' works and the memories I do, and notably do not, have. I also do not believe for a second we are alone in here, but I accept the current inability to turn around and face the headspace, for multiple reasons.

I am, currently, the tail of our coin, and have been most of the time for a few years now, so will, presumably, be posting here less, although we are currently working through some stuff, so I have been in the front more than usual.

I guess I'm aromantic, bi, transmasc but not in like, a 'Binary Trans Man' way like my brother, in a fruity, fabulous, fagdyke, femdom way.

I'll be tagging my posts with T and Leo will tag with an L, if anyone wishes to see our posting in isolation.

On that note, peace out and have a cracking day darlings x

-Tyler

#plural community #multiplicity #plurality #pluralgang #plural system #system positivity #plural pride #plural #pro endo #endogenic safe #median system #alter intro #system intro

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therealvinelle · 3 years

Note

What do you think the Cullens would do if some person they were talking to, out of nowhere just quite literally exploded in front of, and on them? Kinda like in that movie Spontaneous. Would they lose control and slurp up the mess on the ground, (and themselves) or would their bloodlust be curtailed by shock of wtf just happened?

I'd say something witty about how this is a strange anon to receive, but holy jesus you've sent me down a rabbithole.

Here's a trailer to the movie Spontaneous. It looks amazing. Kevin Feige wishes this had been his plot for Infinity War.

Here's a trailer for the movie Spontaneous Combustion, which I found by accident while searching for your fic. This looks amazing too. Can't believe Marvel didn't buy the rights to this guy.

I'm serious, people, you definitely want to watch these trailers. I just about died laughing.

So, on to your ask.

In the spirit of your ask, which implies a level of randomness, I thought the people blowing up should be random too. So, being in the mood to procrastinate through spending way too much time on tumblr things, I wrote a program that'll generate for me random Twilight characters.

Unsure whether the explosion should kill vampires or not, I generated an answer. The answer is yes, any generated vampire dies.

Without further ado:

Alice watches Vladimir blow up.

Alright, alright.

The first question to be answered here is why Alice is in Vladimir's presence in the first time. In canon they only meet once, at the end of Breaking Dawn.

For the sake of simplicity, we'll have Vladimir blow up then.

The Cullens and the witnesses are all celebrating being alive, when Vladimir suddenly explodes.

For the sake of the ask, Alice is sitting closest to him when this happens and making conversation.

Her first thought is utter shock. Not just that he blew up, but that she didn't see it coming (she wouldn't, because I randomly generated him. No decision was made). Her second thought is horror.

The Cullens just confronted the Volturi, now mere hours afterwards their allies are blowing up.

Holy fuck, Aro has a gifted ace up his sleeve, and he's using it to kill them remotely.

Panic ensues, not just for Alice, but among all the witnesses. Some of them refuse to leave, Bella has to shield those 24/7, though given the belief that her gift is psychic that doesn't make them feel very safe.

The others decide to go after the Volturi and beg for mercy, assuring them they never meant to challenge them.

Aro, of course, is very confused, but agrees. Why, yes, he does have a vampire who blows people up. Yes, yes he does.

Bella watches Aro blow up.

Oh I'm dying laughing at this one. And wishing I'd put this down for Carlisle, that would be even funnier, but alright.

Bella is walking about post-Breaking Dawn, minding her own business, when suddenly Aro appears in front of her. He looks around himself, utterly surprised by his sudden deplacement, and then blows up.

Bella has been living in terror of this man for years.

In Volterra he had his servant torture her and Edward and then made ominious threats, then a few months later the Eclipse disaster unfolded, finally we have Breaking Dawn where he showed up to murder her and everyone she loved.

Her shield may be powerful, but for as long as Aro was alive her family was never truly safe.

His untimely implosion changes all of that.

I imagine after a long moment of incredulity, Bella burns the rubble, just to be sure, then tells her family the joyous news.

Carlisle gives the guy a funeral. It's weird.

Carlisle watches Vassilii blow up.

Close call, due to my not switching out the names we almost had Angela. In which case Carlisle have stood there, covered in blood and in shock for several long seconds, before bringing out the bleach and gasoline for a crime scene clean.

As it is, Carlisle is minding his own business when suddenly an immortal child dressed like a medieval Eastern European appears before him. It says something in a foreign language that might mean "hi", he doesn't know but he says "hi" to it back, then the child blows up.

Carlisle stares at the rubble for a very long time, wondering if he is perhaps losing his mind. If, perhaps, Aro was right about animal blood being a slow suicide, and Carlisle has finally hit the limit for how long a vampire can go on without human blood.

He burns the rubble and prays for the child's soul, as an immortal child is doomed anyway, and keeps his silence about what happened. In part because there's a solid chance this was all in his imagination.

If Aro ever touches his hand again, and sees the immortal child that he burned a thousand years earlier resurrect, travel through time, all in order to blow up in front of Carlisle, he... well there comes a point where you say "nothing to see here" and refuse eye contact with the universe glitching.

Edward watches Randall blow up.

Randall, for the ignorants, is one of Carlisle's friends that came to witness for the Cullens in Breaking Dawn.

Suddenly he appears in front of Edward, says hi and how do you do, and then he blows up.

Edward tells Carlisle, who is saddened by this, and they try to piece the guy together. They fail.

Edward sends a somber thought to this noble man who agreed with Edward that the Cullens are awesome enough to be worth dying for.

Emmett watches Mary blow up.

Emmett will never admit it, but it's the coolest, raddest thing he's ever seen.

Esme watches Eleazar blow up.

Oh boy.

The Cullens are visiting the Denali. Irina has not been dead for long, but given the crystal clear memory of vampires, and the loss they already suffered (Sasha's death traumatized them) it doesn't really matter how long it's been, the Denali are devastated anyway.

The whole coven is as fragile as it can possibly get.

Then, Eleazar goes to join Esme in the kitchen, and explodes all over her and the kitchen.

The remaining Denali and the Cullens are called to the kitchen by the sound of Esme's screaming, and find her in hysterics, surrounded by gray rubble.

The Denali are near catatonic with grief at this point, while cooking has been ruined for Esme. One moment you're making food, the next people are exploding all over your kitchen.

Yeah.

Esme is not okay.

Jasper watches Nahuel blow up.

It's a shameful moment in his life.

But, hybrids are edible.

And that blood was splattered all over him.

Jasper has the worst control fail of his life, worse even than when he failed with Bella because this fail means he can't be around Renesmée anymore.

It's miserable all around.

The one highlight here is that it didn't happen when they were headed to the Volturi trial together.

Rosalie watches Emmett blow up.

Jesus christ, random Twilight character generator, just when I thought you were just going to give me boring results.

Not only does Rosalie lose the love of her life, the guy who kept her together, the one good thing she had going for her who made her life worth living, but he did so right in front of her, blowing up out of nowhere.

There's no explanation to be had, no culprit to be found, no reason for it. She had no goodbye, just as she can have no revenge.

She will never have closure.

Renesmée watches Renée blow up.

We go out on a high note, my god. Well done, generator, I'm laughing.

Renesmée is curious enough about her grandmother to go to Florida. She was going to watch from afar, but finds herself talking to the woman who raised her mother.

It's all going well until Renée suddenly explodes all over Renesmée.

Renesmée's first thought is nothing, she's in shock.

Then...

Well, she was controlled as an infant, so I don't think an adult Renesmée would lose it unless under extreme circumstances, like if she encountered a singer.

More, though, Renesmée might have any reasons of her own not to drink human blood, but she has been raised with this being a big no-no.

So she shouldn't.

However...

Is she ever going to get a better chance?

Ethically, she could easily argue this is the right choice. No one will be negatively affected by this, at least not directly.

The human is right there, already dead, and there's no body so while Renesmée does have to clean up the gore. Hell, if she laps up the blood on her clothes and the ground she will be cleaning up. Why waste perfectly good blood?

If Renesmée Cullen is ever going to have human blood, this is it.

It will come down to how much she respects her grandfather, and how important she believes Renée was to Bella.

Bonus, because I'm having way too much fun with this:

Bree watches Atheonodora blow up.

Bree is minding her own business when suddenly a vampire unlike any she has ever seen before, one with hazy eyes and odd skin, appears before her. They stare at each other. Then the woman blows up.

Bree takes this to mean that exploding is apparently something vampires just do sometimes, runs off in a panic and, sobbing, tells Riley.

Riley, having no idea what to make of any of this, tells her it was those evil yellow-eyes with their witchcraft and sorcery.

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princesstillyenna · 3 years

Note

So does this mean we’re getting a Carter ties Cale up and edges him fic?

Also, how does Mitchy’s daddy kink play into him being a sub, if at all?

Hey nonnie... you wanna know a secret??

I hate writing porn. I really... REALLY... hate writing porn. Every now and again the characters have sex on screen against my will and I have to write it, but honestly, it's like pulling teeth. My "normal" writing speed I can usually churn out 600ish words in a 15 minute sprint. My porn writing speed is easily HALF that. Because I am so shit at writing porn. Honestly. If anyone wants to GHOST WRITE some porn for me, that would be ace. Basically I would be like "it's these characters and these 5 things happen in this order" the end. Because I would LOVE fic of Carter tying Cale up and edging him until he cries. That would be AMAZING. But I don't think the writing muses will let me do it. (even though I really REALLY want to) because every time I write porn I make myself sad with how bad I am at writing porn... That being said if anyone wants to make it so the cale/carter tag on Ao3 has something in it that wasn't either written BY me, or written FOR me, that would be amazing... except I just asked for it... damnit. OK fine. I accept my title as Queen of Cale and Carter Love Secondly, Mitch and his Daddy Issues™. OBVIOUSLY he knows he's got Daddy issues... Mitch is hopefully gonna go on a journey of self discovery to learn how to process his issues through kink (NO not all kinks are caused by trauma, however, I have daddy issues AND a daddy kink so that is how I'm gonna write mitchy because it's easier for me... whatever.) But yeah, I'm looking forward to Johnny-boy guiding him through that... after he has like... a complete emotional breakdown about it first. OH ALSO, there is a seperate kink sub-chat (sub subchat LOL) which I nearly published one chapter, and then it deleted itself so I figured the boys weren't ready for you guys to see that yet? Hopefully they will let me show you soon (Side side note, I am well aware the characters aren't actually communicating with me in any way shape or form, I just find it funnier to talk about them like this. The fic deleted itself because I never save my work as I go...)

#group chat shit #tilly writes #tilly thinks

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iwach4n · 4 years

Text

Reminisce (Iwaizumi x fem!Reader)

This is incredibly self indulgent but by god i want to marry Iwa. I want to marry him so bad.

・・・・☆・・・・☆ ・・・・

warnings: mild swearing

word count: 1889

read time: 7 minutes

11:30am was not a particularly early time to wake up, but considering that you had returned to the hotel room at 3:00 after hours apon hours of drinking, dancing and chatting with friends and family, it was actually quite impressive. You looked and felt a mess, with sweat remaining from the shower you had been too tired to take, hair sticking out in every direction and remnants of makeup, sloppily removed in early hours of the morning, smudged around your face. And yet, Iwaizumi was still looking at you like you were the most amazing thing on Earth.

"What?" you laughed, shifting closer to him under the covers.

"Just looking at my beautiful wife," he responded, with an expression so lovestruck it made you giggle more.

"I'm never going to get used to that."

It was his turn to laugh, pulling you closer against his bare chest, "You better, Mrs Iwaizumi, because I'm going to keep saying it."

You smiled with an expression mirroring his own. In the five years you had been together, you never got tired of mornings like these. Waking up in his arms, taking in every detail of his face, memorising exactly how his body felt pressed against yours. And now you were married. There was nothing better in the world.

"What did I do to get so lucky?" he mused, making you shove him half-heartedly with a laugh.

"Save the compliments for when I don't look like shit."

His arms didn't relent, wrapping around you and pulling you ontop of him. A soft kiss was pressed to your lips.

"I'm not kidding. If someone had told me seven years ago that I'd get to marry you, I'd be overjoyed, and also never believe them," Iwa said, before catching himself on his words.

"Seven years ago? You mean like first year?" you asked, a hint of amusement in your voice as you rested your chin on his chest. He groaned a little in embarrassment.

"Okay, so I may have lied when I said I started liking you at the start of third year."

You couldn't help but start laughing for real now.

"We didn't even talk in first year!"

"I know, but I was sixteen! What was I supposed to do, not fall for the cute girl who helped me with my English homework?" he defended as you rolled off him in your laughter, finding his reaction funnier than the actual situation.

"You're so adorable," you said, pecking him on the lips and giggling at his red face.

"Asking you for help with that English was probably the best decision of my life." His hand found its way to yours under the covers, calloused fingers intertwining with your soft ones.

"I can't believe that's actually what got you," your laughs were softer now. At the start of your relationship, you had been a little insecure as to whether Hajime liked you as much as he said he did, but you'd grown past that now. Though you sometimes wondered quite what he saw in you, you knew he wasn't lying about anything.

"You were pretty and nice to me and you told Oikawa to fuck off. At the time, that was like, my dream woman."

A snort escaped from your mouth as you nestled into the crook of his arm, tracing patterns along his chest.

"I think the moment I really fell for you was when I first saw you play in a match," you mused, remembering being dragged to watch with your friends in second year and not regretting it one bit. Your husband gave a small hum of encouragement, as if telling you to continue, so you did.

"I mean, I thought you were hot and cool and whatever before, but on court, you were just so... driven. You kept pushing for one more point," you said, eyes glued to your finger as it wove its way through invisible paths along his torso, "it was like a whole new side of you."

As you spoke, he had buried his face in your hair, and you felt him smile against your scalp.

"Honestly, that's the only way you would've fallen for me. I'd have been much more awkward if I'd known you were watching."

"Looking back, you were so awkward," you recalled, thinking back to your highschool days, "but at the time, I just thought you hated me or something."

"For real?" It was his turn to rumble in laughter.

"You were always avoiding me!" you said in defence, pouting at his growing laughs.

"I'm sorry for making you think that," he said, unable to keep the grin off his face, "you were so ridiculously pretty that I got nervous. And it's only gotten better from there."

"Someone's sappy today," you giggled as he rolled over, hovering over you. He only hummed in response, planting a sweet kiss on your lips, "but seeing as we're remembering the old times, remember when you first asked me out?"

These words were enough to make him groan and collapse off of you, arm going up to cover his reddening face.

"I wish I didn't. Most embarrassing moment of my life."

"I think I need to refresh your memory," you managed through giggles.

"No!" he groaned, "you do not."

"Oh, I'm going to."

Hajime always got embarrassed when you brought up how he asked you out on your first date because it was a prime example of how awkward he'd been at the start of your relationship. You still remembered it vividly, and his reaction to you telling the story was almost as cute as the image in your head, so you would remind him every chance you got.

"Can we talk about the proposal instead? I was a lot cooler with that one."

You ignored his pleas, beginning your narration, "Imagine it-"

"You told this like fifty times yesterday. Stop," he was laughing too, despite being bashful.

"This isn't just what I told yesterday. This is the unabridged version, just for you," you said, and he finally gave up on arguing with a sigh, "imagine it; the last week of third year, and it was coming to the end of a maths lesson - a class I didn't share with the hero of our story. In my head, I was thinking about the lovely ace, who is currently looking at me like if someone was to shoot him, he wouldn't complain, but that his dying wish would be for me to shut up. I was wondering if I should make a move on him."

Iwaizumi's face turns from one of annoyance to curiosity - he hasn't heard this part of the story. You'd never really told him what went through your head that day. Noticing his change of expression, you decided to expand on that train of thought.

"You see, there was only a week left. After that, I might not get the chance. I might never see him again - at least, this is what I thought, as I didn't know that we were both going to the same university the next year. Part of me thought that it was now or never, but I decided on never. He was cool and popular and always seemed confident. If he liked me, I thought, he would make a move himself. This thought crossed my mind as I began to pack my things, and then, as if on cue-"

Iwaizumi's arm returned to covering his face. This was his least favourite part of the story.

"My knight in shining armour burst in, having been let out of his class early, and shouted, in front of the whole class, '(Y/N), I really like you, and have for a while! Please go on a date with me!'"

Your husband let out a long groan at this, the embarrassment still fresh despite it having been five years. Usually, this is where you stopped. It was pretty much the end of the story. But you continued.

"Naturally, I agreed. But, as if things weren't already awkward enough, our good old friend Oikawa decided to pipe up from behind you-"

"Oh my god," Hajime interrupted momentarily, "I forgot about this bit."

"And the somewhat sweet confession was finished off with the lovely note of 'Woo! They're finally gonna bone!'. The end."

It appeared the little addition shook Iwa out of the annoyed mood the story usually put him in, because he uncovered his face and laughed reminiscently.

"We both got detention for that," he chuckled, pulling you back into his chest.

"Was it worth it?" you asked, knowing the answer but wanting to hear it anyway.

"Take a look around. We're married. Of course it was worth it," what was probably the hundreth kiss of the day was placed on your forehead, "I'd sit through a million detentions to keep you with me."

"Good thing you don't have to. I don't think I'd be able to go a million hours without you," you said, beginning to fiddle with his hair, "can I try and plait your hair?"

"No," was the short answer, "we're gonna talk about that first date I asked you on."

"Why?" you asked, cocking your head as your fingers left his hair. The date had been nice, but other than the fact it was your first with your now husband, there had been nothing particularly special about it.

"Don't think I've forgotten about when you tried to say you were hungry and instead said horny, and were so shocked by the fact that your mouth did that that you spilt your drink all over both of us."

"Oh my god, even I forgot about that."

"I'm gonna give you a dramatic narration."

"No!"

The rest of the morning and early afternoon was taken up like this - reminiscing about notable moments in your relationship. Everything from your first kiss, which had turned an uneventful 'date' of running errands together into a special one, to your first 'I love you's, which had slipped out on a late night call. Each of you gave vivid retellings of meeting the other's parents for the first time, which had gone swimmingly for Hajime, but had been incredibly awkward for you until his father made some comment about thinking his son was gay until then because of the amount of time he spent with Oikawa. That really broke the ice between you, but it put Iwaizumi into an adorably disagreeable mood for the rest of the night. Iwa finally got to talk about the proposal, which you had to admit had been very romantic, and then you talked about the wedding the night before.

Eventually, you moved on from the past and talked about the future. Where to go for your honeymoon, where you'd like to settle down one day, how many kids you'd like and when. You decided you'd move to the outskirts of Tokyo, and start a family in your late twenties. You settled on two kids, but maybe a third a little later on. And then, when you retired, you'd move to the Okinawa prefecture and live by the beach. By the time you got hungry enough to need to get up, you felt like your entire life was planned.

You couldn't wait to make it real and have more things to reminisce about.

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aw-eather · 4 years

Text

Heather Watches SG1 s7ep13: Grace

Hello friends! I asked on twitter which one you wanted to see next and this was the one so.. I genuinely really enjoy this episode but I don’t think it would be top five? The Kiss TM obviously is up there but its so... sad.. BUT I think its a beautifully shot episode and the director is wonderful. Also if I ever meet Damien Kindler, I have a list of questions.

I watched this a few weeks ago but am posting it today (11/085/2020) because I forgot I had even typed the notes until the other night when i asked.

As always, I swear quite a bit but I also cried quite a lot in this episode becuse well I’m a hopeless romantic, I love Space Dad and I had just been dumped so all the angst hurts haha

also also, I leave most if not all my typos in here because I think it makes it funnier and I don’t usually look at my keyboard when I type so I make mistakes. I’m not perfect at touch typing by any standard and I still don’t do it properly anyway.

Previously on which I don’t need because I’ve seen this show soooo many times

Fucking Ronson man

Mum says she’s prepared but she’s not

Thers a storm coming and she doesn’t know how bad its gonna be

Two hours top turns into 4 days,

HER FUCKING GRIN OH MY GOD

Remember your mission, bitch this is Samantha Carter, she forgets nothing and always stick to the mission plan (see The First Commandment, etc. etc.)

Uh oh

Not a ship on its way

I wonder who or what is on it. Well we never find out so no point asking

CREDITS

I am trying to eat and type at the same time this will not go well

END CREDITS

Love that black curtain with tiny lights they’re using for stars

Cute ship, foe

Of course you wanna talk to them, Ronson but I don’t think its gonna go well babe

Powering up weapons but you won’t get awwwwaaaaayyyyy

Straight into the unknown not-quite-nebula

SAM NO

WHAT A BAD FUCKING IDEA

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

DAMIAN KINDLER

And BAM baby hit her head

Silence

More silence

Fucking creepy kid

But if you wanna feel old she’s married and has a kid on the way

You are alone my love

Poor Sam

Of course you do hun cause you’re a good solider

The didn’t leave you alone honey, they were beamed out

Cuts gone

Just saying

Poor Sam

She’s all alone and nothings working and I just wanna hug her

Teal’c being a sweetie

Being the voice of reason

Stopping her from dying

“If you sleep, you will die” *Sam falls asleep*

FUCKING KID GIVING ME THE CREEPS

Sam: Is someone there?

Me: IDK Are they?

Cuts back

Smart girl <3

We don’t wanna play with you, you scare us

Cuts gone

“Were you this annoying when you were ascended?”

“Depends who you ask”

The answer is yes, Sam

He is always that annoying

Her subconscious brain is trying to provide her people to bounce her ideas off of

This is the part of her that wants to explore the cloud, the scientist that battles with the military side of her

Beautiful shot of him standing behind her

Uh oh the ships making noises

Peter Woste (director) makes some really beautiful shots

Ooooh

This hurts

Daniel has no idea how lost Jack is

Of course he heard, ya bloody dick head

Jack is so worried about his girl

“Tok’ra can’t send a ship” no they ever can

What is the point of an alliance if only one side ever does anything?

Is this the first time Daniel is realising Jack’s feelings for Sam?

Because he seems shocked at Jack’s anger/frustration

THIS FUCKING KID

TEAL’C

He calls her Samantha which he NEVER calls her its…. An interesting choice

He’s right, everything is not as it seems

Sam thinking of other ideas that she would normally bounce off her boys so she’s bouncing it off… subconscious images of her boys

And she passed out again

Poor babe :(

Awwww I wanna hug her and protect her

Honestly I think this way would have worked if it weren’t for that FUCKING KID

She’s not real Sam!

Who is this kid anyway?

Alien? Gas cloud?

Her face at the idea of it being a sentient cloud

“Because its corrosive?” LOL

And shes out again

Did she?? Interesting

Yeah but actually talking would have helped kid

Ooooooh no

Dad’s about to be here

I’m Grace… https://youtu.be/688OPQ9WFpA

Hold on while I cry

HES NOT TALKING ABOUT JACK SAMANTHA

HE WANTS YOU TO BE WITH JACK YA BLOODY GOOSE

DON’T BE AN IDIOT

Oh an initial trace huh?

Useless fucking shits

They all know he loves her

Its written on their faces

And he’s been doing such a good job of holding it in, damnit

That little look down

A brother to Teal’c awww

JACK HE JUST TOLD YOU SAM STILL LOVES YOU

AND YOU LET HER GET ENGAGED TO PETE IM A CREEP SHANAHAN

WHY YOU DO THE THING AT THE END OF THE EPISODE

Oh NO NOT THE BUBBLES

Baby Sam wondering how a bubble can exist

Adorable

I’m gonna cry again

Interesting that jack is in street clothes not uniform

Because this is how she pictures him

Samantha

I’m crying at this conversation

I could write out everything they say And what it all means because it all HURTS but we all know it off by heart I’m too lazy to rehash it here

I HAD TO HOLD IN A SCREAM

THE KISS AND LETTING HIM GO (she never really did tho let’s not kid ourselves) AND OH MY GOD IT HURTS

THIS FUCKING KID

Bubbles

Dead ass tho i nearly threw something during Sam and Jacks scene

And whats worse is when she’s back, he would have sat there the entire time until she woke up

And the fear of anybody else hearing her call him Jack

And making an assumption that they’re together and therefore ruining her career

Makes him shut her down and then she really knows that she has to move on

Because she doesn’t know how scared he was when she was missing

And that he was just as scared as she was when he was gone

But she’ll never know that

Because he’ll never tell her

I’m crying again

The way he looks at her

And says shes fine and says you are

And her sad look

I fucking can’t handle it y’all

I just want them both to be happy and with each other but they’re too emotionally inept to say anything to each other so this is what we have to deal with

And now I have to deal with PETE

FUCKING PETE

Final Thoughts:

I literally cried three times in that episode. Normally its once with Jacob’s scene but this time it was every time Jack was there too. I think my recent breakup is making me soft and all I can handle right now is fluff. Anything else hurts.

I love that episode with my entire being but fuck me does it hurt

Also who or what is Grace? I have SO many questions.

Its a beautifully shot episode though

And Amanda’s acting is ace. So is RDAs.

BUT FUCK MGM FOR NEVER LETTING US HAVE CONFIRMATION OUTSIDE OF ONE PICTURE AND A PASSWORD

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beevean · 5 years

Text

In order to learn more Japanese this year, I decided to play Ace Attorney... for GBA.

Last year I tested my Spanish skills with a book - this year I’m upping up the game! I finally felt confident enough to try this challenge, and so far I think it was a good idea! On my own I understand a good chunk of what I’m reading (but it depends on the character speaking - so far everyone has spoken in ordinary Japanese and in short sentences, but I’m afraid to meet Edgeworth and von Karma lol), but since I memorized the English translation I feel like I can understand pretty much everything.

Here are the words I looked up in the first case alone:

感心する　（かんしん）　to congratulate, to be impressed

逮捕する　（たいほ）　to arrest

一体　（いったい）　“who/what/why in the world”

殺害する　（さつがい）　to kill, to murder

至って　（いたって）　very, extremely

巻き込む　（まちこむ）　to involve, to drag in

中断する　（ちゅうだん）　to interrupt

章　（しょう）　chapter

確か　（たしか）　“if I’m not mistaken”

確かめる　（たしかめる）　to make sure

真っ白　（まっしろ）　pure white/blank (as in, “blank sheet”/”my mind is a blank”)

被害者　（ひがいしゃ）　victim

調書　（ちょうしょ）　 protocol, written evidence, record

事件　（じけん）　event, affair

記録　（きろん）　record, document

訴訟記録　（そしょうきろく）　court record

死因　（しいん）　cause of death

毒　（どく）　poison

鈍器　（どんき）　blunt weapon

殴る　（なぐる）　to strike, to hit

大分　（だいぶ）　considerably

具体的　（ぐたいてき）　concrete

証拠品　（しょうこひん）　piece of evidence

受理する　（じゅり）　to accept

象る　（かたどる）　to model on

提出する　（ていしゅつ）　to present (documents)

武器　（ぶき）　weapon

依頼人　（いらいにん）　client

情報　（じょうほう）　information

聞き逃す　（ききのがす）　to fail to hear something

反撃　（はんげき）　counterattack

余計　（よけい）　too much, unnecessary

振られる　（ふられる）　to be rejected, to be dumped

世紀　（せいき）　century

世間　（せけん）　society, people

状況　（じょうきょう）　situation

実際　（じっさい）　practically

日付　（ひづけ）　date

収入　（しゅうにゅう）　income

小遣い　（こづかい）　pocket money

援助する　（えんじょ）　to assist

口走る　（くちばしる）　to blurt out

関係する　（かんけい）　to be related

動機　（どうき）　motive

移る　（うつる）　 to change the target of interest or concern

合図　（あいず）　signal

決定的（けっていてき）　decisive, conclusive

発見する　（はっけん）　to discover

証言　（しょうげん）　testimony

殺人現場　（さつじんげんば）　murder scene

覗く　（のぞく）　to peek

腰が抜ける　（こしがぬける）　to be unable to stand, to be paralyzed with fear

はっきり　 clearly, plainly

機種　（きしゅ）　type of equipment, model

尋問　（じんもん）　cross-examination

いよいよ　more and more, at last

本番　（ほんばん）　performance

暴く　（あばく）　 to disclose, to divulge, to expose

カギに握る　（かぎににぎる）　to hold the key (idiom. expression)

食い違い　（くいちがい）　discrepancy

すなわち　that is,

矛盾　（むじゅん）　contradiction

部分　（ぶぶん）　portion, section

突き付ける　（つきつける）　to thrust at

揺さぶる　（ゆさぶる）　to shake, to jolt

解剖記録（かいぼうきろく）　autopsy report

明らか　（あきらか）　clear, obvious

些細　（ささい）　trivial

単なる　（たんなる）　mere, simple, just

見事　（みごと）　splendid, excellent

指摘する　（してき）　to point out

生み出す　（うみだす）　to create, to produce

追い詰める　（おいつめる）　to corner, to back into a corner

時報　（じほう）　announcement of time

ずれる　to be out of sync

思い込む　（おもいこむ）　to be convinced that

バッチリ　perfectly, enough

にしろ　though, even if, whether... or...

訳がない　（わけがない）　there’s no way that

妙に　（みょうに）　strangely

クネクネ　 wriggling, swaying

置き時計　（おきどけい）　 clock to be placed on tables

おそらく　perhaps, I dare say

置物　（おきもの）　ornament

瞬間　（しゅんかん）　moment

強烈　（きょうれつ）　strong, intense

細かい　（こまかい）　small, trivial

ぐちぐち　muttering, complaining

主張　（しゅちょう）　claim, assertion

欠片　（かけら）　fragment, shred, ounce

言い逃れる　（いいのがれる）　to talk one's way out of

見逃す　（みのがす）　to miss, to overlook

わざわざ　to go all the way to do something

連中　（れんちゅう）　company, bunch

今更　（いまさら）　now (after such a long time)

発想　（はっそう）　idea, way of thinking

理由　（りゆう）　reason, motive

示す　（しめす）　to show, to demostrate, to point out

時差　（じさ）　time difference

一変する　（いっぺん）　to change completely

先ほど　（さきほど）　a moment ago

救い出す　（すくいだす）　to rescue, to free

探し出す　（さがしだす）　 to track down, to locate, to find out

形式　（けいしき）　formality

判決　（はんけつ）　judgement

言い渡す　（いいわたす）　to announce, to sentence

閉廷する　（へいてい）　to adjourn a court

空き巣　（あきす）　empty house

常習犯　（じょうしゅうはん）　habitual criminal

留守　（るす）　absence, being away from home

狙う　（ねらう）　to aim at, to be after something

立ち去る　（たちさる）　to leave

侵入　（しんにゅう）　invasion, intrusion, trespass

物色する　（ぶっしょく）　rummaging, scouring

逆上する　（ぎゃくじょう）　to go into a frenzy

無事に　（ぶじに）　safely, without problems

スカッとする　to feel relieved

ニコニコする　smiling in a friendly way

記念　（きねん）　commemoration, celebration

慰める　（なぐさめる）　to comfort, to amuse

分からず屋　（わからずや）　blockhead

手製　（てせい）　handmade

次第　（しだい）　depending on

角度　（かくど）　angle

パーッと　 with energy, enthusiastically

ある意味　（あるいみ）　in a sense

幕を閉じる　（まくをとじる）　to come to an end, to close the curtain

連呼する　（れんこ）　to call repeatedly

依頼料　（いらいりょう）　retaining fee

再び　（ふたたび）　once again

引き起こす　（ひきおこす）　to cause

永久に　（えいきゅう）　eternally

Some other general notes:

1) the equivalent of the press button is 揺さぶる - apparently in Japanese you don’t “press” the witness, you “shake” them, which I find hilarious: it gives me the image of Phoenix shaking by the shoulders an uncooperative witness to knock some sense into them

2) the equivalent of “when something smells, it’s usually the Butz” is “事件の陰に、やっぱり矢張”, roughly “behind an accident, of course there’s Yahari”, the joke being that both 矢張り and やっぱり mean “I knew it”/”of course”. Mia also mistakenly calls Larry やっぱり, which I have to say is far more flattering than being called “Harry Butz” :p

(funnily enough, this explains a very weird translation of the name of Larry’s theme in T&T that has been bothering me for years: sometimes it’s called “In the Shadows of the Incident”, which makes no sense and is even a little ominous, but now I realize it’s just a direct translation of “事件の陰に”)

3) Larry doesn’t compare himself and Cindy to Romeo and Juliet and Cleopatra and Mark Anthony (prompting Phoenix to think they’re all dead lovers), he just says they are (not even “were”, lol) the best couple of the century. Good for the English translation for adding a funnier joke

4) Similarly, once Sahwit is finally caught, there’s no equivalent of the awful “Mr. Did-It” pun, for better or for worse

5) When Sahwit gets his wig snatched [cit.], he says “Shut up! You’re complaining about trivial things!”, which sounds maybe even sillier than simply “I hate you” - dude i lost the count of how many times you shot yourself in the foot, what’s trivial is your ability to lie :P

6) Sahwit also switches from 私 and a keigo language full of ございます to オレ and your typical “rude anime guy” accent, something that I think the English version couldn’t convey quite as well

#ace attorney #gyakuten saiban #逆転裁判 #japanese #単語 #beev plays gyakuten saiban #so far the translation seems to be 99% faithful #which is helping me a lot #admittedly i looked up many words #even a few that maybe i should have known #but i just wanted to make sure

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kamidesai · 4 years

Text

Discord thread featuring: Kam & @timmyteehill

Mentions: -

When: June 24th ‘20 before Tee and Kam were official

Where: Tee’s apartment

Triggers: -

Description: Kam comes over to cook for Tee

Kami

Kami did at least shower before deciding to take the bus into the northern part of town. It was always so interesting, watching the slummier parts of town turn into more grand, upscale buildings, and shops. There weren’t even any bus stops by the residential area, so once he was let off at the last stop, Kam dropped his skateboard, and took off towards Tee’s place. He was kinda sweaty when he finally got there, but he was wearing a black mesh tank with shirts, so he managed to shiver when the door opened, and he was hit with the AC. “Heyyy...” he muttered while pulling off his sunglasses. “Sorry it took me a while off the bus.”

Tee

Tee was secretly glad that his roommate/ex was still in France as otherwise it would have probably been a little awkward to explain Kami to him. He tried to clean up the place a little even though he knew the other probably wouldn’t even notice. He was quick to go open the door once there was a knock at his door. “That’s okay. You should have called though, I would have picked you up from the bus stop.” Tee usually used his car to get anywhere but he knew the bus stops in the residential area weren’t very frequent and he knew he should have known Kami would have a way to go to get to him.

Kami

“It’s cool.” Kami just shook his head, looking around as he entered the place, and gawked around him. Of course it was way nicer than his tiny ass apartment. He placed his skateboard right by the door, and then proceeded to take off his shoes to be polite and shit. He could have manners!! “Hey. Have you eaten? I can cook.” Kam had no idea what was even in Tee’s kitchen, but there had to be something he could throw together, right?

Tee

Tee had to bite back a smile at how polite Kami was being. He knew this place wasn’t really anything like the tiny place they used to share when he was still in college and determined not to use his parents’ money. Things were different now that he had his own business and income was more forthcoming. “No, I haven’t actually.” Tee wasn’t sure there was actually anything the other could use in his kitchen since he tended to live on precooked meals and takeaway but hopefully he would be able to find something to work with. “Um...I have pasta and...a can of sauce?” he said, trying not to feel too embarrassed. “Sorry, you know I’ve never been much of a cook. That hasn’t really changed.”June 29, 2020

Kami

Kam snorted when Tee said he had pasta and a can of sauce, because that just...poor guy. Thank god Kam loved to cook. He’d be so miserable if he had to live off canned sauce. “I can do something with it. Do you have any spices, herbs?” He asked while brushing past the man, not even waiting for his answer before he was snooping through his cabinets. “Wish you would have let me teach you how to fuckin’ cook.” He laughed, and found said lone pasta, and can of sauce.

Tee

So many people had tried to teach him to cook in his life and it just never stuck. His parents tried, when he was a kid, but the cooking “lessons” somehow always turned into an argument between him and his brother until they gave up. He and Monroe also talked about cooking lessons at some point, for him to learn how to make donuts but that also never happened. Tee was always so busy with work that he figured cooking was time wasted when he could just order takeaway. Although even he could admit it was pretty bad that he had no idea if he even had spices and herbs in the cabinet. “What can I say? Living off of take away and packaged meals isn’t that bad”, he shrugged. “Spares me a lot of time as well.”

Kami

“Ugh. That hurts my soul, Timothy. My. Soul.” He said dramatically, his hand on his chest as he looked the other male over. Kam shook his head, and then went back to what he was doing. He found a pot, and got the spaghetti noodles in generously salted water, and then began getting everything he needed to doctor up the sauce. “Let me get some home cooked food in you. You’ll realize the error of your ways!” It really was worth the effort to consume food you actually enjoy. It was simply a gift to yourself.

Tee

Tee rolled his eyes but he had to admit that it felt good to have someone cooking for him once and to have some company. He and Loren might share the apartment but they actually didn’t get to see each other very much, both busy with their own things. So this was nice. “Realising the error of my ways doesn’t mean I’ll magically be able to cook, you know”, he teased. “Maybe I’ll just have to start calling you to cook for me every time I get hungry.”June 30, 2020

Kami

Kami busted out a laugh when Tee made his statement about this not meaning he would magically be able to cook. That was funny, damn. “You got funnier over the years.” He teased the man, dumping the famous can of sauce into a pan he’d found in the cabinet while the noodles were on to boil. “No, you need to learn young Tee. We all have room to learn something new.” He informed him, feeling the need to give his own advice to the therapist for once.

Tee

“Are you saying I wasn’t funny before? Now that’s just hurtful”, he shook his head. Tee watched the other work his magic, trying to make some mental notes over what he was doing. It didn’t look too hard but Tee also wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up burning the kitchen if he even tried it himself. “Well, would you look at that. I got funnier over the years and you got wiser. Who would have thought?”

Kami

It was funny, how opposite he and Tee were from eachother, and yet sonehow they just seemed to...work. Kam loved the way they balanced eachother out, the chemistry was addicting. Not that he would say that outloud. He didn’t even pretend to be offended when Tee made his own joke, instead he just nodded with a laugh as he began getting some garlic, and onion powder into the sauce, along with oregano, and sea salt, before taking a taste. “You’re right. It’s mind blowing. Taste this.” He held the spoon out to his ex boyfriend, wanting his opinion on the matter.

Tee

Tee tasted the sauce being held out to him on the spoon and his eyes widened because that was just delicious. “Holy shit, that’s really good!” It was hard to believe that could be made with a can of sauce and some herbs. He couldn’t help but think that this was all so domestic. Cooking together (okay Tee was just observing but that’s besides the point), getting to compliment Kam on a dish well cooked...he really needed to remind himself that they were not the same as they were years ago before he ended up doing something stupid.

Kami

“Of course it is. And easy, too.” He reminded the other, giving him a wink while he finished up what he wanted to do with the sauce. It was thick, but on purpose, because he had a certain way he liked to bring everything together in the end. “Now, here’s a trick.” He held up one finger to the smaller. And then grabbed some tongs to grab the pasta from the boiling water, letting most of the water drip off before he was twisting it down into the sauce to cook together. “Little bit of that pasta water really brings the sauce together.”

Tee

Tee raised his eyebrows as he was promised a trick. In reality he knew that the chances of him actually cooking anything in the future for just himself were slim but he was at least going to try and learn something. It was sometimes embarrassing to say that he had a degree and a masters but couldn’t cook much more than a fried egg. And cereal. But did adding milk to cereal even count as cooking? Probably not. Tee watches as his ex combined the pasta with the sauce and it was true that the pasta water was making the sauce look better. Or at least, that’s what it looked like to his untrained eye.July 5, 2020

Kami

Kam turned to look at Tee once everything started cooking together, a small smirk on his lips as his eyes moved over the other’s features. Tee was so...beautiful. Those eyes...those lips. There were so many things that Kam enjoyed about the man’s face, the thoughts alone would take too long. He almost hated how strongly he felt about it, mostly because he just...sometimes he missed him is all. “Taking mental notes? Cause I expect you to recreate this from scratch.” He teased his ex, smirking in jest shortly after as he began plating their food.

Tee

“Are you sure you’re willing to risk food poisoning just so I can test this?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. Considering he once almost managed to burn a pot of water, he couldn’t see how any attempts of cooking he made could be that successful. But if his ex was willing to try and risk it all, Tee wasn’t going to argue with him. He got out cutlery and tried to set the table to the best of his abilities, watching as Kam set their plates down. “Do I get to judge the food on a scale of one to ten or do I say it’s good no matter what it tastes like?” As if he hadn’t tried the sauce already and loved it.July 7, 2020

Kami

Kam laughed when Tee made his little joke about food poisoning, and again when his ex asked about the food rating system. “If you must judge, then I won’t stop you. If it’s anything less than a nine though, you’re wrong.” He informed Tee while pointing at him with his large slatted spoon before he was serving them each a plate. “Sit, eat. I’ll get the drinks. Do you have wine, mayhaps? A nice red is perfect with pasta, don’t you agree??”

Tee

"I guess I'll keep my judgement to myself if it's anything less than a nine", he shrugged, even though he knew it probably wouldn't be the case. If the food tasted as good as it smelled then he was in for a treat. "That sounds like a great idea. There should be some on the counter over there. Not sure if it's going to be up to your very high-class tastes but red wine is still...wine." That made no sense but whatever. Tee picked up his fork and took a bite of the pasta making a low moaning sound while chewing. "Yep, this is definitely not less than a nine."July 10, 2020

Kami

Kam wasn’t surprised when Tee seemed to enjoy the sauce, because despite there not being many things in life that Kam was confident about, cooking was one of them. It was a natural gift that he’d had from such a young age, and he could honestly do it with his eyes closed. “Glad you like it.” He glanced over at the wine in question soon after taking a few bites of his own food, and fixed them both a glass. “It’s hilarious that you think I have high class taste.” He snickered, walling back over to sit their wine in front of them on the table.July 11, 2020

Tee

Tee took the glass from Kam and had a quick sip of the wine. “Well, things change so can you blame me for worrying about your tastes changing too?” he shrugged. As he kept eating, he couldn’t help but want to bring up a subject that he worried might make the other uncomfortable but...they came up with a safe word just for that after all. “You should really consider...getting back to doing this professionally? Cooking, I mean.”

Kami

Kami was having such a good time honestly, even with their playful banter as normal. It didn’t bother Kam that Tee had such a sharp tongue, that he was constantly trying to get under his skin. It was a part of his personality, and one he usually had a particular version of for the people he liked. Of course though, he had to go into advice mode, now, as if it was really the right time. Kam didn’t want to talk about begging back into cooking, he wanted to eat, and then smoke a bowl. Apparently that was too much to ask. “I don’t have the experience to do what it takes to be a head chef somewhere decent. It would take years of sous cheffing, and kitchen cleaning. I hate that shit, and I’ve already gotten so far with my tattooing. I dunno. Maybe someday. It has always been my dream to go to culinary school. I’ve been saving for years.”

Tee

Tee wasn’t going to pressure him, after all he didn’t know much about the workings of becoming a chef and Kami clearly knew what he was talking about. It was just a pity to him because he knew how much the other enjoys cooking. But he was also a great tattoo artist. “You have gotten very far with tattooing. I remember it like it was yesterday when you were begging to do a tattoo for me until I caved in. Turned out pretty good”, he smiled, running a thumb over the little alien face above his elbow.July 12, 2020

Kami

Kam laughed when Tee commented about the tattoo he’d been given, Kami wrinkling his nose because he would never not be a perfectionist about that. It wasn’t bad for his first, but he could do so much better. “Yeah...I wish you’d let me cover that up with something better.” He mumbled before getting back into his pasta.July 17, 2020

Tee

Tee bent his arm to get a better look at the small tattoo on his elbow and looked up at Kami with furrowed eyebrows. "Why do you want me to cover it up? It looks really good, just what I had in mind when I talked to you about it. And besides, it reminds me of happy memories so I think I'm going to stick to my little alien face", he shrugged. "I was maybe thinking of getting another one though."July 18, 2020

Kami

Kam smirked when Tee refused to get the tattoo covered up, because even if he was iffy on it, it meant a lot that Tee still loved it so much, and don’t want to get rid of it. It was also adorable that they both had alien themed tattoos. Kami himself felt like an alien half the time, so. “What’re your thinkin’ of gettin’?” He asked the man before eating some pasta.July 20, 2020

Tee

Tee had gotten the tattoo a few months after his parents passed away. He'd been thinking of getting one for a while and with a boyfriend practising with tattoos, it made sense to let him do it. It was a time where his relationship with his brother was at its worse. He could never understand why his brother was so adamant on blaming him for his parents' accident and Tee was feeling low enough to believe him. The cruel words from someone who was supposed to be family never failed to hurt him and he was feeling more of an outsider than ever. Maybe that's where the idea to get an alien tattoo came from. He and his brother stopped talking shortly after he got his tattoo but it never lost its meaning. "So this is going to sound stupid but hear me out, okay? Since I have a tattoo under one elbow I was thinking of getting another tattoo under the other elbow. So they're sort of matching, you know what I mean?"July 26, 2020

Kami

Kami looked at Tee like he was weird when he said his idea sounded crazy, because he didn’t see how that sounded crazy at all. It was a good idea, and of course he didn’t mind a bit to do it. “I think that sounds like a great idea. Makes sense. A lot of people want to keep their tattoos with some sort of flow, or mirrored way of placement. We can definitely do that. It’d look sick.” He assured the other male with a smirk, and then he suddenly remembered what they were here for. “You done eating? I can’t roll us a joint.”

Tee

Chances were that Tee would have done it even if Kam said it wasn’t a good idea because once he got something in his head, it was difficult to get him to change his mind. It was still nice to get validation though. “Great! I’ll text you at some point so you can see when you have a free slot and I’ll come over to get it done. I just need to figure out what I’m going to get.” Tee took the last bite of pasta then pushed his plate away. “Yeah, I’m done. You do that while I clean up”, he said, already picking up the plates and cutlery and taking them to the sink.

#discord #INTERACTION : tee.

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geejaysmith · 5 years

Photo

Kat and I have amazing conversations sometimes and I felt they had to be shared. Also, alienfuckers, dad jokes, Maxwell’s alternative lifestyle and other headcanons, and Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition. Full transcript under the cut.

Gill [Yesterday at 6:05 PM]: On an Unrelated topic: after the finale the crew remembers "OH YEAH, EIFFEL ACTUALLY HAD A FACE-TO-FACE CONVERSATION WITH ALIENS" and now in addition to all the other reasons to want him to Remember they're really freakin' curious to know how that went

Kat [Yesterday at 6:11 PM]: Minkowski: so what did they look like Eiffel: me (They do seem to like his body, they had a few models to choose from when talking to Cutter.)

Gill [Yesterday at 6:13 PM]: Eiffel, probably: at least the aliens think I'm cool I know what was meant by that but your phrasing made me think "In a shocking turn of events, it is the aliens who are attracted to the human." The aliens... are alienfuckers

Kat [Yesterday at 6:17 PM]: I don't think that's their jam but that WOULD be just his luck

Gill [Yesterday at 6:18 PM]: It is unlikely, but also: it would be hilarious

Kat [Yesterday at 6:21 PM]: the aliens keep sending me mental sexts and i crave death

Gill [Yesterday at 6:22 PM]: And lo another shitpost transforms into a fanfic concept, like a humble irradiated lizard becoming Godzilla: "would you fuck your clone?"

Kat [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: leave him alone has the man not suffered enough

Gill [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: No

Kat [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: sigh

Gill [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: Dance for my amusement, Douglas And also because I earnestly suspect that in the case of Eiffel and an interested alien-consciousness-in-the-form-of-a-Xerox-copy-of-him the answer would end up being "yes"

Kat [Yesterday at 6:34 PM]: idk i feel like it'd be more like "Oh what you spend two fucking years trying to drag us into the star because you can't be assed to make an appearance but you'll teleport across the galaxy for a booty call? Fuck you and I mean that figuratively" later sluts

Gill [Yesterday at 6:36 PM]: Bob is a bad datemate Is this entire train of thought brought on by the fact I still think of the person who expressed they shipped Bob/Eiffel in the tags of the "Take your double to Disneyland" post? Perhaps

Kat [Yesterday at 6:39 PM]: i don't know that you can have this at the same time as 'what if the aliens' bodies are still the people suppressed' without it getting Fucked Up but that's your perogative I guess as long as I don't have to hear about it family can't walk w me tonight so i need to hit the treadmill for a bit. ttyl

Gill [Yesterday at 6:41 PM]: See u in a bit! But ah yes, I hadn't thought of that til you brought it up Points at one explanation of Dear Listener manifestations for some ideas, points at a different explanation for ideas that would become unintentionally Pretty Fucked Up under the first explanation Although there is comedy potential to be found in Eiffel and Eiffel-2 having the "are we down with this" conversation In the /Justin McElroy voice, "someone just discovered they have ~the world's worst fetish~" sense

Kat [Yesterday at 7:33 PM]: a different terrible concept: eiffel with his pop culture references restored will likely be called upon to testify at the united nations

Gill [Yesterday at 7:37 PM]: O h g o d Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition

Kat [Yesterday at 7:46 PM]: i mean they're gonna have to tell the world SOMEHOW and i'd think the international court would want to know and he's the one with the subconscious recall implanted sidenote if the DL can do that mental transfer could they have just... asked them to reupload whatever their most recent scan of eiffel was there are so many ways around this that's why it failed to get much of an emotional rxn from me

Gill [Yesterday at 7:47 PM]: Minkowski and Lovelace trying to get him to practice his testimony bc if they hit enough subconscious recall triggers they can at LEAST get thru an explanation of the aliens without Eiffel going off into a tangent Once they're off the Dear Listeners' script though all bets are off

Kat [Yesterday at 7:48 PM]: here's a list of preplanned questions your honor we're not responsible if you ask anything else

Gill [Yesterday at 7:51 PM]: Eiffel, maybe: now Goddard didn't send up us there to bring home any xenomorphs but let me tell you, with the Decima project? They might as WELL have let a facehugger get up close and personal with me The translators rapidly swapping notes on late 70's sci-of cinema because a handful of them actually know what he's talking about

Kat [Yesterday at 7:54 PM]: Minkowski headdesking behind him Eiffel English isn't most of these people's first languages

Gill [Yesterday at 7:57 PM]: The news cameras are all dead-focused on Eiffel. He's hit his stride and is picking up steam. "And it was right around the time I was coughing up my liquefied respiratory system that I thought to myself, gee, I'd MUCH rather get a face of alien wing-wong than deal with this!" Minkowski is off to the side. She is visibly restraining herself. No poker face in the world can hide how hard she is longing for death. Whether it is hers or Eiffel's is a subject of contentious debate.

Kat [Yesterday at 7:58 PM]: someone at an elementary school: hey Garcia, is that your dad

Gill [Yesterday at 8:01 PM]: Anne, who was four the last time she saw her father in person, gets one look at the man weaving an intricate Star Wars metaphor out of crimes against humanity and recognizes him instantly, but signs back "I have never seen this guy before in my life."

Kat [Yesterday at 8:04 PM]: good call kiddo

============

Gill [Yesterday at 8:10 PM]: Honestly I love the concept that no matter how much Eiffel may drive them up the wall sometimes the rest of the crew would meet Anne and immediately be ready to kill a man for her sake

Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: as far as we know he's the only crewmember with kids women in the military... it wouldn't be easy even if you wanted one, which idk if any of them did

Gill [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: Wait wait, brainwave: it is actually AMAZING that Minkowski had no idea Eiffel had a child because... does he seem like the kind of guy. Who would ever resist a Dad Joke.

Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: haha fair

Gill [Yesterday at 8:16 PM]: Eiffel: Actually, I have amazing self-restraint when I choose to exercise it. (Various noises of disbelief.) Eiffel: have you ever heard me tell a dad joke? No? I rest my case

Kat [Yesterday at 8:21 PM]: biggest plot hole of the series more like it was too painful a memory but still

Gill [Yesterday at 8:22 PM]: If he ever patches that connection it'll open the floodgates

Kat [Yesterday at 8:26 PM]: He'll become the Maes Hughes of the gang, except with fewer war crimes

Gill [Yesterday at 8:27 PM]: ...has anyone on this crew done war crimes? SI-5 excepted of course, they have obviously done war crimes

Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: yeah SI5 is war crime central I'm not sure about some of the other stuff executing a prisoner? idk about Minkowski

Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Also my thought

Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: she wasn't a formal pow though it was an ongoing engagement I don't know the rules

Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Minkowski Has Done One (1) War Crime (Goddard Futuristics attempts to bring that against her in the court case only for Maxwell to stroll in like lol what's up gang)

Kat [Yesterday at 8:37 PM]: does Goddard in its current incarnation last long enough to sue anyone i mean i think you could sue them for attempted genocide

Gill [Yesterday at 8:38 PM]: Look I have had one semester of business law You were the one who almost went to law school Also re: other characters being parents, the only one I could see going kiiiinda either way on the subject is Lovelace and it wouldn't have been terribly high on her priority list prior to the Hephaestus mission I can see characters having the opinion that they could see Minkowski as a mom but she and her husband both strike me as understanding themselves and one another as being more career-oriented

Kat [Yesterday at 8:44 PM]: yeah if she wanted to rise in the ranks of the military... that would probably be a strike against her

Gill [Yesterday at 8:44 PM] And the implication she's got a Complex about her parents having both left promising careers to raise her Also, Lovelace: Well I always said I could see myself settling down someday, maybe have a family if I met the right person, but when I took the job with Goddard it was legally dubious whether I could actually do that- Eiffel: Because you're an alien? Eiffel: Eiffel: ...wait a sec

Kat [Yesterday at 8:54 PM]: ha It's ok to be gay in space

Gill [Yesterday at 8:56 PM]: Alternatively it's Hera who said that bc didn't connect those dots right away, meanwhile Eiffel saw Lovelace in a flannel shirt once and Knew Immediately Eiffel may be dumb but somehow his Bi-Fi has yet to fail him

Kat [Yesterday at 8:59 PM]: Hera doesn't grasp human sexuality nuances

Gill [Yesterday at 9:01 PM]: Funny addition to above thought: Eiffel put together that Jacobi was gay after like three days on the Urania, was the only one on the Hephaestus crew to do so, and just never felt it was relevant to bring up Hera, my child... you have much to learn (Also, Hera, probably: I'm experimenting at the moment, I'm looking for a torrent so I can download lesbianism)

Kat [Yesterday at 9:04 PM]: I don't know which option is funnier, that Jacobi is just Really Fucking Obvious but Eiffel was the only one paying attention or that it was super subtle and everyone's like How Did You Do That lovelace's righteous fury overwhelmed her gaydar, she was too mad to go 'same hat'

Gill [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Eiffel: I have something to confess to all of you... Jacobi: Eiffel literally not a single person on this ship is straight Eiffel: Oh I was just going to recount a PG version of my wild younger days, let's just say I know a thing or two because I've seen a thing or two.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Jacobi on Earth: Just matched with myself on Grinder a-fucking-GAIN

Gill [Yesterday at 9:10 PM]: Jacobi: Oh I definitely picked up on it but who wants to go playing into stereotypes by speculating on what may or may not be a promiscuous history? Eiffel: Promiscuous? Look I've got notches in my belt but mostly I just ended up laying in somebody's bathtub at a house party while just conscious enough to nod along to someone else's relationship drama. Eiffel: to several sororities, I was the Gay Bathtub Wizard.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:11 PM]: Maxwell on day one of orientation: So if SI5 is paramilitary what's their stance on alternative lifestyles? Jacobi: I was recruited in a gay bar.

Gill [Yesterday at 9:12 PM]: Her asking the question has my brain going in several different directions

Kat [Yesterday at 9:13 PM]: I think she was recruited right after dadt was repealed... if obama exists in this universe fantasy obama

Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: One part of my brain: Maxwell is also gay Another part of my brain: Maxwell is exclusively attracted to nonhuman persons Yet another part of my brain, most adjacent to number #2: Maxwell voice, who in their right mind would build a robot that can't fuck? The 4th part of my brain: Maxwell wants to know how chill they'll be with her living exclusively off energy drinks and frozen yogurt for weeks at a time

Kat [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: honestly I figured whatever it was it was MUCH weirder than just being gay

Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: Maxwell: I have plans to take over the world with my army of battle bots and rule as their robot queen.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Maxwell: wait if you were recruited in a gay bar does that mean our boss frequents those or did he just go there to get you Jacobi: Believe me the question haunts me also Jacobi: sounds great i'm in

Gill [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Or, Maxwell: I am not joking for an instant when I say that I for one welcome our alien overlords "When I was 13 I tried to get myself abducted by aliens" except it's not a joke it's an actual minor headcanon of mine Also I almost typed "adopted" rather than "abducted" which shows you why Alana would probably want to do that

Kat [Yesterday at 9:19 PM]: she did say she's on bad terms with her family

Gill [Yesterday at 9:20 PM]: She grew up a pastor's kid in a tiny rural town in Montana, hearing that they don't get along is the furthest thing from a surprise to me. The surprise is that Maxwell has a restraining order against them

Kat [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: tht implies the court found reasonable cause to issue one wack anyway i had a long day, i'm gonna call it a night

Gill [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: o/ But yeah that Maxwell empathizes with nonhumans, apparently more than with most regular humans, that makes perfect sense to me I can see her frustration with the AI Ethics board in her last job Expressing Their Concerns and her suppressing flashbacks to many a Creationist rant, and trying to keep her eye from twitching visibly, and no I am not projecting I am just coloring in blank spaces in the narrative with my relevant life experience

#wolf 359 #conversations with kat #deliverusfromsburb

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golgoterror · 5 years

Text

Alright, this is ungodly long, but I just wanted to talk about something regarding Jake.

A lot of this fandom -- at least, from what I’ve seen -- label Jake as stupid. Some may even say Jake and smart are antonyms. This could not be further from the truth. It almost irritates me how much the fandom places this mischaracterization on him. Also, I get to talk about The Lad™ for about ten pages worth of words on Google docs, which is always very, very fun for me.

Well, first things first, let’s talk about the child genius and multi-billionaire polymath that is Jake English.

Puzzle Modus.

Let’s begin with something small. Jake’s modus is of puzzlekind! This is described as:

It's quite a handy modus, allowing you to captchalogue objects of any size, as long as you can fit them all in a finite space by maneuvering the cards around like a big game of Tetris. You like it because it keeps you sharp for solving any puzzles you might find when you go out raiding hallowed tombs, which is never. (x)

He likes puzzles! This is a huge headcanon I absolutely adore that has a basis in the comic: He’s a puzzles guy! This is just sort of a neat little fact about him that I adore to the moon and back. Just the idea of Jake fiddling about with a Rubik’s Cube is kind of adorable.

This is how he goes about doing everything every day of his life. I think that’s just amazing! And incredibly smart of him, I might add.

Skaianet.

Jake is shown in the credits to take over Skaianet after the game ended. For those unfamiliar, Skaianet made many things for the game, including but not limited to: the interstellar travel we see, transportalizers, the lab by Rose’s house, all Jake’s fancy-schmancy computers, and Sburb itself. In the beta timeline, Grandpa Harley founded Skaianet. In the alpha timeline, Grandma English did. I know Jake didn’t start it up and trying to pass off his alt-timeline self as him is a bit far-fetched at best, but he had the spoons to take it over. I think that speaks volumes for Jake’s intelligence -- this implies, at the very least, he can understand mathematics and physics at a high level. Remind you of someone we already know?

It is also important to note that Jake does, in fact, build the company back from the ground up, because it went to shit before his grandmother died:

GT: Pretty sure her company made a tidy fortune til it went belly up. At least i still have a few of her knickknacks for keepsakes. (x)

So he built an interstellar company back up -- using what his intelligent grandmother had once used -- to being very useful and practical once again.

As someone with a degree in mathematics and about to finish a degree in physics, I can say this sort of work would for sure require at the very least a decent understanding of quantum mechanics, statistical mechanics, electrodynamics, calculus (vector and differential forms), ordinary and partial differential equations, and perhaps other things like topology. I don’t know about you -- and I’m probably tooting my own horn a bit by saying this -- but I think that’s pretty nifty, if I do say so myself.

Actor.

Once again, I’m reaching into the credits to show that Jake has become a movie star after the game ends. Memorizing all those lines, slipping into characters... Being an actor is no easy feat.

( Side note: This leads into my headcanon that Jake can imitate accents and voices on a whim. No more arguing about whether he has a British, American, or Australian accent -- you’re all right! )

And I would like to add he has two jobs! Skaianet and being a movie star! This guy’s a fucking polymath for Christ’s sake.

Reading People.

Let’s start of simple: Brain Ghost Dirk. I can hear the outcries now of Dirk’s powers being the cause for this. And, yes, I can’t ignore Dirk’s influence in this, but Jake’s hope powers were also needed for the projection to come alive. And the fact he was able to make such a startlingly accurate projecting of Dirk in his own mind is astounding -- even BGD himself thinks so!

TT: You could view me as a projection of the real Dirk within your mind, as expressed through all of your thought patterns about him. TT: So I'm kind of a splinter of his corporeal self who happens to live in your awareness. TT: I'm a startlingly close approximation to the real thing, for all intents and purposes. GT: Just how startlingly close are we talking? TT: I'm not going to give you a bogus percentage like the glasses cause that's not my shtick. TT: But pretty damn close. (x)

A very deep understanding of the other is needed for Jake to do this. That is pretty fucking incredible. He can clearly read people really well -- he had a few times where he was cluing in on Jane and Dirk have feelings for him:

TG: its one of those things jane likes about u so much GT: It is? TG: which TG: errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr im not supposed to talk about 2 u evr so nm GT: Talk about what? TG: nope GT: You mean how um... GT: Well a way in which i suppose... TG: no nope GT: Jane is prone to looking upon me with what i fathom to be more than just friendly affection? (x)

TT: I guess call it an extra birthday present. But instead of a present that's awesome, consider it more like a weird confession that may change the way you feel about me. GT: Whoa uh... GT: Dirk are you... uh... GT: Saying what i think? (x)

He’s not completely clueless on people! In fact, he seems to have a really good understanding of his friends. That’s something a lot of people seem to forget because of the incident that I will be getting to later on.

Fending For Himself.

I’ve already written quite a bit on this, but I’ll sum it up here: Jake is exceptionally good at living in the wild and taking care of himself. Sort of like a wild garden; he doesn’t need to be taken care of. Survival skills, especially around fighting and fending off things, aren’t something everyone has. This, once again, counts in his favour, even if it doesn’t line-up with “book smarts”.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

That’s five things! It’s clear Jake is, in fact, a polymath and incredibly intelligent. So, what’s with the fandom painting him as being dumb? What’s with people actually thinking he’s stupid? I think we can all take several wild guesses as to why that’s the case.

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Takes things literally.

This is something that plagues Jake quite a lot. Case in point:

GT: Wow like the epic kevin costner film? TT: Almost exactly. Especially by the same degree of shittiness. GT: Oh man does that mean you have to drink your own pee?????? TT: You get used to the taste. Welcome it, even. TT: That takes about 15 days in a row of hard piss drinking though. GT: Ewwwwwwwwwwww no dude. No ew. :( TT: Relax, I don't drink any goddamn piss, ok? GT: Oh ok. Whew. (x)

But, well, let’s address the elephant in the room. The chat I laughed so hard at when I read it the first time due to pure, unadulterated second-hand embarrassment: Jake asking Jane if she had feelings for him.

Let’s analyze this, shall we? Jake starts off by being vague as all Hell, and I’ll spare those details, until finally...

GT: Just come out and say it. Do you fancy me? GG: No! GT: I see. GT: Very well then. GT: Jeez i mustve really misread that one! I feel like kind of a bone head now. (x / x)

Okay, she says no, and he backs off. That’s fine and dand--

GG: No!!!!!! GG: Oh my God, what am I saying here? GG: Jake, I didn't mean it! I didn't want to make you feel that way! GT: Now jane lets not backpedal here. GT: Youve spoken the truth and i greatly appreciate and respect you for that. GT: But now that i think about it you know what? GG: ... GG: No? :( GT: Please dont take this the wrong way but your answer is actually kind of a relief! (x)

... Oh, right. Yeah. It keeps going. It just keeps--

GT: Actually since youve made your feelings apparent and only see me as a friend that makes it a lot easier! GG: Haha, yes! GG: Friends!!!! GT: Maybe you could help me sort out some stuff that has been weighing on me lately? GG: Well what are friends for Jake!!!!! (x)

Sweet Jesus, Jake.

GG: Me? GG: HOO HOO HOO! GG: I'm just GG: Terrific! GG: I'm feeling so... GG: Friendly!!! GG: I clearly just want to be a good friend and bring all my AMAZING FRIENDLINESS to bear on your problems. GG: Friendlystyle! Ahahahah? GG: Shit I mean GG: Ahahahah! GT: Thats aces. Jane youre a sweetheart. (x)

Alright, alright, enough! You all remember the fucking chat.

Regardless, it’s very apparent Jake takes things at face value. I also will cite him talking to Jane before her birthday, but not list examples, because what happened above will just happen once again.

Okay, so he takes things at face value. What’s wrong with that? He trusts people to not lie to his face -- to not sugarcoat things or beat around any bushes. Perhaps I’m projecting a bit, but I do the same damn thing. I think a lot of people do! I don’t think reading things as fact over text is a good measure of someone’s intellect. All it does is show he has issues with communication. Okay, so he struggles with one thing. Sue me.

Doesn’t catch things right away.

Yeah okay I’m just gonna dump a few examples of this.

GT: Haha wow. Must have been a hell of a guy. TT: So... TT: You're not making any connections there? GT: Where? Huh? TT: Famous comedian, about the age of your grandma, inheriting the family name of the Baroness... TT: Not ringing a bell? GT: What are you talking about! Dirk stop speaking in riddles and keep telling the story i am on tenterhooks here! TT: Ok, well it's not like it's that important. Just a super obvious thing that'll probably occur to you later when you're looking in the fridge you don't have, at which point you'll feel like an idiot. GT: Oh my god you can be one opaque motherfucker just clue me in bro! TT: Nah, it'll be funnier this way. GT: STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!! TT: Moving on. (x)

GT: Whats going on? TT: Took you long enough to figure it out. TT: Pages really are a slow burning class. Damn. GT: Figure what out! TT: You're asleep. (x)

This leads into the point above. His mind doesn’t work that way -- but that doesn’t mean he’s not intelligent. He needs everything laid out in front of him so he can make the connections and understand what’s happening, but there’s no real harm in this, and it certainly doesn’t dictate whether the guy is “intelligent” or not.

There are many, many more examples in canon depicting Jake as having difficulties with communication and you all can open most of his pesterlogs and probably find one. I’m not going to list anymore. But, hold your horses, I swear I’m getting to a point!

Difficulty reading.

A lot of the media Jake consumes is picture-based. Movies, comics, even the puzzles are most likely spacial and probably not riddles. It’s not far to imagine Jake might not be a terribly good reader, considering nobody was really around to make him read. Of course, his grandmother was around when he was little, so he can read -- and he can read just fine. But he probably isn’t very good at it simply from lack of practice. He also has terrible grammar, something Jane picks on him for, so it’s entirely possible that’s a contributing factor. He may just have trouble reading and writing.

Speaking from experience, I have dyslexia. As such, reading and writing are incredibly hard for me. I never read the books in my literature classes -- both in English and French -- but I did get the gist of the books (enough to get a decent mark in the class at least) by watching a movie adaptation of the novel. I don’t think it’s that far-off to think Jake may, indeed, do the same thing.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

NOTE: This next part is a bit hard for me to write, because I don’t want to vilify any of you. It might not have clued in on anyone or maybe you just saw Jake as a sort of comic relief and meant no harm by it. And I hope shining a light on this will make you all think twice about the guy. However, I can’t really avoid this next part, and I may get a bit emotional in it. Just a bit of a warning.

All of the above points are just me trying to say Jake probably has undiagnosed learning disabilities and perhaps autism. I don’t think I need to go into detail about how those don’t make someone “stupid”. If you think that’s the case, fuck you. I can’t argue with ableists, much less do I actually want to.

NOTE: I wrote a thing on his speech impediments. That may be of interest too. I don’t really know, but here it is nonetheless.

My take-away message here is: just because someone struggles with socialization or other things doesn’t mean fucking anything in terms of their intelligence. Jake is very clearly smart and has the ability to read people incredibly well -- to the point of making copies of them! Perhaps it’s just a bit easy to underestimate the guy compared to other characters, though.

There are other things that muddy this up a bit, unfortunately.

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Trolling.

Jake is such a fucking troll. Jesus shitting Christ, does he get a kick out of acting stupid just to make the other person look silly. Or perhaps even to make himself laugh in the process. Case in point:

uu: I WILL JUST BE YOUR PATRON DUDE. uu: OR MAYBE. YOUR PATRON MANBRO. GT: Sounds pretty gay. uu: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? GT: Whats what? uu: GAY. WHAT'S GAY YOU IDIOT FUCK. GT: Oh right. GT: Forgive me i forget you arent familiar with all of my earth lingo. GT: Its like... GT: How do i explain. GT: You know. Its a rather old fashioned term for being jolly and festive together. GT: Like "that rollicking time we had scrumming the other eve sure was gay." uu: I SEE. uu: THEN YES. YOU ARE CORRECT. uu: THIS IS GOING TO BE GAY AS HELL. (x)

Look at his goddamn face during this exchange:

That little bastard knows exactly what he’s doing.

And these aren’t stand-alone events! Jake is very, very silly and will use the fact others see him as stupid to have a little fun. May as well, right? And, in the process, he makes others look pretty damn stupid.

But sometimes it’s a bit hard to tell when he’s acting stupid against when he’s genuinely not getting something. I think he even fools himself sometimes! So you have to be a bit careful about fake-outs. I’m sure even the other alphas have trouble deducing when he’s doing this -- which only adds to the myth of him actually being “stupid” when viewed on first-glace.

He probably also does this with crushes, purposefully ignoring the signs because he doesn’t want to deal with it or may not believe anyone could like him that way. After all, if he’s wrong, he may think himself to be conceded and having a big head. So, he ignores the signs, thus convincing himself the feelings aren’t there. Then he gets absolutely fucking bamboozled beyond belief to find out they actually do like him. But that’s just a little side-note.

Thinks he’s stupid.

This one is just a bit... Sad. Very sad. Jake genuinely does think he’s stupid. Quite a lot, really.

GT: I shoulda asked where he fit into the picture if you were raised alone. I can be dumb as a bag of penny candy sometimes. (x)

Just... Man, he’s been called and treated as stupid so many times, he’s at the point where he believes it. If you asked him, he’d say Dirk is a genius, Roxy is always smart and sassy, and Jane is brilliant. (I don’t have a source for that last one but... Come on. She lectures him about grammar. Don’t fuck with me.) But when it comes to himself? He can’t say the same. Of course he then acts that way. He sees himself as a burly adventurer who is also a gentleman and tries to live up to that. No where along those lines does he think he’s intelligent. And that’s just... a little heartbreaking, really, all things considered.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Can’t believe this blog is just me going, “Wanna see how fast I can talk about Jake?”, and a shit-ton of people all nodding before I talk for six hours straight. Anyway, take-home message is: Jake’s smart. Jake’s very, very smart. He’s also a himbo, but he’s incredibly smart. Just because he has learning disabilities doesn’t mean fuck-all.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. There are drinks and refreshments in the back. Have a safe trip home. Remember to tip your waiters and waitresses. Jesus fuck can I run this gag any harder into the ground? Giving me language was a mistake. No but, really, if you read this whole damn thing, thank you! I hope this was as fun to read as it was to write.

#ooc.#headcanons.#about.#ableism tw #and i hate to do this but after the speech impediment post i must:#dont steal these headcanons.#(unless youre a jake rper then by all means thats fine!)#yes these arent exclusive to jake but this took a lot of time and effort #id appreciate it if youd all respect that #tia! <3

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