#i mean ofc she's trying her best i'm not criticising her

[thecoiledserpent]

↑ this, and if a man is problematic online, then he's going to be even worse irl 🤷‍♀️ the entire perception that our online presence or persona does not reflect our true self is false. if you notice, then you can always figure out the inner workings of a person simply by seeing how they act with or react to people. a man who acts toxic on the net is going to be no different irl

Anytime a man is known for getting into fights with other men, just know he's gonna beat women up with zero hesitation in private. Look at Xxxtentacion. When I learned that Dennis Rodman headbutted other men (basketball players, a referee, an SNL comedian etc.) and would kick cameramen for no reason, all I had to do was google his name and attach 'domestic violence' to it. And what do you know. In 2008, he was charged with spousal battery.

Men who hate other men are likely to treat women like shit too. Or even worse. They don't have to be outwardly violent lmao. Never give them the benefit of the doubt either way.

[evelhak]

I was googling if a certain book was on the Rory Gilmore Reading Challenge and somehow the war on the character was in the first search results side by side and I thought it was funny. 😂

Ok, well, the first one was more about how Yale isn't like she said but the hate for the character in general was also mentioned and a part of the point there. Meanwhile the second one actually starts with how she did do wrong things but it's about how she is criticized way too harshly and hated for mistakes anyone could have made and often victim blamed too.

I'm on about this again, I know, but I have a particular dislike for when characters (or humans too ofc) are not truly being criticised for their mistakes but actually just being hated or punished for not being perfect, because the audience expected them to be a role model of some sort.

A lot of people claim that it's the show's fault because the character was framed as a role model, which just doesn't make any sense to me. It's not an educational show. It's entertainment. It's about someone really young who is striving to do the best they can. And it's obvious from the very first episode that this is a sheltered teenage character learning new things, having a ton of first experiences, and the way she handles them is not nearly always at first the best one, and sometimes she also just has a bad day. That's an integral part of the journey. That's the whole point. That it's okay to make mistakes, you'll learn and you'll survive past them. Because the story is describing humanity. It's not trying to give you straight answers. If you feel like a character betrayed you by not reaching the standards you hold them to, the problem is yours.

Yeah, everyone has blind spots and faults but if you perceive a character (who is honestly a really realistic portrayal of a human being under her circumstances) to be initially so perfect that you have to scrutinize her to find faults and when you do you blow it out of proportion and she's suddenly the arch villain of her generation, just for being human then maybe the problem is that you misinterpreted the show to begin with and held her to standards she was never meant to be held to.

It's just a big pet peeve of mine when characters aren't treated as means to understand human beings and reflect upon your views of the world, but instead as some sort of reflection of your morality based on which character you love or hate and having a 'correct' opinion on who is irredeemable and who is actually just a victim and not responsible for anything they do. That's where this usually seems to culminate.

Characters are tools. Aside from driving the plot forward (because I'm more into character driven stories:) they are there to demonstrate relationship dynamics, behavioural patterns, all sort of gravity of a particular situation, personality traits, and so much more, and you can obviously criticise how the story portrayed some elements or characters but also people kinda need to understand that a story is never objective and it isn't meant to be. It's kind of the whole point of stories to empathise with the point of view. That doesn't mean you shouldn't look outside of it, it's just that if you feel like a blatant, huge, character defining, story-wise very obviously intentional mistake like sleeping with someone's husband or dropping out of school "ruined a character" then maybe you need to consider that you might be rejecting the story because you didn't want this character to be human or something?

Like, the whole point of writing characters in character driven media (which Gilmore Girls very much is) is to give people opportunities to take the character's perspective and try to understand how they ended up doing what they did, how it makes sense for the character and how this can enhance your understanding of other people and yourself. If fiction like this is approached with a desire to judge, and not with curiousity and understanding at the forefront, then what is the point? (Understanding doesn't equal excusing something by the way.)

If you've done all this work and just don't like Rory or someone else as a character, I'm not talking to you. Taste is subjective, that's cool, I'm not saying anyone has to like Rory. I'm just sad about the approach and the completely misguided reasons to hate her and declare her "the worst". That's different than just not vibing with her.

But I guess thinking Rory Gilmore is a supervillain just shows to what extent people are capable of twisting situations and dynamics and exaggerating things in their head when they're disappointed.

[musette22]

Hii sry to bring this up again I'm not the same anon who asked about this before andyour answer was very nice and ofc you can be critical about it and everything, I feel like you didn't address the main thing the anon mentioned which was that you are criticizing negatively without actually watching the show Heck I have critical opinions about the show for sure my stand on disney/marv is exactly the same as yours I think, but I feel like you should watch smthn if you're going to criticize

While I understand what you mean, I think it’s a bit more complicated than that! (also the fact that you say I’m ‘criticising negatively’ indicates to me that maybe I didn’t make the point I was trying to make in my last ask as well as I wanted to). I also understand why, at this point, it may seem like I have all these ‘negative’ opinions on tfatws, but that’s actually not the case! That’s mostly just a result of people coming to me with things that are bothering them about it, that I then respond to - and in this particular case, me reblogging a thing that I have a strong personal opinion about. However, I’m fully supportive of the good and fun parts of it, and of all my pals who are loving it so far!!

Just for the record, while I haven’t seen every episode back to front, I’ve seen plenty of clips and gifsets that have allowed me to form an opinion, at least on this particular aspect we’ve been discussing. I also make sure to read a couple of reviews every Friday to stay up to date, and I have a lot of people coming to talk to me to discuss certain things about the show every week, both positive and negative (I’m seeing plenty of both, and I think that, while I don’t talk about the show a lot on my blog, it does reflect both. There is room for both!) 

It’s similar to how there are a lot of movies and books that I haven’t seen or read and yet I’ve seen or heard enough about to have formed the opinion that I don’t agree with certain aspects of them. I don’t have to watch ‘Music’ by Sia to understand it’s not propagating something I stand by, because people with more expertise on the subject than I have, have (in my opinion) quite convincingly explained what (in their opinion) is wrong with it - in fact, this is one of the purposes of writing and reading critiques of pieces of media! The thing that started this particular discussion we’re having now was a Twitter thread by a licensed therapist explaining why, in her opinion, she didn’t think the subject of Bucky’s therapy was handled as well as it could have been in tfatws, and as someone who has been on the receiving end of therapy, and who has seen said therapy scenes, I found myself agreeing with that particular opinion - and I expressed that in what I think was a respectful way. Yes, I agree that often it’s best to form opinions based on what you’ve seen with your own two eyes, but it’s not the only or always the best way to do it. I’m familiar enough with Marvel/Disney and the way they tend to handle certain topics, and sometimes not being as involved and viewing something from a distance can help, too.

And just as a final remark, and then I’m going to stop discussing this for the moment, but I feel like some people are viewing me voicing some opinions on certain aspects as the show as me attacking the whole show, which really isn’t the same thing, I assure you!! I’ve always been critical of certain aspects of Marvel movies and shows, this is not an exception. Again, you’re free to disagree with me, and I’m not forcing anyone to read my opinions, which is why I tag them so they can be filtered! But it is my blog, and I don’t really like being told what I should or shouldn’t express on it, you know? Please, by all means, filter the tag, and like I said, if you still are uncomfortable or disagree, don’t hesitate to unfollow. I understand, and I just want people to do their thing the way they want to - and that includes myself! Thanks for understanding <3

[parisbian]

also not the ask meme but can u pls list your fave lgbt films/ novels? i have a while lgbt folder but I'm always looking to expand it

hey, i’m saving the french questions for tomorrow when i’m feeling more lively but thank you so much for asking! not all of these are super gay, so I’m gonna try give little descriptions so you know what you’re getting! (also I’m gonna explain how they’re all problematic cuz why not)

Films: 

❤Blue is the warmest colour (French)

I’m sure you know this one! A young french girl meets someone an older girl; they have this affair spanning several years and the story is just nuanced and detailed in a really lovely way, this was my Confused 13 Year Old movie. i don’t like that the movie could quite easily have been about a straight couple (and the actors STRESS that in interviews oml), and that Adele’s sexuality isn’t really explored?? 

❤All about them (french)

a woman has an affair with her friend, and then the boyfriend of her friend at the same time! which sounds despicable but this movie is honestly delightful i can’t even express it. good exploration of polyamory too (SO rare) 

❤J'ai tué ma mère (french)

you seen this angst ridden masterpiece? edgy gay teen has a bizarre relationship with his mum; it’s beautifully shot. the main character is played by a really good looking actor (what? I’m gay not dead) and i often think the movie would be really different and less sympathetic if he wasn’t? which makes you think! 

❤the way he looks (brazilian, i believe) 

this is a lovely movie about a blind boy who has feelings for his friend and the subsequent shenanigans. i cannot fault this movie it is lovely and i think the only movie I’ve ever seen about an lgbt boy with a disability. 

❤la nouvelle amie (french) 

this is a movie about a transgender woman who explores her identity following the death of her wife. the main character is the best friend of the deceased woman, and she grows closer to her best friends spouse following her death. i think there’s a lot of outdated notions about transgender women (but obvs I’m cis so it’s like?? is this okay?? idk??) but at the same time i think the film is ultimately positive and worth watching. 

Books! 

(we’re gonna be here all night holy shit) 

Beauty Queens by Libba Bray (YA)

this is a weird book? and once the pirates get involved it kinda goes downhill. BUT it’s interesting! a group of teenage beauty queens are stranded on a desert island, sort of a play on lord of the flies. it’s set in this ultra-capitalist imagined future, it’s very satirical and very good. the gay element is actually very smal (a lesbian and a bi character have a brief dalliance) but it just has some good views on sex and sexuality, i really think this book is worth reading despite it’s ridiculous elements. 

Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman 

a 17 year old and a 24 year old (two guys) fall in love (kinda..) in the picturesque summer of 1980s italy. the prose: gorgeous. the characters: VERY well written. some of the sex? just fuckin weird and uncalled for PUT THE PEACH DOWN ELIO. i did relate to angsty confused elio tho!! lots of americans start screaming at the age gap but i think being 17 and british means it never bothered me?? but obviously something to be aware of! also people criticise it for being pretentious and flowery but i love that in books! if they talk like real people then.. what’s the point? i want BEAUTY and PROFUNDITY! 

Darshana Suresh is a poet on tumblr @lavnderlesbian, she’s published several books and they are absolutely BEAUTIFUL and make me cry, so if you like poetry I’d definitely recommend! (also read the works of sappho while you’re at it, thanks for inventing lesbians babe i love you) 

Sugar Rush by Lili Wilkinson 

the most problematic book ever in how it deals with a lesbian relationship tbh?? but it was the first gay book i ever read when i was like 9 or 10 and i loved this book (in a curious hetero way ofc) so it holds a special place in my heart. also, it reminds me of the beauty of weird homoerotic adolescent friendships so i like it! but yeah this book is not good on a lot of levels, so don’t rush and buy it or anything. 

Gypsy Boy by Mikey Walsh 

this is an autobiographical book written by a man who is a Romany Gypsy and it’s a great book, seriously. the book is very sad, there’s some awful child abuse and sexual assault so please don’t read if it will be distressing. also, the gay mentions are only at the end; throughout the book it’s really only shown to make his life hell. the book covers important topics like the persecution of the group, and when i first read it (i was about 12) it was such an eye opener. i live like 10 metres from a campsite and there’s a lot of prejudice in my town about it, so I’m glad i got to read this book. 

i’ll tell you if anything else springs to mind, and i’d love to hear your faves! 💖💞 (and let me know if you have questions about anything I've listed!)