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impracticaldemon · 7 years

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The Festival of Love ~ Fairy Tail Fanfiction ~ With Time Travel! ~ Samurai Natsu! Barbarian Gray!

by Impracticaldemon | FFnet | AO3 [Chapter 1 rated T] [Ch 2 will be M]

March 1 Prompt: Time Travel (Past) AU @fic-writer-appreciation

Author's Note: This story was intended to be a Valentine's Day gift for the lovely @nalufever. Actually, it still is! However, since it is very late, I have incorporated a wee touch of Saint Patrick's Day to go along with it.

Warning: Shameless use of faux ancient brogue (probably faux Scottish, but definitely faux), and a weird combination of canon Magnolia, sixteenth century Japan, and faux Olde English. I have totally abused "ye", since it sounded better than plain old "you". Thou, thee, thy / thine are generally used correctly, but no promises. This story has its occasional serious moments, but should not be taken too seriously.

~ Impracticaldemon

The Festival of Love, Part I - The Perils of Fairy Cakes

"So…" Lucy slid onto the bench next to Erza and rested her beer and elbows on the scarred wooden table. The tables were new—again—but they already looked like they'd seen several ugly bar-fights. Fairy Tail was like that.

Erza glanced up from her slice of cake in surprise. "Lucy? I thought you were off on a mission with the guys?"

Lucy frowned. "They were being even more difficult than usual, and after the third fight I told them to handle it on their own."

"Oh. I thought they were doing so much better these days, too." Erza sounded genuinely disappointed.

"Don't worry about it—really. I think all the pink hearts and glitter of our Valentine's Day party got to them, and now they feel the need to prove their, ah, macho-ness or something. Which brings me to my question—"

"The decorations were lovely," Erza murmured. Lucy shot her a suspicious look, but Erza had a dreamy expression on her face, and didn't seem to have interrupted on purpose. In the same kind of pensive tone, the red-head continued: "I thought that you looked very nice, Lucy. Also, Natsu was much better behaved than usual, which meant that Gray was as well. Or vice versa, perhaps…"

"Erza." Lucy took a gulp of beer and prepared to take the plunge. "Jellal's going to be pardoned any day now. Nobody's trying to lock him up any more. Why didn't he come to the party?"

Erza stiffened, and her cheeks gained a tinge of red.

"He was… busy. As well he might be, with everything that has happened. I completely understood, of course." She poked absently at her cake—a rare sight. "Besides, we are good friends who have overcome much adversity, but we are not… not… lovers." The red tint returned to Erza's face, but she continued with her usual resolve. "So there was no reason to attend such a party, really."

Lucy had to forcibly restrain herself from using Happy's line of "You liiiiiike him!" Instead, she chose her words with care, glad that she was only halfway through her beer.

"Well, we were sorry not to see him, of course. The guys are over any hard feelings, you know—if nothing else, they were seriously impressed with him for taming most of the Oracion Seis single-handed. So I was thinking that you might want to invite him—and anyone else from Crime Sorcière of course—to Fairy Tail's upcoming Lucky Shamrock Dance. Just as friends, of course." I can't believe Mirajane actually called it the Get Lucky Shamrock Dance, and I'm not going to share that information just now.

"We're having another party so soon? It's only been a week since Valentine's Day."

"Erza. You're my friend and I love you, but you really need to lighten up." When Fairy Tail's most dangerous sword-swinger tensed again, Lucy smiled reassuringly—or hoped she did. "Erza, don't worry about it, we all do. Need to relax, I mean. Hence the socials, or whatever weird name Mira's calling them these days."

There was a rather long pause, and then Erza took a deep breath and nodded firmly. "Yes, of course. And it is important for the members of Fairy Tail to be in the best possible condition for the challenges ahead." Whatever they may be, thought Lucy to herself. "Very well," continued her companion. "I will ensure that Jellal—and the other members of Crime Sorcière—are invited to the Lucky Shamrock Dance. I expect that he—or they—will attend, once I explain how important it is."

They'll attend if they know what's good for them, you mean. Lucy nodded gravely, but surreptitiously flashed a thumb's up to Mirajane at the bar. The white-haired woman glided over a moment later, as cheerful and friendly as ever.

"I saw you mangling your cake, Erza, so I brought you a fresh slice."

"I didn't mangle it."

All three women stared down at the sad remains of Erza's cake.

"Yup, you did," stated Lucy. For once, Erza accepted her conclusion without further protest.

Erza and Jellal arrived together at the Lucky Shamrock Dance. Erza had been on-hand to greet all of the members of Crime Sorcière when they first arrived in town, and she'd intended to make sure that they were happy with the accommodations she had chosen. However, Richard had smiled gently and left immediately for Fairy Tail, saying that he wanted to find out whether Jura had arrived, and Meredy had gone with him, though not before giving her blue-haired guildmaster an encouraging pat on the shoulder. There was a new sadness around her eyes, which Erza ascribed to Ultear's disappearance not so long ago, but for the most part she seemed as cheerful as usual.

Since Richard and Meredy were the only members of Crime Sorcière who had elected to come to the Fairy Tail party, their departure had left Erza alone to chat with Jellal. Social small-talk was never an easy thing for either of them. Their feelings for each other ran deep, and Jellal seemed hell-bent on accepting unrequited love as his probable fate, which angered Erza, since she returned his love, and therefore his supposed self-denial was as much a penance for her as for him. She had yet to find a suitable way to express that sentiment to Jellal, since part of her understood his need for penance and absolution.

Fortunately, Lucy and Juvia had also been aware of how awkward the pair's meetings could be. They had ensured that Erza was prepared with the finest in "Lucky Shamrock" attire, all of it green, glitzy, and sure to break the ice, whether through laughter or revulsion. It had worked, too. Erza had to give her friends points for that, and it didn't hurt that she secretly—or not so secretly—loved kitschy clothing.

More than a few people turned and stared when Jellal arrived in a sparkly green top-hat, form-fitting white trousers with sequinned green bell-bottoms, and a matching t-shirt that read "Who Needs Luck When Your Hands Are Pure Magic?" Coaxing him into the outfit had taken some doing, but Jellal was always gracious when it came to Fairy Tail—and Erza. Erza's glittering green leprechaun jacket and hip-hugging mermaid-style skirt were really quite normal in comparison. She liked the giant, shamrock-shaped hairpin thrust through the top of her sweeping red up-do, however.

The "not actually a couple" made their way through the laughing, chattering crowd in search of drinks. Drinks duly obtained, Erza immediately moved to acquire two of the delicately frosted cakes piled high on a table near the bar. She made sure that Jellal took a couple as well.

"Now we're all set," she murmured with satisfaction.

"Alcohol and dessert—a well-balanced meal if there ever was one," Jellal agreed gravely. The wary tension that was now second-nature to him was gradually fading. Being at Fairy Tail and around Fairy Tail mages always relaxed him—at least, it did on the rare occasions that he visited for reasons that didn't involve the imminent end of the world, or Life As We Know It.

"Absolutely. Now then…"

They both raised their glasses. The sign above the cakes proclaimed that a toast had to be made for every treat taken from the tray.

"To good luck." Erza touched her glass to Jellal's and drained half the contents.

"To good friends." Jellal smiled at Erza, the weariness in his eyes replaced with soft appreciation.

"To true love." Shocked by her own words, Erza hurriedly clinked Jellal's glass and drank down the rest of her improbably verdant beer. (1)

A moment later, the world spun around her, vanishing in a haze of grey fog and glittering stars.

"What the bloody hell?!" Not Jellal's voice—Natsu's?

"Ignarr' them, peat-fer-brains! Get thy demonic arse o'er here tae deal wi' th' bluidy arrows!" Gray?

There was a lot of yelling going on, and the distinct sound of sword striking sword with unfriendly intent. Erza struggled to sit upright, but somebody had their arms wrapped around her and seemed reluctant to let go.

"Don't move. We seem to have landed in the middle of a battle." Of course. It would take a battle for Jellal to hold me like this.

"So I see—and hear." Erza looked around cautiously. A partial—and rapidly melting—ice barrier rose nearby, and had probably saved them from being the unwilling recipients of the business-like, near-meter-long arrows they could see arcing overhead. In fact, it was clear that the extreme arc was being used to get around the ice.

"Whoevairr y'arr"—the speaker seemed unnaturally fond of his 'r's—"ye'd best dae somethin' tae protect yer lady. We're in a rright bit o' trouble heerre, ye ken?" He looked like a slightly shorter, leaner version of Gray, although he wore an eyepatch over his right eye. His visible eye was a stormy, dark indigo.

"Aye—I mean yes—I can see that," replied Jellal, cautiously sitting up and eyeing the knots of combat around them. Most of the men involved—and the one woman—were wielding katana, the curved-bladed, single-edged swords of the country's past. And every person but themselves—and Eyepatch-Gray—wore kimono and hakama, and the brightly-lacquered armour of the ancient samurai.

"No, we are not in trouble!" The young man who looked like Natsu ignored Jellal and responded directly to his comrade. "Don't be such a poltroon, thou northern seek-sorrow! And thou didn'st even thank me for takin' out ye bows!"

"Watch thy tongue, tha fiery bastarrd! Bows or no, they've got mair men, and the Stairm-bringair ain't one tae trifle with! Not tae mention his warr-witch!"

"Is that Laxus?" Erza interposed, gazing intently out over the battlefield. Samurai-Natsu's camp was situated on a low rise, backed by dense forest. The combatants—about twenty or twenty-five a side—were fanned out in a slight u-shape less than twenty meters away.

Erza was quickly (if regretfully), slitting her dress up to her hips and stripping off her high-heeled emerald slippers. The turf was definitely too soft for stilettos. Nobody seemed to notice—or care—that she'd grabbed a long knife from a nearby pile. She was having difficulty summoning her own weapons and armour.

"Who, now?" The pink-haired warrior gave her an odd look. "Surely ye know the name of that blond menace out there? And the she-devil, his war captain? Meaning no disrespect, milady."

Jellal cleared his throat. "They both look familiar, but we're strangers here."

"Oh. Well, don't know how you ended up in the middle of our camp, but I've got to get out there before Graeg yells at me again—even though he was the one to insist on coming back here to check on the prisoner. If ye want to help, feel free to borrow a sword, although"—the warrior paused, as if seeing Jellal properly for the first time—"ye don't exactly look arrayed for battle. Funny, I thought ye were when I first saw ye."

"We were dressed for a party, not a fight," Erza snapped, although there was often little difference between the two at Fairy Tail. "We'll be fine. Before you go—what's your name, and why are you and Storm-Bringer fighting?"

"Well, we have his other captain, ye see." Natsu's near-twin gestured at a hanging cage, from which a deceptively slender, green-haired man was surveying the battle, his expression sardonic rather than concerned. "I mean… it's the Love Festival this evening starting at sundown, right?"

Noting Erza's darkening expression at the obscure explanation, Jellal paused in buckling on a belt and scabbard. "And capturing Free—I mean that man—has to do with the Festival? I take it that the other side is trying to get him back before the sun sets?"

"Well, of course. Freed the Dark and Jana the Fair—though she'd be a whole lot fairer in my book if she wasn't so fond of torture—they're the Storm-Bringer's chosen companions, right? So obviously—"

"Whut, in the names o' ae the de'ils art thou doin' now, ya gorrrmless twist o' hot airrr?" Graeg was back and clearly irritated. His face might be familiar, but the leather bracers and body armour, and the massive, ice-edged broadsword were new. "Twas thy bacon-brrained idea that brrought us heerrrrre! Thou wanted tae 'test' the Staerrm-Brringair! Weel then! Gaet thysel' out therre an' test him, ya—"

"Coming, coming! Thou knowest what, Graeg? Thou should'st use thine ice to calm thy temper!" Their 'host' unsheathed his katana and swung it up onto one armoured shoulder, casually flicking the blade to set it on fire. He looked back at Jellal and Erza. "I'm called the Salamander, or Fire-Bringer, but if ye want to join our cause, then just Dragneel is fine. Good? Good!"

Salamander-Fire-Bringer-Just-Call-Me-Dragneel grinned at them, and then ran off toward a spot where the fighting was getting especially serious for the 'Capture-Freed' team. Graeg the Title-less eyed them suspiciously.

"Jest tae be clearrr"—Erza decided the extra 'r's got worse when Graeg was agitated—"if ye ain't on ourr side an' ye trrrrry tae pull anything, I'll drrrrive ice spikes intae yerr eyes."

"That's very clear," responded Jellal, face suddenly grim.

"Weeeell, a-rright then. Talk tae ye latairr, assumin' we're ae alive, eh?" With a last, measuring look, Graeg raced off after Dragneel.

"I'm all set," declared Erza. "But the question is, what should we do?"

"I'm really not sure." Jellal looked out at the approaching chaos of melee battle, which flashed with intermittent gouts of flame and arcs of lightning. "I don't think we know enough to pick a side without endangering possible innocents."

"There really aren't any innocents among us," called a cultured voice from the cage not far behind them. "But I don't recommend wasting your lives in a futile attempt to prevent Lord Dreyar from reaching me. Dragneel's a young fool, and the ice-maker is desperate to prove his worth, being a foreigner and all. I don't see why strangers such as yourselves should get involved."

"Is that so…" Jellal said softly. He walked closer to the cage and peered up. "Tell me, what about the Storm-Bringer's grandfather? Why isn't he resolving this problem?"

Thin green eye-brows arched in surprise over pale blue eyes.

"Lord Dreyar's grandfather is dead—he'd be eighty or ninety if he weren't—and my lord would never get His Royal Highness his father involved in a personal matter."

Erza was starting to get twitchy. As important as it was to learn the rights and wrongs of the situation, she found herself rather keen to challenge 'Jana the Fair'. Plus, Dragneel's embattled forces were starting to fall back toward them. In a few minutes, she and Jellal would be pitched into the battle no matter what. There were only modest, wooden fortifications in place, and nothing that would stand up to lightning. This was a field camp, no more, although it had clearly been set up ahead of time.

Fortunately, Erza thought that she could finally sense the magic of this place. It felt very raw to her, and difficult to control, but it was there. She hurried up to Jellal, and he gave her a knowing look, which she returned with a faint smile. To her surprise, he moved closer and gently squeezed her hand. It was odd, but… nice. With one glance and a touch, she knew that he was aware of what she was thinking.

"You're Freed the Dark?" Jellal turned his gaze back to the captive, keeping his face scrupulously neutral.

"Yes. And you and your lady?" The light eyes were keenly interested, and cold as graveyard marble.

"I'm Siegrain, and this is Lady Scarlet."

The caged man's eyes narrowed. "How odd. You are telling the truth, but saying very little. Most people aren't good at that—they like to talk about themselves, even when it's unwise."

"We all have our skills."

"Yes… I sense great power from both of you. Perhaps even enough to turn the tide for the hothead and his barbaric friend. Not that they're alone, of course, but they're the major players on the field today for their side. Right now it's not an even fight—they won't be able to hold me for another ten minutes, let alone the hour until sunset. I only gave my word to stay put until my lord reached this cage. You could change the outcome, perhaps."

Erza and Jellal exchanged looks. This version of Freed was distinctly different from their own. He spoke smoothly, and apparently honestly, but there was an undertone of malice to his words. It was as though he were evaluating them as interesting objects, not human beings. Siegrain had been rather similar; it was not a comfortable thought.

"What will happen to Na—Dragneel—and Graeg if they can't prevent Lord Dreyar from rescuing you?" Erza wasn't as smooth as Jellal, but she rarely felt the need to hide anything.

The chilly gaze seemed to sharpen for a moment, and then Freed's evil twin shrugged elegantly and looked down to brush a speck of dirt off his handsome, wine-red kimono. Both kimono and hakama were made of expensive cloth, judged Erza. Not surprisingly, the narrow scabbard—it wasn't made for a katana—was empty. She waited patiently for a verbal answer, despite her awareness of impending battle.

"Dragneel will be punished, but not killed, if that's what you're worried about. He's kin to the Dreyar family, and strangely well-liked for such an arrogant pup. He gets away with a great deal, though he's strayed far beyond the line this time out. As for Graeg, who knows? He's been a thorn in my lord's side for more than two years now, and is undoubtedly talented. He also has a knack for creative strategy, and I suspect that he was instrumental in my capture. The Salamander is extraordinarily strong, and quite intelligent, but impatient."

By the time he had finished, Freed was speaking to thin air. Moving with the sure understanding of those who have known each other, and fought together, since childhood, Erza and Jellal had already entered the fray at the pallisade.

[END of CHAPTER 1]

(1) Verdant, in this case, meaning not only green, but sprouting foliage (a four-leafed clover on long, slender stem). It was a little odd, but more ecologically sound than little paper umbrellas.

Author's Note:

I hope you enjoyed Chapter 1! Please stay tuned for Chapter 2. Notes, comments, and reviews are always appreciated. Hearing from readers—in whatever forum—always makes my day.

@shell-senji @hidetheremote @hakuyamazakisensei @cherryb0mb79 @strawberrysweetlove35 @eliz1369 @canadiangaap @unashamed-shipper @dat-jerza @fury-ous @kazama-hime @sabinasanfanfic

#fairy tail #jerza #ft fanfiction #impracticaldemon #ficsforvera #march 1 prompt #time travel au #imp writes #natsu dragneel #gray fullbuster #freed justine #lucy heartfilia

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occupyvenus · 7 years

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Lmao George is telling us straight out he's turning D*ny into a darker character, Emil*a tells us D*ny is "shredding the last of her humanity," D&D call her a tyrant, one of the show's directors said we should be "a little horrified by her," and still, 9/10ths of this fandom ignores it all and keeps handwaving away all speculation of dark!D*ny as "sexism" or "ship wank disguised as serious meta." I don't get it. The words are right there in front of them, and they're not ambiguous.

I know Anony, I agree: the signs are all there. I’m not saying she is there yet, but there are so many hints pointing at her “breaking bad”. It would be an amazing twist and a very engaging narrative if a character we all followed as “the hero” for so long would turn out to be one of the bad guys in the end. Though, “bad guy” might not be the right word. Antagonist, villain as in “the hero from the other side”, might be more appropriate.

While I do think her very character itself will be compromized and her actions will go further into morally questionable territory, that isn’t even necessary for a villainous development. Her very goals and intentions (conquering the seven kingdoms and restoring the targaryen dynasty - somehow) are enough reason for her to be an adversary to eg the starks. I’m not even sure I would like her to go full “mad queen” or become prominently more cruel or ruthless. (show!Dany at least has done enough horrible shit already). I think the story would be far more interesting if she stayed a clearly “grey” character. It would open up so many fascinating, morally ambigious questions.

What if one relatively good leader - with all her advisors she isn’t as bad as some people say - trys to force their claim over that of another fair and just monarch? (As fair and just as system like feudalism can be at least ….) Is her presumed birthright more important than eg the norths right to independence? Thinking inside the feudal structure is it right of her to reinstall her families power just because she isn’t as bad as her father? Their whole political structure is mainly build on strict cross-generational contracts, the actions of her ancestors do effect her “legitimacy” in both ways, her fathers rule justifies her claim no more than his ultimate subversion diminishes it. I’m aware that on the show all these questions will be put aside for the spectacle™, but I’m really looking foward to grrm dealing with them in the books. So far the D has given a finger to all of these considerations because “she will take back what was stolen from her” and “she was born to rule the seven kingdoms.”

All the D-stans who keep acting like her turning “bad” isn’t even option and the sole idea is only rooted in hate or “shipping wank” and dismiss any analysis of her possibly “villanous” characteristics as sexist annoy me to no ends. People who see her conquest and the targaryen restoration as completely rightoues causes even more so. I literally want to punch people who say things like “Duh, of course they should kneel. Because she’s going to SAVE THEM! SO THEY HAVE TOO! SHE HAS DRAGONS! THEYY NEEEEED HEERR” in the face. Acting like it’s a good thing to force someone to give up their freedom and autonomy for plain survival is just …. so wrong.

But I feel like I have so say something in their defense too. Just to make my views on the matter clear:

I do get why fans of female characters are overly defensive. Women in fiction are seldomly allowed flaws and shortcomings in the same manner as male characters. They always have to be fucking perfect or you are not “allowed to like them”. One wrong step and they are “evil bitches” for the rest of the story. Look at Sansa, for example, who’s still critized and hated for her (childish?) behaviour in AGOT and Season 1. Cersei really is evil, but that doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t sympathize with her, since you know she’s still a human being, and there are people out there who say she deserved all the abuse from Robert for being an “evil bitch”- yes, I am currently writing a piece just on how horrible Bobby B really was. Catelyn is painted as an horribly abusive person for how she treated Jon, even tough there is no textual evidence that she was overly cruel, especially considering the environment she lived in. (No I’m not saying that we as a modern audience should be objectively okay with previously accepted shitty behaviour, but we should give characters the subjective leeway of being products of their time. That’s not the same thing.) I mean, I recently I had some freaking idiot anon in my askbox claiming that any kind of romantic relationship between Jon and the D would be “emasculating” because she’s to powerful to be with a dude apparently. (Not a fan of the pairing, as is known, but Jons “endangoured masculinity” is definitely not among the reasons I don’t like it 🙄🙄🙄) Never underestimate just how many fucking douchebags are out there.

Of course it’s fucking ridiculous to accuse everyone expressing criticism of a female characters as “sexist” or “misogynist”, but I understand that in this toxic enviorment it’s hard to filter justified criticism from all the douchebags lashing out against a female character for every reason they can find. Pretending that women in power can’t do nothing wrong isn’t a solution neither, but that is a topic for an entirely different conversation.

#ask #game of thrones #got speculation #dark!dany #anti-daenerys #i guess #just to be safe #fandom wank #women in fiction #women of game of thrones #sexism #misogyny

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cupcakeshakesnake · 7 years

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Watching Extremis for the first time

(Spoilers below)

-Who’s narrating?

-If you serve as executioners to everything... then you execute flies and mosquitoes and stuff like that?

-”The destruction of a Time Lord--” STOP RIGHT THERE, AND DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME THE DOCTOR’S GONNA BE EXECUTED.

-Holy shit the Daleks are actually an impressive race, they killed a ton of those Time Lords that are supposedly so hard to kill

MISSY??

-WTF

-”I didn’t expect you.” Well then who’d you expect, some other Time Lord who miraculously survived the Time War?

-Ah, gotta love them Daleks with their gossipy mouths, spreading rumors everywhere.

Why is his suit so worn. I’m concerned.

-”They can’t know I’m blind, Missy. no one can know.”

-HA

-FUCKING FINALLY

-SO IT WAS MISSY ALL ALONG

-CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THOSE HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS, MAYBE EVEN HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF THEORISTS OUT THERE WHO GOT IT RIGHT

-”Please, I’ll do anything. Just let me live.” I...

-*phone notification jingle* wut

I DON’T LIKE THIS, I DON’T LIKE THE TITLE OF THAT EMAIL, OR THE COLOR OF THAT EMAIL, OR THE GALLIFREYAN LOADING BAR, OR THE GLITCHY GLITCH EFFECTS

Do all these people have fevers or is the weather just really hot??

-So I’m guessing he uses the shades to aid his vision now?

-Well, as long as he’s not completely in the black I’m fine

-”ve arrrre to com heerre dirrectly frrom the vaticaan”

-The pope???

-what is going on????!?!?!?

-”Pope Benedict. Lovely girl. What a night. I knew she was trouble, but she wove a spell with her castanets.“ wut

-”The Pope doesn't zoom round the world in the Popemobile, surprising people.“

-I am so confused and worried right now

I was kinda losing focus while reading the transcript of this episode and then BOOM, SUICIDE PICTURE FLASHES, WTF

-”Assume nothing. Assumption makes an ass out of you.”

-”I thought you'd moved out from here? “Yeah, slightly didn't work out. Second attempt on the way.”

-”I don't like knowing their names. I only get attached.”

-”Of course not. I have very strict rules about men.“ “Probably not as strict as mine.”

-”Oh, I'm sorry. Here's me thinking that she dragged some poor, terrified man home.“ Poor lady doesn’t know what’s going on, but talk about getting out of a tight spot.

-My favorite scene in the episode so far omg

-Ah yes, Bill’s house pipes that always go VWOOOORP VWOOOOORP.

-”Well, whatever this is, and actually it's not anything yet, it is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.”

Gotta love how them popes come with a pre-installed church organ sound effect

-I only understood one word that sounded like “Doctor”.

“You’re all going to hell.”

-I love Bill omfg

-”Pope Benedict said that you were more in need of confession than any man breathing. But when the offer was made, you replied it would take too much time. On behalf of the Catholic Church, the offer stands. You seem like a man with regret on his mind.“

-Well, that went down in a bad way...

The very fancy scifi watch hidden under the very fancy fantasy-ish robes

The Doctor suspects Darth Sidious is up to something.

-Nope, nevermind, that was Nardole.

OHHH

-”Warning: I have full permission to kick your arse.”

-”Because I don't like being worried about. Around me, people should be worried about themselves.“ "Yeah, shall I tell you the real reason?“ "No.“ "Because the moment you tell Bill, it becomes real. And then you might actually have to deal with it.”

-This episode is about as religious as Doctor Who gets, in my opinion.

...dafuq

-We all know who this looks like

-The library of Blasphemy, huh? That’s quite some Hogwarts stuff there.

-”Harry Potter!” THANK YOU BILL!

-"The layout is designed to confuse the uninitiated.” "Sort of like religion, really.” I can confirm this true, for reasons. "You happy in those shades? Not dark enough for you?” “In darkness, we are revealed. Bill: When did he get so emo?

-”Well, take a few more minutes if you like. Knock yourself out. Actually do. Do that. Knock yourself right out.” Pffft

That’s one great big hood you got there. But pray tell, how do you see what’s in front of you?

-well shit

-”Without hope. Without witness. Without reward.“ What?

-”You'd be wizard at writing Christmas crackers, you two.”

-I thought Christmas crackers were paper sausages with confetti inside them?

Alright, where’s the orange portal?

oHh my GOD

-FUCKING JUMPSCARES!

-”I think there's someone in there.” "Yeah, we are very slightly getting that.”

wHat TEH FUCk

-”Hey, there’s wifi down here!” “Of course there's wifi. It's a library.“

-”Reading chair with a safety belt?”

-Apologies if I seem to be taking too many quotes directly from the episode(s), but I just love the Series 10 dialogue okay

-THAT GUY SHOT HIMSELF

-”Because you're sending us into the dark, after a man with a gun.“ Not as dangerous if said man is dead...

-WEll Nardole got a little weird there

-Bill: *voice cracks* “nARdOLE”

-Nardole: *sees hand* *voice goes up by two octaves* “HIEWIEW”

That’s a pretty gun, but it wouldn’t do much damage in battle.

-”It would be stupid to go and look.” *goes to look*

-DON’T BURN THE DOCTOR’S BRAIN DON’T YOU DARE MOFFAT

-NOW THAT MOFFAT IS ACTUALLY WRITING THE EPISODES, I AM GOING TO BE DOUBLE WARY OF EVERYTHING

WHAT?!?!!

-WHAT THE EVERLOVING RASSILON FLIPPING A TABLE ON A HARLEY DAVIDSON?!?!?!

THE PENTAGON??

the flipping kind of videogame portal hub is this

Meanwhile, in another part of the world, aliens freak out as a bald head pops outta nowhere from the wall of their living room.

-”Cardinal, it worked. I can see.” Yes!

-”Not well enough, not yet.” Okay...

-”The thing about the universe is, whatever you need, you can always borrow, as long as you pay it back. I just borrowed from my future. I get a few minutes of proper eyesight, but I lose something. Maybe all my future regenerations will be blind. Maybe I won't regenerate ever again. Maybe I'll drop dead in twenty minutes." NO!

-”You know, I've read a lot of books that this chair would be quite useful for. Moby Dick. Honestly, shut up, and get to the whale.“ omfg

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CHILD OF GROOT AND A SILENT

-”This is not a game.” “This is a game.”

-Why is that CERN scientist so excited, and more importantly, why does he seem drunk and why is everyone in the cafeteria so gloomy?

WELL THAT ANSWERS THE LAST QUESTION

Reading a legendary script on Microsoft Word.

-(On an unrelated note, I was saving these screenshots and naming them as each alphabet. The one right above happens to be Z.)

-(Could be some other text program but that’s what I think)

-So the screen was getting blurry not because the BBC didn’t want us to commit suicide but because the Doctor was going blind again

-GEEZ THOSE MONKS ARE CR-REEPY ASSES

-THEY’D DO WELL IN A HORROR GAME

Don’t you dare tell me the whole first half of Series 6 was set in a fake world or virtual reality or something like that

-Were those white things all portals to a virtual world

-At least Bill and Nardole got out safely.

-”Are you okay?” “nOOO - Yes. NooO”

“Could be the Doctor.”

-Let’s hope not

-Let’s really, really hope not.

-”They’re projecting everything.” CALLED IT

-AND THE PEOPLE IN THE HOLOGRAMS REALIZED THEY LIVE IN HOLOGRAMS?!?!

-But what if??

-What if our lives are really just holograms

-(I went on Omegle to get a stranger to think of a random number, but ended up answering questions about English)

-(This one person was asking “what does ‘single out’ mean”)

-”You know, like the holodeck on Star Trek, or a really posh VR without a headset. Through there, those places, that's basically Grand Theft Auto.”

-More and more references each episode, huh, BBC?

I uh... happened to pause here so...

-”Please don’t let me be right.”

-Oh shizzles

WHAT IN THE NAME OF A RANDOM DALEK

-NARDOLE IS NOT REAL??

-WHAT IF BILL ISN’T REAL??

-WHAT THE EFF??????!??!?!

Why did the blood change color?

-’Total communication blackout at the White House’? hat happened?

-Did all the people in the White House commit suicide and how did the Doctor come here?

-Ah, the portal yes...

-cold fraggling shizzles.....

-”The Veritas tells of an evil demon who wants to conquer the world. But to do it, he needs to learn about it first. So he creates a shadow world, a world for him to practise conquering, full of shadow people who think they're real.”

-OUR WORLD IS A SIMULATION GAME FOR HIGHER BEINGS, CONFIRMED

The screen ‘popped’ a bit here - it shook a little as if it zoomed slighly in then back out very quickly, accompanied by a tapping sound as if someone had knocked (into) it. Not sure if others saw this too or if it’s something with the site that I’m watching this on.

-Okay, I’m watching the Doctor explain this shit to Bill, and I’m having about as much of a crisis as Bill here

-And then the Super Mario mention though

-Please don’t tell me the past six episodes were holograms

-”A puppet Doctor for you to practice killing.”

-The Doctor Puppet account was worried about that line, yes

-Was that the email he got at the beginning of the episode??

wHOA chill please

At least the last six episodes weren’t all fake.

-Then when did the hologram-reality start?

-”It means I'm a scary, handsome genius from space and I'm telling you no, she's not out of your league.”

-”I have the feeling that we're going to be very busy. Call her tonight.“ Aww

-I hope Bill actually gets a girlfriend sometime this season

o i g e t o f f

-wHAT

*insert relatable quote about Monday mornings*

Some fast fingerwork there... NO I DID NOT INTEND TO SOUND LIKE THAT

-The guy is becoming uneasier by the second

-I don’t like the whirring sound??

-How are they gonna move her to the box in the middle of the water

It ends here?!

-Oh yeah right... They’re supposed to be a three-parter. Followed by another three-parter to finish off the season.

-Welp, looking forward to the next episode and possibly a lot more things to freak out over!

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griffithbgrippin · 5 years

Link

Pewdiebot: Why do people keep talking to me?

Cleverbot: Because I feel like it.

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: Wait,, there are THOUSANDS of people talking to you.

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Cleverbot: *blushes more*.

#Pewdiebot #x #Cleverbot

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