#i mean i know there's a whole lotta real word issues attached to it but

[areyoudoingthis]

why is the only conversation fandom has about sex always about who tops and who bottoms. i don't care what side you land on why is everyone so obsessed with this

[not-close-to-straight]

Lost and Found (Eight)

Slight TW for mentions of 40′s era h*mophobia and Tony’s thanks-to-Howard internalized h*mophobia but it’s over quick. 

MASTERLIST HERE

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“I think there’s an issue with connectivity.” Tony chewed on the end of a pen as he watched James go through a series of repetitive motions with the prosthetic arm. “Which makes no sense at all, because obviously I did everything correct. Are you sure you’re doing that right?” 

“Touchin’ the tips of my fingers together?” James raised his eyebrows and tried to touch the ring finger of the metal limb together with the thumb, gritting his teeth in frustration when the joints hitched and froze. “Yeah Tony, pretty sure I remember how to move my hand.” 

“Okay fine, maybe I screwed up somewhere.” Tony huffed out a breath, blowing messy hair off his forehead. “Hold your breath, this will probably feel weird.” 

The twist and pop of the arm disconnecting certainly did feel weird, the tug and strain at the plates in James’s chest when his shoulder weighed heavy for just a moment and then lightened in the next alien and uncomfortable. He flinched more from the awkward noise than from any actual pain though, grimaced away from a flash of nightmare that felt like being strapped down and hurt, and when Tony paused to ask, “Alright?” he simply nodded. 

Sure. He was fine. 

“This will only take a few minutes, hang tight.” Tony carried the arm back to another table and James reached up to feel gingerly along his shoulder, tracing the scars from the hard stump over to his collarbone. 

Seeing himself reflected in the large mirror tilted above the chair was… well it was worse than James thought it would be. Tony had suggested that seeing what was happening might make the process a little easier but all James could see was damage, ruined skin and twisted muscles and a deathly pale pallor the sun never seemed to touch. 

It was awful. He was awful and the situation was made all the worse for the way Tony was distant today, this morning, last night and every night since James had blundered into the not-kiss at the Expo. 

The surprisingly easy laughter from just last week was gone, the quick smiles and nearly shared thoughts non existent. Tony wasn’t being cold, but he was stiff. He wasn’t avoiding spending time together, but movie nights happened with either man sat on the opposite side of the couch now, and attaching the new prosthetic arm was the closest Tony had been to James in days. 

Everything was awful and James didn’t know how to fix it, didn’t know if Tony wanted to try and fix it, or if there was even something to try and fix--

--James was right back to not knowing anything at all except his name. 

My name is James and he wanted to know so much more than that.

Awful. 

“You asked if I watch the news.” he tried to break the silence when he just couldn’t take it anymore. “The other day, I mean. A few days ago. Before the Expo. You asked if I ever saw you on the news?” 

“Yeah.” Tony looked up only briefly and went back to fine tuning the input of the arm.  

“Sometimes the uh-- the counselor that came to the shelter would sit and watch with me.” James cleared his throat, discouraged by the lack of response.  “I couldn’t ever watch the news, it about killed me to see some of that stuff but Sam said most of our memories are locked into references and not-- not concrete ideas. So maybe TV would help bring some of them around.” 

“Sam Wilson.” Tony stated. “Pep’s mentioned him a few times, says he does good work. Did watching TV help with your memories.” 

“No.” James dug his fingers into his thigh to combat the flush of failure at the back of his neck. “No it never did. Only confused me. Would watch game shows or documentaries and it wouldn’t be right. The name of countries, you know? I would see a map or something and think I knew it, then my answer would be wrong.” 

Tony cocked his head, the first real sign of interest he’d shown all day. “Huh. Can you give me an example?” 

“Well there’s--” James hesitated, searching his memory for one that had stood out with Sam. “--There’s a whole lotta places where the Soviet Union used to be. Names I don’t know and cities that used to be called something else.” 

“Soviet Union.” Tony readjusted one more thing on the arm, then turned to face James fully. “What did Sam say about that? Anything?” 

“He told me it could be something as easy as me havin’ watched a history movie or reading a book before my accident and those are the names that stuck with me afterwards.” James’s heart picked up when Tony smiled a little. Was it possible to miss a smile after a few days? “That never sounded right to me, though.” 

“The Soviet Union collapsed in December of 1991.” Tony folded his arms and leaned back against the table. “I remember that entire month vividly. If you know for certain you remember it being the U.S.S.R, then you were at least high school age studying geography before it fell. Interesting.” 

James wasn’t following Tony’s thought process at all but he was so happy the beautiful genius was talking to him again, he didn’t even care. “Why is that interesting?” 

“Based on that fact alone, I’d suggest you were pushing thirty which means we could narrow down search parameters and maybe get a better lead on who you are.” Tony explained, his smile growing just a little bit more. “There’s other ways to figure it out too, but nothing easy or very concrete.” 

James made a ‘go on’ motion and Tony scratched through his goatee as he thought it out. 

“Well, I could run some tests if you’d like, but seeing as how we’re only barely managing getting the arm on in a La-Z-boy recliner cos the other chair upset you, I bet you don’t want me poking and prodding with needles and electrodes. Totally fine by the way.” he waved off James’s objection. “I don’t like it either. It’s fine. No tests, we don’t need to do that.” 

“The easiest way to find you in the system is fingerprints.” he continued. “But I ran your fingerprints the first time you came through the lab as a precaution-- don’t look like that, I do it to everyone-- and yours aren’t in the system, or at least not anything recognizable. Not a big deal, fingerprinting tech is still fairly new, it wasn’t an electronic database till the 1980’s and AFIS wasn’t halfway usable till about 2000. There’s a thousand reasons why you wouldn’t be in there, even with your military service.” 

“Fingerprints.” James looked down at his hand curiously. “What else?”

“We could always do DNA testing, but I wouldn’t do it without your permission. I know some people that track you down quick but DNA testing always seems a little… invasive.” Tony tapped at the reactor casing a few times. “I’m not a fan of anything invasive. And you know, finding results would hinge solely on the idea that your DNA is already registered somewhere and if your fingerprints don’t come up…” 

He let the sentence trail and shrugged. “If you really want a definitive answer of who you are beyond a guess at your age based on when the Soviet fell, I’m happy to try. There isn’t a whole lot I can’t find out once I start getting nosy, but I figured if you wanted to know, you’d ask.” 

Tony waited a beat, “Do you want to know?” 

No. 

I don’t know. 

What sort of man dreams the things I do? 

“I’m okay with just James for now.” is what James said instead of everything else burning on his tongue. “Maybe the memories will come back on their own.” 

Tony nodded absentmindedly and turned back to the prosthesis, so James took his slightly raw feelings and tried to distract himself by picking up a nearby photo book. All the what-if’s of who he had been were colliding with all the what if’s from the Expo and circling round in his mind, round and round until he actually felt a little nauseous, so he cleared his throat and forced the thoughts away and flipped idly through the photos. 

The pictures were at least twenty years old, snap shot after snap shot of a young Tony draped all over a younger James Rhodes, laughing hysterically at a joke between them, clearly wearing each other’s clothes and other costume pieces, a picture of Tony dead asleep on thick text books while Rhodey drew various genitalia on his face in marker. 

Some of the photos were dated and placed at MIT, others were at what looked like the Colonel’s home, his family scattered in the background of their antics. Only one was a formal picture, Tony and Rhodey in fit suits standing solemn at the top of the stairs but in the very next frame the boys were wrestling and pulling at each others hair and then in a third picture mid-tumble down the stairs while a woman who looked remarkably like Tony threw her hands up in clear exasperation. 

It was years of friendship, years of happiness and pranks and love and James found himself smiling as young Tony’s hair got higher and fluffier style changes, the clothes got more and more ridiculous, even the cap and gown graduation picture complete with fake mustaches and crossed eyes for the portrait. 

There were pictures of vacation-- Tony in hilariously printed swim trunks, a floaty around his waist and over sized goggles on his face, Tony tripping over the flippers and face planting into the pool, Tony looking slightly drowned rat-ish as he struggled back onto dry land--

“Wow.” James didn’t mean to say anything out loud but the next picture of Colonel Rhodes didn’t match the silly theme of the book at all. It was an artistic shot, all pretty angles and purposeful shadows, a whole lot of skin and muscles on display and while it wasn’t obvious if Rhodey was actually sleeping or just posing, it was clearly obvious that whoever took the picture had had only one thought in mind. 

Sexy. 

“Didn’t realize the Colonel was so good lookin’.” He hadn’t meant to say that out loud either and after the Expo, James should have made a better effort to not blurt things out in front of Tony, but it was too late now, the words were out there and Tony was staring at him in surprise. 

“What’d you say?” 

“The-- the Colonel.” James put the book down and swallowed, looking away from it and from Tony. “He’s damn good looking. You and he ah-- you’re real close?” 

“Rhodey is my best friend, and yes he’s a total hottie.” Tony carried the re-adjusted arm back to James and set it aside to pick up the book too, flipping through the pictures and chuckling when he got to the shirtless one. “Oh man, he hates this picture. I tried for days to convince him to submit a photo to some ‘hotties of spring break’ calendar and he refused, so I got him blasted on tequila and then took the shot while he was passed out snoring.” 

“That--” James hesitated. “That seems creepy, Tony.” 

“Yeah, in retrospect, one of the creepiest things ever but eh, what’s a little creep-on between besties?” Tony’s laugh was fond and maybe even a little melancholy as he set the book down again. “I labeled the picture as ‘Honeybear in the Near Nude’ and I really thought he was gonna kill me. Really did. Actually feared for my life the rest of that semester.” 

“...That was the last spring break we had together before graduation.” Tony added after a minute. “Maybe the best week of my life.” 

“Did he win--” Bucky stopped when an alarm chimed somewhere in the lab, and the first few lines of Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy started playing. “-- I know this song. What is this?” 

“The Andrews Sisters.” Tony snapped his fingers and the music turned up a few notches. “How do you know it?” 

“How do you know it?” James returned, his mind spinning with lyrics he knew and a beat he knew and holy shit he’d definitely danced to this before, suddenly James knew he loved dancing. 

“It was my Auntie Peggy’s favorite song.” Tony took one of those nasty smoothies from Dum-E. “She taught me to dance to this kind of music and I set it as my alarm because it’s such an unusual sound these days that I couldn’t ever ignore it.” 

“I know this song.” James said again, and it was incredible to know something beyond how much pressure it took to snap a man’s collarbone and whether or not the walls were thick enough to stop a bullet. “I love this song.” 

“I don’t know if I love it-- hold still, please.” Tony set the prosthesis up to James’s shoulder and notched it in with a few clicks. “--but it makes me think of Peggy, which makes me happy and means that I’m not as cranky when I have to drink this green stuff. How does the arm feel?” 

“Bout the same as last time.” James mouthed along with a few of the lines as the song played in the background. “Should I do the same sorta stuff to check it out?” 

“Yeah, touch your thumb to each finger and flex your wrist as you do.” Tony instructed around a mouthful of smoothie. “If we can get past that part this time around we’ll move on to something else.” 

“Sure.” James went through each motion as Tony directed, touching his finger tips together and rotating his wrist, unable to help a smile as the left hand responded perfectly to his every thought. “Feel great, Tony. This is amazing.” 

“Yeah yeah, I know.” Tony’s dark eyes were glowing with excitement, and James’s concentration faltered when Tony leaned in even closer and ran his hand up the metal limb. “All the things I’ve built, and bionic man never made it to my list. I can’t believe what I was missing out on.”

Tony tried to close his hand around the bicep of the left arm and scrunched his nose in delight when his fingers didn’t come anywhere even remotely close to touching. “Alright, you can’t actually pop the knuckles on this hand but make the motion anyway, holding each finger down with your thumb like you’re trying to crack the joint. It’s a weird gesture and not one that everyone can do but it will test the dexterity of the prosthesis as well as prove how well it connects to your mind.” 

James hummed along to the music as he followed the easy instruction, laughing in quiet disbelief when the new arm did everything he wanted. 

I have two hands again. 

I’m whole again. 

I’m me again.

“All that looks good, so what we’re going to do now is--” 

“Dance with me.” James interrupted and Tony stopped, mouth open. “C’mon there’s all sortsa things we can do to test this thing out but dancing would take care of most of them, right?” he glanced up at the speakers and then back down at Tony. “I love this song, Tony. Dance with me.” 

“You want to dance with me?” Tony’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, expression shuttering just like it had at the Expo. “James, I don’t think--” 

“I’ll go easy on you.” James tried for coaxing, for teasing, for anything besides fear of another rejection. He might not know a whole lot of anything these days but he knew this song and he knew he really really wanted another chance at whatever had almost happened at the Expo, and damn it Tony’s smile was so pretty he almost couldn’t stand it. 

He felt like him all the sudden, two hands and an easy smile and even though the sight of metal gleaming along his left side triggered warning bells somewhere deep in his subconscious, James ignored them for the sake of holding out his hand and curling his fingers hopefully. “Dance with me Tony.” 

Spend time with me when I feel human. 

“Promise not to step on your toes?” he offered almost desperately now-- please please see me as me, I’m so close to me right now-- but his heart sank when Tony stuttered, “Uh James listen. About-- about the Expo and when we almost--I mean, that’s something we should talk about, right? Before you suggest anything like dancing?” 

“Never mind.” This time it was James pulled away, who cleared his throat and blanked his expression and let his words get clipped and a little frosty, unease and insecurity warring with a little bit of self loathing for being so fucking dumb to try and fail again. “Forget I asked.” 

“No wait--” 

“Tony, I don’t really want to hear all the reasons why you didn’t want to kiss me.” James could almost feel himself fading away, disappearing back behind the gates in his mind as the warning bells about the metal arm started to get loud again. “Or all the ways I was misreading everything I thought I saw. Guess I’m more outta practice with this than I thought I was and I don’t want you saying yes cos you feel bad for me or anything, just leave it be.” 

Silence, and James cleared his throat, tried not to let the misery and feeling of failure seep too far into his voice. “What else do I need to do to test this thing out?” 

“No, don’t change the subject, we should talk about this.” Tony scrubbed his hand over his mouth and closed his eyes. “Fuck me, I’m bad at this but I’ve been working on talking things out and trying to say what I mean instead of being sarcastic all the time so here we go. James, about what happened at the Expo--” 

“Tony don’t.” 

“--Do you think Rhodey is hot or not?” Tony burst out and James’s mouth fell open. “Do you?” 

“...He’s a good lookin’ fella, sure.” 

“Okay.” Tony nodded a few times. “Okay, because I think he’s hot too but it’s taken me twenty five years to be able to say that out loud. You know what I mean?” 

“I--” James hesitated. “No. Sorry. I don’t know what you mean.”  

“It means I’ve been pretending for twenty five years that I don’t notice anything remotely attractive about Rhodey and this is the first time in my life I’m not lying about it.” Tony’s eyes were wide, a streak of red painted high on his cheeks. “My Dad was flat out against anything like that and I don’t know if my Ma knew or not, but it’s been twenty five years and I’m just now comfortable saying it.” 

“...okay?” 

“And then you went and almost kissed me at the Expo and it all sort of--” Tony made a crazy motion with his hands. “-- I didn’t handle it very well and I’m sorry, but it wasn’t you, it was me and my Dad’s voice right here--” a finger to his temple. “--saying a whole lot of things. You get it?” 

James wet his lips and clenched his fists and Tony kept staring, kept hoping James understood even a little bit. 

“Twenty five years.” he repeated, chewing at the inside of his cheek and pressing his palm to the reactor to ease the anxious balling up inside. “And it sucks that I made it to over forty before I managed to stop listening to all that crap about who I am and who I’m supposed to be attracted to, but it is what it is. I promise you’re not reading anything wrong on my end, but I’ve never been brave enough to do this before so I gotta know-- am I reading it all wrong on your end?” 

And after a quiet, shaky breath, “Do you hear all that shit in your head saying this is wrong too, or is it just me that’s a ball of goddamn conflicted?” 

“Goddamn conflicted.” James repeated, and his mind went back who knows how many years ago to all the things he used to hear when he tried to hide, when he went to church in secret and tried to confess, when he gave in a few times and quit pretending to be just like the other fellas. 

C’mon now, you know better than to think like that. We like dames, don’t we? Stop starin’. 

The Good Book wholly condemns those who engage in perversion, James. Ask for forgiveness and move on from such sin. 

Look, what we do here at night is one thing, but don’t go talkin’ bout it in the day time, I’m not a queer, you just got a pretty mouth. 

Stay away from that side of town, don’t you know that’s where the fags go?

Tony was asking for understanding and for another chance, for forgiveness because of his reaction and offering an explanation that sounded an awful lot like what James heard in his head every time he thought about how beautiful Tony was.

“I’m so bad at this.” 

James must have been quiet too long, because Tony muttered a curse and sat back in his own chair. “Shit. I am so damn bad at this. You know what, maybe we should call it a day and try again tomorrow, I’m clearly not up to dancing or working or putting together sentences or making any fucking sense so--” 

“Tony.” James made up his mind and held out his hand again, eyes hopeful and voice as soft as he could make it. “I love this song. Dance with me?” 

“Okay.” Tony’s fingers shook just a little as he placed them in James’s palm. “I love this song too.” 

*****************

*****************

Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy wasn’t a slow song by any means, and Tony was several years past his last dance lesson with Peggy, but after a few mis steps and playful arguments about who exactly was going to lead, James finally flexed his left arm and lifted Tony right off the ground to announce, “If you can lift me up, you’re welcome to lead, Tony.” and Tony laughed in surprise and kept right on laughing as JARVIS started the song over and James took him out between the desks for a dance. 

“You’re doing it wrong.” James chuckled and dragged Tony forward into the right steps, left hand secure at Tony’s hip and right hand clasped around Tony’s fingers lightly. “Come on, it’s swing not a waltz. Loosen up for me.” 

“You don’t remember your own last name but somehow you remember how to swing dance?” Tony was out of breath already, but game to try and keep up step for step, easing his body towards pliant so James could lead them through the familiar patterns. “How’d you get so good at this anyway?” 

“I know this song.” James repeated, concentrating on the give of Tony’s waist soft beneath the hard fingers and not on the headache coming along with thoughts of dancing and maybe even watching the Andrews sisters up on stage as they sang the song which-- that didn’t make sense because the song was seventy something years old at this point wasn’t it? No way he saw them perform. 

“I just know it.” he decided, and then teasing, “Or maybe I’m just a better dancer than you.” 

“I could ballroom dance your socks off.” Tony announced, and barked a startled laugh when James spun him out into a quick twirl. “I didn’t take six years of lessons with Madame Laurent for nothing. Swing dancing just isn’t exactly my forte.” 

“Well next time I give you a lesson, make sure you’re wearin’ a twirly skirt so I can get ya above my head and take a peek, huh?” James grinned, and there his voice went slipping soft and flirty and so damn Brooklyn Tony stumbled and nearly fell when his heart jolted in his chest. 

Twenty five years it took to even admit out loud that Rhodey was a damn hottie and now Tony was faced with a soldier right out of his musical-themed day dreams who could dance and smile and talked like all his favorite characters from movies he’d watched enough times to ruin the tapes. 

Twenty five years to admit something as dumb as his best friend being attractive and now James was laughing with him and teasing and the mis-step at the Expo seemed ages ago, almost impossible with the way the soldier’s pale eyes were lit up right now and the way James’s fingers held just a little tighter at Tony’s waist and pulled him in close through a turn and ohhhh their bodies brushed together and Tony closed his eyes when a bolt of heat went straight to his core. 

Was he so touch starved and miserably horny that a silly dance to his Auntie’s ancient music was going to get him hard? 

Another turn and another touch and James’s hand slipped lower along Tony’s waist and he nearly passed out. 

Yep. Yep he really was that touch starved and miserably horny. 

Except not really miserable. Tony was having the most fun in the world dodging lab tables and chairs as James got more confident with his steps and JARVIS kept the song playing around them. A few banged ankles and stepped on toes were worth feeling the heat pouring off James’s chest, the steel like security of the left arm contrasted with the drugging warmth of the right hand when James cupped the back of Tony’s head to hold him steady through a quick turn and two step. 

The music went on, the dance got easier, and then their legs tangled almost to the point of catastrophe and James caught Tony laughing as they crashed together--

--and Tony bit his tongue to quiet a moan when he felt James’s body reacting against his own. 

“J-James?” 

“Tony.” This time James knew he wasn’t reading anything wrong, this time he wasn’t going to second guess himself and this time Tony was definitely leaning in and standing on his toes--

“Shit!” James jerked away at the last second, jerked away and recoiled when everything seized along his left side and lit up painful, sparks popping behind his eyes. “Ow! Tony help!” 

“Damn it, come here and sit down so I can get it off.” Moment temporarily stalled, Tony slid right back into inventor mode and pushed James down onto the closest chair so he could get to work disconnecting the new arm. “I don’t know what’s going on with this thing, I really thought I could just connect it to your shoulder but I might have to go a little deeper into your chest to fix it, maybe even do something with adjustable plates since this piece doesn’t really move, then everything could re calibrate individually as needed….” 

Tony trailed off into mumbling as James lay back and tried to breathe through the pain shooting across his chest. Everything on his left side felt like it was on fire, like it used to those first few months after waking up beneath that bridge, phantom weight dragging his shoulder down and the feeling of needles in his skin. 

It hurt and he growled a rough curse when Tony pushed at his shoulder experimentally. 

“Sorry.” Tony said immediately. “Sorry about that. I can fix this, I definitely can. JARVIS run some simulations on using individual pieces instead of one solid on like the armor-- the arm. Not long lines like muscles but horizontal plates instead. A hundred small calculations to adjust as he moves, not three or four major ones.” 

“Yes sir.” 

“One two three, off.” Tony pulled the arm off and hurried it back to the fabrication station so JARVIS could take the appropriate scans and start working on the changes. “Okay, you still with me? James?” 

A bottle of water pressed into James’s hand, and Tony hesitated before resting his palms on James’s thighs. “Feeling okay?” 

“Feeling like shit for ruining our dance.” James grit out, honest because there was no reason to lie to Tony, no reason to hide his disappointment when he knew Tony had been having just as much as him. “Sorry about that.” 

“Rescheduled doesn’t mean ruined.” Tony said the words lightly but his heart was in his throat, waiting to see if James would acknowledge the clear invitation. “Right?” 

“Right.” The corner of James’s mouth crooked up into a smile. “Rescheduled.” 

A smile meant good things, the invitation to another dance meant lots of very good things so Tony gathered every bit of his courage, every bit of determination he had about completing his bucket list, all the hope he’d gotten every time James smiled at him or flirted a little and all the butterflies in his stomach from their dance and said softly, so softly,--

“James, I-- I’d like to take you to bed.” 

And James’s eyes opened wide and incredulous, “...what?!” 

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[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #137

Once upon a time, there was a girl. An unpopular girl. That nobody knew, nobody cared. She strived to be popular. To have dozens of friends and live the life of a socially fulfilled high school girl. After much time and effort, she had finally succeeded in her goal. She got friends. She got popular. She became normal.

But it wasn’t everything she hoped it would be.

And so Golden Week came around. She made plans with her new friends. And the popular girl can’t help but wonder...

“Is this really what I want?”

Chapter 137: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Prepare for Golden Week 

Okada: “Is my forehead that big?”

Katou: I wonder if Kuroki-san is doing anything after this...?

Tomoko: “Man, I’m tired.” 

Komiyama: [ Exactly what it says. ]

Y'all know the drill by now. Tomoko expects the least, ends up getting the most.

Katou is honestly a very difficult character to get right in this kind of manga. For a series as excruciatingly real as this, a beautiful, popular girl like Katou could easily come off as “unrealistic” or an “otaku’s fantasy” with the way she reaches out to Tomoko. But Nico Tanigawa manages to keep Katou within the realm of believability, and I think it’s because she treats everyone with motherly kindness. It’s her natural instinct, so it doesn’t seem forced in the slightest.

Yeah, buzz off, Kiyota! You’ve already exceeded this manga’s male quota for the next ten chapters.

It sure is swell that Tomoko’s friendship with Yuri has grown enough that even people outside of the loop can see how joined-at-the-hip they’ve become.

I’m getting flashbacks of the KBBQ dinner right now. Someone invites Tomoko, she invites Yuri, Yuri gives a double negative response, etc. What gal pals.

Again, more KBBQ flashbacks, only with a twist. At the party, Yuri took the affected role, stating that her decision to go would be based on whether Tomoko would. But now, the roles have switched with Yuri suggesting that Tomoko wouldn’t go if she wasn’t there with her. I don’t like where this is going...

Mako is totally the type to keep track of how she divides the time between her friends, always balancing a bail with a hangout. Such are the difficulties of being the “nucleus” friend.

For better or worse, Yuri‘s been taking Mako’s “rejections” in stride lately. Better, because that means she’s no longer unhealthily dependent on her best friend. Worse, because that could means she projected her attachment issues onto Tomoko and Yoshida. Have her insecurities been dissolved, or have they just been spread wider across their little quartet?

Mako and Yoshida talking when the others aren’t around is total friendship-baiting and I’m behind it 100%.

The ultimate tug-of-war between a mom who knows their daughter’s faults and a daughter who’s too stubborn to heed her mother’s concerns. 

Sorry, Yuri dear, but at that, I’mma callin’ shenanigans. 

It should be fairly obvious by now that Yuri is becoming dangerously co-dependent on her relationship with Tomoko. It’s not so much that Tomoko needs Yuri with her, but that Yuri needs to feel that she’s invaluable to Tomoko so that she herself can be validated. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that can only get worse since Tomoko and Yuri are going in opposite directions, with the former becoming more self-assured, and the latter becoming more reliant. 

Katou rolling her sleeves up inexplicably raises her “mom” appeal three-fold.

For those who don’t know, this the same joke that happened when Tomoko peeked at Ucchi during the sports festival. Only eating rice is suggestive of just having done something exhausting, usually perverted in nature. Oh, that Nemo.

Still, it’s telling that Nemo actually made that joke and got shot down by Tomoko right in front of the others. Their bantering is usually kept just between them, but doing it within earshot could lead to some pretty tense situations if the others jump in.

That’s quite the unique face Yuri’s making. Not exactly anger or resentment, but there’s something negative about her expression. My best guess is exasperation, but low-key, as only Yuri could. And I hate to say it, but it’s pretty hypocritical of Yuri to get all bent out of shape about Katou’s smothering, when she herself came just to “support” Tomoko.

This might seem innocuous at first, it really speaks to Yuri’s non-indulgent behavior when receiving attention from others, as is very common of introverts. Just like how Tomoko chose something moderate when Okada treated her.

The whole exchange here is incredibly awkward, but it comes off more sincerely than it is cringeworthy. The kind of awkward that makes you facepalm is the result of knowing that the whole thing could’ve been avoided, or at least done better. Okada’s apology and Yuri’s dismissive forgiveness really couldn’t be handled differently, so while there’s this unspoken barrier between them, we can get behind it because you can tell Okada and Yuri are doing their best to clear the air.

Food porn.

Is it embarrassing? Yes. Is Tomoko going to do anything about it? Nah, she’s going to milk Katou’s motherliness for all she’s worth.

And let’s be real-Can you really blame her?

This whole “normie” business didn’t make a whole lotta sense to me when I first read it, but by comparing it to another label used in the West, I was able to make a connection.

Back in the day, the word “nerd” was a derogatory term, used to insult people who were into comics, video games, anime, etc. But by the turn of the last decade or so, this idea of a nerd became antiquated when people realized that the things that nerds were once ridiculed for were actually entertaining in their own right. The standard of being a nerd dropped to the point where mildly enjoying pop culture was enough to make you a nerd. And thus, when everyone became a nerd, nobody was. And the nerd became an identity that only the most hardcore of nerds could adopt.

I never realized until now just how much social stock Tomoko has put into having a boyfriend. You’d think that after her perceptions of the “normies” evolved, she’d understand that having a boyfriend or having a romantic relationship, in general, isn’t as valuable as society makes it out to be.

Now the whole “hanging out at the cafe” thing being normie...maybe.

Quickly researches the reputation of Aoyama Academy.

Oh. So like, Stanford or Princeton. Dream on, Tomoko.

Dat tiny smile on Yuri is too precious.

One thing that I’ve always wanted to see more of is Tomoko’s sense of humor at work. She doesn’t do it often, but the few times when she casually jokes around are met with positive reception, most notably with Yuri. While the readers are more used to Tomoko’s raunchy, crude humor, Tomoko can also play up the “I’m an idiot”-type humor. And it works especially with Yuri and Nemo, who can tell when she’s half-bullshitting them. 

A rare moment of genuine playfulness between Tomoko and Nemo.

Of course, because Tomoko actually is an idiot at times, it can be hard to tell when she being actually stupid, or being fake-stupid for the laughs.

Mama Katou doesn’t know this yet, so naturally, she has to protect her daughter from the mean bullies. Her dialogue here could easily come off as confrontational if it were spoken by anyone else, but as we’ve seen before, Katou is more of the “quiet rage” kind of girl.

Yeah, I saw the video of Cristiano Ronaldo defending the Japanese boy from the audience. Referential humor tends to be hit-or-miss, depending on whether the joke is sustainable without it. In this case, it’s the kind that can be lost in a few years time. So despite being a piece of common entertainment knowledge in Japan, once in while for the series is just enough to keep it fresh. 

I must admit, I used to think that Katou was a replacement character for Imae after she left. But now that we’ve had time to get to know her, I see that that’s not really the case at all.

Sure, Katou is caring and sweet like Imae, but what sets Katou apart from her besides her “mommy-ness” is her naivety. Katou has all the tenderness and effort of a guardian, but she lacks the sensibility...somewhat. But that bit of cluelessness is essential to rounding out her character, enough so that even this stylish riajuu can play the outcast in times like this.

Damn, girl. It’s one thing to view Tomoko as a good person. It’s another thing to see her as some societal paragon. Now I’m kind of hoping she doesn’t get corrupted by the Tomoko virus.  

Even though this is being played for laughs, it does key into an actual strength of Tomoko’s that none of the others have. That being, her extreme candidness. Tomoko, frankly, sucks at pretending to be someone she isn’t, but is incredibly impressionable when she's her unrestrained self. Yes, there’s a time and place for that kind of thing, but sometimes, an incestual eroge is exactly what you need to get your point across.

Precious Lil’ Bean and Jealous Lil’ Bean. Take your pick. 

Yeah, yeah, Nemo getting in Tomoko’s face is nothing new. However, what is new is how Nemo dishes it out and how Tomoko takes it. Nemo usually glowers over the girl as if to assert dominance, but she’ll occasionally crouch down, like a cheetah ready to pounce. Tomoko always cowers a bit during Nemo’s provocations, shrinking down with caution. But here, Tomoko doesn’t waver. She stays upright, even looking down at Nemo for once despite being obviously flustered. Stand your ground, Tomoko. Stand. Your. Ground.

Low-key bitching followed by buddy-buddy invitation equals the politics of friendships.

Sweetie, the girl can’t even bother to use your own name. What do you think?

Normally, I’m not fond of this kind of storytelling where the author tacks on additional, never-before-seen events to a previously seen memory just to add plot tension. The only reason I let this slide is because, as is soon revealed, this memory is more for Yuri’s characterization than for story direction. Plus, it’s interesting to compare how close they are now as opposed to back then. You win this time, Nico Tanigawa.

Taking the easy route even in college, eh, Tomoko? I expect nothing less from you.

Taking the easy route even in college, eh, Yuri? I also expect nothing less from you.

Lazy Sisters Unite!

Promised, my ass.

You’re killing me, Yuri, making me call shenanigans on you twice in one chapter. But yes, twisting your friend’s words into a promise just to suit your needs, and then playing the victim card when said friend doesn’t keep their “promise” is a serious friendship offense. As much as we will all want to Yuri have beautiful, lovely friendships with these girls, it suddenly makes a whole lot of sense why Yuri didn’t have these friendships in the first place. My emotional spectrum is out of whack right now, unable to determine whether Yuri’s behavior is a regression in character or a reconstruction of one.

Bless Mako and her patience.

Oh god, Nemo’s Yandere Stare is spreading.

Hmm, the extra text on Yuri’s date is ripe for some overanalyzing. My first instinct is to say that writing more of a description is indicative of Tomoko actually caring more about spending time with Yuri than she does with Nemo and Katou. But then again, it could just very well be that Tomoko didn’t want to be redundant and write the same thing over three times. 

Whatever the reason, at least she managed to write out Yuri’s last name. I might have died if she just drew a face with pigtails. 

This has always been one Tomoko’s key developments, realizing that being a normie or popular doesn’t give you a pass in life. Everyone has their own shit to deal with no matter how (un)popular you are, and now that Tomoko has gotten a taste of that, the next step for Tomoko’s personal journey could be one of self-actualization: 

Stay where you are and possibly lose your roots, or go back to where you came from and potentially lose what you gained?

Exact-a-mundo. A lot of people have criticized this manga for turning Tomoko into a normie and betraying who she was. But in my opinion, Tomoko is not a normie. Such a self-deprecating label is more defined by one’s personality rather than their social network. Tomoko knows a lot of normies, but until she stylizes up her hair, disregards her hobbies and pulls a Nemo, she’ll always be our lovable mojyo.

On a final note, it’s easy to see Tomoko as the dense protagonist of harem manga right now, and yet, these punchlines regarding her “pursuits” seem to be much more effective if you look at Tomoko’s “harem” as just platonic and devoid of romantic subtext (whether or not it’s actually doing that is another story). Perhaps it’s because while Tomoko is oblivious to everyone’s jealousy, she actually has a great deal of agency that is not often seen in harem protags. The girls are so responsive to Tomoko’s actions, and thus, the emotional core of the Tomoko’s harem actually carries some well-earned weight. 

Can we have more manga with a strong, platonic harem, please?