#i mean currently i cover up my worst scars anytime i go out so its not like i couldnt just continue to do that

[wetslug]

i go in n out on wanting a tattoo scar coverup but im worried itll actually accentuate the scars MORE and draw the eye to the area (cuz duh theres a tattoo there) and thus ill have spent hundreds of dollars and come out worse

[obx-snippets]

Chapter 2 ∫ ≈ Ocean’s Siren at the Kegger ≈

Summary: Reina goes to her first kegger in the obx and it’s a lot more than she bargained for.

Warning: Cursing, panic attack, mentions of aquaphobia, drowning.                  S L O W B U R N

Word count: 3.2k

Pairing: JJ Maybank x female!oc

Masterlist

a/n: thank you to those who are showing interest in the series so far! Hope you stick around till the end!  

After long-wearing hours of searching for a suitable outfit, Reina gave herself a pep-talk in the mirror as she sat on the floor, staring deep within herself. If it weren't for Mina and Chris being at work so late, they would diagnose her to be clinically insane.

"It's a party, quit being a pussy."

"It's near water, why the hell would you even go?"

"I mean....you were invited, so it's sort of rude if you don't."

"I don't even drink anymore, so I could bring my own Gatorade."

"Why would you say 'yeah, I know where the boneyard is.' Fucking dumbass, you just moved here yesterday."

"Where are my pills?"

The setting sun was seated on an orange and pink horizon that it claimed as its throne. The breeze carried the ocean's salty scent in the air, tousling Reina's hair that she fought to keep tucked behind her ear. Her flip flops slapped against the hard cement, moving her bike by her side, not yet having the courage to step in the sand as she walked alongside the beach. She could hear the faint sound of pounding music, and as she neared the supposed kegger, the hollering a cheering of teens became clear as day. The lights of burning torches danced across her brown as she stopped just at the beach's edge, her toes only inches from the golden sand. A familiar sensation bloomed in her stomach like a flower that was hidden from the sun for too long. Excitement? Thrill?

A feeling that she hasn't experienced since that night. There was a smaller crowd of teens surrounding a small area of a particular part of the beach, and Reina had to squint her eyes to make out John B holding up a blonde boy by his ankles as he performed the infamous game, the keg stand. Pride tugged at her heart, knowing her past self would have stood up to the challenge of lasting longer. But she stayed put, hugging her body over the soft material of her white oversized sweater that covered a portion of her blue tennis skirt.

Her jaw instantly clenched, and eyes screwed shut upon hearing the water so close. The waves were mocking, tormenting enough to make her breathing ragged and uneven.

A gleeful cheer brought Reina to open her eyes to see John B patting his blonde friend on the back after he successfully lasted thirty seconds on the keg stand. Cheap beer dripped down his contoured chin, his laugh traveling to where Reina stood. She guessed he was one of the other boys in John B's van but wasn't sure what his name was.

Was he Pope or JJ?

His cerulean eyes shimmered under the torch lights, his toothy grin surprisingly contagious. Reina hadn't even noticed she was smiling until a pair of blue eyes latched onto hers, heat quickly radiating up her ivory cheeks. Her lips parted as if to say something but realized how far he was and quickly closed her mouth. It seemed the blonde surfer discerned what she attempted and opted to pass her a nod before stalking away with his arm draped over John B's shoulder.

Reina couldn't comprehend what she felt once she made eye contact with the boy. His ocean eyes. His handsome, chiseled features. That toothy smile that spread to her own lips. That gray muscle tee that made her mind wander. Her bottom lip was tucked between her teeth as she watched Kiara punch another boy on the arm for tossing his red solo cup on the sand.

The one who ordered the sprite.

John B was leaning forward as he sat on a fallen tree trunk, his finger prodding the blonde's side before gesturing toward a gorgeous blonde girl dancing provocatively in a small crowd. It seemed like she was the bait for the night, but Reina wasn't impressed.

"Hot, isn't he?"

Reina let a yelp slip her lip as she jolted away from the smirking girl standing next to her. She was casually drinking her beer; her dyed hair pulled up into a bun with bobby pins holding back stray hairs. She had seen her at the Wreck along with the other rowdy teenagers that occupied too much of her time for just a couple of drinks.

"W-what?" Reina cleared her throat, playing dumb as she wrung her hands to let her sweater's sleeves cover her hands.

The girl glanced at her from the corner of her dark hazel eyes as she gave her a pointed look. "The one you were ogling is JJ." she stated, pointing one of her fingers that held her red solo cup toward the blonde who was currently staying still so Kiara could pluck something out of his eye. "The sweetheart who ordered the sprite is Pope, and you met the rest--oh, and I'm Harlow. Westwick."

Harlow held out a hand, and Reina glanced down at her black painted fingers before shaking it gently.

“Reina Lynch.”

Harlow made a face, “Reina. I like it.”

Reina was surprised when she felt a smile pull at the corner of her mouth. She looked back up at Harlow, a kind expression of her own on her face.

“Thanks,” she replied.

Harlow took a large gulp of her drink, blinking wildly when some of it splashed into her eye, “So,” she started, clearing her throat, “how long you been in the OBX?”

Reina let out a sigh, carding her hand through her hair before tugging her sleeve back over her hand, “not long,” she answered, “definitely still adjusting.”

Harlow nodded her head, shivering from a gust of wind before brushing some of her baby hairs from her eyes, “Yeah, it takes a while,” Harlow laughed, “where are you from?“

“Cali.”

Harlow gaped quickly with a laugh, “Oooh! California, I like it. That’s totally rad, dude.”

Reina let out a laugh, a real laugh. “Nobody talks like that in California, you know?”

Harlow’s pink lips parted, ready to reply to her when the song switched, causing a gasp to slip from her mouth, “I love this song!” she exclaimed, turning in small circles to find a place to set her cup down, “dance with me!”

Reina clammed up immediately, the smile slipping from her face as her eyes darted to the crowd of drunk dancing teenagers. “Oh, no, I-“

“Come on!” Harlow cried over the blaring music and shouting, her dainty hand wrapping around her wrist, “please! nobody else likes to dance to this song with me!”

Reina pondered for a moment, letting Harlow shake her limp arm, chewing on her bottom lip. Worry pooled her eyes, wondering how it would feel to jump back into the party life so soon. She hasn't had a drink, so as long she steered clear of any and all alcohol consumption, one dance didn't seem like the worst thing. Besides, her blue Gatorade was tucked safely on her bike, where she had parked it by a palm tree.  

“Okay,” Reina sighed, itching a random spot on her neck before she touched her regrettable scars and coiled her hand away, a smile touching her lips once she met Harlow's eyes, “one dance.”

She didn't seem like it at first, but Harlow Westwick was a firecracker who's adrenaline had boosted to a hundred by the time she started dancing. Reina couldn't help but laugh anytime the girl poorly busted a dance move that, in her opinion, was killer. Instead of trying to mirror anyone else's movent, Reina gradually let her body sway to the heavy pumping music, her eye getting lost in the darkness and focusing on the song's base. Soon enough, the two had been dancing for an hour, disregarding Reina's 'one dance' policy.

Reina followed the tipsy girl around the boneyard, not bothering to tell her to ease up on the drinking as she didn't see it as her place to tell her what to do. She had caught Kira glancing toward her and passed her a small smile before quickly grabbing Harlow's waist when she nearly fell face-first on the sand. Too occupied with keeping Harlow upright as she marched down the beach, Reina overlooked JJ, John B, and Pope staring at her from where they sat around a bomb fire.

“So,” JJ started, downing the last of his beer, “what do we think of the new girl?”

John B casted his eyes over to Reina, who was dancing with their friend, more trying to hold her up than anything, “She seems cool,” he replied with a shrug.

Pope nodded along, his eyes still on Reina and Harlow down the beach, “She sounded nice, and she’s currently babysitting Harlow, so seems like she could hang.”

JJ tapped his ring clad finger against his plastic cup, his eyes dancing side to side, “Think I could bag her?”

His question sent the other two boys into a groan, Pope rolling his head back and John B tossing a nearby empty solo cup at him,

“Jesus, man! Do you think about anything other than sleeping with girls?”

JJ looked up, pondering, “Weed,” he answered, “spend a lot of time thinking about weed.”

“Yeah, we know,” Pope said, rolling his eyes.

“She could be gay,” John B suggested.

“What makes you think she’s gay?” JJ asked, face scrunched in confusion.

“What makes you think she’s straight?” Pope rebutted.

“Touché, Pope,” JJ tipped his empty cup at him, “touché.”

The wind was nipping at Reina's skin once the music suddenly died down. She had been following Harlow for so long that she just realized how different the sand felt under her sandals. The ground was a bit more firm but squishy at the same time, unlike the dry sand she had been wondering just hours prior. Reina stopped dead in her tracks when the sound of waves broke her from her trance. She inhaled sharply, her smile dropping, and her eyes widening in mild horror. The smell of salt became like a toxin in her lungs, and she stumbled back, her hands balling into a fist. If she knew Harlow would lead her this close to the water, she wouldn't have taken up the offer to dance. The dark sky made the water look like a raging god, calling her to step into its deadly grasp.

Despite the influx of cold wind, Reina found herself sweating under her sweater as she created more distance between herself and the ocean. A flash of a flowy green dress came across her eye when she saw Harlow drunken figure dancing toward the water. Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest, seeing her tread dangerously closer to the shallow part of the ocean. The girl couldn't even keep herself balanced on the sand, and the waves would devour her immediately if she got any closer.

"Um, Harlow," Reina's tone was scarcely over a shout, not wanting to scare the girl. "could we maybe head back to the party?"

Harlow flimsily whipped her body around, her pale cheeks flushed with heat as a grin played on her lips. "There's not a pool at the party, Reina!" Harlow stated, her hand's failing to properly set on her hips as they kept slipping off.

"This isn't a fucking pool, it's the ocean. Now could you please--Harlow!

The giggling mess of a teenager took another tantalizing step into the water until she was knee-deep. The waves roughly slapped onto the back of her legs, her body bucking forward, bringing Reina to gasp. Any person with sense would have marched to Harlow and dragged her away from the water to prevent her from drowning. But Reina stayed glued in place, watching the tipsy teen splash water about. Maybe if she called her enough times, Harlow would listen.

Reina bounced on one of her legs, her pleading eyes desperately trying to spot one of her friends in the crowd that seems small considering how far they had traveled. Another loud splash brought Reina to look back at Harlow. Water must have got in her eyes, and she was brutally rubbing her knuckles over her eyelids to cease the burning. Reina's heart stopped upon seeing a wave hurtling toward Harlow, but as her words got stuck in her throat, the water slammed into her back, her body lurching forward face-first into the icy sea.

"Harlow!" Reina cried, taking a hesitant step forward. Her ears keened in on the waves, her eyes adjusting to the darkness to try and spot Harlow but nothing. She prayed that her head would appear above the waves, smiling and breathing. But nothing again. It's as if the ocean had eaten her alive and didn't think twice to bother apologizing.

Reina's breathing became uneven once she realized Harlow wasn't resurfacing as long as she stood there doing nothing. "Fuck me.." she huffed and shook her head.

Without a second thought, Reina was dashing forward down the small hill that led to the water, kicking off her sandals. Her mind was so hellbent on saving Harlow that she didn't focus on how the water felt on her torso, how it tugged on her figure to swim deeper. She knew if she let her mind find out that she was indeed in the ocean, she would surely drown, and both girls would be lost at sea.  

Reina's hair was now wet as she was forced to dive under and let the salt burn her vision as he tried to make out Harlow's silhouette in the darkness. She kicked around, her hands roaming the area until she felt her hand swipe across a clothing material. She instantly heaved the girl's body up until Harlow's face was above water. She was completely unresponsive, and a sting of guilt tugged at her chest. If she hadn't hesitated, Harlow would still be breathing.

She pulled Harlow to the shore with all her strength, letting her body lay on the wet sand. Reina brushed her damp hair from her face and tucked it behind her ears to better examine the girl. "Harlow," Reina called to her urgently, cupping her face in her hand to try and shake her awake.

She had never performed CPR, but this was a life or death situation. Reina pressed both hands on Harlow's chest and began pumping up to thirty. Reina gripped her jaw and plugged her nose to pry her mouth open and started breathing air into her lungs. She repeated the action a couple of times, and just when she lost hope, Harlow's body began jerking violently until she was coughing up water to the side along with some of the cheap beer that she let screw with her mind.

Reina's heartbeat eased as she let out a sigh of relief and sat back on her heels, looking up and letting her eyes flutter shut. Harlow wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before sitting up, her eyes wide with her mouth agape as she stared ahead at the ocean that nearly killed her. Silence loomed over the two girls, both trying to process what had just happened. The only sound was their heaving breathing, the taunting ocean, and the party that was likely to go on until the sun rose.

"We shared our first kiss," Harlow giggled after fleeting silence, resulting in Reina snapping her neck toward the girl.

"W-what?" she muttered, her face reddening as confusion pulled at her brows.

Harlow was beaming, and the wink she sent to Reina made her squirm in place as she stared at the girl stunned.

"Harlow!"

Both girls looked back to see Kiara, JJ, John B, and Pope rushing toward them.

“Holy shit!” Pope examined the girl's soaked state and shivering bodies, “what happened?”

“Had a near-death experience, P man,” Harlow answered as her feet wiggled in the sand, “but God herself over here saved me.”

“Are you seriously cracking jokes right now?” Kie shouted, her features stitched into an angry frown, “you almost died!”

"That's an exaggeration," Harlow quipped with a quirked brow. With shaky hands, Reina helped Harlow to her feet. She looked among the girl’s group of friends, averting her eyes from the ocean beside them.

"I had to perform CPR," Reina mumbled quietly to her statement. But it seemed Kiara and Pope caught on as they're eyes bulged from their sockets.

“Dude, for real, are you okay?” JJ asked, his eyes bouncing between Harlow and Reina.

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Harlow sputtered with a shrug as she held her body to find warmth, “never almost drowned before, so I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.”

“What is wrong with you? You could have died! You can’t just go out into the ocean drunk as shit!” Kie lectured.

“Yeah, Kie, I get it, alright!”

The two girls' voices started to rise as they argued, John B and Pope hurried to step between them, trying to mediate. Reina stood a few steps away from them, biting through the skin of her lip until her mouth filled with the taste of iron. Without knowing what she was doing, her feet started to move her away from the group, unaware JJ had his eyes on her the entire time.

________________________________≈Ω≈___________________________________

Reina's hands were trembling as she unlocked the door to her house, her face blank when she entered the cold living room. The driveway was vacant of any cars, meaning she was completely alone. Alone with her thoughts.

Her worst enemy.

When she took another step across the cold wood floorboard, she nearly slipped. A gasp sounded through her lungs, and her mind found an opening. A door that had been locked for so long that she never dared be this close. But with her soaked hair making a puddle on her feet and her wet sweater weighing her down, the tears that began streaming down her cheeks were inevitable.

Reina tossed the keys toward a wooden table near the door and fled to her bedroom. She had to use the wall as support as she pressed her hand against her chest, trying to even out her breathing. But it was too ragged, and she felt like collapsing. Though her room was large in width, she could feel the walls closing in on her. Like her nightmares had finally cornered her.

A sob racked her throat, and she began to tear off her skirt along with her underwear. She didn't want to feel anything related to tonight's events. She regretted going at all.

Reina finally stripped out of everything until she was bare. Her legs gave under her, and she fell to her knees and shuffled back until her spine made contact with her bed. If ripping her wet hair out was an option, she would do it immediately. From the air conditioning blowing down on her, she knew a stuffy nose was guaranteed, but she didn't want to feel anything.

With her jaw wobbling uncontrollably and her body shaking, she held her legs close to her chest and rocked back and forth.

You're not in the water anymore.

Reina threw her head back, scraping the side of her neck along the pattern of her scars. The tune of the windchime seemed so distant, but yet it was enough.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed.

Her heart steadied, the warm tears continuing to flow like a blanket trying to comfort her.

"I'm sorry, dad."

@pogueszn @mdlyncline @bricksatanakinswindow @ponyboys-sunsets @kaitieskidmore1 @casper17 @moonshinerbynight @cordeliascrown @acvross-the-universe 

[the-peachpit]

ENDER MIRROR

No Romantic Relationships

Fandom: DSMP

TW: Past Abuse

“Damn it,” Tommy breathed out, “Ah fuck it!” he pulled up his fishing pole seeing the third empty line, not even a hook attached to the end. “You fuckers!” The blonde shook his fist at the river.

“You’re too loud,” Ranboo set his pole to the side letting it lay on the wooden dock they had built, “You’re scaring away the fish.”

Tommy threw his fishing rod to the side, “Stupid fucking fish.” He pulled his knees up to his chest resting his chin on them.

He caught Ranboo tying another hook to the end of his line without even asking-Tommy groaned. He was done fishing was frustrating and no fun he could think of a million other things he’d rather do.

“You swear too much,” Ranboo concentrated on tying a small metal hook to the end of the clear wire.

Tommy had already stabbed himself five times with the hooks not even trying to attach them to the line one of them was from a bad cast. He had brushed them off before now looking down at his fingers he noticed two of the red marks where the hooks had stabbed the tips of his fingers. Ranboo had offered him one of the Band-Aids he carried around for Michael and secretly Tubbo. He turned it down a little dirt was good for a wound, it’s what Wilbur always said. Wilbur never carried Band-Aids. Tommy closed his hands into fists-well not after they left home. A stick from a hook was nothing he couldn’t shrug off.

“Earth to Tommy,” Ranboo held the pole up waving it towards Tommy.

Tommy snatched the wooden end, “Would you stop waving that thing around. Can we go do something else? You don’t even like fish.”

Ranboo cast his line, “Tubbo isn’t a big fan either, “He scrunched up his weird enderman mouth the small slitted sides caving in, “But he enjoyed fishing.”

Tommy snorted, “There’s no way Tubbo would be into this it’s so boring!”

“He thinks it’s relaxing,” Rnaboo’s green and red eyes were on the water.

Rolling his eyes Tommy watched trying to focus on Ranboo’s line almost transparent against the gentle current. It was swallowed up and then released searching for prey.

“I can’t picture him standing still this long,” Tommy let his feet dangle off the end of the wooden pier the water gently lapping to graze the bottoms every once in a while. “But I don’t really know Tubbo much, anymore do I?”

“That’s literally the exact opposite of why I brought you out here,” Ranboo leaned forward his shoulders scrunched up by his ears.

Tommy looked at him cocking his head to the side.

“Stop acting like I replaced you, it’s getting old,” Ranboo turned his head.

Green and red eyes that were split across the middles starred at Tommy. He looked annoyed but more annoyed than when Tommy would be loud and obnoxious and annoyed that felt familiar. Ranboo actually looked upset with him-Ranboo never looked upset with anyone, not genuinely.

“Tubbo married you,” Tommy gagged at the word married, “Can you get more replaced than married?”

Ranboo laughed but Tommy couldn’t see what was so funny. He watched the man sitting cross-legged keeping his delicate skin far away from the water. Instead of his regular suit, he wore a black tank top that almost matched half of his skin and black shorts. If he weren’t an enderman hybrid he’d look boring. Tubbo didn’t really like boring people though.

“The second you came waltzing back I was getting myself ready for a divorce,” Ranboo wheezed.

Tommy raised a blonde brow, “Why?”

“I knew what Tubbo was doing,” Ranboo shrugged, “He was replacing me, he had you to elan n his whole life, and suddenly you were dead. He couldn’t cope and I was there to fill a hole. When you came back, and he stayed I was just as surprised as you.”

Tommy shrugged, “He likes you a lot, and I guess,” he deflated his shoulders sagging, “I guess I don’t totally hate your guts anymore, but you’re always on thin ice.”

“Noted,” Ranboo nodded, “You know,” he leaned back on his palms, “You’ll always know more about him than I do. His scars are the biggest mystery to me, and I don’t pry, but I wish he felt comfortable talking to me about them. They keep him up at night sometimes itching, and sometimes his body aches in a way he can’t get out of bed.”

Tommy looked back down at his hands the scars running across his fingers and palms-he was covered in scars. Small reminders from head to toe of a life he lived too long ago. His skin wasn’t a map like Techno’s-but it was close. He found them mostly on his arms and legs-the biggest addition was to his forehead. Where Dream had bashed his skull open. Tommy grew his bangs long the white streak prominent-he didn’t think he’d ever get them short again.

Ranboo pulled up another empty line, “Tommy,” his voice was soft losing the playful edge, “Are you okay?”

Opening his mouth Tommy felt his heart thump against his ribs, “What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I be?”

Gentle hands held the translucent wire Tommy watched the wisps of steam rise from Ranboo’s hands. Even the small drops of water hurt his sensitive endermen skin. Ranboo returned Tommy’s confused look, “I think it’s pretty obvious, you never talk about your past with malice, but you went through so much.”

“Bit dramatic don’t you think?”

Ranboo looked out to the river, then back to Tommy, “Do you not,” He cocked his head to the other side swaying his long white and black bangs along with his floppy ears, “Do you not realize you’ve been wading in tragedy for years?”

“You’ve lost me Ran,” Tommy shrugged watching the river spotting a stupid salmon.

“You’re a child soldier for starters,” Ranboo frowned.

“L’manburg was our dream.”

“It sounds more and more like Wilbur’s dream every time I hear you talk about it.”

“Come off it, Tubbo can tell you-“

“We’ve talked about it,” Ranboo cast his line, “You two were bonded over being brainwashed into thinking you were bigger than you were. Wilbur sunk his claws deep into you being your brother.”

“Wilbur was,” Tommy looked down at his hands. Why was his skin so hot?

“Killed,” Ranboo said the word effortlessly, “By your own father who was never around- in front of you.”

He was blunt. Was that really what happened? It wasn’t that simple, there were layers he was skipping things. Tommy was there he saw it all it wasn’t bad.

“I was happy Ranboo when we were building L’manburg,” Tommy back peddled the conversation.

“You always reminisce in those days. Was it the last time you were happy?” Ranboo asked.

Tommy felt the heat creep up his neck, “That’s fucking stupid, I’m always happy.”

“That’s the problem,” Ranboo’s voice rose, “You died a month ago-like permanently in hell died. You came back fine.”

Tommy could hear his heart in his ears and desperately tried to breathe louder to prove to his throat it wasn’t closing.

“I-I,” Tommy stuttered, “It was all my fault. L’manburg, Wilbur-if I was better it could have been avoided. If I wasn’t me, maybe we’d still be in L’manburg and you’d be married to someone who wasn’t reliving dying in the middle of the night. I ruin everything. I started a war I couldn’t finish. I watched Wil change and didn’t reach out and he died. I betrayed Technoblade and hurt him. When Dream beat me to death, I thought I deserved it, the world would be free from Tommyinnit. I’d be free from hurting.”

Never putting it into words before Tommy felt the weight of his actions from the past few years. All he did was cause trouble, his father knew it, his brothers knew it, even deep down he knew his best friend knew it. Everyone always got into shitty situations because he ran his mouth thinking it was clever. The first day Tubbo said Tommy was quiet Tommy felt pride, being quiet meant being better. Sitting on that bench where an empty grave sat built by the only person who really cared Tommy dug his nails into his palms. Anything to not feel swearing the grave was his new beginning. Anytime Tommy felt too strongly he would dig into his palms until he could trace the crescent moon shapes indented in his skin.

“Has anyone ever told you it’s not your fault? None of it was your fault alone.”

Spinning his head to the side with wide eyes when he heard Ranboo shift Tommy thought the worst. Ranboo was toying with him, trying to get into his head before killing him. Maybe by pushing him into the river, holding him under. Lifting his arms in front of his face bracing for impact-he’d stopped fighting so long ago. Strong arms that could have easily broken his neck, strong arms had ended his life, but now they encircled him. With no malice, they embraced him tensing Tommy’s ragged breath made him feel like he was choking. Pressed against soft cloth Tommy was certain he’d be smothered. He accepted it his fight long gone. Stiffly Tommy sat in a hug, not one that was too tight like Wilbur’s when he told Tommy he could do better. Not uncaring and lazy like when Dream would visit in exile. A hug. Simple and gentle. Slowly Tommy felt a bubble rise from his chest. It traveled along his windpipe expanding as it broke to the surface.

A tear fell stinging its way out of Tommy’s bright blue eyes that had lost their shine. A singular warning to the start of a flood. It felt good, reliving to feel the wet cool water slip down his jaw. The bubble burst and Tommy did something he’d never done. Not when Wilbur yelled, not when Schlatt yelled, not when Sam yelled, not when Technoblade, not when Dream or anyone screamed at him. He took every blow with a smile for years being above it all. He didn’t know it was being stored away in his heart festering into his self-doubt and anxieties. It was the force suffocating him. As he cried into Ranboo’s shirt he finally felt like he could breathe. The bubble in his throat bursting as he screamed back at everyone who assaulted him verbally or physically.

He was scarred by unkind hands and instead of bandaging the wounds, he let them fester with mud, dirt, and hatred because he thought he deserved it. Finally feeling peace for the first time in months all it took was him dying for everyone to finally feel free. When he came back it all felt so painful and finally, he’d be what he always dreaded-alone. However, Tubbo and Ranboo accepted him so easily back into open arms. Invitations always felt like a trap to Tommy, but they were genuine. Caring for him gently making sure every hour he was holding it all together. He held it together for them. Being told he was allowed to not be okay, to feel and cry, it was crushing like a wave. Yet relieving as a cold drink on the hottest summer day. Tommy was free from the clutches of every pair of hands that circled his throat, held a sword to him and his friends. He wasn’t a hero gilded in gold expected to save or protect anyone. He was free to be anyone in a future that was stretched out bright in front of him in a small nation.

After what felt like hours but was realistically twenty minutes Tommy pried himself away from Ranboo worried his tears may have burned the man. To his relief, the enderman hybrid was unharmed protected by his clothing. Gently Tommy wiped his eyes with the back of his hand before looking back out to the gentle river. He pretended every current that whisked by was carrying every one of his fears away for the last time.

Looking back down at his hands Tommy saw the red pinpricks from the hooks.

“Hey Ranboo,” Tommy flexed his fingers, “Can I have some Band-Aids?”

Ranboo nodded digging into his pockets, “Sure thing.”

It was never too late to heal

[mizalsayf]

Foreign Letters - Chapter Two

~MASTERLIST~  

Summary: Denny continues to read the letters as June gives him more memoirs and reveals her inner conflicts.

Word Count: 2472

A/N: Sooo, Chapter Two of pure suffering and sadness coming your way. Let me know if you like it and leave feedback!  

Warnings: angst (obviously)

Tagging: @jeffreyfuckingdeanmorgan , @jdms-network and no one since nobody told me they wanted to be tagged.

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

(gif originally posted by @jdm-negan-mcnaughty )

Time will take us all but I can’t let her go.

Denny stared at the last three words of the letter he was currently holding, “giggles and delight.” He let a small smile grace his lips as tears fell onto the paper, creating some darker spots. He hugged the letter close to his fresh scar, somehow hoping that the door would open and she walks in.  

He wanted to hear her delighted giggles and jokes one last time. Feel her touch, her small, fragile body pressed against his. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen. And that thought killed him more and more as he reminded himself of it.

Shaking his head and tearing his thoughts away from the hope of ever seeing her again, he put the letter on his lap and picked up the letter with the number two on it.

This time, he didn’t hesitate and decided to open the letter, knowing that reliving the happy memories and conversations would not ease the pain but, at least, help to remind him of her as a person.

He ripped the envelope open and took out two papers, one a normal white, the other a slight yellowish tint. Denny recognized the page in an instant and took a closer look at it to confirm his suspicions.

It was a page of her favorite book, “The Old Man and The Sea” by Ernest Hemmingway. A chuckle escaped his mouth at the remembrance they shared through this tiny book. Denny breathed in the familiar scent the book held, the worn-out paper rough against his fingertips.

He put the page down and laid the necklace he received in the first letter down on it, careful so it doesn’t slip from his lap. Although, he knew what she wanted to tell him with said page, he was still unsure whether he wanted to confirm it. He had never read the book but June raved about it so much, he was sure he could tell the story without any problems.

His gaze fell back on the snow-white paper which held another message of hers in it. He took a deep breath, in through his nostrils and out through his mouth, holding his tears back.

—

I bet you recognised the page, right? Sure, you did, I couldn’t shut up about it. Sometimes I wondered how you put up with my rambles and still seemed so interested anytime we’d discuss about it.  

I remember our very first conversation about it like it was yesterday and it was honestly one of the best and most relieving talks I’ve had since arriving in the hospital.

—

June exited her hospital room, closing the white, heavy door behind her while guiding her I.V pole along with her. She looked around, politely greeting the nurses and doctors that passed her.

She arrived at Denny’s station faster than she expected and slowed her pace down, nerves already crashing her thoughts like tsunami waves. A few of the nurses that helped Denny the previous day passed her, their faces lighting up when they spotted the purple headscarf.

The old lady breezed past June, scaring her and almost knocking her over. She recognized her in an instant and stopped her steps, smiling apologetically at June, “I’m sorry, dear, I didn’t notice you immediately. Are you here to visit Denny?”

June’s pale face flushed a bright red, her gaze falling on the hospital walls and equipment, “Uhhh, yes. We, I, uhm, decided to get to know each other I guess?” She sheepishly smiled, scratching her arm in a nervous gesture.

The older woman began to laugh and touched June’s shoulder, “No need to be nervous. Denny couldn’t shut up about you throughout my whole shift yesterday. Just, keep in mind that he’s bed bound for the next few days.” She winked at her, giving her a soft pat on the shoulder and walking towards another room, disappearing behind the door.

June nodded despite that the nurse couldn’t see her anymore. She took a deep breath, smoothing her clothes out as if that would make her look any better and decided to go for it.

—

Denny’s head snapped up from the newspaper he currently held in his hands as a soft knock echoed through his room. He waited a couple of seconds, not saying anything and furrowed his brows when no one entered, “Come in!” He called out and that’s when a click was heard, the door slowly opening.

A dimpled smile spread on his face when he saw a purple scarf and picked up the sounds of squeaking wheels. A slightly anxious looking June closed the door behind her and stood in the middle of the room.

“Hello June! How are you?” Denny cut the awkward silence short, her green eyes staring back into his own. He saw her posture relax and a genuine smile gracing her lips.

“Hi Denny.” She breathed, “I’m fine and how about you? I heard you’re bedbound again.” Her comment coaxed a chuckle out of his throat as he averted his gaze elsewhere and June took a seat in the armchair beside the bed.

“Yeah yeah, I’m better now. You just caught me off guard yesterday.” He defended while he felt his skin heat up and he fumbled with the newspaper. He tensed up as he felt June’s small hand cover his own. He let his gaze travel upwards, slowing down when it landed on her.  

Denny noticed her leaning forward with a reassuring smile, “I know that you’re just as nervous as I am but relax a bit, okay? Let’s get to know each other.” Denny nodded in response, immediately relaxing at her soft touch and caring voice.

He had no idea what it was about her that put him under a spell. Maybe it was the way she carried herself or the way she could make anything and anybody smile with a simple gesture. But what he knew was that she somehow already started to brighten up his day, make him forget that he could die at any given moment.

“Okay, can I ask you a few things?” Denny asked, a feeling of delight spreading within him when she gave an enthusiastic nod, “So, you’re obviously from England, where exactly and why are you in the States?”

June weighed out her answer for a few seconds. Should she be 100% honest from the beginning and just go for it or be cautious and not reveal too much yet. Her head screamed at her to stand up and get out of here.  

He was only pitying you. You’re going to die soon anyway, why hurt more people than you already are? Get out of this situation, he deserves to live a happy life and that’s something he could find without you. Don’t give him an extra amount of problems and things to worry about, he has more than enough on his own.

Tears sprang to June’s eyes but she was quick to wipe them away with the sleeve of her hoodie. She focused back on Denny and saw him waiting for an answer, not noticing the conflict in her.

Or he noticed and simply doesn’t care? Her head suggested. But June decided to ignore him for now and focus on getting to know Denny better.

“I was born in Eastbourne, that’s like an hour or so away from London and right by the sea.” She started off, reveling in the memories of her hometown. “As to why I decided to move overseas, there was nothing holding me there anymore.” Truthfully, she missed everything in England but it was filled with bad experiences and represented some of the worst moments in her life. She didn’t want to visit those places again, she didn’t care to.

Denny’s smiling face was covered by a worried expression, knowing she wasn’t telling him everything. He didn’t expect her to but he was curious and wanted to know everything from her best to her worst memories. An internal conflict started unfolding in his mind, not sure if he should press the matter or just leave it be. He didn’t want to come across as rude or too nosy.

“Why the worried look?” June chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood but to no avail. The tension in her shoulders returned and the gremlin in her head was currently rubbing its hands, delighted that there was no one she could hurt but herself.

“I’m sorry.” Denny apologized, his hands starting to tremble a bit, “I didn’t mean to invade your privacy like that, it was just… I’m really curious about you and your life. I want to get to know you better.” He whispered the last part more to himself, but she heard him loud and clear as there was no noise in the whole room.

June’s eyebrows shot up, surprised that he was quite the contrary of what she originally thought he’d be. Curious, intrigued and, most importantly, genuine. Her inner gremlin retreated back into his hole while mumbling, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. If he hurts you, I’m not going to do anything. You only have yourself to blame.”

“Oh no, you don’t have to apologize.” She waved her hands around in a rejecting gesture, trying to wave his doubting thoughts out of his head, “The truth is, I’m not used to opening up to someone, I keep to myself most of the time but I don’t mean any harm by it. It’s just the way I am since I was like twenty-one.” Admitting her difficulty about opening up and being open and honest about it felt brilliant, like a thousand pounds lifted off her shoulders.

Denny stared back at her, his mouth agape in awe at her honesty and the way she easily identified the problem. He felt himself falling into the depths of something he could not yet identify and wasn’t ready to take it that far yet.

“Okay, let’s just be completely honest with each other from now on, does that sound like a good plan?” Denny suggested, his gaze filled with hope and curiosity.

June nodded in agreement and leaned back into the chair, crossing her legs. She noted that his vision as no longer fixed on hers but on the small bag that hung on her I.V pole, “What’s in there?” He nodded his head toward the white bag for emphasis.

She went to open the plastic bag and took out a small, thin book. Its cover looked well used as did the corners of the book. She stretched her arm out, handing Denny the book. He gripped the book and inspected it, “It’s my favorite book of all time, it’s “The Old Man And The Sea” by Ernest Hemmingway. I have read it more than I care to remember and it was always a book I could rely on to make me a bit nostalgic, sad but happy at the same time. It’s brilliant.“

Denny’s deep brown eyes wandered from the book onto June as she started rambling about the book and it sent a big grin on his face. Her eyes sparkled and her body language was much more open and readable. He sensed the passion radiating off her, her excited smile and the aura around her changed too. It was like magic.

They then spent the rest of the day talking about the positives in their lives rather than the bad. They both soon noticed that it was getting dark outside and that June had to go back into her own room to eat dinner and get her daily medications.

June stood up, shaking her legs as they had fallen asleep and felt a bit weak after sitting and talking for hours. They exchanged a smile as she stepped closer to his bed, sitting down on the edge. She took his cold hands into her much warmer ones and squeezed them, "Thank you for today Denny. I had a lot of fun and finally got to relax for a bit. It means a lot to me.”

Denny brought one of his hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles, his eyes never leaving her own. She let out a small giggle as her cheeks blushed in a deep red. He let go of her hand and sent a wink her way, striking a pose that he still got his charm.

June wanted to stand up but something held her back, causing her to hesitate. She bit her lower lip, the gremlin already sticking its head out of its hole. But June pushed him back inside again and leaned forward, locking her arms around his neck in order to embrace him.

Denny tensed up at her sudden embrace but recovered rather fast and relaxed, hugging her back. He took a deep breath as he wanted to imprint her smell in his memory and never forget it. He almost let out a whine when they parted but was able to control his wants and needs.

She gripped her pole and wheeled it to the door, gripping its handle. “See you tomorrow.” She called over her shoulder and left the room, leaving Denny with his thoughts and a goofy grin.

—

At the end of the day, that book was the one thing we had to distract ourselves from the negativity surrounding us. And, for once, I was glad that I had that stupid plastic bag hanging on my I.V.  

But I never got to tell you what the book meant to me from that day on. Its entire meaning changed in a matter of a couple hours.

In the book, on the eighty-fifth day of the fisherman’s unlucky streak, he was pulled away by the line he was holding onto to catch a gigantic fish, which was his only hope and dream. He struggled against the fish for three days before he was finally able to kill him. When he swam back towards land, he was attacked by a flock of sharks that got attracted by the blood of the dead fish he had. The sharks kept eating away his catch, finally having devoured all of it and with it the fisherman’s hopes and dreams.

And I somewhat felt the same way. I felt like after my diagnosis, my hopes and dreams were gone. I wasn’t afraid of dying but I was afraid of dying with regrets. But then I bumped into you and I, for once, felt like I had a piece of my hope and dreams back.

But, my inner conflicts and demons began to eat you away from me, they didn’t want me to get close to anybody anymore since I was dying. But, unlike the fisherman, I managed to hold onto my only hope, you, and allow you to get close to me. I felt whole again, like I had something worth living for, for the rest of my days.  

I knew I was going to die without regrets.

[dont-doubt-dopple]

How You Fell In Love With Me - Chapter 1

A/N: So, my brain came up with another idea. Thanks creative brain. Anyways, just as a heads up a lot of stuff is going to repeat. I’m not going to write all of the novel within this fic; that’s a little too much work. But the italics is Bryce’s book, while the normal is dialogue between characters in the real world. Sorry if it gets confusing.

~•~

Chapter 1: Peeking Interest

Bryce was glad he found a blanket. It probably wasn’t as fuzzy as it used to be and there was obvious evidence that a dog had gotten to it, hence why it was in the trash. However, it stood looked long enough to cover the entirety of the 20-something’s 6'3" body. Though the thought of whether he’d use it for cover or warmth lingered in the back of his mind. He would think about it later. Right now, he simply crossed his fingers that there was another blanket in the other dumpster. He was not expecting to find a person.

“This sounds like a cliché superhero plot line.” Mike commented, lowering his physical copy of the draft. Bryce sighed, closing his eyes flopping back onto his bed. The blond ran his hand through his hair as he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. “Well I’m sorry if I couldn’t think of anything better.” He snapped back. “That doesn’t mean you should go stealing the plot of Daredevil Season 1 Episode 2.” Bryce breathed, trying to calm himself. He needed criticism, and Mike was the only person he was confident enough to tell about his self insert gang story, How You Fell In Love With Me. “Beginnings are hard.” He complained. “Any creator will tell you that. You have to introduce the main characters, establish setting, possibly introduce the conflict, all while making sure you hook the reader into reading the rest.” “I still think you should start another way. If I could spot the comparison, so could other readers.” “Well, what do you suggest?” Mike hummed, glancing over the draft. “Can I hear it in first person? Maybe just the first part before you edit the whole thing.” Bryce didn’t know what that do, but he quickly edited the pronouns and a few words to fit the narrative. I was glad I had found a blanket. It probably wasn’t as fuzzy as it used to be and there was obvious evidence that a dog had gotten to it, hence why it was in the trash. However, it stood looked long enough to cover the entirety of my lengthy 6'3" body. Though the thought of whether I could use it for cover or warmth lingered in the back of my mind. Though, I had to think about it later. Right now, I am simply crossed my fingers that there is another blanket in the other dumpster. Granted, I was not expecting to find a person. “See?” Mike offered. “That sounds better.” “It does, doesn’t it?” Bryce wondered aloud. “I think I can rework this chapter with this point of view. Thanks Mike for being my beta.” “No problem.” He replied. “Happy to work with you anytime, man. Your writing is amazing. Maybe you should link me to the Google Docs so I can comment and edit.” “Okay, yeah. Sounds good.” Bryce nodded, his fingers flying across the keyboard. “Just … you mind if I roll my new intro by you?” “Not at all.” Mike waved. “Hit me.” The silence was deafening. I expected it to be quieter after what happened yesterday, but not so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Usually when I came home, or however much the abandoned theater could be called a ‘home’, from a supply run it would be the same old enjoyable routine. Gorilla and Swag would be in the corner playing the Friday the 13 for an old NES console we found one day. Smitty, Kryoz, and Panda would be on the opposite side joking around with a Cards Against Humanity packone of them had, trying to figure out the best combinations. Most days I watched Gorilla and Drac, but now the bags of loot were simply taken from my hands and Smitty placed his finger to his lips. 'Drug Deal.’ He mouthed. 'On Stage.’ “Holy Crap, this is good.” Jonathan muttered, glancing over Evan’s shoulder as their eyes flew over the pages. “I wish there was more.” “Of what?” Ryan asked as he scooted into the seat across from the pair. “What’s that?” “This,” Evan indicated, waving the pages in the air next to him. “, is amazing. Somebody must have it here on accident.” “Yeah, but what is it?” Ryan pushed, leaning more into the table. “A draft of a story someone here is writing.” Jon explained. “It’s only the first chapter though, and it’s fantastic.” Jonathan put more emphasis on the last word, hoping that someone would claim ownership. He only received a few pointed glares that told him he should be quiet. “I can see why someone didn’t want people to read it though.” Evan added, making him receive a raised eyebrow from Ryan and a questioning look from Jon. “I mean, the author is clearly not trying to hide the fact that these characters are people on campus.” “Can I see?” Ryan asked, and Evan handed him the copy. He glanced through the pages, searching through for characters. “Wow. The first paragraph alone has Mark, Lucas, John, one of the Anthonys, and Dracula.” “Yeah, and it doesn’t end there.” Evan replied, pulling the draft back from his friend. “Listen to when they describe the guys in the deal. Right … here!” There were six of them, three to one side and three one the other. There was practically an invisible line between the groups that nobody was crossing. To stage left held the more normal looking guys. The most noticeable feature was the Mario hat one of them wore. Another had a beard, while the last one looked much older. While the others on the left looked like late 20-somethings or early 30-somethings, the last one looked like old enough to be a seasoned vet from Vietnam. They all had polished suits on, while the one with the beard held a briefcase which I assumed had the goods. The people on the right stood out a lot more. The first guy had a beard, but much more developed on the guy on the left. He also seemed to have a scar across one of his eyes but it is hard to tell from the angle I have. The motorcycle jacket he wore also had a depiction on a cartoon like devil on the back as well. The second one, well, I couldn’t really see the features on him that well. His hair was covered up by a light blue hoodie and his face was covered by the Jason Voorhees mask over his face. A gun was strapped to his back along with being armed with a knife that he was currently twiddling with. The last one was also very indistinguishable. A mask covered his eyes and only those, making me wonder how he was able to see. His hair his behind a gray hood much like the second guy, but the last one had what looked like bunny ears on the back. He was the one had the briefcase on his side. “Well, if that’s not me, Jon, and Luke then I don’t know.” Ryan commented. “And I recognize the Mario hat with one of the other Anthonys. Don’t know about the others though.” “It’s Max and Scott. Not Scotty, but Scott Robinson. They reveal it later on.” Evan confirmed. “How do you know?” “The author seems to refer to most people by their Gamertags. It just so happens during dialogue that the names Gassy and Sark are dropped.” “Worst part is the cliffhanger they leave you on at the end.” Jon spoke. “The narrator goes out to get air after what he’s seen when someone cocks a gun to his head and asks if he like what he saw. The author writes short chapters too.” “Damn. Who’s the main character modeled after? Do they give a name or anything?” “Yeah, its …” Jon paused, trying to think. “Evan, I don’t think the narrator said their name.” “Wait, really?!” He exclaimed. “Hold on. Third opinion. Ryan, read this and tell us if we know the narrator’s name.” “Okay. I don’t feel right about this, though. Reading something that I’m a character in. It’s like … breaking some invisible fourth wall.” “Fine, how about this.” Evan proposed. “Let’s keep this story between us, but we can decide to tell anyone who is a character as well.” “Deal.” Jon said a little too quickly. “Both you guys know I’m really bad at keeping secrets from Luke.” Ryan nodded, and started to read the chapter. Evan and Jon both moved around the table so they could reread the chapter again. However, nobody noticed the grinning Mike that stood watching from the bookshelf.