#i mean both the game and HBO version btw

[httpsastral]

[sighs]

I miss Joel Miller.

[mikuni14]

Why I think the way the final episode of The Sign was distributed is wrong, offensive and unfair to fans. And how disappointing I am with this approach, because I sincerely supported Idol Factory and Saint.

Personally, I pay for Gaga, Viki and IQIYI, plus a VPN to watch shows that are not available in my country (like Pit Babe), which, you know, I already paid for 🙄 Additionally, I pay for Netflix, I have combined subscriptions with other people for Disney, HBO, Skyshowtime, Prime, last year we paid for Apple to watch Silo and Severance (I recommend both series btw 👌). I also don't mind paying one-time for a film on the platform, which is how I recently watched Oppenheimer.

Money is not an issue (<- lol), apart from the fact that I support myself and I have to work, and I have to carefully manage my budget in order to feed myself and my cat, clothe myself, pay my bills, and my loss of job will mean obviously giving up access to all these media. I say that money is not a problem in the sense that I WILL SPEND MONEY on something I like. I will save, I will give up something else, but I will spend this money on stuff I love.

The Sign has chosen a certain distribution method for international fans. They chose YouTube and chose a set airing hour. They could have chosen to distribute only in Thailand like Cherry Magic, or they could have chosen any other platform with paid subscriptions. But they chose YouTube. And they released 11 episodes for free and at a set time. And now they CHOSE to make the last ep paid and to create a complete chaos related to the distribution of the finale, because I honestly don't know at this point whether it is paid or not, what is paid and what is not, whether it is on Saturday or Sunday or it's for a ticket or for free on channel3 and apparently they have two endings????, which is always an alarming sign for me, because it's very Game of Thrones/Marvel style shit.

Besides, people have their own lives, their obligations, their schedules. Sometimes you just can't get around certain things and you can't watch a series in the available time, no matter how much you want. Secondly, releasing a product for free in order to limit access to it in the final phase is the worst manifestation of toxic capitalism. This is preying on the desperation and devotion of fans. The third thing is the selection of viewers into those who can afford it, have the time, have the resources and those who do not. And yes, sometimes even just $15 of an unexpected expense makes a huge difference in a person's budget. It's telling some of the fans that you are VIP and can sit in the front row, and the rest of the peasants should wait outside for two weeks 😄

tl;dr personally I want and can pay for: 1) the entire series on a legal platform 2) ADDITIONAL things, like specials, fan stuff, etc. I consider paying for access to the series finale, which until now was free, immoral.

But tbh I really have no idea what's going on, I go with the flow 🤡Whenever I check The Sign tag, I read more and more new information related to the possibility of watching the finale, and it's different every day. And if it turns out that the cut version of the series will be available for free on Channel 3, and the uncut version with subs will be available tomorrow with a ticket, it will be the funniest thing ever. Because that would mean that people paid $15 to watch, I don't know what, a sex scene? 😄

Idk, guys, instead of enjoying the finale, people are wondering how to watch it at all. And if IF starts doing this, won't others follow suit? 11 episodes for free, oh you want to watch the finale, well you have to pay or wait and dodge the spoilers 😈

And one last thing for potential defenders of this system, like "what's your problem, it will be available in 2 weeks, just wait": so you accept that not ALL fans will have a chance to experience the final ep together, which is the basis of the fan community? That some fans will experience and analyze the episodes this weekend, and the rest will wait?

[maddieladner1999]

Things to watch on streaming services during social distancing.

The entire mcu movies. There are over 20 movies in the mcu giving you plenty of content to watch. It will definitely take you a couple of days. Bonus points if you watch the shows too. Most are on disney+ but the spider man movies are on starz.

The simpsons. 31 seasons long makes it pretty much impossible to ever finish. You’ll never run out of episodes like ever. I honestly think the social distancing will end before you finish. It’s on Disney+

Star Wars. With them all on Disney+, it’s not hard to watch them. The only one that’s not is rise of skywalker but hopefully it will be soon.

Buffy the vampire slayer. An iconic 90’s supernatural show that is btw on IMDB’s greatest tv shows of all times list. If you’ve yet to watch it bows your chance. You can even watch angel too. There’s a chronological order for that here. It’s on Hulu.

One tree hill. A show that runs for 9 seasons must be pretty great right? This show follows a group of friends that become like family. It’s on Hulu.

Gilmore girls/a year in the life. The iconic show about a mother/daughter duo who talk very fast and drop pop culture references like it’s no tomorrow. Both are on Hulu.

Schitt’s creek. A family suddenly becomes poor and have to move to a town they bought as a joke. The character development in this show is honestly insane and I am so proud. 2 episodes left to air means you’ll even get to watch the new season soon. It’s on Netflix.

One day at a time. A modern version about a Cuban American family deals with issues like racism, LGBT, drugs, ptsd, and more. It blends comedy and drama very well. It’s on Netflix but season 4 is currently airing on pop tv.

The vampire diaries franchise. Yeah I said franchise cause they’re are 3 shows: the vampire diaries, the originals, and legacies. All 3 are on Netflix.

Game of thrones. It’s time you finally watch this iconic show. Even if you’ve seen it do it again it’s worth it. It’s on hbo.

Basically any nbc comedy show. The office, parks and recreation, Brooklyn nine nine, etc. they are hilarious and well worth the watch. B-99 is on Hulu and the office and parks and rec are on Netflix.

Degrassi the next generation. This iconic teen drama is perfect for the teens stuck at home. And guess what? All 14 seasons are on IMDb tv which is completely free.

Supernatural. It may be coming to an end soon but the first 14 seasons are on Netflix. With over 300 episodes you e got plenty to watch. It’s on Netflix.

[kateofthecanals]

For The (Not)Watch: Episode 7.6

The Term “Jump The Shark” Has Officially Been Replaced By “Spear The Dragon”

I knew it was gonna be bad. I had plenty of warning. But I did not expect... this. Even the Sandor stuff, which I was lead to believe would be decent, was also pretty awful. There was just NOTHING redeemable about this episode. In fact, this may be The Worst Episode since 5.6 in terms of completely annihilating my faves. Sickening. Unforgivable. Grab the salt shaker and tea kettle and let’s get this over with...

So this episode really only dealt with shenanigans in the North -- beyond the Wall and in Winterhell. We open on the first of what seemed like 300 scenes of our wight posse shlepping through the snow and engaging in stilted, pointless conversation that served neither plot nor character development. They literally just pointed a camera at different subgroups of the gang and filmed whatever drivel they farted out of their mouths. First up, Gendry, Jon, and Tormund. Gendry is freezing his balls of while Tormund has a snow-boner and there’s the umpteenth conversation about how wildlings consider anything south of the Wall as “the South”. Tormund declares that “fucking” is the best way to keep warm in the North, and when Gendry points out that there’s no women for hundreds of miles, Tormund leers at him and says “We make due with what we’ve got.”

(Guys, remember when Tormund KILLED Rattleshirt for making a gay joke about him and Jon?)

This makes Gendry fall the fuck back, and Jon and Tormund immediately start talking shit about him. Oh, and also Mance Rayder. Yes, kids, this week, Tormund thinks Mance was a total noob for never bending the knee to anyone. Huh. Okay.

Gendry finds himself rolling with Beric, Thoros, and Sandor, and he gives them what for for selling him off to Melisandre and describes how she sexually assaulted him. Sandor, who heretofore has been looking for any ammo with which to give Beric and Thoros shit, suddenly hops fully on their side and ridicules Gendry for feeling bad about being raped and almost murdered. What. The. Fuck. D&D, please keep your loathsome “men can’t be raped just lay back and enjoy it” garbage out of Sandor’s mouth, k thanks.

At any rate, Sandor seemed REALLY interested in this convo. The scene devolved into the most crude version of “Summer Lovin’“ I’ve ever heard...

“Tell me more, tell me more, did you get fucked by Mel??”

“Tell me more, tell me more, was she naked as well??”

Sandor then gives us a little vocab lesson and tells Gendry to stfu because he’s still alive and that’s all that matters. Which was ALMOST a good point except for the whole your-trauma-doesn’t-mean-shit vibe. I refuse to believe that Sandor Clegane, at THIS point in the narrative, would still be a big enough asshole as to belittle someone else’s trauma. #NotMySandor

BTW, literally NONE of the principle characters are or will be wearing hoods or any head coverings of any kind. Only unnamed, expendable characters get hoods on HBO’s “Game of Thrones”!

From here we move on to Jon and Jorah, who had what was ALMOST the most bearable scene in the episode wherein they are discussing their fathers. Ned is brought up, as well as his honor, and no one calls him an idiot for it (!!!!). There’s even a nice moment where Jon offers Longclaw back to Jorah, but Jorah refuses. But this scene doesn’t work for 2 reasons: (1) Jorah suddenly thinks Ned was RIGHT to have punished him?????? and (2) Jorah openly admits that he brought “shame” to his family and won’t take back his sword because of that. This does not jive with the Jorah we’ve come to know, either in books or show. JORAH THINKS HE IS IN THE RIGHT. Jorah is a selfish man. He totally woulda taken his damn sword back.

Next, we take it to Winterhell where Arya is on the perch above the yard and Sansa (very gingerly) approaches her. Arya then begins telling a story about how Ned totally encouraged her tomboy ways because he was #WOKE and a total feminist ally or some shit (hahaha ok) and then says that Sansa probably doesn’t remember because she was too busy “knitting”...

Remember, Empowered Ladies: knitting is a “girl thing” and therefore STUPID and POINTLESS.

Things then take a ridiculously dark turn when Arya accuses Sansa of conspiring to kill Ned. And she totes has “proof” in the form of a letter Sansa was forced to write when she was 13 (but not with “a knife to her throat”, because manipulation and intimidation only exists in physical form, not psychological) and because Arya saw WITH HER OWN (blind) EYES Sansa smiling and clapping or something when Ned was beheaded. Arya claims that Sansa’s age is no excuse because LYANNA MORMONT! (Ah, now we see the TRUE purpose of that character...) Sansa tells Arya that she “can’t imagine” the things that happened to her while she was married to Ramsay, and Arya “Girl Power” Stark replies “I can imagine quite a lot.”

Just... WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

Rhetorical question, we all know EXACTLY what this is. This is D&D giving voice to every militant Sansa hater in the fandom, using Arya as a conduit for their OWN irrational hatred for Sansa, just to remind everyone who may have been starting to warm up to her this season why they hated her in the first place. Because Sansa MUST NEVER BE FORGIVEN. Sansa must ALWAYS BE PUNISHED for her mistakes. They are so driven in their determination to validate the Sansa haters that they will even sacrifice Arya and all her intelligence to achieve this. It’s fucking pathetic.

I really hope one day Maisie wakes up and realizes how she (and her character) was used in such a vile, petty manner. If she has any brains, she’ll be just as, if not more, outraged than we are.

Any-fucking-way.... back beyond the Wall, Sandor is lacing up his kicks when Tormund decides he wants to make a new friend. Sandor repeatedly tells him to fuck off but we all know that that only encourages him. Sandor tells him he hates “gingers" in an effort to cut him off, and Tormund muses that “gingers are beautiful. We’re kissed by fire. Like you.” Couple this with Tormund going on about how he has a “beauty waiting for [him] back at Winterfell” and how he wants to make babies who will conquer the world and I... just...

I WANT TO BELIIEEEEEVE.

I want so badly to believe that this is seeding something and isn’t just a shitty excuse to get Tormund and Sandor talking about Brienne. But then I come out of my coma and remember this is D&D and sadness takes over once again.

Speaking of sad, Tormund tries to get all Dr. Phil with Sandor by declaring that he doesn’t really think Sandor is “mean” (except every single scene since he returned last season where he’s mean to literally everyone??) and that he has “sad eyes”... which, THAT part is true! Sandor, of course, takes Tormund’s interest in his mental health as an opportunity to no-homo him, and here we get some actual dialogue written by two grown men for an Emmy Award-winning prestige drama:

“You won’t to suck my dick, is that it?”

“Dick?”

“Cock.”

“Oh. Dick. I like it.”

“I bet you do.”

“Nah, only pussy for me!”

Guys, this is literally D&D trying to make up for not seeding this euphemism prior to Bronn laughing about Dickon’s name a couple episodes ago. “See, guys?? Sandor says ‘dick’, it’s totally a thing!!” Amazing.

Anyway, kudos to Sandor for inadvertently pouring that tea over “Briemund” by ACCURATELY pointing out how Brienne looks at Tormund as if she’d like to see him mutilated. #OTP AMIRITE GUYS!!!!!

Our next vignette is Beric and Jon for a bit of pandering to the 3 people who still think this show is clever and that they are clever for liking it, when Beric points out that Jon doesn’t look much like his father and must take after his mother.

They then BARELY have a bonding sesh over having both been brought back from the dead by the Lord of Light, but Jon’s just like I DON’T KNOW HER and Beric proceeds to give the shittiness pep talk ever which culminates in the line that pretty much sums up GoT’s entire philosophy: “The enemy always wins.” Thanks for the motivational speech there, Beric!!

The party then comes to a halt as Sandor sees a mountain in the distance and points it out as the one he saw in the fire, and I’m just like oh sweetie that looks nothing like an arrowhead... But hey, give the guy a break, this is his first flame vision! Mel’s been doing this for centuries and she gets it wrong constantly! Sandor’s actually doing pretty good for a rookie! He then tells everyone “we’re getting close” because apparently he is the Moses of this mission...?

In other realms of D&D Trying To Convince Us The Opposite Of Something We Already Know Is True, we cut to Dragonstone where Dany ACTUALLY SAYS THESE WORDS to Tyrion: “You know what I like about you? You’re not a hero.”

Apparently Dany doesn’t like heroes because they do “stupid” things like charging into battle with both barrels and getting themselves killed. Hold that one under your hat for a moment, folks...

We then get more TELL than show when Tyrion tries once again to convince everyone watching that JON SNOW TOTES IN LUUURRRRVE WITH DANY YOU GUYS BELIEVE ME!!!!! The rest of the scene is just Tyrion being the level-headed one in the room because chicks be so irrational and hysterical amirite fellaz?? And “breaking the wheel” blah blah blah... Also, a reference to Dany having children, which follows a scene of the same with regards to Jon. WHAT COULD IT ALL MEEEEEAAAAAAAN

Back on the Tundra, it’s now a full-on blizzard and still NO ONE IS WEARING A HOOD. Seriously, these guys should all be dead. In the distance they spot a bear, and Tormund doesn’t even make a bear-fucking joke or anything (hmph). Although Sandor does shout “A BEAR!” which once again gets my SanSan senses tingling even though they shouldn’t... Anyway, Zombie Bear Attack happens. Beric sets it on fire with his flaming sword.... which, should have killed it immediately? No? This show is super inconsistent with that bit of information, so whatever, this time it doesn’t work I guess. Anyway, Sandor then finds himself face-to-face with a giant fireball bear and of course he completely freezes up. So Thoros (who also has a flaming sword now too??) jumps to his rescue. Unfortunately, Sandor is unable to do the same for him, and just stands there practically catatonic as Thoros is mauled. Much like Theon a few episodes back.... but I don’t see anyone calling Sandor a “pussy” today, do you? Hmmm, funny that... I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Sandor’s trauma stems from something “badass” like getting his face pushed in a fire, while Theon’s trauma is gendered and “emasculating”. Nope, nothing to do with that at all...

So anyway Jorah comes in and finishes off the bear with, I assume, dragonglass, since one stab with a little dagger did the trick. Beric tends to Thoros while Sandor stands off to the side like

Beric cauterizes Thoros’s wounds, which of course Sandor has to turn and walk away from. After this scene it occurred to me that Beric and Thoros have the most well-developed relationship on this entire show.

Meanwhile, in Winterhell, what the FUCK is Sansa doing alone in a dark room with Littlefucker and why the FUCK is she telling him ANYTHING about the note and what Arya said??? She couldn’t stand to even be in the same breathing space with him all season long, and now she’s turning to him when she’s getting death threats from her sister?? Why didn’t she go straight to BRIENNE first??? UUUGGGGGHHHHH!!! Speaking of Brienne, LF creepily suggests that Sansa should perhaps send Brienne away in the event Arya DOES try anything, because then Brienne would have to be forced to kill Arya to protect Sansa (and vice-versa). I guess this is supposed to appeal to Sansa’s tender heart in not wanting to see her sister killed, which I can believe since Sansa does seem genuinely rattled by this stranger who calls herself Arya. But of course the haters will immediately think the worst, that Sansa will send Brienne away so that Sansa can kill Arya. Sigh.... this is what bad writing does, folks.

Back on “The Walking Dead” set, Tormund and Jon spot a small group of wights, lead by an Other, and decide to lay a trap for them. They attack, blah blah blah, and when Jon stabs the Other with Longclaw, all the other wights immediately crumble to the ground. But lucky for our groovy gang, there’s one straggler! Tormund cold-cocks it and Sandor body-slams it, getting his hand bit in the process (which has given rise to a bunch of ZOMBIE CLEGANEBOWL theories, jfc....). Jon tells Gendry to RUN back to Eastwatch to get a raven to Dany, and Tormund takes his warhammer before he leaves to fulfill a thousand new memes. The rest of the group books it the hell out of there too, including Sandor who has the wight slung over his shoulder...

Guys, remember when Sandor had a severe limp last season? Now he’s sprinting across frozen tundras with zombies on his back. While carrying a warhammer. Okay.

They all stop short, though, when they get to a patch of thin ice. They see a whole horde of wights closing in on them, so they take a chance and run like hell to a big rock in the middle of the frozen pond, thereby loosening the ice for the wights to fall helplessly into. Which... shouldn’t be a problem for them since they are ICE ZOMBIES?? But sure whatever, let’s just accept that they have a problem with water for some reason to make it fit the plot we want...

Meanwhile, Gendry’s still running!!! LULZ!!!

He ends up faceplanting right in front of the gate, where Davos rushes out to retrieve him. And that’s the last we see of him this episode. Was he okay?? Did he freeze to death?? We’ll never know!! (Until next week when he’s necessary again for the plot...)

The next morning(?), our gang is still on the rock, and Sandor (who had been sleeping against Jon’s shoulder, awwww) wakes up to the sound of the the wight screeching, so he gets up and kicks him. Then Beric discovers that Thoros has frozen to death, so he kisses his hand, promises him he’ll “never let go” and watches as he slips beneath the waves...

But not before Sandor comes over and kneels beside him and delivers a heartfelt speech about how sorry he was for not saving him and wishing he could have been stronger in such a crucial moment and--AHHHAHAHA PSYCHE he swipes his flask! Oh what you didn’t think our awesome Hound was goin’ all SOFT, did ya?? Yes, the same man who, in the first episode of the season, buried two people he hardly knew could barely muster any feelings at all for Thoros kicking the bucket.

So, a farmer and his daughter die because of Sandor, he feels bad and buries them. Thoros dies because of Sandor, he shrugs and steals his booze.

So they burn the body, which Sandor hasn’t the stomach to watch.

Soon they discover the Night King watching them from a hill not too far away. Considering what we will soon learn about him, this whole situation could have ended pretty easily...

At Winterfell, the Plot Convenience Raven has arrived with an invite to King’s Landing for Sansa. Eureka! So, she decides to send Brienne as her envoy. Brienne objects, saying it’s not safe for her to be alone with Littlefinger since he’s probably plotting behind her back (uh, DUHHHH), but Sansa insists that she is the “safest” she could be there at Winterfell. Which.... yeah okay let’s review...

Ever since she’s returned “home”, she’s gotten:

Raped

Almost killed by her husband’s crazy side-piece

Her claim usurped by her (non)brother

Stalked by Littlecreeper

Death threats from her own sister.

Yeah, this whole “I AM HOME, NOBODY CAN HURT ME” drum she keeps banging is getting weaker and weaker.

Anyway, Sansa tries to sweeten the deal by reminding Brienne that Jaime is in KL, because at least one ship ought to be saved from sinking, right? ;-P

Over on Dragonstone, Dany has slipped into her Elsa cosplay as she gathers her dragons for duty. (Y’all, what if the reason everyone’s been wearing black this season is so Savior Snow Queen Dany can stand out in contrast all the better?) Tyrion is pleading with her not to go but she’s decided it’s Opposite’s Day or something.

Back beyond the Wall, Sandor is bored and also stupid, which is a really bad combination. So for so reason whatsoever, he picks up a rock and throws it towards the walkers, which hits one in the jaw. Hahaha okay funny, dude, you got me, good one... But no, the idiot decides to do it AGAIN only this time it lands just short on the ice... thereby tipping off the walkers that the pond is frozen over again. FUCKING GOOD ONE, SANDOR.

Seriously, why is he even THERE?? What is the fucking POINT of him being in this storyline?? Literally all he’s done is get Thoros killed and started Wight War III. HE IS FUCKING USELESS. Which makes me SO MAD because Sandor Clegane -- the REAL Sandor -- is not some brainless, violent oaf, he is actually QUITE INTELLIGENT AND RESOURCEFUL. Book-Sandor would probably kick Show-Sandor into a pile of wights for being such a fucking liability.

Everyone keeps trying to convince us that Sandor has some BIGGER PURPOSE, but from where I am sitting, he is only there to fulfill the show’s “cunt” quota until they’re ready to pull the trigger on CLEGANEBOWL.

So then the fucking melee begins. At one point, Tormund becomes overwhelmed by a bunch of wights, and some even pop up out of a hole in the ice to try and drag him under.... SO ARE THEY WATER-INCAPABLE OR AREN’T THEY??? Anyway, at the last possible second, Sandor saves him, and it’s a super effective moment, guys, because up until then, we didn’t know that Sandor was actually capable of saving people!!

So, once all the remaining nameless, expendable characters are killed off, we’re finally able to unleash the DRAGON EX MACHINA! And then, it happens, the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the moment when Game of Thrones officially became the silliest nonsense ever pretending to be serious. Proving why he was the gold medal winner in Track & Field at the 283 AC Summer Olympics in Highgarden, Night King picks up an ice-javelin, and instead of aiming at the dragon on the ground with a dozen passengers not a few yards away, he hail-marys the bitch up in the air straight at Viserion, who goes down in flames along with this show’s last shred of credibility.Dany barely bats an eyelash.

This bitch has been going on and on for TWO EPISODES IN A ROW now about how her dragons are her babies and the only babies she’ll ever have, and she barely registers any emotion at all. Like... THIS WAS YOU MOMENT, EMILIA. This was your time to pull out all the stops and prove that your range actually includes more than a dull smirk. But no. Doesn’t even call out his name or nothing. I felt more emotion when I saw a wasp drown in my pool over the weekend ffs...

Anyway, Jon yells for Dany and the crew to take off while he tries to hold them off or something, and Dany hesitates until she sees Night King reload. So off goes Disneyland’s newest ride, and NK chucks another super-spear, but Drogon knows how that zig-zaggin’ works. Jon falls into a hole in the ice with a bunch of wights and is somehow able to survive. He pulls himself out, and all the wights just... stare at him. Until they don’t and start running towards him...

But wait! Here comes BENJEN EX MACHINA!!!

He puts Jon on his horse and sends him on his way as he attempts to hold off the wights, which obviously doesn’t work and he is torn to shreds. Cool of you to show up again out of nowhere just to get killed, thanks Uncle!!!

Back at Eastwatch, Sandor lugs the captured wight into a rowboat with the non-help of Tormund and Beric. He gives them a little nod and Beric says they’ll see each other again, to which Sandor replies “I fucking hope not” but he said it with kind of a grin so maybe he’s finally learned to love again.

Up on the Wall, Jorah’s trying to have a moment with Dany but she’s too worried about what happened to Jonnycakes, while Drogon seems to be the only one who cares that Viserion is now a dragon-kebab. (P.S. Where is Rhaegal?) Jon finally arrives and they haul him onto Dany’s boat, where they immediately tear his shirt off, because we haven’t seen Kit’s abs once yet this season and that is a WAR CRIME.

But if you thought we were out of the woods with this episode, you were WRONG.

Sansa is snooping around Arya’s bedchamber when she stumbles upon her stash... OF FACES!!! Yes, it’s literally just a bag of rubber masks. Arya catches her and Sansa’s like WHAT THE HELL, SIS and Jigsaw Arya tells her all about how she got the faces and what that entails and pointedly suggests that she could even wear Sansa’s face. Yep, just straight up threatens to murder her own sister and wear her face, because that’s a totally reasonable response to.... I don't know, knitting? Is that why she’s pissed off at Sansa? I can’t remember anymore. For her part, Sansa maintains her composure very well, but hey, she’s used to this I guess.

BTW, I have to point out that Sansa is wearing her “Bolton Dress” in this episode, which begs the question.... IS THIS THE SCENE THEY WERE FILMING WHEN THEY SHOT THAT STARK COVER STORY FOR EW???? If that’s the case, then.... wow, were we fucking deceived.

^^^ hahahahaha nvm

Another side note: Kudos to Sophie for effectively conveying, more than anything else, just being HORRIFIED at what her sister has become, instead of just straight fear or her usual blank slack-jawed stare. She clearly seems more worried FOR her sister than OF her. Whether that was her/their intention, I don’t know, but that was what I read, and it worked.

Anyway, NO, Arya, all you need is NOT her face, you would also need to grow about a foot, but whatever.

Back on the Love Boat, Jon wakes up (still shirtless) to Dany keeping teary-eyed vigil next to his bed. He apologizes for Viserion getting killed (I guess? that wasn’t entirely clear) but she says she’s glad because now she’s seen the threat and IT’S PERSONAL!!! He then calls her Dany, which she gets all gooey about and says her brother is the last person to have called her that. Yes, Dany, the last person to call you that was your brother, and now your nephew has, SO BETTER BONE HIM!!! Blah, blah, blah, cheesy cheesy cheesy, the end.

I’m so ready for this to be over, because I am so fucking over.

EDIT: I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT THE DUMBEST PART!!! Somehow the wights, who, again, SUPPOSEDLY CAN’T HANDLE WATER, did some deep-sea diving with Tyrion’s long-lost chain from S2, hauled Viserion to the surface, and was resurrected as an Ice Dragon™ for the NK. Done.