#i may toss in favorite character favorite ship favorite location again just because those are fun/easy

[atiny-piratequeen]

Character Analysis, Choi San- the 'Usurper'

Languages: English, Arabic (Post Transformation), Japanese (Modern Day), Korean (Modern Day), French (Modern Day)

Crew Position: Sailing Master + Navigator +Map Maker

Powers: Blood Manipulation (Inherited by Egyptian God, Set)

Compass Position + Arrowpoint Stone: Northwest, located on his left pectoral (mirrors Wooyoung’s), Pigeon Blood Ruby

Eye Color: Brown(Natural)/ Heterochromatic Pink Right Eye, Lime Green Left Eye (Demonic Form)

Hair Color: Dark Brunette (Both Forms)

Likes: His space, Sitting in the Crow’s Nest, Drawing Maps, Weapons, Talking Shit

Dislikes: His family, Letting Too Many People Close to Him or Wooyoung, Mirrors, His Own Reflection

*The above artist rendition of Set is used courtesy of the game, Smite

Oldest Son, Choi San. 

Born the one and only son of a family of four, somehow didn’t gain him enough of his family’s respect-or love-growing up. San is actually the child of two aristocratic parents, something that clashed with his personal desire to be his own person. Rebelling for as long as he could walk, San grew to resent the tightening noose around his neck from his family and began running away more frequently from his family. 

They couldn’t even remember his own birthday, and he couldn’t be bothered to remember theirs. When the opportunity arose and he was forced aboard a pirate ship, the small voice on his shoulder told him as the shackles were placed onto his wrists and ankles, that he’d never see them again. 

San couldn’t help the quirk of his lips at the thought. 

Sailing Master Choi San

Suppressing his aristocratic side has never been so easy. Though standoffish at first, San has had the opportunity to prove himself as a new, useful man. For once, he finally understands what a ‘family’ is and how it feels to be ‘loved’. Wooyoung was the first to make him feel like more than a burden on the people around him, and to this day, while he loves all of the members and his lovers in his own way, Wooyoung will always be his first love and one of the first ones he’ll ever turn to when he’s in trouble. 

With a pencil in hand and the sea breeze blowing his bangs, San can finally draw his own future and feel peace knowing he is loved by those around him. 

-Mythology-

Set, also known as Seth, is the Egyptian God of the desert, storms, chaos, and violence. Depictions and understandings of them vary depending on who’s drawing, writing, or viewing him, but he has been represented as a male figure with a humanoid body and an animal head like many other Egyptian gods and goddesses were. Such animals he has been depicted as include several canines, including jackals, fennecs, and greyhounds. He has also been depicted as having a donkey, okapi, aardvark, antelope, or oryx’s face, instead. The inconsistency of his figure in Egyptian depictions is also believed to stem from Set himself being more like a chimeric being who changes his forms. 

Set, like many other Egyptian gods, can change his forms into several animals, and also has a form to mimic the appearance of the god Anubis. 

A destructive force of nature and often regarded as a trickster, Set was credited for creating natural disasters such as sudden, flash flooding, sandstorms, and thunderstorms. He is considered to be one of the mightiest of the Egyptian gods.

Egyptian familial trees are often complex and overlap, but some depictions of him and his family, Geb and Nut are his parents, with Osiris, Horus, Isis, and Nephthys being his siblings and Ra being his grandfather. In other depictions, Horus and Anubis are his nephews and in some, Anubis is his illegitimate child after disguising himself as Osiris and courting Isis. 

One of the driving factors of many of Set’s tales is his burning jealousy and rage, especially towards his brother Osiris.

Set was apparently the only of his siblings that didn’t have a traditional birth. Some say he tore himself from his mother’s womb, others say she spat him into existence and this was believed to foretell his existence of a being of chaos and disorder. 

At one point, his brother Osiris, known to be a benevolent king that brought positive changes to the lands he ruled and graced, left out of his kingdom’s reach to help in other areas of the world, and as such, appointed his wife Isis to rule the lands in his stead. 

While he was away, Set would set into motion the of the largest scaled affair in all of Egyptian mythology, an event that included many of the Pantheon’s major players in some way shape or form. 

After conspiring against him with several others, Set would end up trapping and murdering Osiris. Not content with simply killing him, Set eventually tears Osiris to pieces, tossing his remains all across Egypt in another attempt to keep him from ever being whole again. Isis managed to find all of the pieces of her husband despite Set’s efforts. Well, most of the pieces. 

She never located his dick, so that’s fun. She replaced it with a golden one, though! Yay innovation!

Through the use of magic, Isis managed to revive Osiris, though he would never rule in his original kingdom ever again, and would instead be in the Underworld. 

Set tried several times to steal Osiris’ body from the underworld, and each time was punished severely for his intrusion by the jackal-headed god of the dead, Anubis. Eventually, after repeated attempts, Anubis grew tired of the chaotic desert god and killed Set once and for all.

Despite his chaotic and volatile actions, Set did have moments of redemption. In the afterlife, Set protected the great Sun God, Ra, from the serpent Apophis as Ra embarked on his daily journey through the Underworld. Set placed himself in front of Ra’s barque and would attack and kill Apophis every time he would rise to attack Ra. The serpent could be killed, but would rise again the very next day. 

Set would be there to slay it night after night, thus granting Ra safe passage and being one of the reasons the sun rises each day.

-Power Applications/Demon Transformation-

As Set is one of the more violent of the gods that the boys have inherited their powers from, San’s fighting style has remained just as violent and wild. When he is fully imbued with the effects of his powers, his eyes go bright pink and lime green. His lips turn into an onyx color and runes appear across his face, from his forehead, all the way to his chin. 

San’s blood manipulation allows him to turn any blood around him into a weapon, be it a series of daggers to propel through the air, or his go-to favorites, a large spear or scythe for attacking. Despite his aristocratic upbringing, San is incredibly good at hand to hand combat and isn’t afraid to fight ’dirty’. He’s only gotten more proficient at fighting without his powers thanks to Yunho taking the time to teach him capoeira. 

San’s runes only appear when he begins using his blood manipulation, and he prefers to use other people's blood, as too much blood loss from himself may still make him pass out and leave him prone in battle. He also has a few light blades weapons from Wooyoung he uses when there hasn't been any bloodshed on the battlefield yet, but if push comes to shove, he's not opposed to asking the slightly younger immortal to cut into him. 

-Character Song Breakdown-

All of the main boys have a song assigned to them in the AtT playlist to go alongside their origin chapters. San's song, which he shares with Wooyoung, is Mist by Ateez. I will go over some spoiler things, but if you made it this far, you may know this already.

Mist is used as an in-story device that goes over Wooyoung and San’s budding relationship and them coping with the uncertainty of life while being prisoners aboard a slave ship. 

-If I can’t see anything 

If I can feel you, I’m fine 

I want you to make me sure 

I need you to help me out of my misery 

I can see the light in the dark, 

It quickly blurs 

Step back in place.-

San spends the majority of his life feeling isolated and alone. He had no friends, as his mother’s aristocratic status left him with limited options for people he could make friends with. His sisters resented him as much as he did the entirety of his family, and he usually kept to himself. His general dislike and distrust for those around him persist until he meets Wooyoung, and it’s through the other boy’s positive outlook on life that San slowly begins to understand that not everyone in the world is out to get him.

- Lost and wandering hands again 

Hold me and hug me 

Your whisper is my compass 

Even if we’re going back for a long time 

Stay with me, always 

I’m not sure. I don’t know the way 

I’m just Like Alley Cat without you....-

 

San doesn’t know what it means to love, be it platonic or otherwise until he meets Wooyoung. He has a disposition much like that of a feral and volatile alley cat due to what he went through all through life, but it’s through Wooyoung-and eventually Hongjoong and the crew-that he’s guided towards the more positive aspects of life.

They soon become his new moral compass.

-Character Blurb-

“You’re just like the other pirates. I won’t let you take away the only person that’s ever loved me.”

San’s eyes grew as he watched his body move against his own will. The runes on his face gleamed and pulsed with chaotic energy as he attacked Seonghwa and Hongjoong, laughing maniacally and screaming about them giving Wooyoung back. Across from him, two eyes gleamed in the darkness. 

He stepped away, his foot sinking into the sand that was below his feet. 

A snort came from the figure, as he approached, his blade dragging through the sand. 

“Long lives those who are strong. How strong are you, cowering under something as fruitless as ‘love’? I choose you because you are full of rage, you have all I need to take back this world and get my revenge. Give in, it’ll all be over soon.”

“San!”

San looked behind him, eyes wide as he saw Wooyoung. No, he had to get out of there, he couldn’t-

 

“It’ll all be over soon.” The figure repeated, and in a gush of sand and wind, he saw his body fly forward and a blade of blood sliced into Yunho. San screamed inside his head as the dark figure controlled his body, eyes gleaming in malice as he raised a blood sword. 

“Rid yourself of such fruitless emotions and useless people. Let it all wash away in the sand and blood. I’ll do you this one favor. Then, this body will be mine.”

“So please,

If this is my way

Hold my hand

So we won’t wander for much longer…”

The sound of Wooyoung’s voice finally spurred San to action and he sprinted forward before the large being could kill Yunho. He snatched a small blade from his hip and buried it into his back with a scream. Blood splattered onto his cheek and the large man tossed him aside, pink and green eyes turning on him as he broke into a run towards San, a scream of rage and pain rattling in the sandy area inside San’s mind. 

San threw his hands up, and the blood from the being’s wounds sharpened, impaling him from all sides before his claws could slice into San’s face.

His hand trembled as he let out a growl. 

“No! Not...Not again…!”

San stood, feeling himself regaining control as the dark dessert began to fade away from his vision. Before he completely regained his senses, he looked back at the dying entity, his lips pressed into a firm frown and his fists clenched. 

“I’m my own person. I have no strings on me. Not anymore.”

-M.List-

[giranswife]

The Confession (pt 2)

Summary: It’s been a little while since Giran confessed his feelings, and Ash finally found the perfect moment that she wanted to tell him. Bringing him to a spot that meant a lot to her when she was on her own, and something that she was finally able to let go of thanks to him. Giving her the confidence to finally let go and fall in love.

W: self insert, self ship, self insert x canon, fluff, slight suggestive mention, mild alcohol mention

Disclaimer: This fic includes my self-insert/oc that is shipped with a canon character. Ash is my self insert/oc.

(( Here’s part two! It kind of wraps up Ash’s development in a cute little bow, without giving too many details since I want to do that properly in fics that I have planned. And I’m very sorry that they are both so freaking cheesy, but I absolutely love it XD ))

Part One

She wasn’t sure what came over her. But the night was going so well, and honestly… she couldn’t stop smiling. After spending most of the time being so vulnerable and open, she was starting to see why this time felt different. She couldn’t see it entirely before because of her past. Everything was new and exciting, and no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t see any of it coming.

But that didn’t scare her away. In fact, it was the entire reason why she was falling for him in the first place. She was content with the fact that she couldn’t wrap her head around him at first. The mystery is what kept her coming back. Not just of him but also of their relationship entirely. Wanting to know him more and wanting to know where this would lead.

Then, there was the sense of comfortability that came from being with him. She never felt like she had to be something that she wasn’t, even the parts of her that others would run away from. The parts of her that everyone used to make her feel bad for. It never felt like baggage to be herself, and he never once made her question anything.

And tonight when she was sharing vulnerable parts about herself, he was just… there for her. He listened and he didn’t judge her for her past, because how in the hell could he? He understood her in ways that not a lot of people could. There was so much comfort in not only the lives that they lived but just the way that he made her feel.

Ash took him to one of her favorite spots that she’s never really showed anyone. It wasn’t really romantic either, but it held some sentimental value. That and it had some history, which she was planning on opening up about. And it was a little bit of a surprise, which she thought was cute given that he’s always surprising her. But it was the perfect way to open up, in a way that she should have a long time ago.

He knew some parts about her, but he didn’t know everything. She kept some things in the dark, mainly because she was afraid of how he’d see her. But tonight she was changing that, especially after he had opened up to her not that long ago. It just felt like they were at that place that she trusted him with her life.

“Should I be worried about where you’re taking me?”

Ash laughed, turning around to see the smirk on Giran’s face as he tossed his cigarette onto the ground.

“Maybe… don’t you know better than to follow someone to such a quiet and private place in the middle of the night?” She teased, “I mean… this is textbook shit, isn’t it?”

The smile that grew onto her face was breathtaking. Just the perfect amount of sexy and beautiful to make anyone’s head spin. And the way she bit her lip was just as tempting as everything else about her was.

It had been a month since he told her how he felt about her, and ever since then it’s been incredibly hard to keep from coming on too strong. Ash is the kind of woman who’s also hard to pinpoint, but only because she hasn’t been honest with herself. She’s exciting and strong willed, but she can also be easy to scare. He knew that it had something to do with her past, but with little to go on, he's been a little too hesitant.

Which is funny considering how in any other way he hasn’t held back.

But Ash has always been a fucking powerhouse. With any other person that could be intimidating, but it’s one of the reasons that he fell in love with her. Hell the first day they met she was probably the most intense and erupting human he’s ever met. And he’s met quite a lot of characters in his life.

None of them seemed to beat her, though. Because even through all of that personality and impulsiveness, she had a heart like no one else. When she cared about someone she’d do anything in her power to protect them. She holds a lot of herself inside, the hard outer shell a way to keep people away. To keep people at a distance. Those who really wanted to stay would willingly get to know the real Ash.

She tilted her head, noticing that he wasn’t fully paying attention to her words.

“Right? Did I lose you there, Babe?” She asked with a giggle at the end of her sentence.

Her tail swished behind her, and she continued to walk backwards on the edge of the sidewalk like a pro.

“You’re right,” He played along, eyeing the movements of her hips and not even caring that she noticed, “Shouldn’t trust a woman this sexy and not expect any strings.”

“Oh, shut up. I’m not that sexy.”

She was flirting. Knowing that he was going to come back stronger. She knew that she was attractive, and she knew what affect those hips had on him.

“Sexiest fuckin’ woman I’ve ever seen.”

“Now, you’re lying. But I like it.”

Winking playfully, she stopped a little and kissed him softly. It was only one, but it was enough to linger even after she pulled away. This woman was impossible, and she had no idea the true validity of her intoxication. It may not look like it on the outside, but she truly had him wrapped around her finger. Everything that she did just proved that point over and over again.

The way that her laugh sounded like fucking music to his ears, and the look of her smile when she wasn’t forcing it. Her happiness was like a drug, which is why he was constantly trying to make her happy and keep her happy. Everything felt so much better when she was happy and comfortable and safe.

Ash really didn’t know the power that she had over him. At all.

“This have anything to do with where you’re taking me? Find some place interesting to have your way with me.”

She laughed out loud, walking again ahead of him and throwing her head back in a rather dramatic way.

“Fuck I love how bold you are! Course your mind would go straight to that you horny bastard.”

But she bit her lip, obviously thinking about it herself.

“Well, yah bring me to a suspicious location like this and I’m inclined to believe it’s for sex or-”

“Something much more sinister? If I was going to do something to you, then I would have done it already.”

The look in her eyes was seductive and smooth. If it weren’t for her having a surprise for him, Giran would’ve shoved her against the nearest wall and turned this night into something else entirely. But she knew what she was doing. She had to have been with those shorts on this cold late-afternoon and that smile on her face.

“But don’t worry,” She said as she turned a corner and motioned with her head for him to follow, “Have I ever steered you wrong before?”

Her eyebrows wiggled, and she let out a loud laugh.

Using his own words from the past against him. She was a clever woman, he’d always give her that. Clever and sexy. Complete package, and yet she was still surprising him with more every goddamn day. How in the hell did he ever get this lucky to end up with her?

They were definitely going somewhere he wasn’t too familiar with. This part of town was one that he hadn’t been in a while, and the stairs that she took was also one that a person wouldn’t find unless they knew the building. At first he was a little confused, but decided not to ask since she was so excited to surprise him.

This was the first time that she’s ever been this excited. A little nervous from the way her tail swished, but mainly just excited. It was adorable, to be honest. This place clearly was one that she’s been to before, and he was honestly a little intrigued. He knew that she brought wine from the bag that was in her hands, which meant that wherever they were going she planned on staying for a while.

Whenever they reached the roof, she opened the door and held it out for him, the sound of her boots clicking against the floor. She smiled a little, dragging him over to a spot where she’s been several times before. So many times that there were scuff marks from her boots and drawings that she had doodled when she was bored. A lot of memories were made on this rooftop, not a lot of them were the best, but some made her who she was today.

“It’s not much,” She said, outstretching her arms when they reached the small little corner, “But this is my safe place. Or… was… a long time ago.”

“What’d you come here to do?”

“Oh, y’know… Smoke, drink, think, fuck. Just kinda somewhere I can go when shit was too much for me. The city was also pretty to look at, and I can just watch everyone else fuck about their lives.”

She pulled out the bottle of wine and sat down on the ground, crossing her ankles underneath her and motioning for him to follow.

“Sit with me. Or are you worried about messing up that suit I told you not to wear.”

She chuckled softly, her teasing smile growing on her face the more comfortable she became.

It was all coming back to her the moment that she sat down, looking out at the city in front of her and the lights of the nightlife. The sun had just set, and it was a rather beautiful color in the sky with the stars coming out slowly. She wondered if this was a good idea at first, but given that they were closer than ever… she really wanted to show him every part of her. Even the not so good parts.

Plus, this place was special to her. It was the one place that she could be away from everything when the entire world seemed too much. Because the wilderness was nice, but she realized how much she hated the silence. Not to mention it was usually a trip, and she tended to link coming here since it was easy to come up here and get lost in the moment.

Giran rolled his eyes at her comment, but obliged her request.

“Don’t worry, if you need help getting up I’ll gladly leave you here all night.”

She winked, popping open the wine without so much as a hesitation.

“Like to see yah try.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

Ash took a sip from the wine, leaning back on her palms and watched the sun finally disappear on the horizon. It was really nice for the two of them to sit there and be together. There was a lot that she wanted to say, but she also just wanted to enjoy the silence with him some more. This was about more than just him seeing a different side of her. It was also a date.

Breathing a sigh, she offered the bottle to him and shifted a little closer. It didn’t really bother her that she forgot to bring glasses, considering it’s not the first time that she’s just had the bottle. It was pretty much her fucking staple at this point. But it honestly spoke to the moment, given that she would do something similar in the past when coming up here.

“I’ve had this spot for a long time,” She said, “Since before… what happened before I joined the league…”

Her voice trailed off, and she knew that she didn’t want to talk about it again. He already knew that part of her, but tonight she wanted to bring up a lot happier things. Nothing that was going to ruin the mood that was already set in the beginning. After all, she was leading up to things that were important and that she wanted him to hear.

“I have a lot of good memories here, and I wanted to bring you here. Since I haven’t really been here since I joined the league. You’re the only one I’ve brought here that was… important to me.”

She hesitated a little, but once she said it her cheeks turned a little red. Opening up was always hard for her, and for some reason it was just as difficult to admit how she felt. But she was determined to move past that. They’ve grown so much together, and she wanted things to be different with him. She wanted to be open and honest and allow herself to fall for him the right way.

Even if she was scared and worried, there was so much good happening here. She didn’t want to let all the things of the past ruin it.

“Sorry if you were expecting something more,” She said.

“It’s fine, Princess. Nice to see a part of you.”

She smiled warmly, taking back the bottle of wine and having another long sip.

“Also nice to hear I’m important to you.”

Rolling her eyes, she laughed and leaned her body against his. Her cheeks were warm, but there was nowhere to hide. Even her hair that she usually used as a curtain in times like this was blowing from the subtle wind. But it was actually a good thing, because she was even more adorable when her cheeks were getting redder and redder.

“You are important to me, and I think it’s only fair that you get to know this side of me too. I don’t really need to come here anymore, because you kinda… are my safe place now? If that makes any sense.”

Ash was getting a little embarrassed to say this out loud. She didn’t want to seem like she was dependent on him in any way, but she was also hoping her words would speak for itself. She’s never been the best with this kind of thing, and she gets way more nervous than she expected. But she was extremely happy.

“Oh yeah?”

She nodded, pursing her lips and taking a small sip of the wine.

“Since being with you and having like… friends… it’s been… I don’t really rely on this place much anymore. It’s kind of weird, because I didn’t realize that I needed this place as much as I did back then. It seems kind of ridiculous saying this out loud, but… I didn’t really have anybody else to fall back on. So I came here to remind myself that as long as I had myself I was… I was okay.”

Chugging on more of the wine, her face got a little serious and she did what she really didn’t want to do. Change the mood.

“It does sound pretty ridiculous now that I’m thinking about it,” She mumbled.

“It’s not ridiculous, baby girl. I understand completely.”

“You do? Well.. uh.. That’s good.”

She felt Giran’s hand touch her chin, and her smile came back to her face.

“Yah don’t have to feel ridiculous for sharing a part of yourself with me. I told yah I loved you, and I meant that. Every part of you.”

That was the first time that she’s really ever heard anyone tell her that. It meant a lot more than he realized, and she tried hard to hide it. But that was incredibly hard to do when her emotions were already incredibly high. And he knew her better than anyone.

Swallowing hard, she sat down the bottle beside her and leaned her head against his shoulder. It was a way for her to smile to herself, hiding her face in the material of his coat and feeling the pressure of her cheeks from how happy she was. It was a feeling that she honestly never wanted to let go of. And all she knew to do was sit and smile.

“Thank you,” She said, “I’ve kinda… rehearsed this a lot since I planned this whole thing. I didn’t want you to think that I was… I don’t know what I was thinking. It just means a lot to me that you listen, I haven’t really been able to let go because I was scared. I guess. Of being dependent on someone and giving someone the power to hurt me… again…”

She was being honest, maybe a little too honest. But it was the most honest that she’s been in a long time. Giran knew pretty much what was holding her back, but hearing her say it out loud was a big step for her. It’s one of the reasons why he was giving her space, to let her figure it all out on her own. 

Saying it all out loud really helped her come to terms with what was making it hard for her to fully trust him. Deep down she knew that she would do anything and everything for this man, and knowing that he loved her made everything feel more real. And she wanted to love him in return, she just needed a little bit more time to figure out what she wanted. What she expected and to finally realize how far she’s come.

To not be afraid to let him see every part of her. Because he’d love her regardless of it all. He’s already proved that enough.

“I know that’s kinda not fair to you, but… it also wasn’t fair to me keeping this all to myself. It’s just you’re the first person that I have felt this way about. And I didn’t want it to be like the last time, even though I knew you wouldn’t do that. I just…”

Her voice trailed off, and she was losing her point very fast.

Giran shifted her hair from her shoulder, caressing her neck in a way he had done plenty of times in the past to calm her down. It was honestly the perfect gesture he could have done in that moment given how she was slowly losing her point. Not wanting to say the wrong thing, but also not knowing how to explain herself either.

“It’s okay. I’d never hurt you, Princess. I can promise yah that.”

“I know that… I feel safer with you than I have with anyone.”

“Good, that’s all I want.”

He cupped her face, rubbing his thumb against her cheekbone.

It warmed her heart to see the smile that he was giving her. So genuine and soft, making her head spin while her heart raced. She was truly falling deeper for him every single day, and this moment was clearing all of her thoughts. But she just couldn’t spit out the words that she wanted to so desperately.

“You’re the best fuckin’ thing to come into my life. I don’t want yah to ever forget how special you are. In fact, if I could get rid of every goddamn fool that’s hurt you, I would.”

She swallowed hard, hearing the seriousness in his tone. Having someone say that and mean it was more than she’d ever be able to wrap her head around. She’s never had someone want to protect her like this, but she trusted Giran with every bone in her body. He was the one man in her life that she knew without a shadow of a doubt that he wouldn’t hurt her.

“Giran…”

“I’m glad that you wanted to share this with me.”

Ash giggled a bit, leaning into his touch.

“I know that I haven’t really been the uh… the best person to deal with sometimes, but I promise that I want to be with you. I’m ready to let you have all of me… no more hesitations and no more hiding behind all these walls. ‘Cause I trust you, and I mean that.”

He chuckled, kissing her forehead in such a way that made her cheeks burn.

“I…” Ash opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn’t seem to get out the words still.

It would be so perfect, but it just wasn’t the right time right now. Her heart just wouldn’t let her say it, and he noticed the small amount of hesitation on her face. Instead of watching her struggle, he pulled her into a soft kiss. One that made her head feel light and her chest flutter, but she was relieved that he wasn’t rushing her still.

Instead of pulling away, she climbed into his lap and continued kissing him. Deepening the kiss and lacing her fingers through his hair, her lips curled into a smile. He grasped her hips, holding her still and close as she could get. But it still wasn’t close enough, and she noticed that with her arms around him.

A soft moan escaped her lips, muffled against his own. When she pulled away, it took a lot of holding back not to shove him down onto the ground. But the night was also still pretty young for that.

Giran rubbed her sides, listening to her soft giggles as she kissed his jawline.

“So… yah wanna make another memory up here?”

She slapped his chest gently in a playful manner, rolling her eyes as she nuzzled underneath his chin. With a laugh, he held her closer against his chest and felt her get comfortable and heavy in his arms. She listened to the sound of his heartbeat against her ear, closing her eyes and feeling the wind against her skin.

This was a much better memory to make, and it almost felt like a completely new chapter. Closing the book on the past and starting something fresh with him. All of these moments with him, talking about her past and letting go of all of her worries seemed to be just what she needed.

And she couldn’t wait for everything that was in store for them now that she was completely letting go on who she used to be.

Whenever they got home, it had already been very late into the night. But they got so lost in conversation that time seemed to pass by without them realizing it. Ash was a little tipsy in the beginning, but by the time they arrived at his apartment she was pretty sober. But it was also obvious that she had a calmer air about her.

She was still her happy self like she was earlier, but there was something different about the way that she carried herself. Her heart was light in her chest, and she felt like telling anyone that she saw what she was feeling. Ash was no longer afraid of the emotions that she felt, and there was no reason to hide it anymore.

So whenever she had walked passed Giran to get dressed for bed, the words slipped from her lips casually. The exact way that would be expected of her, given that she doesn’t like to call too much attention to things. Hoping that he wouldn’t call too much attention to it, but that was just wishful thinking.

“I love you,” She said, passing him by on her way to the bedroom.

She honestly should have known that she couldn't make a comment like that and walk away. Not whenever he’s been waiting patiently for her to finally say it in return. And after tonight it felt like the perfect end to it. There was no way that he was going to let her get away without him getting a proper confession.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

She might have said that with a smile on her face and a wave of her hand, but he knew better than to believe that. This was the same woman who said not to surprise her with things, but loved every god damn special occasion he made up to give her something. This was the kind of thing that she does, not wanting to be “cheesy” when in fact she definitely wants that.

Which is why whenever he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer, she let out a small yelp.

“I said not to make a big deal out of it!”

“Too bad. I want to hear it again-”

Ash let out a loud giggle, biting her bottom lip as her cheeks stained brighter.

She grasped both sides of his face, another giggle escaping as she pressed her body against his. It was cute that he was actually making a big deal out of it, clearly happy to hear her say it. Which she would have probably regretted had he not pulled her back. This was honestly a big deal for her, given that she’s never been in love before.

And it was also proving the point clear by the way that she smiled. Tonight was so amazing, and feeling the pain in her cheeks from smiling was only making her happier. She couldn't believe that she could ever be this happy, but she wouldn’t change it for the world.

“I love you,” She said again, loving it the second time, “So fucking much.”

He pulled her closer, kissing her softly and making her moan happily and contently. Immediately she melted into his arms, not caring that her face was about to explode from the heat alone. It just felt so right, and she had never been more in love in her life. Now that she felt confident to say that, she knew that she would be able to love him like he deserved.

Things may have felt a little different, but they felt that way for the better. She knew that deep within her heart as she deepened the kiss, knowing that she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. She was truly in love with this man in every sense of the word.