#i may seem delusional but it’s Mia

[weirdthinkingdragon]

I know it's really late, but yandere Ethan Winters. (He deserves better than Mia even before RE7, fight me.)

RE7Yandere Ethan Winters x reader/you

warnings: a few rather changed canon events, spoilers (kinda re8 spoilers too with one thing?), have a bit of buildup to living with him as yandere, clingy, unwanted touch, obsessive, bit of coercion, delusional behavior, sorta stockholm in a way?

(Before yandere) Ethan who you befriended while Mia was gone and offered to come with. You just had a bad feeling and didn't want him going alone. Somehow he agreed.

Cue you loyally following him and helping him every step of the way. You two watching out for each other and saving each other's asses on way more than just one occasion.

As time passes he slowly starts to feel as if he doesn't love Mia anymore. She still wouldn't tell him anything, and has kept many secrets from him in the past he eventually found out. He's having his doubts of why and how she's here even though she explained it before. The more he thinks of it, the more it feels like another lie. But you haven't lied to him. Kept serious secrets from him even if you were just friends. Even though he's only known you for like two years, you've shared everything with him. You were his rock, his staple to keep everything together when she was gone.

You never see Eveline, but Ethan does and she's not very happy of his slow change of heart. He starts latching onto you, always grabbing your hand whenever you both have to rush somewhere. Or even when it seems to be a minute breather of everything going on. You take it as him just making sure not to split up and lose each other.

That's partially true, but not fully. It's a constant, festering need that rapidly starts to grow in him to always feel you close. Even he himself at the beginning thought that it was worry you both would end up splitting up too. You're the only sane one around him besides Zoe, but she isn't physically around him in this hell. However, he quickly figures out and accepts the truth. He can't tolerate you no longer being around him.

It may be the place itself. It may be him. It may be some sort of fucked up trauma this place is giving him, or even a mix of all three. But none of it matters. Only you do at this point. He never felt as close with Mia as he feels with you now, and no longer even cares for her.

All he wants now is to get out of here with you. But he has no idea what way to get out of this hell, so he'll listen to Zoe until then. He does have a growing resentment for Mia though. Compared to you, he should have seen so many red flags from her in the past. And look now where that's made him and you end up. As a "gift" he's saving several 44 Magnum bullets he plans on using on them. Sure, it might not kill Mia anymore, but it sure as hell will at least slow her down for a while. He also doesn't like how aggressive she is on you compared to him. Sure, none of your limbs have been cut off, you haven't gotten any near-fatal injuries, but it's still bad she's targeted you first every time she comes back.

You two take a short rest break. You lean against his shoulder and end up falling asleep from the now lack of adrenaline rushing through your body.

He lets you. Zoe can wait. Lucas can for sure wait. Mia can definitely wait. It's only you who is important. He also takes the chance and injects you with the serum. You likely don't need it in the first place. He will not have Eveline trying to corrupt you. Try to take you from him. No. One. Can. He won't let them. He'll fight her with his dying breath if he has to as long as you make it out alive.

It eventually comes to a head of Zoe and Mia needing the serum.

Now he's thinking he should have waited until now to inject you to show Mia as a final "fuck you". Oh well. Doing it earlier guaranteed they couldn't swipe it from him if he tried to inject you then.

That's when you think of something. "Wait a minute. Would the serum even work?" The three look at you like you're crazy.

"Why would Eveline give the Baker's family the one thing that could kill her? She's likely not the only thing like her created. Could it be a fake from her knowing Zoe was searching?"

Now Zoe looks at you like you're stupid, while Mia looks like she had a terrifying realization. "That's a very far stretch."

Mia shakes her head, knowing she has to reveal what she's done. "No... It does."

Zoe sighs. "then it must be in the crashed ship they came on."

"the... what ship?" Ethan is trying real hard not to be upset right now. He injected you with a useless serum??

you all decide to get on the boat for now to go to the ship.

Things didn't go as planned as you guys crashed somehow at the ship, and Eveline took Ethan away.

You were wary of her from how many times she previously attacked you, but for now it really seemed she didn't want to. She admitted what she actually was, making you feel really bad for both her and Ethan.

She found the actual serum that will kill Eveline and gave it to you, yelling at Eveline all the while.

Eventually you and Mia find Ethan and work together to pull him out.

She manages to push you and Ethan out the door before closing it. He didn't put up much a resistance, just more confused what she was doing.

----------------------

It finally comes to a close when you and Ethan get in the helicopter, and you're relieved to see Mia. Ethan... He's not. Especially after finding out by you he was right. She WAS a part in all the hell Eveline caused, and was even her "handler". That just drastically furthered he doesn't want a thing to do with her anymore.

She took it hard he didn't want to start over with her. Even tried to manipulate him. Since he no longer loved her he could see the signs a mile away, making himself even more angry at his past self for ignoring all of her bad things.

It didn't work. But he did beg you to live with him for at least a while. You were pressured by the Blue Umbrella agreeing with him and wanting to keep a close eye on you two for a while. He was thrilled by his luck of them agreeing.

The clinginess came on FAST. Everywhere you went in the house, or anywhere out of the house, he followed you like a lost puppy. Watching a movie? you better cuddle up to him or he's wrapping his arm around your shoulders to have you lean on him.

The most uncomfortable to you was sharing the same bed, and him cuddling you then as well. You tried to take it again as him just traumatized from the events of before. You know you sure as hell are and still scrub yourself raw every shower remembering the textures of everything. And also feeling bad for him losing Mia. He told you they broke up.

One day out of the blue he started calling you pet names. Hasn't even been a month when he started doing that. You weren't into that type of thing with a friend, and told him to knock it off.

It didn't work. He just became more adamant on it. He wanted to be with you. He absolutely loves you and every single little thing about you.

Now that blew you away. He's gotta be out of his mind. You try to ask Blue Umbrella to move, but they deny. It's as if they don't want you from him either. They don't. They know what he is but thought it would be better not to tell him. They comply to what he wants though to keep him stable. And to run tests on him, which he complies with it that will keep them making you stay with him. He doesn't think that way though.

In some sort of twisted logic in his mind, he doesn't think they're making you stay with him. You just need a little persuasion to realize how you really feel.

It's much more than persuasion though. More like light coercion by the Blue Umbrella. Warnings you'd never get to see your friends or family again did it. Now you can, but Ethan has to be with you, and you absolutely cannot tell them anything of what happened.

You hate to admit it, but as time went on, you started to love Ethan back, craving the constant touches. His constant words of praise, love, adoration, and anything else possible slowly broke your resolve of refusing to love him from it feeling wrong. He almost seemed to worship the floor you walked on, catered everything to you. Spoiled you with everything possible, and with the money given by Umbrella, anything was on affordable range.

You eventually surprise him with a kiss on his lips, sealing your fate together with him further. But hey, at least you're both happy now.

[yanderes-galore]

One character that i find really interesting in Resident Evil is Mia Winters, and it's not even when she was infected by mold. For starters, Mia isn't exactly a victim (not as much as the others in the game). She was a bioterrorist that worked for The Connections and she knew what Eveline was and what she could do. Mia may not have designed Eveline, but she helped transport her to her destination, which led to the events of the game. So, Mia is responsible for the deaths of all the ship's crew, the Bakers, all the family victim's and Ethan himself, but she still got away with it in the end. So, could you write a general concept for Mia? You can add the infected version, but i think she has more dept in her normal form.

I'll try, sure. It won't be that long but I will say what I think of her.

Yandere! Mia Winters Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Stalking, Picture taking, Human experimentation, Delusional behavior, Dubious companionship/relationship.

I will agree that is not the best person.

She lied so much during the story.

While she did care for Ethan, she lied to him many times.

She lied about what she was doing, she lied to lure him, she even lied about him not being a mold creature.

That's barely even covering the fact she was transporting Eveline.

Eveline was a developed bioweapon meant to sneak behind enemy lines and was meant to be transported to testing grounds.

Mia choosing to do such a job, even if the pay was good or she was doing the right thing, is a dark thing to do morally.

Despite all of that, I would still say she's a subtle yandere if I had to make her yandere.

She's primarily just manipulative, even before the mold.

I could also say she's delusional in the way she's thinking.

She may think she's doing the right thing when it comes to lying to you.

She was married to Ethan prior to RE7 (iirc), and still lied to him.

You think she's going to tell her obsession the truth?

She knows the truth would drive them away from her, then she can't have them anymore.

She'd hide her obsessive tendencies... and if they were some sort of experiment, she'd hide that too

Mia would fabricate your entire life if it meant you stayed by her side as your yandere.

Does she feel guilt? Maybe a little.

However, Her own feelings often trump any regret she feels.

I feel Mia would hate being alone more than anything.

She'd want you to be by her side and for you two to care for one another.

Even if it means your whole relationship has been based on lies.

She'd lie to you as a friend and lie to you as a lover.

She'd be delusional, uncaring if she's leading you into a web of lies.

In terms of what she'd actually do other than fabricate your life...

She'd socially isolate you in fear of others knowing the truth and saying something.

She has a photo album of pictures she took when you didn't know.

She has a journal and audio recordings she uses as ways to vent her obsession.

She definitely isn't one to outright kill unless it has something to do with the mold.

That's fine, not all yanderes involve murder, that's something I've come to learn when writing.

Sometimes they just need to do something overly toxic or worse.

I'd say her lying and manipulating is its own form of scary.

Mostly because, if you ever learned of her lies, the trust issues you get afterwards is enough to make you distrust anyone.

How would you know if anything is true after that?

Hiding her obsessive behavior is bad enough, honestly.

But if she was hiding the fact you were an experiment or infected with something?

Just so she could keep you as hers?

It may not seem that bad compared to other yanderes...

But it will still mess you up psychologically when she cages you in her home, promising all she does is for the best.

[bluginkgo]

Welp, ep7 didn't kill me! ... the depression post ep might- (Theories/Rambles)

Anyways! Ep7 oh boy, it was full of surprises even for me. The animation, the intense battle scenes, everything about it was AMAZING! Of course, that's just my opinion :3 (feel free to yeet it into the stratosphere)

Get ready for word diarrhea and some shaky and loose thoughts on the ending and what may happen next. Fair warning, my theories are pretty wacky, so somethings may sound way out there. XD

Spoilers duh, oh and gore warning? Kinda?

I mean... that scary *ss mother facking thing towards the end- you know what I'm talking about if you watched the ep 😅

This puzzled me a bit, but the more I thought about it, I suppose the more it makes sense (give me a hot minute, I'm slow ok 😅).

The lockers act as a storage container for the solver drones. But what about the image from ep6? It seemed like they had free reign over the office and could come and go. Even as far as a sentinel cuddling up to Nori. But that's the thing. Later we see that Nori and Yeva were the only ones that have been the MOST successful with the absolute solver experimentation. The others, were either corrupted or were unaffected.

That means, in the time that the patches were given to the drones experimented on, was the time that they were allowed to be in the office. But as the patches and experimentation progressed, they were moved down for more security.

Soooo V. What are my thoughts on her and her whereabouts? The shot of the hall with the sentinels did not make it into the ep. Sure, it is probably fairly easy for them to get that shot. Especially if they kept the rig of the hall, throw around some sentinel bodies, and make the light go out. But this lack of V is what's making me still believe she's out there. Delusional, I know. But we don't get to see her eldrich form. This is the Absolute Solver that has been chilling in the labs, and simply recreates the hologram of all the drones it was ever a part of.

If V does not return by ep8, then I will lay her to rest properly. Until then, I'm marking her as MIA. She may be out there, she may not.

Alright, so the crucifix is also recounted as "failsafe USB (606b)" or at least that's how I see it, given the crucifix is just one fancy usb.

Now, the other time we did see the 606 was in the beginning of ep5.

wdOS_606 is basically the code that kills the drone and its core. So, effectively, that crucifix works as a kill code for the absolute solver. The timeline of events probably happened like this: Nori was showing signs of the Absolute Solver progressing much faster than any other drone the teams have worked with. One time, Nori went Absolute Solver crazy, the placement of the image that is also seen in ep6 suggests that this was the first or one of the first times Nori went rogue. The teams then decided to contain her better and suspended her by the chains, all the while waiting for the failsafe USB to be completed. At least, that was the plan. "Don't all die and almost let it out again lol. We're pretty mad but mostly scared about that." subtitle backs it up.

Now this.

This entire sequence seems rather interesting. Absolute Solver, at its best, understands emotions on logical level. Its more like a math equation for it. As in: Bad things happen = changed and more subdued personalities. But with N, I suppose it found it rather interesting to watch him. Despite all of the bad experiences he may have had, he remained his happy self. The solver even went as far as quoting him.

That type of innocence, despite the horrors he has seen and committed, most likely amused the solver. So it allowed the team to retain those personalities and traits- also knowing that it could easily get rid of them if it really wanted to.

Uzi's administration rights still hold up. It seems that in this moment, the solver attempted to completely corrupt N and have him as a mindless drone that followed orders. Buuuut Uzi's admin rights denied that, saving him from becoming the solver's puppet and being what he was back on Earth during the massacre of humans.

Eating is often referred to in this episode. Seems that I was somewhat right in regards to the Absolute Solver being the core of Copper-9 now. It has grown rather large, and taken possession of the entire planet. To maintain that, it needs sustenance. Be it in form of biological and mechanical life, or the planet itself.

So J destroyed the only means of getting off the planet, and the possibility of saving themselves or the planets for the gang- of course there's still the pod that J is using, but that will not be given up without a fight.

The issue here I have is... to whom did J give her loyalty to? Couple theories:

To Tessa- J has NO idea this is not Tessa, and is following her old boss just like in the days of the manor.

To Absolute Solver- J knows this is not Tessa, but still is loyal to it.

Issue: If number 1 is correct, then why follow through the plan with destroying the pod? It seems that was the case all along when Tessa told J to "mind her ship." Furthermore confusing to me is her comment.

Tessa: Her (Cyn) last known act was siccing you lot on other human exo-planets.

N: But why?

J: That's what we're trying to figure out, bozo.

J's line can be taken both ways. As 1- J is actually trying to figure out why Cyn is acting up. As for 2- this was simply a cover up for the whole plot.

It seems here that the drones that were previously worked on simply stayed in their lockers and their corrupted form. But that was something that made me wonder. The drones were all corrupted with the Absolute Solver to some degree. They were all given patches of the solver- some had effect and others didn't. But that still means that there were a lot of drones that had their cores corrupted and look like Heart. Here's the question.

Why didn't they simply leave? Nori's corrupted core is fully sentient, despite being possessed by the solver the most. Of course, there is the possibility that whatever Nori created in the cathedral simply took those cores and dragged them into the center. Further growing itself. Ah, well I kind of answered my own question there.

So the largest number I could count was 129 on this list. Meaning, there were at least 129 drones experimented on. Seems to follow the crazy theory I had of the Absolute Solver taking control of the core. 129 minus 2 (Nori and Yeva) cores will definitely make a great impact/engrave itself into the planet in such a way and thus manifest the corridors of flesh and hands that go all to the way to Cabin Fevers camp ground.

It also seems that the Absolute Solver, instead of being injected straight into the drones, was done in patches. Now, my knowledge in computer language and science is non-existent, but it does make me wonder. Yeva has 2.1.8 patch, while Nori was still "in progress." This either implies:

Nori had a newer patch and this was the one that caused her to go so berserk they had to restrain her in the cathedral.

Nori did not have a new patch, the one that Yeva has was the latest one and Nori simply was not faring well in the transition.

Something I noticed/finally grasped on my 3rd watch through:

Who the hell is "they?" Well, my tired brain finally decided to kick in and work. "They" were the scientists. So the crucifix was something that the humans only now figured out how to make. The kill code that would put the Absolute Solver down. That was why the Solver was on Copper-9. It needed that crucifix, so it could get rid of it. "They kept cutting my feed." Most likely referred to when the hosts would become possessed by the solver. Just as seen with Nori, the second they went crazy, it was a quick shut down, thus cutting the feed for the Absolute Solver as it tried to figure out what they were doing.

So, just as many have theorized, Nori did cause the core collapse, but not in the way that I expected it. It's rather funny that instead of this being like a full Absolute Solver possession that caused this on purpose, was simply one bad event after another. And I love the show for this. Despite having the route that the Absolute Solver could have just imploded the planet on purpose and on its own (by possessing a host), it was instead a sequence of events that is similar to humans and their downfall. Nothing orchestrated, but just a compiling effect that created one huge problematic black hole.

So this page does give some insight. The Absolute Solver sent DDs to wipe out the other solver hosts. (I'll touch on this in a different post) And the DDs were either referred to as "pets" by the Absolute Solver (which is more likely, as it called Uzi a "puppet") or a term that Nori coined. "Puppet hosts with nerfed ___ the entity-ensures control" The nerfed ___ is most likely their cores/thought process. As in, Administration CYN is what nerfed their abilities to remember anything regarding their past, and used that to control the DDs.

This was something I couldn't kind of settle with. Events wise, it can be assumed this is all happening at the same time. Just as Uzi is getting through the mine shafts and picking up the lantern, Tessa is blowing up the computer and nomming on Doll, and N is being dragged through corpse walls and being saved by Heart.

It was Doll- Although, the more I looked at this thought, the less likely this became. Doll's was intact when she came to warn Uzi, and stayed there until Tessa entity ate it towards the end of the episode. We have yet to see an instance where a core entered the Absolute Solver form and returned back to the core form without taking any damage. Specifically in J's case, the solver form was blown up and only then returned to the core form. Nothing was in the mine shafts that could have possibly injured it enough to go back to the core form and sneak back into Doll's body.

Tessa...uhh whatever the fack she is- Based off of Doll's getting attacked scene, the entity seems to have a rather quick ability in switching forms. So I wouldn't put past it that the entity attacked Doll, saw that another part of the Absolute Solver was trying to chase N down, and just went along with the rest of the solver to hunt him down.

On my first watch through, I was worried that N would go crazy from breaking rule 1 of robotics: Not to injure humans. Granted, in the first watch through, everything went so fast that I barely had any time to grasp anything. After the second watch through, it becomes quite clear and apparent. The Absolute Solver took the rules of robotics out of the DDs. I mean, how else were they supposed to attack and kill the humans back on Earth. Furthermore, Tessa was not a human. So even if N did still have the rules of robotics programmed into him, they might not have set off. Why the "might not?" Because of the sentinel. Perhaps because the sentinels were created by humans, their ai is much simpler, but when that dingo bit Tessa, it had an aneurysm. It detected blood, and thus, the ai deduced that the sentinel just injured a human and decided to alt f4 itself. Would the same happen with N? I'm not quite sure. Given that the solver programmed the DDs, it could be either instance: Take the rules out completely or enhance the rules so that blood isn't what triggers the rule breaking.

This is something that made me wonder. Did the DD trio go to any other exo-planets previously? I took this scene in two ways:

This has happened before. The solver knows that N will continue to forgive the Absolute Solver because something similar has happened before. As in, the solver is out to kill a planet, it does that, but in return sacrifices any DDs that might have been there to get rid of the potential solver hosts. The backups are booted and sent to a new planet.

This is the first time this happened, but the solver has previous experiences. Just as the solver had made N forget about his time in the mansion and the bloodbath of killing humans, it can do the same thing. Kill N, and make his backup version forget this ever happened.

This one single frame made me wonder a bit too hard. The little nulls I assumed to be miniature and contained blackholes. But then when N dove under one... there was collision? A black hole, as far as I understand (which isn't very much ;w;), is something that cannot be touched. It warps time and space, so how are you supposed to be able to touch it? But I'm quite sure my tired brain is just thinking too much about simple details.

For some odd reason, I always thought that the solver wings were more flesh, and thus couldn't take too much damage. Proven wrong again! Uzi withstood N's firing and her wings came out undamaged.

Main question for me: Why would the Absolute Solver eat the core? Specifically in drone form/possessing a host. If it was the hole that's in the cathedral, I can understand that somewhat better. But what does a solver drone gain from eating another corrupted core?

Perhaps acts as a power boost? Whatever the corrupted core can do, the powers are transfered uhh... somehow?

Simply sustenance, and a way to get rid of Heart, you're thinking too deep into this Ginkgo (more likely option) Plus, backed up by Tessa entity eating Doll's core and being unaffected. Perhaps it just remains in the body as a source of energy.

IC-0n IS THAT YOU?! XD But in all seriousness, this scene was intense. The animation, the music and sound effects, the lines, everything was executed perfectly and created the monstrosity that may or may not haunt my nightmare tonight :3

My first thought was, "OH YOU! YOU FINALLY SHOWED UP! ...... GO AWAY!" This entity... uh I'm not quite sure what to call it yet, has been teased all the way back to the poster. And I would like to bring back something I said a bit while back. "What if the double x'ed character is someone we already know... but is dead? A character that is confirmed/somewhat confirmed to be dead can return back to life, and their body forced to move by the absolute solver." (I will be delving deeper into debunking this in another post.) Welp, that does it. I had the idea, just didn't know who the fack it was. XD So we get a drone, wearing Tessa's skin.

In hindsight, there was a big fat foreshadowing that I took for granted. This thing.

The drone body is a WD, and clear as day 1001 written on the core. What does it mean? Ah well, I'm actually not too sure. Going with the 002, 048, 029, etc. numbers, I can only assume 1001 is something the Absolute Solver made and gave it that number, possibly suggesting that there is more of these monstrosities out there.

So. Another "sacrifice." Why the quotation marks? Well... the first "sacrifice" was V and I'm still calling her MIA. Ginkgo, its clearly shown Uzi is most likely not gonna make it out of this one- shhhhhhhh, there is no war in Ba Sing Se. I will call Uzi MIA as well.

She's dead. The core was charging up behind her, much like it did when Nori's null hand fell, and when IC-0n- I MEAN- Tessa? The entity, jumped in. Uzi might just be the thing that sets the next core collapse- even the planet collapse- off. What Uzi is seeing, is just something that the Absolute Solver might have conjured up as her last memories before the imminent shut down.

She isn't dead. You see, this entire shot has me puzzled (nothing new lol). Your evidence for this one Ginkgo? Two images.

These scenes might not be much, but I will try to grasp at air here. It's unclear where Heart goes to. I mean there are two routes, one of which sounds more likely. First, she's going into the core because it connects to the entirety of the mine shafts and the core. Second, she's gonna use a door off to the side to go to the mine shafts and the same place that N gets dragged through. Why am I using these as poor evidence? Well, we've had 2 characters enter dark spaces full fo solver flesh and still make it out. Ginkgo, Uzi is literally falling in that scene, there is nothing to stop her fall. Yeah I know, like I said, I'm grasping at air with this one. Buuuut, the mind scape theories sound more fun, promise! ^w^

First off, where the HELL could this possibly be?

A memory/mind scape the Absolute Solver created: This has to be Copper-9, based off of the two iconic moons to the top right. A memory, because this could be either the first core collapse, or Uzi viewing the destruction of Copper-9 from another solver entity's point of view. Mind scape as in this is where the solver drone minds go to. Every solver drone that has been consumed by the large Absolute Solver in the cathedral, had their own personalities and thoughts. To keep them all from clashing and acting out, perhaps the solver takes the hive-mind plane and creates spaces that the solver drones can warp through.

The "ascension" plane: Ginkgo, that's it, to the hospital you go chop chop. /j Anyways, why am I even bringing something like this up? Well, Uzi's mural says this.

There are two routes here: succumb to be the host of eternal entity, or ascend. Ascend to... where? And how? Here is where the more intense crack theories enter (or at least for me). This space is the hive-mind of the solver, yes, but this is where Uzi's internal battle against the Absolute Solver will happen. We all know that the last mural will be of N fighting off the Absolute Solver (most likely). But what if he had outside (inside technically?) help. While N may hold out against the solver, he may need help to finally break through and finish it off. Who would be a better candidate than Uzi? She has now, for better or worse, become part of the large amalgamation that sits in the core. Perhaps with the strongest hosts in the hive-mind: Uzi, Nori, Yeva (maybe, I'm not quite settled on her yet), and Cyn, they will all be able to stop the solver for good on Copper-9. This process is the ascension. Instead of succumbing to the Absolute Solver within the hive-mind scape, she will fight once again. This time around, coming out victorious and ascending to uhh... I'm not quite sure yet? Robo-heaven? Returning back into her corporal body? Becoming the next Absolute Solver but with less need to rule the world? (Ah, well she might still actually rule the world just for the fun of it XD) Honestly, it's far too late for me to be thinking any more. I might add on to this later on.

Is it a rather optimistic take on the ending? Perhaps, but I need a little optimism right about now. ;w;

Want more of my stupid rambles? This has 3 other parts! ;w;

[flipping-the-coin]

[Patient Report: OP-7845-91653]

[Authorization Requirement: Alpha]

[Document Status: Sensitive - 94% preserved]

[Listed Authorized Individuals: Primal Steward Ratchet]

[Overseeing Medical Personnel: - Primary Physician: CMO Ratchet - Secondary Assistant: First Aid]

[Session: #004]

═════════════════

Orion was a decent enough patient this session. No serious deviations from what I’ve recorded. Through medication he has begun to return to awareness without any serious side effects. He’s still very unstable, but he is improving bit by bit. He hit me with his field again when I got too close, but that is to be expected. He's still very sensitive to anything and everything. 

Megatron loomed over me as usual. He tried incredibly hard to get a rise out of me, but unfortunately for him, I was wise enough to take a low dose of sedatives before arriving. They kept me calm at the cost of awareness. I worked in a daze, but it wasn’t as if I needed to be on my best behavior when Orion was too unsettled to even let me closer than a foot away without Megatron holding him. Orion may need to be issued ration tickets for the time being. He’s too thin and Megatron is exhausted caring for him. To my knowledge, Orion should have a sizable inheritance. As soon as he is aware enough to come and claim it, I will give it to him and he won’t need to live the way he does.

It is the least I can do. He’s entitled to his inheritance, and with Alpha Trion currently MIA, there is no point leaving a bunch of shanix and assets to rot in a vault. The banks are nearly open again. I might be able to pull some strings and give Orion access prior to his registry as a citizen, but I can’t get Megatron access when their conjunxing is unconfirmed. Slagging policies. I’m sure Megatron blames me for a lot of the issues we are dealing with globally. Primus, I wish I could show him just how chaotic things are. No matter how hard I try, files fly under my radar and sneak past the correct authorities and worm their way into legalization. I’m just one mech. I can’t do everything.

Sometimes I detest the fact that Optimus left this role for me in his will. But I know he wasn’t in his right mind at the time. It wasn’t like he trusted many of us anyway. 

Orion muttered strange things. Lots of pleas to be released and all sorts of nonsense about Bumblebee being ‘their’ sparkling. I don’t give a frag about a lot of it. The arrogance is startling. Still, I got some information from him through a few pointed questions. Megatron almost punched me for it, but I asked about Optimus again. I got a scrambled answer and a field attack in response.

I don’t have all the pieces to this puzzle, but I am beginning to put things together. I know that Orion and Optimus shared a frame throughout the war due to the Matrix. I know that the Matrix seemed to have… made Optimus. I have no clue what process allowed that to happen, but that’s what I’ve gathered. Orion was locked within the Matrix throughout Optimus’s functioning, which explains why he is the way he is. They appeared to have been able to communicate, but based on what Orion has muttered, there was a severe miscommunication issue or Orion is delusional.

The way he talks about Optimus… you would think my Prime was murdering sparklings in their cradles. War did lead him to have to make some tough calls, but everyone suffered during the conflict. Orion isn’t special in that regard. The Primus forsaken slagger really seems willing to die on the hill of Optimus being the worst thing since the Quints. 

Frag him.

I gave Orion a new dose of sedatives and left before I could get hit again. Orion Pax makes me angry. Far more than I care to admit. He was my friend. My closest companion before the war. But… I didn’t choose for it to be that way. Maybe my old fears are re-emerging. Having Optimus around made it impossible for me to think about my past. The circumstances of mine and Orion’s association were irrelevant. I didn’t want to be there and I would have been punished if Orion deviated, but I like to think we took comfort in one another.

Then he just had to fall for that mongrel Gladiator. I really shouldn’t have helped by giving him the train ticket to Kaon, but he was just so very broken. He had something he finally loved and I didn’t have the spark to deny him. I was trapped in the constraints of my deal, but he could enjoy himself a bit if I covered for him. 

So many vorns later… that decision still haunts me. I should have stopped him. I should have refused to let him go to Kaon. My biggest fear at the time was that Alph- my sponsor, was going to kill me. Who could have imagined that the end of our entire civilization would have come about instead. I was worried about vanishing mysteriously when I should have really been paying more attention. I don’t like to think about all the times I considered going to Alpha Trion. It brings back bad memories. The war made it all seem so small.

Slag, I honestly believed I was trying to court my best friend. 

I still haven’t processed that fact. How am I supposed to process that? I firmly believed that Optimus was just Orion given a new form. I thought I knew him. But now that I am Orion’s doctor and now that Optimus is gone-

I don’t think I knew either of them.

It doesn't matter anymore. I’m old and memories are difficult for me at times. I don’t want to think about any of it. I have more important things to do. I can’t allow myself to lose control. I can’t be angry with Orion. I need to stay composed. Once I put the pieces of this messed up story together, then I can decide how best to act. I don’t have enough information.

Patience. That was Optimus’s best trait. I just need to emulate him.

So long as I am patient, I will get through this. I can get the frag out of being Orion’s doctor as soon as the clinics are operational. I can get away from all of this. These slagging memories that I don’t want to recall.

═════════════════

[Assistant First Aid Report:

Everything was delivered without issue! I managed to come inside and clean up a little bit for Mr. Pax, which was nice. I got everything all picked up and I even managed to give Mr. Megatron a care package without seeming rude. At least, I hope it wasn’t rude. 

However I think there is something that should come to your attention, Doctor. I think your pill dosage was a little high this time. I know mistakes happen so please don’t take offense! I was just looking at the pill case and noted a few too many in there to be healthy. I don’t think it would have killed Mr. Pax thankfully. But it would have been very painful for him. Luckily for all of us, I removed the excess pills before anything could go wrong.

I just thought you would like to know. You have some serious jitters sometimes, so if you would like, I can count out pills when you need it, Doctor.]

[juliamaximoff]

જ⁀➴ about me (if u even care) !

júlia but you can call me juju or lia! (there's julinha too, it's like in the diminutive, like patootie you know?)

18 years old, she/her, brazilian 🇧🇷, scorpio, birthday in november 2nd (yes, in the day of the dead lol), infp-t, i'm 5'5".

♬ — favorite song of the moment (i'm addicted): slim pickins by sabrina carpenter.

hobbies — play video games, sleeping (it counts?😭), writing (only fanfics), editing images (usually for fanfics/fandoms), drawing (i'm very good at it but stopped doing that months ago, i lost the motivation), dancing, roller skating.

artists & actors — bts, evan peters (really? you don't say), pedro pascal, james mcavoy, tom hiddleston, neil newbon, weeekly, bibi.

movies & series — brave, coraline, good omens, grinch (2000), hairspray, mamma mia (2008), httyd 2 (i love all the movies), helluva boss, moon knight, neko no ongaeshi, princess and the frog, rise of the guardians, rush hour 1 & 2, spy x family, steven universe (all), thor 3, wandavision, zootopia.

video games — minecraft, roblox, amour sucré, the sims 3/4/2, stardew valley, bayonetta 1 & 2 (i still didn't played the 3rd one and i refuse to watch gameplays about it!), baldur's gate 3, ori and the will of the wisps, overwatch 2, league of legends, honkai: star rail, tomb raider (2013).

fave characters (in general) — peter/pietro maximoff (quicksilver), wanda maximoff, loki, deadpool, spider-man (tom holland's is my fave), aziraphale, stolas, astarion, garnet, jing yuan.

fandoms (that i still in) — bts, evan peters, pedro pascal, marvel movies and series (i didn't read the hqs, so i think would be cool to explain), honkai: star rail.

if you want to know more about me, don't hesitate to jump in my inbox to chat!this could make my day! 👋✨️

›› random facts/info under the cut.

random facts/info — 01. actually i'm learning english beig self-taught! since kid i play video games and needed to use the google translator to talk to people or understand the games, it turns out i naturally keep memorising every word. so then being a teenager and interacting with fandoms, fanfics and music... it just got better. so now i am just risking it typing (sometimes i use the google translator ngl. but have times that i type an entire paragraph without any mistakes!!! 🥰) aaand rightnow i can watch movies and videos without dubbing, but sometimes i still need english subtitles to compreheend some words.

02. i went with my mother to the BTS concert on may 25 in 2019, when they returned to brazil after 3 years, it seems silly but it was very difficult for a big k-pop group to step foot in a stadium here in brazil at that time. i consider that one of the best days of my life. ♡

03. my mom took my dad and i to ccxp 2022 in december 2nd, and only later did i find out that the day after we went (december 3rd), pedro pascal was there, in my country and state, in the comic con... this was shortly before i started being a fan of his. 🥲 it's not a super cool fact maybe, but i like to remember and laugh about it a little because i see how only destiny (and money, obviously) didn't let this happen😭 (i'm delusional, you don't say)

[1d1195]

Their story is so so cute and the songs written about it just really paints such a lovely story! And you don't have to explain yourself Sam, like Im not going to be offended if you didn't like them lol Middle school for me was for my emo phase yet with Paramore I simply cannot let them go lol What's wild is I vividly remember Harry's debut album and one of Paramore's album being released on the same day and my little tween brain couldn't handle it lol AND A WEREWOLF FIC!? Honestly seems fun lol

oh you definitely weren't delusional! Im sure there was something! Plus like sure you're in a relationship now but that doesn't mean you can't like not think about it?! Because you may not want a relationship right now with him but it's very interesting to know what could have been ya know?!

Parking is stressful especially in a busy city so I don't blame you! I get stressed and typically im not the one driving lol

Also bestie that traditional extra... OH IT WAS SO GOOD!!!!! It was so perfect especially in the form her jealousy took in! Her getting mad or like angry at Harry because of jealousy seemed highly unlikely, so her reacting by feeling bad/insecure about herself made sense for her character! Ngl if I would have reacted the same way! and what HURT while reading was Soph bringing up that ice skating accident and HOW HARRY MIGHT STILL HAVE HER NUMBER?! like nothing inherently bad but more just like awkward? Anyways loved reading it!Plus I never once doubted Harry bc he's insane for her!!! Yet it was still to see her talk about it with him! AHHH anyways I loved it!!!

I hope your week has been better Bestie!! Also I think by the time youll see this, its Valentine's Day soooooo HAPPY VALENTINE"S DAY MY LOVE🥰🥰🥰 You deserve all the love in the world! Im so happy to have found your little blog and I swear just chatting with you always brings a smile to my face! Love you lots and I hope you enjoy your day filled with all forms of love!!!

ps. I will likely be a bit MIA next week :( i have another round of exams :( but most likely by the weekend after I will be back!-💜

OH NO MORE EXAMS. No worries at all, I know you'll crush it! Best of luck! It'll be here when you're available 💕

In spirit, I imagine having Paramore and Harry drop at the same time was a lot hehehe. I used to make my family stop talking for hours when 1D had an interview streaming (I knew all the answers they were giving ahead of time, idk why I was like that)

I was a diehard Twilight fan (#TeamEdward) werewolf fic was the time of my life tbh. There is very little that can compare to a soulmate-MATE. It might be my roman empire.

EEEEEKKKK! So glad you liked it! Harry is def insane about her 💕 she has nothing to worry about but sometimes you can't help those feelings, you know? I think I would prefer to leave Traditional Harry to the jealousy in the future though, not her.

It's been an okay week so far; we had a snow day yesterday and school break is next week so just two more days. 😅 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! Hope you get just as much love and more, you deserve it 💕

Love you, and talk to you soon!!!

xoxo

[gagmebucky]

thank you to taylor @blessedbucky​, mia @theamericanfalcon, liz @marvelous-mr-stark, raechel, shayla, lauren, courtney, em and tina for allowing me to write this content as well as my beta reader kat @angel-fire​! love you all!

read the full synopsis and excerpt // read chapters snippets here.

o. in which you accidentally send your nudes to your brothers’ best friend. (includes reader’s pov, bucky’s pov, mentions of sexting.)

—

Initially, taking the photos—exposing yourself in such an intimate state to another—you were hesitant. It wasn’t the possible repercussions, i.e. revenge porn, that gave you pause but more-so an insecurity in your own body. Having never done something like this before, you briefly dithered between whether you should or not. 

Ultimately, however, you do. The guy had spent money on you, went through the trouble of finding something you’d like and shipped it discreetly. And when you slip the racy number on, your insecurities wash away and leave excitement in its wake. Everything about it you love, and it has you preening in a solo photo shoot you’re eager to show off. 

After a good time of selfie shutters bulking your phone’s storage—positions of you scantily-clad standing, sitting, a cross of both—you finally relent. There’s too many pictures to pick from, but you do. Three poses that optimize the best aspects of the outfit and that you think he’ll like the best have you buzzing in anticipation of his reaction. 

Giddy, you tap them directly on the album app and click the share button; you input the letter B in the ‘To:’ slot. Since there’s only two contact names under that letter, his name shows up immediately, the first with the nickname Bucky beneath it. You gloss over that and in quick succession, you quickly hit the contact and press send. 

For a split second, you’re proud: you’ve taken this e-relationship to the next level like he wanted, and he’ll be happy with you. Then it hits you like a brick through glass. A replay of your actions travel to your brain, and you belatedly realize what your eyes saw—your thumb smearing too low on the screen, so instead of Brock as the recipient, it’s Bucky. 

“No, no, no!” you whisper as your heart hurtles like a jackhammer stuck in your rib cage. 

A part of you insists it’s your paranoia playing tricks on you, and that’s a valid rationale because this whole thing does worry you about getting caught. Except, upon checking its legitimacy, you confirm what you accidentally did. There’s no mistaking it, now, because with your brightness turned up full, your partially nude figure stares you in the face underneath of a thread between you and your brothers’ best friend. 

James Bucky Barnes—the man who’s nicknamed you bambi because the numerous times he’s seen you face-plant over your own footing, the twenty-four year old who still ruffles your hair when he greets you, the soon-to-be business owner who dates certified models—has a trio of your attempts to be seductive; bottom lined with text you hope comes off likewise seductive.

Mortification swallows you. Your skin burns hotter and hotter by the second. Sure, you’ve embarrassed yourself before: you fall a lot, and you’re awkward conversationalist. But never something of this magnitude, not something that makes you seem so desperate and pathetic. 

You can imagine him opening the messages. He’d immediately assume, understandably, it’s a come-on; a girl trying to be a woman’s failed goal to enthrall a man like him, his best friend’s kid sister’s pitiful effort to be anything other than just that. As if you could ever measure up to the types of women he dates. 

And, yes, there’s been a time where you had a crush on him. But it’s not your fault when he looks like how he does, a rugged example of masculine sex appeal, and treating you the way he does, teasing but with a twist of kindness, and the fact that he’s the only non-blood related man allowed near you. 

But that time has passed. Even then, you knew the one-sided attraction was delusional to have. You were—still are—so sure about it that you never even dared to fantasize about him and the rumors that used to trek behind him about his sexual escapades. There’s no hidden desire to be with him, and that worsens it because it’s not like you’d feel any relief in knowing his reaction. You don’t care about his reaction in the first place!

Now, no matter how much you will insist it’s an accident, there will always be a dubiousness about it. With how close your families are, things are going to be tense. Because there’s no forgetting he’s viewed you like that, and there’s photo evidence of it. 

It hits you then. The extremity of your fuckup douses you in ice, and your muscles freeze because you register that since he knows about your family borderline patriarchal values concerning you, he has to tell them you’re taking nudes, and it will be over for you. 

It has taken you twenty years of your life to finally venture outside what your family has allowed, to sate your curiosity of what exactly your fathers and older siblings have kept so strictly from you: sex and all the goodness it entails. 

It has taken you an additional six months to explore in-depth and build the courage to start something tangible, to wander the depraved side of the internet where strangers did things to each other that made you want to do things with someone of your own: stirring foreign but oh-so amazing feelings in your nether regions. 

For twenty-six weeks you carefully treaded across in order to ensure your family had no clue what you’re doing, clearing your web history and using incognito mode, all your accounts anonymous, keeping your notifications on silent in case anyone becomes suspicious of who’s continuously contacting you. 

One hundred and eighty-two days later—in the middle of which you started your sex-based communication—of preparing to lose your virginity, your family will find out what you’ve been up to, and your life will be hell. 

Everything has been going so perfectly. You found a guy enough distance away he isn't affected by your family’s influence, middle-aged so he’s experience and doesn’t mind handling a virgin, and is willing to drive an hour to meet you at a specified hotel when the time comes.  

All that hard work down the drain. 

You toss your phone and jump to your feet. Panicked, your bare feet pad back and forth on your rug-covered wood floors. Your teeth gnaw at your thumbnail as different scenarios of how everything will transpire flit through your head. Each one is more terrible than the last, and your anxiety heightens. 

Somewhere in your disquietude, it occurs to you. Your brothers are downstairs and so is Bucky, but it’s ten o’clock at night, and that means they’re gaming. That particular activity coined a rule that all players have to stow their phones in the guest room. The specifics are blurry but it was something about Bucky interrupting the session due to excessive texts. 

It’s an opportunity. A chance that you can creep downstairs, swipe his phone and delete your mistake—hell, you’ll break his phone if you need to—before he’s any the wiser. 

“And—” Bucky Barnes drawls out the vowel as the rough-textured ball hurls through the air and swishes sharply into the hoop. “—nothin’ but net.” He relaxes from the perfected basketball follow-through stance, hands dropping to his sides, while he regards his old friend with a cocky smile. “Beat that, Rogers.” 

Steve snorts and catches the ball when it bounces onto the concrete. Palming it in one hand, he dribbles it twice and trades positions so instead of being stationed next to the hoop, he’s descended to the driveway curb where the established three-pointer line is. 

“You still got it, Barnes,” the blond admits, loosening his shoulders and spreading his footing to be a width apart. His right hand balances the ball from below, elbow tucked underneath, while the left splays against the side as his knees bend, and he springs up. With a practiced flick of his wrist, he releases the orange sphere at the top of his jump. It catapults in a flawless arc and drops through criss-crossed netting with a similar swish. His lips curve with satisfaction as he adds, “But, so do I.”

Bucky laughs and seizes the ball as it falls free. “Callum and Henry have no idea they’re going to get obliterated,” he says, coming to slap his palm in an affable embrace. “Fair warning, they’re still as sore losers as they were five years ago so be prepared for that.” 

Steve Rogers chuckles. The former fourth to their high school cliquè, he’s aware of just how bad sports they are. 

After graduation, he left out-of-state to pursue a degree in technological engineering, which he acquired last month in May, prompting his return back to New York. Between the four of them, Bucky and Steve are the level headed ones so he’s glad to have the support to handle the wild children his childhood best friends are. 

“Speaking of,” Steve starts, dirty blond eyebrows knitting as he glances around the neighborhood’s cul-de-sac. “Where are they? I thought Henry was supposed to be waking up Callum? If we aren’t starting yet, then can I get my phone back?” 

Bucky clicks his teeth. “Yeah. They’re probably stuffing their faces right now. Their sister went grocery shopping and got a cake so. . .” He waves his hand in gesture before continuing in vehement passion on the second point, “The whole phone thing is bullshit, though. I miss a few winning shots ‘cause I was busy with some pretty little thing texting me, and now there’s a ‘no technology rule’.” He scoffs and folds his arms. 

Now that he thinks about it, he could totally have his phone right now. And he’s more interested in having it than usual. There’s this girl he’s been seeing frequently at local parties—six feet tall with gorgeous brown skin, always done up in intricate eye makeup, silver tongued (he’s very interested in her tongue) when she speaks—and he’s finally gotten her number. She could be texting him, and he doesn’t even know it! 

“You know, yeah, we should get our phones back if those assholes want to take all day,” Bucky decides, agreeing with steps toward the closed storm door, but opened front door until he hears the inquiry:

“How is Y/N, anyway?” Steve’s voice is genuinely and harmlessly curious behind him, and he stops in his tracks because Bucky remembers the poorly hid crush he harbored for you. “I saw her instagram the other day, and she must be quite the heartbreaker.” 

Spinning around to face him, Bucky lifts a brow. “Huh?” Then he processes the implication that you’re out dating and such. The mere prospect has him surprising laughter. 

With their dad and his girlfriend on a tour of the world, the three of them are the only ones in the household. Given you’re the baby of your siblings, despite being an independent twenty-year-old, your older brothers have taken it upon themselves to ensure you focus solely on school work. Callum and Henry know exactly how to threaten their message across that you are not to be bothered, and anyone who tries will end up battered and bruised. 

He shakes his head. “Nah. She’s not with anyone, hasn’t been ever,” he tells him. “If you thought Callum and Henry were overprotective back then, you should see them now.” 

Gunmetal blue eyes blink surprised at him, and there’s a faint battle between delight and disappointment. “Really?” He shoves his hands in his sweats and falters somewhat. “It’s gotta be hard considering the way she has grown up,” he says but Bucky’s face scrunches in confusion. “You can’t tell me you don’t see how cute she is.” Before he can respond, Steve adds, “Obviously I wouldn’t ever see or be with her in that way—I wouldn’t betray Callum or Henry like that—but objectively, you can admit she’s gorgeous, right?” 

Bucky has to take a moment and genuinely consider it—consider you—because he hasn’t before. (Other than noticing the genetic similarities to Callum, who shares your eye and hair color but is a shade lighter than you, and Henry, who shares your complexion and eye color, but his hair is darker than yours.)

There’s no denying your looks are better than most: the structure of your face works beautifully, dazzling eyes framed by your lashes and occasionally accentuated by mascara, lips usually adorned in gloss or anything that keeps them hydrated which could be described as alluring, and your hair is almost always done, sometimes switched up in style. But there’s an inherent innocence there, a sweet and clumsy awkwardness, and maybe because he’s watched you grow up, four years your senior, but it just doesn’t do it for him. 

You’re his best friends’ baby sister, for God’s sake. He’d never at you like that in the first place. Especially not when he’s been aware, in the past, you harbored a schoolgirl crush on him. It was painfully obvious, to your chagrin, but he found it adorable—flattering but unsurprising considering girls flock to him like seagulls to boardwalk french fries. 

Currently, he’s sure you know he won’t ever pick you—under principle, under the lack of attraction. Other than pleasant smiles and occasional small talk mixed with teasing, you don’t gaze at him with starry eyes anymore, at least it’s waned significantly as you matured. 

Back to the question: “Uh, no, not really. Even if Callum and Henry didn’t care, I don’t think I’d be attracted to her,” he answers truthfully. Your purity doesn’t provoke his sexual attraction although it does invoke a duty of protectiveness. “She just isn’t my type.” 

Steve arches a brow, a surprised playfulness in his expression. “Oh? Then what is your type, then?” he asks, nudging him with his elbow. ‘Cause from what I remember you’re up for anyone and everyone.”

“That makes me sound like a whore,” he feigns offense but digresses into a fit of chuckles as he thinks back to all his various sex-capades and Steve flashes him a look that says aren’t you? “Yeah.” He nods with a prideful chortle. “But I’m into more frisky girls, y’know? Ones who’ve been everywhere and done everything. They’re brass and loud and just do whatever the fuck they want. I like to be one of those things.” 

Behind him, his best friend, Callum’s orotund voice rings out between the pressurized shh of the storm door, “Buck’s into slutty girls, Steve.”

He cringes at the diction. “Don’t call ‘em slutty. Sounds degrading when you guys say it like that.” Most of the time, he agrees with him—and his brother—but when it comes to women, there’s usually a dissent and a need for correction. “But yeah. I prefer girls with experience,” he declares strongly. “They don’t get attached like girls with... less experience do.”

Callum rolls his eyes, bounding down the porch stairs to the recently pressure-washed driveway, and he plucks the basketball out of his hands. “Here we go again. Bucky and his ‘I hate virgin’s’ campaign,” he mocks, shaking his head. “Doesn’t make any sense to me ‘cause everyone knows virgins are the tightest.”

This time, Bucky is the one to roll his eyes. “Well, that doesn’t make any sense considering tightness isn’t dependent upon whether it’s their first time ‘cause, y’know, vaginas stretch, you morons.” Sometimes he has no clue how Callum passed sex education (then he remembers that he bribed the health teacher). “Meaning a girl can have sex, then after a period of time, her virgin ‘tightness’ eventually returns. The only reason virgins may seem tighter is because they’re usually nervous.” 

The look on Callum’s face says that what he just said went right over his head. “Whatever.” He shrugs and starts dribbling the ball half-heartedly. “I just know the woman I end up with better be a virgin.” 

“Right!” Henry’s likewise orotund voice, a pitch higher, speaks after he pushes through the glass door. He presses to the court-slash-driveway, wiping icing off his mouth. “That’s marriage material. I’m not fucking around in a relationship with no woman that’s been fucked already, y’know?” 

Bucky’s eye twitches, jaw locking for a millisecond. “But you guys aren’t even virgins yourself,” he points out their hypocrisy. When they look at him to rebuttal, he automatically knows it’s going to run his blood pressure up and it’s not worth it. “You know, I’m gonna go to the bathroom. You guys have fun with your conversation.” 

Swiftly, he whirls around and heads for inside. The last thing he hears is Steve’s ambivalent, “I get the appeal of virgins. But you know, I don’t think it really matters. I think it just matters if you’re into them, and if they’re into you. I wouldn’t care either way but. . .” 

The air conditioned air greets him coldly, and he revels in it. The June sun is killer, though perfect weather for playing a game outside, and the chill dries the sweat beaded on his forehead. He pads down the foyer, turns the corner to the bathroom and enters to take a much needed leak. 

Bucky has so much brotherly love for your brothers: neighbors since being in diapers, his mother the female figure in their life, and becoming and remaining best friends for over twenty years. There’s only one thing that grates his nerves when it comes to them and that’s their view of women is somewhat skewed. Sometimes—most of the time—went the topic comes up, he’s always one second away from throttling them. 

Hopefully after he pisses, they’ll be talking about something else, and finally they all can play basketball. It. 

Flushing the toilet, he goes onto wash his hands. He lathers up in orange antibacterial soap and rinses the suds off with hot water. There isn’t a towel, at least not a clean one, so instead he just lets the remaining droplets drip onto the floor. 

Emerging from the bathroom, James pauses and absentmindedly wipes his hands dry on his mesh-polyester shorts. His attention automatically draws to the guest room’s closed door adjacent to his position. A decision strikes him, and he steps forward and casts a curious glance down the corner. 

When boisterous and distracted laughter filters through the front door and down the empty corridor, it springs him into action. He figures there’s no harm in checking his phone while he’s here. He’d been especially resistant to giving it away because he’s engaged in a particularly stimulating conversation with a particularly titillating woman—popular in her own right, he can’t afford to miss his shot with her. 

His fingers turn the knob, and he shoulders through. The furniture is decorated and accented in yellow and white, condition otherwise pristine, save for the phones littered across the king-sized poster bed’s fluffy duvet. He strides across gleaming light oak floors and hones in on the only golden-colored, rubbed encased titanium. 

As he grips it, long digits curling around the back, pinkie supporting the bottom, thumb tapping the screen to life, he can hear the dwindling of high-spirited jesting through the en-suite’s rectangular horizontal slider window; a wondering of where he’s gone has him speeding up. 

Although he’d been gone for under an hour, his screen is bright with various notifications, social media accounts and text messages. He ignores the former and searches for the latter, specifically the contact, Val 😛💦. Scrolling quickly, he comes to a stop but not because of his original intent. 

His head cocks, and he knits his brows when he sees your name instead; formally nicknamed, bambi, due to your penchant for clumsiness and general fragility. You don’t text him—except for that one time you needed to be picked up from the library—and considering you know he’s just outside, his baffled curiosity is further spurred. 

With a sideways swipe of his thumb, your thread enlarges on the high-definition display. He isn’t sure what he expected, but this? Oh, this, definitely is not it. His eyes widen as the content loads, and reveals you, in all your half-naked glory. 

“Shit,” he breathes out raggedly, blinking multiple times because he has to be seeing things. But, nope, it’s still you—looking like that, wearing that. “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.” 

Your brothers are beginning to call his name, demanding his attendance, and he froze in shock, unable to tear his stare away from the girl who’s tripped over her own feet more times than he can count; the wallflower who spends all her time studying in her room; the forbidden fruit who’s innocent has always stirred a vigilant feeling inside him—now stirring something hard between his thighs because there you are. 

Like always, your hair is done prettily, wispy-lashed eyes big and inviting, a saucy pout to your glossed lips. Your flawless complexion seems to glow in the reflection of the mirror, and he doesn’t know if it’s because of the warm lighting, or if it’s the confidence you exude in your faux-innocent expression from where something so sinfully sexy. 

Three photos, and every single one is like a punch in the gut; displaying your usually hoodie-hidden figure in its bare, exquisite form. The skimpy white two-piece caresses your breasts in a lace halter top, leaving a teasing amount of cleavage. Your navel exposed, he becomes aware of how soft your skin would be. Moving lower, your untouched flower is wrapped in a thin thong with a bow on the center of the waistband. 

A million things flit through his head; a million disgusting things he never thought he’d think about you. 

The main one is every sort of attraction these snapshots arouse. A laser slices down his center and sears him to the core. The multiple poses calls every hungry part of him to attention, the curve of your breasts, the contours of your hips and the jut of your ass. And he shoves to the darkest recess in his mind because that’s just an innate reaction to lingerie. (Right? Right.)

He combats your images with that of Val: knows-what-she’s-doing and equally promiscuous as him Val. The anthropology major who downs beers within seconds and tongue kisses the first person she sees afterwards. 

The next is the one he focuses on, that you would take these and send them to him—as if he’d betray your brothers like that. Second-hand embarrassment strikes him because he knows if you’ll send something as risky as this, he’ll have to formally reject you and break your unreciprocated pining heart. 

He grimaces at the thought. This is why he doesn’t do virgins and the less experienced in general. The inherent strings are a killer, and he resents the drama; and it’d be ten times worse with you because of the added complications of your siblings. 

In fact, he hears something beyond him, coming down the hallway, and it’s probably them, but he can’t stop rereading your text accompanying the photos, partially imagining how it’d sound in your delicate voice: 

bambi (4:21PM): is this as pretty as you imagined? did i do good? just tell me what you want, and ill do it. i want you. soon, please - and yes, ill beg. i promise itll sound even better in person. 

[read it in its entirety on my patreon - one time fee of $5 to access!]

[migleefulmoments]

Honestly I wouldn't message Darren or Ricky with their hate and vitriol because something tells me they know, and don't want to address it. Doing so on their end would fan the flames and people would be questioning why a handful of delusional tumblr blogs is bothering them so much. Not saying that it's unfounded. Those women are disgusting humans. I think from their perspective, they don't want to engage with the toxicity and give anything they say power over them.

This is how Gleekto feels and I suspect that it may very well be true.  It does seem like his team is scrubbing hateful comments more quickly from his Instagram-and I assume Twitter. My only thing is that so many of Abby’s lies end up in those comments verbatim. I don’t follow Twitter so I miss the cc hate that is fabricated by any of those tinhatters if it is different from Abby’s tropes. I would probably focus more on the hate to Mia and the outrageous lies. 

[msbeccieboo]

Arrow 7x13 brain dump

So this review/brain-dump is probably not going to be very thorough as I am simply too excited for our Olicity baby!!  I really enjoyed this week, and haven’t felt this giddy about an episode in forever!!!  Positive!Beccie is back with a vengeance!  No ranting (probably) from me this week!

The Queen family

I could probably write this review solely under this heading, because this was a truly family-centric episode.  We got some real scenes of the three of them this week at last!!  

Source: lucyyh

Continued under the cut

The pancake scene was just brilliant; Oliver starting off out of his element, then Felicity playing bad cop to get Oliver to start the conversation, then Oliver just acing his chat with William, like he’s been Dadding forever!  I loved Oliver calling William “young man”; when I used to get “young lady”-d by my Mum I knew I was in the shit 😂  William was brilliant in these scenes too-he had some valid points, and spoke them up well, but in that wonderful moody/angry teenager way obvs, of course resulting in a storm-out, followed by a “we’re not done here”!  I realise as I’m writing this that we never really got to the bottom of why William got expelled; he said it was a fight, but no more information than that, I’m guessing that’s all we’re going to get?  Anyway, I really enjoyed the Oliver-William scenes, and we got that adorable scene between Will and Felicity with the Rubik’s cube, that we saw mentioned in the flash forwards earlier in the season.

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

Oliver and Felicity deciding to let William go and live with his grandparents was heart-breaking 😭😭  I adored Oliver sticking up for Felicity and fighting for his family...there’s our boy!!  

Source: olicitygifs

I’m so pleased that Oliver asked Felicity for her opinion, and actually made that decision with her.  This is a true marriage, a family.  A family that is now torn apart again and I don’t like it, but I think it was the right decision for the time being.  I also don’t think this is the last we will see of William, despite how the FFs may make it seem right now.  He most certainly wasn’t abandoned here; it was his choice to leave.

But when one child leaves…we get another one 😂😂😂   THE OLICITY BABY IS HERE!!!!  

Ok, so this wasn’t exactly the jaw-dropping moment it was teased to be (was it teased to be? I don’t even know; we work ourselves into such fabulous frenzies over these things that I can’t remember what we were supposed to be expecting haha!).  Anyway.  We been knew.  But for every worried anon, Loliver stan, morally questionable writer (looking at you MG) or otherwise delusional troll/comic f*boy that may have put an element of doubt into our heads….HA!! Of course Mia was going to be Olicity’s daughter, it was the only logical explanation.  The hints were still coming thick and fast throughout the episode; there was even one beautiful transition scene where Felicity morphed into Mia before our very eyes! And we now have a pregnant Felicity!  I’m not big into baby/pregnancy storylines so I don’t have a boatload of things I’m desperate to see.  I just need to see Felicity tell Oliver, and have a few cutesy overprotective/scared prospective parent moments and I’ll be happy!  I’m still more interested in Felicity as a character and her personal storyline, and I’m hoping that that isn’t lost.  For me it’s the solidification of their family in the present, and the legacy that they leave for us to see in the future that I’m excited for (SO EXCITED!!!).

Stan

Source: plotbunnyshipper

Why hasn’t he been a proper Big Bad?!  As many have already said, he’s been a more frightening, involved, relevant and empathetic villain in the 2-3 episodes we’ve known him as a villain for, than LizardBoy has been in 1.5 seasons!!!  It’s almost a shame that they used him on such a family-focused episode, because I think he could have carried a full-on villain-centric episode by himself.  He was a scary combination of vulnerable, creepy and violent and he left us (or me at least) wanting more!!  I hope we see him again, but I don’t think we will.  I loved his drugging of the Queen family (ok that drugging was a bit ridiculous, but this is still Arrow), and his truth bombs about the rest of the ‘team’; the man made some serious sense!!  And I loved seeing the three of them work as a team to take him down!

Flash forwards

Mia frikkin Smoak guys!!!!  

Source: feilcityqueen

Baby Olicity is a savage lol!!  A gloriously imperfect mix of island rage Oliver and angry Felicity.  This girl is damaged and has been through some serious shit for sure, which I hate for her, but makes her so interesting to watch.  I loved her punching out William and Zoe (for no real reason ha!) and taking on Dinah and Roy (with Connor’s help).  She’s fearless, no nonsense and will do whatever it takes to achieve her goal, which is to use the Archer program to find Felicity, her mama  😍😍 We got to see Parkour!Roy, still never fails to make me smile (and he’s SO HOT), and saw Dinah recognise Connor as Dig’s son, calling him Connor, not JJ.  So Roy and Dinah didn’t know JJ, Mia or William (not really), and Dig, Oliver and Felicity are all still unaccounted for.  Looks like OTA and fam went scram, be that into hiding or just out of Star City, and a long while back too.

The future story arc is really quite well done in S7; the writers have had us puzzling within fandom so much over Mia’s parentage, when the real mystery is what the f is going on in these flash forwards!  I have zero clue what is going on, and I like that I don’t know!  It’s still frustrating, because we are so used to an overload of spoilers and the somewhat predictable writing, so it’s refreshing to be sooo in the dark still at this stage.  We also have to think that as well as the ‘present’ future situation, there are also 20 years of unknowns to be filled in, and it’s exciting!  It’s also grim as hell, and by the sound of it we won’t get a ‘happy’ resolution by the end of the season, but I’m hoping there is a teeny bit of sunshine in amongst all the grey clouds!  I’m also (maybe?) in the minority whereby if this hopeless future is a result of Oliver having died in our current time (i.e. in the crossover), I don’t want his inevitable resurrection to ‘reset’ this future timeline, or else what would have been the point at all of this storyline for the past season?  I dunno…I’m ultimately so confused by it all, but for now I’m ok with that 😊

NTA + Dig

It hurts my heart that Dig is in this category, for now at least.  They were fine, not too annoying I think as they took up an acceptably small amount of screen time. I would have liked to see a bit more Dig, but it wouldn’t have fit in this episode.  I thought the murder-house stuff was cool, suitably suspenseful and funny in parts.  It’s a shame they put Dinah’s attack in the trailer, as that would have been an awesome shock moment otherwise.  So is that her Canary Cry gone now?  That seems lazy to me…this is a metahuman superpower, and one swift non-fatal slit to the throat puts an end to it?  I call bullshit.

Curtis Holt has left the building!!  He couldn’t leave without reminding us why we grew to dislike him; signing over Helix to Felicity (Smoak Tech RISE!) so self-satisfactorily, as if he’d done a damn thing towards it in the last year (and what he did previously for Helix he used to intentionally track and cause bodily harm to the recipient…still mad).  Bye bitch!  I’m glad they got rid without resorting to offing a black gay character though….WELL DONE WRITERS!!!  Under another showrunner (*cough* MG) this would have gone differently I’m positive.  Also, the fact that Curtis’ exit is so unnoteworthy and TOTALLY overshadowed by MIA FRAKKING SMOAK is just beautiful!!

Ok so this got long again, quelle surprise!  Sorry!  And we have to wait 3 weeks till the next episode 😣😣

Thank you to the wonderful gif-brigade!  Our saviours 💗

[twistedsinews]

I had a dream where...

It's kinda hard to describe how it worked, but you know how you know because it was a dream type thing?  There was enough 3rd person going on that I presume it to have been Faith, or thereabout, except she had Alexis' Vas Mani skills.  (Literally, Vas Mani - a healing spell from a more fantasy game, for those of you not familiar).  It definitely handled like playing a video game, so I'm using the video game "we" in describing how things went down.

So!  SR plot.  The protagonist of the dream woke up in a house set up in the woods.  It was sparse, when they left the house there were some people who dropped in who fondly welcomed them back to the world of the living with hugs.

We got a bit lost where we were supposed to go when we left the house - at one point, we wandered around and the house seemed to move.  Like, the protagonist asked someone "where's the house," and they pointed it out in front of us when we thought it was behind us.  The word coma first showed up, which did not explain the house moving but somehow explained (??) what we were doing there and the warm welcome.

Further on, once the forest thinned out, there was a big open field with a large fortified castle.

This is where it gets a bit muddled, because pretty much the rest of the dream took place in the castle.

About the Castle: Kind of steampunk looking in some places, but very high technology in practice, geothermal energy, off the grid, very self-sufficient.  Very fortified.

The Saints lived there.

Now, despite the recently coma part, we knew right where the junk food was kept, and were hellbent intent on sharing a chocolate bar with the couple in the humvee like truck parked outside.  Apparently we knew them and it was nice to see them, even though I have no recollection of them being from anywhere.  They were going out on a date to the movies or something and it was important to the protagonist of the dream that they take chocolate with them.

So anyway, Oleg was keeping the door, for whatever reason, and it was his job to lift the portcullis whenever anyone wanted in or out.  (The door was small enough it was difficult to get by him, and we wound up deciding to keep the chain latched so the door stayed open anyway.)

I don't remember if it was upon getting the chocolate bar to the couple, or after they got back and we'd spent some cursory time inside (I'm inclined to think it was the latter, because everyone was calm, but that's applying logic to dreamland), but: at one point there was another humvee like truck with a rock band or something parked next to them.

At which point we were attacked, and both cars were blown up.  Which is where Vas Mani comes in: things were pretty gruesome on the field, a complete firefight had broken out, and we were in the middle of it throwing out healing magic like there was no tomorrow before we were able to retreat back into the castle.

Life in the castle was pretty chill.

But, again, being welcomed back to the land of the living with open arms.  I'm pretty sure the timeline of 15 years was bandied about at one point, which confused the hell out of me because that's a long fucking coma.

If I grok the overarching plot of this dream, it was almost something like if the Boss's coma ran through SR3 and SR4, and Gat was in charge the entire time.  Somehow things did not explode to the extent you would believe from that fact, or that Gat hadn't been thrown in prison and given a death sentence he needed to be rescued from.  The alternate reading would be that they mistook Alexis for the Boss, who was MiA, but there was recognition from the protagonist so I'm guessing that's not it, despite the inexplicable Vas Mani.  Also, the it seemed it was the Saints who were keeping the protagonist hidden away in the house in the woods, so ???

Anyway, who the fuck pays attention to the SR timelines anyway.

There was a large chunk of re-aclimatizing to the crew.  Oleg was around, but he mostly held the door.  Gat was front and center at first, then he wandered off to do Leader Things and came back from time to time.  Pierce and Shaundi were in the background a lot, particularly whenever going through the big open gathering hall that led to the door outside.

Asha was around, I remember something about her trying to get something out of a snack or meal vending machine.  I THINK Matt was there, too, although I didn't recognize him because he was dressed... a little more business casual.  Either that, or completely other new guy helping Asha out with the vending machine.

Aisha was inexplicably still alive and living in a heavily fortified dungeon.  Got to see her at a distance, but didn't get to talk to her - she was busy.  The explanation was that she could leave if she wanted to, but she'd made it all comfortable to her tastes and Gat was on overdrive in trying to keep her safe.

Lin was also still alive, and there was an implication of romance cut short between her and the protagonist that they were kind of dancing around each other with.

Asked about Dex, don't remember the answer.  Something like he was wherever, but not there.

I think King was around, don’t remember what he was doing.  Don't remember anyone else.

There was a strange side-track into the basement at one point, where a hospital was set up.  We ended up being herded down there talking to a doctor, I think over not getting a scratch in the attack where two cars were blown up and people were very much hurt.  Wound up trying to Vas Mani and potentially an In Mani Corp or two over the wounded.

On the way out, got waylaid by a guy who was angrily blaming us for some kind of energy eating monster that... killed his family in Chicago?  He may have been delusional, or maybe he was just angry because some kind of energy eating monster came at us in Chicago and it was our job to keep our people safe or something.  He seemed to imply it was our fault for attracting it with magic even though we didn’t know it existed.

Anyhow, wound up hanging out and reconnecting a lot.  It was a long dream, I am forgetting details.  I also remember becoming aware it was a dream halfway through a lot of the latter stuff, and kind of feeling like I could wake up at any time, but wanting to finish the dream.

So yeah, after a lot of meandering around, the final detail that was particularly clear was going up to spent time with Gat in his office, where he basically said how great it was for us to be back.  The joking implication may have been: because he was sick of being in charge for so damn long, but he was v. genuine about it and it came with hugs, so.

I figured that would be a high note to wake up on, so I did.

Then I rolled over, immediately fell back asleep, and had a dream I'm not sure was even related where Volition was all, "So anyway that's the new Saints Row." and finished by unveiling some kind of... part demo, part tool kit, where you get to run around in a small city block (which was definitely city and not a castle) and try out the game, but that you could also use to build new things, like they had "released for every other Saints Row."

I woke up disappointed that we did not have these toolkit demo things.

...idek man...

[hauntedromantics]

Look I used to be a hardcore shipper and the theories and coincidences were basic fact to me. Then tom said he was single and Taylor has stayed mia when we thought we'd at least see her or shed post something. I just don't want to twist everything that happens to make it seem like everything fits our thoughts you know? Like w tay I think stuff might be going on but I just can't put what tom said straight up and compare it to our coincidences and say we're right. You don't have to post if u want

Then you don't have to twist anything. And I've decided that I'm going to be that one delusional blog, and I'm not going to outright say Tom is lying, but to me it's not questioning his character to think he may lie to protect his private life. To be honest, it actually would show me that he cares more about those close to him than the opinion of the fans and media, which is admirable. Who would want a guy who chose fans over you? And it's not like he would be the first celebrity, who happened to be a great person, to lie. This all my OPINION.

[the-semantics-at-best-blog]

The first time I saw Supergirl it reminded me of Lois and Clark The New Adventure of Superman. Growing up I know that girls are equally capable and strong as boys. But Lois and Clark made me realized that women are in equal footing with men. It made me see that was not only capable because we have to but we are capable because it is in our genes. I have seen a lot of television shows since then, I have met and fell in love with strong female characters and have tried to emulate them. But non made me believe that it is possible to be strong, confident, successful and hot as Cat Grant once said. Season 1 may have been about Kara leaning to be Supergirl, but it is also about Cat Grant learning to open up and show who she is back when life was simple. She is a soft-hearted, hard-working journalists who feels too much. It gave me a lot of ahas and what the f, moments. But all in all it was wonderful to see these two women who both wanted to do good in the world. I Stopped watching season 2 after the second episode, I kinda have a feeling it would not be what it was once. And I was not wrong. I didn’t get the idea of Lena Luthor being a substitute CEO and as some people would say confidant and adviser. I am wondering what a 30+ woman who has no real job, no real experience, no real anchor to the world could offer a 24-year-old cub reporter, former assistant, Alien and super hero? Cat Grant once said that ” you don’t sudden own the building, there is a learning curve”, I believe that but I guess cat forgot to mention, you can step off the elevator and suddenly own the building if your father own the whole damn company!.Lena Luthor is the epitome of privilege, with no stress and work needed to be the CEO. It’s funny when she claims, certain invention as hers or her vision, when she hasn’t work a day in her life for any of the product her company is selling. At least Maxwell Lord knows what the hell his talking about, he knows the ins and out of what his toys and his trains are doing and how to fix it if something happens. They were parading Lena as a strong female character, when all she ever was is a cry baby and someone who needs savings and assurance that she’s doing the right thing. Lena is trying to distance her self to the Luthor name because she thinks her family is bad. She's’s doing because she has an agenda of her own. Now let’s talk about Mon-El, see I’m not a big fan of bad boys that turns out to be good boys. I have no such notion that I can change a guy and make his better. First of all, it’s hard to make my self better, let alone teach some guy how to be a better version of himself. Mon-El is a villain character that should have a villain in the first place. But as fans of the first season know that James and Kara DOESN’T have any chemistry except friendship. So when season 2 happened they needed a stand in love interest that will be the safe corner and warm place of Kara, away from all the fighting and all the drama that CATCO has become. So they needed Mon-El, since Cat Grant is no longer there to be the semi, quasi love/mentor questionable boss/assistant/friend/hero whatever relationship they needed a MAN. But as any character written as villain, it becomes annoying and down right frustrating when they try to make him into a good guy. It’s like buying one thing and using it for some other things. It doesn’t work! It only creates mess and just more unnecessary work. But let’s be honest, this is a show that caters to young and adult viewers so they need a hot guy for the hot girl. I’ve never been one to be interested in what the actors or the actress are doing in real life when they’re not working, so I don’t care about Melissa or Chyler or Calista outside of Supergirl, but it does make me wonder if Melissa and Chris Wood’s dating is the same as Lea Michelle and Cory Monteith dating during Glee? Meaning, staged. This could be the case of actors helping their characters to be likable. We all know a lot of Supergirl fans from season 1 who saw the entire show when it was the show it promised to be hate Mon-El because he is the opposite of what Kara wanted. James is a nice, caring, handsome, passionate, who works not to mention also good-looking and I know he did some stupid thing with the Red K but to his defense his seeing his own superhero fall from her own standard so let’s cut him some slacks. And now they gave her Mon-El? Really? So I guess they did found a solution, coz I may not care about actors and their private lives but there are fans who do. So that’s what their doing, a few pictures of Melissa and Chris in the beach and him carrying her bags are sure ways to sway the fan and leave him alone and next thing you know Mon-El will slowly be a hero. Coz people will be like, oh his such a gentle man with how he do this and that for her, or oh they look good together and the best comment will be, his not bad she loves him and Chris is not Mon-El. Chris is a loving, nice, sensitive guy. Yup, that’s how it would be. People will forget that it’s not the actors lives were watching but the television show about Supergirl who is supposed to be the ultimate girl power who fights crime side by side with her bad ass sister and their space dad, who celebrates Thanks Giving with her family and is hassle by her foster mom because it’s her job, who eats take out with her two sidekicks who for all her power and Alien constitution she still thinks Cat Grant is great even though she’s prickly. So what happened to Supergirl? I think she was left in CBS along with Cat Grant, Maxwell Lord and Lucy Lane. No wonder they have to make so many new non sense characters. And those people who are watching season 2 and thinks it’s the best of the season, I think these are also the kind of viewers who just like destruction and mayhem. These are the viewers who thinks that superheroes are dark, unhappy individual with savior complex. They all believe that every hero is just like Batman with his twisted past and darker nights ahead. They will never appreciate season 1 for what I stand for, for what James and Winn did to Kara when she’s first starting out, or Alex’ support or Cat Grant’s push and pull mentoring to Kara. They do however appreciate Mon-El’s way of being a hero, or Lena Luthor’s brand of girl power. Also, I would like to point out that when season 1 is airing and people are saying that there is something between Cat and Kara, the writers are so defensive in saying there’s nothing there. I know Melissa and Calista are good at what their doing but anybody who’s not trying not to see, can see that it is more than a boss and employee. But sadly they don’t want that, but come season 2 they are making it seems that Kara and Lena are a thing. And it makes me wonder if these “supposed” moments are meant for Cat and Kara but given Calista’s MIA status they have to give it to Lena. It’s funny but fans of Kara and Lena are so sure of them being a canon. Come top think of it, back in season 1 people are calling SuperCat fans delusional and awful things, but now it’s the SuperCorp that’s delusional. I think the Supercorp fans should know that they are the Fanfic to SuperCat’s Canon. SuperCat started it. The writers and producers should know that they did make a mess of season 2, I think the writers lost something when they lost Cat Grant.

[raina16]

Another thing I see people getting all "Wah Dean called Sam delusional". The way I take that is that Dean is talking about the way Sam is talking about DEAN's issues and acting like he's so well balanced. Sam's take on Dean's issues is half-assed, that's what's delusional. Sam is the one who is doing that. Not Dean. Dean's been very clear about his feelings and about WHY he feels the way he feels. Dean hasn't remotely acted like it's easy for him, quite the opposite. In fact more often than not he is that way throughout the series. Sam's the one who hides, Sam's the one who runs away. Sam's the one who never truly apologizes for his wrong-doing(they are always very general apologies, whereas Dean's tend to be very exact - this is what I did, this is how it made you feel, this is what I will try to change or not do again. Sam's the one who insists on twisting everything around to be about how Dean is at fault for everything somehow, rather than focusing on his own flaws, weaknesses and feelings. But yeah DEAN is the one with the problem. Sam got confronted and within 30 seconds he's managed to once again make it sound DEAN did something wrong and storm out of the room. Dean's been getting this for, what? At least a couple of weeks in the show(or at least over a week) and Sam wonders why he's angry? And Mia is a terrible terrible therapist. Not because she's a shapeshifter but because she apparently doesn't know how to do her job. Frankly Jack doesn't look very terrified either. He looked more interested if confused observer to me. Jack hasn't seemed particularly terrified of Dean at all. Jack is terrified of what his own abilities and nature may be, he doesn't seem particularly terrified of Dean.

And Dean hasn’t been taking his anger out on everyone around him - he’s been fine with everyone else except Sam and Jack, Sam because Sam is not remotely respecting his wishes or boundaries and Jack mainly because Sam isn’t respecting his wishes or boundaries.  Otherwise he’d probably be angry at Jack but he also wouldn’t be interacting with Jack much.

Sam’s own choice was to “give Mary space” and in fact he criticized Dean about not doing the same - that’s on Sam.  He doesn’t get to take his regrets out on Dean now, especially when Dean had next to NO relationship with her last season.  She was cold and distant to both of them most of the time and in fact most of her moments of affection went to Sam, beyond her “kill Dean’s childhood memories” moments with the pie and the meatloaf.  Having mom until he was 4 really is not that much better than Sam - first off as I keep saying, how much does anyone really remember from when they were that young and how accurately?  Dean also had to find out his mom didn’t do half the stuff he thought she did and that she left him to go hunting and lied about it, who of course knew nothing about any of it(never mind how out of character all this was from the young Mary we saw in those two episodes in Season 4 and 5).

So don’t give me this nonsense about how he had it “easier”.  If anything Dean had it harder because he had to overcome the disillusionment and just simply trying to reconcile the distorted memories of a 4 year old who saw his mother burn to death to the person who was here now(and he really tried to do that, he knew he had to do that, but Mary didn’t give him the chance, preferring to yell at him for stuff he didn’t even do). Sam had a more blank slate. Did everyone forget how hard Dean was having it right after he came back, how much he was worried about trying to find a way to connect with her?  He ever talked to Castiel about it.

Problem? You just upset your brother so much he had to leave the room. And Jack… look at ‘em. He’s terrified of you. You’re angry Dean. And? And if you don’t wanna do anything about it, that’s your business. But you’re aiming it at everyone in your life. [13.04]

[glenngaylord]

JEAN AND HER BROTHERS - My Review of THE MEYEROWITZ STORIES - NEW AND SELECTED (4 Stars)

I love Noah Baumbach’s work.  He’s like Woody Allen before things got creepy. Yes, he has pretty much carried the torch for a whites only, middle class New York, but he has demonstrated such a good ear for how people really talk, and a true artistry has slowly crept into his films.  His latest film, THE MEYEROWITZ STORIES (NEW AND SELECTED), which opened in select theaters October 13th and is also currently streaming on Netflix, may seem on the surface like the successor to HANNAH AND HER SISTERS, but displays its own unique rhythms and it’s own voice.   It also has a group of actors doing some of their finest work.

The film opens on Danny Meyerowitz (Adam Sandler) trying to find a parking space in Manhattan.  Next to him is his daughter Eliza (a lovely Grace Van Patten of the famous EIGHT IS ENOUGH/NATURAL BALANCE DOG FOOD dynasty), who shows a deep love for her father despite his agitated state.  Their bond feels real, the kind that allows for losing your shit and knowing the other person has your back.  

With Eliza off to college, Danny, always a little unlucky when it comes to financial success, plans on moving in with his aging artist Harold (Dustin Hoffman) and hard-drinking, hippie step-mother Maureen (Emma Thompson).  Trouble is, Harold and Maureen, are considering selling their apartment and moving to their country house.  I know, I know.  Champagne problems.  But Baumbach has a way of making you care, mostly because of Sandler being so attuned to his character’s desperation.  

It’s not all rosy anyhow.  Harold isn’t getting any younger and can’t help but compare his lackluster career to that of his old and wildly successful rival (Judd Hirsch, hilarious and spot-on as an artist of a certain age who tries to pull off a knit cap and hoodie).  Complicating matters is Danny’s brother Matthew (Ben Stiller), who has found success as a financial manager and escaped his clan by moving to LA.  Despite his distance, he remains Harold’s favorite. They also have a sister Jean, HOUSE OF CARDS’ Elizabeth Marvel, who completely disappears into her role of the child who can’t stand out in a family of such outgoing personalities.  The Meyerowitz’s gather periodically as an art show and an illness form the loose storyline, but the crux of the movie is the fissures in the relationships.  Told in loose chapters, switching points of view, the film builds and coalesces into a complete and touching tale of the bonds that see us through the toughest of times.  

As such, each leading actor gets their chance to shine, with Sandler doing the best work of his career. Obviously it’s been a long time since he’s been broke, but he mines the depths of his character so beautifully, you’re convinced he’s held on to that feeling all this time.  From his aching gait to his quick anger, quiet resentments, and deep affection, his Danny has me convinced he should just stop making his big, broad comedies and from here on out show us the great actor he’s been all along in such films as PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE, FUNNY PEOPLE, THE WEDDING SINGER, and now this film.  Ben Stiller, coming off of his great performance in BRAD’S STATUS, does great work here as well, especially during a gut-punching speech late in the film.  An early scene in which he futilely resists getting sucked into his father’s spiral of social slights gets such careful attention and precision from Stiller, Baumbach and Hoffman.  In the end, you’re convinced there’s no escaping that we all become our parents.

Now about those parents.  Dustin Hoffman!  Welcome back!  It’s been a while since he’s been given the opportunity to really chew on a role, and he does not miss the chance.  His Harold, who clearly never listens to anybody except his own delusional inner voice, is one of the true standout roles of 2017.  Hoffman reminded me of Laurie Simmons, Lena Dunham’s mother, in TINY FURNITURE, with his portrait of self-absorbed narcissism. Baumbach, while still creating his touching moments, doesn’t go all soft and gooey with Hoffman.  His Harold remains headstrong and not particularly likable throughout, and as moviegoers, we’re all the better for it.  Unfortunately, I thought Emma Thompson was wildly miscast.  With her accent going in and out and her wig always looking like a wig, she played surface neurosis and never seemed to get a grasp of what she’s doing.  It’s as if she always wanted to be in a Woody Allen movie and do some Mia Farrow schtick, but didn’t quite know how to deliver it.  She’s not terrible, but to me, the performance fell flat.  

Another minor misstep is what short shrift Elizabeth Marvel gets in the film.  Yes, she’s written as the forgotten one, and she even gets her own chapter, but, because she’s just so damn good and can go toe-to-toe with her fellow actors, I would have loved a little more.  Same goes for Candice Bergen in a too-short but effective cameo.  

Special mention must go to Jennifer Lame’s editing.  She cuts out of some scenes mid-sentence, perfectly complimenting the unstable drama onscreen, and in one jaw-dropping moment, uses multiple jump cuts and a quiet hush as Sandler looks dead into the camera.  Her style keeps the film from feeling like a shaggy Woody Allen knockoff and goes a long way towards raising the artistic stakes.  

All told, I really liked this film a lot, despite its lack of diversity.  Baumbach clearly knows the world he writes about and can find empathy even with the more compromised characters he writes.  The fact that he wrote an entire scene around a rude person in a restaurant who keeps leaving his empties on an occupied table gave me the sense that he’s got a perfect sense of the little crimes people commit on a daily basis.  We need Baumbach and he’s operating in his own little lane.  You don’t have to be Jewish to love this film…but as the saying goes…it wouldn’t hurt.