#i may hate how things are going but again its a content farm on youtube its gonna be what its gonna be 😂

[toooliix]

hey! alright so i may have done a thing

so for the past,,, idk 3 weeks? ive been going on a deep dive into spelling bee mostly to sedate my own curiosity of needing to know everything about what i'm interested in. as it turns out, there is a LOT of content with this musical, so i'm here to talk about my findings! note: i will be keeping this EXCLUSIVE to the original 2005 off broadway cast. as much as i'm a brown university girlie through and through, the original cast is where the content is. OKAY FIRST: youtube findings

a lot of small videos were made usually with logainne and leaf. you'll be quick to learn that they made the most off stage content. i have a public playlist with these videos, along with interviews, the original boot, and a few other things. the cast album isn't in it because that's audio only and i want visuals damnit. (plus its on spotify and easy to look up so.) the exception is 25apcsbmt12doc because its pretty underground and the purpose is to get word out about niche things.

second: myspace pages a lot of the spellers have myspace pages! this is like. a common thing!! only two were archived (leaf and logainne) and are able to be accessed! i'll talk about the others in a bit. they contain new information and i personally find them very interesting!

leaf logainne

HOWEVER: three are currently able to be accessed through modern myspace without needing an account. the format is off, but it's accessable.

barfee 25apcsb account panch third: other

there's two different things here so i'll separate them :]

3.1: r/v club

r/v club is a short film by rebecca feldman (one of the people that worked on spelling bee) that includes logainne! it can be found on her site with other short films. i believe this is the only one with her in it HOWEVER i have not checked therefore i could be wrong. it's set post-spelling bee, i believe. also jesse is in it but not as leaf.

r/v club

3.2: official site

spelling bee had a site!! and official merch!! its just a cool thing i think. it'll be mentioned again in the last section

spelling bee site

fourth and final: lost media (to my knowledge)

okay, spelling bee has.... QUITE a bit of lost media. again, this will be separated into parts.

4.1: C-R-E-P-U-S-C-U-L-E

before spelling bee was a thing, crepuscule (albiet mispronounced) was an improv play made by the farm. (same group who made r/v club) a lot of the characters were similar or the same, and it has a similar premise. however, it wasn't a musical. from what i've heard, there USED to be a boot of it, however i haven't found one of my own. i would love to be corrected.

4.2 myspace pages

remember how i was going to say this was going to come up again? hi thats now. outside of leaf and logainne, other myspace accounts were made! mitch (comfortcounselor), olive (mydictionary) + (oliveostrovsky), chip (chiptolentino), marigold (marigoldconeybear) an olive and barfee joint account (ilovemydictionary), and a leaf and logainne joint account (schwartzylogan). there's also another leaf account with the very confusing name of panchspell the issue with these is that theyre not archived, so you'll need a myspace account with a verified email to view these. in the year of our lord 2024 that's not exactly an easy find, especially since verification emails no longer send. plus, one of olive's accounts is dictionary.com now so,,,, who knows what it looks like there. most also need a connection, which makes things even MORE difficult. i hate how close but out of reach these accounts are.

4.3. spelling bee game

yeah they had a game. it's on the site, and it's eternally stuck at loading characters from my experience. here's the link anyway! game

4.4 the dirty bee

oh jesus its the dirty bee. so for context, in 2006 when the show was running, a few nights were booked for spelling bee that were meant for mature audiences and were 18 plus. it's catered towards people who have already seen the bee and want something new. it was inspired by jay (panch) and putting in words or sentences researsals that were clearly for funnies because he was bored. alas it became a derivative of the musical. all we know is what an article provides (theres more than one but the one linked gives the most info) and that chip quote unquote "finished off" at my unfortunate erection according to jose. there's rumor that chip is canonically bi in it but theres no sources so,,,, can't confirm that one.

article

(the quote is said in the reunion "stars in the house" and is found in the playlist)

conclusion:

there's genuinely so much shit in this musical i find it fascinating. this post WILL be updated with any other finds or information. PLEASE dm me or let me know if i got something wrong or if you have something to add (though do add a source, please and thank you)

ALSO: reblogs are greatly appreciated!! shoutout to the wiki, @/honkmaster69 and the people i spam in dms for helping and tolerating me <33

[girlobsessed21]

The 100 6x07 analysis - putting the mind at ease

I absolutely loved this episode, the attention to detail, the explanations, the tone, and pacing. It was definitely my favorite of the season so far. And, climbing the charts to the best of the series but you’d have to work really hard to top a The 100 finale. This season is shaping up to be the best, the stories they’re exploring, the sci-fi content, the unpredictability, everything is top notch. Well done Jason and the writers, are you good friends with Elon Musk?

Ready to take a trip down memory lane, buckle up, it’s a long ride, ready, let’s go! I’m breaking this up into Clarke’s encounters with her ghosts since it takes place solely in her mind. It’s fitting for Clarke to wake up in her prison cell given that she’s literally trapped in her subconscious. Also, if I had to picture the inside of it, I’d see drawings everywhere too.

The safe space - daddy’s arms

To me, it seems like the images and voices she encounters first are those she’s lost except for her child. Finn, Wells, Lexa, and of course her father. When Clarke realizes she’s dead, she’s glad her fight is finally over but regrets not being able to say goodbye. To Madi and mom. I’ve seen some people upset that she didn’t include Bellamy, that’s because she did greet him in a certain way when she apologized and told him he was her family.

Now, the weather is a direct product of her mood. When she encounters Jake, the sun is bright in a place she was once happy. Then, the thunder starts when she gets upset. I would have liked it to be Jake himself letting her in on the heartbeat and the fact that she’s alive but he’s only a figment of her imagination. Meaning it’s the way she would have wanted it too. 

I imagine this scene as the life Clarke pictured living. Content, with her father alive and Madi going to school while she draws and farms.

A.L.I.E to the rescue

Those words make no sense. Funny how she instantly transforms into Wanheda in the presence of the AI. I had some other theories on why Clarke survived and then I watched a Youtube video by the Theorizer before the episode aired which explained this fact and it made complete sense. A.L.I.E saved Clarke.

How does this work? I found an article in Techworld that explains it as follows: “At its most basic form, neural lace is an ultra-thin mesh that can be implanted in the skull, forming a collection of electrodes capable of monitoring brain function. It creates an interface between the brain and the machine.

To insert neural lace, a tiny needle containing the rolled up mesh is placed inside the skull and the mesh is injected. As the mesh leaves the needle it unravels, spanning the brain.”

To remove the neuro mesh from Clarke’s brain, they would have to EMP her. In other words, remove Josephine from the brain, drain the last of the neuro mesh and re-insert the body-snatcher.

Furthermore, I’d like to touch on the subject of there is no joy without pain. Believing this is tragical. Sure, life does include unpleasant bumps and hurdles but joy can certainly exist without pain. A glimpse into her trampled heart.

Then, A.L.I.E tells her the painful memories aren’t present. This boggles me somewhat because like I’ve said her most prominent drawings are those she’s lost. Isn’t that painful enough? Is that why she moved on to Mount Weather and the fighting pit or is there something even more agonizing than those? Something Josephine encounters by herself later?

Encountering the parasite

So, Josephine describes why both minds cannot survive simultaneously. I’m not a neurosurgeon but I gathered that the brain does not have the capacity to maintain both, which will lead to cerebral hemorrhaging and a stroke.  

A power struggle between two badass female characters is always a delight to watch. Clarke Griffin is not someone you wanna mess with, told ya! The hypocrisy in Josie calling Clarke selfish and dumb is amusing. Check the mirror, sweetie.

She’s not stupid in the literal sense, obviously, she only overestimates her own causes and abilities. But the “when I tell you not to think of an elephant, what do you think about” move is smart. Unfortunately for her, our blonde hero is one step ahead.

Unlike the prime princess, who lives in a peaceful castle on a moon, Clarke has fought her fair share of battles and easily kicks ass in a physical fight. Just as she thinks she’s won, the parasite shows up again with the news that she can’t die in the mind space. Dramatic sigh.

On being haunted by Bloodreina

“Even your projections hate you, Clarke.” In episode two we already see that she is her own worst enemy. She hates herself more than anyone for the things she’s had to do. 

1) Letting the bomb drop on TonDC

2) Stealing the bunker while Octavia fought for it

3) Leaving Bellamy to die in the fighting pits

Oh and now we learn why we don’t see Bellamy. He’s the one person she cannot face. In 6x04 she acknowledged leaving him to die is her deepest regret. In 6x01 she tells him he kept her sane during the six years alone. Clearly, she’d rather go up against Bloodreina, a controversial monster, than him. Why is that?

Bellamy has forgiven you, Clarke. Go ahead and forgive yourself.

Mount Weather

The place responsible for creating Wanheda. Now, it’s common knowledge that Clarke blames herself for what happened to Mia and Jasper. But seeing her question the godly decisions to save those she loves is heartbreaking. Yes, she’s made some bad choices in the past but this shows just how remorseful and compassionate Clarke truly is. War made her a monster, though that’s not who she is, at all. At least it led to the realization that she’s still in control of her own mind.

Finn’s death and Jasper’s cage

Sneaky, Clarke. Hiding the memory in one of the places you’ll never wish to revisit. But sadly, Josephine doesn’t mind exploring the place where you had to mercy kill Finn or dig into Jasper.

As if it’s not bad enough that the devil lures her to the last place she’ll want to see, she uses the one self-loathing thing about Clarke to manipulate her into giving up. Amusing how the final turning point is learning that Bellamy’s willing to sacrifice her for saving everyone else. Is it the comprehension that Bellamy no longer cares that causes her surrender or the fact that it’s the only way to save her people? A bit of both I assume.

The lock sequence was awesome - 0100. “You forgot about Bellamy and Raven - 0102. There’s only 6 of the 102 left now if I’m right. Seeing her cry in Lexa’s throne though, was so, so sad. 

They definitely saved the best for last with Monty

I cannot express my gratitude for this unexpected return enough. I’ve had some terrible Monty, Harper and Jasper depression hours over the last week and this made my day. So, Mr. Cockroach Murphy, this is not what Monty would have wanted. Letting them get away with killing innocent people for immortality does not fall within the definition of doing better. 

If only Clarke knew how much Madi needs her right now. She’s trudging on dangerous ground and could use some serious motherly guidance.

Who better to light the way to victory than the man who saved humanity? Six seasons and his death down the line and he’s still picking locks. Hate to be the one to say this, but Raven, Monty is purer than you are. 

Applause for using Josephine’s own tactics against her by controlling her through the no-go-zone.

Crossing the sociopath's threshold

That door looks so much like a blissful suburban family home over Christmas, which I’m sure Josephine had back on earth before her tragedy. Oh, and the library is amazing, I must say. I imagine my own mind looking much the same, I love books.

But in that perfect little head, the most horrific things are hidden. Why are the primes so afraid of dying? Is it only power and narcissism that causes Josephine to resort to oblation?

Clarke learns that she offered the nulls to the trees, hence banning them from their society because they hinder the nightbloodline. But Isaac, Kaylee’s lover, gave them to Gabriel to build an army, instead. I’m certain Clarke will use this info in the future.

Gabriel loved Josephine once, I’m sure we’ll still get to this story but I can’t wait to see the face-off between the two. His last host was already 95 at the time of the memory, meaning now, six years later, he’s 101. Which is why I assume he can only exist within the anomaly where time is altered. And like I’ve said many times before the trio in the woods will turn out to be Sanctum’s saviors.

But we also see the good side of Josephine, the person she once was. PTSD probably morphed her into becoming a sociopath and the mind-drives enhanced the trauma. I feel bad for what happened to her but it does not by any means justify the person she’s become.

Why is she looking to Bellamy when she says, “I know how to kill her once and for all.” Did she see the memory of Clarke telling Roan, “I’ll do anything, I’ll stop fighting. Just, please, don’t kill him?”

Bellamy Blake, you genius

I knew it, I called it. Bellamy was the first to figure out that Josie’s not Clarke and of course the first to deduce that she’s still alive. That was some big soulmate energy right there!!! Thank you for being a big ol’ nerd and paying attention in Earth Skills.

That smile, a stark contrast to the tears that rolled last week. His princess is not gone and he’ll swim the Atlantic to bring her back. He’s gonna reel in everyone’s help on this project but be careful Bell, Josephine does not go down easy.

Just a side note. I appreciate Miller and his standoffishness in this scene since no-one seemed to mourn her last week.

One last thing, I may have been wrong about Abby, she might know something and it’s possible that’s she’s planning on taking Russel’s body for Kane. An eye-for-an-eye?

That’s all folks. As usual, you’re welcome to disagree with me. I love hearing I’m wrong and why.

[glindanay747711-blog]

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[caterpillar-worship-blog]

This post contains a high amount of sexual content and has things that may disturb or at least “weird out” many people. There is also a lot of what the internet likes to call “cringe”. This is also a very long post and I only recommend reading if you are one of those people who likes seeing what goes through different people’s heads (eg: pretty much no one). TRIGGER WARNING: Pictures of real insects (larva),mention of sexual activity

I’m to the point now I almost wish I had no sex drive, its such a waste. I just want to play video games, do stuff I enjoy or maybe start drawing again. Desire is such a trap for me because I’m a pretentious person attracted to this ideal of beauty and stuff. It goes deeper but I’ll save that for a post that will probably get me labeled as a lunatic (spoilers: tulpas). I get all these fantasies and they feel great but then if I release them (eg: masturbate) I feel the cold reality hit me. I become filled with a desire to hug and cuddle, to hold someone and do things like nuzzle or just tease and play. When I cum I realize that I’m just a human being most likely put here to reproduce, which I probably won’t do and don’t think I even want to. I like the warm,soft feeling, its radiant kind of but then it reaches this point where the sexual part overrides everything and demands I release. I suddenly feel like I have become a slave and think back to my ex, sex with her and how most of the time it was unpleasant. I’m long past the fallout of our relationship and don’t hate her, though we don’t talk and probably never will. We were just different people and I was incapable of giving her the things she needed from a person. I don’t know how to describe my sexuality to others so I don’t. I don’t think I’m gay enough to proclaim it publicly but different things arouse me. My first sexual desires started when I was 7, I would watch both Sonic cartoons and had a crush on Tails. Me and my sister would play Sonic 2 and she would drown Tails and I would fantasize about protecting him. Eventually I started dry humping my couch on saturday mornings before my parents woke up. I loved bugs a lot too, I found them fascinating but I especially liked insects who went through complete metamorphosis and I thought grubs were really cute. I wanted a giant grub to hug and cuddle with who would never go into imago ever and just be my soft, squishy friend forever. He had this shy, easily scared personality, kind of cowardly but sweet. I would watch nature documentaries about insects such as wasps, beetles, bees etc and I loved watching them care for their fat, white little grubby babies. I would go to our old library during the summer and I had this one hardbook book about diving beetles. It was fun to read to me because I thought “water bugs” were super awesome and we use to have a pool so I’d see them during the summer. I remember getting a “crush” on the diving beetle larva. He was a good deal more fierce than grubs were but was still a larva. Diving beetle larva had a personality, he was more adventurous and wanted to be strong and grow up into his adult form so he could be super tough, like how shonen anime protags are. I still wanted to hug him and beg “Noooo, you’re so cute..I like you the way you are, diving beetle larva-chan..don’t grow up!!” I should stress that these insect characters I made during my pre-pubescent childhood were always males. It was not just insects though, I had another imaginary friend, who was a girl. She was this chipmunk like creature who would come to me during naps, usually when I was staying at my grandparent’s old house back when I was in preschool. The little chipmunk had a completely benign face, I can’t remember it 100% but I was and still am autistic so certain things would upset or bother me a lot. Everyone is this way but I had certain “compatibility” ratios with smells,foods,faces and cartoons. The famous youtuber Ulilila coined that term and it resonated a lot with me because I still use a similar system in my head. Anyways, the chipmunk fairy creature had a face that was cute but comforted me, nothing about her was unappealing or neutral by my compatibilities. I would be small, her size, and we would play in the branches of this giant tree. It was not a real life tree or a cartoon, it was in the style of an old painting. My grandparents had lots of old paintings around their house of ducks,ponds and farm houses so that’s probably why the tree looked the way it did in my subconscious. We would play tag and she would run away but I’d catch her and we’d hug. I would be so happy when I’d hug her but then she’d jump away again until I could not find her. I could hear her rustling in the leaves and calling me but I’d call for her and start feeling this really incredible sadness and loneliness. Then I would wake up. I had good parents who tried their best and no one ever abused me but my childhood was very lonely. Before I started playing video games my friends were cartoon characters. These included The Little Koala, Maya the Bee and Heathcliff  the cat. I also really liked the animated dinosaurs from the pbs documentary “Dinosaurs” narrated by the lady who’s name escapes me, I think she did Nick News too. The third and final episode scarred me SO HARD because it was about the dinosaurs dying off but I’ll save that for another blog entry, this is way too long but its not like anyone will read my shit. But yeah, childhood was lonely. Kids didn’t start being really mean until the 4th or 5th grade I want to say but I just did not mesh with anyone. I had no geeky buddies to teach me AD&D, I had no one to play video games with, no one cared about dinosaurs and insects like I did. For a long time I wanted to be a fighter pilot too but not because I wanted to hurt people, I just thought the pilots looked really cool with their helmet and masks that made them look like houseflies and I loved how fighter jets looked. I wanted to be that. I had an infatutation with the look and shape of planes like the F-15 and F-111 yet I never cared for the actual science enough beyond eventually learning pointless trivia about hardpoints and how much “payload” they could carry jets. To me the fighter jets and bombers were like the dinosaurs and insects, they all were my “proto-pokemon” and they each had stats, personalities and other stuff. I still love all these things...but with military planes I feel some guilt I guess and have to separate reality and my childhood fantasies. I -do- love the Ace Combat series because it took my precious fighter jets and gave them rpg style stats while putting them into what is basically a gundam anime but with jets instead....but then Ace Combat went garbo and started taking place in the real world and abandoned the anime-ishness for something more Michael Bay and ~*PATRIOTIC~* I guess. God, fuck you Assault Horizon. But yeah..I was lonely. Sports bored me to tears and I was awful at them due to the fact I had crappy motorskills and I did not care. I hated PE and field day was only ok because I could sneak some of my bug guides or comic books outside and pray I would get a teacher who did not care about my lack of participation and was just happy I was someone who could entertain themselves. This has gone on too long for one post. I had a lot more I wanted to say and I don’t think anyone will read this but I’d feel better just doing another post later.