#i may be able to swing keeping up the socialising but regular mexican food is out of the question

[thistransient]

The crush-eradication mission I mentioned some time (probably several times) previously is, unsurprisingly, neither going smoothly nor as planned. But never fear. I am determined. I started reading about ‘limerence’, a term someone coined for obsessive infatuation, and the takeaway seemed to be that if one’s life is meaningless and chaotic, it’s only natural to latch on to some attractive and commensurately unavailable person to give yourself the dopamine hits. Sure, that tracks. For good measure I asked a friend how to remedy this, he opined that it probably had something to do with self-love. Okay. I decided that meant I should de-lint my fancy black coat and start being the sort of fashionable person I enjoy checking out at the MRT station. For good measure I wore it to my latest check-up (finally they’ve cut me free from the weekly visits, I go back again in two months), took myself out to dinner at a Mexican place that transported me back to my days in the Yucatán, and despite going all the way home and laying down first ‘just to digest a bit’ (a dangerous activity), actually got up again and went out.  As in alone, to a venue with night-time activity. To be fair it was an event shared by a friend, so I was fairly certain that I might recognize someone, and could also hide in a corner if I didn’t. I gambled well, had both a non-alcoholic beverage and a nice chat with a couple people I knew, and then talked to a stranger who was not the bartender. (I had to know where s/he got that funky cat-patterned shirt that said 貓 on it, the exchange did not go beyond this but I had achieved my goal.) Around 22:30 it was too loud and my sources of conversation had been exhausted, so I went home and was in bed before midnight! Yes. A successful socialisation. If I can keep this up, rehabilitation might be on the horizon too.