#i may add a coda at some point but uh yeah

[effervescentdragon]

Not one of the prompts you reblogged but one I’ve had in my notes for months that I think you could do something amazing and awful with!

“We’re never going to have a happy ending, remember that.” - whatever pairing sparks joy angst.

i love you. how about,, uh, all of them?

1994

"Ayrton, I don't know what you want from me," he says, head in his hand, the one that isn't holding the receiver. "I'm not coming back, I'm not your punching back, there is nothing -"

Ayrton interrupts him. He's never learned not to take what he wants. He's never learned not to stomp over everything he feels may be in the way.

'Do you think you can be happy, not racing me? I don't think you can.' He laughs, and Alain despises that laugh. It's derisive and it grates on his ears through the phone. He should hang up. 'I can't be happy racing without you. You can't be happy without me either, Alain, I am right about this.'

He says it like a declaration; there is no question to be found anywhere. Ayrton doesn't ask. He states, and he takes, and Alain shouldn't pick up the phone anymore.

"There will never be a happy ending for us, Ayrton." He presses the palm of his hand into his eye until he sees stars. "We made sure of it."

Ayrton says nothing. Alain tries to breathe.

Neither of them hang up for a long, long time after.

2001

"I won't stay," Mika says.

Michael scoffs. "I don't want you to stay."

There is nothing to do after such a blatant, shitty, petulant lie except to laugh. So Mika laughs and doesn't let himself hear the anger underneath it.

"You're full of shit, Michael," he says.

"And you're a coward who's leaving, Mika," Michael replies, his smile as sharp as a knife. "Can't take serious competition?"

Mika could say so many things then. He could say I hate you and Fuck you, you bastard and You were never competition to me and I don't care about this anymore and You were never important to me.

He's too tired to lie. His body hurts, and his head is pounding, and his heart... his heart is doing something too. Something he doesn't want to think about too much.

"This isn't a movie, Michael," he says in the end. "There is no 'happily ever after' in racing." He chuckles, rubs his fist over his sternum. "We either lose or die in the end." Sometimes both, he doesn't say. There's no need. He sees in Michael's face that he knows.

"Well," he says with that big, boyish smile Mika has loved since he first saw it a decade ago, and which he still loves as much as he loves being in the car on track, "I am going to live forever."

Mika shakes his head. "You will." He smiles; not a lie. "Of course you will."

Michael grins, and pushes at Mika's knee with his own, and they stay silent. There's no need to speak anymore.

There was rarely need for them to speak anyway. Some things, they just understood.

2016

Nico pushes Lewis away. "Just - fucking move," he says, because he feels like he could either kiss Lewis or break his fucking nose if he stays too close. "I decided, and it's over, Lewis, it's done." He swallows. "I'm done."

Lewis is furious. He's not even trying to hide it and that pissess Nico off majorly. He's been hiding his fucking heartbreak for ages. He's been smiling for the cameras and holding his hands in his pockets or in his lap so nobody wohld see them shake, and he's been meditating on what he would say so he doesn't come.off too broken and too tired and too defeated - and he won, he fucking won - and Lewis can't even do him the courtesy of pretending for a little bit? He can't even allow Nico the common cordiality after - after everything; no, of course not. He has to come in here with all his usually tightly hidden emotions on display and put them all on Nico, throw them all into Nico's face, like a reprimand, like a punishment. You won, now deal with this.

Fuck you, Lewis, he thinks, and says "Did you think I was going to stay?" He scoffs. "Did you think I'll come back to have you try and take away this from me through another year like this one has been?"

He watches Lewis' eyes widen in guilt. I know you, Nico thinks viciously. I know you better than anyone. Fuck you. Fuck you for fucking all of this up for me and for both of us.

"There will be no happy ending, victorious narrative where you 'regain your crown' or whatever the fuck next year." He smiles, and Lewis' nosteils flare. "You lose."

Lewis says nothing for a moment. When he laughs, it's the most awful sound Nico has ever heard in his life; metal scraping into a wall and head hitting concrete and suffocation of a too-tight cockpit when you can't get out because your belt is stuck, all together screaming in cacophony.

"You lose too," he says finally. "You lose. Coward."

Nico tries to smile but everything is too distorted and he doesn't know if he manages. "Yes, but I lose by default, and not to you. And you won't win against me."

Lewis breathes in sharply. Nico watches him tap his fingers on his thigh. One, two, three, he counts, like he knows Lewis does in his head, a long-ago learned technique that they both use.

"Fuck you, Nico," Lewis grits through his teeth, and when he moves, Nico is there to meet him halfway and shut him up with a kiss.

[omgfloofy]

State of the WiPs

I figure I'll do a quick rundown of my fics and the progress on them, especially now that Insurgent King has finished.

I'll put it all behind a cut!

The Insurgent King (FFXV)

Though I finished the story 'The Insurgent King,' it is story 2 of an 11 story series. Instead of doing this in a single, long fic, I figured I'd build it out in a series of episodic stories.

The next story lined up is called 'The King's Gambit' and it is a Regis POV story that details the events to cause the setting of the AU. Beyond that, the next story is 'A Metropolis Under Twilight' which is a very Noctis and Prompto focused adventure in the Niflheim-controlled Insomnia.

Neither of these are expected to be as long as Insurgent King was, but only one of them is fully outlined. The other has had a new idea in it that's thrown the original outline off a cliff. lol

dal segno al coda (FFXV)

I'm still working on this! I just needed a big break on it.

This fic is a monster and I'm glad for the break. It was super helpful to get my head back in the game. I got out another chapter of Date Night, which is one of the two preview fics for it.

The plan is that I'll start posting it once I get part 1 finished. I'm doing some reworks on it right now, and will be back at work there soon.

Twilight (FFXV)

There are multiple shorts in the works for my Twilight AU.

A Part to Play

The Puzzle Box

Group Chat

Some Things Never Change

Ebb and Flow

I also have a few more shorts to add to On the Job, but I've only made notes for them and haven't written them yet.

FFXV Remix (FFXV)

I've picked out my remix fic awhile back, but I wanted to get Insurgent King out of the way before I started working on it. The fic is now outlined, and I should be good to go with it.

The Barber of Insomnia (FFXV)

Uh.... yeah. This really is just a working title. I don't want to call it right on the nose of that, but I have notes for a fic that's an FFXV flavored variation of The Barber of Seville.

Inconvenient Blessings (FFXV)

Outlined, but not written. I should change that soon!

Helldiving (FFXV & Helldivers)

This one is a planned one shot, but needs more background work put together before I can actually write it. It's going to be very on the nose.

Untitled Long Night Story (FFXV)

I still want to work on this. I changed how I want it to work, in terms of storytelling mechanics, though. So I'll need to rethink it.

Ad Astra (FFXV)

I've been fiddling with a playlist for this. That's the only progress there. LOL

Payday (Trails from Zero)

This was an idea I had during Yuletide 2023. I really liked the idea and may write it anyway.

Random Questions (Ys)

A set of drabbles that I started, each based on a question. There are twenty chapters planned. I have a reversal version planned, as well, that's a follow up to this, as well. I've, sadly, not touched this in a long time.

Untitled Adol and Laxia Adventure Fic (Ys)

What it says on the tin. Still being worked on. At some point after Ys VIII, Adol runs into Laxia again and has to go undercover with her to retrieve something that belonged to her once disgraced father.

The Haunting of Karen Jackson (Phasmophobia)

A dossier-type fic for Phasmophobia that's based on some of the actual games I've had with friends. I need to sit down and play through it a few times on an easy mode to get some ideas.

Lost Traveller (No Man's Sky & 16 16 16 16)

A No Man's Sky crossover story that's been in the works. Atlas demands I speak no more of this.

[salmonthestoryteller]

Against All Odds

Roswell New Mexico Coda 03x03

Isobel sighed - half in relief and half in frustration - as she parked her car by Michael’s truck.  Her brother was unsurprisingly sitting by his fire pit, but he seemed calmer than he had at the drive in.

Michael rolled his eyes when she got out of the car and approached him.  “I’m pretty sure I’m safe here, Iz.”

“There was a fire at the church.”  Isobel took a seat by him.  “We’re back to square one.”

Michael groaned, hanging his head over the back of his chair. “Well, the sunflowers are from me, I guess. So it’s someone I’d be willing to pay respects to.”

“I thought you were convinced it was you.”

“…”. Michael sat up, keeping his gaze on the fire.  “Well, Alex doesn’t think so.”

“You talked to Alex?”  Isobel asked.  Michael shrugged. “So you run away from Max and me - twice I might add-“

“I didn’t run-“”

“You never come to us for help, and trying to help you in anyway is a sure way to start an argument-“

“I don’t need charity-“

“But you will go straight to Alex Manes and tell him everything?”

“…if I was gonna kick it, I kinda wanted to see him at least once.”  Michael explained.

Isobel frowned.  The giddy feelings Michael had allowed to seep through their shared connection before Alex returned had been absent.  She thought perhaps he’d simply been too busy helping her save Max to say anything about their reunion but this didn’t really sound like that at all. “What happened?”

“Alex says if I was the one dead he’d… react differently.” A small flicker of hope again, but nowhere near as substantial.

“So, Alex said your death would affect him deeply.  Sounds like a pretty enormous declaration to me.”

“…yeah.”

“So why aren’t you with him?  Oh, shit, is he here?”  She glanced towards his trailer.

“What? No!”

“Well, I don’t get it.  What happened to all those “I think it’s our time” vibes-”

“He’s seeing someone else.”  Michael snapped.

Isobel froze at his words.  “Oh…”

Michael sighed.  “Yeah, so not our time.  Okay?”

“But I mean, if he’s saying you dying would affect him so much, how serious could he be about the other guy?”  She couldn’t help but point out. Honestly, she may have to do a little digging herself.  She wasn’t above being a manipulative bitch if either of her brothers’ happiness was on the line.

“I don’t know. I didn’t exactly interrupt their reunion kiss to ask how serious their relationship was.”  Michael responded sarcastically.

Isobel winced. She imagined that hadn’t been a great thing to witness.  “Maybe it’s not that serious?”

“Serious enough to let him know when he’d be back in town.”

“Yeah, but he also told you when he’d be back in town.”

“Alex has better options than a junkyard mechanic in Roswell with a criminal record. I can’t exactly fault him for choosing them.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  I thought you were going to date Alex Manes, not a member of my Mom’s yoga club.” Isobel quipped. “Is he really that interested in boyfriend bragging rights?”

“He’s a decorated war hero. Can’t exactly go on dates with a criminal.”

“Didn’t seem to have a problem asking you to use your criminal talents to break into a top secret alien facility though.”  Isobel crossed her arms.  “Wait, is this why you cleaned up your act this past year?  For Alex Manes?”

“Look, don’t we have a murder to solve?  My non-existent relationship can wait.”

“That’s not a no.”

“There were a lot of reasons, Iz.  Knowing about our moms. Sanders.  Having you, me and Max back to how we used to be.  And, yeah, maybe some small piece of me thought it might impress Alex.  Most of which has all been turned on its head, so… can we please focus on the murder now?”

“Do I at least get a name?”

“Isn’t the point that we don’t know the name?”

“I mean the name of who Alex Manes is seeing that you apparently think he can brag about to his yoga club?”

“He doesn’t do yoga.”

“Irrelevant.”

“If I tell you, will you finally drop the subject?”

“Deal.”

“Forrest Long.”

“A Long?  Are you serious?”

“Dropping the subject, remember?”

“Come on, you can’t expect me to not say something about that.”

“As much as it pains me to say it, Forrest isn’t a bad guy.  Black sheep of his family.  Guess he and Alex have that in common.”

If she was already concocting a list of all the gossip mongers in town she knew who might know something about Forrest Long, Michael need never be the wiser.  “Gregory isn’t so bad.”

“Please tell me you two never-“

“No.  Just an observation.”

“Uh-huh.  So are you still seeing the bartender?”

“We aren’t serious. I don’t think I can be serious about someone who doesn’t know about us. Our collective history on that isn’t so good.” Isobel let her eyes rest on the fire - she didn’t like thinking about how that applied to her own past. To Noah and how he’d never truly been unaware. How their entire relationship had been nothing but lies.

“I hate the idea we cover another murder. Thought we were done with lies…”

Isobel frowned, watching the flames. “What if I’m not crying cuz of who it is, but how they died?”

“Meaning?”

“What if it’s cuz we’re to blame? What if it’s like Noah and Rosa and-”

“Hey, that’s not gonna happen.”  Michael cut her off.  “The only potential evil alien around here is in a cage in the desert and he’s staying there.  Nobody’s making us do anything ever again, okay?”

“Promise?”  Her smile felt shaky even to herself.

“Promise.” Michael didn’t hesitate.

End

Author’s Notes:  *sideeyes Jones* If you dare make Isobel go through that again…

I don’t think they’ll actually do mind control again.  Though it is one possible explanation for bringing up Noah at the funeral in the vision.

Mostly this was an excuse for Isobel and Michael interaction. Cuz Isobel may live to torment her brothers, but their happiness really is important to her.  There is a touch of classism with the way every character who is not named Liz Ortecho treats Michael during the course of the series, some more than others.  Isobel, however, has definitely gotten better about it since the first season.  So I can definitely hear her reacting to the notion that Michael wasn’t “good enough” boyfriend material defensively.  Because despite her own “stepford housewife” Roswell persona, she never allowed it to interfere with having Michael in her life - even when his behavior was at its worst.  And I can totally see her social media stalking poor Forrest and being like - yeah, no.  My brother is way better. (Sorry, Forrest.)

While I’m pretty sure Alex has long forgotten the words that started the communication errors between Michael and him, I think a part of Michael is still very hooked on that “I want to be with you, but not if you’re wasting your life.”  He still feels at some level that who he is isn’t “good enough” and that’s probably why he was willing to take such a huge step back when he realized Alex was interested in Forrest.  He needed to prove he could be “good enough” first.  And I need Alex to smack him over the head with the fact that he stopped caring about that shit somewhere around Caulfield.

Also, the fact that the only person Michael feels safe going to when things are bad is Alex?  That says things.  He’s had moments with other characters but in each instance they’ve come to him.  The only person Michael willingly goes to is Alex.  He’s the only person he feels truly safe asking things out of.  The only one he allows himself to shed that “but if I owe them, that’s dangerous” mindset with.  And thinking about that is truly heartrending.

[spnsmile]

SPN CODA 15X13

“Hey, what’s going on?” Dean calls when he spots Cas and Jack preoccupied with the table.

“Oh.” the Nephilim flickers dull, soulless eyes over the hunters who just came back from a wild goose chase.

“Jack-” Castiel begins warily but too late.

“Cas was just telling me to eat his heart.”

Absolute silence reigns in the Bunker. A stillness too painful with hiking tension and pounding of hearts.

Jack couldn’t possibly understand it, but the way he saw how Dean had looked at Castiel scared him. Sam’s stare was pure bafflement, but Dean’s?

It was indescribable. The Nephilim couldn’t even put it into words. What was it that made him wary of Dean when he woke him up inside the cowboy room?

That feeling with a gun pointed on his head? It’s the same feeling except… Dean didn’t need his gun to have the same effect. The Nephilim couldn’t help glancing at the angel who tried to keep up with the hunter in a battle of eye contact, but he soon failed. And when Cas fails to have eye contact with Dean? There’s that one word that popped up his head and it spelled one thing.

Disaster.

It’s Sam. It’s always Sam who breaks the ice and for that, Jack will always be grateful.

“Cas, that’s not helping.”

Castiel diverts his eyes to Sam with tightness on his throat. “I know, I just…”

“He did tell me it’s only for the last resort.” Jack pipes up, trying to be helpful. He wondered if it was, but the way Dean’s eyes glints dangerously in his direction has him clamping his mouth. It’s like that gun again, heavy and… Much more. But Dean’s expression closes at once and he is turning away before anyone can speak again.

“Great. Uh, yeah you guys have some good talk. I’m gonna go take a shower.” he waves his hand and goes, leaving Sam sighing heavily while Castiel swallows hard.

Very hard. And then the angel just stands up too and trails after Dean’s footsteps. Jack exhales so loud and leans back on his chair with large eyes at the entrance to the corridor where Castiel’s back disappeared.

He turns to Sam with dry lips.

“That was… Scary.” he shifts on his chair while Sam slowly takes the space Castiel just left. By the looks of his face, Sam has plenty to say and Jack would rather have that than Dean’s whose silence can kill.

“Jack… Let’s talk.”

***

The footsteps in the corridor are heavy. The scurrying footsteps behind him are lighter and barely touching the floor with his pace.

“Dean-”

No answer.

“Dean!”

The hunter doesn’t bother as he turns to the next corridor till he’s in front of his room. He pulls on the doorknob when a hand slams it shut from his back.

Castiel finally catches up behind him.

Dean grits his teeth but he doesn’t turn. He closes his eyes patiently with a throbbing vein at the side of his head. He gotta cool it down.

“Cas, I want to enter my room.”

“Dean, I-” Castiel’s voice is all over the place the way it cracks and hesitates over his words.

That’s unfair. He shouldn’t be the one feeling broken. Dean hates the shaken tone. The way it sounded to him, Cas was certain wit what he wanted to happen.

“Your hand. Take it off, I want in.”

“Dean, you know I only said that as a last consent in case there’s no other choice. And I-”

“It’s okay. I get what you want to do.” Dean opens his eyes.

Clarity is there. Cas is doing, saying what he thinks must be done. And Cas has always been right about stuff, always looking far ahead unlike him who can only see as far as his shoes, only live in the moment and act at the moment.

If it’s being objective compare to being emotionally controlled, then it’s probably Cas who gets the right call.

Dean isn’t good when it comes to his priorities and he thinks he never will be, so he left the table before he could say anything horrible.

He’s done being horrible to Cas.

“Dean, let me at least explain. It’s not anything sacrificial or me throwing myself away-”

“Dean…”

“It’s alright, I just gotta sort stuff.” he can’t look Cas in the eyes. He chews his dried lips and at least gives a side glance to his best friend. “It’s fine, Cas… I’m not…”

“I still want to talk,” Cas says quickly, eagerly.

“Fine. Talk."

Cas seems ready for the crossfire. He never did back down from the hunter.

"Dean, you're angry about the "heart but it isn't what you think it is."

"Oh sure. Because there's a metaphor for offering their hearts to get eaten! Jack said it clear! How else am I supposed to interpret that, Cas!?" Dean bites down his bottom lip tight. The pain doesn't even register, he could make it bleed and it wouldn't make a difference.

What bothers him is the angel still acting like it's no big deal.

"This heart thing isn't a coincidence. Just how many angels do you think are still out there?" Cas doesn't even know any pedal breaks and Dean's just itching to tackle him but at that closed space?

"Yeah, noticed that huh? Good. Spot on."

Castiel frowns while he clasps his hands together.

"I think we would be blinding ourselves at the possibility. But, it's as Jack said... it's a last resort if needed be, Dean and I... I am just as much willing to bet my life on Jack if that's what it takes to win."

A win. Dean hung his head as he remembers. This isn't just about them anymore.

"I know." he just nods again, throat burning like he's just taken the strongest whiskey. A win they needed badly where sacrifices will happen. How could he forget? "I know," he repeats more firmly with heart sinking. 

"If you know..." Cas tilts his head, voice gravelly. "Then why are you still angry?"

"I'm not. I mean... What do you want me to say?" he flickers a lookup, the force in the meeting of their eyes are full static this time, silent with intensity and meaning but its the quiver of resignation in his deep voice that gets Cas leaning forward with all intent to invade space.

"At least don't leave me behind. Stop walking away from me while we're both here." Castiel says behind his ears and the shiver that runs on his spine jolting a reaction over his pants. "I'm trying here, Dean."

Try harder." Dean's voice is rough as he wills calm, summon it with all his heart for his body to stop aching for touch.

"Dean..." Cas's voice now turns resigned and it's unfair. Dean turns his head from the front seat and locks eyes with the angel and just lets him see everything. It's futile to pretend a wall still exists between them. Not with the pooling heat inside his jeans.

Not that he needed Cas to know...

"I'm not angry that you think you have to make that call... Hell, every year I make one single wish you and Sam would kill me."

"Dean-" Cas just looks hurt so Dean finally gives in and raises his body from his chair, feet stepping carefully on the front sear before hooking it on the other side.

Castiel watches him dive on the next empty seat at the far end with his bowlegs making it easier to land. After a few more shifting of legs and ass, Dean sits up beside the angel and sighs.

"S' matter with me saying it? How this ends, its gonna be ugly, you just gave a very good example of one. There's no happy ending here, Cas, and there's no point pretending. We know what's waiting for us there. There's no saving the day without all of us kicking god's bucket list, but..."

But...

He looks up with as much determination enough to gey Cas attention when he adds-

"You will not lose yourself to Jack. Don't make it horrible for him, man. I've been there...me wanting you guys to kill me, I just want it to end." Dean peers at the blue round eyes, initiating the end of distance this time when he slides closer to the angel. Dean nods at the angel seriously.

"Jack may be soulless now, and he got a mission. But you don't let yourself die on his hands because at the end of the day? That blood? It's what will make Jack. You make him promise to do the horrible and he will do just equal horrible to everything. That's what you need to see. You get to die... and you get to destroy Jack at the same time. D'you really want that to happen, Cas?"

Castiel stares at him. Just looks and this time, the blue eyes don't look as confident. Dean blames himself for doing that so he gives him an apologetic look.

At least Cas looks like he will listen now. That's enough for the rocks grinding down Dean's stomach to disappears much to his relief.

He can convince Cas. He can convince his angel to take it all back. Convince Cas there's still a way other than him being another sacrifice. Dean can do all that part later on, but at least, he wants Cas safe. Wants him okay. Just... Wants him.

He wants Cas.

Cas looks soft and lost the way his eyes fall down his hands, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he takes in Dean's words. Out of instinct, Dean caresses his smooth cheeks without thinking. Cas looks broken and maybe Dean feels the same way too because that's how it's always been. They damn broken people together, repairing the other.

His touch lights life back in the blue eyes. Before he knows it, Cas grabs a fistful of his collar but stays an arms-length away, leaving Dean with heart up his throat and butterflies flapping inside his guts.

"Cas-”

"I don't want to... I can't leave Jack..."

"Yeah, sure." Dean feels a tinge of jealousy, but he cannot be selfish now. Cas has found another reason, another being to be faithful to, to be loyal to and Dean's not cutting it with him being at the center of all death and destruction.

He gotta let go of his angel too.

"Stay with Jack. He'll need you when all of this is over. He's already lost his mom and I don't think we need to look up my hand for palm reading, we know I won't make it there,"

Cas grip on his collar tightens.

"I told you to stop saying that," he growls,  pulling Dean even closer enough to leave the hunter crosseyed. "I'm not going to lose you, Dean."

"It's okay. I'll get there in the end anyway."

"I don't want to lose you." Castiel falls silent for a moment.

"You won't." Dean wished he could believe that himself. "It's you I'm worried about."

"Why?" Cas wraps an arm across Dean's chest, head comfortably on top of the man's chest.

"Cas, you basically just told Jack to go all "The Ripper on you. And you know who's the big bad wolf behind my back... Let's not make promises here."

"Dean." Castiel pulls Dean so they're facing each other again. I don't want to lose you."

Dean just kisses his lips in answer. Sweet and very much in need, he lets Cas lead this time until he is breaking away.

"Tell me," Cas says gruffly, letting Dean up a little so their eyes meet again.

"What."

"Tell me to stop wanting to take you away." he confesses, "To bring you somewhere safer where nothing like this can hurt you... Can take you away... Please, Dean."

Dean opens his eyes. He could feel Cas's body tensing. Could feel Castiel's forlorn soul in need of consolation. Half of him wants to tell the angel he can't. Half of him wants to tell Cas there's no escaping their fate this time. No resurrection, no reruns of the show but just...fucking cold-

"Dean..."

It was said with urgency and need that has the hunter reacting on instinct. Dean slinks his hands around the angel's chest  He grazes his forehead past the wet lips and damp cheeks. Cas had been crying.

Pained, Dean reaches and cups Castiel's face like its everything he needs on his hands. The angel looks at him, eyes wet from tears and how could Dean not say it? How could he even doubt it?

"Then we win."

Cas blinks. "What?"

Dean grits his teeth. "We win..we don't let that bastard win. Cause as much as you want to take me away, I wanna do the same thing. But... Our feet wouldn't take us far. Running away will only give us grace time, but it won't solve anything..."

He wipes the tears away, hating the way Castiel is breaking to pieces about something that hasn't passed. Dean decides he doesn't want that. He embraces Cas again.

"We're gonna win this with us both living... All of us... We're gonna win this to live, not to die, you hear me, Cas? Let's not think of dying while living, hear me?"

Castiel nods, burying his face on Dean's neck with fingers holding the man's arm tight and at that moment, Dean's heart swells. He remembers everything he has been fighting for since the beginning. At that moment, he felt like he can protect everything. Protect Cas and his family and they'll be damned if anyone tries and stops him.

The nip on his neck reminds him of another thing. He pulls back to look the angel in the eyes, Castiel who follows his neck with lust dancing in those blue eyes, eager and wanting. In love.

Protect Cas he will. ✨

Aw! I found the keep reading hehe. Also full form on A03 but that's EXPLICIT tag so... ❤ anyways :)

[bethgreeneishopeunseen]

Interview Inconsistencies & Strangeness

Emily and the other walking dead actors may be amazing actors, but no one is a perfect liar. Over the last two-and-a-half years they have given off subtle clues in their speech and behavior patterns, specifically in relation to Beth. For ease of research and to stress how suspicious the whole Beth conspiracy is, I gathered all the suspicious interviews and articles that I could find, as well as any metas on them that I had in my archives. This compilation isn’t just my efforts, but all of the efforts of Team Delusional, as you all helped to provide the evidence. I would also like to give a special thanks to @fioredi for her help in finding some interviews.

If there are any interviews that you think are suspicious, please reblog them with the relevant quote/time mark and the source/link.

Present Tense:

In early October of 2014, Emily was on the podcast, EW Morning Live, with Dalton Ross. (It was likely recorded in September, after she would have finished filming.) She was giggly, referred to the show in the present tense, and even mentioned buying furniture for her apartment. When she was asked if she was going back to Atlanta, she quickly said, “I will be,” as if she had let something slip. (X).

Under the Radar: “Well, obviously, we're not all filming all the time. It depends on scenes and episodes and stuff, so I know I'm going to have some time to still fit in some stuff. But it's funny how this has become a home base for me, because when I'm here I'm focused on just working on one thing, and it's quieter. I'm usually not trying to fit a million things into one day. As much as the show is not a calm show, there's something really nice and calm about being in Georgia. It's a great atmosphere. Now it's beginning to feel more like a home, because this is my fourth year on the show. It's very familiar here. I'm sure the season is going to be amazing, and it's great to be around my family. During the break, we all go off and do our own things. I'm doing my music, and Norman does his photography. But it's always good to be back. It's such a supportive group.” (X) (X). (October 7th, 2014.)

Emily gave this interview probably within two months of it being released. She moved to Atlanta during season 3 (X at 46:13), and she’s had her Georgia apartment going back to summer 2013 (X), and the “now” is pointed. She felt like Georgia was home during 5b, because she spent most of the fall filming in secret, and because of this arc, she knew Beth would be one of the last characters standing.

On Coda’s Talking Dead, they showed a clip from set of Norman talking about filming the episode: “That was a really crazy day, because I really like Emily and I like that character.” (X) (X). (0:15). (November 30th, 2014).

FML 949: “It’s hard for me sometimes to separate, ya know like oh if I was just watching the show, like as far as making the show is so much…was so much a part of my like everyday life…” (X) (X) (June 11th, 2015). *audio removed*

Jefferson Public Radio (JPR): When asked what it’s like to pretend to kill people, she said, “Yeah, well we do a lot of…you know we have a lot of, um…there’s stunt coordinators and stuff like that on set, so there’s some choreography involved and also there’s some, um, there’s some like (pause) uh, special effects that are involved too so sometimes you’re not actually stabbing the person in the head…” (X) (X). (June 11th, 2015).

SplashTV (at 1:10): “[The Walking Dead] is so protective of anyone finding out anything that we have fake names. [...] My fake name was Mariah.” (X). (August 9th, 2015).

TPTB likely changed Emily’s call name after season 5 as a further security measure.

Spoiler Alert: “[Masters of Sex is] [v]ery different from Walking Dead,” Kinney said. “To me that definately appealed to me. I loved working on Walking Dead but I sort of liked the idea to of going to work and, like, people not getting shot in the throat. To me I welcomed the break of not necessarily exploring people getting torn apart but instead exploring relationships and sex and drama and people falling in love.” “This was a nice change of pace.” (X) (X). (7:14) (7:58). (August 17th, 2015).

Screener: “Now I’ve watched all of [Masters of Sex] and I really like the show. It’s really fun to do something that’s about relationships and families and [being] sexy. It’s a nice break from “The Walking Dead,” which, of course, was a lot of death and destruction. It’s fun to have scenes of just talking things out. That’s really fun for me.” (X) (X). (August 30th, 2015).

Emily spent most of The Walking Dead Food Special discussing the show, specifically in the present tense. She didn’t talk about her current projects until the end. (X) (X) (X) (X). (October 6th, 2015).

Julia Stoepel: “today i happened to run into emily kinney who is beth on #thewalkingdead and i am her german voice.” (X) (X). (October 31st, 2015).

(X) (evidence of her speaking English well, meaning that the quote above wasn’t just a grammatical mistake).

Hallmark Channel (at 0:27): “Is there a big difference in playing the two? Emily Kinney: They’re definitely very different projects. [...] For Walking Dead you know I show up to set and they just get me dirty and bloody and then I show up to set for Love On the Sidelines and I get to be pretty.” (X) (X) (X). (January 13th, 2016).

At her HelloGiggles interview, Emily refers to the show in present tense and as “we” when discussing the differences between TWD and Conviction when it comes to getting ready. This makes sense as we’ve theorized that she filmed for both TWD and Conviction, so she would constantly be going back and forth. She’s made similar comments about hair and make-up when talking about Masters of Sex and Love On the Sidelines. By the time of this interview, she had been off the show for two years and done multiple projects, so she had adjusted to non-horror costuming, but she hasn’t. (X). (3:20). (August 30th, 2016)

For her interview on Intrepid Broadcasting, she uses the present tense and hedges when talking about filming Beth’s death, using “umm” a lot. (X) (X). (7:38). (November 16th, 2016).

Your Morning Show: “I love being on the show” when talking about TWD. (X) (November 1st, 2016).

A fan met Emily and told her that, “Beth and Daryl sure were a match”, and Emily agreed. “They sure are.” (X). (November 2016).

Newschannel 20: “I’m so thankful to be a part of something that had such a big audience. And umm, I learned a lot. It was a big chunk of my life. It was like four years, working on that show. I learned a lot. I think I became a better actor, working with the people I got to work with. So yeah it was a good time.” (X). (June 9th, 2017).

Emily’s two primary social media accounts, Instagram and Twitter, reference her role as Beth in the present tense. On December 18th, 2014, she took “Beth on The Walking Dead” off her Twitter bio but added it back hours later. Then in late 2015, her Instagram hacked and her bio was changed. She had to fix her bio, and could have updated it, but she put Beth back. (X) (X).

Edited 7/22/2017 to add: Once on Twitter she replied to a follower about her bio being changed, explaining that her manager did it. Her manager will sometimes change things or sometimes tweet information. She kept Beth in because she liked it (X).

Interview Anxiety:

Lauren Cohan and Scott Gimple were asked about Maggie’s relationship to Beth. Lauren joked that the Greene sisters were texting the whole time, and Gimple mentioned radios before cutting himself off, as if it were a spoiler. “Yeah, there are radio waves that are still…[hesitates and cuts himself off] Okay, we just won’t get into that.” (X) (X). (July 30th, 2014).

When talking about Beth’s “death” after Coda immediately aired, the cast and crew all exhibited traits associated with lying. Emily probably did the most, who was on Talking Dead at the time. (X). (November 30th, 2014).

BTS of Coda (Andrew Lincoln): “I said to Emily, “You’re so fricking good. People adore you. Which is why you're worthy of this death.”” *fidgeted and didn’t look directly at the camera* (X) (X) (2:40). (November 30th, 2014).

Access Hollywood: “They brought Scott back. If they came to you and asked you to do some sort of flashback, or dream sequence, do you feel like you’re done, or would you be happy to say yes, provided you aren’t busy touring [with your music]? Emily: Yeah, it would just depend on my schedule, but of course I would. I mean, I love being on set, I love working. Of course I would. I love working.” Repetitious, which is a sign of lying. (X). (December 3rd, 2014).

When asked about bringing dead characters back for 5x09, Greg Nicotero’s tone and body language changed when talking about Beth/Emily. Chad L. Coleman first had to remind Greg about bringing her back, and then Greg gave unnecessary detail about it. The detail also clashed with filming schedules and with what Emily mentioned at a concert about being brought back. (X). (February 8th, 2015).

While listing off the dead characters in 5x09, Chad L. Coleman conveniently forgot to mention Beth. (X). (February 8th, 2015).

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY COMMUNITY: “What’s the experience been like, being killed off of a show? The fans were pretty upset about it. EMILY KINNEY: I would say now, I mean, it’s great. What’s really cool about this show is that even though I’m done working on it, there are conventions and people reaching out. It’s really exciting to see that fanbase, that they’re so interested in what I’m going to work on next. Obviously I miss working on the show. Right now a lot of the cast members are on hiatus anyway, but what’s cool is that working on that show, I made these really amazing friendships. When I do these conventions, I get to see all these friends again. So even though I’m not working on the show anymore, I still feel really connected. It’s also one of those shows that people will watch later—you know, binge-watch. So I constantly have people tweeting at me or contacting me saying, “I just started watching this show” or “I just finished season four.” So even though I’m done working on it, it’s kind of one of those shows that keeps generating more fans, and it’s something that will always be a big part of my life.” Repetitious, which is a sign of lying. (X) (X) (X). (February 23rd, 2015).

While on River 105.9, at 5:54 the hosts asked Emily if it would be possible that Beth would return as a flashback or hallucination. Emily struggled with a response before diverting the conversation to her other acting projects like The Flash. She never actually answers the question. (X) (X) (X). (February 23rd, 2015).

At 5:25, Emily also mentions that her album, This is War, would come out the first week of May. This makes sense, as albums usually come out before an artist goes on tour. Instead, Emily pushed up her album release date to early October, after she had done most of her shows.

On Good Morning America, leading up to the season 5 finale, Norman licked his lips and looked excited yet cautious when asked about romance. As we all know, Bethyl is the only romance for Daryl (X) (X), so that’s what Norman would be excited about. Which is only possible if he knows that Beth is coming back. At 3:28 in the interview, he participated in a trivia game with the host. He got everyone question except which death nearly broke the Internet that season. He said Emily instead of Beth, also licking his lips before responding. (X) (X). (March 27th, 2015).

(photo credit @bethgreenewarriorprincess​)

On Talking Dead, Seth Gilliam was asked about Boots’s identity, and his demeanor and body language changed. He stuttered and spoke strangely (X). (February 19th, 2017).

Greg Nicotero, Christian Serratos, and Norman Reedus all exuded anxiety, and Norman became very fidgety, when asked which dead character they would want to bring back. (X) (X). (March 3rd, 2017).

Newschannel 20: Repetitious, which is a sign of lying. (X). (June 9th, 2017).

Interview Absences:

Emily hasn’t done a panel in the United States since before Coda. It was even confirmed that at least once the network canceled one of her scheduled panels. (X).

During a Behind-The-Scenes video for 5x09, Emily was the only main actress not in the video. All of the actors in Tyreese’s hallucination, except Martin’s and Emily, were there. Interestingly, Emily posted a picture of her in a van, with faded scar make-up, at the time the bedroom scenes were being filmed. She likely filmed the bedroom scenes first and then left, to go film. (X) (X) (X). (February 8th, 2015).

Emily didn’t do any commentary for the season 5 DVDs. It was her last seasons, which included her own episode, yet nothing.

None of the Grady actors have done a panel, even though past communities like Terminus has, and there have been a limited amount of interviews.

During an AMA, Emily confirmed that she would be recording her version of Struggling Man. She promised to release information in the coming weeks, but she never did. (X). (October 15th, 2015).

Lack of Death:

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “I know it’s tough for you guys off-screen, but what does the loss of Beth do to Rick and to the group moving forward on-screen?” Andrew Lincoln: [...] And yet again we’re in a desperate place and we’re in the middle of Atlanta that is overrun. We’re compromised, yet it’s one of these places where he has to step forward as a leader. There isn’t time to dwell on this. He has to keep pushing his troops forward. [...] I do have to say that losing Emily — it was so painful on so many levels. I adore the girl. I think she’s amazing. We lost the voice, her song. And after her having such a tremendous episode that she led in in episode 4 to not even get the chance… I mean, I had three or four seconds to act with her and then she was taken away. It’s just cruel, this job, man. It’s just cruel.” (X) (X) (X). (December 1st, 2014).

MTV News (Andrew Lincoln): “The interesting thing about the [Virginia] decision was it was the only physical way they could honor Beth. She’s dead and gone, and we can’t affect anything outside of that. One thing we can do is honor her wishes, and try to see if we can find Noah’s parents. I love that, when you realize the reasoning behind it was actually a softening, a tenderness, the humane side of Rick we haven’t seen for quite some time...[He had] very possibly a quite paternal feeling towards her.” Repetitious and overly-detailed, which are signs of lying. (X) (X). (February 3rd, 2015).

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY (Andrew Lincoln): “There are a lot of people grieving the loss of such an important person. There was so much hope invested in Beth and finding her, and then to have it ripped out of our grasp was unbearable for actors and for the story.” (X) (X) (February 6th, 2015.)

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “So, why was it Tyreese’s time to go? SCOTT M. GIMPLE: That question for any character is very difficult. You know, like, why was it Hershel’s time to go? Why was it Bob’s time to go? I mean, because there are no right or wrong answers when it comes to this stuff. I’ll say that it was his time to go in as much as that’s what the story dictates—not just in that moment, but for the future too, and the way the story turns off of these events.” (X) (X). (February 8th, 2015).

On 5x09′s Talking Dead, Greg Nicotero mentioned that “[The characters have] lost two people in the group,” either forgetting Bob or Beth’s death. Considering in the same episode he had to be reminded of Emily being brought back to set, I’m going with Beth (X). (February 8th, 2015).

Norman doesn’t refer to Beth as dead. For example, he describes “carrying [her]”, not her body. (X) (X). On Good Morning America, when asked which season 5 death caused an uproar, he said Emily. (X).

On the Talking Dead Fear Special, Chris Hardwick listed out the moral compasses, who always died, like Dale and Hershel. He left out Beth. (X) (October 4th, 2015).

News 4 Jax (at 1:03): “Once Beth left I felt like we had done a good job of you know really... filling out her character and like people got to know her.” (X) (X) (X) (X). (November 18th, 2015).

So in summary: People forget that Beth is dead.

Breaking the News:

During Scott Gimple’s tenure as showrunner, former cast members find about their characters’ deaths with some advanced notice. Later the cast and crew throw a death dinner. Everything related to Emily finding out and what happened afterwards stands out from the others.

“TVLINE: “How long have you known about Andrea’s death? Laurie: I didn’t get the official word until a few days before we began [shooting] the finale. It was a shock to everyone. It was never part of the original story docs for Season 3. And it was rather unexpected. That said, this is The Walking Dead. This show is not conventional by any means — and we know that as actors going in. So you roll with it. You show up, you do the best job you can, and you honor the storytelling. Overall, this has been an extraordinary experience and I just feel so blessed to have been a part of it.” At a con last summer: “Well I had an 8 year deal, I was supposed to be there until the end. I was supposed to end up with Rick. I was supposed to save Woodbury on a horse, and I was buying a house in Atlanta.  I got the call at 10 o’ clock the night before, while I was shooting, from the show runner who is no longer a part of The Walking Dead, saying that they couldn’t write the episode and that he was killing my character. So we all got the script everybody on the set was sobbing. I felt like I got shot. None of it was supposed to happen the way it did.” (X). (March 31st, 2013).

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “You mentioned you didn’t know yet when you were filming episode 5, so when and how did you get the news of your impending fate? SCOTT WILSON: Actually, I found out right after that episode, which was kind of ironic. And I kind of truthfully expected it after episode 403 when Hershel had this great speech about risking your life and what you’re risking it for. I had a suspicion then. And then when I read 405, that really confirmed my suspicion in a way, but I wasn’t officially told until after we were finished shooting 405. Did you plead with the producers for a stay of execution like Rick pleaded with the Governor? He called me into his office and I went in and talked to him. He explained to me that I was going. I said to him, “I think you’re making a big mistake, but it’s yours to make and I’m not going to try to talk you out of it.” Someone from the show was going to go. I would not want to be the one to make the decision that he had to make there. And I respect him for how he told me, and I am grateful for the scenes and episodes they gave me before they took me off. So, it’s all good.” (X). (December 2nd, 2013).

On Coda’s Talking Dead, Emily mentioned that she found out during filming for 5x07 (X). (November 30th, 2014).

TVLINE: “How long have you known that Beth was getting killed off? EMILY KINNEY: Since late August. I found out the day the script [for the episode] came out. Who told you? [Showrunner] Scott Gimple. Did you reach out to your co-stars for emotional support? I think the original plan was for everyone to get a call [before they read it in the script]. I know when Scott Wilson was killed off [in Season 4], everyone was called [ahead of time]. And I think Scott Gimple originally [planned to do] that because he had times set up to talk to everyone that day. [But] I know not everyone got called, because some people called me the next morning when they read the script. Like, Norman Reedus and Andy [Lincoln] didn’t get any kind of call or anything like that. [Editor’s note: A source close to the show maintains that Gimple, on set in Atlanta, contacted all cast members either in person or via phone within hours of his meeting with Kinney, well before the script was distributed.] Did Scott offer an explanation? He didn’t, really. I think the whole point is there is no rhyme or reason [to the deaths on the show]. It’s like real-life. Why does that person [die] as opposed to other people? We really don’t quite know why.” (X). (November 30th, 2014).

Emily meant late July, not August. 5x07 was filmed at the end of July and Coda at the beginning of August.

The Hollywood Reporter (THR): “When did you find out Beth was going to die? Emily Kinney: The day the script came out, during episode 507. I was really sad and shocked, I had no idea. I had a meeting with [showrunner] Scott Gimple and it was very sad. He didn't explain why [Beth was being killed off], but he said it was something he had been planning since season four. I was very upset. We both love working together and for whatever reason, that's how he saw the character going.” (X). (December 1st, 2014).

There was an interview that Emily met with Scott in his office, but I couldn’t find it. And actors meeting with Scott in his office is characteristic of main characters’ death. It’s consistent in past cast members’ interviews, so why would Emily mention it only once? Because it’s a lie, and it’s hard to keep the details of a lie straight the more times you tell it. (X).

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “Tell me how and when you got the bad news. EMILY KINNEY: The season finale was episode 508 and I found out during 507. So I found out a few hours before they released the script to everyone. Showrunner Scott Gimple gave you the call? I actually talked to him in person. So did you go then tell your castmates or did they find out on their own? All I know is how I found out, which is that day a few hours before the script came out. So different people from the cast reached out to me after that and that was really nice.” (X) (December 1st, 2014).

The Daily Beast: “When did you first receive the news that Beth would be killed off? Emily Kinney: I found out during [Season 5, Episode 7], the day the script came out. I mean, I found out a few hours before the script went to everyone.” (X). (December 1st, 2014).

Us Weekly: “How did the showrunners let you know about Beth's death? Emily Kinney: I found out the day that the script came out. They came to me and told me before everyone else in the cast. I didn't read the script right away because I was working on [last week's] episode seven at the time. I wanted to avoid reading it at first, because the next day I had to do all my scenes for episode seven. Not to mention I wasn't really excited to see what was going to happen. I just stayed focused on that first. I had a little while to emotionally prepare… at least a little while.” What was your initial reaction to reading it? I was pretty sad. I really had no idea [that Beth was going to die]. I know it's happened like this in the past but for some reason I thought, 'Oh, they would tell me.' I really didn't know, so I was very sad and just dealing with, 'What am I going to do with all my stuff?' All the little stuff that you go through with a big change like that. It was quite a few years of my life. How did you say goodbye to the show? There was a little party. We had a campfire, campout party. It was good to see everyone. It makes you realize that you have to enjoy the time you have with people. At the end I was trying to really soak up everything.” (X). (December 1st, 2014).

In the same interview, there are inconsistencies. Emily first said that TPTB “came to [her]”, yet it sounds like they didn’t, as she didn’t know. In THR interview, she mentioned meeting with Scott. So why not in this one? Why use the ambiguous they?

Emily a posted a picture of a s’more on August 24th, 2014 (X). She was likely in Georgia at the time filming (X). Many fans speculated that she was at her death dinner. After Coda aired, she revealed that she had a fireside, campey death dinner, and she shared with Chad L. Coleman. Christine Woods wasn’t invited, even though villains are given death dinners too. David Morrissey and Scott Wilson shared death dinners, since they died in the same episode. I wouldn’t be surprised if TPTB kept the dinner to a tight circle, since Tyreese’s death and the filming of it are so tied with Beth’s.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: “How did you first get the word from Scott Gimple that Tyreese’s time had come? Chad Coleman: Scott called me up and was like, “Chad, I’m meeting with all the cast,” and I’m like, “You know, Scott, I’m busy, man. I don’t mean harm, bro, but no big deal right? Everything’s cool.” He’s like, “Yeah, no, everything’s cool. I just want to talk to you.” So I went in, and he said, “Tyreese’s time has come.” And I said, “Stop joking, Scott. Come on, man. Stop playing.” And then he teared up, and then I knew it was real, and then I just kept saying, “Wow,” for, like, five minutes. I just kept going, “Wow. Wow.” And then I breathed in and breathed out, and realized that hey, man, I’ve done everything I could do on the show, so let’s go do this one, and make it the best we’ve ever done.” (X). (February 8th, 2015).

Yahoo: When did you find out that this was going to happen? Did you know from the beginning of Season 5? Chad Coleman: No, three episodes prior. But also, we got caught in the Beth situation. Because [Emily Kinney] was supposed to find out at least three episodes before, and it didn't happen. It happened pretty much one episode out. So she's reading the new episode and going "Oh, shit." Everybody was hurting tremendously from that. When [Scott Gimple] called me into the office, I looked at him, and he teared up. I said, "Wow." I said that about fifty times. "Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow." And he's just looking at me, and I'm going, "Wow." Then I just breathed in and breathed out and said, "You know, I've had an amazing time. It's been an amazing run." Did you get a chance to have a going-away dinner with your castmates, as per tradition? Oh, absolutely. It was around a campfire at the house of one of the producers. And it was beautiful. It was warm and heartfelt and everybody poured their hearts out.” (X). (February 9th, 2015).

Canada.com: What was your reaction when you found out that Tyreese was going to die in the Season 5B premiere, especially so soon after Beth? Christian Serratos: We all get a call when either you or somebody else will be going, so you never really know what’s going to happen or what the outcome of that phone call is going to be. I think we all got the news of both of them in the same phone call. We’re used to hearing about just one person leaving, but as soon as the shock settled with one, we were told we’re also going to lose somebody else. It was a double whammy for all of us.” (X) (X). (February 13th, 2015).

Cast members are allowed to fight for their characters, yet Emily didn’t and didn’t even think to (X). And she wouldn’t need to because Beth wasn’t dying in the first place.

Scott Gimple killed Beth and Tyreese essentially at the same time, and yet he was very clinical towards Beth and Emily when discussing the death (X).

So in summary:

There are inconsistencies in how Emily found out, and she found out later than she is supposed to. Typically cast members know a few weeks ahead of time, but Emily found out a week before, and we’re still not sure how.

Emily’s departure bears similarities to Laurie’s, except Emily still promotes the show. It appears that TPTB created a narrative similar to what happened in season 3

Stalking Dead Interview:

After the mid-season 6 premiere (February 14th, 2016), Kate Nash hosted Stalking Dead with Emily as a guest. The informal interview revealed Emily’s discomfort when talking about Beth, and specifically her death. Team Delusional was also brought up, as well as Beth’s lack of a funeral. It was a gold mine of an episode, and I recommend anyone interested in Team Delusional to watch the whole thing. (Full video here: X. It runs from 4:20 to 1:21:15, before repeating.)

Towards the beginning of the interview Emily pointed out that Glenn left out Beth’s name when listing deceased loved ones, like Dale and Hershel (X) (X at 10:00).

At 46:50, Emily finished talking about how she got the role of Beth and summarized her experience on the show as, “It’s been really amazing.” ‘It has’ is present tense, and Emily had been off the show for over a year at this point. (X).

While reading tweets from fans, Kate read a tweet that referenced Team Delusional, prompting a conversation about the group and conspiracies in general. Emily concluded “You never know” multiple times and “Don’t give up”, even though this would have been the perfect time to shut down fan speculation once and for all. (X) (X at 36:06).

She also said “You never know” when a fan asked if Beth was with Negan. (55:15).

When asked about Bethyl, Emily agreed that she felt there were romantic undertones being hinted at in the script. And again, TPTB would not put Daryl on a romantic arc and then just end it, as Daryl loves for life and Bethyl’s canonicity hasn’t even been confirmed to the general audience. (X at 39:20).

When asked if Beth was in the comics or was supposed to be Andrea in the comics, Emily said,“I don’t think that Beth is supposed to be anyone in the comics. She’s just supposed to be one of Hershel’s kids.” She then explained how the show liked to be different and a remix of the comics, so there were still surprises. Emily’s body was tense, she was fidgety, and she did not look at Kate until she moved the topic away from Beth specifically. Emily shouldn’t “think” that Beth is an original character; she should know. Earlier in the interview she mentioned having read some of the comics when she first got the part, and she also owns second The Walking Dead Compendium, which covers issues 49 to 96 (X). By issue 49, the Greene family had been introduced and reduced to just Maggie. Of her sisters, none of them were like Beth. Interestingly, the second compendium has a lot of Andrea storylines, as it covers the Hunters and Alexandria arc, when she loses her adoptive family and becomes Alexandria’s sniper. (X at 55:22).

Emily confirmed that Beth never received a funeral. A follower on Twitter asked Kate if she believed that Beth deserved a family, and Emily agreed. Though she clarified that, “They had to get out there… I understand. I feel like Beth would have been like I get it. I understand.” Kate asked her then what happened to Beth’s body, and Emily froze. She looked like a deer in headlights. She said, “I don’t really know. I never really -”, and she looked around the room, using Periscope as a distraction. (X) (X at 56:24) (X).

“I do feel like it’s going to go for a while, though, I feel like we’re -- the -- this show.” (X) (X at 1:13:03).

I’ve watched a lot of Emily’s interviews. She is introverted, but open and well-spoken. During Stalking Dead, she fluctuated between that and tense and nervous. For “safe” topics she was completely open. Later in the interview she and Kate talked about performing at another WSC cruise, and she lit up. Emily guards herself when talking about Beth, especially her death. It wasn’t a guard for sadness, there was too much tension. It was a guardedness out of anxiety.

So in summary: 

Beth never received a funeral, as something happened between 5x08 and 5x09, forcing the group to run. This confirms what fans have speculated for over a year, as well as supports the Beth-car theory. 

Emily is a terrible liar. It’s adorable.

The Beth situation is suspicious, and it has been consistently suspicious. Which means that whatever is going on behind-the-scenes is still ongoing. Emily hasn’t moved on from the show, and neither has the narrative and the marketing. Why move on when she’s going to come back?

[alethiometry]

[fic] Non Serviam

Title: Non Serviam Fandom: Silicon Valley Characters: Jared Dunn, Bertram Gilfoyle, Dinesh Chugtai Rating: PG Warnings: show-level swearing Word Count: 2,021 words Summary: While Richard goes and meets with Gavin, the guys back at the house pour one out for Anton, have a rare sincere conversation, and contemplate next steps. 4x10 coda/addendum.

Notes: A quick self-indulgent thing that I threw together after watching the season finale one too many times. Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine and mine alone. Enjoy!

Read below, or on AO3.

The server room is cold without Anton—empty, now, and spacious. Far too spacious. And silent, like a tomb. Almost like the offices they’d populated during Barker’s brief tenure as CEO, after the clearance sale. But whatever somber feelings their former office space had stirred in Jared, it’s nothing compared to the cold sterility of an Anton-less garage.

It had taken a couple weeks to get used to falling asleep with all the humming fans and little flickering LEDs, the constant whirrs pulsing through Anton’s circuit boards; the silence now is oppressive by contrast, even with Jian-Yang and Dinesh’s muffled argument coming from the kitchen. Jared wonders how long it’ll take to get used to sleeping in his own bedroom again. Maybe the constant twinge of muscle cramping in his back will go away after a couple nights on a real mattress. That would certainly be a silver lining.

Still, he’ll miss the server room. He supposes he should call it a garage, technically, but a garage is for parking cars, and he doesn’t think anybody’s parked their cars in here since Erlich bought the place.

Speaking of which, Erlich should have checked in with them by now. Jared pulls out his phone to shoot him a quick text (Does he have international texting? Can he even get a signal way up in the Himalayas?) but when he unlocks his phone all he sees is the falsified Hooli-Con app glaring up at him.

Right.

Somehow, even after everything, he can’t bring himself to delete it.

He’s got half a bottle of Martinelli’s in his mini-fridge, leftover from the one night they thought they’d be rich—the one night of unbridled, carefree celebration before Keenan’s betrayal. The cider’s beyond flat by now, almost disgustingly syrupy, but somehow it seems fitting.

Bottoms up,

he thinks glumly, and that’s when the door creaks open.

“Thought you moved back to your place,” Gilfoyle says, as tonelessly as ever. The air mattress bounces a little as he sinks down next to Jared, swigging directly from his bottle of Pappy van Winkle.

“I did,” Jared replies. “I just thought I’d come pay my respects. I can leave, if you’d like.”

Gilfoyle shrugs and clinks his bottle against Jared’s. “To Anton,” he mutters, pouring a bit of his bourbon onto the ground.

“To Anton,” echoes Jared, joining him.

They sit there in silent contemplation, each with his own beverage, staring at the empty room. Other than a couple shelves and crates that hadn’t fit into the U-Haul, some scattered wiring and electrical components that Jared can never seem to remember the names or functions of, and that giant photograph of Gavin Belson (turned, mercifully, to face the wall), there’s not much else to see.

“Can I ask you a question, Gilfoyle?” Jared says quietly.

“Why was I so attached to a stupid fucking machine that I built with my own two hands, that sat in here holding every goddamn byte of data and line of code that we worked our fucking asses off for?”

“Well, when you put it like that—”

“Have you ever built anything from scratch, Jared?” Gilfoyle asks.

“I set up a bird feeder once,” Jared says. “It was from a kit that I got for Christmas at one of my foster homes, but I assembled it myself and filled it with feed and climbed up the big tree in the front yard to hang it from one of the branches. A few days later, a mother bird built her nest on another branch right above it to lay her eggs. I never saw how many she laid; it was too high up to see from the ground and I didn’t want to disturb her—”

“For fuck’s sake,” Gilfoyle mutters, taking another swig.

“—Then one day I came back from school to a crow savaging the eggs,” Jared continues. “The mother bird was so helpless against it, and it just kept tearing and tearing and eating and eating. And then—she just flew away. And the crow finished eating and

it

flew away, and all the twigs and bits of egg just sort of—dripped down all over the bird feeder, like some grisly tree ornament gone awry.”

Gilfoyle snorts. Once upon a time, Jared would have found it mean-spirited. Now, though, he’s come to expect the callousness. Welcome it, even. It’s a testament to how far they’ve come, if nothing else.

The door swings open again. It’s Dinesh this time, nursing a bottle of—

“Are you drinking my fucking beer?”

“Fuck you, Gilfoyle,” Dinesh snaps. He takes a long, slow swig while flipping Gilfoyle the bird.

Jared watches them stare each other down for a moment, gauging whether he needs to intervene yet again, but then Gilfoyle deflates with a muttered “whatever” and a roll of the (still cat-contact-lensed) eyes.

“Figured I’d find you guys here,” Dinesh says, seating himself on Gilfoyle’s other side. “Jian-Yang’s been chain smoking all fucking day since getting back from the airport. And blasting fucking Chinese pop ballads. No wonder Erlich wanted to fucking kill him all the fucking time.”

“Where is Erlich, anyway?” Gilfoyle asks. “You guys ever hear from him?”

Jared and Dinesh both shake their heads. Gilfoyle shrugs again. They lapse into another comfortable silence, sipping their drinks.

“So where will you two go from here?” Jared asks.

Gilfoyle and Dinesh exchange a look.

“I go where the money goes,” Dinesh says. “And right now, as big of a fucking prick as Richard is, the money’s with him and his new internet.”

“I told you when we were working with Gavin Belson,” says Gilfoyle, “I hate to see good tech go to waste. Richard’s a lying sack of shit with piss-poor management skills, but he’s still a brilliant programmer.”

“I mean,” Dinesh adds, “As long as—” He trails off, looking embarrassed, and takes a hasty swig of his beer.

“As long as what?” Jared asks.

“As long as you keep him in check,” Gilfoyle finishes.

“He fired me,” Jared says. “You were both there.”

“And then he hired you back,” Dinesh says.

Gilfoyle grunts in agreement. “We were perfectly happy leaving him out in the cold until you called us. Totally worth it, though, to watch Melcher lose his shit. Again,” he adds with a smirk.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Dinesh says. “About Richard sleeping with Melcher’s fiancee? I mean, like, before Melcher started beating the shit out of him.”

“Oh—yeah. Yeah, he told me what happened. He didn’t want it known, though, for obvious reasons. Not that it matters now, I suppose. Cat’s out of the bag.”

“Right. Point is,” says Gilfoyle. “Richard trusts you, Jared.”

Dinesh nods. “And so do we.”

“Richard went to go meet Gavin at Josefina’s,” Gilfoyle says. “I’d bet half my shares in Pied Piper that Gavin’s offering him another acquisition, and I’d bet the other half that Richard’s gonna turn him down. It’s only a matter of time before the space saver app takes off—I mean really takes off—and we’re on track to make servers, including Hooli’s box business, completely obsolete. And with the new, decentralized internet, well. It’s a brave new fucking world.”

Dinesh smirks. “What Gilfoyle is trying to say, but can’t because he’s an arrogant dick, is that even though we’re on board, we can’t do this without you. Me, and Gilfoyle, and especially Richard. We need you, Jared.”

“That’s very kind of you to say,” Jared says, “but it’s been a long couple of days and I should head back to my place. My squatter didn’t exactly leave the place spotless when he left, so I still have a lot of cleaning to do.”

He leans over to drop his now-empty Martinelli’s bottle into the recycling bin, then pulls himself to his feet. It feels like a longer walk than usual to the garage door opener, despite the fact that he now has a direct and open route where he doesn’t have to worry about bumping into shelves or knocking some rigging out of configuration and thereby, to quote Gilfoyle, “skullfucking the entire company.” The door opens with that familiar creak and long groan, and Jared finds himself already missing the sound.

The sun has set over Palo Alto, the sky a light-polluted haze of dull greys. Richard should be back from his meeting with Gavin soon, and Jared would very much like to have some more space to think things over before getting back to work. Suddenly he feels very tired.

“I, uh, I’ll see you two tomorrow,” he says with a half-hearted wave, digging in his pocket for his car keys.

Dinesh and Gilfoyle exchange another look.

“Hey, Jared,” Dinesh calls. “Jian-Yang’s already moved all his shit into the master bedroom. We’re gonna have to start looking for someone to take his old room soon.”

“Erlich still owns the place, so there’s no rent to pay, but even without Anton eating up all the power, Jian-Yang’s stupid smart fridge is gonna piss all over the electric bill,” Gilfoyle adds. “And we’re not exactly rich yet.”

“That’s true,” says Dinesh, “but it’s a lot of hassle to look for people and schedule showings—”

“—and we’ve got a fuckload of work to do on Pied Piper.”

“And even if we do find someone, they could be, like, a serial killer or something—”

“—which, fascinating though it may be to share a living space with someone so uninhibited in his or her hobbies, poses a very real threat to the productivity of the company. Not to mention all the potential legal bullshit that comes with housing a murderer.”

“Roommates aside, the Palo Alto housing market is more competitive than SAT prep at a private school. I bet a nice, one-bedroom condo in a convenient location would sell in no time.”

“Would make the seller a shitton of money, too.”

“Right, and driving to and from your workplace every day is pretty bad for the environment.”

“And gas prices are going up again.”

“And taking the bus or biking seems pretty inconven—”

Jared holds up a hand. “I get it,” he says with a smile. “Thanks for the invite, guys. I, uh. I’ll let you know soon.”

He surveys the empty garage one more time as Dinesh and Gilfoyle return to the house. The garage door squeaks shut, Pied Piper logo gleaming bright from the light of the streetlamps. Jared starts up his car and pulls out of the driveway. It still stings, to be sure, Richard’s betrayal and near-immediate outreach and apology. Jared doesn’t doubt the sincerity of it for a second, but it still gives him pause. Forgiveness was easy when they all thought they’d be dead in the water in just a matter of minutes. They would see Pied Piper through to the bitter end, and part ways as amicably as they could manage, under those circumstances; that had been the plan, and he had accepted it. Now that they’re very much alive and seemingly thriving, though—now Jared’s not so sure.

But if what Gilfoyle says is true, that Pied Piper will only grow from here to one day overtake Hooli as the new tech giant in the Valley, well. They’ve all of them now seen what Richard is capable of, both the good and the bad. But the three of them—Dinesh, Gilfoyle, and himself—perhaps they together can somehow save Richard from becoming Gavin 2.0.

Jared smiles to himself as he pulls into his designated parking spot behind his condo, remembering that hazy, sleep-deprived night they’d spent on the dick-jerking algorithm that gave rise to middle-out—remembers the cables he’d hauled from the garage as Gilfoyle tore holes through drywall and Dinesh and Erlich kept their viral livestream afloat. He remembers the roller-coaster tumult of his first (and last) Pied Piper board meeting; the revelations of Peter Gregory’s storage unit; the dread, then ecstasy, then alarm as they assembled in Melcher’s office that very morning, very much ready to go down as a team, only to discover their unlikely salvation via smart fridge.

Brave new world, indeed.

[pantheonofdiscord]

Watch Out, the World’s Behind You (12x09 Coda)

When you really listened, the bunker was quiet. Like, really quiet. In most buildings when you’re alone and it’s late at night you still hear things; pipes clanking or the refrigerator running, the wind outside and those weird cracks and thunks that walls just make sometimes. But whether by some Men of Letters hoodoo or just virtue of being an underground lair on the outskirts of Nowhereville, Kansas, the bunker, when you actually stopped to hear it, was dead silent.

 It was late; their dinner in the war room had lasted longer than normal, but was mostly silent. Sam and Dean learned bits of what Mary and Cas had been doing without them, but with nothing of substance to add, any attempts at conversation fizzled out quickly. Still, with their weeks apart, no one seemed to want to separate, not even for a few hours of much needed sleep.

 It was Sam, clearly exhausted, who had given in first and finally loped off to bed. Mary followed shortly after, retiring to the room that had briefly been hers. Dean stood at the same time, hugging his mother tightly before begging off too, leaving Castiel to sit alone in the war room, promising as always to keep watch.

Dean had made his way down the hall to his door, closing it behind him quickly and almost immediately regretting it. He was tired as well (running for miles through a cold, wet forest will do that to you – and isn’t that a memory he wants to think about right now) but Dean knew the moment he tried to sleep, the oppressive silence of the bunker would bear down on him. Kicking off his shoes, he quickly crossed to his bed and put his headphones on. Dean closed his eyes and sighed deeply, tried to even out his breathing. He was of course intensely glad to be home, in his own room, but laying with his back to the headboard and his ankles crossed, Velvet Underground blaring in his ears, he felt the silence like a physical thing, pressing down on him and crushing into his pores. He squeezed his eyes tighter.

 Perhaps it was the heightened awareness that came from nearly two months of solitary confinement, or maybe it was just what always happened when Cas was nearby, but even through the scratchy guitar with the volume turned up to eleven, Dean felt the air shift as his door swung open silently and Castiel poked his head inside. He could pretend to be asleep, but Dean knew the futility of that. Instead, Dean cracked his eyelids to see Castiel frowning, his eyes still somewhere between hurt and angry. Dean pulled the headphones down off his ears as Castiel quietly closed the door behind him.

 “Sam and your mother are both asleep. I. . . wanted to see if there was anything else you needed.” His voice was tight, clipped, and Dean felt a wave of guilt rush over him.

 “Nah, I’m good,” he lied. “Just takin’ in some tunes.” He gestured to his headphones. “All the quiet in there, I guess I didn’t realise how much I missed my music. Or any music.”

 Castiel’s face twitched just briefly, before nodding once. “Well then, goodnight.” He turned to leave, one hand on the doorknob before Dean found his voice.

 “Cas, wait a sec.” Castiel paused, turning back to face Dean and standing as though he were bracing for a fight. Dean took a breath.

 “Look man, I know you’re still kinda pissed at me and Sammy.”

 Cas arched one very dangerous eyebrow.

 “Okay, a lot pissed. And. . . you’ve got a right. I mean, we’ve all got that Winchester martyrdom complex to work on. I get it. But listen, I uh. . .” Dean trailed off, casting about his room for something to look at that wasn’t Cas’ face. He settled on his desk, before taking another long, stabilising breath.

 “It was a long time alone in that cell. A really long time. And I guess it’s. . . it’s still kinda getting to me.” He grimaced ruefully. “Tried to shake it but I. . . I don’t really wanna sit here alone. So, you can be pissed at me, that’s fine. But, can you, can you just be pissed. . . here? Can you just sit in here for a while? We don’t have to talk or anything, if you don’t want. You can meditate, or do some angel yoga, count backwards from infinity, whatever. Just, um, stay for a bit?”

 Dean finally brought his gaze back to Castiel, whose own eyes still bore a shade of hurt, but had softened somewhat. He nodded.

 “Of course.”

 Dean smiled a little, and tried not to let his rather intense relief show on his face. He patted the bed beside him. Castiel seemed to deliberate for a moment, before pulling off his own shoes and gingerly arranging himself onto the bed beside Dean, mimicking his position.

 “Thanks, man,” Dean mumbled.

 Closing his eyes, Dean tilted his head back and focused on the minute sounds Castiel was making. His even breaths, the shifting of his legs has he tried to get comfortable, the rustle of his coat against the blankets. Dean relished them – even the tiniest noise was proof that Dean wasn’t alone. His breathing came easier and easier.

 “Why didn’t you pray to me?”

 Dean’s eyes flew open.

 Castiel wasn’t looking at him, but rather straight ahead at the bedroom door. Dean swallowed and looked up at the ceiling, but didn’t answer.

 “You were in there for weeks, and all that time, I never heard you. Not once. Why didn’t you?”

 Okay, so they were going to have this conversation. Great.

 Dean sighed. “And say what, Cas? I couldn’t have told you anything useful. We didn’t know where we were. Didn’t know how big the place was or how many guys you’d be facing if you tried to pull off some gung-ho solo rescue – and you would have, we both know it.” Dean added, as he saw out of the corner of his eye Cas open his mouth with an angry retort. Dean carried on.

 “So tell me, what could I have said? What could I say that would’ve led anywhere other than you getting your ass locked up right next to me and Sammy – or worse.” Dean finally leaned his head forward, and Castiel turned from the door to face him.

 “How about ‘I’m alive.’ ‘I’m okay.’ Or, ‘I’m really not okay, I’m losing my mind in here.’ ‘I have Honky-Tonk Woman stuck in my head, and if I have to suffer, then so do you.’”

 He paused briefly. “What about ‘I miss you.’ If, um,” Cas’ eyes darted away for a moment, staring somewhere around Dean’s knees. “If you did, that is. If that’s how you felt, I mean. . .” Dean saw him close his eyes, but Castiel pushed on. “I don’t know, just something. Anything.”

 Dean felt a vice grip squeeze around his heart. He ached to reach out a hand, to make some attempt. Instead, Dean swallowed again, and clasped his own hands together in his lap.

 “I don’t know, man. I guess I figured. . . I figured it’d be worse. If I started talking to you, I’d be just talking to myself really. Praying makes for an annoyingly one-sided conversation, buddy, and I figured that’d send me cuckoo’s nest even faster than the military-enforced Me Time.”

 Castiel opened his eyes again, but still didn’t meet Dean’s gaze.

 “Plus I think if I’d started talking, I wouldn’t have stopped, and you’d get a whole lot more of an earful than you bargained for.”

 “What does that mean?”

 “It means. . .” Hell, he’d started this, at this point he may as well keep going. “It means I did miss you, Cas. A lot. And that wouldn’t have been fun to marinate in for two months. So I kept my trap shut. Sue me,” he added, a little bit of annoyance flaring up in him.

 “Until you called for Billie.”

 He should’ve known he wouldn’t get away that easy. Cas was finally looking at him again, the hurt and anger back in his eyes.

 “You were planning on dying. Again. You made that deal with the intention of letting her take you.”

 Dean shifted uncomfortably.

 “Had to be me. Think I would’ve let Sammy do it? Or you, or Mom?”

 Castiel sighed, his eyes resigned.

 “No, you wouldn’t have. And it’s what you do every time.”

 Dean shrugged. “Like I said, we Winchesters have our issues with self-sacrifice.” He eyed Castiel sideways. “That means you too.”

 “Me?”

 “Yeah, are you kidding? You heard what Billie said. Grand, cosmic consequences for breaking a blood pact like that. Just ‘cause she’s dead, you think that’s gonna go away?”

 “So what, you wish I hadn’t killed her?” Castiel’s anger flared back up at once.

 “No, Cas, that’s not what I meant. What you did. . .” He stopped, seeing his mother with a gun to her head in his mind’s eye. He tried without words to convey his gratitude as best he could, and after a moment it looked like Castiel understood.

 “Cas, it’s what any of us would’ve done. But there’s gonna be fallout from this, and you. . . you’d just better not be the one that pays for it. It was my stupid idea.”

 “So, you’ll pay for it then? Around and around we go, Dean.”

 “I know, you’re right.” Dean huffed out a breath, which turned into a real laugh, and he kneaded a hand across his forehead. Even Cas quirked the corner of his mouth. Dean felt the tension in the room start to dissipate.

 “God, we suck,” Dean said as he dropped his hand back down to his lap.

 “Yeah, I think we do. And Dean, whatever the consequences, we’ll deal with them when they come. We always do.”

 “Yeah.”

 “I missed you too.”

 Dean stilled, and met Cas’ eyes again.

 “This place,” Cas said, looking out at the bedroom door again. “It’s very quiet when you’re not here. I didn’t like it.”

 Dean felt warmth bloom in his chest.

 “Yeah, Cas, I know what you mean.”

 Castiel reached out a hand, hesitantly, and briefly squeezed Dean’s wrist where it lay in his lap. Dean’s heart thumped wildly, even as Castiel withdrew his hand.

 “Try to get some rest, Dean. I’ll stay until you fall asleep.”

 “Thanks, Cas.”

 Dean settled back against the pillows, placing his headphones on the bedside table and switching off the lamp. The lights from the hallway spilled through the grate at the bottom of his door, casting swirling ivy patterns across the floor. Again Dean focused on Castiel’s deep, even breathing, before he grimaced.

 “You bastard,” he said.

 “What’s wrong?”

 “I have Honky-Tonk Woman stuck in my head. If I have to suffer, then so do you.”

Dean listened, and he thought he could hear Cas smile.

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