#i managed to not be infected by twilight as a teen

[stranger2time]

I forgot to feed Astarion during battle in a different play through (one I'm playing with my husband) and he went and got mauled by a bear 😭

He was so sad and beat up 😭 I hate myself. I'm never forgetting to feed him again!

On a side note I hate(love) how much this character feels made for me. A Goth Vampire boyfriend who is basically a pet you have to feed and care for 😭🤣 reminds me of all those little pet games from the 90's and 2000. Such nostalgia 😁

[trippygalaxy]

🥔))

The chain take the teen with them and legend, four work on unlock the chains on the teen wrists and neck so he can't move freely.

But hyrule check the teen head carefully and spot the spot were hes been hit on the head to see dry blood on his head and hair, hyrule give a look of worry and ask if his head still hurts.

Teen: oh um it doesn't hurt much now.

Warrior: so what do you remember ?

Teen: .......I believe I shouldn't say.

Warrior: why is that?

Teen: well you friend is still punching the tree after I mentioned my-

Wind: why would people buy other people? It makes no sense!

Teen: some people have no rupees to pay what they're owned and laws changed after the queen death and the princess.

The chain look to the teen to hear that and wild ask what queen and the teen explain that (wild zelda mother) queen death because of poisoning and as well the baby too which wild shivered but sky felt sick to hear that but see time return after punches the tree.

Time: any progress?-

Legend manages to unlock the teen wrist chain as well as four unlock the chain that's around the teen neck and once they remove the chain hyrule quickly hand him a healing potion as well healing his head to check if there's any more damage as the teen freeze up like something wrong but wild notice the look in the teen eyes and knows he remembered something.

Wild: hyrule stop a moment, *hyrule listenand stop what hes doing* did you suddenly remember something?

Teen: um...yes...but-

Warrior: do tell us, it may help on-

Teen: I remember....my father...

Twilight: that's must be a good thing, he must be worried-

Teen: he sold me as a slave...he told me to died as a slave than a hyrulian.

The teen notice now the atmosphere is getting darker and tenser too that he look up only to see dark looks on the chains but the teen still show no reaction and he apologize in cause it is his fault while he open the healing potion to drink it slowly but suddenly a roar is heard close by and everyone look to see that there's infected monsters and warrior quickly to yell out a waring draw his out his sword as the others do the same but time order wind, four to protect the teen.

The teen watch the chain in action and see how they fight too that four,wind knows that the guys are too angry to allow a monster near them so are relaxing watch the carnage.

Teen: is this normal?

Four: the guys being angry or fighting the monsters?

Teen: the first part.

Four: nope but it's good to have monsters to take the rage out on.

Wind: plus pots too.

Teen hum and stay with the two since he doesn't have anywhere else to return to plus doesn't remember it...

I love this so much

[ekebolou]

okay wow, watched the first episode and lots of impressions to get through but I have to say that yes, they managed it, they did it, the bastards really did it, wow Louis you absolute sack.

Also, what a great reminder of how fucking fun the earnest Gothic is, and how much fun a classic vampire is, and man they went BALLS OUT, they really SHINED THEIR TITS for this, the show is not even a little bit ironic and I LIVE. it's that or I'm still slightly infected with my Teen Feelings and that's okay, I can live with that.

(Yes I read Twilight, no it doesn't count as earnestly Gothic or classic vampire stuff, you may have your Teen Feelings about that and that is also fine but I did hate those books, let's not talk about it)

Both of the these men (characters) are PATHETIC and I love it (Actors are great)

ok, look, I didn't want to do this, but I'm going to watch the Interview with the Vampire show because I keep reading and seeing things of Louis that makes it seem like they have somehow made him less of a sad wet cat while keeping his sad wet cat pathos and I am intrigued. It's been a loooooooooooooong time since I had anything to do with Anne Rice's work so this is a real 'oh my god please don't make me re-read the books' thing. I imagine the tone of this post is very aggrieved and I want you to know that it is aggrieved (affectionate(you losers, also affectionate, for I am loser and this takes me back to my golden age of loserdom))

please don't get me involved in this fandom, I don't want to be involved, once was enough thanks, I'm just here for for the frisson of adaptation

Additional thoughts of no import and probably disproportionate hostility below the cut

So much of what I understand to be Louis' problem (of many, he has many problems) is that his attitude is so quintessentially Romantic (fuckin' Young Wether motherfucker), it is what makes him work for me as a narrator, so I'm really eager to see what they've done with that with all the changed context.

Lestat is a bitch. And he's the kind of bitch that can string you a long such you think he's really smart until some straight himbo dumbassery happens and you realize you've been done over by needy asshole Kronk and not Hannibal Lecter and you should be ashamed Louis. Cats are supposed to be smart, even sad wet ones. He's just 30-50 feral hogs in French ruffles, all of you should be shot. Claudia knows it. Claudia is Hannibal. only, like... moderately more sane. or not.

And I've seen they've done Armand, which is interesting, too. The fact that Lestat dunks on Armand, and that Armand hitches his wagon to Louis, makes him possibly the dumbest motherfucker in this entire fictional universe but honestly dude had it hard and I wasn't ready for his book and like...... just make better choices man. You're like that friend who keeps joining cults and eventually tries meth 'just once' because someone you don't even like had it at a party and recommended it. It makes sense but jesus. If only you were mortal you could've died on a skidoo or been taken out in a tragic four-wheeler accident at a tragically-young-but-at-least-the-meth-didn't-get-him-first age, as god intended.

[trinoxtrinox]

What makes a Haunted House scary?

Ectoberhaunt 2022, Side Order. Prompt: Haunted House

Summary: Going through a haunted house can be hard for some people, however to the inhabitants of Amity Park they’re a walk in the park, they live with constant ghosts attacks after all; and as such now it’s time for some locals to create their own haunted house and see if they can manage to scare any Amityans.

Content Warning: There's mild talk about death, it's pretty small, but it's there.

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The spooky time of the year, and favorite event in Amity Park, Halloween, was coming near, and with that many events would come as well. There was the classic trick or treat, as well as the horror movies, however there’s also the late night parties, the corn mazes, the pumpkin to decorate, the houses to decorate, the Fenton’s escapade city wide event that everyone but the Fenton parents knew about, and haunted houses.

Now this is Amity Park, a city that has a ghost attack at least once a day, and as such things like horror movies and haunted houses have lost a lot of their luster. One can only be so scared with classic horror tropes after dealing with ghosts attacking you every day for over 3 years now, and thus a lot of the populace have become desentized of anything horror related that comes from outside of Amity Park, and if it’s about ghosts? Then they all laugh at it collectively, no doubts about that.

This is where some citizens of the city can come in for a win though, for who else to know what would scare for real a human from Amity Park than another human from Amity Park? Nobody, that's who, and as such now it’s time for some citizens of Amity Park to plan the best haunted house ever and scare the Amitians once and for all.

“Okay, we already know that anything related to ghosts is gonna be a no for our haunted house,” Kwan said to the group of people he was talking with, “What else are we left with?”

“Killers is the first thing that comes to mind-” Star replied “-however we already know what happens after death thanks to the ghosts, so nothing of that sort would be scary after the first jumpscare.”

“There are also monsters, stuff like werewolves and vampires-” Nathan continued, the teen with an orange afro like and member of the music band, “-however furries ruined the former and Twilight the latter.”

“Maybe we’re approaching this wrongly,” Tiffany, a black girl with asian ancestry said, “let’s think it this way, why are ghosts scary in the first place, and why are we not scared of them anymore?”

“Isn’t that death isn’t truly the end and that people can get stuck there forever?”

“That the dead can haunt you for the rest of your life and you have no way to act against them?”

“That they’re a reminder of all the failures life has to offer?”

“Yeah, and since we have a way to fight ghosts, we have a way to fight all of that. So now we have to ask, what’s something we can’t fight other than death? Which by the way, we now know is fake”

“I’d say taxes, but considering that half the city doesn’t pay them and nothing has happened to us yet, I’d say they’re fake as well” Nathan offered to everyone, surprising the rest of the group when saying so.

“Wait, taxes are fake?” Kwan’s eyes were shining with the reveal

“Yeah, not sure if you’ve heard, but I catch wind of my parents talking with the neighbors all the time about how thankful they are to be able to commit tax fraud and not have any consequences come their way.”

“Awesome! I won’t have to calculate any of that!” Kwan’s fistbump was made with so much enthusiasm that everyone else got infected and fistbumped the air with him.

“Anyways, coming back to the topic at hand,” Star said, lowering her hand and addressing the group as a whole, “one thing that I’m sure would scare everyone is the unknown and uncertainty.”

“Good idea, but how would we do that?” Tiffany asked while furrowing her eyebrows, “It’s not like we can just do something and then have everyone NOT blame it on ghosts.”

“When everything is silent one often gets nervous, maybe we could do some kind of sensory deprivation room?” Nathan continued, “That way everything is so silent that anything can make them jump, whether that’s themselves or one of us.”

“We could pile it up with some sensory overstimulation beforehand as well, like, with tons of noises and lights and stuff.” Kwan added to the pool of ideas.

“That’s not going to be easy, Nate, how do you guys normally muffle the sounds when you do band practice in school?” Tiffany asked the boy sitting besides her.

“Usually we cover all the walls and doors with layers and layers of blankets. We use the boxes eggs come in as well when we have enough of them.”

“The thing is how do we completely cover a room big enough to work as a sort of maze with how little stuff we can get inside.” It was Star who talked this time. “We don't have all the money in the world to make this work after all.

“Maybe we can work with that room being completely empty, and dark as well,” Kwan added once again, “if we’re doing sensory deprivation then making that would also diminish the amount of stuff people can use to guide themselves as well.”

“And if we do sensory overstimulation beforehand as well then we’ll make the sudden change in ambience so abrupt it’ll take them a while to discover it and they’ll get a jolt of realization once they notice they’re lost.” Star talked once again, a devious smile decorating her face as she rubbed her hands together in what could only be described as a menacingly way.

“Alright, so now we have the last room and the first half of the haunted house idea down. How do we actually make a sensory overstimulation hallway work?”

“Well, noises and smells are a must in order to do this well. Maybe we can cook some food and have a lot of stuff to cling to each other while having lights of many colors on?”

“I could, uh, play my Tuba for a good while. You know, for certain parts of the house.”

“Oh yes you’ll absolutely do that please”

“Well, looks like we have our haunted house planned out then. Who wants to help me buy the stuff while the rest begin planning the routes?” Tiffany mentioned as she stood up, finally ending the little meeting they all had just now.

“I’ll go with you, that way we should be able to take everything with us in one trip.” Kwan offered himself to carry all the bags as he stood up as well.

“Guess Nathan and I will plan the route then, everyone agrees with that?”

“Sure thing” “Yeah” “I see no problem” the other three replied.

“Great! Now go before all the stuff gets sold and we’re left with the remains. Nathan, what do you think of doing the first half as serpentine as possible?”

“Oh, I like your idea Star, I like it very much.”

[queenof-literature]

A Sick Wild Child - Chapter 3

Wild could feel himself drifting in and out of consciousness. It felt like a bear was sitting on his chest, all he could do was focus on wheezing in enough oxygen to keep himself going. He could feel himself being lifted, and that was bad enough, but then someone was forcing his arms above his head. Hylia it hurt, it hurt so bad. He tried to curl in on himself but whatever was holding him wouldn’t let him. He felt someone talking against his ear but he couldn’t even begin to comprehend what they were saying. Everything was flaming hot and ice cold at the same time and he just wanted it to be over. Finally, he could feel himself being laid down again and shivered when something cold was pushed onto his chest. When he felt his body being lifted again, he finally passed out from the exertion his body was under.

Trying to find something for Wild’s mind to clutch onto was like trying to grab a fish in a stream. Link, wait no… that wasn’t right… his name was Wild. Why did the name Link seem so familiar? All he could feel was cold seeping into his body like his veins were made of ice. He could hear someone telling him to open his eyes. Wild recognized the voice from somewhere, he just didn’t know where. It made him feel safe though, so Wild tried to listen to it. With incredible effort, he managed to pry his eyes open. Everything was blurry, but he could see an outline with blond hair. Distantly his mind acknowledged that he could finally breathe better and the presence made him feel warmer. Wait he had blond hair didn’t he?

“Dad?” Wild tried to say, but his tongue felt like metal and wouldn’t work right much to Wild’s frustration. It wasn’t a memory, but a feeling, of a man with blond hair. A large hand over his the first time he held a sword. But it was gone as soon as it had come. “I’m cold.” was all Wild could say before he was oblivious to the world around him again.     ~ Twilight watched as Time gently laid Wild on his bedroll. Sometime between the journey from Wild’s tree he was perched in, he started shivering as if he was in the Hebra Mountains. His muscles were quivering and straining, his entire face was red from heat, his chest was heaving just to get air in and out, the list went on. His breathing was especially worrying, it sounded like he was drowning. It seemed he wasn’t the only one who noticed.

“I think I have something for his breathing, but I need you to get his tunic off completely and get him in a shirt that’s easily replaced, I need to see what I'm doing.” Legend declared as he went to search through his bag. Sky volunteered an extra shirt he had that had some patches and stains from the grass of different Hyrules.

“Okay Cub, up and at em’,” Twilight whispered as he hefted Wild up and against his chest. Wild let out a gasp as he was lifted into Twilight’s arms, dead weight against him.

“Sky, can you help me with his tunic, please?” Twilight asked the other teen. Sky simply nodded and sat next to Twilight on Wild’s bedroll. Sky slowly tried to wrestle Wild out of his tunic, whispering quiet apologies as Wild whimpered in pain. As Twilight lifted Wild’s arms over his head to make room for Sky to fully remove his tunic, Wild let out a strangled scream that made the entire camp flinch.

“I’m so sorry Wild.” Sky said hurriedly as he tried to get the tunic off as fast as possible. Wild trying to curl in around his bruises to ease the pain wasn’t helping. Finally, the tunic was off and placed carefully to the side, and Twilight managed to lay Wild back onto his bedroll. A few minutes passed with the group not knowing what to do as Wild continued his battle for breath, Twilight gently wiping tears away and Sky brushing hair aside.

“I found it!” Legend announced to the camp as he ran over to the small group huddled around their sick member. He screwed off the top to reveal an odd green substance that smelled strongly of medicinal herbs. Twilight scrunched up his nose at the smell as Legend spread some on his fingers. Gently, Legend spread some on Wild’s chest, who shivered under the sudden cold. Legend continued to spread the medicine over Wild’s chest up to just under his collarbones.

“That should start to kick in soon.” Legend stated as he closed the lid to his medicine and went to clean his hand. “He’s freezing though, you better get him in that shirt.” Twilight and Sky simply nodded and began the process of helping Wild into Sky’s old and worn shirt, hoping the salve would help with the pain this time.

It felt like hours for Twilight before Wild’s breathing finally seemed to become easier. Wild was still shivering, even after Twilight tucked him into his bedroll and laid his pelt over the cub. Wind, Sky, and just about every other boy in camp had offered their blankets to cover their friend, but Time refused. It was dangerous for Wild to have too much heat forced upon his body with his fever coming and going.

“How did this happen?” Four questioned quietly. Everyone stared at him, silently asking him to elaborate. “He’s sick because of the infection, right? But how did that happen. Yeah, Wild has been on his own for so long he still is working on telling us when he needs help, but he’s not stupid. He knows how to take care of an injury. He’s a chaotic little gremlin but he’s still smarter in the wild than almost all of us combined, so how did it get infected in the first place?” Four was staring into the cooking fire Warriors managed to make, trying to find the answer. He knew it was silly, but he blamed himself slightly for not noticing the signs of Wild’s infection.

“Maybe he was already sick,” Hyrule stated as he put a comforting hand on Four’s shoulder. “He’s amazing at hiding when he’s feeling unwell and continuing on because he needed to. The best we can do is support him and help him know he’s not alone, and he doesn’t have to hold the world on his shoulders alone either. He has eight others to fall on, just like we fall on him sometimes.” Hyrule was very wise for his age, causing Four to smile slightly and nod, feeling a bit better about the whole situation. Hyrule simply had that effect on people.

“Mfm.” The whole camp snapped their attention to Wild’s bedroll. Twilight looked down to see Wild’s eyes flickering under closed lids. Time walked over and put a hand on WIld’s forehead.

“Hey, bud. Mind opening your eyes for me.” Time said in a steady but soft voice. Wild groaned again. Slowly blue eyes flickered open. But instead of the intelligence and mischief they usually held, there was a confused and blank look.

“Da’? ‘M cold.” Wild managed to slur out before his body shuddered and blank eyes closed again. The entire camp was frozen, eyes on Time. Had Wild really called Time “Dad”? Did Wild have a memory of him and Time simply looked like the man 100 years ago that raised the hero? Everyone saw Time as the father figure that was trying to control eight dumbass kids, but no one admitted that besides a few jokes and mocking calls when Time stopped them from doing something fun (read dangerous).

No one knew how Time was going to react, even Time himself. Similar questions were racing through his head. But in the end, he simply gave a small smirk and ran his hand through Wild’s ratted hair. Everyone let out a sigh of relief, except Wind, who burst out laughing.

“Hey Dad, will you tuck me in tonight?” Wind was doubled over cackling where he sat next to Warriors, who fondly rolled his eyes and ruffled the younger’s hair. The rest of the group let out chuckles. Hyrule watched on with a small smile. Most of them either had father figures back home or never had one at all, and Time would never be their real father. But Hyrule liked to imagine that Time is what a father would be like if he had one growing up, strong and stern, but humourous and kind as well. And Hyrule knew that with all of them around, Wild would be okay.

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

I’m never catching up!

Rambles, not reviews.

I saw:

To Die For- A woman obsessed with celebrity and the shallow signifiers of fame, has a goal: to become a star in the world of journalism  adjacent “news”. A few years later she would have gone the reality show route instead of tabloid tv,  but  devotion to the concept of fame and life as public performance would be the same. She gets herself hired to the weather on a local cable channel and works on side project of interviews with three less than reflective teens. She believes fame awaits, but her husband grows tired of indulging her. Her reaction is to manipulate the trio of kids into killing her poor hubby. How can she possibly loose when the media loves a true crime story with a pretty woman at the heart of it? 

The obsession not merely with fame but the desperation for an observed life is still incredibly relevant 20 years or whatever later. The mind set may have taken root in the 20th century (probably actually  at the dawn of it rather than twilight) but I doubt it will disappear. The need to be noticed and loved is hard wired into humanity, and when these things are gained on such a wide and superficial level it still feels like it fill that need. The fact it is often ephemeral hardly matters to the emotions.

 The feeling that to be real one has create a persona, attract watchers, and turn life into performance art seems to infect a great many people, just more frequently now via the more egalitarian medium of the internet than the more strictly gate keepered television. That many have very little to say, that they focus more on attention more than content, does not discourage them.....

Says the person writing this babbling on a blog! LOL

What’s funny is that monsterous as her selfish actions are and the way she manages to make even the murders into victims through her heartlessness manipulating of the vulnerable, there is just a twinge of something sad about her. Sad in the sense that she is subject to a mindset, a world view she has blind faith in. She encounters a man with power that exploits her for sexual favors in exchange for nothing, and it’s painful to see her naivety and trust in the system. She’s almost like some childhood brainwash victim becoming a victimizer....except the abuse was pop culture and her crime was murder so it hardly balances out! LOL 

Anyway, the movie is a funny and rather tragic black comedy told partly in mockmentary style. I’d seen it soon after it was released, but I think I enjoyed it even more now. 

[brentrogers]

There Is No Playbook for a Pandemic

Twilight Zone time, not sure how long the unofficial quarantine has been going on in my neck of the woods, nor do I know how long it will last. As of a day or so ago, Tom Wolf, governor of my home state of Pennsylvania, declared that everyone is expected to remain at home, unless they need to go to the supermarket, pharmacy, medical appointment or essential workplace. As a psychotherapist, I am in that category. Our group practice office which provides counseling and medication management will remain active with the condition that we use telehealth to serve our clients.

A short learning curve, far easier than I anticipated. The clients seem comfortable with it and it is for the time being, the next best thing to sitting face to face in my office. Initially, I wondered if I would be able to master the intricacies of the particular platform we are using. That was a piece of cake, compared to the unexpected twists and turns of the rest of my life.

Since we are quarantined, I can’t visit my son, daughter-in-law and two-month-old grandson who I had seen two-three times a week until then. Photos, videos and phone calls are welcome but, obviously, not the same as live and in-person cuddling and caregiving. Tears are part of my daily routine these days. One of the things I am grateful for is that he doesn’t have a clue what is going on around him. All he knows is that he is loved, and his needs are met. The pictures make it clear that he is a happy little dude.

What prevents me from immersing in self pity is that I have friends with elderly parents who they can’t visit and a therapist friend who has lost several family members to the virus. I also recently read an article written either by an ER doc or nurse who, while she still lives with her family, can’t come within six feet of them lest she potentially contaminate them. It must be terribly painful to feel like a human biohazard. She lamented that she had no idea how long this would continue.

The time when we need face to face human supportive contact and nurturing touch, we are being restricted from it. When we look back at this time in history, we will come to recognize that it robbed us of the opportunity to touch, but not the opportunity to love.

The truth is, there is no playbook for a pandemic. As therapists, we are taught to be spontaneously available for whatever our clients bring to their sessions. Our toolkits ought to be, of necessity, diverse. Remember the adage, when the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail? In light of the viral outbreak, we don’t have that luxury, even if we specialize in a particular modality. Like nearly everyone I know, they are expressing heightened anxiety. Our sessions are a combination of providing information, clarifying instructions, panic reduction, enhancing communication skills with family members with whom they might be sequestered, holding space for their fluctuating emotions. 

A few days ago, I was listening to an NPR broadcast of Fresh Air with Terry Gross. She was interviewing from her dining room table/makeshift recording studio, author, horror novelist, researcher and speaker Max Brooks. He is also the son of actress Anne Bancroft and comedian Mel Brooks. He and his father did a humorous but pointed PSA reminding people of how important it is to stay home when possible and keep distance from others, to avoid infecting them, specifically those who are particularly vulnerable. The tag line is, “Don’t be a spreader.”

Brooks’ focus was disaster preparation and the title of the podcast is All of This Panic Could Have Been Prevented. One of the things he spoke about was that we have the tools to manufacture the equipment we need if companies work together in cooperation to provide supplies. An example is distilleries who are now joining the cause and creating hand sanitizer. Human ingenuity at work.

This experience is a one moment at a time creation for everyone. There isn’t a single consciously aware person who has not had to make major adjustments in schedule, routine, activities and interactions. 

Adult children are home from college for which in-person classes were pre-empted and they are required to do them on-line.

Teens who are sequestered without being able to socialize with friends other than via electronic means.

Young children whose pent-up energy needs an outlet.

Couples who are in conflict who are now required to share the same space.

People with pre-existing depression and anxiety whose typical source of support may not be available in person.

Those who are older whose family cannot visit for the time being.

Domestic abuse survivors who are now of necessity, needing to stay in the same dwelling as the abuser.

Some who are in the high-risk category due to age or physical condition who must be particularly careful being in public places.

People who have either lost their jobs or are business owners who have needed to close the doors temporarily.

Those who miss their 12-step meetings to sustain their recovery.

In conversation with those who are with their families, I asked if they gathered everyone together to discuss how to best weather this storm of epic proportions. Most said no, other than to remind the children about hygiene and that they still needed to do schoolwork and couldn’t hang out with their friends. Rarely was there conversation about fears, about cooperation under unusual circumstances, about sharing household responsibilities, about ways to communicate their feelings, about anger management and about the importance of social responsibility. 

For those who live alone, it is important to consider how you will maintain a routine and health regimen. It is tempting to want to lounge around in pjs, binging on Netflix since there is no accountability party to keep you productive. Balance work and relaxation. Be sure to reach out to family and friends on a daily basis. Do your best not to isolate. Exercise as best you can. My living room is now my gym with a yoga mat and blocks, hand weights and balancing ball as part of the temporary décor.

If I could write a playbook for these times, it would include 

Resources for children to help them comprehend what is happening

Suicide prevention hotline to assist with coping with depression

12 step meetings online for those in recovery

Domestic violence hotline for those in dangerous situations

Remember to focus on any positives you observe such as people being kind to one another and assisting each other in getting through this crisis that will eventually ease.

Be well.

There Is No Playbook for a Pandemic syndicated from

[virginieboesus]

7 Of The Worst Movies Based On Games

The video game and movie industries have had a very rocky relationship ever since they first got together. That much is pretty well documented already. I mean, there have been some good, or at least average, movies that were based upon games… The first Resident Evil movie comes to mind, as does the first Silent Hill movie. However, there have also been some outright terrible attempts to create video game related movies.

From films that utterly miss the point of the games to ones that would have been better off without the video game connection, we’ve had our fair share and more of bad tie-ins. Everyone knows that a video game tie-in to a movie is usually going to be terrible, but the same is true the other way around. That’s why, today, we’re going to look at 7 of the worst movies based upon video games that have ever been created!

7. Doom

The Doom game franchise was once the king of first-person shooters… Whilst the gaming side of the franchise may have reinstated this title in recent times with the release of DOOM (aka Doom 4) on the PlayStation 4, Xbox One and PC, it will never escape the legacy of the live action movie. Rather than dealing with the religious aspect of Doom, whereby the creatures are literally coming from Hell, the movie decided to go down a much more generic route. With scientists on Mars bringing to light an artificially created chromosome that subsequently infects the entire colony, people who lived and worked there are turned into a variety of different monsters.

However, to make this change in the base plot even more detached from the actual games, this infection will only turn you into a monster if you were already inherently evil. I mean, I would like to say that this feels like it could have been written by a child, but then, they would probably have come up with something better. Add to this the fact that the characters are wholly unrelatable and just unlikeable, and you have a recipe for disaster. The movie even features Karl Urban (a tremendous actor) and The Rock, but even that super-team couldn’t make this movie work.

Also, why does a movie based on a first-person shooter end with a battle of fists?

6. Double Dragon

Now, you’d think that taking a beat-em-up gaming and turning it into an action movie would be one of the easiest things you could possibly do, right? I mean, the entire formula is there for you already! Sure, the storyline of Double Dragon isn’t exactly Oscar-worthy, but then, you wouldn’t expect a particularly deep story from an action movie anyway. So you would need to really do a bad job to screw up a movie based on Double Dragon, right?

Well, that’s exactly what the director and crew of the Double Dragon movie decided to do! Taking place in the year 2007 after a huge earthquake totalled most of Los Angeles, leaving it a flooded shell of a city, the movie features some of the most un-gang-like gangs ever! On top of that, they somehow managed to make Robert Patrick (of Terminator 2 and X-Files fame, amongst other great roles) look even more pointless as an antagonist that Samuel L Jackson’s character in Kingsman – the big difference being that Kingsman did it on purpose and it worked well because of that.

Everything about this movie screams a misunderstanding of the game itself, or a blatant lack of care about it.

5. Resident Evil: Extinction (And All Subsequent Sequels)

Now, I’m in the minority of gaming fans who actually enjoy Resident Evil: Apocalypse, the second movie in the live action series. Yes, Paul W S Anderson had made his wife (Milla Jovovich) the main character, pushing Jill Valentine to the background, despite the movie being (very loosely) based upon Resident Evil: Nemesis… But it was still an entertaining action movie (but not a horror movie in the slightest). For me, the entire movie series went downhill when we got to Resident Evil: Extinction (and onwards).

RE: Extinction featured Alice (Jovovich’s character) using telekinesis to move flames around the air and burn all of the zombie crows. It took one of the video game series’ most beloved characters, Claire Redfield, and stripped her of all likeable qualities (likely so that attention would be focused on Alice), and turned an already messed up Carlos into a shadow of his former self. From there, things just got worse, with the characters that we loved from the games being treated like afterthoughts! The first movie was an interesting take on the Resident Evil idea, but the reason it worked was that Alice wasn’t an over-powered Goddess and it didn’t feature any of the characters from the games to tarnish. The second was an average yet entertaining affair, whilst everything after that would do best being put in the nappy-bin where they belong.

4. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

The first Mortal Kombat movie was an entertaining romp featuring some reasonable fight scenes and a plot that actually managed to fit in with the game, mostly. But by the time the sequel came around, we were all in for a laughable excuse for a movie! To begin with, they recast a number of returning characters, killed off one of them right at the beginning, and had some of the worst CGI I have ever seen in a film. Even as a young lad, I knew how absolutely terrible the movie was!

The dialogue is also atrocious, making the original Resident Evil (with it’s “Jill sandwich line included) looking like Oscar-worthy gold! In fact, the only reason I would ever put this movie on again is to listen to the epic theme song. But then, I could just listen to it on Spotify and save myself the torture that is Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.

3. BloodRayne

Looking back on the genre as a whole, Vampire movies haven’t had a very good time this century. From being absolutely tarnished by the likes of Twilight, to the fact that the Underworld series started off so well and then just went downhill with every movie after the third, the genre has had a lot of trouble. One movie that did nothing but make this even worse was BloodRayne. Now, the games that this movie was based on are actually really rather fun to play. Sadly, Uwe Boll got hold of the movie rights, and that spelt doom for the film straight away.

With everything from the wrong time period for the setting, action sequences that look like they would be more fitting on an episode of East Enders, and acting from top quality actors that feels like the “phone in” equivalent, it really is an awful movie. How did it go so wrong? Oh yeah… Uwe Boll.

2. Super Mario Bros

Well, here we are; the video game movie that started the crossover industry, and also the first one to let us all down. It is rather common knowledge that this movie is utterly terrible, but what you might not know is that the directors actually wanted to make a cyberpunk movie, which is why everything in Super Mario Bros looks so dystopian and futuristic. As fans of the games, this caused a lot of confusion and outright annoyance for viewers, due to the complete change in the way that the Mushroom Kingdom looked. On top of that, the goombas look horrific, bearing no resemblance to their video game counterparts.

Another interesting fact about the movie comes from the casting; Mario and Luigi are supposed to be brothers, right? So why are they from two different ethnicities? Everything about Super Mario Bros is confused, contrived and just downright badly made. This movie set the precedent for video games movies to come, and for that alone, it would feature high up on this list. However, add to that the fact that it is just a generally terrible movie, and it more than earns the number two spot!

1. House of the Dead

Zombie movies are everywhere these days. In fact, zombies, in general, have taken over the big screen, small screen and gaming industry like a digital apocalypse. Sadly, that means that you’ll naturally get some films that were best left to rot. It should come as no surprise that this particular “gem” of a movie was directed by Uwe Boll (again). It starts off as a generic teen horror movie with a bunch of people going to a rave on an island that then because infested with zombies. From there, we get one of the most confusingly directed movies ever. Scenes will switch between the teenagers screaming and running for their lives, to shots of them pulling of Trinity-esque slow motion kicks from The Matrix!

This, plus the complete lack of a connection to the game, makes you wonder how Uwe Boll ever manages to get the rights to anything anymore!

And That’s All Folks

Those are 7 of the worst movies ever made based on video games. There are, of course, a reverant tonne of others that could have made this list, so I may make a sequel to this post in the future.

What video game movie do you hate the most? Let me know in the comments below!

from More Design Curation https://www.16bitdad.com/7-of-the-worst-movies-based-on-games/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=7-of-the-worst-movies-based-on-games source https://smartstartblogging.tumblr.com/post/174335533990

[smartstartblogging]

7 Of The Worst Movies Based On Games

The video game and movie industries have had a very rocky relationship ever since they first got together. That much is pretty well documented already. I mean, there have been some good, or at least average, movies that were based upon games… The first Resident Evil movie comes to mind, as does the first Silent Hill movie. However, there have also been some outright terrible attempts to create video game related movies.

From films that utterly miss the point of the games to ones that would have been better off without the video game connection, we’ve had our fair share and more of bad tie-ins. Everyone knows that a video game tie-in to a movie is usually going to be terrible, but the same is true the other way around. That’s why, today, we’re going to look at 7 of the worst movies based upon video games that have ever been created!

7. Doom

The Doom game franchise was once the king of first-person shooters… Whilst the gaming side of the franchise may have reinstated this title in recent times with the release of DOOM (aka Doom 4) on the PlayStation 4, Xbox One and PC, it will never escape the legacy of the live action movie. Rather than dealing with the religious aspect of Doom, whereby the creatures are literally coming from Hell, the movie decided to go down a much more generic route. With scientists on Mars bringing to light an artificially created chromosome that subsequently infects the entire colony, people who lived and worked there are turned into a variety of different monsters.

However, to make this change in the base plot even more detached from the actual games, this infection will only turn you into a monster if you were already inherently evil. I mean, I would like to say that this feels like it could have been written by a child, but then, they would probably have come up with something better. Add to this the fact that the characters are wholly unrelatable and just unlikeable, and you have a recipe for disaster. The movie even features Karl Urban (a tremendous actor) and The Rock, but even that super-team couldn’t make this movie work.

Also, why does a movie based on a first-person shooter end with a battle of fists?

6. Double Dragon

Now, you’d think that taking a beat-em-up gaming and turning it into an action movie would be one of the easiest things you could possibly do, right? I mean, the entire formula is there for you already! Sure, the storyline of Double Dragon isn’t exactly Oscar-worthy, but then, you wouldn’t expect a particularly deep story from an action movie anyway. So you would need to really do a bad job to screw up a movie based on Double Dragon, right?

Well, that’s exactly what the director and crew of the Double Dragon movie decided to do! Taking place in the year 2007 after a huge earthquake totalled most of Los Angeles, leaving it a flooded shell of a city, the movie features some of the most un-gang-like gangs ever! On top of that, they somehow managed to make Robert Patrick (of Terminator 2 and X-Files fame, amongst other great roles) look even more pointless as an antagonist that Samuel L Jackson’s character in Kingsman – the big difference being that Kingsman did it on purpose and it worked well because of that.

Everything about this movie screams a misunderstanding of the game itself, or a blatant lack of care about it.

5. Resident Evil: Extinction (And All Subsequent Sequels)

Now, I’m in the minority of gaming fans who actually enjoy Resident Evil: Apocalypse, the second movie in the live action series. Yes, Paul W S Anderson had made his wife (Milla Jovovich) the main character, pushing Jill Valentine to the background, despite the movie being (very loosely) based upon Resident Evil: Nemesis… But it was still an entertaining action movie (but not a horror movie in the slightest). For me, the entire movie series went downhill when we got to Resident Evil: Extinction (and onwards).

RE: Extinction featured Alice (Jovovich’s character) using telekinesis to move flames around the air and burn all of the zombie crows. It took one of the video game series’ most beloved characters, Claire Redfield, and stripped her of all likeable qualities (likely so that attention would be focused on Alice), and turned an already messed up Carlos into a shadow of his former self. From there, things just got worse, with the characters that we loved from the games being treated like afterthoughts! The first movie was an interesting take on the Resident Evil idea, but the reason it worked was that Alice wasn’t an over-powered Goddess and it didn’t feature any of the characters from the games to tarnish. The second was an average yet entertaining affair, whilst everything after that would do best being put in the nappy-bin where they belong.

4. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

The first Mortal Kombat movie was an entertaining romp featuring some reasonable fight scenes and a plot that actually managed to fit in with the game, mostly. But by the time the sequel came around, we were all in for a laughable excuse for a movie! To begin with, they recast a number of returning characters, killed off one of them right at the beginning, and had some of the worst CGI I have ever seen in a film. Even as a young lad, I knew how absolutely terrible the movie was!

The dialogue is also atrocious, making the original Resident Evil (with it’s “Jill sandwich line included) looking like Oscar-worthy gold! In fact, the only reason I would ever put this movie on again is to listen to the epic theme song. But then, I could just listen to it on Spotify and save myself the torture that is Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.

3. BloodRayne

Looking back on the genre as a whole, Vampire movies haven’t had a very good time this century. From being absolutely tarnished by the likes of Twilight, to the fact that the Underworld series started off so well and then just went downhill with every movie after the third, the genre has had a lot of trouble. One movie that did nothing but make this even worse was BloodRayne. Now, the games that this movie was based on are actually really rather fun to play. Sadly, Uwe Boll got hold of the movie rights, and that spelt doom for the film straight away.

With everything from the wrong time period for the setting, action sequences that look like they would be more fitting on an episode of East Enders, and acting from top quality actors that feels like the “phone in” equivalent, it really is an awful movie. How did it go so wrong? Oh yeah… Uwe Boll.

2. Super Mario Bros

Well, here we are; the video game movie that started the crossover industry, and also the first one to let us all down. It is rather common knowledge that this movie is utterly terrible, but what you might not know is that the directors actually wanted to make a cyberpunk movie, which is why everything in Super Mario Bros looks so dystopian and futuristic. As fans of the games, this caused a lot of confusion and outright annoyance for viewers, due to the complete change in the way that the Mushroom Kingdom looked. On top of that, the goombas look horrific, bearing no resemblance to their video game counterparts.

Another interesting fact about the movie comes from the casting; Mario and Luigi are supposed to be brothers, right? So why are they from two different ethnicities? Everything about Super Mario Bros is confused, contrived and just downright badly made. This movie set the precedent for video games movies to come, and for that alone, it would feature high up on this list. However, add to that the fact that it is just a generally terrible movie, and it more than earns the number two spot!

1. House of the Dead

Zombie movies are everywhere these days. In fact, zombies, in general, have taken over the big screen, small screen and gaming industry like a digital apocalypse. Sadly, that means that you’ll naturally get some films that were best left to rot. It should come as no surprise that this particular “gem” of a movie was directed by Uwe Boll (again). It starts off as a generic teen horror movie with a bunch of people going to a rave on an island that then because infested with zombies. From there, we get one of the most confusingly directed movies ever. Scenes will switch between the teenagers screaming and running for their lives, to shots of them pulling of Trinity-esque slow motion kicks from The Matrix!

This, plus the complete lack of a connection to the game, makes you wonder how Uwe Boll ever manages to get the rights to anything anymore!

And That’s All Folks

Those are 7 of the worst movies ever made based on video games. There are, of course, a reverant tonne of others that could have made this list, so I may make a sequel to this post in the future.

What video game movie do you hate the most? Let me know in the comments below!

from More Design Curation https://www.16bitdad.com/7-of-the-worst-movies-based-on-games/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=7-of-the-worst-movies-based-on-games