#i make moodboards when i have writer's block

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff ch.5 these feelings are hard to find

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem reader, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, mentions of weed, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot

ᰔ chapter. 5/x (probably 12)

ᰔ words. 10.4k

a/n. aaaa this chapter took me a while because i was having some pretty bad writer's block. i seriously can't believe it crossed over 10k words, i very poorly planned how much i wanted to get done by this chapter, but i didn't feel like splitting it into two so oh wellll. hope you enjoy! pls excuse any typos we all live on a floating rock.

nav. masterlist

☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1

♬.*ﾟplaylist

“I really don’t understand why I’m here…” you’re grumbling as you, Mina and Todo make your way up the pavement of the driveway leading to the house party. You glance to your right where Mina and Todo are holding hands, arms swinging as they keep pace together. 

It was finally Friday after a particularly long and stressful week, so you were extremely excited to just spend the rest of the night relaxing at home. You had already poured yourself a glass of wine when you returned from your evening class and were sitting on the couch with a blanket on, scrolling through Netflix, when Mina approached you while she was talking to Todo on the phone. She mentioned something about an SAE party tonight that she wanted you to come along for and Todo said he’d extend his other invite to you. When you politely declined, Mina slumped down on the couch and told Todo she had no interest in going unless you also came. And then Todo was bribing you with a hundred bucks. Easiest hundred bucks you’ve ever made. 

“Don’t be a downer. You’re here because I think you’ve been working hard and you need to relax a bit,” Mina chirps, now clinging onto Todo’s arm, “and there’s no better way to relax than getting drunk.”

“I could be getting drunk at home,” you mumble to yourself, the night you were imagining for yourself all day being very different from where you find yourself now. 

The guy that was bouncing for tonight’s party was scanning people’s phones and engaging in some small talk before allowing people inside. He was pretty handsome and you wondered if there was some sort of requirement written in the rules to the SAE fraternity that they must be good-looking to join.

“Hello, my brother,” Todo says as he approaches, smacking him so hard on the back in greeting that the man stumbles over slightly and sends an irritated glare Todo’s way before he regains his balance.

“Hey, big guy, are these your invites?” He gestures towards you and Mina, his eyes landing on yours and lingering for a moment. You blink at him. 

“Yes, this here’s my lovely lady, and this here’s my lovely lady’s friend,” Todo says with a faux suave that only makes you narrow your eyes at him. The man at the entrance sighs and nods before stepping out of the way and motioning the three of you towards the entrance. 

The minute you enter, you immediately realize that this party felt very different from the one you were at last week. It was slightly less crowded, but there were still plenty of people bustling around the large expanse of the ground floor with loud rap music that practically shook the walls. It was dark, much more edgy, with the only source of light being the sporadic flashing of lights over by the DJ’s booth. You felt disoriented from the atmosphere, and the smell of weed and alcohol only further dazed you. 

“This is insane,” you barely hear Mina say beside you over the music as she looks around the expansive interior of the house. In between the brief flickering lights that lit up people’s faces, you register that Todo is grinning at her as though he was entirely satisfied by her reaction. 

You only make it a few steps inside, trailing behind Mina and Todo, before feeling the need to excuse yourself to get away from the intense environment for a second. “Hey, I think I’m going to use the restroom real quick. Todo, do you have any idea where it is?” You feel like you’re shouting just to be heard. 

He looks over his shoulder at you. “There are some downstairs but they probably have lines. You could try upstairs.” 

You give him an appreciative nod and head over to the base of the staircase at the right, glancing up before making your ascent. There didn’t seem to be anyone else upstairs, which surprised you, but you figured you were just in luck and began to walk up step by step until reaching the top. The music downstairs begins to sound muffled as you turn around the railing post and make your way to the left into the narrow hallway likely leading towards the bedrooms. There's a white door somewhere in the middle of the hallway that could only be either a closet or a bathroom. You wrap your hand around the cold metal door handle and twist, satisfied that it wasn’t locked.

The mumbling noises of people inside doesn’t register in your mind until you’ve already cracked the door open half-way, and your entire body recoils in the immediate rush of embarrassment washing over you as you take in the sight of two people, a man and a woman, getting handsy with one another in the bathroom. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” is all you manage to squeak out, blinking dumbly at the scene. 

You’re quick to avert your gaze and about to close the door, incredibly mortified by what’s just happened, when the familiar silhouette in front of you causes you to freeze. You slowly lift your line of sight from the bathroom floor until Gojo Satoru is looking you straight in the eye from where he has a girl on the bathroom counter clinging to his shirt. 

“I…” you stutter, face feeling immediately hot as you let go of the door handle and look away from his shocked face. “Sorry,” you say again, this time barely above a whisper, before turning on your heel and making your way down the hallway in such a hurry that you don’t even realize you’re going the wrong way. You hear a feminine voice echo something in the bathroom like what the fuck are you doing?, and then there’s footsteps following after you that sound faster than your own. Ignoring the call of your name, you practically storm into one of the bedrooms, entirely relieved that it was empty, and can only take a couple of steps inside before a hand grabs at your wrist. A chill runs down your spine from the contact.

“Wait, y/n,” Gojo says behind you from where he’s followed you inside, sounding like he’s out of breath. His hand is still holding onto you, keeping you still and you can feel the roughness of his calluses against your skin. When you turn around to face him, he’s close to you and you see his chest is heaving, his hair is disheveled, his shirt is wrinkled at the front and there’s a crease in his brow. 

Your eyes don’t stay on his for long before you’re looking away from him again. “I’m…I’m really sorry, that was really awkward,” you say with a forced laugh and an attempt to wiggle yourself free of his grip but he’s unrelenting. The image of his fingers sliding up that girl’s top was still burned in your vision and no amount of excessive blinking at the carpet beneath your feet seemed to make it disappear. 

“No, I’m sorry, I was supposed to lock…” his trails off and you notice there’s a rough quality to his voice, “that was just-, we were just-”

You finally brave yourself to look up at him and he somehow seems closer than before, his face just inches away from yours and his eyes briefly flickering to your lips before he meets your gaze with a tense expression on his face. You haven’t seen him look so flustered before, and you’ve certainly never heard him struggle this much to find his words either. 

His other hand rubs the back of his neck as he closes his eyes in what looks like frustration, then takes a deep breath to seemingly calm himself down before speaking again. “She’s…We’re just friends,” is all he manages to say. 

There’s a silence between the two of you as you blink at him and he stares at you, his thumb pressing into the skin of where his hand was still wrapped around your wrist. You try really hard to bite back the words you’re about to say, but no amount of willpower could’ve helped you. Your chin tips up, looking at him more decisively, and his gaze is flickering to your mouth again. “Just friends…can’t say I’ve ever tried to get my friends naked in the bathroom at a party before.” You didn’t understand why your tone came off so hostile, but it felt good to criticize his choice of words for some reason.

His lips press together, gaze narrowing slightly and eyebrows furrowing further at your words. He leans in closer to the point where your senses were entirely occupied by him and it was impossible to think of anything else. “Well, you weren’t supposed to see that.” His eyes are contrite but his tone is vexed. 

You relax your body language and use your other hand to forcefully slide his hand off of your wrist, encountering some resistance from him before he acquiesces. Your skin tingles from the absence of his touch and you take a step backwards away from him. His posture straightens slightly, eyes continuing to dart across the features of your face and wide in anticipation as though he was patiently waiting for you to say something that would put him at ease. 

“It’s fine,” you say, trying your best to keep your voice as level as possible, “I accidentally walked in on something I shouldn’t have. You don’t owe me any sort of explanation for it.” Gojo seems to tense up even further at your words, his expression briefly contorting into one of confusion before it reverts to concern again. 

You walk around him towards the bedroom door and see him in your periphery watching every step you take until you eventually exit the room. This time, you don’t hear his footsteps pursuing you from behind. It’s only when you make it past the bathroom, not even daring to take a look inside of it, and about halfway down the hallway that you unsteadily let out the breath you were holding in. Your hand takes its place over your chest in a flimsy attempt to calm your heart down as you quickly make your way down the stairs. There was a sinking feeling in your stomach and you knew you just had to get as far away from here as possible. 

You’re barely able to spot Mina from where she stood with Todo in a corner near the backyard screen door, and briefly notice that Nanami, Geto, as well as a few of their other teammates were clustered there too. You politely acknowledge their pleasant greetings to you as you approach Mina, pulling her to the side.

“Woah, hey, what’s going on?” She asks, stumbling a little bit and you let go of her sleeve. 

“I’m going to go home, not feeling well, I think I just got my period,” you easily come up with a lie, “Nobara says she’ll pick me up.” In truth, you were planning on just calling an Uber for home, but you knew that Mina wouldn’t let you go home by yourself. You didn’t want your confusing and heightened emotions ruining her night.

“Wait, are you sure? I’ll come with you,” she’s quick to say, taking a step towards you but you shake your head.

“No, it’s fine, stay here with Todo,” you demand, “and call me if you need me to pick you up. I’ll let you know when I’m home.” You give her a little hug and she’s standing there confused before hesitantly nodding, and then you make your way to the door. The loud music, flashing lights, and blurred faces around you were so intensely stimulating that when the cold air from outside finally hit your skin, you felt like you were human again. 

The Uber comes by in less than ten minutes as you wait for it on the sidewalk. The driver drops you off at the entrance of your apartment complex and the biting chill of the air has you wrapping your arms around yourself as you wait for the elevator to take you upstairs. Glancing down at your phone to check the time, you see a message from Mina asking if you were home yet. You also see that it’s nearly one in the morning.

Finally making your way inside your apartment, you lock the door behind you and text Mina that you’re home, then slide down with your back against the front door until you’re sitting on the floor. The heat inside was so comforting that you just spent a moment to warm yourself up and just breathe. 

Memories of your conversation with Gojo from just half an hour ago instantly come to the forefront of your mind and you’re shutting your eyes to try and repel the thoughts away. Still so embarrassed that you walked in on him making out with someone, your brain decides to mortify you even further by asking what if you had walked in a few moments later instead? What would you have seen then? 

You squish your cheeks between your hands defeatedly before letting out a sigh and drawing your legs in towards you, hugging your knees to your chest. You didn’t understand why you were so affected by what you saw. You’ve only met Gojo twice, and you knew even before you met him that he was that kind of person. He had a reputation of being involved with a lot of women, so his rather eager desire to explain himself to you just puzzled you even further. 

Standing up, you head over to your bed and flop down on it. Your wrist still burns with the memory of the heat of his hand, and all you can see behind the lids of your eyes when you close them is the sight of him so close to you, stealing glances at your lips. 

Somewhere along the night as you drifted in and out of sleep, Mina called to let you know that she was on her way home. When you hear her open the bedroom door and set her purse down on the nightstand near her bed, your body finally convinces you that it’s okay to rest, and that’s exactly what you do.

---

The weekend is over in the blink of an eye, simply not enough time to mope around in bed, and you’re walking out of your last class of the day on Monday. You check your phone pretty much every other minute to see if Gojo has sent you any messages regarding their new practice schedule for the week, which you’re sure he’s received by now, but there’s nothing. The last messages sent between the two of you were before the party on Friday, and an uneasy feeling has been settling in. You spent most of last week appreciating how helpful he was being so far, but you didn’t even consider the possibility that he could rescind his help at any time too.

You head over to the Department of Communication & Journalism building, making your way up the stairs until you reach the graduate division floor and walk down the hallway to Room 212. As you make your entry, a toasty and rich scent overtakes your senses. 

“Ah, y/n, hello! So good to see you, thanks for coming by. I missed seeing you last week,” you hear Utahime say as she sets down a cup of coffee for you on the conference table in the middle of the room.

“Sorry, I was just…very mentally occupied last week,”  you admit to her, setting your tote bag down on one of the chairs before taking the seat where the cup of coffee was placed, the fragrance instantly waking you up as you take a sip. “Thank you. How have you been?”

“I’ve been well, thank you, just working through my thesis,” she says with a sigh and takes the seat next to you. “Just a few more months…just a few more months, and I’m free!”

You smile at her and watch as she pulls out her laptop, the start-up noise chiming before she starts clicking away at the million tabs that were open. “Did you receive the email I sent you for the newsletter shots?” You ask.

Utahime was a 4th-year graduate student in journalism and was also the head of the school’s newsletter. She has so graciously allowed for Film Club photography shout-outs in every monthly issue for the past couple of years.

She nods. “I did,” she says, resting her elbow on the table and tapping her index finger to her chin, “how come I didn’t see any of your photos in there, though?”

You sigh, sulking your shoulders slightly as you peer down into the brown liquid of your cup and watch the steam evaporate. “I didn’t really take great pictures this month.”

“Aw, well are you working on anything right now?” She returns to clicking away at tabs.

“Yeah, I’ll be taking film photos out on the field of the soccer team’s game against Osaka Uni next week. It’s for an assignment,” you tell her and watch as her face lights up.

“That’s wonderful! That’s a pretty big gig, they usually only let professionals out on the field. How were you able to secure that?” Utahime asks you as she tips her head to the side.

“Ah…let’s just say I have some sort of deal with one of their players?” You say. Your heart drops a little when you remember the lack of communication from Gojo as of recently, wondering if he was able to get that referee permission for you.

“Which one?” Utahime asks with a teasing smile, leaning over to nudge you with her elbow.

“Gojo Satoru,” you say and then she’s pulling away from you and rolling her eyes, an annoyed look making its way onto her face. You let out a small laugh at her behavior. “Okay, well now I’m curious.”

She lets out an exasperated sigh as she peers beyond the window of the room. “I was his TA when he was just a wee-little freshman. He was always showing up late to class and trying to flirt his way out of completing assignments,” she grumbles, “is he still a little brat?”

You worry your bottom lip between your teeth, thinking way harder about her question than she had probably intended. “I don’t know…I don’t really know him all that well.” You look down at your hands. Despite the fact that you’ve only known Gojo for a short while, for some reason you felt like you did know him well. You knew the kinds of things that made him smile, you knew the look in his eyes when he was deep in thought about something. You knew what the heat from his body felt like, what the fragrance of his clothes smelled like. 

Utahime is silent for a moment as she studies you. “Hmm,” she’s humming next to you, “well, tell you what, send me your photos when you’re done with them. If they’re good, I’ll use your photos for the sports recap in the newsletter instead of the professional ones we get sent from the school. I can compensate you for them as well.”

Your eyes widen as you look at her, jaw dropping a bit as you blink in disbelief. “Utahime…you would do that for me?”

She gives you a smile and a wink. “Of course, talent helps talent. And it’s my newsletter, I can do whatever I want with it. Besides, you want to get into the school’s film graduate program, right? I’m sure it would look great on your application that you’ve had some of your portfolio published to the school’s official reports. The photos have to be good, though.” She points a finger at you and gives you a strict look.

You feel tears prickle in your eyes from her words, so overwhelmingly grateful for her support, and can barely whisper out a thank you before she’s rushing over to the other table to grab a tissue box and set it in front of you.

“Gosh, why do all my undergrads cry in my presence?” she complains as she pulls out a tissue and hands it to you.

You dab it to your eye. “Because you have such wholesome mom energy.” 

You say goodbye to Utahime after discussing a few more things and then leave the room. You check your phone and your heart skips a beat when you see Gojo’s name in your notifications.

|| 1:43PM Gojo Satoru: Hey, just wanted to let you know I was able to get that referee permission for you for next week

You let out a tiny gasp when you read his words then clutch your phone to your chest in relief. Utahime’s offer of the prospect of getting published in the school’s newsletter gave you a large sense of purpose, and you felt like it was time to take this assignment of yours extremely seriously to secure the opportunity. And Gojo was the one with the power to help you do that.

|| 1:52PM You: thank you so much, i really don’t know how to repay you

You sigh as you make your way to the stairs, grateful that you were getting some communication from him. The big game on the 28th was next Thursday, and you really needed to practice taking photos with your film camera. You open Instagram again to ask him for his practice schedule, but you see that he had sent you another message.

|| 1:54PM Gojo Satoru: No need to repay me, consider us even. Also sorry for the late notice, but we’re having a formal practice match in about an hour with one of the teams we played against earlier in the season. Do you want to come by?

After reading his message, you quickly shuffle your tote bag open and peer inside to see that you did indeed bring your film camera with you to campus today. Excited, you type out a response.

|| 1:55PM You: yes! i’ll hesd over right now

|| 1:55PM You: *head over

|| 1:55PM You: lol

You see little bubbles indicating typing in the left side corner.

|| 1:55PM Gojo Satoru: Meet me by the art sculpture, I’ll walk you over

You blink at the message for a few seconds, starting to type out a message before deleting it, and doing that a couple more times over. When someone tries to shuffle around you from behind, you notice you were standing awkwardly at the top of the stairs so you step away and lean against the wall. You press your lips together in consideration as you realize that today would be the first time you’re going to see Gojo again after that awkward interaction that you had with him at the party last Friday, and you were really not sure how you were going to feel having to be alone with him again.

|| 1:57PM You: that’s okay, i don’t want to trouble you

His response is instant.

|| 1:57PM Gojo Satoru: Just meet me there

Once you’ve made your way across campus, you spot Gojo sitting on the concrete barrier surrounding the art sculpture by the fields practically right in front of the please do not sit on the concrete barrier sign. His head is turned away from the direction you were approaching from, arms crossed at his chest and one of his legs impatiently bouncing up and down. You notice he’s wearing the school’s colors, a teal blue shirt and gray shorts that had some highlights of a sunset yellow, as well as gray athletic soccer shin socks and cleats. He looks so ridiculously sports boyfriend that you have to shake your head to try and physically fight the effect of how attracted you were to him.

He must’ve heard you approaching as you crossed the street towards him since he turned his head in your direction. He’s wearing a black sports headband across his forehead that’s pushing the hair up out of his face and you’re startled by the intensity of his blue eyes on you. When he stands up, his arms fall to his side, making you sad that you could no longer shamelessly stare at the way his biceps flexed when he had his arms crossed.

“Hey,” he says simply, staying perfectly still where he stood. 

There was only one way to dissolve an awkward situation, and that was to pretend like it never happened in the first place. You tip your head to the side, giving him a curious look before skipping right on up to him. “Hello, there,” you cheerfully say. He looks at you with a borderline annoyed expression.

“You’re in a good mood today,” he comments, his voice sounding deeper than usual. Almost tired. 

“Yes, very good mood,” you chirp as you walk past him, “I just got a very good offer.”

The sound of the bottom of his cleats on the sidewalk follow after you as you head in the direction of the softball batting cages. It's not long before he emerges at your side in your periphery. “What kind of offer?” You can tell from his tone that he was trying to restrain his curiosity. 

“Oh, you’ll see,” you say as you look up at him and smile. He gives you an irritated expression due to your lack of transparency but you continue to skip forward until you’ve made it to stairs that lead up to the grassy hills. 

Gojo’s about a step’s distance behind you as you lightly frolic across the land, your heavy tote bag bumping against your hip with every jump. You feel something fly out of it which halts you in your gleeful stride and look behind to where your bluetooth laptop mouse has fallen onto the grass right in front of Gojo. He’s sighing before crouching down to pick it up, then takes a step towards you and extends it out to you. When you glance up at him, he’s not looking at you and his face is hard to read. 

You grab the mouse from him, fingertips brushing against the skin of his palm, and he ever-so-slightly shivers at the touch. His gaze finally meets yours.

With a sigh, you toss your computer mouse back into your bag. “I’m trying really hard to not feel awkward around you right now, but you’re making it pretty difficult.” You were so used to feeling like he has the upper edge of conversation when you’re with him, but now you felt like you were the one with the power.

He raises an eyebrow at you and when you look at his hands, you notice he was apprehensively cracking his knuckles with his thumbs. “Maybe you wouldn’t feel awkward if you actually stayed to talk last Friday.”

You cross your arms across your chest, disliking his tone. “Stayed to talk? About what? How not close you are with your ‘friends’?” 

He tips his head up to the sky and closes his eyes, his brow furrowing like he was entirely frustrated by you, before he looks back down at you again. “If you don’t want to believe me, that’s fine, but what’s with you always running away whenever I try to talk to you?”

“I wasn’t feeling well that night,” you mumble to him as you turn away and continue to walk towards the practice field. It was the truth, you weren’t feeling well that night, and it was because seeing him kissing another girl made your stomach drop to the core of the Earth. But that wasn’t something you were going to admit to him. It wasn’t even something you were ready to admit to yourself. “Also, it’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s that I don’t care to believe you.”

“But why don’t you care?” he’s asking you, his voice sounding desperate now as he makes his way to your side again. He’s looking at you but you’re looking straight ahead.

You roll your eyes, continuing to march forwards. “Not everyone cares about your love life, Satoru. Contrary to what you might think.”

He jogs ahead a few steps, now walking backwards in front of you and you narrow your eyes at him. His tongue is poking at the inside of his cheek and then there’s a boyish grin on his face. “Say that again.”

“Say what again?” you ask.

“My name,” he says. 

You almost roll your eyes out of your head when you see his amused expression. “I seriously can’t believe this right now,” you’re muttering under your breath and walk past him down the large hill leading to the practice field, his gaze on you burning through your skin until you’re rubbing at your cheek with the back of your hand in a feeble attempt to physically wipe the blush away.

The practice field was much more crowded and busy than it was during the first practice you went to last week. Looking across to the other side, you see a group of men huddled near one of the benches, all of them wearing maroon-colored shirts with black shorts that have gold stripes running down the side of them. None of them were wearing jerseys, but you assumed they were wearing their school colors as some sort of distinguishing clothing that would help them during the practice match. 

“Satoru! Where the hell have you been?” You flinch upon hearing Coach Yaga’s stern voice nearby and you look over to where he had his arms crossed and glaring at Gojo through his thick sunglasses.

Gojo walks past you towards the benches and gives Coach Yaga a salute. “Sorry, sir, personal business.” He then makes his way over to the rest of his teammates that were huddled on this side of the field. There were a few tables located on the sidelines that had refillable water stations, bottles of Gatorade, towels and all sorts of other athletic gear. You walk up to one of the tables and fix the settings on your film camera before taking a snapshot of the items laid out on it. 

The atmosphere is light since this wasn’t an official match and so you spend some time fidgeting with your camera before they get started. You can only imagine how tense it must be during a proper tournament game at the actual stadium off-campus, the thought of thousands of people spectating from stands sending a shiver down your spine. Athletes were of a whole different breed, despite how wholesome and down-to-earth most of the UTokyo soccer players you’ve met so far were.

Eventually, Coach Yaga and the other coach from the opposing school blow their whistles, both acting as referees for the match, and the players scatter themselves across the field. You notice Gojo is at the center of the circle in the middle, his foot on top of the ball as he scans his eyes across the field to each of the players with a focused look in his eyes. He draws his foot back, and just when you think he’s about to kick it forwards to where he was looking, the back of his heel makes contact with the ball instead and it’s sent swiftly behind him towards Geto. Instantly, all the players begin to move across the field, some of the offensive opposing side charging towards Geto as he shuffles the ball between his feet before kicking it way ahead of him to another one of their teammates. You bring your camera up to your face and take a snapshot when one of the opposing team’s defenders makes an attempt to steal the ball. 

The play continues further, both teams playing a push-and-pull with the ball. Gojo makes an attempt at a goal before the opposing team’s goalie lunges for the ball that was flying in the air straight towards the net, catching it in his arms and then crashing down onto the ground. Somewhere along the intense match, the coaches call half-time and you’re shocked by how fast the first half went by. 

Some of the players retreat to the benches to quench their thirst and wipe the perspiration off their faces with their towels, while others remain on the green expanse to pace around while catching their breath. Your attention is drawn to Gojo who stood at the center with his hands on his hips and breathing visibly heavily. He leisurely shuffles the ball between his feet with an innate rhythm before passing it off towards Geto who stood a few feet away from him. Gojo pulled his headband off of his face, his hair falling over his forehead onto the sheen layer of sweat above his eyes. With each breath, his chest rises and falls, lips parted in a display of exertion, and then he grabs at the hem of his shirt to lift it to his face, exposing his toned torso, as he wipes away the sweat at his temples. Your eyes widen at the sight, almost entranced as a wave of arousal suddenly consumes you, before he releases his grip on the fabric and it falls back down. He pushes his hair back up out of his face with one of his hands, the other securing the headband back onto his forehead with a snap, and the muscles of his arms tense fluidly with every motion. 

You quickly look away from him, afraid he'll catch you staring, and blink at the grass as you notice the fast beating of your heart. Coach Yaga's whistle blows, causing you to look back up again. Players were making their way back onto the field and Gojo found his position at the center again. His eyes darted across the field, making their way onto the faces of each player, and then they eventually landed on you. There’s a glimmer in his eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards slightly into a small smile before he's looking back down at the ball by his feet. And then they start the kickoff.

UTokyo ends up winning 3-1, and by the end of the match the sun is starting to set, painting the sky beautiful hues of purple and orange. You lean over to pick your things up off the grass as the players make their final retreat to the benches, and you gently place your film camera back into its case when Gojo’s voice next to you makes you jump.

“Hey. Please don’t run off,” he says. When you turned to look at him, he was still breathing a bit fast and he had a flushed, almost serene, look across his face. “Give me your phone.” He extends his open palm out to you. 

“My phone?” You ask him, reaching for where it was located in your back pocket and pulling it out. He nods without any further explanation. You place it in his palm and he’s tapping away at it before handing it back to you. When you look down, you notice he gave a random number a call.

“That’s my number. Save it,” he says. You blink at him. His expression is soft for a moment and then he’s turning around and away from you, heading over to where his teammates were crowded around one of the tables and giving each other pats on the back.

You tip your head to the side to watch him as a couple of his teammates sling their arm around his neck and smack his chest, masculine laughter and jokes filling the air. You can’t help but smile before you pick up your things and start making your way up the hill away from the field, back towards the heart of campus. 

---

The following days of the week where you don’t see Gojo play soccer seems like a waste, because why weren’t you spending every single day of your life watching him play soccer? You sigh to yourself at the question as you use clothing pins to hang up the film photos you took up onto a wall in your school’s photo lab. You finished developing the photos from Monday’s practice match, only to realize that you accidentally took them on one of your black-and-white rolls instead of full-color. You step back to take a look at all the images you had clipped onto the string pinned to the walls, snapping a shot of the collage with your phone, before pulling them all back down and stuffing them into a Manila folder. 

The only time the photo lab wasn’t bustling with other film & photography majors was usually after sunset, but by the time you finished having dinner with one of your friends on campus, you had made it there around 7PM. By the time you leave and make it to your parked car, it’s pitch black outside. As you step inside your car and turn the key to ignite the engine, the windshield wipers automatically swiping as the control lights inside come to life, the clock on your dashboard reads 10:37PM. 

The GPS for some reason prompts you to take an alternative route back to your apartment that avoids the freeway in an attempt to save you from twenty minutes of traffic, and you consider what to do for a moment before the exhaustion in your bones convinces you to take the allegedly faster way home.

As you begin to head in the unfamiliar direction, the excitement you had to make it home as soon as possible slowly starts to dwindle more and more as the streets morph from well-lit and bustling with people to dark and surrounded by trees instead. What used to be a three-lane street turned into one, and you count the seconds between every passing car you see coming by in the opposite direction. You’re worried when your counting makes it past sixty seconds. 

You turn your music up in your car to distract yourself from the fear of driving down the secluded and dark road. There was a slight fog settling up ahead in front of you to where you could only see clearly about thirty feet ahead. You spot something on the road, blinking rapidly to focus your vision, and then your eyes widen when you realize what it was. Rocks.

You’re instantly swerving your car to the side, attempting to deftly avoid the scattered rocks but unfortunately you drive over a few of them, causing your tire to pop and you let out a scream when you lose handle on your car. One of the rocks flies up and hits your windshield, cracking the glass, and suddenly you’re driving up over the curb to the right before you finally regain control of your car and swerve back onto the road, slamming on the brakes.

Your heart is beating fast in your chest, adrenaline rushing through your body, and you grip onto the steering wheel while you try to regain your breath. Your windshield had a large crack in it, large enough to where the cold air from outside was whistling its way inside your car, and you were slanted in your seat due to the punctured tire at the front. As you took deep breaths, you noticed how alone you were on a dimly lit street where you hadn’t seen a single car in more than five minutes, fear and anxiety surging through your body. Your hands reach for your phone, shakily turning it on and exhaling in relief when you see that you have reception, then call the emergency telephone line.

“Hello, how can we help you?” a feminine voice on the other end of the line says.

“Hi, um,” you say, voice sounding shaky, “I just got a flat tire on Musashi road, about five miles from the Main Street intersection. I don’t have a spare on me, and my windshield is cracked too…could you send roadside assistance?”

“Yes, absolutely,” the woman says kindly and begins to take down some information from you. “Thank you, ma’am. Unfortunately, there has been a big accident on the freeway, so many of the tow-trucks and officers have been dispatched to that area. It may take about an hour for help to arrive. Are you able to call someone to come stay with you as you wait?”

“Oh…” You press your lips together in thought. “Yes, I should be able to.” After working out a bit more logistics with the woman on the other line, you hang up and then you’re scrolling through your contacts. You first call Mina’s line, which goes straight to voicemail, and then you remember that she was out of town for tonight and half of tomorrow visiting her family. You call Nobara, who also doesn’t pick up, and then a couple of your other friends who go straight to voicemail as well. You start to panic slightly before calling your friend Maki who lives two hours away.

“Hello?” You hear her voice say when she picks up.

“Maki! Oh my gosh, thank you for picking up,” you say to her through the phone, your hand on your chest as you sigh. You explain your situation to her and she’s instantly providing you with soothing words. 

“Is there no one that can come stay with you? I feel awful that I’m so far away,” she says.

“It’s okay, they said that help will be here in maybe fifty minutes now…I just really wanted to talk to someone,” you say, peering out into the darkness of the night. You’re still shocked you haven’t seen a single car drive by in the past ten minutes. You pull your phone from your face to check the time and see a notification on your phone that says 5% battery remaining. “Oh, shit.”

“What?” Maki asks worriedly.

“My phone is running out of battery…” you say with a defeated tone. Your anxiety starts to rise in your chest again. “I don’t know if I can stay on the line.” You scroll through your contacts again, finger halting the screen when your eyes land on another name. “I…I think I have someone else I can try calling.”

“Good, try that. I don’t want you to be stuck out there with a dead phone and a flat tire. Let me know if this person doesn’t pick up, okay?” She’s saying to you and you send her your location before hanging up.

You’re breathing heavily from fear when a particularly harsh gust of wind pushes more cold air through the crack of your windshield. Pulling your phone from your face, you click on the name in your contacts and bring your phone to your ear. It rings once, twice, almost a third time before you hear a click and then a voice.

“Y/n?” Gojo’s voice calls out, sounding surprised. 

Hearing his voice immediately causes a wave of relief to wash over you and you lay back in your seat, having to muffle the abrupt sob that threatens to erupt from the tightness in your throat. “Hi,” you whisper.

“Hey, is everything okay?” he asks. 

“Mm…no,” you admit to him, sniffling slightly and swiping at the stray tear that rolls down your cheek with the sleeve of your shirt. “I’m just a bit scared right now.” Your voice cracks towards the end of your sentence and you silently berate yourself for not mustering enough emotional strength at the moment. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he says, his voice starting to sound uneasy. 

“I was driving down this road, it was dark, I couldn’t really see much…but I ended up driving over these rocks and my tire punctured. I called for roadside assistance and they said it would take about an hour for help to arrive,” you ramble, “I tried calling Mina, and some of my other friends to come and wait with me, but-” You run out of breath to finish your sentence and you’re sniffling again. 

“Send me your location, I’m heading over right now,” he says and you hear what sounds like keys jingling in the background along with some other shuffling noises, “can you stay on the line?”

You pull your phone from your ear and see that you’re at 3% now before sending him your location. “No…my phone is running out of battery.” 

He’s silent for a second on the other end. “It says I’ll be there in twelve minutes. Just…hang tight, okay? Make sure your doors are locked.” 

You nod before remembering that he can’t see you, so you say I will. He’s hesitant to hang up on you but when your phone flashes from 3% to 2%, you tell him you don’t have much of a choice and then he’s giving you another word of caution before reluctantly hanging up. You’re all alone to your thoughts in your car again, shaking from the anxiety and blinking tears away. 

The twelve-minute wait felt so long, and eventually Gojo texts you that he’s one minute away when your phone is at 1% battery. You see headlights approaching behind your car in your rearview mirror, the first sight of another human being you’ve seen in probably the past thirty minutes stepping out of the driver’s seat and you immediately recognize his silhouette. He walks up to the passenger side door and tips his head down so he’s visible through the window. At the sight of him, you finally release the breath you were holding in before opening your car door and stepping outside. You both look at each other across the top of your car and you notice him letting out a deep breath of his own as his shoulders relax at the sight of you. 

He makes his way wordlessly around the front of your car to you and he’s studying your face intently. You look away from him when you realize he could probably tell that your eyes were puffy and that you had been crying. From your periphery, you see the back of his hand reach out when he’s right in front of you, hesitating slightly before it briefly brushes against your cheek, dabbing at a tear that you must’ve missed. His hand is warm against your skin and the sudden desire to hug him consumes every single fiber of your being, but when you look up at him, the soft expression on his face renders you still. 

“Thank you for coming,” you’re whispering to him.

He lets out a short comical exhale through his nose. “I wasn’t going to not come. What kind of person do you think I am?”

You shiver as another gust of wind passes through, crossing your arms across yourself. Gojo slips the jacket he was wearing off, revealing a beige sweater underneath, and then he’s circling around you to place it over your back. It’s cozy and it smells like him.

You’re about to voice your concern for him but his voice behind you cuts you off. “I run warm, don’t worry.” 

He walks around to the front of your car, bending over to the side to assess the flat tire at the front, his hands shoved into his pockets. You pull his jacket around you tighter. “Damn, the tread on your tires is horrendous. No wonder. You should really check on them more often.” He straightens himself up and peers at the crack across your windshield. “And that’s definitely not gonna be cheap to fix.”

You sigh in annoyance, his casual tone causing your eye to twitch slightly, but when you noticed your heart was calm and your breathing was normal again, you looked at him with the realization that him just being here managed to soothe you. 

He looks back over at you with a considerate expression. “Do you want to sit in my car? It’s chilly out here.”

You press your lips together before shaking your head. “I feel like I need the fresh air.”

Gojo’s walking over to the patch of grass on the pavement at the side of the road and sits down on the curb. He pats the spot next to him with an awaiting look on his face and you make your way to him, sitting to his left. He looks down at the distance you’ve put between the two of you, almost three feet, and he’s sighing before scootching closer to you. “Don’t be greedy with your body heat. I said I run warm, not that I’m a furnace.”

His shoulder brushes against yours and his knee bumps against your thigh as he gets comfortable. You bring your legs closer to you and wrap your arms around them, resting your chin on top of your knee. Gojo was leaning back onto his outstretched arms behind him, legs extended in front as he tipped his head back up to look at the sky. You look over at him. His gaze slowly shifts from one point in the sky to the other, and you wonder what he’s mapping with his eyes. 

“Thank you for getting the referee permission for me,” you say, realizing you never thanked him in person. “I’m excited to take photos out on the field next week.”

“Sure thing, my freaky little photographer. I’m sure you are,” he chimes. 

You stick your bottom lip out in an annoyed pout. “So, we’re even now.”

He looks over at you and smiles. His blue eyes were a bit darker underneath the starry sky with less light to reflect off of them, and the quality made them look gentle. “No, you’ve gotta make sure Mina stays interested in Todo.” 

You can tell he’s just joking, but you respond as if he’s serious anyways. “That was never part of the agreement,” you say, “besides, I don’t really think that’s necessary. She seems to be pretty taken with him already.”

He laughs. “And you’re not worried about that?”

“What’s there to worry about?” You ask.

“I don’t know, the fact they hit it off so fast?” He shrugs and you feel the friction of the movement against your shoulder.

“Hmm, no. Mina’s a smart girl, she’s good at sniffing out those red flags,” you say assuredly before lifting a suspicious eyebrow at him, “should I be worried? He's your friend. Enlighten me.”

Gojo shakes his head musingly at your concern. “Todo’s a good guy,” he says in a soft voice.

“He’s not on the soccer team, right? I didn’t see him the past couple of times I was on the field,” you say with realization.

“Nah, he’s just a mad lad I met in my freshman year econ class. We’ve been friends ever since,” he says, swaying his knee from side to side. “He’s the one that got me to join the frat.”

You two are silent for a moment, listening to the noise of the wind through the trees and crickets chirping in the distance. The previous anxiety you had from the night completely dissipated into peacefulness instead, and the man beside you was responsible for that shift. 

“Can you tell me what that offer was that you were so excited about earlier this week?” he asks.

You look up to the sky briefly, trying to remember what he was talking about. “Oh. I might be able to publish the photos I take of the game next week to the sports recap in the school newsletter,” you say.

He turns his head to look at you, eyes widened. “Woah, seriously? That’s so cool. Can you make sure I look hot?”

You roll your eyes and go back to resting your chin on your knees. “Sure.” 

A comfortable silence settles before he’s speaking again. “What inspired you to be a film photographer?” He’s turning his body so he’s facing you a bit more directly. 

“Well, the end goal is film movie making…but my professor says that it’s important to understand the art of film photography before that,” you say, twiddling with the zipper of his jacket. “He says that ‘if a filmmaker cannot master the single frame shot, then how can they possibly put together a film composed of a million of them’?” 

Gojo is humming beside you and nodding in agreement. He turns away from you to face forward again and he starts tapping his foot on the pavement of the road. “Huh. That’s kind of similar to something coach says during drills.” 

You glance over at him, a little surprised. He continues to stare forward with a somewhat innocent expression on his face, and then you can practically see the moment another question pops up into his head. 

“Why don’t you make your Instagram public? Your photos would probably get a lot more views or likes that way,” he says in an excited tone, like he’s cracked some code. 

You let out a small laugh and bury your face into your knees, your voice sounding muffled when you speak. “I did have it public for a while. Until a troll spammed a bunch of hate comments on my posts and I quickly switched it to private after that.” Saying it out loud, you felt a bit silly. You’re apprehensive as you say the next few words. “I guess I’m scared that I’m not good enough to be acknowledged or successful, and that somehow other people will see that truth before I can.”

“Oh come on, y/n,” he’s saying beside you, gently nudging your arm with his elbow. The contact causes your breath to catch in your throat. “You just have to go for it. You can’t accomplish anything if you don’t face your fears.” When you watch those words leave his mouth, you notice he now has a thoughtful expression as he stares ahead to the other side of the road.

Another beat of silence goes by. “Why did you start playing soccer?” you ask.

He’s quiet for a long time as he blinks, to the point where you’re unsure if he even heard your question, but then he finally answers. “My dad used to play in college. He introduced me to the sport when I was younger and I fell in love with it.” Your perk up slightly and tip your head to the side in curiosity. He’s looking down at his lap now.

“That’s really wonderful, Satoru. Was he also center forward in college?” When you ask him this, you don’t miss the way his eyebrows pinch together for a split second before his expression relaxes again. 

“Yeah, he was,” he responds, “he got injured in his last year, though. Never got to play after that.” There’s an inflection at the end of his sentence that makes you think he’s about to say more but he doesn’t. 

Your face softens when you see him stare down at the curb with a slightly troubled expression. In a moment of tenacity, you place your hand on his thigh and his eyes widen when he sees the movement before he’s looking over at you.

“I’m sure he’s really proud of you,” you say softly, your hand reaching up to brush a few strands of his hair away from his eyes. Both of you are shocked at the intimate gesture and you’re quick to withdraw your hand. 

Your faces are close, his side still pressed against yours, and neither of you break eye contact. You take a moment to study the handsome features of his face and your heart aches a little. The cold air has you licking your lips and Gojo’s eyes dart to them, gaze lingering, and you blink slowly when he leans forward slightly. Blue eyes find yours again and he stills himself, searching your face for something, and when he doesn’t see it he continues to lean forward and you lean towards him too. And then his lips press against yours, so chaste and so light that it’s possible you could have imagined it, but just when you feel his warm hand cup your face and he’s about to deepen the kiss, a loud honking noise startles the two of you and you both jump, pulling away from one another. You see Gojo’s face illuminated with bright golden lighting as he winces and holds up one of his hands in front of his face to shield himself from being blinded by it. 

You turn your head to the left towards the source of the light and see a tow truck approaching. “Hey! Is this the flat and windshield crack?” you hear the driver shout out from where his head was stuck out the window.

You’re speechless, cheeks feeling flushed from the realization that Gojo had just kissed you, and you turn to look at him. He silently stands up with a weary exhale and a calm expression on his face and then shoves his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, it is.” He makes his way over to the tow truck and you hear him make conversation with the driver as well as the man in the passenger seat. You’re still sitting stunned on the curb, bringing your fingers up to gently touch your lips that were still searing from earlier. Gojo’s suddenly standing in front of you and you’re staring at his legs before you tip your head back up to look at him.

“Do you have any valuables in your car?” he asks, jerking his head in the direction of your car.

“Ah…my phone and my tote bag,” you say. He crouches down in front of you, earnest eyes level with yours, and his hand reaches into the pocket of his jacket where you had stashed your keys. He removes only your car key from the ring, handing the set of other keys back to you, and then he’s unlocking your car to get your stuff out of it.

You remain on the curb, watching as Gojo handles the entire interaction with the tow truck helpers. When they’ve successfully anchored your car to the tow truck and one of the men comes around to shake Gojo’s hand, you see him reach into his pocket, pulling out his wallet and handing the man some cash. You stand up in a bit of a panic and head over. 

The tow truck is already pulling away with your car from the curb when you make it in front of Gojo. He hands you a business card with the towing company information on it and then looks down at you with a mild demeanor, letting out a long exhale. “Ready to go home? You’ve had a long night.”

Exhaustion suddenly consumes your entire being and you hesitantly nod. 

The interior of Gojo’s car is nice. It’s clean, smells like him and pine, with nice leather seats that have warmers. You’re still wearing his jacket, clenching it tightly around you, as he inputs your apartment address into his GPS and starts to drive you home.

Neither of you say a word to one another during the ride. You watch his hand tighten its grip at the top of the steering wheel occasionally as he drives. He turns his car into the entrance of your apartment complex and parks in the loading zone. You watch as he makes his way out of the car to the passenger side door, opening it for you. You step outside and thank him.

“It’s okay, I’ll head inside from here,” you say, already feeling like you’ve caused him enough trouble. You abruptly remember that Mina isn’t home and the realization that you’ll be all alone tonight creates a hollow feeling in your chest.

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Come on,” he says, walking past you to make his way to the elevator and pressing the up button. It dings before immediately opening and he walks inside like he’s the one that lives here. He places a hand out to hold the door sensors when he sees that you don’t follow him inside. You jump out of the mild trance you were in and quickly rush in before he withdraws his hand and the elevator door shuts. 

“Which floor?” He asks, finger hovering over the control pad. You tell him three. 

Once you reach the third floor, you step out into the hallway and he follows suit. Your apartment was just seven units down towards the right and the two of you eventually made it to the door. You turn around to look up at him. His expression becomes slightly distressed and when you don’t say anything to him, he shoves his hands further into his pockets and sways back and forth slightly. 

“Alright, mission accomplished, I got you home,” he says with a forced jovial tone, a hand rubbing the back of his neck. You notice he does that when he seems nervous about something.

Your mind recalls the kiss from earlier, the feeling of Gojo’s lips on yours, the heat of his body pressed up against you in the cold, the tender way his hand held your face still so he could have more of you, only for it to be cut short. Your heart is beating fast in your chest and your cheeks flush with warmth. He’s looking down at you intently and you’re looking up at him pensively. 

You didn’t want to admit it to yourself. Not yet.

Your hands reach into your tote bag to pull out the keys to your apartment. “Yes, home.” He watches you jingle the metal in your hands. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he says and he takes a step back. Turning around, you push your key into the keyhole with shaking hands, turning it, and open the door to your apartment, letting yourself inside. You look at him from the entryway with the door still ajar. 

“Good night, take it easy,” he says to you.

“Thanks, you too.” And then he’s out of your sight as you shut the door.

You lean back against the front door, letting out a sigh and biting down on your lip, the thumping of your heart pertinent throughout your entire body. There was a lingering truth to all of the emotions that you’ve been having recently. It followed you in the early hours of the morning, it followed you as you tried to fall asleep at night, it was present in the silence, lurking in the dark, and it was there with you tonight for every second that he was by your side.

You had feelings for Gojo Satoru. 

a/n. thanks sooo much for reading and i hope you enjoyed aaa idk this week felt off for my writing for some reason but i heavily edited it so i hope it came out okay in the end.

➸ take me to chapter six!

tag list: @who-can-touch-my-boob @getitsatoru

[rebelfell]

what’s that? nobody asked for skater!eddie? well, that’s awkward cos he just showed up…

one thing about me? when I have writer’s block… I’m gonna make a moodboard. not gonna lie, it’s a sickness.

[fxirybun]

🍡 PAC: script shifting scenarios with your DR s/o + mini moodboards

INTRO

hey there my fellow shifters ! i have a sweet treat that i'm about to offer to you all which was already stated in the title above ^^ if you're currently struggling with writing your script or experiencing writer's block , this post is meant for you ꒰◍ˊ◡ˋ꒱੭⁾⁾  i included some mini moodboards to help you visualize the scenarios.

i would like to thank the person who gave me this suggestion ^^ hopefully they get to see this post <3

READ ME

this is a shift-related pick-a-card reading. DR means “desired reality” whilst s/o means “significant other”. scripting is a useful tool that allows shifters to write down their intentions and add some specific details about themselves and the reality they want to enter.

this is a collective reading ! take what resonates and leave what doesn't. i cannot guarantee 100% accuracy. take the pac reading lightly ჱ̒ ｰ̀֊ｰ́ )

ෆ⸒⸒ pile one🍦

these scenarios can be adapted however you like to fit the connection and dynamic you imagine with your DR s/o. it's also great for visualizing deeper moments and building a strong emotional link to that reality !

01 THE COZY CAFÉ DATE

you and your DR s/o are sitting in a cozy , dimly lit café with warm beverages as you and your DR s/o's order. the weather outside is cool , maybe it’s raining outside due to how cloudy the sky is , similar to london weather. the two of you are both wrapped in scarves and sweaters. there's soft music that plays in the background as you and your DR s/o exchange stories about childhood memories and plans for the future.

SELF-MADE QUOTES : "nothing feels warmer than the presence of your soul residing next to me".

02 STARGAZING ADVENTURE

it's a clear night outside and how you and your DR s/o are both planning to drive out to a secluded hill , a field of flowers / plants, or hanging out at the seashore. with a blanket that is spread out , you lie together with them , pointing out the constellations that you saw from the night sky , making wishes on shooting stars , and talking about the vastness of the universe , while feeling deeply connected between you and your DR s/o.

SELF-MADE QUOTES : "the stars are indeed beautiful but i'm only , i'm only looking at you're glimmering eyes whilst you're admiring the night sky".

03 COOKING MEALS TOGETHER

in a warm , sun-filled kitchen , you and your DR s/o are cooking a meal together. inside the kitchen room, you can hear laughter as you playfully argue about how much spice your DR s/o added , maybe a little flour fight breaks out between the two of you. at the end of the cooking session , you both enjoy the meal that you and your DR s/o prepared. there's candlelight on the table , making a toast to the simple joys of life.

SELF-MADE QUOTES : "“we stirred up more than just a meal—laughter , love , and the kind of joy that fills both the heart and the table”.

EXTRAS : anime world , power / influence (being famous , rich , has authority , strong connection with people of high social status) , grumpy x sunshine , with people around you , magical / supernatural , idol world (kpop , jpop , cpop , etc.) , surprise / unplanned / not much is being scripted , introvert x introvert dynamic , erotic , heart , dragonfly , moon , horse , bicycle.

ෆ⸒⸒ pile two 🍵

these scenarios can be adapted however you like to fit the connection and dynamic you imagine with your DR s/o. it's also great for visualizing deeper moments and building a strong emotional link to that reality !

01 A LAZY MORNING IN BED

it's a slow weekend morning. the sunlight coming from the outside streams in through the window , and you and your DR s/o both lie in bed , wrapped up in each other's presence. there's no rush in trying to get up—just sleepy conversation , giving soft kisses , and cuddling whilst the world outside stays still. maybe or perhaps you can even make breakfast together afterward.

SELF-MADE QUOTES : “no need to chase the day when every moment here feels like forever”.

02 A ROAD TRIP WITH NO DESTINATION

you and your DR s/o both decided to take an impromptu road trip together. the windows are up , music coming from the radio is blasting , and how the wind is brushing through your hair. you knew that there was no fixed destination as to where the two of you were going , just an adventure to look forward to. you and them stop at random spots—a small-town diner , a beautiful lookout point , or a quirky roadside attraction whilst creating memories along the way.

SELF-MADE QUOTES : "with no map to guide us , the open road became our compass , and how each stop is an unexpected chapter.”

03 DANCING IN THE LIVING ROOM

on a quiet evening inside the living room , one of your favorite songs comes on from the speaker. without saying a word , your DR s/o pulls you into a dance. you feel as if the rest of the world fades away and time slowly stops as you move together in perfect harmony , lost in each other’s eyes. the warmth of their embrace envelops you , creating a bubble where only the two of you and the music exist. each gentle sway feels like a promise for a lifetime.

SELF-MADE QUOTES : “we both dance in silence , lost in each other’s gaze , turning a simple moment into an eternal memory.”

EXTRAS : adventure , tragedy , booktok / book world , superhero / villain , thriller / horror , comic book world , magical / supernatural , alone , mythology , fairy , horse , starfish / star , mermaid / siren , anchor.

ෆ⸒⸒ pile three 🍫

these scenarios can be adapted however you like to fit the connection and dynamic you imagine with your DR s/o. it's also great for visualizing deeper moments and building a strong emotional link to that reality !

01 CAMPING UNDER THE STARS

you find yourself in a serene forest by a lake , camping with your DR s/o. after setting up a tent , you decided to sit by the fire roasting marshmallows , sharing stories , and how laughter can be heard. the crackling flames and the gentle rustle of leaves create a soothing backdrop for your connection. later on , you and your DR s/o fall asleep , feeling safe in each other's presence. in those moments , the worries of the world fade away , leaving only the warmth of love and the beauty of the stars above.

SELF-MADE QUOTES : "under a starlit sky , “By the firelight, laughter echoed in the serene forest, as we held each other close, wrapped in love and the magic of a starlit night.”

02 CELEBRATING A SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT

you just accomplished something important in your DR , whether it’s personal or professional , and how you considered it to be a big milestone for you. Your DR s/o found out about this exciting news and decided to surprise you with a small celebration—a homemade dinner , a handwritten letter , or maybe just their heartfelt words of pride and love for the person they love which is you. this moment feels special for the two of you.

SELF-MADE QUOTES : "your support in my achievement made the victory sweeter , but it’s your love that makes every moment feel truly complete.”

03 A DREAM VACATION

you and your DR s/o are about to embark on a vacation to your dream destination. wether this location or trip to a tropical beach , a walk in a european city, or staying in a mountain cabin. you found yourself immersed in spending days exploring , taking a quick relaxation , and even discovering new things with them. there are moments of awe at observing the beautiful landscapes , and feeling connected to the world. your Dr s/o decided to take you to a quiet , romantic dinner with a breathtaking view , making the vacation feel more magical.

SELF-MADE QUOTES : “with every step we take , the world whispers its beauty , but it’s your gaze that holds the most radiant horizon.”

EXTRAS : shoujo , main waiting room , superstar life (singer , dancer , music-related , famous) , surpise / unplanned / not much is being scripted , fan-fiction / au , platonic soulmates (friends , siblings , family , etc.) , slice of life , josei , sci-fi , squirrel , rose , tree , moon , star.

[we-were-beautiful]

Unraveled Ends Chapter 2

Pre chapter Shenanigans 

a/n: Sooooo long time no post but I'm here now and that's what matters. Writers block hit me like a brick wall after my last piece that I did for the riders quadrant fic exchange back in July, that piece was only supposed to be 3k in words but ended up around 7.8k. I had been working on this chapter at the same time and had roughly 2k words but after I got through the edits on the gift fic couldn't seem to string together a coherent sentence much less moving the plot forward. all my photos for the moodboard/aesthetic come from pinterest. Last bit of info is that we did pick up two beta readers for this story( but I am always open for more if people want to hop in). So big Thanks to @loving-and-dreaming and @curse-bearing-hips for reviewing this chapter. That said we are all still human so there is more than likely some mistakes. And a huge thanks to @whisplion for inspiring me to write this fic. Hope y’all enjoy  

Summary: A tailor in the heart of Velaris finds herself mated to the two most powerful fae in Prythian. Unfortunately for her the mating bond only snapped for her, leaving her to question on how to move forward. Should she wait for her mates to feel the bond or should she go ahead and reject it and live with the gaping hole in her heart  

Poly!Feysand x Reader 

Warnings: None but there is angst

WC:3.1k

The next few weeks are nothing short of hell. I didn’t know pretending like nothing is wrong would be as exhausting as it has been. It was a never ending cycle of waking up, getting ready, going to work, and coming home. At work I was dancing a fine line of hiding everything from my seamstresses and sister and failing miserably. The only small mercy that I have had was that I haven’t had to see my mates. Thank the mother for that; I don’t know how I would have reacted to seeing them so soon after the bond had snapped. Not seeing them however did nothing to dampen the feelings that the two of them would throw down the bond unknowingly. Deep down  I know that they didn’t mean to send those memories and feelings to me, but on a good day it makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t know why it has gotten worse. I was fine for a year of burying the feelings that I have for the two down.

They were so happy together, and I don’t have a place in their perfect lifestyle. I thought that I had seen them around town a lot when they were just my customers but now it felt like every time I turned around they were there. It has increased since they came in to get their outfits for Starfall designed. I swear I ran into Rhys yesterday when I went to get lunch for myself. I ran into Feyre the other night while I was getting the groceries for my sisters and me. The two of them had actually approached me a week ago while I was at the park with my baby sister. They had little Nyx with them then and it felt like someone had taken a hold of my heart and started squeezing. The babe was adorable at two years of age. He's starting to reign terror on his parents who had apparently decided he needed to run off his energy at the park. The two of them are far more friendly with people than I would have liked, but mostly that friendliness was targeted towards me. As they joined me on the bench sandwiching me between them. They ended up chatting my ear off for the better part of an hour. There brushes of hands against my body that were too well placed to be incidental. It felt like a vice clamping down around my heart as I left the park with my sister to head home. Feyre had wanted me to stay a bit longer so that she could continue talking to me about my sketches. 

The physical interactions with them weren't the worst thing though. It was the images and emotions that the two had unknowingly sent down the bond. It wasn’t unusual to get a flash of lust from one of them at any given time of the day. It was inconvenient to just get hit with the overwhelming need for someone when I’m with clients. Late at night though I get the images. Of my mates tangled up in pleasure. Sometimes it was flashes of Feyre's face screwed up in pleasure; other of Rhys’s eyes alight with lust and desire. Those nights sleep was hard to come by. A few of those nights I found myself back in the shop working on my clients orders, anything to keep my mind from lingering on the two people that didn’t know I was bound to them.  I was surprised to be receiving so much from them down the bond given that both of them are powerful Demati. I figured that they would be skilled at keeping to themselves. 

Last night was one of those sleepless nights. It was a damn near endless barrage of want and need coming from both of them. If I hadn’t known that their mating bond had been accepted between them I would have assumed that they had accepted it last night. I left a note for my middle sister in the kitchen before heading to the shop in the dead of night. Being the night court, plenty of people were milling about the streets and shops in the palace of thread and jewels. Thankfully it isn’t one of the nights we keep the shop open for those who live under the stars, I could work in peace and not be bothered by anyone. No customers, no seamstresses, no nosy sisters, and most importantly no over friendly mates or their friends. 

It was wonderful to sit in the shop and do what I love with my shadows dancing around me. The shadows had been my friends since I was a very small faeling. They were more shy when I was out in public but when it is just me they come to life and sing. I had only seen two other people like me. One was my maternal grandfather who was from a court that had long since been lost; and the other was Azriel. Grandfather was able to teach me how to control the shadows and use them to my advantage. But he also told me to keep the gift to myself. Shadowsingers had long been coveted by the courts to be used as spies; and he and my parents were worried that the former High Lord would have conscripted me into his spy network if it was ever found out. I had successfully kept it a secret for nearly 400 years. Though times like this, when the shop is closed and I have the room to myself, I let them loose. A soft smile grows on my face as I watch the playful shadows dance about the room. A few of them try to be helpful by handing me tools and instruments that I need as I work on Feyre’s Starfall gown. 

Feyre’s dress had been coming along beautifully. She had come in for a fitting last week where we were checking the fit on the mock up. The High Lady had all but begged to have a similar fabric to my own. We had more of the fabric left; thank gods for that; the last thing I wanted to do was take a trip to the Autumn court to source more. I lose track of time working on the dress; so much so that I didn’t realize the sun had risen until I heard the lock on the door turn. 

“Sis, are you still here?” Genevieve calls out. Of course she came here. “I saw your note on the counter this morning. I dropped Itty bitty off at school and brought breakfast.” 

I sigh and set my things down to make my way out of the work room. Genevieve stands in the room looking so much like our mother; hair tied up in a worn red scarf, a dark red linen shirt and comfortable leather trousers. Ready for a day at the blacksmith. In her hands she balances a bag of what I assume is the breakfast and two cups in the other. 

“Your shadows are so helpful I’m jealous.” She passes me one of the cups and I take a sniff and immediately am greeted by the comforting scent of coffee “ Were you here all night again?” 

It's not hard to hear the concern in her voice as she takes a once over of me. 

“Yes” I responded, taking a sip of the delicious coffee that she had brought. 

“Ok what is going on with you.” She cocks her head to the side “It seems like you have been stressed this past year. Well more so than normal. This is starting to get worrisome. The number of times you have left the house in the middle of the night and worked through to morning is ridiculous.”

“What’s going on? I know it's not money since I help with the books and we have two sources of income coming in.” She takes a breath. “You can talk to me Sis.” 

“Let's go into the office. The ladies should be coming in soon.” I led her into my office not wanting to state what was going on when one of my employees could walk in. Once we are in the office I gesture for her to take a seat in front of my desk. I take a seat and my chair, bones creaking as I sit on the soft leather. She fixes me with a look telling me to start talking. 

“So I met my mates.” I sigh running a hand through my hair 

“You met your mate. That's good news right.” She starts rifling through the bag of food 

“Mates. Two of them.” She stops looking up at me 

“Two. Is that possible?” Her eyebrows nearly disappear into her hairline. 

“It is.” I lean back in my chair. “Incredibly rare but possible.” 

“So let me repeat my earlier question. That’s good news right?” 

“It’s complicated.” I bite my lower lip “The two of them are already mated. Sealed the bond and everything. But the bond only snapped for me.” 

“They don’t know.” Her voice drops in concern 

“No,they don’t.” 

“So what is stressing you out about it? You wouldn’t be leaving the house in the middle of the night over nothing?” 

“They are sending things down the bond. Images, emotions; it’s driving me crazy Gen.” 

“Shit, well can you block them out.” Mom had taught the two of us how to shield from Demati when we were younger. 

“I’ve tried; it only is able to dull it.” I fidget in my seat.  “It also doesn’t help that I keep seeing the two of them every time I go out into the city.” 

“Oh..” She hesitates “Do you mind if I ask who it is.?”  I quickly sent a few shadows out to make sure that the shop was still empty and that there were no busy bodies lurking around the shop. 

“It's the High Lord and Lady.” This was the first time I had ever said those words out loud. I guess I had thought that if I didn’t say it then I could pretend it wasn’t real and that it didn’t bother me. Gen lets out a low whistle.

“That does complicate things. I was going to tell you to grow a pair and tell them but fuck. The High Lord and Lady that… that makes things way more complex.” 

“You see why I am stressed now.” I can feel the ugly emotions filling my chest.

“Yeah, you are in the world's shittiest situation.” She lets out a sigh “It's not like you can go up to them and say hey I am your mate. Fuck I am sorry Sis.” 

I let out a wet laugh, a few tears escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheeks “ There’s nothing for you to apologize for. I just got dealt a shitty hand by the mother.” 

“Are you going to…” She trails off. I know what she was going to say though. It wasn’t something that was talked about often and not in polite company. Rejecting the bond. 

“It’s an option, and I am considering it. I want to ask a few friends of mine in Day about it first though. Since it hasn’t snapped for them they shouldn’t notice but I would like some confirmation first.” It helped that I had friends in other courts that I could gather information from; and there was no better place for information than  the Day Court.

“I will support whatever decision you make. You deserve to be happy Sis, and if your happiness is achieved by breaking the bond then do it.” 

The conversation between us dies after that as she passes me a blueberry muffin from the bag. Seems she stopped by our favorite bakery before heading over here. Time seems to fly too quickly and all too soon Gen has to leave for work leaving me here by myself. Although I’m not on my own for too much longer as my employees start trickling in.

The day seems to stretch on and on as clients make their way into the shop for fittings or to pick up their orders. The dull chatter of my employees and the various customers buzzes in my ears as I methodically pull a small needle through water-like silk. It's hard to make out any distinguishable conversation from behind my office door. Today seems like one of those days when time is just suspended and I can work in peace. There is a quiet content hum from my mates bond; one of the few times that I haven't felt heightened emotions from either of them. 

A soft knock shatters the silence of the office, effectively breaking the spell of tranquility that had fallen over me 

“Come in.” My voice cracks just a bit from not using it. The door squeaks open as a familiar head of midnight hair pokes in. Violet eyes twinkle in amusement as a smile grows across his stupidly handsome face. 

“Sweetheart!” The door swings open the rest of the way as Rhysand swaggers his way into my office like he owns it. I am quick to stand from my desk. 

“High lord.” I give him a polite curtsy, slamming my mental shields up before meeting his gaze

“How many times do I have to tell you it's Rhys?” He laughs before taking a seat in one of the leather chairs in front of my desk. “ So are you ready for my fitting or should I come back later.”  

Shit… Shit shit shit. I had completely forgotten that he was on my books for his second fitting today. It wasn’t like I was completely unprepared. No his suit was ready for the fitting but I was nowhere near mentally prepared for a fitting and not having slept the night before was going to be the actual death of me. 

“No, you are fine.” I move from behind the desk “Let me go grab your suit and we will get you out of here in no time.” 

“No need to rush, I quite enjoy your company.” I cannot afford to focus on my racing heart right now. I need to get him out of this shop as quickly as possible. I move through the back of the shop with practiced ease quickly locating the High Lord’s suit hanging neatly next to the High Lady’s gown. The two pieces were works of art in themselves that compliment each other. The suit as dark as the night sky embossed fabric giving the illusion of swirling depths. The dress flowed off the hanger like liquid moonlight, the delicate silk the identical twin to my own gown. Small gems sewn into the bodice catch and reflect the light like the stars that will make their journey across the sky on Starfall. For as much as I don’t want to care about the two, these pieces tell a different story. If I wasn’t just a little bit attached to the two of them I would have passed the designs along to another dressmaker and been done with it; but now I painstakingly designed and sewn these garments for my mates. I let out a small sigh before reaching up to grab the suite. Once I get back to my office I am quick to pass the suit off to Rhys directing him to the small changing area at the back of the office. I quickly begin to route around my desk for my supplies.  

An hour, all I have to do is make it an hour and then I will be free of Rhysand for the time being. It feels like forever before he walks out from behind the curtain. It is only years of working with Rhysand that keeps me from gasping out. If the suit was beautiful on the hanger and dress form it is absolutely stunning on the male it was made for. Rhys makes his way over to the platform and mirror in the office stepping up before moving to fuss with the cuffs. 

“This is a beautiful suit Sweetheart.” He moves to pick off the smallest piece of lint on the  collar. I move to stand behind him to begin the process of adjusting the way the suit sits on Rhysand.

We continued the song and dance that we had done for many years to get the suit to fit him perfectly. I can't help the small ache in my chest as I circle around him placing pins and chalk lines where minute alterations need to be made. Rhys is beaming the whole time chatting away like we hadn’t seen each other just the other day. I can feel the long day in my bones, my hands ache from the countless hours of work. My fingertips are raw from the amount of times I have jammed pins and needles into them. While I try to appropriately match Rhys energy, it's easy to tell that he isn’t buying the act. 

“You seem tired.” He arches a brow at me as I move to pin the hem of his pants. 

“My mates kept me up last night.” A mischievous glint grows in his violet eyes.

“Oh. They kept you up .” He teased but hidden in the back of his teasing tone seemed to be a bit of jealousy… possessiveness. 

“Yeah the two of them kept sending all of their emotions down the bond last night.” I sigh looking up at him from my spot on the floor 

“Two mates…” He stumbles with his words. He hasn’t done that since he was a teen and I was helping my father with his fitting “The mother has blessed you.” 

“Blessed or cursed.” I put the pins down. 

“Cursed.” He questions

“The bond only snapped for me.” A small sad smile grows on my face.  My mental shields are intact and stronger than ever and it's not like I can tell Rhys that he and Feyre are my mates. 

“Have you told them?” He questions, holding a hand out to help me from the floor 

“No. The two of them have already sealed the bond and have started their own perfect little family.” It feels like an Illyrian has punched me in the gut as I make this confession to him “I don’t want to ruin that for them.” 

“So what are you planning to do?” He tilts his head looking at me in sympathy “ Because you seem to have wilted these past few months. 

“I have a few things I am thinking about doing. I want to seek out a few friends in Day first before committing to it.”

“Committing to what Sweetheart?” he gazes at me with concern 

“Breaking the bond.” And as those words leave my lips you can see the color drain from his face.

Tag list: @rachelnicolee @goldenmagnolias @jesssicapanigua @sweetorangeblossom @cat-or-kitten @alowint @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @coldpeachkitten @esposadomd @araneea92 @saltedcoffeescotch @persephonesalvatore

[thelargefrye]

🌷 SMALLS’ FIC RECOMMENDATION LIST.

i've seen a lot of fic rec lists circulating in the community recently and so i felt like i should also make one to support fellow writers who i think really deserve that extra love and attention.

so this is also an appreciation post because i have quite a few things to say. these are mainly writers that i enjoy reading and think need a lot more love and attention because let's be honest, they have amazing ideas and people are just sleeping on them.

so, i'll just jump right into it! make sure to send these writers love and reblog their works!!!

my best friend and person i share a braincell with : @sanjoongie

check out her master list.

like you want to talk about talent? topaz is the one who breathes talent and ideas that literally no one else is coming up with. like if i had to read only one person for the rest of my life, it would be topaz because her writing is just amazing. her moodboards that she makes for her works, perfect. everything topaz does when it comes to writing is amazing, and i'm so glad that she's my best friend and braincell.

and not only that, but topaz is just nice to be talk to! like she makes you want to repeatedly talk to her and she is so good at helping flesh out my own ideas. i wouldn't have written half the things i did last year if it wasn't for her.

anyways, i'm so grateful and proud to call topaz my braincell because she's so amazing, talented, and nice. it breaks my heart that more people don't talk about HER. like you want to read something different and so well written then you need to read literally ANY work topaz has written.

topaz, my lovely braincell, thank you for putting up with me and my shit 24/7. if it wasn't for you i probably wouldn't have gotten out of my writer's block. and just now that i love you and thank you for being an amazing friend and writer.

and if you've gotten this far, i'll just straight up tell you that this is topaz appreciation post. so now i'll link some of my favorite works by her and tell you why i love them:

twilight academy ( all parts ) ( rated : mature )

wizard professor!seonghwa x wizard professor!f!reader ft. ateez

this currently has four parts and is still ongoing and is literally SO good. like who else is writing about a professor au WHERE THEY ARE ALL WIZARDS. and not to mention the worldbuilding and history that is all mentioned and talked about. its so so so good and the smut in it is absolutely to die for. and the chemistry between seonghwa and mc is so good, i love when they go back and forth.

breed ( part one ) ( rated : mature )

ateez x f!reader ( most of the members are aliens with san and another member being human )

now THIS is an alien au done right and different and basically sum it up with one sentence its "alien!teez doing sexual experiments" (from @/morethingsfandom). like its just so good and the SMUT! THE SMUT IS WHY WE ARE HERE PEOPLE!! THIS IS WHAT SCI-FI SMUT IS ABOUT!!! like this is honestly pure pwp and a nice switch up if maybe twilight academy isn't your thing.

see? topaz does everything!

dragon oracle ( here ) ( rated : mature )

dragon!ateez x dragon!f!reader ( based off of my own dragon au )

THIS!! in my opinion is one of topaz's best works (i may be biased lol) and def my favorite from all time. topaz took my au and did her own spin on it and made it her own. she cared about the source material, asked questions, let me ramble, and then boom! a masterpiece was made. if you like my dragon au, then i highly, HIGHLY recommend you read this. and if you've already read... then read it again.

i wish it was me ( here ) ( rated : 18+ )

water bender!san x avatar!hongjoong x water bender!f!reader x water tribe warrior!yunho ( implied ot8 )

again another fic that is based off of mine but literally made it her own because topaz is just that talented. a "what-if" au for my alta series where mc is a water bender and with san and yunho. absolutely amazing and does so well with writing all the characters and their dynamics. a def read if you love atla!

sweet sorrow of evil ( master list ) ( rated : mature )

ateez x evil queen!f!reader ( members have different roles within the story )

this is a collab story between topaz and me and i couldn't make this post and NOT include this series that we are working on together. this really just shows what two authors can make when they come together. we co-wrote the prologue and are currently writing the first chapter. this world is our baby and i love and it has the both of us in a chokehold, i'm so proud of the world me and here built and i want everyone to see it.

and honestly, that's just the tip of the iceberg cause topaz has SO MANY more but these are just the ones that i always think about. like, i really suggest you all check out topaz's works. i have more of her fics on my fic rec blog (@comicsan) so if you want to see more of her and other fics that i have enjoyed then i would check that blog out.

please go show my bestie support, it would mean the world to me!

thank you 🩷

[noahsmuse]

close to you ♡

✮ PAIRING: noah sebastian x popstar!reader

✮ SUMMARY: headcannons showcasing the relationship between two opposing ends of the music industry with a popstar!reader and noah sebastian!

✮ A/N: again, thank you all for the support on my last few posts!!! if you have any requests for something you’d like to see me write, don’t hesitate to send it in ᵔᴗᵔ

moodboard inspired by headcannons located -> here!!!!!!! 🪩🎤✨

୨୧ it all started when you mentioned how Bad Omens was one of your favorite bands in a magazine interview and people went CRAZY. bad omens fans eventually found it and started sharing it around, so happy that they share a common interest with an artist they’re very familiar with.

୨୧ this takes noah a few days until he sees what you said as he isn’t on social media as much anymore, i feel like one of the guys would ask if he’s seen it and then they’d show it to him which is how he’d probably find out

-> he had known about you before just from listening one of your songs that has recently blown up and thought it was really good but didn’t think too much about it

୨୧ because you both share the same record label, at some type of party they were throwing is where you both met!!!!! i feel like noah would spot you out first and try to make some type of conversation with you since he remembered about how positively you talked about the band

-> the night ended with you walking out with noah’s number and ever since that night, there wasn’t a single day that went by without either of you having a conversation whether it was via text, call, or facetime. you both also ended up finding out that you had A LOT in common, by the ways you make music, the media you both consume and are really into

୨୧ as your relationship progresses over the phone, the opportunity finally shows itself since you both are on a break from touring, he decides that it’s a perfect time to ask you on a date!!!!

-> he picks you up with some of your favorite flowers in his hand that he had just bought earlier while thinking back to a random conversation you two had on the phone about flowers, opens the car and door for you, and ends up paying for both of the sweet treats & drinks you both order. he’s just such a gentleman and wants to impress you :(

୨୧ and while the date seems to be going well when the two of you end up leaving, your bombarded with flashing lights and cameras all in the both of your faces. noah tries his best to cover you both up the most he can while taking the lead back to his car

-> when he drops you off and walks you back to your house door is also when he officially asks you to be his girlfriend and obviously you accept?!?!

୨୧ i definitely think that your relationship would be more of a “private but not secret” situation since you’re both in the spotlight with fans and paparazzi everywhere waiting to make a new headline about how perfect you both look for each other :)

-> also along with the “private but not secret” idea, people notice how you wear a lot of his hoodies and shirts in your off time along with some bad omens merch that you’ve either stole from him or that he’s gave you (people also see him wearing your merch & putting some of your songs into his spotify playlists as support for you)

୨୧ he’s VERY protective of you considering how much of a following you and him have combined so he always loves to hold your hand or waist just to make sure you’re safe at all times :)

୨୧ you’ve both definitely helped each other through the negatives about being in the music industry with things like writers blocks, burnouts, insecurities, and doubts throughout your careers

-> (since he’s so talented & amazing) he’d definitely help record, write, and engineer songs for your next album or maybe just for fun because he just loves spending time with you while doing something you both enjoy!

୨୧ he LOVES to come and support you during your performances wither it’s at a festival or during your own headliners!!!! fans usually notice him either sitting side stage or in the grassy areas around the pit where he’ll be watching you, sometimes they see him singing along to your songs and even taking photos & videos of you up on stage, he just loves watching you doing what you enjoy :)

-> and same thing for when you go to their concerts & festivals that bad omens is performing for ♡

୨୧ whenever the both of you start going down a flight of stairs or a hill, he’ll always run in front of you so he can hold your hand to “prevent you from falling” (when really this is just a way for him to hold your hand) because of how you’re usually always wearing shoes with a heel that could potentially harm you

୨୧ he’s always talking about you no matter it’s whether about making music with you or the cute little date you both went on the other day, he’s just so obsessed and amazed that he’s your boyfriend

-> and yes, the boys do make fun of how he doesn’t shut up about you but they also usually ask about how you’re doing or how the date that he mentioned he was going on with you went :)

୨୧ you two are like the people’s prince & princess!!! everyone loves you guys & the little “opposites attract” dynamic since you’re usually in brighter colors with sparkles while he’s wearing all black. interviewers are always asking about y’all’s relationship, the fans love you both and everything you guys do is iconic!!!!!!!

🪩 ☆⌒｡˚✧✨

[scotfraweek]

It’s here guys! The long awaited list for ScotFra Week! Thank you to those of you who voted on the poll/form

I hope you guys like the list I created. I had to really think this through and really decide how I wanted to organize the Themes/Prompts in a way that would not only make sense but that would be interesting and bring out your creative and imaginative ideas to the event.

Now without any further ado, here they are

🌹Day 1 - October 20

Soulmates / Reincarnation

“Maybe we make it in another universe/life”

“Have we met before?”

High School Sweethearts

Differences Attract

❤️Day 2 - October 21

Humanverse VS Fantasy

“We can build something new, for us.”

“Have you ever wondered, of what could’ve been?”

Long-Distance Relationship

🌹Day 3 - October 22

A/B/O or Pirates/Merfolk

“I was here first!”

“Is this what you want?”

Unplanned Pregnancy

Jealousy

❤️Day 4 - October 23

✨F R E E D A Y✨

Anniversary

🌹Day 5 - October 24

Horror / Supernatural (In honor of Halloween)

“Why is there so much blood?!”

“So everything you said was a lie?”

There was only one bed

Serial Killer/ Haunted House

❤️Day 6 - October 25

Artist/Fan or Detectives

“There was a slight miscommunication”

“You’ve never done this before, have you?”

Love = Weakness

Rivalry

🌹 Last Day - October 26

Angst/Hurt or Post Apocalypse

“Do you remember when…?”

“I trusted you!”

Character Death/Still Alive

The End of the World

🌹 Of course if you guys would like, you can mix and match. If a prompt from a different day fits your idea for one of the Themes, you are more than welcome to use it. You also can use more than one prompt if you wish as well!

❤️ Art, fics/one-shots and moodboards are all welcomed. Anything that you can use to express your imagination and creativity

✨How to submit your works✨

Just tag the account @scotfraweek as well as the #/ScotFraWeek2024 with your submission/post

✨R U L E S✨

Yes, there are rules guys… please follow them

I will not tolerate any bashing of other Hetalia Characters even if it is for the sake of your idea. Please be respectful of the other characters, I don’t want any fan-wars bc someone’s blorbo was bashed

Try to keep politics and actual life events to a minimum, no need for there to also be any actual hate/fighting during the event amongst participants.

I will say this only once, please to not use other artist’s/writer’s work to enter the event. All work must be solely yours. If someone calls you out for plagiarism, I will NOT be defending you, you’re on your own for that

Please, please, PLEASE, and I can NOT stress this enough, but absolutely no AI can be used for your submissions. Once again, all works must be unique and original. If your work requires AI, then it is NOT original. I will not reblog your work if i get the slightest hint of AI work, and believe me, I can tell

Please keep comments on other participants work friendly. Respect the other participant’s submissions for the event. If you do not like someone’s work for whatever reason — Block the user. I will not stand for any hate/bullying in other people’s post because their work did not meet your expectations. This also goes for spectators who will not be submitting work of their own.

Finally, have fun! This event is about showing love and creativity for the french bastard and his ginger himbo hubby. Bring out your creativity and your best suit!

Late submissions will still be accepted up to 3 days after the event is over!

‼️If you feel like another participant’s work is breaking the rules or is offensive towards you or anyone else, be sure to let me know so proper actions will be taken

📫The account’s inbox will be open for any questions or even ideas that you have in regards of the event!

💔I genuinely do apologize, I had truly intended to have this out a few days ago, but … things happen. I hope you are not too mad or upset with me

🤍 Can’t wait to see all your guy’s works next month, see you then!

@hetaliacalendar if you wouldn’t mind reblogging for a little signal boost pls 😭

[crimsonwritings]

Flames in our hearts - Prologue

Pairing: Cassian x female reader

Summary: Cassian and Y/N both have to let their partners go.

Warnings: angst, some kind of panic attacks

Words: 2.4k

A/N: It’s finally here! The first part of my firefighter Cassian fic. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t able to post this earlier but I was overthinking which resulted in a writers block. I’ll try to post the next parts more regularly from now on. Hope you enjoy!

Masterlist | Moodboard

Y/N´s POV:

“So this is it then.”

Four years ago I would have never believed that him and I would ever be in this situation. Sitting in our small town café, nothing but an untouched glass of water in front of me, because I was physically incapable of consuming anything right now. Him being placed in the seat opposite of me, staring at the wall, the table and the wall again. Anywhere to avoid my gaze.

It probably looked like a break up scene straight out of a movie. Even the weather seemed to play along, as the sky was filled with dark grey clouds, rain pouring down to the earth. If angels existed I imagined those raindrops to be their tears as they mourned over the pieces of my shattered relationship. I wanted them to drown my emotions until I wouldn’t feel any of this pain right now. And if it meant that I wouldn’t be able to feel anything ever again so be it. I couldn’t care less.

“Yeah. This is it,” he answered. I knew that this decision wasn’t easy for him, could hear it in his silent, shaking voice. How much time had we actually spent together? One third of our lives? First as friends, before it had turned into something more, something intimate - something vulnerable.

He had been my first everything and oh, how I had wanted him to be my last. The one and only, like those fairytales always swoon about. Some part of me still wanted him to be just that. But fairytales aren’t real and my teenage dreams had to concede their space in my head to the cruel realities of this world.

“It used to be so easy with us but now…it just doesn’t feel like it did at the beginning. You became so distant and I know that to an extent it’s my fault but I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s frustrating me. I can’t live like this anymore. And it wouldn’t be fair to you either.”

How generous of him. Breaking up with me to spare my feelings. I didn’t know why it caused a rumble of anger to drive through my body. Didn’t I feel the exact same thing? Wasn’t it me who had questioned our relationship over the past months?

At least he was able to set me free. I on the other hand felt like a snake, meandering around his body and pushing my fangs in his skin, even though I knew I would poison him with my insecurities. I just couldn’t let go.

Because that was my greatest fear. Being left by someone I loved, someone who was supposed to love me back. It had made me doubt him at some point, when he had disappointed me one to many times with such little things. Suddenly I hadn’t been able to see the good things anymore, only the bad, which had resulted in me emotionally distancing myself, snapping at him when he told me I was a fool for doing so.

And now here we were, in the middle of that small town café, knowing that we weren’t able to make each other happy anymore. One side being controlled by her fears, the other driven by frustration, annoyance maybe. I couldn’t even blame him for feeling this way. For I couldn’t stand myself either. What used to be a loving relationship became a downward spiral pretty fast.

I knew that this was right. That I had to let him go to hopefully find his happiness, even if it meant that he would end up with someone else. If she could appreciate everything he had to offer then he was hers to claim, not mine. But why did it feel so damn wrong? Why was the thought of somebody else living my dreams with him worse than what we had now?

The merciless feeling of my panic rising up consumed me whole. I knew it all to well. It always started with that lump in my throat, swelling on and on until I feared I couldn’t breath anymore. It then resulted in a gag, as if my body tried to get rid of it by throwing up. Meanwhile I could feel the tears lining up, threatening to spill but never doing so, not granting me that sort of relief. I could feel the familiar cold running over my skin, causing me to shiver. My hands were already shaking so hard I had to grab the chair beneath me, so nobody would notice.

Calm down Y/N. Don’t you dare let them see your weakness. Nobody wants to see it.

But no matter how many deep breaths I inhaled to calm myself down, it didn’t work.

I wasn’t strong enough for this. I couldn’t let him go. Instead I needed him to take me in his arms, soothing me that everything would be all right, that he had overreacted and that we would work on it. Like we had promised each other so many times before.

My voice trembled as I begged him, “Please! I will become the girl you fell in love with again! All I need is time!”

Something deep down in me protested. Questioned why I had to beg him to love me. Why it was so important for me to be loved by him.

I didn’t listen. All I could hear were his final words.

“Stop making this any harder than it already is. You assured me of this so many times but I can’t believe you anymore. And it wouldn’t matter anyway. My love for you is gone Y/N. I feel nothing…I’m sorry.”

Something inside of me shattered at his words. Maybe it was the hope I still had left. To mend this. To get out of this nightmare. But now there was nothing left. He had made his choice and I could do absolutely nothing about it.

I couldn’t stand it anymore. Neither the beat of my heart getting painfully fast nor my breath being so flat that I feared I would faint. The tears started to run down my cheeks - finally - but it caused embarrassment to flow through me as I felt the stares of the strangers around me, starring and judging.

I almost jumped up from my seat and stormed out of the cafe, away from the pity and the pain.

He didn’t try to stop me.

~*~

Cassian’s POV:

“Say that again.” His words came out in a gasp.

He didn’t know how they had ended down here. Only a few minutes ago he had felt as if he could touch the sun! Finally, after so many years of pining after it, his life had become perfect, giving him wings of jauntiness! But it seemed like he had gotten to close to the radiant heat of the burning star, for now it felt like those exact wings had caught fire, causing him to race down towards the ground, to the predict of a devastating crash.

She alone could save him now.

But instead of throwing him something to grab onto in his fall she definitively shredded his wings to pieces, robbing him of any chance to survive.

“It’s over Cassian. I’m breaking up with you.”

There were no tears in her eyes as she said it. No signs of doubt on her face. She was sure in her decision and seemed utterly cold about it. Like an ice queen she stood in front of him, wearing the mask she had always worn to protect herself. Every time she couldn’t stand the overwhelming emotions around her. Cassian couldn’t help but find it majestic, how she stood her ground, watching him slowly crumble in himself.

The shock must have been evident on his face, he was sure about it. He felt like he couldn’t move. He wanted to tear his eyes from her icy stare but no matter how hard he tried, his body wouldn’t allow him to. All he was capable of doing was holding on to the balcony railing of his apartment.

In the corner of his eye he saw the lights of the city he called his home. There was a musician playing on the streets somewhere, he could hear the happy melody in the distance. Usually he would have loved it. It all seemed like a mockery to him now.

“But…I don’t understand! I thought we were happy!”

As the realisation started to settle in he could feel the panic rising up. The ringing in his ears became louder and louder and he had to resist the urge to shut them with his hands, even though he knew that it wouldn’t help one bit. Otherwise he would have missed her next words.

“Happy?! Do you really think I’m happy with everyone trying to change me the whole time?”

There was anger in her eyes now, a little spark that could turn into a wildfire if he didn’t take care. He had seen it a million times already. That fiery anger that threatened to eat her alive. It always resulted in her sending the flames towards her opponents, mixed with nothing but cold, brutal calculation.

“You know that it’s true Cassian. They all want me to be that cheerful little girl who loves to go on family adventures and gets along with everybody and keeps quiet about all the things that go wrong with you all. But I’m not. I hate pretending that I like them. And I most certainly hate that they only see Feyre’s sister or your girlfriend in me. Especially Rhysand!”

“He doesn’t do that and you know it! All he is trying to do is to integrate you. And if you wouldn’t be so god damn stubborn about it you would see it!”

Something had switched in Cassian, he didn’t even realise it. All of a sudden the shock had turned into anger. He stepped towards her, fists clenched and eyes squinted.

She didn’t back down. Instead she stabbed her finger in his chest and bared her teeth, ready to fight back. “You’re only proving my point! You’re doing it again! Defending him! It’s always like this, you’re always on his side!”

“Can you blame me? He is the only family I have left! I owe him so much, hell we wouldn’t even live in this apartment without him!”

“Should I be thankful for this now? It’s only a reminder that we are completely dependent on him. All I did over the past years was trying to match his expectations. I really tried, for you! But I can’t do this anymore! I don’t even know who I am anymore!”

“So the only solution for you is to break up with me? Throwing me away when I’m not of use for you any longer?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Cassian.” She turned around and stormed into their shared bedroom, Cassian right on her heels. When he saw all of her stuff packed up in some suitcases the panic returned. He could feel his heart beating rapidly and he had to hold onto the door frame as he slightly stumbled at the sight.

“Where…where are you going?”

“Eris offered me to stay in his family’s summer house. He’ll pick me up in a thew minutes and you won’t follow me!”

She had planned this then. Had made her decision, when exactly? Days ago? Weeks ago? Leaving him, without even giving him the chance to explain himself or making things right with her. He would change if he needed to. All she had to do was talk to him, telling him what he could do better. Yet all of it wouldn’t lead to anything, because she had given up a long time ago.

What hurt the most though was the fact that she trusted another man more than she trusted him. Of course Eris would have offered to help her. That viper had tried to lure her in even before she had chosen Cassian. But why did she ran into his arms when Cassian was right here, willing to catch her like he had done so many times before?

When Nesta reached the door again, he stepped in front of her. He needed an answer. He needed to know if there was even the smallest chance of winning, should he fight for her.

„Tell me Nes, I won’t let you go otherwise. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t love me anymore.“

One last time she looked up to him with those beautiful steel blue eyes. He desperately searched for any sign of emotion in them. Hell, he would even take all of her anger again. At least this would mean that she still cared about him. But it seemed like she didn’t feel anything anymore as she made his nightmare come true.

„I don’t love you anymore. Goodbye Cassian.“

There it was, that final crash. He had hit the ground now, forced to watch her pass him and leave the apartment, not able to reach out for her, even though an inner voice screamed for him to hold her back.

It felt like an out of body experience. He could feel everything. The tears that ran down his cheeks. His knees giving in, causing him to sink to the ground against the wall. He could hear his sobs and pleas for her to come back. Yet everything was distant, covered under a blanket of devastating pain.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, when he finally came back to his senses. All he knew was that he had to stop her.

He got up on his wobbly legs and hustled out of the door on the floor of the apartment building screaming with everything his shaky voice could offer: „Nesta! NESTA!“.

But it was to late. She was gone. She had left him, like everyone else had done. He was all alone again.

When the old lady, who lived next door stepped out of her apartment at his screaming he gathered all his strength and made his way back into his own flat.

Entering the living room he saw a small black velvet box lying on the bookshelf. She hadn’t found it like he had planned. She hadn’t looked for it.

He could hear the box giggle at his misery, mocking him. He knew it was all in his head but he couldn’t stand it anyway. So, as the anger boiled up in him again, he grabbed the box, stepped out on the balcony - and with a yell he threw it into the river down below.

Tags: @hellodarling1357

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

[sunshinebingo]

The Angry Valkyrie

Gwyn is mad at Azriel. What did he do and how will he make up for it?

A Morning at the Berdara Household

Follow Gwyn, Azriel and their twins as they get ready for the day.

At Her Fingertips

Some dirty texts exchanged at the dinner table followed by smut, smut and more smut. - [smut]

Her Jealous Side

Ficlet where Azriel pushes Gwyn to admit that she is jealous.

Tell Me

Gwyn tells Azriel exactly what she wants him to do. - [smut]

Love is a losing game

What others thought was seven minutes in heaven for Azriel and Gwyn turned out to be seven minutes of confrontation about their breakup.

She is gone...

House of Wind gang/Gwynriel drabble - Cassian comes home to a sad Shadowsinger.

Cat and the Doggy

Fluffy ficlet of Gwyn and her daughter.

His Angel of Light

Ficlet of Gwyn and Azriel stargazing.

Good Girl

Gwyn experiences the pleasures of being blindfolded and bound by the Shadowsinger. [smut]

First Day

Gwyn and Azriel watch their twins take a new step in their lives.

Imagine...

Witnessing Love

Emerie watches Gwyn and Azriel, and thinks about her own (lack of) relationship.

Be home by midnight

Gwyn and Azriel stumble across Rhys as they leave for their date.

Stuck Together

Gwyn finds herself unable to move lest she disturbs a half asleep Azriel.

Two Idiots and a Bigger One

Cassian and Rhysand watch an interaction unfold between Azriel and Gwyn when the latter comes to see the shadowsinger while they are drinking together. Azriel has no idea what they find so funny about it. But they certainly find it hilarious. - Check out my Gwyn Week 2024 masterlist below for the 2nd part with the Valkyries

Of Scowls and Growls

A heated argument between Azriel and Gwyn turn into a smutty sort of reconciliation. [smut]

A tiny little something...

Finding Azriel

Gwyn looks for Azriel in the House of Wind after they have an argument.

Flaws

Azriel makes a list of Gwyn's flaws.

A writer's fantasy

Gwyn tries everything possible to put a stop to her writer's block, unbeknownst that her source of inspiration will appear right at her door.

✨Gwynriel Weeks 2023✨

Everything I posted for Gwynriel Weeks 2023. Some fics, a moodboard, and more Gwynriel fun stuff!

✨Gwyn Week 2023✨

Everything I posted for Gwyn Week 2023. Gwyn-centric so contains some stuff that are about Gwyn but not Gwynriel

✨Gwynriel Weeks 2024✨

Everything I posted for Gwynriel Weeks 2024. Fanfiction, moodboards, and more Gwynriel content!

✨Gwyn Week 2024✨

All the fanfics written for Gwyn Week 2024. Also include some things that are not Gwynriel

[callivich]

Just a reminder for anyone new or anyone who has been lurking:

I know it’s difficult coming into a new fandom but everyone in the Gallavich fandom on tumblr is very friendly and kind, so don’t feel nervous - just jump in and say hi.

Make an intro post and check the #gallavichintro tag to find fellow fans! Here’s the general Shameless version!

Like seriously just send a message or reply to a post. We’re here to have fun, the idea of new people is great because it means more engagement.

When I say people are nice, I mean it. I’ve been in so many different fandoms over 20+ years and this is genuinely the kindest group of people I’ve ever encountered online in a fandom space.

Give your blog an icon. People tend to assume that ones without are spam blogs and may block immediately. Here are some great icons you can use with credit: here / here / here

If you’d like a Gallavich banner for your blog, send me a message - I’d be so happy to make you one! I’ve got ones free to use here / here.

Please don’t steal gifs and repost them, here’s a great post explaining why and another one explaining why and how to use the gif search function! And another one explaining the gif search function.

Reblog content you enjoy and write in the tags or reply to the post - how much you liked something or if you have other thoughts…..creators love to hear this!

Use the tags. They’re the best way to get your posts noticed if you’re new- #gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #ianxmickey any or all of these will work. When you make a post, you should see a little grey box that says something like add tags to help people find your post, just type in there. (You don’t need to use the # symbol. Tumblr automatically does that.)

There are so many brilliant active communities that you can take part in - I’ve done a roundup post here & I will update it with new communities.

If you feel creative? Got for it. Don’t worry about what people think, just share your work. Write that fic or headcanon or meta, draw that art, create that gifset, design that aesthetic piece, share that playlist. Chances are that a lot of people will enjoy your work!

Don’t feel shy about promoting your work either - tag it with #gallavich & the tags mentioned above.

Recommend what you’ve enjoyed! There is no time limit on sharing links to fic, art, headcanons, gifsets, posts of any kind…..reblog/share what you love and keep sharing it. Whether it’s brand new or years old, sharing the work is great idea.

Go back and explore things. Older fics on ao3, gifsets and art from years past, moodboards and headcanons that are years old. None of these things have an expiration date. So reblog them, share them, let people experience them for the first time and allow people to enjoy them for the 2nd/3rd/4th time.

Comment!! It’s such an important thing to do in fandom. Whether it’s on new work or old work, whether you write long comments or just a keyboard smash and emojis - it’s great way to share love to creators, to support/encourage/inspire them and to get involved in fandom. Check out Ian and Mickey’s guide to commenting and other posts about commenting: here // here // here

Share your ideas. Whether it’s headcanons or meta or fics or art, share it. Feel free to explore your ideas. There’s always room for discussion, analysis and creativity.

If you see ask memes or tag games going around, take part! Or even reblog one of these games and tag some people you’d like to get to know better! Don’t feel intimidated, it’s always nice to be tagged.

Keeping reblogging posts. Not just once or twice but again and again. The queue is there for a reason. And each time you do? You’re sharing it with your dash.

Remember, pretty much everyone starts out as a lurker and when it comes to being creative - everyone starts at the beginning. Those writers and artists and creators that you are in awe of? They all started out at square one. Everyone practices and creates over and over again, that’s how it goes. The more you write or draw or create, the better you get. And fandom loves to see it.

Need ideas or inspiration? I’ve got lots and lots of prompts for you!

This is a relatively small-ish fandom but it’s active and there is nothing nicer than new people joining, so don’t hesitate - jump in. It’s so much fun and we’d love you to join us! 💖

If anyone has any tips or encouragement they’d like to share, please reply to this post! 💖

And if you have any questions about using tumblr, send me an ask!

[onyxmilk]

Could you make a headcanon or one shot of Kazuki Kurusu? And it would be of the reader waking up in the morning with Kazuki after ‘nightly activities’ last night. And kazuki would share kisses with the reader and kiss some marks he left behind, and then he’ll go make some breakfast for his family ☺️

I also wanted to say that I love the mini moodboards you have for each of the writing pieces 💜

Kazuki Kurusu x gn!Reader; "Morning After"

notes; i'm so sorry this took SO DAMN LONG!!! I went into writers block and then i got into scott pilgrim, but now im back into Japanese anime :D tw; Reader uses They/Them pronouns!, unedited, implied s3x, wc; 0.4k

The birds softly chirped outside of Kazuki's window, waking up the naturally light sleeper.

He groaned softly, rubbing his eye with his free hand and sighed as he opened his eyes fully.

Beside him was his partner, [YourName], and his heart was warm once more.

Last night wasn't their first time staying the night, but it was their first time going farther than just a heated make out.

He was beyond happy miri was a relatively heavy sleeper and Rei slept in the bathroom.

Realizing [YourName] was still sleeping, Kazuki softly chuckled before moving some hair out of their face.

He leaned over and gently placed a kiss against their cheek.

[YourName]'s face scrunched up at first before smiling softly and yawning.

They then slowly opened their eyes and their soft little smile grew a little bit more.

"Well, good morning." Kazuki would greet.

"Good morning, darling." [YourName] replied.

After staring at each other for a moment, [YourName] and Kazuki both chuckled.

[YourName] sat up, holding the sheet close to their bare ches.

This gave Kazuki a good look at the marks he had left on his partner's shoulders, making him smile but also feel a bit guilty all at once.

[YourName] softly jumped when they felt Kazuki lean up and softly kiss their shoulder, they looked over and gave Kazuki a confused look.

Kazuki then explained how he wanted to kiss every mark he left, as an apology to your body.

[YourName] just chuckled and shook their head, but allowed Kazuki to do as he pleased.

After softly kissing each mark and making sure his partner was ready, the two got up, showered, and then got dressed for the day.

[YourName] went to go wake Miri up while Kazuki went to go start on breakfast.

After about five minutes, [YourName] comes down the stairs with Miri of their hip who was still trying to wake up.

She would get set down on the couch which made Miri fight harder not to fall back to sleep.

Kazuki suggested to his daughter she go wake up Rei and that sent little Miri into excitement mode.

Miri shot up and ran to the bathroom, making both [YourName] and Kazuki laugh.

[YourName] stood at the kitchen island while Kazuki cooked, they watched as he carefully mixed each ingredient together and put it in the pan before moving on the next item.

[YourName] made their way over to their boyfriend, gently pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Kazuki was happier than the word sunshine to have [YourName].

[khruschevshoe]

OFMD Critique: Bad Faith, Fandom, and Respect

All right. You know what? Screw it. I saw one post I just cannot ignore anymore that encapsulated all of my problems with the fandom right now. Personal rant incoming.

I understand that there's a nuance to the discussion of season 2 of Our Flag Means Death, and that there are people going a little too far with both their critiques and their support of the show. But oh my God, I'm tired of being straw-manned and made fun of for legitimate critiques of the show.

I just used the block button on someone in this fandom for the first time. Some of you might think I'm overreacting for this, but I saw a post that I could not on any level stand. This person, who I will not name names of, because I'd rather just block them and never deal with their level of bad faith again, took their one legitimate criticism of those of us who critique the show, the back and forth on whether or not Izzy's death was homophobic or not, and used it as the first in a literal list of straw man critiques that no one I've read in the OFMD Critical tag has made (and I check it like once a day bc I like reading meta, sorry), proceeding to absolutely make fun of the legitimate critiques that people have of the show, parodying them in the worst possible ways. They took our legitimate critiques about everything from the sexist handling Zheng Yi Sao's character, the absolute ableism of the finale, the questionable optics of the handling of trauma, etc. and stretched them into things that they very much were not (two examples were that we were crying ableism bc of something to do with seagulls and that we thought the problem in the Stede&Zheng dynamic was the "emotional labor" involved).

Now I'm pretty sure this post was a joke. I *think* it was a joke. But how in the world am I supposed to feel comfortable in the main section of a fandom like this when the comments and replies to this post were full of people agreeing sincerely that this is what the critical section of the fandom is like? How am I supposed to feel when I just see people making fun of me for my analysis of the show? I love this show. I adore season 1 and I'm clearly still making fan related content (moodboards) for season 2 along with my critiques.

Sure, I vibe way more with fanfiction than the actual canon at this point, but I still genuinely engage with the show. And to have the critiques that I made in good faith, regarding issues that I sincerely care about such as ableism, sexism, homophobia, and the handling of trauma, made fun of and taken out of context and straw-manned to their extreme, makes me feel so absolutely unwelcome in this fandom.

Other than keeping up with the couple of fan series that I'm currently still reading, I don't know if I can stay in this fandom any longer. I can't say that I'm excited for the new season if this is the kind of response that any good faith critique of the show is going to get. I can't say that I feel safe or comfortable when there are this many people ready to dog pile on me for a critique I made with ACTUAL TEXTUAL EVIDENCE to back it up.

I would like to thank all the people who have been making excellent critiques of the show. Their meta-analysis is what got me into making my own critiques, which I was nervous about making in any other fandom. I don't think I've in any way tagged them all, but just a few I can remember off the top of my head. Go read their critiques/meta- it's really good!

@sky-fire-forever @carrymelikeimcute @blue-b-bro @bougiebutchbinch @treesofgreen @sixstepsaway @alex51324

And from the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who has engaged with my mood boards or my critiques or anything else that I've made, as well as the amazing writers and artists in this fandom (such as @ruecrown, @aletterinthenameofsanity, @fool-for-luv, and @possumsmushroom). You guys have kept me going with my love for the show and engaging with it for a while now. Despite the stuff that is making me take a step back now, I really did love this while it lasted! I'm still planning on making a few more mood boards, but other than that, I'm going to take a step back from engaging.

Hope this post can spread enough support/joy your way to counteract the ache I'm currently feeling!

Sincerely,

Ashley (aka @khruschevshoe)

[laurfilijames]

All week I told myself that on Sunday, I was going to write all day.

I opened my laptop up for the first time in two weeks. I haven't written a word since I finished editing Expensive and tried for over an hour to work on my series Like My Dreams.

I thought about it all week and have been so eager to continue it, only the words won't come.

I know it's not for lack of passion or wanting to; I think about this story (and all the other ones) constantly.

I've been trying to deny some feelings for a while, or chalk it up to getting too much in my own head, but today it's come down heavier than ever and what is ultimately responsible for blocking my creativity and turning my love for my stories from thoughts into actual sentences.

I'm lonely.

I've never felt so alone.

The Charlie fandom seems to be relatively non existent, or just extremely quiet.

I have no space. No where I fit in.

I'm on the outskirts, trying to find a spot, constantly seeing if there is a way I can have a place for my ideas, stories, and even friendship, and have it hold some value to the others I'm around.

The more I post on here, the less I feel seen.

Engagement on this platform has reduced drastically across the board, and it's effecting so many artists.

It's not about numbers. I'm sure some of you are probably thinking "your last fic has over 100 notes". Yeah. It does. Almost all of those notes are likes, and more than half the reblogs are my own.

What I'm seeking is engagement. Conversation. A likeness and kinship started by a common interest that blooms into simple conversations and thoughts shared.

Comparison is a bitch. I see so many people living the Tumblr life I wish to have. Asks, comments, reblogs of teasers and moodboards for upcoming fics screaming of excitement and praise and how eager they are to read it. People dropping everything they're doing to read the latest chapter of their friend's new fic.

I realize the many reasons why I'm in a different position than they are, but lately it's been screaming at me louder than ever that I'm lacking something meaningful or whatever I'm doing on here isn't enough.

I've tried creating a buzz around my stories. I am aware that most of the time I write for unpopular characters with a smaller fan base, so I set the bar lower but am still left feeling inadequate even when I write for the popular ones. Whenever I've shared snippets of WIPs in hopes to gain some excitement from my readers, it falls short. Usually it'll inspire me to keep going, to write better than ever and make this next fic The Best One that makes me so happy and excited to get out. (For Charlie, I'll say, and write something I'm so unbelievably proud of) and then sometimes it makes me wonder if I should bother continuing at all.

I know I am not owed anything by anyone and no one is obligated to read or comment or anything of the sort, and I am beyond grateful for the comments and support I do receive, and the friendships I've made, old and new.

I'm not exactly sure what I'm getting at here, I just needed to write it down and "talk" it out.

I've been battling the decision to continue writing but not share it. I don't want that to happen, because as much as I write these stories for myself, a lot of the fun of it comes from being able to share it with all of you.

Nothing dramatic is happening. I'm not leaving, and I will be writing again because I'm not at all done with what I have to say about these characters, I just felt this needed to be said and already feel a little lighter by sharing it.

Write your stories, comment on your favourite fics, scream with your mutuals about a photo or gif that inspired something in you, tell your writer friends and writers you've never spoken to but love their stories just how much you do... I promise it makes more of an impact than you know. 💗

[late-to-the-party-81]

Dark Protector

AN: So I’ve been a bit quiet lately - writer's block got me in a chokehold, just when I’ve signed up to a load of challenges. However, I have managed to get this fic to fit three of them;

Into an Alternate Juni-verse - Square C2 - Bogeyman - @buckybarnesevents

3 words for Caplan - “Help me, please!” - First bolded text. @caplanbuckybarnes

Bucky Barnes Bingo - Square K1 -”That wasn’t nice” - Second bolded text @buckybarnesbingo 

Beta’d by @indyluckycharlie - thank you so much!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics and moodboard by me.

Masterlist | Juni-verse Masterlist | BBB 2023 Masterlist

Summary: He’s always been there when you needed him the most; your Dark Protector. Anyone else would be afraid of him, but not you. You’re in love with the monster under the bed.

Relationship: Bogeyman Bucky Barnes x Reader

WC: 6.2k

CW: Minor descriptions of physical assault of a minor, attempted sexual assault of a minor, forced to watch pornography, mild horror elements, death of a minor OC, alcohol consumption, attempted sexual assault of an adult, smut (unprotected PinV, slight use of tentacles, mild bondage) angst, soft!dark! (ish) Bucky.

You don’t remember how old you were when you first realised he existed. If you could even call him a ‘he’. Did the monsters under the bed have gender?

Your friends in elementary school were all scared of the ones in their rooms, but not you, and you didn’t know why. 

You weren’t scared of the dark. 

You weren’t scared of the creaks and groans of your home. 

You weren’t scared of the gentle, but nameless, sound that emanated from under your bed.

Maybe it’s because you had something else to be scared of. Something tangible and real that didn’t just exist in the night, but existed in the day as well; your mom’s boyfriend.

Your dad left when you were very small and you didn’t have many memories of him; only the odd flash of a shadowy figure or a sound or a smell. You’d seen a few photographs, ones that your grandma had kept, knowing that one day you would be curious, but otherwise, the man was an enigma that your mother refused to talk about.

When you were eight she got a boyfriend - Darryl. He was tall, and lanky, with wonky teeth, greasy hair and a smoking habit. Even at that tender age you had no idea what your mom saw in him. He worked in construction, when he wasn’t being thrown off a job for being too lazy, or late, or just downright offensive to the other workers.

He got angry. 

A lot. 

He’d shout at your mom and slam doors, and if he saw you he’d try to kick you. If you accidentally disturbed him, which could be achieved just by breathing some days, he’d give you a smack around the head and scream at you until you were cowering in the corner. 

Then the jobs started to dry up, so Darryl started to drink. And drink. You tried to  find any excuse you could to be absent, doing your homework in the park on fine days and in the local library when it wasn’t, and if you had to be home, you’d tiptoe around in the hope he wouldn’t notice you.

Then, when  you turned 11, it all, somehow, got worse. Darryl was starting to look at you. He’d leer and make comments that you didn’t fully understand, but knew weren’t right. He’d be nice to you, something that was totally abnormal, and it put you on edge. He’d slur and give you compliments, but only about the way you looked. Whenever you tried to talk to your mom about it, she’d duck her head, look embarrassed and try to convince you he was just being a good step-dad. You didn’t believe her.

You didn’t know who to talk to, so you talked to the monster under your bed. For some reason you decided he was called Bucky. It came to you in a flash of inspiration, seemingly from nowhere, but you knew from a change in the hisses and rumbles from beneath you that he approved.

Bucky was a good listener - you didn’t know if this was a trait common to all bogeymen or whether you happened to just get a good one, but you poured out your worries and fears, always feeling lighter by the time you fell asleep. 

But for all that you felt lighter in the dark, that all went away in the light of day. Your mom got a new job, one that had her out of the house most evenings a week. Which meant it was just you and Darryl at home. Alone. It wasn’t long until it all came to a head.

You were channel surfing when he came and sat down next to you. His skinny thigh was pressed up against your own, too close, and you repressed a shudder. The smell of stale tobacco and cheap beer assaulted your nostrils, making you want to gag. His arm was slung over the back of the couch and although his hand wasn’t touching you, you knew his fingers were too close to your shoulder for your own comfort.

“I’ve got something we can watch together.”

He leered at you and plucked the remote from your fingers and apprehension prickled up your spine. With a few taps of his long, yellow-stained fingers, the channel changed and you couldn’t help but look up when you heard the strange noises - pants and grunts and moans - coming from the screen. 

You gasped in horror. There was a naked man and a naked woman on the screen. He was holding her down and her face was contorted in some expression you didn’t recognise, and he seemed to be hurting her, stabbing into her privates with his thingy.

You shot off the couch, barely hearing Darryl’s dark chuckle as you ran to your room, and threw the door shut. You virtually launched yourself onto your bed, and clutched your stuffed bear, Mr Snoops, to your chest. The images from the screen ran through your head, making bile rise in your throat. Why had Darryl shown you that? You didn’t understand. 

You didn’t know how much time passed while you tried to work things through in your head, but the sun had set outside, and the streetlamps threw shadows across your room.

Suddenly, your door opened, banging off the wall behind it. Darryl stood there, outlined in the light from the living room. He rarely came into your room, knowing that despite his recent change in attention to you, it was still off-limits to him.

“Why’re you hiding in here, girly? I thought you might like the film I showed you.”

You curled up smaller, alarm bells ringing in your brain.

“He was hurting her.”

He chuckled, the sound just as dark and ominous as earlier on.

“Nah, he weren’t. She was liking it. Most girls do.” 

He stepped closer and a waft of fresh whisky swirled around him.

“Bet you would, too. You’re getting real pretty now. Bet you thought I wouldn’t notice, but I did.”

You tried to back up, but the hard wall at your back stopped you. You didn’t quite know what he was talking about, but you knew enough to be scared. You were aware of an ominous rumble and hissing coming from under your bed, and a flicker of a dark, tentacle-like shapes in the corner of your vision.

A jingling noise brought your attention back to Darryl. He’d undone his belt and was working on his pants fly. There was a strange bulge in the fabric and you screwed your eyes shut.

“So you just lie back, and let me do this and it can be our secret, eh, girly? Might not be too nice this time, that’s the way of things, but I promise you’ll come to love it, just like that broad in the movie.”

You didn’t want him to stab you with his ‘thingy’. You didn’t care what he said - it looked painful, and your privates were your privates. The sounds from Bucky got louder and louder to your ears, despite the fact that Darryl seemed oblivious to them. It was as though your dearest monster was waiting for something.

When you felt your flimsy mattress dip under Darryl’s weight you let out a whispered plea into the darkness.

“Help me, please!”

The smells of tobacco and alcohol were hot on your face, and you felt tears start to roll down your cheeks, when in an instant it was all whisked away. 

Then, Darryl screamed and your eyes shot open. His weedy form was hanging in the air, dark tentacles of shadow surrounding him, wrapping up and down each limb. He was struggling, but the shadowy limbs seemed to be tightening and drawing him downwards and back towards your bed, heedless of the garbled sounds of distress coming from him.

You squeezed your eyes shut again, holding Mr Snoops so tight you thought his head might pop off, and tried to put the sounds of breaking bones out of your mind. Your bed started to shake, the shrieks loud in your ears and then there was silence. 

Well, almost. 

There was a new sound coming from beneath you, a satisfied purring noise, almost like that of your best friend Maisie’s cat. 

Opening one eye, you surveyed your room. Light still spilt in from both the hallway and the streetlights outside, and they showed that your room was empty. 

No Darryl.

Carefully you got up, and padding to your door, you peeked around the frame. You couldn’t see him or hear him. Feeling a bit braver you scurried across to the living room. The only evidence of your mom’s boyfriend was the empty beer bottles and cigarette butts in the ashtray.

You returned to your room, and settled gingerly on your bed, before leaning down and looking under it. Darkness and shadows looked back, but you felt a wave of smugness emanating from the depths.

“Thank you, Bucky.”

You went to sleep, once again, with lightness in your heart.

The next few days you had to comfort your mom as she ranted and raved about Darryl abandoning the pair of you, pretending to be sad, but smiling inside. Bucky wasn’t an imaginary friend. He was real, and he had protected you when you’d needed him most.

Life moved on, and your mom got over Darryl’s disappearance. You were glad, because after the initial heartache, she became a much happier person. Yes, her job still sucked, but she didn’t have to support a deadbeat boyfriend on the meagre wages, and she didn’t have to worry about being shouted or screamed at.

No-one else in town missed him either, most shrugging their shoulders and assuming he’d done a midnight flit. You were the only one who knew different.

Your confidence grew. You weren’t scared anymore, because you had Bucky to keep you safe in your home. 

As you reached your mid-teens you realised what it was that you’d been shown on the Tv screen that night, and any residual guilt you’d felt at Darryl’s demise evaporated with the full understanding of his intentions

“Thank you for saving me, Bucky. I’m so glad I have you.”

He hissed in pleasure and his tentacles appeared in the corner of your eye, evaporating quickly when you turned to try and look at him.

“I wish I could see you though.”

The hisses changed to rumbles, as though he was placating you, before bursting into his purring sound and soothing you to sleep.

Despite Bucky’s lack of normal ‘language’ you’d learnt to understand him. When you bought your first boyfriend home, a jock named Jack, and went to your room for a make-out session, you could almost feel the waves of disapproval coming from Bucky. He obviously wasn’t happy. When you opened your eyes a crack, part way through having Jack’s tongue down your throat, you saw the shadows shifting. In a panic about what might happen, you called your ‘date’ to an abrupt end, much to Jack’s annoyance, citing an upset stomach.

He broke up with you two days later, telling his buddies that you were ‘a frigid bitch’. Three weeks after that a girl in your class was found bloodied, bruised and assaulted at the far end of town. The police questioned her in the hospital but she feigned ignorance about what had happened to her, but the school grapevine had it that she’d last been seen on a date with Jack. You told Bucky about it, and the rumbles that emanated from him seemed to say “I told you he was no good.”

Your thoughts about Bucky’s intentions to protect you from harm were further clarified with your next boyfriend, Clint. He was a sweet, accident-prone young man, whose jokes often fell flat, but he was earnest in his adoration of you. It was with some trepidation that you invited him to your room, but although you heard a sad hiss from Bucky when you and Clint started to kiss, there were no ominous smoky tentacles in your peripheral vision and no angry grumbles. Still, you decided not to go ‘all the way’ at your house.

Eighteen came, and with it a new chapter of your life - college. You’d scored a combination of grants and scholarships to enable you to study English Literature. A big step forward, for sure, but also a big change. You told Bucky all about it. He was uncharacteristically silent about it all, as if contemplating what it would mean. 

It was only as you were unpacking in your small dorm room, laying your favourite blanket over your bed that realisation struck. 

Bucky was at home, under your childhood bed. 

The thought made you freeze where you were, a feeling of grief and loneliness filling your chest as you considered going through this period of your life without your closest confidant. 

However, Bucky surprised you again. As you settled into bed that night, your eyes drifting shut after an exhausting day, you heard it. A rumbling purr. Your eyes shot open, and there, in the edge of your vision were those familiar flickers and a smile of joy appeared on your face. 

“How did you get here, Bucky? Did you sneak in with my belongings? Or can you just pop up under any bed you choose?”

He didn’t respond with words – not that you expected any – but he did let out a sound akin to a chuckle, making you giggle in return. Once again you wished you could see him and make this friendship feel more real, at least to you. You hoped you felt real to him. You voiced your thoughts to him, but once again his response was vague, but with an undercurrent of sadness.

His presence buoyed you, and you threw yourself into college life. You worked hard, and you played… tentatively. Yes, you went to parties, and you went on dates, but your past still reminded you that men were to be distrusted more often than not. You often joked with Bucky that it would be easier if you were attracted to women. He chuckled back.

When you did have dates you always made sure to bring them to your dorm at least once, for what you had termed the ‘Bucky’ test. It was as though your tame bogeyman could intuit the intentions of men. If he hissed and writhed, you knew the guy was no good. If Bucky merely sulked like some kind of ousted puppy then you knew the guy was decent. But for all the decent ones you met, none of them seemed to tick all your boxes. You didn’t worry though - you were young and still had plenty of time to find ‘the one’.

You graduated with honours, causing your mom to shed a tear at your graduation ceremony, and you didn’t even need to discuss with her that you weren’t going to move back home. You’d managed to leave your little Podunk town behind, something she’d never been able to do, and she was happy for you.

When a well known publishing company offered you an internship you grabbed the opportunity with both hands. It was nothing glamorous – mainly taking notes, collecting coffee and getting up close and personal with the copy machine, but it was better than nothing. 

However, one thing you weren’t looking forward to was the commute from your dingy apartment, especially in the winter months. You should have known that Bucky would find a way to reassure you.

It was like a strange prickle down your spine when you first felt it, as though you were being watched. You whipped your head around in all directions, trying to work out where the sensation was coming from, but then you saw him, or rather, as much as you’d ever seen of him. The mix of smoke and shadows, just out of your eye line, made you immediately relax. It was amazing that your protector had found a way to watch over you, even outside of the confines of your bedroom. You weren’t sure how he did it, but you knew it was his presence that kept others away.

You were so used to him by now, used to his friendly noises and movements, that you’d almost forgotten how dangerous he could be to those who threatened you. The memories of what had happened to Darryl had dimmed over the intervening decade, and sometimes you wondered if you’d imagined the whole thing. 

You were out with friends from work for a drink, celebrating your birthday, when it happened. A group of you had set off straight from the office on Friday late afternoon when you all collectively agreed you were done for the day. Semicolons and em dashes could take a hike!

You all congregated at your local watering hole - a bougie little bar close to the office. You’d changed your skirt in the office washroom before heading out, and slicked on a bit more makeup, for that party feel. The atmosphere was buzzing, and after a glass and half of white wine, so were you. You and some of the other girls were dancing next to the old-style jukebox, while the guys perched on the high stools around the table you’d all claimed, sipping on beer bottles and shooting the shit.

“John likes you, you know.”

You whipped you heard around as Katie whisper-shouted in your ear to be heard over the music.

“What?”

“Walker. He likes you. If his obvious staring every time you walked past his desk wasn’t enough of a give away, he told Lemar, who let it slip to Kendra, who told me.”

You felt the heat rising in your cheeks and you turned your head to peek at John from under your lashes. The guy was tall, blonde and confident, one of the senior editors at the company. Lots of the girls fantasised about going home with him, wondering if he was as ‘apple pie’ as he looked, or whether he had some hidden ‘spiciness’. You never thought he’d look at you though. He could have his pick of any person he wanted.

“Me?” Your voice was a squeak and Katie giggled. 

“Yes, you, you silly goose. I don’t know why you find it hard to believe? Have you seen you? You’re so cute and sweet, and that smile of yours, honey.”

You batted at her playfully, feeling embarrassed by her friendly observations.

“Shush, you.”

She laughed, and kept dancing.

Another wine glass appeared, and then a fourth. For some people it would be nothing, but you weren’t used to drinking, and you hadn’t eaten, so by the time that Katie and the others were saying their good-byes, you were very drunk. 

Grabbing your bag and coat, you teetered towards the exit, but despite your concentration, your heel still skidded on something and your foot flew out from under you. However, before you hit the floor, a strong pair of hands grasped onto your upper arms from behind, and you were pulled against a firm chest. 

Dazed, and with slightly unfocused eyes, you looked up over your shoulder into the smiling, sea blue eyes of John Walker.

“Hey, watch your step, sweetheart, you coulda got hurt there.”

You should’ve said something classy and sophisticated, but your alcohol-addled brain didn’t want to cooperate. You blinked owlishly before your lips started working on their own.

“I almost fell. You saved me.”

To his credit, only a small chuckle made its way past his lips.

“Come on, let’s get you home.” 

John linked his arm into yours and led you out of the bar. The cold air hitting your face made you  dizzy and you gripped his arm with your free hand, praying for the world to stop spinning. Before you knew it he was steering you into a cab. When he prompted you, you gave the driver your address and then sank back into the seats, eyes closed. You could feel John’s hand gently holding yours, his thumb rubbing over your knuckles and you tamped down a giggle. You were also trying to ignore the annoying buzzing that you could hear. Or was it a hiss?

When the cab arrived at your apartment block, you threw John a dopey smile as he helped you out.

“Where are your keys, sweetheart? I think you need to go to bed.”

You hiccuped and rifled around in your bag, swaying on your feet as you pulled out the bunch with a shout of triumph. John plucked them from your fingers and opened the door, ushering you through. Kicking off your shoes haphazardly, you made your way to the couch, and flopped down into a lazy slouch.

John chuckled again. Closing your front door, he came and sat next to you. As he took hold of your hand, enclosing it in both of his,  you looked at him through one eye.

“Thank you for getting me home. I think I’m a bit drunk….” WIth your free hand you brought your thumb and forefinger together, leaving a small gap between them, to make your point and you giggled at your own hilarity.

“You’re cute.” He leaned forward, almost covering your body and dropped a kiss to your lips, taking you by surprise.

“Oh! Umm… that was unexpected.”

A strange smile appeared on John’s face.

“I don’t know why, sweet-thing. I know you like me and I like you.”

He kissed you again, but this time with more enthusiasm. Your arms were trapped against your chest between your two bodies, your head was swimming and your blood was pounding in your ears. 

No, that wasn’t right. 

It wasn’t a pounding noise, but more like an angry rumble crossed with hissing.

Hissing.

Bucky.

John! 

John who was kissing you, despite the fact that you were drunk and hadn’t been flirting with him or anything.

You pushed against him with your hands, but it was totally ineffectual, so you tore your mouth away from his.

“John, stop. Please.” 

He cocked his head to the side.

“Hey, don’t be like that. I thought we liked each other, and haven’t I been nice to you this evening?

His hands gripped your upper arms, cruelly, as he ducked back down again, his lips sucking at your neck, his teeth scraping your flesh, and in your ears the hissing grew louder.

“I’ll treat you right, sweetheart.”

You wiggled your body, trying to get free, eyes going wide at the feeling of John’s erection pressing into your stomach through his jeans.

“No. No! I don’t want this. You need to go.”

You managed to turn your head and bit down on the top of his ear, making him shout out and jump back to his feet, clutching his hand up to the side of his head.

“You fucking bitch!”

His face turned red and he took a step back towards you, anger and aggression easy to see in his expression as he loomed over your semi-prone form.. However, as he reached for you again, oily dark tentacles shot out from under your couch, coiling around him and lifting him into the air.

For a few moments you only felt relief, as once again Bucky came to save you when you needed him most, but the relief quickly faded when you remembered what your dearest monster was capable of. 

You tried to stand, but your legs were too wobbly and you sank to the floor instead, some of Bucky’s shadow limbs ghosting over your legs. You tried to grab hold of them, but your fingers went right through.

“Bucky! Stop! Let him go!”

You had to shout to hear yourself over John’s screaming, but loudest of all was Bucky’s growl of disagreement. You had to try again.

“Please! He’s not like Darryl. People will notice if he disappears.”  

You moved onto your hands and knees, crawling closer to where John was dangling and writhing in pain. Bucky’s limbs were more solid-looking here and you reached out tentatively and stroked down one. It rippled, reacting to your touch.

“Please.” This time you whispered your plea, and you touched him again, almost distracted from your goal by the sudden realisation that you were finally getting to touch your constant companion. There was a change to his growl, as if it were coming closer to you. Confused, you looked around and saw more of him sliding out from under the couch until it seemed that he’d completely left his cover. The mass of inky smoke started to coalesce in front of you, and as you watched in awe as it took on a different shape from the one you’d always known, one that appeared to get more and more human shaped by the second. Well, human shaped with some tentacles coming out of it’s back like some kind of Lovecraftian monster.

Bucky’s back was to you. All you could really make out was that he had black hair that brushed his broad shoulders. He walked forward, a little ungainly as though trying to work out how to balance on two legs. John was still struggling up in the air, held tight by the tentacles Bucky held out in front of himself, and was moving backwards as Bucky moved forwards, moving your would-be assailant across the room and away from you.

As if he wasn’t used to having hands - and you supposed he wasn’t - another tentacle shot out of Bucky’s back and wrapped around the handle for your front door. The others shook the almost hysterical man.

“Thhhat wasssssn’t nicccccccce.”

It was strange to hear him speak as you did, although it was clear it was something new for him, given the hissing sounds making up his speech. However, before you could really contemplate it, he was opening your door and hurling John out into the hallway. You tried to push yourself up to see if he was okay, but you were held back  by Bucky’s otherworldly limbs. 

You heard John scramble up and run towards the stairs whimpering and you let out a sigh of relief. You then turned your head and looked up into Bucky's terrifyingly beautiful face with eyes like ice chips and he pulled you closer. You were about to ask him the first of a million questions when he brought up a tentacle to cover your lips.

“Ssssssleep, liiiiittle one. Ssssssleep.”

And you did.

You awoke with a start, sitting up on your bed with your hand over your wildly beating heart. You were still in your going out clothes, but your head was pounding and your memories blurry.  You didn’t recall staggering to your bed, but the clock said that a few hours had passed since you left the bar, and…

The memories hit at once. Whipping your head around you looked across your room to the easy chair, and there he sat.

Bucky.

A human looking Bucky. The tentacles were gone now. He looked almost normal.

For a moment there was silence hanging between you both, and you took him all in. Those bright eyes, ringed with black, like he was trying to camouflage himself, the dark hair flying loose around his shoulders, and his black clothes that made him look like some kind of Special Ops person straight out of your favourite TV show. His expression was unreadable.

“Bucky?” You held out your hand toward him, still not quite believing your eyes.

He moved towards you, as swift and silent as the shadows he normally took the form of.

“Yesssss, liiittle one. I am here.”  The mattress dipped under his weight as he perched next to you. His two, larger hands enclosed the one you’d offered him. “I protect you?”

He tilted his head to the side, as if seeking your approval, and with your free hand you cupped his cheek. Your heart swelled when he pressed his face into your palm.

“Yes, you protected me. Like you always have. Thank you.” 

You leant forward and pressed your forehead against his, smiling to yourself as you heard him begin to purr, that familiar noise that had always made you feel safe.

“How are you here?” Your hand inched up to tangle in his hair, needing to feel more of him, the rough and the smooth. “How are you like this?”

“Becaussse you wissshed it. And I wisssshed it. My liiittle one. Alwaysss my liiittle one.”

And you knew it then, deep within yourself, that everything that had happened in your life from the moment you were first aware of his existence, had been leading you both to this point.

“It’s always been you, hasn’t it? Who I’ve been waiting for?” Both of you shifted slightly, your noses brushing against each other, your breath mingling.

“Been waiting. Human livesss are confusssing.” He moved one of his hands to rest on your waist, drawing your bodies that much closer together.

“Neither of us has to wait any longer. My Bucky. My protector.” You sighed into his mouth as your lips came together for the first time. 

It was soft to start, both of you gauging the other, a small part of you wondering what you were doing and also wondering how old Bucky actually was. Did it matter though? There was something between the two of you, always had been. A meeting of souls.

Desire flared quickly, and you surprised yourself by taking the initiative, practically crawling across the last remaining space between you to straddle his lap. You had his hair in both fists now, kissing him like you needed him to breathe, grinding down on his lap as the heat in your core threatened to overwhelm you.

Bucky moaned into your mouth, nipping at your lips, and then tangling his tongue with yours. His hands were everywhere, sliding up your top, up your skirt, caressing your face. That’s when you realised. It wasn’t just his hands - those were on your face. You were being touched everywhere else by his tentacles, the parts of him with which you were most familiar.

You looked down to find he was now naked, his human skin pale and juxtaposed to the darkness of his other limbs that were sprouting from his back and surrounding you. You reached down and pulled your top off over your head and you felt Bucky’s entire body rumble from the growl he let out. A thrill ran through you at the vocal sign of his need. Although you hadn’t been able to get a proper look at him, blocked by your own body, you could feel his human arousal pressing into your core through your panties.

“Help me get naked, Bucky. I don’t want anything between us.” 

His response was to kiss you passionately again and you were heedless of the ruination of your clothes as he ripped them from you. Your hands roamed his upper body, and while part of you wanted to take you time, and learn everything about him, your desperation was winning. You just needed him. Now! 

When his tentacles brushed across your breasts, you tore your lips from his to throw your head back in ecstasy. His human hands held onto the swell of your ass, helping you grind down on his length, covering him in your arousal. This time when you peeked down you could see the tip of his cock poking out from between the folds of your pussy and you couldn’t wait any longer.

“Now, Bucky. Please. I need you. I need you to fuck me!”

“Yessss!”

He grinned at you, almost playful, almost innocent, but then he was tipping you onto your back and caging you to the mattress with his body, tentacles arcing out of him and cutting most of the light. His eyes narrowed, predatorily, before two of his limbs gently snaked down to clasp your wrists, drawing your arms above your head. You didn’t resist - you wanted it, wanted him to claim you, finally.

His hands and tentacles moved your legs up, bending them at the knees so you were open and bared before him. You could see his cock, heavy and thick between his legs, waiting to be engulfed by your warm heat and you shifted your hips in need.

“Please! Don’t make me beg. Please, don’t make me….” Your whispered words were cut off by a scream of pleasure as he thrust into you. He was so big, and you felt so full. It was heaven.

Then, before you could even plead with him further he started to move with long gentle strokes, slowly making way for more and more of him, until his hips were flush with your thighs and your restrained hands were scrabbling at the pillow under your head as you just felt everything.

“My perrrfffect liiiiittle one.”

His cock seemed to be moulded to perfectly fit you, the bulbous head of it rubbing that sweet spot just right. One of his shadowy appendages slipped between you, rubbing across your engorged clit and pleasure jolted through you.

“Oh fuck! I’m gonna cum! Bucky! I’m gonna cum!”

Your eyes rolled back in your head as your body convulsed under his erotic onslaught. Every nerve ending felt over sensitive as Bucky used the  non-human parts of his body to touch you everywhere he could. Tentacles slid through your slick folds either side of his cock as he continued to fuck you, harder and harder. Others stroked your face, your breasts, your legs and you’d never felt so alive. It felt as though you’d barely come down from your high before you felt another approaching.  

Bucky held himself over you, on his arms, his hair falling around his face like a shroud. He continued to kiss and nibble at your mouth and jaw and neck. He seemed almost incapable of human speech now, just letting out pleasured hisses and purrs as he sank over and over into your wet heat. Your walls clutched at him, like they never wanted to let him go.

“Bucky. Gonna cum again. Want you to cum with me. I want to feel you.”

He nodded against your neck, before sucking on the delicate flesh, marking it. He tilted your hips, somehow plunging deeper into your pussy, and continued to caress you everywhere he could. 

You wiggled your hands, desperate now to touch him, and as if he could read your mind, your shadowy bonds receded, allowing your arms to move to his shoulder, your fingers curling so that your nails could dig at his back.

Bucky lifted his head then, his startling blue eyes boring into yours before he smashed his lips against yours one more time, his hips stuttering. You swallowed his screech of ecstasy before responding in kind with your own as you felt him pulse inside you, flooding you with the warmth of his cum. You spasmed around him, the sensation sending you into a state of euphoria, as wave after wave crashed over you.

When you returned to the world, you were laying on your side, your head on Bucky’s chest as he purred and stroked up and down your spine. You lifted your head and smiled at him, heart soaring as he smiled back.

“I still can’t believe this is real. How am I not dreaming?”

“I knew that I would beeee able to beeecome human for you at the riiight tiiime. I wassss told it would happen.”

You cocked your head at him.

“Someone told you it could happen? Who? That means it has happened before?”

He dropped a kiss on your forehead with an enigmatic smile, before looking out of the window. The sun was rising on a new day, and where it was shining in through the crack in your curtains, a shaft of light fell across the bed. Right over Bucky’s leg, which appeared to have partially disappeared.

You furrowed your brow in confusion and slight panic.

“What’s happening? Where is your leg?”

“Don’t worry. I will be back with the ssshhadowsss, liiiittle one.”

You looked on in horror as more and more of him seemed to dissolve as the light spread and increased.

“Bucky!”

No, this couldn’t be happening, he couldn’t be leaving you now!

“Alwaysss in the ssshhadowsss. Alwaysss protecting you.”

Your hands were passing straight through his body, only his head and a few wispy tentacles remained.

“Like your father protectsss your mother. He told meee.”

You froze, unsure what to say. Your father? The shadowy man in the old photos? 

Realisation hit you and your eyes went wide, seeking Bucky’s only to realise they were the last part of him remaining, before they too disappeared.

You sat in stunned silence, naked on your dishevelled bed and tried to make sense of the - not one, but two - life-altering things that had happened. Not only had your non-corporeal companion become flesh and blood, albeit temporarily, he’d also implied that your father was the same type of being.

All you could do was await the coming of the shadows and his return.

Tag list: @jobean12-blog @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky @tuiccim @yarnforbrains @sidepartskinnyjeans @flordeamatista @krissy25 @bodeckersdiamonddoll @goldylions @luxeavenger @wheezy-stucky @doasyoudesireandlive @chemtrails-club @seitmai @talia-rumlow @peaches1958 @pono-pura-vida @writing-for-marvel

[deadghosy]

⏤͟͟͞͞✰WELCOME TO MY BLOG✰⏤͟͟͞͞

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐎 || 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐈 𝐖𝐎𝐍’𝐓 𝐃𝐎

Anon list. Moodboards list. The Black Phone 2022 Masterlist. Hazbin Hotel Masterlist. Slytherin boys masterlist/2nd Masterlist Monstober

DC acc: @nosyrobin

Requests are open/closed. Please request through inbox or message. Be specific! Comments will not work as I don’t look through them much. Don’t feel as I’m ignoring your request as I’m either making my own work or I’m doing other requests. Please be patient!

I appreciate reblogs, comments, and such as likes. DNI my blog if you are homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, and all those things above. I don’t appreciate those type of people at all.

MENTAL NOTE: if anyone is stealing my work, copying it onto Wattpad or any matters like how they did when I wrote for the black phone. Please contact me. I will need to know who.

ᯓ★ ABOUT ME ᯓ★

Hello, I am Will! I go either by Ghost or just Will. Either of those names that I am comfortable with. And honestly im just here to write for fun and write for certain fandoms I feel like writing for. I am a phone writer, so my thumbs are sometimes dying.

I am 16 and African American/Black. I love making new friends/mutuals and also finding cool writers to follow. You can dm me if you wanna talk or just inbox me anything. But if it’s weird then I will block you or just delete your ask.

I have adhd and glasses. I am indeed on Wattpad, Quotev, & here as well. But im inactive of writing on Wattpad and Quotev. I’m a night owl, I hate mornings if I’m awaken by something unexpected. I am an Augest Leo, a Gryffindor + Hufflepuff, I’m also a ISTP and my timezone is Chicago GMT-5.

Any pronouns, but my preferred pronouns are he/him and they/them

I am in many fandoms and game fandoms that I know of.

[jolalibrary]

Hi Jo, I’m really late I know, but I feel I’ve missed something. You and several other writers I follow have migrated to posting new fic only on AO3. It seems to have been several people at once, so I was wondering if something happened across fandom spaces or if it’s just a personal choice. Obviously you’re under no obligation to answer, but if you’re comfortable sharing, I was wondering why. Hope you’re doing real well. Cheers!

hi anon!!! I don’t really want to speak on other people, or drag up things but something did happen and I’m happy to talk about it privately but not publicly. (I know you sent a follow up saying I didn’t have to, but if you have questions, I always think others will too).

for me, if I’m laying all my cards out on the table, I’d been feeling like either moving away or changing things up would be good for me for a while? I’d been applying a lot of pressure to myself, I felt like a lot of guilt that I’d be writing things and posting, but not nurturing the community I loved to be a part of. I felt a lot of weirdness about replying to reblogs (not because I don’t want to reply, but that I do and I feared blocking the feed up, especially when realising that others seeing all the lovely thing we’re making them feel bad). a lot of this pressure is self-inflicted, but some does come from loving places, and it was becoming harder for me to dial that out and focus on what made me happy.

another things, I want to do more things — create fun ways for people to come together. I wanted my inbox to not instantly get buried when I mass replied because I was reblogging lots. I wanted to reblog gifsets and moodboards again. and while I ADORE writing, posting on tumblr wasn’t something I grew up with, I grew up in the depths of FFN and AO3, so I’ve always been more comfortable with that balance. and when push came to shove, it felt simple for me to split my world again. I can be here, chatty, making moodboards or asking random questions, hell even shooting out a “can you imagine”. but my longer things (one shots, series) can go on there and IF people did fancy still reading me (zero pressure) that option is there for things over there, and I provide the link here so people will still know (and I’ll reblog that notification to @fakejolapeno from now on) but if people don’t want to, that’s completely okay too. this is a choice I’ve made because ultimately it’ll make me happier and a better writer then too. it’ll also be nicer for series, as people can bookmark and get notified and we can comment etc.

especially as I’m planning some longer series (DMY length + longer, maybe) it’ll be nice to have those there.

for others, this might be for different reasons and that’s their story to tell. but I hope this has sorta explained things 🩷

please feel free to come off anon and slip into my DMs (hahah) and we can 100% continue this! big love, jo