#i made this for a friend and now its my most popular playlist

[shootwithheart]

Hey Hawkeye #1 : Young Blood [a curated Spotify Playlist]

// Young Blood - Noah Kahan // The Common Man - Delinquent Habits // Bows & Arrows - Kaiser Chiefs // D is for Dangerous - Arctic Monkeys // All Over - CRUISR // Do the Panic - Phantom Planet // Keepin’ Our Eyes Out - Fitz and the Tantrums // Fight For You - I Fight Dragons // Lisztomania - Phoenix // Concussion - House of Lords // Broken Leg - Bluejuice // Salt - Bad Suns // Little Lion Man - Tonight Alive // Last Night I Dreamt... - The Wombats // Shoestrings - AWOLNATION // Never Give Up On Me - MisterWives // My Hero - Foo Fighters // Keeping You Alive - Gossip // Hawkeye - Original Mix - Troste //

Runtime: 1hr, 9min

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

My Top 10 Fics Of 2023

So, because it is the 'wrapped' time of year where everyone looks back on their year through playlists and other types of stats - I thought that I would look back on my year through something completely nonobjective and based on exactly 0 data - my favourite fics I have written this year that are based completely on my personal enjoyment of them.

Last year, I did something similar to this where I counted down the top ten fics based completely on data - how many notes each fic had gotten on tumblr. But most of the posts were shorter fics that I hadn't spent a lot of time working on that I wasn't very proud of. (Like the fact that my current most popular fanfic on my sideblog for fanfiction is the shortest in word count.) So I have decided to go over the fics that are the most popular in my heart - countdown style.

This year I have written 39 different fics and I have written over 395,000 words, and these are my favourite fics that I have written.

Honorable Mentions:

Black Suit - Emily Prentiss x Fem!Reader (2,900 words). One of the most well-rounded fics I have written in such a short word count. And just - look at her.

My Bleeding Heart - Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader (3,400 words). I have never used Death Eaters as the basis for angst in a fic and I had so much fun with it. Plus the kidfic fluff at the end was really fun too.

IFHY (I Fucking Hate You) - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader (8,100 words). So @holy-minseok made a post about how there isn't enough fics with reader characters that aren't nice and sweet and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. Because I have so many fics with rude, toxic readers and this is absolutely one of them. This reader is a Grade A Bitch and that's a huge reason why I had so much fun writing it.

Better Than Sleeping - Jason Todd x Fem!Reader (5,300 words). This is some of the best quality smut I have written this year, hands down.

The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (8,200 words). I love writing fics based on specific episodes of a show, and this definitely helped to fulfil my whump quota for the year.

Sweet Revenge - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader (16,200 words). This is a fic that definitely converted me from a hardcore Abby girl into an Ellie girl. I am very proud of it. (And eventually I became an EllAbs girl, as god intended.)

Free Use Day - Poly!OG!Titans x Fem!Reader (14,300 words). This is probably my most epic and honorable of the honorable mentions. This is the first time in years that I have written such a long pwp, and it's written about some of my ult favs. So I fucking love it. (It came so, so close to making the top ten.)

(Now, onto the top ten.)

The Top Ten:

10. Dreaming Of You - Gar Logan x Fem!Mute!Reader (31,300 words)

You and Gar have been best friends for a long time. Nothing could disrupt the harmony of such a perfect friendship. Nothing except maybe… your usually predictable powers going haywire and somehow showing you all of his heated daydreams about you. But he couldn’t possibly have romantic feelings for you. He couldn’t possibly want anything more than your close platonic friendship and the occasional steamy fantasy. Right? Gar Logan x Fem!Mute!Powered!Reader. Best Friends to Lovers. Smut and (Slight) Angst. Set during Season 2.

At first I wasn't even sure if I should put this one on the list, because it's technically a re-post, but I was like fuck it, I make the rules here. And the reason it's at 10 is because technically I wrote most of this in 2021 originally (though it feels like longer ago than that omg), but this year I heavily updated the fic, including writing some new scenes for it that flesh it out very nicely. To me, this is everything a good re-post should be. It cleans up what was already there and amazing about the fic and it enhances it so much.

I loved the concept of this fic from its core, and now I get to be so, so proud of the way I have enhanced it years later. To me, this will always be my core Gar fic (as much as I will always write more for him) - and it is something I am truly, genuinely proud of. If you love Gar and you love smutty fantasies involving him, I highly recommend checking this fic out.

9. No Brainer - Derek Cho x Fem!Reader x Melanie Cross (Mayhem (2017)) (7,100 words)

When the ID-7 Virus, aka the Red Eye Virus hits Towers and Smythe Consulting, it throws the entire office building into chaos. With a mandatory quarantine from the CDC in action, that chaos builds in on itself, and somehow, you, Derek, and Melanie get everything that you want. aka You have something Derek and Melanie need. Derek and Melanie have something you want. You all agree to make an exchange, and everyone ends up more than happy. Derek Cho (Steven Yeun) x Fem!Reader x Melanie Cross (Samara Weaving). Co-Works to Lovers. Smut. Based on the film Mayhem from 2017.

This is one of my personal favourite fics of mine that I believe very few people following me have ever read. I absolutely love writing fics based on random one-off horror movies - I have way more in my drafts, and one of my goals for 2024 is to complete and post more of them. But one night I was laying in bed and I randomly watched this film because I knew Steven Yeun was in it. I had seen a lot of clips of him covered in blood and yelling, and I found him really hot in those clips, so I knew that I would enjoy the film. And I absolutely fucking did. Not just based on his hotness, but just - the entire film was so, so enjoyable.

Also, the ID-7 Virus, a fictional sickness that lowers your inhibitions (something that is shown in the film to work like sex pollen) is the perfect basis for a fic. So I literally started writing this on my phone before I had even finished watching the film. And I posted it a few days later. I think it's just pure fun. One of my favourite things to write about is a healthy combination of horror and sex, and this is definitely toeing the line perfectly in my opinion. If you haven't seen the film, I highly recommend it - watch it, and then come back and read this fic.

8. My Heart Is The Worst Kind Of Weapon - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader (9,600 words)

Ellie confronts your abuser, and after years of torment, you finally feel free. Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader. Strangers to Lovers. Hurt and Comfort.

This is a fic that is very close to my heart. Not only is named after a tragically underrated Fall Out Boy B-Side, one of my favourite songs ever, but it is a fic about conquering the abuse of a family member - and when I wrote this, it was coming from a place of the utmost sincerity.

I am someone who has experienced abuse from a family member, and it felt so entirely empowering to write this - to write about someone coming to your rescue so honestly. Someone rescuing you out of pure want, not because it's an obligation or a burden. But because they are compelled by their own morals and they feel that your abuse is a cruel injustice against the world. This and the companion fic I wrote for Abby with a similar storyline are two of the most important fics that I have written this year.

7. Ghosting - Mike Schmidt x Fem!Reader (3,700 words)

Mike has been in love with you for as long as he can remember. For about as long as the two of you have been best friends. He always thought he would have more time to work up to confessing those big, dangerous feelings for you - until something more dangerous swooped in and stole any time he had left with you. Mike Schmidt x Fem!Reader. Star-Crossed Lovers. Pure Angst. Set during the events of the movie (and features spoilers for the plot).

I feel like this list would be incomplete if I didn't pick at least one of the FNAF fics that I wrote (and two of them ended up on here). With how much it was delayed, it was actually wild to see the FNAF Movie actually come to life before our very eyes, and it was amazing to actually write some fics about it. This is the first time (in a very long time) that I have written pure angst with no sense of fluff at the ending, and it was actually so much fun - it's fun to give into the darker side of a fic, and to write about the most torturous human emotions with absolutely no relief.

Also, I think dying in someone's arms (especially holding your lover or your would-be lover) is such a compelling trope and I loved writing about it. This was so much fun for me to write, and it was something so interesting to explore aside from the usual smut that I write.

6. From Your Lips - Jennifer Jareau x GN!Reader (3,000 words)

After JJ is attacked by dogs on the Hankle farm, everyone is busy worrying about Reid’s missing status, but you take the time to check on JJ and try your best to calm her flustered mind. Jennifer Jareau x Gender Neutral Reader. Friends with Benefits. Smut and Angst. Set during Season 2, Episode 15.

This year, I had another large foray into the Criminal Minds fandom, and I wrote a JJ fic for the first time. And just in general, I am so proud of this fic. I think even for a short fic, it has such a great essence - again, I love setting fics during specific episodes, and I found it so fun to play around with the religious imagery and the religious themes already in this episode, as well as the imagery of rabid dogs.

To me, this is what truly makes fanfiction great - taking details of the canon, chewing them up like bubblegum and then adding something else in to make them your own. I had so much fun writing this fic, 10/10.

5. Love From The Other Side (aka The Golf Club Fic) - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader (5,600 words)

Abby kills the man that has been haunting your nightmares for years. You find it only fitting to give her a proper reward. Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut. Set during The Last of Us Part II. (aka - the fic where Abby fucks the reader's pussy with the golf club that she used to kill Joel.)

So, as you will notice with this fic and the next one, 2023 was the year I truly said fuck it. There used to be a time when I was afraid to admit my weirder kinks and fantasies (like, I used to be afraid to even say that I read A/B/O), but then I realized that this is the freak-nasty website. And way too many people are shy. So I must be the one to provide the freak-nasty fics.

This is a fic I had in mind since the very first time I watched TLOU2 gameplay. And originally, it was going to be a simple, purely pornopraphic fic about Abby fucking the reader with the golf club - but as I was writing it, it turned into something that I find oddly beautiful. And (again, just like with the next fic) I find that writing about kinks in long-term relationships, especially the kind of relationships that have come to be co-dependent - it's like writing this toxic, cathartic poetry.

It's writing about two people who need each other but can be so horrible for each other - and it is one of my favourite things to write about because it's so damn interesting. This was a slay, and generally awesome because it was getting out an idea that's been in my head for years.

4. Damn The Man, Save The Empire - Vanessa Shelly x GN!Reader (6,100 words)

Vanessa has always taken care of you. Since the two of you were kids, she has put her neck on the line for you, and you rarely knew how to return that epic kindness. One night, while both of you are raw and on-edge, the dark cloud of your strange past looming over both of you nearly swallows both of you whole - and once again, Vanessa is right there, taking care of you. (Dark)Dom!Vanessa Shelly x Sub!Gender Neutral Reader. Toxic Co-Dependent Relationship. Smut and Angst. Takes place before the main timeline of the film (features spoilers for the movie).

Again, like I said with the previous fic - this was one of my favourite fics to write because it is so delightfully unhinged. I really enjoy exploring toxic relationships through fiction because - for one, writing healthy, functioning relationships is not always interesting. And there is something so beautifully dark and poetic about writing two people who have grown into each other like twisted tree branches and need each other, but are so bad for each other.

And this year I have been exploring gender neutral smut a lot more. I used to always write fem reader smut as my default, but I have been having a lot of fun with the creativity of writing smut without describing the reader's body in detail. I love coming up with metaphors and describing around the body parts. I find it to be a fun creative challenge. Anyway - this was a lot of fun to write, and I highly recommend it if you enjoy reading darker fics.

3. Lessons For A Genius (Lesson One) - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (17,200 words)

What could a certified genius possibly have to learn from someone like you? Turns out - a hell of a lot.  And the real ‘teaching’ started when your graphic explanations of slang toward Spencer for the sheer shock value of it turned into something a lot more… hands on.  Sub!Spencer Reid x (BAU)Dom!Fem!Reader. Co-Workers to Friends with Benefits. Smut. Set during early Season 2.

I feel like it would be a miss to make this list without mentioning a fic that I obsessed over for two weeks straight - a fic that drove me insane in the best way. Of course, there is also the sequel, but I personally prefer the first lesson. This fic has been brewing in my mind for a very long time, because it is painfully obvious to me that Spencer (in the early seasons) is an awkward virgin, and I have always wanted to ruin him.

This fic is a lot of my fantasies brought to life, and I feel like it's a really masterful painting of those fantasies - for once, without overly focusing on the murder mystery aspect of Criminal Minds fanfiction (which I have a tendency to get distracted by). I am really, really proud of this fic, and I know you guys enjoyed it. It is definitely a highlight of my writing this year.

2. Emergency Contact - Jason Todd x GN!Reader (10,500 words)

After Jason miraculously comes home from his brush with Deathstroke, you’re both feeling it in very different ways. You have an unexpected physical wound from the battle, and he has many (very expected) emotional wounds. You help each other heal. Even if it’s very stubborn on both your parts. Jason Todd x GN!Powered!Reader. Enemies/FWB to Lovers. Angst and Hurt/Comfort. (Slight Smut). Set during Season 2, Episode 5.

This is a fic I have talked about a lot recently, because I have been working on the sequel. (I was hoping to get the sequel finished and posted before the end of December, but it's gonna be a longer fic, so it's looking like it's gonna be one of the first fics of January instead.) Anyway - to me, this is by far one of my best fics and one of my most important fics of 2023. This was battling for the top spot.

But even if it's second place, I am so incredibly proud of this fic. I think it's beautifully written, I am incredibly proud of the literary references I worked in with The Great Gatsby - especially because I feel like Jason would be the type to read Gatsby and compare himself to someone tragic and doomed like Gatsby (he would soo compare himself to Gatsby, especially because he was also a poor kid who was randomly sponsored by a rich man who saw potential in him). Overall, I just had a very distinct vision when writing the fic, and that vision came to life. And I really, really hope that my vision comes to life in the sequel too.

1. King For A Day - Poly!Golden Trio x Fem!Reader (22,400 words) 

You have always had a special relationship with Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and the one and only Harry Potter. When you set out to help them find and destroy Lord Voldemort’s Horcruxes, it seems that your intimate knowledge of them is the one thing keeping them together - until the unique dynamic shifts, thanks to one of those pesky pieces of dark magic. Angry voices carry, and it turns out - moans of pleasure do too. Poly!Golden Trio x Fem!Reader (Fem!Reader x Harry Potter x Ron Weasley x Hermione Granger). FWB to Poly Lovers. Smut (with a slight bit of Angst). Set during Deathly Hallows.

And finally, we get to my favourite fic of the year!!

So, I'm gonna be honest, a huge reason that this fic gets the top slot is because of my nostalgia for Harry Potter. This year was the first time in a long time that I have written Harry Potter fanfiction, and it felt like a reawakening of my soul. I was genuinely happy, and I was spending time enjoying concepts and characters that I have not thought about for a long time.

This fic in particular, I feel like I have been working on it for years in my mind. This fic is a culmination of all my thoughts about these characters, all my time in the Harry Potter fandom, and generally, I am so, so proud of it. I am proud that my love for Harry Potter has come to fruition in this form - a poly smut fic, something that is just so me.

Overall - I had such a great year chasing fic ideas that make me happy, despite the popularity of the characters or the fandoms, and I encourage you guys to spend 2024 doing the same. Cheers!

[wildemaven]

until now, until you : part one | javier peña

Pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

Summary: You meet a handsome stranger in a bar, both of you agreeing on certain terms as the evening goes on— no names, no strings attached, no commitments. What could go wrong— or right?

WC: 4020

Warnings: 18+ Blog: Smoking, Alcohol consumption, heavy flirting, smut!!, fingering, protected p in v, nipple play, consent is sexy, reader has zero descriptive features

A/N: I’m deranged and don’t know what happened with this. But I love it and I’m so excited to share more!! Big big thanks to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for continuously listening to this wildness with Javi and correcting all of my mistakes!!

Series Masterlist / Playlist / Main Masterlist

The dimly lit bar wasn’t as crowded as you would have thought for a Saturday night. Its revolving variety of music and drinks paired with the ostentatious haze that accompanied the flicker of candles decorating the tables, it made the perfect backdrop to unwind and people watch. 

From your seat at the bar, you had a great view of the somewhat upscale space. Cushioned high back leather chairs lined the cherry oak bar top, a few chairs provided comfort for a few guests as they faced the array of liquor bottles, watching the bartenders move about mixing elaborate cocktails when requested. Semi-circular booths covered in a rich velvety green fabric lined the opposite wall, each table reserved by a group of ecstatic friends enjoying a small celebration or couples seeking a private spot to lounge in close quarters. 

Your eyes occasionally scanned the room as you sipped the lemony concoction that was recently placed in front of you, the bartender insisting it was a popular drink among regulars, observing the quiet conversations and unfamiliar faces, contemplating over how your evening had turned from a blind date with zero promise of a future, to you now sitting alone in a bar. 

The night was still young when your date and you had come to the conclusion early on that there was zero compatibility between you two. Not wanting your evening or your outfit to go to waste, letting your stilettos do the thinking and guide you to the nearest place in hopes to turn your night around. 

Every so often you find yourself fixated on the handsome man sitting two chairs from your seat, dark chestnut hair styled with some care, a perfectly trimmed mustache framed his upper lip— the perfect addition to his devastatingly gorgeous features. 

His gaze was heavily focused on the amber liquid, whiskey if you had to guess, that he swirled around in the crystal glass. 

In between his own sipping, he’d take a drag off of his lit cigarette. His plush lips wrapped around the tiny tobacco stick with such ease. You were mesmerized by the way his cheeks sucked in with each pull, accentuating his sharp cheekbones. He seems like a seasoned smoker, letting the smoke ruminate through his airways before tilting his head back and blowing the vapor through his gorgeous pursed lips, making an effort to keep it from settling around those sitting within close proximity to him. 

You had clocked him pretty quickly on his arrival, the crisp Texas evening air billowing through the room as the heavy wooden door swung closed the second he stepped into the bar. Your attention was captured by the unfussiness of this mysterious man, dressed in dark blue jeans and a red button up— an attire meant for a more casual setting, but he looked like he was seeking something more than a dive bar could offer. 

He had sauntered his way up to the counter in the most Texas way possible, the heels of his palms resting on the edge of the bar counter as he eased himself into the unoccupied chair two seats over. Your breath catching when his eyes lock with yours, offering a smile and a nod before taking a seat and signaling for the bartender. 

Majority of your evening was spent stealing brief glances, memorizing every little detail of his beautiful face, while trying to muster up the strength to have a conversation with him. You weren’t looking for anything serious, but he definitely seemed like he could potentially liven up the rest of your evening— your brain muddled with a deep attraction and desire to be closer to this man.  

A streak of adrenaline streaming through your system had you feeling bold and confident about your approach, hoping you weren’t coming on too strong in your efforts. 

“Would it be okay if I bummed one of those off of you?” Pointing at the red and white packet of cigarettes, leaning forward in his direction. 

He looks down at the pack, then back to you, his chair swiveling in your direction as he holds out the small box and lighter. You pluck one of the untouched sticks out, placing the butt of it between your lips— not missing the way he watches intensely at how your mouth holds the smoke, eyes constantly flicking back and forth from your lips to your eyes. 

You watch as your thumb flicks vigorously at the lighter, each attempt failing to produce the little flame you so desperately needed to pull off this moment. He must have sensed your frustration, sliding his glass in your direction and his knee knocking into yours as he sits down in the chair next to yours. 

“Here, let me.” He says, taking a hold of the lighter in your hand, his thumb deftly striking the spark wheel and holding the ignition tab.

The flame flickers about at the end of the cigarette, a glow washes over your face as you focus on the long drag of air through the cigarette, the end beginning to form a glowing fiery ember. 

You’re not really sure of the exact process, but you try to play it off like you have definitely had this before. It burns as the smoke settles in the back of your throat, immediately expelling the smoke from your mouth in a few short coughs, waving off the lingering haze floating through the air as you try to downplay the assault on your lungs. 

“First time?” His brows furrowed, concerned about your little suffocating mishap, three fingers bringing his glass up to his lips, his throat tensing as he swallowed down the rest of his drink. 

You mirror his actions, washing down the residual nicotine on your tongue, wishing it was water to help with the lingering burn. 

“What gave it away?” You say, twirling the stem of your glass between your fingers. 

He takes another drag, deciding you hate how sexy he looks doing it, but you don’t want him to stop because it’s making you feel a sort of way each time he does it. Silently torturing yourself with all the ways you would love to see his mouth work— on you. 

“The choking was a dead giveaway.” You both laugh together at how right he is. 

“Guilty! You just looked so— attractive over there with yours, I figured I’d give it a shot. Lesson learned. Here, do you want the rest of it?” Holding out the smoldering cigarette to him. “Plus, they say they’re bad for you— so I guess my lack of experience isn’t such a bad thing.”

He laughs again, grabbing the cigarette from you and placing it in an ashtray, then focusing back on you as he props and elbow up on the counter. 

“You get stood up?” He asks. 

“Straight to the point. What makes you think I got stood up?” 

“A beautiful woman, dressed like that, sitting alone in a bar— a man would be stupid to see you and leave without you on his arm. So, I’m assuming he never saw you to begin with?” He’s confident in his assessment. 

He thinks I’m beautiful? Evening not wasted. 

“Actually, I was on a date— set up by a friend who’s determined to find me someone to settle down with.”

“That bad then?” 

“No, he was a great guy, almost too great. But we wanted different things, and decided it was best if we just ended the dinner early before we went any further.” You explained with complete transparency. 

As you shift yourself in the seat, your foot brushes up against his leg as you cross your legs. You catch the way his thumb slowly skims over his bottom lip, intently watching your foot slide up and down the length of his calf, his eyes then returning to you. Even in the middle of this dimly lit room, you can see the desire sparking in his warm brown eyes. 

“Different? How so?” 

“He wanted a potential wife.”

“And you?” 

Your teeth catch your bottom lip as you contemplate the answer you want to give him, and gauging by how enthralled he is, leaning closer into your space, it’s fair to assume the attraction is mutual. 

“Nothing serious— no strings attached. Just a fun evening to let off steam and then go about our merry way.” You tell him, as you prop yourself up onto the counter, the distance between you gets smaller and smaller. 

His response is a low hum, jaw ticking to the side and an eyebrow cocked upward as he contemplates your suggestion. He finds you very attractive and likes the suggestion of no strings attached— he’s not looking for anything serious either, so maybe a night of indulging is just what he needs too. 

He studies the way your body responds to his touch, placing a hand on your exposed knee that is situated between his legs, thumb drawing light circles over your now pebbled skin. He doesn’t miss the small gasp you let out as hand inches over your thigh, exploring how soft you feel under his callused hands. 

If you could, you’d will your body to come right now. This prequel to what you hope to be amazing foreplay, has your body buzzing with anticipation, craving more of whatever he’s willing to give. 

Confidence erupting through your body, you decide that one night with this handsome man is a very good idea. Waving down the nearest bartender to close out your tab, leaving a more than generous tip, has things in motion. 

Hopping down from the bar stool, downing the rest of your drink in one final gulp before grabbing your clutch and turning to the man still seated, awaiting your signal. You take a move out of his playbook, placing your hand on his denim clad thigh, slowly sliding up towards his groin—  he exhales deeply when you boldly brush your fingers against the growing bugle within the confines of his jeans. 

“I think we both know where this is going…” You say, your lips ghosting over his ear, hand slowly sliding off of his leg as you move around him, heels clicking against the floor as you head towards the bathroom. 

Looking back over your shoulder, he’s watching your every move, giving him a sultry wink and adding a little more sway to your hips as you walk down the shadowy hallway— missing him throw  a few bills on the countertop before stubbing out the rest of his cigarette and finishing his drink in a hastily manner. 

*

You release the breath you didn’t realize you were holding as you step into the bathroom. Nowhere to set your clutch, you toss it into the oversized sink, then bracing your body against the washing basin as your brain catches up to what is about to happen if that beautiful stranger walks through that bathroom door. 

Not just a simple one night stand, but a one night stand with someone you had only laid eyes on 30 minutes prior. 

There was a small part of you that was nervous about the thought of sleeping with someone you knew absolutely nothing about— but it was only a small part of you. The other part was completely eager, an excitement stirring within you, so turned on by the fact that you were about to have the most amazing night in a long time. 

You give yourself a once over in one of the many framed mirrors, different shapes and sizes, hung above the sink— grateful in your choice of a silky shift dress, the fabric draping over your curves perfectly. 

It’s an impulsive move, but a daring one as you rid yourself of your lace underwear, confidence continuing to build as the seconds tick on, carefully stepping out of them and stuffing them into your clutch. 

A light knock on the door grabs your attention, one quick look at your reflection before turning to open the door. You’re met with a rush of air. Bodies colliding, gripping and pulling, strong hands providing stability in a synchronized flow of hasty movements as your back collides with the cool brick wall. Lungs exerting a passionate strain, as you look at the handsome stranger pressed against you. His eyes search for any sign of hesitancy on your face, slowly closing the distance between the two of you. 

The room is quiet once the lock is set, shared breaths drowning out the world existing on the other side of the door. 

“Are you sure you want this? Tell me to stop and I’ll walk right back out there, no questions asked.”  His words fan across your face, hot and honeyed as he seeks your consent to continue.

“Yes! I want this— I want you.” You purr with conviction. His chest is firm beneath your touch, fingers settling into his thick rich brown hair. 

You gasp into his parted lips when you feel one of  his hands cup your unclothed cunt, the skirt of your dress bunched over your hips. His other arm is quick to wrap around your waist, aiding in the support of your now shaky legs. 

“Were you planning on this happening?” He asks as his deft fingers begin to swipe through your wet folds. 

“No— but it seemed like too good of an opportunity to pass up.” You say between staggered rapid breaths.  

“And what if I turned you down?” His hand stills, the question hanging in the air as he observes your nearly blissed out expression. 

You're not quite sure what happened to your usual demure self, and frankly you don’t mind that she is taking a backseat to this exhilarating situation unfolding. 

“I would have gone home and gotten myself off thinking about how handsome you looked sitting there at the bar. If it’s too much of a challenge, my hands are more than capable of handling this when I get hom—“

There’s a mixture of fierceness and purpose behind his heady work, your words forgotten as his mouth crashes against yours in a mess of greedy lips and ardent nips. 

He continues to kiss you with a fervent effort, swallowing the mewling whine that escapes your throat when his two fingers slide exquisitely into your velvety heat. His chest rumbles as your walls immediately clench around him, your body already on the precipice of an intoxicating payoff that it takes only a few swipes of his thumb over your sensitive clit to have you coming all over his hand. 

“Oh fuck!”

There’s a steady buzz of desire burning through you, your head falling back against the wall, mind reeling over the way this man was able to pull you apart with measured precision on his part. You would be lying if you said you were not looking forward to what else he was able to do with the rest of his extremities. 

His warm mouth latches onto your open neck. Blood rushing to the surface of your skin as he sucks and bites along your collarbone, his tongue soothing over the surface as he continues his quest for more of you. 

“I didn’t get your name.” He states as he halts his movements. 

His hair is a tousled mess and you can’t help but admire how gorgeous he is up close. The aurous flecks in his irises, visible even in the soft glow of this bathroom. A flush forming on the apples of his cheeks, the rosy coloring is perfect with his golden skin. His lips are a little fuller, tactile and tempting in their plushness. 

“I didn’t give it.” You muse, brushing the fallen hair off of his forehead. “No names. No strings attached. No commitments. We just enjoy what’s happening and then you and I leave this bar with just a memorable time together— is that okay?” 

“Yeah.”

It’s another blurred rush of motions, now pushed up against the sink facing the wall of ornate mirrors. You watch through one of them as he rips open a condom wrapper in record time, hands hurried as he works it over his hard length. 

“You sure still want this?” He asks once more, his chest flush against your back, the head of his cock notching at your weeping entrance. 

“Y-yes— Please!”

He slowly sinks into you, your moans mingle about in the confined space as he stills to let you adjust to him, his grip firm on your hips as you hold steady to the sides of the sink.  

“I’m gonna move, okay?” His voice is rough against your ear. You manage to nod in response, your brain too dazed at the sensation of his cock inside of you. 

The echoing  of his hips slamming into you fills the room, the drag and thrust of his length hits that sweet spot— eliciting a high pitched sigh from somewhere deep inside of you. 

“Fuck! That feels so good!” Your jaw goes slack, as he continues to punch through your aroused cunt.

His hands begin to wander around. One still firm against your hip, holding your bunched dress out of the way, while the other settles under your breast, oscillating between kneading at the weight of it and pinching at your pebbled nipple— triggering your muscles to grip him tighter as he does it. 

His breath is hot on your neck, forehead resting against the side of your head. 

“You’re so beautiful— the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen.” Words freely fall from his lips. There’s weight to them, your stomach dropping as he continues to praise you in the most endearing way. 

You manage to open your eyes in your pleasured haze, his eyes already locked on you and they don’t falter. This isn’t what you expected going into this, to feel anything aside from an amazing kiss and a good orgasm, but this pure infatuation has begun to  creep up into your chest. He’s looking at you with an intensity that far exceeds anything you’ve ever been on the receiving end of— your body craving more of it. 

Your body begins to tense, your cunt clamping down as a lustrous arousal blooms at your core. A surge of heat licks at the base of your spine, you feel yourself beginning to tip over the edge. 

“Oh god! I’m— I’m gonna come!” 

“I got you— I got you. Go ahead, let go.” He nods to your reflection as draws delicate circles over your clit, coaxing the final push needed to reach euphoric heights. 

“Shit! Fu— hnngh!” He moans as the pulsating grip on his dick has him finishing right behind you, his warm spend filling the condom. 

He continues to hold you against him as his movements halt, pressing a trail of tender kisses from your shoulder to the sensitive spot behind your ear, then his gaze focuses back to where you’re still watching him in the mirror. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah— more than okay!” Still trying to catch your breath, your skin tingling in a post carnal delight. 

The room is filled with silence, the excitement at a low simmer now as he pulls out of you, ridding himself of the condom as you begin to search for your discarded underwear. 

Situating his jeans back onto his narrow hips and fastening his leather belt, all ready to head back out to the now bustling bar when he catches the way you stumble trying to step into your lace underwear. 

“Here, let me help you.” He says, kneeling down to help. 

“It’s okay— I just need a minute for my sea legs to get back to normal.” 

He chuckles softly, grabbing your undergarment allowing you to properly step into them while you steady yourself with the sink edge. He slowly slides them up your legs, fingers lightly grazing over your skin and glancing up to you as he does so, then positioning them just right, your dress falling when he removes his hands from you. 

“Thank you.” You say as you turn to look at yourself in the mirror, your usual timid demeanor now taking over your senses. 

A stillness hangs between you for a moment, neither of you really sure how to feel about what just happened. There was a spark building between you, a yearning for something more than you agreed on. 

“I’m gonna head out then I guess. This was fun— I had a great time with you.” He said, chewing at his bottom lip, tapping his knuckles against the porcelain surface of the sink. 

“Yeah— me too. Thank you for this— I really needed it.” Holding your purse tightly in front of you, nervously picking at the tiny beads that decorate it. 

Taking a few short steps toward where you’re standing, the space between your bodies disappears, his hand cups your face as his lips begin to move over yours without hesitation. You hold his arms, allowing his proficient tongue to meld over yours. It’s passionate and all-encompassing— and there’s an unreasonable part of you that wants to kiss him for an eternity. 

You’re not sure how long it lasts, long enough to crave more and not enough to be disappointed when he pulls away. 

He rests his forehead against yours, then slowly backs away towards the door, giving you one last look before heading out and the door closing behind him. 

You groan in frustration, smacking your clutch into your face as you try to compose your blurred thoughts about what had just transpired— most of them about the nameless man who you will most likely never see again. 

*

The bar is now filled to its max capacity, music levels lifted to accommodate the lively atmosphere. You hang up the pay phone tucked in the corner and head in the direction of the front door. Dancing bodies make it difficult to shuffle your way through, but you manage and welcome the cool air as you step out onto the sidewalk. 

A breeze blows through as you wait by the curb, wishing you had an extra layer to shield you from the wind. 

“Hey!” A familiar voice says, prompting you to turn in the direction it was coming from. 

The handsome stranger, his boots scuffing against the ground as he walks to where you were waiting, giving you ample time to admire him under the glow of the full moon, now noticing the dimple that pairs with the casual smile he gives you. 

“Hi.” You smile brightly at him, a nervousness washing over you as he stands there with his hand on his hips. 

“You need a ride home? My pickup is parked over there— I don’t mind getting you to where you need to go.” He points back in the direction of the parking lot, his nervous rambling is endearing. 

You tilt your head as you let his words resonate around in your mind. You want nothing more than for him to take your hand and guide you to his truck, holding your hand and the door open as you carefully climb into the cab. To watch his profile as he focuses on the road ahead, while some sweet country song about falling in love with a stranger at a bar drifts from the speakers. For him to walk you to your front door so you can both stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do or say as the night comes to an end. To feel his lips once more before he tells you to have a good night and he’d love to see you again. 

“That would go against the no strings attached part of our deal though.” You explain lightly, the crunching tires of your cab coming to a stop grabs your attention. “This is me. Thank you again— I really had a great night with you.” You lean in and kiss his cheek before turning and getting into the cab. 

“‘Night Handsome.” You say to him as you shut the door and the driver pulls away from the curb. 

He waves you off as the cab drives away, a small part of him hoping this isn’t the last time he sees you. 

[moonstrider9904]

Pretty Thoughts

Part 3 of the Urban Flora mini series

Part 1 | Part 2 | Cross-posted to AO3 | Series Masterlist

Summary: You awaken to two truths - you are unmistakably in love with Crosshair, and you are both the main story on a popular gossip blog. Although this screams destruction for your reputation, what if it's a blessing in disguise?

Tags: Smut (18+ only), alcohol consumption, gossip, confrontation, female masturbation, vaginal sex, oral sex, creampie

Word count: 5.7k

Playlist: Pretty Thoughts by Alina Baraz

A/N: I've had the most fun writing and posting this series! Thank you to everyone who's read, commented, and shared! You are all the best. I hope you like the ending to this mini-series!

The nearly incessant beeping from your holopad woke you up after a night of heavy sleep. You were in that stage between your dreams and consciousness where you were just starting to make sense of things, and you reached to your nightstand for your holopad as you let out a groggy groan. When you unlocked it, your eyes widened at the screen, disregarding its glow on your pupils.

You had over 200 notifications among your messages and socials, and you quickly decided that couldn't be good.

You sat up on your bed and turned on your lamp - the sun was just beginning to rise outside, and the blinds in your bedroom blocked most of whatever light could come in anyways. You crossed your legs and held your holopad in front, and you opted to check your direct messages from any friends. First, you checked the messages from your closest friend, Pen, whom you rarely saw, but you could always confide in, and your heart nearly leapt from your chest when you saw the picture of Crosshair wearing the outfit he had on the day before, looking at the camera with a hint of confusion, but still composed and handsome as he normally was, and you recognized the area he was standing in as the street just outside the motel you had visited the day before.

Below the image, Pen's text read: Daaayum! Are all clones this fine? Why didn't you tell me you were seeing someone?

You closed out of her conversation and went onto your ongoing conversation with a different friend, Eloise, the daughter of the Senator from Corellia: Heads up, you and your mystery man made it to Scandal Gal.

Below, she had attached the full screenshot of the blog post, and below Crosshair’s picture, you read the caption:

Wakey wakey, high society: Sweetie's mystery man appears to be a silver fox dream. My sources say he was spotted entering a hotel with Sweetie and then leaving it, with our damsel of the moment seen leaving earlier than him, apparently glowing. While we may be left to fantasize about the happenings within the motel's walls, what I'm more interested to know is if this handsome young soldier is willing to introduce any of his brothers to us poor, starving gals. Consider me first in line.

With your heart pounding in your chest, you did what you knew you shouldn't have done and went over to Scandal Gal's blog and read the comments, though to your surprise, none of the comments were dragging you. You'd half expected to be called a slut by every commenter, but most of the thirsty girls in the blog were fawning at how handsome Crosshair was. You didn't particularly like a horde of girls digitally cat-calling your man, but you preferred that over a ruined reputation.

Overnight, you had become a phenomenon. What started as a picture with a few comments speculating about your encounter at the opera was now a full-fledged story that easily hundreds of people around the east side of Coruscant were following. You read multiple comments talking wonders about Crosshair, others talking wonders about you, very many admiring your relationship and how attractive you both looked together—and a few comments here and there dragging you and/or Crosshair, as expected, but overall, you and Crosshair had taken over the holonet for all the right reasons.

You wanted to laugh, but a part of it freaked you out as well. You’d never made a high profile of yourself. You’d always enjoyed your spoils in life in as private a way as possible, and the few times you’d actually made it to Scandal Gal had been because a dress you wore somewhere was beautiful, not because of your love life.

And only then, it hit you—did Crosshair know about this? And if he did, how would he take it?

Catastrophizing wouldn’t get you anywhere. You got up from your bed and put on your bathrobe, which rested on the armrest of the cozy chair next to your bed. You opened the blinds of your bedroom and took a moment to admire the Coruscant skyline with the sun making its way up the sky, dancing with a few clouds against the light blue hue. You exited your bedroom and headed past your living room with your holopad in hand, towards the kitchen to brew your coffee. As the coffee brewed, you opened the blinds to the rest of your apartment and basked in the morning peace far away from any whispers of scandal that lived in your holopad. You figured that was the bright side of it all—whether it was good talk or bad talk, it only lived in your holopad, and it wasn’t going to make its way into your calm morning.

The calm was interrupted when the door to your apartment flew open, and your mother seemed to glide inside, letting the door close behind her. Her eyes scanned the apartment until they found you, and you couldn’t decide if she was angry at you or not. At the sight of you, your mother sighed—even in her apparent disappointment, which you wouldn’t pretend not to know the cause of, your mother had a regal stance worthy of the senator of Coruscant, with her dark beige suit and her expertly done hair; even her floral scent that commanded respect.

You tried to be as nonchalant as possible, gesturing at the coffee brewer with your hand and raising your eyebrows. Your mother sighed again and shook her head, and instead, she gestured with her chin at the holopad that rested on your counter.

“Have you opened that thing this morning?” She asked you.

“Yes,” you uttered.

“Darling, what were you thinking?” Your mother now seemed more worried than angry at you. “Do you at least know this man well enough?”

“Well enough to know I’m head over heels for him,” you admitted.

“And then there’s that ridiculous gossip site,” your mom continued. “I tell myself it’s no big deal, just a little source of entertainment for spoiled rich teens with nothing better to do, but I can’t fathom the fact that now they’re picking on you. I’m too nervous to read any of the posts or the comments thinking about all the horribly unkind things everyone’s sharing about you… people can be so cruel.”

You sighed. “I know, but, Mom… as far as I’ve checked, the things Scandal Gal and the readers are saying aren’t that bad…”

“Meaning?” She inquired.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. “They love him. They’re saying he’s devastatingly handsome and fawning over him, some of them even want to go stand outside the clone bar to see if they can get boyfriends.”

“But what are they saying about you?” She asked.

“I’m a hero. They like my dress, the scarf I wore, and the man I’m with. I think there’s an ongoing wager as to whether or not I’ll marry him,” you delivered blankly.

Your mother’s eyes widened, and you held in your laughter at her reaction.

“Mom, relax,” you said. “I’m not saying I will. But I do really like him. And all things considered, I expected mayhem, and even if there are a few mean things here and there, they don’t compare to how good most of the responses are.”

“That’s rare,” your mother admitted. “And I suppose you’re right, you can’t control what everyone says.”

“And I won’t try to,” you agreed. “I’m just saying it could be a lot worse and if it’s not as bad as I thought it could be, I’m gonna embrace it.”

For a split second, your mother looked at you in plain disbelief. Regardless, she sighed, straightened her back, and gathered herself, and she met your gaze again with understanding.

“Alright, now tell me, who is this man?” She asked.

“He’s the sniper who took out the assassin who tried to kill the Chancellor,” you said as you poured your cup of coffee.

Your mom raised her eyebrows. “Oh.”

“Oh?” You raised your eyebrows too, pouring another cup for your mother.

“I met him at the start of the opera,” she explained. “I even invited him to our box, but he said he already had one, he didn’t want to refuse it and seem rude.”

“Yeah, he was invited because of his efforts,” you said. “In fact, I… I met him during the final intermission at the opera. We got to talking and he’s just… fascinating.”

Those were all the details you’d give to your mother about that night.

Your mother’s demeanor seemed to soften as she drank from the coffee you’d given her. With a soft exhale, she set the cup down on the counter and pressed her hands together in front of her chest, avoiding your gaze for a few moments.

“Sweetie, I don’t want you to think I’m exploiting your relationship with this man,” she began.

You tilted your head. That was one of the last things you’d expected her to say.

She then met your gaze. “But this is actually a very good look.”

“What, for you?” You asked.

Your mother chuckled. “I have spent months collaborating with Senator Chuchi to pass a clone rights bill. When your… boyfriend…”

You chuckled. “Crosshair.”

She nodded slowly. “Right. When Crosshair saved the Chancellor’s life, we got a lot more support, but we’re not quite there yet. Too many people view the clones as vessels bred for combat, not as actual human beings with human emotions and human needs. And, as triumphant as Crosshair was in saving the Chancellor, his effort was still that of a soldier, hence why we’re, as I said…”

“Not quite there yet,” you continued. “And… you think that if I’m public with him, so public that people are talking about relationships and gossiping like they do with anyone else in our society, he’ll look more human.”

“And by extension, the rest of the clones,” your mother added. “It just might shift the tide in favor of finally giving them some more rights.”

You smiled softly and took another ship of your coffee. “I love the sound of that. I just don’t know how I feel about scheming regarding Crosshair.”

“Be honest with him, then,” your mother suggested. “If you’re not on board, be as private as you possibly can, I won’t hold it against you. It was just an idea. And now that I think about it…”

You looked up at her again, waiting for what else she had to say.

“We do have that art gala coming up tonight,” she suggested. “Why don’t you invite him?”

You nodded slowly. “I’ll ask him. I wouldn’t mind getting all fancy and seeing him, but for starters, he needs to want to go.”

“He went to the opera, didn’t he?”

“Well, yes, but that was an invitation of honor,” you answered. “And he didn’t seem like a fish out of water, but I can’t help thinking this just isn’t what he’s used to.”

Your mother gazed at you sincerely. “Don’t you cage him into the label of a soldier, too. If you like this man and you want to be with him, you’re going to have to realize he’s more than that.”

You raised both of your brows. You knew she was right, and to have heard that coming from your mother, it meant volumes. You barely ever approached what she did inside the senate, but you pondered on how much her words made sense based on what little she’d shared with you about her efforts with the Pantoran senator. And even if she wasn’t trying to pass a clone rights bill, she was still right—Crosshair was a living, breathing man, and even though you knew he was a soldier, you hadn’t met him as such. You’d seen him at a high society gathering over drinks. You’d shared coffee and bantered with him, kissed him under the rain, made love to him time and time again until you couldn’t get him out of your thoughts.

As soon as your mother left, you reached for your holopad and ignored the multiple notifications you had, heading straight for Crosshair’s frequency number and typing out your message at least three times before sending it, trying to find the most chill way to invite him to the art gala. You sent the message and waited for the reply, frantically scurrying to your holopad anytime it vibrated. For a while, he didn’t answer, and before you lost hope, you finally saw the notifications coming in from Crosshair.

Can’t resist another little encounter with me, can’t you, Sweetie?

You chuckled, but you felt nervous at the same time. That obviously meant he’d been, in some way, exposed to Scandal Gal too.

How fancy do I have to dress? His next message came in shortly after.

You chuckled at your phone and typed back: Fancy enough to knock everyone dead.

Instantly, Crosshair replied: ’Kay. I’ll be there.

After you texted him all the details of the event, you went about your day with a twinge of excitement sprinkled over your every move. The sun made its way around the sky until it was time for you to get ready for the event, and for this occasion, you chose a dark purple dress paired with long black gloves and no necklace, since you’d be wearing your hair down your shoulders. The dress’s top had a black ribbon outlined in the shape of a triangle, with the base at your waist, and it was filled with discreet black sequins. On the right shoulder, where the dress’s top met your sleeve, you placed a dark gray brooch that your mother had given you on your eighteenth birthday, and looking at yourself in the mirror, you were almost ready to go. You did your makeup and grabbed your purse, and then you went out the door to the nightlife of Coruscant, where your mother was already waiting at the bottom of the building with a vehicle.

Your pulse was racing for the whole ride, knowing you would meet Crosshair there. You clutched your purse with both hands over your pressed thighs, and you could feel beads of sweat forming in your palms, having to take deep breaths from time to time to keep yourself steady. The vehicle finally arrived at the gala and parked just in front of the red carpet you were meant to walk on, and only then it dawned on you that multiple pairs of eyes thirsting for scandal would be on you. But you wouldn’t back out, not now, not when you were the very image of elegance in society about to meet with your Silver Fox Dream, as Scandal Gal had put it.

You resolved to knock them all dead too.

The door on your side of the vehicle was opened by an usher, and you stepped out, straightening your posture and taking in the scenery of flashing cameras and excited partygoers, and confident as you looked, your heartbeat hadn’t calmed down in the slightest. You looked around, scanning for the only person you were interested in seeing.

And soon enough, your eyes landed on him. His attire was possibly better than the one he wore the night of the opera, with a slim fit pitch-black suit and shirt, adorned with a burgundy vest under the coat, and rich red rose in his breast pocket. Crosshair’s watchful eyes gazed back at you, and as you remained still in front of your vehicle while your mother got out, Crosshair made his way to you, letting you behold every detail on him as he got closer to you, and when he was finally right in front of you, you took in all of him.

Crosshair was strikingly debonair, undeniably gorgeous, charming in his pride and confidence. He even smelled incredible. His tall figure seemed to loom protectively over you, complimenting your lack of height when you stood next to him, and you both made such a perfect pair you almost hoped that gossiping teenage girls were in proximity to behold your beauty, perhaps even eat their hearts out as a treat for you.

“Miss,” Crosshair greeted as he took your hand and brought it up to his lips, placing a soft kiss to your knuckles.

His gentle kiss ignited every inch of your skin as you briefly remembered the moments of passion you’d already shared with that man. You gave him a demure smile, taking one step closer to him, wishing with every fiber of your body to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in for a kiss not unlike the one you’d had under the rain the day before, but perhaps it wasn’t the time or place for such a public display. Moreover, as Crosshair was lowering your hand down from his gesture, your mother exited the vehicle and appeared at your side, smiling at Crosshair.

He acknowledged her and gave her the hint of a smile, taking a slight bow. “Ma’am.”

He held out his hand, offering her the chance to be greeted in a similar way as you, and to your surprise, your mother obliged.

“It’s wonderful to see you again,” your mother said to him. “I didn’t know you’d met my daughter until this morning.”

“She’s a wonderful lady, ma’am,” Crosshair responded without a hint of hesitation or insecurity.

You were in awe at how easily he was getting along with your mother as the two continued to make small conversation, and soon enough, your mom went ahead and entered the building, with you and Crosshair following behind, your arm linked in his. Camera flashes on you weren’t scarce, and in the distance, you could hear high-pitched cries of “There they are!” and “They’re so hot together!”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly at yourself.

“Basking in your triumph?” Crosshair broke the silence between you.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“That was a bold move, inviting me here, introducing me to your mother,” he continued, his features holding the sternness they usually did, but you picked up on no disgust on his behalf.

“Yeah, well…” You said. “Overnight, we kind of became public figures, you and me. There’s this gossip site that’s been following me around for a while, nothing major, but when you and I started talking at the opera, we got popular.”

“Ah, Scandal Gal,” Crosshair mused. “Yes, I was approached and stalked by a teen.”

You nearly snorted trying to hold in your laughter. “What?”

“The picture of me that’s on that site was taken by a sixteen-year-old girl,” Crosshair said, smirking. “Somehow, I’m more afraid of gossip-hungry teens than I am of tactical droids.”

You chuckled. “They’re formidable, alright.”

“So… you’re feeding them what they want by bringing me here?” He continued the conversation.

“No, not exactly,” you replied. “That’s a side effect. Because of Scandal Gal, my mom rushed over to my place this morning panicking a little, but I explained to her that… well…”

You and Crosshair had just reached the bar of the opulent salon where the gala was being held, and you both took a seat on your respective stools. Crosshair eyed you with intrigue as you trailed off, prompting you to speak up, and you realized why you’d stopped yourself from saying what you wanted to say.

But this was Crosshair. He was a dream incarnate, and you were already there with him, a striking and attractive couple that commanded everyone’s attention, and you found yourself smiling at him as your pulse rose once more.

“That I… I feel a lot for you,” you said. “That I really like you, Crosshair, and this isn’t a meaningless fling for the sake of shock value to me.”

Crosshair maintained eye contact with you, and his features softened ever so slightly, so discreetly that an untrained eye wouldn’t have been able to notice. He broke eye contact with you to gesture at the bartender and order drinks for both of you, and then he turned back to you, with his lips curving to a smirk.

“Well, well,” he hummed. “How touching.”

It was good that he didn’t appear repulsive at your sentiments, but your poor, racing heart would need a more precise answer. Then, Crosshair’s smirk widened, and he looked down at his knees, letting his inner softness glow through if only for a moment.

“It’s not meaningless for me either,” he replied.

You smiled brightly and exhaled the tension from your chest. “Really?”

“Really,” he answered.

“Then… there’s something else you should know,” you said.

And you then explained how your mother wouldn’t use you both, but that you were supporting her cause in the senate, how him being exposed to something other than the front lines would put clones in a more human light, at least to the members of the senate who were still on the fence. You even gave Crosshair the opportunity to back out immediately if he felt like his strings were being pulled, but all the while, Crosshair remained with that serene smile at you, and when you were done talking, Crosshair reached for your hands and held them in his.

“Does this bill mean I’ll get paid more?” He asked.

You laughed openly, and he chuckled in return just as the drinks he’d ordered were placed beside you by the bartender.

“Sweetie,” he said to you. “I don’t care much about the other things. Not Scandal Gal, not the Senate, although that bill sounds decent. I came here to be with you because I can’t get you out of my brain. You’re not what I pictured a high-society woman to be, and… well…”

You smiled softly at him, and now it was your turn to prompt him to speak.

“Now that you’ve introduced me to your mother,” he said, “I hope I get the chance to introduce you to my brothers too.”

Your smile widened. “You’d do that?”

He nodded, smiling softly at you. “You’re a smart girl, you can handle it.”

You laughed and reached for your drink, an Urban Flora cocktail that could have been an exact replica of the one you drank when you first met Crosshair at the opera. You took a sip of it without breaking eye contact with Crosshair, and when you lowered your drink, you raised a brow at him.

“But can you handle the Coruscant high societal scene?” You asked.

Crosshair took a sip of his own drink, the smoky, rich Corellian whisky he loved so much, and he leaned in closer to you, close enough for you to smell the smooth, luscious drink on his breath.

“Try me, Sweetie,” he purred.

You giggled, and you both gently bumped your glasses together, and you went on to continue talking about whatever sparked your interest as you finished your drinks. Crosshair told you about his missions, his brothers, even a couple of anecdotes of when he was a young cadet. In turn, you told him about your days as a schoolgirl, your plans for the future, what you liked to do in your spare time, the planets you longed to visit all over the galaxy. And then, when the glasses were empty and the conversation was fulfilled, you and Crosshair stood up from the bar and went around the room, and you greeted most of your friends and acquaintances as well as introduced Crosshair to all of them. Crosshair was a flying success with everyone, and you couldn’t help but gawk at him just a little. The night wore on as smoothly as velvet, until it was getting late, and you were bound to return home.

You directed a look at Crosshair, a look that was filled with allure, and he reciprocated. Quick goodbyes were said, and soon, you were sitting with Crosshair at the back of your vehicle as the chauffeur flew you home. As you sat together, you were in silence, and though Crosshair was great with words, you’d learned he was far better with his actions, and he reached for the rose on his breast pocket and handed it to you. You smiled at him, slightly flustered, and for the remainder of the ride, you scooched closer to him and leaned your weight on him, eager to arrive at the privacy of your apartment.

You had no intention of waiting. After you and Crosshair had left the vehicle, the moment the elevator doors closed behind you, you were both on each other. Your hands ran all over his back as you both locked lips, hungrily devouring each other in that small space, and you then let your palms rest on his chest. Crosshair took each of your hands and tugged gently at your middle fingertips, enough to hold onto the gloves you wore as you slid your hands down and the delicate fabric came off, exposing your skin. You heard Crosshair shudder softly before he took you into his arms again, kissing you as passionately as before, and you both felt the elevator pulling to a stop.

You gathered yourselves—there was no need to surprise someone waiting for the elevator with a steamy scene—but when you found there was no one there to see you, you and Crosshair held hands as you made your way over to your penthouse, and the moment the door closed behind you both, you were on each other’s lips once more. Your wandering hands removed his coat and his vest, and he found the zipper at the back of your dress. He lowered the zipper, causing the dress’s blouse to fall limply around your silhouette, and you took a step back, wanting him to watch as you wiggled out of the dress and let the fabric fall gracefully on the floor, leaving you to step out of it.

Crosshair eyed you hungrily as you approached him. Your breasts hung freely at your front, and he didn’t miss the hickey he’d left on your ribs the day before. On your hips, there was a pair of lace black panties, but the top prize was easily taken by the stockings that covered you from the middle of your thighs to your toes, which he couldn’t make himself tear his gaze from. You chuckled and took his hands, leading him slowly into your bedroom, and he followed you blissfully until you were at the foot of your bed.

You let go of him and sat back all the way to your headboard. You pressed your legs together and slowly slid your panties away from you, tossing them aside, and you spread your legs to show him, never once breaking eye contact with him. Your gaze was alluring, slightly teasing, and Crosshair watched. He watched as you spread your legs and took your hand to your inner thigh, teasing your skin, until your fingers finally brushed fully over your folds and your clit. You let out a playful gasp, smirking at him and taunting him, and as he watched, Crosshair began to undress. Your smirk widened, and you continued to touch yourself in the way you most liked, delighted by the sight of him losing the clothes that covered him. Your cunt was wet and swollen, pulsating and sensitive, all you needed to do was increase your pace ever so slightly and you’d tip yourself over the edge—as Crosshair crawled onto the mattress, you decided to give him the full show. Making sure his eyes were still on you, you applied more pressure onto your clit and used your three middle fingers to rub, and looking into his eyes, you finally got to enjoy the waves of your orgasm.

You reveled in how hungry Crosshair looked, pleased and aroused by the little show you put on for him. Crosshair couldn’t help but take his hand over to his cock, pumping slowly as he watched you pleasing yourself, until your orgasm faded, and your moans quieted when you removed your hand. You found Crosshair’s gaze and pouted at him, holding your hand in front of you and curling your finger, beckoning him to come to you. With a smirk, Crosshair obliged, and he positioned himself between your legs, planting soft kisses around your inner thighs before brushing his tongue lusciously over your folds. He moaned into your skin, and you whimpered in return, dazed and sensitive after your antics.

As Crosshair continued to please you with his skilled tongue and lips, you suddenly felt his fingers finding yours. You spread your hand before interlacing your fingers with his, holding him as he brought you closer to another release. Your body squirmed harder than it had the first time around, the white-hot ecstasy seeming to explode within every fiber of your body. You didn’t hold back with your moaning, letting his name escape you many a time, enticed by the velvety texture of his tongue contrasting with the raspiness surrounding his jawline.

When Crosshair emerged from between your legs, you tugged on him, prompting him to rest at your eye level. You wanted to feel him close to you, and Crosshair knew what it was you desired. With your legs still spread, you rested back and let him take the lead, feeling as he slowly inserted himself within your tight, warm walls. You both moaned in unison and stared deeply into each other’s eyes as he began his thrusts slowly, luxuriously letting you feel everything. Your lips begged for his, and you perked your face up to kiss him as you felt your body gently bouncing on the mattress in his rhythm. Crosshair’s kisses made you float higher and higher, and drenched in pleasure and ecstasy, you felt like you were in paradise. Crosshair was truly capable of taking you there.

Crosshair paused his kisses on your lips and lifted himself to look at you, his gaze stern and seductive as he increased the snapping of his hips. He grunted as he hammered into you, shuddering and twitching inside you in anticipation, soon unable to contain soft groans and whimpers. Crosshair looked straight into your eyes, flooded by adoration of you, until the pleasure was too much for him to keep his eyes open even as much as he wanted to gaze into you. His eyes shut and the rhythm of his hips became unfathomably fast, and so too, you descended into bliss for the third time that night. You smiled amidst your orgasm, chiming his name in a delicious moan, your hand still securely holding his as he released inside you and fell limp on the mattress beside you afterwards.

You both panted, each your own dazed and flustered mess as you made futile attempts to recover, but as much as you were both unable to do much else, you remained holding each other’s hands. As time passed, you soon felt Crosshair’s thumb brushing delicately up and down your finger, and you watched him with a tender gaze. You felt you’d fall asleep right there, and if you did, you knew you would want for nothing. You knew you’d have nothing to worry about for as long as you were together, and the pain of temporary separations would be worth it if it was Crosshair you would wait for.

And there on your mattress, filled with love, resolve, and exhaustion, you drifted off into sleep.

A gentle sunlight and the song of birds woke you up. You noticed the space beside your bed was empty, and you didn’t waste time getting up and placing your robe over you as you sought out your lover. You walked over to the living room and your attention was drawn to the balcony, where he stood with his back turned on you, shirtless and wearing his pants from the night before, gazing out at the scenery.

You took a moment to admire him and the way his skin appeared golden under the morning sun, contrasting almost artistically with the green plants on your balcony, the blue sky, and the skyline ahead. With soft steps, you approached him and stepped out onto the balcony, and you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind, pressing a soft kiss on his shoulder blade. Crosshair delicately shuffled and brought your figure next to him, draping his arm around you, and you both stood in silence for a few peaceful moments, watching the scenery.

“What are you watching?” You asked him, knowing it was in his nature to observe.

His amber eyes scanned the scenery, and he almost looked humbled. He had the face of an innocent life being beholding the universe ahead of them, realizing how small they truly were in comparison to the greatness of creation itself.

“Out there, as soldiers,” Crosshair began, “it often feels like we fight because it’s all we know. We were made for it. Myself, my brothers, more obviously bred for different purposes, all to serve one war. But aside from why we were created, we never really stop to think what we’re fighting for.”

You looked up at him, watching his features soften in realization as he spoke. Crosshair then angled his body more towards you, and he held you tighter, pressing you to the warmth of his skin, watching you with the most tender gaze you had ever felt on you.

“I won’t forget this next time I’m on the battlefield,” he continued.

“You mean, Coruscant?” You asked. “The Republic, these people, this skyline… peace?”

He smiled. “I mean you.”

You smiled at him, devoted.

Crosshair chuckled. “All of that, too, but, mostly you.”

“Oh, Crosshair,” you wrapped your arms around him and perked on your toes, requesting a kiss.

Crosshair obliged and kissed you gently, almost carefully, feeling as the sunshine draped over his skin. He wished he could remain there longer, but he had a duty, a duty that had brought him to you, and a duty that he had to fulfill in order to one day be with you more properly. He knew that, with you on Coruscant waiting for him, he’d always have a reason to return, and a reason to keep fighting. He’d never thought of a life besides being a soldier, but if you were in it, it couldn’t be so bad.

And out there, on that balcony, Crosshair held you close to him until the very last moment he could spare with you, until he had to leave again to be a soldier, always with the promise of returning to you.

*

This just in: Sweetie and Sniper Man are still together and far more public now that I and my loyal sources have done our job ;) I do think we have a power couple in our midst, and the next time these two show up at a fancy event dressed to impress, you’ll hear about it from none other than yours truly. I certainly wish the happy couple all the best, and my challenge towards Sniper Man to bring forth more eligible men from the fine and respectable GAR still stands. Help us gals out, Sniper Man, we all love you so much, and we can’t let Sweetie keep all the spoils!

Yours truly!

Thank you for reading! Please consider reblogging to support me!

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[marengogo]

Are You Sure ?! - #4: I Hate that YOU Love Hate You but, I Love YOU, so ...

I’m listening to a Mellow/Angsty Love playlist - (yes) it has BTS/ solos BTS songs as well

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

Hello My Sentimental Girls, Bois and Enbys,

Please be kindly warned that I am going to be overpoweringly sensitive as I write this. Not necessarily because Are You Sure?! has unfortunately come to an end, but because, as I try to write this post, as always, “through” my TwinFlame’s JK emotional lens, the last two episodes really were so full of so many feelings that I am trying my best to order my thoughts and do them justice. Like, let me tell you, this boy really felt plenty, or better yet he allowed himself to truly feel a lot hence, as always, through respectful speculation and educated guessing I’ll try my best to convey my related observations. 

Towards the end of the post I’ll also have a little confession to make about something that I have been so determinedly ignoring, because the mere thought always makes me so uncomfortable, sad, and a tiny bit scared, so there’s also that.

All that being said, here I am, concluding this physical/sentimental journey, with my unrequested thoughts but with a hopeful sense that perhaps writing this down will somehow lessen my emotional weight, because let’s be for real, I am going to have AYS withdrawals on Thursday. So, is this post going to be long?  … 🤡 I mean, you should know me by now. For those who don’t know me, yes, it will be a long post 🙏🏾.

Truly free things are hard to come by nowadays. Undoubtedly, money has effectively found its way into our everything. Yet, there is one thing that hasn’t changed in its acquired value as in, how you get by it, and how you get it, etc. This one thing is still available free and you can find it anywhere, LITERALLY. However, whether or not you’ll be able to acquire it, and eventually keep it, is, to this day, one of the most debated, discussed, joyed over, cried over, mused over, etc, topic. 

Yes, you’ve guessed; it’s Love. 

I don’t believe I was actually ever taught about just Love in all its forms. Not at home, not at school school talked about famous people in love, sexual education, popular love … basically they beat around the bushes 🙄, or amongst friends, and if I had, I do not recall it, at all and y’all, I have one heck of a good memory, I will not be humble about that. I think that my first notions and ideas I formed about the concept of Love came through books and films, and let me tell you, there is an infinite related archive out there, which can be as exciting, as much as dangerous. Regardless, even though it was never really explained to me same for everyone most likely, as I grew up, EVERYONE loooved to talk about it, ALL THE TIME, so somehow, I made my own understanding of it. 

One of the things I understood was that some day, when I would become a woman, I would find an adult man, have a family, children, and live happily ever after because I would fall in love and some man would fall in love with me. I understood it as a given; Everyone, of a certain gender, falls in love with someone, of the opposite gender, because there is someone out there, of a certain gender, for everyone, of the opposite gender, just waiting to find you or to be found. Basically, Everyone will eventually find, and forever keep, mutual heterosexual romantic Love.

Spoiler alert: It wasn’t not true.

In fact, the true state of things is actually the very opposite. The minority of people on this planet, heterosexual or not, will experience, and live with true mutual romantic love, and will be able to keep it for a very long time, and even fewer others will be able to take it all the way to the day they die, those are at the Legendary Level ones. And I am not saying this because I am jaded or bitter or any other hurt and/or hater-inclined-behaviour, you can really miss me with alla dat. This is just that one very helpful, and hard, to accept and you don’t have to accept it by the way! reality that should hit everyone at some point, but not always does. When it doesn’t hit, people may end up tormenting themselves sometimes to death when and/or if they can’t “find love”, wondering if they are unloveable, what is wrong with them, etc etc etc.  

Reason why, it is paramount to love yourself first and foremost. 

Because it might be true that someone is “unlovable” or that there is “something wrong with them” but, if true, this is principally hindering one’s well-being because, finding and trying to fix whatever might be amiss with one's self, may not guarantee a successful mutual romantic love, but it does guarantee a happier life in general. I mean, listen, if in the scope of things, you might end up having to spend the rest of your life without a mutual romance, meaning, you have to spend infinite time with you, yourself & YOU, how is that going to work, if you don’t love yourself …? And, just in case it wasn’t common knowledge, Loving Yourself is not easy, like any other relationship, it takes work. The reason why therapy ain’t cheap ✌🏾💰💋but needed, honestly.

So, let’s make no mistake; alas Love, in any of its forms btw, if it is harmful, it is not Love is needed. In fact, as it turns out, human beings were “programmed” in such a way that having it in one's life would make their existence progress less painfully, or even painlessly. In addition, self-love is one of the purest, satisfying, and incredibly useful types of love out there.

ALL OF THAT BEING SAID, for those lucky enough to find & keep romantic love regrettably, thus far, I am not one of those, trust me when I tell you, it is not at all smooth sailing. There are just so many factors to be factored in and the bear thought of it all can honestly be enough to make anyone not want to be bothered by it.

Yet, my beloved and most precious, TwinFlame seems to have found it. Now, I can’t guarantee it to be romantic as always, despite me believing it to be so but he sure as hell is fighting his darn life to keep it. So, yes, hm, I think

JK is in Love.

If it wasn’t clear enough in episode 1 all the way to this finale, JM is a person whose presence JK particularly wants in his life, and whose absence kinda makes him feel sort of … unsettled? … but I’ll dive deep into this, later on in this post. For now, it is important to point out that my TwinFlame not only actively looks after JM, but he actively seeks JM’s attention, he actively wants to be sought by JM, he actively tries to make JM happy, he actively wants to level with JM, he actively wants JM to be comfortable around himself JK and for JM to be comfortable with himself JM. Basically, JK cares, in his own way, quite loudly for JM. And I say “his own way” because I believe JK’s emotional intelligence (EI) to be somewhat different from the common ones. I actually received an ask about his EI, which I plan to answer very soon 🙏🏾, so for now, I will not dive into that in this, cos I really ain’t trying to compete with the length of dictionaries with this post 😬. 

Japanese people, traditionally, have a fascination for sad love stories, and ever since I got into 875, I’ve been wondering if Koreans feel the same way but in their case, it is likely to be just Sadness period. You see, in the West, we “all” love a heartbreaking and passionate love story, the reason why Romeo and Juliet will probably be eternally famous. Yet, we don’t believe that true love is love, because it is brought about by unbearable suffering, so it must be real. We are more of the true love, is love, because it leads to immeasurable happiness kinda style. Basically we Westerners love Romeo and Juliet because of what they could have been, but Japanese and maybe Koreans would love Romeo of Juliet because of what they were to each other. So when a person like me watches a movie like 5 Centimetres per Second and swears to never watch it EVER AGAIN which I haven’t and refuse to, a Japanese person might think that is probably one of those movies they’ll find themselves watching over and over again and let me tell you, it was great, I just don’t think I can handle a second viewing, no thanks.

So if I am correct in thinking that Koreans feel similarly as Japanese in this matter, JK, like many other Korean folk, loves to sing sad/angsty/melancholic songs. Either by himself, or in company, like he used to with Tae probably they still do as well as watching sad movies, like JM’s favourite being The Notebook and JK’s being Titanic. Yet, here is where the glitch in the matrix happens; JK was most likely not that serious but wasn’t he? 😬 when he brought this up however, he seemed to be a little bothered by the fact that JM really liked “Hate You” out of all the song in his album. JM sang Seven, 3D and Standing Next to You this particular one he kept bringing up like there was no tomorrow, throughout all 3 trips, yet, when he played Hate You in the car, for the second time because he had as well in episode 6 JK was like; “Why?”. 

Let me tell you something.You know how I usually skip Spring Day, cause I can’t really handle it? Before AYS Ep. 8 I used to skip Hate You as well for the same reasons as Spring Day; it was too sad for me to bear as it felt closely related him singing it alone makes me relate it to him in my flowed brain, even though he didn’t write it 🙃 to people I love, people being the Tannies. Lovely by Khalid and Billie Eilish in comparison is MUCH SADDER but because I am in no way emotionally connected to either Khalid or Billie I don’t mind listening to the song at all I love that song. 

Anyways, Long story short, it looked like it bothered him a tiny bit. It felt almost as if “Sure, we are Koreans and we like sad love songs, this being an excellent one, but I don’t want MY love story to be sad” kind of bothered “also this better have NOTHING to do with the fact that Shawn Mendes wrote this song!” - perhaps nervously thought JK 🤡🤣😂. In fact, there are a few situations that came up, involving him and JM, which “bothered” him and he had no qualms in bringing up with JM right away, which by the way is healthy AF. JK seems to be the type of partner that wants to confront you right away and will not let it be until he hears the words that make him know that the “conflict” is cleared to his own satisfaction, or until he senses you don’t want to talk about it any further in that particular moment.

Those are all examples, during AYS, where JK was satisfied with the answer that JM gave him to the legit concerns/silly questions he brought up. JK’s reaction right after all of those answers was him being content/happy, by laughing, singing along, or something else, hence moving on. Below is an example where he wasn’t satisfied with the answer:

Did he just drop it? Did they talk it out? As always, we will never know, as this part cuts into another scene. Only JK, JM and the editors will know and this is a fact we should never forget. Never forget about editing limitations, and this is a very good moment to add that even though whoever translated this show did a shitty ass job, the crew that went with them, to film in Sapporo specifically, seemed to be quite familiar with them, their dynamics almost like friends, which I think contributed with JK and JM feeling as comfy as they did in Japan.

Japan.

By the looks of it, this is the country that holds special meaning to both myself and my TwinFlame and, NGL, this kinda makes me happy and feel special LOL 😜. BUT, I DIGRESS! Didn’t JK seem a bit more … relaxed? Besides the very romantic fact that he wanted to go back to Tokyo because it was their first trip, didn’t JK seem a tad flirtier, a tad cuter, a tad more annoying, a tad comfier and just so fucking happy? He, and I’d dare say JM as well, truly let their guards down, even if just a tad. The fact that JK & JM wondered how the crew would have edited the content tells me that they were fully aware about the fact that they were being filmed, but didn’t want to think too much about it, because they wanted to also have a sense of freedom. Because of that, perhaps, they tried to give us as much realness as they could, restraining themselves in some instances, while also saying Fuck it! in few other cases during which they perhaps forgot about the fact that they were being filmed, confidently relying on their trusted crew to properly edit the footage in the best way possible. But back to the main point,

JK is in Love.

JK is probably the type of person who wishes he could have an answer, and/or remedy, to any problem his significant other may have. Yeah, he is probably the type of man that wishes he could take away all their pain, or feel it for them instead, and it is exactly because he seems to be willing to do anything for his loved one’s well-being that I think that sometimes he does struggle with some of their societal boundaries, such as; age hierarchy. Without getting too much into his EI, the part in episode 7 where he brings up how things would have been if he and JM would have been born the same year really stood out and stayed with me.

In this particular instance, for the first time I finally got to see him kinda mind about their age difference, almost troubled and not because he might think it to be a lot which it isn't at all, but because according to their societal practices, he theoretically should constantly be mindful about it, limiting greatly the actions he can do, not that he’s ever heed to them, but the fact is that he should, and in certain situations, he must. If we think about it properly, right from their debut years, JK has struggled a lot with referring, and treating, JM as a hyung, which is actually quite weird considering that the person he treated more like a “chingu” friend of the same age in this context was is Tae, even though, to my knowledge, he’s never dropped honorifics with him and had no desire in doing so, as explained during the first In The Soop which in hindsight, I’m sure must have confused Tae a lot who has been trying to be his cool hyung for as long as I can remember  (the following pictures are not from In The Soop, but Festa 2021). 

Like, it is honestly so peculiar how, back in the day, JK had never really treated JM as your typical “chingu”, nor a hyung, yet found himself sticking by JM’s side a lot, off cameras, filming him a lot, acting stand-offish just to apologise right after, staring at him a lot, learning all his likes and dislikes, studying his body and habits, doing questionable things such as focusing rather often on his lips and butt through a camera lens, which eventually evolved into JM being the first member he’s ever bought a gift for, as well as being the first member he’s ever travelled alone with… basically, as I’ve stated, JK has really never seen JM as his hyung or friend though he does try to remind himself of it. 

So if JM is not a hyung, or a “chingu”; then what is he? 🙄… 

Wanna know what’s even funnier? JM clearly cares about JK enormously and though he likes most of all of his sides cos JK can be annoying when he wants to 🤡✌🏾 the side he likes the most is his cute side; but here comes the catch. It would seem that from their debut days, JM truly became fond of that cutesy, happily skipping, side that JK shows with his hyungs in particular and the fact that they are ALL his hyung, including JM, just made writing this sentence so weird NGL …, that cuddly, super-maknae aura he has many a time, with literally everyone but the 95s, because Tae, as speculated, he seems to see as a chingu and JM as a … charming person?? Whatever that means.

Now JK does give JM “cute”, sometimes, but it is not the little brother kind of cute. It’s that “don’t go without me…” kind of cute, “let’s buy the same one” kinda cute, “you didn’t show me first, so I am hurt” kinda cute, “how do I look?” kind of cute “I can film you, but don’t film me” kind cute, “... spend time with ME!” kinda cute … you get the jist, don’t you? Cause, repeat after me; He a simp, he a simp, he a simp! And there is nothing wrong with being a simp tbh, as long as you own up to it, and JK does own up to it marvellously 💋.

And remember when I mentioned about him feeling sort of unsettled when JM isn’t around? I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of days but doesn’t it almost feel like a sort of … separation anxiety? Through the whole episodes it sometimes felt like he tried to do as much as possible, of anything, with JM as if he would just take off and leave at some point. This could also explain him always popping up on WEVERSE whenever JM took a flight, or trying his darn best to get him to come around even though they had just spent so much time together in the US. But who knows right? Perhaps he just really loves to spend every hour, every minute, every second with JM because, like crazy,  

JK is in Love.

So in love that he thought it important for himself to drive them to the airport, hence he didn’t drink that last beer I know he was dying inside, as well as taking a flight to Korea with JM, when he really could have just flown to the US from Japan. So in love that out of all the trips he's been to in his life, Are You Sure?! is the best trip he’s ever been on and he wishes to reboot when they come out of the military, where, by the way, they presently are together 🤡 . So in love that he wasn’t going to have JM get sad and lost in his own thoughts while in his presence, no, reason why, like a knight in shining armour, he “went and saved” him from his slump and not because JM was a princess in distress, but because prince charming also needs saving every once in a while If you ask me, the main “princess” in this relationship is my TwinFlame, no doubt, cause I also fo happen to think that they do take turns, for sure. Hence, the main “prince charming” is most definitely JM, and btw, frequency of a certain behaviour is not a factor that determines who is “main” 💋. 

Marengo Confession-Time!  😬- here it goes: I love watching people react to ANY 875 content, but I haven’t been able to watch anybody react to Are You Sure?! Because to put it plainly I am scared. I’m scared that people will question their relationship, or have homophobic reactions, or feel uncomfortable watching them when they do what they do. I just don’t want them to be hated for something they can’t help and are comfortable with. For the most part I am sure they would maybe nt comment, or chalk it up as “brotherly behavior", but what if they don’t? In fact, I am also so apprehensive of the reaction the world would have if they are a couple if they ever came out, it genuinely terrifies me.

I don’t want them to be looked at like freaks, or worse, so I am not able to bring myself to watch people react to them, in the same way I turn off when people have unwarranted shit to say when reacting to 875’s music. If they are a couple, I truly want them to be happy, safe, and become part of the Legendary Level ones. So, even though the world may not be fully ready to want their chapter in their history books, I hope it will someday,  because theirs would be such a motivating and enthralling chapter at that. 

I don’t know what will await them when they come out of ME. It is interesting though that JK made all these memories during the trip to take with himself and think about while serving. The snow he watched with JM, the restaurants they ate at, the time they tried skiing for the first time, the antics in the sauna and the “scuzzi”, the tuna-mayo gimbap he knew JM would love, the good afternoon and good night whiskey, and more. Now that I think about it, in some way, JK has a similar Love background to mine, he most likely wasn’t taught that romantic Love can come from someone of the same gender and he wasn’t exactly taught that not having children or a traditional family can be okay. 

Yet, I have a feeling that just like me, through movies perhaps, songs, or other means he’s figured out a thing or two. I have a feeling that he will decide for himself what Love is to himself, all the forms of Love he will need, who embodies Love for him, and what role Love will take in his life, and whether or not JM turns out to be that person MAKE NO MISTAKE: JM is an incredibly important person in his life. So, it is a strong feeling I have, but then again when has JK ever not taken control of his own life? When has he ever not followed his instincts and/or succumbed to what people want him to do? Same for JM really. 

These are two boys who found themselves in Seoul even though they were born in Busan, like, the universe wanted them to meet. They are two boys, who, along with the other five, made the phrase impossible Is Nothing feel real. After all, these are indeed two boys who really can’t be told to do anything. There is a very famous quote, which kinda makes me think of them:

I am the Master of my Fate, I am the Captain of my Soul.

So yeah, the future is uncertain but one thing is for sure, no relationship that took so long, so much care, and so many trails to build, can be so easily destroyed. So, fighting TwinFlame, whatever it is you want, you got this! 👊🏾.

Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💜,

Marengo.

PS - Dammit! I miss them so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[stayandot8]

Gentle Breeze (Ateez)

Genre: fluff

Relationship type: Yunho x fem reader

Important Contents: I made a promise to @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna a LONG time ago based on a dream she had and its about time I make good on it. So Bri, I hope you like it. Just for you. :)

WC: 882

masterlist

Summer had finally begun, meaning it was the perfect weather to be outside. Unfortunately for me, it also meant the Yunho and the boys had practice again. Every. Single. Day. No big deal for me, though. There was a big tree by the soccer field I was accustomed to sitting under with my headphones in, my playlist pinned to the top for frequent use in this exact situation. 

The trees swayed above me in the breeze, casting ever-moving shadows on me. The burning of the sun was lessened with these swaying trees, but that didn’t stop my skin from soaking up the rays it provided. My job forces me inside most days, working at one of the more popular hotels in town, so soaking up whatever vitamin D I could on my off days was prudent. The clouds were so puffy, they looked tangible, like I could touch them if I got high enough. They were such a pure white they rivaled Hongjoong’s new hair color. And his came from a box. 

Yunho and the others practicing a few feet away all sweaty and glistening was just an added bonus. A very nice bonus. I could hear them yelling whenever my music was changing to the next song. They would all yell and tease each other, sometimes resorting to physical teasing. Nothing ever more than playful shoves ever happened. There was nothing but jokes, teasing, and love between all of them, which made the college group of best friends the perfect group to enter when you started dating one. Of course, there was the occasional testing to you as well, but nothing you couldn’t handle. 

There was one day where Yunho couldn’t keep his hands off me, innocently of course. We were all out to the bar in the center of downtown, going out to celebrate something I couldn’t remember now. Yunho had me squished beside him, finding some way every minute or so to creep closer. His hands were playing with mine, running my fingernails across his palms and whatnot. I just stared at the sheer size of his hands, twice as big as mine it felt like. The other grasped the glass of beer and closed around the other side, his finger touching. They were good for other things too, which I had just found out the night before, so staring was involuntary. 

He nudged me when he caught me noticing. “I know what you’re doing and unless you want me to whisk you away to the bathroom of this very dingy bar, you better stop.” He kissed the top of my head and grinned down at me. I flashed him a knowing smile. “My hands could wrap around your thigh, couldn’t they?” His voice didn’t raise at the end of the sentence. It wasn’t a question. I lifted my thigh off the wooden booth we were sitting in, inviting him to try. “Ah, not quite. But they still look huge. I like that.” His innocent smile contradicted the mischief in his eyes for anyone who was looking close enough. Luckily for me, I was the only one looking at him. He pulled away slightly if only to glance San’s way, placing his hand on my shoulder and fully encasing it. I side-eyed it, noticing how fully it covered my whole shoulder. 

San noticed how large it was too. “Dude, she’s not going anywhere. You can let her breathe.” He said it lightly, but Yunho only grew closer again, his shoulder now firmly against my side and pushing me into the wall. 

“She’s my girlfriend, I can be as close to her as I want.” He didn’t take his eyes off me when he spoke, still with that innocent-not-innocent smile pointed directly at me. I shot one right back. His hand drifted down my arm to my waist and looped through my belt loop on my jeans. That was where it stayed all night. 

The memory drifted through my mind as I watched the wind push through the trees some more. The shouts from the field floated over along with the rustling of the material from Yunho's pants. I could feel his approach more than hear it at this point in our relationship. His shadow loomed over my closed eyes and I popped one open. 

“Jagi. The guys want to go out for some food. You wanna come?” He leaned down under the outside premise of grabbing his water bottle beside me, but I knew what he was actually doing. His lips brushed mine, droplets of sweat dripping down his forehead. “Plus they like you more than me so if you don’t come, then I can’t go. They want to see how you’ll roast Wooyoung for his new haircut.”

My one eye roamed over to Wooyoung, his hair styled in a weird ponytail-mullet combination. The words came and were ready to spill out. I smirked.“Let’s go.” He held out his hand and pulled, causing me to yelp as he pulled me up off the blanket. He gathered it all in his bag, tucking my book in carefully while I put my headphones back in their case. He held out one of those goddamn hands and closed it around mine, leading the way with his tall stature blocking the wind.

[miltonbarbie]

"Oh god, have you seen the new girl ?" South park headcanons with a really pretty+feminine Y/n <//3 (Requested)

(All characters are in highschool +aged up, about 14-15)

!! GIRLBOSS Y/N AU 😍🔊🔊

You always knew you were pretty, if beauty was a weapon, you would be locked and loaded. (Ginny and Georgia reference LMAO)

Your parents weren't the best, but they were filthy rich. So you had all the freedom you got, especially since being the only child can have its MANY perks. You would always go out with your friends to shopping malls, thrifts stores, salons, and allll thatt gooddd stufff

When you moved, you and your parents moved into this really big house. It costed an ass load of money but you could afford it, y'know, cause your rich n' shii.

When you knew it would be your first day at south park high, you got up at 5AM, curled your hair, did your makeup and put on your cutest outfit. Your pretty smile was the cherry on top. Of course, you missed your friends. But you were still excited to be going to a new school. Maybe your life could be better here. Without all the drama, and rumors spreading about you.

Once those doors opened, all eyes were on you. People were whispering and a few people even FAINTED. F A I N T E D. But you just laughed and brushed it off, you would always get these reactions from everyone. For you, this was normal. You already had all your classes set, and your locker was decorated to your liking. You owned the school now, and even the teachers accepted their fate.

Entering your classroom, you were most intrigued by four boys. A boy with black hair, a boy in an orange hoodie with blonde hair, a red head, and a very degrading boy with brown hair who seemed to really get on everyone's nerves.

Everyone stopped what they were doing, and for the first time in years, the classroom went silent. The same classroom those annoying boys (from what you heard) were in. You walked up to the front, and with a sickingly sweet smile and a pretty voice, you introduced yourself.

You twirled your hair, made eye contact, and spoke with perfect confidence. And the whole class, was instantly flustered by your beauty. Cartman decided what would happen if he tried messing with you. He pulled your chair, which Kyle pushed back before you could sit down. And he even tried spitting gum in your hair, but missed when you bent down to grab your pencil. He was getting pretty annoyed since he couldn't do anything, but he wanted to try one last thing.

Insulting you infront of the whole school.

You were sitting in the cafeteria. With Wendy, Bebe, Clyde, Tweek and Craig. You all were giggling and having fun until Cartman screamed your name across the room, making everyone turn heads.

"Hey Wh0re! What's it like being the center of attention?" | "Excuse me? Would you care to say that again?" | "You heard me, bitch." | "Sorry, Eric. But I dont really think I wanna be wasting my time listening to bullshit from a cocky fatass."

The room started laughing so hard, Cartman's face was turning red. He got played by his own game. Gave him a slap in the face with that one. Kyle's drink was literally about to explode out his nose and you just sat there, face to face, smiling at Cartman.

God you were such a Girlboss, and a total hottie.

The girls (Wendy's girlgroup) Invited you for a sleepover at Bebe's house, and you accepted right away! You had made friends with the entire school in just one day, I think it's pretty obvious that your the most popular girl in school now.

♡

At the sleepover, you and the girls shared your music tastes. After you shared your playlist with everyone, they blasted your music on Wendy's radio. <//3 Melanie martinez -> Taylor swift -> Lana del rey -> MARINA -> Nessa Barret, and all the latest pop songs!

(Until the guys decided to break into the sleepover, and they had to stay over as well.)

[tom-whore-dleston]

(moodboard or fic or whatever you’re feeling up to bby)

i crave seeing this man be put in situations you wouldn’t automatically think to put him in, so give me frat boy!adam warlock who only joined because his parents made him, ya know legacy and all that + the philosophy student who is the opposite of someone you’d ever see at a frat but gets roped into helping him pass a class!

Creations: select a hottie + scenario/AU/trope/prompt** and I will a playlist/moodboard/fic (please specify the creation you are requesting)

join the celebration!

hjasfghjkdhga now hold on bc fratboy!Adam sounds so hot I'd drop the last bit of my morals for 24 hours with him 😩 I have a million headcanons running thru my mind rn so we'll start off with some light appetizers 😜 sorry this took a million years to write and that its so frickin long 😭

First and foremost, Adam wears crop tops and short shorts unironically and he fuckin ROCKS them! All the other frat boys don't look as good as him

He also wears gold chains bc why tf not

His parents met in the partnering fraternity and sorority that did charities and events. They then got married and had Adam straight out of college. Since the birth of Adam, his parents had it set in stone that he would work hard to attend the same university and join the same fraternity as his father.

As an underclassman, Adam genuinely enjoyed the frat life. His parents were proud of him. He was dating Gamora, the most popular girl in the sorority and of course another legacy. He was basically set to become president of the fraternity by his senior year.

At the beginning of his junior year, his whole world flipped upside down. His father died suddenly, and Ayesha was having a hard time grieving. On top of that, Gamora left Adam for Peter Quill, current president and Adam's arch nemesis.

All this caused Adam's straight A's turn to straight D's. With Quill as president, he threatened to kick Adam out the fraternity if he didn't bring his grades up.

And this is where you come in.

You are the top student in yours and Adam's philosophy class. It kinda helps that you are a philosophy major and always leading discussions during lectures. All your classmates were annoyed of you talking the professor's ears off, except for Adam. Without anyone's knowledge, he would jot down your talking points in case they would be useful in the future.

After the second exam of the semester, he finally approaches you after class, asking you to tutor him. Without hesitation, you agree, mainly because you have always seen him in your classes and found him attractive.

During your study sessions, you both got to know one another, realizing you have more in common with each other than Adam did with Gamora. He eventually confesses to you that he didn't care all that much about the frat life and he willingly agreed to rush because of his parents. You reveal to him that your parents practically disowned you after going to a college away from home and majoring in anything outside of law or medicine. You and Adam almost shared a kiss that night. That was until your best friend and Gamora's step sister, Nebula, came home from work.

Adam invites you to one of his frat parties where you're stuck to his hip the whole time. A drunk Quill encounters Adam, constantly harassing you throughout the night. Fed up with Quill's antics, Adam and you finally leave.

That was until Quill said, "Once you get tired of Adam's dumbass, you know where to find me. It won't be the first time a girl realized I'm ten times the man Adam Warlock will ever be."

Adam was ready to beat his ass, but you pushed him to the side, strutting towards Quill and back-handed slapped him across the face, sending him to the floor. You stoop down to Quill's level, muttering through gritted teeth, "You're right. Adam will never be you because he isn't some scumbag like you." Then, you took someone's cup of beer and poured it all over Quill before leaving with Adam.

As Adam was dropping you off at your apartment, he pulled you into a heated kiss and thanked you for standing up for him. When you shut the door behind you, you did a happy dance which Nebula caught you in the middle of. This, then led to you both staying up the rest of the night to spill the details of the party until you and Adam kissed.

Next week in class, Adam surprised you with your usual coffee order from the cafe on campus. On the coffee cup, there was a message that wrote:

"Dinner and movie at 7? I could use a study break :)"

Your face was warm from smiling so hard. You couldn't wait to finally go on a real date with Adam and neither could he.

Adam showed up to your apartment with a bouquet of flowers. You had to do a double take because it was the first time you haven't seen Adam wearing shorts and a crop top. He wore a buttoned shirt with jeans and his hair was neatly combed back.

"What happened? Did you run out of shirts that show off your abs?" You joked, leading to Adam picking you up and spinning you in the air before kissing you sweetly.

"Gotta look nice for my girl, you know."

You raise an eyebrow, taking the bouquet from him. "Your girl?" You curled your lips inward to hide the goofy smile on your face.

"Is it okay if I call you that?"

"Only if it's okay for me to call you my boy."

The date proceeds and it consists of a lot of hand holding, kissing, and you laying your head on Adam's shoulder. At the end of the date, it was obvious neither of you wanted it to end. While making out in his car, Adam reached for the bottom of your shirt, trying to pull it over your head until you stopped him.

Adam's face was full of concern. "I'm sorry, I should have asked if you were okay with this. I don't want you to think-"

You interrupted him by pressing your lips to his. "Don't worry, Adam. You didn't do anything wrong." You looked over at the window of your apartment, realizing no light came from inside. "Do you want to come inside? Nebula is most likely out for the rest of the night."

With that, Adam followed you into your apartment. You two barely made it into the bedroom before your hands and lips were all over one another. You fucked on the sofa before moving to the bedroom to cuddle.

As you were dozing off, Adam whispered, "I think I'm gonna quit the frat."

Now you were wide awake. "Why? I thought you loved it."

"For a while I did. I felt like I had to care for my parents. Now that we are halfway through junior year, none of that matters anymore." Adam paused to move your hair out of your face. "Besides, I'm thinking about applying to work at the cafe. My girl deserves all the free coffee I can make her for the rest of our college years."

"You are the sweetest." You kissed Adam on his forehead. "Whatever you want to do, I'll support you along the way."

[epicthemusical]

Hi I am very new to the Epic fandom and I'm curious to know what all the big ships are (if there are any. Tbh I've had enough of shipping wars for a while), or if there's anything else I need to know for interacting in the fandom space

okay phew this is gonna be a lot and i have enlisted my EPIC friends to make this is accurate i can. first off nicknames we use a lot. Eurylochus us Eury, Odysseus is Ody, Perimedes is often called Peri of course Penelope is often called Pen. you might see mention of Diomedes which is based more in the original Illiad which we call Dio. hmm think thats about all now onto ships

odypen (Odysseus x Penelope) ofc self explanatory applies to both EPIC and original sources

eurymene (Eurylochus x Ctimene) they are not mentioned in EPIC but yeah Ctimene is also Ody sister making Eury and Ody brothers in law

diodypen (Diomedes x Odysseus x Penelope) based more on the original source of The Odyssey/Illiad but will be mentioned in EPIC communities

odydio (Odysseus x Diomedes) again based more on original source but could be mentioned

telestratus (Telemachus x Peseistratus) again based on original source but will be mentioned at times

odypoli (Odysseus x Polites) EPIC based one of my personal favorites and a pretty popular ship not much else to say Perenor, Perinorpoli, Peripoli, ect (Perimedes x Elpenor, Perimedes x Elpenor x Polites, Perimedes x Polites) basically any combination of these three is a ship. this is caused by some cut song snippets Jorge has shared specifically Cope with That and a mention that originally Polites x Perimedes were supposed to be a thing

antimachus (Telemachus x Antinous) This is a toxic ship when it comes to EPIC cannon

Another big fandom thing that isnt really everybody cup of tea is something called the Manwore AU started by Anniflamma a big animator/artist within EPIC were basically Ody sleeps with everyone as a way to make it through his journey. I will mention that Ody does NOT cheat on Penelope in either EPIC or the original sources.

Polites Eury and Ody are childhood friends

people will often mention pancakes and Polites together that is from the Cyclops saga.

One of the problems in the fandom is a lot of people bashing Eury for his actions i personally dont like bashing characters since i believe every character made mistakes and messed up so no one character deserves to be blamed but you can form your own opinions on this.

Fans of EPIC are called winions which is short for wind minions shown in the Ocean Saga and is often related to the Lotus eater creatures

Big artists/animators for EPIC include Gigi, Aniflamma, Mircsy (prounounced merchy), Gwendy, Wolfythewitch, and a newer one called Neal

Playlist of EPIC animatics/animations in order (Vengeance saga is the livestream since its so new and not all the songs have animations yet)

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGNbMhyzUajd-DZadE_QzvBwpYr2J8_J2&si=nXBZSJQPXBnW-DnF

overall this community is actually one of the better to exist and for the most part except for a minority everyone is open and supportive so feel free to share your thoughts and creations. We have a ton of very creative and talented people and we welcome you to the EPIC community UwU

[formosusiniquis]

Water is wet, the sky is blue, and Eddie Munson is a music snob.

Sure, he listens to more music than Steve even knew existed. Sure, he can curate a playlist that gets you from Korn to Disney without it feeling jarring. Sure, he can give you a full college quality lecture on the history of modern rock and metal and how it can all be traced back to the blues.

But he’s also the same guy who brutally eviscerates anything that even approaches popularity. He’s watched Eddie drop bands the second their music starts making radio play because it’s a short trip to an album that’s been engineered in a lab for maximum radio play.

An educated music snob is still a snob is the point.

But the rest of their friend group is also a collection of snobs and bitches, so when Eddie suggested they do a Spotify Wrapped viewing party it quickly became an annual tradition. They all make sure they have the night off when the Wrapped drops, meeting up at Steve’s house where they spend the night stuffing their faces and roasting each other for the music that made up their soundtrack to the year.

Eddie the Snobbish is of course the most vocal critic.

“Girl in Red, Buckley, really? There is such a thing as leaning too far into the stereotype.”

“Get fucked, Munson, they’re my number five.”

“And your number two is Hayley Kiyoko, but she’s actually good so I kept her out of it. Honestly, it’d be faster to just shout from the rooftops that you’re queer.”

“Yeah, yeah, wait ‘til we get to you, Eddie.”

“I drew 7 so you’ll have to wait a little bit longer.

It goes like that all night. Eddie makes at least one comment about each person’s wrapped as the night goes on. But then everyone takes at least one crack at the others. From listen time to top genres nothing is safe and nothing is sacred. Sometimes the only comment needed is the sounds of nine other people shrieking in laughter because Accidentally in Love from the Shrek 2 soundtrack cracked your top 5.

“Seriously, Sinclair, the rest of it is so good!”

“I refuse to be critiqued by the same man I caught singing Nickelback last week.”

“Damn, seeing the family resemblance between you and Lady Applejack now.”

Sometimes his mockery is flavored like concern.

“William, the top .05% of Mitski listeners? Do you need help? Should we call your mom? This feels like a cry for help.”

“She’s classically trained, musically a genius. Sorry, we can’t all spend our time listening to Ozzy struggle through a basic melody.”

And Eddie isn’t afraid to get other people in on his snobbery.

“Ten bucks, Stevie, your little Dusty has Weird Al in his top 5.”

“I don’t make bets, I know I’m going to lose. That’d be like saying ‘I bet he’s going to have Neverending Story in his top 5’, it’s practically guaranteed.”

Robin’s not as afraid to get involved, “Five bucks, Neverending Story is his number 1.”

“Oh you’re on, Bucks, no way it’s not a parody.”

They’re both wrong, deciding that neither is out the money, and Steve wishing he had gone ahead and bet when it turns out to be a movie instrumental. “He can’t listen to music with words when he’s building shit, and he’s always tinkering with something in his room.”

“It was from the Neverending Story soundtrack, I still think that means I win.”

“Absolutely not.”

It’s always a big moment when it’s finally Eddie’s turn, he’s the whole reason they had to start drawing their places at random. He spends so much time talking shit about everyone else’s music taste that by the time his turn rolls around half the group is ravenous, a pack of feral dogs snarling at a feast before them,  ready to give him a taste of his own medicine.

The earliest bits are the most boring. The strange emotion tags are always a little jarring, though no one is surprised when spooky makes its way onto Eddie’s. It’s a little concerning just how much time Eddie is clocking on Spotify, “Over 40,000 minutes, Eddie, that’s almost an entire month.”

“How come your math is never that quick when you’re adding up your damage, Henderson?”

And then Spotify helpfully announces that Eddie Munson's most played song of the year is Head Over Heels by Tears for fucking Fears, clocking in at 267 plays. 

It could go without saying that all hell then breaks loose, but then not saying it makes it sound like a regular amount of hell is breaking loose. And not the kind of hell that can only come from a room full of people who show their affection through ruthless teasing and mockery finding a massive hole in the armor of someone who had spent most of their friendship unassailable.

It’s mean. It’s targeted. It’s the standard brand of teasing that this group is built on.

It would be a lot funnier if Eddie, someone who is normally pretty good about taking the same kind of shit that he deals out, didn’t look like he wanted the floor to swallow him up.

The jokes all reach a logical end. The kids have a killer’s instinct when it comes to weakness, but they’re soft where it counts, and there’s not a joke in the world that’s still funny when it’s being laughed at instead of with.

And Steve, normally the first to tease Eddie about his dad rock playlist can’t think of a single thing to say that isn’t going to come out, “Why was your day with the most listens right after the weekend trip we took for my birthday?”

That wasn’t going to be, “Do you want this the way that I do?”

The rest of the reveal is standard, nearly 19 hours of playtime does put Tears for Fears in the 5th spot of Eddie’s Top Artists but no one comments on it. Steve doesn’t even make fun of Eddie for being the only person under 40 to still listen to Metallica.

Because he’s finally found something to say that isn’t going to come out, “Do you know someone else who only listens to new wave or do listen to that song and think about me?”

“I’m going next.” Eddie finally, finally, makes eye contact with him instead of staring out into the middle distance. Maybe his announcement does sound more like, ‘let me say it back.’

“Steve, you drew last. Nancy’s next.”

Nancy, who knows him uniquely. Knows him in a way that no one, except maybe Eddie one day, ever will. Nancy cuts through the bullshit decisively. “Steve can go next.”

“No appreciation for the rules, why do we even have them?”

Steve does not give a single shit about his wrapped outside of it being a source of amusement for his friends. His taste in music is as close to nonexistent as it gets and, really, if he’s going to listen to something he’s probably going to pick a book over music if he’s by himself.

Except this year.

The teasing is a little tamer now. Normally, Steve is happy to take the brunt of it. 

From Eddie picking at his lack of taste. “Pick a genre, Steve, god.” 

To the kids joining in because they want to impress Eddie, “Can you even listen to the playlist without getting whiplash? I Will Survive to Part of Your World, jeez.” Nevermind that they’re both basically power ballads, and Wheeler can mock but I Will Survive was the soundtrack to his break up with Nance and sometimes he wants to be both nostalgic and angry-sad. 

This year is quiet, like they’re worried they went too far with Eddie and now they’re afraid to take shots at their other favorite babysitter.

It’s fine. Steve has pretty much unfailingly had one song playing at any point anymore. Maybe it took him a little longer than April, but he knows without a doubt what his top song of the year is going to be.

Eddie takes the armchair for Wrapped nights, he’s the meanest normally and says he wants to be out of the direct line of fire of any noogies or Robin’s lethal elbows. It means Steve has to reach to kick the side of the chair to make sure Eddie is watching.

Rainbow in the Dark was Steve’s number one song this year with 171 plays.

And maybe it would be appropriate to say that all hell breaks loose once again. Steve wouldn’t really know, too busy staring at Eddie. He’s in the eye of the storm now, while chaos breaks out around him Steve can only wait to see how Eddie reacts.

Wonders if that pink blush is because Eddie realizes that the day he repeated it the most was right after he heard Eddie play it for the first time. Fell asleep to it playing on repeat, thinking about Eddie’s fingers and Eddie’s smile, drowning out the sounds of fireworks that still trigger panic.

"It makes me think of you," Eddie, brave and shy and only hiding part of his face behind his hair, answers the only question Steve needed answered.

"Yeah," he agrees, hoping it sounds less like a breathless demand for reassurance and more like, 'listening to this song all year was the closest I could get to imagining what it could be like having you.'

"Yeah." And Steve hears, 'I  still expect to be wined and dined, Harrington.' Maybe because it's the kind of silly request Eddie would make, or maybe he just likes giving the people he cares about everything he can.

"But seriously, Stevie, why the fuck is Careless Whisper in your top 5? It should be a crime for Dio and George Michael to be that close together."

[queerofcups]

no one has ever (or at least not recently) asked me about the titles of my fic, i'm stealing this idea from sekrit because a. i think sekrit is cool (@skrtomg), b. i actually already have a playlist of nearly ever fic i've ever titled and c. i like this kind of personal record keeping and archival work. the vast, vast majority of my fic titles are from songs and you'll quickly notice i like re-contextualizing or just futzing around with them. maybe i'll include the lines songs come from when they're relevant? we'll see. (links are to the songs, not the fics).

my fairly eclectic taste in music is one of the things that i love most about myself and i think its...not really on show here, hah. i promise i listen to more than 30-40 year old white men who are just like, regretting some things man.

a long night is alright (glee, 2009) so a hot kiss is alright / so a long kiss is alright / so a long night is alright / and all night is alright

Tightrope (the bear, whether you're high or low/ you got to tip on the tightrope / T-t-t-t-tip on the tightrope

(tried to) let go my lover (p-valley, i tried to let go my lover / thought if i was alone / then maybe i could recover

your candle, your statuette (schitt's creek, so i'll be your candle / i'll be your statuette / i'll be your lashing loop of leatherette / o philomena / if only you'd let me go down

starting from zero, nothing to lose (shameless any place is better / starting from zero, got nothing to lose / maybe we'll something / me, myself, i got nothing to prove

invisible and weightless (challengers, 2024) don't have a sunnyside to face this / i am invisible and weightless / you can't imagine how i hate this

the table, set and shining (challengers, 2024) call your boys / now that the table's set and shining / no one seen any of them in many days

(also that series is titled sometimes friends are mean)

you and your (perfect) girls (omgcp, 2024) If this what you truly want, I can wear her skin…over mine. Her hair, over mine. Her hands as gloves. Her teeth as confetti. Her scalp, a cap. Her sternum, my bedazzled cane. We can pose for a photograph. All three of us, immortalized. You and your perfect girl.

(tell everyone) you were a good wife (omgcp, 2020) in my life / i hope i lie / and tell everyone you were a good wife / and i hope you die / i hope we both die

do you still take a long time to get ready? (iwtv, 2024) do you till take a long time to get ready? / cause you used to make too much / out of that kind of stuff

a lush little miss (iwtv, 2024) We knocked on the door and it opened with ease / And a lush little miss said, "Come in, please" / And before we could even bat an eye / We were right in the middle of a big fish fry

rubbing ghost on ghost (iwtv, 2024) they were rubbing on each other / rubbing ghost on ghost / there were junked out punks and Jesus freaks

Right so, I’ve posted 79 fics in phandom and i’m simply not doing all those fics, particularly because most of the titles aren’t even that interesting? So I grabbed some of the most popular ones and my faves and if you’re just dying to know about that one fic, send me an ask or something.

shapes and weights to choose (phandom, 20??) Made of plastic and elastic / He is rugged and long-lasting / Who could ever, ever ask for more? / Love without complications galore / Many shapes and weights to choose from / I will never leave my bedroom

unashamed, wide open for joy (phandom, 2017)

out with the dumps, in with the condom'd orgasmic friend-- still rubbery muscular, unashamed wide open for joy hard times, baby (phandom, 2018) I'm gonna reach Gloria / She’s holding her hand to me / You gotta little of the hard times baby / Hard times baby

lost the map (phandom 2019) And it's true that I stole your lighter / And it's also true that I lost the map / /But when you said that I wasn't worth talking to / I had to take your word on that

now what have we learned? basically nothing! i love (a) parenthesis. titling fics is the very last thing i do and sometimes its a well thought out title that's connected to the fic and sometimes it just like, what i was listening to at the time. The Decemberists are the most represented in terms of titling but i think that's just because they're so incredibly verbose, its easy to clip something from their lyrics that seems to Say Something.

[whatrulisteningto]

Nu Genea's Bar Mediterraneo: My Personal Album of the Summer

Nu Genea's newest album Bar Mediterraneo was released in 2022 and thanks to Reddit, I found it this summer and it created the perfect vibes for all 3 beautiful months of it. This 9-song, 35-minute album doesn't seem a lot for one summer but based on the first song you can get a taste of what the rest of the album is going to be like. With each song is another vision that I'm going to share but also a personal connection I developed with the song over the summer. I also want to show that you don't need to understand Italian to feel this song.

This two-man band DJs Massimo Di Lena and Lucio Aquilina. Nu Genea is not necessarily underground or unknown; rather, they are very popular in Italy, specifically Napoli. The band was founded in Napoli.

The first song is the same name as the album and it starts with a chill funky groove. I have visions of riding bikes down the boardwalk of a beach. It’s a perfect intro to what the rest of the album is going to be about. For me personally, I only listen to this song when listening to the album so I dont have any connection to it but that still doesn't knock it down as being a wonderful song.

Tienate is my second favorite song on this album. With its up beat feel and I dont even know Italian but I still love this song. I feel this with playing football on the beach, with this song to give you more than enough energy to keep going. I was in Kenya when I was listening to this song the most so every time I listen to this song I see my family and hiking the beautiful national parks my country is known for.

Gelbi is a song with a collaboration with Marzouk Mejri and instead of Italian its spoken in Arabic. This song makes me want to lie down on an Italian Beach sipping on a pina colada. In the song, you can hear a wonderful blend of the band's mix of Arabia's popular genre “Habibi Funk”. This song flows well with the flutes, strings, and beautiful harmonization of all singers. This song reminds me of lying down on Mombasa beach or playing with both my little brothers finding treasures (that I hid).

Before I found the album I found the song Marechia. From some random guy on Reddit when I was looking for more albums like Aruther Verocai’s self-titled album (which I will be doing a review on someday). This song's guitar riff is something more heavenly and energizing.

It’s as if coffee was put into a song. The beautiful percussion and nice progression of the song will always hold a nice spot in my playlists. I always played this song before playing football at my nearby field and it made me feel like I was about to play like Ronaldinho (I played like Harry Maguire). Regardless this song will always have good memories attached to making friends, having fun, and enjoying the nature around me.

Now onto the fifth song of this project Straneiro. If I were to rank the album this song would probably be at the bottom not because I dislike it but because it brings similar vibes previous and future songs will bring but I feel like this song does not deliver to the same high as others. Not necessarily bad but when surrounded by gold you tend to notice the reflection of silver. Though this song has a quality I could only describe as wavy. With its nice relaxed percussion and simple lyrics it's definitely a good background song when working. Maybe another reason I don't like this song as much is because I was washing dishes every time I listened to this song so possibly some biases.

Praja Magia is another song I did not listen to unless I was listening to the song as a whole but taking another listen, it is a very easy song with a funky synth, a classic piano, and relaxing vocals. The song feels more like an interlude or filler up until the bridge where we hear what I believe to be a sax.

Another song I did not listen to often but after another listen Vesuvio is the epitome of a footballer's anthem. With a beat that sounds to be influenced by bossa nova, a synth that can get another jumping and a simple beat that almost anyone can freestyle to this song. 

Rire is to laugh in Italian and this song is meant to laugh while being played. I feel like this beat is best to be described as jumpy with soothing vocals. Meant to be listened to while having fun. This summer song has a wonderful chorus with woodwinds that goes with the synth. This song feels old and futuristic whilst all being fun. 

Last but not least La Crisi. With a beautiful lazy and relaxed piano as well as vocals that make you wanna sing along. This still brings the vibes of the entire album but with a wonderful ending that feels like watching the sunset over the horizon. In a sense you had a good day ready to do it all again tomorrow.

The entire album feels old and new at the same time. Which I believe gives it a timeless feel regardless if you speak Italian or Arabic. With these blends of so many genres, the quality of the production is amazing.  they did it whilst making an album that could be accepted into any summer playlists.

#nugenea #songs #music #albums #bar mediterraneo #italiano #italianmusic

https://twitter.com/nu_genea

https://say-yes.eu/artist/nu-genea

https://ra.co/dj/nugenea

https://www.instagram.com/nu_genea/

[lacefuneral]

hi!!! i love for custom blog theme,, do you have a link to the code or creator 0:?

ya!

so my theme is actually a heavily modified version of redux edit #1 by lopezhummel (current url: holyaura). i always remind users that most tumblr themes are old and that you'll need to replace all instances of "http://" in the code with "https://" so tumblr will save the theme. i had to do it with this one

these are the modifications i made to the theme. i edited this theme over the course of at least a year or so and don't quite recall how i did all of these things. but to the best of my ability:

i moved the "left side img" to the right side of the screen. i also made this element "responsive" so the image will never get cropped when you resize your screen. this was a bitch and a half to figure out and i truthfully do not remember how i did it

i deleted the text in the drop-down navigation so it appears as a little line that is otherwise not noticeable. this type of theme, the "redux edit," used to be very popular because having a drop-down menu let you cram a bunch of links that lead to sub-pages on your blog. i've done away with my sub-pages, but i still like the format of the "redux style" tumblr theme, for its minimal UI and for its customization options.

i separated my mobile description from my web description for formatting reasons. basically, most elements in tumblr themes are connected to specific text fields and toggles. i simply went to the section that was connected to my blog description and deleted it. the web description has to be manually typed inside of the CSS/HTML editor when i want to change it. whereas my mobile description is whatever i type in the "description" box of the normal tumblr theme editors.

i added code someone else made ("NoPo" by drannex42 on GitHub) which allows you to hide posts with certain tags on them. i did this to hide my pinned post, as it looks bad on desktop.

i replaced the tiny pagination arrows at the bottom with images that literally say "next" and "back" because the arrows were far too small/illegible. i know they aren't centered in the container i'm not sure how to fix that lol

i added a cursor

i installed a working music box ("music player #3" by glenthemes), and then added music by uploading MP3 files to discord and then using the links of those files as the audio sources. iirc i also had to make this element responsive and i aligned it so it would sit on the left side of my screen. i made the "album art" for each one the same strawberry pixel art

the moth is just a PNG i added and then moved around so it was behind my sidebar using the options that came pre-packaged with the theme

if you want something like the strawberry shortcake decoration at the top (called "banner" in the theme) your best bet is to google "pixel divider"

theme didn't support favicon so i added that in so i could have a little heart

ALSO:

this theme is. really weird about backgrounds. any background that i have ever set for it, i've had to do weird shit in photoshop. like making the background HUGE, mirroring it, etc. - because it would crop the image weird, or there would be a gap where there was no image. idk man, it's haunted. i'm sure there's a way to fix this but i am NOT tech savvy enough. anyway, patterns are probably your best friend. and if you DO want something that isn't a pattern, it's going to take a lot of trial and error. but i love this theme so i deal with it 😭

the sidebar image and the floating image do not scale. if your image is 1000 pixels, it will display at 1000 pixels. you'll either have to edit the code so that the theme scales the image for you, or resize any images before you add them

my white whale of theme editing (aside from the Weird Background thing) is that i cannot get infinite scrolling to work. i have tried every code out there. all of them break my theme. it makes me sad because like. i have music there for a reason. the idea is that people would listen to it while they scroll. unfortunately, the way it's set up now, the music will stop every time someone clicks "next" or "back" 💀

anyway sorry for rambling but i hope you enjoy the the theme and customizing it in the way that you want to!

[likeadaydreamorafever]

Mischa Sunday Telegraph Interview

Why Mischa Barton said yes to surprise role on Neighbours

She was the star of the hottest teen drama of the noughties, but The O.C’s Mischa Barton shocked everyone when she signed on to the revival of Aussie soap Neighbours. Now she exclusively reveals to Stellar why she gave up work in the US for a show she’d never seen in suburban Melbourne.

After starring in the hottest teen drama of the noughties and being idolised for her every fashionable move, Mischa Barton surprised everyone when she signed up for some suburban drama on Australia’s most famous cul-de-sac in a revival of Neighbours. But then the British-born, US-based actor – who started her career on the stage and in soap operas – has never relished the role Hollywood chose for her. In an exclusive interview with Stellar, the 37-year-old recalls being cast in The O.C. because she “wasn’t anything like the other young blonde girls going in and trying out” and reveals how she’s taken charge of her own narrative.

Craning her neck forward, Mischa Barton lets out a squeal of excitement as she hears the first bars of Neighbours actor Stefan Dennis’ 1989 single ‘Don’t It Make You Feel Good’ emanate from a mobile phone. “I’m adding that to my playlist!” she exclaims with a throaty laugh, before plotting how she will tease Dennis on the Neighbours set the next day, her first suggestion being that she might just broadcast the tune loudly in her dressing room.

While Barton was a fan of Kylie Minogue before joining the Neighbours cast, she was far less familiar with the era-typifying swerve into pop music made by Dennis (who has been playing the show’s “villain” Paul Robinson since 1985), let alone its reputation for turning out future Australian music superstars. As such, she can confidently say it’s “very, very unlikely” that her 10-week stint on Ramsay Street was motivated by a secret desire to follow in the footsteps of Minogue, Natalie Imbruglia, Delta Goodrem or even Dennis.

So if not music, then what did prompt the former star of the early 2000s teen drama The O.C. to say yes to a stint in suburban Melbourne working on a show that she has never seen, and that has no cultural footprint in the US, where she lives?

Certainly for Network 10, adding Barton to the cast was a shrewd move to create buzz when the series returns later this month, resurrected just over a year after its 37-year run came to an end and also airing for the first time in the US and Canada via Amazon’s streaming service Freevee (as well as streaming in Australia and New Zealand on Amazon Prime). For Barton, who wasn’t yet born when Neighbours debuted in 1985, it was a serendipitous chance to try something new, as well as reconnect with some old friends in Australia.

When Stellar spoke to Barton in June, a week before she returned to the US, she explained the role had “come at a really good time, because while I was loving living in New York, there’s a writers’ strike on. And it’s [Northern Hemisphere] summertime. So there’s really not that much work going around for a lot of my actor friends.”

Of course, the Hollywood actors’ strike – which was called in mid-July – has also compounded the issue for Barton’s fellow actors. However, practicality and picket lines aside, the real lure for Barton was the role of Reece Sinclair, a wealthy American who arrives in Erinsborough under the guise of doing business – but in reality, has a much more personal agenda to fulfil. “And then she falls for a guy,” Barton says with a smile. “It actually just felt like a very good fit for me in terms of a role I could really play. And I don’t always feel that way with television.”

Her sentiment is understandable given the 37-year-old’s most high-profile project since leaving The O.C. in 2006 was her surprising gear-shift into reality TV on The Hills: New Beginnings. A sequel to the popular MTV series that followed the daily lives of TV personalities Brody Jenner, Audrina Patridge, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, it was sold to her as an opportunity to let people see “the real Mischa Barton”. Ultimately, she felt let down by the process.

“Would I do it again? Probably not something like The Hills,” Barton tells Stellar. “I think they’re even continuing to try to do it, but it just wasn’t really all the things that were promised around it, like clearing up any misconceptions or getting people to know you. There are just people putting

on too many fronts and they’re not being themselves. So if people aren’t being themselves, it’s impossible because I’m used to having a script. That middle ground is just too trying for me. It’s partially scripted but it’s not, but they can’t really say that. So it wasn’t my favourite experience.

“But I’ve never been attracted to that kind of fame, either,” she adds. “It’s not something that I chase. I actually veer away from it.”

Fame has long been an uncomfortable by-product of Barton’s chosen career. Asked whether she’s grateful to have become a celebrity in an era when smartphones couldn’t capture her every move, Barton sighs wearily. “You can always play the grass is greener thing, and I just don’t feel that way,” she says. “I mean, in a sense, it would have been much easier for me if there had been social media to combat all the ludicrous stories in the press. Now, kids can really show their own narrative. You can use your own social media to be whoever you want to be.”

She qualifies her reply after a brief pause: “At the same time, I don’t really love social media. So I’m fine with having come up in a time when it wasn’t around and things were, in one sense, a lot simpler.”

That’s why, rather than opting for a luxury hotel suite, Barton relished staying in a relatively humble cottage nestled behind Melbourne’s bustling Chapel Street for the duration of her time filming Neighbours. There, she could cook meals for friends, do her own laundry and, when her schedule allowed, walk to the Prahran Market to pick up fresh fruit and veg. She also found time to indulge in a bit of shopping, and admits that she would be going home with far heavier suitcases than when she arrived. “I really liked a vintage store I found there,” she says of Chapel Street, which is known for its eclectic mix of high-end boutiques and second-hand clothing markets. “I did a lot of damage in there.”

Filming in Australia meant such excursions could be enjoyed without being recognised or photographed, and added a layer of protection for Barton, who has learnt the tricks to staying incognito – the easiest being to steer clear of bars and clubs where people inevitably want selfies.

Avoiding unwanted attention wasn’t always so easy. When The O.C. first aired in 2003, it catapulted Barton and the rest of her young co-stars into a searing spotlight of adulation and attention. For someone who had been acting steadily since she was eight – making her screen debut in the US soap opera All My Children in 1994, and going on to appear in two of the biggest films of 1999, M. Night Shyamalan’s thriller The Sixth Sense and Richard Curtis’ hit romance Notting Hill – the sudden and frenzied interest in both The O.C. and her personal life was a shock to the system.

“I was 17 or 18 and it was a very specific kind of fame,” Barton recalls. “Most actors, they can work their whole lives and have a very normal level of notoriety or fame. But, for some reason, The O.C. was just one of those things. It was a time and a place, and it just took off in a very different direction. It was kind of an uncontrollable beast. But I’ve been in this industry for a long time and managed, for a large portion of it, to get away with just living a very normal life.”

Both Barton and her character, rich girl Marissa Cooper, became fashion icons of the time, with the actor regularly centre stage on red carpets and front row at fashion weeks, while young girls everywhere mimicked her onscreen style of low-slung jeans and spaghetti-strap tops.

Recalling her time in the fashion spotlight and the pressures to look a certain way in Hollywood, she says she’s “learnt how to get away from it. I don’t really live in LA anymore, so I don’t put myself under that constant scrutiny and pressure. I’ll only dip into [the Hollywood scene] when I feel like it’s healthy and something I want to do.”

Even so, Barton recalls how a “bizarre amount” of people found it hard to separate the British-born and New York-raised Barton from the quintessential Californian teenager she portrayed. “People were obsessed with Marissa Cooper,” she says. “I’d get sent a lot of [scripts] that are rehashes of her. And I was always like, ‘Do you not realise that’s actually not something I like to play?’ I didn’t really enjoy having to play that character. I had to find my own version of Marissa and I think the real reason I was cast is because I wasn’t really anything like the other young blonde girls going in and trying out for it.”

Barton left the show in its third season in 2006, when Marissa died in a shocking car crash. The series’ creator Josh Schwartz recently told Vanity Fair that he regretted killing off her character, saying he wished he’d found a way to give Barton “the break she needed and wanted that still would’ve allowed for that character to return”.

Fans say The O.C. never recovered from Barton’s departure, but the death scene – in which Marissa’s body is carried from the flames by her longtime love Ryan Atwood (Ben McKenzie) – is etched into TV history.

“I’ve only just rewatched that scene recently,” Barton admits. “I never watched it after I did it because there was really no reason to, but I just did the podcast [Welcome To The OC, Bitches!, hosted by her former co-stars Rachel Bilson and Melinda Clarke, who played her best friend Summer Roberts and mother Julie Cooper] and we rewatched it together, and it was weirdly emotional. I was like, ‘Oh, I forgot the car is on fire.’ And I forgot there’s no music playing for once in the show. It was done in a really interesting way.”

Despite the enduring affection the public still has for the series, Barton isn’t sure that a reboot of The O.C. would work for audiences today. “It’s not like it hasn’t come up before, but obviously, I’m dead,” she says with a smile. “Honestly, it’s more likely to work as an offshoot of it or something based around those characters that’s not exactly the same, rather than trying to simply resurrect them. You’d have to think outside the box if you want to resurrect The O.C. culture or characters.”

And while The O.C. featured former Neighbours co-star Alan Dale, who played his screen dad and is one of his good mates, Dennis had never seen the US series. He was only aware that Barton – or, as he knew her, “the vomiting girl from The Sixth Sense” – was coming to Ramsay Street.

“[I thought], ‘Oh, here we go, they’ve cast a Hollywood hero to show us how it’s done,’” Dennis admits to Stellar. “There was a cautious shyness initially as she was alone on the other side of the world, thrown into a building full of people she didn’t know and working day-by-day in a show she didn’t know or understand the way it worked. This cautious shyness was misread by me. I now like to think we have cemented a long-term friendship.”

Another castmate, Annie Jones (who rejoined the show in 2020, reprising her 1980s character Jane Harris), was equally impressed by Barton, enthusing that she brought a “beautiful, serene calmness to the set. It’s great for the show to have someone of Mischa’s calibre on it. She was gorgeous. Everyone loved her.”

And while Barton may be back in the US as Neighbours returns to air, she tells Stellar she remains excited that – unlike her very final departure from The O.C. – the door has been left open for a return. And the plot wheels are already turning in her head, as Barton teases, “Reece might pop up on FaceTime from New York.”

[randomvarious]

Today’s compilation:

Now That's What I Call Music! 6 2001 Adult Contemporary / Pop-Rock / Alternative Rock / R&B / Teen Pop / Pop / Boy Bands / Post-Grunge

Here we go, folks. Another dispatch from the most pervasive compilation series to ever grace US shores: it's the triple-platinum-selling,  #1-spot-on-the-Billboard-200-album-chart-achieving, sixth installment from the king conglomerate of repackaging contemporary chart hits itself; the one and only Now That's What I Call Music!

Lots of fun stories behind this eclectic set of pop songs that, overall, feels like turning on your favorite top 40 radio station sometime between 2000 and 2001, but let's start with what was probably the most popular tune in the entirety of those two full years: Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me." If you've ever wondered why or how a song on which Shaggy himself doesn't really do that much came to be the signature hit of his whole career, it's because it wasn't actually ever intended to have been released as a single in the first place! Presumably, this was just a song that was to be included on his 2000 album, Hot Shot, that would serve as a showcase for another budding vocalist, Rik Rok, who sings the song's long pre-choruses, choruses, and bridge. Now, nothing substantial ever ended up materializing for Rik Rok after this song, but the story behind its global takeover started with a radio DJ in Hawaii who downloaded Hot Shot from a p2p network, like Napster, and then decided that his favorite track on it was "It Wasn't Me." He then played it on the air and received numerous requests to keep playing it, and that clamoring audience response then persuaded MCA to release it as the album's lead single, three months after the LP had already dropped.

Also, Shaggy became known as something of a heavy sampler and interpolator, with his follow-up single, "Angel," revitalizing the melody from Juice Newton's country-pop classic, "Angel of the Morning," and a popular remix of "Boombastic" using Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" (I actually wrote about how we should be taking that Marvin song off of our collective sex playlists earlier this week). But something that probably slipped under some people's radar is how he just pretty much took the intro from a song that’s a bit more obscure in order to make "It Wasn't Me": "Smile Happy," by War, the band who became famous in the 70s for songs like "Low Rider" and "Why Can't We Be Friends," all of which are from the same album. Listen to that song's opening! It's basically the same!

I don't think War or any of its members ever received a songwriting credit for "It Wasn't Me" either, but they did when One Direction's Liam Payne made his solo debut with "Strip That Down" in 2017, which interpolated Shaggy's song. So, nice to see that War finally started to accumulate some scratch from those few bars!

Next, *NSYNC's "Bye Bye Bye," the lead single from No Strings Attached that served doubly as a dynamic teen pop breakup anthem and possibly as something of a middle finger to their former manager, Lou Pearlman, as well. It's an early 2000s pop masterpiece that comes from the famed Cheiron Studios in Sweden, which gave us the brunt of all those teen pop hits that use similar production techniques and lyrics that don't always quite make sense 😅. The most iconic producer from that teen pop haven was Max Martin, but he actually wasn't directly involved with this one. Instead, other guys from Cheiron produced and wrote it: Jake Schulze, Kristian Lundin—who was also behind "Tearin' Up My Heart"—and Andreas Carlsson.

And it's Carlsson who actually first took the song to UK boy band 5ive, who had previously charted Stateside in the top 10 with "When the Lights Go Out," in 1998. Carlsson's original conception of "Bye Bye Bye" had a rap chorus on it, and 5ive ended up really despising it, so much so, that one of the members actually called security on him 😂. Apparently, 5ive had decided that they wanted to be a "rap band" and sound like Eminem, so this "Bye Bye Bye" song, despite its chorus, was very much not for them anymore. So, the tune was then later retooled for *NSYNC, who would end up taking it to #1 on Billboard's Hot 100 chart, and it then summarily became one of the most memorable songs of the early 2000s and the boy band/teen pop era as a whole. And as a result, 5ive would never chart again anywhere after 2001 😬.

OK, now for Creed’s “With Arms Wide Open.” Did you know that this fucking song, the band's only single to top the Billboard Hot 100, which also contains some utterly incomprehensible choices in enunciation from lead vocalist Scott Stapp, took home a Grammy for Best Rock Song? Unreal, right? And what might be even more unreal is the fact that notoriously cool dude Dave Grohl actually genuinely loves it, having called it one of the most amazing songs he’s ever heard! What, Dave?!

And then there's U2's "Beautiful Day," a simply epic song to buy shampoo to that marked a departure from the electronic dance experiments that the band had become known for in the 90s, and began their transformation into the most ubiquitously annoying and insufferable act in the world for the next 15 years or so. Brian Eno, Daniel Lanois, and Steve Lillywhite's production was really stellar on it, but a writer at NME wrote that John Lennon's assassin should be let out of prison so he could shoot Bono for making this one. And I mean, that's certainly a drastic measure, but then that other album wouldn't have ended up invading all of our iPhones in the 2010s, so... 🤷‍♂️....actually, I'm just kidding. Wanting people shot for making songs you don't like is unethical. Don't do that!

And lastly, I totally forgot that K-Ci & JoJo's "Crazy" even existed before I gave this album a spin today. Those guys were probably the most iconic vocal male R&B duo of the Y2K era, and were known especially for their super soulful adult contemporaryish slow jam-ballads, like "All My Life" and "Tell Me It's Real." But I don't think I'd heard "Crazy" once since it came out over 20 years ago, so, that was a total jolt of nostalgia for me, personally, right there. And I really wasn't cognizant of it at the time, but that song's also one of the first big hits to use a considerable amount of autotune on it too, long before people like T-Pain would go on to define their career with it towards the end of the decade. So, it's sort of a trailblazing song, I guess, but it was also K-Ci & JoJo's final appearance on the Hot 100 as well, so also bittersweet. And there’s another song with some autotune on here too, an early 2000s R&B classic, “No More (Baby I’ma Do Right),” by 3LW. It doesn’t use the autotune to the same extent, but it’s there in the first verse. Fantastic throwback.

So, this album was a lot of fun. Always love taking these trips down memory lane and re-experiencing, evaluating, and learning all these backstories behind these songs that I grew up with years ago 😊. Now was probably something of a nuisance when it arrived in the US because all it did was cash-grabbingly gather big chart hits onto CD, but now it's just a great collection of artifacts that document the music of bygone eras.

Highlights:

Britney Spears - “Stronger” *NSYNC - “Bye Bye Bye” ATC - "Around the World (La La La La)" Jennifer Lopez - “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” Destiny's Child - "Independent Women, Part 1" Shaggy - “It Wasn’t Me” 3LW - "No More (Baby I'ma Do Right)" K-Ci & JoJo - “Crazy” R. Kelly - “I Wish” Backstreet Boys - “Shape of My Heart” Evan and Jaron - “Crazy for This Girl” Coldplay - “Yellow” Lenny Kravitz - “Again” Fuel - "Hemorrhage (In My Hands)" Creed - “With Arms Wide Open” Incubus - “Drive” U2 - “Beautiful Day”

[jagi11]

"Bug" Appreciation Post

Of all the songs I’ve presented in this series, this one certainly doesn’t need an introduction. Having reached 26 mln views on YouTube, Bug is certainly one of if not the most popular Project Sekai commissioned song. And rightfully so - the song is a bop, being very fast-paced and using a lot of repeated words to enhance the rhythm. Very mesmerizing, because the song is about being mesmerized. And, more or less, about waking up from the trance, coming to the realization that something’s… not exactly right.

Of course, the song was commissioned by Project Sekai, so it’s obviously a character-centered song. If I remember correctly, in my post about Suspended Animation, I said that you can’t really decipher Bug’s meaning without being aware of Mafuyu’s struggles as a character. And this is true to some extent. For me, the song is mostly about being controlled and you don’t really have to know who is controlling who, but this certainly makes some things clear. The one controlled - the system, if you will - is Mafuyu, who’s been constantly manipulated by her mother and has lost her identity as a result. Mafumom is, in this case, the administrator - the owner of the system. She pulls the strings. Some translations suggest that her name should be written as "administraitor", pointing towards her negative influence. And although it’s not up to me to decide whether Mafumom is a good person or not, she clearly made Mafuyu what she is now. The bug in the title is Mafuyu’s friends, the Niigo group. They are making the system glitch - in a way, they introduce changes to Mafuyu. While from a technological standpoint, bugs aren’t a good thing, in this case, Niigo clearly helps Mafuyu, but also makes her doubt. While I believe that these changes will make her feel better as a person, in that moment she experiences very conflicting emotions - the "paranoia" that’s repeated throughout the whole song. With its constant repetition, it slowly merges with Japanese "iiya", meaning "no more", "I can’t". Because, having enough of the pain, Mafuyu begs for mercy.

Mm. Catchy.

What I like the most in this song is the raw pain it manages to convey. In many of my playlists, Bug serves as a "transformation song". And it’s not a cutesy Magical Girl transformation you’d expect from me saying this, it’s raw. You know, these very monstrous transformations you saw in 12+ movies as a kid despite the rating itself kinda contradicting their presence at all? That’s what I’m talking about. It’s true that with any change, there will be pain, but the state of mind Bug presents is so messed-up it makes you shiver. My favorite moment is the drop after the last "iiya". The lyrical eye - Mafuyu - has experienced so much pain that she can’t withstand anything more than that. And after the last yell, full of agony, the music suddenly stops. A brief moment of silence is followed by the same melody from the start, then the whole song cuts completely.

I often imagine that, at that moment, she’s looking you straight in the eyes, the insanity peeking through. Almost as if she’s completely lost her mind.

Now isn’t that a banger.

Jagi’s song appreciation series: [Magical Girl and Chocolate] [I’m Glad You’re Evil Too] [Kashika] [Bug]