#i made myself laugh when i thougt about it

[cometathatcat]

im making bi-scicles

[kaylaz-world-00]

Laserhawk!Rayman x Reader

A/n: Okay, I couldn't help myself and write this down. I've been thinking about this idea for a while now. I've been not going to any airports for such a long time, forvgive me if I made a mistake. This is not the special for 300 followers so you know~👀

I am sorry if there is any typo mistakes. I wrote the end in a rush 😭

Summery; You and Rayman trying to go to your arranged hotel peacfully.

Warnings: cursing, guns.

Masterlist

Words: 3.4k

Taglist: @blorbostation @eateableworm @livelaughluvvfaithyy @darkchanx @astoraa @shiroisotto64

Btw does anyone want to be in the tag list?

Dear anons; I would really appreciate it if you could choose an emoji while sending your asks and requests (and stick with it) so I can tell you apart. Thank you~

Hotel

"We are sorry but you can't go through unless you show us a proof that you are infact his manager. Rayman doesn't seem to be very aware of your presence either. If you are lying--"

You growled, "What do you mean I can't go through?! Didn't I just tell you that I was Rayman's manager?" You were angry alright. You could see Rayman from your point against the few guards in front of you. He was surrounded by young kids. My god. Why would there be so many children at the airport at this hour anyway? Now how were you going to convince these fuckers? You didn't want to have to deal with these jerks in the middle of the airport with a bunch of luggage. It was too late at night for that.

"I'm not lying! I can't find my cards and information, they must be in Rayman's bag. At least let me call out to him-" you were stopped by them once again. Normally this wouldn't be such a problem, but you were experiencing this because they found a few... unapproved items on you. To be more specific, weapons. They slowly advanced towards you, making clear their guns precence to you. They weren't pointing it at you... yet. You frowned. It was a warning.

You glared and slowly spoke for them in your own warning tone, calmly stepping back and slightly raising your hands in the air, "I'm his bodyguard. Okay? That's why I keep them with me. At all times. You never know... what might happen any moment." You didn't want to cause a scene here right now. You reminded yourself that you are in the middle of an airport with a lot of bystanders and especially children around you.

"A second ago, you said you were a manager. When did that change? I'm sorry, but I think you're just trying to get out of trouble, but that won't work. We have no reason to believe you. Now come with us without making a scene." You were trying so hard for this right now.

"I'm doing both! I'm telling the truth. Just lemme--" You couldn't keep your calm any longer as they were coming towards you like a truck, and you wouldn't stood still staring like a deer, you couldn't do that. There was a great injustice here and you were definitely can't stand it. You called out to Rayman one last time before you could do anything wrong. If he didn't have your phone, you would have called him already. "RAYMAN, COME HERE Damn it!" you shouted but in vain, it was impossible for him to hear your voice over all the noise, you just hoped he would notice your absence. Right away.

Luckily, Rayman finally managed to notice your absence before security could do anything. You might have laughed if you weren't so tired at the look on his face when his eyes caught your figure. You gestured for him to come here immediately. Now. He looked so scared by your expression that you could have laughed at that. He ran over to you as he apologized to the kids, "Hey, hey! They're with me!" He quickly took out his card and showed it to them with a polite smile.

You rolled your eyes when they were finally convinced to let you in. Rayman helped you carry the luggages. He apologized to you several times as you stared ahead listlessly.

"I thougt you were right behind me! I forget that I was the one carrying your cards! I am really sorry."

You huffed in defeat, "No, it's fine, kids come first." You chuckled tiredly, "It was my fault I should have been the one carrying them in the first place. Whatever let's just catch the plane before they leave without us." You glance at your wrist. "We are only minutes away, god those fuckers took all our time. I suggest we start running." And you did just that, alerting Rayman along with it.

He start running along with you, "Hey, no need to rush Mr/Miss OCPD! We can always buy tickets for another one for today."

"Today? You mean tomorrow?" You scoffed. It was nearly midnight. "I don't want to stay up all night. It's already too late, let's just go. Also I don't have a Obsessive whatever personality disorder, I am just punctual. All my jobs are planned and need to be in time. Especially yours! Do you know how much pain in the ass would be for me if you miss something?! God, Eden would kill me." It's not even like they pay you good for your every success. It wasn't yours it was his success.

He was out of breath from the long, fast, non-stop run, as if you were going to get a reward at the end of it, but he still let out a laugh. But you were going to do whatever it took to get the job done, "Sure. You are a people-pleaser--" he start counting as you rolled your eyes.

"Look who is talking."

"You have Anxiety, obsession, probably dyspraxia too."

"Okay now you are going too far, you jerk. I am completaly a normal person trying to live a normal life. How normal it could be as long as I am stuck with you Mr. Rayman. The man who sheds light in the darkness."

"I'm taking this as a compliment."

The two of you were finally able to board the plane before it took off. You wanted to say that you could finally breathe a sigh of relief, but your clumsiness didn't quite allow it and continued to be a pain in the ass for you.

"You should be happy that we got the best seats. Because I am! Do you think we could see some nice view when we are up above? I heard the weather will be clear tonight." He daydreamed as he looked outside of the window with the biggest grin you ever saw on him.

"Yeah, sure whatever." You grumbled as you tried to push your suitcase into the compartment above your seat. You were obviously struggling but eventually managed to get it inside and quickly closed the compartment with anger and impatience. And finally sat down next to Rayman with a sigh, you can relax a bit now. Your body ached from all the things you were carrying and running around so much causing your frown to deepend.

You give a real remark to his previous statement, "How nice of Eden to be such a gentleman and give us the money for two tickets first-class plane. Unlike the last time..." You scoffed.

Finally deciding to look at you, he took his eyes off the window and turned to you, already aware of your discomfort and exhaustion and hoping to finally address it gently, muttering, "Hey, how about you relax a bit? We've got a four-hour flight. Sleep could do you good. You look like you've been up all night for three days straight. You're much crankier than usual. And you definitely need makeup. For your under eyes." He nervously eyed you.

You rolled your eyes at that, suppressing a sudden yawn appeared in your chest at the mention of sleep, "What a coincidence. How did you know? I've been working and writing non-stop for three days. Trying to get your work done."

He turned to you with a warm smile and a bit of embarrassment, "Hey, you're a lifesaver, okay? But I'm serious. Sleep. I'll wake you up when we land. Don't worry about me or yourself. If anyone tries anything, I have something up my sleeve too." He whispered with a grin and whinked.

"How reassuring. But you're right. I really need some sleep." You needed to gather your strength and mind for tomorrow. You couldn't be this anxious and stressed. Nor this lose and tired. You sighed in defeat and turned onto your side. He didn't say anything and you didn't need to hear any more.

You've been working all your life to get what you want to be like the majority. You always wanted to be able to make a change for the world. Working with Eden wasn't your biggest dream, in fact, quite the opposite. You hated them. But you had no choice. And you were forced to do this. But if it would make a difference, you would even be willing to die. You followed Rayman wherever he went, in a way you became his bodyguard. It didn't take long for you to receive that title from Eden. It had become official, and frankly, it made your job a lot easier. The fact that you knew how to fight was a bonus to them and a reason to use you. But after meeting Rayman and becoming his manager, something changed... He always manages to get into trouble, even if you don't know how, but you were always there to save him. Physically, of course. He already knew how to verbally get himself out of shit. At least that's what you hoped for. Even though some of his words might cause fights in some places... you finally know he doesn't meant to. You knew how much of a trouble Eden could be. So much so that sometimes Rayman needed you not just as a bodyguard or a manager, but as a friend... Rayman needed you to be there... he needed you to support him. He was needy, isolated, manipulated. And you are not saying any of this to insult him. Before that, you didn't realize he was actually innocent... and you continued to remain cold and distant, but he was always innocent, to say the least. You decided to be there for him after learning that. You don���t know why you decided on that. Maybe it was conscience. Or the unfair threatment he is having. Your sense of justice did not allow this. You wanted to help so badly. Even if it means throwing away your job. Yes, you've come to that point. You couldn't believe it yourself either. You saw the real him. Not the person on TV who lies and smiles through his teeth, the face Eden shows. He was defenseless behind the walls he built himself, he was being victimized and used by the company he worked for, even though he had little knowledge and was unaware of it. He was made to believe that what he was doing was a good thing, he was made to believe that he was saved, he put up with what Eden did to him for the sake of the children and for peace. He had no one to call his real friend, damn it! You would have wanted to fill that out, but... the only part you were allowed to do was keep him safe and pass on information. And nothing else.

You slept deeply and surprisingly restfully for the four hours until the plane landed. You woke up soundly asleep without anyone even having to wake you up, which surprised you. Normally this would never happen, especially in a place where you sleep outside of your bed. You were a light sleeper too. So it was normal while you wake up while landing but Rayman didn't woke you up? After yawning a little, you were about to get up to get your suitcase when you notice the weight on your shoulder and glance at your side. Your lips turned into a soft smile upon noticing Rayman was sleeping sound asleep, leaning against you, in a deep slumber.

You couldn't help but giggle, "And here I was hoping you'd stay awake the whole flight. Who am I kidding? Rayman and not sleeping?" How were you going to wake him up now? He's a really heavy sleeper. Your experiences speak for you right now. It's almost impossible to wake him up. Actually you have to but do you want to? He looked really relaxed and happy. Ah, come on he always looks like that! Just wake him up! But... something about that soft smile plastered on his lips telling you this was a real smile unlike the ones he seems to wear on his face all the time. Especially in front of the camera.

You pouted, this is your job and the two of you can't stay on this plane all day… besides, Rayman can sleep at the hotel Eden arranged for you two. Also, you didn't want to be late for your meeting...

You nudge his side. You knew a little nudge won't help him but you started of slow and gentle. You were in a good mood today. "Hey, Ray Ray." You whispered, calling out his nickname. You pushed his head on the other side and turn to him, "Ray! Wake up!" You hold onto hid hand and shook them, "Ray, Rayman! Wake up!!" You get up starting to shook his body, "This isn't sleeping you idiot! This is dying! COME ON! WAKE UP!" You grabbed his clothes and jolt him a few times, you were up infront of him by now, with all your might you continued, "Come on! We landed! Wake up, we need to go! You can sleep later!" You were about to slap him, "If you don't wake up right now I'll throw you off of the fucking plane!" He grumbled a few words hard to understand causing you to halt and lower your hand on his chest once again gripping his clothes. He was still asleep.

You fucking ask for that. You groaned as you wrapped your arms around his body and lifted him up. "God, you're a lot heavier than you look." You huffed and start to carry him towards the exit of the plane.

"I'm fucking throwing you out." You weren't actually gonna do that. You were hoping he would wake up as cold fresh air of the night swarm him. Almost all passengers on the plane had disembarked. The rest were still looking at you strangely because of what had just happened. You didn't pay any attention to them and continued on your way. Even the way you carried Rayman was weird. But how else were you going to carry him when half of the man didn't... exist? His arms and legs were nope, and the only place you could hold on to was his chest. His feet and hands were almost rubbing on the ground. He was still asleep with his head on your shoulder. Oh my god.

When you finally reached the door, you barely lifted him into the air and held him out against the night wind. Even you were cold when you realized he was shivering, he whined a few times and winced. He muttered something about him awoke and rubbed his eyes. Of course you didn't believe that, "If you don't really wake up right now, I'll let you go, don't test my patience. You'll fall down the stairs. My arms are already torn off. Lose some weight."

He grumbled, voice horse from just waking up, it was clear four hours wasn't excatly enough to satisfy his tired body, "You lose some. I am perfectly fine, thank you. You are heavier than I am." He pouted sleepily. "Also... Please put me down my butt is freezing here."

You muttered, "Your ass is freezing because of you."

You scoffed and do as he wished, sighing in relief when you got your aching arms back, massaging them gently, you couldn't hold yourself back from talking further, "We are nearly at the same weight. But you are half of my height. You are fucking heavhy. How dare you can insult me? You are a pain in the ass to wake up! Why I have to be the one to suffer everytime!? Pray that I am in a good mood today or you've been on the cold concrate with a terrible headache."

"You love me too much for that. You wouldn't do that to your favorite... would you?" He hesitate.

While the hostess watch you both argue back and forth like married couples, she couldn't help but smiled at your relationship. You were finally able to wake him up and gather your belongies, finding a taxi and finally on your way to your arranged hotel. Thank god.

While on your way you did everything in your power to not let him fall asleep again. Him grumbling everytime he was woken up before he could sleep on your shoulder.

"I am not gonna carry all that suitcase myself."

"I am not sleeping." He grumbled.

And he fall asleep afterwas. You will gonna rub that in his face later. When you finally arrived at the hotel, luckily the taxi driver was a kind person and helped you carry your belongings. Rayman was still sleeping on the bed you carried to his room while you pay the driver. After closing the door you took a deep breath and sat on the bed. Finally, you can breath a little. Sun already risen, it’s 8 in the morning. Four hours passed, huh? You had still time until your arranged meeting… You pondered to yourself. You watched him sleep a bit, the way he calmly breathed, his chest slowly rising and falling, his blonde locks of hair covering his eyes. He looked so serene.

You get up and reached towards the door. Giving a final glance at the soundly asleep boss of yours, you get out of his room. You already left all his suitcases in his room. He can do whatever he wants with then when he wakes up. You both gonna stay two weeks in there. Reporting things and such. Whatever Rayman does. You heard there is a beach nearby too. Though it was too cold to swim. You are sure Eden especially choose this time around on purpose. Just to tease you two. Those fuckers.

You went past your own room and went straight ahead for the elevator and pressed the top floor. You want to see the view.

After a bit of wait the doors opened with a ding. You walked in the penthouse, glancing around, observing the nice view with a deep happy sigh.

You closed your eyes with a smile. But it faded quickly, you gripped the earphone between your two fingers. You sighed with a thoughtful expression, putting it in your ear and pressed it on, calling for the only contact inside. Before you could even open your mouth, a very familiar voice quickly answered from the other side. "Light. It's been so long since I've heard from you! Honestly, it's good to see you're calling. Do you have something to report?" Light... that was your code name.

"Bullfrog." You greeted back, "Actually no... This time... I need to talk to you... like a friend."

You waited for him to say something. Hearing a few gunshot and a grunt from him your expression soured, "Fuck, was this a bad time?"

"Non, non, not at all. Just gimme a sec."

You waited a few minutes for him. You heard him fight with a few armed people. He heaved a sigh, "I would like to talk also, mon ami. What's up?"

You sighed, "It's about our mission... I can't... I can't do this to him. I want to tell him--"

"If you do you would risk our mission." He sounded serious but you are too.

You chuckled, "Aren't we always under heavhy danger?"

"I always trust your instincts you know that. But you actually believe he could change just so you said so? He believes he is doing good."

"I know. Don't worry, I am not gonna do anything that can risk the mission or us. I just need a right moment. I know we can able to get him to our side." You knew Bullfrog didn't actually believe what you said.

You heard him sigh, you knew he wanted to argue about that, he only softly speak up a few words, "I find it hard, mon ami. Just be more carifull." You heard more gun shots on his side. "I need to go. We'll talk more about this later. You just continue observing." You were an agent after all.

"You want to meet?"

"That's too risky. Just wait for my call."

"Alright. Try to stay alive until then."

"You too, prends soin de toi." He closed the call.

You took a deep breath and took your earphone off. You just need to wait the right time.

The right moment... you wonder...

[pouetpouetduckbaudelaire]

and it's not just my body : it's also how i move, how i act, all my mannerisms.

i know (again) that i just shouldn't care about that. that i shouldn't police myself, overthink and try to act more feminine, more masculine, and just be myself (!).

but i've litteraly, never done that. i was raised as a girl, and i never had the luxury to just walk like myself, talk like myself, act physically like myself. i just don't know what that looks like.

i remember being twelve and watching myself in the mirror. i remember not liking what i saw and convincing myself that i could and should change that. i just had to make goals for myself using what set of characteristics were considered attractive for women at that time, and just mold myself into that. and the easiest way to maintain those mannerisms was to act like i was being watched, all the time. i told myself "even when you're alone, let's pretend that a man is sitting next to you, looking at you. you have to be an exemple of grace at all times".

i'm not joking. thinking about it is just maddening. (later in life i learned that a lot of girls and afab people go through this mindset. i couldn't fathom that i was not the only one, the only lonely and crazy little girl who thought she just had the most genius idea to turn herself into the epitome of female perfection).

i thougt i needed to control the way i talked (from the subject, that had to be interesting -to who?- and always a clever and remarkable addition to the topic of conversation, to my tone, my volume, my intonation). the way i laughed (not to high pitched and fake but not too low, too manly and loud). the way i held my wrist and my fingers when i picked up a cup. the direction my feet were pointed when i was standing. how my hips were swaying when i was walking. how i had to place my shoulders to make my tits stand out -but not too much !-, how i had to arch my bach just slightly -but not too much!- when i was sitting. the way to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. how i smelled. the softness of my skin. my body hair. the shape of my nails. the colour of my teeth.

i sat in front of the mirror and pretended i wasn't me but someone else looking at me. i looked at myself and studied all of my expressions. i made conclusions : my eyes were a bit droopy and tired-looking. i better hold my eyes just a milimeter more open, that way i looked more attentive and interested, my eyes brighter and prettier. my teeth were crooked, so i should smile with my mouth closed at all times. my lips were small, so i should avoid holding them tight or they would just disappear, maybe i could teach myself to pout the tiniest bit all the time ? and i should trim those brows, but not too much, not like that cheap girl in my class. i could hold them a tad bit higher, that would help with the droopy eyes. and that piggy nose... i can't do anything about that nose. i just have to make sure that i don't tilt my head back too much, that would make my nostrils look even bigger.

that's crazy. that's completely crazy. and deeply, profoundly sad. fucking twelve year old girl.

(and that's not including weight, or fashion or makeup. and ! i was not raised in a family that taught me to care about these things. i was not brought up in a house where those were considered important. indirect social conditioning was enough to fuck me up that bad, to make myself my own overseer, my own supervisor, before anyone else had to intervene and socially punish me for not fitting the standard. i was disciplining myself already ! how good is that).

[machhapuchchhre]

I've been really tired and it's difficult to organize my thougts lately.

But yesterday, i ran into an ex-sexfriend of mine, A, just after my yoga class. We used to see each other for a few weeks in 2018, after i broke up wih C and just before i quit my studies. I really liked him. He was nice, funny, we would cook for me, he never promised me anything - we both knew this couldn't last so it felt easy. I asked myself a few times what we could have been together. Seeing him yesterday night felt easy, it felt good. We had a few drinks with other old friends from Lyon, it brought back old memories, old feelings. It was nice to spend an evening with them, to laugh, to talk about common friends. Being around A felt awkward for a few minutes, i remember how good the sex was, how soft and gentle he was, how we would make love all night long. I think I didn't act the best way with N, as I told him to join us for a drink, without telling him about A at first, and then i told him abruptly (i was drunk) while making a joke with J and A. N told me it made him feel uncomfortable and like he had things to prove to A and my other friends.

I felt terrible about that, and i apologized a lot when we got home. I made dinner, and i told him i was really sorry that i hurt him. He told me it was okay, but i could feel he was pissed and maybe a bit worried. We made love fiercely after, and he asked me what would have happened if he hadn't been around for the evening. He asked me if I would have got drunk enough to spend the night with A.

I turned around, and i look at N. I look at him with so much love in my body, and i told him that i would never do something like that. Of course i love when a nice guy is hitting on me, and that being drunk could lead me to act flirty. But i would never do anything else. I told him again that i love him. And I do. You have no idea. We spend my lunchbreak together, and we made love again, and he was so passionante yet so gentle. I could litteraly feel all the love between us as i was kissing him.

Seeing A was a good reminder. We had coffee this morning at my office, and it felt nice. I feel okay with what happened years ago between us. I feel okay with the idea of being friend with him.

N is my person. And i feel so lucky to have such a beautiful human being by my side. Love is such a precious thing.

[chocolatetakoyakis]

⚫️ BAKI THE GRAPPLER HEADCANON : HOW THEY FIRST ACTED AROUND YOU AND THEIRS FIRST THOUGHTS ⚫️

( Basically how you met aha )

BAKI HANMA :

You were a new student in his class, a foreigner, you’re here because of your father’s work

The teacher decided to place you next to Baki

This dork was sleeping when you entered the classroom and presented yourself so he didn’t even noticed you until the teacher yelled at him

When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was your beautiful smile next to him

He apologized with a small brush in his face which made you laugh

Since it’s your first day, you hadn’t your books yet so he proposed to share his with you by bringing his table closer to yours.

Trust me he never followed a class like he did when you were here aha

Awkwardly ask for your name at the end of the class

Probably ask if you want to eat with him at lunch

💭 : This girl is really cute, I wonder what’s her name ? Damn it why was I sleeping !

JACK HANMA :

Ok first, sorry if you’re not but here you are very very clumsy and one day, you bumped into Jack Hammer in a tournament you were watching.

His didn’t even noticed you at first as he was very concentrated about the fight he was about to do

Everyone was so scared when he bows his head toward you

He found you so small and so cute that he didn’t even talk

You apologized to him like a normal person and you even asked him if he was ok which confused him because he was supposed to be the one asking lol

Seeing that he wasn’t answering, you decided to leave him after apologizing again and wishing him good luck for his fights

This interaction completely STRIIIIIIIIKE HIS HEART, he was blushing a little as he entered in the stadium.

After his fight ( that he won of course ) he was looking at the crowd to see you.

Maybe you’ll meet another time ;) probably in the same situation lol. He didn’t get your name but he would never forget your amazing F/c eyes full of kindness

💭 : This girl is so cute but why the hell is she asking me if I’m ok ? I don’t know why but I feels nice...

YUJIRO HANMA :

You two surely met at the bar you were working for months

All employees were scared about meeting him and asking his order, so you had to do it because you could see he was feeling impatient

You tried acting normal and not scared but you couldn’t help but jump each time he was talking

He was supeeeeeeeeeeer flirty “ Sir have you decided ?” “ Yes I am but unfortunately you’re not on the menu” wink wink

You’re his favorite bar maid and apparently your cocktails are the best he ever drunk

Will touch your ass each time you walk next to him and cause you a HUUUGE BLUSH

He is scary but attractive at the same time

Him trying to have everything free by seducing you “ Hey doll, If you give me 5 bottles of Rhum, I engage myself to make you scream of pleasure for the rest of the week”

💭 : Ow..The barista looks hot tonight, let’s see if I can get some

RETSU :

You two met at the mall in very a weird situation because you got stuck in an elevator

You were not alone but you were a little scared of his heigh and his rude gaze

Your thougt completely changed when he started helping a poor old lady who was panicking ans surely clostrophobic

You helped him since you’re not bad at calming people ans you two started to simpatize

You fonded him very nice ans caring behing his scary look

After the elevator probelm solved, you two talked for a while outside the mall

Since it was late, he escorted you to your appartment 

You finally got his number and a date. you were super happy about it 

He found it so cute ans wished you a good night 

💭 :  I never thought, i would met a girl like her today 

SIKORSKY:

During his adventure in Tokyo, Sikorsky went to the store where you were working to buy foods

You didn’t noticed him until he came to you for paying his things

You almost lost yourself in his beautiful blue eyes, which were pretty rare in Japan and he smirked 

As you were scanning his ramens, you two started to talk, i mean, he strated flirting with you hehe

ask for your name and even try to make you laugh which he did because of hs charming attitude

inside of him, he is glad that you didn’t understand he was a criminal, so you’re not really afraid expect about his heigh maybe

The guy behing him started to get angry because he was slowing you down and he was busy

The angry customer got a huuuuuuuge kick in the stomach which made him fly at the other side of the store, you were shocked as Sikorsky finished giving money to you

He leaved peacefully after giving you his name and a wink. 

💭 :  I’ll come back at the send of the week pretty lady ! I hope you’ll be here again !

KATOU :

This thug probably saw you in a famous nightclub in Tokyo

Was drunk for suuuuuuure

Hit on you the second your eyes met ans stay the whole night with you

Wanted you to finish in his bed but even if his compagny ws great, you didn’t

Is supeeeeer disapointed but don’t argue with you since he thinks he got feelings for you and not only lust

Using nicknames all the night because didn’t get your name ( you’re playing the mysterious young lady of the club aha ) like : Sexy, Doll, Hottie 

Glare at everyone who look at you two when you’re dancing together 

Is very proud because thanks to you he can make all the man of the club jealouuuuuuuuuuuus

Buy you the Taxi when you went home, he felt really sad because you didn’t tell him your name. The next morning, he noticed that during the party you took his phone and add your number in it :) He yelled in joy.

💭 :  Wow ! Looks like going to the club with the guys was a super idea..Hi cutie !

HANAYAMA :

Our favorite Yakuza was smoking outside of his building when he saw you on the other side of the street

As he was watching you, he noticed your amazing presence and beauty

You’re a foreigner for suuuuuuure

As you walked peacefully with an ice cream in your hand, two thugs accidentally bumped into you and you dropped your ice cream on their outfits

They started to threaten you in front of everyone and nobody was moving to help you

Well expect Hanayama who saw the whole scene and apppeared right behind them as they were about to slap you in the face

He broke their hands before giving them a warning and let them go

He asked you if you were ok and proposed to buy you another ice cream and ask for your name

You finally spent an hour with him before he had to go for “ business” lol he got your number and never told you he was the most dangerous yakuza of Tokyo.

💭 : That woman surely needs help, how these fuckers dare threaten a lovely woman on my territory.

Guuuuuuuys I’m so sorry 😭 Doyle ans Katsumi were supposed to be there but I had no idea for them

[harryskalechips]

Too bad I’m attracted to you Part 2

A/n Hello I am back with this fat update. You know reading part 1 made me feel a bit bummy, I thougt it was poorly written. I hope this one isn’t as shitty. Anyways, enjoy today’s post has smut, fluff and a lot of angst hahaha

Part 1

Word count: 7336

2 years later.

Winter

“Large Iced Caramel coffee for Adeline!” The barista yells out in the busy coffee shop. I make my way through the busy crowd to pick up my order.

“Thank you.” I smile sweetly as I head straight out the door. Today was a busy day, I had just finished my 2nd lecture and I knew I had to make my way home now to study or else I’m going to fall back down in a rabbit hole of binge-watching my favourite show on Netflix.

I gather my phone and coffee in one hand as I rummage through my purse to find my keys to the apartment I lived in. I wouldn’t say I came from a rich family but my parents were hard workers who had very comfortable positions in their careers that they were able to get me an apartment near campus. The only con about this place? It was a constant reminder of the man who changed me.

He wasn’t able to help me move in here but he sure was with me when I first visited this empty place. He inspired me and helped me picture how this place would come alive. He left small details of himself everywhere in my life that it was hard to not notice them.

“Do you need a hand?” The soft brunette smiled at me as she watched me try to open the main door. I was guessing she was a visitor since she didn’t have a set of her own keys. I nod my head silently as she lets out a small laugh. She takes her hand out as I pass her my coffee and try to slip my phone in the backside of my jeans. I swiftly find my keys and open the door for us.

“Thank you!” I give her an embarrassed expression as she hands me back my coffee. “I’m sorry, I’ve opened the door many times this way I guess today was just not my luck.” She laughs and takes her purple beanie off and shoves it in her trench coat.

“It’s alright, my financé thinks he can multitask all the time too yet he’s only lucky once in a while.” I laugh at her comment out of politeness. Just as she mentioned her engagement, I noticed the simple diamond resting on her finger.

“So do you live here?” I ask to kill the awkward silence as we walk into the elevators.

“No, I’m actually just here to visit my friend.” I nod my head silently, waiting for the digits on the wall to reach 11.

“This is my floor, I got to go. It was nice meeting you though!” I wave at her as I walk out. She probably thought I was a teenager living with my parents considering how I was dressed. I had my own beanie on, with the maple leafs logo on the front. I had my dyed blonde hair in braids as I carried my thick tote with my laptop inside. I also forgot to mention how I was wearing my doc martens and my teddy coat. Yes, I definitely still dressed like a basic white girl.

~

Some days I feel lonely in the apartment when it’s late at night and I’m studying or if I want to watch a movie before bed. I try to talk to my friends as much as I can. My best friend from high school Mya was still my best friend but it’s hard to keep in contact with her when she’s at another university living her best life. I talk to Rachel and Sam but they’re both in and out of their houses and I only really get to catch up with them if we were in class or if we were studying together. It’s not like I’ve always been the type to be a social butterfly, I always preferred a tiny circle of company than a big one. Things did start to change however after I decided to cut the attachment I had with the man I once knew. I tried to numb the pain and isolation by going to parties. I tried hooking up with guys and I did but I know full well now that I regret it…. I regret everything.

Sometimes I wished I never asked the man for help, to be mentored. Maybe, I wouldn’t feel so fucked up as I am today.

After my relationship with him ended, I felt undesired as if I was unlovable. My parents didn’t notice a thing but my sister, Marla did. Coming home from his place that night made me scrub my skin in the shower until it was fiery red, until my body and my mind screamed at my heart to stop. I began to wonder about my last moments as a senior in high school.

Did I feel violated? No.

Did I feel regretful? Yes… no… I don’t know

Did I feel used? Yes. Definitely yes.

I know you can’t force one to love you the way you love them but that night when he told me he didn’t expect us to be together as I entered University, I knew I had to leave. Why? As a young naive teenager, I believed he was the one man in my life who would ever make me feel this way. Yet, all he did was fail me and show me that our relationship wasn’t worth jack shit. Funny thing was I had no clue that the girl I met in the foyer was going to link me back to him.

~

“Hi! Excuse me, I don’t know if you remember me?” The voice of a familiar girl calls out my attention as I enter the building. I stomp the snow off my boots to look at the girl. She was standing in front of the couches with the pretty abstract paintings on the wall. I walk over to her and smile as I take my left airpod out and put it back in its case.

“Yeah, I do what’s up?” She had an anxious look on her face. Should I keep talking to this girl or was it kind of suspicious how very approaching she was to others? She seems really nice though.

“I’m sorry to bother you but is there any way you can sit with me until my fiancé arrives to come and pick me up?” I give her a confused face. “Here sit down I’ll explain.” I take my tote off my shoulder and sit beside her.

The unnamed girl today was wearing a sleek leather jacket while I sat next to her in just my tights and my parka. “My name is Valerie by the way.”

“Adeline,” I reply back shortly.

“My fiancé has been calling me for hours and I thought I left my phone at my house so I never bothered to check my bag to see it in there. I stayed here at my friend’s place and my fiancé found out. Let’s just say he’s angry because he knows my friend here isn’t a good friend at most times to me.” As she continued to ramble on, I was so confused as to why this girl was in such a messy position. “Is there any way you can pretend to be my friend? I promise I have good intentions, I just don’t want my fiancé to know I was here with Kacey. That’s the friend I’m talking about.”

“Um, sure?” Her fiancé was mad about her hanging out with her friend? Seems like a bad fish that needs to be let back into the sea, in my opinion.

~

A familiar range rover pops in front of the glass doors at the same time I look up. I notice the unfamiliar guy barely parking his car as he tries to catch the door of the person who unlocked it to get in. He had a beanie on and the hood of his jacket was on, I couldn’t see what he looked like.

“Valerie.” The familiar voice called out, my ears perking up to the sound, knowing how I once was so in love with him.  I used to remember the way he spoke and the way he sounded. I listened to it all year long.

He seemed angry as he marched his way in determination towards us. What the fuck did I get myself into? I keep my gaze on the floor as I watch Valerie in my peripheral view stand up to go hug him.

“I’m sorry honey, My friend Adeline and I went on a walk around the area, I left my phone in her apartment.” With that, I look up to see him as I catch him already looking at me.

It’s been two years and he looks so different. He seemed more broader now and he was growing a little scruff. He looked older yet he seemed to carry that aura that I once found security in. His arm was wrapped around Valerie as his other one just laid against the side of his body. I try to mask my face as I stand up to walk towards him. I give a fake smile and glance at Valerie… his fiancée

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Adeline.” He gulps and nods at me.

“I’m Harry.” He pauses and glances at Valerie. “How did you two meet?” I stand there, dumbfounded. Little did he know I was covering for his finacée.

“Adeline and I met down at the coffee shop a block from here!” Valerie interjects and moves her weight onto Harry. “Anyways, Adeline it was nice spending time with you and getting to know more about your brother in the military. I think Harry and I should get going though.” The humour in all of this was both Harry and I knew I didn’t have a brother. Just a sister.

Yeah Valerie, good luck digging yourself out of this one.

I nod my head silently and watch as they both walk out. He opened the door for her, the same like he used to do for me. I noticed how fidgety he became as if the anger he felt for Valerie was no longer important. I’m pretty sure he’ll deal with her lying another time. As he makes his way around the car, he glances once more time at me to see if I was still there. I was. He started the car and drove off in a flash leaving me alone with my heart beating so fast

~

In my apartment now rushing in without a care in the world, I toss my bag onto the floor and rummage through the drawer of my nightstand looking for my inhaler. Fuck, where was it! Freshman year of university was tough for me. I was going through a heartbreak, the anxiety of exams were weighing on me, and I couldn’t get myself to trust people after a long time. This time, I saw him again. What did I expect? I mean I live near him too. I’m just surprised that I never caught him in the local grocery store or something. Now? He’s engaged. My first love is engaged. He found someone to love and it wasn’t me!

As I continue to toss things out onto my bed, I find my inhaler in the depths of the drawer, I pull it out and without another second, I press the button letting the air blow into me. I sit on my bum and rests my back on the side of the bed, taking in deep breaths as I unzip my jacket. Why am I broken?

…

My buzzer wakes me up as I try to snuggle more into my white sheets. I wasn’t expecting anyone who could it be? Still dressed in my tights and a loose tee, I get up and press on the mic of the electronic pad.

“Hello?” I can’t help but yawn.

“It’s um Harry.” I pause for a moment to think. What is he doing here? We haven’t talked in 2 years but how does he remember which apartment I was in? Why is he here tonight?

“Yeah, What can I do for you?” my voice turned more cold.

“Can I come up and uh talk to you?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I rest my forehead on my wall.

“I have to talk to you.”

“You had 2 years to do that.” One part of me knew he wasn’t going to come up here but another part of me was begging to see him, that maybe I can get closure and move on with my life. He is engaged after all, it’s not like he’s here to seduce me.

“Adeline, please.” The softness in his voice made my mind go crazy. I remember the days when he used to use that tone with me all the time.  How special I felt knowing none of my classmates knew that behind the teacher who gave us endless papers to write, there was a real softie, a real hopeless romantic.

“Alright, come up.” Without another moment, I cleaned up my tiny place as fast as I could. It was easy since I was pretty neat but tonight will be his first impression of me after 2 years. After fluffing my living room pillows, I sprint into my room to toss on a UFT sweater and brush my hair as I let it down from the messy bun it’s been in all day.  The expected knocks scare me as I set my brush down and make my way to the front door. Glancing at the clock, I noticed it was just about 9 pm.

“Hey.” I smile softly as I open the door wider to let him in. Don’t show him how fucked up you are. My brain screams at me as I get a whiff of his cologne. It’s been two years and you don’t care about what happened! I try to chant to myself as I observe him looking around my apartment.

“Wow, your place is just what I’d expect it to be.” He unzips his jacket and rests on the futon beside my door.

“Yeah, would you like some tea? You can just sit on the couches.”

“Alright, thank you.” I move quickly into the kitchen making his tea, trying to ignore the feelings I have after making eye contact with him once again.

As I walked back into the living room, I noticed he was sitting while holding a frame of me with Rachel and Sam during orientation day. I place the tea on the coffee table in front of him and sit beside him, making sure to keep my distance.

“So orientation camp huh?” He smiles still looking at the picture.

“Yeah.” I smile as I look at it too. That smile was real, it was one of the first moments in my life where I didn’t care about what happened at the end of high school graduation. He sets the picture and mumbles a thank you while taking the blue clay mug and taking a sip of it.

“Still remember how I like it.” He compliments and sets the mug back down. “Did someone make this for you?” I glanced at the detail he was looking closely at. It had a handwritten sentence on it. The days have always been dark in our favour but I would change that for you.

“Yeah, my friend Chase did.” It was a gift he made me after I decided to cool down our friends with benefits status. He was willing to give me more but I wasn’t ready. I’m still not.

“He seems like a poet.'' The man bites his inner cheek and clenches his jaw, not too noticeable but I caught on.

“He has a way with words.” Not like you though, my mind had thought as I went through a mini flashback of listening to his love letter for me the first time.

*

It was summer and just as the days grew longer so did my time with Harry. Lying to my parents I was going to sleep over at Mya’s but instead I was at my teacher’s house. He seemed to be too focused on a letter he was writing while I laid on his couch playing a stupid game on my phone. His soft voice called me to get my attention.

“Baby,” He looks up to see me sprawled in my short shorts and a tank top. “I wrote a letter and I was wondering if you can tell me if it sounds good.”

“Who’s it for?” I sit up and toss my phone onto the couch as I make my way to sit in his lap.

“For you.” He holds onto me lovingly as he starts to read the letter. I close my eyes and rest my head on top of his, trying to remember this night.

*

“I’m sure you do too.” The man interrupts my thought as he looks at me. “How’s the university life, you’re in the second year right?”

“Yeah, two more and I’m out of school.” I shrug my shoulders and play with the split ends of my hair. “Still teaching at Clement’s?”

“Yeah. I'm not teaching English anymore though, I’m teaching history.”

“Oh, that’s something new. At least you get to use your history minor.” He laughs and shakes his head. I just began to observe what he was wearing. He was wearing a grey long sleeve and blue jeans. Guess some things stay the same.

“Valerie lied to me today. I came here because I wanted to know the truth before confronting her.”

“Ha-” I pause, he looks uncomfortable as I continue on. “Never knew you were the type to be possessive. You shouldn’t be like that, especially to your finacée.”

“You don’t understand, whatever she told you, I have a reason to act this way.”

“Why then?”

“First tell me why she was here.” Harry pleads. We both sit up more as I let him know.

“We met in the coffee shop and we became Fri-”

“Adeline, please tell me. Have you seen her in this building multiple times?” He asks as I can feel his frustration seeping through.

“Yes, why?”

“Fuck!” He mutters as he stands up abruptly. “Fuck!”

“Ha-... What’s wrong?!” He looks at me immediately as he sits back down beside me.

“You can’t say my name.” He calls me out. “Adeline, say my name!” I give him nothing but a blank look. He rubs his face in desperation.

“It doesn’t matter, I’m just petty. I don’t feel-”

“Why do women always lie to me!” Harry interrupts me. “Did I fuck you up so bad, you can’t even say my name?” He looks at me with tears in his eyes. “Please tell me.” I nod silently as he closes his eyes. “Feels like karma you know? After letting you go, I thought I would never be happy again until I met Valerie last year at a club.” He glances at me as I sit there quietly, letting him continue. “Want to know a funny thing? I caught her in this apartment two months ago sleeping with her ex-boyfriend. She had her locations on and when she called me, I was so confused so I searched for his name on the list downstairs. Stood outside for hours until she came out of his apartment with hickeys all over her.”

“I still don’t know why I asked her to marry me last month. She begged me to stay with her and I just thought that maybe we deserved each other because we both like to sabotage our own relationships.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper to him as I move forward to rub my palm on his back.

“She’s still cheating on me.”

“I know.” And without another moment, he turns towards me and hugs me into his arms. All the anger in me dissolving because of his story, because of this moment. “I’m sorry.”

Spring

The club was very busy tonight and after waiting in line to get in, all I wanted to do was go back out and probably sleep in my bed.

“So you couldn’t hang out with us yesterday because you and Harry had dinner?” Rachel asked me earlier while we were in line going in. All Rachel and Sam knew were that Harry was my ex-boyfriend and we dated for 6 months.

“Yeah.” They didn’t know that Harry and I have been spending a lot of time together after he ended his relationship with Valerie. Valerie didn’t know anything about us, which was nice. I didn’t want her to get angry at me but I also knew she deserved it. My newly formed friendship with Harry, however, as beneficial as it was strictly platonic. It’s been two months and I feel like my mental health has improved. Maybe if Harry decides to leave my life again, I’ll be okay. I also learned how to say his name again without feeling my heart hurt. The times now have been good, I’ve been good

“Still can’t understand how you felt so in love with him, only after dating for 6 months,” Sam called out as we entered the club. She didn’t know what Mya knew. I ended up telling her at the end of summer when the break up happened. Mya told me I was 100 percent reasonable because I was involved in a serious relationship for the first time in my life.

~

“Hey, that guy has been eyeing you for a while,” Rachel smirks at me as she points discreetly at the cute blonde guy glancing at me while talking to his friends. I make eye contact with him and smile. As the night was still young, he made his way over to me. After a few more drinks, I knew my mission was to bring him over to mine

...

As I wake up in my sheets alone, my head pounds making me groan. Sitting up, I noticed I was in the unnamed boy’s polo. After brushing my teeth and using the toilet in my ensuite, I headed out to realize the ruckus was coming from my living room.

“Good morning beautiful.” The blond boy smiles as he sits at the dining table eating breakfast take out. “Your friend is here by the way.” He nods his head to the kitchen. As I walk into the room, the tiles sting the bottom of my feet. There, I see a pissed Harry making tea.

“Hey.” I tuck my hair behind my ear as I’m surprised he’s here. He looks at me and passes the mug into my hand without another word. “Thanks. How did you get here?”He looks behind him to see the boy eating while watching something on his phone. The unnamed boy seemed to be around my age.

“Thought I would get us some breakfast since I hadn’t heard from you yesterday but Jamie here buzzed me in without a word. Came here then he took your breakfast so he could eat. You can have min-”

“Thanks.” I smile and take a sip of the tea. “I think he should go though I didn’t even know his name until you mentioned it.” Together, we walk out and I notice Jamie finishing his container or mine.

“Thanks, Henry! Breakfast was delicious.” Harry widens his eyes then nods quietly.

“Jamie, is it alright you leave now? Harry and I have somewhere to be.” I ask nicely as he stands up and cleans up after himself.

“Yeah angel, just let me get my shirt back then I’ll be out doing my walk of shame.” He smirks as he watches me. I glance at Harry who seems to be angry again.

After Jamie leaves and Harry and I sit together on my couch using two forks sharing his bacon and eggs, he speaks up. “So that’s what you were doing yesterday huh?”

“Yeah.” My cheeks flush as I purposely only eat the yolk of the eggs, knowing Harry hates that part.

“I know it’s not my business but do you have one night stands a lot?”

“Um. last year I only had three then Chase and I had benefits until this year, after that Jace… I mean Jamie has been the last one.”

“Oh.” He says silently. “That’s cool.”

“Don’t you have one night stands a lot?” I tease as I take a sip of his coffee since my mug is empty.

“You know I'm not really keen on those. Before you, I wasn’t really into it. After you, I fell into some deep hole so yeah I did. Valerie’s my last.” I nod and glance at the quiet TV. “You know the year when you left, I was a really mean teacher. Mrs. Raisell had to speak to me and ask me to pass all my students because ⅔ were failing.”

“Maybe they deserved to fail?” I shrug my shoulders and laugh.

“No, I was purposely marking hard.”

“Are you still hurt about Valerie?”

“If I’m being honest with you, I was waiting for something to break us up. I couldn’t imagine marrying her.”

“Why not?”

“Always pictured it would be you.”

Summer

Today was going to be my first day entering Harry’s house again. I was nervous but the thing that kept my spirits up was that I was going in with Harry and the broken part of me was fixed once again. To me, it didn’t matter that Harry broke me because he fixed it, at least I have his presence here again and I don’t feel lonely anymore.

“We’re here.” Harry smiles as he steps out to open my door. I glanced at his house that seemed to bring comfort to my heart as I saw Harry nod his head for me to follow him. After locking his car, we enter his house. It smelled the same and looked just a bit different. I noticed how there were fixed holes in the wall, some of his books were missing from the shelf, and he had new windows and a new TV.

“Did Valerie change some things around here while you guys were together?” I ask as I take off my shoes and sit with him in the living room. I used to remember staying in here and cuddling him. Sometimes, I would ask him to edit my essays. He would tell me all these tips but I would drown him out, pretending to listen yet my attention was on the TV show he was watching.

“Actually, No. Valerie and I were only together for 4 months plus we were never really here. We spent most of our time at hers.” He sits down and turns the TV on.

“What’s up with the holes and missing books in here.” He looks at the holes I was staring at. He lowers the volume and speaks to me.

“Mind if I get something upstairs.” And with that he sprinted upstairs, leaving me on the couch.

As he made his way back, he handed me a mini leather journal. It was a bit torn up but it seemed to be in good condition.

“Um,” he pauses as he sits down. He turns towards me and keeps his eye contact on the closed journal. “You can read that when you get home but I can tell you what happened here.” I nod my head and take the journal and hug it into my arms. “When you left, I uh... felt like that was a bad moment for me. I just- you know why we broke up. I just didn't expect you to love me.” he looks at me while I stare at him breathe a bit heavier. This was the closure I was asking for.

“Addy, I was so excited that night and when you told me you loved me, the insecurity I had for the past 9 months just buried me. I don’t know how to explain it. I just- I was scared you would take that back later when you realized how much potential you have and how you can have a better relationship with a boy that was going through the same stuff you were. I’m sorry.” He looks at me and bends down to wipe a tear down my face.

“I always thought about your parents’ reaction if they found out about us, I thought about your friends, I thought about my parents. It was so messy in my brain. Then when you left, I realized that I loved you too but you were gone in an instant. I got so angry at myself for letting fear take over me. So um I decided to punch the walls and throw my TV through a window. Decided to take each romance book out of my shelves and pour alcohol on them.” He laughs to himself. “I even remember crying so hard, trying to tear out the pages of my favourite book, you know a copy I gave you for Christmas. Anyways, I was really mad at myself that I didn’t try to get you back. I mean I took your senior year away from you. You should experience Uni and I guess that’s what made me decide to let you go.” I cry harder and look at the almost bookless shelves

“You fucking ruined me, Harry. I tried to have fun but all I was fucking looking for was something to numb the pain you left me!”

“I know baby and I’m sorry okay! I’m sorry for not being strong enough! I’m sorry for fucking doing that! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m fucking sorry!” He yelled as we both cried on his couch.

“I fucking loved you and you threw that back in my face. I rubbed my skin so hard that night when I left this fucking place. Do you understand that? I had- my skin peeling for days after trying to get you out of my skin, trying- to … rinse your.. Scent off m-”

“Baby, are you okay?” Harry’s eyes alarmed as he watched me hyperventilate. “Fuck, Addy, you don’t have asthma!” I grasp onto his shoulders as he quickly lets go of me and runs to his kitchen, as he walks back he has his own inhaler in his hands. “Here, it’s alright, baby. I’m here now, it’s okay.” As I take in a breath, I fall into his arms and hug him.

“I love you, Adeline. I love you. Two years or not, I don’t give a fuck. I love you.”

…

The night was quiet as we cuddled together on his couch. We were both speechless about what happened earlier and now we have been watching infomercials for the past hour. Harry was petting my hair as I laid on his chest playing with the journal he gave me. “Want me to read that for you. It’s just little lines I wrote about you.” I nod my head and he takes the journal into his hands. He soon began to read each page out loud. I closed my eyes on his chest, trying to remember this night. The same way I did when I first listened to him read out his love letter.

I know you were way too bright for me

I’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky

All the lights couldn’t put out the dark

Runnin’ through my heart

Don’t you call him “baby”

We’re not talking lately

Don’t you call him what you used to call me

Forget what I said

It’s not what I meant

And I can’t take it back, I can’t unpack the baggage you left

Sunflower, my eyes want you more than a melody

Fall

“Ahh, Harry let me down!” I scream as I feel his arms engulf me as he lifts me off my feet. “If I don’t unpack my things then I’m going back to mine!” I tease as he laughs putting me back down but not without stuffing his mouth in between my neck so he can leave kisses there.

“You can’t, you sold it already. You’re living here with me forever!” He murmurs against my jaw as he turns me around and leans me against his counter. “You’re here with me now.” He smiles as I kiss him on the nose.

After rekindling our relationship, I decided to sell the apartment and live with him since I’ve spent more time at his place than mine. When I told my parents about Harry, they were happy and they agreed with me moving out. Little did they know that I was dating Harry back when I was still his student but I think that’s a story for another time.

“Oh no, what did I sign up for! I’m living here with you… forever!” I pretend to sigh but he pinches my hips and lifts me onto his dark blue counter.

“Promise baby it won’t be too bad. We’ll redecorate the place just how you want it. We can spend so much more time together and… we can have sex anywhere you want.”

“Hm, I like that.” I kiss him on the lips as I wrap my arms around his neck.

“I know you do baby.” He laughs. He kisses me harder then pulls away. “Are you done unpacking your mugs or should I organize the bookshelves myself?” He smirks as he watches me pout. I tug on my pigtail and hop down the counter.

“I want to help you, of course!”

That night we spent hours reorganizing his book collection. I even added some of my own since I’m an English major too. The shelves that were once empty were now filled with many genres of books but I made sure that the majority of them were romance.

~

“Baby, are you almost finished?” I knock on Harry’s office as I see him marking his last stack of history papers.

“Mmm, I don’t think so.” He looks up at me and sighs as he glances back at the hill of papers that don’t seem to shrink.

“I was hoping you and I could spend some time tonight since I just finished my homework.” I walk inside the room and close the door. I make my way onto the couch that I’ve grown used to and sit down. Harry was wearing his glasses with his grey sweatpants and a plain white tee. I was wearing his polo and just my panties. Tonight though, no funny business. I’m here to keep him company yet let him focus on marking. “You know I took AP history, maybe I can help you with the marking like old times.” I lick my lips as he glances at me from the paper he was reading, he took a bit too long to respond since he was too focused.

“Yeah, alright, go grab a paper. The research question should revolve around world war 1 and Canada’s involvement.” With that, I took the paper from his stack and picked out a pen from his mug. I got him that for Teacher Appreciation Day when I was still his student.  

A couple of hours after, I didn’t realize I fell asleep on his couch as I watched him finish the last few. All I remember is him carrying me to our bedroom.

“Oh, I’m sorry I fell asleep?” I yawn as I watch him beside me getting settled into bed. The fairy lights around our room set the vibe since I decided to hang them up because Christmas was just around the corner again. “You should’ve woke me up instead of carrying me to bed.” He looks at me and laughs, bending down to kiss my forehead.

“It’s okay baby, plus you could be awake and I’d still carry you to bed. Thank you for helping me mark tonight. It reminds me of the old times.” He hovers over me and intertwines both of our hands on either side of my face.

“It’s alright.” I smile as I watch his eyes look at me. “ You know I was thinking, if we don’t count the two-year break, we’ve been together for about 15 months.” He licks his lips and kisses me on the lips.

“Feels weird huh? Feel like I’ve known you forever.”

“Yeah, I think so too.” He kisses down my neck even though we both know we’re both very tired. “I love you,” I whisper.

“I love you so much more,” Harry whispers back as we finish the night with sloppy, slow sex.

Winter

“Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Harry, Happy birthday to you.” I sing softly as I carry a stack of pancakes with a lit candle on top. Harry was just waking up, surprised at the view of me in just his shirt. I carefully crawl on the bed so he can blow the candle out. He reaches out and closes his eyes for a moment before blowing the flame out.

“Thank you.” Harry murmurs as he comes closer to kiss me. “I love you, Addy.”

“I love you too.” I kiss him back. “Here’s your fork, let me just get your coffee downstairs!” I was just about to get out of bed but he holds onto my hand.

“Stay, I can get some coffee later.”Since it was a Saturday, we were very lucky to stay in bed and watch TV all morning. Harry was feeding me a couple of bites while I would let my fingers massage his scalp for hours.

“You know I don’t know how I got so whipped for you, Ms. Chastain.” He murmurs against my jaw after he sets the plate down on his nightstand. “Saw you standing there, the first day in class and I knew I just had to get to know you.” I laugh and sink myself more into the sheets so he can hover over me.

“You know I didn’t know we would get back together. Thought I would never see you again.” He rubs himself on me as I let my fingers graze over his newly shaved chin.

“Are you happy to be with me?” He asks seriously as he kisses my jaw.

“Mhm.” I moan.

“You love me yeah?”

“I do.” He looks up and smiles at me. He kisses my forehead then lifts up my (his) shirt off my stomach. “Harry.”

“I love you, Addy. So fucking much I do.” The wetness of his tongue teases my stomach as he makes his way back to the top of my chest so he can suck on my nipples. “So fucking beautiful you are.”

“Harry.” I pant as I watch him take a nipple into his warm mouth. His other hand playing with my panties and teasing my core.

“Can’t believe I let other guys touch you. You should’ve been mine only. To touch, to love on, to moan for.” He inserts his fingers in me as I scratch his back. “Moan for me baby, scream my name.”

“Daddy, fuck, oh my god. Faster please!” he gropes my boobs and slaps my wet pussy.

“Too bad I’m attracted to you yeah? Don’t give a fuck what you do, who you sleep with. I just want to love you all day long.” He whispers in my ear as I touch his hard dick and try to jerk him off too.

“Love you, you’re so big, daddy!” Without another moment, I come undone as he moans too at the sight of me. He takes my hands off his dick and teases my entrance a bit before putting it in.

“Remember that time I gagged you with your panties and blindfolded you with my tie.” I nodded. “Fucked you so hard and bent you over my desk that day. So difficult after you left me to mark homework on that desk. I couldn’t stop hearing your moans in my mind baby. You fucked me up so hard.” And with that, he thrust into me so fast as he reached forward to choke my neck.

“Daddy!” I open my eyes to see him, biting his lip watching himself fuck me hard.

“Open your eyes love, want you to see me tear you apart.” He helps me sit up and rests my back on the headboard as I watch him fuck me over and over again. “Fuck, don’t look at me like that, I might just have to turn you over right now and spank you.” He takes his thumb and puts it into my mouth so I can suck on it.

“Then turn me over daddy, spank me while I feel you in my stomach.” He bends down to kiss my lips and just as I was about to kiss him back he turns me over on all fours. Slapping my ass twice before putting himself back in me.

“So wet, baby.” He pulls my hair out of my face as he thrusts faster. I clench my fingers around our pillows, trying to also hold onto the headboard. “You fucking like that when I fuck you hard? Such a slut for my cock baby. So wet, you’re fucking leaking for me.” He teases his finger around my other whole. “Look at this one, I might have to try and give this one attention next time what do you think?” As I moan, attempting to reply he cuts me off, “Maybe now is a good time.” He spits onto the hole, teasing his finger around it. “Are you okay with this Addy, do you like how it feels?”

“Mhm.” Harry pulls onto my hair a bit harsher.

“Answer me correctly, say it properly. Let daddy know.”

“Yes!” He slips his thumb into my now wet hole as he fucks me faster.

“Fuck, I wanna put a baby in you so bad baby.”

“Put one in then.” I moan and reach down to rub my clit.

“Get off birth control and I won’t doubt for a second to put one in.” He grits his teeth and flips us over so I’m riding him. “Be a good girl, show me how good you are.” He whispers and slaps my butt. I watch his face turn into pleasure as I roll my hips onto his, trying my best to fuck him well. My moans were seemingly uncontrollable as I feel him deep in my stomach.

“Come for me daddy please fill me up!” I whine and without another second, we come together. Harry reaches quickly for my neck, choking me as he thrusts his hips upwards. His seed fills me up as I un slide myself off him and reach down to taste us. He watches me with a smirk as I lay back down beside him. I feel him move his arm underneath me, as he searches for something. As I lay beside him looking at the ceiling, I watch his hand open a black velvet box in front of me.

“Harry,” I whisper, turning to look at him.

“I know it’s my birthday but the only wish I had in mind was if you said yes to the question I’m about to ask you.”  He sits up a bit as I mimic his position.

“Adeline Chastain, I knew you ever since you were 18 and I’ve loved you ever since then. You would make me the happiest man in the world if you would marry me?” I watch him as we both cry so happily together.

“Yes, Harry, I will!” He takes the pear-shaped diamond engagement ring and slides it onto my finger. He kisses me softly as his fingers touch the necklace he bought me for graduation.

“I’m very much in love with you and I promise to take care of your heart, to protect you, and make you the happiest woman in my life.” and with that we kissed again, leading us to the never-ending hours of activities in the bed.

When I was 18, I was naive. I thought Harry would be the only man in my life who would ever make me feel this way.

And I was right.

[jungiegukie]

Pregnancy Prank Gone...? ft. Jungkook

PAIRINGS: Jungkook x reader, OT7.

WORDS: +2.5 K

WARNINGS: Kind of mentions of sex.

A/N: I’m thinking about doing a series about Youtuber Y/N and Jungkook being her boyfriend and also Big Hit’s golden maknae… I’ll sleep over it, but meanwhile I hope you like this little thing i made.

—————————————————————————————-

“Hey Dellas! So…” As any other full time youtuber I claped my hands and sighed, “You’re not ready for what’s about to happen… no, Jungkook is not ready for what’s about to happen. You see, I’ve been in birth control for the last year and a half or so, and I’ve been late like once or twice since then. The thing is that I’ve decided to put on a little set up to my boyfriend and I’m going to tell him that I’m pregnant.” I looked around me and grabbed my phone and the pregnancy test box that I left right beside me; “He’s now on the dance studio with the guys, but he must be coming home soon… I hope so… You know what, I’ll call him.”

Once I unlocked my phone I searched for his contact and called him while putting the call on speaker. At the third beeping sound he answered and I could hear the guys on the back laughing.

“Shut up dorks… Hey babe, what’s up?” 

“Hey you! I’m fine, how’s the practice going?”  

“We’re killing it, I swear. This show is going to be way better than… Sorry, babe, wait a sec…” I heard laughs getting closer and a lot of rumbling on the backround followed by a “Hyung, could you please stop I’m talking to my lady here.” after that you could hear Taehyung mocking in the backround imitating what he just said, then Jimin did it… And then Hoseok… And suddenly all of the guys where mocking him; “Jagi, can I call you in a bit? The guys… Hyung stop… Okay, so, as I was saying, the guys… Park Jimin stop it… Babe, I’ll call you when we’re done, alright?”

“Sure Kook, around what time?”

“Seven? Maybe?” I checked my phone and I saw it was ten past six o’clock, There was enough time to get this prank perfectly done.

“Alright, just… call me, ok? We have something to talk about.” 

“We have? Uhm… Okay, sure. I’ll call you when i’m out. Love you.” I just answered with an I love you more, and the next thing I heard where another beeping sounds; he ended the call.

Looking back at the camera, I showed the fake pregnancy test box; “We’ve got fifty minutes until Kookie calls me and heads back home. The studio is about a fifteen minute drive from our apartment, so he should be here around quarter past seven, maybe sooner… depend on the traffic.”

I opened the box and saw two pregnancy tests inside. I took the instructions out and read them; it said that it could be dipped in any liquid and the test was going to come out possitive. “Good thing that I actually do not have to pee on a stick, right?” I opened one test out and looked back at the camera. “So, this is what we’re doing: I’m going to leave one test already done with the fake possitive, so when he gets here I’ll tell him that I’ve been late for around two weeks and that I decided to get a pregnancy test done to see if it had something to do with it or if it was just my cycle getting all weird and stuff. He’ll probably ask about the birth control, so I’ll tell him that last month I gave myself a break from the pills just for my body to chill or something like that… I’ll have the other pregnancy test and I’ll telI him I was waiting for him to get the other one done and be a hundred percent sure. He’ll probably go nuts…” I started playing a lot of possible case scenarios that might happen: he could be angry, or happy, or sad, or excited… I don’t know, the only thing that I knew for sure was that he was going to hate me. “Alright, let’s dip this stick on some water.” 

I grabbed a plastic cup and filled it up to the middle with water. I dipped the pregancy test and waited for it to come out with two lines on it. Two minutes the result was shown; the test was possitive. “Oh my God, it worked” I laughed for a bit and decided to prepare the scene for the little show I was playing. “I’ll put you guys in the corner of the vanity where all my makeup and hair stuff is kept so he won’t be able to see the camera. It’s a bit messy over there so he won’t suspect a thing.” Placing the camera right where I said I turned the view finder and checked a few times if the view was right and clear. “Great. He must be here in around half an hour so, I’ll talk to you guys when he calls me.” 

I placed the viewfinder on its normal position and turned the camera off so it would not run out of battery and headed to the kitchen. Once I was there I made myself some coffee while I layed my tummy on the kitchen counter which was facing directly to our living room, and with remote in hand I started zapping channels until I found something I liked.

Twenty five minutes went by and my phone started buzzing off. Weird. When I lifted it up from the counter I saw the caller ID that I’ve been waiting for a long time now. Practice mus have ended earlier; “Oh jungkookie, get ready for whats coming.” I answered the phone with a simple what’s up.

“I’m coming home now, I mean… I’m parking the car, so I’ll be up in five.”

Shit. 

“I told you to call me when you were going out the studio babe, I’m not even dressed.” That was not true. I was fully dressed, but I had to say something to cover it up. I had five, No, I had three minutes until he was up here.

“I won’t complain if I get there and find you naked babe.” I roled my eyes while making my way to the bathroom and turning the camera on.

“You perv. Alright, I’ll get dressed quickly then.” Right after that I hunged up the phone and directed my sight to my camera; “Guys, Kookie just called and he’s parking the car. That means he’ll be up here anytime soon.” The front door made its usual sound which anounced that my boyfriend was already home.

“Babe? Where you at?”

I turned my face to the bathroom door and shouted “Bathroom!” at the same time that I directed my gaze to the camera once again while wispering my typicall prank line “Game on.” I quickly sat on the bathroom counter and waited for him to come inside.

“Hey.” He said while making his way inside the bathroom and walking towards me. Jungkook was looking as good as ever with a grey two piece sweat outfit from puma. Once he was in front of me he huged me by my waist and lifted me up to my feet while I huged his neck from behind. “I missed you.” He leaned closer and pecked my lips.

“I missed you two.” He leaned in once again and kissed me for a longer time this time.

“What was that thing you said we needed to talk about? My head’s been on it since I hunged up the call.” I placed my hand on his chest, leaving some distance between us.

“Yeah, that… Uhm… Okay.” he lets go of my waist and I walk towards the counter where the pregnancy test was at. I grabed it and hid it under my back. 

“I’ve missed my period for two weeks now.” Sometimes Jungkookie was… the word inocent does not fit.. maybe naive? Yeah, naive. He was pretty naive sometimes.

“So…? What’s with that?”

“I’m never late Kook.” The light bulb he had over his head must have lighted on.

“Don’t… Don’t say it” He rubed both of his hands over his face. “You’re not.”

“Babe, listen. I took a pregnancy test” He quickly got his hand of his face. And I could see his brown doe big eyes bigger that they have ever been, “And it came out possitive.” I handed him the stick with the two lines on.

“You’re kidding, right?” He grabbed it and looked at it in shock. “Tell me this is a joke.”

“No? I have another one on the box, but I did not wat to take it alone in case it was positive once again. I wanted to wait for you.” 

“You’re on the pill Y/N. There’s no way you’re pregnant.” He placed the test over the counter top once again. “There’s no way… Is it?”

“Well… I didn’t tell you this because I did not think it was important, but last month I had a little break from the pill. Remember that time I went to my ginecologyst about a month and a half ago?” He shook his head no, “Well, whatever. The thing is that she said that maybe I should take a break from the pill for like a mont since i’ve been on it for over a year. She said my body needed to chill or whatever and that after that break I could go back to them as usual.”

“You what?! Babe! We’ve been having sex for like five out of the seven days of the week for the last month, and you’re telling me that now? I did not even wear a condom because I thought you were still on the pill, Y/N.”

“I never thougt this would have happened Jungkook. Why are you blaming this on me only! You could have wrapped the little friend you have down there anyways!”

“Oh my God!” He turned around and walked all along the bathroom several times, back and forth… for about two minutes, in silence. Once he faced me again he said; “Y/N. Listen. I’m going on tour once again in like… a week? I don’t even know. This is deffinitely not the right time to have a freaking baby.” Oh man… He was pissed. “You said you have another one?” I nodded my head yes, “Go get it done. what are you waiting for.” 

I took the pregnancy test from the box and went to the toilet. Once I closed the door and checked that there was no sound outside I let a chuckle escape my lips. I quickly unlocked my phone and opened the camera app and filmed a short video; “Guys, I’m in the bathroom now to take the second pregnancy test and man… Kookie is pissed because of the pill thing. Oh my God.” I took a deep breath and opened the test. “I’ll dip this thing on the toilet water and then flush it to make it less suspicious. Let’s do this. Hwaiting!” Once I got out of the bathroom I could see Jungkook curled up on a ball sitting next to the bathroom counter where the first pregancy test layed.

“So… What does it say?”

“You have to wait for the lines to come out. We’ll find out in a minute or two.”

Silence. Deep silence was the only thing that could be heard.

“I’m sorry for blowing up like that babe. It’s not your fault. Even though, you should have told me about the pill so i could be extra carefull.” I nodded and wispered an I know and I’m sorry too. He stood up and walked closer to were I was standing and huged, once again, my waist. “If it comes out possitive we’ll figure it out.” One of the hands that was resting on my waist made all the way up to my cheek and caresed it. “I don’t know how, but we’ll figure it out.” His facial expression was saying that he regrets how he reacted in first place, but he was also scared. 

“It’s time.” He lets me go. I was genuenly feeling the wors girlfriend in the whole world right now. “It’s possitive.” I turned to him handing him the test. He had a blank stare. Nothing was showing. Not a single emotion.

“I think I’m gonna throw up.”

“What, babe, don’t! I’m the one who’s pregnant here here.” He gave me the look afted I said that and sighed in frustration.

“I don’t know how I feel… I have all mixed up. Im happy, of course. You’re carrying my child, and I love you, and you’re going to be an amazing mom… but at the same time I’m frustrated. I mean… We’re both young, I’m 23, you’re 21. You know that with my work is not easy to carry on a normal life; we barely made our relationship public like three months ago, babe.” He sighed and crosed his arms over his chest. “What if I make one of an awful dad? What if I miss my child’s  first words or first steps because I am on tour, promoting, filming or recording? What if everytime I leave and then come back he or she does not recongize me? I really don’t think I would be able to handle that last thing. There are a lot of what if’s, Y/N… ” 

“Babe, listen; I’m sure you’re going to be the bestest dad in this whole mother efing world. You have a lot of insecurities and flaws, but I’m a hundread; No, I’m a thousand percent sure you’ll be the best dad.”He had tears in his eyes that were just about to drop, maybe it was time to end this prank. 

“I’m calling Namjoon and I’ll tell him I’m taking a break.” He said what?!

“What?! No you’re not!”

“You’re right, I’m not. I need to get the money to buy baby things.”

“Jungkook…”

“What are those things that babies poop and pee on?”

“Babe…”

“We’ll have to move to another apartment, this one only has one room. There’s not enough space for the baby.”

“Jeon Jungkook, could you shut the fuck up and listen to me?!” His eyes darted directly to mine. “It wont be necessary to move out from this apartment.” I stepped closer to him and huged him, two seconds went by and he hugged me back.

“Of course it is, there’s not enough…”

“Shht. Listen to me.” I placed one of my hands on his left cheek, right were his little scar was on. “It wont be necessary to move out or buy diapers or any other baby related stuff because I’m not pregnant.”

“The test came out possitive Y/N, both of them.”

“Yeah… those are fake pregnancy tests, baby.” I point at the camera that was placed on the vanity in between my mess. “You’ve been punked”

“Oh fuck you.” He blurted and walked out the door. Right after watching his reaction I couldn’t resist to laugh my ass of.

“Babe! Oh God, wait!” I walked over to get the camera and pointed the viewfinder backwards so I could se myself. “Guys, he’s pissed… Babe! come on, it was just a prank.” I made my way to the living room just to see an angry Jungkook sitting over the couch with both his legs and arms crossed and a pout on his face.

“Just a prank?… Just a prank?! Y/N, I almost threw up when you said the second test was positive! You played with my feelings!” 

I sat right next to him and placed my head on his shoulder. “You know I love you right?”

“Doesn’t look like it.” I giggled at his response and pouty face. “What are you laughing at.”

“You’re so cute.” I pinched his cheek with my free hand. “Just for you to know, I haven’t stoped taking my pills.”

“Good to know… As I said before, we’ve been doing it non stop for the last month.” 

“Babe!” I punched his arm while he laughed at me and hugged my shoulders “Do you want to close my video or do I do it?”

“Let me say something first.” I hand him the camera and he speaks; “I’ll take revenge on her, take my word. This does not end here.”

“Yeah Kook, whatever you say.” I looked at him and smiled.

“At least I now know you think I’ll be the best dad in the world.”

“I meant that though. Whenever the time comes you become a dad, you’ll deffinitely be the best one.” He looked at me with a wipped look and carresed my cheek with his right hand. “Alright guys, this was all for todays video. Don’t forget to like and subscribe, I’ll deffinitely come back with more pranks to my beautiful boyfriend here, don’t you worry.” Jungkook shook his head with a smile on his face “I’ll see you guys on monday and as I always say; Ciao, Ciao…” I pointed at Jungkook and waited for him to say the last word of my famous line.

 “Arrivedella.” I stopped filming and closed the camera.

“I want you to know, that I mean it when I say I’ll get my payback.” He said while pressing a soft kiss to my hair. .

I laughed, turned my face to him and kissed my boyfriend on the lips. “No, you wont.”

@jungiegukie

[barnesaintdead]

The Reason — A Bucky Barnes romance.

Summary: there's none, actually, I'm terrible at this so I'll just resume for you. Bucky turns up to be face-to-face with his past. Now he must deal with his feelings.

Warnings: teeth rotting fluff, smokin' hot smut, heart stabbing angst. It takes place between Civil War and Infinity war but Bucky is not a popsicle in the end. Mentions of abuse, torture and rape, so be careful and keep your mental health.

Word count: 1300+.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/OC and big brother! Steve Rogers/ OC.

A/N: So, this is going to be full of fluff with tiny but heartbreaking moments of angst and not so much smut but really smutty at the few times. Get ready. I'm in college, tomorrow is my first day and probably I won't continue Pandora's box because it was written under an emotional breakdown so please don't be sad. Now, let's read. Feedback and love are always welcome.

Chapter One.

"This is definitely not good", Steve points as he stops in his tracks. Both him and Bucky went to the rescue of Wanda from one of Hydra's facility back and Germany and now the three of them were face to face with at least two dozens of highly armed men. Right in the middle, the only woman in the squad was casually cracking her knuckles. Cap's shield dancing on her arm. She was covered from head to toe, so they couldn't make out if she was someone known.

Tension running in the air, they kept staring until Wanda grunts and push her hands up, red magic swirling around them. In the first shot, she walked ahead her teammates to survey some protection, heading towards the enemy squad only to stop abruptly as the woman uses the shield to take them down one by one. When finished, she throws it with a certain strength back to Cap and he stands there, mouth agape while she approaches slowly.

"Is she one of ours?" Wanda asked with a crease in her forehead.

"Not that I know but Fury never was a fan of sharing his thoughts, was he?".

Only a short distance separated them when the girl pushed off her helmet along with the tactical mask. Steve jumps at the sound on his side, Bucky let his gun fell to the ground. His eyes were wide open and his breath came out in erratic puffs. Wanda raised a brow as she exchanged a concerned look with Steve.

"I thought you were dead", he finally stutters. The girls smirks and drop her helmet to the ground, kicking to the side with a loud tump. Loads of memories flowing trough his head, making him shiver at the sight of her.

He came back from an late assignment after a long time away from the compound. His eyes lingered at her the entire time as she played with her teddy bear between her mom's legs. He was in a chair, doing routine exams in his arm after finishing the late mission report. She looked at him and smiled, waving her tiny hands in his direction.

Later that same night, she broke into his room. A huge grin across her features as she put down her dinner in his small table. Her soft voice humming to the melody of one of The Ink Spots song.

"You need to stop lockpicking, kroshechnyy", he lectured, sitting down across from her.

"If you tell me that again, I'll have the pudding all to myself", she threatened, earning a soft laugh from the soldier. "I wouldn't need to lockpick anything if they stopped locking you up here".

The soldier sighed, and shook that sudden sadness off once he tore a piece off of the bread and shoved into his mouth. The girl must've have eight or nine years by now, he saw her birth. Since she started talking, he was her target for everything. Since drawings, to new stuffed animals the other doctors or soldier brought to her. He didn't like much the thought that a little piece of sunshine like her had grown without knowing what was to attend school, play in the park or having friends of her age. But he was gratefull for the special fondness she had over him. She would slide into his room when she had nightmares, or just couldn't sleep, she always shared her meals with him for not being able to finish all herself.

Nora was an exceptional kid. Great hability on learning every single thing they taught her. At some point, she was tested after her "natural" enhancement. She was daughter of the only woman used in the Winter Soldier project, born unnaturally by lab breeding, she was injected with the serum even before her body was formed.

The times for her training came, they made sure to hurt her as much as they hurt him, and that killed him. She would be spared with him for fights to unconsciousness or until one of them were too weak to continue. She was good, strong, her small body was useful in a lot of ways, but mostly to scape from bigger enemies like him. They made him hurt her, for her learning. To turn her into the perfect soldier, emotionless and methodic.

Sadly — for them —, she wasn't like that. She couldn't be tamed or bent to no one's wills. Nora was fierce, bright and strong. Deadly strong. All the torture, the spanking sessions and the confinement never tore apart, never took out her warm personality; her kindness could never be erased. She was just that good.

After the sessions, she would still sneak into his room at night. Even after he had beaten her up to her unconsciousness, she would always come back to his room and assure him it was alright, that she was still his friend. A deep bond has settled between them. Until he dissapeared. The last time she saw him, she felt a hug wasn't enough to say goodbye, almost as she knew he wouldn't come back. She shoved an old drawging she made him when younger into one of his back pockets and prayed for him to be back soon. When he didn't came back, she was in pieces.

Knowing she would never be a weapon to them, and knowing too that she was way to smart to get rid off, Nora became a doctor, an apprentice of the scientists. After his disappearance, she didn't felt the necessity to smile ever again.

"I thougt you were dead", she objected.

Steve had to get a grip on Wanda's elbow to try and assimilate what was happening, his eyes not believing in the scene right in front of him. The unknown girl spread her arms as his best friend sprinted like a child, throwing himself against her. Both falling on the ground in a tight, emotional embrace. Bucky pressed her head against his neck, caressing the soft hair under his digits. It was her. The smile, the eyes, the smell in her hair. It was her. Bucky felt his eyes water a bit as she let out a faint laugh. He was bigger than before, broader, but also a lot more soft in every other way. He pushed away enough to cup her jaw in his hands, watching all over her features as she lit a smile that made her cheeks ache, tears blooming in the corners of her eyes. He left out a nervous laugh and pushed her again.

"I missed you", he sobbed. Whispering his words, he lowered himself to hug her, her quick heartbeats deafening his ears.

Wanda was not understanding why the normally cold and close-for-human-contact James Barnes was sitting on the ground with a girl between his legs, hugging her like she was about to die right there and with a crying face. Steve cleans his throat, trying to get their attention.

"Anything you might wanna share, buddy?" He asks, a grin spreading all along his face and crossing his arms at chest level.

Bucky stands up, offering his hand out to help her get up too. They stand side by side, his hand tightly grasping hers. Steve had a good feeling about all that, even though she was a agent from Hydra. From all he could bring together, the girl belonged to his life at some point. The happiness in his friend's eyes only making that more clear to him.

"I know her since she was a kid." He explains. "She kept me company, even when I was in cryo she would never leave my side."

Steve smiled even more.

"That makes her one of ours?" Wanda asks in low tone only to Steve hear. Bucky approached, his flesh hand tight around the girl's shoulders as she smiled shyly.

"Nora, this is Steve, my former best friend, and Wanda". Nora faked a betrayed frown, a hand to her chest and a scoffy expression loaded in drama.

"I thought I was your best friend!", she snorted. "Still, it's a pleasure to meet you, Captain Rogers.

"The pleasure is all mine, Nora".

[dearmyblank]

Dear my blank,

First of all, three things to know about me : I love love. I am a happy, positive person. And I believe in the importance of a fulfilling life outside a romantic relationship.

In terms of relationship, I know exactly what I want. A few years ago, I made a list of the things that I would find in the ideal man, doubting that person exists. And then I got to know him... Oh boy. Know that song by Savage Garden? I knew I loved you? It's a pretty acurate description of what happened to me. I saw my future, I felt complete, I found a new kind of home outside of my family and friends. The whole nine yard. I learned to utterly trust him. I never was afraid to be myself around him. We laughed, we joked, I shared all of my thougts, he listened to me, he understands me better than some of the friends I've known for five years. And in some way, I think I understand him better than I understand anyone else. That was, and still is, the good part.

The bad part is that he doesn't feel the same.

When I saw forever, he saw a nice friendship. When I fell with each sliver of joy we shared, he was busy not seeing me that way. When he told me, it took me a while before letting the pain sink in, because I knew what was to come. And when it did, I was devastated. The person I waited my whole life to love didn't love me back. It's a doozy. In fact, it's more than a doozy. It made me wish I could wrench my heart out of my chest, so the torture would stop. For once, I didn't ignore the sorrow, the thing I fear the most. I embraced it. I sobbed, I felt sorry for myself, I talked to my brother and my friend about it, I ate junk food, I drank coca cola, I listened to depressing songs. I also did the undignified thing of questionning my entire existence from now on. For a while, there, I didn't see my goals and aspirations, anymore. I didn't know what I was going to do with myself, nor who I was without him, without that thing I've been looking for, for years. I was completely lost. It's terrifying to try imagining your life without someone who doesn't want to be with you, and see nothing. I am now a week into the heartbreak. It does not seem long, but for someone who clings to happiness as fiercely as I do, seven days of sadness and existantial crisis are unbearable. And then, a few hours ago, my country got me out of the dark. We are now in the middle of an african socker tournament. My country was doing so well, and for the very first time, everyone was united and proud to live here. But we just lost. You would expect anger and destructive behaviour, but I saw only gratitude and pride. The joy survived the defeat. And I found my light and goals, again.

Of course I still love him. I don't know if I would ever stop. Of course I'm still heartbroken. And maybe romantic love will not be a part of my life. Maybe I will never find that ideal man that would love me back. But I remember who I am now. I remember that there is still plenty of things to look forward to. I still have my passions. I still believe in that fullfilling life. I am still dreaming. And I am slowly learning to live with the pain, and force myself to see beyond him, again. It's a start. Let's stay hopeful for better days.

Me

[kpurereactions]

Big bang Reaction to you wanting to cuddle but they are mad at you

*A/N: for these more couply reactions i just can’t get myself to write them for Yougnbae anymore… I m a very superstitious person and pretending like Hyorin and he didnt just tie the knot for our own imagination makes me feel like I’m personally going to jinx them and i just can’t have that bad juju in my life. Plus I absolutely lover her and feel like if I’m ever supposed to be her bff i just can’t do her like that… for the more platonic ones ill include him, but i hope you guys understand where I’m coming from. Whether Admin Nari does this is completely up to here, its just how i feel:)

Jiyong:

You knew by how tired his smile was when you got home that it was not a very good day for him, but neither was it for you. Your meeting lasted two hours over, your deadlines were changed so you were now rushing and the bitch that sits two desks over was just dry humping your nerves. Guying watched you with tired eyes as you took your shoes off and dropped your bag to the floor. ‘I thought you were going to make dinner tonight.’ He said harshly as you walked over and sat down next to him. ‘Oh I’m sorry I didnt know I was now your personal chef.’ You said sarcastically. Usually he would laugh off your comment, your bite was one of his favorite things about you. But not today.You opened your eyes confused as you watched his back make its way into your room, your head saying and eyes rolling as he slammed the door shut behind him. You knew pretty well at this point what battles you should pick with him, and in this case you did tell him you’d cook and never told him you’d be late. As hard as it was to admit you hoped you’d make up for it with your food. After going overboard with the dishes that now sat empty in the sink you thougt you had made up for it as he sat a few inches from you on the couch and propped his feet up. He even chuckled a few times at the show you were watching. Your first yawn brought you to a slouch on the couch and your second brought your head to rest on his shoulder. Even though he was giving you all the signs of being back to normal, you reaching for his hand seemed to be the straw that broke the camels back. In one swift motion he sighed hard, yanked his hand from yours and stood up, walking into the bedroom without any explinaition. He expected you to fallow, and when you did he would be ready to round on you, sending biting words your way as he let out all his pent up frustration on you. The longer he yelled the worse he felt for it though. He’d stop mid sentence and sigh, looking at you with sorry eyes, which would instantly soften your glare. He’d walk into your chest head first and only sigh again when you wrapped your arms around his back.‘Sorry I’m a dick.’ 

Seunghyun:

You were late. You weren’t answering and he was extremely worried. He didnt care that you were out with your girlfriends for a night of fun, what he cared about is the fact that it was nearing 1 in the morning and you still weren’t stumbling through the door for him to clean up, which he’d promise he’d do. He was worried that something bad happened to you, that you were now in the back of someones trunk and he’d have no idea. At this point in the night even if he wanted to go to bed he couldn’t. Still he tried, serves you right for scaring him like this.You walked in only 30 minutes after he tried to lay down, completely sober and your shoes actually still on your feet for once. This made him angry, why were you so late and why were you sober and why were you unable to send him a text back. These were all points he made when he walked ut of the bedroom to meet you with a scowl on his face. To him it didnt matter if the girls just decided to have a little house party. It didnt matter to him that you must have left your phone in the kitchen where it was hooked up to charge- you scared him. He pouted to himself as you cleaned yourself up and got ready for bed. Usually seeing you makeup fresh off with your once neatly done hair thrown up to the top of your head was his favorite thing to see, but he was mad so he laid there on his back staring at the ceiling with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. The feeling of the bed dipping down next to him made him want to look, but he was mad, and the fact that you still hadn’t seem to fully notice was making him even more mad. He huffed as you scooted into the bed closer to him, but didnt actually shut you out until you tried to wiggle your way onto his chest so he could hold you tightly like he normally did. He could practically hear your eyes rolling as you sat up to face him. He actually had to force himself not to smile when you smacked his shoulder in attempt to get his attention.‘Go to bed, Y/n.’He’d know you would argue and he’d let you pout and get upset with him for being mean, but when he laid on you just how scared that something bad had happened to you he was and you shut up by just how much he was right his mood would drop. ‘You just scared me. Now can you please go to bed?’ He’d roll back onto his side away from you, but when your body hooked tightly around his he’d smile softly before rolling over to hold you. 

Daesung:

He had been gone for close to two weeks now doing promoting for his new album, which meant he was exhausted, and that the last thing he wanted to see when he got home early one morning was you sleeping on the couch with cans upon cans surrounding you. You obviously had a party the night before and even though he truly did love your friends he knew how they could get. He woke you up by kicking empty cans to the side. You didnt know whether to be excited or embarrassed that he got back to your apartment and it looked like this. ‘I thought you were coming in tomorrow?’ You said with a half hopeful tone, thinking he’d just push this aside for another time. ‘I thought I was coming home to my girlfriends place, not a pigs stye…’ he said kicking another can before going into your bedroom. You sighed and let him have his moment, following him into your room to see him already laying on the bed with his arm covering his face. ‘Im going to shower, ill be right back.’ You said heading straight for the bathroom. When you were finally out you snuck back into the room quietly to see him laying like a starfish, slightly snoring on his back. You smiled and watched him softly as you dressed in clean clothes. You were torn. Do you lay down with him right now and let him hold you like you dream about every night or go back into the living room to clean up the mess you had made and risk waking him up. Laying with him just seemed like a better deal, you’d nap with him and when the two of you woke up you’d send him to shower while you quickly cleaned your mess and started dinner. But the moment that back of your head hit his  shoulder instead of hugging you closer he slipped out from under you.‘Why are you laying down, you need to clean up.’ He spat, crossing his arms without even opening his eyes. You spat back, telling him you’d like to lay with your boyfriend who didnt tell her he was coming, and then again to tell him that he was the one living in her appartment when he wasn’t off gallivanting around the world. He’d get angrier at you for your words, but he knew you were right and would eventually try to pull you back into his chest so he could nap with you, knowing perfectly well that you were now too mad to lay with him. At first he’d ignore you, but seeing how desperately you were trying not to scream at him as you stomped away he’d let his head fall into his hands before he got up to they and help you. He expected you to lash out and after trying to get you to let him help a few times he’d just go take his shower in hope that he hadn’t completely ruined the day. You wouldn’t forgive him until you were stood over the stove trying not to cry into the meat you were stir frying when he wrapped his strong arms around your torso and mumbled an ‘Im sorry.’ into your hair. 

Seungri

You could help the fact that your ex showed up to one of Seungri’s openings. You couldn’t help that you were stuck talking to him and you couldn’t help the people who noticed it to be a problem. Not even Seungri noticed until the next morning when the two of you were laying in bed with a slight hangover. His heavy, angry breath would be what caused your cheek to rise off of his bare chest. All he did was show you the zoomed in picture of you with your back to the wall and your ex leaning in a little too close for comfort. ‘He was being so annoying I couldn’t get away from him.’ You said in an annoyed way. Seungri sat up quickly causing you to awkwardly roll over so he could look at you with now angry eyes. ‘He was being annoying? That was my event! your ex comes near you, you tell them to leave, not make it look like there something for others and maybe myself to be questioning!’ He said loudly. You looked at him dumbstruck, he could not have been serious. ‘You were too busy taking shots with your friends to notice me trying to get your attention, and its not like I didnt try to walk away. He followed me all over the restaurant because he probably thought I was still single since my boyfriend was running off every which way the entire night.’ You tried to say as calmly as possible. You rolled your eyes under your lids when he scoffed at you, and instead of arguing you laid back and put your hands over your face.‘I got rid of him eventually, I just didnt want to be rude to a guest. Please lay back down.’ You said wrapping your hand gently around his wrist. Instead of dropping it he pulled his hand harshly away from yours and continued to scroll through the pictures he took to see if he could find more. Instead of sitting there and waiting for him to find more to yell at you about you took a blanket and your pillow into the living room. He’d huff and puff, happy that he won the bed but still mad that you would do something like this. The more he looked through the pictures you were actually in he started to feel guilty as he was usually smiling and you were int he background looking very uncomfortable, and always looking right at him. He’d get up, wanting to somehow coax you back in bed with him, but after seeing you already passed out of ht couch he’d just curl up tightly behind you, whispering he was sorry as your eyes fluttered open. 

Kitty

[define--onomatopoeia]

Jesse and Matt: so you saved that girl's life last night

Me: well she saved mine (and my daughter's) (7 years ago) so

This girl whom is mentally and physically handicapped was being raped for over ten years. It's a very difficult situation.

Since I can see people for people and much beyond their physical ability to communicate, that made it so much more difficult

Yet. She and her sister were forced to have sex otherwise this guy would kill someone and he had when they refused.

So in this situation there was a willingness from the victim. But only to prevent the suffering of others.

The physically capable sister was desperate to find help for her sister. She would do anything to find someone to help her.

She desperately contacted dozens of people. But i, being probably one of the only people that does crazy shit to get help, am the only one that was able to break the surface. Although it took more than a year.

So now both sisters will get help, the guy is in jail and more will follow.

Luckily her workplace boss is way super understanding and can take measures to rectify this horrible situation so that it's amicable and in the end, everyone ever involved as a victim can be free and healthy.

Stockholm Syndrome is likely a part of the disabled girls issues and yet Stockholm is so very tricky. It happens to the strongest of individuals. It's not fear but education that things can be much worse for themselves and others.

In many cases, the ones I've seen, Stockholm Syndrome only happens to heroes.

So despite the terrible light the able girl has shown upon herself, her shadow stands in a much different window than what one would expect.

I didn't save her life. She was fine for whatever punishment she received. She was more than ready to accept any punishment whatsoever as long as her sister was left alone.

The disabled sister also was ready to accept the punishment her sister faced. She knee her sister was doing all she could to keep her safe and she appreciated it so much

But I saw her immediate sadness and fear she quickly covered with hope and love and acceptance.

Those are two beautiful girls whom were exploited and harmed in the most horrible of ways. And they protected my daughter and myself from being in the same situation. They are my heroes.

I'm only lucky they exist and I would never harm them.

So if you're reading this and you're one of the people involved and you're either a victim or a "bad guy" it's just best to turn yourself in. Because I will find you and believe you me, you're best to be in jail when I do.

If you're not and you're a person that she asked to help. Just know she didn't exactly ask in the correct way and it was extremely difficult to extract the S.O.S. and apparently I'm the only one that was able to push her to the limits to not only turn herself in but also tell the truth about what she was trying to expose and hide at the same time. In the same regards, know that she trusted you. Do not know this to feel bad, guilty, depressed nor anxious. But also that you're a witness, most likely in a way to be able to sit down and remember and to help prosecute the individuals that we all know you have despised in front of the sisters at least once. So while you have not been able to help so far, you can. And you're trusted and needed. So feel the honor she shed upon you in her desperate attempt to flag you down for help. Now is the time to turn in your reports to help protect these young girls. Even information that may force the girls to look bad in your eyes, may look different in the eyes of justice. So it's extremely important to report everything exactly as it happened. We know that they appeared willing. However there is so much more under the surface. And while able sister seemed to be supportive of their abuser there's things things that you definitely noticed. Like I remember able to prep the abuser so he was softer and more gentle with the sister. Also she complained most about the sister being cold and then used that as an excuse not to take her sister to the abusive places again, until the location changed or lives were threatened beyond repairable harm. This small issues although can cause anger at the victims themselves are actually proof that they were actually trying to defend themselves against harm. So as I have mentioned, actions occurred that angered you and at the time you most likely angrily looked at the victims and spouted bitter things maybe even directed towards them but in all reality was towards the Rutherford. I know I did the same. But it's those incidents that will help justice gain monumental ground. So please report things that you may feel should be hidden. Because in the eyes of justice nothing should be hidden.

I advise you to write only what your eyes saw. It may be painful for you, stressful so remember that in reporting you're not just doing the right thing but you're making a difference.

The fact that you hated the girls for what they did wasn't revalent. You can write you're feelings but put parenthesis around them or use italics or something to differentiate your feelings from the actions of others so that you can show that you're capable of removing yourself from the equation and to fully understand the reasons for the actions the girls suffered although at times they may not appeared to be suffering. You must understand they were hostages and just trying to make the best of a horrible situation. Because that is truly what happened.

I know this because the same exact thing happened to me. But because I refused to obey except only enough to prevent mu daughter from being raped and fought back, unlike the girls. He preferred them and thus saved me and my daughter. Sure one can say I just only saved myself. But what if they didn't exist? He would have beaten and raped me into full submission. And I would have had a heart attack and died. I nearly did. I did end up in the hospital after watching the disabled sister be raped. I managed to crawl and stagger to the school's front desk to sign my daughter out so that she could be with me as I went to the hospital. And I collapsed before my daughter was even able to leave her classroom. Luckily I was able to draw a scrawl that ended up with the pen digging into the paper so hard it ripped all the way down the page as I fell.

Which then ended my torment but began the torment of the sisters.

So you can see why I ask that people turn themselves in and also be willing witnesses to this case. Because not only was i in the same situation as the girl but many others were as well.

I have not Mentioned if you're a victim or known one to please report it. But i am asking now. I know it's extremely difficult and painful but as of now all you have to report is that it happened to you as well. If you cannot do a full disclosure report (discovery) because it's too painful. You will only be listed as such. Details do not have to be presented. Details are much better to be presented as it creates a stronger case. However we will take all we can get.

If you want this bastard put away for life please do not lie!!!!!!! Never do that. We have enough evidence that it is absolutely not necessary!!!!!!!!!

But do be advised he is in jail and has been doe about a weeks time. And he will not get out and daily charges are being added to his docket. He will not be granted bail at this time. And so more evidence, witnesses and victims will help to keep him from making bail. Will prevent the judge for allowing him to be out on his own.

Yes he is planning to escape. And we are willing to allow him to try only so that more charges are filed against him. And also so we can laugh at his stupidity. Because we have to. Because it is healthy.

So if you do hate this bastard and are willing to lie about being a rape victim. Don't. Report what he's actually done. While you may feel angry and helpless and feel you may need to do more. You dont. We are all here together. We are not alone. We do need you to step into with us with truth to make the case stronger than him and his lies. 1+1=2 and 2 is plenty more than just Rutherford

I call him Rutherford. I don't what you do. Maybe Carl. Maybe something else. I've called him many names as he goes by plenty. Report those names as well. They're most likely under file and so it will be known whom you are talking about

If you're just a ramdom reader, I hope you understand what I have written and I hope you pray for our strength and most importantly justice. And not only just for us but for people all around the world. Just a moment of quiet peace in prayer will make a difference and will and so reflect the feelings we will have once justice is finally served. And know we feel quite a bit of that peace now. Although it's only the beginning of our fight, we will succeed. And we will have full freedom to feel safe in time. We are working for that.

Remember, although you may feel painful feelings and thougts, you're not the only one. Sharing them now will help not only yourself but those that stand with you although we may be invisible and you feel alone. We are here.

Marc is back from Texas. Most know Nurse Carolyn at the pharm so both of those are accepting reports and are heading the investigation. Either on a paperwork scale or emotional scale. My friend Rosa is also investing time to find truth.

The able sister is under investigation at this time. We expect truth to release her as an abusive party in this case.

However If evidence comes to light that she was a primary abuser of her sister then appropriate actions must be taken no matter how i or others feel about the case.

If I have spoken the ultimate truth, do not dispair. Much evidence is being combed through now. Videos, voice recordings, and other evidence is being evaluated completely. And so if I have not spoken the ultimate truth of the true character of the able sister, then do not dispair.

We will find it. So as I have said, if you're an abuser it's best to come forward now.

Also if you're a witness. Because eventually someone will ask you for the report.

If you just want to write it and add to it slowly, which is actually the best way to do such a report as it is extensive and has gone on for a great length, it's best to go ahead and drop a note to state you're planning to report.

It is the holidays so we all just want to be happy and think of cheer and happiness. And this does fall into the category. It's a lifetime moment not a hallmark.

So don't get all bugged and depressed and angry. Remember it's going to set us all free in the end. And so feel it as you report but close your writings and walk away and watch some Christmas classics on the TV. Spend time with your family and shut your mind, open your eyes and love and know who you are with.

Take your time. Edit. Think about it. Let it play through your mind once or twice. Rest. Then attack Rutherford with all you got with your words in your reports.

It's a war. And we have the weapons. He has nothing. Nothing.

We let him think he has all the weapons in the world but it's only so that we can enjoy his falling so much more. It's kind of twisted, I suppose. But watching justice is an extreme sport and you got to be deep enough to feel it's true gladiator spirit.

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 8]

And here we are at the end. I hope you’ve all been enjoying the ride, because it’s about to get a whole lot weirder in this, the final chapter.

Warnings this time around: a whole lot of drug use, some underage drinking, DUI but it’s okay because Tiaa is a vampire, bestiality, and an attempted sexual assault. Also did I mention drug use? There’s a lot of drug use.

Recap: Tiaa met a panda bear named Snoofles on her way to school (please don’t think too hard about this) and learned that she can now talk to animals, among other abilities. Thanks to a vague new ability of hers, she accidentally made her mean classmate Lauren get struck by lightning while they were in a verbal spat. Edward finally decided to leave Bella for Tiaa and the two celebrated by having sex in the middle of the school. Bella walked in on them and got upset.

Chapter 1

Previous chapter

hey guys sory its been so long since an update, i hav been so busy latley. sooooo..i had a fight with my old beta but i have a new 1 now an she is helpin me byut she is on vacaton this wk and next so i promise i will sort the spellin mistaks out wen i can!

Did she refuse to beta your fic after you stole her poster of Gerard Way?

Chapter 8 - the Kidnap

I sat alone in the changes rooms, i was all most naked and looked awsome with my exotic lithely hair falling down over my face like a curtan of soft yellow cream with bits of purple in it but I didnt care how beautifull or eqxisite I was any more. 

Tiaa doesn’t care how beautiful she is, but she had to start the sentence off by reminding us all how beautiful she is. And that she looks awesome. And her hair is exotic.

Whatever that means.

Edward was gone. he had left to follow Bella to stop her from killin herself and i was SO mad. 

Wait, are you mad Edward is attempting to prevent Bella from committing suicide?

how coud he leave me like that after sayin bella was a cow and he didnt like her no more? 

That doesn’t mean he’s fine with letting her make attempts on her own life, Tiaa.

I was pissed! and the tears were falling down my face like a tepid summer rain of misery and woe. 

I love this goddamn sentence.

So i went home and skipped school and sat in my room in my black corset and leather panties and i smoked some drugs and started to weep. 

To be fair, this is a really solid stoner-goth aesthetic she has going.

…wait, hold up, leather panties? 

Leather panties?

dave came in and made a big smiley face.

He’s in a really good mood for someone whose brother was murdered hours ago.

"hi tiaa! I didnt no you were home! how was school today?" (he didnt notice i was smokin drugs he thougt my cigarete of pot was a chapstick)

Okay, for the sake of argument, I’ll buy that Dave visually mistook a spliff for chapstick… but can he not smell that she’s smoking weed?

"it sucks!my life sucks and i want to DIE!" i scremed and my eyes glitered with beauty.

Love how Tiaa is suicidal but still needs to make sure we know how pretty she is at all times. Reminds me of the bit in “My Immortal” where Enoby was flirting while sobbing.

"u teenagers and ur problems, LOL!" he said laughing a lot, and i knew he thougt i was just some silly kid wineing about homework and dumb boys and stuff. 

Well, replace “homework” with “getting raped by the relative of a caregiver, turning into a vampire, and accidentally seriously injuring a classmate” and Dave’s on the money.

he didnt no i had killed a man and lost the love off my life and had made lauren get hit by lighting and that all the kids at school thougt i was a freak becase my face and bodys were so diffrent from everyone elses.

Do I really need to tell this girl to stop humanizing her rapist? She killed him in self-defense! It was one hundred percent justified! C’mon, Tiaa, don’t be so hard on yourself.

Also, nobody cares about Lauren.

"dave your a good person but ur SO FUCKIN DUMB! YOU ASSHOLE!" i shouted at him and i threw my ashtray at his head WITHOUT TOUCHING IT (i could make stuff move when i was angry now...it was so weird! why did this have too happen to me!)

Well, yeah, that is weird, but I don’t get the woe-is-me attitude about it. Telekinesis is a really cool ability. Also, turns out Dave is literally so dumb that you can be an obvious nonhuman smoking weed in bed while screaming about wanting to die and he’ll take you for an ordinary teenage girl holding a tube of chapstick.

"haha, i guess your right" he laughed (he thougt i was joking, i wasnt spoiled or anythin) 

…so did the ashtray miss?

"its so nice havin you hear tiana, your so pretty. i swear your even prettier than before! 

I can’t help but feel that the amount Dave and Marie compliment Tiaa on her looks borders on inappropriate, considering she is sixteen and they are her foster parents. 

and i think your boobs hav grown!" 

Case in point.

"yeh i no they are like an E cup now" i said.

I guess it’s a good thing she’s a vampire, then, since I’m pretty sure vampires can’t get back problems.

Wait. Can vampires get high? Does being high feel different if you’re a vampire?

Dave smiled and patted me on the head and left.

That Dave!

I was so sick of bein treated like a kid and no one listenin to me that i got up and got dresed in a long black dress and took some pills (of drugs) and went out to the local nightclub which was called Pablo NIghtmare - it was a goth club were all the cool people went in forks. 

Listen, I don’t know Washington State, but in my neck of the woods small towns don’t have goth nightclubs. 

I love that she specified the pills were drugs, in case we thought they were sugar pills or something. 

bella probably had never even heard of it, LOL! 

If there is a goth nightclub in your small town, I guarantee you everyone has heard of it.

i met snoofles on the way and he came with me. 

You’re taking the panda out clubbing?

we went to the club and got drinks and started dancing to the heavy metal music. 

…I’m starting to get very confused about Snoofles. My initial impression was that he’s a regular panda bear, but Tiaa is able to communicate with him because she’s a vampire and can talk to all animals now. But I don’t think ordinary pandas go to clubs, get drinks, and dance to heavy metal music.

Although I’ve never met one, so I could be wrong.

ppl there stared at us cos i was so diffrerent looking and Snoofles was a panda, but we didnt care we were havin so much fun we were SO drunk and had taken a lot of drugs so my head was fuzzy like there was snow everywhere.

I adore the similes in this fic. No idea what Tiaa is on but I definitely know what the author means by feeling like there’s snow everywhere in your head.

"hi your called Tiana arent you? I am Jasper and I go to your school" said Jasper Cullen who was tall with blond curly hair like straw only soft and nice and not dry. 

So… not like straw, then.

he was tall. 

Yeah, you mentioned.

he was wearin a black pulover and red metal pointy shoes. (AN - haha, that descripton sounded beter in my head, OH WELL!)

No, it’s good, I dig it. Simple goth on top, bling on the bottom, may or may not be wearing pants? It’s a look.

"hey whatever" i said. "why arent you with that girl i all ways see you with?

"you mean my GF alice," he said and locked soddenly very sad and started to cry and bite down hard on his lips.

"what is wrong Jasper?" i said

"the problem is i dont love her like she loves me. i am gay, and thats wrong, and i feel so horible about it!" 

Of course he’s gay. Look at his outfit! Look at those shoes! I can’t even see him for real and my gaydar is going wild.

"theres nothing bad about bein gay u no" i said. 

"REALLY?" he sed, and looked chocked with his mouth open.

Good on Tiaa for being an ally. I love how Jasper reacts as though he’s never considered the possibility that his gayness might be alright. He’s a vampire too and has been alive for well over a century, so that’s a lot of internalized homophobia… but he’s also been around to witness the entire modern LGBT rights movement, so you’d think he might have gotten the “it’s okay to be gay” message before.

"yeah, its proper normal and Snoofles is gay and everything" i said and Snoofles waved and Jasper waves back. 

If you just got a bad feeling about what might happen next, trust your fucking instincts.

he smiled and we all stared dancing together and Jasper gave us some of his drugs.

I really wanna know what they’ve been taking, because even though Tiaa isn’t human I feel like anyone who can get high should have to worry about drug interactions. Weed and alcohol is fine, but aside from that I have no idea what the hell Tiaa is on except that she described it as “pills” and a lot of drugs that come in pill form do not play nice with alcohol. She probably isn’t going to fry her liver or anything like that given that she’s essentially undead, but I doubt she’s immune to having a bad trip.

we had a relay good time and jasper met another gay guy called Vince and we all got in Snoofleses car at the end of the night and i drove around while the others all had sex in the back of the car. 

A note: At this point in the story I quite literally had to stop the MST for a bit so I could pour myself a very stiff drink. 

The panda has a car. The panda is having a threesome with a vampire and a human in the back of his car while another vampire drives it. This is treated as normal because the panda and his two human(oid) sexual partners happen to all be gay.

Like, I’d normally feel pretty weird about the “promiscuous gay” stereotype being invoked, but I’m way too busy feeling weird that the author thinks it’s normal for gay guys to want to screw a panda because the panda happens to be gay too. Also, keep in mind Snoofles can only talk to Tiaa — the dudes he’s having sex with can’t understand him. I’m gonna say a panda who behaves like a human and owns a car is probably capable of consenting, but I still feel mighty weird about the idea that two dudes who perceive Snoofles as an ordinary, non-talking panda would want to have a threesome with him.

I guess the promiscuity aspect isn’t even bad considering how Tiaa and Edward have been acting with each other throughout the fic. The bestiality, though, I have trouble overlooking.

(i was drunk but cos i was a vampire it was ok to drive i had beter reflex than humans!)

Sure, but do you even know how to drive? In most states, it’s not legal to get a learner’s permit until you’re Tiaa’s age, so we’re not talking “experienced driver with superhuman reflexes,” we’re talking “superhuman reflexes, but on somebody who quite possibly has never sat in the driver’s seat of a car before.”

but soddenly somethin jumped into the road infront of us and i had to stop the car and get out. there was a man standin in the middle of the road he was tall and mussely and had black hair like the black feathers of a raven in the black darkness. 

But was his black hair like the black feathers of a black raven in the black darkness? I just want to be clear on the color.

he was good looking but he looked so angry i got out my samurai sword (i often have it with me!) but somone jammed up behind me and tore it from me, there were like ten people all grabbing my body in the darkness and they put a thing over my face so i coudnt see and they tied me up! 

Oh, of course, her samurai sword. Yep. Been with her the whole time.

Jasper Snoofles and Vince were too busy doing gay sex on each other to notice, i cud hear them grunting and humping and having orgasms on each other - it was so cute but now was SO not the time! 

She’s being attacked by a group of ten or more people, who have overpowered her, restrained her, and blindfolded her, in the middle of the road. Three people (well, a person, a vampire, and a panda) are present and they don’t notice this happening at all.

Like… I know they’re all intoxicated and, uh, otherwise occupied at the moment, but did they not at least pause to notice Tiaa slamming on the brakes to avoid colliding with a stranger in the road?

The men who had caught me took me away and somethin hit me over the head and i was unconshous.

when i awoken i found myself in a small dark room and the tall mussel man was in front of me. i was strip down to my underwear and i was chained to a chair with some metal chains and i coudnt move.

Tiaa has superhuman strength and reflexes. She has telekinetic abilities. She can affect objects and people by touching them. 

Yet she can’t get out of being chained to a chair?

I call BS.

"WHO ARE YOU YOU WANKY PERV!" i shoyted.

She sounds like Wheatley from “ITS MY LIFE!” now.

"I AM JACOB...THE WEREWOLF KING!" he yelled with his eyes rolling around in his face - he looked so mad and CRAZY!

Jacob’s a big dude who can turn into a wolf, but he’s also about fifteen and just learning about the whole werewolf thing, so I doubt he’d be “king” of anything. Also Tiaa could take him easy.

"NOOOOOOO!" I scremed and i try to broke myself free but i was under so many heavy chains so i looked into his wagging face insted.

I don’t know why she reacted so negatively to Jacob’s response. There is a longstanding vampire/werewolf feud in the Twilight universe, but Tiaa is very newly turned and shouldn’t know about any of that yet. Learning your kidnapper is a werewolf sucks, but if you’re already a vampire you’ve got an edge too.

"Watt do u want from me? why am i here?" i say and i started to cry.

"YOU MUST BE PUNISHED FOR WHAT YOU DID TO BELLA SWAN!" he shreeked and the drool was sloapping down his face just like rain only thick and foam-like. 

So… not like rain, then.

"YOU ARE A HALF-BREAD! 

I’ve got to change this blog’s name right away. I don’t know what I was thinking naming it “The Half-World” when I could have named it “The Half-Bread.”

Also, hold up — what did Tiaa do to Bella? Is this just about “stealing” Edward? Jacob and Edward aren’t exactly buddy-buddy, and if Bella’s single Jacob has a chance with her, so if anything I think he owes Tiaa a thank-you.

YOU SHOUD NEVER HAVE BEEN BORNE! YOUR FATHER WAS A VAMPIRE AND YOUR MOM WAS A WHITCH! ITS WEIRD AND WRONG AND NOW YOUVE BROKEN BELLAS HEART! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD!" 

Well, this really does speak for itself.

This dude was insane, he was so angery he was jumpin up and down. 

Sounds like my second-grade teacher. She was the daughter of a well-known Republican senator and she had to resign after she tied a kid to a chair with a jump rope. True story.

But something he said had caugt my attention .

Good job on the punctuation.

"What do u mean my mom was a whitch?" I said.

What do you think he meant, genius?

"MY FATHER USED TO NO HER! SHE LIVED HERE IN LA PUSH AND SHE WAS A WHITCH! SHE COUD MAKE FIRE COME FROM NOWERE AND CONTROLL THE WETHER AND TALK TO ANIMALS AND LOADS OF OTHER STUFF! SHE WAS A FREAK LIKE U!" 

I guess this does explain Tiaa’s extra powers, but, I have to say, I don’t think Jacob gets to criticize anyone else for being freaky when he can turn into a wolf.

Of corse! It all made sense now! 

It didn’t all make sense. There’s still an interspecies gay threesome that needs explaining.

I was so shocked I fainted,

and also got my periods and commas mixed up,

When i woke up Jacob was in front of me and he was NAKED! He was smilling in a proper creepy way and looked totaly weird like a greasy frog thing and his male genital item was not nice like edwards it was like a horible wet mushroom.

Honest to god I love these similes. 

he stroked my knee with it and i gapsed. whatt was he going to do to me! 

I think I have an idea, actually.

but sudenly before he coud come any closer the door of the room we were in burst open!

IT WAS EWDARD!

Here to save the day! And to end the fic, because this is it for “Forbiden Fruit”: BeckyMac666 left us all on a cliffhanger, so we’ll never know what happens.

I do genuinely love this fanfic. I love how it’s written, I love the similes, I love the purple prose and the melodramatic tone, and I love my girl Tiaa. It’s a truly fantastic badfic, and I’m happy I got to introduce others to it, too.

[becomingamermaid]

offical rant 123 begin

My stepfather is, once again, drunk today. Mother and I spent cleaning up the kitchen together and I alone did the bathroom. It may not sound like a lot but both of us are disabled and it’s...harder. (one of my doctor’s even said i had such a nice disposition despite my illnesses.)

Anyway, he comes home and what happens? He messes up the kitchen fixing food and he doesn’t fush the toliet when he uses it. It smelled again like piss and again i had to clean it up. I couldn’t yell at him, not with this level of intoxication. Last  time I accidentally balled up my fists and well he came at me with a crush and wasp spray.

I’ve got no where else to go and i don’t make enough money to live on my own AND pay for medication, doctor rides, doctor visits all out of town. I regret not killing myself. I regret it every day I choose to live instead.

Whenever he’s drunk it’s a situation you have to feel out. He’s a strong man and you can’t make him angry. I often have to rescue my brother from his tirade. I remember having to try and save him when e was an actual baby and my stepfather woud take him riding with no carseat in his arms. Mother would stop me.

She sure did trade a lot in the sake of love...didn’t she. 

He came home and i was back in the back with mother. ...We don’t spend time together unless he is gone. So I was, after cleaning, back there and all he did was just come in and lay down. I immediately wanted to leave. I wanted to scream. I sat there and tried to finish the episode. I didn’t like to let him know he gets to me. 

Never in the history of my life do we watch tv together, not the three of us. I would always leave. I am more so used to isolation than I am to communication and honestly, being around other people is so frightening that I litterally do not say a word. Even Kase has tried since we’ve known each other to get me to talk when there are more than 3 of us together. I can’t handle groups well. I litterally do not talk. I will not talk.

I’ve gotten a host of nicknames because of it. People terrify me and i’m already so ostracized so much for being weird that i panic. It got worse after i got sick and couldn’t leave as much.   

My birth father gives me...empty promises, time and time again. When will he visit? I don’t honestly know and while i am drawn to him, he too, must be kept at arm’s length. It really was like a little girl sitting on the steps all dressed up for a father that never comes. I’m some sorta stereotype. Absent father figures. Abusive alcoholics. An emotionally distant mother. Raising a child at 13.

Last time, I managed to take from my step father more of mental blow than a physical one. He was not technically my father of course, but he made it known that i am not his. It shoudn’t have hurt as much as it did. No one wants me.

I spent so much time trying to figure out what it was that made me so fundamentally unlovable. What skill I did not possess. I know it was not beauty. Growing up not only a fat kid but a FAT kid was hard. Even harder: a dark skinned fat girl who didn’t act “black enough”, the “oreo” if you will.  Any confessions of like were immediately met with with the terrible giggles. I expect to hear them, even now. I never once had a  boyfriend, or a date, or even, at the most, a kiss. I don’t think I’ll ever get them. It’s my new year’s resolution to find someone, not so much to date per se, but another friend. I wish on 11:11 an stars too. (Logically i know i put in the work for it, i will recieve it and i try to communicate to others but most just...find me odd. different.)

But I did have a hug you know. Not from my mother, who even from her own mouth said she didn’t know me. It was one guy who recently passed away. He was the sweetest guy I ever met in high school and he was one of the first people to give me a hug. I didn’t realize it at the time but i was starved for affection and attention. He never once laughed at me or treated me as a joke.

Over 10 years later and i still remember that hug, a soul mending hug. Yes, I am well aware it all sounds incrediably silly but the kindest thing I was ever offered was a hug by someone i grew distant from as years went by. Someone who cancer took. I cried that night. Somtimes, I think of him and still do. 

God is cruel.

My step father came back after everything was cean an well messed it up again. Dishes need to be put up again, he never flushes the toliet. Sometimes he’ll eat or take a bite out of something and put it back. There are a lot of unboiled half eaten hotdogs in the pack an you have to be careful that you are getting something that is whole and not partly cooked. He does not clean at all. He leaves his dirty clothes everywhere.

I tried my hardest in highschool an college not to come back, but my dissociative mental breakdown in front of the school left me unable to go back. I did everything before I got sick. I crammed as much work as I could. So much so that instead of completing my degree in four years, I almost, almost did it in 2 and a half. almost. I had scholorships and everything. I had a 3.999 or something like that. I had to get express permission from the dean to take more than the alloted hours, I was on top of everything. Until....the weight of it all and schziophrenia and depression took root. I don’t remember much from that day but my name was sarah and i had a baby and someone was threatening to take it away.

Later one of the therapists said I kept talking about it. I don’t know a sarah.

All i really remember from that night was the ambulances and waking up somewheree in the business department. I think someone was trying to talk to me and i was going to pass out. I remember it was night. I remember the trees.

I also remember my main therapist in the er thougt i was on drugs and had me tested 4 times for it in my blood and found nothing.

(I didn’t like him. and he wouldn’t believe me. He thought it was impossible for me to act as i did without any type of drug. No man, It was stress.)

I had more to say ut i’m getting tired and my nerves are acting funny. More so I just feel tired. Unnervingly so. ...

......

.

[lgbt-advice-page]

I hope it’s okay to submit this, but it’s too long for an ask. I’ve been questioning my sexuality since forever. I’m now sure I’m ace (i kind of always knew that, even before knowing it was actually a thing, i just didn’t want to accept it so i still questioned it) but i thought i might be aro, too, only i lately feel like that’s really different from day to day. I’ve now begun to think about myself as aroflux ace lesbian which feels so good and right but i don’t know if i’ll ever be brave enough to out myself irl because i’m so scared that people will laugh at me or think i’m a special snowflake or whatnot. I mean, my friends and family don’t even know that aromanticism and asexuality exist. I told my mum about asexuality and she didn’t believe me until I calmly told her to look it up when she didn’t wanna listen to me, and then she did and was all surprised that i was right and said it concerned her that i know so much about lgtb+ and if i thougt i was asexual, but she said it in a way that made it absolutely clear that she thought that was ridiculous. If i just outed myself as a lesbian, i’m 100% sure she’d accept and support me, but if i ever told her about being aroflux and ace i’m sure she’d laugh and say i’m too young and that i just wanted to be special or try to talk me out of it bc she’d think i was just a late bloomer and shouldn’t sexualize myself by claiming i’m ace or something like that. I’m just so scared to come out to anyone, and i don’t want to come out just as lesbian because that would absolutely not feel right, but coming out with three labels at once? I can’t get rid of the feeling that i’m ridiculous and dumb and should just “choose one” but that’s just not how it works. Also i’m afraid of somebody asking if my labels don’t exclude themselves and not being able to answer properly. My best friend is gay and another very good friend is bi (yey to lgbt+ kids finding each other) and they both told me they’d known their sexuality since forever. I know it’s silly but i feel stupid for questioning so long. And even now i’m only sure about being ace and still have doubts about being aroflux and lesbian. It’s the only thing that makes sense, and it feels so right, kind of like an arrival, like finally finding the right thing, but i can’t help myself but questioning it. I’m only 18 and i always feel like i should just wait and see, but it bothers me, and i want to think that just because i’m young doesn’t mean i don’t know myself. Okay, this turned out to be more of a venting than a question, i’m sorry.

Answer: Here’s the thing about coming out, you don’t ever have to. That’s something that belongs to you and I don’t think people realize that. You don’t have to be public about your sexuality, it can definitely be private. So if you think coming out will make people question you then you don’t have to at all. It matters to just you. I don’t see why anyone needs to know. Most people come out because they are in a relationship and would like to introduce the person to their loved ones. But if you are aro and ace then do you think you’ll be in a relationship? If not then why tell anyone? If they ask why you aren’t dating then you can just say you aren’t ready. I don’t think your mom will take it seriously now, she will assume you’re just not ready for a relationship. It would probably be best to tell her when you are much older.

It seems like this is stressing you out because people won’t get it. You don’t need to tell them. You can just enjoy the comfort of finally figuring out who you are. I truly know how it feels when you find a part of you. It’s like finding pieces to a puzzle you’ve been working on all your life, right? Enjoy it, no one needs to know until you want to tell them.

- Nicole

[captainlittlelouisjensenhere]

I never post personal stuff in here. But i decided to do it now. Mostly because, I’m sad, I’m miserable, and there is no other place I trust with this. My english is shit, so before you read further; sorry. 

I’m a skiinstructor, I love this job, I love teaching kids and making them do things, that others thought was not impossible. Trust me, you feel like its impossible, but then they just do it, and you get so proud it’s crazy. Anyways, I went on a season to work, and all I wanted was to have fun and teach kids. That’s all. I didn’t want love or boys, just wanted fun with my friends. It was unbelievable. Skiing everyday, kids getting happy when they saw you, playing in the snow with them and getting them from kindergarten to the mountain, its so wonderful. Then you fall in love. I admit it, I did think about so much I started to say to myself: The only reason why you think of him, is because you know he’s an idiot and he’s in love with the same girl, he’s been seing for the last, what, five years? You’re just a colleague, stupid. I said that to myself all the time. The first time I realised I wanted his attention was this one day, where I had kids, that was both good and bad. I had one kid, he made me cry, but the kids didn’t notice, I just smiled everytime I saw them. The day was done, and of course, let’s call him X and me Y. X came at the right time. I was trying to stay positive for kids, I really couldnt they were falling and complaining because they were so tired. He said: “ Y, you need help? “ “No, I do not, X, just go.” He didn’t listen of course and took easily two of my kids out of what, eight? Just pulled them a little so they had speed and then the two next. I thougt to myself: Fuck off, please? But he didn’t. Later that day he said to me: You okay? I shrugged it away. Nothing happened for a few days, I just hated him. Then just one really good day, I had some really nice and awesome kids, he’s at the same lift as me. He’s being silly and so on, one of my kids says: Is he normal? I answer: Yeah! Of course! (Honestly I thought he was straight up Phoebe crazy). After that, I just wanted his attention, I talked about him at home, but not in the good way, I always said: X is such a shit, he’s worth nothing, why would I care for him? But I did. I don’t know why. I still don’t. Let skip time a little bit. We started texting a lot and we became good friends, and I thougt: This is fine. Because it was. I gave him the nickname, Old Ugly Man and he called me Resting Bitch Face, that way he became friends. All this happened between Christmas and the last days of january. A few days before entering february, we get drunk together, all the young skiinstructors, I dont why I said yes to it, but I said yes to going home to him. It was the most stupid thing to do honestly, like he has a girlfriend. But, nothing happened, I was so drunk I just fell asleep. But of course, he proved to be a gentleman. Did he lay one hand on drunken me? No, he didn’t. I always wake up when someone touches me no matter what. I fell asleep on the couch, but I woke up in his bed, both duvets on me, he slept in the livingroom on the couch. Just like in the stories. I remember walking out to him sitting next to him, he wakes up, asks me: Are you good, Y? “No... X, I’m still fucking drunk and we have to get ready for work. The next few days were weird. I remember he texted me: It was nice with you this morning. I didn’t know what to answer back, mostly because I was in my underwear that morning and we shared a blanket, which is  an important detail, but I didn’t think about it so much, I’ve done that before with my friends. All of a sudden, my really good friend, we’ll call her F, says to me: X is looking at you again. What did you do friday night? All I could think was: Well, I was fucking drunk. Three days went by. Sunday, he started to look at me alot. He always texted me, I didn’t think big of it, he always texted my roomie as well. She sometimes answered for me, because I didn’t know what to do with him. Mostly because I haven’t had that kind of attention in a while and I was like: What do I do? Hell to that, I’m going to bed. 

Then there was monday. Well I remember him. I got a really good group compared to normally. X had a friend who kept giving me kids, and I was so close to exploding. I ended uo yelling at the friend in the phone. When the day was done, X said to me: Hey, I’ll be nice, but only if you smile for me. I was like: I don’t need your kindness. (Yes, I wanted it, but you guys know, you sometimes don’t want them to know). I said: Okay, I’ll smile for you. Once a day. “ He laughed and said: Fine with me, I will make you smile. This was in the end of the afternoon. 

Now tuesday. I get up in the morning, everything is fine, I’m getting ready for work with my roomie, we talk about some different things and laugh. We get to the office and the first thing I see is X, being really pissed. Not sad, pissed, angry, furious. I tried to smile to him, he just shrugged at me. I did worry a little, cause he’s always happy, even though he haven’t had his morning cigarette. Half an hour into teaching my kids, I get a text: Morning sry not my best day. I found out that my x-girlfriend cheated on me. I’m not gonna lie to you, at all. Only one thing went through my head, and that was his pain. I myself have experienced being cheated on. All I could think was: Fuck, bullshit. I felt so sorry for him. It was so sad. He did not in any way deserve it! I saw him at the mountain at some point. I offered him to eat with my kids, he had such a bad day. It just crushed me. That day, I went home to him. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to be his friend and make him happy. I went home to him and he was laughing at me in the beginning. I texted him; I know where you live, I can just take the bus. I missed the bus and ended up taking a cap. I remember him saying to me: Did you really take the bus? Yes... We started laughing. Then I asked him, what happened? He had to think an extra time, what did happen? I got answer I didn’t quite believe, not as in, that’s not possible but like, what the fuck happened? I felt so sorry for him. I remember I slept by his place that night. We had pizza some playstation was played and then we watched some tv. I remember I ended up hugging him and he hugged me, and then all of a sudden we just kinda snuggled each other. I got tired. Not like, this is boring, but it just felt nice. I woke up like around eleven in the evening and I said: Maybe we should sleep. I remember I went to change my clothes but I had forgotten a t-shirt. I borrowed one, and for like twnety minutes he fised some stuff and I went to bed. He of course wanted to sleep on the couch. “Come on, X. The bed is big enough for both of us. It’s okay. “ I really did think it was okay, after all, I’ve slept in the same bed as my other male friends. I almost fell asleep when something happened. He started touching my lips. Like really gently, then he stopped, and started to touch my face, just analysing it I think. I fell asleep to it. It felt so nice. 

Already the next day, wednesday, he did it again. F said to me: He’s looking at you, like really looking at you. I was like, okay. I didn’t really tell people anything about what we did. Cause when it comes to the point. I shared a bed, with a fucking depressed guy, he’s girlfriend cheated on him after five years. I felt ashamed for a while, then it stopped. All of a sudden, I had the nickname: Sweedy. Time went by, we just texted and talked about our day, and then he asked me again; Do you wanna sleep with me tomorrow? I was like, yeah sure. Then I said it to my roomie. She was like: Yeah, you’re gonna get dick!! Then all of my friends was like that, wuhuu. of course it made me think. I liked the guy since around Christmas, yeah I had to do something. The thing is, I did like him, and now I finally had his full attention. Did I enjoy it? Yes, I did. His friend told me: X hasn’t been like this with a girl in years. Please take care of him. I said okay, I think. We kissed that night, we were both so drunk, not only  on alcohol but on the idea of what we started was a good idea. One of my colleagues said to me that night: X is still with his girlfriend. I was like, no he isn’t? I mean she cheated on him. She was right. But I will go back to that later. From this evening of, I entered two weeks of constant sleep overs, silly cooking together showering together, him always taking care of me, on the slopes, at his apartment, holding me in my sleep and not judging me at all. One night, I had a nightmare, it was terrible, I woke up still hearing the horrible sounds. He woke up as well. “I had a nightmare. “ I whispered, really ashamed. He just hugged me and kissed me. “I’m here. I’ll protect you.” I fell asleep shortly after that. And this is the things that make you fall in love. I have really fucking shit nightmares. I’m twenty and most of the times with my nightmares I start crying. My dreams feels very real, and I dont like other people knowing how much my own mind scares me. He didn’t care like the others did. He just went: I’m here for you. He treated me like a princess I never lifted a finger. He was such a good person. 

Tragedy happened. It was short and good. He had an accident, he fell because of a kid and he had to go to the hospital. I remember I was with him. all of a sudden, I was figuring out ten different plans on what should happen. I got so scared and worried it was terrible. Then we got home. It was so weird. No more skiing for the rest of the season, I thought to myself, I have to help him, I’ll move in for a few days, maybe a week, I’ll do anything to help him. My friends just said: You’re so kind, Y. Just do it, it’s okay. 

Then hell started. He changed, he never wanted to see me anymore and we constantly fighted because none of knew what actually was going on. At least that’s what I thougt. All the time, he was still with his x-girlfriend, and now, I’m sitting here, it’s been a month since he felt. He broke my heart, and I gave him everything. All of a sudden, I was a sidechick. I did not want to be a sidechick. I haven’t eaten right in days. It’s disgusting. The worst part of all of this, I can’t even cry anymore. When my friends told me the other day, I just stood still, I was chocked, but all I thought was: Of course. It was too good to be true. He would never do all the things he said he would do. This short piece has taken two hours to write. 

I still just read the first texts we ever wrote to each other, because I want to go back. I want to go back and change what happened. It hurts so much, and I feel stupid for it. I’d wish I’d never met him or the good person I know he is deep down. He has a heart, and I’d wish I could’ve hold it just a little bit longer. 

[benjfen]

“Are foxes your thing or did you just like it?”

His heart leaps when she touches his hand, but mercifully she’s on the other side of his chest so she doesn’t hear.

“That sounds a lot like asking personal questions and not sharing the dirty dirty details of your tattoo.”

He laughs and doesn’t press her, clearly if there was significance there, it wasn’t something she was ready to share with him yet.

“Well, after mum died, I was already working you know in Uni but even with what I was making and the life insurance, the funeral pretty much took what little inheritance I was going to have.”

He moves his right arm to indicate the tattoo again.

“I had about a hundred quid left, not even, and I wanted to get a tattoo for her but er....”

He grins sheepishly.

“The girl at the counter for the tattoo shop was mad cute. Like ridiculously cute. And I didnt want to her to hear me give some sad sack sob story about my freshly dead mum, so uh, the barbed wire was the first thing I saw as one of their pre-made options so I decided right then to get that instead. And at the time I thougt it was perfect, ya know? Cause I was all by myself, and I wanted to show people that I was fucking tough, not to be messed with...but then it looks like this, so a bit of a backfire.”

She laughs.

“Was your artist drunk or something?”

“Artist is a very generous term Lolo. And I’m pretty sure he was on speed. It wasn’t the most er, clean place. I uh-had a bit of a scare actually after, because he didn’t have anything covered. Graham had me get tested, thank god I’m okay.”

She nods, looking at his arm instead of him.

“Good.”

“And I went somewhere else when I got the second one.”

She turns her head quickly.

“Second one?? Oh please tell me it’s on your arse.”

He laughs.

“No, stupid, it’s right there too. See the words above the barbed wire?”

“Oh. Jesus that’s faded.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s it say?”

Benjy smiles.

“A story for a story. Eye for an eye and all that-you’d get that being Catholic, eh?”

She rolls her eyes.

“Shut it.”

He laughs, poking her arm again.

“Is Mr. Fox all you have on you? I’ll acquiesce, if that’s the case.”

cleonafinnigan:

“Oh,” she replies thoughtfully as she watches her fingers travel up and down his arm. Whenever Shay has trouble sleeping, she’s typically able to calm him like this. He calls them “nice tickles” as opposed to “silly tickles.” She hardly even thinks about it with Benjy. With all these barriers broken between them now, her instinct is to touch him and bring him that same calm and comfort. “Say it again.”

She lifts her head to watch his lips form the words.

“Abadan laa tansynii.”

“A-ba-dan laa tans-nii,” she enunciates the syllables quietly.

“Mmhmm.” He smiles at the care she takes with the pronunciation.

“Yeah, well,” she puts her head back down at her arm as she drags her pointer finger in a squiggle along the inside of his forearm, “little danger of that, I think.”

“Is that so, kiddo?”

She narrows her eyes at him. “Sure, old man.”

His face splits into a wide grin. “Old man?!Really?!”

“You started it.”

“I’m not that much older than you.”

“Not much older? When I was 7, you were in your first year of secondary.”

Benjy’s eyes nearly pop out of his head, making her giggle. “Shit.”

She shrugs a shoulder. “You’re like a year younger than Axl…and he’s been my best friend for as long as I can remember.”

Her neck starts to ache a bit from craning it back to look at Benjy, but she ignores it. “He hated Emmett, by the way. Tried so hard to get me to break up with him, but I didn’t listen. I didn’t see that he was hurting me and eventually Axl had to back off. Said he couldn’t watch me let myself be treated like that…like less than I was.” Her lips quirk up in a small smile. “Losing him hurt worse than losing Emmett…but he was still the only one to take me in after my parents kicked me out—“

“I’m sorry WHAT?!” Benjy tries to lunge forward but hisses from the pain in his ribs keeping him back against the pillows.

“They were justified a bit, you know,” she smiles, both amused and touched by his outrage over something that happened over three years ago. “They put up with a lot of my shit for so long. Like a lot, Benj. I was horrible. And they didn’t like Emmett either, but if I was gonna date him and have his baby but not marry him, then well, you know. And Emmett didn’t see any point to us moving in together if I was gonna have it taken care of so…Axl took me in and a week later, my mother was a distraught mess on his doorstep, having convinced herself that I must be dead in a gutter.”

She moves her head back in his chest and slings her arm around his torso in a loose embrace. “Much to her surprise, I was not dead. Axl told them about things and I was back in their good graces.”

“People treat you differently, don’t they? When they think you’ve died or are about to?”

She opens her mouth to say something but then stops. He can’t quite tell why she’s looking at him like that.

“What?”

“I’m glad you’re not dead.”

Her tone is so serious he weirdly wants to laugh. It’s just so bizarre, that that was a reality, something that actually happened to him. He could’ve died. Easily. And he didn’t. It was so strange to be alive, but to not be himself.

She’s the only thing that makes sense right now, but he’s not nearly stupid enough to tell her that. He had no idea how she’d react and to be perfectly honest, having her as a friend and nothing more was better than not having her at all. Not having her meant having no one. And that, well, if that were the case, it’d be a lot easier to slip away. But here she was, lying in his bed after fighting monsters for him, determined to keep him here.

It was just such a shame that he was too much of a coward to ask her why.

He laughs softly.

“Careful, kiddo. That sounds like something someone who loves me would say.”

She raises an eyebrow.

“Your criteria for people loving you is them not wishing you were dead?”

He opens his month to correct her, but cuts himself off with a laugh, grimmacing.

“Oh yikes. That’ sad isn’t it?”

“A bit.”

She laughs with him, sitting up and stretching dramatically.

“Maybe start thinking about getting home, yeah?”

He ignores the disappointment rising in his stomach. God, he was so selfish. He’d already taken her free day.How dare he expect more.

“Yeah of course. Seamus Atlas would probably like to see his mum.”

She smiles.

“Seamus Atlas is asleep. His mum would like to be in her bed. But I only said maybe, old man.”

Benjy would also like to be in his bed but he’s somehow able to restrain himself.

“Well, regardless, er…I’m hot.”

“What?”

She’s taken aback by his phrasing, and for once he didn’t mean to be sexual.

“Warm. I’m warm. But I want to keep my blanket over uh…:” He nods to his legs.

“Well yeah. Do you want me to ask them to turn down the air?”

He tries not to stare too long at her lips.

“Nah. Could you just try to help me get this sodding thing off? I think that’ll help, I can sleep with a shirt on anyway, it’s been torture.”

“Worse than being shot?”

He laughs delighted by her.

“Definitely.”

Carefully, almost as if she’d afraid to break him, she takes one of his arms out of the gown. Where Graham had been rough, she had been gentle, and her fingers leave goosebumps on his arms in his wake.She notices.

“You sure you’re not gonna be cold?”

“I’m sure, habiibii.”

His voice is raspy, like it gets when he’s tired. Maybe it was okay if she was going to leave, he wasn’t going to be awake much longer. He’d be fine. And when she left he could start looking forward towards the next time she came in.

If he didn’t think about it, he didn’t feel pathetic.

His eyes close as she takes the right side of his gown off, but they fly open at her voice.

“Oh my god!”

“What?!”

She’s laughing too hard for a second to answer him, and then he sees that she sees it. His tattoo.

“You do not have a fucking barbed wire tattoo. You do NOT have that tattoo!!”

She’s doubled over, holding onto his hospital bed guards for support.

“What? I’m hard core.”

She swipes at her eyes and crawls back into the bed, seemingly undeterred by his half nakedness.

“Okay, I’m not going bloddy anywhere until you tell me the story of why you thought putting barbed wire on your body for the rest of your life was a good and solid life choice.”

He laughs, wanting and resisting to put his arms around her.

“I only-”

“Can I touch it?”

She sounds like a child, probably like her own child, and Benjy laughs again.

“Sure.”

She hasn’t noticed the Arabic above it yet, it’s much more faded despite being newer and it’s not quote the eye catcher that barbed wire is. He loves how soft her fingers are on his bicep.

“Lolo. I only share tattoo stories with people who have tattoos, it prevents a good chunk of bullying. Personal moral rule. So, show me yours, if you have them, and tell me about them, otherwise I guess you’re just shit out of luck.”

“I’ll tell you if you stop flexing for me.”

He flushes, and he knows she can tell because she laughs.

“I totally wasn’t flexing.”

“You totally were.”

“Listen, all I have left is my arm strength. So are you inked or not? Am I, perhaps, more hardcore than you?”

He hated that tattoo, but her hand on his arm almost made the stupid ass thing worth the nearly ten years of grief he’d been getting for it. Almost.