#i made extra so i'll eat it tmrw at work too

[jabeur]

ALSO!!!!!!! i made really good cous cous :)

[thatguymao]

thursday

morning weight: 113.8 lbs

fasted: 19 hrs

cals consumed minus cals burned: 471 - 540

net cals: -69 (nice)

~~~

was pretty bummed today ngl. woke up sad to see my weight didn't change this morning. plus, had to wait until dinnertime to eat, and it took so much restraint to not binge. still ended up eating more than I wanted, but i made up for it by going on my walk.

had lettuce and corn, chicken stock on the side, and whey protein. it's funny, I never really liked corn that much in the past. or at least not enough to enjoy a serving straight out of a can. but it was actually so good?? didn't stop me from eating 2 protein cookies tho, which added an extra 130cals. tmrw is another high res day like today, so I'll just make myself an extra serving of lettuce, corn, and chicken stock so that I'm too full to indulge in something sweet. And of that's still not enough, maybe apple sauce will settle the sweets craving? idk guess I'll see.

overall, I'm feeling stressed and lonely. I straight up have no more friends, only 2 ppl who can't see me as more than an acquaintance. I'm homesick and miss my mom. I'm stressed about unclear stuff related to my work/study, and assignments are beginning to get more intense. all this and all I can think about is food and making time to exercise and burn enough cals each day. I just want to binge so bad, not worry about weight loss so that I can eat enough in the day to focus on my tasks and calm down.

hope tmrw goes better, i don't have class but i might do some volunteer work? then I can spend the rest of the day studying and getting ahead of assignments, and hopefully still have time to do some exercises. gonna just go to sleep now cus ive been operating on 4-6hours of sleep per night this week and I'm losing it haha