#i lv luckys tattoo so much i kinda want it

[moriaarts]

Its been a damn hot minute, but heres the 327th battalion ✨

[elegant-agent]

i got tagged twice for a tag game and i’m not gonna make 2 separate posts but it’s long so keep reading

i don’t got a lot of people to tag but @suspiroatroz​ @askpredetor​ @lazydevilmonkey​ @extremistavenger​ @baselicoc​ @doggendoodle @peach-coffee-tea @achievealot

Rules: tag 20 people you’d like to know better and get them to answer some questions below

Tagged by @largestrongman​ (twice but it’s ok lv u bby)

Nicknames:

- wowo, wow-wow, willow

Gender:

- male

Star Sign:

- leo, august 13, very fun when it’s a friday

Height:

- 5′6 and a half

Hogwarts House:

- still know nothing about harry potter but last time i had this question i said that giant spider who lived in the woods

Favorite Animal:

- i’ve got a weird fondness of bugs now, but i’ve always been partial to dogs

Number of Blankets:

- one but it’s one of those massive, kinda padded ones you use for a bigger bed

Where are you from:

- originally san jose, california but i grew up in the valley, so technically not from the bay area, get fucked san fransisco

Dream Trip:

- honestly? i’ve always wanted to kinda get into space, so a space station or the moon would be pretty cool

When I started this account:

- june 2017, only 3 years. felt more like 30 with how much shit has happened between now and then

|||

1. Do you make your bed?

- no, never felt the need to. it’s not like anyone’s watching, right?

2. What’s your favorite number?

- lucky number 13 babyyyyyyyyy

3. What’s your job?

- busser at a local restaurant. pick up old dishes, sweep the floor, that kind of stuff.

4. If you could, would you go back to school?

- buddy i’m already in college and i don’t want to go back now

5. Can you parallel park?

- kinda? i can definitely do it sorta kinda, but it takes me a good amount of time to get it right

6. A job you’ve had that might surprise people?

- the fact that i even have a job at all, probably

7. Do you think aliens are real?

- statistically speaking, yeah. the universe is huge, the possibility that we’re the only ones out there is both terrifying and impossible. honestly? also yeah, i hope they’re watching us right now and i hope they see that a lot of us want to get to know them better ;)

8. Can you drive a manual car?

- nope, i only learned how to drive an automatic and even then it took me months to get it right

9. What’s your Guilty Pleasure?

- mm... don’t really have one that i’m willing to admit, except maybe for apex legends. i get that battle royales have saturated the games market for a year and that its numerous microtransactions are predatory in nature and in practice, but pathfinder just makes me go 😳

10. Tattoos?

- none on me, none in my future

11. Favorite Color?

- dark and cool colors. black and dark blue are pretty common colors i’ve got, but i’m also partial to dull red. i have also just realized that this was only about a single color, so all sorts of black

12. Things that people do that drive you crazy?

- using highlighters and permanent markers. the noise they make when they get on paper is just... irritating. even imagining it right now makes me reflexively cover my ears.

13. Any phobias?

- i can’t recall any that i have right now, but the dark always makes me pause. not ambient light at night dark, i mean darkness that you can’t see through dark, the dark in the middle of a hall with the light fixture you’re under flickering and the light at the end a faded fluorescent green dark. that kind of dark.

14. Favorite Childhood Sport?

- not a sports guy at all, but i did play basketball with my uncle a few times.

15. Do you talk to yourself?

- it’s not full-on talking to myself, but more of a thinking out loud thing, only when i’m alone.

16. What movie do you adore?

- spirited away! it was a movie that i loved watching, especially with my grandma and my sister. i know it’s a pretty commonly loved movie, but it just rings my heart in that very good kind of way.

17. Do you like doing puzzles?

- nope, video game or otherwise. always makes me feel like i’m doing something wrong, even if i’m doing it right.

18. Favorite kind of music?

- i dunno? i never pay attention to what kind of stuff i listen to, i just listen and i like

19. Tea or Coffee?

- coffee, but that’s only because i’ve never had any kind of tea. the coffee i like barely counts as coffee, it’s more like coffee-flavored milk

20. The first thing you wanted to be when you grew up?

- police officer. i know, yadda yadda pigs bootlickers corrupt blah blah etc etc, but i just want to help people. i don’t care what other people did before me, what i care about is how i can help someone in need.

[stayswaggyponyboy]

And so comes the time of reflection...the time of introspection....the New Year.  I’ve done one of these posts the last couple of years now and they’ve proven to be interesting to look back on, so for the sake of my own record keeping...here goes nothing.

2017. My.  Oh.  My.  What a year.  And I really wish I meant that in a good way.

January: started off unfathomably wonderful having the time of my life in Paris doing things I never dreamed I’d be doing.  Helping a famous haute couture designer prepare for his Fashion Week runway show, drinking wine on the Champs Élysées, sifting through record stores speaking blends of English and French, meeting up with friends in London.  Truly a wonderful month.

February: lots of pain this month.  And also some heartbreak....fuck that heartbreak man.  I suppose this was the month I learned how important open communication is and honesty with other people as well as yourself.  Don’t avoid shit man, confront it.

March: the end of something and yet the beginning of something as well.  And the beginning of something so truly beautiful it was.  Also the month I got my first tattoo woo.

April: the month I lost my best little lady but also the month I fell in love.  So hard in love with so wonderful a human being.  It’s very difficult to sit here right now and look back on this wow, fuck reflection.  The month of quality time and experiencing new things with a new person and fuck okay yeah this is hard, moving onto May pls.

May: another wonderful month spent loving my life and loving myself with someone else.  I saw Bon Iver live sitting hand in hand with someone who loves his music just as much as me.  Just kept on falling I suppose.

June: started a job that was a very difficult experience.  Thing is the downhill in life where everything basically went to shit.  He experienced awful things and the ripple effect was significant.  Cue depression.

July: don’t really wanna think about this month.  Turned 21 I guess.  Very grateful for my brothers.  Very sorry to anyone who was friends with me at this time...I was quite unwell. 

August: not much better truly....maybe worse, I don’t remember.  Let’s label these The Dark Ages.  But I was trying to get better.  I told my parents about my faulty brain.  On the 30th of this month I went to therapy for the first time so I did one good thing for myself this year at least.

September: I started to try and move on.  I worked on a beautiful show with amazing and talented friends.  I hated my job but at least liked the people.

October: tried something new.  It was fun and nice but didn’t last long of course.  Not much else....things still not great otherwise.

November: again, tried something new.  Learned a lot and was able to explore ideas that I otherwise wouldn’t have - thanks for that.  Went to Cape May and was in my happy place for a little bit.  Manifested something for the first time, that being my new job.  And rounded out the month getting hurt again ayyyy.

December: a lot of sadness and nostalgia and not great feelings.  Hopeless seems to be the word that comes to mind.  Finals...lots of extended family at my house....and starting a new job.  Trying to find comfort in literally anything.

It’s hard because while obviously there have been goods within this year...looking at it big picture like this...it all just feels....difficult to think about I suppose.  The happiest time of my year, the spring, now brings so much pain and nostalgia looking back right now, so it’s hard.  It’s hard to be a glass half full kinda gal after this past year.  BUT there were certainly little moments.  Little moments (shit already tearing up) like getting a greeting from my roommates every single time I walk in the door.  Or like a hug from mom after a really bad week.  Or a really helpful conversation at therapy helping things feel a little lighter.  Or like booking flights to do something I never thought I actually would.  Or like those snuggles with my pupper that I realized I had to stop taking for granted.  Or those laughs, god those laughs, at dinner with friends surrounded by people speaking a different language than us.  There are many other little moments, some tainted now, but moments I’m trying to remember as good nonetheless.  Through it all I’ve learned and I’ve grown and that’s all one could hope for I suppose.  

Now is the part where I reflect on the people in 2018 who meant a hella lot (it’s sorta in chronological order I guess):

CS, EW: I know there were a couple others in our apartment but ya’ll made Paris an insanely wonderful experience.  I honestly do not know what I would have done without the laughs and the late nights and early wake up calls and all of those damn crêpes and espressos.

TB: you kinda hurt me a helluva lot but I learned from it....perhaps I’ve learned I really need to stop trusting you lols but for some reason you were still a part of this year weirdly enough and I don’t hate that.

CH: I don’t really have the right words right now so I think all I can manage is thank you and I love you (and probably always will woof).

DM: I would honestly be lost without you and I didn’t expect that’s something I’d say.  I am so grateful for you and for your friendship and for being someone I am happy to come home and see sitting on the couch every single night.  Cheers to all the walks home, all the late nights, and all the stressful times. I am one lucky gal.

LV: you are and always will be my honest other half.  We drifted and did our own things at points this year and they were good (and some bad let’s be honest lol we thriving) but through it all, when I needed someone most in some of my worst moments, you were there.  And I can’t tell you what that means to me.  I love you a whole, whole lot.

SC, TL:  Two very unexpected lights in my life that I’m so happy are there now.  Living with you guys has made me feel safe in my own home again.  You’ve reminded me what comfort and trust feels like and wow I really needed that I guess so thank you.

DM: Mama you are my light, my beacon of encouragement, and I could not have done this last semester without you.  You honestly inspire me every fucking time I speak to you, to try and put out the good I want from the world and I love you for that.

ZS, BS, CS: This has been a really really great year for us.  I don’t know...you all have just become 3 of my actual best friends.  Sure we don’t gab about our lives together but I’m just really really happy with how close we’ve gotten.  Damn I love you guys.

JS: Yo real talk, one of my favorite people you are.  I am so glad and so lucky that you fell in love with my brother and decided you were down to marry him because I cannot tell you how important the time I’ve gotten to spend with you has been.  I feel like I can just unwind and take a deep breath when I’m hanging with you and your furry lil babies.  Thank you.  Thank you times a million.  Also your siblings rock and I love them all as well goddamn.

MS, JS: Every year that goes by, that I get older, I come to love and respect you more and more and it amazes me because holy shit I love you guys a whole lot and am so grateful for the two of you.  For loving me and trusting in me and always wanting to take care of me.  Damn now I’m crying ok I love you a lot that’s all.

BW: Ok honestly I am amazed you are on this list again but I’m so happy you are.  Somehow you’ve managed to be one of the most inconsistent friends but one of the truest and most honest.  There are things I have talked to you about that I’ve not discussed with anyone and that’s something I’m so grateful for.  To see where we started and where we are now is quite hilarious but hey, I’m glad you’re in my life one way or another.

DC: I spent a lot of my first couple of years at college wanting to move on and make new friends and this last year, the last few of months especially, I have come to find comfort again with all of you.  And like genuine happiness when I’m hanging out with all of you and I’m not sure when this shift occurred or why but I’m happy it did and I’m happy you all still accept me into your lives, thanks pals.

ZL: Though someone I can get very frustrated with, there have been moments throughout this year where I have been very happy to be friends with you.  And sharing in those moments, those conversations, has meant a lot to me.

EQ: Idk man you just make me really happy, you’re such a swell human being and I’m so glad I know you.  Keep being you man.

PN: Ugh my heart.  I am so glad our friendship has blossomed into something that feels genuine and supportive.  It started out as fun and exciting and cute and now it’s just like I have this wonderful human in my life that makes me happy every time I see him.  Thank you for being you.

2017 has been a very difficult year....and a very painful year.  But it has had it’s moments of sheer beauty as well.  And while I can’t say I’m optimistic and sure that 2018 will be great....I feel like...it has potential...potential for good things to happen.  And that’s all I can hope for.