#i love you nakahara chuuya you’re the whole reason i started bsd. you’re the reason i like it still. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tryingtofeelanything · 7 years ago

Text

Eventually...

English Bungou Stray Dogs Soukoku (just a bit at the end) & platonic Dazatsu One shot SFW (TW though : implied suicide attempts)

For DazaixHappiness week 2nd Day : How to suicide love / Birthday party. Third day will be on my art blog again. This... got out of hand. Like, it was supposed to be much shorter and somehow it feels like it changed into a series of short stories with a shared story line more than a whole, single one shot. I ended this in a rush honestly and, as some of you know, I had to translate it in English after getting done with the original version. So I really, really hope it’s not too bad. I did work hard on it. I may fix this when I’ll post int on AO3... probably next week, I hope. Oh, by the way, this has some references, well, about BSD manga and BSD Wan, but also about the real life authors. Can you spot them~? Happy birthday, Dazai~! ღ

June 11th.

The clinking noises of typing on a keyboard, with a tolerable speed, mingled in a well-known tune, of those sounds creating unfailing everyday life and familiarity, even where it wasn’t meant to appear. Atsushi looked up from the screen of the laptop settled in front of him for a few seconds, searching for the appropriate word he could not get a grab on. His gaze briefly scanned the office facing him, quickly noting a few of his colleagues in their most usual situation. In front of him, the grating of the plastic bag, wriggled with meticulous regularity, to the rhythm of Ranpo’s fingers getting one sweet after another. To his right, the sounds of Kunikida’s keyboard, smashed at an exaggerated, almost nervous speed. Leaning against one of the windows, Kenji’s heel nonchalantly tapping the floor, not caring about any tempo, too occupied as he was watching the city-dwellers’ swarming life. Behind his back, another sound, a lot less pleasant to his ears, of metallic items grinding against each other ; Yosano, busy with “maintaining” her “work tools". Finally, a few steps away, Naomi’s enamored monologue, having some tea with her brother between two files. The scenery was one of a distressing banality, some that could only be noticed, eventually, by someone who had not known the slow repetition of everyday life for far too many years.

Both two-tone eyes found their way back to the screen in order to type a few letters without real confidence. The young man was trying to remember the previous afternoon so that he could render it into the most accurate report he could master. The route he had followed with Dazai and the comments the latter had done about the case involved back then - a potential abduction of a kid on account of an ability - paraded in his mind. He reassessed his mentor’s words. This feeling was getting familiar too, but he could not prevent the surprise from overwhelming him every time he realized how right his reasoning and anticipations were once the investigation was solved. By the way…

He examined the small space on the screen giving the time in a digital format. The morning was getting quite late, and Dazai had still not passed the door of the Agency. Atsushi thought it right to mention it out loud. As if this situation was not a part of everyday life too - some familiarities are not good to keep. Kunikida’s frantic typing stopped. A sigh replaced them.

“ Nothing to worry about. He’ll just appear from nowhere in a poor state or I’ll get a call soon from the police office to pick him out of there. It’s always like that at this part of the year. You can expect, starting from now, two very hard weeks. Take it as a test. ”

“ A test ? Why this part of the year ? ”, Atsushi asked, looking perfectly confused.

“ One : the test. To determine how long you’re still going to be able to put up with this whining wimp. Two : this part of the year. This desperate case’s birthday. It’s surprising he hasn’t started harassing you yet. Get ready. The longer it takes to happen, the hardest it will be. ”

Atsushi was opening his mouth again still looking as much questioning. His colleague stopped him :

“ Yes, two weeks. One before it, when he does all of his ‘preparations’. It seems like he does all of his ‘best attempts’ from the previous year. One year ago, it was death by suffocation, defenestration from a rooftop. Among other ones, of course. And the second week is after his birthday. Since he couldn’t get into his grave, he harasses his colleagues instead to beg for money as a birthday gift. Ah, right… It’s exactly on June 19th. You can get yourself ready mentally-speaking. And to do his work too, potentially. Of course, he doesn’t do anything here for those two weeks. At least, even less than usual. ”

Tanizaki’s voice raised from behind the wooden screen hiding the sofa from the desks :

“ That’s impressing, Kunikida ! I couldn’t remember everyone’s birthday if I wasn’t checking on my calendar. I even forgot Dazai was born in June. ”

Kunikida answered nothing ; he looked like he was hiding some embarrassment, though. Atsushi saw him slide a hand towards his precious notebook, carefully settled close to his workstation. He wondered if he had written every members’ birthday right beside his “ ideals ”. Even Dazai’s. From sheer curiosity, the boy would have wanted to ask about it. His probable reaction appeared in his mind before he could do it, however, and he immediately changed his mind.

“ Ah, now that I think about it, wasn’t there an attempt with fireworks too, last year ? ”, Tanizaki said, coming back to the part of the room dedicated to work.

The newest recruit from the Agency quickly understood that it had been an attempt to blow himself up in the middle of “ fireworks "… Could they really get accustomed to this… strange part of Dazai’s personality so casually ? His colleagues got hooked on it and started talking about the incident. It seemed that Dazai had "accidentally” ran into a stock of explosive devices. And some people getting instructions right from the government owned the warehouse in question. Someone called “Sakaguchi”, coming right from the Special ability Department, had personally taken care of this case. No one really knew who was this Sakaguchi, by the way - and it seemed liked Dazai had made sure no one would know anything.

Eventually, only one conclusion imposed on Atsushi. His mentor’s birthday did not sound like it was favorable for celebrations. It felt too much familiar. And it was also so sad. Even for someone like Dazai…

His decision was made. Whatever kind of frowns he could get from his colleagues or Ranpo’s mocking smirk. He would prove that this day could be celebrated : he would hold a birthday party, and a decent one ! After all, he owned him at least that. Against all odds, after some obvious reluctance, everyone was (relatively) convinced by the newcomer’s enthusiasm.

The first considerations and preparations were not difficult to do. The main guest hardly sent any sign of life in the two days following Atsushi’s decision. He proclaimed himself “ ill from an unknown illness with, as the main symptom, the inability to leave one’s bed ” on the first day, with a phone call to Kunikida. The following afternoon, he was using the same number to send him a message with a shopping list consisting mainly of alcoholic drinks. His partner almost threw his phone across the nearest window, before he remembered it was his. The only real risk, actually, was that Dazai could annoy the Agency members so much that they would give up on any kind of celebration… like the previous year, or so it seemed.

The place did not pose any major problem either ; or rather, choices were very limited so that they did not really have to wonder about it. They would use the Agency, temporarily pushing desks against the walls - it took Kunikida some time to get convinced ; it was promised that only he could touch his desk to move it. They did not have any budget to rent a hall and no one owned a place big enough for them to meet all and not being cramped. The sum on one of Akutagawa’s paychecks, he had shown him once as his monthly earnings, furtively and treacherously crossed his mind.

Talking about Akutagawa… Maybe he was thinking too much about it, but, after the place, should they consider the guests…? Of course, all of the Agency was invited, but should he think beyond that ? He did not know who Dazai could meet outside of work at all… Or if there was anyone. Probably ? After all, Dazai was popular… Well, that’s what he was thinking, at least ? He could think about it as much as he could, his mentor never mentioned anyone Atsushi did not know directly from their mutual employer. Except from… one person, one he talked about only to criticize them in a negative way ? Who was from the opposite side - but they currently were on a truce and so wondering about it was possible.

Now that he was studying this case - something that Dazai had skillfully avoided until now, it seemed, by only sliding implied comments, in moments and situations which would prevent anyone from wondering immediately about their frequency -, his ex-partner was rather often mentioned. It was only things like “ I’m sure a certain micro mafia was there ”, “ it smells like hat rack, don’t you think ? ”, “ I rarely had such a bad moment, except with some chuu-huahua ”. That being said, Atsushi could brag about starting to know him well ; he could now easily determine when Dazai was mentioning Chuuya Nakahara, even though he never used his name, but a myriad of degrading diminutives from what sounded like an infinite list. And yet, he did mention him, and he had done it often since their hard-luck story with the Guild. Did they meet outside of work ? Nothing could prove it, but something like instinct whispered to Atsushi that, yes, they did. Anyway, no one could talk so regularly about someone else… not wanting it at all… right…?

Bringing it up to his colleagues was out of the question. They would only try to put him off this rather crazy idea and he would surely regret not trying. Well, it was a bit of a hazardous bet…

This morning, just before heading to work, and as he let Kyouka leave first, Atsushi took a decision he would have thought inconceivable just a few minutes before it : he grabbed his second-hand cellphone, opened his contacts list and searched for Akutagawa’s name. How had they exchanged their phone number was a mystery even for them. The facts were that they both had it and had not erased in only minutes after saving it. Using it was another whole story though… It was a true first time for the young man this one day.

The tone of the call echoed for a long time and he thought Akutagawa would never answer. Yet, as the answerphone was about to set off, he heard someone answering the call. Then, silence.

“ H-hello ? Um, Akutagawa…? ”

Still, the same silence. Atsushi held his breath, both of his hands tensing around his phone, which was like glued to his ear. He repeated the name of the one who was supposed to be at the other end of the line in a questioning mumbling.

“ What do you want, Jinko ? ”

Atsushi swore silently that he would never admit he jumped from surprise at this very moment.

“ Akutagawa… I have something to ask you ”, he stated with a tone he wished sounded solemn.

A slight sound came to his ear, like a snort, but he got no… “human” answer. After another moment of hesitation, he hurried to get to the point, realizing the person he was calling could just decide to put the phone down on him any time.

“ What do you know about Dazai and Chuuya’s… relationship ? ”

Akutagawa’s surprise was not exactly audible. However his… “occasional partner” (?) felt it very clearly. And was only granted by silence again. As he was trying to repeat his question, he found himself bumping against a wall of oppositions. For a reason he could not understand, mentioning this subject was absolutely forbidden. He insisted.

“ What do you want to do about this information ? ”

Fatal question. Admitting the reason of his wonders meant that he could not decline the young man’s presence the night of June 19th. Dazai would not be pleased about that, for sure. As he would complain about Chuuya being here too anyway. Yet… He sighed. This was the only concession he would do to reach his goal.

Akutagawa’s interest was still as quiet, but it increased in an almost visible way through the communication. To the point that Atsushi thought about sitting down for a moment, and he would have done it, if the idea of physically lowering down did not repel him so much - well, Atsushi would have been the only witness, but it was already too much…

Talking about his initiative did not get him any real answer to his question, or any explanation either, though. However, he understood that Akutagawa was giving him his approval. Only his approval. Before hanging up with no warning. The boy kept the phone against his temple for a while, staring at the immaculate and shining sink of his kitchenette, looking outraged. As he was staying motionless, in order to get sure he could really not hear anything from the other end of the line anymore, the device vibrated against him to inform him about the reception of a message. He eventually pulled it away from his face and checked the small screen. A message from his recent call - the very first one from him - was displayed, with a phone number. Atsushi’s heart rate suffered from some uncontrolled frenzy.

Taking some furtive side glances around him, as he was about to do something particularly compromising, he saved the series of numbers in his contacts list under the name “Nakahara”. Then, after a long moment of hesitation, he opened it. Another minute passed with his finger hovering over the phone call icon. He eventually could not find the strength for that and chose to write a written message instead. Today was still a day full of first times, anyway.

Atsushi swiftly left home, in order to not get late. He attempted, with some difficulty, to find a way to formulate his invitation message to someone he hardly knew, but he knew to be quite short-tempered and not exactly the kind to jump at an event involving his ex-partner - at least from joy… While he was barely and somehow avoiding some passer-by, the text, modified so many times already, took on a more and more look of some sort of official declaration of intent and he wondered if his message could ever get too long to be sent… It was about truce - several times, just in case -, about free - but really, really free, no obligation at all here ! - choice and finally, after two paragraphs and a few dozens lines, about Dazai. At last, after reading it again for the fifth time, he pushed the sending icon as if it was a button that had something about life and death. The young detective then realized he had frozen on a crosswalk and hurried to reach the building where the Agency was waiting for him.

As he was about to enter the building, his phone vibrated again. He jumped as if he was under a death threat. Nakahara Chuuya’s name was displayed on the screen like an order to answer in the following second. Maybe was he really under such threat…

“ What’s that ?! ”, was the immediate exclamation, even before any kind of ‘h’ from a very hypothetical ‘hello’ could be articulated. “ Nakajima… The were-tiger, Dazai’s newest flunky, huh ?! How did you get this number ?! I didn’t understand anything ! I am supposed to do something for this idiot ?! With his stupid bunch of ‘good people’ or something ?! What did this pathetic excuse for a human being do to you to force you into asking me something like that ?! ”

The boy stayed frozen on the threshold of the building, one arm reaching for the door. He jumped again when the Mafia executive’s voice resounded, pressing him to answer.

“ I… What should I start to answer first…? ”

The whole conversation sounded unreal. Like a dialogue of the deaf too, for its first half, at least. It also lasted quite a long time, considering how they got so little things out of it when it ended… At least enough for Kunikida to poke his head through several windows of the agency to check if their newest recruit was finally coming and, when he finally spotted him, to scream at him to hurry and get in. Chuuya got even more irritated by the mumbling that followed, half of it for his boss, the other half for his call. And yet…

“ I don’t see why I’d do anything for this idiot ”, were Chuuya’s last words before curtly hanging up. “ I don’t owe him anything and I’ve better to do than wasting my time for him. I don’t have anything planned for this day but even doing nothing is more interesting than putting up with him. I’ll see. If I want to bump someone off. ”

Once again, Atsushi found himself confronted with the sound signal informing the call had ended without prior warning. Nakahara did sound less… aggressive than at the beginning of the conversation. Despite the meaning of his words, he had high hopes. Was his intuition right…? He hoped so. Really. Otherwise, the whole night would turn into a fiasco…

—————————————————————

After this first tacit victory, though, nothing happened as planned anymore. Dazai decided to appear again three days before his birthday, in one piece. Sources of anxiety kept accumulating starting from then : their purchases - bought with everyone’s savings, the Agency could not really help them with money - disappeared, the main reason of the party kept coming in without prior warning when they were discussing preparations and how to organize them… He even looked like he came out of nowhere, once, while Yosano escorted Atsushi to get some drinks and snacks. The latter was convinced that he would lose a few years of life expectancy in this episode…

On June 18th was the climax. Dazai entered the agency in the middle of the morning, opening the door with a wide and dramatic move. Atsushi felt his hair stand on the back of his neck in an absolute warning sign. He exclaimed with a fake solemnity that he had a great announcement to do.

“ I’m here to bid farewell to you all ! This time, I’m about to find the woman of my dreams for a perfect shinju ! Well, not like I’ve any r…! ”

“ Dazai ! ”

Atsushi’s blood boiled. Everyone’s eyes were suddenly on him.

“ Please come to work tomorrow ! Please ! ”

Those times when Atsushi could actually surprise Dazai were rare. He once even made it his goal. Unfortunately, he could not fully appreciate the way chocolate eyes widened in surprise for a short moment. The expression only fleetingly crossed his face before his features softened back to let a light sigh escape.

“ Very well. If, really, you cannot go without me, I’ll make an effort for you. ”

The corner of his lips tensed in a slight smile.

“ But well, Atsushi… I’m so sorry. I am really not interested in men. ”

Atsushi looked away, unable to choose between feeling embarrassment or dismay.

—————————————————————

June 19th.

Atsushi should not be so nervous for something so trivial. He was. Definitely. He was not Osamu Dazai but he had already thought about dozens of worst-case scenarios involving the party. It could not go well. Why did he even get such idea ? Ah… no, no, no. Get a hold of yourself, Atsushi ! Everything will be alright if everyone believes in it…!

The young man had come earlier than usual to work after he got out of his usual way to stop at a flower shop. The premises were still empty when he entered. Kyouka should not take long to come in, though ; she was also about to depart when he left her. After he carefully hid a perfectly wrapped packet - two hours and nine tries had been needed to do it, and his young roommate had come to his rescue for the last one - in a drawer of his desk, praying every god he could think of for it not to disappear like half of the drinks and the cardboard for ornaments. After some time of thinking it through, he put his bouquet on the desk Dazai was supposed to use. He adjusted the composition a bit - daffodils ending the season and iris, interspersed by a few flowers of vibrant bluebells, enhanced by some ribbons here and there. He trusted the seller entirely for his choice. Dazai had never shown any interest for flowers ; they had felt like a good idea as a first present, before he would give, later in the evening, his actual gift - a book. Atsushi was sure about that one : Dazai liked reading a lot. He had taken a long time examining publications for sale in a small book store sitting close to his home. His choice had eventually inclined towards a collection of short stories. One hundred views on Mount Fuji. His mentor was hard to grasp, he would not have pretended he knew him that well. Yet, this work had immediately felt fitting. He just hoped he had not already read it.

The front door slid open with a very light noise. He smiled at Kyouka while she closed it as quietly.

“ You’re the first one to come ”, he noticed.

“ Kunikida is here too. ”

“ He’s early too. ”

“ He’s waiting in front of the door. ”

A slight, more bothered than amused, laugh passed through Atsushi’s lips. He checked the clock hanging on the wall. Kunikida would still wait 3 minutes and 36 seconds before turning the handle…

Dazai only came around 3 in the afternoon, with a wide pout crossing his face and looking particularly bothered from the effort he had to do to reach the agency. As he made his way to “his” couch, under Kunikida’s unbroken flood of blame, Atsushi rushed to his bunch of flowers to hand it to him.

“ Happy birthday, Dazai ! ”

The flowers were stared at from some distance away for a while, with an unreadable but almost suspicious expression. Then Dazai’s shoulder shook from a silent laugh and he took the gift. The boy could not exactly ignore the feeling of relief spreading in his chest.

The following hour, however, was only whining and Kunilkida’s more than irritated comments, getting to the point that no one could really work on any kind of task. Tanizaki, Naomi, and Kenji were luckier : they were on a small business trip with no real consequences for a client. They should not be long to get back, by the way. Atsushi hopped everything would go as planned and there would not be any setback.

The phone rang. Kunikida, as usual, picked it up. After the first formalities - identity, reason of the call, essential details about the case -, he spent a long time listening to, obviously, some client’s explanation. When the call ended, he silently stood up and made his way to Fukuzawa’s office, under Dazai’s suspicious gaze. He came out a few minutes later.

“ Dazai ! Tear off your rear end from this couch and get back to work ! ”

The succession of complaints this sole sentence triggered surprised no one. Kunikida did not let a single one get fully worded and vehemently pushed his partner towards the door. Atsushi could only exchange a quick glance with him and got up from his own seat.

The door, of the agency, then of the building, closed behind both men. Dazai immediately stopped his lamentations to move on to an amused smile instead :

“ So, then, where were we meant to go oh so suddenly ? ”

Kunikida was about to tell him the exact place ; he remained silent as he turned to the young man and met his gaze. A sigh escaped him.

“ You’ve already figured everything out, haven’t you ? … So you were the one who stole Atsushi’s purchases ? ”

“ So, how long do we have to stay outside ? ”, the young brown haired man asked, obviously avoiding the last question.

“ I figured that, with the time to go there, quickly stop and go back, it would take one hour and forty-two minutes ”, his colleague speculated, swiftly browsing his notebook. “ It’s quite far away from here. ”

“ Well then, Kunikida, instead of running to some place where no one is waiting for us, and since you wouldn’t let me have a drink meanwhile, you could buy me a coffee ? It’s supposed to be my day, right ? ”

Another sigh. At least, Kunikida could find a new café, and a rather nice - and expensive for his wallet, the only one to suffer - one. The Agency’s usual café was not an option, since Kenji, Naomi, and Tanizaki could come back at any moment and see them.

—————————————————————.

Two hours later - eighteen minutes were lost because of Dazai, who did not find anything better than offering a young waitress to chose her favorite bridge for them to jump from it together, almost crudely -, both partners appeared again in the narrow hall leading to their workplace. Seeing Kunikida hurriedly typing something on his phone, his colleague, uselessly loud, exclaimed that their client had been particularly impolite not waiting for them although they had made the trip for him only. A series of hasty sounds, hurried steps among them, came from behind the door. Eventually, Kunikida put a hand on the handle, glancing one last time at Dazai to show him clearly that his patience was getting to an end and that he would not do that much for him so soon anymore, and finally entered the room, taking a side step so that the main guest could get a good look at the work done while they were away. The way chocolate eyes widened for a quick instant of surprise did not look fake.

Atsushi really had put his heart and soul into it. The whole thing was a bit precarious, the desks somehow pushed on the sides, a few garlands clumsily hanged up and clearly cheap (the cardboard holding ornaments had suddenly reappeared in the afternoon in Fukuzawa’s office, whereas the latter would have never had the absurd idea of stealing it, and Atsushi would have never dared to hid it there), but the efforts were obvious.

“ Once again, happy birthday, Dazai ! ”

The latter looked down at the radiant smile from his… protégé ? Yes, maybe, a bit, he surreptitiously thought while noticing the wrapped packed he was handing him. He took it with a questioning look and, not caring about any decency, he unwrapped it immediately. Once again, a slight surprise briefly appeared on his face when he silently read the title.

“ I hope you haven’t already read it… ”

“ Actually, I did ”, he admitted, with a strange smile, softer than what he got those around him used to. “ But it’s a nice book. I wouldn’t mind reading it again. Thank you, Atsushi. ”

Even someone like Dazai, supposedly, could be delighted about the expression of joy, mixed with relief, which brightened Atsushi’s face at this moment.

It was however quickly interrupted when a black figure, which did obviously not belong there, but was clearly determined to firmly stay, slightly moved from a less lighted corner looking like it was made just for it. Akutagawa’s dark gray eyes were staring at Dazai with a piercing gaze. The latter looked sideways towards Atsushi, looking clearly disapproving. The boy answered with an apologizing smile. Dazai immediately examined the room, suspicious.

The first part of the evening went without a problem. Atsushi tried to approach Akutagawa cordially a few times. He kept his distance, scanning Dazai’s every move. The latter emptied a generous amount of bottles of sake, even though he was significantly helped by Yosano, who quickly became very jolly…

The door opened abruptly in a relative crash. Silence fell onto them immediately as everyone turned to another black figure, with only fire-like hair and blue eyes on watch standing out. A few minutes passed with no movement.

“ What ? Do you want a photo ? ”, Chuuya flung, closing the door behind him without any care for gentleness.

Atsushi cast a quick glance at Dazai. He had an ostentatious pout on his face. Chuuya, maybe not feeling so at ease, quickly took a look at everyone and stopped at Dazai with a disdainful glare. He walked to him with fast steps and forced what clearly looked like some bottle of alcohol wrapped in gift wrap onto the detective’s chest.

“ What is a Mafia hat rack doing here ? ”, the young brown haired man let out once he found his breath and grabbed the bottle with a critical look. “ And I hope it’s not one of your dated wine inside. ”

“ This is not the first time I’m coming here and anyway, you sneak in our headquarters whenever you feel like it, so I don’t see a problem. And about my wines, there is a difference between dated barrels and quality ones, you ignorant idiot ! ”

“ You’re the one with awful tastes, chibi. "

Dazai’s eyes stopped on a single peach blossom, carefully attached to the wrap with a thin ribbon tied around the bottleneck. He looked up at Chuuya, raising an eyebrow, but it was thoroughly avoided. Conversations echoed back around them as they found a new - more consensual - topic to biker. Dazai unwrapped the gift meanwhile, to find a high-quality bottle of sake. He did not make any comment about it, which clearly pointed out his approval. A very informed eye would have seen him surreptitiously slide the flower in one of his coat pockets. If Atsushi did not see it, watching them interact, he came to the conclusion that his idea had not been so bad. He would have not been able to say why he had this feeling though.

Maybe was it because, from this moment, Chuuya entirely monopolized Dazai’s attention. Sure, they only complained about each other. Yosano was interrupting them from time to time with a not so really elegant, loud laugh. The young man with auburn hair looked at her.

" She looks a bit like Kouyou when she’s way too drunk… ”

“ Ugh, Chuuya, you could’ve avoided talking about that. ”

“ You wanna talk about you when you’re drunk as fuck ?! ”

“ Are you sure you want to get on such a dangerous topic, Chuuya ? I have a lot of compromising files involving Chuuya and alcohol… ”

“ Hah ?! And what if you shut up for a while so that we can all have five minutes’ peace ?! … I’m going out for a while before I really make you choke on my hands right here and there ! And none of your buddies here could save you ! ”

“ Oh, chibikko is worrying about me now ? I would almost be touched if it didn’t come from a midget with such bad tastes… ”

Chuuya’s “ go fuck yourself ! ”, followed by the slam of the door behind him, actually meant “ I’ll be back soon ”. No one was surprised when, only five minutes later, Dazai announced he was going to get him. He was so small that some passerby could mistake him for a child stuck on the roof and call the emergency number for nothing. No one thought about asking him how he knew the Mafia executive was on the roof either.

Chuuya was barely starting on a cigarette, leaning his elbows on the fence separating him from the asphalt of the street, around twenty meters below. He did not react when Dazai’s footsteps got closer, watching the darkened sky with no stars, his back willingly exposed. He turned his blue eyes to him only when his ex-partner came to lean against the fence too.

“ I’ve never asked you to follow me. ”

“ I know. If you had, I wouldn’t have come. ”

A grumble answered him. Chuuya’s gaze turned back to the city spreading in front of them. A simple and calm silence settled for a few minutes. Then Dazai’s voice broke it gently :

“ Why did you accept Atsushi’s invite ? It’s quite impressive he could convince you. ”

Chuuya took the time to take a long puff out of his cigarette before starting an answer.

“ I was just curious, to see that someone actually cared that much for you. I wanted to see… your new colleagues and all… ”

Dazai just looked at him in silence, his face unreadable. Chuuya let him avoid the comment. He knew this face. He knew it hid the will to not let any kind of emotion transpire. It wasn’t all that hard to admit he was just a bit thankful…

“ Besides, Chuuya ! "

The suddenly joyful tone was rather worrying.

" I’m still waiting for your gift ! ”

“ Hah ? I’ve already given it to you, moron. ”

“ Ah, Chuuya, I would’ve never thought you were this shy. I even have no choice but take it myself. ”

A flash of understanding crossed Chuuya’s gaze before Dazai slid one hand on his cheek to bring their faces closer. Surprise first tensed the jaw under his long and thin digits. A breath imitating a sigh gratified the young brown haired man and the jaw slightly rotated so that their lips could perfectly mold together in an innocent kiss. They kept still against each other for some time, just enjoying the softness of the touch. It felt like the traffic had stopped under their feet, the only sounds from the city echoing from far away. A light laugh, lacking any kind of animosity, even betraying longing, made the throat wrapped in a leather choker shake.

“ You’re horribly sentimental tonight. It’s disturbing. ”

“ Don’t worry like that, Chuuya. It’s just a foretaste for what is coming tonight. You should read it as a signal telling you not to drink too much. When this party is over, I’m going back with you. ”

Dazai’s voice gradually got lower, turning into a whisper pleasantly vibrating against the young man’s lips. He let a few of his strands of hair getting gently pushed away by a bandaged hand. Before their lips met for a second time, he opened his to make a quick comment. However, his partner forestalled it :

“ You know my walls are too thin for me to bring you home. ”

Chuuya felt the need to whisper the few letters of “ pervert ” before kissing him again, even though that allowed his lover to feel his smile which wouldn’t erase, nor even fade. They had had a lot of “accidents” since their temporary partnership against Lovecraft and had found themselves in crumpled and soiled sheets of the mafioso’s bed several times. Their secret encounters had increased after Dostoevsky’s rats appeared in Yokohama. They started to accept it, to discuss without insulting each other, just lying together in bed, just barely a few weeks earlier. Dazai never had demonstrated any form of… “romanticism”. Kissing had only been used for their provoking, sometimes brutal game of seduction. Both pupils encircled with blue tones watched this face, formerly wrapped in bandages, compresses and band-aids. They got briefly covered by two eyelids, in silent admission. This naive boy had managed the achievement of making Dazai feel happy for just one night. Or at least, as happy as Dazai could be…

Footsteps revealed a third person was coming. Chuuya stepped backward in order to quickly break their embrace. His partner stopped him and put one hand on the back of his head, his fingertips pushing between red strands of hair, against his scalp, as if affectionately massaging it. The movement was meant to be soothing and he got it as a silent “it’s okay”. So he let Dazai kiss him tenderly as Atsushi froze a few meters away. The gentleness in Dazai’s eyes when they pulled away was something he had never witnessed before.

Chuuya finally acknowledged Atsushi's presence. The boy sported two very crimson cheeks. A part of Akutagawa’s coat was pulling at his arm. He probably had advised him not to check if everything was okay on their mentors’ part while denying him any kind of explanation… The were-tiger hastily apologized and stated that they could take as much time as they want, that he was relieved to see everything was going well. A split second later, the soles of his shoes disappeared through the door leading to the last floor of the building.

When the young man turned back to Dazai, he was smiling tenderly at him. Once again, he could interpret his silence. “ Thank you for coming ”. He let a small laugh out.

“ You better thank Atsushi properly. ”

—————————————————————

… it’s not so bad.

#DazaixHappinessWeek2k18 #OSAMU DAZAI #dachuu #soukoku #bungou stray dogs #fanfiction #atsushi nakajima #akutagawa ryunosuke #one shot #fluff #kunikida doppo #armed detective agency

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avoresmith · 7 years ago

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bungou stray dogs

okay, let me tell you about my current primary fandom which approximately .1% of my followers have any awareness of despite it having a...? okayish? popularity. it’s bigger in japan than here.

So you know Fate/Stay Night and in general the trending fondness for taking the stories of real life dead people, taking half a dozen bullet points from their wikipedia page and then making them in an anime character who has exactly four tiny things in common with the actual person? And then you do that like ad nauseam until everyone is trying to kill each other while the fans all want them fucking?

Okay that’s Bungou Stray Dogs but with (usually) dead literary authors from the last century-ish.

It’s dead author AU super powered detective/mafia fanfic from a lit nerd.

AV, you say, that sounds amazing, but probably not good.

And you are damn fucking right.

So okay as an example of how this works, here is HP Lovecraft:

He turns into a tentacle monster.

And here is John Steinbeck:

He grows vines out of his body.

And here is F. Scott Fitzgerald:

His super power is being rich.

Simple, right? Take some dead dudes whose work you had to read in highschool, make them a pretty anime boy, give them a stupid power. Flawless.

I started with people my followers are more likely to have heard of but the primary characters are all inspired by Japanese authors, which to me actually made it much more interesting because it allowed me to enjoy them as characters first and foremost, and once I was at my saturation point of having too many shits to give about a manga that really doesn’t have the depth or complexity to hold all of my feelings, then I could go read the works that inspired the characters which... I will talk about on it’s own later but uh. I am enjoying it. And slightly resent being enriched by quality media when that is obviously not what I am about.

AV, you seem to be hinting that BSD isn’t qual--

NO. IT’S BAD.

I maintain a strong policy around here of admitting when we love things that aren’t good, in part because I think it’s a big weight off oen’s shoulders and mostly because I like complaining. For some people, loving bad things is a source of shame and discouragement. But I am like the dog who squeaks the toy enthusiastically and then pulls all the stuffing out.

So, should you read Bungou Stray Dogs?

Yes, absolutely, if for no reason other than so I will be a bit less alone in the world. It’s a fun romp has a lot of interesting character outlines without much substance which of course means fun making it up yourself. Look 95% of you got here via Overwatch let’s not pretend you don’t enjoy media that is basically just action figures sometimes.

Under the cut I am going to rAMBLE A BIT about whatever I feel like because this is my blog and I don’t have to organized or concise. Spoilers ahead if you care about such things. (It’s not worth caring about, the spoilers are the only reason I tried this canon out at all).

I guess I should start with Dazai Osamu, despite not actually being the main character (and the frequency he appears in the manga tapers off a lot after the first few volumes) he is by faaaar the most popular character. I honestly attribute this to the fact that the work he is (mostly) inspired by, Dazai Osamu’s No Longer Human, is an actually fantastic, super intricate and well crafted character perspective piece.

At his core he is a pretty recognizable trope: the cute prankster who is secretly really capable and smart and smiles and jokes to hide his dark past. He has a Suicide Shtick which people find (justifiably) Problematic, but the slapstick of it also mostly disappears after the early canon and you’re left with someone who very genuinely struggles to find a reason to live and treats all of his own emotions as Joke thus ensuring that no one takes him seriously and he has no actual friends in canon. Dazai does not get a character arc so much as a gradual character reveal, perhaps one day he will actually get to evolve within the current story but I kind of doubt it. Despite his popularity the canon isn’t very interested in having his current relationships pick at him or help him, and what we mostly see is a reveal of how far he has come from where he used to be, rather than engagement with who he is now to who he has the ability to become.

I do think this works okay, it’s part of the tragedy of such a character; that even when people are 100% aware he is full of shit no one is actually capable of engaging with that in direct enough way to impact him. It’s not say his relationships with the other protagonists are not important, but I think a lot about how much he has gotten himself into a life where he is around good people and doing good things yet is absolutely aloof.

Then again, writing engaging relationships isssn’t one of BSD’s strong points, so maybe his position within the protagonist team isn’t meant to be as melancholy as I take it.

Anyway, he’s garbage and he knows it and goes in the trash and I love him.

(Even if you don’t read BSD, you should read No Longer Human, which is fucking amazing)

Then there is Nakahara Chuuya.

Oh, Chuuya.

Chuuya is the character I am most invested in at the moment which is why I am writing a fanfic about him. However, his function in the manga is basically to be Dazai’s jilted ex, and BOY does he play that role to a T. I’m not going to try to tell you that he is an important character with a lot of nuanced canon cuz uh. He ain’t. But look do you like blackrom? Do you like boys who have an obvious complex history full of feelings and misunderstanding and who are fundamentally both sort of trying to do right by each other but are so goddDAMN bad at communication and understanding each other that eventually just start making petty bickering their primary dialog because it’s all they are consistently good at?

Do you like it when when two people who can’t stand each other still can effortlessly fall back on their old trust based dynamic?

Do you like it when they have like 10 inches in height difference and the short one can stomp the tall one?

Yeah you do everyone loves that shit that’s why it’s the most popular ship in the canon despite Chuuya not actually having anything going on outside of being Dazai’s bitter ex.

Oh he has cool gravity powers there’s that.

This is Kyouka!

She is the only girl who has any narrative importance, but while her introduction is sort of, so bad it sets my teeth on edge (hOW MANY PEOPLE HAS SHE KILLED? 35? YOU DON’T SAY? maybe a feW MORE TIMES FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK) she has a real great character arc and uh. Frankly probably should’ve been the protagonist? I have like, a whole rant to write about how there is no reason she can’t be and how the actual protagonist is functionally irrelevant for most of the manga but anyWAY. As it is I really enjoy her character growth and she has a lot of agency and is great. also cute AF which don’t hurt.

AV I thought you said Kyouka was the only important female cha-- YEAP but here is Yosano anyway. Because you are a good person and deserve to know Yosano exists.

She has a little more canon than Chuuya but without as much advantage of having a compelling relationship with another character. It’s unfortunate because she is gREAT but is sidelined badly. Anyway her power is that she can heal any injury but only if you’re at least halfway dead so she is always happy to help people get a bit closer to death.

Akutagawa is another character who probably should’ve been the protagonist and has a pretty good character arc. He is Dazai’s former student and is a little obsessed with earning Dazai’s attention and approval. (Dazai life is basically being a cat type surrounded by dogs who just want maybe a single pat on the head and instead getting startled and clawing them in the nose anyway--)

Akutagawa is eXTREMELY EXTRA and very edgy and he’s the best I love him. He has a coat that is a dEMON and he uses it to stab people and CUT SPACE ITSELF!!! he is also smol and frail and coughs into his hands all the time probably because he has TB. But he is ready to fight and only knows one trick and that trick is murder.

His character growth is marked and consistent without sacrificing the character he starts off as, and despite his supposed singleminded fixation on Dazai you actually see him having more actual relationships with people than you do of most of the other characters. (The implication not so much being no one else has real relationships just not a lot of characters get enough focus to see it).

Also when you are in BSD you get to learn fun things like how the real life Dazai was actually a huge fanboy of real life Akutagawa and obsessed over him a little bit, so the relationship in BSD is sort of an inversion of that.

Kunikida is Dazai’s beautiful and tight assed current partner. He is a pURE BOY IDEALIST who keeps his Ideal Life carefully written down in his notebook and is absolutely unforgiving about any attempt to deter him from basically achieving a perfect existence, right down to being exactly on time for work and meticulously keeping a list of The Ideal Romantic Partner so he can rate potential candidates. Dazai, of course, fucks with his schedule as much as possible because that’s what he deserves.

Despite his genuinely pure and good intentions, Kunikida is definitely an aggressive asshole who has no sympathy for criminals and will throw you on the ground if you fuck with his schedule.

Among BSD’s maNy unfortunate no good very bad writerly decisions is that someone allowed Asagiri to indulge in his fetish for male characters with a sherlockian genius. So even tho we can’t get more than one female character who is actually consistently plot relevant we have at last FOUR genius men who are. FOUR!!!11! Four.

That’s not counting spinoff novels and the guy who is implied to be the brains behind the entire plot of the manga.

It makes me very angry.

BUT

This is Edogawa Ranpo and he is, despite all of this, great. He is the mOST GENIUSY GENIUS, as opposed to the OTHER lower key geniuses who can only do things like basically run the mafia at age 16 adn sldia;sdcnlsds--

OKAY BUT RANPO IS GREAT. He is a 26 yo egotistical/incredibly insecure fussy birb who is haunted by how much he notices about the world that no one else does and basically needs to a constant stream of asspats but also he REALLY LOVES, ASSPATS. Somehow he manages to come off as endearing? I guess because while he is a super genius he is genuinely bad at like. basically all mundane life tasks. I don’t know why I love Ranpo but I do, he’s good.

AV, I notice you haven’t mentioned the protag--

BECAUSE HE’S BAD.

he’s just soooooo boring and takes up soooooooo much space that could go to the rest of the cast

/sighs gently

The protagonist is Atsushi. He actually has a character design I really enjoy and that is about the only positive thing I have to say about him for the first uh. 35? Chapters?

BSD’s greatest suffering as a manga was that it wanted an everyman protagonist to frame all of these more dynamic and interesting characters but due to slating him with all of the Generic Heroic Traits the result is a Typical Heroic Kid who doesn’t... ?? Really have any flaws??? but is also too naive to help anyone with THEIR flaws so?? he sort of neither impacts others nor is impacted himself in any meaningful way outside of doing the Appropriate Hero Things At The Appropriate Hero Time.

I guess you could say he like, learns people? Like him? But while he has no self worth due to being abused all of his life this also doesn’t really impact anything beyond the flavor of the shounen things he shouts while being heroic.

Hilariously, everything that is wrong with Atsushi as an MC is underscored really well by Kyouka, the more interesting character with an almost identical insecurity and motivation to Atsushi, who has her character arc at a comparative sprint compared to him, despite having far fewer appearances. Almost every scene Kyouka is in, even when they are badly written, shows her dealing with her shitty situation; sometimes this means confronting it and sometimes it means running away from it, but despite being a subtle and quiet character she is constantly aware of her immediate wants and acting in accordance with them. She is impacted by the people around her and is constantly learning and growing, at times defying or disappointing them, at other times living up to expectations.

Comparatively, Atsushi is around all the time but usually sidelined to witness other people actually seeking what they want, and then you know, at some point he turns into a tiger to defend someone else/prevent someone else from getting what they want. Ostensibly his motivation is that he wants to feel like his life has value, and it starts playing with the fact that he has an abuser whose memory haunts him that he needs to overcome. But ‘character literally always does the right thing, is loved and respected by everyone around him, and what haunts him has no negative effect outside of he says he feels bad sometimes’ issss a hard story to write and sell in a compelling manner. And I can promise you BSD isn’t clever enough to pull it off. He’s just another bland McEveryBoy, here to only have a strong opinion when it comes to doing the right thing, and uniquely gifted with a combination of unstoppable physical power and complete disregard for self that makes for dramatic fight scenes with murderers.

He’s not the worst MC ever? I like his character design, he is cute or funny at times, he’s inoffensive unless you are offended by mediocre trope laden main characters, which I am. But if I have learned anything from arguing with my roommate about media every day for two years, it is that the frequency with which you must endure a particular trope deeply impacts how tired you get of it. I am exhausted to tears of Generically Heroic Nubile Teen Anime Boys. The fact that Atsushi’s character flaws are ill defined, that his powers always manage to save him, that his purity inexplicably inspires cute girls with no self worth to love him, etc, are all just various bland frostings on a cake I have consumed so many times I don’t even want to look at it again. I do think he’s a pretty lackluster example of the trope, but hell, Chuuya is a pretty lackluster example of the jilted ex partner but I fucking love that cake and will die in it. Generically good boy MC’s? Ehn, not worth the calories.

I will say he improves a lot once he actually starts to have a character arc. I like his dynamic with Akutagawa later in the manga a lot. That’s still the ONLY time I care about him but he does have some good stuff there. Otherwise I just sort of accept dealing with him so that I can enjoy the rest of the canon.

Which you should ALSO do. Please read Bungou Stray Dogs i’m dying and in hell.

#bsd #op me #bungou stray dogs #i'm sorry about me vs rambling #i dream of making concise and well thought out arguments for things #but i can't #it's not in me #media musings #manga #anime

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