#i love this album sm i need to be s topped

[punk-o-ween]

what did green day put in the kerplunk album btw cuz this shit is ADDICTINGGG

[unluckilyimnot]

Hiii i love ur work so i wanted to request smth 🫶

Them with a s/o who is very short lol (like 5'0")

I would appreciate it if you could do this with rin, sae, yoichi and kaiser!!

Have a good day 🩷

Short s/o – rin, sae, yoichi, kaiser, hiori

m.list | rules

note: hiii thank you sm for your request <3 that’s basically my height so I know very much what it’s like

Rin

he doesn’t pay much attention at first, he’s not with you because of your height

but as time goes, he can get used to rest his head on top of yours

also pass his arm around your shoulders to bring him to him if necessary – he’s always kind of shy when your head hit his chest

loves it a lot when you sit between his legs to watch a movie because he can have you close and never worry about not seeing it well

you’ll only get confession about him liking it when it’s really late, sleep is already heavy on his eyes and he pulls you closer

you feel minuscule against his body and he’ll confess how down bad he is for you because you’re so small and cute, it pains him

never mention it tho, he’ll get sulky

Sae

acts normal about it but always hold your hand in the crowd because he’s scared to lose you

also scared to lose you in huge store so he just tag along – if you wear one particular piece that is colorful he’ll look for that instead

he once scold you because he lost you, but not before holding you close or kissing your forehead after checking you were alright

your forehead is were he kiss you the most in fact ‘cause it’s so easy access, it’s asking for it

hold you close to him when you sleep because, 1 he has to keep you warm, and 2 you’re so small he feels like he had to make sure nothing happens to you

deep down he’s down bad for it but doesn’t show it much and acts like he doesn’t care

he still put stuff on the top shelf sometimes for you to ask him for help

he got tricked a few times in fact because you just got on the furniture to get it yourself

his beige flag is that he manhandle you when you annoy him on purpose

Isagi

he’s the cutest ever I know that for sure

he’s afraid to offend you at first I think but he’s honest and tell you very quickly how cute you are, being so small

it never really stopped after that, even before you started dating he kept on telling you that you were cute

same as rin, he loooves to lay his head on top of yours

he bend to look at things with you but in a respectful, cute, head over heels for you way

holds you all the time when you’re home with him

hold him for behind, nuzzle your nose between his shoulders and he’s on his knees crying about how cute you are

fake crying about it sometimes (my gf does that)

he knows that not your whole personality but damn that’s still very cool to him to have a small s/o

Kaiser

he rest his arms on your head or shoulder to bother you all the time tbh

he’s annoying for sure but at the same time he’s probably whipped for you bc you’re so SMALL

he can grab you all the time so easily

the way you hit on his chest at best and your head rest on his arms when you’re tired and need to recharge

he loves to hold you to his chest in general

grab your chin up to kiss you or force you to go on tip toes to be able to kiss him

but also tells everyone you’re the cutest human being

he can’t help but melt if you pull his shirt or sleeve to kiss his cheeks or lips

you’ll catch him blush more than you might expected

he’s the type to tell you that you’re cute to tease you and see you blush

Hiori

he has a whole album on his phone dedicated to pictures you looks small, you know like those type of pictures for kpop idol

when you’re laying on a bed, rolled into a ball or if you’re standing a certain way and he founds you so cute

he can’t help but giggle every times and snap a picture

you’re totally aware of it the second he laugh that way and you ended up whining at him

probably the less shy after kaiser to tell you that he finds you cute

he wants to hold you close all the time I think, he’s in love with how small you feel against him

lays his head on your shoulder if he catches someone staring at you or if they’re flirting with you

but also does this to simply check what you’re looking at on your phone or read before your shoulder with you

I hope you liked it !

[ebsmind]

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝? ❀ tom blyth x fem!singer reader

summary : toms confirmed his new relationship and for that reader digs up his grave for him

warning(s) : even more heartbreak (sorry i love the angst) there’s no happy ending! (reader and tom don’t get back together)

a/n : rn as i’m writing this authors note, i still haven’t decided where im going with this but i hope its good bc i had fun writing this 2 part “series”! yall know how much i love my social media au’s 😏 can someone also give reader a hug :( i put my girl THROUGH it

ynuser so excited to let you guys know that the mv for how did it end? comes out tomorrow night!! i wrote this song with one of my closest friends 🖤

tagged : @/taylorswift

view comments

taylorswift i love you!! i remember we both sobbed after writing it and i’m so proud you decided to put it on the album! you deserve the whole universe 💫 and thank you for letting me do the backup vocals 😉

↳ ynuser it was an honor writing this song with you <3 i love you (also thank you for letting me sob on ur shoulder 😭)

user1 this song BROKE me and ik the mv will too

user2 OKAH LYRICIST

user3 give both of them a grammy right freaking now!!!!

rachelzegler this song put me into cardiac arrest

↳ ynuser 😭😭

user4 she loved tom sm i CANT

user5 i hope they get back together

↳ user6 sorry girl but i don’t think that’s happening!

sabrinacarpenter u ate this whole album up

❤️ by creator

user7 she gave us this, loml, AND the smallest man who ever lived?? this girl is ANGRY

hunterschafer screaming this song at the top of my lungs as we speak

user8 next tour is gonna be called “female rage the musical”

↳ ynuser wait can i actually do this

↳ user8 NO WAY

ynuser the tonight show with jimmy fallon!! my favorite virgo 🤍

tagged : @/jimmyfallon

view comments

user1 i love jimmy sm

↳ ynuser same

user2 WAS SOME TEA SPILLED??

↳ ynuser i cannot confirm or deny anything

user3 ur GLOWING

rachelzegler gonna watch it even though we facetimed that night and you told me everything that happened 🥰

↳ ynuser ur so real

user4 JIMMYYYYYY

user5 i hope SOMETHING was mentioned bc this breakup has been nothing but SILENT

ynuser lovin’ life ☺︎︎

view comments

user1 so glad she’s happy now :)

user2 she got her sparkle back!!

rachelzegler i wanna be u so bad

ynuser LMFAOOAOAOA

user3 so glad her and tom are good!

user4 i need her to go on tour again

user5 i miss you and taylor

❤️ by creator

user6 you slayed that performance

user7 i need to hear how did it end? live RN

tomblyth killed it!!! 🖤

❤️ by creator

[noturlesson]

Could you possibly write hcs for sal with a masc s/o that's into film and photography and take a lot of photos of him? They've always admired Sal and saw him as interesting but was too socially awkward/nervous to start a conversation ever since he moved in. The two probably only met due to Larry introducing them..

Sal x Masc!Photographer!Reader

Ngl this is gonna be a challenge since I’m used to writing fem readers, but I need to diversify my writing anyway, so here u go! I hope this was good enough lolol

How you met

You almost died when Larry introduced you to Sal for the first time

Seeing him in the halls was completely different than being face-to-face with him. He was so much prettier now that you were meeting him and it absolutely dizzying.

Of course, Larry put you on blast by telling his blue haired friend about your photography. He gushed about how good it was, and naturally, Sal wanted to see.

You nodded, awkwardly fumbling with your photo album, but finally pulling out a few pictures of some birds you took.

“These are really good, (Y/N)! You have a great talent.” Sally complimented you while examining the photos.

Your thanks came out in a stutter, and you mentally facepalmed at yourself.

“See? I told he’s rad!” Larry exclaimed, playfully slapping you on the back. It caused you to panic and drop your photo album, pictures spilling out all over the floor. Embarrassment rushed through you, but Sal was quick to help pick up the pictures. “Wait.. is this me?” He asked, holding one of the photos in his hand.

You were absolutely mortified, stumbling over your words as you scrambled to pick up the rest of the photos. “Well I just thought that you looked really good in that lighting, so I took a picture, and beauty should be captured so-“

“Do you have more?”

If you almost died before, you were definitely dead now

In a relationship

He absolutely adores the photos you take of him. He has really bad self image issues, but your pictures make him feel so beautiful, he can hardly believe that it’s him in the picture.

Asks to look at all the photos you take, compliments you profusely on all of them

Loves tagging along with you to photo shoots

You teach him how to use your camera and he falls in love with you even more

Nearly passed out when you put your hand on top of his to stabilize the camera for the shot

Has a collection of pictures you took when y’all go on dates

His absolute favorites are the ones he takes of you though. They’re not as cinematic or professional-looking as yours, but he doesn’t care, he thinks you look handsome so he’s going to cherish the photos

You hate when he takes pictures of you though. He always catches you off guard, and you don’t think your nearly as photogenic as he is.

Has at least 3 photos of you trying to eat a burger (if u don’t like burgers imagine ur fav food or smth idk)

Refuses to let you delete them off your camera because “you look too cute”

Will never tell you, but your photos boost his self esteem sm and he loves you so very much for that

Will listen to you go on and on about your dream equipment, movie/film sets you like (or hate), your favorite filters to use, etc. Just happy to see you so passionate about something you love.

So sorry that this was so late 😭😭 Homecoming week happened as I was BUSYYYYYYY but yea hope u enjoyed :D

[peteytheparrot]

Favorite songs right now? I need some to help me get through my backlog of so so much school work

I AM SO SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG I JUST KEPT FINDING SONGS I LOVE WHOOPS AHAKHSSJH I should’ve just made a playlist tbh ☠️☠️ Not necessarily my favorite songs right now more of just, music I love ☠️

Favs are near the top but I fucking LOVE all of these so that’s not completely true:

Splinter - Sneaker Pimps (this entire album is AMAZING)

Pork Soda - Glass Animals (GEHEGGRR BAKEBSKR)

Wild West Selfishness - Seahaven (this song is so GAHSGSHS)

My Favorite Color - Citizen (again, this entire album is amazing)

Achilles Come Down - Gang Of Youths (read The Song Of Achilles after listening to this.. god,, starts fucking sobbing)

Beneath the Brine - The Family Crest (GOD this song gave me chills)

Go To The Light - Murder By Death

Steal Away - Murder By Death

Antes de les Tres - Un Fantasma (this band is SO underrated)

Wolf River - Reignwolf

Son of a Gun - Reignwolf

A Wistful Waltz - Teddy Hyde (lovely band check out more of their music)

S*x With A Ghost - Teddy Hyde (censored because of bots) (this song is so silly I love it sm)

Mamas Gun - Glass Animals (THE ENDING IS SO?? AFAHGHSH)

Everything Moves -  Bronze Radio Return

Before You Snap - Yonderboi

Who Are You, Really? - Mikky Ekko

Jimmy, He Whispers - Manchester Orchestra 

Last Call - Elliot Smith

Paranoid Android - Radiohead (every Radiohead song is amazing tbh)

Climbing Up The Walls - Radiohead

Life In A Glass House - Radiohead

I Lost Something In The Hills - Sibylle Baier (Good song to fall asleep to, well for me atleast ☠️)

Shoot It Out - 10 Years

Mr. Self Destruct - Nine Inch Nails

Smile Boyo - Vundabar

Alien Blues - Vundabar

A Burning Hill - Mitski

I’m Your Man - Mitski

Duvet - boa

My Time - Bo en

And Also I’m Really Scared - Fox Academy (love this band fr)

Salem - Fox Academy

Lavender Blood - Fox Academy

Vampire Banquet - Fox Academy

Crazy - Gnarls Barkley 

My Fault - Sawyer

Butch 4 Butch - Rio Romeo

Evil Side - The Dirty Nil

Loved - FEiN

So Damn Into You - Vlad Holiday

Dear Dictator - Saint Motel

A Good Song Never Dies - Saint Motel

Dreamland - Glass Animals

Bernadette - IAMX 

Disembodied Mind - Sparkbird & Stephan Nance

Priorities - Yot Club

Amen - Amber Run

Susan Smith - Wych Elm

NEW MAGIC WAND - Tyler, The Creator

GONE, GONE / THANK YOU - Tyler, The Creator

The Chattering Lack of Common Sense - Ghost & Pals

Evil Eye - Franz Ferdinand 

Dog Problems - The Format

Between the Bars - Chris Garneue

What Else Do I Need - Vast

The Plagues - The Prince Of Egypt

Selfless - The Strokes 

Sway - Sarah Cothran

My Alcoholic Friends - The Dresden Dolls

505 - Arctic Monkeys

This Is Love - Air Traffic Controller 

Rory - Foxing

[huckleberrykai]

okay okay hear me out

so taehyun's usually depicted as this "cold exterior but sweet to specific people" kinda thing right (or at least in most other fics I've read)

buttt

soft taehyun who either

has had a bad day and honestly just needs to cuddle up with you or

wants to show you something he's been working on and the way his eyes would light up if you praise him just 🥺🥺🥺🥺

yes yes yes and yes

i feel like he'd have you as his only exception, like ofc he trusts his members and he's vulnerable with them to some extent - but with you he lets all his walls down and trusts you with his whole heart bcs he just loves u sm :((

when taehyun walks through the door and you see the grumpy look on his face as he's pulling his coat off and untying his shoes you know what he needs before he even says anything. you'd quickly make him a cup of warm hot chocolate and plop a cute heart shaped marshmallow on top.

"Y/N? i'm home." he'd announce, walking into the living room and dropping on the couch, rubbing his face with his hands tiredly. the sight of him looking so defeated broke your heart and you handed him the cup without a word. he'd look down at the cup then back up at you, big boba eyes shiny with unshed tears just feeling so so loved by his baby :((

"i'm here if you wanna talk tyunnie, but if not i don't mind. whenever you're ready &lt;;3"

he'd take a long sip then place the cup down on the coffee table, pulling you down to sit on his lap and just engulf you in the biggest warmest hug in the world, shoving his face into your neck and pressing a little kiss on your shoulder. "thank you my love."

he'd smile when you'd play with his hair, holding him close. "all i need right now is you."

uGh i love him ALSO i love when ppl talk about things they're passionate about and taehyun is no exception !! big shiny excited eyes lighting up when he plays you a snippet of a new song even tho he isn't supposed to share things before they're out

"darling come listen to this! pleaseee, it was so fun to record and i think i did really well! i wanna know what you think." of course you couldn't say no to listening to his angelic voice. he gave you one of his earbuds and put the other in his own ear, wrapping an arm around you waist and sitting you down on one of his thighs.

the song was amazing, of course, and he looked at you as if you were about to tell his future, he valued your opinion on the things he did - not in a toxic 'i need to impress you' way, but in a 'i love you so much i really want you to like the things i do' kinda way.

he had the biggest smile, baring his sharp little teeth when you told him you loved it. "your voice is so amazing baby, you did so well! i can't wait for this to come out ~ i'll listen to it every day &lt;3'

he usually wasn't affected by praise. he didn't let anything get to his head, but when his cute s/o was sat on his lap saying how much they loved his voice he couldn't help the blush that crept up his neck, and the absolutely ecstatic look on his face.

"thank you love, i'll make sure to write one just for you for the next album~"

U'VE GOT ME IN MY SOFT TYUNNIE FEELS ugh

it would be even funnier if the members spotted him getting all soft and squishy with you. he'd jump right into his cold facade like '🤨 what r u lookin at?' as if he wasn't just giggling like a schoolgirl with u swinging ur arms n holding hands djsklsk

[urethrafun1]

Intro because I need to make people aware of my interests NOW

Only DNI is people who draw trans boys with super hyperfeminine traits. I’ll block you if I find out you’re a weirdo so interact if you want and I’ll just have one less creep to worry about

My name is Scott and I am a boy a bbooooy and I kiss booooyyyyss (one boy) also my pronouns are HE/HIM ONLY

I like to draw and listen to music (shocker) + listening to & watching Chris Chan: A Comprehensive History

I LOVE RANFREN!!!! (Sorry to let you guys down..) I’ve made myself quite a few Ranfren themed things so just ask about them if you want me to show :3 (Actually, one dni. Sebastian and Randal shippers and Ivorycest shippers. Don’t think you’re safe because I like Ranfren too.)

I LOVE Christory (Liquid Chris, Alec Benson Leery/Asperchu, and Clyde Cash are my top 3 trolls [In that order]) and if you ask me about it I could yap for hours.

I LOVE SCOTT PILGRIM!!!! I’ve read all the books seen the movie and watched the show and I have figures (the minifigures too) and played the game Jesus Christ I’m a super fan

I like Cry of Fear. (stolen from my sweet boyfriend) I’ve played it 3 times but when I moved computers I lost all my data lol so now I’m on first run.

I like Postal. (Also stolen from him. He is a super fan and I love it sm hehe) I’ve played half of Postal, all of Postal 2 and Paradise Lost, about a quarter of Postal 4 so far lol.

I LOVE Splatoon+Splatbands. (Favorites are Disspair and Squid Squad. [I can’t fucking handle overfeminized Warabi with big hips and boobs sorry but…not. At all. Get off my page if you’re one of those bitches because I WILL be mean lol.]) I haven’t posted Ikkan and Warabi in a while but I’ll try to ASAP. Or I can just make a separate blog for Splatoon stuff if you guys want. I’ve played both Splat2 and Splat3’s story modes and online battles. (Including Octo expansion)

I LOVE 12RODS. (Favorite song is Red and my favorite album is Bliss) Funfact I was in top 0.005 last year.

I liVE Madoka Magica. I’ve only watched the series so far but I’m binging the movies. I have…..a self insert but that’s dumb.

I LOVE angels but I’m not gonna yap too much about that.

-You can commission me ig if you like my artstyle but I won’t charge you (examples of art below)

-Questions r always open

-Sorry for edgy posts in advance

[peachjaem00]

K-pop recap of 2023

Tagged by @ambivartence

Groups You Started Stanning?

Riize because I love sm groups and I needed to support shotaro and sungchan after they gave them the big boot out of nct lol

New Ult Biases?

Jaemin was replaced with Jeno and I feel like a cheated or something lmaooo

Idol(s) Who Got The Most Of Your Simping?

Jeno duh, wonbin from riize that man is soooo handsome is actually ridiculous

Most Streamed Group(s):

nct 127 and dream

Most Streamed Soloist(s)?

DPR Ian

Top K-Pop Song(s) Of This Year (Opinion Or Streaming, You Choose):

nct golden age album, what a fucking comeback!!!!

Top Debut This Year:

Riize!!!!!!

Choreographies You Learned:

None because I don’t dance, I have no coordination whatsoever.

Albums/Merchandise You Bought:

none, I am a broke ex-college student with no job lol

New Kpop Mutuals You Made?

Not many, I did interact with my old mutuals a lot so that was nice 💙

Tagging (no obligation ofc!!): @neoneun-au @neochan @rainyjeno @ohmytyong and whoever wants to do it

[eyehearthoshi]

˗ˏˋ groups i love ˎˊ˗

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ seventeen 💍🎟️ (ult group)

💬 hoshi is my !ultimate bias! (as the username suggests) and i love him with all my heart it’s unhealthy. my top five seventeen members are hoshi, jun, the8, jeonghan, and seungkwan BUT (i’m so serious when i say this) i adore all of the members and they all are such sweeties i know it. they make me so happy! <3

top 5 songs currently: rock with you, to you, diamond days, beautiful, highlight ♪ ༘⋆

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ stayc 🫧🎀

💬 when i think about these girlies, my heart is so happy. i bias ot6 because i genuinely adore them all equally. i love their personalities, concepts, and music so much it’s kinda crazy. they have a discography that has literally no skips for me. i just enjoy stanning them sm! <3

top 5 songs currently: so bad, slow down, beautiful monster, love, teddy bear ♪ ༘⋆

˗ˏˋ groups i like ˎˊ˗

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ dkb 💥⛽️

💬 oh these insane little idiots they’re so fun! my bias is gk and my wrecker is harry june. i love that their songs are often about romantic stuff and then they’re doing freaking backflips or something like ok!! i support it!!

top 5 songs currently: still, flower less, tell me tell me, get away, i need love ♪ ༘⋆

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ key (soloist) 🔫🛸

💬 where do i even begin??? his concepts are the best in the business like fr and i go absolutely insane to his music. he’s so sassy and i’m a little scared of him, but in the end, i’m just an infp with a stereotypical love of entjs ok…

top 5 songs currently: bad love, saturday night, burn, i can’t sleep, live without you ♪ ༘⋆

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ kihyun (soloist) ☕️🍂

💬 ah this beautiful man has no business being so talented and kind like wtf!! his youth mini album literally changed the course of my life (wish i was kidding). i can’t believe he’s gone for the next two years im gonna cry brb.

top 5 songs currently: stardust, where is this love, youth, bad liar, voyager ♪ ༘⋆

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ nct dream 🌤️🧸

💬 my attachment to the dreamies should probably be studied. renjun and jaemin are my two biases because i love them both and i’m not decisive at all. their music is fantastic and i love buying their cute shit ok?!

top 5 songs currently: best friend ever, tangerine love, never goodbye, rainbow, dive into you ♪ ༘⋆

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ stray kids 🐺🕸️

💬 my first boy group who i’ve stanned since 2021! another double bias with bang chan and i.n holding my heart. stray kids and i have a whole lot of history (as 1d once said) and they make me very happy everyday!

top 5 songs currently: back door, domino, waiting for us, s-class, cover me ♪ ༘⋆

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ xg 💋💫

💬 the newest edition to my stan list because i got into them like mid-2023? my bias is chisa and my wrecker is maya. they have such fun, chaotic energy and i love their style. their music makes me want to be more confident!

top 5 songs currently: mascara, shooting star, new dance, puppet show, tgif ♪ ༘⋆

˗ˏˋ groups i casually listen to ˎˊ˗

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ artbeat v

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ ateez

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ blackpink

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ chuu (soloist)

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ dreamcatcher

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ enhypen

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ everglow

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ (g)i-dle

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ itzy

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ ive

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ justb

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ lee chae yeon (soloist)

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ lesserafim

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ monsta x

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ nct127

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ nmixx

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ omega x

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ oneus

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ p1harmony

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ shinee

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ the boyz

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ tomorrow x together

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ twice

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ wayv

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ yena (soloist)

⋆˚✿˖° ➺ zerobaseone

[butcharyastark]

Speaking of jcs, can I have a rating of the musicals/ different versions?

HOWDY, IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

keep in mind ive only watched a handful of recordings or productions compared to other ppl but i do have Opinions on the ones ive watched. [cracks knuckles] so:

1. biased maybe because i just watched it but the 50th anniversary arena tour (circa early 2023, there have been other castings last year ik but this year's one is the one i love). i had the chance to go see it bc it was in my state this month and its the latest one i've watched but it instantly blew away all the other versions i've seen. just... the great singing of 1996 london cast and great acting of 1973 movie and creative staging like the 2018 live in concert.... it had everything and there was not a single ball dropped or a single bad or even meh actor or song or artistic decision. i am usually not one to rec ppl to go buy a ticket to an event but seeing it was the best intro to musical theater or live performances i could have ever had and AHHHHHH. sm details of this will stay in my mind forever re: jcs i can't pick one thing to deacribe bc it's Everything and i'd be here for two hours if i tried. it has my FAVORITE ending of any jcs production and idk if any other production will compare to the high intensity emotions and poetics and symbolism combined with amazing singing like this one.

2. have to go with 1996 london cast recording. i havent seen it and idk if there are even any bootleg recordings of it, but the album is The jcs album i relisten to. fucking A+++. again, maybe i'm biased bc this was my first full jcs album (as opposed to random songs), but idk if anything else but the 1973 movie studio recording album can compare purely musically to me. i love how you can HEAR the acting in the emotional singing while also not sacrificing the singing itself (looking at you 2000 movie judas), and idk i feel like it so clearly tells the story in the tone even without being able to see it, and that's fantastic. every other jcs production in terms of singing and audible acting gets compared to this one, for me. this is the one i hear in my head when i remember or mentally sing the lyrics.

3. 1973 movie. carl anderson. first official filmed jcs production. 70's outfits. meta narrative. do i need to say anything else? this was my second jcs version i consumed when i Got Into It and man im glad it was. when i first watched it, it seemed kinda just alright (probably bc im not a huge fan of movies from the 70's or 80's), but the further time goes on the more i realize this is kinda just The jcs. the classic jcs. i said 1996 london cast recording is what i compare everything else to musically, but i feel like this version is the one that every other version has to live up to. simple question: is your jcs production better than carl anderson painfully crying out "he won't listen to me!" on a mountain in the desert in a fringe outfit as jesus steps out of a tour bus, yes or no? and most of the time the answer is no.

i'm not a huge fan of older movies but the acting and music in this is top tier, the costuming is fun most of the time, the sets are neat, and the underlying metanarrative about an acting group performing jcs inuniverse for a film or smth is rlly interesting. it's the only other jcs album i have saved in my music folder besides the 1996 london cast recording. 9/10

also as a judas fan this is also the judas i compare every other judas to bc... goddamn carl anderson covers every base. desperation and anger and righteousness and tenderness and pain and bitterness and longing.... he has the range. and honestly it's got my favorite version of Superstar so far. i don't think anyone else has topped carl anderson's version yet.

4. swedish arena tour (idr the year). amazing casting, AMAZING acting, fucking incredible costumes, great singing. the only reason it's this far down this list is bc i prefer other character interpretations, but like, the appeal of bisexual vampy switch jesus who flirts with most of the apostles inbetween his main love interests of biker milf mary magdalene and legolas-in-a-mesh-shirt judas... simply cannot be understated. pretty much every artistic decision is 7 or higher out of 10. it's a very consistently good production, and a very gay one. i like the swedish translated lyrics also.

5. 2000 movie. i think everyone knows by now how bad this one is but it's so campy and jcs is inherently ridiculous as both the appeal and the concept that it loops back around to being good. it's not my fave version but it was my third jcs version and it was honestlly rlly fun to watch. what it lacks in singing, it makes up for in acting. i think Heaven On Their Minds, Everything's Alright, This Jesus Must Die, The Last Supper, and Superstar are the numbers that shine here. i think this movie is actually my favorite versions of everything's alright and this jesus must die. i really like the symbolism they try to use in this one. ik i said i genuinely think the acting makes up for the singing, but this might be higher if judas actually SANG. or if pilate was less sympathetic bc i actually hate this pilate djdjfj this version gets points for being much less antisemitic than other jcs productions with the priests, and then immediately loses them by being noticibly more racist than others in the temple. also my favorite peter is in this one. his acting in the last supper is like 25% of my enjoyment of this version.

6. 2018 live concert. full disclosure, i haven't finished this one yet, but i love it so far. i love the outfits and the staging and the energy and casting. this singing is not my favorite and i'm genuinely not sure if john legend knows how to act or if they just cast him bc he's john legend (i'll find out in the second half ig bc i also didn't like the acting of the 50th anniversary tour jesus in the first half and THEN--) but judas does a good enough version of heaven on their minds which is my main criteria for judging a jcs production in personal likes and i do Love the meta themes of casting a real superstar singer as jesus christ given the themes of the musical. i like the dynamics between judas and mary in this one. i think judas is in the closet in this one which is very sad but his outfits absolutely make up for it. it is a spectacle and a half and i'm enjoying it so far. it might get bumped up to #5 depending on how the second half goes.

7. original concept album. i know it's very weird putting the origin of the whole thing at the bottom, but that's not because it's bad, it's just not smth i'm in love with as a whole. i do need to relisten to it--actually i will do that today--but it was really good the first time i heard it, i'm just not a fan of the sound of early rock and prefer the way various versions adapt the music in progressively more modern times. objectively talented singing tho and heaven on their minds goes OFF. i may have more takes after relistening, but that's it rn.

8. i've listened to a bunch of other tidbits of assorted performances, mostly judas solos, bc as i said, i judge a jcs production by its heaven on their minds performance and i went scouring through classic and modern versions of that at one point. this is not part of the proper ranking bc i haven't listened to them in full, but i wanted to mention them here at the end. if anyone wants a list of my fave recs of that to look into:

original mexican cast (1975)

original japanese cast (1976)

mexican revival cast (1984)

original russian cast (1992)

original czech cast (1994)

jesus christ surferstar (2003)

all female jcs recording (2022)

most of these albums can be found just uploaded on youtube or even spotify which is very cool, please check them out, i had fun skipping thru them.

and uhhhh there's all the versions i've watched in full, or mostly watched, and a few of the ones i've done neither! ik this is very long (longer than i intended) but i hope this is what u were looking for and was entertaining or helpful!!

[married-2-the-music]

K-pop Discography Deep Dives: KEY

Key first debuted with SHINee in 2008, and debuted as a soloist around their 10th anniversary in 2018, with Forever Yours. Here are my credentials: As I’ve made abundantly clear on this blog, I’m a Shawol, and SHINee are my ult group. I’m a huge fan of Key, and he’s one of my favorite members. Despite that, though, I don’t know his solo discography very well, besides a handful of tracks (a couple titles and a couple b-sides), so I’m looking forward to hearing more.

Forever Yours is a pre-release for the first album, and surprisingly makes the choice to start not with Key but with Soyou, the feature for this song, whose softer, more muted tone goes so well with Key’s slightly more nasal one. The song has a pulsing beat from the outset, and though its chorus is quite simple at first, it soon blossoms into something far more fleshed out and dancy in the post-chorus. I also liked the very 80’s space movie inspired MV, and I can’t decide whether I love or hate that orange jumpsuit.

One Of These Nights is also minimalistic at its start, though it goes with a more Latin-pop acoustic guitar and handclapping before returning to synthpop. I also enjoyed Crush’s feature here, as I thought his voice works well with Key’s too, though in a different way to Soyou’s. Though I liked this one, I think that the choruses felt a little too understated to me, besides the last one. I will say, I do adore that bridge, and I could absolutely see this one growing on me.

I Wanna Be is another collab, this time with Soyeon of (G)I-DLE, which is a surprising collaboration that, as a Neverland (a (G)I-DLE fan), I’m completely in favor of. I appreciate that Soyeon’s incorporated throughout the entire song and doesn’t just appear for a verse (though of course she does have a rap) and then leave like many features, and their voices work well together. I liked this one! Normally I dislike heavily-instrumental choruses, but this one really fits the vibe of the song and its minimalistic, synthy production. It also feels more like the Key songs I’ve heard before.

From the album, I Wanna Be (a repackage of FACE), though I enjoyed the electro buildups in Chemicals, the easygoing beat of Easy To Love, the call-and-response and catchy beat of The Duty Of Love, and the chanty confidence in Show Me, my hidden gem would have to be I Will Fight. Key’s voice is as sharp as ever, but now it has a distinctly melancholy, piercing quality to it that feels deeper than his other tracks, and for good reason: it’s a song about Jonghyun, first and foremost, and the grief that comes with a loved one’s death when you’re wrapped up in your guilt. This is one of my favorite k-pop b-sides, purely because of that heartbreaking honesty. The lines “I will live my life for you, you are my red line [red string of fate] and now, without a word, goodbye” never fail to touch me.

Cold is part of SM Station’s special project, but it was still a single, so I’m featuring it here. It’s definitely a ballad, and gives a very wintery feeling, so I wasn’t surprised to find out that it was released around Valentines’ Day. This one didn’t strike me very much, though I did enjoy hearing Key’s voice in a more subdued environment. I didn’t understand the choice to have a feature here, though, as this is a song that doesn’t need a rap and feels like it suffers for it.

Hate That is a single, and marks Key’s return from military service with his longtime friend, Taeyeon. Like Cold, it’s more of a ballad than his other tracks, but unlike Cold, which felt very average, it puts more of Key’s own spin on it. Though the vocals are melancholy and the song is understated, the slight synths give it more personality, and their voices meld so well, forming what’s much more of a duet than most k-pop tracks are. It’s also very catchy!

Bad Love is both the first title that doesn’t have a featured artist and the first to truly feel like Key. It’s over-the-top, serving drama in spades, with vocal flourishes, hints of disco in its pulsing synths, and of course, clothes that are either fantastic or horrifying but I can’t decide. This was my favorite so far, without a doubt, especially the “don’t need that kind of love” hook in the post-chorus. With this, it feels like he’s truly found his sound.

There wasn’t a single song I didn’t enjoy on this EP! There’s the catchy beat and the “take my breath away, take my breath away” hook from Yellow Tape, the super-dramatic delivery in all-English Helium (which made me cackle, truth be told), the crying-on-the-dancefloor feeling of Saturday Night (let’s all take a moment to appreciate the “Hey Zachary play that song”/”Hey Stacy, give me something on the rocks”, please) and the sweet, reassuring message from Key to his 18-year-old self in Eighteen (End Of My World).

Gasoline announces itself in true Key-fashion (is that a world? Eh.) with a marching-band-esque parade of brass and then struts forward for its next few minutes with an astounding amount of confidence. It reminds me a little of (G)I-DLE’s Queencard in that, though its lyrics are nonsensical, it’s incredibly dramatic, and it takes itself way too seriously, it’s honestly a very fun time if you turn off your brain and just enjoy yourself. I wish that the brass was more of a feature in this song, as I think it adds a great sense of depth.

Killer, the second single from the album, goes full-on 80’s action movie with its glittering sound, disco-inspired beat, and Key’s electro-tinged high voice, not to mention the cars on fire and motorcycles cruising through a city at night. Its chorus shoots for the stars, rushing forward with excellent energy that has the (not unwelcome) side effect of making you want to get up and just dance. Needless to say, I liked this one.

From the album, Killer (a repackage of Gasoline), I enjoyed the gritter rock drive of Heartless, the tense beat reminiscent of Michael Jackson’s Thriller in Bound, Jeno’s feature in Villain, the very Taemin-esque delivery with Key’s great vocals in Burn, and the infectious confidence in Proud. My hidden gem was definitely the drowsy citypop ballad I Can’t Sleep, though, with its incredibly relatable lyrics on insomnia and repetitive chorus that, as of now, is still stuck in my head. Though, I think that’s my own fault for replaying it four times.

Good & Great is (at time of writing), Key’s most recent single, and though it’s set in an office, the “I’m good, I’m great, I work, get paid” has me cackling wondering how he convinced SM Entertainment it wasn't about them. The entire song is an exercise in tip-toeing very close to that line, and I couldn’t stop laughing, especially since I was working at the time. It’s not as dramatic as Bad Love or Killer, but instead stays in a more understated but still catchy synth arena. So I liked this one too. From the EP, Good & Great, I enjoyed the glitzy synths of Can’t Say Goodbye, the back-and-forth disco rush of Live Without You, and the vulnerable discussion of low self-esteem in Mirror, Mirror.

I’m glad I did this! I really shouldn’t be surprised by how much fun I had with this one since I love SHINee so much, but I was anyway. His discography is right up my alley, with its preference for synth, disco, citypop, and more personal ballads. Plus, he writes a lot of his own tracks, which I always love! I hope he has another comeback soon.

My Top 5 songs are Bad Love, I Will Fight, Eighteen, Killer, and Good & Great, with I Can’t Sleep and Easy To Love as honorable mentions. Key gets an 8.75 out of 10 from me, which is higher than I expected, but feels fitting. I didn’t really have many songs I disliked; the reason this discography is ranked here is because only a handful of tracks really drive home that emotional connection, but when they do, they really hit.

(Photo of Key with BoA)

Next time, we’ll be starting a HUGE deep dive, with some supplementals. Tschüss!

[love-your-stance]

#1 - It's been Busy Times for BTS during the last Year...Let's explore that.

Today, I began this blog to share my pride in Jimin hitting the No 1. on the Billboard top 100, competing with BTS as being the only Korean acts to do so, but this led to thoughts of Suga's pending album and tour, J-Hopes and RM's recent album releases, and the different company's the boys have recently been representing etc, AND OT7's enlistment obligations, what it's meant for them and ARMYs.

With each of the OT7 working on individual projects, it's easy to miss just how busy they've been.

The reality is, this is the frenzy before the cold spell hits ARMYs, but what a frenzy it is, and I respect thier trying to make that cold spell as short for us as possible!

It's impressive the amount of musical and visual content the BTS members have recently gifted the world since the beginning of 2022, while at the same time, helping themselves to slowly progress toward a new...singular mindset.

This is more interesting because they've not made this move because they WANT to but by necessity. I've no doubt that if they didn't need to enlist, their individual accomplishments we've recently seen would not be near as vast.

...Why?

Because BTS is comfortable being...BTS! It's their 'home' and they've never wasted an opportunity to share that belief or their love to make ARMY's proud. Understanding this important point allows us to open our minds and consider how damn hard this transition must be for them mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Before they went public announcing their hiatus, they'd have many questions to consider.

How do they keep touch with ARMYs so they don't feel BTS is leaving them behind?

How do they do what's best for BigHit/HYBE as that IS an investment for them and their contributions have been the primary income that supports the company for many years, and now a big part of that contribution will be missing. How they market that situation will be essential for their future success in the company and HYBE's bottom line.

Many things are happening in the world, how do they continue to stay grounded and in tune with those changes while they find new fuel for their music?

How do they protect their interests while they are enlisted - ensure they are not forgotten or lose momentum that they cannot regain when they return in 2025/26? and many other questions.

Meanwhile, HYBE's been working to expand their assets both locally and abroad, which is a smart move for many reasons. I'm personally disappointed things turned so negative with their intent to invest more in SM...and I understand they've decided to sell all their current SM stock.

Can you imagine what a collaboration with say - SuperM and Jimin and/or JK, or just Taemin and Jimin would look like? They’ve proven in the past that they are darn hot together...and to think - they would have then been on the same team.....!

Yea.. I'm bit disappointed about that, but I understand why HYBE didn't want to come off as the Bad Wolf when BigHit has been fighting wolves all the way to the top of their success and know it's not a nice feeling.

Also, I suspect it was tempting for BTS to enlist collectively, as they'd be able to regroup easier in 2025, but that would have meant a cold spell of more than 18 months for them AND ARMYs.

The more content they are able to bring out during that window - the more we will keep them in mind. Even if it's just from individual members. Keeping involved keeps that connection with ARMYs open.

It makes sense for the boys to separate from the group on their own terms before they enlist so they can deal with their mixed emotions before they are faced with a whole new world. (JK comes to mind here...He's not admitting it, But I think we can see he's working through a few things right now. We just need to allow him the space and support to make this journey...his way.)

I also think it was smart for Jin to enlist on his own first, allowing him to share his experience and perspective with the boys before it's their time... Each member will have a different experience of course, but still - his thoughts will be helpful to them.

So, now, the members have been fulfilling old promises to ARMYs, and completing long hanging projects, while working hard not to trip over each other's success, while still paving the road for their re-emergence in 2025/26.

Pacing those projects out is important.

Also, some might find this a strange train of thought, but this gradual progression of their enlistment will allow them to discover themselves as individuals, build on their strengths, and improve their areas of weakness at their own pace.

After thirteen years of being a team, they've leaned on one another, which was GREAT, but it's allowed them to perhaps not work as hard on areas of themselves where they could or should as someone else could carry that weight them within the team.

They also need to learn to be on someone else's team.

We can't even begin to understand how hard that must be for them. when they left their own families to be raised by a record label for thirteen years. Now they need to adapt to being part of a military family.

I suspect, if they'd had their way with no military obligations, right now they'd be happily performing as BTS and many of these personal projects they've been completing would still be sitting on shelves somewhere because their comfort zone is with each other, and they were more comfortable standing on the stage together than standing alone.

But, to an extent, wouldn't that have been a shame? Look what we've learned from this, the new sides we've seen of the boys, and all the fantastic new content they've shared with the world. My Spotify list is smothered with all their new diverse content and I'm loving how large that playlist is that focuses on their combined individual efforts.

While stepping out and shining individually has never been something they've ever expressed as a desire, I believe it will be worth it for everyone in the end as it allows them inner growth.

The uproar that went up during BTS's The Best is Yet to Come pre-release rollout when RM sadly expressed for the first time, BTS's intent to take a hiatus still makes me pause when I consider how the foreign media blew the situation out of proportion and how that temporarily affected HYBE's/BTS's bottom line.

As inadvertent as that drama was, it proved BTS's worth more than any other incident would have. The dumb thing about it, anyone considering the big picture of their future would have easily seen the necessity of that announcement without question. And I feel so sorry for RM having to take the brunt of the hit of that announcement.

No one would want the task of telling the news to millions of fans, but being the leader, the responsibility fell on RM's shoulders. We learned that day just how much he loves his BTS family when we saw his tears.

I think this is the only time I've seen them all so deeply somber and unsure how to deal with the situation. They knew this was going to be chaotic and were heading toward unfamiliar territory.

So many people misinterpreted their pain, not realizing it was there because this wasn't a proactive decision, but one of necessity and the beginning of the change of an era of how we've grown to appreciate BTS, and the beginning of uncertainties as they decided how best to keep things together while they sorted out how to individually move forward with the intention of coming back together in the distant future.

We may have all been in denial, but deep inside, we knew they had obligations they'd soon need to fulfill - and would.

RM's announcement shouldn't have surprised anyone and only those who clearly didn't follow BTS would believe 'hiatus' meant disbanding for them. They've always said exactly what they meant.

ARMYs should also have been able to read between the lines regarding how important their enlistment obligations were for them.

Three trips to the United Nations, and an invite to the White House clearly sends that point home. The members of BTS have always proven to be individuals who stand up for what they believe, and who step up to fulfill their obligations.

They LOVE their country and represent it with pride.

in spite of their government having mixed feelings whether they should keep BTS out of the military to continue to create huge revenue for the country or allow them to serve, they've consistently stated their intent to fulfill their military obligations. So, the whole drama had to be exceptionally painful for the boys.

Particularly since they received both support and criticism from either end of the spectrum and were reluctantly made an example of not only because of their country's indecisiveness, but also were put under the microscope of the world as their country instigated a major decision which appeared to be just for them.

Something perhaps, they'd not want to be remembered for by other Koreans, their fan base, or for themselves to look back on in their older years, but here too they were without choice, as they made history when the ...BTS Act (not the exact wording on that) was created just to delay their enlistment by two years and gain more revenue for the country before they enlisted.

It's no wonder after more than a year from when the controversy started, BTS became silently impatient until they stopped waiting for their government to decide what it wanted, and just began the process of enlisting.

Now they've officially set the wheels in motion, they've some big challenges to address and goals to complete...

I'm interested to see what the following months will reveal of our Bangtan boys before they all fade temporarily into the shadows.

All of that being said, I've decided to make some individual posts focusing on each of the members, discussing what they've been up thus far, since the beginning of 2022.

Originally, I'd considered this post to be just one blog with some brief points for each of them with a few pics of their recent accomplishments, but it soon became apparent, I had a hell of a lot more on my mind than I thought, and one blog wasn't going to satisfy me, so I hope you check those posts out as you see them!

Feel free to disagree with my opinions if you like, but if you respond...please be nice about it.

Thanks!

- St@nce

[natewriteslol]

Hi! I would like to request dorm leaders with a kind and cute lover who happens to sing death metal when they are angry or stressed. (U can use aggretsuko as a reference if u know what that is) please use they/them pronouns! Thank you for ur time :)

A/N: I love aggretsuko sm!! I'm very busy but need to sit myself down and finish it asldfas

I sort of changed it to a karoke night scenario if you don’t mind! If you want me to rewrite it then pls dm me or send an ask <3

Y/N is gender neutral

Warnings: none

Characters: Riddle Rosehearts, Leona Kingscholar, Vil Schoenheit, Azul Ashengrotto, Kalim Al-Asim, Malleus Draconia

Riddle:

-You were always so kind and patient with him

-Always considerate of him, and that’s what drew him to you

-Riddle was smitten with your soft, caring nature and- where is that music coming from?!

-It is past 8pm and there should be no loud music playing, and of course its coming from Ace and Deuce’s room

- “What did I tell you about making so much noise this late at night-Y/N?!”

-There you were, screaming death metal at the top of your lungs with the whole Heartslabyul squad hyping you up

-Was this the same sweet and soft-spoken person he was dating? 

-You know what, everyone is up, you’re having fun, it’s a Friday...

-Riddle sits himself down and listens to you sing/screech? your heart out

-It was obviously something you were very passoinate about

-I guess he’ll set the rules aside just this once, and don’t think he’s going soft you know! But he can have fun too... especially with you on the center stage

Leona:

-He always hated karaoke night with a seething passion

-Such distasteful noise when he could be taking a nap

-But you seemed interested, so I guess he had to go 

-It was a big crowd of Savannaclaw students, everyone going rowdy over Leona’s little s/o on the stage

-Leona wasn’t too interested, as he was half asleep since everyone was a little bit more quiet

-I’m sure you’d pick a sweet little song that would put him to sleep for a couple of minutes-

-Now you had the entire crowd hyped up with this blaring music, instantly waking up Leona

-He went up towards the front of the crowd with Jack and Ruggie to watch you in action 

-After you finished, with people begging for on oncore as you stepped off stage Leona went to talk to you

- “You sure are different...but you aren’t half bad, herbivore,” Leona said with a smile

Vil:

-Vil always used karoke night to show off his singing voice 

-You had such grace despite your sorta clumsy and shy demeanor

-Vil was absolutely smitten and thought you were so adorable 

-So he was super excited to see you step up to the stage with the mic in your hand

-Only to hear you start screaming your heart out

-The whole Pomefiore dorm was silent except for Epel cheering you on throughout the whole thing

-Once you finished your performance, Rook had piped up

-"Such a kind and gentle soul, yet when repressed they lt out the cries of a great warrior...so much meaning! Such beaute!"

-Was, caught off guard, but he knew how passionate you were about it so he supports you full on :]

-Inspires his next album to go for a more rock feel

-"A little edginess would never hurt, right my potato?"

-Fans should thank you for bringing back gothic/vampiric Vil

-Whew I'm getting flashbacks to vampire Vil jdjfjjfj pls Vil gimme a chance

Azul:

-Azul wanted to invest in a karoke machine for the Monstro Lounge

-He had calculated the amount of profits one would recieve from having a karoke event on Fridays, and the payment was handsome 

-So once Floyd, Jade and you were finished working you were to be the first testers of the machine

-Floyd went first, putting on the most cheesiest love song from the 80′s and started hollering into the mic 

-You swore you could see a tear falling from his eye

-Jade passed on singing, bringing the mic to you

-Azul was sitting on the stage as well, and while Floyd belting wasn’t the most...pleasant noise, it was nice to have moments to see everyone so happy 

-And there you switched to your favorite song!

-With the angry rips of the guitar echoed through the Monstro Lounge, and it was like a switch that flipped

-Azul was shocked...you liked this type of music

-”Shrimpy, I didn’t know you liked this type of music!” Floyd said bumping his head

-Jade held a smirk, patting Azul who just looked shocked

-Was this the same person he had been dating for months, his best friend?

-But then he started to feel bad, the twins knew about your hobby before he did :(

-You explain to him that you felt a little embarrassed to tell him "I didn't know whether you were into all that hardcore rock music, so I just kept it to myself"

-But pls rest assured that he doesn't care about your music taste :)

Kalim:

-Is super excited for karaoke, he absolutely loves to sing (and hella loudly much to Jamil’s dismay)

-He’s so happy once you get up there omg

-Has stars in his eyes and is right up in the front to watch you

-And then you start screaming

-With Scarabia being the party animals that they were, they were super into it almost turning into a moshpit

-Jamil was even into it, even though he was somewhat shocked because of your usual soft demeanor 

-Kalim slowly got over it and started cheering for you

-Sure he’s not a heavy metal guy, but you just looked so cool!

- While it was a little hard to hear over the music and everyone cheering you could still hear Kalim’s “Go, Y/N!!” 

-Once you stepped off stage, Kalim went up to you, getting you some water 

- “Wow, I didn’t know you had all that in you. You’re so cool!” 

Malleus:

-Hes most definitely a more classical music type guy

-And you would always sit there and listen, so he assumed so as well

-So when it was karaoke night he was surprised that you had a song you wanted to sing

-So he sat back, his eyes trained on you with a smile

-And then you started to scream

-It reminded him of the dragons back home, and while startled he quickly grew entertained

-And while he wasn't full on moshpitting like the rest of the Diasomnia students, he was still happy

-Lilia was also super entertained, "Oh what a wonderful song! Y/N is just full of surprises."

-Sebek was not having it sjdjhffh

-"First he goes and dates a human, and now Lord Malleus is dating a screaming human. Just great."

-"I loved your performance, Child of Man. Very exciting and full of life."

-Gives you records of hard-core rock songs as gifts <3

Idia: 

-I see him as a heavy metal enjoyer (resident Babymetal Stan obvi)

-He was a little shy to share this part of his music taste with you thought

-You were just so soft, what if you thought he was weird? There was no way he could take that chance with you

-So when it was your turn to sing and you chose one of his favorite songs "Let the Blood Rain from the Sky" Idia was so excited

-You did so well! Your vocals were just as riveting as Thorn Repulsion!

-For one of the first times in his life, he didn't care about the judgement of others

-It felt like it was just him and you, for this was something you both were passionate about

-"T-that was super cool of you. It would be nice to listen to some more death metal with you, i-if you don't mind that is..."

[nctdreamcokr]

yanna’s relationship with nct pt. 2 (updated)

(this is an updated version of yanna’s relationship with her members + shotaro and sungchan, by age)

・❥・ lucas

(leaving this section clear until a proper statement about everything. this isn’t to delete him as a member nor to side with him, but i also have no idea what to write here because i’m unsure how he’s doing these days. i hope people understand.)

・❥・ mark

- yanna pinching mark’s ears unprovoked? more likely than you think.

- mark always says yanna takes good care of him and it makes him feel like he isn’t the oldest in dream sometimes.

- both admitted that they enjoy sharing verses and rapping back and forth with each other since their flow matches. and they know nctzens die everytime.

- recent fan favorite moment: beatbox starts off with mark and he basically turns over the first verse to yanna, during performances they would do it in different and random ways like yanna tapping him on the shoulder for him to turn so she could start off the song.

・❥・ xiaojun

- they’re closer but still not as much. they can sit beside each other now and talk casually, but they barely hang out.

- yanna’s incredibly impressed with xiaojun’s voice, and she’s vocal about it.

- kun said that the only reason yanna and xiaojun started trying to be friends is because they were scared the members would put them on awsaz. both denied it, of course.

- recent fan favorite moment: xiaojun mentioned in a recent live that yanna once kicked his knee and it hurt a lot. after a few minutes, she called his phone while the live was going on, basically yelling “i already said sorry!”

・❥・ hendery

- hendery’s the only person who leaves yanna perplexed.

- road to besties, to be honest. yanna finds hendery way too funny to not be bestie material.

- “henny and yanny”.

- recent fan favorite moment: there’s a selfie yanna posted on bubble, holding a piece of hendery’s hair as a mustache during his haircut.

・❥・ renjun

- literally her boyfriend. staying strong. not even sm can ruin their relationship. need i say more?

- group promotions are funny for fans because they almost get zero crumbs. they literally never sit next to each other. the most people get are subtle protective movements from renjun.

- but truly, weibo is where they mostly are. renjun posts pictures of yanna while the girl would always post short vlogs whenever they go out.

- recent fan favorite moment: during beatbox’s jacket behind the scene shoot, the two were paired up. yanna resisted eye contact the whole time, not wanting to look unprofessional. when it ended, renjun moved his face towards her and smiled while making eye contact. the staffs squealed at the interaction and yanna could only push him lightly.

・❥・ jeno

- bff #1. their handshake is through head bumps.

- yanna dropped honorifics for him in private and he didn’t mind. he calls her “ae cha” in return.

- jeno’s 65% done with yanna’s ass.(/j) he literally goes “we’ve been friends for way too long” on a daily basis.

- recent fan favorite moment: yanna’s drawer has various pictures on top of it, framed. one of those is a picture of predebut jeno and her eating ice cream together.

・❥・ haechan

- they’re over the enemies era, hyuck is now yanna’s baby.

- equally clingy. like, they’re usually the ones seated next to each other and yanna always has her hand under hyuck’s chin.

- they always speak softly to each other and give compliments, unless they’re in a goofy mood.

- recent fan favorite moment: as part of “yanna reacts”, which was changed to “ae cha’s corner” last 2021, the girl filmed a reaction to nct 2021’s universe album. in the middle of it, haechan entered the room and she invited him to join her. the whole video, her arm was around haechan’s neck and her chin was on his shoulder as she complimented everyone and would get excited for haechan during his parts.

・❥・ jaemin

- bff #2. help jaemin because as much as he loves how close they are again, yanna shares so much random stuff to him that he just ends up face palming.

- literally whispers and laughs about random shit, even high fives about it. jeno would have to walk over from somewhere to understand why his bestfriends are laughing.

- it really took them a while to become as close again, but they’ve always had a nice friendship. it’s just obvious how comfortable they’ve become to each other this year once again.

- recent fan favorite moment: during a recent group ig live, yanna accidentally shook her phone— making her realize her phone case makes sounds because of the liquid inside. she then paused and whispered to jaemin about it, making the man go “you’ve had that for 4 months, you’re just finding out now?” a little loudly. yanna then went “아가리 닥쳐”, to which her and jaemin both laughed at secretly while the other members were left confused.

・❥・ yangyang

- yangyang knows the passcode to yanna’s apartment unit. because he likes playing with her dog, neoran. not because of her and she has a “huge grudge” regarding this.

- yanna helps him out in his korean a lot, wanting him to write more korean lyrics for their nct releases.

- but she can’t even deal with the man’s cheesiness. specially towards renjun.

- recent fan favorite moment: on nct’s field day, there was a clip of yanna chasing yangyang around the area when the members started eating. no explanation given up to this day, because when yangyang was asked about it he just said “which one?” and ten followed with “they’re always fighting, and tell on each other to me.”

・❥・ shotaro

- literally her only possible reaction when facing shotaro is smiling, she can’t even help it.

- “shotaro-kun!”

- literally protects him from anything.

- recent fan favorite moment: during the behind the scene of the universe mv, he couldn’t stop saying how cool yanna’s hair looked and she could only mumble small “stop it”s.

・❥・ sungchan

- about to be bff #4, to be honest. same wavelength.

- he’s so tall and that angers yanna. because she’s older by months.

- sungchan admits he’s closest to yanna these days because the girl reaches out a lot and they have so many great conversations.

- recent fan favorite moment: during a fansign, yanna was asked who her favorite rapper was inside nct excluding taeyong and mark. she immediately said “sungchan.” she explained how his tone was incredible and he knows what attitude to have when he’s doing his lines. while sungchan also mentioned that yanna’s one of his favorite all-round performers. besties, fr.

[they-dont-get-my-back]

I posted 2,764 times in 2022

301 posts created (11%)

2,463 posts reblogged (89%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@neocatharsis

@daily-bubu

@dive-in-the-blue

@haechantaeil

@techtechonmymind

I tagged 2,612 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#taeilie - 389 posts

#nct 127 - 299 posts

#bubu - 241 posts

#nct dream - 207 posts

#nct - 180 posts

#markie - 170 posts

#full sun - 161 posts

#breadhyun - 144 posts

#:d:d:d - 129 posts

#even doyoung - 121 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#yes hide the visuals we don't care about the visuals this is a feels song this is a song song and we should hear it first and see it second

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

If Taeil had zero fans Haechan would be the worm that'd still love him.

12 notes - Posted September 14, 2022

#4

Being sick as an adult SUCKS because you don't get to miss school, you miss work and that only makes you more stressed. You don't get to lie around because now that you're home you can finally catch up with all the chores that you've been putting off because of work. Noone brings you hot soup and sliced fruit and tea with honey, you have to make those yourself. You can't spend your day playing on a playstaion because you don't have any.

12 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

#3

Taeil in his recent birthday live: "I'm not planning to lose any weight." Me: "Yes, king, stay healthy." Taeil in his quarantine video: "I have to check the calories first." Me: "Oh no, king, what do you mean? Taeil: "The food with more calories is more delicious, so I want to eat that." Me: *weeping*

15 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

#2

No. If it means that Taeyong will overwork himself and hurt his body, I do not want to anticipate anything.

Nobody, and I mean not a single person in this entire Earth, has the right to demand more from this man. He just keeps on giving and giving, he's already given us his youth, his health, his character. Instead of caring of himself, he has to take care of "the fans", constantly worried what we would think about him, constantly thinking about whether what he's doing is good enough.

My heart is breaking, hurting. Because of a man that I've never met and never spoken to. Unlike me though, he can't just walk away and let it go. He has to keep on giving, becase the people surrounding him are ever hungry beasts that just need to consume and consume and consume until they devour him whole.

If NCT would fall apart right at this day and we would never get a new album ever again, I'd be happy, I'd be ecstatic. Because it would mean that Taeyong is somewhere out there, lying in bed, listening to his favourite Ghibli soundtrack playlist, eating chocolate and just looking out of the window, thinking "Wow. I can finally take a breather."

(the whole thread with the translations x)

18 notes - Posted July 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

SM staff: "Sir!!! The NCity is in shambles!!! It's chaos!!! Everybody's rioting! I don't think we can make it!" LSM, looking out of the window on the 159th floor of the Kwangya building: "Release it." Staff: "S-sir?!" LSM, clenching his fist: "Release it."

260 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[qianinterprises]

WayV Reaction: finding out their S/O has Borderline Personality Disorder

Pairing(s): WayV x Reader Genre: angst, fluff Warnings: mention of mental health, depression, anxiety, symptom's included in BPD. Trigger Warnings: depression, anxiety, hostility, mention's of self-harm, self-doubt, low self-image Word Count: 3.9k

Author's Notes: I'll be honest and say that I had to research Borderline Personality Disorder. I knew what it was/had heard of it before, but in order to write something accurate, I tried to educate myself. If you believe that you have BPD, please don't be afraid to go to a doctor or a trusted friend/family member. Your mental health is important.

Author's Note 2.0: I also want to mention that (as per earlier request), I am also working on a YangYang fic that features a reader with Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm not entirely sure when it will be posted (soon hopefully), but it is in my WIP's.

Author's Note 2.0: Kun's is a little different, I apologize for the difference and the shortness. Tagging:@treasuretaeil

Kun:

Kun was in the middle of dance practice when his phone began to ring. At first, he let it go to voicemail, but by the third ring, Ten paused the music and Kun grabbed his phone out of his coat pocket, expecting to see your name popping up on the screen. You were at home today after a particularly rough week at work that had left you feeling spent. Kun longed to be home with you, holding you tight in his embrace. As his eyes met your next door neighbor's name on his phone screen, his stomach dropped. Mrs. Huang only called when it was really serious. "Hello?" he asked into the receiver. "Oh thank goodness!" she cried, voice laced with anxiety enducing agitation. "What's wrong?" "It's (y/n)! They've brought me five big tins of muffins! I can't possibly eat all of these! And they've gone to the store twice with ingredients! I think something's wrong! Kun sighed. This morning, you had been so happy. You were practically singing to the birds. He knew it wouldn't last though, especially with the week you'd had. "I'll be there soon!" Kun left practice without another word and when he got home, he found you in the kitchen, covered in flour, vigorously mixing a creamy liquid in one of your metal mixing bowls. The kitchen was covered in ingredients; flour puffed on the counters and floor, broken egg shells on the table, a half empty measuring cup of milk teetering on top of the fridge. It was bad this time. Kun knew you had borderline personality disorder. It had been something you'd told him in the beginnings of your relationship. He had seen you at your worst, and at your best, but it still broke his heart every time he witnessed you at a breaking point. "(y/n)?" You paused in your vigorous mixing, eyes glancing up to meet his. He didn't say anything, eyes locked on yours, but his eyes held no pity. Instead, they held pure, unfiltered love that had you putting the whisk aside. "Do you love me?" you whispered. A small wisp of a smile reflected across his face as he crossed the room, arms wrapping around your body. "More than anything," he whispered.

Ten:

You and Ten had only been together for a short amount of time; three months to be exact. It was an exhilarating three months. Time you wouldn't give for anything in the world, even though you didn't get to see each other often with Ten's very busy schedule. However, after the "Kick Back" album released, WayV was allowed to take a break as SM turned their attention to the scheduled release of NCT Dream's first album. Normally, Ten would then be whisked away for some SuperM promotion, but with Baekhyun's enlistment, SuperM was also allowed to take a break as the company decided what to do. Which ultimately meant you got to spend more time with your boyfriend, which, most would deem as a good thing and, you were happy he was there, however, it became a lot harder to hide your little secret from him. Your best friend, Kun, had introduced you to Ten (and the rest of the members), when Kun officially became a member of NCT. Kun and Ten had immediately hit it off as friends, which meant you also spent a lot of time with Ten, thus leading to a blossoming friendship and later attraction. So Ten lying in your bed snoring softly wasn't that far of a stretch from a common day encounter. The difference was, today, you didn't feel like yourself. Being in a friendship with Ten meant that, yes, you saw him often, but not often enough that you couldn't keep parts of yourself private. Which is exactly what you did, especially as your tiny crush on Ten grew into something mutual, eventually leading to a relationship. The truth you were so afraid of revealing was your disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder. A disorder you'd been diagnosed with since you were a your teenager. You'd been teased and bullied for it when a classmate you'd once called a friend announced your disorder to the entire school. This, in turn, had terrified you of ever telling anyone, which you had gotten away with. Ten didn't know and, if you had it your way, he'd never know. He was an idol. What did he need with a girlfriend with this disorder. However, with him hanging around a lot... "Hey? What's wrong?" Ten's voice snapped you from your thoughts. You'd been so distracted you hadn't realized his soft snoring had ceased. "Nothing," you said softly. His lips pursed, perplexed as he softly reached a hand up to brush across your cheek, something he'd done several times. But today, you didn't want it. You shied away from his hand, curling yourself up on the opposite side of the bed, cursing yourself for acting different than usual, but you couldn't help it. Ten didn't bat an eye. He simply gave you a soft smile and sat up in the large bed, but he didn't try to touch you again. "Feeling sad today?" he asked. You nodded meekly. "Would you like to talk about it?" he asked. You paused for a moment to think it over. You truly didn't. You wished you could keep it a secret forever, because Ten might leave you. But you also knew that the stress was taking it's toll on you. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder..." you whispered. He didn't say anything at first and you were preparing yourself for him to call you a freak and leave. Instead, he stretched his arm out and softly wrapped his pinky around yours. "I don't know much about it. But I promise I will learn," he whispered. Tears brimmed your eyes because finally, someone wasn't going to leave you.

WinWin:

You had never been much of a touchy person. Holding hands was one thing, and even then, something you weren't wholly comfortable with, but hugging was completely different. You didn't care much for hugs, especially from complete strangers that often found you rude for rejecting their hug. You barely even hugged your own family, let alone a total stranger. This was possibly what spurred on your relationship with Sicheng who, also didn't care much for physical affection, despite the fact the other members of NCT practically drowned him in it. Your relationship was just... different. At least in the minds of society because you didn't cuddle against Sicheng's chest constantly or plop down on his lap just because he was sitting down. Instead, you preferred wrapping your pinky around his or draping one of his sweaters over your shoulders. This worked for the two of you though others found it strange. However, there was an anomaly that Sicheng, though you had been together for a little over two years, had no idea about. This anomaly included the fact that sometimes, you liked hugs. Sometimes, all you wanted to do was drape yourself over your boyfriends lap and let him hold you until your mind screamed at you for the overload of affection. Sometimes you wanted him to wrap his arms around you in bed and fall asleep with you on his chest. That's what happens when you have Borderline Personality Disorder, and it wouldn't have been that big of a deal if Sicheng had known, but he didn't. It started out you longing to keep it a secret in the early days of your relationship. It wasn't something you advertised very often. However, as your relationship progressed, you knew you should have told him, but as five months turned into six, it became a crushing weight of guilt for not telling him in the beginning. Sicheng had already invested a lot of time and love in the relationship when you had not been wholly honest with him. And the more time that passed, the harder it was for you to get the words out. At this point, it wasn't even your fear of rejection because of the disorder, it was a nagging fear that your dishonesty about the disorder would drive him away from you. That would truly be a crushing point. However, as Sicheng began spending more nights at your apartment, it was getting increasingly harder to hide, especially as your mood dropped or when you suddenly began to crave affection. Times like today. The moment you'd rolled out of bed, you knew you needed some type of affection, but as Sicheng made no advance to give it to you throughout the day, your mood dropped. It really wasn't his fault. He had no idea how you were feeling, but as you finally had had enough and wrapped your arms around him from behind while he was washing the dishes after dinner, you felt him stiffen before grabbing a towel to dry his hands. "What's up with you today?" The question was an honest one, but it still felt as though you were making him uncomfortable by touching him. As your arms slacked from around him, a tear sprang to your eye but you were quick to wipe it away as he turned to face you. "I need to tell you something..." Your voice was wavering. You had no idea how he would respond. He nodded for you to continue, one of his hands gently taking hold of yours, playing with your fingers as a soft sense of relief washed through you. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder." His once blank face morphed into one of confusion. "What's that?" he asked tentatively. You sighed. You had been expecting the question but that didn't make it any easier to define. "Its like having mood swings. One day I feel happy the other sad... Sometimes anti-hugs, sometimes super affectionate." You could tell he was still confused, but as he nodded and wrapped his arms around your body, drawing you against his tall frame, you let out a shuddered breath, body relaxing against him.

Lucas:

Books were never Yukhei's strong suit. He preferred numbers and basic information plotted out clearly in front of him. Books were too all over the place with too much information. He wished they could be like websites that gave him the briefest of explanations with a "read more" feature. Yet here he was, flipping through slightly crinkled pages because he wanted to truly understand, and books were always credited with having the most information. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder," you had explained earlier that day when you had ducked out of the way of one of his mega bear hugs and proceeded to slump your shoulders and beg him to give you time alone. You'd locked yourself in your shared bedroom after that and, although you had texted him to apologize for your behavior, you added that today was just an off day, your disorder really affecting your mood. "Well how can I help?" he had asked. It was your response that prompted him here, pouring over books in the local library hoping to find anything that would help him understand Borderline Personality Disorder in the best way possible. As he flipped through pages and learned, he had begun to feel several different emotions. On one end, he felt sorry that you'd had to go through the disorder alone, but on the other, he questioned why you'd never told him, even after a year of being together. However, a big part of him wondered if maybe you had been telling him, just without words, especially because you'd never tried to hide any of your mood swings. He'd just always assumed you were on your period. As the hours ticked away, Yukhei's eyes remained glued to the startlingly dry books stacked up around him, but as he learned more about the disorder and, by default, more about you, he couldn't seem to stop. At least not until his phone vibrated in his pocket and, as he fished it out, your smiling face met his eyes. He answered the facetime request and gave you a tired smile that quickly morphed into concern when he noticed your bloodshot eyes. "Baby? What's wrong? Did something happen?" "My boyfriend left me! That's what happened!" Were you... pouting? "I didn't leave baby, I'm at the library." Confusion flashed across your face. "Why?" "To learn more about Borderline Personality Disorder." A giggle erupted from your lips and Yukhei sure was glad to hear it, especially after reading texts about BPD leading to depression. "Why didn't you just google it?" His mouth gaped open as he dramatically clutched his chest. "Googling something so important in my significant other's life?! That's scandalous! I should do enough research to write my own 20-page essay!" This time, it was a full blown laugh. "You're a dork!" "I'm your dork!" "Well come home, dork! There's a lot we have to discuss!" Your smiling face alleviated any fears that may have been swirling around Yukhei's chest. With a nod, he slammed a book shut so hard it send a loud, slamming bang throughout the library, prompting nasty looks sent his way. Sheepishly, he waved them off and stood up. "I'll be home soon," he promised, blowing you a kiss before hanging up. Yukhei had taken the hastily thrown news a lot better than you'd expected. You knew he couldn't have learned everything, specifically because it varied person to person, but you knew that he would be there for you, even on your bad days. And that was all you could ask for.

Xiaojun:

Dejun was incredibly perceptive, even if he was incredibly dumb sometimes. He could tell when you weren't quite feeling yourself, even though he often didn't know what was causing it. It was at those times that he did everything he could to put a smile back on your face and make you feel "normal" again. He didn't understand how counter productive that actually was. It was really your fault. You were the one keeping secrets, but as the smile fell from your face the second Dejun traded the couch for the shower, you couldn't help but think that maybe he simply preferred you to be happy rather than deal with you when you weren't. Somewhere in the back of your head, you knew he was just doing what he thought would help, but now, especially in your state of mind, you couldn't shake the aching feeling in your head. "Hey, are there towels- are you crying?" Dejun's voice yanked you out of your thoughts and you brought your hands to your cheeks, rapidly trying to wipe away the clear droplets painting your face, but it was too late. Dejun had already seen. He was shirtless when he perched on the couch beside you, face etched in concern. He opened his mouth, likely to retort off some lame dad joke or tell you some funny story you'd heard a thousand times. "Can you not?" You hadn't meant to snap. The words had simply flown out before you'd had the chance to them. His face fell into a pout that you knew you often fell for, but today, it only upset you more. "Stop Dejun!" The pout fell away. "Stop what? I'm not doing anything!" "You're trying to make me smile!" He blinked, staring at you for a moment. "That's a bad thing?!" You sighed, slumping against the couch cushions, resigning yourself to the fact that he didn't understand. Then again, you didn't let him understand. "Just tell me why I'm upsetting you," he begged, all traces of bad humor gone, replaced with sincerity. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder! My mood fluctuates! And when you try to make me smile when I'm sad or mad makes me feel like you don't like me when I'm not always happy. But I can't always be happy." He stared at you in shock for a moment, mouth opening and closing as if he didn't know how to respond. An appropriate response, you supposed. You'd been friends for a while now and dating for several months, yet this was the first time you'd told him. You were about to get up from the couch, sighing as he didn't respond after several minutes, when he placed a hand on your thigh to stop you. "Why didn't you tell me?" You shrugged. It wasn't that simple. "Can you tell me the best ways to comfort you?" Again, you shrugged. A sigh released from his mouth and your head hung low. "I'm going to do some research. As your boyfriend, I want to make sure I'm making you feel better, not worse. So, while I'm doing that, I also need you to tell me if something I'm doing is making you feel worse. Can you do that for me?" His words were sincere, his intentions true. Another tear fell from your eye, dropping against your cheek, but a smile broke out across your face. "Thank you for caring," you whispered. He pulled you onto his lap and pressed a soft kiss to the nape of your neck. "Always."

Hendery:

Waking up this morning had been such a struggle, even as the delightful scent of your boyfriends cooking wafted under the cracks of the door, greeting you. Usually, this would rouse you from your slumber, prompting you to creep into the kitchen and sneak a taste of the delightful breakfast. Today, however, you rolled over in the blankets and pulled the duvet over your head. Today was a lay in bed day, you just hoped your boyfriend would accept that. "Come on sleepy head! It's time to wake up!" Kunhang's annoyingly chipper voice spouted, pulling you from the confines of sleep in a less pleasant way. "No," you groaned, rolling over, burying your face deeper into the pillow. "Come on! Breakfast is ready!" He pulled the blankets off your body and you let out a loud hiss, eyes turning to bore into him. "I said no!" He dropped the blanket and backed off, lifting his hands in surrender, but you could tell he had questions. You never acted like this. "What's wrong?" You grunted, not responding, turning away from him, but he wasn't having it. "Yah! I asked you a question!" he pouted at being ignored. A growl whipped it's way from your throat. "Go look up BPD," you snapped. You could tell that he had more questions, but, after a long moment, he seemed to think better of asking them and, instead, made his way out of the room, leaving you to fall back asleep. It had to have been a few hours later when you were waking up on your own this time, the anger you had felt earlier completely gone now, replaced with your normal, chipper self. You turned over to look at Kunhang's side, releasing he wasn't there and the memories came flooding back to you along with a strong wave of guilt. You shouldn't have treated Kunhang the way you did. There was nothing out of the ordinary with the way he'd reacted to your sleeping for. With a sigh, you threw your legs over the side of the bed and stood up, padding over the floors to the door. You made your way out of the bedroom and down the hall, finding Kunhang sitting on the couch, television with the volume turned down, playing some movie he didn't look too interested in. As the floor creaked slightly under your feet, his attention shifted from the television to you and he was quick to shut off the device. "How are you feeling?" he asked. Your heart dropped into your stomach. Had you really affected him? "I'm sorry for how I reacted..." you mumbled. A sigh rolled past his lips as he patted the couch next to him. You made your way to him, flopping beside him, but keeping your distance, at least until he pulled you against his side. "I understand why you did after looking up Borderinel Personality Disorder," he said. "But you couldn't have expected me to know without knowing." With a nod, you hung your head. "Why didn't you tell me?" "I thought you wouldn't like me if you knew I had a disorder..." you mumbled. Saying it out loud, it felt ridiculous. You knew he loved you. The fact that he waited for you to wake up even after how you'd treated him proved that. But it had been a fear nevertheless. "Now that I know, I can help you rather than making things worse. But in the future, please let me know. I hated watching you so upset without knowing how to help." You leaned against him, burying your face in his chest as you nodded.

YangYang:

(full fic coming soon) YangYang's youth was what truly scared you the most. He still had so much to learn. He was so naive, about some things at least. He could make you feel so good, so loved, when he'd hold you in his arms and kiss your head or when he threw himself across your lap and begged to be pet. You were scared that the second he knew the truth about you, he'd leave, or worse, treat you differently. Your older brother, Kun, had advised you to just be honest with him. To let him know when you had bad days. Yet, here you were, hiding out in your brothers bed, hoping practice would run late so YangYang wouldn't see your crestfallen face. It seemed luck wasn't on your side that day, not entirely anyway, because the door to the room opened and Kun walked in half shirtless, belt unbuckled. "Please don't strip anymore," you'd begged. The boy nearly jumped out of his skin at your words. "(y/n)?! What are you doing here?!" "I missed Yang..." "So why didn't you come to practice? You know you're welcome." Your silence was his answer and he sighed, sliding on another, not sweat-soaked shirt, and sat on the bed beside you, reaching out to gently stroke your arm. "You really should tell him," he whispered. "But what if he rejects me?" "He won't. Sis, I know him. He's not like some dirtbags you've dated in the past. And he might just be able to help you better than I can," he whispered. You knew he was right. He was always right (as annoying as it was). "Will you send him here? I don't want to get out of bed..." "Of course," he said, patting your arm one more time before getting out of bed and making his way out of the room. It was a few minutes later when a sweaty YangYang walked in, searching for your figure before sitting down beside you on Kun's bed. "You wanted to see me?" he asked. "I have Borderline Personality Disorder..." The words just rushed out before you could stop them, but you were thankful. This saved you from yourself. For a long moment, YangYang didn't say anything and you were beginning to think Kun had been wrong for once. "So that's why Kun had me do all that research..." Ok, that definitely wasn't what you were expecting. "Not long after we started dating, Kun made me do all this research on BPD. He even quizzed me once a week! I just assumed it was punishment for dating his sister!" A loud laugh fell past your lips. That was absolutely something Kun would do!

"Are you mad I didn't tell you?" you asked.

"Well, why didn't you?"

"I was afraid you'd leave me like my exes..."

"Then yes, I'm mad!" he said.

Your face dropped.

"I'm sorry..."

"I'll just have to teach you a lesson!"

With that, he threw himself on top of you, pressing his sweaty clothes against you as you shrieked, attempting to get away.

"Guys... not on my bed..."