#i love these and it’s been a hot min since i’ve done one! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

youremychaos · 2 years ago

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this chapter is my favorite! hands down, my favorite. i really enjoyed every single part of it. Harrow you threw the fuck down and I love that for you!

Okay, it’s been a while since I’ve read this...but if I remember correctly didn’t Seokjin want to start a rumor that Yoongi was using again? He could have easily planted the drugs in Yoongi’s place and tipped off Namjoon, right? I would assume that Namjoon wasn’t going to bring it up but since Jungkook is the dealer it would make sense that he asks him about it.

I don’t know how I feel about mc rushing sex with Namjoon. Like, okay, I get where she’s coming from. But at the same time, she could have just given Joon head and called it a day. Whatever her feelings are, it sucks to be so back and forth about Namjoon. The fear of Yoongi finding them together rubs me the wrong way, soooo much. There is something there that needs to be unpacked and I for one cannot wait to see how that goes.

Ah, that shit timed phone call...but the way Namjoon answered makes me want to slam his head into a wall. Just come out and say that y’all are fucking without him. Why is that so hard? I understand why for the mc, but Joon? What’s going on there? What parts of Yoongi are still hidden? (a lot...a whole fucking lot) Would he be the jealous type? Would he put a gun to mc or Joon’s head? Would he demand to watch? I wonder??

Oh! Look at that. I love that my questions are always answered within the next two or three sentences after I ask it.

...So I just shouted ‘dear god’ when I read Yoongi pulling mc to the edge of the bed. I have to take a short break becauwe WHAT?! WAHT?! a-are you kidding me?! he’s gonna eat joon’s 🥴🥴🤤🤤 out of her kitty cat?! THis is tooooooo fucking real. DO you understand how HOT that is?@ i can’t even type write my mind is so fuckedcl, damnit Harrow!!!

*3 mins later*

You ain’t shit, I really want you to know that. And I mean that with the utmost love I can give...my heart is in my stomach. I will have the image of yoongi between mc’s legs playing in my mind for the rest of the night.

Namjoon saying what? P-Pretty please....I am broken. I’m not coming back from the chapter at all. I-I can’t do this, Harrow!

Okay, Okay...back to the story. So, they are going somewhere and mc isn’t supposed to be recognized? I mean wouldn’t that be hard since she’s been seen with Yoongi? That raises a red flag and I’m not sure why just yet. I’m glad to see that me and mc are on the same page.

I adore the Tony Montana reference! Very natural and smooth, made me giggle....do I deceit foreshadowing? A happy ending, you say? My dear mc clearly you don’t know what kind of story you are in.

The love hate relationship I have with Jungkook is strong...so fucking strong. I don’t know if I want to punch his smartass mouth or kiss it...maybe a lil of both. But mc got to kiss him, so I guess I’m good for now. That was a really, really hot kiss. The way they just fell into each other and just went with the flow, nice and smooth. I can dig it. Now let’s see if mc and jungkook talk about the kiss later on or not.

Harrow, my dear, you have once again out done yourself. This chapter had everything in it. Sex, humor, tenson and a hint of fear. I just love how flawlessly it all flows together.

Collateral 🗡️ 15: The end of an era

Your ex-boyfriend gets in over his head working for the local mafia, and Boss Min has come to collect his payment: You.

But was it simply a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time? Or has he always had his sights on you?

PREVIOUS | INDEX | NEXT

🗡️ Yoongi x Female Reader x Namjoon, Jungkook x Female Reader 🗡️ word count: 16.4k 🗡️ mafia au, strangers to lovers, graphic violence, minor character death, major character injury, poly, smut, angst, fluff, nsfw, explicit 21+ 🗡️ chapter warnings: mention of heroin, complicated feelings, smut (oral and vaginal sex, mmf threesome), trauma response, Yoongi wearing a Haegeum outfit, cocaine use, description of the knife game, an unexpected soft moment and kiss (!!!) 🗡️ note: mc visits Hong Kong. just as i said in the master list post about Korea, all scenery is completely made up. i don't know anything about Hong Kong and i do not wish to describe any neighborhood of Hong Kong in a negative light, so if anything sounds familiar, it is a coincidence. we also meet some of the members of Balming Tiger! and i realize that the mood board is not totally symmetrical but it was important for me to put Haegeum Yoongi in the center.

🗡️ speaking of Haegeum: thank you to everyone reaching out to scream with me about Haegeum!!! it has been a very exciting time to be a crime boss Yoongi author, and sharing the excitement with all of you has been a fucking blast!!! 😍💜 i love my readers very much! thank you all for being here!!! 🗡️ beta read by @neoneunnajimin! 🗡️ posted on april 2023 | read on ao3

As you step out of your shower, the first thing you notice is the sound of voices coming from outside your bedroom door, shouting. One of them is deep enough to be Namjoon, and the other is hard to make out. Could there be something Namjoon is upset about?

This morning, when you woke up to just Namjoon in the bed beside you, he mentioned that he and Yoongi had a surprise for you, and that you would find out in the evening. There was a tone to Namjoon's voice that you have been trying not to overthink, especially after he asked you for some privacy in the master suite, and you left him to himself with a kiss to his cheek, padding off to your cold, desolate room. He just seemed…off. Contemplative, maybe. Something seemed to be bothering him, and now that it sounds like he is out in the mezzanine shouting at someone, you begin to feel worried.

You dry off and take your time rubbing lotion over your legs and arms, curious for more sounds without trying too hard to overhear. Once you are finished and leaving the bathroom, making your way into your closet, his voice is much clearer through your bedroom door—it is definitely him.

Somewhat thoughtlessly, you begin to push back hangers of clothing, listening intently while looking for something cozy to wear, not wanting to return to the master suite for some of Yoongi's sweatpants, when you hear Namjoon shout, "Jeon Jeongguk, don't you fucking play stupid with me!"

Your hand hovers over the row of dresses dangling from hangers, and you absent-mindedly begin to dance your fingertips over white cotton, curious for Jeongguk's response, but his voice is too soft to make out. Surprising, considering you would imagine Jeongguk to be with one with an explosive temper.

With a sigh, you decide you should get dressed and investigate. Perhaps your presence will help to calm Namjoon. And anyway, you have not seen Yoongi all day, and you feel eager to go ask after him. Last night, after he got word that his informant was dead, it took some coaxing from Namjoon to get him to come to bed, and he gave Yoongi something—a pill, you think—to help him sleep. You were surprised to hear Yoongi snoring; whatever Namjoon gave him really knocked him out.

You step further into the closet and find a simple black sweater to put on, then rummage through your drawers for some underwear and black leggings. Once satisfied with how cozy you feel, you slide your feet into some plush dark grey slippers and make your way to the doorway.

"But this is much more serious, Jeongguk!" Namjoon shouts. "Everything we have worked for can fall apart if he starts using again!"

"I haven't been dealing fucking heroin," you hear Jeongguk respond, and that halts you in your tracks.

Could someone be using heroin? You think back to your days in the trafficking circle and how some of those men would get so fucked up on the junk, speaking nonsense and tripping over themselves. It was not rare to find a businessman slumped over dead in a dark corner or an alleyway; that drug will ruin someone's life. But none of the family men seem like the type, as far as you can tell. Could it be someone in their outer circle?

"Then where did it come from?" Namjoon asks.

You hate to eavesdrop, and you force yourself to keep pressing forward, toward the door. Regardless, this conversation seems pretty serious, and not something that should be had casually, on the mezzanine, where anyone in the house could hear, making you feel obligated to, at the very least, suggest the men take it somewhere else.

"We don't even know if that's what it is," you hear Jeongguk respond as you reach for the doorknob. "And anyway, I find it pretty fucking weird that you are going through his packages all of a sudden. Did he ask you to do that?"

When you open the door, both men jump. Namjoon looks like he has seen a ghost, face turning pale and widening with worry, and Jeongguk is no better.

"Fellas," you say, surprised when Namjoon only greets you with a limp lift of his hand.

"H-hey," Jeongguk responds. "How much did you hear?"

Dumbfounded, you open your mouth, and then immediately close it, shaking your head. Something tells you that you should not have heard any of that conversation, and you attempt to play coy.

"I only heard the sounds of shouting," you respond, holding believable enough eye contact and doing your best not to look scared. "I was in the shower. Just got out."

Jeongguk looks at your hair, and you hope he notices that it does, in fact, look freshly tended to. His posture is tense—hands shoved into the front pockets of black denim pants. It takes you off guard to see him in a simple black tee and jeans. After his brief inspection, Jeongguk lets out a deep exhale.

"I need to go meet Taehyung," he says, turning his gaze to Namjoon and raising his eyebrows as he adds, "this conversation is not over. We'll see you guys later."

As Jeongguk begins to walk down the stairs, Namjoon's posture relaxes. His shoulders fall, and you can see him regain his composure. This exchange with Jeongguk really seems to have ruffled his feathers.

"You alright, Joonbug?" you ask sweetly as you walk over and place your palms on his chest. Namjoon wears a black tee and black joggers, and as his musk hits your senses, you give him a soft smile and stand tall to press a kiss against his jaw.

"Yeah," he responds, offering an expression that is not a smile, but a failed attempt at raising the corners of his lips, making you chuckle.

"Why am I not at all convinced?" you tease, kissing down his neck while your palms rub over his pecs. "You seem tense."

"I am," Namjoon mutters as he grips onto your hips with both hands, giving you a gentle squeeze and kicking up butterflies in your tummy.

If there is one thing you seem to be learning from living under Yoongi's roof, it is the art of distracting someone using sex, and Namjoon seems to be eager for distraction. You begin to walk backward, toward your open bedroom door, gripping lightly to his shirt and giving him a tug. He barely shows any resistance, and this time, his smile is real.

"Why don't you let me relieve some of that tension?"

"Yeah?" Namjoon asks, smile growing before he sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and gives it a little nibble, making you wish that lip was between your teeth, instead.

"Hubby coming home soon?" you ask as you step through the threshold of your bedroom. "Should we wait?"

"Nah, he likely won't be back for a while," Namjoon grumbles, eyes losing their brightness at the mention of Yoongi. You wonder if, perhaps, Yoongi is still taking the loss of Hyunjin pretty hard. Watching a loved one grieve is never easy, and if Namjoon was also close with the guy, his emotions must be rather turbulent right now.

Rather than let you pull him all the way to the bed, Namjoon bends and lifts you from behind the knees, wrapping you around his hips as he turns and sits down on your bed. You drape your arms over his shoulders and straddle his lap, then lean in to suck and nibble on his lip—plush and perfect.

"This how you want me?" you ask as you lick over his mouth and fix him with a dark, eager stare.

"Yeah," Namjoon responds, rubbing his hands up your thighs and grabbing your ass firmly in both hands. "This is perfect."

You lift your hips and grind them down onto Namjoon's lap, watching as his pretty mouth sighs open, and he removes his hands from you to sit back anchored on his palms, giving you more range to tease him. And tease him, you do.

With every roll of your hips, you feel Namjoon's bulge harden. Each of his gasps and groans is louder and breathier than the last, and you revel in how quickly he becomes lost in pleasure—a complete change in demeanor from how he gets when he is in control.

A particularly loud moan bursts through Namjoon's mouth, and you glance over your shoulder, remembering the door was never shut. When you turn back to Namjoon, he raises an eyebrow and groans, "Forgot to close that."

You hum and say, "We did."

"I don't think I heard Gguk leave," Namjoon says, punctuated with a gasp as you grind yourself on his semi-hard cock. "Should we leave it open for him? Put on a show?"

You playfully smack Namjoon on the back of the head, but continue your movements, feeling the urge to check over your shoulder despite being certain there is nobody out there.

"Why are you like this?" you complain, but Namjoon just grins and lays flat on the bed.

Suddenly, you want to get up and close the door. You are not sure whether you would mind having Jeongguk as an audience, but you wonder if any of the other family men could come and go at some point, or if there are staff members walking through the mansion. What if you become so lost in pleasure that you do not hear them down there?

Your hips slow, then still, and you slide from Namjoon's lap, narrowly missing his hands, which make grabbing motions for you as you get onto your feet and tiptoe to the door to close it. Of course, there is no Jeongguk within eyeshot. And what is this feeling in your gut? Disappointment?

When you turn back to the bed, Namjoon is on his feet, pulling the black tee over his head and tossing it to the floor. You do the same, lifting your black sweater off and dropping it where his shirt landed, just to the left of where you stand. You both hook your thumbs into the waistbands of your pants and underwear and bend at the hips in tandem, letting the fabric drop.

Then you stand tall and step away from the garments, raking your eyes from Namjoon's face, to his tattooed chest, down to his heavy cock and back up before placing both palms on his pecs and shoving him hard enough to send him crashing back onto the bed. Namjoon gasps and chuckles, scrambling to sit up on his elbows while you drop to your knees and spread his thighs with both hands, wasting no time to grip onto his hard, leaking length and give it a tug.

"Fuck," Namjoon whispers, letting his head loll back.

"I've barely touched you," you tease, rolling the dribbled precum into your palm and stroking over the head, back and forth with a tight grip.

"Yeah, but—" Namjoon gasps, hips bucking, "—you never touch me, so everything feels amazing."

"And whose fault is that?" you ask as you sit high on your knees and lean forward to slowly huff out a warm breath over him. Namjoon lifts his head and watches you with wide eager eyes as you jut out your lip, pouting as you say, "You never let me."

Not without permission, anyway, are the words you keep to yourself. Whatever it is that bothers Yoongi and keeps him away from the mansion, you do not want to interrupt, nor consider the ramifications of. You and Namjoon can just share this moment together.

There is something in Namjoon's gaze that you cannot decipher. It does not seem sad or angry, but it does seem a bit…lost? Distant? You are unsure. And you do not wish to find out.

Without another word, you angle Namjoon's cock toward your face, delicately holding it by the tip, and you lick from base to crown nice and slow, eyes focused on Namjoon, whose expression melts as a whimper passes through his lips. As you take his tip gently into your mouth, just between your lips, Namjoon's hips tremble.

There is absolutely no way you will be able to fit his entire cock in your mouth, but you suck as far as you can, bringing him close to your throat and swallowing around him while you slowly stroke the rest of his length with each motion. Namjoon is a mess of whimpers and gasps, resting back, anchored on his elbows while he fights between watching you and letting his head roll from side to side.

How interesting, you think, that Namjoon so easily relinquishes control without so much as attempting to be in charge, even for a moment. You half expected him to be more like Yoongi is with you, touching and guiding, maybe even telling you what to do—how he likes it. But he simply lays back and takes it, and the noises he makes are unabashed and incredible.

Perhaps, if it were later in the day, with the master of the home around, you would take your time and really pull orgasm after orgasm from Namjoon, making him cum in your throat before climbing on top to slowly fuck him until you get yourself off once or twice. But today, you want to get this show on the road. You have tentative plans later—some surprise, apparently—and you are not eager for Yoongi to walk in on the two of you like this, should his mood happen to be volatile.

Once Namjoon's moans become a long, drawn-out chorus of sounds and his thighs begin to quake rather roughly below you, you slowly pull him from your mouth, letting all the pooled saliva drool down from your tongue to his tip before gathering it beneath your palm and slathering it along his length.

"Is it okay that I fuck you already?" you ask.

Namjoon chuckles, says, "Of course it's okay," and begins to sit all the way up.

"I want to ride you," you tell him, watching his pretty, flushed face become all the more excited. "Sit back against the headboard."

With a weak, dazed nod, Namjoon slides back and brings his legs to the mattress, then crawls, moves the pillows out of the way, and settles against the light brown wooden headboard, atop your yellow comforter. You stand and get up onto your hands and knees and crawl to Namjoon, taking in his spread, thick thighs, soft but muscular tummy, unfurling dragon tattoo, and breathtaking face. You cage his hips in with your hands and continue to crawl until your legs straddle him, forcing him to tilt his head back to look up at you.

"You are perfect," he mutters as his hands lift to settle on your hips, and he stares at you with such reverence, it makes you feel shy.

"Shut up," is all you can think to say in the moment, not eager to unpack the way his expression makes your heart gallop behind your ribs.

"I mean it," Namjoon continues, voice becoming softer. "I'm falling for you, baby. You know that, right?"

Disinterested in confessions of love, of all fucking things, you reach between your legs, take hold of Namjoon’s cock and rub the head against your heat, squeezing your eyes closed and sighing through your words as you groan, “I said shut up.”

“Wait,” Namjoon breathes, brows knit when you open your eyes and gaze down at him. “Let me lick your pussy first.”

“It’s fine,” you insist, eager to be full and to get this over with before Yoongi returns. Suddenly, the thought of his presence has you feeling anxious, like perhaps you should not be doing this right now.

Namjoon's head falls back against the headboard with a thunk as he mutters, "You sure?"

You nod and line him up with your hole, saying, "Yeah, I'm sure," as you sink down.

The stretch makes you suck in air and immediately huff it out, and you loll your head back as your eyes squeeze closed, rocking your hips up and then down ever so slightly. Namjoon's fingertips grip tightly to your hips, and his sweet little sounds get louder and more desperate as you slowly work his length deeper.

"So tight," he groans, and you nod your head, still facing the ceiling. "Squeezing the fucking life out of me, baby."

Namjoon is far too thick for a quick fuck. As you lift your hips, a violent tremble of pleasure rocks through you, causing you to lean with your hands against his chest to steady yourself before you think better of leaning all your weight onto him and reaching one hand after the other to grip onto the top edge of the headboard.

"God, look at you," Namjoon groans as his hands cup both your breasts, sucking and licking at one nipple after the other, hungrily switching sides as he gently squeezes and massages the soft flesh with his palms and thumbs.

The pleasure is overwhelming as you sink back down, stretching and filling yourself while Namjoon licks, sucks, and gently nips. You take a second to let out a huff of air that blends into a moan, then lift and drop your hips, trembling through each movement as you slowly adjust to the pleasure-pain and pick up a steady pace.

"Fuck, you're too big," you gasp, biting down on your lip as Namjoon moans and sucks harder in response.

Riding Namjoon is dizzying—makes you absolutely lose your mind—and you lift your hips only to slam them down with force, feeling pleasure spark and burst throughout with each rough movement. Namjoon moans and gasps against your skin, covering you in a hot flush of goosebumps and sweat.

"Touch me, Joonie," you whine, arching your back and neck with your fluttering gaze facing the ceiling. "Make me cum."

One of Namjoon's hands falls away, and he removes his mouth from your breast long enough to wet his fingers before latching back on. The pads of his spit-slick fingertips find your clit quickly and rub in tandem with the rise and fall of your hips, causing a wave of pleasure to shoot through you and make you tremble.

"F-fuck," you whine, and Namjoon moans a deep, playful sound of encouragement.

Too easy, Yoongi's voice mocks inside your head as your arousal builds and builds. You lift and slam your ass, holding onto the headboard like a lifeline as Namjoon's fingers and mouth pull the pleasure from you steadily. At this pace, it will take you no time at all to come undone completely.

"You feel like heaven around me, baby," Namjoon mutters against your skin, lips dragging hot and wet, sending a shiver through you.

All you can do in response is let out a sound somewhere between a moan and a hum, unable to form words as Namjoon's fingertips on your clit bring you closer and closer to the edge. With a quake of pleasure throwing your rhythm off, you grind your hips forward and backward, hitting a spot that shoots a surprising wave of ecstasy through you, making your head fall forward. That is going to make you cum, and you redirect your movements and begin to grind yourself down on him, using his cock to get yourself off as your hips move front and back in quick, desperate ellipses.

"Oh, fuck," Namjoon groans, slamming his head back against the headboard as one hand grips your ribs while he continues to circle his fingers over your clit. "That's it, baby; make yourself cum."

You whimper and moan, letting syllables fall loosely in failed attempts to praise and beg, so close to the edge that you cannot form a coherent thought, much less sentence. Namjoon must understand you, though, and he swirls his hips just enough to make every one of your movements feel more intense, causing your orgasm to hit hard and fast, throwing you completely from your axis.

You continue to grind, rushed and frantic as you chase your high, moving until it becomes too intense and you can go no longer, falling forward with your chest against Namjoon's face and your forehead resting against the headboard.

Namjoon wraps both arms around your hips and lifts, shifting beneath you without pulling out to lay you down on your back. You gasp and attempt to grip onto the yellow comforter for purchase, but Namjoon gets onto his knees and begins to fuck you through what is left of your orgasm so hard and fast that your back arcs, frozen in pleasure, with your hands open wide, unable to grasp onto anything, forcing the last ounce of your sanity to slip between your fingers.

"This what you need, baby?" Namjoon groans as sweat drips from his forehead, landing on your neck. "Cum on this cock. Show me how much you like it."

All you can do is allow your orgasm to quake through you as Namjoon fucks you into your mattress, and you are grateful for the sturdy bed frame making minimal noise. With your mouth agape, you moan and sob, and finally, when your high begins to hinge on overstimulation, you grasp onto the blanket, clutching it tight.

"Fuck," you gasp, squeezing your eyes closed. "Too much. 'S too much."

"Call your safeword if you need it," Namjoon commands as his hips continue to slam against your spread thighs.

You do not want to call your safeword. Truth be told, you hardly want him to slow down, already feeling another high wash over you, covering your skin with tingling warmth. When you open your eyes, Namjoon is frowning down at you, brows knit with concentration as he pounds his thick cock into you with no remorse, and you stretch your arms over your head and tilt your head back, basking in the feeling.

Sweat drips from Namjoon's forehead and neck, hitting your skin in cool drops, tickling as they trickle down to the comforter below. With your orgasm dissipating, you begin to worry that perhaps you should hurry up and finish before Yoongi returns. But Namjoon feels good—unrelentingly good. You do not want him to stop.

The loud, shrill sound of Namjoon's phone ringing pulls you from your thoughts, but Namjoon does not slow down, slamming you into the mattress even harder, as if desperate to get off. But then, as if coming to his senses, Namjoon slows his pace, rolling his hips while his moans fade to pants, and he acknowledges the sound.

With a sigh, Namjoon brings his hips to a stop, all the while his phone continues to ring. You recognize the tone from the time Yoongi called while the two of you were at Namjoon's house, and you wonder if it is Yoongi on the other end, once more. Namjoon pulls out, leaving you feeling cold and empty, and flops onto his side, hanging off the edge of the bed to search for the ringing device before pulling it to his ear and answering it.

"Hey, handsome," Namjoon says as he remains hanging from your bed, panting between words. "Yeah, we were just, uhh…keeping each other distracted until you returned."

Interesting choice of words, and although you admit that you were attempting to distract him earlier, you wonder what he thinks he is distracting you from.

"In her room," Namjoon responds after a pause, and you watch as his smile softens while he stares off to the side. He says, "We'll look forward to it...love you too," with his smile growing, then ends the call, tosses the phone back onto the pile, and sits up with a slight groan.

"I'm sure you could guess who that was," Namjoon says, getting back onto his knees and spreading your legs around his hips. His cock seems to have softened some, and he fists it slowly in one hand.

"Taehyung?" you respond teasingly, watching as Namjoon's eyebrows raise in amusement, then he leans with one hand anchored by your side, towering over you.

"Would you like that?" He asks, voice dark and deep. "Would you like for the doctor to join us?"

With a chuckle, you consider your words, raising your eyebrows much in the same way he had. You are not sure Taehyung's so-called fascination with human bodies—as Felix so colorfully put it—would translate to joining you in bed.

"I think I'm good," you finally say, failing to think of something quippy in response, making Namjoon's cheeks crease with dimples as he chuckles to himself.

"Do you have the energy to keep going?" Namjoon asks, leaning closer and caging your head in with both hands. His breath is warm against your face, and you do your best to lift your head and strain for a kiss until he gets the hint and lowers even more.

With a low groan, you suck his lip into your mouth, then release it and say, "You didn't cum yet."

Namjoon shrugs, but you can tell by the curl of his lips that he is pleased with your consideration.

"I don't mind," he responds, and you shake your head.

"I want you to."

All Namjoon has to do is roll his hips forward and his cock slides into your wet heat, making you gasp and lift your own hips upward, searching for more. He goes slow, pushing forward until his pelvis is pressed into you then dragging himself out, making your eyes roll back as you feel every inch of him along your walls.

"So big," you mutter almost mindlessly as he thrusts slowly forward, making you dizzy.

"You take me so well," Namjoon groans against your lips, and you drop your mouth open to whimper through his languid movements, pleased when he dances his tongue over yours and fills your mouth with his own sweet sounds.

From outside the door, you hear a raspy, "Knock, knock," accompanied by actual knocking, and you smile, feeling warmth bloom in your chest knowing that Yoongi has arrived. You assume that he was pleased with what you and Namjoon were up to based on Namjoon's expression while they were speaking on the phone, and you no longer feel trepidation about him finding you. In fact, with the door to your bedroom slowly opening, you become excited knowing that Yoongi is walking in on the sight of you and Namjoon together.

Namjoon's mouth is still connected to yours, and his hips do not hesitate as Yoongi enters the room. A low, raspy groan of approval fills the space, and you sink further into bliss, feeling warmth cover you from the knowledge of being watched. And although you cannot see him, you can hear Yoongi getting undressed as fabric hits the floor, followed by the jangling of a belt buckle.

"Is it my birthday?" Yoongi asks, voice closer than you expect, causing goosebumps to bloom over your skin.

Namjoon breaks the kiss, and you whine indignantly, opening your eyes to find him sitting up to connect his lips with Yoongi's waiting mouth. Yoongi stands shirtless, bent over the edge of the bed, anchored on one palm, and his chest is already flushed a pretty, rosy shade. His slacks hang open, and he fists himself over his black briefs, getting himself hard as Namjoon continues to slowly fuck you.

"Tell us what we can do for you," Namjoon mutters, rolling his hips at an angle that makes you shudder and whine, feeling a new burst of arousal alongside the familiar.

"Just want to watch you two," Yoongi groans, hand tightening over his bulge.

Namjoon kisses down Yoongi's jaw and neck, then backs away and sits up tall between your spread legs, all the while Yoongi turns to look at you, gaze soft and kind as he smiles and bites his bottom lip. You reach out for Yoongi, also eager for a kiss, but Namjoon pulls his hips back and slams them forward, causing your body to seize with pleasure before your arms and head fall back against the mattress.

"Fuck!" you cry, as Namjoon pulls back and ruts forward once more, hard and fast enough to make your head spin.

"Just look at you," Yoongi groans, and you open your eyes to find his gaze has darkened. "So perfect."

Namjoon grips onto the backs of your thighs firmly with both hands, bowing his back as he fucks you hard and fast, and you clench the comforter as bliss crashes rapidly through you. Sweat beads and drips down Namjoon's torso, and you follow the movement as one particular droplet rolls to his tummy, disappearing against his skin. His abdomen tenses and relaxes as he ruts into you, and you attempt to watch the mesmerizing undulation, but you feel another high rapidly begin to build, and you squeeze your eyes tight momentarily as you reach one hand between your legs to play lazily with your clit.

At the first touch of your fingertips, you tense up from the burst of arousal, and Namjoon moans while gazing down at you, eyes fixed and hungry. You can tell from the lift of his brow that he wants you to squeeze him again, and you do so, rhythmically tightening your muscles around him until his mouth falls open and he breathes out a deep moan.

"Not gonna last if you keep doing that, baby."

With a pleased hum, you respond, "Good. Want you to cum," giving Namjoon a mock-innocent smile and flutter of your lashes when he glares at you frustratedly.

Namjoon picks up his pace, making it impossible for you to tease him further—if your walls do tighten around him, it is involuntary, caused by the accelerated pace at which you climb closer to orgasm.

"Fuck, Namjoon! S-so good!" you sob, circling your fingers over yourself faster. Desperate to cum again, you begin to beg, chanting, "Please, please, please," as your eyes roll back and your body arches.

Orgasm quakes and erupts through you, and you lay frozen in pleasure as only rasps and breathy whimpers leave your lips. Namjoon's hips begin to stutter, and he pulls out, taking you by surprise as his cock is replaced by his fingers. He roughly presses them up into your sweet spot, making another orgasm build and explode so fast, you scream, feeling the overwhelming gush of pleasure overtake you. Your release sprays against your thighs, and Namjoon replaces his fingers with his cock, fucking you at a punishing pace for an intense but short-lived burst before his hips still, and he cums inside you.

You babble somewhat incoherently, sobbing as Namjoon's hips tremble, and he sits back, pulling out. Sweat covers you, turning your red-hot skin cold. Before you have a chance to catch your breath or get your bearings, two large hands grab you by the hips and tug at you, turning you forcefully until your feet fall off the side of the bed, and you find Yoongi yanking your hips to the edge while he sinks onto his knees and buries his face between your legs.

Your cunt is sensitive, and as Yoongi laps his tongue over you, from your hole to your clit and back down, you tremble and sob, overstimulated but already enraptured by the sensation. Yoongi's tongue enters you, and he slurps and hums, eyes closed as he devours you.

"Holy shit," you whimper as your head falls back, and you lay pliant for Yoongi to taste as he pleases. The thought of him eating Namjoon's cum out of you sends a fluttering of arousal to your core, and you sink further into bliss, only coming back to earth after Yoongi manages to quickly pull a small, steady orgasm from you.

By the time you open your eyes and meet his glistening smile, you feel as though your soul is barely tethered to your body, attempting to float up into the heavens.

"No more," you whine, feeling spent beyond belief. "I can't take it. Sakura."

Yoongi's hands slowly rub up and down your thighs, and he chuckles, voice soft and light as air. He raises a brow and asks, "Namjoon fucked you that good, hmm?"

Warmth rises to your cheeks, and you nibble on your bottom lip as you nod, then tip your head to the side to find a sweaty, beautiful Namjoon sitting against your headboard, grinning.

"I still have enough energy to take care of you," Namjoon offers, eyes drifting to Yoongi.

You turn and watch Yoongi shake his head and say, "That won't be necessary," cheeks turning a faint, pretty red.

"Nonsense," Namjoon responds, making his way to Yoongi, crawling on his hands and knees. "It's been too long since you've coated my tongue in your cum, baby. Be good for me and fuck my throat? Pretty please?"

Yoongi sits back on his heels and chuckles, softly shaking his head before glancing up at Namjoon with a fire in his gaze.

"Well, since you asked so nicely," he drawls as he stands and rubs his palm over his bulge. "Who am I to say no to you, daddy?"

You are certain you are never going to get used to hearing Yoongi calling Namjoon daddy. And when Yoongi drops his slacks and briefs to the floor, taking Namjoon's face in his hands, sliding his cock back into his throat, and holding it until Namjoon turns bright red and gags, you are certain you will never get used to sights like this, either.

The instruction was to wear something comfortable for a long trip, so you opt for the black leggings you had on earlier and a simple burgundy knit sweater. There is a knock at your door, and you look up from the small black suitcase sprawled open on your bed, into which you have been placing loungewear and boxes of your favorite jewelry.

Earlier, Yoongi insisted he would join you to select gowns and jackets for you to wear once he got dressed, so you have been killing time while waiting. As much as you wanted to join him and Namjoon for a shower, your hair was barely dry from the first one, so you opted to just get dressed and wait for them. You will likely want to shower at the end of this so-called long trip, anyway, so doing so again feels like an irresponsible use of water.

After another knock, you say, "Come in, Namjoon," knowing it is certainly not Yoongi; he always just walks right in.

Namjoon's deep chuckle gives him away, and he pushes the door open and steps inside, making you gasp. The sight of him standing in a simple white cotton short sleeve tucked into black slacks should not have the effect it does, but you still watch in awe as every curve of muscle is perfectly accentuated by his clothing. He has a jacket slung over one arm that matches the slacks, and you imagine that once he puts it on, he will look quite dapper.

"I feel underdressed," you complain, glancing down at your pedestrian cozy clothing.

Namjoon shakes his head.

"We need to make a pitstop and meet with someone before we head to our destination, and it will be for the best that you are underdressed and unrecognizable."

Although Namjoon delivers this news calmly, there is something about it that makes you uncomfortable. Where will the three of you be headed, and why should you be unrecognizable? Is it mafia related? The thought of being caught in another gunfight kicks bile up into your throat, and you attempt to swallow down the feeling and shake it off.

Namjoon must notice your shift in mood. He quickly rounds the bed and approaches, placing his hands on your upper arms and gently holding you while bending to look into your eyes.

"Hey, sweetheart, where we're going is safe, okay? Don't worry."

"Safe," you respond, nodding your head slowly. Somehow, you struggle to believe it.

"Yoongi just has to meet with some old friends in Hong Kong. Nobody there should know who we are aside from his friends, and I only meant that you should be unrecognizable in some slim, off-chance that anyone does recognize him."

Namjoon's words are not fully making sense. It is clear that he wants to comfort you, but he also seems to be talking in circles, leading you to think that even he is unsure of what the truth fully is. If someone recognizes him, and you are seen with him, then you will also become a target. The two of you have been seen in public, with a very publicized engagement; surely his enemies must know what you look like now, too…right?

You decide to stop overthinking it until Yoongi joins you; it would be better to ask him about it. Despite how poor of a read Yoongi had on the last situation in which you were told things would be fine, this seems more like something he has planned rather than a surprise visit from unwanted guests, so you hope, at the very least, that he knows what he is doing.

You nod once more, attempting to take in Namjoon's words, and he wraps you in a hug, pressing your face into his chest. His scent engulfs you, handsome musk dancing prettily with floral notes, and you sink further into him, allowing it to calm you as you take deep, heavy breaths. With another knock, Yoongi enters the room, and you let Namjoon break from the hug and pull away before you turn to Yoongi and, once again, suck air deep into your lungs.

Yoongi stands in a short sleeve button-up shirt with a white and red pattern that resembles palm fronds, which is left open and untucked. A white tank top is tucked into loose-fitting dark denim jeans with holes in the knees, accessorized with a black belt, and his hair is wet and hangs in waves, perfectly framing his face, driving you absolutely wild. He looks like a crime boss from an old 80s film, and it should not be so attractive, but it is.

With a deep, playful chuckle, Namjoon approaches Yoongi, who rounds your bed, and you follow, shoving Namjoon gently out of the way to approach and run your hands over Yoongi's chest, filled with the sudden urge to feel him. Yoongi seems pleased with the attention, quirking an eyebrow at Namjoon as if to tease him while wrapping his arms around your waist. Up close, there are little white stars on his shirt, in between the leaf patterns on top of a black background, and you dance your fingertips over them, surprised to see him wearing such a design.

"Where did you find a shirt like this?" you tease, and Yoongi directs his quirked eyebrow to you as he chuckles.

"This shirt is Gucci, darling."

As if having a brand name attached to the garment makes it any less absurd. Still, the part of you that appreciates fashion feels a bit excited by the news.

"We're going to Hong Kong, hyung, not Miami," Namjoon chides, coming into view on your left and stealing Yoongi's smile for himself. "You look like Tony Montana."

"Well, I feel like Tony Montana," Yoongi responds with a playful snarl. "So, I suppose it's appropriate, is it not?"

"Speaking of," you say, hesitant to ruin the mood, but already feeling your anxiety begin to rise. "What are we doing in Hong Kong?"

Yoongi turns his attention back to you and rubs a hand soothingly up and down your back. You wonder if he can tell that you are stressed or if the urge to comfort you is becoming innate.

"I have to meet with some old friends," Yoongi unhelpfully supplies.

As you watch him gaze at you, eyes slowly traveling over your features, you can tell that there is more he wants to say, and you wait patiently for him to gather his thoughts. His hand continues its gentle path, easing you into whatever he is planning to say next while his other hand raises to gently take you by the chin.

"There are some aspects of my operations that I would like to…offload, let's say…onto someone else."

After another pause, you pull your lips into a straight line and nod.

"Well, that could not have been any more vague if you tried," you tease, though your voice is flat and gives no hint of playfulness; none of your anxiety is quelled.

"Once the deal is finalized, I will answer any and all of your questions," Yoongi adds as he gently tugs you close for a soft kiss, and you crack a smile against his lips.

Whatever it is, it must be a big deal for Yoongi to want to wait to discuss, and you suppose that it is better this way, in the long run. Although you would like to be in on his plans, as well, you realize that you may not quite be there, yet. Perhaps it is time to finally have a conversation about the state of your relationship.

"So, Hong Kong, and then what?" you ask.

Yoongi's eyes brighten, and his lips pull into a wide, gummy smile, setting your heart a little more at ease.

"It's a surprise, darling," Yoongi responds, standing taller and placing a kiss against your temple. "Let's pick out some clothing for the trip."

With a nod, you smile and allow Yoongi to pull you into your closet, straight back to the formal and semi-formal dresses, while Namjoon begins to rummage around, choosing jewelry and shoes. Wherever you are going, it must be expensive, and you cannot wait.

Although you are not surprised to discover that Yoongi owns a private jet, you are still in awe as you enter the airplane cabin and look around. You have been in a couple commercial planes before, but none of them are sleek marvels of modern design, with black leather, gold, and mahogany interiors—following the theme of everything else Yoongi owns. There are large, comfortable chairs—two rows of four with an aisle between pairs—and a couch against one side of the aisle facing flatscreen television on the other. Through an entrance past the seats, toward the back of the plane, there even appears to be a bed.

You take a step into the space, unsure what to do with yourself, and Yoongi places a hand on the small of your back and guides you forward enough to let Namjoon into the cabin. Staff members have taken your luggage, so you are empty-handed, and your arms hang down at your sides as you fidget along the edges of your long sleeves with your fingertips.

"The first flight is about four hours," Yoongi informs as you make your way toward the couch. "Would you like to sit and watch through the window, watch a movie, lay down…"

As he trails off, you look around and decide that it would be nice to distract yourself during the first flight, so you mutter, "Watch a movie," while taking a seat on the couch and scooting into one corner, leaving room for the others to join you.

"Do you have Scarface?" Namjoon asks with a shit-eating grin.

Yoongi gives you an incredulous smile before sitting beside you and slinging his arm over your shoulder as he grumbles, "I have every movie you could possibly want, Joonie. Put on fucking Scarface if it makes you happy."

"Doesn't he die at the end?" you ask with a frown.

"He does," Yoongi responds, pulling you close. "Are you hoping for something with a happier ending?"

Although you are merely discussing a movie, you find yourself picturing Yoongi as the ill-fated Tony Montana, feeling a swell of negative emotion as you attempt to keep your voice from trembling while muttering, "A h-happy ending once in a while would be nice."

Because sure, Yoongi may feel like the world is his while dressed like a Hollywood mob boss, and it is fun for Namjoon to tease him. But you know how those movies go. None of them end on a happy note, and in many of them, the boss is murdered, or they become so hardened by the lifestyle that they wind up dead inside. And the idea of either of those realities befalling Yoongi at such a young age makes you feel awful.

"We can watch one of my comfort films if you'd like," Namjoon offers, taking his place beside Yoongi and leaning over his lap to look at you with a soft smile.

You return Namjoon's smile and nod, eager to find out what a man like him watches for comfort. You wonder if it is some silly action flick where a himbo with a heart of gold wins over the girl in the end, surprised when he grabs the remote, turns on the television, and searches for Howl's Moving Castle.

"Don't you want to be in the middle?" Yoongi asks.

Without waiting for a response, Yoongi begins to stand, and Namjoon scoots over, giving you all the room you need to slide beside Namjoon and settle into his side as Yoongi sits and lifts your legs to rest over his thighs. You barely make it through the opening scene as sleep takes you, blinking heavily as Howl whisks Sophie off her feet to walk above the rooftops before you fall fast asleep.

As soon as you arrive to Hong Kong, you exit the plane and head straight to an older model red car that is long and boxy, leaving behind your luggage with the promise to return soon. Two men sit in the driver and passenger seats of the vehicle, and you and Yoongi clamber into the backseat on the passenger side, while Namjoon rounds the hood and gets in on the other side. The back seat is roomy, but you still feel trapped between broad shoulders as you fasten your seatbelt and settle back against the tan leather.

A man with a green buzzcut sits in the driver's seat, and beside him is a man with short, dark hair. Both men have cigarettes hanging from their lips, and the passenger rotates his torso to look back and give a lazy smile while the driver glances into the mirror and grins. There seems to be a tension in the air that melts the moment Yoongi gets settled.

"Min fucking Yoongi," the driver shouts, rotating to look back and glance at you and Namjoon, "Kim mother fucking Namjoon. What have you boys gotten into? And where are you taking this pretty thing?"

"Uiseok, Wonjin," Yoongi responds excitedly, leaning forward and jostling you into Namjoon as he reaches over your lap to low-five and fist-bump the two men. "Good to see you guys. Thanks for having us."

From your left, Namjoon wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you gently into his side, and Yoongi introduces you, making your cheeks warm as you lift a hand to greet the two of them. And then you are off, driving through neon-lit streets in the middle of the night. Some dreamy track plays on the radio, and both Uiseok and Wonjin bop their heads to the beat, muttering along.

You glance through the windows, alternating between staring out the front and bending to look through the left, past Namjoon, and through the right, past Yoongi. The streets are bustling with a calm chaos of food stands and pedestrians while cars zip by and bicycles weave through the traffic, causing your heart to flutter excitedly. And then the scenery shifts and the excitement fades as you enter an area with far less traffic, swerving through housing projects with tall, dense apartment buildings.

When the car finally pulls up to a curb, you are surprised to find yourselves outside a diner on what looks like a deserted street. Yoongi gets out first, holding his hand out to you, so you unbuckle your seatbelt, feeling a surge of trepidation as the other three men stay in the car. You slide out and get onto your feet, then notice a woman inside the diner who stands from a booth directly on the other side of the tall glass window from where the two of you are, making her way to the nearby door to come outside.

"Darling, this is Sohee," Yoongi says as he gestures to the woman. She wears a dark mauve shirt untucked over brown pants and has long, somewhat wavy dark brown hair with soft, almost innocent features that curl bright and pretty when she smiles. "The boys and I are going to head to that building there—" Yoongi nods to a corner over your shoulder, to the left, and you turn to see what looks like a brick apartment building on the corner, "—to discuss a deal. We will meet you back here when we are done. Shouldn't take long."

Although you are not sure you feel too great about being dumped off with a stranger, you have no desire to argue. You have seen enough excitement lately, so if waiting at a diner in the middle of the night with this new woman is what Yoongi wants you to do, then you are content in doing so.

"Right this way," Sohee sing-songs in a voice that is surprisingly soft, taking your hand and tugging you toward the entrance to the diner.

You glance back and catch a fond smile pulling at Yoongi's lips before he gets back into the car, which drives across the street and rounds the corner. And although you know it is irrational to feel nervous about being left behind as you watch the white and red car disappear, you can't help it.

"Hungry?" Sohee asks, pouting as you take your seat across from her. The booths are hard off-yellow lacquered wood with a white rectangular table in the center, lining the window and teal tile walls, and the space is more dimly lit than you would expect from a restaurant. The white penny tile floor is chipped in places, revealing concrete, and you do not see a single menu anywhere.

You have no idea if you are hungry, but you glance around the space, noting that you are the only two people here and that nobody appears to be out in the streets. Even from where you assume a kitchen may be, past a steel door behind Sohee, you hear nothing. It feels eerie and ominous, weighing over you heavily.

"Not really," you respond sheepishly, pulling your shoulders high around your ears.

"Nervous?"

You nod and glance around once more before making eye contact. Sohee smiles, and it is sweet enough to make you want to relax, but there is something playful in her eyes, making you think that she is in on a joke that you do not fully understand.

"They won't be long," she assures you, sitting back against the booth and crossing her arms over her chest.

You hum and nod, then stare out the window at the empty street. There is no use watching for the men to return; they could take anywhere from five minutes to an hour—god forbid longer. But it is hard not to be distracted by the empty corner around which they disappeared. At least all the men seem to be on friendly terms, assuaging your fear, if only a little.

"How'd you get roped up with these guys?" Sohee asks, and you turn back to her, mouth agape.

It occurs to you that you have never told the story before. Can you tell the story? Does this group know exactly what Yoongi does? They have to…right?

"I, uh…" you trail off, blinking heavily, unsure what to say. And then the absurdity of the situation hits you, and you start to laugh. It starts small—a chuckle working its way through your throat. But then you find yourself full-on laughing—closing your eyes and shaking your head as you sink back further into the booth as you attempt to catch your breath.

Sohee lifts her brows, eager to hear what you have to say, and you swallow a lump and chuckle again, shaking your head some more. You suppose you could try to explain it without being explicit with the details.

"We met through a, uh…a mutual…" you trail off thinking about your ex-boyfriend, the spineless schmuck who sold you out for drug money. Good riddance, honestly. "A-and I just started going around him and the guys more, and…"

You can tell by the small, knowing smile that Sohee does not believe your story. Or, rather, that she knows it is bullshit, and that you are purposefully holding back all the actual details. She is polite enough not to say anything, at least. You laugh to yourself once more, giving up on continuing what you were saying. It feels…odd…to be sitting in a public place with a stranger, having a plain, normal, everyday conversation. You had not realized how rare moments like these have been until it sinks in and settles over you like a blanket that is cool to the touch, not yet having had a chance to absorb your body heat.

When your eyes move to the street once more, you see two people coming around the corner who are unfamiliar, but who are clearly walking in your direction and appear to be dressed the same way Sohee is, looking at you through the tall window. Fear spikes through you, setting every nerve on edge, and you tense up and turn to Sohee, feeling yourself tremble as you ask with wide eyes and shaking lips, "D-do you know th-those two?"

Sohee turns to glance over her shoulder and nods her chin at the men, winning her a nod in return. Then you see Namjoon, Yoongi, and the two men whose names you have already forgotten walk around the corner, making you relax. Yoongi has a smirk that you can identify even from this distance. And then, to your surprise, Taehyung rounds the corner, walking with a long black trench coat over a three-piece suit and tie with the lapels of the jacket pulled up over his neck, followed by Jeongguk, who is dressed head to toe in black leather and denim. What on earth are they doing here?

All eight of them approach the restaurant, and one of the people who you had not met, a shorter person with shoulder-length dark, wavy hair and bangs hanging into their eyes, pops their head into the diner and smiles as they say, "Shall we go celebrate?"

When you look between them and Sohee, wondering what the person means by go celebrate, she laughs while gesturing around with her arm out.

"There is no food or drink to be had here. This place is a front."

"Oh," you respond, feeling silly because of course it is a front; there is nothing on the windows or door to indicate that this place serves food at all.

Everyone enters the diner and files through the tall steel door behind Sohee, and you stand to make your way to the group in time for the terror twins to enter the building. Yoongi and Namjoon give you a smile before following the others, and Jeongguk falls into step behind you as Taehyung drapes his arm over your shoulder in a surprising show of friendliness, leading the two of you into a kitchen. On the far wall, there is a stove, several metal countertops, and a tall steel fridge. Dishes are stacked on shelves, and there is a small pantry shelf with boxes that you imagine are either empty or full of expired food products, such as oils, sugars, and so on.

The man with the green buzzcut walks to a tall, steel walk-in cooler door, pulls out a set of keys, and unlocks it. Then he pulls it open and enters through a curtain of thick vinyl strips, and everyone follows one after the other. You imagine that the giant cooler you are entering is not in operation, but you hug your arms around yourself a little tighter, grateful for the warmth of Taehyung at your side.

"How was the flight here?" Taehyung asks, voice deep and soft, giving you a chill as he reaches out and parts the vinyl for you to walk through.

The room you enter looks like a walk-in cooler, for all intents and purposes, with metal racks along the left and right walls. But the cooling mechanism is shut off, leaving the dark room stiflingly humid, and straight ahead, there is a doorway, through which the group has already begun to walk.

"It was good," you respond, "Yoongi's plane is nice."

Taehyung hums and gives you a squeeze before letting his arm fall from your shoulder, hand running down your back before his touch disappears entirely. "You should fly in mine sometime," he says before falling back a step and letting you continue through a much smaller doorway ahead.

The narrow door leads into a short, narrow hallway, which opens into a large room that looks like something out of a movie. The carpeting is maroon and gold, much like what you might see in the hallway of a five-star hotel, and all the furnishings are red leather, dark wood, and gold. A garish crystal chandelier hangs over the room, and four large red couches surround a massive glass table in the center of the space.

Gold and jade green sconces dot the walls, along with an eclectic array of paintings and tapestries hanging here and there, and spread throughout the space is a collection of furniture pieces, vases, statues, and other tchotchkes from various cultures, some seeming Korean and others less recognizable. You get the sense that this group of people is rather chaotic, and the fact that they seem to mesh well together while staying in a place with this level of organized anarchy just makes sense.

Everyone kicks out of their shoes and boots and makes their way to the sofas while the two men you met earlier walk over to what looks like a bar on the far left wall. You take your place on the furthest couch from the door, with Yoongi and Namjoon to your left, and Jeongguk and Taehyung to your right. Sohee and the two you have not met sit on the couch to the left, and the two men you met earlier return, hugging bottles of champagne in each arm and carrying stacks of highball glasses.

"I forgot the guys' names," you mutter, leaning toward Yoongi, who wraps an arm around your lower back and rubs his palm soothingly up your side.

"Uiseok and Wonjin," Yoongi responds softly, nodding to the men who approach, jogging your memory.

Uiseok is slim and muscular, with pretty, sleepy features, smiling lazily through squinted eyes, appearing to be a bit stoned, and Wonjin has soft but defined features, with full lips that hang in a bit of a frown, and expressive eyes that also appear bloodshot and squinted. Both men wear the same dark mauve shirt and brown pants as the others, giving you a bit of a cult vibe, and you make a mental note to ask Yoongi about it later.

Yoongi lifts his hand and points his palm toward the two on the left who you had not yet been introduced to as he says, "And this is Chanhee and Seungmin."

You follow the movement of Yoongi's hand as he points out the other two, who sit on either side of Sohee, and they wave as you tell them your name. The one with long hair hanging over their eyes is Seungmin, and Chanhee has his hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, wearing wire-framed glasses over slightly elongated features. They both have light-colored button-ups tucked into dark slacks.

As Uiseok and Wonjin pop open bottles of champagne, Yoongi leans forward to take glasses from the stacks, and sets them out around the table, in front of everyone. All but Jeongguk scoot forward in preparation for a toast, and you glance over your shoulder, checking to see whether he is paying attention.

Jeongguk's expression is flat and his eyes are a bit glazed over as he stares ahead for several seconds before noticing you and meeting your gaze. He knits his brow and tilts his head slightly, and you interpret it as him asking what you want, so you lean back and shove your elbow into his leather-clad side until he grumbles softly and pushes you away.

"What?" he mutters, and you lean back more to quietly ask, "What's the matter?"

With a shrug, Jeongguk mumbles, "Nothing," but his expression says otherwise, and you study him a few more seconds until he nods his chin to the glasses of champagne being poured. You concede to allowing Jeongguk to wallow in whatever is on his mind for now, resolved to press him for information in private later.

"To the end of an era," Uiseok announces, taking you by surprise, and you turn to Yoongi, half expecting him to be displeased by what Uiseok says, but there is a wide smile on his face, pink gums on display as he reaches for a glass and holds it up.

"Welcome to the family," Yoongi announces as he stands and holds his highball of champagne to the center, over the table.

Everyone but Jeongguk follows suit immediately, and you reach for a glass and stand, holding it out while Yoongi leans back and instructs Jeongguk to get onto his feet and join the rest of you. Jeongguk clicks his tongue to the roof of his mouth, then lets out a sigh as he grabs the last glass, standing in such a rush that he bumps into you.

"S-sorry," he grumbles as a hand brushes over your lower back and then disappears, leaving a chill in its wake.

"It's fine," you respond, turning your head toward Jeongguk but keeping your eyes forward. Clearly, something is bothering him, and you are becoming increasingly eager to know what it is.

"We are very happy to join the team, and honored that you trust us with the operations," Wonjin adds. "We believe that we will make the Korean empire even stronger, and look forward to seeing more of you guys."

You mutter cheers along with the others, tap your glass against as many as you can realistically reach, and then you drink back the tangy-sweet liquid, letting the bubbles settle on your tongue. Everyone erupts into excited chatter, save for Jeongguk, who sits back down on the couch with a huff. You sit beside him, not really feeling social and already disinterested in the boom of conversation. Despite Yoongi welcoming them to the family, you still feel very kept in the dark about everything that is happening, and listening in on overlapping voices is only making you feel tired.

Jeongguk pulls a metal vial from the inner breast pocket of his jacket and hands it to you, so you wedge your glass between your knees and unscrew the top, then sniff back two small piles of cocaine, one into each nostril. When you hand it back to Jeongguk, his gaze is on you, soft and contemplative. You cock your head and ask, "What?" but he just shakes his head, sits forward, and reaches a thumb to gently brush just below your nose before taking his drugs back and inhaling two small piles of his own.

Feeling self-conscious about Jeongguk's gesture, you lift a hand to rub under your nose while your eyes drift down to your lap, catching a small chuckle that Jeongguk lets out, pulling your attention back to him. He gently shakes his head, then leans forward and mutters, "I wanna get out of here."

You also want to get out of here, and you nod your head, then glance around, unsure where you might go. Luckily, Jeongguk stands and asks, "Is there somewhere I can go to get some fresh air?" leading Uiseok to point to a door at the far end of the room.

Jeongguk leads the way, making a pitstop to grab his boots, and you stand and tilt into Yoongi saying, "I'm going to join him, okay?"

"Of course," Yoongi responds with a smile, then he leans toward the table, picks up a half-empty bottle of champagne, and hands it to you. "Take this."

Yoongi's hair is still wavy, just like it was when it was wet, but with a little more volume now that it has dried. You want to run your fingers through it and give it a little tug but resist the urge and instead take the champagne, swerving back for your shoes and following Jeongguk through a red doorway and out into another narrow hallway. This one is at least carpeted and leads to other rooms, and on the far end, there is a metal door that goes out to a street-level brick balcony.

The street is quiet when you and Jeongguk step out, and you glance around, taking in tall brick buildings that seem to be more or less abandoned. It certainly is the perfect spot for whatever this group of people does to operate while hiding in plain sight, you suppose.

"Brought you this," you say, handing Jeongguk the champagne. He appears to have left his glass inside and drinks straight from the bottle before handing it back to you.

You happened to bring your drink with you, so you chug back the rest of your glass and set it into a potted waist-height tree, nestling it into the dirt for safekeeping before taking a swig from the bottle and turning to Jeongguk. He pulls a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and uses his lips to yank one out, then fishes out a zippo lighter from the same pocket and flicks it to life. Jeongguk frowns slightly as he lights the cigarette, taking a deep breath and holding it in as his head tilts back and his eyes close.

"Do you want to talk about whatever is bothering you?" you ask softly, testing the waters.

Jeongguk lets out a huff of smoke and shrugs, keeping his gaze fixed on the street rather than looking at you.

"Not really."

"Alright," you concede, not feeling particularly eager to push him. "Well, do you want to talk about anything? Or do you like to just sit and wallow in silence?"

This makes Jeongguk scoff, and he finally turns his gaze to you, reaching for the champagne, which you hand over after a little resistance.

"And what would we talk about?" he asks with a sharp smirk.

You had not considered it before making the recommendation, and truth be told, you have no idea what the two of you would talk about. Does Jeongguk watch movies or listen to music? Does he have hobbies outside of his role within the family? What does he do in his spare time?

"Uh…" you try to think of something small to ease into getting to know one another and ask, "I don't know. Wh-what did you guys do on the flight here?"

Without breaking eye contact, Jeongguk says, "I snorted cocaine off Taehyung's dick and then he held me against the wall and fucked me."

Feeling somewhat stunned, you blink a few times and mutter, "Wh-what happens if the plane hits turbulence?"

Jeongguk cracks a smile and takes a step closer, somewhat crowding your space and making your heart pound heavily.

"While I'm snorting coke off his dick or while he's fucking me against the wall?"

"Ah-either way? I suppose?"

With a slight cock of his head, he says, "I guess in either instance, we end up making a mess."

"A mess?" you ask somewhat mindlessly, feeling your thought processes slow to a halt the closer Jeongguk gets.

With an affirmative hum, Jeongguk advances, looming close while taking a drag from his cigarette and letting the smoke exit from the side of his mouth, as if being careful not to blow it in your face. His proximity makes your palms prickle, and you grip onto the champagne bottle, hugging it to your chest despite how dry your mouth is. A sweet, lightly floral scent blends with the smoke, feeling almost enticing in the way it surrounds you.

"You're not shying away from me," he teases, and you glance back to find yourself cornered by a potted plant and brick on all sides.

So you ask, "Where would I go?" in as much of a playful tone as you can muster, swallowing a lump when Jeongguk just shrugs and continues to advance, forcing you to take two steps backward until your heels hit the wall. Although your heart pounds, the high from the cocaine also calms you enough that you lean into the cold brick and attempt not to crumble under Jeongguk's intense, undivided attention.

Jeongguk is dreadfully pretty with his wavy dark hair growing past his ears. You wonder if he can pull it back into a ponytail, and what that must look like. There is a tiny mole under his bottom lip and a faint scar on his cheek, and you wonder if anyone presses soft kisses to those spots. You wonder if he would let you press a soft kiss to those spots.

And then, in a moment of clarity, you realize what is happening, and you lift a hand, place it on Jeongguk's chest, against the black tee he wears beneath the thick leather jacket, and you give him a firm shove, causing him to back up a couple steps. Jeongguk chuckles as he stumbles, and he reaches up to hold your hand in place on his chest, taking you by surprise as the warmth of his hand engulfs yours.

You turn your head to the side so you can lift the bottle and take a long drink, then you hand it off to Jeongguk, who watches you with the same soft expression he had when you were sitting inside with everyone else.

"What?" you challenge as he takes the champagne and has a drink, sloshing the diminishing liquid contents loudly inside. "Why do you look at me like that? What is on your mind? Is something on my face?"

Jeongguk laughs and squeezes your hand, then he drops his hand to his side and shakes his head. You take back the bottle but watch him for his response before having another drink.

"You just seem much more relaxed," he finally says. "You don't look like a scared little dear anymore."

With a deep sigh, you drop your hand from Jeongguk's chest and lift one foot to anchor it against the brick wall.

"What's with all of you and comparing me to animals? Deer, wolf, lamb, dove…"

"You're right," Jeongguk responds with a mischievous smile. "Buttercup suits you more."

"Oh, fuck off," you grumble, lifting your hand to shove at Jeongguk again.

This time, he stumbles backward, clutching his chest while laughing, and you laugh along, tipping the bottle back to get the last of the champagne. Liquid nearly dribbles past your lips as you realize you underestimated how much was inside, and you pull the bottle away with barely any left, which Jeongguk swipes from you and finishes. Sheepishly, you wipe at the sides of your mouth using the back of your hand.

Jeongguk flicks the rest of his barely smoked cigarette into the street and then looks out into the dark city with a hint of a frown. You follow his line of sight and stand in silence, letting the cool but humid night air settle to your bones.

The street is scarce of life, with only overgrown plants taking over the sides of buildings, but nothing intentional or tended to with care. Whenever a small gust of wind picks up, you hear the sound of a metal sign creak and slam against a post, but otherwise, the only noise is the call of crickets. The night feels calm, and, to your surprise, being somewhere unfamiliar does not spark fear in your chest. Perhaps it is due, in part, to Jeongguk's company making you feel safe.

You are unsure how long you stand and stare out into the somewhat dilapidated urban sprawl of forgotten brick, concrete, and metal, but when Jeongguk speaks up, it takes you a bit by surprise.

"Are you happy living in the mansion?" he asks, and you turn to stare at the side of his face for a moment, equal parts stunned and endeared by his consideration.

You must take too long to respond, and he turns to you, fixing you with a curious gaze and making you feel put on the spot.

"Yeah, I guess so," you mutter, feeling the urge to fidget with the ends of your shirt sleeves. "I'm getting used to it."

"That's good," Jeongguk responds as his gaze falls, and he peers out into the street again. "I guess."

Perhaps you should speak more positively about life at the mansion. You are getting used to it and becoming much closer to Yoongi and Namjoon. Despite the somewhat harrowing events that recently took place, you have not had the desire to run for the hills. You have considered it, but you have no idea where you would go; it seems your life belongs to the mansion, now.

But the presence of another pulls you from your thoughts, and you turn to find Taehyung peeking his head through the doorway, glancing between you and Jeongguk. His eyes are bloodshot, and his lips are pulled into a pretty, droopy smile.

"Am I interrupting something?" he mumbles, and you shake your head while Jeongguk rolls his eyes, saying, "You wish, hyung," in a deep teasing tone that suddenly makes you feel like a third wheel.

"We're gonna head out soon," Taehyung says, standing straight and resting his head against the door frame. "How do you feel about getting a suite and leaving in the morning?"

With a shrug, Jeongguk says, "Whatever you want," and although his expression does not give him away, his voice does—sweet and caring, willing to accommodate.

"You and the doom boys are welcome to join us," Taehyung says as he turns his attention to you, waggling his eyebrows.

It is your turn to roll your eyes, and you almost question the silly nickname that you assume is meant for Yoongi and Namjoon, but Taehyung stands up straight and turns, walking back through the hallway before you have a chance to open your mouth. Jeongguk follows behind with the spent bottle of champagne in his grasp, and you grab your empty highball glass from the tree pot and follow, closing the door behind you.

When you return to the main room, Yoongi is laying back against the red leather couch with his face tipped to the ceiling, laughing so hard at something that his eyes are screwed shut, and he holds onto his stomach. On the table before him is a mess of empty champagne bottles, open switchblades, and a pile of cocaine. The stench of marijuana and tobacco fills the air, and everyone seems to be in a fit of laughter, muttering about something you cannot begin to parse. Namjoon notices your return and stands, announcing that the five of you are going to head out, and begins to hug everyone goodbye as the conversations fade and stop.

It takes Yoongi a moment to get up, and he is still doubled over when he stands, sniffling while wiping at his bloodshot eyes. When he sees you and his smile widens, you feel your heart pound rapidly in your chest. Yoongi is so beautiful, and in moments like this—when he can unabashedly be Min Yoongi, the ordinary person, and not some figurehead whose life is in danger—you think you could actually, fully, unequivocally love him.

"Ready, darling?" Yoongi asks, stumbling slightly as he approaches and wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into a tight hug.

"Ready when you are," you respond, keeping your arms to your sides because, although you are comfortable with the family men, showing affection with the audience of the others makes you uncomfortable. Yoongi does not seem to mind, holding just a moment longer before bending to slide into his boots.

You wave and bow goodbye to your hosts as the five of you exit the main room and walk through the narrow hallway, into the cooler. Taehyung is at the lead, and he opens the tall steel cooler door, holding it for everyone to walk through, then takes the rear while Jeongguk leads the group through the kitchen, into the diner.

"We should probably sober up for the other flight," Namjoon suggests, and Yoongi hums in response from behind you while gently placing a hand on your hip.

"We're getting a suite," Taehyung responds as the five of you walk out onto the street. "You're welcome to crash there until you are ready to go."

Despite feeling comfortable on the balcony earlier, walking out onto the mostly empty and unfamiliar street makes you tense up, and you look around as you go across to the other side, toward the corner everyone came around earlier, checking for vehicles and for people standing in windows. There is no sign of anyone around, but discomfort quakes through you as you wonder whether you are being watched or if the fear of being watched is just psyching you out to the point of paranoia.

The conversation between the men is all but lost on you until Yoongi gives your side a squeeze and asks, "Darling?"

"Hmm?" you respond, glancing to the side as he tugs you closer.

"Do you feel up to going back with them for a few hours?"

At this point, you just want to get off the street, and you are not overly concerned with where you wind up. So you say, "Sure," and give Yoongi a half smile, hoping it is enough to convince him that you are open to whatever they want to do. He does seem to be more intoxicated than you, although the champagne is beginning to catch up and make you feel a bit too light and also too heavy on your feet, swaying the world around you ever so slightly.

When you round the corner, there is a large SUV sitting next to the white and red car that Uiseok drove, and the five of you clamber in, with Yoongi and Namjoon sandwiching you in the backseat while Taehyung sits in the passenger seat, and Jeongguk takes over driving. The vehicle is just like the ones the men drive back home, and memories of the other night—collisions and gunfire—come flooding back, causing nausea to stir in your guts.

Jeongguk takes off while Taehyung thumbs around on his phone and then begins to give directions. You wonder if the place they plan to stay at is somewhere familiar to them, or if Taehyung found something spur of the moment. It only takes about fifteen minutes for you to reach your destination, and Jeongguk gets out first while Taehyung sits back in his seat and lets out a deep sigh.

"He's gonna make sure our room is available," he mutters, which only raises more questions than it answers.

Several minutes pass before Taehyung's phone dings. He groans as he tips his head forward to check the notification, then nods, says, "Let's get it," and opens his door to stumble out into the street.

You, Yoongi, and Namjoon exit, while Jeongguk returns with a hotel staff member who climbs into the front seat, presumably to drive it into a parking stall. Jeongguk removes two tall black suitcases from the trunk and places a palm on each one as he leans slightly forward and steers them through the glass front door, which slides open to the left and right as he approaches. Yoongi wraps an arm around Taehyung's upper back to guide him, and Namjoon takes your hand in his as you follow a foot or so behind.

"Remember this moment," Namjoon mutters, leaning close to your ear, "you will never see Taehyung this drunk again."

"What happened to him?" you ask, trying to imagine how much a person could possibly drink in the timeframe you were outside.

With a deep, amused laugh, Namjoon says, "Knife game. Wonjin bet that Taehyung couldn't stab a knife between his fingers as fast as he could. The loser had to chug a full bottle of champagne."

You struggle to imagine Taehyung being so reckless, and you regret not getting to see it for yourself, smiling at the thought of cocky Taehyung failing to poke the tip of a blade quickly between each of his spread fingers in front of everyone.

"So he got waisted, and he cut himself?" you ask,

"Yup! He nicked the side of his thumb!" Namjoon responds cheerfully, making you laugh.

The five of you walk through a somewhat luxurious lobby full of potted plants and decorative rugs. But all you pay attention to is your own feet and the backs of the feet in front of you as you imagine Taehyung and Wonjin playing the knife game for a captive audience. Is this what mafia men do for fun? It seems childish, but somehow, you find it a bit endearing.

As you all get into the large elevator, Jeongguk uses a keycard to access the top floor, and although you are getting used to the influence these men have, you are still a bit surprised that the room happened to be available. Taehyung did refer to it as their room; do they own it?

The elevator opens straight into the penthouse suite, which is furnished mostly white and tan, with light wood and silver accents, lit by simple, round overhead fixtures. The room itself is not too flashy, appearing somewhat lived in with a variety of plants that seem tended to, but bare of personal belongings like books or photographs. Taehyung kicks out of his untied boots and stumbles off to the right, and Jeongguk wheels the suitcases a few feet into the suite before releasing them, kicking out of his boots, and going over to the large white couch in the middle of the space.

An enormous glass wall overlooks the neighborhood below, and you glance out from across the room to see lights shine from the streets, some belonging to cars passing by and others a more permanent glow. Shoes and boots are left behind as Namjoon and Yoongi make their way to the open-concept kitchen, which is just to the left, and begin to rummage around, seemingly pleased to find the fridge is stocked with baijiu. Unsure what to do, you approach the couch and stand behind it, resting against the back with your arms folded over your chest.

Although you could keep drinking, you are unsure whether it would be in poor taste to go on when both hosts seem out of it—Taehyung having gone off to who-knows-where and Jeongguk sitting on the couch with his head tilted to the ceiling and his eyes closed. You wonder if whatever was bothering him before continues to weigh on his mind.

"Jeonggukah," Namjoon calls, earning a groan from the youngest. "Come on, sooner or later, you need to speak your mind."

"Don't want to right now," Jeongguk grumbles, sounding petulant.

"Don't be like this, Jeongguk," Yoongi teases as he brings four small baijiu bottles from the kitchen and sets them on the wooden table in front of Jeongguk. "Handing over drug operations does not mean you are getting demoted. I just need you by my side more, and I can't have you getting distracted with petty shit."

"I liked my duties," Jeongguk grumbles quietly, mostly to himself, and suddenly, it all makes sense. The responsibilities of handling the drug operations must have been passed off to Uiseok and his team, leaving Jeongguk to feel like he is being replaced.

Yoongi takes a seat to Jeongguk's right, and Namjoon sits to Yoongi's right, leaving the space to Jeongguk's left open, so you round the couch and approach slowly, first sitting on the armrest because this feels like a conversation that you are unsure you should participate in. But Yoongi reaches over Jeongguk's lap and pats the couch, grumbling for you to get comfortable, so you slide to the cushion and sit with your legs angled toward the men.

Namjoon busies himself with opening the bottles and sliding them along the table to everyone, and you glance between him and Yoongi before asking, "I thought the goal was to sober up."

"After this drink," he responds with a grin, instantly winning you over with his dimples.

You are in no rush, with nowhere to go until you are told it is time to leave, so you nod and smile, conceding to another drink. The champagne has made you tipsy, but you are far from drunk, despite never getting fed.

Deciding you are tired of Jeongguk being a somber lump, you lean and nudge him with your elbow, right into the ribs, causing him to lift his arm as if to swat you away, stopping mid-air with his hand raised and giving you a mock-threatening glare. He looks so adorable you break into laughter, nudging him more and more, tauntingly.

With a wide, incredulous stare, Jeongguk mutters, "Do you want to die?" and that sets you off, making you laugh so hard you double over practically onto his lap.

Yoongi and Namjoon join in on the laughter, clearly only serving to frustrate Jeongguk more, who firmly but playfully takes you by the biceps with both hands and shoves you away, toward the corner of the couch, muttering under his breath. Jeongguk's smoke-filled floral scent is intoxicating, and you find yourself falling momentarily pliant with his hands on you, sinking back into the white leather. But then he releases you, and you have the sudden urge once more to push all of his buttons.

Luckily, Yoongi distracts you by handing you a bottle of baijiu, followed by Jeongguk handing you a vial of cocaine. You take a long swig from the bottle, pleased by its tangy umami blend of citrus and floral notes, then you bend and reach forward to set it on the table and begin to unscrew the vial.

Taking two tiny piles of white powder into your nose should not feel so good. Perhaps it is the way the lingering flavor of the baijiu fills your senses, or you have grown accustomed to the bitterness of the coke, but as soon as it hits your sinuses and begins to trickle down your throat, you feel alive, tingling with exhilaration from head to toe.

When Jeongguk takes the vial back, his fingers engulf yours before sliding away, and you hold your breath, scared to gasp, or worse, exhale while letting out a sound. It was not long ago that Jeongguk's very presence was an annoyance, and here he is, affecting you in a way you had not expected. Perhaps it was better when he was determined to be mean. Then again, with the way you behaved toward him in the mansion the other day, bringing up his noona kink to tease him in front of the others, can you really blame him for wanting to taunt you—if that is what he is doing.

Your heart races so hard, you bend once more, reaching for your baijiu to take a drink. Suddenly, your throat feels so dry again. Suddenly, the chill glass of the bottle feels cold against your fingertips, causing you to shiver as you settle back and take a drink. You wonder how long you are going to be at this suite and whether or not Namjoon meant it when he said you would sober up after this bottle, or if their plans are so loose that literally anything could happen.

To make matters worse, Taehyung comes into the room, still with a bit of a wobble, but much more cognizant than he had been moments before. He appears to have quickly showered, and wears only a pair of grey sweatpants, squeezing his wet hair with a white towel as he surveys the scene before him with a lazy smile.

"Not doing anything without me, I hope?" he teases, words drawling lazily.

"Just cocaine and baijiu," Namjoon supplies in a chipper, golden retriever fashion that makes your heart flutter.

"I thought I heard giggling," Taehyung adds as he rounds the couch and sits on the arm to your left, effectively caging you in between himself and the others.

Jeongguk hums and leans into you, knocking your shoulder and causing you to nearly crash into Taehyung's hip. You feel completely thrown off your axis as you wobble, wondering if the baijiu is having a profound enough effect on you to actually make you drunk or if it is caused by Jeongguk's change in demeanor.

"Buttercup was causing trouble," Jeongguk teases, making you gasp and turn to him, affronted.

"I—wh—you!" you stammer, unable to find the words to express just how much it was Jeongguk causing the trouble while you were merely a bystander—a lie, but one you are willing to defend with your honor.

"It was both of them," Yoongi says, leaning forward to make playful eye contact and effectively finding himself at the very top of your shit list.

You fix Yoongi with your best serious gaze, muttering, "How…very…dare you," as you attempt to ignore Jeongguk's eyes burning into you the way that they do.

"The tension between them is palpable," Namjoon teases, making you gasp and flounder around syllables that never come because Yoongi adds, "You two should just kiss already," causing every hair on your body to stand up.

"Very funny," you say at the same time Jeongguk whines, "Hyungs, please," under his breath, sounding embarrassed.

With a heavy, defeated sigh, you chug back the rest of your baijiu, wiping your lips off with the back of your hand as you lean forward and place the empty down with a hollow thunk. You need to exit this suite before you wind up doing something stupid.

"Well, I finished my drink," you announce, staring at Namjoon, "so I suppose we can go, now!"

"But we still have our drinks," Yoongi pouts, holding up a bottle that is more than half full.

Taehyung's voice is deep and far too steady for how inebriated he seems as he asks, "Why are you in such a rush, buttercup?" and you turn to find him practically draped over the arm of the couch, leaning with his elbow anchored on the backrest, propping his head up.

The alcohol and cocaine combination makes you bold enough to face the elephant in the room, and you clear your throat before saying, "Probably because the four of you are menaces and for the sake of my sanity, I need to get the fuck out of here."

"Interesting," Yoongi drawls, and you turn to him with a pointed stare as you ask, "What?"

"Jeonggukie has the power to drive you insane," Yoongi responds without missing a beat, lips curling the way they always do when he is being particularly devious. "Why don't we explore this?"

You stare at Yoongi in a long silence, finally turning to Jeongguk only when the tension feels too thick to ignore. He gazes at you with that familiar soft expression, and you swallow a lump that has gathered in your throat.

"What are your thoughts?" you ask him before you can think better of it.

Jeongguk seems stunned by the question, staring unblinkingly for several seconds before blinking rapidly as if coming out of a trance. Then he licks his lips, and, like an idiot, you follow the movement. The way Jeongguk smiles tells you he noticed you looking, and suddenly, his sweet expression is replaced by a cocky one.

"Why?" he asks, tilting his head and making a show of looking down at your lips and back up. "You thinking about kissing me, or something?"

If he weren't such a brat, perhaps you would be willing to admit to the truth, but with this attitude, you scoff and roll your eyes, muttering, "You wish," under your breath.

"Find out," Jeongguk challenges, taking you by surprise.

You begin to ask, "What?" but he cuts you off, leaning forward until your lips are less than a foot apart.

"Make your move, buttercup. Find out just how badly I wish you would kiss me."

When you glance over at Yoongi and Namjoon, they both have eager smiles, watching with their lips parted in concentration. Jeongguk's eyes seem to stay on you—or if they stray, it is too fast for you to notice—and you lean forward, challenging his resolve.

"Now why would I do something like that?" you ask, noticing the way Jeongguk's brow and lips quirk. The movement is slight, but you recognize it as frustration.

Jeongguk is clearly not used to this kind of challenge, and it seems to be bothering him that you are not immediately willing to cave. This is the second time in a couple of days that you have pushed his buttons, but this time, he does not seem inclined to storm away.

Slowly, Jeongguk lifts a hand, reaching just below your chin, but stopping before making contact. The warmth from his skin feels electric—like a charge zipping through the air and connecting the two of you. You concede just enough to lean into the touch, allowing Jeongguk's fingertips to graze your cheek, causing his pupils to dilate.

With the warmth of Jeongguk's gentle contact, you feel emboldened, and you tilt your head to the side just enough to brush your lips over the heel of his hand, hearing as his breath catches in his throat.

"As much as I enjoy our banter, I am growing a little weary," you mutter, lips dragging over his palm before you return his hand to your cheek. "It's fine if you don't want to kiss me; I won't be offended. But if you really do want to kiss me, then just do it already."

Jeongguk's eyes widen, and you think for a split moment that he might back off and call it a night. But then he uses his fingertips against your cheek to guide you toward him, meeting in the middle until his lips are against yours and he is swallowing your gasp whole.

It comes as no surprise that Jeongguk instantly nips and sucks at your lip, slowly but with enough force that it has you whimpering and dropping your mouth open wide. Wasting no time, Jeongguk licks into your mouth, groaning deeply and forcing a gasp from you as tangy baijiu and stinky cigarette smoke coat your tongue in an enticing tangle.

Despite how languid his movements are, there is an eagerness behind each of them, filling your mouth with his tongue until your lips are stretched wide before teasing your bottom lip with his teeth, alternating in fluid, dizzying motions. Arousal shimmers through your bloodstream like glitter, and you lift your hands to grip onto his leather jacket to hold him close, keeping your mouth open for him to use and explore, swallowing his soft groans and whines.

Kissing Jeongguk feels cathartic somehow—as if the months of bickering and tension have been washed away, and all that is left is the two of you sitting open and raw and ready to be vulnerable with one another. Although the thought of it absolutely terrifies you, it also thrills you, and you whimper against his mouth, feeling yourself completely slip from any semblance of control you thought you might have been able to hold onto.

Now that you have had a taste of Jeongguk, will it be enough? Or will you need to satiate a greater hunger? You are not sure that you are ready for it, just yet.

With a gasp, you break the kiss, tilting your chin downward, doing your best to steady your frantic heart. You tip your head forward just long enough to press a soft kiss against the mole beneath his lip, then lean your forehead against his. Jeongguk chases after your lips before seemingly coming to his senses and backing off, but staying close by, forehead still resting gently against yours.

Suddenly, you are exhausted. The weight of everything that has culminated to get to this point feels heavy and thick, and you find yourself succumbing quickly to its whim.

"Sorry," you mutter, unable to fight the urge to apologize. "I feel really tired. I think we should stop."

Jeongguk nods his head, swallowing visibly, and you are unsure whether you detect disappointment, or if he is simply tired, as well.

"We have two rooms," Taehyung offers softly, and suddenly, you remember that there are three other men who have been watching everything.

Warmth floods your cheeks, and you release Jeongguk's jacket, dropping your hands to your lap as you nod and say, "Thanks, Tae."

Everyone seems frozen in place, waiting for someone to make the first move, so you do it, turning away from Jeongguk and scooting to the edge of the couch before standing on shaking legs and glancing around, unsure where to go.

Yoongi gets the hint and stands, nodding toward the wall directly behind you as he says, "That way," so you nod and turn, walking several steps in that direction before rethinking your decision to just run away from the situation at hand. At the very least, you should say something.

"Thanks for letting us stay," you begin, giving Taehyung a bow of your head and a smile before locking eyes with Jeongguk. "And thanks for…that…for finally doing that. We should talk about it later, but...it was nice."

You feel somewhat embarrassed by your inability to just say the words you want to say, but decide it is enough; you are tired. So you turn toward the bedroom and walk in that direction, not bothering to switch on any lights as sleep claws at every edge of you, dragging you down, down, down.

In a last-ditch effort to get comfortable, and since your suitcase is still tucked away on Yoongi's plane, you get undressed in the dark room and climb into bed wearing only your underwear. The blanket is cool to the touch, and you shiver as you scoot into the center and cover yourself completely, waiting for the others to join. It does not take long, but you are already half asleep when warm arms engulf you in the form of familiar limbs on either side. You hope that tonight, you do not have any nightmares.

they kissssseddddd!!!! i know some of you are going to kill me for only making them kiss, but, listen: i like to build tension. and make you cry a little, too.

at the end of the last chapter, a lot of people asked after Jimin! he's off living his best life, so don't stress! he is not the kind of character to join the others in a gunfight, so having him there didn't seem right. we will see him again, soon!

shout out to Yoongi for the Haegeum video & photos! i was worried i would have to photoshop that scar onto a more recent photo in a few chapters, and he did all the work for me...😈😈😈

stream sos by balming tiger! thanks, bye!

tag list: @afangirllikeme-blog @angel-121 @artgukk @btsiguess-kpop @bts-ficreviews @che-er-ful @codeinebelle @curryshesus @dasexydevitt13 @giriiboyy @fringe-frank @illnevertrustmyselfagain @jalexad @kissme-ornot @leanimal90 @likeshatteredrainbowglass @m1sss1mp @mayeolorie @mgthecat @mushroom-main @mwitsmejk @openup-yourmind @pamzn @sleepilysworld @stocking221 @spookyminyunki @thelilbutifulthings @valhallawhispers 🗡️ comment or dm to be added!

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#ymc reviews #collateral ch 15 #my genie harrow

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cupofteaguk · 4 years ago

Text

switching my positions

summary: Fresh out of college, Min Yoongi makes a name for himself amongst his online fanbase as an artist who writes about the ins and outs of falling in love. But when he is signed to a record label, his producer insists that he reveal a public romantic relationship to weed off any potential scandals or dangerous assumptions about the source of his love songs. So who else should Yoongi turn to, but you: his manager—but more than that, his best friend and secret crush.

pairing: yoongi x fem!reader

genre: solo artist!yoongi, manager!y/n, fake dating au, friends to lovers au | fluff/angst

warnings: yoongi starts off as a musician on youtube but it’s not really highlighted for most of the story, kim seokjin is a Hot Music Executive who’ll take good care of his favorite boy, jungkook gets promoted from a cameraman to a bodyguard and i love to see it <3, nayeon + hoseok cameo as radio show hosts BECAUSE THIS STORY HAS SO MANY CHARACTERS I’M SORRY, IU shows up as a ~superstar~ because i love her so much, it’s a slow burn fic what can i say, mutual pining, actually an idiots to lovers plot tbh ????, recreational alcohol consumption, POV switches occasionally but i try to make it as obvious as possible as to what is going on, mentions of insecurity, there’s angst BUT IT’S A HAPPY ENDING !!!

word count: 40.1k

a/n: big big thank you to @gukyi for being my fic consultant for this story! she encouraged me and believed in this story more than I ever could (and contributed like 50% of the foundation that made this fic into what it is), and also reminded me that yes this is a fic so no it doesn’t require one hundred percent accuracy to the music industry despite every discord message i sent her falling somewhere along the lines of “how realistic is this scenario…” she was a very big support for this fic, and this story wouldn’t have existed without her!!

and regarding the word count… my hand slipped. I’ve clowned this fic a lot over the past month but I am really happy that this is done and so so excited for you all to read it. Pls enjoy!!!!!!! Xx

CHAPTER 1: THE DISCOVERY

You’re late.

Yoongi lets you know that much as you have to shove your way through a rather large crowd of people to reach him. When he turns away from his keyboard to glance down at you, your chest is heaving and your knees are bent in order for your hands to rest upon your thighs. There’s a plastic bag curled on your arm, the hard plastic of CD cases reflecting off the street lamps.

“Sorry, sorry!” You breathe out, giving yourself a few more seconds to catch your breath. Nothing more, nothing less, because there is a crowd of people around you, currently staring you down, counting down the seconds until the clock struck 8:00—but many people wondering just who were you to shove your way towards the front. “The printer wasn’t working, and do you realize how difficult it is to get your stupid picture into these cases?”

Yoongi scoffs, walking towards you and holding both his hands out. “Don’t call them stupid, you took the picture,” He hisses, taking the plastic bag from you and rummaging through the many CDs you had to make for him last minute. After ensuring that everything he had asked for is in this very bag, he softens up. “But thanks for getting these done for me.”

You finally are able to straighten up into a full standing position. “Not my fault you underestimated how many of your wonderful fans were going to show up.”

Yoongi reaches over and presses his index finger straight into your forehead for that comment. The force knocks you back a few steps, and Yoongi takes your few seconds of distractions to pull a phone out of his pocket. “Just go off to the side, dummy, my show starts soon.”

“Fine, fine,” You tease back, easy smile, but your hand goes up to take the phone from him. “Break a leg, Min Yoongi.”

Yoongi gives you a playful glare but he turns away from you to line up his CDs along the now-table next to his set. As soon as he starts placing CDs atop the surface, a small line of people step from the crowd—pointing to the CDs and holding out a stack of cash. Yoongi nods, takes the money, and hands over the CD. This happens a few more times before the line of people have died down. Yoongi looks over at the significantly less amount of cases at his table, and looks over at you, where he flashes a thumbs up.

As Yoongi steps up to his keyboard and microphone, the crowd around him starts to cheer. The claps echo through the gathering of people, enough to draw the attention of passersby who crane their heads to see who has attracted so many listeners.

Yoongi’s fingers curl around the microphone. “Hey guys, thank you all for coming out today.”

The crowd claps back in acknowledgement, a few of them giving their own shy nods and waves towards Yoongi—gestures that the boy responds with his own nods and gummy smiles.

His attention returns back to the next set of words he’ll speak into the microphone. “I got a couple covers and original songs for tonight, all requested by you guys—so let’s have some fun today.” His voice is deep, raspy and gentle, croaks slightly along the edges, but a perfect reflection of the soothing nature he brings to his audience.

And you are attune to every single second of it. Of course you are. You blend into the crowd but really your responsibilities for Yoongi lie far beyond just packaging CDs for him and dashing through hoards of people at the last fucking second to make your delivery. You further prove this further by logging into his phone and clicking into the first background music he’s produced for today’s show. Using the music as a guide, Yoongi starts to sing. His fingers dance across the keyboard to bring an extra sound to his performance—to give it that extra live element that his fans love.

You know that Yoongi has added these additional things over the months because he adores his fanbase and would likely do anything and everything he could to give them the best experience he could offer. After all, they’ve propelled him to this very spot—his own little corner of the bustling city streets amongst all the bars, shops, universities, street food stalls, and cafes.

As the music continues from one song to the next, and Yoongi shifts his focus from singing to rapping to the in betweens, you see his passion. You hear it in his voice, in the way his lines string together where it seems like the boy doesn’t require oxygen anymore. Months of these live shows, even longer years to get here—and the people around him only continue to watch him in awe. Just like he’s done since the beginning.

Min Yoongi started off his music career on Youtube, where he uploaded music covers with his own special beat thrown into the mix. Yoongi enjoyed music arrangement (still does), and used his videos as an opportunity to explore that hobby and share it with people who could also enjoy it. And enjoy it people did, as viewers started pouring in and his fanbase grew in the form of positive comments and increasing subscribers. From some videos, Yoongi had always teased the idea of original songs he had written in various notebooks that expressed the wide range of his emotions—overall all the trials and tribulations of growing up: the notion of love in all its forms. Normally, there was always a fear of an audience losing interest at the prospect of original songs, especially coming from someone who previously arranged already popular #1 hits.

But that never happened with Min Yoongi. His songwriting abilities became part of his brand—became his entire brand. Yoongi always wrote out love to be more than sappy pop songs or tragic heartbreak. He established himself as someone who seemed to speak from the mind of every single person he came into contact with. At least, that’s what his comment section claims.

In the beginning of his Youtube career, you found Yoongi’s online persona unusual and amusing to say the least, but it was always clouded with an air of sweetness and sensibility. After all, you had known him about a year before Youtube was even an option for him to pursue. The pair of you met in a general ed college class—big lecture halls and voices getting lost in the background as the professors’ voice boomed through speaker systems. Yoongi had asked to borrow a pencil, and the pair of you spent the rest of the class making side-handed comments about the lecture material. You sat next to each other for the rest of the semester and have been friends ever since.

So it’s not like Yoongi’s core characteristics have ever been anything other than caring, thoughtful, or loyal—he’s just never been outwardly expressive about those emotions. But Youtube changed everything: it’s made him a more vocal person, more open about his feelings as well as his need to share those feelings with the world.

The world responded positively—wrote in the comments that they would love to hear some of his original songs, that he had already provided just a small taste of his talent and left them an insatiable desire for more.

As soon as you and Yoongi graduated, his commitment to Youtube increased tenfold. With the previous obligations of assignments, papers, and research internships out of the way, it left more time for writing, for filming, for editing, for sharing. As his work levels increased, so did his subscribers. And so did the attention.

You’ll never forget the day his followers suggested live street performances in one of Yoongi’s neighboring cities—a city street more specifically that was famous for taking in street performances of all origins and talents, a place for him to show off his freestyling on a keyboard and finally meet his fans firsthand. The idea caught on so quickly and vividly that Yoongi was immediately attracted to the idea. He held his first performance just a few months ago, as a thank you present for reaching one million subscribers. If you had trouble materializing Yoongi’s musical success before, the first live performance and meet and greet Yoongi hosted did well to eradicate all those thoughts.

Hundreds of people showed up—standing alongside the shops, restaurants, food vendors, and cafes that already lined the streets, everyone intersecting to meet the artist who made them feel heard.

You still remember that day very vividly. Yoongi had been so nervous that day, had worked so hard to put together the perfect set for his fans. Obviously, though, he had nothing to worry about. Soon, one show turned into two, and just like the request for live performances and meet and greets, the question of monetary compensation became a topic of discussion amongst Yoongi’s fans. That’s where the question of albums came into play: a singular place for Yoongi to put his covers and original place—and charge money for it as well!

As per the request, eventually you and Yoongi decided that exclusive covers and original songs would be part of his album as a way to open up different modes of access rather than take away an individual’s general (free of charge) chance to view Yoongi’s content and just simply support without having to spend money. The introduction of his albums has been a very recent development, something added into Yoongi’s live performances after the tenth show and usually always sold out by the end of any aforementioned show. From what you’ve been able to see as of now, the albums have been a good addition.

In terms of Yoongi’s current career, you acknowledge that it has always been you and Yoongi—him staying up late for last minute song-writing sessions or recording or arranging a specific set of chords he had been holding off for weeks, or you arranging the time and date of his live shows and fulfilling requests to put songs on CDs and figure out how to market those in an era of streaming services. And if there’s anyone who knows that he has what it takes to get big—it’s you. After all, you would do anything for him. As you would have done from the moment you met him.

An hour later—after twenty songs and a swaying crowd around him singing along—the last song fades out and Yoongi pulls back from the microphone to catch his breath. Everyone else around him seems to hold onto their own, before Yoongi pulls himself back towards the mic to utter his last words for the night: “Thanks for coming out you guys. I really, really appreciate it.”

In the midst of the claps and cheers, Yoongi smiles towards the audience, turns around to address the circle of crowd that has formed around him.

As some of the crowd begins to disperse and some begin to linger for a potential meet and greet, Yoongi hastily remembers to return back to his mic for one last word to his audience. “And thank you guys so much for one million subs!”

You smile to yourself as members of the crowd acknowledge his thanks with thanks of their own. As you watch Yoongi start disassembling his equipment for the night, you simply stand where you’ve stood for the past hour, allowing the crowd to simmer past you towards their next destination for the time. You pocket Yoongi’s phone into your coat, waiting for a few minutes, before you slip around towards the front of the crowd. There, a boy stands in front of a tripod, and his fingers dance around to unclip his camera from the standee.

“You get the whole thing, Jungkook?” You ask with the tilt of your head.

Jungkook whirls towards you, bright eyes full of excitement as he holds the camera with both his hands now. He utters your name. “Oh shit, yeah I did. We’ll get to see how Yoongi’s mic set up works.” He taps to the cord that connects the mic on Yoongi’s clothes and on his piano into the camera.

You perk up at the sight of new technology. “Oooh, going fancy with us, I see JK. Very future.”

Jungkook’s grin widens, as it always does when talking about cameras and filmography. “Yes. Future…” He stretches out the word with the exact dips, curls, and croaks the way Squidward does in that one Spongebob episode, which makes you laugh. Jungkook clicks through the video of Yoongi’s set that he’s just recorded, before he clicks the screen off and lowers the camera. “It’ll probably be better if I wait until we get back to look through the footage. I’m sure Yoongi is anxious to get back too…” He looks up towards where Yoongi is supposed to be standing a few feet away, but the younger boy trails off. “Hey, look over there.” He jerks his chin towards Yoongi. “Some guy is talking to him. Do you know him?”

Furrowing your eyebrows in confusion—none of your college friends had texted saying they were going to come by and listen in on Yoongi’s set—you crane your own neck towards the direction Jungkook is gesturing to. Up ahead, Yoongi is indeed talking to some guy that you don’t recognize so of course it would peak your curiosity.

It’s a feeling that increases tenfold when Yoongi looks up, seems to find you from his search, and points across the space right at you. There’s even something in his eyes that beg you to walk over to him. This makes your frown deepen, because what the hell is this about?

Min Yoongi doesn’t allow for too much vocal expression that doesn’t involve the assistance of a keyboard or a music arrangement, but he speaks into the microphone without thinking. “And thank you guys so much for one million subs!” His smile widens as the crowd responds with the claps and cheers of their own—all responding to him and communicating with him. This is it, this is what makes coming out to do these shows all worth it. Obviously there’s a thrill he gets from being in front of a camera and another thrill from uploading a video that people can access from all over the world. But to see the faces of the people who have left positive comments underneath those aforementioned videos… now that’s a completely different kind of feeling he didn’t think he would enjoy so much.

So Yoongi steps away from the mic to put away his equipment for the day. He only gets so far as to open the case for his microphone and mic holder before he’s hearing his name behind him. Turning around, he is faced with a few unfamiliar and a few familiar fans that are asking him for pictures and a short conversation. He indulges them, of course he does, and he signs a few albums while he’s at it.

It’s like you always teased him about: he really is a softie for his fans.

The fan interactions only last for a few minutes, before another voice comes in—it’s a deeper voice and radiates so much confidence and presence that it actually halts the next fan from trying to finish a conversation with Yoongi. All gazes turn towards the source of the voice: it’s a tall man with broad shoulders, pointy boots and a long coat that drapes down, hands stuffed into the pocket of that very coat. He looks like a model.

The man gives an apologetic smile. “Sorry for interrupting, but I need to request a chat with Mr. Min and am in a bit of a hurry. Do you mind if I cut in for a moment?”

The fan gives a weak smile. “N-No problem.”

Yoongi gives his own small smile. “Sorry about that. Oh, here.” He quickly makes a grab for the CD in her hesitant hands, signing his name across the sleek surface. “Thanks for coming by. Have a good rest of the night.”

Her smile brightens. “Thank you so much!” With a quick little bow, she runs off towards her friends.

This leaves Yoongi alone with the stranger. “What can I help you with?”

The stranger extends his arm. “Mr. Min, I’m Kim Seokjin. I’m a music executive. Nice to meet you.”

Music executive. These two words pique Yoongi’s interest. Just enough. “Wow, uh, nice to meet you sir.” Yoongi can’t help but lower his head slightly in a small bow as he returns Kim Seokjin’s handshake.

Seokjin waves him off. “Oh, no need to be so formal Mr. Min. I just thought that I should finally come by to introduce myself. I’ve been following your Youtube channel for awhile and think that you’re extremely talented, very capable to be a recording artist, in fact.”

Yoongi blinks in surprise, completely taken aback by the direction of this conversation. When he came out for his show today, having a conversation with a whole ass music executive hadn’t been on the list of things he was expecting. Of course, it was always a dream of his to be a recording artist. But he thought something like that would always just remain a dream. “T-Thank you.”

Seokjin continues. “Honestly, this is the third live performance of yours that I attended. Artists like you who radiate lots of passion and dedication both through the screen and on a stage are pretty rare. But your confidence and presence is quite admirable.”

At that, Yoongi can’t help but laugh a little. He scratches the back of his neck. “Well, I wouldn’t call this a stage, Mr. Kim, it’s just a small street corner.”

Seokjin laughs. “Fair enough—but you treat this little street corner like a stage and I find that cool. It appears that that’s what a lot of your fans think as well.” He pauses. “Mr. Min,” He starts up again after a moment. “Have you ever considered becoming a recording artist? Signing with a music label, releasing music and being able to reach millions of people? Having concerts in venues all over the world?”

At the question, Yoongi utters a scoff of disbelief. “I have,” He acknowledges after a few minutes. “Having this youtube channel and these street performances is amazing…”

“Of course,” Seokjin replies with a nod.

“But sometimes I do wonder what it would be like to do more than that. So, to answer your question, I have thought about it before. Many times, in fact.”

Seokjin nods again. “What if I told you that I was interested in signing you, Mr. Min?”

Yoongi stares at that, stares and stares with unblinking eyes, one hundred percent of his attention on the man standing in front of him—waiting for the signs, waiting to see the laugh or the glint that gives away his prankster tendencies. But none of those things come. Seokjin just stares right back, challenging him to question him and agree to his claim.

But Yoongi is younger, more naive, so of course he falls for it. “Why would you want to sign me?”

Seokjin grins. “Mr. Min, I like to think I’m pretty good at spotting talented people who have a fully fledged career ahead of them—which is something my gut is telling me that you can do. And don’t worry, it’s not just the gut feeling I have. Like I mentioned, I’ve been keeping tabs on you for a few months and I’ve seen the numbers and the turn out. You clearly have what it takes to bring fans in, keep them, and create events that’ll drive their attention—and I want to help you make an opportunity out of that.”

Yoongi hears the words of the older man, he really does, but he still cannot help the feeling of his head spinning at all the positive things Kim Seokjin says to him. Not only that he believes Yoongi has what it takes to make it, but that Yoongi has the concrete numbers to back that up. He is offering Yoongi an opportunity—an opportunity that seemed much too big for his youtube channel to birth, an opportunity that he had always just written off as nothing more than a dream. Yet for Seokjin to say that it could be more than that? And for all of this to happen on a normal performance night?

Was Yoongi about to faint right now or what.

Seokjin takes in Yoongi’s stunned silence and smiles. “I understand that this could be a lot to take in. No worries. I have a card for you to take—so call me when you make up your mind, alright?” He rummages into the pocket of his coat before producing a business card. The name KSJ RECORDS is printed on the surface, shiny lettering in sleek font.

Yoongi takes it wordlessly.

“By the way, do you have a manager?” Seokjin asks. “You can have them reach out to me if that’ll make it easier.”

Yoongi stays quiet for a moment. He doesn’t have a manager; he never really saw the need for one if his schedule was as simple as it was. After all, it was more than enough for him to handle with you—!

His mind explodes, as if someone had just plugged it into an outlet. His gaze flickers to you, where he sees you now standing just a few feet away next to Jungkook. You’re already staring back at him, but your head tilts slightly as if you could read his internal struggle. Before Yoongi can even figure why he’s looking at you, his body seems to act on its own. His arm raises, finger pointing straight at you. “She’s over there.”

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, seeming to read something in his gaze that even Yoongi couldn’t figure out. Still, you walk over to them. “What’s going on?”

Seokjin acts first, turning towards you and giving you a nod in greeting. “Hi there, I’m Kim Seokjin. Yoongi says you’re his manager, is that correct?”

You blink, caught off guard by the question because you definitely were not Yoongi’s manager. He knows that you know this. You give Yoongi another look, and his eyes widen at you, poorly attempting to transmit a singular message: please.

You understand immediately, of course you do (you’re his best friend), as you turn back to look at Seokjin. “I am, it’s nice to meet you.”

The pair of you shake hands. “I was just telling Mr. Min over there that I was interested in signing him to my company. I’m a music executive for KSJ records, and think that he would make a great addition to the team.”

It takes you a second to process the news, but you do so quicker and much more graceful than Yoongi could ever hope to do. “Oh my gosh, are you serious?” You turn to look at him, bright-eyed. “Yoongi, that’s amazing!”

“He hasn’t made a decision yet,” Seokjin continues to explain. “I don’t blame him, it’s a lot to process. I just told him that he could have you call me once he made up his mind. Then, contracts could be drawn up.” He pauses for a moment, then seems to scramble on something when you don’t say anything immediately. “Of course, you would remain his manager. I’m sure that he’s gotten as far as he has with your help. I would want you part of Mr. Min’s team regardless.” Seokjin composes himself quickly afterwards. “Like I said, take some time to come to a decision and let me know. Let me give you my card as well.” He mirrors his previous movement at Yoongi towards you now until you have his business card between your fingers.

“W-Well,” You start, lowering the card and offering up your hand. “Thank you so much for coming by, Mr. Kim. We’ll be sure to send you a response soon.”

Seokjin takes your hand carefully, giving it a firm shake. “I look forward to hearing from you.” He turns to Yoongi. “And I hope we’ll be able to work together, Mr. Min.”

Yoongi blinks, but he snaps himself out long enough to return Seokjin’s handshake. “Y-Yes…” He replies, still feeling completely starstruck by what the fuck this encounter had just been. “T-Thank you for stopping by…” He trails off. He stays quiet as he watches Seokjin give one last departing word before he’s turning around and making his way down the street of the city.

When he regains some of his attention back, he turns to find that you’re already staring at him with an unreadable expression across your face. “Let’s head back,” You say at least, holding up the business card. “We have a lot to talk about.”

“No way,” Jungkook utters, completely shocked as he practically throws himself onto the couch in the living room. His camera equipment has been set down near the door, too much exhaustion present in its owner for the trudge back into his room. “You got casted today? That’s incredible, hyung!”

“I-I didn’t even realize what was going on,” Yoongi grumbles back, crossing his arms over his chest. “I still wonder if that moment even happened or if I conjured it up in a strange fever dream.”

You raise your hand slightly. “I was there. Can confirm that it was real.” You dig the business card out of your pocket and stare down at it.

Jungkook hikes himself deeper into the couch as he turns on his phone to start scrolling. “I gotta know who this guy is. Kim Seokjin you said? Of KSJ records?”

“Yeah, KSJ records,” Yoongi replies, looking down at his own business card. “He seemed pretty legit.”

A whistle from Jungkook confirms that. “Yeah, he’s definitely real. And look at that!” Jungkook turns the phone over to expose the photographs of Seokjin. “Used to be a singer as well. I bet he knows a lot about the industry.”

Yoongi nods. “He did seem nice.”

“So, does that mean you’re planning to meet up with him? Get signed and all that jazz?”

“All that jazz?” Yoongi echoes, but he shakes his head before he could go off on that tangent. “But honestly? Yeah, I’m thinking about it. I really do love youtube and do want to continue that, but I just feel like there’s more for me to explore with the right connections.”

Jungkook grins. “Wow, I can’t believe my roommate is gonna be famous.” He says the last word with a bite of curl in his tone, flashing a teasing smile when Yoongi merely glares in embarrassment. Jungkook’s eyes flicker further back towards where you are standing in the apartment, calling your name to get your attention. “What do you think of the idea, Miss. Manager?”

You perk up at that. “Before I get into my answer—when did I suddenly become your manager? I don’t remember us ever having that conversation.” You’re situated in the kitchen, drumming one hand on the counter and using the other hand to stir some last night boxed mac and cheese.

Yoongi coughs at your observation, sinking himself further down into the couch. “I didn’t want Seokjin to think I was an idiot or something for not having a manager. But when I do officially make up my mind…” He angles his head to stare over at you. “You’ll do it for me, right? You’ll actually be my manager?”

You frown, hesitant. “You’re serious about asking me? I don’t know anything about being a manager though.”

Yoongi almost pouts at that, sitting up so he can whirl around completely on the couch to face you. “But you know me and my music career almost better than anyone! And you graduated with a business degree, what do you mean you don’t know anything about being a manager?”

You flush hotly at that. “It was just a general business degree, Yoongi, it seems like what you need to make it big is a legit artist manager! Someone who will actually know how to schedule your tour dates or keep up with your public image and know exactly how to market you to the general public. You really want me doing that for you?”

Yoongi gaps at that. “Okay, but who’s the one who literally schedules my street performances and helps me with editing my videos?”

“Jungkook does some of the editing too,” You grumble underneath your breath.

“Yah! Stop selling yourself short!” Yoongi interjects, pointing at you accusingly. He does, however, lower his finger long enough to turn and address his roommate. “Not that you don’t help out with any of the editing, Jungkook…”

Jungkook waves him off. “I know where my talents lie.”

Yoongi turns back to you. “Besides, Seokjin acknowledged that you and I basically come as a packaged deal. He saw that you were working just as hard to get me my gigs.”

You give him a one-shouldered shrug, the hesitation still laced in your tone. “I don’t know Yoongi. I just don’t want to fuck up and jeopardize your shot.”

Yoongi’s attention is one hundred percent focused on you now, so much so that he has made his way into the kitchen and has come so close that he can switch off the stove that held the macaroni and cheese. “Hey, listen, the only reason I’ve even been given a shot was thanks to you. You work just as hard as me to keep my channel up and running—and you already have another job on the side, so you don’t have to do anything for me. But you do.” He plants both his hands on your shoulders and twists you around. “Would you be my manager? Please? I seriously don’t trust anyone else enough to do this for me.”

You sigh, staring down Yoongi as tensely as he’s staring you down. He sees the flicker of continuing hesitation in your eyes, and responds with just tightening his grip on your shoulders—trying to convey as much pleading as he could to you. Honestly, if you rejected his request, he knows that he wouldn’t be able to do this without you.

So when you seem to realize that he won’t give up, you sigh and look down for a moment. “Damn that I can never say no to you, Min Yoongi.”

Hearing those words of confirmation, Yoongi’s gaze hyper focuses on you. Even when you look back over at him, you don’t look away and that merely confirms the unspoken question of your participation.

When he realizes that you aren’t going to outright reject him, and that you’re actually on board for him, Yoongi’s face lights up as he immediately envelops you into a hug. “Thank you! Thank you—wow, that means a lot to me.”

You suck in a breath at his words, tensing slightly at his words, but you eventually learn to relax long enough to pat him slowly on the back to return his hug. “Don’t thank me yet,” You grumble into his shoulder. “We haven’t even had a meeting. I may not be able to negotiate as well as you think I can.”

Yoongi shakes his head at that, tightening his hold on you. From his close proximity to you, he doesn’t notice the way your breath seems to shake and your heart seems to quicken. “It doesn’t matter,” He reassures, finally backing off. “I don’t care if you don’t know how to do all those fancy manager things. Like I said, you’re the only one I could trust to do this.”

You stare at Yoongi for a few more seconds before you sigh in defeat, knowing that you’ve just put all your thoughts and feelings on the table for him to react to. “Alright then,” You say, placing one of your hands across your chest and onto your shoulder—atop his hand still lingering. “I’ll make the call tomorrow then.”

Yoongi nods. “Thank you.”

There’s a brief silence that covers the pair of you, before a voice rings from the living room. “Do you mind bringing the mac and cheese over here?”

CHAPTER 2: THE REQUEST

One year later, and you learn that the crowds from Yoongi’s street performances are nothing in comparison to this. This—overwhelming and unmatched in all degrees, the screams and the cries and the shoves, all of it echoes around you just as it has for the past few months. Surprisingly, you’ve always been okay with being a little more firm if the situation called for such and today is absolutely no exception.

“Off,” You say gently, tapping an outstretched hand trying to get past you and grab at the person behind you.

The girl you’ve intercepted jerks her hand back as if you’ve burned her, her eyes wide and vaguely hurt as if you’ve singled her out specifically from this crowd. Rather, it’s more along the lines of keeping your client safe and trying to avoid the incident from last week. You block the memory out for the time being.

You feel a hot breath at your ear. “If you make my fans cry, I swear—!”

“Try to be less desirable then,” You bite back over your shoulder, holding up your hand when another fan tries to shove a sharpie past you. “Sorry, but we’re in a bit of a rush,” You say to the boy. “Come to the next concert—we’ll have a meet and greet then too.”

The boy deflates, but that expression only lasts for a second before he seems to brighten slightly at whatever has just occurred behind you. Stealing a glance, you realize it’s because Min Yoongi has just thrown him an apologetic wink.

The car appears in view a lot quicker than you had been anticipating, which is good as you muster all your energy to pull the handle that opens the car door. You step off to the side, further cutting off the fans who are trying to keep Yoongi from entering the vehicle. Soon enough, a taller and more dominating figure appears next to you as Yoongi manages to slide his way into the back seat. You and Jungkook exchange a nod—you had been in the front of Yoongi’s protection squad and he had been in the back, and the arrangement continues to work wonders. As long as Yoongi doesn’t lose a whole sleeve (like last time) then you would consider this departure a success.

Jungkook tilts his head towards the still opened car door, allowing you to enter the car yourself. As soon as you’re settled, Jungkook leans forward to join you. He slides his way into the seat all the way in the back of the car. Closing the door behind him, you signal Taehyung to take off with a nod into the rearview mirror.

The screams and calls of Yoongi’s name are loud, and pass through the metal structure of the car as if it is nothing. But you know that the boy doesn’t mind, and that he lives and breathes moments like these as he has for the past few months.

It’s crazy to think how much a year could change, after you and Yoongi decided to meet up with Seokjin to discuss how Yoongi was going to be signed under KSJ records. Seokjin had talked about the big plans he had in pushing Yoongi towards the spotlight—and goals like an album, a concert, and meet-and-greets around the country had been promised for Yoongi’s first year.

And of course, Yoongi was completely enchanted by the promises. Just one final ‘of course’ confirmation to have you as his manager, and Yoongi was signing on the dotted line. Truth be told, you didn’t know what KSJ records would have in store for Yoongi—how long that glimmer of passion would remain in the boy’s eyes.

A year later, and you acknowledge that you might have underestimated Kim Seokjin. As a former performer, he knew all the ins and outs of the music industry and his well established connections as well as his good ear for good music meant that Yoongi was allowing his music to get the treatment it deserved. Pair that with Yoongi’s growing popularity on Youtube, and it all equates to an EP that debuts with tens of thousands of copies sold within the first week. The EP itself hadn’t been much—just six songs that contained a mix of old songs and new songs, but all written by Yoongi. His previous (although small) experience with producing and arrangement allowed him constant access into the various studios at KSJ records, where he learned from all the other producers on how to make good music.

The hands-on, personal touch Seokjin allowed Yoongi to deliver in his music had been a good call and a large contributor to the success of the EP. You recall fans praising the album and talking about how it matched Yoongi’s youtube aesthetic perfectly, but just with the higher quality element that top notch equipment could bring to music.

In a way, the current atmosphere of concerts and meet-and-greets is just a way to celebrate the success of Yoongi’s music career launching off into the stratosphere.

“Hey.” There’s a gentle tap against your head, and you jump before turning to face Yoongi in the seat next to you. “You good?”

You blink, bringing your finger up to brush the hair out of your face. “Yeah, just spaced out.”

“Cool. I thought you might have fallen asleep.”

“If anyone should have fallen asleep by now, it’s you,” You point out. “I think that today’s meet-and-greet was the largest one you’ve had so far.”

“Don’t worry,” Yoongi says. “I have every intention of following asleep as soon as I fall into bed. Plus, don’t let me hold a pen for the next week—I think my wrist almost fell off.”

You laugh, angling yourself so you can face him. “But you love it, don’t you?”

Yoongi’s gaze softens as he lets your question sink in. “Course I do. I never realized how cool it would be to have an audience sing my lyrics back to you. More than that, it was all lyrics I used to write in the apartment, or in between lectures back at college, or late into the night on my phone… back when the idea of all this was just a dream.” He pivots his body towards you, eyes bright as the passion for his current place in life seems to have gotten him hyped up again. “You know, during the meet and greet, this girl came up to me all confidently and told me that my album got her through a tough time. I think that’s when it really hit me that this was all happening.”

The corner of your lips quirk up into a smile. “Oh yeah, I actually do remember you writing those songs and you showing me the lyrics. You speak from the heart, and your fans understand that. Helps that you’re pretty cute too. Anyone with eyes could see that.” As soon as those words escape your lips, you almost want to chide yourself and immediately throw yourself out of the car. Why would you say something like that—why would you openly admit to Yoongi’s cuteness? Your face grows warm at the realization, leaving you to hope that Yoongi won’t notice your flustered state.

Yoongi doesn’t notice. He’s too busy gawking at your observation, too busy tearing his gaze away from you to stare firmly out of the car window.

Jungkook simply shifts his gaze between the two of you.

In the midst of the silence, you fish out your phone and start scrolling through your social media pages. Due to the third party cookie ads that follow you around, you immediately notice news of Yoongi’s concert of the day has started hitting various news sites—most articles praising Yoongi on his song selections and live adaptations of his music to suit the concert style more. Reading these articles leave you unable to stop the grin, because Yoongi deserves this so fucking much that you could have sworn your heart sings a little as you continue reading.

It’s a moment that lasts for only a couple of seconds, as recommended articles start coming up that do well in setting up the gray cloud. With the increased amount of attention that comes from being a newly top rated best selling album artist, so does the intrusion into personal life that follows—the dark side of the media, the side that just loves to stick its nose in places it does not belong. It’s something that you had been seeing since Yoongi’s youtube account hit five hundred thousand, but at the time these kinds of questions were more dark shadows or curious inquiries taken in the form of casual comments.

Now, those questions have become much more normalized, as a common curiosity seems to have taken form from all these drama articles: was Min Yoongi dating anyone? And even better: who is Min Yoongi writing all his love songs for?

As if love was limited to romantic relationships, and wasn’t a feeling one could recreate from other love songs or romantic comedies. Or just the feelings of growing up.

“We’re here!” Taehyung calls from the front seat, as you jump up from your train of thought. Refocusing on your surroundings, you realize that you’ve made it into the parking lot of the hotel.

You sigh, regathering your belongings that have moved around during the drive. “Thanks, Taehyung.”

“Hey.” Taehyung utters for you to come closer to him as soon as the pair of you step out of the car. He jerks toward Yoongi, who is exiting from his side of the car before quickly side-stepping to let Jungkook come out as well. “Was that flirting back there?”

You protest hotly at once, your hand raising up and wave side-to-side frantically in complete denial. “N-No, it wasn’t—!”

“Okay, good,” Taehyung interrupts, leaning back to stuff his hands into his pants pockets. “Because if that was the case I think we would have had to re-evaluate your definition of flirting—!”

“Will you stop?” You squeak.

“Is everything okay?” Yoongi asks, having rounded around the car to stare over at you and Taehyung.

You whirl around quickly, tightening up your expression once more to make sure that any remnants of your conversation with Taehyung would be undetected. “Yep!” You say immediately. “Everything is fine. Let’s get going, yeah?” You allow Jungkook to lead the four of you out of the parking lot and into the elevator that’ll take you to the main floor of the hotel room. Yoongi has to slip on a pair of glasses and a baseball cap, just on the off chance that a fan might be staying in the same room—it happened a few stops ago—before the four of you are making your way through the lobby. The four of you have reserved four separate rooms for your overnight stay in the city, rooms that you have already checked into earlier that day, so it feels nice to just make your way to the elevator and select the correct floor.

Taehyung decides to check in first for the night, waving you all off and congratulating Yoongi on another well done performance. Jungkook lingers around as you make your way to Yoongi’s room next.

“Thanks for walking me,” Yoongi says, sliding the key card into the slot and pulling out when he hears the beep of confirmation on his door.

Jungkook flashes him a thumbs up. “Good show today. Now get some rest.”

Yoongi nods, just about to close the door when you make a sudden noise from the back of your throat. “OH!” You call out suddenly, startling both boys as you reach your arm out suddenly to prevent Yoongi from closing the door. He had been so close too. “Sorry, I just realized. Seokjin sent me an email of some deadlines he wanted me to go over with you. Your sleep is gonna have to be put on hold.”

Yoongi grumbles something under his breath.

You turn to look at Jungkook. “We’ll be fine, Jungkook, go rest up—you deserve it.”

Jungkook nods, grinning at Yoongi. “See you guys around.”

“No fair…” Yoongi pouts as he watches Jungkook stroll down the hall to reach his hotel room. “Why do they get to rest and I don’t? I’m so tired…”

“Well, this is the price of fame,” You retort with the shrug of your shoulders. “You have your face the paparazzi want to see, and the name that sells the albums. Naturally, it means you just have to put in more work than everyone else.”

Yoongi runs a hand through his hair, still pouting but less so as he opens the door once more for the both of you to enter. “When you put it that way…”

You giggle behind him. “For the fans, Min Yoongi.”

You immediately task yourself with throwing yourself atop his bed, surprisingly put together despite the fact that you had checked everyone in earlier that day. You would have assumed he would have taken a nap. But the bed doesn’t look slept in at all.

Yoongi notices your observation immediately. “I was too nervous to fall asleep earlier today,” He provides, taking a seat on the couch on the other side of the room. “So what was it that Seokjin needed you to go over with me?”

“It’s short, I promise,” You reassure, pulling out the iPhone from your pocket. As soon as you unlock the device, you’re faced with the articles you had previously been looking up—the ones about Yoongi’s dating life. Without meaning to, you sigh heavily at the sight.

Yoongi quirks an eyebrow. “What’s up?”

You jerk up. “Oh, no, nothing sorry. I just…” You hold the phone up for Yoongi to see. “These articles about you and your dating life—it’s getting worse.”

“Oh.” Yoongi’s fingers fiddle with each other. “Yeah, I’ve seen a few of those floating around too. Honestly, for someone who writes a lot of songs about love, these curiosities don’t really surprise me. I wish that they wouldn’t be so intrusive.”

“Unfortunately, people always think it’s their right to know who these love songs are for.” You spare him a quick glance, only to realize that he’s already staring at you. Hastily, you look back down. “If the songs are even for anyone, that is.”

Yoongi is quiet for a moment. “Right.”

“Anyways…” You exit your internet app, tapping through until Seokjin’s email comes up. “Seokjin just wants to know your progress on the new songs. He’s trying to gauge your progress so he can see whether or not to arrange studio time for you to start recording.”

The new songs—it’s a reference to Seokjin’s next plan for Yoongi’s career. With the launch of the EP and the current success that it has been harboring, it makes sense that the next step would be to launch a full-length album. Technically it could be called a repackage, since the album would most likely feature a few songs from the EP and cover the rest of the spots with new music.

But aforementioned new music takes time to write, not that Yoongi ever had a problem with writing music. That has always been second nature for him—and was something he could do anywhere so long as he had a functioning, conscious mind. It was all just a matter of whether or not he could create the required number of actual songs within the scheduled deadline. With those higher expectations, time definitely plays the biggest issue and it makes sense if Yoongi couldn’t write proper songs given the current circumstances.

Nonetheless, Yoongi nods at the question. “I actually have rough drafts of most of the songs, if that was okay with Seokjin. We could probably schedule some meetings to polish up the writing, since a lot of them are still in the beginning stage.”

You blink at his answer, surprised by his response. You had been expecting one, or maybe two songs to be written out but to have all eight songs written out? “W-Wow…” You utter. “You wrote so many songs so quickly.”

Yoongi shrugs, but he does look a little prideful at your words. You don’t notice his lingering gaze. “I have a lot to reflect on, what can I say.”

“I-I mean,” You stammer, not really hearing his response. “I could schedule the meeting with Seokjin, but if he knows that you have everything basically done, he’ll probably be okay with giving you a little more time to polish up your work yourself.”

Yoongi ponders this, but he shakes his head. “No, go ahead and schedule the meeting. It’s actually nice having extra hands in the music.”

You nod. “Alright then, I’ll go and do that. I think I should also just go over tomorrow’s schedule with you.” Quickly, you relay the time details of what tomorrow’s day will look like since you’re flying out for another show the next morning. You give him some details about the stage, how many people are going, and how many people he will be meeting afterwards. It’s a standard review conversation, one of the many that you’ve had with Yoongi over the year. “And… that should be it,” You wrap up as soon as you’ve reviewed the day. Looking over the schedule once more, you cannot help but sigh once more.

“What is it this time?” Yoongi asks from the side.

“Oh, no nothing!” You reassure with a promising smile. “Just another busy day.”

Yoongi gives you a grin, but you can see the exhaustion clinging to the corner of his eyes. “There’s only a few more stops left of the concert—what happened to you being positive rock?”

At that, you laugh nervously. “Sorry, sorry. You’re right.” You clench a fist in front of him and pump it up to showcase a display of energy. “Another day of excitement and one more day towards fulfilling your dreams!” You lower your fist and give him a slightly dryer look. “How was that?”

“I could have done without the look at the end, but it’ll do, I guess.” Yoongi stands up from his place on the couch and throws himself atop his bed. His head ends up near you, his back on the mattress, and his feet dangling off the side. “There’s only a few stops left of the tour, and for some people this is their first time seeing me live. And for other people, maybe they saw me back when I would perform on the streets, so in that case it’s their first time seeing me perform on a stage and everything!” He lifts one of his hands up into his field of view. “Either way, I just want to do the best I can for the people that take time out to come see me and support me. Because I owe them everything—I owe them more than what I can give them.”

You don’t say anything to that. What could you say, anyways? Instead, you reach over and run your fingers through his hair. After a second, you retract your hand. You shouldn’t let yourself linger for too long anyways. “It’s late,” You say, a tone of finality in your voice. “I should head to my room. I’ll make sure to let Seokjin know your update.” You slide off the bed into a standing position. “You should get some rest.” You turn to him. “You may not think you can pay back your fans, but you probably help them out every single day. The same way they help you out too.”

Yoongi tilts his head back to see you. Upside down, but still look at you nonetheless. He grins. “There’s that positive energy I was looking for. Thanks.”

You laugh, already making your way towards his hotel room door. “Thank me by giving me another kickass performance tomorrow. Makes my job a whole lot easier.”

The following weeks of concert tours pass by without a hitch. To Yoongi, any event now that doesn’t end up with a torn sleeve and nail scratches up and down his arm is a success. And you haven’t freaked out for the remaining dates as you had when security had been at its worst—so he’d consider that the icing on top of the cake. Although he’s glad to finally be be home and be anchored to his own bed and be in his own space for the first time in months, he knows that his first concert experience to celebrate his first EP had truly been a memorable undertaking.

And it had been more successful than anyone at KSJ records could have predicted. At least, that’s what Seokjin tells him when Yoongi arrives at the studio the following day to start going through the process of polishing up his song lyrics.

“It seems that you really enjoyed yourself throughout the tour,” Seokjin remarks as Yoongi steps into the former’s office. Seokjin is scrolling through some articles on his laptop. He closes it as Yoongi takes a seat and regards the younger boy with a look of curiosity and wonder. “How was it?”

Yoongi brightens. “So much fun. I didn’t realize how cool it would feel to have audience members sing song lyrics right back at me, but that was probably my favorite moment.”

“Ah, of course, first time for everything as they always say.” Seokjin folds his fingers atop one another. “And how was your team?” He says your name, given that you are Yoongi’s manager. “Along with Jungkook and Taehyung? I wish I could have given you more people, but we didn’t know how crazy moving you around was going to be.”

Yoongi nods. “I mean… it was fine. Jungkook was really good.” He can’t help but think that Jungkook should have been good—after all, Yoongi is the reason why Jungkook has been getting safe with job security recently. “And Taehyung too. I think having the small team was good because we ended up all getting really connected and had this whole system in place after a few stops.”

“I heard a fan tore your sleeve,” Seokjin points out, looking mildly concerned. “How did that go?”

“Oh, it was just a one time thing,” Yoongi tries to brush off with the wave of his hand. He thinks of you, because of course he does. He mentions you. “She would tap the fans who were getting too close. It was reassuring, honestly.”

“That’s good to hear,” Seokjin says. “And I’ve heard that you’ve been making a lot of headway with the upcoming album. So we’re definitely gonna set some time for us to go through the lyrics and structure what you’ve come up with already. But I did want to go over something with you first—the main reason I called you in, actually.”

Yoongi tilts his head. “Okay, what’s up?”

Seokjin re-opens his laptop, and clicks through a few links before he’s pivoting the laptop in a 180 degree motion so Yoongi can see the screen. At once, he’s faced with several articles, all centering around the topic that has been haunting him since the beginning of his concert journey. He gets a flashback to one of the nights you came into his hotel room to discuss scheduling, and how you had mentioned this particular topic showing up more and more.

Yoongi had known it was becoming a problem. He just didn’t think it was something that required urgent discussion.

“As I’m sure you’re aware, your growing popularity means that people are developing a growing interest in your relationship. Since you are labeled specifically as a song-writer who writes songs about growing up, struggles, and love, this only heightens people’s curiosity.”

Yoongi allows Seokjin to continue talking, as he moves forward in his chair to actually scroll through one of the articles Seokjin has pulled up. It’s entitled: UP AND COMING SINGER SONGWRITER MIN YOONGI IS DEFINITELY IN A RELATIONSHIP, BUT WITH WHO? As he scrolls down, there’s several people that are listed as potential girlfriends to Yoongi’s partnership—some people he does not know at all, some people he has only seen once.

You’re on the list too, and Yoongi’s eyes widen when he identifies your picture amongst the lot. He zeroes in on the description underneath the simple title: Yoongi’s manager? Although most manager and artist relationships are platonic, we can’t leave this one out! Fans have tracked down Min Yoongi’s current manager as an old assistant from Min Yoongi’s youtube days, so there’s definitely some history between them!

“This article has been blowing up. You may or may not know, but people making assumptions about your relationship status could be dangerous. Since you write songs about relationships, it leaves a lot of room for error and scandals, especially if news sites decide to publish something or someone else with bad intentions try to claim you wrote a song about them. Or something else of the sort.”

Yoongi nods slowly at that, not entirely understanding what direction Seokjin is going with his build up. It makes sense though. Leaving Yoongi out in the open like this could be dangerous for his career. “S-So, what ideas do you have to combat that?”

“I’ve been thinking about this in the recent weeks you’ve been on tour,” Seokjin says quietly, pressing his hands together. “I think that we should push your relationship status into the public—get you a girlfriend to maintain your ‘pure romantic heart’ reputation so it looks like you’re writing love songs solely for your girlfriend.”

It takes a second for the words to sink in. “Aaaaah,” Yoongi finally says, but his voice sounds far away all of a sudden, the further time seems to creep on. Sure, he’s seen this concept of surface relationships between in film and television—and the idea of it makes some sense. For someone whose best songs were related to moments of being in love, surely most people would suspect that the inspiration for those songs had to come from somewhere. If Yoongi came out to admit his lack of relationship experience, would people approve of that? Or would they think he was lying?

In that regard then, it makes sense that Seokjin would come up with the idea. But faking a relationship for the sake of faking a relationship has never been something Yoongi thought he would ever have to go through.

Mainly because first of all—who would play Yoongi’s girlfriend?

Now, Yoongi isn’t the worst actor in the world. But he can be stiff at times, and if Seokjin wants to push a relationship status into the public eye then Yoongi imagines that this girlfriend would be someone Yoongi felt the most natural around. Someone he wouldn’t mind pretending to be in a relationship with.

Would Yoongi even get a say in the matter? Or would Yoongi’s approval be the only requirement before Seokjin went off to find a girlfriend for Yoongi himself?

“D-Did you have someone in mind?” Yoongi finds himself asking instead.

Seokjin hums, tapping his chin with his finger. “Not at the moment. I just wanted to bring it up with you in case you had an idea for someone.” Mindlessly, he reaches to take back the laptop and flip it back towards him. This exposes him to the article Yoongi had been previously scrolling through—one where pictures of you are plastered over the current screen.

At the sight, Seokjin wavers slightly, staring down your pictures and furrowing his eyebrows. Yoongi looks over, noticing immediately that the laptop (and the pictures of you from that article) is no longer right in front of him but rather in front of Seokjin instead. When he glances over at Seokjin, he finds the older man lost in thought, running the side of his finger across his lip. Back and forth, clearly pondering something.

“Yes…” Seokjin says after a moment. “That could work, actually.” He looks across the desk at Yoongi. “Good idea, Yoongi. I think originally, I would have said no, but these pictures and this description actually makes a valid point.”

Yoongi blinks, not really connecting the dots right away. “Uh, sorry, Seokjin, but I’m not really following…”

Seokjin makes a noise, gesturing to his laptop screen that he has just gotten back from Yoongi. “You were suggesting Y/N as your fake girlfriend, weren’t you? I’m assuming that’s why you stopped on these pictures. My initial thought was that it probably wouldn’t work, but actually considering your history with each other it seems like this could be the most likely case scenario.”

It takes another second for the information to fully process. You. His fake girlfriend. Seokjin misunderstanding that unintentionally stopping on your pictures meant that Yoongi was trying to convey some sort of message.

You—playing the role of his fake girlfriend, the ‘supposed’ inspiration for all his music. It would be funny if it wasn’t so ironic.

It would be funny if you didn’t inspire all of his music—but you do. And Yoongi isn’t laughing.

He should say something. He knows that it would make sense, as Seokjin is claiming, but it would also potentially inch him towards a can of worms he has been so sure would never see the sunlight. More than that, having you as his fake girlfriend would bring him the closest he has ever been to feeling hopeful.

He really should say something.

But for some reason, the words don’t come out. He just lets Seokjin believe his ingenious plan. “Yes, yes!” Seokjin continues after the many moments of silence that lapse between the two of you. “This could work actually. You guys have known each other for years, and older fans of yours from the youtube days would definitely recognize Y/N. That way, the announcement of your relationship wouldn’t seem entirely out of line, especially if we say that you guys have been dating for years. It also makes sense that we could say you becoming Yoongi’s ‘manager’ was always part of a cover up—after all, that’s what they did in that movie That Thing You Do…”

The more Seokjin drones on and on about his plan, and how exactly he intends to work up to it, the more nervous Yoongi gets. Was Seokjin actually planning on doing this—enlist you as Yoongi’s fake girlfriend and drag you along to participate in this facade? Yoongi is mildly shocked. He should have known Seokjin would follow through on the question, but he had just assumed that today was just the idea phase and that plans to arrange this fake relationship would take weeks.

But if there’s anything Yoongi knows about Seokjin, it’s that the man knows how to get something done. Quickly, too. In Seokjin’s word, it’s a natural occurrence for a simple idea phase to morph into actual concrete plans within the time span of a day. Yoongi should have planned this out better—but then again, he didn’t think that him accidentally stopping on a picture of you from a fucking drama article would serve as the catalyst for Seokjin’s ideas.

Yoongi straightens up onto his feet. “Why don’t I talk to Y/N first about this?” He asks. “The idea may seem good on paper, but if she’s uncomfortable then it’s a no go.”

Seokjin studies Yoongi carefully, before the former relents. “Okay, fair enough. Let me know what happens.”

As soon as the pair of them exchange the last nods, Yoongi is dashing out of Seokjin’s office with one clear objective in mind: to talk to you.

Luckily, you aren’t too far away. You’re in your office, typing up something on your laptop and your eyes scanning through what he can only assume are emails. It’s eyes that widen when Yoongi practically storms into your space, shutting the door behind him.

You straighten up. “Yoongi, you alright? You look like you just ran a marathon.”

Yoongi doesn’t even realize that his chest is heaving until you point that out. He coughs. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Didn’t run a marathon though.”

Your eyebrows furrow, but the corner of your lips turn up in mild curiosity. “Okay. What’s up?”

Yoongi presses his lips together. Even with the many feet of space between the two of you—he can make out the glimmer in your eyes from the sunlight pouring through the window, he can see the shadow of your eyelashes and the line where your collarbone dips below your blouse. Fuck, he’s in deep. There’s no way he could ask you something so monumental to the downfall of his sanity. But he knows that it’s too late to just walk away. Partly because he’s already in your office and partly because the idea has already been planted into Seokjin’s head. And if Yoongi didn’t speak up, then Seokjin was going to.

So Yoongi opens his mouth. “I may or may not have gotten you into a situation,” He starts up.

You snort, of course not taking him seriously. “That might just be the summary of our relationship.”

“No, I don’t think you understand…” Yoongi pleads, stepping deeper into the office.

You frown at his behavior, closing your laptop this time to address him completely. “Okay, what’s up, really? You’re kind of scaring me…”

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s not… scary or anything…” He trails off.

You raise an eyebrow. “Let me be the judge of that.”

So Yoongi shoves his hands deep into his coat pocket, and slides next to your desk, leaning against the surface as he starts his story. He covers everything: from Seokjin bringing up the drama articles about his relationship status, how he had scrolled through and saw your name, how Seokjin had misinterpreted that as a sign, and worse of all, how Seokjin thought it would be a good idea for you to play as Yoongi’s fake girlfriend.

To say you’re appalled would be an understatement. You’re staring up at him, eyes wide and lips parted. “Are you serious?” You ask. “B-But I’m your manager!” You scoff at yourself. “No, more than that—I’m your friend, Yoongi. Seokjin must be on something. He has to be. What did you guys decide on? Please tell me that you said no.”

“W-Well, there was no agreement or disagreement,” Yoongi argues weakly. “I walked out before Seokjin could make up his mind.” He pauses for a moment, something sinking in. “Wait a minute,” He brings up, a slightly teasing smile across his face. “Do you really find the idea of dating me that gross?”

You make a noise in the back of your throat at his accusation, and you immediately begin to scramble. “I-I mean,” You start, the flush present in your throat as you start speaking very quickly at once. Both your hands go up in a defensive position. “It’s not that I don’t find you gross… because I don’t! You’re a very attractive person—it’s just that—we’re friends and—stop looking at me like that!” You stand up, slamming your palms onto the table when you realize that he’s just flashing you a shit-eating grin.

He has half the mind to be mildly disheartened that you are so against the idea of dating him. But then again, he’d probably say no to fake dating you if he was being forced into a situation like this. He’d definitely say no.

Okay, he’d probably say no.

“Well, I told Seokjin that if you were uncomfortable with the idea, then it’d be a no go and he seemed to respect the idea.”

Still standing, you sigh and press your face into the palm of your hand. Your fingers brush through your hair. “Okay, let’s step back for a moment.” You remove your hands from your face. “If I were to say yes, what exactly would that entail?”

Yoongi manages a weak one-shouldered shrug. “I’m not sure exactly. Seokjin would probably have a better idea of that. I imagine KSJ records would release a statement about our relationship, and we would be scheduled to go to variety shows or press interviews together. We’d probably have to go out to restaurants together too. Hold hands…” The thought of holding your hand dries up his throat a little, but he passes it off well by faking a cough. “That sort of stuff.”

You glare at him. “And what about your fans? You’re trying to preserve this ‘pure romantic heart’ image, but I’m sure there’s a lot of fans that like to believe the songs could be about them.”

He shrugs. “That—I’m not too sure about. I imagine Seokjin prefers the idea of my fans believing that my heart only belongs to one person rather than them believing that I’ll just write a love song for anyone.”

You nod. “That’s valid, I guess.”

Yoongi stares at you from the smaller space of distance between the two of you. “Again, you don’t have to say yes. Frankly, I think it’s a batshit crazy idea.”

“It’s not… completely out of line.” After a moment, you sigh. “I can actually understand why Seokjin would get the idea of trying to set you up like this. The news articles will probably get worse. And since your songs market themselves on being personal, people want to know who the songs are about. If Seokjin gave the public a face, then there’d be no room for assumptions and even less room for scandals to come about.” You give him a look. “Sadly, if you were to stay single, there’s only so much I could do as your manager to control that bad press.”

Yoongi raises both his eyebrows up. “Does that mean you’re saying yes—?”

“I’m not… saying anything yet.” You plop yourself back down into your seat. “I’m not saying yes. But I’m not saying no either.” You sink further into your seat. “Hopefully Seokjin will change his mind before I have to make up mine?”

That’s an unlikely case. But Yoongi doesn’t argue with you, and you don’t wait for him to. He simply nods one more time before leaving your office.

You would be lying if you said you never thought about dating Yoongi. Of course you have. You’re sure that you’ve had a crush on the boy within the first week of your introductions. This crush explains so many of your past actions—your support for his Youtube channel, your fulfillment as his manager, and now this pull towards agreeing to become his fake girlfriend. And you hate yourself for the every second you consider it a good idea.

Because it’s not a good idea. It’s a terrible idea. More than that, it’s an unfair idea. Agreeing to fake date someone you actually want to date seems like too cruel a hand to be dealt. Considering your more-often-than-not fragile state, setting yourself up with Yoongi in this way already seems doomed to fail. It would be unfair to Yoongi, because agreeing to this would deprive him of an actual relationship he could be happy in. But it would be more unfair to you, because losing control would mean losing your best friend.

So you don’t give Yoongi a positive confirmation. But you don’t give him a negative one either. See, you don’t have the heart to just outwardly reject him, because you know that he needs you to help him with this. You know that he understands the situation he’s been put in, and that getting a fake girlfriend seems to be the best case scenario. You know that it wouldn’t make sense with any other girl—it had to be you. Saying no straight to face is something that you don’t have the heart to do.

Rather than give a yes or no answer, you opt for the second best option: hold off and avoid indulging too deeply.

It’s a strategy that works for a grand total of one day.

The following day post Yoongi’s conversation, you show up to work with information that Yoongi is going to start recording songs for his new album. His first full-length album, at that—something he has been working hard for since the beginning. Every second of free time available to him during the tour, during off-days had been dedicated to writing the music necessary to fill the album. You know how hard he’s been working—you’ve watched throughout the duration of his tour, and spoke to him for many nights about the progression of this album.

You just didn’t think that the recording part would be coming around so soon.

This is a thought you reflect to Seokjin when you enter the recording studio. Yoongi is already behind the glass, and his voice is amplified in the studio, where they appear to be discussing the arrangement for how a song is going to go. This leaves you vaguely surprised—if Yoongi is in the booth already, it means that there must have been some ground covered on how the arrangement was supposed to go. Just how long has Yoongi been in the studio before you showed up?

“Ah, good morning,” Seokjin greets from the back of the studio, seated on the couch and his arms resting along the back. “Don’t get mad, but Yoongi worked through the night again.”

Your lips part into a gape as your eyes widen in disbelief. “Please tell me you’re joking,” You return.

Seokjin merely laughs in return. “I wish I was! When I left, he was going at it with Namjoon and when I came back this morning they were still going at it. But, you know, who am I to rain in on a breakthrough moment?”

You relent your control of the situation slightly (only slightly) at Seokjin’s rhetorical question. Namjoon is one of Seokjin’s top producers and arrangers—very gifted in songwriting and how to make a good song. From the year that you and Yoongi have been a part of KSJ records, Yoongi and Namjoon have gotten along great and their close relationship has been the reason for many late nights. The pair of them were always caught in the drift of making sleepless but record-selling hits.

Like Seokjin said, who are you to interrupt art in progress?

Although you have a sudden flurry of desires and objectives (mainly to reprimand Yoongi for being so careless with a slap or a hit where you could put him to sleep yourself), you bite it down long enough to shed your jacket and rest it on the armrest of the couch. “Fine, fine, I’ll let it go this time.”

Seokjin chuckles at that, removing his gaze from you and sliding it across the studio back into the booth where Yoongi is still in the midst of discussing something with Namjoon. Something about how the arrangement isn’t as smooth or on beat as they had originally intended. “You’re a good manager,” He says at last. “I can tell that you really do care about him and will definitely give him a peace of your mind once he’s done with today’s session. And what’s more…” He laughs. “He’ll actually let you walk all over him. You’d be surprised how often I see managers in it just for the money, where they don’t have their artist’s best interest in mind. You’re definitely not like that.”

You slide into the vacant seat next to Seokjin. “If I don’t keep an eye on him, I know that no one else will. It’s nothing against other people, but no one else in his life is as involved in his career as I am. But I’m his friend first, and his manager second.”

The pair of you are quiet for a moment, as you watch Namjoon fiddle with some of the switches on the music panel. They seem to come to an agreement on the newly modified beat, because it starts playing through the speakers in the booth. Yoongi presses his hands against the headphones he’s wearing, and starts to relay the lyrics into the microphone. It starts off slow—Yoongi has his phone in his hands to read the lyrics, to double check the flow and the tempo. After a few lines, he stops. “Ah—let’s reword this line. I do like the change we made to the music, so let’s change the lyrics to match.” His voice is amplified through the studio.

Namjoon presses a button on the music panel, allowing him to communicate with Yoongi. “Sure. Want to head in and make the changes?”

Yoongi ponders this for a moment, but shakes his head. “Give me a second. Maybe if I listen to the song again, I can feel what I vibe with.”

“Sounds good.” Namjoon releases his hold on the button, and turns around in his chair to face you and Seokjin. The sight of you makes his eyes widen, as Namjoon coughs back a choke. “O-Oh, Y/N, you’re here—!”

His words make you narrow your eyes as you point a finger at him. “YAH! Which one of you was it that contributed to your all-nighter?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know!” Namjoon protests, raising both of his hands up in defense. “We were both in the groove!”

You lower your finger with a sigh. “You’re lucky that you’re in the middle of helping Yoongi achieve his dreams. Otherwise I’d kick both of your asses.”

Namjoon seems to realize that you’re not messing around, because he emits a nervous laugh. “I promise we’ll be a little more careful next time…”

“Oh, Namjoon, I rewrote some of the lines!” Yoongi calls from inside the booth.

Namjoon whirls around in his chair again to press the button. “Sounds good, let’s do it.”

As the music starts up again, Seokjin decides to speak up once more. “Yoongi told me that he talked to you about the little fake dating plan I had.”

The mention of it, as well as your previous internal insistence of not talking or thinking about that, makes you stiffen. “He might have mentioned something like that.”

When you turn to look at Seokjin, he has an unreadable look glinting in his eyes. “Since you were talking about achieving Yoongi’s dreams and all…” He trails off. “I wanted to apologize for bringing that idea onto you so quickly. I didn’t really consider how you’d feel about the arrangement. I just wanted to try and do what I thought was best for Yoongi.”

You sigh. “I know why you thought of the idea. And I totally agree with you—I think that if he wants to carry on, this is the least costly next step that should be taken. I just… I don’t know if I’m the best fit for it.”

Seokjin nods. “I respect your decision. After all, Yoongi told me that if you were uncomfortable with it, then it’d be an immediate no go.”

The corner of your lips turns up upon hearing Yoongi’s thought process. Even though you’ve already heard the words from the man himself—it’s nice to hear that assurance from his boss. Knowing that Yoongi puts your thoughts and feelings on the forefront of his mind is a nice feeling. A misleading feeling if you let yourself think too deeply into it. But a nice feeling, nonetheless.

You decide not to comment immediately on Seokjin’s apology; rather, you tune into what exactly Yoongi is singing about in the song. It’s got a softer beat to it—an opening song to the album, perhaps? It’s much more whimsy compared to his hard-hitting personal rants that touch on the frustration of miscommunication, of not saying something when he should have said something.

Instead, this is a song about distance—about missing someone due to distance and the longing of returning home because of the normality it brought. About how even closeness sometimes isn’t enough to fill the gap of desire in his heart. It takes on a beat you’ve never heard before, and a feeling of missing something that isn’t even tangible for you as a listener. Nevertheless, his words, his raspiness, and the hard lines hidden within the otherwise soft tone of the song work hard to poke at your edges and your weak spots. The parts of you that have always been willing to cave for Yoongi, the part of you that has never hesitated to do what needed to be done if it benefited Yoongi.

You were his manager, so you always want what’s best for him. But you’re also a friend who has been in love with him for years, so you will do whatever it takes to get him there.

You hope you don’t regret this.

“Actually,” You admit quietly, but it’s loud enough to perk Seokjin’s attention. “I’ll do it.”

Seokjin blinks, clearly trying to process your words right off the bat. “You’ll…” He trails off.

You look away. You have a feeling that if Seokjin looks at you for too long, he’ll see your emotions spill out across the entire fucking studio. “Do the fake dating idea.”

Seokjin fumbles a little. “H-Hold on a second—are you sure? Seriously, I’m not trying to pressure you or anything. Since you’re the one least adjusted to being in the spotlight, a lot of this pressure is going to fall onto you. I don’t want you to say yes and then regret it later on… so maybe you should think a little more about this…”

You steel yourself. It feels a little bit like holding your breath. Finally, you spare Seokjin a look. “I won’t regret it,” You say. “You and I both said that Yoongi needs me to keep going at this pace—I was going to get roped in eventually, so I think it’ll just be easier if I agree now rather than drag this thing around for a couple of months. Besides…” You try to relax a little in your seat, but it’s hard to tell if you’re being convincing or not. “It’s nothing too serious right? You just want us to go out together, hold hands occasionally, speak highly of each other… We already do half of those things but it’ll just be emphasized now. No big deal.”

Seokjin is wearing that unreadable look in his eyes again, like he knows something that you don’t even know yourself. “You’re right,” He settles with after a long pause. “It’s nothing too serious. You’ll probably have people also digging into your space though, but we’ll make all the necessary arrangements before any sort of announcement.”

“If that’s the case,” You reply. “Then I’m sure it’ll all be fine. Besides.” You try for a smile. “It’s all just fake anyways, right? As long as the ones who really matter know that, then I don’t really see the harm in it.”

Seokjin only continues to stare at you, before he relents. You know just as well as he does that your decision is one of an adult, and that if you really had a problem with something you would vote your opinion without hesitation. No matter if he can somehow read the thoughts in your head.

At last, he nods. “We might need you to sign another NDA but…” He extends an arm out towards you. “Welcome abroad, Min Yoongi’s girlfriend.”

You laugh a little, hollow but still present, as you reach over to take his head. “We’ll start having problems if that nickname becomes a regular thing.”

Seokjin laughs a little louder, a complete opposite of his more quiet and observant side displayed just a few seconds ago. “Don’t worry—just for formalities. HEY, Namjoon, let me talk to Yoongi for a second.” He practically throws himself off of the couch and towards the music panel where Namjoon and Yoongi are still mid-discussion about another aspect of music you do not understand. Namjoon relents, pushing himself and his chair off to the side as Seokjin comes up to press the button on the panel that allows for discussion between the booth and the studio. “Hey, Min Yoongi, there’s been some discussions behind the scenes. Say hello to your new girlfriend!”

There’s a brief silence in the studio, and Yoongi’s eyes immediately bug out of his head like this is the last thing he expected to hear on this very casual Wednesday morning. Knowing the agenda for the day, it probably has been. “What?” Yoongi says after a long moment, his voice amplified by the speakers in the studio.

Seokjin turns towards you, jerking his head at the booth, and you get up with a sigh. You approach the music panel where Seokjin and Namjoon are currently situated—and aren’t sure how to feel when you see the way Yoongi’s eyes widen at the sight of you through the window.

Still, you cannot help your own weak smile as you lean in towards the microphone. “Hi honey,” You say.

Yoongi continues to stare at you, before his lips part and his face takes on a very unusual shade of red. “HUH?”

CHAPTER 3: THE ANNOUNCEMENT

KSJ records releases a statement within the next following days, and it gains momentum like nothing you’ve ever seen before.

HELLO, WE ARE KSJ RECORDS.

Recently, we acknowledge that many fans have developed a curiosity about the relationship status of our newest artist Min Yoongi. The release of his latest EP and the undertaking of his concert has left many questions regarding who he writes his songs for—and many of the different assumptions made by people around the world could leave very dangerous and lasting impressions on people that our artist sees as platonic. We want to respond properly and say the truth.

Min Yoongi has been in a relationship with his current manager, Y/N, for the past three years. When Min Yoongi was first signed to KSJ Records, they were already in a relationship and Y/N was assigned the task as Yoongi’s manager given her experience working alongside him during his Youtube career. They have good feelings about each other, and have agreed to make this information public to avoid future misunderstandings. KSJ Records and Yoongi hope that you all will support their relationship as they continue to navigate through Yoongi’s growing career together.

You cannot help but laugh a little at the statement, which is flying so close to the truth that it might as well have been your reality. And in a way, it is. You’ve already prepared, molded your online presence just barely to meet these new expectations to the new facade you have to put up.

And it’s not like the announcement actually changes anything in your daily life. In the days leading up to the post, you had decided to delete your Twitter account (you weren’t making much use of that platform anyways—what, with all the thirst accounts for Yoongi that you were stumbling upon due to internet cookies and the algorithm), and archive a fair number of your Instagram photos on an account that was already set to private. For someone who didn’t live and breathe social media, it wasn’t too hard to rid of that element in your life.

One thing you hadn’t really accounted for, however, were the news stories that wrote about you in the hours following the press release. Several of them were base-level lists about your childhood and how your relationship with Yoongi could have festered—most of which were correct given that older fans of Yoongi knew what university he attended and how you were also a student there. But that information is generally public, and it’s not like you attend the university anymore.

Other than that, there are a few comments on your looks, a few assumptions on your personality. But surprising, there’s nothing too severe. At least, from the surface-level information you can collect from just doing a basic google search. Social media would probably be a more difficult battle, one that you would need nerves of steel and a hardened heart in order to navigate, but like mentioned: professionally managing your own personal social media isn’t exactly your forte.

Over the next week, you follow Seokjin’s advice to lay low and let the news of your relationship with Yoongi continue to spread through the ranks. You spend that time in your apartment, answering a few messages from friends and family but doing what you could to keep the information as limited as possible. You assume that too many people knowing, regardless of how close or trustworthy they were, sort of went against the NDA you had to sign. And you’re not sure how your friends would react if they found out you were only dating Yoongi for a cover-up. Especially since some of them actually are fully aware of your feelings for him.

Regardless, you carry on. Yoongi sends you some screenshots he takes of supportive messages from his fans wishing the both of you the best in your relationship, and he also sends you some memes about your relationship that make you laugh. His fans have a good sense of humor, what could you say.

However, a week is the most you allow yourself to hide away within the comfort (and boring nature) of your apartment before you’re already texting Seokjin with news that you were showing up to the studio.

Surprisingly, Seokjin doesn’t question this. He calls you. “I was just about to ask if you were going to come over anyways!” He says in a rather upbeat nature. “So it’s good to hear that we’re both on the same page.”

So you step out of your apartment, dressed up in your usual work uniform and feeling much more put-together than you had been for the week you were ordered to remain quiet and lowkey. There’s something exciting about stepping out after being unable to do so for an extended period of time—and it shows in the little bounce that occurs with every step that you take down the sidewalk. Since you usually take the subway to work, you decide to dawn a bucket hat with a face mask tucked over your nose and mouth to blend in just enough but not so much so that your strange fashion choices could draw attention.

It doesn’t, and you enjoy the rocking of the subway racing down the tracks as you peer out of the window quietly. KSJ Records is just a few stops away from your apartment, so you waste no time standing out and stepping out as soon as the doors of the subway open at the right stop. You bound up the stairs, through the familiar pathways you’ve always taken to get to work, and after a few blocks, you arrive at the building of KSJ Records.

As you shoulder open the door, you greet the secretary behind the table, who smiles back at you. “Oh, good morning!” She greets cheerfully. “Seokjin is waiting for you in his office. I believe Yoongi is already with him.”

You nod. “Sounds good, thank you so much!” You bound deeper in, navigating through the different hallways until you arrive at Seokjin’s office. True to the word from the front desk, Yoongi is already there. He looks surprisingly meek for someone who has been trending on Twitter for a few days, but you suppose that he’s still trying to adjust to the fact that Seokjin’s plan is already in motion. After all, he didn’t even get the final say before Seokjin started taking the situation into his own hands. The last he had heard of it was your apparent agreement before Seokjin drew up a company statement for him to approve.

A part of you feels guilty—but Yoongi had been the one to ask you first! Perhaps he’s still in that normal state of uncertainty. After all, you feel like that as well.

“Good morning guys,” You greet as soon as you register who exactly is in Seokjin’s office. You close the door behind you as both boys turn to acknowledge you.

Seokjin grins. “Hi, thanks for coming in.”

You wave him off. “You gave me the week off. I was starting to get a little restless.” You take a seat in the other vacant chair, in front of Seokjin and besides Yoongi. “What’s up, Yoongi?”

Yoongi is already looking at you when you turn to greet him, but as soon as you ask your question, the corner of his lips quirk up into a vaguely uneasy and nervous smile. “H-Hi honey.”

You freeze at that, immediately furrowing your eyebrows as you produce your own nervous smile. “Hi?” You return. “What the fuck are you on?”

Seokjin interrupts before Yoongi can get an answer in. “Stop, stop, you’re way too stiff, Yoongi!”

“Well, I’m trying!” Yoongi spits, before looking back at you with an utterance of your name. “Sorry, Seokjin wanted me to try treating you the same way I would treat a girlfriend. Apparently I didn’t do too hot.”

“Not apparently, you just didn’t do hot at all,” Seokjin retorts back, flashing you an apologetic smile. “We were trying out a few moves easier to see how well you guys can adjust from having your normal manager slash artist relationship to displaying a long term, healthy and happy romantic relationship. It’s one thing to say that you guys are dating, but you guys do need to have something of an act ready.”

You fold your fingers over each other, your mind on a dissociation for the briefest of seconds as the realization sinks its teeth just a little deeper. Holding hands and saying cute shit to each other had been easy to talk about in passing dialogue to Seokjin—but actually having to do it is a hurdle you hadn’t considered to the fullest.

“I mean…” You speak up after a moment. “What if we’re just one of those couples that aren’t handsey with each other? Or don’t need that lovey dovey look in each other’s eyes to prove that we’re in a relationship?”

Seokjin ponders this for a second. “True. But if we’re starting this, there needs to be a full level commitment on the act. If people start questioning the legitimacy of your relationship, that would be an even worse scandal than just letting people make assumptions about Yoongi’s relationship status in general! We definitely, at least, need to develop a basic level of your relationship, and then you guys can work around your own varying levels of comfort. This is something that we need to get rolling as soon as possible, because you.” He points at Yoongi. “Are booked in the next few days to do some radio interviews. And you.” He points at you. “Are going to go with him, as his girlfriend.”

Even though you had known the label was coming, you can’t stop from feeling hot all over at how you were now technically Yoongi’s girlfriend.

“So,” Seokjin continues. “How about I give you a base level of what I’m looking for. And we can do a few practice runs to make sure you guys are comfortable enough with these expectations?”

Yoongi nods, leaving you little option but to do the same. But the thought from the recording booth bubbles up again: you hope you won’t regret this.

A few days later and you don’t think you’ll regret the outcome of this situation. But you’ll definitely get a little sick on the way.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” You say in the car. You’re sitting in the back, next to Yoongi, staring straight ahead at the passenger seat before you. “And stay all in one piece,” You add as an afterthought.

Yoongi glances over at you, looking nervous enough to admit a pout. “At least you don’t have to say anything—I’m the one doing all the talking…”

You huff out a breath. This is true. You’re just here to play the supportive girlfriend, the agreeable partner who’ll publicly accompany Yoongi to a public event since a public announcement. Seokjin says that doing this with the lense of a romantic relationship makes you seem friendly, open, and supportive of the relationship. You’re not too sure how public perception is shaped, but you understand where Seokjin is coming from. Tagging along to an event as a girlfriend instead of a manager makes you and Yoongi seem free. Like you have nothing to hide.

Only in reality, it’s the complete opposite. With everything coming out to the surface, you have everything to hide.

It only takes a few more minutes of driving before you arrive at the radio station. The instructions for today’s assignment have been easy: get out of the car, and walk the many steps needed to reach the entrance of the station. The empty step ahead is surrounded by paparazzi and fans, all screaming and shouting—trying to get their fill of Yoongi.

You sigh. You could do this. You and Yoongi have been practicing for the past few days. Albeit, ‘practicing’ just mainly consisted of the pair of you walking down a hallway close together. It was more lackluster than anything else, and you don’t think it was entirely productive use of time. Seokjin seemed to think that the pair of you needed to work on a closer level of proximity. But you know the truth about your feelings, and know that the complications will come from just being too close to him.

Yoongi unbuckles his seatbelt and is already moving to tug at the handle that’ll open his side of the car door, immediately exposing him to the walkway along with the flashing cameras and loud screams. Before he can pull all the way, however, he stops short. You’re about to ask what the problem is, before he angles towards you and flashes you that grin he has when he’s thinking of ideas you wouldn’t approve of. “I have an idea,” He breathes out, quickly reaching over to grab your hand.

You stiffen at the contact, trying to ignore the flash of your heart speeding up in your chest. You and Yoongi hadn’t agreed on this—if you had, maybe you would have been a little more prepared for the situation! Oh god.

On instinct, you try to wiggle out of his grasp. “What are you doing?” You hiss.

Yoongi gives you a dry look, reaching over to grab your hand again. “Calm down,” He argues back, lacing your fingers together for extra measure, like that’s gonna be the thing to help you calm the fuck down. “This’ll help sell it, okay? Just trust me.”

Leaving little room for arguments, he squeezes your hand briefly before loosening it enough. He pulls the car door handle, pushing it outwards, and stepping out into the wild. People notice his appearance immediately, because the screams grow louder as Yoongi uses his unoccupied hand to wave and bow towards those who have come out to see him.

You trail behind rather helplessly; the hand connected to Yoongi pulling you out of the car. Yoongi stays near the door, staring down at you with a rather watchful gaze that only leaves you feeling hotter than before. Still, you don’t speak of it as Yoongi steps back just enough for you to step out of the car. “You okay?” He asks.

You nod, readjusting yourself with one hand before Yoongi starts to pull you alongside him to walk the distance towards the radio station entrance. Although you want to engage slightly with the crowd, your nerves keep you mainly at bay, forcing you to angle your head downwards just enough to avoid any serious eye contact. Yoongi keeps his gaze ahead, walking a rather brisk pace towards the radio studio—where security leads the way in opening the door for the pair of you. Whether he’s walking fast because he doesn’t want to keep up the charade of holding your hand for so long… or because he can feel how sweaty your palm is getting. You don’t know.

It’s only a few more steps before you and Yoongi are entering the building for the radio show, where Jungkook is lingering near the entrance. He’s on his phone, probably having just made a call with Seokjin about your arrival, before he spots the two of you entering. “Hey guys, how was it?”

Yoongi nods. “A little loud, but I think it went alright.”

Jungkook’s eyes flicker down to your intertwined hands. “Wow, you guys are committed,” He comments.

You seem to remember that your soul has returned to the body that is still currently holding hands with Min Yoongi. Alarmingly, you take your hand back. “Y-Yeah, Yoongi thought it would be a good show for the people outside! No biggie—just a simple hand holding technique, people do that all the time!” You realize that you’re rambling.

Yoongi, oblivious as always, raises an eyebrow. “You okay?”

“Y-Yeah,” You manage. “Why do you ask?”

Yoongi is about to answer, before an intern shyly approaches the three of you with an iPad in hand.

“Are you all under Mr. Min’s team?” She asks, fishing out some badges when you nod in confirmation. “Okay, so make sure to take these so everyone knows who you are. Mr. Min? I can lead you to the studio you’ll be interviewing in, if you’ll follow me—did you need me to grab a soda for you?” She begins listing a series of questions about his well-being, leaving you and Jungkook behind in the hallway with your newly acquired badges in hand.

Jungkook, observant as always, gives you a look. “What was that all about?”

“Huh? I-It was nothing…” You trail off looping the badge around your neck, meeting Jungkook’s eyes and realizing that he’s wearing a shit-eating grin. The same kind of grin that Taehyung gives you when you’re standing too close to Yoongi. Your eyes flare. “WHAT DO YOU KNOW?”

Jungkook laughs. “Calm down, calm down, Taehyung and I gossip a lot on the side—hey, what the fuck, don’t hit me—we’re in a public place!”

You relent your aggression, but only slightly. You lower your arms as well. “Just—don’t tell Yoongi.”

Jungkook levels with you a dry look. “Do you think I have a death wish? C’mon, let’s head over.”

With a hesitant sigh, you relent and let Jungkook lead you down the halls of this studio, until the pair of you find a door with Yoongi’s name written on the white board. There’s a darkened LIVE light panel above the frame, indicating that Yoongi’s radio interview hasn’t started yet. There’s some people lingering about, who nod and open the door for you when you present your TALENT badge at them. The inside of a radio booth is similar to the recording booths Yoongi has found a home in as of late. There’s people in this current room, headphones on and monitoring what’s happening before them while being surrounded with sound panels and laptop screens. On the other side of the glass is Yoongi, and the main hosts of the radio station, Jung Hoseok and Im Nayeon.

From your side, you can hear their conversation amplified through speakers in the studio. They’re all currently joking around about external matters—it makes sense too. Yoongi has been on this particular radio show a handful of times.

“Okay, okay, you guys,” Hoseok speaks after a few more minutes of playful banter. “Today, we have a very special guest with us today. He’s fresh off the tour of his first and most recent EP, we have Min Yoongi in the studio! Yay!” He claps. Nayeon follows suit.

Yoongi stops his clapping sooner to speak into the microphone in front of him. “Thanks for having me back.”

“Thank you for deciding to hang out with us for the afternoon,” Nayeon says. “Especially since you’re a big hot shot now.”

Yoongi laughs. “I wouldn’t say that… I just finished my first tour, Nayeon, no big deal.”

“‘No big deal’,” Nayeon quotes him. “As if your EP didn’t chart into a top 50 list or anything like that.”

The conversation trails like this for a little bit. Yoongi is scheduled to spend thirty minutes doing a segment, which is meant to be uploaded onto Youtube later, so it gives the three of them a lot of legroom to play around and play off of each other. The purpose of the interview is to discuss the tour, the progress of the album, and (if anyone dared venture there) the status of his relationship—!

“Well, moving on from the album—which I’m sure is going to be a huge success, by the way,” Nayeon continues on, bringing you back from the daydream that you’ve slipped into. “Seriously, it’s a very highly anticipated release.”

Yoongi manages a nervous smile. “I’ll make sure not to let anyone down.”

Nayeon nods. “I think it’s a good time to ask about a recent development that has occurred with you as of late.”

“And, that is the announcement of your relationship,” Nayeon carries on. She glances at Yoongi from across the table. “We’re allowed to ask you questions about it, right?”

Yoongi nods, choosing his words very carefully. “I’m all ears for your questions, Nayeon.”

Nayeon brightens at that. “I just think that a lot of people want to know: how are you guys doing since the announcement?”

He takes in a breath. To the general public, it’ll probably look as if he’s steeling himself to finally come clean about a relationship he’s been hiding for three years. But to you, you know it’s because he’s just trying to figure out what exactly to say.

“We’ve been doing well,” He says with a nod of assurance. “It was a little stressful at first, and it still is because of how recent the news is, but I am glad we decided to make this call. Y/N has been with me since the beginning and has supported me and has been the inspiration for a lot of my music—and I’m at a point in my life where I want my fans to know that rather than drag them along and just make them assume these parts of my life.”

“That’s so sweet,” Nayeon gushes. “So Y/N wasn’t always just your manager, even back in your Youtube days?”

Yoongi shakes his head. “Actually, she was my girlfriend before I decided to upload song covers.”

Nayeon swoons a little. “Can you tell us the story of how we met? You can be brief, of course.”

Yoongi laughs. “We shared a class together in college, and she was probably the funniest person I had ever met—of course, we were friends for about a year before we started dating. But Y/N was always very supportive about me pursuing music, even when it was just a hobby. When I did start my Youtube channel, she stayed up to help with editing and just letting me know how some lyrics I had written would sound. She was a business major in college, so it felt right to let her have the reins on scheduling my appearances—and now she’s my manager. Besides just being my girlfriend, we work together really well.”

You huff out a breath, something you hadn’t even realized that you were holding. You didn’t think Yoongi lying straight through his teeth could cause you so much anxiety. As if there are people around this radio station to fact check everything leaving Yoongi’s mouth.

Nayeon hesitates for a moment. “Alright, I want to ask one more question.”

Yoongi gestures for her to continue.

“You write a lot about being in love and all these little moments of stability and that feeling of contentment—but what is your experience with love? How did you know that you were in love?”

Your lips part in shock at the question, having not expected it. After all, Seokjin didn’t quiz Yoongi on this answer. And to talk about love in such a personal manner—would Yoongi even have an answer for everyone?

Your gaze is trained on Yoongi, watching them through the glass separating you from him. It seems as if the entire room is silenced in anticipation. You can feel Jungkook’s gaze hot on your back, clearly trying to gauge your response—but you try not to give him the satisfaction of a reaction.

“It’s actually funny,” Yoongi speaks up after a moment. Your heart lurches, thinking that he’s going to divert from the question. But you should know him better. “I always thought love, when it came to romance, was supposed to be this big explosion of fireworks and what not—like in the movies. You see someone and there’s this feeling in your gut right away, you know, this whole concept of love at first sight. I used to think that was how I was going to fall in love. It was going to be dramatic, but everything I wanted right away, and I was going to be whisked off and everything would be sunshine and rainbows. I thought that I’d meet someone, and they’d be everything I wanted them to be right off the bat, and that I’d know right away they’d be the one.

But the truth is, through my relationship, I realized that it’s not like that. I didn’t know Y/N would be the one right away. It took a long time—because we liked each other, but that’s not the big explosion of fireworks I was promised. We liked each other, but it was never love at first sight. And truthfully, she wasn’t even everything I wanted right off the bat. I’ve realized that love is more about these adjustments you as people have to make to fit, and it happened so subtly with me that then I didn’t realize it was happening until I just woke up one day and knew.

I knew because one morning, I woke up in a fit—I had fallen asleep at my desk again trying to get through some of the music arrangement of this one video I was working on, or something like that. I was always working on music and editing—so I actually don’t remember. Anyways, I woke up and my head was resting on a pillow, and there was a blanket over my shoulder, which I didn’t remember fixing up the night before. I got out of the little makeshift studio I had in my apartment, and there was breakfast food from this cafe I really like around the corner at my table. It was a little cold, but Y/N had taped a little note on the bag with heating instructions and what not, just telling me to do my best—really nice and supportive things. I had assumed that she had gone back home, because she knew I was pulling another all-nighter for work. That’s what I thought, until I look into the living room and find her sleeping on my couch. More than that, her hands were still on her laptop, where she had been in the process of still editing one of my videos. She still had her headphones on and everything. We had been dating for a little less than a year at that point, so it wasn’t like this was a rare thing. It was a pretty normal thing for her to do—wrap me up in blankets and buy me breakfast food the following morning, even falling asleep on the couch was a weekly occurrence. But I just saw her sleeping on my couch and I felt this wave of warmth and contentment. Like I always knew that she’d be on my team. I think that was the moment I really knew what love was.”

It’s a long story, one that ends with a stunned silence—like no one had expected him to give out such a detailed answer and make it sound poetic at the same time. That’s the songwriter Min Yoongi for you, you supposed.

Quickly, both the studio and the booth give out a chorus of aw’s and ooh’s, gushing amongst one another over the charming nature of Yoongi’s story. But you are still trapped into submission, staring straight through the glass with millions of questions still going through your mind. The spike in your heart rate also points to the rush of adrenaline flowing through you. Because you know this story that he is telling. He’s not lying through his teeth. You remember this night. Or, one of the nights, at least. Like Yoongi had said, you giving out blankets and food like air was second nature in your friendship. So was you falling asleep on the couch.

Did those situations hold as much weight for him as they did for you? Or, was he just making up his feelings? After all, the key to lying was skirting as close to the truth as possible. That kind of situation may work for Yoongi, as the liar, but it wasn’t as comforting for you.

You watch the way Yoongi laughs at the gushing Nayeon does, the way he smiles brightly and continues to reinforce how important you are—and you recognize his facade better than anyone else. Of course he’s lying, and you reach their realization with a bit of downfall in your stomach. There’s no way he would be telling the truth, especially considering the situation the pair of you are now in where Yoongi’s career is dependent on his ability to tell a proper lie.

You allow yourself to sink a little deeper into the studio, near the back where the producers of the radio station can discuss amongst each other. This puts you with Jungkook, who has been watching the situation closely the entire time.

“Yoongi can be quite the actor,” Jungkook mumbles. He has this unreadable expression in his eyes, but you know that Jungkook knows that situation Yoongi is describing. It had been Jungkook’s apartment as well. He glances at you, but says nothing.

You continue to stare ahead. That pensive silence continues as Yoongi is released from the radio interview, and thanks Nayeon and Hoseok eagerly for their time and energy. Nayeon returns the gesture, waving to you through the glass when Yoongi points you out. You weakly return the action.

It isn’t until you get into the car, where the pair of you are safe from the wandering eyes and careful ears of the entire world, that one of you elects to speak up. “So, what did you think?” Yoongi asks.

By this point, you’ve recovered swiftly from your disappointment. You smile like it’s your only shield. “As your manager, I’m glad that you were able to make love so poetic—just on brand for you. As your fake girlfriend, I also really have to congratulate you for your storytelling. I even remember those nights too, so it was definitely a good memory to lie about.”

Yoongi flushes a little at your comment, looking pleased with himself for a moment. You smile at his expression, before turning to train your gaze out of the window. The gesture makes you miss the way the smile slips off his face, the way he glances over at you. A good memory to lie about—right.

Yoongi’s radio interview goes viral, and so does any hope you have in trying to forget the tale he had spun during it. Granted, you are happy that people bought his story. You just wish that it wouldn’t have muddled up all your thoughts and feelings along the way.

Naturally, Seokjin is excited about the good press and the fact that the pair of you completed your first assignment well enough. At least, that’s the display he’s presenting when you walk into his office two days after the radio interview. Yesterday was spent looking over social media to see the public’s reaction to Yoongi’s speech about love, and if you as his manager would need to do any damage control. Luckily, you do not. As his manager, it leaves you in good spirits.

But as someone who actually has a crush on Yoongi, it’s less so.

That dejection only furthers itself when you see how excited Seokjin looks, like he’s already plotting the next steps to his little project.

“Ah, Y/N!” Seokjin greets carefully. “Hi, hi, congratulations on your first successful outing with Yoongi! Per the reports I’ve been seeing over social media, you guys did a very good job.”

You sigh, placing four coffee orders onto the table and sliding into the seat in front of Seokjin’s desk. “I didn’t really do that much,” You admit with a half-hearted shrug. “Yoongi did all the talking. I just waved at Nayeon through the glass window.”

“Aaahh,” Seokjin hums, opening up his laptop and turning it around in order for you to see what is on his screen. “Seems like you did a little more than that.”

Your gaze flints down to the big, bold words across the screen: THE INSIDER REPORT ON MIN YOONGI’S RADIO INTERVIEW: Employees at the K-IM Radio Station detail their experience meeting Yoongi and his girlfriend following the announcement of their relationship.

That piques your interest, and you scoot forward in your chair slightly in order to reach out and see what Seokjin is talking about. It’s not a very lengthy article—there is a summary detailing Yoongi’s interview, of course referencing his grand speech about love—but that’s not what takes up the most space.

Your eyes continue to skim over, almost not even believing what you were reading. The intern that first greeted you and Yoongi is in here, talking about how the pair of you were holding hands “in such a loving way, and the way they looked at each other before I led him to the radio booth was so romantic!” (The intern’s words, not yours). There’s even some excerpts from the employees and producers inside the radio booth, the same room you had spent the interview in. Surprisingly, a lot of the accounts are not talking about what Yoongi said. It’s all about how you looked when Yoongi was telling his story.

“It was such a powerful speech, I couldn’t help but look over to Y/N to see her reaction, and she was staring back at Yoongi in such a way that I knew immediately that the genuine nature of their love was a two-way street.”

“... a definite softness in her gaze, like she was reliving that memory with him.”

And so on, and so on.

Your face feels a little warmer when your eyes as you push the laptop away, glancing up to see Seokjin’s staring at you. “See? You did good. The small gestures you do can go a long way—especially when you don’t notice you’re doing them.”

You close the laptop, as if that can physically distance yourself from the assurances of those who had been around you. “Right…” You manage weakly.

“Well,” Seokjin hums, already moving onto the next point of the conversation. If he senses something fishy in your response, he doesn’t comment on it. “Anyways, Yoongi is in the studio right now with Namjoon, so I just want a little update report on your relationship with Yoongi. As in, how is it going between the two of you?”

You ponder this for a moment, thinking about how he took your hand in the car, how he recounted such a personal story to explain the details of his love, the look he gave you when you congratulated his storytelling abilities—like he knew something that you did not.

At the same time, it was such a minor appearance that you didn’t get much of a feel about the romantic aspect of this fake relationship. This is why you sigh. “I’m not too sure. We had such a minor acting role together that it’s hard to say. I will say that right now it feels pretty much the same.”

“Alright, fair enough,” Seokjin approves with a nod. “So you don’t have a problem if I want to plan some informal hang-outs for you and Yoongi? Just as a way to keep your guys in the public eye enough times that fans don’t start doubting your relationship.”

You smile weakly. “Of course. That’s what I signed the NDA for.”

Seokjin laughs, finally waving you off. “Okay, sure. I’ll look into where I think your relationship will make the biggest impact and will update you and Yoongi when I’ve made my decisions.” Finally, he looks over the multiple cups of coffee you had brought over on your cardboard tray, and fishes out the one with his name on it. “This one for me?”

You lean over, flickering your gaze from the cup to his face. “Well, at the very least, I know you can read now.”

His relaxed expression morphs into a playful scowl. “Get out of here brat.”

Your laughter echoes through his office as you take your cardboard tray of three coffee cups and reemerge back into the hallway of the record studio. You walk the familiar path until you reach the door to the recording room—pulling open the door and letting yourself in. Inside the booth, Yoongi is rapping away into his microphone, as his low voice fills the tiny space of this studio. You place the tray down onto one of the tables, picking up your own before sliding over to take a seat on the couch.

As you continue listening to Yoongi wistfully hum about a desire to cross an emotional distance, about how he tells the truth because “it’s you, it’s always been you”—you cannot help your mind wandering into what Seokjin has in store for you over the course of the next few months.

CHAPTER 4: TURNING POINT

Yoongi’s first full length album is set to release in two months.

At least, that’s what KSJ records claims after uploading a quarterly report of Yoongi’s schedule. At first, you don’t think it’s a big deal for Yoongi’s label to post a tentative update about his music progress, but his fans are extremely observant and catch on immediately. It’s good to draw up the hype, you suppose.

Anyways, at the rate that Yoongi is working on the songs for the album, you won’t be surprised if he manages to follow the schedule down to a T. The boy lives and breathes music, and last time you checked the album would consist partly of songs from his EP and new songs—meaning that it cuts down Yoongi’s usual workload into half. Not that he minds, at any rate.

“Okay, Min Yoongi,” Seokjin starts up, standing at the head of the meeting room which only consists of three people. Normally, with meetings with the head of KSJ records himself, there’s a lot more people around to discuss schedule, promotions, and the likes. The fact that it’s just you and Yoongi tells you exactly what you’re doing here. “It’s been a few weeks since your radio interview, and I know that you’re doing well in your progress of the album—but I think it’ll do you well to take a break.”

Yoongi huffs. “It’s nice that you’re reminding me about this, but I’ll rest when the album is released.”

Seokjin snorts. “When did I say rest? I just meant take a break from your album work. Plus you need to get some vitamin C, or whatever shit you get from the sun.”

“It’s vitamin D,” You interject gently.

“Pish posh,” Seokjin waves away your interruption. “Anyways, like I was saying, there is a way for us to kill two birds with one stone. So that you.” He points to Yoongi. “Can get out of the studio for a few hours and you.” He points to you. “Can play into a relationship that’ll help us kill two birds with one stone.”

You raise an eyebrow. “What exactly are you proposing?”

“Well,” Seokjin continues, leaning over his side of the table to get a few good at his laptop, where it appears that he has a few notes written down regarding the direction of this meeting. “In order to continue generating curiosity about Yoongi’s upcoming album and maintain the public’s constant queries about your relationship, I want you two to go on public outings. I have a few specific places I think would be good cornerstones to touch on, but I’m also willing to let the two of you figure out where you want to spend your time.” He glances up at the two of you. “That should be okay, right?”

You and Yoongi glance at each other. Come to think of it, the pair of you haven’t talked about nor reviewed the events at the radio station since it happened and the underlying questions you still have about his side of the story feels vaguely like a weight hanging over you both. But Yoongi smiles at you, and you think that you can continue to do what you’ve done for years: hide away your feelings.

“Yeah, that should be fine,” You speak up first, smiling back at Yoongi. You turn to Seokjin. “What did you have in mind?”

The question is how you find yourself in a car with Yoongi a few days later, your hands in your lap and your mind spinning with nerves. The radio interview had been one case, but a limited one at that—your role had been very minor and your interaction with Yoongi had only been seconds long. They had definitely been a lot smaller than this new role that Seokjin has assigned to you.

For today, Seokjin has directed the pair of you to the streets of Yoongi’s old stomping ground—the same shopping district with the same corner Yoongi spent all his nights performing in from a time period that seems so long enough. Not long enough, apparently, as Seokjin thinks it would be a nice nod to be ‘accidentally’ discovered walking along a place that holds so much memory.

“I just want you guys to walk around—be happy, but be close,” Seokjin had noted just a few hours prior to you and Yoongi’s departure. “Just look like the pair of you are on a date. Hold hands, smile at each other, all that jazz. Nothing too serious.”

Too bad it actually was kind of serious for you.

You and Yoongi make minor conversation, making some jokes here and there that do well in helping to ease your nerves. You don’t think Yoongi would take notice, but he can be strangely observant. Perhaps the way you keep bouncing one of your legs helps let him know that something is up.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

You stop bouncing your leg. “It kind of feels like I’m about to perform, or something—it’s that same kind of rush.”

Yoongi stares at you for a moment, before he looks out his side of the window. “Well, technically speaking, you are about to perform. You know, with this whole relationship being an act and all.”

“Very true,” You say, nodding your head. “Do we need a game plan?”

Yoongi shrugs. “I thought that we’d just wing it. We held hands back at the radio station so, uh, I’m assuming that you’re still comfortable with doing that?”

“O-Oh yeah, of course!”

“Then, we can do that. And walk around. Improvise while we do so—just see how the day goes.”

You nod. “Okay, true, true. That sounds good.” You can’t help but give him a sneaky smile. “Look at you, Min Yoongi, you’ve become quite the performer. Improvisation used to be something you were never too good at.”

Yoongi flushes a little, smiling back at you. “Give me a little credit. You gotta have backups for your backups, especially in situations when your sound gives up on you in the middle of one of your sets.”

You laugh, because this reminds you about one of Yoongi’s first live sets along the very street the pair of you will be approaching shortly. His speakers had just given up, forcing Yoongi to go entirely acapella. In a way, that mistake ended up garnering him more fans who grew to respect his craft and talent for music and singing. But as they say, hindsight is 20 20.

You and Yoongi continue to laugh about that memory for a few minutes before Taehyung arrives along the outskirts of the shopping district, pulling up along the curb. The car is on the other side of this bustling area, just a few feet away from the pedestrian walkway that is littering with people going to and fro.

Taehyung turns around in his seat to give the pair of you a look. “Now kids, I want you to call me whenever you’re ready to get picked up.” He’s grinning around the words though

You glare at him. “Sure thing dad,” You bite back, already opening the car door to take your leave. Your feet land onto the concrete of the sidewalk as you pull yourself into a standing position. Yoongi joins you shortly after, standing close to you. “Bye,” You say, slamming the door into Taehyung’s face before he can get in one last snarky reply.

Yoongi looks like he’s trying hard not to laugh for Taehyung’s benefit. But it’s an act he can only hold together for so long, because he does start to laugh as soon as Taehyung and the company car turn the corner and disappear out of sight.

After a second, Yoongi turns to you and gestures towards the pedestrian walkway just a few feet ahead. “Shall we?”

You nod, taking the hand that he extends out to you. Just an act, you tell yourself, you allow him to lace your fingers together. Nevermind the fact that the weight on your hand feels entirely too reassuring and comforting for the current context.

Ignoring that feeling, you squeeze his hand and let him lead you towards the walkway, where you cross the street with no problem. Since Yoongi nor Seokjin had announced Yoongi’s presence at this plaza for the day, you can only hope that too much attention won’t be drawn to you.

It’s a thought that you are able to entertain for a few minutes. Yoongi may not have the star quality status of mainstream celebrities (yet), but he’s still someone who has been on the radio, has done a country-wide tour, and has a youtube following of a couple million people (four now, the last time you checked—subscriber counts tend to zip by after a person hits a million). That small list of accomplishments is more than enough to drag in a few wandering eyes. Okay, maybe a little more than a few.

You think that you’ve kind of developed a seventh sense to knowing when Yoongi was being recognized. It’s shown in the double-glances some people start shooting at him, at quick whispers behind closed hands, and craning necks over shoulders.

You’re okay with people knowing about Yoongi’s current location, but the memory of his tours and even the crowd problem that came up during his street performances flashback in your mind. You don’t think you want to deal with that situation right now—secretly preferring if people just observed from a distance.

Without thinking twice, you tighten your hold on Yoongi’s hand long enough to lead him into one of the stores along the sidewalk—an accessories booth with fake glasses, rings, earrings, the likes.

Yoongi watches you, a touch of amusement in his eyes like he knows what you’re thinking. Still, he asks. “What are you doing?”

You rummage through the wide selection of glasses, fully aware that one or two people have spotted the pair of you and are lingering near the entrance to catch a glance at what you two are doing. From the looks of it, no one is going to stir up a commotion. You still want to make sure.

“You stand out,” You explain vaguely, finding a pair of circle glasses in black-rims from the pile before turning around and more or less smashing the glasses against his face. It’s difficult to try and put glasses on another person, you miss his ears a few times and almost get him in the eye, but Yoongi strangely enough lets you manhandle him.

In the midst of your last few attempts you step forward and scoot even closer to him to try and get the glasses more properly situated on his face. Due to the proximity, Yoongi’s hands fly up from his side to avoid being pressed uncomfortably against his chest, choosing to rest at your waist. At first, you don’t feel the weight of his hands, you’re too focused on making sure the fake glasses you’ve selected can fit in place.

As soon as you’ve properly aligned the glasses to his face, you lower your hands from his face. The action makes you suddenly hyper aware of the current position you’ve put yourself in. It’s not very often that you get handsy with Yoongi, it’s a side of you that comes out when the pair of you are in a hurry, but hardly during candid moments like this.

Immediately, Yoongi’s hands feel like warm flames tickling your skin, and you suddenly feel hyper aware of his position, of his closeness. Your eyes flicker up, seeing his face with those glasses you’ve just shoved onto him sitting nicely at the bridge of his nose, highlighting the intensity of his gaze. The stare he’s giving you only heightens the gravitational pull you feel towards him.

You don’t know how long the pair of you are just standing in the middle of the store, staring at each other, until you feel the weight of a third party approaching the pair of you.

You practically shove yourself away from Yoongi, trying to make it seem as if you’re just stepping back to get an overall look at his face (Yoongi featuring glasses). Yoongi lets you go.

The third party is an employee of the accessories booth, smiling widely. “Sorry to interrupt,” She says, looking over at Yoongi. “Sir, I just want to say that those glasses look great on you. And just to let you know we’re having a sale on that collection so it’s a buy one get the other one half off so maybe you two can match if you’re up to it…”

You tune her out after a second, realizing that you can’t really keep up with what she’s saying considering the current firestorm that’s going on inside your head. Why couldn’t you have just asked Yoongi to put the glasses on himself? You curse yourself for letting your guard down—sometimes you try to do things of your own accord, and today you were paying the price.

When you don’t speak after a few seconds, Yoongi smiles at the employee. “Got it, thanks a lot.” He waits until the employee returns back to rearranging some earrings on a nearby shelf before turning back to you. “How does it look?”

He does look good, but you play it down by tilting your head and settling with a shrug. “Well, you’ve looked better—but this’ll have to do.”

Yoongi laughs, before he does something that catches you off guard. He steps closer to you. “So you think there are times when I do look good?”

You try not to look too bewildered at his gesture. You can tell that he does feel a little nervous about the fact he’s testing the waters so boldly without any practice, but it’s all part of the act. Just as Seokjin said: be happy, be close.

So you place a hand on his chest, pushing him slightly with your own little teasing smile. “I said better—that doesn’t always mean you were ever good to begin with.”

Yoongi makes a noise of protest, and without warning just swings his arm around your shoulder and pulls you close to his side. “You’re breaking my heart everyday!”

“You must like the abuse, you’re still with me,” You bite back playfully without thought. For a split second, it doesn’t feel like you’re in a store with people who vaguely recognize Yoongi’s appearance—for a split second, it feels like just you and him, and everything you’ve ever wanted.

Upon Yoongi’s lips hover over the shell of your ear. “Good job, I think the group of girls outside caught our picture.”

That dreamy fantasy where it was just you and Yoongi and nothing else mattered came crashing down, squaring you right back into reality. It’s not a disappointing feeling per say—just a vague extra hammering of your heartbeat, a vague guilt that you let your mind let its guard down like that. “Right,” You say. “Uh…” You try to think, which proves to be a difficult thing to do with Yoongi’s weight pressed up against you and everything. You clap your hands together. “Okay, let’s grab a hat and then we’ll be on our way.”

You make sure to be a little less handsy when it comes to hat selections, but you knew there was only so far you could escape given the current context of the situation. Yoongi seems to know that, because he stays close to you as you’re both shifting through hats, and even when he pays for his hat and glasses combination before exiting the booth. The pair of you pass through the two girls that were lingering outside of the booth, where Yoongi gives them the smallest wave and hello before carrying on with the rest of the trip.

With the hat and glasses combination, it definitely draws less attention to Yoongi’s classic fluffy black hair and gummy smile—especially if you’re using what was going on in the beginning of your trip as a baseline. This means that you and Yoongi can carry on with the rest of your outing with feeling the obvious heavy weight of gazes on your shoulder.

With intertwined hands the pair of you first stop by one of the local cafes and sit right alongside the window to enjoy some pasta and soda combinations. You roll up the noodles onto your fork and clink utensils with Yoongi before slipping the noodles in your mouth—tomato sauce with flavor slipped into every side piece of noodle. It’s amazing, and you cannot help but gush so as you smile brightly around your fork.

You’re too busy stirring your fork around yet another string of pasta that you fail to see the softening look of the boy across the table from you. It’s a look that disappears by the time your gaze glints back up to resume the conversation. The pasta is considered a snack above all else, so it doesn’t take long for the pair of you to finish up your meal. Leaving a tip behind on the table, Yoongi walks over to you just as you’re straightening up from your chair. Silently, he offers his hand to you.

Knowing the routine by now, you take his hand, silently lacing your fingers together and letting him lead the way out of the cafe and back onto the sidewalk. The later afternoon shows itself in the steady increase of people, which is good because it makes you feel as if you can blend into the crowd either. There are still the occasional phones out, trailing after you and Yoongi as you walk along the sidewalk, but nothing that ever makes you feel as if you need to call Taehyung.

“Actually, this isn’t as bad as I thought it’d be,” You grumble to Yoongi quietly, a comment that he laughs at.

“I’m not that famous,” Yoongi jokingly teases you. “And my fans are just being respectful—give them a little credit.” His voice dies down shortly after, however, but it only takes you a few seconds to realize why.

The pair of you, in the midst of your simple ‘walk along the sidewalk’ plan, have arrived at a very familiar street corner. The sunset means that arriving performers who work best once the sun leaves are just beginning to set up their stage—laying out equipment, testing out sound systems, saying hello to some passersby who recognize the artists getting ready. You can read the signs of these interactions very easily. After all, it’s what Yoongi used to do a year ago, at this very spot too.

In front of you, a new performer, a singer, is setting up her own equipment—guitar in hand as she practices her strumming. You inch closer to Yoongi, your arms molded against each other. “Hey, hey,” You whisper at Yoongi. The boy leans over to better hear you. “She reminds me of you.”

Yoongi laughs. “What do you mean? How?”

You glance over at the girl again, not noticing the way Yoongi is still staring at you, quietly awaiting your answer. “You guys have the same drive,” You eventually note. “And the same determination. It’s easy to see in her, just as it’s always been like that for you…” You trail off, looking over to realize that he’s still looking at you.

“You noticed those things, huh?” Yoongi asks quietly.

His gaze is too enticing to look away from, pulling you in through a situation not unlike what had happened at the accessories shop earlier that afternoon. “I-I mean, of course I do…” Yoongi’s gaze feels like hot magnets that are just pulling the next words out of you. “I always notice with you.”

The world seems to quiet down at that, everything slowing down as you feel yourself mentally curse yourself out for those words. Why would you say it like that?

A million thoughts go through your head at once. You weren’t really lying or trying to play a part. You were being honest. You do always notice with Yoongi. And since he clearly only sees you as a friend that could participate in whatever scheme he can get himself into, then he would obviously hear your statement and think of it as nothing more than a friendly complement. Right? RIGHT?

Except, Yoongi is still just standing next to you, staring at you, not making any sort of comment whatsoever. He has that unreadable expression in his gaze, a look he always gives you when you let the cracks slip in your facade, but it’s something he never talks about, never explains to you—just like right now.

The silence grows tense, so tense that it begins to feel like weights on your shoulders, like a coil wrapping itself around your heart, because why isn’t he saying anything?

Yoongi hums, low and throaty and that coil around your heart drops into your stomach. “Is that so?” He inquires softly, continuing to gaze at you.

His gaze drops down to your lips, and that coil is replaced with butterflies all around you. It starts are a flutter in your stomach, in your heart, and your mind starts to race because what the fuck is happening?

Around you, the growing number of people means that someone accidentally bumps into you, driving you forward right into Yoongi’s chest. The pair of you stumble, effectively dissipating that cloud of tension that had threatened to curl through you. You cough, taking a small step away from Yoongi so that while the pair of you were still holding hands, that was the only thing connecting the pair of you.

You and Yoongi don’t have another run in like that for the remainder of the date, as that late afternoon sunset fades away into nighttime and you and Yoongi spend that time trying to enjoy each other’s presence whilst also not engaging in too much physical contact. Your fingers remain loosely intertwined but it never tightens as if the small air of space between your hands can hide away the nerves and tension you feel yourself trying to contain.

Even when Taehyung comes to pick the two of you up, and you no longer are under the obligation to hold hands, that air of space still feels heavy between the two of you.

The overwhelming positive response of your first official public date sends Seokjin through the moon, as well as provides him with a drive to arrange and send you and Yoongi out on more dates. All of which, fortunately for you, don’t come nearly as close to the level of tension experienced from the first date. Partly because you know your limits, and go into each planned date with a level of expectation for yourself as well as rules that you’ve internally programmed yourself to follow every time you and Yoongi step out of the car.

At the museum date, you make sure to keep your distance, using your intertwined hands with Yoongi as the only signal of your relationship. The pair of you joke around about the art pieces, whispering between each other about how many fans have taken pictures of the pair of you lingering about the museum, as well as relay information to each other about various rooms that you are interested in. But in a way, it definitely feels more like a typical friendly hang-out rather than a date.

The same idea can be applied to the next date Seokjin sends you on—a casual date at one of the local botanical gardens, each garden filled with a different culture to serve as the theme for its layout and plant growth. Some gardens have little cafe booths and grassy fields to buy some snacks before sitting down to enjoy the sunlight, which is an idea that Yoongi suggests that the two of you do. He points to one of the ice cream shops along the outskirts of a garden, and claims a seat on one of the benches so the two of you can enjoy your treat. The current summertime weather emits a warmer heat and breeze that curls lightly through the air throughout the day, making for a perfectly comfortable season to wear a sundress. It’s also the kind of undetectable weather for ice cream to melt down the cone, onto unsuspecting fingers curled into the dry waffle texture. Yoongi makes that well aware by poking your cheek with his sticky finger, garnering several pictures of the encounter.

Seokjin has even tried to implement studio life into his constant narrative to keep up the facade of your relationship with Yoongi. While the pair of you go on these occasional dates, Yoongi also has a deadline to fulfill with his album release. On the days where dates are not planned out, he’ll be in the studio—rearranging songs to fit in with the music beats that have more or less been tapered down to perfection. As his manager, sometimes you find yourself staying past your allotted time slot of being at the studio, before sneaking into the recording booth way past midnight to see what Yoongi and Namjoon are up to.

Just as it follows: you straighten up, craning your neck backwards a little to allow for slight muscle extensions after sitting at a desk for an extra hour too long. With Yoongi’s album steadily approaching, there are interviews that need to be arranged, magazines and newspapers and radio shows alike all reaching out to you for the opportunity to cover Yoongi’s growth as an artist. Albums also equate to tours to help promote the album, and with the close call from Yoongi’s last experience with such, it means that you need to book more locations—or the same location across multiple dates.

Overall, the growing pile of work means that you and everyone else at KSJ Studios are just as anticipated for Yoongi’s album release as the general public. It seems as if his collective fanbase are hoping and waiting under the same parameters: was the album going to be as good as they were expecting?

You shoulder your purse, stepping out of your office and shutting it behind you. You navigate through the hallways, glancing sideways to peek out the long glassway of windows, all overlooking the city skyline, the multicolor lights flickering ahead in the distance. You quirk a lip.

Your usual brisk pace dies down when you pass the studio you know Yoongi and Namjoon are recording in. The soundproof walls inside mean that hardly any music ever seeps out from between the cracks, only heightening your curiosity. Your busy schedule recently has made it so you have hardly been able to hear what Yoongi and Namjoon have come up with.

You glance down at your watch. It was nearing midnight. Well, you think to yourself, a little peek wouldn’t hurt. You reach over to grip the door handle, pushing it down and pushing it open. Inside is the usual scene: Yoongi behind the glass, his fingers curled around the headphones as he speaks into the microphone. His voice filters through the main studio area, where Namjoon sits behind computers and music panels, capturing every single second of what is going on.

Further driven by curiosity, you find yourself pulling harder at the door to let yourself in. Namjoon turns at the sound, but softens a little when he sees that it’s you.

“Burning the midnight oil?” You tease, standing next to Namjoon at the table, watching Yoongi’s closed eyes as he loses himself in the song.

Namjoon grins back. “You’re not gonna tell us to stop, are you?”

“Hey.” You bring both arms up in a sign of surrender. “I’m off the clock on this one. Just wanted to see what you two were up to.”

Suddenly, Yoongi calls your name from behind the glass, as the noise is amplified through the studio. You jump slightly, having not expected to be noticed so soon. Yoongi waves. “It’s late!” He calls. “What are you still doing here?”

You lean forward to press the button that opens the two-way communication. “I’m not sure you heard, but there’s an artist in this studio that’s working on an upcoming album—it’s causing a lot of pain for the rest of us.”

Yoongi laughs at that. “Touche, touche.” He brightens up slightly. “Hey, we’re wrapping up on this song, so if you stick around I’ll drive you home.”

This is a natural offer for Yoongi to make, considering the extent to which you’ve spent long nights here. Brushing it off as nothing more than Yoongi just being a good pal, you nod and flash him a thumbs up. “Sounds good, sounds good. But take your time. Don’t let me get in the way.”

You turn around, allowing the music of Yoongi’s song to refilter back through the studio. You park yourself atop the couch at the back, settling into the soft cushions. Come to think of it, falling asleep definitely isn’t the worst thing in the world to do—especially on this couch. And you’re exhausted, what with scheduling events all day and having to burn through your social battery by making one too many phone calls with various people within the industry.

The last thing you remember is Yoongi’s soft humming that fades away into a quiet static.

You jerk awake after what feels like a few minutes—but judging from your new position on the couch (horizontal this time, instead of vertical) and the blanket that has been tucked under your chin, you realize quickly that this few minutes has actually been a few hours. It might be hard to believe that, because the world around you still seems very similar to what it had been when you fell asleep. The lack of windows in the studio make it very difficult to distinguish time—although Yoongi’s voice sounds much closer than it had when you first fell asleep.

You sit up.

Namjoon and Yoongi jolt at your sudden movement. “Woah! She’s awake now,” Yoongi teases.

Blinking for a few seconds, you turn your head to find Yoongi out of the recording booth and instead sitting at one of the tables in the actual studio setting. Surrounding Namjoon and Yoongi looks like an entire McDonalds family meal: chicken nuggets, $1 menu burgers, lots of french fries…

You let out a breath to help further situate you to your new surroundings. “Min Yoongi…” You start, voice hoarse. “You said you were just finishing up.”

“I was,” Yoongi explains, looking vaguely guilty. Only vaguely though. “But I had this sudden epiphany, like holy shit you really had to be here—it was crazy.”

“I was here,” You choke out.

Yoongi waves you off. “You know what I mean—here here. Anyways, yeah, we realized that we couldn’t leave, especially when I got Namjoon on the same page. He was just as excited as I was!”

Namjoon slaps his hand. “Don’t drag me into this!”

Yoongi ignores him. “Anyways, it’s like two in the morning and we got hungry. McDonalds is the food of champions, after all. You hungry? Here, have some water first.” He grabs a bottle of water from the table and unscrews the cap. Suddenly, he’s standing up and making his way towards the couch. He sits down next to you, offering the water to you. “Here. You must be thirsty.”

You are. Still heavy-lidded too, but you try your best to blink away the exhaustion as you blindly reach for the water and manage to grab it after Yoongi adjusts his own angled arm. He watches you as you tilt your head back to down some of the water, accidentally drinking a little more than your mouth can handle. Some of it slides down the corner of your lip, making you angle your head back properly and remove your lips from the bottle head.

Yoongi softens a little at your clumsy nature, tugging the sleeve of his long-sleeved forward in order to pat the corner of your mouth. “Aw, look at my tiny little baby, can’t even drink water properly,” He coos.

You flinch slightly away from him, trying for a glare that comes out more like a pout. Yoongi laughs softly at the sight. “There are no cameras around us, Min Yoongi,” You grumble out. “You don’t need to be so attentive.”

“Nevermind that, I’m just trying to be a friend. You want a french fry?” He reaches across the space separating the couch from the table, and grabs the box of salty french fries. His voice carries that usual positive disposition from previously, but the light in his eyes has died down a little. You don’t notice it, too busy looking at the french fries and realizing that you are actually a little hungry.

The remainder of Yoongi and Namjoon’s break is dedicated to finishing up the family meal, before Yoongi looks at the clock and claps his hands together. “Hey Namjoon, I think I should take my girl home before we get back to working. Is that okay?”

Namjoon’s eyes flicker between the two of you, but he relents. “Of course.” He utters your name. “Have a good night.”

“I should be saying that to you,” You return teasingly, more of your senses have returned since putting food into your stomach. “See you tomorrow, Namjoon.”

So Yoongi takes you home, driving through the darkened streets, making light conversation with you, completely ignoring the fact that he has just addressed you as his girl, before your phone starts to buzz in your lap. It’s a notification from Instagram, saying that Namjoon has tagged you in a picture. Raising an eyebrow, you tap the alert, which takes you to a picture from just a few minutes ago—you and Yoongi at the studio, Yoongi tapping gently at your face with his sweater paw. The caption burns into your mind: three am company, ft my favorite artist and his favorite girl.

His favorite girl.

His girl.

CHAPTER 5: HIS GIRL

Yoongi’s album is entitled Y2, and it releases in the autumn, when the leaves are colored orange and the breeze has called for cozy jackets and big sweaters. It’s the perfect attire to wear as the earphones get plugged in and slipped into ears—curled up by soft cashmere and Yoongi’s luring voice. He’s got about sixteen songs on the album, a sweet mixture of loose beats and soft vocal voices that seem to simultaneously battle the drawn out harsh tone of stories extended across various three minute arrangements. The stories cover the low point—passive aggressive fights, of late nights, of “holding your hand, being so close, yet feeling so lonely”. But the songs also touch on the high points—coming back together, of soft morning light, of “being with you, wiping the traces of exhaustion from the corner of your lips, so close yet so far away, and still knowing you’re all I [he] could ever want”.

At least, it is what one article touches upon in a Y2 review, where the journalist gives high remarks to Yoongi’s album. She calls it a refreshing interpretation of music, continuing in the era of singers actually singing about their feelings. More than that, an era of storytelling in music. Of anything, of life, of the highs and the lows—the sadness, the happiness, the softness.

Safe to say that Yoongi is very excited to read this review on his phone, along with the surplus of positive things people have to say—from highly regarded journalists who belong to highly regarded newspaper companies, from social media, from his friends and family. Most especially, from you. You: whose hand he holds underneath the table as the numbers of listens start pouring in from various streaming websites.

He’s been nervous about this. He’s put his blood, sweat, and tears into the creation of this album, every song has been nailed down to perfection. His name, and his heart, is back out into the world.

The night of the album release is the launch party.

“Dude, it’s supposed to be a chill night,” Jungkook calls from the hallway, and you can’t help but laugh at how exasperated the boy sounds. “Would you just calm down?” Jungkook emerges from the aforementioned hallway. Despite his mention of this ‘chill night’, he’s still wearing something vaguely casual chic. “You’re his manager. Manage his overthinking tendencies.”

You laugh, watching as Jungkook plops down into the empty spot next to you on the couch, immediately leaning back into the cushion. “You know as well as I do that I don’t have that much control over him.”

Jungkook shrugs his shoulders. “You probably have more control than you think.”

Before you can ask more questions, think more deeply into what the fuck Jungkook means by that, his eyes land on the hallway entrance before straightening up in the cusion. Your eyes follow Jungkook’s movement, where Yoongi is now standing in the once vacant space of his apartment. But his stance isn’t what gets you to stare, what makes your breath feel like it has just caught in your chest. Although he’s following the ‘casual chic’ dress code that Seokjin has ordered, there’s something about a white t-shirt that hits differently when it’s paired with a coat and dark jeans that highlight his long legs.

Yoongi gestures down at what he’s wearing meekly. “What do you think?” Although it appears that he’s addressing both you and Jungkook, his gaze is almost entirely fixed on you.

Trying hard to ignore the racing of your heart, you straighten up and somehow manage to make your way over to him without snapping your ankle on your chunky platform boots. Doing your best to pay attention to his outfit over his face, you reach over to straighten out the silver necklace he’s got dangling at his chest. “You look good,” You settle calmly. “And Jungkook is right—it’s supposed to be a chill night. Seokjin just invited people from the label. And some of your friends as well. Relax a bit, will you?”

Finally, you force yourself to level your gaze with Yoongi’s, fully confident that he’s just staring at you and probably wondering why you aren’t making eye contact with him. But when you do manage to glance at Yoongi’s face, you realize quickly that he’s not even staring at you. Instead, he’s staring down, at the curve of your throat.

Without warning, your cardiac system seems to pump itself too hard, because your breath of surprise comes out through your nose, effectively bringing up and lowering your lungs so fast that anyone would be able to read your vital sounds now. This proves to be true, because Yoongi’s gaze darts up from your neck to your eyes so quickly, that you probably wouldn’t have noticed had you stuck around without looking at his eyes. Doing that, however, might have saved you from this now tricky situation. “Sorry,” Yoongi manages, eyes flickering between yours. “I, uh, didn’t hear what you said.”

You realize the gravity of your position—your fingers now curled around the lapels of Yoongi’s jacket and one of his hands curled around your waist. That gravitational pull from every single one of your dates with Yoongi comes back again, curling around your neck and seeming to push you closer, closer—!

Jungkook coughs loudly from behind you.

You and Yoongi tear your gazes away from each other, as you uncurl both of your fingers from around Yoongi’s coat. “I-uh,” You start. “Was just saying that you should relax a little. You don’t have to try and impress anyone tonight.”

Yoongi sneaks one last glance at you. “We’ll see,” He says, before stepping away from you and brushing past Jungkook to make his way towards the door. Jungkook turns to look at you, wide-eyed and mouthing the words ‘what the fuck was that?’

To which you shake your head, very sure that you don’t want to get into this tonight of all nights. This was supposed to be a celebration for Yoongi. Just as you’ve done for the past few months, you can continue to keep your emotions in check. Easy-peasy.

Except it’s not easy-peasy because you see Seokjin at the club that he’s reserved for Yoongi’s album release party, and you realize that this is not a chill event for you—you still have to keep up the facade of your relationship in front of everyone.

Yoongi seems to realize this at the same time you do, because he inches closer to you and laces your fingers together. From afar, Seokjin nods in an unspoken confirmation regarding your behavior.

The beginning of the party starts with the trickle in of the various guests Seokjin has invited—from the friends he has made in the business, to others signed under the KSJ records label, to you, Jungkook, and Yoongi’s personal friends from college. The onslaught of new people fills you with the usual sense of excitement after not having attended a party in what feels like years. Working as a manager for a budding new artist is a lot less about the parties and more about the hustle.

The first hour of the event is dedicated to the mingling of people—of free food and conversations around the bottomless cocktails that every guest rushes to the bar to take full advantage of. It’s nice to be able to catch up with the friends that you and Yoongi haven’t spoken to since graduation—which is the group you and Yoongi first approach, as Yoongi is slinging his arm around one Park Jimin. The latter whose eyes widen and lips curl up into a grin at the sight of the two of you. It’s nice to see an old friend again, it almost brings you back to a time where you and Yoongi were both in-tune and surface-level friends.

“Hey, congratulations on the new album release!” Jimin exclaims brightly after the three of you have acquired some drinks from the bartender. Jimin raises his drink first, to which you and Yoongi follow suit.

As the glasses clink into the air, Jimin adds in another thing that reminds you of the fact that you and Yoongi are not back in college. You are here, in the present, with a fake relationship on the line.

“And congratulations to your relationship announcement,” Jimin continues.

You cough on your drink at that, lowering the glass immediately, feeling guilty all of a sudden. “Jimin, I know what all those reports have been saying…”

“Don’t worry,” Jimin brushes off. “I read through some of them. You guys have been dating for three years, right? I’m honestly surprised I never saw it. In hindsight, it makes sense.” Jimin takes a longer sip, gesturing towards Yoongi with a noise of acknowledgement coming from his throat. “Hm—I guess because you guys are dating now, I can let the cat out of the bag—but, Yoongi liked you from the first moment he met you.”

Now it’s Yoongi’s turn to choke on his drink, his chest heaving as he coughs into his sleeve. “Jimin, ah, you don’t need to talk about that—!”

Jimin laughs, naturally assuming that Yoongi’s choke was done out of shyness and not something deeper than that. “What, you think just because this happened when we were at college, I wouldn’t have said something all these years later?”

You can’t help but smile at their exchange. Although Jimin’s comment about Yoongi’s crush definitely piques your interest. You turn to Yoongi. “You had a crush on me back then?”

Yoongi opens his mouth, but Jimin beats him to it. “Oh yeah, he wouldn’t shut up about you—said that you had this smile like starlight and were super easy to talk to.”

“You have a great memory for someone who almost flunked college algebra,” Yoongi bites out hotly.

Jimin, clearly oblivious to the situation, laughs out loud. “I agree. Normally I would have forgotten all about that. But.” With Jimin’s fingers still curled around the wine glass, he is only able to point an index finger out at Yoongi. “I’ll never forget that look in your eyes. Like you saw something you were never going to let go of.”

You know Jimin is the one talking, but you cannot help but look at Yoongi as you feel your world spinning slightly around you. You blame it on the alcohol—as small of a sip as you have taken so far. Jimin, unlike a lot of the other parties you’ve been spending your time with, is not in on the joke of your relationship with Yoongi being a PR cover story. So there has to be some merit to it. Right?

Right?

Before you can even think how to phrase the billions of questions flying through your mind, the soft beat of a hand against a microphone sounds through the bar, as the original music that has been pounding through the club gets lowered to show that someone is trying to command everyone’s attention.

It’s Kim Seokjin, situated at the stage, with the microphone in hand. “Hey everyone! Before we actually start unveiling the numbers that Y2 has hit so far, I just want to say a few words. First of all, thank you everyone so much for joining us tonight as we celebrate the anticipated release of Min Yoongi’s album.”

Lots of claps sound from the guests, several cheers, one of you and Jimin join in just for the sake of embarrassing Yoongi. If he’s flustered with the attention, he’s gotten a lot better at hiding it.

“Actually,” Seokjin continues. “Why don’t we have the man of the hour join us? After all, my words don’t mean shit up here—I wasn’t the one who just released new music. Yoongi, come on up!”

Lots more claps and cheers, and the music volume increases dramatically just to give Yoongi some sort of platform to enter on. It makes you laugh. Seokjin is clearly having fun with his role. So you watch, sticking by Jimin, as Yoongi emerges from the crowd to step onto the stage. Seokjin pulls the microphone away from the pair of them as he leans over to whisper something into Yoongi’s ear, where the latter nods a few times before accepting the microphone that is now being extended out to him.

Yoongi clears his throat, speaking over the lowering music. “Hi guys, thanks so much for coming out,” He starts, laughing a little when there is another round of cheers. “As I’m sure a lot of you know, this is my first full length album that’s being released out into the world and it’s basically everything I ever could have dreamed of. One lesson that I’ve learned is that making albums of both the cover songs I did and the original songs I would produce in my shitty college apartment is a completely different experience than getting professional equipment to do a lot of the work for me.”

You laugh at that, the memories floating through your mind.

Yoongi smiles a little at the feedback he gets. But he continues. “And of course a lot of that professional equipment was able to work in my favor because I had helped. Seokjin of course, deserves a thank you for letting me learn and experiment with new sounds, and for letting me take a risk by trying out beats and stories that a lot of people might have turned down. And Namjoon.” He seems to spot Namjoon from the crowd, because he delivers a nod. “For being more than my favorite producer, but also my mentor and my guide. We had a lot of lightbulb late nights together. And finally…” His eyes land on you, and you feel yourself self-consciously straighten up. “Y/N—my Y/N. For those of you who don’t know, my girlfriend is my manager and we recently made our relationship public. I thought the transition from private to public would have been the hardest thing of my life, but she made it so easy. Just as she’s always made it so easy to inspire my music, to be my best friend—and to love her.”

Love.

You suddenly feel like you’re seeing the world through a small lens, unable to believe the words you are hearing and the sights you are seeing. Yoongi is staring right back at you, with all this love and adoration in his eyes, lips quirking up as a result of the coos from the audience.

It’s a vague kind of spotlight anxiety from seeing so many people looking at you considering the circumstances. It’s a feeling that only heightens when Yoongi opens his mouth again to continue speaking. “Actually, honey, why don’t you come up here, so I can thank you properly.”

The whoops and cheers sound again, and Jimin has to nudge you in the ribs to get you to move. Your initial thoughts are one of panic, suspicion, and curiosity. One glance at Seokjin’s direction conveys the high influx of questions that are flowing through your mind—what exactly are those two boys planning?

Yoongi’s hand extends out to you, helping you up onto the stage, as you turn around to face the crowd of people Yoongi has just been addressing. Of course, you have less experience hiding your general shyness around crowds, so the most you can muster is a smile and a wave.

Yoongi laughs into the microphone. “Don’t worry baby, I didn’t call you up to embarrass you. I just wanted to show you that all of this…” He gestures to the whole club, the crowds of people who have taken time out of their schedule to show support, the sounds of his album now filtering through the speakers. “All of this was possible because you believed in me, you supported me, and agreed to help me work toward my dream. This is all as much yours as it is mine.”

Then, he surprises you by leaning forward to brush his lips across your cheek—a gesture that further incites a bigger reaction of positive cheers and hoots from the audience. You turn your head immediately towards him as soon as he pulls away, your eyes wide with surprise. After all, you and Yoongi have never discussed the rule on kissing before, have never brought up any sort of lip contact to any degree. His boldness is something that takes you completely off guard.

And judging from the uncertain look that dances behind his eyes, a flicker that only you can see and decipher, you can tell that he hadn’t been expecting that from himself either.

You’re about to pull away, maybe walk off the stage and take another drink to whatever the fuck that was all about, before Jimin’s familiar voice sounds off from within the crowd.

“You call that a kiss, Min Yoongi?” Jimin calls, close enough now that it’s easier to see him. “C’mon, kiss your girlfriend like you mean it!”

The rest of the crowd immediately catches onto what Jimin is doing, and they play into it immediately. Suddenly, shouts of “KISS HER, KISS HER!” sound throughout the guests.

The new direction that this has taken over the span of just a few seconds seconds you into another wild onslaught of differing emotions. Nevermind the fact that you’ve never agreed to actually kiss Min Yoongi. Obviously, the internal choice has been made for a handful of reasons, none of which you can explain to Yoongi or Seokjin without digging yourself further into this hole where you would truly have no way of escaping.

Which is why you clearly can’t say anything of protest right now. Everyone thinks the pair of you have been dating for years, and that kissing has become a natural action for you both to do. Of course they would play into Jimin’s game, thinking nothing harmful of it.

Your heart pounds loudly in your ears as you shift your gaze from the crowd of people before you to Yoongi, who looks equally as stunned by the request as you. He plays it off a little bit, however, smiling as he brings the microphone close to his mouth again. “I’m not sure you all would want to be subjected by some PDA, especially you over there, Park.”

Jimin makes a noise of disapproval. “It’ll just be this one time! I’m sure people don’t mind! Spread the love, Min.”

Other people from the guest list add on that they don’t mind in between their laughter and giggles, probably writing off you and Yoongi’s shy disposition as just that: a shy, private couple who is still getting used to the watchful eye of the general public. Nevermind the fact that you and Yoongi have just never kissed each other before.

Yoongi then turns to look at you, microphone down to his legs so that it can’t pick up the small whispers the pair of you start exchanging. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought you up here…”

“No, no, it’s fine, I understand why you did it…” You trail off. “Kissing my cheek, on the other hand…”

Yoongi groans. “Yeah, that’s my bad. Seokjin said I could consider doing it but I wasn’t thinking when I leaned over. I completely forgot that Jimin is a menace to society. I’m gonna kick his ass after this.”

You want to continue this private, side-lined conversation, but it is overrun by the louder voices that keep repeating the same two lines over and over again: “KISS HER, KISS HER!” until the echoes of it start ringing in your ear drums.

Yoongi switches topics to the more pressing one at hand. “So, uh, I guess we should…”

You exhale quickly, nodding. “It seems so…”

Yoongi inches closer to you, his breath fanning your lips as your eyes instinctively close. “I’m sorry,” He whispers, the final thing he says to you before he kisses you.

Now, let’s backtrack a little. You’ve liked Yoongi for years, so to say that you’ve never thought of this moment would just be a lie to yourself. Of course you’ve thought about kissing Yoongi. Or, at the very least, you’ve caught yourself staring at his lips when he would go off on another spiral about his passions. That type of talking is very hot, so what?

But you never thought you would be able to experience it, to kiss the lips you’ve flickered your eyes to more times than you’re willing to admit. So as soon as you feel the weight of his mouth against your own, your brain goes haywire. Suddenly, all your senses are hyper focused on Yoongi—from his lips, to the warmth of his body wrapping itself around you, to his fingers curled around your wrist.

You hardly hear the cheers from the audience, too busy allowing your heart to melt into butterflies as he presses harder into you, moving his lips against yours. You part your lips as well, curling your wrist to gather the material of his shirt into your hands.

It feels like time has stretched out before Seokjin claps both of you on the back, forcing you to jolt away from Yoongi. He actually looks flustered this time—pink cheeks and reddened lips, his eyes are fixated on you, chest heaving. You feel like you’re in a similar state of shock, especially because kissing Yoongi makes something dawn on you. A realization of ice cold water.

This isn’t just a crush you’ve harbored on Yoongi for the past few years. This isn’t just some small schoolgirl crush living out a fantasy, or something you can easily brush off, or simple butterflies you can squash everytime he reaches out to hold your hand. This is love. You’re in love with your best friend. And you have absolutely no fucking clue what to do about it.

If the audience is taken aback by this long-term couple in front of them looking zero point two seconds away from devouring each other in a frenzied passion, no one settles long enough to comment or stare upon it for too long. Seokjin does well to grab the microphone from Yoongi and bring the attention back to the actual party on hand. He mentions another round of free alcohol, which are two words that can take anyone’s attention away.

“And Yoongi, uh, I actually need to borrow for you a moment,” Seokjin murmurs in a low voice. “So I hope I’m not taking away from…” He trails off, gesturing awkwardly between the two of you. “Whatever this is…”

“Oh no!” You interject quickly, taking a step away from Yoongi. “Not taking away at all.”

Yoongi gives you a concerned look. “Maybe we should, uh, talk about that…”

You shake your head. “No, it’s okay, seriously.” You shrug a shoulder. “Just part of the act, right?”

Yoongi’s concern melts away into something that might be hurt, but it’s gone just as quickly as it had come. “I’ll try not to be long then.”

You nod. “Yeah, no problem—no need to rush or anything… I’ll just be hanging out with Jimin…”

Yoongi gazes at you for a few seconds longer, before he lets himself get dragged off the stage by Seokjin. Rather than immediately go out to seek your old friend, you find your gaze following after the two of them, trying to see where exactly Yoongi is getting roped into.

You continue to trail after them in the club, until the two of them are pulled into a booth—the person opposite of them makes your lips part in utter shock.

“Yoongi, I want you to meet an old friend of mine,” Seokjin starts as he and Yoongi dive deeper into the thrones of people. Yoongi feels himself being directed towards a corner booth, currently occupied by two people. “She wanted me to introduce you.” Finally, the pair of them stop at the head of the table. “This is Lee Jieun.”

Right off the bat, Yoongi is vaguely insulted that Seokjin thought that someone like Lee Jieun needed an introduction—because who wouldn’t know who Lee Jieun?

Lee Jieun, like Yoongi, is a singer-songwriter with a sweetheart reputation, who weaves stories and experiences through her music. But unlike Yoongi, who got his start through Youtube and built himself from the ground up, Lee Jieun signed into a record label at the age of 15. As one could tell, she was that talented. Still is, as a matter of fact. Her albums are continuously winning awards, establishing herself in the charts, connecting with people all over the world. He would know—when Yoongi finally discovered Jieun in the midst of his Youtuber days, it was the catalyst that served as the biggest influence towards the release of his original songs. The fact that they’re both the same age only makes Yoongi even more in awe of her.

Yoongi being able to see Lee Jieun, in the flesh, is a powerful enough sight to leave him speechless.

Lee Jieun sits at the booth, looking all prettied up with her big eyes and red lips. Everything about her seems regal, from the smile she flashes Yoongi to the hand she extends out towards him.

It takes a second for Yoongi to register what he needs to do. Hastily, he steps forward and takes her hand in his. Despite her delicate nature, her handshake is firm as the pair of them move their joined hands up and down once. Honestly, considering their status difference, he feels like a handshake is too casual for them, but he doesn’t speak of it. He just basks in the moment, until he lets go of her hand.

Afterwards, he joins Seokjin in the booth, sliding into his seat.

Jieun smiles brightly at the two of them. “Thank you for going out of your way to come talk to me. I hope I wasn’t disrupting your night.”

Yoongi shakes his head immediately. “Oh, god no. Of course not. I’m just—I’m really honored to see you here. I-I had no idea that you were friends with Seokjin.”

Jieun laughs. “Oh yeah, we go way back—we were actually signed under the same label. Seokjin left to pursue management a few years ago, but we’ve always kept in touch.” She reaches over to take her glass of soda from the table. “He told me when he signed you, you know. He said that you were doing street performances a few cities down?”

Yoongi flushes at that. “Oh yeah—my origin story.”

“I mean, everyone starts from somewhere,” Jieun brushes off, laying down her cup again. “So I’ve honestly been looking out for your name since Seokjin signed you. I heard about your tour, but knew that I wanted to wait until your first full length album just to make sure your reputation was a little more fleshed out before bringing up my idea with Seokjin.”

Yoongi blinks, switching his gaze from Jieun to Seokjin. The latter nods, as if to let him know that Jieun would be the one providing information. So Yoongi turns back to Jieun.

Jieun continues. “Since it seems that we’ve both developed a songwriting, storytelling reputation amongst the music industry, I was hoping that you’d agree to do a collaboration with me. Just one single, both of our names attached to it. It’s been awhile since I worked with another artist, and I’m sure that doing this will only further put your name out there. It could also be a really good learning experience.”

Yoongi almost cannot believe his ears. Lee Jieun wanted to do a collaboration? With him and his inexperienced ass?

Yoongi coughs out in wonder. “Wow.”

Jieun smirks. “Not what you were expecting?”

“No, no, not at all!” Yoongi reassures, but then he backpedals a little. “I mean, it’s not that I was expecting you to ask for a collaboration—I just—!” He cuts himself off, exhaling heavily to calm his nerves. “It’s just, you were a very big reason I even wanted to sing my original songs back when I was street performing. So the fact that you’re asking me to do a song together is honestly so crazy to me.”

Jieun grins. “I’m honored—so are you agreeing to my request?”

Almost on instinct, Yoongi turns to Seokjin. It’s not that Yoongi doesn’t want to do the collab, it’ll probably be the single most greatest thing to happen in his career, but Seokjin was technically his boss and their contract had it so Seokjin usually had to final say in what he believed would be best for him.

And for the briefest flicker of a second, Yoongi’s mind switches to you. More than Seokjin’s approval, he finds himself seeking your praise the most. After all, you know how much he admires Lee Jieun. He wants to share this moment with you.

Instead of jumping up to go find you, he forces himself to stay rooted to his seat. “I-I think I would be the one who feels honored. T-That is, if Seokjin says it’s okay.”

Seokjin holds his arms out. “Of course it’s okay! The collaboration was also partly my idea. Anywho.” He turns back to Jieun. “We’ll have to run through Yoongi’s schedule with his manager just to see when he’s available. But after that, we can get started.”

At the mention of you, Yoongi’s manager, Jieun’s eyes brighten with her smile. “Oh yes, your girlfriend.” She sits a little straighter, trying to seek you out. “She’s here at the event right? I’d really love to meet her, if that’s okay?”

Yoongi nods immediately. “O-Of course!” He also sits up a little straighter, moving about in his seat to try and locate you. He finds you near the bar, seeming to have ditched your hang-out with Jimin, as you take an occasional sip of your drink. “She’s over there.”

With a nod, the three of them move out of the booth and towards the bar, where you’re still slouched over, scrolling through Instagram on your phone. You seem to notice their approaching presence, because you take a quick glance over to acknowledge them, before doing a double take when you realize who else is in Yoongi’s company.

“Oh my gosh!” You exclaim, immediately sliding out of your bar stool, your gaze fixated on Jieun.

Seokjin laughs at your starstruck reaction. “Y/N, this is Lee Jieun—but I’m guessing you already knew that?”

You seem to realize your behavior, because your shyness comes back. “I do. Um, hi! It’s really nice to meet you.” You reach over to offer your hand.

Jieun takes it, shaking for a second. “The pleasure is all mine.”

Your gaze immediately flints to Yoongi. “Yoongi, you didn’t tell me that you were acquainted with Lee Jieun herself!”

Yoongi waves you off. “Actually, Seokjin is the mutual party.”

Your lips part in shock, as you nod once, twice, in understanding. “Well, uh, in that case, I hope you’re having a good time tonight, Jieun.”

“It’s really a wonderful launch party,” Jieun praises. “But I do admit to having ulterior motives. I actually came by to ask Yoongi if he wanted to work on a collab song with me.”

Your lips part, and Yoongi feels a vague sense of pride swell up in his chest when you turn to look at him, eyes brighter than they have been all night. “Yoongi! That’s so amazing! I hope you agreed.”

“I did, actually,” Yoongi says with the nod of his head. If you notice that he’s puffing his chest out a little as your words go straight to his head, you don’t comment on it. “We’ll definitely have to go over my schedule with you, pick some dates where Jieun and I can have some writing sessions, and then the recording sessions, just to name the big picture stuff that’ll have to get done. But we should all be good to go.”

As Yoongi continues to list everything that’ll need to be done in order to create music together, your gaze shifts between Yoongi and Jieun occasionally, taking in their equal excitement and passion for the long project ahead. It isn’t until the end, when you and Yoongi leave the launch party, after having collected praise and much more from the many friends and connections that have been gained throughout the night, you enter the car wearing an unreadable expression—like you’re pondering something that threatens to break you.

To be frank, you aren’t surprised that Lee Jieun asks Yoongi to collaborate together. Sure, maybe she came a little earlier than you had expected, but you always knew it was a matter of time before the pair of them met. Their reputations are too similar, their personalities too good together; you’re sure that fate would have lined them up at some point.

It just feels like maybe the universe made them a little too perfect for each other—and it’s something that becomes glaringly obvious as a month of songwriting goes by without a hitch. Every few days, Jieun would turn up to KSJ Records, bright-eyed and always looking so, so pretty. Every few days, Jieun and Yoongi would sit next to each other, conversing about the story of their song, both bright-eyed with unbridled affection for what they were writing. And sure, Namjoon would be a part of these songwriting sessions. But that’s not the point.

The point is that as Yoongi gets bigger and success becomes a more natural occurrence in his life, the more people he’s going to meet with whom he shares a common interest and dedication for. People he would probably (most definitely) get along with a lot better than he could get along with you. Friendship is nice and all, but it can’t substitute for the powerful combination of passion, intimacy, and commitment that comes out of romantic companionship.

And you see it in his eyes: the excitement he gets when he’s surrounded with like-minded people. You’re Yoongi’s manager, sure, and one of his best friends, obviously, but there’s only so much you can contribute to conversations about the actual music. Truth be told, when it comes to editing, you just do whatever Yoongi tells you to. And don’t even get you started on the music arrangements—you can’t even lift a candle to what Yoongi himself can do. Or Namjoon. Or especially Lee Jieun.

And although you know that Yoongi means no ill-intention, it feels as if he takes every opportunity to remind you of that fact.

“I mean, she’s amazing.” He’s sighing dreamily over his bulgogi. The pair of you are at a corner booth in a Korean barbeque restaurant, on another fake date Seokjin has prearranged for you. It’s not the first date you’ve been on since Jieun entered the picture, and it’s definitely not the first time Yoongi is bringing her up. And although this isn’t even a real date, and although this isn’t a real relationship, there’s only so much you can take—both as a friend and as someone who is starting to feel the curl of jealousy in your stomach.

Still, you refuse to let the cat out of the bag. So you sigh, picking up your chopsticks and digging into your meat. The only thing you can manage is: “I bet she is.”

But Yoongi doesn’t stop there. “You should have seen her today, she was on fire. Songwriting abilities, obviously. We were stuck on this one part of the song, but then she just swooped in with this perfect one-liner that made my heart drop. Seriously, it was so cool. I don’t know how her mind works, but I want to keep hanging out with her to learn more.”

You almost drop your meat completely into your salt dish, but you recover quickly with a cough. The noise helps cover up the fact that your heart feels the white-hot burn of frustration and confusion. “W-Well, you guys do make a good team. You know, being on the same level talent-wise.”

Yoongi laughs at that, completely oblivious to your state of mind. “Talent-wise? I wouldn’t say I’m anywhere near the level Jieun is at…”

As he trails off, you dare yourself to flicker your gaze up to him, seeing the pink flush that dusts along his cheeks. Interpreting this as shyness for the internal praise and fondness he has for Jieun, you look away and pick up the plate of raw beef brisket to dump into the grill.

Yoongi notices what you’re doing, and immediately reaches over to take the plate from you. “Here, let me do it.”

A part of you wants to fight about it, but you know doing so will just lead you down the path of no man’s land. So you let go, offering the tongs to Yoongi as he takes it to scrap the meat into the grill between the two of you. He takes the silence as an opportunity to further gush about Jieun, and how he can’t wait to work on music arrangements with her, how he’s excited to record the song with her, so on and so forth.

How could you even contribute to a conversation like this? He’s talking to you about a girl in a way that reminds you of your college days—back when the pair of you were strictly friends and nothing more, and he would talk to you about girls he thought were cute. It feels a little bit like right now. Yoongi and Jieun do make a good team, they get along together, and have formed a closeness within such a short period of time that anyone passing by the studio would assume they’ve been friends for years. Or, even further, that they were dating. At the very least, Yoongi speaks highly enough of Jieun that one could assume that she was the one he liked, and not you.

It feels a little bit like being left behind—it’s a thought that only continues to fester.

It takes a few more weeks, but you eventually draft up Yoongi’s tour schedule. It’s a few sheets of paper that detail the duration of the tour, the cities, the locations, the dates of each location, the size of the venue, how ticket distribution will work, on, and on, and on—all information that Yoongi has insisted on knowing about ever since he was signed into KSJ Records. The man just likes to know what his fans have to go through in order to see him, and you respect that.

However, before you can officially create the tour post that’ll be up on the KSJ Records social media account, it needs to go through a final approval: from Yoongi himself. And because he likes to take notes with paper and pen, like the old-fashioned songwriter he is, he’s asked you to print everything out for him.

This is what leads you to stand near the printer in your office, waiting for the last page to print and slide into your awaiting hands. Once all the pages come out, you flip through them to make sure that every city on the tour is accounted for. You turn back to your desk, collecting some magazines that have been stacked on top of your table.

Along with getting the setlist for the tour, Yoongi had also asked you to get a hold of some magazines and articles that provided reviews from his first tour. Something about wanting to read any critiques people might have had for his show.

You gather the small stack as well before sliding it into your bag and stepping out into the hall. It’s surprisingly early for you to be leaving your office, the late afternoon, but there’s a part of you that just wants to give the document stack to Yoongi and dip out for the rest of the night. By now, the doubts of Yoongi’s affection for Jieun has dug itself deeper into your mind and letting yourself be around Yoongi for too long brings up too many questions that cannot be good for your mentality.

Questions like: If he could, would Yoongi prefer to date Jieun for real?

Was Jieun better than you?

And the best one of them all: Were you just holding Yoongi back from better relationships?

You continue to walk down the hallway of the building, your pace a little slower than normal because of the cloudy thoughts that threaten to overtake your mind. Finally, you stop outside of the studio you know Yoongi and Jieun are recording in. You take in a deep breath, forcing your usual cheery personality to shine through as you pull down on the handle and let yourself into the studio.

As soon as you step inside, you almost wish that you had just slid the documents under the door. The sight of that would probably have been easier to process than the one in front of your eyes right now.

Namjoon, as usual at the desk surrounded by music panels and laptops, playing the recently finished music through the recording booth situated on the other side of the glass. Behind this aforementioned sheet of glass are Jieun and Yoongi. With headphones on, they’re standing next to each other behind the microphone. Their shoulders practically touching, you don’t miss the way they both keep sneaking glances at each other, the corner of their lips turning up, looking like they’re having the best time together.

You try not to slam down the door behind you, but your grip on the knob is a little too harsh to call for a softer click. Fortunately (or unfortunately, given how much fun Yoongi and Jieun look like they’re having—wait, did Jieun just touch Yoongi’s arm), neither of them notice your arrival.

Namjoon, however, notices.

He turns around to look at you. “Hey, what’s up?”

You try for a smile, your hand brushing against the door. “Sorry, I slipped a little,” You lie cleanly. You hold up the documents in your other hand. “Yoongi wanted me to prepare a few things for him, stuff for the upcoming tour.”

Namjoon gestures for you to sit next to him, something that you follow. As soon as you sit down, Namjoon asks to see these aforementioned documents, which you pull out of your bag and hand over to him. It’s quiet between the two of you, the only sounds being the laughs and giggles between Yoongi and Jieun—as if one has them as just told a secret only understood between them. It’s a feeling that doesn’t settle well in your stomach.

“Wow, this is very efficient,” Namjoon observes, seeming completely oblivious to your internal seething.

You shrug, eyes still locked in on the inside of the recording booth. “Yoongi asked for the best, so I gave him the best. Hey, so—!” You change topics. “Is there a reason they’re in the booth together? Don’t a lot of collabs nowadays just exchange everything virtually?”

Namjoon hums. “I didn’t know the jealous girlfriend was a full time act of yours now.” He’s clearly just trying to have fun. After all, only Taehyung and Jungkook know about your crush on Yoongi. “But honestly? I’m not too sure. They just wanted to go in together—said that they could be more personal when working in a face-to-face setting. And they’re actually making a lot of changes as they keep going through the song and hearing how the music is turning out. They’re a good team.”

Namjoon’s usage of the very same phrase that has been haunting you for the past few weeks doesn’t sit well in your stomach.

Namjoon returns the documents to you. “Did you want to talk to him now? See if he’s cool with you just dropping it off?”

You nod. “If that’s okay?”

Namjoon smiles. “We’ll just wait until they take a breath.”

Waiting doesn’t turn out to take a long time, because Jieun stops the song to make another statement about what line should replace the one they just sung. And Yoongi looks at her like she’s just hung up all the stars in the galaxy.

“Namjoon, do you mind starting the song over? We got a new idea for this part,” Jieun calls from inside the booth.

Namjoon leans forward to press the button. “Actually, you guys have some company.”

You lean forward as well. “Hey guys.”

Jieun grins, waving at you through the window. Yoongi acknowledges you as well, but there’s something suddenly stiff about his movements. You notice that he’s also stepping away from Jieun, as if to hide what has been going on between him and Jieun. As if that makes you feel any fucking better.

“Hey, uh, Yoongi?” You continue. “I have the documents you asked me to prepare for you. I can just leave it here for you to go over if that’s cool. Maybe take a little bit of time today to go over everything.”

Yoongi thinks about this for a moment. “Actually… honey,” He adds the pet name as an afterthought. “Do you mind dropping it off at my apartment? We’re probably just gonna be focusing on the song until pretty late tonight.”

The acknowledgement Yoongi has that he and Jieun are in for another late night only grows the seeds of doubt in your mind, as you clench your teeth. You can’t let your insecurities get the best of you. Not now. “Sure,” You manage, trying for a small.

Yoongi grins. “Thanks baby. I’ll make it up to you this weekend, okay?”

At this point, it just feels like he’s teasing you and it’s something you find you aren’t really in the mood for. So you manage a curt reply, giving a positive response that you’ll drop by his apartment to deliver the documents regarding his upcoming tour, before you’re up and out of the studio before Jieun, Yoongi, or Namjoon can say one last thing. But you don’t care. The sooner you’re out of there, looking at the heart-eye festival between Jieun and Yoongi, the better you feel.

So you take the train to Yoongi’s apartment, a now much bigger space in a slightly nicer area of the city. At least, nicer than the college apartment he shared with Jungkook that was no stranger to bed bugs and constant maintenance issues. The newer apartment Yoongi has recently acquired is nicer, has more modern finishes, and is now a space he fills in all by himself.

As you unlock the door to his apartment, you immediately make your way down the small hallway entrance, where a mirror and his shoes occupy a small corner of the area. The hallway opens up into the living room, and you turn on the light and take in the vaguely familiar sight of his new furniture—home pieces that you helped arrange with him a few months ago. Come to think of it, that was probably the first and last time you had come by Yoongi’s apartment. Before certain life elements got involved.

Tonguing the inside of your cheek, you plop yourself down on the couch and place the document stack at the corner of the coffee table. It looks rather strange just stacked like that, no context provided, so your eyes shift over for a pen and a post-it note.

You find a stack of post-it notes, and find a pen sticking out from inside a notebook. Paying little attention to the notebook, you just make a grab for the pen and rip it out of the notebook with the aggression of a gorilla. The notebook flies open, the contents inside barring itself right at you.

Your immediate reaction is to close the notebook. After all, it just takes one glance at Yoongi’s scrambled handwriting to know that this is one of his writing journals. His most recent one, in fact, judging from how flat the pages after the one currently open appear—like it hasn’t been stained with a pen yet.

You want to close it—you really do. You and Yoongi have built a friendship on trust. That’s what kept you both together throughout the long years, and you know better than to risk everything just for the chance to scope through what is essentially a songwriter’s diary.

Your fingers inch towards the edge of the book, about to close it shut, before the title at the top header makes you freeze.

MY SECRET

Without meaning to, your eyes read over the lines. And you feel sick to your stomach.

The song is so raw, so personal, brimming with desire in every verse. It covers lingering stares, secret smiles. A barrier. How Yoongi “wants you more and more with each day, but I know I can’t have you, that I shouldn’t have you”. And you know Yoongi—you know him better than anyone. You know that for all the love songs he sings and the topics he sings about that he feigns ignorance for, he draws on personal experience to write his music. How else could he make everything so personable?

How could this song not be about Jieun?

The lingering stares, secret smiles: it clearly points to the events in the recording booth you saw earlier that day, and if he’s writing a song about it, it’s obvious that today hadn’t been the first time for those stares and smiles.

The barrier: obviously you. The relationship facade he’s forced to put up with you, when he’s clearly so much happier with someone else.

With those factors, it’s so clear that Yoongi would want Jieun, but would be unable to have her.

And you’re just the girl in the background with the starry eyes for a guy who would never even look at you the way you want him to.

That realization brings the hot tears to your eyes, as you slam the notebook shut and bring your hand to your mouth, biting your finger to muffle your sobs. What comes out is the build-up of months of insecurities, of having to keep the biggest secret of your life to yourself, and the additional jealousy brought in by a third party.

This despair and sadness isn’t good for you, and you know that only continuing to hide it away in light of Yoongi and Jieun’s partnership, in light of your feelings, and Yoongi’s exploding career—you should only be able to handle so much. You’re a human being, and you have your limits.

And you think this might be it.

CHAPTER 6: TRUTHS

“Y-Yeah, I think it’s food poisoning or something,” You speak quietly into the phone, playing with the edges of your blanket. “I’m really sorry, Seokjin, I’ll try to send out some emails to respond to news outlets today…”

“Hey, no, you’re totally fine,” Seokjin replies hastily. “I don’t blame you for that. Just try and get some rest today, and update me on how you feel tomorrow.” A pause. “What was it?”

“Uh, it must have been in the takeout I got last night.” That’s a lie. You cooked your own dinner last night, and are lying straight through your teeth regarding your condition, but you can’t find it in yourself to go to work today. Not since the discovery of Yoongi’s crush on Jieun made you want to dig yourself into a hole and never crawl out.

It’s not like you ever thought you had a chance with Yoongi—but you had just thought maybe something would be different after the hand holding, after his radio interview, after your kiss together.

But Jieun serves as that nice splash of reality that Yoongi wants someone better than you. Someone more like him—someone passionate about music, who gets along with him better, who can write music with and write music about.

At this point, it just feels like you’re a weight, dragging Yoongi down in the waves of his past.

On the other side of the phone, Seokjin sighs. “Damn, that’s always the worst. Those are the ones you suspect the least. Anyways, I’ll let you go. Get some rest. Maybe I’ll let Yoongi know so he can bring some soup.”

The mention of Yoongi makes you feel like you could actually get food poisoning. “You can let him know, but he’ll probably be too hung up on Jieun to give a shit.”

Seokjin, of course, knows nothing, so he laughs at what he thinks is your joke. “That’s true. They’re actually at it again today, which is surprising considering Jieun only comes by a few times a week. But no, she was here bright and early and so was Yoongi. Basically, they showed up to the studio at the same time. They called it fate, or some shit like that.”

“You don’t say,” You return dryly.

Namjoon’s confirmation that they make a good team, paired with Seokjin’s admittance that Yoongi is hung up on Jieun, puts you in a delicate mood for the rest of the day. You try to watch some TV shows, some movies, play some video games, but you are constantly distracted by thoughts of Yoongi and Jieun.

You’re all curled up on the couch, about to click into another movie, when there’s a knock on your door. Your heart leaps in your throat as you stand up. You hate the brief flicker of hope in your chest, the curiosity that perhaps Yoongi is the one knocking.

All those hopes are dashed when you see it is Jungkook on the other side of the door.

“Oh,” You remark, the smile dropping from your face. “It’s just you.”

Jungkook looks at you like you pissed in his cereal. “Uh, I don’t see other amazing friends over here bringing you store-bought chicken soup because they heard you got food poisoning last night.” He holds up the bag for extra emphasis.

You roll your eyes, grabbing the bag from him. “I don’t actually have food poisoning, I just didn’t want to go to work today.”

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows at your statement. There’s a lot you’ve given him that he can work with, lots of things he can ask about. Maybe ask why you would lie about your food poisoning, maybe ask why you didn’t want to go to work today, maybe ask why you still looked like shit.

But the first thing he says: “You owe me twenty dollars.”

You roll your eyes, beckoning him inside with the jerk of your head. “Sure.”

Jungkook laughs a little. “Wait, okay, I was actually kidding.” But he still steps into your apartment. “I’ll be serious now. Why lie about food poisoning? And since when do you not want to go to work? If anything, you love to go so you can stare at Yoongi’s ass through the recording booth—!” He cuts himself off when you give him a glare of such pure hatred that it actually shocks him. “Wait, are you mad at Yoongi?”

You tear your gaze away from him, placing the bag of groceries on your countertop. Sorting through what Jungkook has bought serves to be a good distraction.

Jungkook continues to look at you. He’s quiet, but he always has a lot to say, and since you’ve been his friend for so long that only heightens his need to talk. “I knew it!” He finally says. “I knew you were mad at him. Taehyung and I were placing bets down.”

You slam the can of chicken soup on the counter. “HEY. What did I say about gossiping?”

“Not in front of your face?”

Your hand flinches, as if to stop yourself from grabbing the can and throwing it at his stupid face. Jungkook doesn’t even move in fear, the bastard. “I’m just gonna pretend I don’t know about the bets. You want a can of chicken soup?”

Jungkook confirmation finds you at the stove, heating up two of the many cans Jungkook had bought for you. Included in his twenty-dollar purchase had been a few containers of tums, and some orange juice.

Jungkook lingers in the back. “You wanna tell me why you’re mad at Yoongi?”

You whirl around to face him. “How did you even know I was upset?”

Jungkook snorts, but quiets down when you glare at him. He coughs. “You’re pretty easy to read, you know. You’ve been acting weird ever since Jieun started coming by the studio.”

“Weird how?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. You’re just a little quieter. And you haven’t been spending as much time in the studio as you used to. That was the biggest giveaway.”

You’re quiet for a moment. You rub at your cheek. “Does Yoongi know?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “Doubtful. But I think he knows something is up. I was on the phone with him last night.”

It’s your turn to snort. “Okay, that’s really fucking funny.” At Jungkook’s raised eyebrow, you explain. “I thought he’d be too busy comparing Jieun to sunlight, or something, to notice me.”

“Oh, so you’re jealous.”

You and Jungkook have a staring contest, before you sigh. “I accidentally saw Yoongi’s writing notebook yesterday. It had all these love confessions in it, and I’m pretty sure he was talking about Jieun.”

Jungkook’s eyes widen. “No way? Are you sure?”

You cough. “Well, I’m not a hundred percent. But it was all about this forbidden crush he couldn’t act on because of a barrier. Who else could be the barrier? He obviously thinks I’m holding him back from pursuing a relationship with Jieun.” You think about your words for a second, trying to decide if Jungkook is trustworthy enough to disclose this information to. “I think I’m gonna break it off with him. Maybe quit too, while I’m at it.”

Jungkook’s lips part. “But why?”

“What else am I supposed to do?” You cry. “I can’t keep up this fake dating with Yoongi anymore, it’s too complicated, and I’m actually in love with him so that opens up this whole other series of complications. And it’s not fair to Yoongi—he shouldn’t have to deal with feelings he obviously doesn’t return. The whole charade thing just isn’t doing me any good. And even if I break off the relationship, I would still have to see him all the time because of the whole manager situation. Quitting just seems like the best option for me.”

Jungkook is quiet for a second. “How do you even know he wrote that song about Jieun?” He finally asks, speaking carefully.

You shrug. “I don’t know. I just have this feeling. Who else has he been spending all this time with? Who else could that song possibly be about?”

Jungkook gives you a long, hard look, like he almost can’t believe your brain can be thinking those thoughts. But he relents. “I think you should talk to Yoongi before quitting. He’s one of your best friends. He deserves to know why, at least.” He looks over your shoulder. “The chicken soup is done.”

You whirl back around to turn off the stove. But also so Jungkook can’t see the tears glassing over your eyes.

It turns out, telling Yoongi you want to quit is a much more difficult task than you could have thought. For starters, Seokjin sets the pair of you up on more dates than before. Apparently, there are some rumors going around regarding Jieun’s more and more frequent turn-ups at KSJ Records, and people have started connecting the dots that her appearances are tied to either one of two reasons. Either Yoongi and Jieun are collaborating on music. Or they’re dating.

The second reason is a lot juicier, much more exciting, so naturally a lot of people have gravitated towards supporting that reason. To try and expel those thoughts, Seokjin sends you out on more dates with Yoongi. It’s all fine, but your thoughts about breaking off this relationship and quitting just makes you more quiet and closed off as you wallow deeper into your thoughts.

You suddenly don’t know how to contribute to the conversations Yoongi tries to bring up to you. The words seem to fail you every time, and you feel yourself constantly resorting to silence or one-worded answers. And it constantly always feels like Yoongi is standing too close to you. Every step towards you is a step away from him. When he tries to hold your hand on the sixth date in two weeks, you wiggle out of his grasp and pretend that you need to fix your jacket.

Your own journey to self-destruction means that you are completely oblivious to the hurt in Yoongi’s eyes with every step you take to distance yourself from him. But what could you even say to him?

How could you tell him you want to quit your job in public? That would obviously lead to a fight, and it would reflect badly on Yoongi’s public image. Just because you want to quit doesn’t mean you still care about him, because you do. And you still want him to succeed. With Seokjin’s constant scheduling of dates, it leaves little room for you to share in an actual private discussion. The only off times Yoongi has are the days Jieun comes by the studio, and you try to stay a mile away from that place now.

But it turns out, you don’t have a choice today, because Seokjin calls you into his office and tells you to drop off the samples of cover art that has just been dropped off at the studio. The cover art is something that Jieun and Yoongi have designed together for the album, to be displayed when the single is released.

With heavy feet, you make your way through the hallways and towards Yoongi’s studio space. Every fiber in your being hopes that Yoongi and Jieun will be in the recording booth, working on their song (or even better, just not in the studio at all), so that you don’t have to face them enjoying each other’s company right in front of your face. There’s no music coming through the door, so your heart soars that latter prospect.

As you open the door, however, you realize that there’s no way for you to be so lucky.

Inside, Yoongi and Jieun are eating lunch, takeout noodles split between the two of them, and they’re in the middle of laughing. The laughter, however, stops when you open the door, effectively interrupting their fucking date. Which is a thought that does nothing to make you feel better. The silence that echoes on only further makes you feel like shit.

You and Yoongi sharing a room privately nowadays is a rarity, since you’ve been doing a good job at avoiding him at all costs. His unanswered text messages and shortened calls echo through your mind at the sight of him. With the look he’s giving you, you wonder if he’s thinking the same thing.

Jieun, however, remains completely oblivious to the situation as she gives you her normally bright cheery greeting. You stare at you, momentarily stunned. You would have thought Yoongi shared the troubles of your relationship with her, for some reason. You try to remain nice about it, though, giving Jieun a small smile as you return her greeting.

“I, uh,” You start, bringing the package up for both of them to see. “Your cover art came in today. Seokjin just asked if I could drop it off here.”

Jieun brightens at the sight. “Oh my gosh, it came! Do you mind if I…?” She trails off, hands reaching out to take the package from you. You give it to her. “Yoongi, isn’t that so exciting?”

“Yeah…” Yoongi trails off. A quick glance at him tells you that he’s staring at you. You look away. “Did you see it yet?” He asks you.

You shrug. “I, uh, haven’t. But, anyways, I have to get going.”

“Hey,” Jieun calls, freezing you slightly in your path. “Thanks for bringing this over. We really appreciate it.”

We?

The use of that specific noun, while supposedly harmless in the current context, makes your stomach flare with that white hot curl of jealousy. Your teeth clench, as you swallow down the spiteful words that almost manage to escape into the air around you. You smile, no teeth. “You’re welcome.” That’s the only thing you can manage before you’re turning around to open the door and practically bolt yourself out of the studio.

You only make it a few feet before the door to the studio opens and you hear footsteps trailing after you. He calls your name, and your heart drops. You are so not ready for any type of one-on-one conversation with Yoongi right now.

But your entire soul still gravitates toward him, so you stop and turn around to face him.

Yoongi is by himself this time, and looking like a mixture of confused and defeated as he approaches you. “Listen,” He starts. “I know that we haven’t had a lot of time to really talk…”

“It’s okay,” You brush off.

Yoongi says your name again. “You know, you don’t need to lie to me. You’re my best friend—I can tell when you’re hiding something from me.”

You sigh, shaking your head as every nerve in your body is telling you to walk away. “Yoongi, I’m not sure I can do this right now.”

“Do what?” He presses. “I know that I’ve been super busy, but if you want to talk you can just let me know. Tell me what’s bothering you, okay? Because I…” He trails off, sighing, and you feel that vague sense of guilt wash over you. “I can tell that you’re avoiding me and it’s really shitty. I can’t even focus that much on my song with Jieun.”

The mention of Jieun stiffens you up again. “Well, sorry for being an inconvenience,” You spit. “Why don’t you go back to your new fucking girlfriend if you’re gonna bring her up to my face again.” You couldn’t stop yourself this time—the words were too ready at your lips. Your chest is heaving from it too, but it is things that you know that you will regret saying.

Yoongi’s eyebrows furrow deeper together as your words.

You stare right back at him, the shadow of a thought passing over you. If you’re going to tell Yoongi your biggest secret, it might as well be right now. You don’t know the next time you will be this brave, this reactive, this bold.

Both of you open your mouths at the same time.

“Did you just call Jieun my girlfriend?”

“I’m quitting.”

You clamp your mouth shut. You hadn’t meant to speak at the same time as him. A small wave of regret passes through you, as you hope that Yoongi wouldn’t have heard your statement over his question. But of course he does.

Yoongi’s frowns at you. “Did you just say you were quitting?”

You take a step back, running a hand through your hair as your exhale comes out shaky. More shaky than you intended it to. Oh no. “Yeah,” You manage, already feeling your emotions bottling up. “I was gonna try and talk to Seokjin about quitting before I left.”

If Yoongi thinks you were joking before, he definitely doesn’t now because he takes a step towards you and catches your wrist before you can go that far. “B-But why?” His eyes have gotten a little wider, and he’s staring at you like his world is being pulled apart.

You try to tug your wrist away to no avail. Your mind tries to flash through several different excuses, but you realize that you need to tell him the truth. Yoongi deserves that much, at least.

As you try to collect your thoughts, Yoongi starts scrambling. “W-Was it something I did?” He asks quickly. “Because normally you’d always try to call me out and I’d fix myself immediately. A-Are you unhappy with your position? Because I can try to get Seokjin to give you less workload or something. I-I’m really sorry if it was something that I did to hurt you. I-I just really need you here so talk to me… please…”

You shake your head. “It’s a little more complicated than that,” You whisper. “I know your secret, Yoongi, and that’s why I can’t do this anymore.”

“W-What secret?” His eyes are still on you.

You take in another breath. “I went over to your apartment that night,” You start. “And I saw what you were writing in your journal. I know that you’re in love with Jieun, and that you only see me as a barrier to pursuing a relationship with her. And that sucks because normally, I’d encourage you to go after her. But we’re doing this whole dating thing, and I feel like I’m neck-deep because…” Your words come out a little more shaky. “Because I’m in love with you,” You whisper. “I’ve been in love with you for years. B-But I know now that I’ll never measure up to Jieun, or any of the other girls in this industry who deserve you more than I do. I thought that I could keep being professional for you and your career. But it’s too hard for me.”

“W-Wait,” Yoongi says, tightening his grip on you. “Can you just let me explain, please? It’s not like that, I promise you.”

You rip your wrist from his hand. “I read it!” You retort loudly. “Who else could be the person you want more than anything, but can’t have because of a physical barrier? When else have you used a real person to inspire your music? It’s too hard for me, Yoongi! I can’t keep doing this!”

Yoongi seems to be struggling with his next words. “So, what?” Yoongi asks, circling around his next question carefully. “You’re just going to leave? Is this… the end of our friendship?”

You sigh, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know! I haven’t thought this out that far. But I know that we shouldn’t be doing this fake dating charade anymore, because I know there’s no way these past few months have meant the same to you as it did to me. I also know that I can’t really be in the same room with you right now.”

Yoongi hopelessly gazes over at you, his own chest heaving as he himself struggles with what to say. “Please don’t do this,” He returns softly.

Your gaze lingers on Yoongi’s for just a while longer, trying to burn the image of him in your mind, before you shake your head. “I’m sorry.”

As it turns out, Seokjin is out of the office for the rest of the evening. Which is fine, right? Whatever. You can just call him tomorrow morning and schedule a meeting with him, tell him the urgency of it and will definitely be able to muster your strength for another conversation about your secret feelings for Yoongi.

You return to your apartment and immediately burst into tears as the weight of today’s confrontation sinks its teeth right into your neck. You just shared your feelings with Yoongi, you threatened your employment, and almost cut off your friendship with Yoongi as a result of that.

Your many years of friendship, of late nights, of laughter together. It seems silly to want to cut off an important friendship just like that—but it just seems unfair of you to carry on with a friendship where you’re always going to crave more. And if Yoongi is smart, he’ll know that as well, and he won’t come back.

Still, a part of you just hopes a little. Even though, of course, it’s a stupid thing to hope for. Yoongi has already established his taste, and it’s definitely for people leagues above you. The thought only makes you cry a little harder, so much so that you try to drink some water in order to calm down.

You’re in the beginning stages of patting down your face, of grabbing some spoons to put into the freezer, when there’s a series of frantic knocking at your door. You turn your head towards the source of the noise, trying to figure out who could be visiting at a time like this. It’s been a few hours since your confrontation with Yoongi at the studio, but you assume that he’s probably blowing smoke up Jieun’s ass. There’s no way that it could be him.

So you open the door, and freeze when you realize that it is Yoongi.

More than that, it’s Yoongi with his chest heaving. Almost like he has just run around the entire city to reach you.

The only thing you can manage right now is a wide-eyed stare.

Yoongi stares right back at you. Just a few hours ago, he had looked so helpless and lost for words. A first, actually. But this time, he’s staring at you with so much intensity that you cannot look away.

Yoongi finally seems to catch his breath. “You’re an idiot,” He states.

You’re so caught off guard by that statement that you forget you’re supposed to be upset with him. “I’m sorry?” You ask.

Yoongi huffs, practically barreling past you to step into your house. You try to tell him to stop, but he’s distracted by rummaging through his backpack for something. With a sigh, you decide to close the door. As soon as he’s standing in your kitchen, he finds an old, beaten up notebook that you vaguely remember from his college days. He points at you with his notebook. “You’re an idiot,” He repeats. “If you think that the lyrics on my coffee table are the first time I’ve written lyrics about a specific person.”

At your shocked expression, he immediately starts flipping through the notebook. You notice that certain pages are marked with sticky tabs.

Yoongi settles on a page and clears his throat. “Hidden within the walls of our lecture hall, your laughter curls through the cracks like liquid fire. You light up my day amongst borrowed pencils and shared jokes. I knew that you were going to change my life,” he reads. He looks up at you. “The first day I met you, when I asked you to borrow a pencil.” You remember those lyrics. It was from a song he had written called ‘starlight’—the opening song on his first EP.

He flips through a few more pages. “I never learned about love, but I watch her believe in my dreams, take the same steps to join my team, and I feel like I could figure it out.” He looks at you. “When you agreed to help me with my Youtube channel.”

He continues through his notebooks of lyrics, of stories, of secrets. Every single lyric he reads to you connects back to some memory he holds of the two of you. All the memories together in college: from the panic attack he had in the bathroom of the first party the pair of you attended, to exploring the nearby cities via subway until early mornings, to corner ramen shops.

Soon enough, he moves on to the lyrics he had written during his first tour. The distance he felt, and how that related to the emotional distance he felt with you—that desire he constantly felt for more, and how the manager and artist relationship the pair of you had couldn’t hold a candle to the friendship you once held. The distance was never a physical challenge, and that was something you could never connect the dots on.

Every stone of his hidden affection is turned over, every lyric he has marked read over and explained with such a passion. It’s like he has waited years to finally have his turn, to finally speak the way he’s always wanted to—directly, with no tricks of music and whimsical arrangements to make you doubt everything he could say.

He had written whole songs about the fake dating experience, of how he wasn’t sure he could only pretend to love you when it was the only thing he ever knew how to do.

Finally, he flips to his most recent song. The very song that you had stumbled upon the other day in his apartment. “I want you more and more with each day, but I know I can’t have you, that I shouldn’t have you,” He reads. He looks up at you. “The barrier was the blanket of our fake relationship. You were never stopping me from doing anything, because you were the only thing I have ever wanted. So…” He gestures to all the notebooks that he has laid out across your kitchen counter. “Do you now see how many song lyrics are actually about you? All about you. Because you’re all I’ve always known.”

Your gaze carefully studies each notebook, layered over each other, overflowing with dedication and passion. The privacy of someone who has surprisingly spent his entire singing career sharing nothing but his darkest secrets. Your arms are overlapped with each other, tightening against your form. “I-I had no idea.”

Yoongi shakes his head, but when he looks at you, his eyes are soft. “I figured that.” He’s leaning across the counter to keep his gaze leveled with you, but he pushes himself even closer to tap a finger on the spot between your eyes. “I thought I made it so obvious. You were never listening.”

“I-I never thought to,” You admit softly. But Yoongi has a point. Ever since he started writing and sharing his original songs, he has done nothing but sing them to you in any and all forms. From the private sessions the pair of you shared in his college apartment, to the performances he would deliver on the street, in the recording booth at all hours of the day, to the tours and the audiences that sing those love declarations right back at you. For years, Yoongi has done nothing but give, and give, and give. And you had no idea.

Your breath hitches, and Yoongi rounds the counter and gathers your face in his hands. “Shh,” He coos softly. “It’s not your fault.”

You sniff. “It is my fault! I’m such a stupid bitch. And I treated you and Jieun like shit because I thought you were in love with her. I thought I was holding you back from being able to date who you really wanted to be with.”

Yoongi shrugs. “I mean, technically, you were.” At your look, he hastily goes to explain himself. “The person I really wanted to date was you. But since we were, uh, fake dating, that prevented me from being able to date you for real…”

You groan at his teasing grin. “You idiot, that was so bad.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Yoongi is still grinning though, tracing his thumb over your cheekbone. His eyes follow the movement, mentally outlining you into his mind. “I just wanted to see you smile.” His smile slips a little. “Since you had been ignoring me for so long.”

You pout. “I told you, I thought you were in love with Jieun. And honestly, that would make a lot of sense… she’s really pretty and talented and you guys could talk about music for hours, especially compared to me—!”

“Stop,” Yoongi cuts in, closing his eyes briefly. “I’m gonna stop you there before you say something I don’t like.” He angles his head to level his gaze with you. “Jieun is really cool, I’ll probably be the first one to admit that. But she’s not you. Hey, c’mon, look at me.” He forces you to look at him again. “You are also so, so pretty and smart and talented. You may not know a lot about music and songwriting, but you were always the one who pulled all-nighters with me to edit my videos, or learn music with me, or point out if something in my music didn’t sound right. Your passion to help is something I really love about you.”

You pursue your lips to hide your smile. “Love, huh?”

Yoongi doesn’t even hesitant. “Well, yeah, because I’m in love with you. I thought that was obvious.”

You exhale. “Yeah, well, it’s different hearing you say it outloud.”

Yoongi grins. “Well, hopefully you’ll get used to it. I have many years to make it up to you.” His smile dies down a little. “I’m sorry,” He finally settles with. “I should have been more straightforward and honest with you about my feelings. You must have been suffering for so long, having to keep it all in and everything.”

You shake your head. “I’m also sorry,” You whisper. “For jumping to conclusions so fast. And also not really listening to your lyrics. That was kind of stupid of me, considering I’m your manager and everything.”

Yoongi laughs. “It seems like you’re good now, seeing as you’ve just gotten an exclusive behind-the-scenes artist cut and commentary about his songs.” He pauses for a second. “So, I hope this means that you won’t quit being my manager. And that, maybe, we can promote our relationship from fake dates to real ones.”

You smile. “I’d like that.”

His smile turns softer. “And I was hoping that maybe I can kiss you again. For real, this time. No cameras, no Seokjin breathing down our necks.”

You giggle. “Just so you know, if the kiss at your album release party had been a real one and we were actually dating at the time, I probably would have wanted you to fuck me in the bathroom or something.”

Yoongi groans. “Don’t say that with that cute smile on your face. Makes me want to do things to you.”

“I don’t see you pulling away though.”

“Of course not.” Yoongi’s figure loams over you now, his lips brushing against yours. “I have three years to make up to you.”

With that, he kisses you, silencing whatever next words you were going to say. That is, if you even had any to begin with. Now that he’s kissing you, stealing the breath from your lungs, you’re not even too sure any thoughts have been floating around at all. Unlike the kiss at the album release party, which had been softer and dainty, held back to hide a secret, this kiss is rougher. Yoongi is already moving his lips against yours, already parting his lips to brush his tongue against your lower lips. His hands are already sliding across the counter, trying to cover you more and more.

His hand slips on the counter though, almost sending his sprawling on top of you. You catch him with your hand on his chest, as the sudden action makes both of you pull away from each other. The sight you both face is very much like the sight from the launch party: flushed cheeks and redden lips, a desire for more flickering behind eyes.

But this time, there is no expectation to carry on in a party like a long-term couple. That is what allows Yoongi to wrap his arms around you, pulling you to his chest this time. He kisses you again, slower, softer, but you deepen the kiss with the part of your own lips this time. There is an unspoken agreement between the two of you as he lifts you into his arms and blindly navigates through your apartment, into your bedroom, where you both fall atop the mattress.

“And just for the record,” You whisper, right when Yoongi pulls away to let both of you catch your breath. “I love you too.” You’ve already admitted your feelings earlier in the day, but it’s worth it to see Yoongi deliver that heart pounding gummy smile.

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