#i love the mood lighting but jesus christ almighty is it so had to get clear caps

[deputy-buck]

"Nice story." "You read my paper?" "Drag Queens can read."

Fellow Travelers 1x02: Bulletproof

[mymoonagedaydream]

Only the Good Die Young (Part 7)

Summary: There were just a few more hoops you had to jump through before you and Bucky could be happy

Pairing: Biker!Bucky x y/n

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Language, anti-religious sentiment, harmful relationship with parents, smut references

Author's Note: This is the Time. It’s always the time for Billy Joel. No, I haven’t taken this too far. If anything, I haven’t taken this far enough. You’ll see. You’ll all see.

This part is dedicated to the anon message I got earlier which simply read ‘UPDATE OTGDY ITS SO GOOD’, cause the mix of affection and vaguely threatening demand absolutely made my day. I love you, whoever you are. 

---

You spent the whole next day researching places you could move to. Something small, cosy and close to the beach would’ve been ideal, but anything a significant distance away with four walls and a roof would do. 

You tried to get some preferences out of Bucky, but he insisted that he wasn’t picky, and that he’d be happy as long as you were. 

When he got back from work you cornered him in the kitchen, enthusiastically telling him about everything you’d found. He’d had a pretty long day, but your excitement seemed to cheer him up a bit. 

Not long afterwards, the two of you were curled up on the couch, flicking through beautiful, unbelievably expensive beachfront properties and dreaming about the kind of future in which you could afford them.

Your current situation, however, was presenting issues of its own- the most pressing one being that most of your belongings were still at your parents’ house. 

There was a vague plan in your head for how you were going to retrieve them but, in all honesty, you were really trying not to think too much about it. You had a terrible tendency to overthink, and doing that would only cause you to put it off for longer.

Unfortunately, you’d completely forgotten to tell Bucky all this, so he decided to bring it up casually while you were doing the dishes.

‘So, when are we paying your folks a visit?’

‘We’re not.’ He flung the dish cloth over his shoulder and shot you a confused frown. ‘I still have a key, so I was thinking we’d sneak over on Sunday morning while they’re at church.’

‘Damn, that’s a shame. I’d really like to get to know them better.’

‘You’re such an ass.’ You grabbed a handful of soap bubbles and blew them at him, laughing as he tried to protect his hair. ‘They’d only call the cops on you anyway.’ 

‘That’s half the fun of it.’

You spun round and playfully pointed your finger at him. ‘I thought we’d established that I am not cut out for being a prison girlfriend. For one, I couldn’t pull off the juicy couture tracksuit.’

A mischievous smile spread across his face. ‘Oh you definitely could.’

---

Sunday came around a little too fast for your liking. 

The two of you walked to your parents’ house, but only after you’d taken an unbelievably long time convincing Bucky that he wouldn’t be able to strap two suitcases to the back of his bike. 

He’d also suggested towing them on their castors, like trailers. 

You were moving in with this man.

The closer you got, the tighter your grip on Bucky’s hand became. When the house came into view and you saw that the car was gone, you calmed down a little, but still stayed extremely cautious in your approach.  

As long as you’d been alive they’d never missed Sunday mass, however, by this point, you’d completely given up trying to predict their behaviour. You wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d both stuffed themselves into the mailbox, waiting to jump out at you.

With the coast seemingly clear, you unlocked the house and scurried inside.

Bucky stepped through the door and immediately couldn’t hold in his laughter. You weren’t sure if it was all the crucifixes, the bible quote plaques on the kitchen wall or the plastic coated sofa cushions, but he was endlessly amused. 

After letting him have his fun for a while, you gestured for him to follow you upstairs. Reaching your bedroom door, you turned to warn him about how your mother’s taste had inexplicably worsened while decorating in there, but he’d disappeared. 

You heard faint chuckling coming from your parents’ bedroom. 

Rolling your eyes and huffing, you trudged through to see him holding their bedside bible, flicking through it amusedly. 

‘What are you doing Buck?’

‘I’m trying to find the bit where it tells you which sex positions are god-approved.’ 

He caught you off guard, making you burst out laughing. Your mother would absolutely flip her shit if she found out Bucky had been in her bedroom, but knowing that made you much less likely to drag him out. 

‘Try Leviticus.’ You strolled over and rested your chin on his shoulder. ‘That’s where all the weird stuff is.’ 

He raised a cheeky eyebrow and started skimming faster through the book, stopping occasionally to read a few lines, feign disappointment at the content, and rip the page out. You tried to grab it from him, but he moved it just out of your reach and carried on.

‘Oh here it is.’ Still holding the book with one hand, he suddenly grabbed you round the waist with his other arm and pushed you onto your parents’ bed, climbing on top of you. ‘Let’s give some of these a try.’

You laughed as he threw the bible onto the floor and started kissing down your neck. Brushing your hand over his hair, you almost got lost in the moment, before remembering how little time you had before your parents got back. 

‘We really don’t have time for this Buck.’

‘We always have time for something that’ll piss your mom off.’ 

You shoved his shoulders playfully, making him reluctantly push himself back onto his feet and pull you up after him. 

The two of you walked through to your room, leaving the bed sheets messed up and bible pages scattered all over the floor. You didn’t mind her thinking something had happened, even though it hadn’t. You just wished you could’ve seen the look on her face. 

Time was ticking but, thankfully, you’d never had the chance to properly unpack anyway. All you really had to do was grab one or two things and zip your suitcases back up. 

‘Jesus Christ, are your clothes made of lead?’ Bucky’s only job was to help carry the cases downstairs, yet he still found cause for complaint.

‘Oh that one is mainly textbooks. That’s why you’re carrying it.’

He frowned, still bent double, dragging the suitcase into the hallway. ‘Can’t you just leave those here? You’re not gonna need them.’

‘I know, but my parents paid for them, and I’m gonna resell them. Will probably fetch a decent chunk of our first month’s rent.’ 

He stood up straight and gave you a proud smile. ‘I knew there was a reason I liked you.’

He disappeared down the hallway as you finished gathering your last few things. You zipped up the second case and rolled it out of your bedroom, endlessly relieved thinking about how you never had to come back here. 

Even if your current plans didn’t work out, you were determined that this severing of ties was permanent. 

As you reached the bottom of the stairs, you saw Bucky on the sidewalk outside, sitting on your suitcase and lighting a cigarette. He looked up towards you, but his attention was immediately caught by something else, making his face drop. You stepped through the door and followed his gaze. 

It was your parents’ car, pulling up on the driveway. 

They must’ve left church early. Of course that’d happen on the one day you really needed it not to. 

You tried to come up with some course of action, but all that was going through your mind was fuckshitfuck. 

You heard the fast clicking of heels against stone and your mother appeared from behind the car, storming towards Bucky with her usual venomous expression. 

‘Get off of my property.’

He looked down. ‘Um, I’m pretty sure this is a sidewalk.’

You yanked your suitcase over the threshold and slammed the door behind you, drawing her attention.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ She screeched, probably waking up every baby within a five-mile-radius.

You didn’t respond, marching away from the house as fast as possible and keeping your gaze fixed on the ground. Before you reached the sidewalk, you felt a hand grip your arm tight and yank you back, almost pulling you off your feet. You turned round to see your father, looking like he was ready to kill someone. 

Before you could really process what was happening, Bucky had planted himself in front of you, giving your father’s shoulders an almighty shove. Your arm was released as they squared up to each other, your mother in the wings encouraging her husband to start throwing punches- cause that’s what good Catholics do. 

Then something happened that you wouldn’t have predicted in a million years. 

Bucky walked away. 

He reached for your hand and led you back to the sidewalk, grabbing the other suitcase without breaking stride. The two of you hustled away from the house as fast as you could, not looking back or responding to anything shouted after you. 

Despite what’d just happened, you couldn’t help but crack a smile. You’d never seen him walk away from a fight on his own before. 

---

The walk home was quiet once your parents’ voices had faded into the distance. You kept glancing over to see if he looked angry, but he seemed alright. 

Was this… progress?

When you got home, Bucky dragged your suitcases into the middle of the front room and unzipped them both. By the time you’d made it through the apartment door, your clothes were littered all over the place and he was wearing a pair of your best underwear stretched over his jeans.

‘I like these.’

You were pretty shocked at how good a mood he seemed to be in, but you weren’t about to question it.

‘It’s a shame you’ve stretched them beyond all recognition, then.’

You chased him round, trying to yank them off him for a while, but he was a slippery little fucker when he wanted to be. 

You debated properly unpacking all your clothes, eventually figuring that you were moving soon anyway, so there was really no point. 

So, your overflowing suitcases ended up piled in the corner, and you and Bucky ended up tangled together on the couch for the next couple hours. It was so nice just being able to relax and decompress after such a shitty situation, usually you’d just be arguing or cleaning his wounds. 

You were almost at the point of nodding off, when Buck unceremoniously jolted you back awake by jumping up and proclaiming his next great idea.

‘Alright, there’s gotta be somewhere nice in this stinking town. I’m gonna take you out on a proper date.’

‘Yeah?’ A warm, sleepy smile spread across your face. 

‘Yeah.’ He lifted you off the couch and threw you over his shoulder. ‘C’mon let’s get you dressed.’ 

You dug around for something nice, half-dreading what Bucky had planned for the evening. He was great in so many ways, but you were struggling to forget that the last time he took you for a night out, he ended up leaving in a cop car.

---

You kept trying to guess your destination from the route Bucky was taking you, but you came up with nothing. The only time you’d been to this part of town was when you were fourteen and your dad brought you to help collect a life-size, wooden virgin Mary statue that he’d bought from a seedy guy at church. 

Sometimes you wondered if your childhood was actually just a series of really vivid fever dreams...

Bucky pulled you into his side as you were walking. ‘We’re nearly there.’ 

‘If this is another dive bar I swear to god-’

‘You think so little of me.’ You raised an unamused eyebrow. ‘Yeah, fair enough.’

You turned the corner, and almost had to double-take. It was a little Italian restaurant, tucked between some vague office buildings but lit up like a golden Christmas tree. It looked like it couldn’t seat more than ten people, but that just added to its charm. Bucky led you inside and the waiter sat you at a little table in the corner. 

He’d really nailed it, the place was beautiful.

You both ordered and sat in comfortable silence for a minute, taking in your surroundings. Maybe it was more than a minute, you weren’t too sure, you’d gotten a little lost in your thoughts.

‘What’s up?’ Bucky snapped you back to reality. ‘That’s your deep thinking face.’

‘I dunno, it’s just... I keep forgetting that we’ve only properly known each other for a few weeks. It feels like we’ve lived through a lifetime.’

He leant back, smirking a little as he thought about it. ‘I guess someday we’ll look back and have to laugh.’

‘Someday?’

‘Oh yeah. I've got plans for you.’

You smirked and narrowed your eyes a little, leaning towards him and whispering ‘I know it probably wasn’t intentional, but that sounded vaguely threatening.’

He chuckled into his glass, wincing slightly before swallowing the wine. You told him you really wouldn’t mind him sticking to beer, but he insisted that he wanted to go the whole hog with this fancy dinner-date. It was just a shame that the bottle he’d ordered completely at random ended up tasting like ass, bless him.

You’d been meaning to bring up what’d happened earlier on the walk over, but you’d struggled to find the right moment or to come up with wording that wasn’t unbelievably patronising. 

Well done for not punching my dad by the way, really proud of you kiddo. 

‘I also wanted to say.’ Here goes nothing. ‘What you did today, I really appreciated it.’

‘What, wearing your underwear?’

You gave him a playful scowl before smiling and reaching over the table, placing your hands on his. 

‘I know sometimes you struggle to control this self-destructive streak, but you walked away from a fight today. I’ve never seen you do that before, it really meant a lot.’

His smile slowly dropped. Shit, had you upset him? That was about as diplomatically as you could have worded it. Maybe you should’ve just kept quiet. 

‘It hardly makes up for all the other times, though.’ His eyes flicked away from yours, moving down to stare at your hands. ‘Y’know, before you came back, the stuff I did… it was some kind of miracle that I survived.’

‘Don’t say that.’

‘It’s true. It was more than a self-destructive streak, I really just had nothing to live for.’ 

Jesus, that knocked you back. You felt like you’d been winded. The worst part was that he didn’t even look upset, he’d just fallen into this heart-breaking expression of sunken acceptance.

You squeezed his hands hard. ‘Things are good now, that’s what matters.’ 

He nodded, looking back up at you and forcing a smile. 

Now more than ever, you realised how important it was for you two get away from this town and start again. Maybe it wouldn’t be enough to completely disconnect him from the guilt of his past, but it would at least make it all seem a little further away.

You just knew that you were desperate to help him, and you were willing to try anything. 

---

Part 8

---

@shawnie--jo @brilliantbellesoares @livingoffsavvyillusions @noiralei @bebeyeni @kingkassam @newyorkgoddess @sir-lili @im-squished @dancer3205 @thefallenbibliophilequote @supernaturalwintersoldier @adriannajackson

---

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

hey quick question: why the fuck is the topic of needing a date for a school prom/formal pushed so heavily on kids at the ages of 15/16 or 17/18? when it’s only one night of lousy top 40s music (for example my year 10 formal was filled with Rihanna’s songs “S&M” and “rude boy”, a barrage of David guetta and Flo Rida/LMFAO songs and then Adele’s “someone like you”. hell, the biggest mood killer of the night was a “pumped up kicks” - foster the people cover by a band of boys from my year)? and then sub par food? and the night of the formal, they’ll only remember snippets of, only a few years after it happened? like fuck off.

prom/formal should be a night to be enjoyed with your friends, not some random guy or girl in your year group that you’ve barely uttered a fucking word to (in nearly all cases, besides the ones who’ve started dating or y’know they’re just friends going as friends, like I did with one of my guy friends in year 12) in the whole either 4 (for year 10 or junior proms/formals) or 6 years (for year 12/senior ones) you’ve been going to school together. like I remember my crush in year 10 tried to set me up with his best friend (a petty thing to do, to dangle himself in front of me, really, bc he was already taking someone) that I’d been super sassy to at the athletics carnival the previous year, and generally never spoke to.... except when we were forced to be partners for our ballroom dancing PE lessons and assessment that I barely ever participated in. then I was made to look like a cruel bitch bc I said no to him, and he didn’t end up going bc he didn’t have a date.... or at least that’s what it made me feel like on formal night when he didn’t turn up and his friends looked kinda slightly sullen about it, which was also coupled with rude comments from teachers. but I think he was cool with it though. his actual excuse was that “formal is overrated and expensive... and I come back next year???? like what’s the point?? I’ll just go to our year 12 one!” which he did, because I saw the photos.

like why the fuck was i shamed for a whole two straight years by my teachers at catholic school in years 9 & 10, who made it their business to tell me that “no real man from this school, in your year (bc we could only take people from our year group to formals) will ever take you to the formal, unless you learn to be a real woman in the eyes of jesus” or that my “goal for the year should be to gain 10 kilos bc the real men here at this school only like women with meat on their bones and not a girl who looks like she starves herself!” (which if they bothered to ask any of my friends for evidence, they’d find out that I ate A LOT and I’m legitimately naturally skinny)...

like why the fuck is this your business as my idk english/maths/art/sport/religion/science teacher or year coordinator etc??? stay the fuck out of it ms shackleback, I swear to fuck. and also why did this always have to be done out of the way of my friends, “in private” so that I never had anyone to back up my claims??? also why the fuck are you so condescending? they’re real men? while I’m a feral child? THEY’RE LITERALLY 15, MR RHONSON! THEY MAKE WANKING/FLESH LIGHT JOKES AND ALSO RAPE JOKES ON THEIR OWN OR EACH OTHER’S FACEBOOK PAGES EVERY FUCKING NIGHT!!!! THEY’RE NO FUCKING ANGELS AND SAINTS OR GENTLEMEN! THEY’RE JUST AS GROSS AS 15yo ME MAKING JOKES ABOUT ACCIDENTALLY BECOMING A SEX WORKER WHEN SHE MOVES TO PUBLIC SCHOOL! FOR CHRIST’S ALMIGHTY GODDAMN FUCKING SAKE! (not that sex workers are actually gross, you keep doing you ladies! I was just fresh out of my eminem and rap phases is all. and also that defs DID NOT happen anyway 😂)

like fuck, I was even shamed on fucking formal night. the one night where after making all the jokes about turning up in no makeup, ripped black skinny jeans, an ADTR or amity affliction shirt and converses bc I apparently “wasn’t like the other girls bc I was SoOoOoO oRiGiNaL AND pUnK!” or pulling a lady Gaga by turning up in a garbage bag... but making it fashion; or whatever other dumb fucking shit I said.... I turned up looking super nice (for 16yo me that is)... like nice enough to impress my crush at the time so much that he dropped his jaw y’all! in fact, everyone did! 😂

yet I was met with almost nonstop backhand compliments by like nearly all of my teachers. comments like “you look so wonderful *my friends walk off* but what a shame your lack of lady-like behaviour doesn’t compensate for the effort you put in!” or “you brushed up nicely! but what a shame you don’t have a boy with you! you’d look lovely with one on your arm! but you didn’t clean yourself up enough to have one of the real men in your year! how embarrassing!” *pointed, jeering look* and snide comments about me being in a dress when I turned up to school in one every day???? like what the fuck did I turn up to school in? up to $1000 worth of agent provocateur luxury lingerie ensembles, a school blazer and heels? with an apple, a book, my glasses and a riding crop to discipline the rowdy boys? with a coy smile to match Megan Fox’s on any merch associated with Jennifer’s body? fucking honestly let girls joke a little?

then a random guy (obvs one of the popular guys) in my year turns up with a fucking literal BLOW UP SEX DOLL. YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT! A BLOW UP SEX DOLL as a prank. and you know the types of comments he gets? “oh that Benson is a real laugh isn’t he!? a lark!” and “WHAT A GREAT PRANK BEN!” and the like. like fuck off. (but then again I never found out if he got cautioned about it, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did) literally the only good non backhanded comment I remember receiving on the night of my year 10 formal was my (male) drama teacher saying: “Ilona, holy shit! you look so nice tonight! whose idea was your hippy/gypsy vibe! I dig it! so many of the guys here would kill (not obviously of course, shit) to have you on their arm! why so down? why so glum? have a good night, yeah?”

finally to finish off, honestly how the fuck the teachers couldn’t understand that the constant degrading and negative remarks and treatment they were persistently giving me, made me feel like that I never deserved a date in the first place, I’ll never fucking know. 🤔

but when I changed to public school, why didn’t any of my teachers intervene with this? it was so much more enjoyable (but still annoying) to only have the boys in the year below me try to jockey for spots to take me to my year 12 formal (bc public school let you take anyone within a reasonable age range). but still. why is it pushed? in neither of these scenarios did I ever need a male friend to take me. I was more than happy going on my own to be with my friends 🤷🏻‍♀️. i had only one negative comment on the night of my year 12 formal. and that was my year coordinator saying that I was very awkward in high heels. but altoghter I brushed up nicely. but then again, I either misplaced my phone or it got stolen. bc by the end of the night, I didn’t have my phone. the highlight of the night was my teachers getting fucking smashed and constantly requesting that the soundtrack of grease be played along with a load of 70s/80s music 😂 it was great. 😅

the only reasons why I remember both of my formals so clearly are because one was so awfully negative and unbearable (year 10/junior) that I couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of there, and the other one was passable and tolerable, even if I did get my phone stolen (year 12/senior) 😂

so, this is a message to anyone who wants to be a teacher or has just become a new teacher in a high school: if you harass kids like this, over something so fucking goddamn trivial as a formal/prom date; I will literally come to fucking haunt you when I die. leave kids the fuck alone to have some fun with their friends.

[gayerthanthee]

Hearts and Halos|| The Privacy-Snooper

Chapter Two: The Privacy-Snooper

Previous Chapter: Hearts and Halos|| Pale White Feathers

Summary: From years of walking the Earth, James Buchanan Barnes hasn't been successful in his love life. Despite his looks, skills, charming personality and his sex/non-sex appeal, he couldn't find the right one. But when he wakes up in the middle of the night, he meets the unthinkable; an Angel. Not just any Angel, a Cupid that God sent Himself.

And so, he's in for a long, long ride, and the hunt for Bucky's Significant Other finally begins.

Named/Mentioned Character/s:

Bucky Barnes

(y/n) (l/n)

God

Steve Rogers

Natasha Romanoff(mentioned)

Tony Stark(mentioned)

Clint Barton(mentioned)

Warning/s:

Just a little Bucky breakdown, not a full one. But still kinda stings.

Word Count:

1819

Author's note/s:

If you're a religious person or not, it doesn't change how I can treat you. It's based on your attitude to me. But bringing that up, here, you are an Angel of God. You lived your life as a human on Earth and died and became an Angel and chose to be an Angel of Love, a Cupid. So no matter what belief you have, this is simply fictional and I hope to not make things heavy. This, all about God and Heaven, is for the sake of this AU. With that out, I hope you at least liked the last and like this as much as you did.:)

---

'Is that an angel snooping my diary?'

HEAVEN

A luminous beam of light was conjured in the  extravagant palace of Heaven. Yes, Heaven existed, like how Earth did. It was where the good and the pardoned resided after death. The after life of the deceased creations by the Almighty. Where souls and Angels lived. You might ask, don't the dead become Angels too once they get to Heaven? It's a little like that, you're right. But to be specific, yes, they become Angels, with halos and white wings. But not all of them are the same.

Once you get to the Gates of Heaven, you will be an Angel once you're deemed good throughout your life as a human, and you're officially welcomed in the haven. There, you may live peacefully and serene, with a home inside or out the main palace of Heaven. And, if you want to have responcibilities, you may talk to God in his place in the palace. He can give you what he can give. It's either being a Guardian Angel, an Archangel, and assistant or others. In (y/n)'s case, she chose to be a Cupid.

When the light dispersed, it showed (y/n) in her form as a Cupid. In white robes that embraced her body perfectly. Gladiator sandals that reached her knees, and a mystical bag that could carry almost anything. And last but not the least, a golden halo that was suspended ontop of her head, her pale white wings folded on her back.

As she walked towards God's office she looked for her love journal in her bag, pulling it out when she sees it. When she arrived on front of God's door she twisted the knob when she saw the rectangular green light on top.

"Oh, (y/n). Good to see you, my child." He greeted when he sees one of his hard-working Cupids.

"Hi Boss, good to see you too." She greeted too after shutting the door with a smile. "Er, I have a question, something about my job."

She neared his desk and laid the book before him. Opening it and turning to the last pages, it showed information about Bucky. His biography, the arcs of his life, how he is as a person, but his Significant Other was empty and his future was incomplete. And the other page, that was supposed to show about the person for him was complete empty. Except for the gender, though. "Why is it like this? Why doesn't it tell about Barnes' Significant Other?"

God raised his brows and smiled. "But it does tell about his Other," He paused and pointed down at the only information it had and this time, smiled cheekily. "it's a female."

(y/n) knew about that. She looked down at where he pointed and her brow furrows, before looking at her boss. "What is this all about, Boss?"

God had started to chuckle. "I thought you'd never ask. This whole mystery," He circled the pages, continuing. "is for me to know and for you to find out."

"What?" She cried. "Did you just get that out of a human' T.V. show?"

"Hmm, maybe?" "Come on Boss, what is this about, please?"

God saw the plead in her eyes, and was almost convinced to tell him who the Other was.

He sighed. "Think of it as a puzzle. A last challenge before stepping down from your title. But I'm telling you, you'll be thanking me after you fulfil this last mission. So you can't back out now."

"Can I at least have any hints, and clues?"

"Of course, you can. I can't resist one of my children, now can I?"

《♡》

SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA, EARTH

Bucky loved his best friend like his own brother, but you know how brothers can be sometimes. They can be a little bit..much.

Since Bucky told Steve of his little semi-episode earlier, he started to overreact a bit. Again, a bit...much.

"So I talked to Tony and told him to have security heightened around you just to make sure you're safe and I advice you not to get out much and make sure you don't lock yourself up and-"

"Steve," "-I don't want to hear you getting chased by-" "Steve." "-some goons and-"

"Jesus Christ Steve I know you care so much but you're getting a bit too much and it isn't helping the freaking situation much."

Bucky's chest was heaving as he chased his breath from the short outburst, but his eyes softened up at his pal when his mood seemed to droop.

"Look, I'm sorry for--I dunno, raising my voice at you? Yeah. But Steve, you gotta keep in mind that panicking like-" He gestured towards Steve from beside him. "-that doesn't really help. You're more worried than the person who's already a little jumpy."

The other man sighed. "I know." And he sighed again, by inhaling longer and letting it all out. "Yeah I know and I'm sorry. You know I can't-I can't help it." With that, he stared into his best friend's eyes with such emotion. "I just can't afford to lose my pal. Again."

Bucky nodded with an understanding smile, and pats Steve's back to try and pat away his worries somehow. "I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, bud."

Steve smiled back, albeit a little unsure, but nodded nonetheless.

"Mr. Rogers, Ms. Romanoff and Mr. Barton are waiting for you in the quinjet."

Steve raised his brows and looked up at the ceiling, a habit everytime he heard FRIDAY. Don't worry though, I assure you he's starting to get used to the A.I. He's improving.

"Welp, there's my cue," He stands and shifts his uniform properly. "stay safe. And keep an eye out, too."

Seeing Bucky nod carefully at his request, he attaches his shield to his back and turns away, leaving the compound. Leaving Bucky all on his own.

《♢》

Chewing at his gum, the (h/c)-headed man walked through the aisles of the grocery shop, making sure the man he's after doesn't lose his sight. He looks at the round mirror on the corner of the store, and saw the brunette take the canned food from the shelf and put it in his cart; turned his back and pushed the full trolley before pausing at his steps, slowly darting his eyes around and continuing his way to the counter.

The (h/c)head walked carefully as he pretended to examine the dairy products on the aisle he was at, placing a carton of milk on his basket. Watching the man from the corner of his eye.

He watched as the brunette man checked out his items and walked out of the shop, so he puts back the carton of milk and drops the basket carefully on the ground; walking briskly to follow the man he's pursuing and chucking out his gum to the garbage bin without batting an eye.

Bucky had gotten out after lunch to buy the groceries. He felt like he wanted to go out at the moment, but still, he had a reason why. Hmph, all this despite Steve's light request. Mean.

Without a doubt, he was being followed again. No, he didn't just have a hunch, he was sure. He saw the man looking at him as Bucky took a glance on the round mirror above the entrance of the small shop. And after checking out, he immediately left and tested if he was definitely the follower.

Bucky, with the plastic bags, went to the ice cream vendor who had his stand near the park. He thought of stopping for a while to see if the familiar man was still there, but at the same time he really did want to have ice cream, though. Nothing bad with that.

After purchasing his cone he sat on a bench and rested, giving his legs a break. He takes a harmless lick on the dairy and carefully devours it, savoring the sweetness of the ice cream, and as he does so, his eyes shoot from one direction to another. He's not here. The man's not anywhere. He lost sight of his follower.

Was he being followed, or was he not? He was very sure he was. Even I was, whoops.

And so, our man here sighs and walks the pavement under the now darkening evening. Clouds and clouds seeming to embrace the stars from above, accompanied by the moon who replaced the sun's place in the sky.

Then he makes a sharp turn and walks into the darkness of an alley.

He leans his back into the concrete wall and anticipated for the other sound of footsteps to continue and inch closer. He waited for seconds. And seconds turned to minutes, until it felt like forever, which makes him finally decide to sneak a peak out the alley.

No sight of the man.

He felt stupid. But Bucky felt it. Again. And when he thought he could get the chance to finally confront him, that's just what it was. A thought.

《♧》

From his kneeling position by his bed, he stood, and wiped his tired face wih his hands, pulling at his hair when he held it.

He pulled his hair harshly, as if he waited for scalp to tear from his head. His teeth were bared as he grinded them. His head shaking the slightest.

Bucky was frustrated. He was frustrated at the man who he couldn't grasp. He was frustrated at the situation. He was frustrated at himself. At how he was weak and helpless.

He could feel the gaping hole in his chest. The way it was empty as if something was torn from inside him. He was panting. Hoping that each and every breath he took would feel the vacancy inside his empty but beating heart.

Eventually, his actions started to cease. His face was untensed and he calmed his breath. He wiped away the tears that made their way down his cheeks and wiped what was left from his eyes.

He dropped his bottom to his bed and inched towards the middle, enveloping his comforter around his defeated form as he forced himself to rest. For his emotions to cease.

He blindly reached for the lamp as his eyes were shut. When he felt the little rope, he pulls it down gently, turning out the light before he slept.

He didn't know how long he was asleep and what time he did, but he definitely knew it wasn't long.

But where did the sudden and gentle luminosity before his screwed eyelids come from?

Then he heard it. The sound of paper scraping lightly against paper. The silent mumbling out loud from behind him.

When he peaked through his eyelids, he saw the dark abyss of a sky from the gap of his curtains. And when he looked from the corner of his eye, the ceiling's light was off. Even the lamp was off, being in that side of his room. The intense light on his walls must be coming from this intruder's torch.

Slowly, he turned his body to the other side and his eyes flew wide at what he was witnessing, before narrowing to observe better.

'Is that an angel snooping my diary?'

----

I'm back! Sorry for being gone. I actually got this done since last week but I didn't get to put it in Tumblr. But now I got it though:))

Be safe!

-Xandra

[missrkl]

Descendants of Acts 2 - Easter Special

Chapter Five

Rachel’s monthly was coming, her two period of being fertile, and there were moments in her life, once every few months she would have it really bad. She would be extremely angry, or extremely horny, and the pain of the monthly would also be extreme. There was some medical term for it. Rachel felt a headache coming on as she sat in her online bible school. The lights was irritating her eyes, the sounds of the volume of the speakers of the students and teachers talking frustrated her. Rachel had negative thoughts as well, she was tired of this pandemic, she was tired of this monthly pain every month, for her it was really really bad. Soon the school finished and Rachel was able to sign out. She inhaled and exhaled deeply. As she went downstairs into the kitchen to get something to eat she saw the kitchen sink piled up, her parents always left their mess because of saving water, ‘wash only when there is a lot’ and so Rachel was already feeling fatigued because of the hormonal changes in her body, and she washed the dishes with annoyance. She cleaned up the kitchen and then made her dinner and ate it in the silence. Rachel decided to go to her online virtual reality The Holy Bible and as she went back upstairs and washed and prepped for bed, in her pjs and her curly hair up in a bun, she looked at herself in the mirror. She felt like wearing this sexy red dress for Pjs. Rachel thought she deserved to treat herself, after all here she was struggling and suffering, she deserved to have a good time.

Rachel logged on and saw David online, good. She changed her virtual outfit as well, black leather from top to toe, with long leather boots. David checked her out. Rachel wasn’t in the mood for chit chat and motioned for them to get started. She wanted to visit the South of town. The hardest town to crack in this game. They went to the market first and Rachel kept searching but at first couldn’t find anything. Then she saw this cross made out of diamonds. It has the words Gospel. She loved shiny things, and women loved jewellery, so she bought it. David began talking to her about his day and Rachel was only half listening. Nodding here and there and she believed that David probably didn’t notice any difference in her.

As they got nearer to the south of town, there was a strong darkness covering the area. David began having second thoughts, “hey Rachel, I don’t think we’re ready for this yet. I didn’t find anything in the market today”. Rachel rolled her eyes and said “we make a strong team David, let’s just give it a try, I’m sure we can turn back. You scratch my back I scratch yours remember?” This was their motto to spur each other on their missions. David said okay but lagged a little behind her. Rachel ran on ahead filled with irritation of the day she had. As Rachel entered the town the darkness covered her, she couldn’t see much. It felt like such a strong thick fog. Like a ‘valley of the shadow of death’ (psalm 23). Unknown to Rachel the town was surrounded by demonic forces that were weaving their powers to create the darkness. There was also the spirit of deception in the air. Rachel’s eyesight soon adjusted to the darkness as she felt David close behind her. She could feel his breath on her neck. At least she wasn’t alone. There didn’t seem to be any citizens here, maybe thEre wasn’t any? David said “We need to get rid of this dark fog covering.” Rachel saw this shrine just up ahead. It had Rachel’s deepest darkest secret sin, a very sexy lady dressed quite provocatively. It was like the demons knew her sin, though no one else knew, even in the virtual world? How is that possible? She was sure she wasn’t a lesbian. She just, found women attractive and that turned her on. Rachel gulped and she walked closer to this shrine and saw that it was surrounded by candles, was it an idol? Rachel had always hoped she would look like the women she liked, jealous of them was always something she hid well. Rachel could not feel David near her anymore. As Rachel gazed and gazed at this shrine the more her onscreen character became enraptured by it. Soon her character was so enraptured by it that Rachel could not move her character on the screen. Was it frozen? Rachel kept moving but nothing was happening. Boiling with anger Rachel flapped her arms about and as she did so her character had grabbed David who was now next to her and flung him down with a big wham! What was going on?

There was another player on the screen, a person who played the game with bad intentions, they had created some sort of spell on Rachel’s character, it was a hack code to control Rachel’s character! She had lost control! Rachel kept screaming at David, but her character would no longer obey and all she could do was watch as she saw her onscreen character take out her small knife. What was she going to do? She couldn’t just let this hacker hack her! Rachel quickly phoned her friend Michael, he was a computer freak, he’d know what to do. As she dialled michael’s number David was fighting back unsure as to what was going on. The demonic forces in the game was sneering and laughing at her at the same time. Michael picked up the phone and Rachel explained what had happened. So Michael hacked onto the programme and came up as a character on the screen, a blonde haired woman as he had just chosen the first character. Michael began typing in some sort of hackers code on screen as Rachel watched the knife going nearer and nearer to David. Self sabotage? Who knew this was possible in a game? Soon Michael’s hacker code was able to unlock and undo the damage done by the evil hacker and Rachel was able to control her character again as David whacked her on the head and she had fallen on the floor with a thud! Ow! Rachel screamed at David and then explained she was hacked.

All three of the characters stood side by side as Michael remove the hackers access to their location and soon he disappeared, and so did Michael. Rachel thanked Michael. Rachel had had enough, she already had a tough day and she had been swearing all day because everything had angered and frustrated her, including lights and sounds and with her monthly hormonal changes that made her way hormonal and emotional. Soon she was crying both in the game and real world. David held her and asked what was wrong. So in the darkness with the demonic forces watching Rachel confessed her sins of the week, the swearing, the throwing things at the wall in anger and frustration at her family, the sexy ladies she had been looking at online lately and David just listened. In the game the demonic forces began throwing the law right at Rachel, each hit was imminent, creating wounds and Rachel’s character was soon almost half breathing and in David’s arms. Alarmed David wondered what was going on? What kind of battle was this? David looked around and noticed the demonic forces, the law attacks and realised what had to be done. Rachel had bought something in the market. He scrambled around in her backpack until he found it and took out The Gospel. The diamond cross soon began to speak aloud in the darkness as the holy light of the gospel began to envelope around it:

Started off with a prayer - What can I offer the Lord

    for all he has done for me?

I will lift up the cup of salvation

    and praise the Lord’s name for saving me.

I will keep my promises to the Lord

    in the presence of all his people.

The Lord cares deeply

    when his loved ones die.

Psalm 116:12-15

Rachel’s eyes shed a tear. The lord cares deeply when his loved ones die. The gospel continued:

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, ‘Take it; this is my body.’ Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, and they all drank from it. ‘This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many,’ he said to them. ‘Truly I tell you, I will not drink again from the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new in the kingdom of God.’

When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.

Mark 14:22-26

This moment must have haunted the disciples the following day. Jesus’ strange words at supper must have replayed in their minds as his body was literally broken and His blood was actually shed on the cross. And then the day after that was the Sabbath and so, with broken hearts they would have dutifully attended synagogue returning home for a familiar, highly ritualised meal. 

‘Lunch on that Sabbath, straight after synagogue, would have begun as it always did with a blessing spoken out—are you ready for this?—over the bread and wine that were to be served with the meal. If any of the eleven remaining disciples were capable of eating that day, the grace spoken before lunch on Holy Saturday would have stabbed their hearts with remembrance of that Last Supper shared with Jesus . . . Sometimes, when God is silent, our hearts are breaking and our prayers lie unanswered, there can still be signs: faint flickers of hope and meaning expressed to us and for us in Scripture, in fellowship, and especially in the bread and wine.’

Yielding Prayer

Remembering the sacrifice of Jesus, I offer myself today as a living sacrifice for those I meet, by lifting my hands in surrender and personalising the words of the Anglican Service of Communion:

‘Almighty God, I thank you for feeding me with the body and blood of Your Son Jesus Christ. Through him I offer you my soul and body to be a living sacrifice. Send me out in the power of Your Spirit to live and work to Your praise and glory.’

Rachel remembered in both virtual and real life that Jesus had died for her and forgiven her sins. There was no longer any more need for sacrifice for Jesus was the perfect lamb of God who had taken away her sins. “I’m sorry Jesus” Rachel said aloud and David heard her. Soon the gospel gave life to Rachel’s character and she was able to stand up. Rachel looked around her as she saw the law of demonic religious forces around her and she filled with holy wrath this time opened up her bible on the screen and read out loud:

“But those who depend on the law to make them right with God are under his curse, for the Scriptures say, “Cursed is everyone who does not observe and obey all the commands that are written in God’s Book of the Law.””

‭‭Galatians‬ ‭3:10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I rely on Jesus! I rely on Jesus! Rachel shouted. Rachel had remembered Jesus, his forgiveness, his mercy, his slow to anger, his sacrifice end kindness and as she remembered how forgiven she was, how she didn’t need to earn and she herself didn’t earn this salvation the darkness of the south town lifted. As the darkness lifted Rachel and David saw lots of citizens in chains of religion. So Rachel read to them the gospel story, the place shook. Then Rachel remembered the weapon of praise, she took it out and a song began to play:

There is no bondage

Every chain is broken

There is no bondage

Jesus our hearts are open

No guilt, no shame

All my stains erased

There is no bondage

Every chain is broken

There is no bondage

Every chain is broken

There is no bondage

Jesus our hearts are open

No guilt, no shame

All my stains erased

There is no bondage

Every chain is broken

Every chain is broken

Every chain is broken

Every chain is broken

Every chain is broken

Every chain is broken

Every chain is broken

Every chain is broken

Every chain is broken

Every chain is broken

Every chain is broken

Every chain is broken

(No bondage jubilee worship)

As the song played Rachel took the weapon of praise sword and began slashing the chains of the citizens and they all got on their knees and declared Jesus as their lord and saviour, especially after having witnessed Rachel face her sin and conquer it with The Gospel. A thousand citizens came to Christ that day. Rachel and David took them to the temple of the lord and a message was sent to them stating that since they beat this level that only few can beat, they have been invited to join the Justice League tournament of the holy Bible game in the national tournament in December. They would compete against those others who had also passed this level and the winner would win a new bible that is quite large and lots of Christian books and worships albums and an actual trophy with their name engraved on it. David and Rachel hugged each other and David told Rachel never to give up hope, and next time she was having a bad day to please let him know first before just heading off into battle!

[moonraccoon-exe]

Okay, so I was tagged by @paixen to list and rave about my 10 favorite characters aND I CANNOT CHOOSE A TOP 10, so I’m just going to write characters as they come to my head, please have mercy on me, also some of you may have seen me rant about some before, okay, here I go

1. Ignis Scientia from FFXV: PLEASE DON’T GET ME STARTED.

2. Emil Castagnier, from Tales of Symphonia 2: OKAY, I really need to rant on this one because Emil is tagged as the third or fourth most annoying RPG protagonist to exist AND WHY. Maybe it’s my over developed sense of empathy, but really I understand his attitude and I LOVE the progress he had across the story. He’s a kid that’s been rejected and mistreated all his life, OF COURSE HE’S SHY AND QUIET AND INTROVERT. Protagonists tend to be all brave and almighty and risky. But introverts? We’re veeery rarely EVER portrayed as the heroes or heroines. Introverts are always the shy bookworm wizard or the quiet sassy sidekick, but never the hero. That’s why I loved his character so much, he’s actually very introvert and shy and very insecure, so of course he sounds “whiny”; they’ve literally thrown him into a risky adventure against his will, of course he’s scared. But then you see him deal with his internal problems, lrean to balance the two sides of him, and he ends up being a SUPER AMAZING HERO, because he wasn’t brave, he LEARNED TO BE BRAVE for the sake of the planet’s safety and well being.

Pus his ending is AMAZING I WAS TEARING UP THE ENTIRE TIME, because holyghsduhatrs, not spoiling but what a sacrifice man, like do you know how many GUTS does it take to accept something like that??? AND THEN WHETHER YOU GET GOOD OR BAD ENDING, HE’S JUST SO SELFLESS AND

HNGHFNHFGDHFG *IMPLODES*

INTROVERT PROTAGONISTS FOR THE WIN

3. Tsukasa Futaba or Patrick Sprigs from Megaman Starforce (Ryuusei no Rockman): WHAT IS IT WITH ME AN THE INTROVERT OR MOST HURT OF THE SERIES- *deep breath* This guy. This lovely guy. The poor thing is struggling with literally himself, except it’s not himself. I LOVED his design as Gemini due to the dual personalities like jesus christ, nice thing you did there, writers. I adore his soft, vanilla side because he really is sincere. HE DOESN’T MEAN TO BE MEAN.I feel so bad when he’s refraining himself from doing any harm, it breaks my heart because it’s a DS game and it’s lil avatars but you can see his struggle and- *deep breath* he kills me. He really means to harm to anyone and he’s sefless too, he just- can’t control it. ;____;

4. Fye D. Flowright from Tsubasa Chronicles PLEASE DO NOT GET ME STARTED I WILL NOT STOP HNNFNGFNGF

5. Remus Lupin from Harry Potter, because the man is the most adorable creature to have ever existed, he’s only very scared, he’s insecure, and he only needs to be cuddled and he wants the best for everyone and quiet introvert with love for books and “I’d rather stay home curled under a blanket by the fireplace than go out thank you very much” mood, yessss.

6. Zuko, from Avatar TLA: Ohboi where do I even start. Zuko has one of the best character development in history. He goes majestically from “I am so angered at everyone I will kill you all I only love ME” to “Shit, I was SO WRONG, truth is I was angered at only myself, how do I fix this” with all the steps in between. For a character to realize he’s wrong, that’s one amazing thing. But to go through all stages of it, the ough beginning, the slow realization, the outrage and outbursts of denial, accepting it, crying it, then come to his peace...boi. OH. BOI. Plus, his story has always made me HNFGNGF cause it’s so good. And he’s handsome in the last book. Also firebending = EPICNESS. 

7. I’m trying to pick someone from Final Fantasy Type 0 but most of them are all my babies how do I choose, *eternally sobbing*

8. I am running out of ideas.

9. Death Note’s Light Yagami: because this smartass is so INCREDIBLE. He never- no matter how many times I watch the show (I’ve only done that twice lmao but you get my point) he still mind-blows me. He’s so smart and smooth and sneaky and I hate him so much this bastard I LOVE him. Mamoru Miyano is god in his voice acting, and his latinamerican voice actor did INCREDIBLE and I am hopelessly in love with the voice and the character and one of the best bloody moments is when he’s following this woman around who could easily figure out it’s him, and he keeps staring at his clock and she’s like “Why you looking at your clock so much” and he’s like GIVES THAT EVIL STARE AT HER AND GOODBYE LMAO. Not to say about the moment he’s imprisonated with his MASTERPLAN JESAUSHOLYCHRIST FIRST TIME I SAW THAT I WAS OUT OF MY MIND I HAD TO PAUSE TO SCREAM BECAUSE WOAHMANWHATTHEFUCKTHAT’SEPIC

10. The Maze Runner’s Newt: ....please leave me alone ;____;     *runs away crying*

Okay so I have NO IDEA who to tag, but if you want to do this you tag me as if I tagged you. Have fun!!  ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ

[live4thelord]

What Is the Wrath of God?

In Tuesday’s Mass there was a reference to the wrath of God: The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness (Romans 1:18).

What is God’s wrath? It is spoken of often in Scripture but is a concept with which we must be careful. On the one hand, we cannot simply dismiss it as contrary to the fact that God is love, but on the other, we cannot deny that God’s wrath is unfit in terms of His love.

Let’s consider some aspects of the complex reality of the wrath of God. There is not enough space to cover the topic fully in a single post, so I welcome your additions and subtractions in the comments section, as always.

The wrath of God is not merely an Old Testament concept. In fact, it is mentioned quite frequently in the New Testament as well. Here are a few of the many New Testament passages:

Jesus said, “Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains upon him” (John 3:36).

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord (Rom 12:19).

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things [e.g., immorality] God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient (Ephesians 5:6).

For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Thessalonians 5:9).

The angel swung his sickle on the earth, gathered its grapes and threw them into the great winepress of God’s wrath (Revelation 14:19).

Clearly, the “wrath of God” is not some ancient or primitive concept with which the New Testament has dispensed. Notice also that the wrath of God is not something reserved for the end of the world; it is spoken of as already operative in certain people.

What is God’s wrath, and how can we reconcile it with His love? Consider these explanations. Taken together, they can lead us to an overall understanding.

God’s wrath is His passion to set things right. We see an example of this right at the beginning, in Genesis, when God cursed Satan and uttered the protoevangelium: I will make you and the woman enemies … one of her seed will crush your head while you strike at his heel (Genesis 3:15). God is clearly angered at what sin has done to Adam and Eve, and He continues to have anger whenever He beholds sin and injustice. He has a passion for our holiness. He wants what is best for us and is angered by what hinders this. All sins provoke His wrath, but there are five that especially cry out to Heaven for vengeance: willful murder (Gen 4:10), the sin of the Sodomites (Gen 18:20, 19:13), the cry of the oppressed (Exodus 3:7-10); the cry of the foreigner, the widow, and the orphan (Ex 20:20-22), and injustice to the wage earner (Deuteronomy 24:14-5, James 5:4, Catechism of the Catholic Church # 1867). In terms of sin, injustice, and anything that hinders the possibility of salvation, God has a wrathful indignation and a passion to set things right. This is part of His love for us. His wrath may be manifested through punishment, disturbance of our conscience, or simply by allowing us to experience the consequences of our sin.

God’s wrath is not like our anger. In saying that God is angry we ought to be careful to understand that however God experiences anger (or any passion), it is not tainted by sin. God is not angry in the way that we are. When we get angry, we often lose control, saying and doing things that are excessive if not downright sinful. It cannot pertain to God to have temper tantrums, fly off the handle, or lash out unreasonably. The way God does experience anger is not something we can fully understand but it is surely a sovereign and serene act of His will, not an out-of-control emotion.

God is not moody. It does not pertain to God to have good days and bad days, good moods and bad ones. Scripture seems clear enough that God does not change. Consider this from the Book of James: Every good and perfect gift comes from above, from the Father of lights, in whom there is no variableness or shadow of turning (James 1:17). Hence, God’s wrath does not represent Him suddenly getting fed up, or His temper flaring, or His mood souring. He does not change; He is not variable.

God’s wrath is our experience of the total incompatibility of our sinful state before the holiness of God. Sin and God’s holiness just don’t mix; they can’t keep company. Think of fire and water; they cannot coexist in the same place. Bring them together and you can hear the conflict. Think of a small amount of water poured into a large fire: the water droplets sizzle and pop; steam rises as the water boils away. If there is a lot of water, the fire is overwhelmed and extinguished. The point is that they cannot coexist; they will conflict, and one will win. This is God’s wrath: the complete incompatibility of two things, sin and His utter holiness. We must be purified before entering His presence, otherwise we could not tolerate His glory. We would wail and grind our teeth, turning away in horror. The wrath is the conflict between our sin and God’s holiness. God cannot and will not change, so we must be changed or else we will experience wrath.

The primary location of God’s wrath is not in Him; it is in us. God does not change; He is holy and serene; He is love. If we experience His wrath it is on account of us, not Him.

It is we who change, not God, and this causes wrath to be experienced or not.

Consider the following example. On the ceiling of my bedroom is a fixture with a 100-watt light bulb. Before bed at night, I delight in the light; I become accustomed to it. At bedtime, I turn off the light and go to sleep. When I awake it is still dark, and I turn on the light. Now now it seems too bright, and I curse it. Obviously, the light itself has not changed; it is just as bright in the early morning hours as it was the previous evening. The light is the same, but I have changed. Yet do you know what I do? I blame the light, saying, “That light is so harsh!” The light is not any harsher than it was the night before when I was perfectly happy with it. Now that I have changed, I experience its “wrath,” but the wrath is really in me.

Now consider the experience of the ancient family of man with God. Adam and Eve walked with God in the cool of the evening when the dew collected on the grass (cf Gen 3:8). They had a warm friendship with Him and did not fear His presence. After sinning, they hid. Had God changed? No, they had. They now experienced Him very differently.

Fast forward to another theophany. God had come to Mt Sinai, and as He descended the people were terrified, for there were peals of thunder, lightning, clouds, and the blast of a trumpet. The people told Moses, “You speak to us, and we will listen, but let not God speak to us, else we will die” (Ex 20:19). God, too, warned Moses that the people could not get close lest His wrath be vented upon them (Ex 19:20-25). Had God changed? No, He was the same God who had walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the evening in a most intimate way. It was we who had changed. We had lost the holiness without which no one can see the Lord (Heb 12:14). The same God, unchanged though He was, now seemed frightening and wrathful.

What, then, shall we do? If we can allow the image of fire to remain before us, we may well find a hopeful sign in God’s providence. If God is a holy fire, a consuming fire (cf Heb 12:26; Is 33:14), how can we possibly come into His presence? How can we avoid the wrath that would destroy us? Well, what is the only thing that survives in the presence of fire? Fire! It looks as if we’d better become fire if we want to see God. He sent tongues of fire upon the apostles and upon us at our Confirmation. God wants to set us on fire with the Holy Spirit in holiness. He wants to bring us up to the temperature of glory so that we can stand in His presence.

See, I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me. Then suddenly the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come, says the LORD Almighty. But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner’s fire or a launderer’s soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness, and the offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be acceptable to the LORD, as in days gone by, as in former years (Mal 3:1-4).

Indeed, Jesus has now come: For you have turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath (1 Thess 1:10-11).

So, there is a “wrath of God,” and it is more in us than it is in Him. I will not claim that there is no wrath in God. Scripture seems clear that wrath does pertain to God’s inner life. What exactly it is and how He experiences it is a mystery to us. We can say to some extent what it is not, but we cannot really say what it is exactly. A far richer point to meditate is that the wrath of God is essentially in us. It is our experience of the incompatibility of sin before God. We must be washed clean in the Blood of the Lamb and purified. Most of us will need purification in Purgatory, too. However, if we let the Lord work His saving work, we will be saved from the wrath, for we are made holy and set on fire with His love—and fire doesn’t fear the presence of fire. God is love, but He will not change; His love must change us

[mimichootings]

The Mackerel Fiesta

Thank you, Gethin. Ladies and gentlemen, it is, I must say, a great honour to be here today, and to preside over this wonderful fiesta, now in its thirteenth year. I have heard one or two complaints that, as festivals go, ours is less than venerable, and, indeed, is a rather artificial affair, a flimsy excuse for public inebriation, not based at all on a genuine tradition, but shamelessly copied from similar festivals to be found in Spain or Portugal, one or the other, or perhaps both, or neither. Malta maybe? But never mind about that. Some cynical souls have even suggested that the whole event has been manufactured with the sole aim of drawing in crowds of gullible tourists and pocketing their foolishly spent money. Yes, boo hiss indeed, ladies and gentlemen. Boo hiss indeed. Well might you boo, and well might you hiss. But not with your mouth full, Mr. Jenkins, that would be my advice. But, looking around me, I see so many local faces, that, while I won’t say that this is a local fiesta for local people, ha ha, it does illustrate the value we in this lovely little town attach to a sense of community, for what can bring a community together more effectively, more cohesively, than burning a giant fish on a beach?

 Those of you who have attended the fiesta before will know the routine: from here we march in procession to the sweet sounds of our talented band, through the centre of town, over the bridge, down to the yacht club, where there will be some entertainment and a few words from me (as if that weren’t entertainment enough), and then it’s just a short walk to the beach, where, after we have given thanks to Almighty God, our fishy friend here will make the supreme sacrifice, and be set alight. And then, at the end, we’ll have the raffle, with the first prize being this impressive magnum bottle of champagne. For the procession we have, as you see, six bearers to carry the effigy―a round of applause, ladies and gentlemen―including Mr. Andrews, who, of course, being a genuine local undertaker, is used to this sort of thing. Following them will be our weeping, wailing widows, and a fine sight they are, I’m sure you’ll agree, ladies and gentlemen, so another round of applause, if you please. Don’t milk it, Mrs. Pryce-Evans, there’s really no need for a twirl.

 Right then, if everything is ready, let the procession begin! Don’t push, Gethin, I’m ahead of you, it’s only proper. I wish this music were a bit more mournful; rather too jaunty for the occasion, don’t you think? Widows, your keening is commendable, but might I suggest a few more ululations, and less of the giggling, if you please. This is a serious matter, after all. Thank you, Mrs. Pryce-Evans; that was an excellent flutter of the handkerchief, but try not to overdo it. Let dignity be your goal. And bearers, if you could just attempt to assume a more solemn air, that would be appreciated. For God’s sake! Who is that wearing trainers? Mr. Andrews, I am disappointed! You, of all people, should know better. Some of you, I regret to say, are not taking this quite as seriously as you should, but there we are, it can’t be helped, I suppose. What is it, Gethin? No, I don’t want a shot, get back to your place, mun.

 Now then, ladies and gentlemen, here we are, and, as promised, we will have some entertainment for you very shortly. But first, as your minister, it behoves me to say a few words on this momentous and splendid occasion. Those of you who know me will know that community is one of my chief concerns, and in our community, we value very much those members of it who go out to sea and bring us back its bounty, braving the winds and the waves and the terrors of the deep. Thank you, God, for keeping them safe. But God, if you must know, I have bone to pick with you, because, to tell the truth, the catch has been a bit disappointing this year, hasn’t it? Not much of a bounty at all, really. And what’s worse, it’s a continuation of a recent trend. People talk about overfishing and marine pollution and what-have-you, but other towns and villages, some of them not so very far from here, have done much better than us, and that’s a fact. Why is that, Lord? What have we done? Where have we sinned? I know you move in mysterious ways; that, I can’t deny. But if, in your infinite and impenetrable wisdom, you could see to it that next year we have a better catch, I for one would be most grateful. To that end, we offer you this piscine effigy, and hope you like it. In fact, I’d say it looks so fetching, that you’d be a bit of an odd fish not to. Odd fish, ha ha.

 Now, I am well-known in these parts for the keen interest I take in fishing matters, which some have said rivals the interest I take in religious matters. More than rivals, thank you! Mr. Jenkins, there, always ready with his little quips, some of them, as you can see, being less successful than others. I have been on several fact-finding missions across the globe in order to develop and enhance my understanding of the issues, and to attempt to find a solution to the relative dearth in maritime produce that has brought about so much local consternation. For instance, at the Trøllbøgrøll Institute in Bergen, in Norway, where I have been―TWICE!―I was reliably informed that the annual percentage, not excluding… Ah, I see that Gethin is gesturing to me in that characteristically frantic way of his, and I can only interpret his gestures as a polite reminder that time is of the essence, and on that, he has my full agreement, for if we take a moment to consider time, yes alright Gethin, keep your bloody hair on, boy.

 Right, time now, ladies and gentlemen, for that entertainment I mentioned earlier, for which I am sure you have been waiting with baited breath. And so, without further ado, let me introduce you to someone who needs no introduction, the one and only, our very own, Mrs. Llinos Wendy Davies! A warm welcome, ladies and gentlemen, please. That’s better. It’s a thrilling performance we have in store for us now, ladies and gentlemen, because Mrs. Davies, who no doubt has already captured your attention with her remarkable attire, is about to combine the noble arts of belly dancing and fire juggling. Take it away, Mrs. Davies!

 After that eye-opening spectacle, no-one can say that the years have not been kind to Mrs. Davies. Indeed, one might say that age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite b―yes, you’re right, Gethin, that would probably be a bit off-colour. Well caught. Careful, there, Mrs. Davies, one of the torches is not quite―Good God, she’s on fire! Someone put her out, for the love of Christ, I can’t bear all that screaming. What are you doing? You can’t chuck her in the harbour, the bloody tide’s out, mun. What? The prize champagne? But what about the raffle? Oh, sweet Jesus, what a waste! Still, at least she’s out. Thank you, Mrs. Davies, that was unforgettable. Don’t worry, the ambulance is on its way. I’m sure, ladies and gentlemen, that you will all join me in wishing Mrs. Davies a speedy recovery. Now then, Gethin, what can we get to replace the champagne? We need something for the main prize. A big bottle of Strongbow? Very well, it will have to do. Wait, it looks as if it’s been opened. Well, if it’s only one swig, I suppose no-one will mind.

 Ladies and gentlemen, after that excitement, it is time now to move on to the ceremony itself. Bearers, widows: to your positions please, so that we can go down to the beach. Musicians, there’s no need, we have had the benefit of your talents for long enough now. This year, ladies and gentlemen, in a bit of an innovation, we have built really quite a large pyre on which the mackerel will be placed. A bit more oomph, you see, like a Viking funeral. Doesn’t it do the town proud? Here we are. Before we consign this extraordinary effigy to the flames, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to say a few brief words and to lead us all in prayer. Yes, Gethin, I did say brief. Lord, we are gathered here today in thy presence to give thanks for thy munificence, which, though in the opinion of some may have fallen a bit short in recent years, nonetheless blesses us and is still a cause for gratitude, and after all, Lord, who are we to complain? We are but maggots, crawling and slithering repulsively in the noxious depths of sin and iniquity, blind to thy holy purposes, Lord, and undeserving, mostly, of the paltry crumbs of sustenance you deign to drop, from time to time, when the mood suits you, and evidently it hasn’t suited you much this past year or in previous years, but that’s quite alright, mustn’t grumble, you are the Lord of Light and Life, after all, and we thy humble―alright Gethin, no need for that. Burn the damn thing, amen.

 Well, ladies and gentlemen, it’s a promising start to the conflagration. The mighty, marvellous, majestic, magnificent mackerel really giving out some heat, there, ha ha, although I do detect a faint aroma of… I’m not quite sure what, exactly, but I can’t honestly say it’s pleasant. Gethin, what did you use to make the fish? Plastic! Good God, mun! Whose bright idea was that? No, it was not my idea, you lying git. What kind of plastic? What do you mean you don’t know? No, it’s not a bloody technical question, it… wait, are those tyres? You put car tyres in the pyre! You fucking idiot! You useless bucket of shit! Jesus fucking Christ, the smoke coming off that thing! Oh God, the smell! No, no, ladies and gentlemen, stay put, I think the wind is about to change. Yes, yes, there we are, see, blowing it all back into town, out of the way. Great black billows of Satanically noxious smoke, pretty poisonous, I should think. I hope people in town are inside with their windows closed, although on a lovely sunny day like this, it’s quite possible that they’re not. Still, rather them than us, ladies and gentlemen, eh? Ha ha. No. No, Mr. Jenkins, you’re right, that was inappropriate. Gethin, you’re sure this isn’t dangerous, aren’t you? I mean, I hope we’re not going to get sued.

 Oh Christ, I think the wind has changed again. No, don’t panic, ladies and gentlemen, there’s no cause for alarm, it’s simply a minor… My eyes! My God, my eyes! And my throat, too! Thank you, Lord, thanks a fucking bunch. Run! Run, ladies and gentlemen, run for your lives! Christ on a bike, I’m blind! Oh fuck fuck fuck. Gethin! Gethin! Gethin, where are you, boy? Don’t leave me! Oh, the pain! I can’t breathe. Not like this, Lord! Not like this!