#i love the implication of that scene becoming the new supernatural news meme

[goldeneyedgirl]

2019 Fic Meme

My end of year fic meme, compiled from some old Livejournal fic memes that I do when I write stuff. I do this for fun, because I like looking back at what I have and haven’t written, and what keeps popping up again.

It’s meant to be silly fun, and if anyone else wants to do it, PLEASE DO. I don’t want to tag anyone and put pressure on you in case you don’t want to/don’t think you have enough fic/hate memes. 

Twilight

12 Days of Fic-Mas (Twilight, WIP) Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, bonus.  Twelve days of fic extracts, previews, and drabbles focusing on Alice Cullen. Encompasses Folie A Deux, The Only Girl in the World, JessaminexAlice, Omens, Asylum, The Long Way Around, The Dark and the Unknown, Hybrid, Runaway, All These Broken Things, & The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon 

Shadow to Light  (WIP) (Alice/Jasper, AU Angst, PG) In 1918, Jasper lures the newborn known as Mary-Alice back to Monterrey. He is lost to her before it even begins.

Total number of completed stories: Lol.

Total word count: 33,304 words were posted. 

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?  Look, I just... 2019 was a wash in so many ways. I played a lot of Fortnite really badly. I would have loved to be able to say Shadow to Light was finished, or that I was posting Hybrid regularly or something, but I can’t. I wish, wish, wish I had posted more but alas. 

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Outside of Twilight, I dabbled with some reader/Ben in the Umbrella Academy, and I was messing around with some Janet/Wanda in my personal MCU canon. As for Twilight, I think my stuff got a lot darker? Like, we’re down the rabbit hole here, and somehow Alice ended up being the most feared vampire in the Americas? Yeah. 

And there’s the Avengers/Twilight fic that is simultaneously three fics and one fic because I cannot make Executive Decisions and I can’t decide if I like 1. Alice knowing Bucky from Before Jasper; 2. Alice knowing Hawkeye from when he was a kid in the circus and being how Natasha and Clint got out of Budapest, or 3. the Volturi hooking up with Hydra and ... yeah, I think this one is legit the most second-most one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever written. (I’ve been filing today, and boy howdy have I written some actual shit.)

What’s your own favourite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? That’s like making me pick a favourite child. I’m always so, so proud of Shadow to Light, and I love The Dark and the Unknown ‘verse, and Hybrid is just hanging out there, chilling and ugh. My babies <3 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?  TwilightFicMas was a huge risk! I wasn’t sure anyone cared unless I was posting more Shadow to Light, and people were SO nice and enthusiastic. So I guess the lesson is shut up and share more fic? Get out of your own head and spend time in the community because fandom isn’t meant to be lonely?

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?  I’m starting a graphic design business AND my masters in design in 2020, so I figure fic is going to be my downtime next year. Ideally, I would love to get STL finished, Memento Vivere’s sequel going, and have a few of my shorter pieces posted. I would really love to get some of my original stuff ready for publication, but I’d be happy studying, running my business, and doing the fic thing for 2020.  

My best story of this year: That’s up to the readers, I guess. Everyone seemed obscenely enthusiastic about The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon, though, and I was not expecting that at all - I was actually upset that I left the ‘dud’ fic for the last day of FicMas. 

My most popular story: Shadow to Light. Everyone is so nice and enthusiastic and polite about that one. I’m not used to it! Fandom for me is usually me sitting in a corner, doin’ my obscure thing, and maybe one or two people will read what I’m working on.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:  I think everyone was super enthusiastic and nice about everything I posted this year. Maybe Folie A Deux? But like, that reflects more on me and the excerpts that I chose to post rather than the fic or the audience itself. 

Most fun story to write:  The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon because that Alice is so happy; I have this playlist for it that is super upbeat and funky. 

Hybrid is fun because that Alice likes to torment Jasper. He understands Edward on a molecular level once Alice arrives. 

Most Sexy Story: The Dark and the Unknown is the front-runner for that, because most of the sexy goings-on in Shadow to Light is very much focused on the psychological and emotional aspects rather than the physical.

Story with the single sexiest moment:  The Dark and the Unknown. I am still deeply uncomfortable writing sex scenes, so this may be the only one I ever do. The implication of a blow job in Shadow to Light nearly kill me tbh.

The forest behind the school is silent; just her breathing, and the slight wind. No birds or wildlife, none of the hum of the traffic or of the school.

They don’t undress more than necessary, her skirt slid to her hips, and he takes her roughly against a tree, flakes of bark falling into the dirt. She is hot and slick, and silent as he fucks her, his fingers digging into her hips, a growl rising in his chest. She is every bit his fantasy; the smell of damp flowers, the sweetness of her flesh, her willing supplication. His fingers tear through the lace of her tights as he grips her thighs, and the heels of her shoes must be bending, she’s digging them into the backs of his legs so hard.

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:  The Long Way Around makes Jasper and Alice’s relationship pretty fucked up, and tbh I look back at it and really struggle with how dark it is and how dark Jasper’s character becomes. There’s a reason that Shadow to Light is the ‘official’ version - it’s a better balance, and I actually think Maria is a lot more interesting in Shadow to Light as a villain with complex relationships with both Jasper and Alice to the point where none of them really want to have to kill each other, but there is a lot of hate on both sides. 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:  That’s a hard question. Shadow to Light definitely did that because I had to consider what happened when you took Alice out of the picture, and how that changed what happened, and considered the inter-family relationships. So much of canon relies on Alice’s visions that things can’t just happen the same way. 

Hardest story to write: Shadow to Light isn’t easy because I have such a specific idea of how it plays out, how it ‘looks’ in my head, and because Alice is so fundamentally different to canon. More innocent when it comes to normal interactions, and so controlled because it meant life or death - but she’s still got to be Alice in a way that people can recognize. It also has to sound right? If I can’t get the right turn of phrase for one scene, it has to be put aside until I can work it out. 

 All These Broken Things is hard because I started it back in, like, 2014ish and my writing and understanding of the characters and canon has changed so much - plus there are a few sections that came to me quite early in the writing, and now sound really out of place, but are such a strong linchpin for the story that I have to rework them in. It’s a good kind of hard, though, because I’ve improved so much, my ideas and goals are more refined. 

Most disappointing:  Omens is a little bitch, honestly. I started it for a fic contest and kept going to explore Alice’s human life, and it doesn’t quite feel like my writing? It needs reworking, and be a little less obvious because I think the ‘four horsemen of the apocalypse’ is a good theme for a Human!Alice fic. 

Easiest story to write: Depends on my mood; Hybrid is great when I’m in kind of a ‘girls kicking ass’ mood and boot up my action girls playlist.

Biggest surprise:  Hybrid started as a love story that was basically ‘yeah, let’s make this shit super dramatic and overwrought’, and turned into this actual story with a huge focus on family and relationships. I can’t remember why I decided Alice’s father had a husband except that I was thinking about small town ‘otherness’, and LGBT+ people can and are still considered ‘other’ in these spaces. 

Then you add in Alice and Cynthia who are basically in the same boat but have been separated for their entire lives. Alice has knowledge in her corner, whilst having to fight through foster care, abuse, and hospital; whilst Cynthia has lived a very normal but privileged life as the daughter of a mixed-race same-sex couple in a very small town. I went full-hog with this, and added in an extended family, because I really hated how canon went balls-to-the-wall to isolate Bella from everyone, including Charlie. 

Like, this thing is a monster, and whilst I plan to sit down and rewrite the outline (which dates back to 2016, and I hate the ending of), I stopped outlining at 65 freaking chapters. 

Most unintentionally telling story:  I think this question that still confuses me finally gets a decent answer in The Dark and the Unknown - Jasper is seeing most of it from his perspective, and there isn’t a ton of dialogue. I’ve tried to avoid an info-dump, but it’s meant to be quite supernatural in tone, and focusing on vampire senses and gifts enhances that. 

Story I’d like to revise:  All These Broken Things wins that one. Due to the age of the piece, there are some pacing and tone issues in later chapters that are the reason I haven’t formally posted it. 

Story I didn’t write but will at some point, I swear: Oh man, I really want to finish A Thousand Years of Solitude, which is a Tanya fic. I’m really happy with what I’ve got so far, but it sounds smarter and more layered than it really is, so I’m kind of stuck. 

Mad World because Romani!Alice is super sassy and taking 0% of Swan or Cullen bullshit - I think 90% of my fic is just me going, “yeah, that’s not how normal people react.” And I’m a sucker for gothic horror. 

What else? Aww, Against A Wall which is AU Human Jasper coming from the shittiest home, and Alice finding him. It’s meant to be short, and another one I have a really clear idea of how it needs to work. 

And the one where Alice’s gift is a sentient power that pushes her to follow it; that Bad Things happen if she doesn’t; that Renesmee was always Endgame for Something, and Alice was a key piece to get that result. Or the one where Aro takes Alice as a ‘guest’ for a period because of Edward and Bella, and Alice’s gift is basically broken. 

Good times. I have like 5 years of fic on this computer, we could be here for awhile. 

[sapphire-mage]

Halloween Recommendations: Intermediate Mode

The following recommendations are for Halloween or horror movies for the month of October. Movies listed here will have spoilers and general warnings. Movies listed under 'Intermediate' will involve horror movies that will be scary, but I will provide warnings. Due to the increase of difficulty, jump scare warnings will not be provided.

TAKE NOTE THAT THESE RECOMMENDATIONS ARE FOR ADULTS AND YOUNG ADULTS NOT FULLY COMFORTABLE WITH HORROR! THIS IS NOT MEANT FOR KIDS!

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Conjuring 2 (2016) movie:

If you managed to go through the ‘Easy’ list only to question why this is on the Intermediate, it’s because this movie is slightly harder for one reason: Valak. Valak is the infamous ‘Nun’ of this movie. I know someone who legitimately went from “Conjuring 1? This stuff is for babies!” to “Nope. I’m done watching horror movies! That nun thing freaked me out.” So I can tell you right now: If Valak the demonic nun is too far for you to handle just on general phobias and expectations alone, then I would steer clear of this one. That said, I adore this movie. It is my favorite in the series.

Okay, general plot: A family in London is suddenly being tormented by a demon that is following them wherever they go. When they call upon the help of the Warren family, evidence proves that this spirit may be connected to the hauntings and murders of Amityville (if you don't know the story of Amityville, let the movie explain it, cause the real ACTUAL thing is legitimately scary). The Warrens must find a way to stop this demon before it can harm not only the family but the Warrens themselves.

This is certainly scarier than Conjuring 1. Jump scares are a bit more frequent and heavier than 1. Take note that not only are we dealing with the nun, but also The Crooked Man.

Warnings:

-Child Endangerment

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Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) movie:

Ah, a classic! If you know nothing about this movie, I will explain briefly: The teenagers of Springwood are experiencing bizarre nightmares involving a man in a striped sweater with knife claws hunting them down. When the nightmares begin to lead to grizzly murders, the kids soon learn the horrific legacy of Freddy Krueger.

It should go without saying in a film involving a guy with finger blades, but expect a little bit of gore. I was almost tempted to put this in the ‘easy’ section, but the opening and closing murders are plenty scary. Also, the prospect of being murdered by your nightmares is fairly creepy and has gotten to plenty of people.

I can’t recommend any of the sequels, purely because I haven’t seen them all. I’ve seen Jason vs Freddy, which I can’t recommend unless you like both series (Kelly Rowland memes aside). And don’t watch the remake. I’m not someone who craps on remakes very much (hell, I might even recommend a few), but there is nothing of particular value outside of Quentin Smith (of Dead by Daylight fame).

Warnings:

-Child Endangerment

-Implications of child death

-Sexual predator

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Friday the 13th movie series:

I’m just going to kind of bundle the entire series here. I’m going to be real with you: This series deserves its legacy as being a horror legend, but acting like this series is quality horror is like acting original Lays potato chips is fine dining. Sure, it tastes good, but there are better options, especially for rookies. Although, I’d say the seventh movie in the series (Friday the 13th VII) is closer to ‘Wavy Lays’ or ‘Barbeque Lays’ chip quality, meaning it’s surprisingly good.

When young Jason Voorhees drowns in Crystal Lake due to the negligence of some camp counselors, a dark legacy is born within the campgrounds. Countless horrific murders befall the camp. Could it possibly be the lumbering corpse of Jason, brought back to life for revenge? Or is it someone else entirely? For those who don’t know: Not every Friday the 13th movie is Jason, but most of them are. The first one, in particular, is a different case.

These movies are basic and classic slasher flicks. A bunch of teens hang out like nothing is up, while Jason (or somebody else) goes around violently murdering a majority of them. Only real recommendations I can give:

-The first two movies give a standard explanation of who Jason is. To be fair, almost every Friday the 13th movie explains it, but still, if you’re dying to know. Just take note, I wouldn’t exactly call those two quality movies, and the lore ain’t that deep.

-Friday the 13th VII: A movie where the final girl is different because she’s a telepath! That’s right, Jason Voorhees goes to battle with a teenage girl who can move stuff with her mind. Not going to lie: It’s kind of awesome. And you don’t need any lore outside of basically what I’ve told you.

-Friday the 13th VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan: Absolutely hilarious and stupid. Granted, it’s still the same kind of movie, but Jason inadvertently ends up in Manhattan and just starts murdering people there. What makes it great is the bizarre sense of humor it has throughout, ranging from Jason confused as to why there is a billboard with a hockey mask (his infamous mask) on it... to Jason falcon punching a dude’s head off into an open dumpster.

Honestly, most of the movies are pretty mid in horror, but high in gore. There is also the remake that came out years ago, but I’d say that that one is a bit harder in terms of horror, as most of the ones I’ve mentioned are cheesy. I don’t find the remake ‘good’, but… it’s there and definitely not the worst remake.

Warnings:

-A LOOOOOOOT of sex, but then they get murdered five minutes later.

-Murders vary greatly

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Halloween 2 (1981) movie:

Following up the events of the original movie, Laurie Strode finds that Michael Myers is not yet done with her, and that her connection to him is a lot more real than she could ever believe. Michael returns to hunt his ultimate prey within the confines of Haddonfield Hospital.

This movie is definitely a step up from the low body count and gore of the previous film, but I still prefer the original. From this point on, Halloween becomes a bit more similar to most slasher flicks, but somehow, Michael just makes it entertaining. Halloween 2 manages to be about as creepy as the first. Hospitals are already pretty creepy, so having an entire slasher flick in one with an established horror legend just works. Only problem is that the gore is amped up, ranging from violent stabbings to somebody being completely drained of blood. But if by some chance, the events of Halloween 1 left you wanting a conclusion, this is just one direction you can go. JUST TAKE NOTE, THIS MOVIE IS NOT CANON TO THE EVENTS OF THE RECENT HALLOWEEN MOVIES OF 2019 AND 2021! If you want to go in THAT direction, you will have to enter ‘Hard’ difficulty.

If, by some chance, you’re interested in this series:

-Halloween 3 is an original story without Michael Myers. It has a bit of a cult following after it was considered the worst part of the series for the longest time. It’s certainly not my favorite horror flick, but feel free to look into it. I can assure you, it is not the worst ‘Halloween’ movie. This one didn’t have Coolio.

-Halloween 4 and 5 follows its own canon where Laurie had a daughter, died, and now the daughter is Michael’s new target. Honestly, these are pretty good, especially because Jamie (Laurie’s daughter) has a telepathic link to Michael, leading to some supernatural goodness. Just… don’t watch Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers. It ends Jamie’s story in a terrible way and is just… horrendous, no matter how much you like Paul Rudd.

-Halloween 20 Years Later, or H20, follows a story where Laurie didn’t have a daughter or died, but instead, Laurie has a son and is still alive 20 years after the events of Halloween. Of course, Michael is here to start shit and hunt both her and her son. This is followed up by Halloween Resurrection, which is just… HILARIOUSLY AWFUL!

-I will mention the Rob Zombie remakes and the new series in the ‘Hard’ difficulty. I recommend the new series more than the Rob Zombie series, but take note that I would rank all of them on a hard difficulty due to the sheer brutality some of them thrive in.

Warnings:

-Shockingly more violent than the first one

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Trick R Treat (2007) movie:

When this movie came out, I loved it, but I noticed that not many people liked it. Over time, this movie has become a cult classic, and that fascinates me to not end. Trick R Treat is a movie that deals with several storylines happening at the same time. I can’t really go into every story without spoiling some of the awesome surprises. All I can really say is that a bunch of messed up stuff happens on Halloween night in this one town.

This one doesn’t have very many jump scares. Most of the horror comes from the sheer gore and brutality of it all. This movie isn’t afraid to murder kids and quite a few die within the film, but it manages to be a really fun and crazy Halloween ride all the way. And Sam, the ghoulish child spirit of Halloween, is a fantastic mascot. And the Red Riding Hood storyline is one of my favorite story endings in most horror anthology stories.

Honestly, the main thing that’s scary about this one is the gore and the opening scene. Rest of it is just kind of a wild ride of blood and guts taking place during Halloween.

Warnings:

-Child endangerment

-Child death

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Doctor Sleep (2019) movie:

If by some chance you took my recommendation to watch the Shining or you’ve seen the Shining in general, this movie is the follow up.

Dan, the boy from the first movie, has grown up and managed a steady and safe connection with his abilities. However, his abilities suddenly lead him to find a group of similar powered adults who hunting down and murder children who have the same power. Dan must work with a little girl who may be the next target to find and stop these murderous bastards.

If I’m being perfectly honest, I would say this movie is less scary than the Shining… if it weren’t for ONE SCENE! As I mentioned, the villains of this movie hunt and murder children, and this movie has a scene where the villain group up and stab a little boy to death. It is horrifying. The boy begs for his life and sobs as they stab him over and over, feeding off his lifeforce/powers draining from his body.

The actor they got for the scene did such an amazing job that the actors playing the adults would stop during filming and ask if he was okay, the kid would be like, “Oh yeah, I’m fine! Keep going!” with a smile on his face, and it would freak everyone out. Honestly, it’s a funny behind the scenes story you can read about, and it might help take the horror of the scene into a lighter perspective.

If by some chance, the visual image of a young boy being violently murdered while begging for his life sounds too horrible for you, then by all means skip it. I do like this movie quite a bit, but if that scene is too much, it’s certainly not worth it.

Warnings:

-Child endangerment

-CHILD DEATH!

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Alien (1979) and Aliens (1986) movies:

Hilariously, both of these movies can pretty much be two different genres of horror, but they should be put together. Alien is a slow burn of a horror flick where the crew of a slow moving spacecraft start to realize that an alien lifeform is inside their ship, and the lifeform is evolving. Aliens is the immediate continuation where the survivor(s) of the first movie are forced to team up with a unit of soldiers in order to combat and execute whatever aliens remain. In other words: Alien (1979) is a suspense horror sci fi, while Aliens (1986) is an action horror sci fi.

Neither movie is particularly ‘gory’, but it does have some gruesome events that involve alien impregnation, which is super gross.

I’m not huge on alien theme horror. I usually don’t find them particularly scary. However, I recognize this movie as an invaluable factor in the horror genre, along with another alien horror flick that I will probably mention here. Also, I wouldn’t recommend any other films of this franchise other than these two, unless you are absolutely DYING for more. Even then, the quality drops from here on.

Warnings:

-Gross alien stuff

-Child endangerment in the second movie

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Predator (1987) and Predator 2 (1990):

Calling these two action flicks a ‘horror movie’ is a stretch, but the Predator species have been seen as horror icons for some time, the same way the Xenomorphs are. So… I’ll count it.

Where Alien dealt with a lifeform that would attack like a violent animal, the Predator lives by a code that lets it kill violently yet efficiently but with a slight moral code. This fact leads to a very interesting monster that picks and chooses its kills, but when it does kill, it goes for either the most efficient kill or the most violent kill. Makes for an awesome horror movie monster.

This first one is essentially an Arnold Schwarzenegger action movie with an entire team of soldiers going against one Predator, as they get picked off one by one. The second movie deals with a Predator attacking the streets of LA, leading to a lot of police and gang violence. In other words, they’re both essentially action flicks.

That said, I can’t understate that these movies are gory. There is a lot of decapitation, spine removal, stabbing, shooting, and a large variety of sci-fi original kills. Also, some people get skinned, so that’s fun! But I wouldn’t recommend these if I didn’t think the Predator is such a cool monster design. Again, this is unfortunately a series I can’t recommend beyond these two movies, but… I do find the first Alien vs Predator to be a guilty pleasure.

Warnings:

-Heavy gore

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Evil Dead (1981) and Evil Dead 2 (1987) movies:

Horror fans might be blinking at me over this ranking, since this series is known for comedy more than horror sometimes. But you guys forget: The first movie had a girl being raped by a tree, and the first possession scene is pretty scary. Don’t question me.

Evil Dead is the story of a bunch of teenagers who decide to hang out in a cabin in the middle of the woods, cause who wouldn’t, and find the book of the dead in the basement of the house, cause who wouldn’t. When they decide to read it, all hell ensues.

This series is pretty famous for being a bit of a horror comedy, but I’ll be real: The first movie plays the horror straight. It is gory. It has jumpscares. It has deaths. It is a horror movie, as silly as it might seem sometimes. A lot of people tend to forget how gory and creepy the first movie is because everyone always praises the second movie a lot more, which… valid. But still, it’s there, and it’s not a bad movie.

If by some chance the first movie seems too extreme for you, you can skip to the second movie, which gives a ten minute recap of the first. The second movie takes place about… five minutes after the first. Like, it literally picks up right after. It is still violent and creepy (especially with the claymation scene), but the horror leans into this… Looney Tunes wackiness where the main character goes balls off the wall insane and slapstick starts taking place. It is a fucking ride! If gore doesn’t bother you at all, then I super recommend it, just because.

Also, if you do see Evil Dead 2, go see Army of Darkness. It’s an immediate sequel, it isn’t scary, and it’s basically a comedy.

And for once, I can recommend the remake… but that would be ranked in ‘Hard’ cause the gore and scares from that one are an entire tier higher.

Warnings:

-Heavy gore

-A girl gets raped by a tree

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The Exorcist (1973) movie:

Personally, I find this movie easy. I watched it as a kid, and the only thing that scared me was the face of the devil. Rest of it is easy as pie. But my experience of people who are afraid of horror movies are sometimes people who come from religious backgrounds, and the Exorcist is the pinnacle of ‘demonic possession’ movies. I’ve heard people call this the ‘scariest movie ever’, but really, it was just scary for its time. I want to say that I’ve seen demonic possession movies that are scarier, but I can’t say I’ve seen that many that are this iconic.

Most of the horror of this movie is purely the ‘inhuman’ aspect of the possessed girl. She’ll move around strangely. She’ll vomit on the priests. She’ll speak in the voices of other people. As a kid who didn’t grow up in a religious background, this movie was kind of hilarious and awesome to me. “She just told the priest to suck her dick! Kids can’t say that!” But make no mistake: Horror movies scared the crap out of me. I was just able to handle this one.

At the end of the day, a classic demonic possession movie is a classic demonic possession movie. And if you do watch it and feel like trying to laugh it off after, maybe consider watching Repossessed (1990), which is a parody of the same movie. Or if you want something slightly scarier, maybe Exorcist III. I haven’t seen it, but it’s widely considered a cult classic along with the original.

Warnings:

-Child endangerment

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Child’s Play (1988) movie:

When a serial killer casts an ancient spell within a toy shop in hopes to cheat death, the attempt leads to him possessing the body of a popular toy known as Buddy. When the possessed doll gets adopted by a young boy, the boy comes to learn that he is not playing with Buddy, but instead… Chucky.

Personally, I’ve never been scared of Chucky, but I know creepy dolls scare the crap out of people, which is fair. Unlike Annabelle, Chucky ABSOLUTELY moves around and kills. This series, in general, has become so silly and absurd, that I can’t in good faith recommend the entire series unless you absolutely love this movie. Not that I don’t watch them myself, I totally do. I find Chucky to be hilarious.

Most of Chucky’s kills are pretty tame. I’d say the worst is an electrocution scene where a guy gets electrocuted toward the point of bleeding out of his eyes and mouth, but that’s it. Honestly, the gore isn’t that bad. Can’t say the same for the rest of the movies, where the gore amplifies, but if you wanted to just do the first movie of this series, it’s pretty safe.

Just… for the love of god, don’t watch the remake.

Warnings:

-Child Endangerment

-Creepy doll

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Creepshow (1982) and Creepshow 2 (1987) movies:

This is an anthology series, and personally, it’s one of the best. Each movie involves multiple stories told throughout. I would say that almost all of them are pretty manageable, but each one tackles a different kind of fear.

The first movie deals with:

-A corrupt and horrible father coming back from the grave to exact revenge

-A man becoming infected with a plant lifeform that begins to consume his body (imo the weakest of the two movies, I always fast forward out of boredom)

-A cheating couple being tormented by the man stuck in their love triangle

-A terrifying monster in a crate frightens a man who desperately wants to kill his wife

-A germaphobe man getting attacked relentless by roaches and insects

Second movie deals with:

-The statue of a Native American coming to life to exact revenge

-A flesh eating blob feeds on a group of people on a raft

-A woman driving home alone is sought out by a violent hitchhiker

I feel like listing the stories might tell you if you’re down for these. I know people who absolutely cannot handle the monster in the box or the flesh eating blob, which I can’t judge because I can’t handle the roach one. So if you ever want to fast forward those stories, that option is always there.

The gore is pretty rough at parts. Quite a bit of decapitation. The scenes where the blob feeds on the swimmers is pretty damn gruesome. Honestly, the only deaths that ever really stuck with me in these movies are the deaths of the old couple in the Native American statue story, and those deaths are framed as a tragedy (the statue doesn’t kill them, some assholes do).

Otherwise, there are some good scary stories with a wide range of horror. I’d recommend all of them, but approach with caution. And don’t be afraid to skip a story if you don’t think you can handle it. Like I said, I often skip the germaphobe one, cause that episode is GROSS.

Warnings:

-Gore

-Slight body horror

-Insect/bug/roach horror (my weakness)

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Haunting of Hill House (2018) Netflix series:

A family that once lived in a haunted house struggles through the trauma they experienced there. However, when one of the siblings dies shockingly, the hauntings return to torment each of them once again. A once broken family must reunite and return to the house that ruined their lives. Episode by episode, the mystery of what happened to Hill House is revealed to us.

I cannot recommend this show enough. As a horror fan. As a human being. As a drama fan. As someone who comes from a complicated family with a lot of siblings. This show is amazing. Now, I will admit that it is dialogue heavy, but that’s for a reason. The characters are struggling through their individual turmoils, and that gets HEAVY. The first few episodes will focus on each individual sibling, which is rocky at first since the two older siblings are kind of dicks (and they are the focus of the first two episodes), but they are absolutely necessary as they help establish what happened. While the first four episodes are quite good, episode 5 will blow your mind. And then you have to finish the show from there.

The horror is strong, but it mostly involves horror that you see coming or horror that is just emotionally overwhelming (in the sense of ‘oh my god, I can’t believe that happened, that’s so horrible’). I really wanted to put this on ‘Easy’, but I think one of the jumpscares and the overall emotional existentialism of this movie could be a lot for some.

Also worth noting: I can’t recommend Bly Manor, in good faith, unless you REALLY liked Hill House. Bly Manor is just not as good as Hill House, but it’s good if you want something more. If by some chance you watched both and were like, “Wow! I liked them, but for some reason, I just want to be MORE DEPRESSED!”, then you can go watch Midnight Mass.

Warnings:

-Child Endangerment

-Child Death

-Suicide

-Childhood Trauma

-Close Ups of Dead Bodies (not in a gory way, but in a ‘this corpse has hit rigor mortis and has white eyes, let’s get a nice close look just to creep you out’)

-Cat death