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kiss-me-muchoo · 2 months ago

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𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬 || 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

summary_ you find a thong on Joel’s backpack and you don’t know what to think, turning things awkward just before the holidays.

warnings_corny Christmas pick up lines, AGE GAP (20s/50s) but not specified, smidge of angst (reader’s fault) , fluff, chill mom!reader, pervy hubby! Joel, Christmas shit and a silly argument. NO PROOFREAD YET SORRY

notes_ fallacy family having their first Christmas together omg, it’s almost two years since I started the series and yet here we are, brb I’ll go cry.

• Fallacy series m.list (recommended to read)

♫ ♪ Pedro playlist

✰ Index (+ fics here)

⋆꙳•❅‧*₊⋆☃︎‧*❆₊⋆ ⋆꙳•❅‧*₊⋆☃︎‧*❆₊⋆ ⋆꙳•❅‧*₊⋆☃︎‧*❆₊⋆

Celebrating the holidays in the apocalypse was not easy. In fact, the world had forgotten about holidays. For twenty years, days like Christmas or New Year’s Eve had no longer meaning.

But not in Jackson. Right after thanksgiving, the town would start preparing for the lovely event. According to Maria, children received a little present and a big dinner was made. In the previous weeks, the town dressed up with ornaments, mistletoe everywhere and the smell of ginger and mint was all around. Almost like outside the world hadn’t change. But for you and your family, that came from a lot of suffering, you would not allow them to complain.

You had picked up your decoration’s box. One was given to each house of Jackson, to add more personal decorations. However, you picked up yours a little late, since it was your first Christmas in town.

You finished teaching early, giving you time to arrive home, meet your daughter and decorate the house with Ellie.

Cerise was about to turn three months old, she was growing, getting curly hair like her father, but she remained tiny, fussy and adamant. She kept doing the famous newborn scrunch and Joel often made fun of her farts, making you roll your eyes and criticize him for making fun of his daughter.

“Ellie, you’re home?” You asked taking off your boots and coat, placing your bag in the entrance. “Yup, Maria left like ten minutes ago”

Ellie appeared carrying Cerise, who was sleeping. The teenager handed you the baby and you smiled at her.

“Thanks. Hey, I got the decoration for the house, Wanna help me?” Ellie was not excited for Christmas but you could tell she loved being around you and Cerise.

“Sure”

“But-!” Then she rolled her eyes. “You must show me your costume for the charity”

“Oh f- you, y/n” you started laughing, trying to remain calm to not disturb Cerise “I look like shit in it!”

“Please!”

It was past midday when you were done making dinner. A warm soup made the whole to smell like winter and tranquility. Cerise had taken a bath, even Ellie was already in pajamas. It was then, while cleaning the kitchen, that you found Joel’s lunchbox in the little shelves you had beside the refrigerator.

“Silly man” you mumbled to yourself, grabbing the lunchbox.

In the living room, Ellie was reading a comic while Cerise was in her little baby gym.

“I’m dropping this to Joel. Mind if you stay here with Cerise?” The girls shrugs, eyes never leaving her comic. “Yeah, go on”

“Thanks, Ellie. I’ll be quick”

…

That day, Joel was working to build a new layer for the gates that protected Jackson. The team started the new layer before summer ended, even before Cerise was born. And now, near Christmas, it was almost done.

At the sight of your old man, you smiled. He went back to his short hair, just like when you met him in Boston. His belly was gone and his back pain diminished. Joel was in his best form, shape and condition.

“Hey, Texas!” You called him, making some of his buddies to look as well.

At the sight of you, the youngest started doing silly things to make your husband uncomfortable but truth is, Joel was only smiling at the sight of you. But soon turned worried.

“Whatcha doin’ here?” he asks, taking off his thick gloves, offering you a playful smile. “Are you alright? Cerise and Ellie?”

“We’re fine, dear. You just forgot your lunch…”

You brought him a sandwich and cranberry juice, it’s was cold and since your old man couldn’t get up early because he was so warm under the blankets with you, he missed his lunch.

“I thought- never mind. Thanks, baby”

Joel sighed, relieved. He grabbed the lunchbox and looked at you so lovingly, that it made you chuckle.

“What now, Texas?” You ask rolling your eyes, crossing your arms.

“God, I just want to get home, shower a you to give me a blowjob”

“A snowjob!” He glares at you with disdain and rolls his eyes before chuckling, catching the Christmas reference.

“Good lord, shut up” he had grown used to the age gap, but sometimes he remembered how full of life you were compared to him.“C’mere, baby”

He kissed you as usual because nobody was around. He would never hide his feelings for you again, but he remained reserved and preferred to be private when it came to you. Either way, everyone in Jackson knew he married you and had a baby together.

Cerise was a famous baby after all.

“There’s soup and flourless biscuits for dinner. I’m almost done with the Christmas decorations. I’m just saving the tree because I want to do it with you” Joel smiled, something you genuinely loved.

Ever since you gave birth, Joel had changed drastically, being open towards you and very understanding. Things had never felt so good.

“I’ll be at home before the sunset” you nod at him, standing on your tip toes, which he immediately understands and leans over to give you a big kiss. You felt relived and happy. Lucky you to stick along a grumpy unstable senior that turned out the most humble and loving husband.

“Don’t be late, Texas” he rolls his eyes to then kiss you again. “I won’t, baby”

As you walk away, you hear some chattering from Joel’s workmates, probably making fun of him for being a sweetheart towards you. And you don’t miss the female laughter calling him.

There is no reason to mistrust. Joel would never. The last time you both had a similar argument was when Freya, the town’s nurse, actively tried to make some moves on your already husband.

Either way, there are some days where you feel that too much positivity has a price. Like it’s not normal for you to be completely happy and in peace. Perhaps it’s the years of suffering and misery that remain haunting you. Making you believe that Joel would one day walk out, towards complete freedom like he once wanted.

…

Well, Joel was late indeed. You got mad and you started eating with Cerise and Ellie. You placed a plate with a big portion of food for Joel and then you sent your kids to sleep. As you were cleaning the dishes, you didn’t think too much about Joel being absent. Anything could happen at work, your take was that they had finished the new layer and decided to take longer than needed just to be done.

Whatever, you kept cleaning the dishes and didn’t hear your husband was entering the warm house.

“I’m sorry I missed the dinner. We finished the layer…”

Bingo.

“That’s okay, honey” you simply say without looking at him. “I thought of it…”

“Let me eat and then we can decorate the tree” Joel says, trying to make it up for his absence, standing behind you and softly caressing your shoulders.

“Just eat, Joel. You haven’t eaten anything after I dropped your lunch…” your hands finish cleaning the dishes, you dry up and finally face your man. “You sure? I’m up for the Christmas tree…”

“No, I’m tired. Let’s go get warm in the bed…” he nods, smiling at the sight of his wonderful wife. The same woman he met years ago, yet, so different.

“Hmm, then I’m up for a holly jolly

“Yeah? stuff my stocking with your big North Pole, Joel?” he bursted in laughter, trying to be quiet but miserably failed, making you start giggling as well. “Joel, shut up!”

“Well, baby… You’re bein’ a flirt” rolling your eyes, you had to go straight to hug him.

“Get my backpack, please…” you nod at him, approaching the entrance of the house, where Joel’s backpack was discharged in the floor.

You bend over to grab it and the soft sound of a box of band-aids falling makes you sigh.

“Close the fucking backpack, Joel” you try to be quiet while he distantly says sorry. And then you spot a sparkly red ribbon tangled in a zipper. When you pull it out, you realize it’s not a ribbon.

It’s a thong. And lurking from the inside, there an egg nog powder mix.

You have so many questions. You could’ve laughed. But you didn’t. Instead, your head starts questioning why he had a thong on his backpack.

“What the fuck, Joel?” You ask when he arrives at your side. “You have a whole festive fucking pack in your backpack?”

“Darlin’, Are you bein’ serious now?” He asks tiredly, which makes you sigh. “What? Do you think this is not for you and belongs to somebody else?”

“I don’t know!” You spit out frustrated, crossing your arms and realizing you had snapped. “I’m sorry, Joel. I just don’t know how to feel about it…”

You knew it was stupid getting mad over something so silly and immature. It could’ve been a joke from a mate, perhaps Joel actually got it for you. But why slip it like that?

That night you leave your husband all alone in the darkness of the living room wondering what he did wrong.

He stares at the empty Christmas tree and sighs, rubbing his eyes.

…

The next morning, it was Christmas Eve.

Joel got up only to find out kids had school. It was a short day and basically an excuse to gather all the kids and avoid interruptions for any final details to work on. Joel did not have any problem with having Cerise the whole morning. In fact, it made him slightly forgetful about the argument with you last night.

Ellie was gone, Joel heard her cursing as she was leaving, saying how shitty she looked with her elf costume.

Cerise and Joel had a good morning together. He made breakfast for her, then he bather her to avoid getting her later with lower temperatures. Then he paid Tommy a little visit to ask for advice and finally felt confident to face you and ask questions.

He felt hurt by your reaction and was eager to understand why you took things in such way.

He pushed the stroller carrying a sleepy Cerise through the streets of Jackson. Everyone seemed ready for the holidays, happy families everywhere. It made Joel to feel a bigger urge to run towards the little school. There was no point in having a silly fight during a special night.

So when he arrived with Cerise at the school, children were walking out, everyone holding a handcrafted ornament, others had snowflakes, others tried to do paper ginger-man cookies. It made Joel to think how would Cerise be in a couple of years while attending school.

When he entered the old building, he saw that there only were four classrooms. Only one was open. And as Joel pushed the stroller through the hall, he was able to see that the open door was decorated with little stars that had the name of some students. In the center, a baby pink paper that said “Mrs. Miller” and it made Joel’s heart to melt.

Everyone knew that kids loved you. The youngest always said hi or even hugged you, asking if they could see Cerise.

When he entered the room, it was empty, only you sitting in your desk. When you looked up to see, you quickly had to stand up upon seeing your husband and baby.

“Is Cerise okay?” You ask worriedly. “She’s fine, y/n. I just needed to pass by”

You nod, already understanding what he meant. You stare at his red sweater, the color resulting foreign on him, yet, welcoming.

“It was silly and-“ you try to start saying but Joel shushes you. “I’m the one talking darlin’…”

“Earlier in the morning, Tommy and I went to the mall” you only can tap your index finger against your desk, starting to feel completely embarrassed. “We passed by the store and thought it would be silly and fun to grab a pair of festive underwear along the eggnog. I also grabbed a pacifier for Cerise….”

“Now what the fuck? I completely overreacted” you admit avoiding his gaze.

“Do you really think I could possibly cheat on you?” he asks, sounding very hurt, which made your twist in remorse. “Don’t you think we’ve suffered enough to just fuck up everything for nothing?”

Your eyes water and you have to look down, ashamed.

“God, I’m so sorry, Joel. I know it was stupid…” He sighs, crossing his arms, also looking away, to the window of the little classroom. “I normally feel so confident about us and our life here. But occasionally my mind goes back to the beginning and it terrifies me that someday you’ll get tired of everything and just be free. But alone…”

Joel eyed you as you were speaking, and it broke him. Sometimes he forgets you also went through traumatic experiences along the way. You love him unconditionally, yes. But that doesn’t mean sometimes those traumas will not try to arise. And it’s okay to have doubts, the world was broken.

But Joel would give his life to never see you broken as well.

He pulled you closer, holding you tightly. His chin finding a home at the top of your head. And it made you feel safe. Like you weren’t insane for causing nonsensical arguments.

“I’m sorry” you repeat and he shushes you softly. “Having doubts is valid. But I can promise you, my darlin’… that I would do everything again if I had know since the beginning that my reward was you. And I will never get tired of it…”

“Intrusive thoughts aside, everything is perfect. I will let you know whenever I’m feeling odd and hopefully we’ll talk” he nodded, making you feel even more safe. “Of course, baby”

“And I love you, Joel. Like you have no idea” you hear him chuckling, then kissing your hair. “Oh, I think I do. I think we both know we’re down bad for each other”

“Even Cerise knows it. She stares back and forth between us whenever we start talking and she’s fully awake” at the comment, Joel chuckled, looking aside where he left the stroller, noticing there was movement inside.

“I think she’s already doing it” you say smiling.

Joel uncovered the stroller and indeed, Cerise was fully awake, her chocolate eyes scanning the place before landing on her parents. And upon looking at you and Joel, she started cooing.

“Aww, my baby, come here” it would never be not amusing for Joel to finally seeing you as a mother. As you peppered Cerise’s face with wet kisses all over, she seemed to be laughing. The moment the three of you started sharing were foreign, a little over a year ago, everything was so different. Joel was unable to admit that he loved you, you were extremely insecure, Ellie was a stranger. You had zero hopes of a family.

The odds were in your favor. Very much.

“I think she’s growing your nose” Joel said, softly pinching one of the baby’s cheeks. Cerise was in heavy, sandwiched between the warmth of her parents, in a red onesie that had a reindeer in the center and stars in her tiny foots.

“Well I think she’s growing your hair. Messy and curly…” Joel smirked and then kissed you.

“Let’s go home. I want to try that eggnog mix even if it kills us”

“I don’t think syrups and fake powder will kill us, y/n” he took your hand and lead the way out of the school.

…

It was very cold when you got out of the shower. The smell of turkey and butter was filtering through the small gap of your open window. At the dinning hall people were slowly gathering to share a meal and celebrate the night prior to Christmas. And as per usual, you were slightly late.

You had a brown dress that you carried since Boston’s QZ. You had never worn it and you had a second pair of boots reserved for special occasions, which were waiting for you at the foot of the bed along your coat and some thick black thighs. It wasn’t elegant, just classic. An outfit that even in the apocalypse seemed decent or fair.

“Cerise is ready…” Joel says entering the room. His smile grew at the sigh of you, which made you blush and shyly look away.

“No, don’t look away, darlin’. You look like a little doll” he hurried to give you a little spin and kiss your cheeks.

“Calm down, Texas” he steadies his hands around your hips, smiling again “Now, gimme that nasty thong before I change my mind”

“What?” Joel completely forgot about the thing. But soon he went to the basket of clean clothes and handed it to you.

The asshole had washed the thong.

Under the lamp of the room, you were able to appreciate the details of the thong. It was bright red, with some lace details in the crotch, shiny beaded sequins and a fine embroidery.

You slipped into the fabric, hunching the dress around your stomach. Joel let out a little gasp after finally seeing you with the lingerie.

“Merry fucking Christmas” you had to laugh loudly after seeing him almost poking out his tongue, then, you are pulling down the dress and sitting on the bed to put on the thighs.

“That’s lewd, Joel”

“Shut up. I’m getting what I deserve after dinner”

“Your first present to unwrap” you say rolling your eyes.

It is then when you look at Ellie passing by the door and after hearing you burst out laughing, she huffed, standing on the doorway.

“Can you please stop?” The girls asks, but it’s very funny to see her with the elf costume and silly hat.

“Why I was forced to do this?”

“Because you are a pain in the ass for Tommy and Maria” she rolls her eyes.

“Okay, it’s getting late. Let’s go, everyone” Joel leads the way downstairs, where he picks up Cerise from her baby gym and wraps her in blankets before getting her into the stroller.

When he approaches you to help you put on your coat, you can’t stop smiling at the sight of him.

And he notices it, offering back another smile.

Ellie walks out with Cerise in the stroller and turns back to ask who was the keys, but rolls her eyes after seeing you two lost in each other’s eyes.

“HEY!” Both of you snap out of the moment and turn to look at Ellie. “Yeah, yeah, we all know both of you are so in love. But who has the keys?”

“Joel” you reveal, chuckling at the girl’s words and moving away.

Joel locks the door and walks out to the street. He follows closely bu he prefers to savor the moment of you and Ellie making Cerise to babble and coo from inside the stroller. With all the Christmas decoration and the snow falling, Joel wants nothing but a camera to capture the moment. But his old ass would always remember that type of moments.

__________

#pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller #pedro pascal smut

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lozeyart · 5 days ago

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What am I doing in the year of our lord 2025 drawing Junjou Romantica fanart

Goodness me, I got into JJR back in 2008 when the anime aired and then I got into the manga that same year. At the time, I wasn't really drawing people, I was drawing animals, but I was OBSESSED with this yaoi with my whole heart and wanted so badly to draw fanart for it. So now here it is! 17 years in the making! Btw, trying to interpret anime hair logic with my style is easier said than done, but I did my best lol. All just colored sketches and then some scribbles for funsies.

But I definitely have some complicated feelings about this manga/anime. More below the cut (its A LOT, I'm so sorry).

JJR was one of the first yaois I ever got into, and back in 2008 when I didn't realize being gay was an option, this silly little manga/anime felt like an escape for me. Well, it's now 17 years later and upon rereading this manga (I still have volume 1-12, I could never get rid of them, they mean to much to me) I realize that it has aged POORLY.

This yaoi is definitely a product of its time (2002/2003) and it SHOWS. I find myself disappointed in the dynamic between Usagi-san and Misaki and wish that Misaki would show Usagi-san SOME sort of affection outside of the bare minimum (cooking and cleaning for Usagi) and Usagi definitely has some... Issues of his own. Now, I'm an adult, and I can see that consensual non-consent (CNC) can be fun and exciting for a couple (you know, if agreed upon beforehand), and it can be fun for your partner to initiate things out of the blue, but Usagi definitely toes the line of what that is. Now, I know that this was the early 2000s and yaoi relationships tended to have that dynamic (One being the seme who didn't listen to "no" and the uke who said "no" constantly but actually secretly liked what was happening), like I said, this series is definitely a product of its time. But I don't know man, its not fun (for me) reading sex scenes where one of them is constantly telling the other one to stop over and over again. (I also think it'd be cute as fuck if Usagi-san asked Misaki if he could kiss him and Misaki shyly said yes instead of yelling at him like he always does).

I even went online to read up to volume 27, but all I can express is that same disappointment. Misaki rarely even likes to acknowledge that he's in love with Usagi-san, or is dating the man, or even likes him (it seems to be only under duress that he admits these things STILL. IN 2022 when that volume was released!)

I wish there had been more character development in the years since I stopped reading the manga, I wish we could see Misaki and Usagi-san acting like they actually like each other outside of when they have sex (yes there are small moments between the two, and a bickering couple can be a fun dynamic, but dear lord lets shake things up A LITTLE. I'M BEGGING).

Lets not even get started on the sketchyness that is (at the start of the manga) a 28 year old falling in love with an 18 year old (And we're not even going to TALK about Miyagi and Shinobu) -don't bring up the age of consent in Japan, I do NOT wanna hear it-.

Listen, I'm 29, and I would NEVER even DREAM about dating an 18 year old (or 19 year old) at my age. (Fuck, the youngest I'll date is MAYBE 23 but even THATS pushing it for me).

All of that to say is that I still can't help but have an extreme soft spot for this series, and there are still moments that I love from this (Volume 9, the Christmas chapter, am I right? Gets me EVERY time), and fuck, Shungiku Nakamura is probably still making bank with this series so who the fuck am I to say anything lol. I'm just a rando online with an opinion, you don't have to agree, and you can think that whatever Misaki and Usagi have is fuckin' AWESOME. I'm just an old fart

But, I dunno, I think it'd be interesting to explore Misaki's internalized homophobia, and Misaki slowly but surely growing more and more comfortable with not only accepting Usagi-san's affections and even reciprocating and initiating on his own, but also accepting HIMSELF and being happy with who he is instead of the constant self shame he puts himself through for being with a man. Let's be so real, he is gay, he can't stop looking at other attractive men and FAWNING over how hot they are (Nowaki, Todo, Injuin Sensei, the list goes on).

But who am I to complain, I went and drew fanart of these two anyway. Rock, meet glass house.

Unrelated, I love the art style in volume 3-6 a lot because its very "late 90s early 2000s" art and I think the art peaked in volume 9. And now its unpeaking. Bring back Usagi-san's yaoi chin so help me god.

I do have yaoi I prefer over this one a lot more, and involve older couples (which I find that I prefer), and have fun, cute stories. If anyone has read this far and wants those recs, lemme know (dear god I'm so sorry, this has gone on so long.)

Anyway I do want to redraw some of the sex scenes and post it to my bluesky.

#art #fanart #junjo romantica #junjou romantica #misaki takahashi #usagi-san #akihiko usami #junjou romantica fanart #jjr #jjr fanart #Misaki #usagi san

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pretzel-box · 6 months ago

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I have a funny headcanon. Sebastian loves dad jokes. He's an old fart after all and he just looks like that. How about I request Seb with reader who knows a lot of dad jokes

Tags: Super bad jokes I googled, bear with me. Sebastian and Reader sharing a braincell and the same humour. Comedy.

Words: 1,4k

Authors Note: The Impasta got me.

Sebastian had never been one for humor. Down in the depths of the Blackside, there wasn’t much to laugh about. The darkness, the constant threats, and the never-ending struggle to survive were no joke. But there was one thing he had always secretly liked, something he’d never admit to anyone down here: dad jokes.

It had started as a way to pass the time, a way to distract himself from the cold emptiness of the halls. He had found an old book once, torn and waterlogged, filled with terrible puns and silly one-liners. At first, he had scoffed, but then… he started reading. And to his surprise, he found himself chuckling. The jokes were so bad, they were actually good. They were simple, lighthearted—a rare commodity in this place. They were a small slice of normalcy in a world that had long forgotten what “normal” even meant.

So, when you first wandered into his shop, dripping with sweat and shaking off the nerves of a close encounter with some unnamed horror, the last thing he expected was for you to make him laugh.

“Hey, I'm back!” You called out.

“Sup’ Back, I'm Sebastian.” You two laughed before he continued.

“Rough day?” he’d asked, eyeing you with a mixture of curiosity and wariness.

You had nodded, catching your breath. “Yeah, ran into some… thing in the hallway. Almost took my head off.”

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, they do that sometimes,” he replied dryly, leaning back against the wall. “Gotta watch your head.”

You nodded, but your eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief. “Yeah, I’ve been trying to keep it attached. Bad habit to lose your head, you know.”

He chuckled, despite himself. “You’ve got a point.”

You grinned, catching him off guard with your next line. “Hey, speaking of points… what do you call cheese that isn’t yours?”

Sebastian blinked. “What?”

“Nacho cheese,” you said with a deadpan expression.

For a moment, there was silence. Then, unexpectedly, Sebastian laughed—a short, sharp sound that echoed through the dimly lit shop. It was the first genuine laugh he’d had in… well, he couldn’t even remember how long. You joined in, your own laughter bright and contagious.

From that moment on, you were hooked on getting him to laugh again. Every time you came by the shop, you’d try a new joke, a new pun, a new one-liner, and every time, Sebastian found himself waiting for it, looking forward to it even. He’d pretend to be annoyed, rolling his eyes or shaking his head, but he couldn’t hide the smile that tugged at his lips.

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other?” you asked one day, leaning over with a grin.

Sebastian sighed, but his eyes were sparkling. “Why?”

“They don’t have the guts,” you said, your expression serious.

He snorted, covering his mouth with one of his hands to hide his grin. “You’re terrible,” he muttered, but there was no hiding the laughter in his voice.

You laughed too, clearly delighted with yourself. “Come on, you know you love it.”

He shook his head, but he couldn’t stop smiling. “Maybe a little,” he admitted.

You had a knack for it, a way of turning even the darkest situations into something a little brighter, a little more bearable. You made him laugh, even when he didn’t want to, even when he was tired or frustrated or feeling the weight of this place pressing down on him. Your humor was like a breath of fresh air, a light in the darkness.

One day, after a particularly close encounter with a wall dweller, you came back to the shop with a new joke ready. “Hey, Seb,” you called as you entered, breathless but grinning. “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?”

He glanced up from his spot, already smirking. “Why?”

“It was two-tired,” you said, your grin widening.

Sebastian shook his head, chuckling. “You really have a thing for these, don’t you?”

You shrugged, leaning against the wall beside him. “What can I say? Life’s too short to be serious all the time.”

He looked at you, his smile softening. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “I guess you’re right.”

There was a pause, a comfortable silence settling between you. And for a moment, just a moment, it was easy to forget where you were, easy to forget the dangers lurking just outside the door. In that moment, it was just the two of you, sharing a laugh and a smile in a darkened shop.

Sebastian didn’t say it out loud, but he was grateful for you—grateful for the way you made him laugh, for the way you brought a little light into his world. Maybe he wasn’t the only one with a soft spot for dad jokes after all.

Sebastian leaned back against the wall, his grin slowly fading into a competitive smirk. "Alright, since you're so keen on these dad jokes, how about a little competition?" he challenged, his fluorescent eyes glinting with mischief.

You raised an eyebrow, leaning in with a matching grin. "Oh, you think you can out-joke me, Seb? You're on," you replied confidently. "But just so you know, I've been preparing for this my whole life."

Sebastian chuckled, crossing his arms. "We'll see about that. First one to laugh loses. Deal?"

"Deal," you agreed, taking a deep breath to steel yourself. "You go first."

Sebastian thought for a moment, his face serious. "Alright," he said slowly, "Why don't oysters donate to charity?"

You tilted your head, trying to keep your expression neutral. "Why?"

"Because they're shellfish," Sebastian said with a perfectly straight face, though the corners of his mouth twitched slightly.

You fought the urge to smile, barely keeping it together. "Not bad," you conceded, "but I've got a better one. Why did the math book look sad?"

Sebastian’s lips twitched again. "Why?" he asked, trying to maintain his composure.

"Because it had too many problems," you said, your eyes twinkling.

Sebastian let out a small chuckle but quickly coughed to cover it up. "Alright, not bad, not bad," he admitted. "Your turn."

"Why did the scarecrow get promoted?" Sebastian asked, his tone deadpan, knowing this one was a classic but with potential to get you.

You smirked. "I don’t know, why?"

"Because he was outstanding in his field," he replied, his voice steady.

You bit your lip to keep from laughing. "That’s a good one, but I’ve got another. What do you call fake spaghetti?"

Sebastian tilted his head. "What?"

"An impasta," you said, and for a moment, you could see his resolve cracking.

He chuckled again, shaking his head. "That’s terrible," he groaned, though he couldn’t hide his smile. "Alright, my turn."

He leaned in a bit closer, his voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper. "Why did the coffee file a police report?"

You frowned, genuinely curious. "Why?"

"It got mugged," Sebastian said, a hint of laughter in his voice.

You snorted before you could stop yourself, and Sebastian’s grin widened. "Ha! Got you," he declared triumphantly.

You waved a hand, still trying not to laugh. "Alright, alright, you got me. But it’s not over yet!" You took a deep breath. "Okay, here’s one for you: Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?"

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Because then it would be a foot," you said, trying to keep a straight face.

Sebastian’s lips twitched, but he held it together. "Not bad," he admitted, "But I’ve got another one. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?"

You blinked. "What?"

"A carrot," he said, his face deadly serious.

You couldn’t help it—you burst out laughing, the image too ridiculous. Sebastian threw his hands up in victory. "Yes! I win again!"

You shook your head, still laughing. "Fine, fine, you win," you said, catching your breath. "But I’ll get you next time, Seb."

Sebastian grinned, his eyes warm. "Looking forward to it, Starfish," he replied. "But I’ve gotta admit, this is the most fun I’ve had in a while."

You smiled back, the warmth in his voice making your heart flutter a bit. "Me too," you said softly. "Me too."

And in that dimly lit shop, amidst the darkness and danger of the Blackside, you both found a small slice of joy, and you had to admit, this might become a regular thing. After all, there are many untold dad-jokes in the dark of the Hadal Blackside, waiting to be told.

#sebastian solace #sebastian solace x reader #sebastian solace x you #sebastian solace fanfic #roblox pressure #pressure

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lonely-hearts-assemble · 3 months ago

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐨꒷꒦꒷

Your two pretty boy besties ;) fem!fighter reader ; au; thoughts + fic-ish or whatever it is called; grammar errors(?); apologises for any mischaracterisation; I'm not the best at crack im sorrii 😔; happy ending for Seongji cuz YES 😤

Masterlist!

꒦﹋ٜ۪ꥇ໋۬ ꒷꒦﹋ٜ۪ꥇ໋۬ ꒷꒦﹋ٜ۪ꥇ໋۬꒷꒦﹋ٜ۪ꥇ໋۬ ꒷꒦﹋ٜ۪ꥇ໋۬ ꒷꒦﹋ٜ۪ꥇ໋۬ ꒷꒦

✒ You and your two pretty boy bestfriends who love you sooo much

✒ One's your partner in crime 🤜🤛 & another your ✨m o m✨ (tho he would never admit it lol)

✒You & jaegyeona were childhood pals. The troublemakers & the most feared duo of all time ;p

✒You were more on the quieter side while jae was the yapper. But you weren't to be taken lightly, cuz you were the mastermind of most of the troubles the two of you did

✒Quite like a sound body with a feral mind

✒ Then came a chance encounter with the monster of the mountain & boom! You three were inseparable

✒Ok lemme rephrase, you two stuck to him like glue and harrassed him (affectionately) until he accepted you lol

✒The mountains became your & jae's secret hideout :D

✒It took some time but he started clicking well- I mean, started becoming more tolerant of you two hehe

✒Seongji thinks, no- he knows he's been aging rapidly ever since he met you two

✒His palm is almost always on his face

" Why'd you do that? "

" Do what? "

" Y'know what " Seongji's eyes narrow

" We've done many things, you gotta be specific " nonchalance drips in Jaegyeona's voice

" .... "

" Wellllll if you're talkin' about why that old dirtbag was rushed to the hospital" you start while playing with a stray lock of your hair

"was probably cuz he ingested some real spice "

" ...... What the- "

" But. " Jae interrupts him, " it wasn't intentional, we were simply playing around " he tried to sound innocent, which hardly suited him

" It was just a silly little accident"

" Yeah...... right. " Seongji barely stops a sigh escaping him

"Who knew that old fart had low tolerance " you shrug with a shit-eating smirk

Nonetheless, seeing you he couldn't stop his pretty little lips curving a little. Maybe, the shaman writhing in pain ain't that bad

You & your silly sheningangs really...

[✿]

It wasn't uncommon to find yourself in the Kings little meetings.

Unbeknownst to you, you are actually well reputed because of the cunning devil you are

(Having connections from foreign to native, authority and what not )

A subject of interest indeed.

" Why didn't you take Busan for yourself? " Geongseop(?) once rolled off the question during the meeting.

" You had the prowess " he had this serious look as creepy as his smiling face

The others weren't so slick (or maybe they didn't want to) at hiding their curiosity either as they burned holes on your poor face

" Simply put , didn't wanna " you shrug, hands folded and legs crossed.

[✿]

Maybe it was 'cuz you were stereotyping but when he adopted the cheoling fam, you were surprised cuz' he came off as an anti-social

You weren't so close with the cheoling fam, but would occasionally stop by, which turned out to be the best.

Teasing Seon might as well have been your part-time gig

" I was convinced you were a social recluse." You popped by his side as the kids were preparing for kimchi

" How and when'd you adopt these pups?!" You raise your brow with a crooked smile. "You didn't mix anything in their food, right? "

Placing the hot broth pot down, he gives you funny look with brows furrowed.

" Chances are never zero, y'know " Jae popped on his other side, wearing the same the same grin as yours

Ugh " If you two are so free, wash the dishes "

" Nooooo " come two voices in unison making Seon's hand clench, tempted to smack you two on the head

[✿]

You've been more careful ever since you learned of his little panic attacks

You'd try your best to be by his side. When'er he closed himself off, you'd wait for hours outside just in case.

Jae would insist to leave it be, but you were one stubborn mule leaving him no choice but to accompany you sometimes.

" Should we prepare Ramyeon while we wait" asks Jae, playing with your locks as you two sit side by side

" We ate ramyeon yesterday too. " You reply side-eyeing

" and the day before yesterday, and before that too. Seriously aren't you bored " you give him a funny look

He only pouts in response, muttering something under his breath

When it was over, you'd offer this soon-to-be-diabetic his tanghlulu and just... exist there with him whilst admiring the ground for few minutes.

[✿]

Ever since the burial of that old geezer, you & Jae convinced Seon to come to the city.

The day before you three decided to leave, was the day Seon found himself with Sujin.

You were plenty grateful to spot him by the shore before it was too late.

" What are you doing? " You grab his wrist as tight as you could, breathing still heavy from running

He's quiet.

" Let's go already. You've got a lot to pack" you yank him and he staggers a little

" Come on " you yank again and this time instead of moving, he lands on his knees.

He was shaking. " I can't" comes out a small voice.

" Why not? "

" 'cause" comes another small voice, barely above a whisper " I'm a monster "

" My foot. " You spit. " Either you voluntarily come with me like a good boy or I drag you all the way. Choose. "

" I can't " he mutters

You squat in front, hand still holding tight onto his wrist. " You will. Wanna bet. "

" ..... "

You crack you neck " very well. Let's see who wins "

An image of unconscious Jae being single-handedly dragged by you to his cottage flashes acrosses Seon's mind when you finally loosen your hold on him.

He flinches with eyes as wide as saucers when he feels a pair hands grabbing hold of his thighs.

He didn't even realise he wasn't breathing when you hoist him up, making him helplessly fall on your small figure as you bounce him a little.

" W-what in t- " he forgets how to speak for a moment.

" Shh. We've got a lot to pack and now it's late all thanks to you. " You huff.

After a few minutes of being dumbfounded, Seon's body was shaking again but for a completely different. " Pfft- " the hand covering his mouth is hardly doing anything to stop him.

He slowly leans on you while letting out a small chuckle.

His heart was a little lighter, albeit he still wasn't ready to face whatever was before.

▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌

Tbc (?), cuz it streched more than I thought

[ Would you want a Part 2 of Seongji adapting to city ?]

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thegrimreaper-probably · 15 days ago

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Headcanon

Gravity Falls x Stanley’s daughter reader

Stan - 100% not planned, probably happened the next town over from Gravity Falls, no clue you existed till your mom handed you over at two and walked off.

He definitely debated on keeping you, was going to give you up but you just reminded him of himself and just how everyone abandoned him and he can’t do that to you.

He has no clue how to be a father. Promises he won’t be his old man. He tries to remember what his mom did for Shermie. He doesn’t buy kid stuff right away, I’d say it’s a week of you wearing baggie t-shirts and him realizing he needs clothes.

If you have traits that are like Ford’s he pretends to be fine but cries about it later on. If you have six fingers like Ford he pretends to not acknowledge it. If one day you get bullied for it or are insecure he gives a poor prep speech, if it doesn’t work he very poorly talks about how “he” had the same issue (really just talking about Ford).

You definitely help him scam people, babies are just too cute and people get distracted. If he gets caught stealing he pulls a, oh I didn’t see the kid grab it, my bad. He dresses you up to be attractions like how Dipper was “The preteen wolf boy.”

I feel like you’d be like Bart Simpson, just better. Stan definitely is more paranoid with you, definitely tells you not to go in the woods, or whatever else. Do you listen? No, because you got double dog dared to go into the woods, and you’re not a nerdy wimp. Then Stan repeats something or does something his father would do. Instantly regrets it but doesn’t know how to apologize. Probably buys you something or gets you something you like, his way of saying sorry.

Soos - he’s like your brother.

You two do stupid shit together all the time. You and him read comic together but you told him you’d beat him up if he told anyone.

For his birthday you typically get him something crappy but when you find out about his dad you get him the best gift ever. You’re not very emotional because, hello? Your dad sucks at it so do you. But you might mention how your mom sucks to and he doesn’t need his dad, he can use yours. Or something less emotional but still awkward and sweet.

You do bully him but in an older sibling way. You love his grandma and she has now adopted you as her own grandkid.

Mabel- you and her do arts and crafts together.

I would think the relationship is more similar to Pacifica and Mabel. You don’t bully Mabel for her silliness you couldn’t care less, I’d say you’re softer to Mabel like you are to Soos.

You actually don’t mind bringing her places because you’re still very childish. You do not like how girly she is. You make fun of that, and that’s really ever it.

If she makes you something you won’t openly be happy but later on Stan would catch you smiling at it.

When she realize she doesn’t want to grow up, Dipper would reference how you don’t do anything the typical adult does, or how immature you are. It doesn’t really work but if you are there you punch him.

Dipper - you two hate each other. If you have six fingers he originally thought you wrote the journal but then you did something stupid and he crossed you off the list.

You also bully him, and you refuse to call him his real name. Nerd, dork, fart face, sweaty, other lame names.

He doesn’t want to include you in the mystery of Gravity Falls, but Soos isn’t the brightest, Wendy is a no, Stan denies things, so that leaves you. That or you stole the book and made fun of it, he proves it true because his ego can’t let that go.

You do at least help him with Robbie. Is it because you hate Robbie and just wanna make his life shit? Or because you do care about Dipper and only you can make fun of Dipper? Only Stan knows and like hell he’s gonna blab.

If you get the book that tells you how to summon Bill, you do it. Which leads to-

Bill- Your Uncle’s ex.

Either you’re too much like your dad and know no one does anything for free.

“Hey there Slingshot! Want a new skateboard?” Bill says dressed as a very bad attempt of Tony Hawk.

“Why are you being nice to me?” You say holding your now broken skateboard.

“Okay, fine, I’m a talking triangle. I’m the symbol on the back of money! You’d like money right?” Bill now turns into himself.

“Yeah?”

“All you gotta do is shake my hand-.”

“Why’d you lie to me before?”

Or somehow you have the book, Bill’s trying to get it but so is Dipper. So either you can throw it to Dipper or Bill.

“Come on Slingshot, hand me the book.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“Y/n No!” Dipper yells at you.

��I’ll give you all the money in my pocket.”

“That depends how much money are we talking about?”

“62 cents.”

“I’ll take the money.”

“Y/n?!” Dipper panics, and Mabel then sprays Bill in the eye with hair spray. (I picked slingshot as your symbol because when I think of Bart I think of slingshot and skateboarding. Feel free to change it)

Ford- you two don’t get along.

When Ford gets out of the portals and jumps Stan you join in. You punch Ford in the face, once the fight is over you stand in front of your dad to block him.

If you have six fingers he notices it and he smiles a bit. He slightly panics and thinks you’re his, which was stupid, man hasn’t touched a woman.

(Next parts kinda sad, if you wanna skip it)

After that you don’t try to connect and neither does he. When he says that you guys will have to leave after the summer, you start scamming people more. You start to sell your stuff to make some cash. You don’t tell Stan but once he realizes what you’re doing he stops you. Well, not from scamming, just from selling your stuff. He probably cons them back or something. Says not to worry.

Once Dipper gets past Ford’s walls, you still hate Ford. You make it known, you refuse to call him your uncle and just call him names. Dipper tells Ford you’re just like that. Mabel tells him it’s because he did something to upset you. Once Stan and Ford start to get better, you do the same.

Ford sees you as Stan before everything happened. He isn’t sure how to connect with you but he knows that little Stan would’ve loved to hear the journey he’s been on. So he starts with that, just short tales. Once he sees you have a slingshot or a skateboard he tries to invent something more advanced for you, or at least makes blue prints.

You’re into art so he shows you some of his art and you do the same. You have redrawn some of his art that’s in the journals.

But the moment things go wrong you go back to being on Stan’s side, everything that you two have done is basically gone to you. So after everything that happens you don’t forgive him.

When Stan forgets everything you cry, and it was the first time the twins, Ford, and even Soos, have seen you cry. Stan hugs you but it’s not the same, it’s not a father’s hug it’s a pity hug. You cry harder, you apologize to Stan, about everything and anything, you didn’t do anything to cause this, you know that.

Soos actually holds you afterwards, he’s crying too. You shut the twins and Ford out. You get it wasn’t their fault but you blame them anyways. The what ifs just keep playing in your head. When they try to jog Stan memory, you pull out a box. It’s full of photos, drawings, your first skateboard, baby stuff, the works. You’re crying and stuttering as you explain it to him.

Everything works out at the end. You bring Ford to Bill’s statue and vandalize it. You and Stan catch up on tv together. You give Mabel a drawling you made, it’s of her, Waddles, and you. She adds it to her scrapbook, you also give her a slingshot. You give Dipper a silly picture of you and Soos, with a note on the back you wrote. Soos and you run the mystery shack together.

(Sorry I like basically erased Wendy, I just couldn’t think of anything)

#gravity falls #gravity falls x reader #ford pines x reader #platonic #stan pines x reader #daughter reader #dipper and mabel #soos ramirez #headcanon #dipper pines #mabel pines #dad stan pines #lalalala

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hel1nn · 4 months ago

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And suddenly everything changed ೀ⋆｡

Ch.3 ⋆｡˚୨ oh getting married ୧˚｡ previous:3

𐔌 . ⋮ satoru gojo x fem zenin!reader .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ : Listen to kingston while reading ⭑.ᐟ

౨ৎ Summery : spending your whole life with feeling of being useless and a waste of space,even worse that your two sisters had cursed energy but you didn't, made you wanted to kill yourself so many times but it stopped when a marriage proposal was sented to gojo clan about marrying you or one of your two sisters. Your sisters were so powerful and beauty with brain so why did satoru gojo choosed you? Series masterlist. Moodboard

A/N : yes i changed the wedding date. Sorry if i made any mistakes:)

Days were flowing and the date 30th December was nearing. But your days were still boring but now theres a little change. You wake up,use the bathroom,eat your breakfast if you want,continue your day like you always do. And at night you think about him. This little change in your daily life made you a little anxious but the thoughts about him always ends up making your cheeks look like a tomato. You didn't tell anyone about your new phone. That one satoru gifted you. It had his number saved in it. His contact named as "sweetoru". (He named it) You didn't really minded..you let it be left as it is. Satoru would call you. Text you. Always making you smile over his silly little texts. Sometimes he would sent you some flirty texts. Most of the time you don't really understand what he's saying but when you do you smile like an idiot. Just like he dose whenever you text him. You met him almost one month ago yet it feels like hes someone really close to you. So much close, so close it feels like he will steal your heart away-

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

It didn't took too long for your and satorus marriage to come. You were sitting in front of vanity. Maids who were like witches to you now acting like the sweetest ladies. Dolling you up for satoru. You were nervous but still you tried your best to keep your pieces together. the eyes. Those eyes of peoples you hated so much will stare at you again. Will break the little bit of confidence you had. You were scared that what if you were going to mess up the wedding. Huh. At least you'll escape this hell of an shit. You didn't at least wanted to get satoru disappointed. You were already insecure and it was enough. You didn't wanted to be more insecure.

You sticked to satoru almost half of the wedding. And you were still sticking up to him. And he loved it. watching you feel comfortable in his presence. Whenever any old farts or any snake in the name of relatives of yours or satorus came to talk with you he dealed with it after seeing you feel uncomfortable. Their eyes judged you as if your a broken piece of an useless glass standing beside a diamond like satoru. Just like now. A girl who was was with satoru in the 4th year of Jujutsu high but then shifted to kyoto. Satoru didn't knew who invited her in the wedding but she was the daughter of an wealthy higher ups member. Her name was momo ishida. When she approached both of you, you felt satoru tensing up a little bit. You didn't thought about it so much and flashed her a smile. "hi" you mumble softly. But satoru didn't smile,his expression boared a little bit. "May i know what do you want from us" satoru said. The girl looked at him with a little pout then her gaze shifted to yours. Her lips turning into a mischievous grin,her gaze piercing through you. "Is this your little wife? Satoru." Satorus eyebrow twitched slightly at her calling him satoru. "Hey now don't be like that. She's a sweetheart if you get to know her properly." Satoru gives her a tight lipped smile,you could tell it was probably a fake on. You sighed and slightly stood more closer to him. What could you do anyway.

"i thought your wife would be a beauty"

Your eyes shot up,you looked at her with a frown

"wha-"

"sorry i didn't meant it like that,its just.. your too simple." She said before looking at satoru whos jaw was clenched. Trying not to glare at her "you can go and mind your business now. We have no problem with it, if you don't know." Satoru said and the girl pouted slightly again before walking away. You stood there like a lost puppy. Not knowing what to say. Satoru sighed and looked at you with a soft smile "we can left if you want you know...only if you're uncomfortable' you perked up. Smiling slightly. You nodded "yeah..we should left. Theyre still wasting their time." Satoru chuckled before his hand grabbed your smaller ones. both of your wedding rings shining brightly on the ring fingers. He gently leads you out of the crowdy place. "I'll call ijichi to pick us up. The higher ups already booked a hotel for us tonight.." satoru said to you,taking out his phone. Already out of the whole place. You just stood there..you were going to spend you night..with him today and..you were freaking out inside, already sweating.

"we're... going to share a bed.. right" you mumble.. trying to act like your not dying inside yet satoru only chuckles softly, looking at you with a teasing expression "don't worry i won't bite you,i can sleep on the couch or the floor"

You slightly get relieved but...your just newly married husband was going to sleep on couch..you didn't knew what to say actually. Little did you know higher ups told satoru try to get you pregnant. But satoru wasn't a guy who was going to do anything without anyone's permission. Especially you,his newly married wifey. And if he was being honest this is too early for both of you to further your relationship physically. The ride to hotel was kinda awkward,the silence felt like a wall between you two. When both of you arrived at the hotel satoru came out of the car first,then holding the car door open for you. The heavy dress on you felt like a burden now. Giving him a small smile as you get out of the car.

"you don't have to worry about your clothes,the things i got you back then are all in the hotel room"

Satoru play fully whispered in your ear. You you laughed slightly before entering the building with him

You sat on the bed,your clothes changed into an t shirt and sweats. Finally resting but stressed at the same time. How could you let satoru sleep on the couch on your wedding night. You cursed yourself for agreeing to him sleeping on the couch- sorry this is an arm chair here:D you sighed and your head snapped to the side as satoru enters the room,giving you a smile.. you smiled back at him nervously. Satoru already started to get prepared to sleep on the arm chair but then you spoke.

"goj- satoru. You don't have to sleep on the couch. Just sleep on the bed i won't even try to look at you" you mumbled

"but aren't you uncomfortable? I don't wanna get you upset tonight noww" satoru chuckled

"just do what i say-"

"but if your uncomfort-"

"satoru just sleep on the other side of the bed,i am not uncomfortable as long as you don't touch me" you frimly stated.

After arguing for few minutes satoru finally agreed. Finally settling down beside you on bed. You could finally sleep in peace. Both of you getting lost in your dreams. Little did the two of you knew how you were using his warm body as a body pillow. Relaxed. The room filled with the soft breathing of you and satoru

This is kinda obviously rushed.

Taglist : @chilichopsticks @milolop @kuroosvow @bypanana @hoseokslefteyebrow @sorcerersseestars @ssetsuka @megumisthirdog @certainduckanchor @myahfig4 @officialholyagua and idk why i can't tag @deliciouslydeliciouspenguin :(

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corroded-hellfire · 2 years ago

Note

OMG Wait for thé As You Wish baby Eliza idea fics I was thinking about something like this: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRTyDcC5/

All of the Munson family is on the floor lined up and cooing at baby Eliza to crawl/walk towards one of them to see who she favors more.

Eliza Munson is now an obsession of mine. I love her almost as much as Eddie does. @munson-blurbs and I had so much fun (as we always do together) writing this and having the little Munson family get weird and have fun 🩷

Words: 1.2k

[As You Wish masterlist]

“Come on, Eliza,” Luke says with a sigh. He pulls out the chair next to her highchair and plops down in it. “Why won’t she just eat it?”

“Would you want to eat strained peas?” Ryan asks, brandishing the label on the baby food jar at his little brother. “It probably tastes worse than normal peas.”

Luke hops up and dips his pinky into the jar. He sticks it in his mouth and immediately pulls it right back out. His face scrunches up in repulsion and he makes a gagging sound. “Yep. Definitely worse.”

“Don’t make that face in front of her!” Ryan chides. “She’ll never want to eat it!”

But the little giggles from the highchair have both boys turning to look at their sister. Her big eyes are focused on Luke as he makes his face of disgust.

“You think that’s funny, huh?” Luke says, leaning in towards the nine-month-old. “You like when I make silly faces?” He puckers his lips together like a fish, which has Eliza giggling even harder. “You love me so much, don’t you?” Luke swore he’d never cave in and use the baby-talk voice that everyone else uses with his sister, but that didn’t last very long. Now he uses it almost every time he talks to her.

“All right, Eliza,” Ryan says, bringing a small spoonful of the unappetizing green baby food up towards her lips. “You gonna have some food now? Have some yummy lunch?”

“Don’t lie to her,” Luke says, making Ryan roll his eyes.

“Don’t listen to him,” Ryan tells the baby. “Gonna open up? Yeah, there you go.” Eliza holds her tiny mouth open long enough for Ryan to feed her the peas. Eliza makes a face at the unpleasant taste on her tongue and smacks her lips together a few times, but she doesn’t spit it out.

“Yes!” Ryan cheers. “I did it! I got her to eat her vegetables.”

“Well, yeah,” Luke says with a scoff. “Because I made her laugh.”

“She laughs at anything. The other day, I unzipped my coat and she laughed so hard that she farted,” Ryan retorts, bringing another small spoonful of peas to his sister’s lips.

Luke pouts, sticking his tongue out at Ryan. “You’re just jealous because I’m obviously her favorite.”

“Ha! In your dreams.”

“Wanna bet?”

That’s how you and Eddie find your three children sprawled out on the family room floor. Luke and Ryan are on one side, and Eliza’s on the other.

“C’mon! Come over here!” Ryan calls out, motioning the baby towards him. “You can do it, Eliza!”

“Do I even wanna know what you two are up to?” Eddie asks, smirking at the boys.

“Trying to see which one of us is her favorite,” Luke casually replies, as though this is a normal occurrence.

“Ah, well, at least you’re not training her for some sort of horse racing thing with babies,” Eddie laughs, scratching at the stubble on his chin. “Anyway, don’t worry about who her favorite is.”

“She loves us equally,” you remind them with a patient smile.

But Eddie rolls his eyes playfully. “Uh, no. I was gonna say that they don’t need to worry about it because I’m clearly the favorite.”

“Ha!” you bark out. “Remember whose body housed her for nine months and produced food for her. I literally gave her life. Therefore, I should be the favorite.”

“You should be,” Eddie says, a glimmer of mischief dancing in his eyes, “however, you’ve neglected to account for the fact that she’s a total daddy’s girl.”

Ryan’s next to speak up. “Well, I’m the one who named her. If you left it up to Luke, we’d be calling her Squidward.”

“Only if she was a boy!” Luke protests. “Besides, I make her laugh the most. She knows I’m funny, so I’m her favorite.”

Eddie turns to you. “I think there’s only one way to settle this,” he says with a shrug.

“I think so,” you agree. Turning towards the boys, you motion for them to scoot down so that you can get down on the floor next to them. Eddie scoops up Eliza from where she’d wandered over towards the toy box in the corner of the room. He straightens the tiny black Metallica shirt she’s wearing and sits her down in the middle of the room.

“Here we go,” he says, pressing a kiss to her head before coming over to get on the ground next to you. “Okay, on the count of three, everyone start calling for her. Ready? One, two, three.”

“Come on, baby!” you call, making grabby hands for your daughter.

“Eliza! C’mere to Daddy, baby girl!”

“Hey, hey, Eliza!” Luke coos. “Over here!”

“You know you love your big brother Ryan! Come here!”

Eliza stays seated in her spot, her eyes roaming over her four family members, wondering what in the hell they are doing. She’s seen some weird things in her nine months, but never this.

“Luke, stop making funny faces. You’re distracting her!” Ryan says.

“I’m trying to get her to come over here!” he responds.

The baby finally pushes herself into a crawling position and starts to move. The four older family members practically hold their breath as they wait to see in what direction she’s headed. Eliza veers to the right, headed towards Eddie. Her father lets out an evil, triumphant laugh and grins as she gets closer.

“That’s right, baby. Show them Daddy is your favorite.” But then her movements pause, and Eliza begins to head towards her mother.

“Yes!” you say, encouragingly. “That’s my sweet girl!” You shoot a smirk over your shoulder at Eddie. “You were saying?”

Eliza starts crawling towards you, but Ryan starts drumming his hands against the carpet and that catches her attention. Her course once again changes, and she heads towards her brothers.

“No!” you say. “Don’t betray me! My only daughter!”

“Uh, mine too, ya know,” Eddie says from the other side of you. “Eliza, remember who always sings you to sleep.” He launches into the chorus of “Enter Sandman,” headbanging while the little girl giggles.

Your heart sinks as Eliza starts towards him, but she immediately stops crawling when she hears the knock at the door and sits back on her diaper-padded bottom.

“That must be Wayne,” Eddie says. He’d invited him over for dinner, and the older man never turns down an opportunity to see his grandkids. “Come in!” he calls out, not moving from his spot on the floor.

The doorknob twists as Wayne enters, heavy-footed in steel-toed boots. His gaze is drawn immediately to the five of you on the floor.

“What on God’s green Earth did I walk into?”

Luke’s the only one not remotely embarrassed. “Trying to see who Eliza loves the most,” he casually explains.

Before Wayne can formulate a response, the baby does an about-face and crawls directly to him. She sits at his feet, making grabby hands and whining so he’ll pick her up.

“Huh,” Wayne says with a grin. “Wouldja look at that. Seems like Miss Eliza chose me!”

The rest of you groan and grumble, erupting into a chorus of not fairs.

“Does this mean that Grampa Wayne is her favorite?” Luke asks, unable to hide his envy.

Wayne laughs, tickling his granddaughter’s feet. “C’mon, you didn’t need a competition to know that!”

Eliza claps her hands together clumsily in agreement.

“The princess has spoken,” Eddie begrudgingly agrees. A glint of mischief flickers across his deep brown eyes as he looks at his uncle. “Unfortunately, the prize is changing her diaper. And, uh, she’s really been into prunes lately, so…” he claps a hand on Wayne’s back. “Congrats!”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #older!eddie #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #AYW #AYWS #request #AYW tok

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biscuitsngravie · 1 year ago

Text

gangsta fairytale (shanks x reader)

cw/tw: mafia/gang setting, age gap (shanks 39, reader 22), fem reader, kidnapping (brief), not exactly a sugar daddy but he we love extravagant flauntings of wealth & financial security, smut lol, piv sex, size kink (he’s 6’6 like cmon LMAO), exhibitionism, we cum inside cause its fun inside, breeding kink, dacryphillia, nickname for reader is “buttercup, and pretty girl” unprotected sex, slightly public sex? Smol mention, belly bulge

part 2 -- part 3

At a club on a thursday night cause you wanted to go, but your friends aren’t free till the weekend and you couldn’t wait. But of course that means it’s mostly a sausage party even tho girls get in free before ten cause it’s still a thursday. And every sausage in the party wants your attention

You’re at the bar nursing a drink wondering why you even came and start debating to leave when a very not sleezy looking guy comes up to you and asks “you wanna know my favorite number?” right before leaning way too close to whisper in your ear “69” before you can even turn to scowl at him

Shanks who grabs the hand that’s about to grab your waist (unbeknownst to you) and leans down to ask the guy “you wanna know my favorite number?” his voice is so heavy you can feel the vibration in your own chest despite the blaring music. You turn around to see an absolute tree of a man and you don’t know if your fight or flight or fuck is kicking in

The guy scurries off cause like….its fucking shanks

Instead of being a bigger fish to outsleeze the guy he asks if you’re alright. You just kinda nod and give a half-assed “yeah” with your eyes mostly down and away from him. He just nods back and taps the bar as he gets ready to leave going “well be safe out here” and it’s that that has you asking him to stay. You insist you wanna buy him a drink and it’s not too hard to convince him to stay for free alcohol so he does.

He compliments your fit casually and is your face warm? No, it’s the alcohol silly. You start talking about all the annoying guys here and how “uncouth” they are (he raises his eyebrows at that one) as you just complain about how “there’s piss in the dating pool.” you wonder if you’ll just have to find the “least shitty” person and settle with them

He starts talking less as you enter your tirade. Eyeing you down and going “well if you don’t mind hanging out with this old fart, i can show you how we did dating back in the day.” you try to give him your snapchat but he doesn’t have it and can’t work it even when you get him to download it, so you just give him your number instead

He tells you to shoot him a text that you got home safe and you think it’s cheesy but you do it anyway

The date is super nice, he takes you to this really nice cafe you’ve been meaning to go to. It’s kinda strange cause the menu doesn’t have prices so it’s hard to choose (being a college student and all) but he assures you he’ll cover the bill and to eat your heart out. After that he takes you on a ferry ride and talks about history on every part of the waterfront. It’s then that you find out he’s in love with the sea and the taste of adventure, but he’s (mostly) settled down nowadays. You hope you can go on an adventure with him one day

You two spend a lot of time talking together (you mostly about your classes and professor drama, him mostly about his adventures in his youth, it’s then that he tells you he’s 39) and spend the waning hours of daylight shoreside, and as the sun sets he maps out the stars for you

“Not to be too forward, but i’d love to steal more of your time.”

So you guys go on another date. And another. And an—

Part of you wonders if/when he’ll ask you to be his girlfriend, but you don’t wanna do the “what are we?” talk, so instead you do your best to enjoy whatever it is you do have. No matter how many times he grabs you by the chin to face him when you’re looking off into the distance asking “what’s up, buttercup?” you just give the same variation of nothing answers. He knows what you want, but he’s scared to give it to you cause of who he is. If only you knew.

You’re walking down the street one day and try to ignore the scurrying behind you. You knew you should’ve left the library earlier, as the days are getting shorter, but the project is due this friday and—

You can’t even scream properly since they cover your mouth first. Your keys are between your fingers, but they grabbed your wrists at the same time. You’re blindfolded and gagged, delicately (as possible) placed in the backseat of a car. They keep saying how perfect you are for their boss and a bag of rocks drops from your stomach to your ass

They take you inside a building, up an elevator and blah blah blah, they take your blindfold off and “present” you to their…

“Shanks!”

“Watch your mouth!” one of them is about to smack you for the disrespect but shanks stops him with a raise of his hand and gives a sign to untie you. You run to him on his ridiculously fancy chair and hop in his arms crying about how these guys kidnapped you and were going to send you to some creep

He asks if you’re hurt, his frown lines pressed into his face as he realizes how bad you’re trembling. He holds you close when you look at him with tears in your eyes, wobbly lips, and a shaky voice saying you’re fine.

If looks could kill, the pair would’ve been incinerated on the spot. But they can’t. So shanks sends them away for a more effective method. They’re never seen again.

It’s then that he says he tells you that he’s the boss. You don’t understand at first until he explains that he’s “inherited” the title since the passing of his father as the crowned prince of the organization

While you’re trying to process it, he explains that that’s why he never asked you to become official with him. That and he didn’t wanna “steal your youth” away from you. But after you beg to stay with him despite it all, he sighs and says he has to be a “real man and stop pussyfitting around.” you’re his girl, and he should’ve been man enough to admit it and take care of you like he should have

Yall are official now. :)

@honeeslust here ya go!

#shanks x reader #shanks smut #shanks x you #cw gang #cw mafia #size difference #smut #cw breeding kink #cw dacryphilia #cw belly bulge #one piece smut #jordussy speaks #jordussy

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milolunde · 4 months ago

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Every wish (and rule + misc. magic) in Fairly Oddparents: A New Wish

Edit: Some wishes and notable magic might be missing or misrepresented. Now that the show is on Netflix, I'll revise the list and double check anything I misheard when I have time.

Season 1

Episode 1, Fly!

Hazel: I wish Antony were here to help me unpack. And keep me talking to a bunch of rocks. (no fairies)

Hazel: I’d like to wish for… unlimited wishes! (Rocktilda is not a fairy)

(Not wishes: Cosmo poofs up a jar of pennies; A can of condensed milk; Wanda poofs a venus fly trap; Cosmo, a portrait of him and Wanda…Cosmo shrinks Angela’s book… Wanda rebuilds a shelf…Cosmo fixes a crack in the wall then covers it with a picture of himself; Wanda replaces the picture. Wanda poofs the door open/poofs it out of existence… they magic up random mail. Wanda teleports in front of the apartment building door. Cosmo crashes into her and that opens the door, I guess.)

Hazel: I wish (Wanda: Uh oh, she said the magic word.) Hazel: I wish! (Cosmo: She said it again! Wanda: You know what happens when we hear the magic word!) Hazel: I wish I could just fly to Antony myself! (They both poof into fairies; their wands uncontrollably turn Hazel into a fly… Wanda: The intensity of your wish activated our magic)

(Cosmo makes a trail of fries back to the apartment then traps Fly-Hazel in a jar)

(Trying to turn Hazel back into a human, Cosmo turns a plant, a toaster, and himself, into Hazel… possibly other things off screen. Note: He hits his wand after a few times and says, “Why can’t I work this thing?”)

Hazel: I wish I was human Hazel again

(Cosmo: We have a spell on the front door that lets us choose what world we go out into [Fairy World or Earth])

Episode 2a, The Department of Magical Violations

Hazel has already made 99 wishes and her 100th wish was “on Cosmo and Wanda” for a “Fun Fantasy” where Cosmo is a princess in distress by Wanda, an evil seahorse, and Hazel- a knight- has to rescue him.

Hazel: I wish we were back at my house. Thanks for granting my fun wish

Hazel: Ok… I wish- oh no- mind break! Brain bad! THE PRESSURE! (Wish fart)

Jorgen: For this first trial, I am stirpping Cosmo of his wings and his magic and YOU have to make a wish to save his puny life before the time runs out (Jorgen poofs up a giant tower) Hazel: I wish Cosmo had a parachute! No, wait… I wish he had a trampoline instead- is that better?.. I-I wish for a mattress!

Jorgen: You must get everyone dancing or else… Hazel: I wish for a DJ- No! A robot DJ that plays mumble rap- no, beethoven, no! Death Metal!

Hazel: I know exactly what I want. Antony and I used to joke about how silly this bike would look if it were real. Ok, I wish for one of those… those old-timey bicycles? It’s old and it’s got a big wheel and a little wheel and it’s mixed with one of those bikes that Antony likes to ride.

Cookie: Don’t worry Hazel, Cookie knows what you’re wishing for (a fancy car; this is not what Hazel was wishing for)

Da Rules: A child must always get what they want.

Cookie: Go ahead and wish for something. Here’s the latest doll./You want the latest makeup trend? Girl, Boot-IFY yourself!/ Of course! Cookies! All kids love cookies.

Hazel: I wish for a thing that exists but doesn’t. Oh no, I can't think of the name. It's, like, big, but also small. (Wish fart)

Hazel: I wish Cosmo and Wanda were my Fairy Godparents!

Hazel: Without all the pressure, I remember my wish! Penny Farthing Dirt Bike! (Cosmo made a Penny Farting Dirt Bike for himself)

Episode 2b, Teacher’s Pal

(Cosmo and Wanda poof a helmet and safety gear onto Hazel then become the wheels of a skateboard so they can steer it)

Hazel: I wish I could be friends with my teachers (Decreases the teachers’ maturity)

Hazel: I sure wish this (Teacher’s breakroom) were a place for a child

Hazel: I wish everyday could be as fun as today was

Hazel: I wish the teachers were back to normal

Episode 3a, A Dinosaur in Dimmadelphia

Hazel: I wish to see a live dinosaur

Hazel: I wish Barry (the dinosaur) could speak English

Hazel: I wish people weren’t afraid of (Barry)

Hazel: I wish Barry got a job in a dinosaur movie

Hazel: I wish (Barry) had a job at the Dimmsonian museum

Hazel: I wish Barry had a job working with his hands

Hazel: Electric Light Ice Cream for everyone

Episode 3b, Fearless

Hazel: I wish Jasmine was fearless

Hazel: I wish Jasmine was afraid again

Hazel: I wish they were gone (Doesn’t work; fear must be faced once released)

Hazel: I wish for a Hazel stand-in so no one notices I’m gone

(Wanda: According to Da Rules… Fears can only be fought by the one whose fear it is)

Episode 4a, The Wellsington Hotellsington

Hazel: I wish my apartment were a five-star luxury hotel

Hazel: Cosmo, I wish you were a bellhop

Hazel: Wanda I wish you were a concierge

Hazel: I wish I had a security system to keep my mom and dad locked away all night. (Bank vault door and two guard chihuahuas)

Hazel: I wish I had a chicken nugget machine, a giant emu, and a helicopter to call my own

Hazel: I wish you two (Tina Churner and Camera Man) would leave me alone (sends them to the moon…)

Hazel: I wish everything were back to normal

Episode 4b, 1500 Minutes of Fame

Hazel: I wish everyone in the school knew me. I wish to be famous. (Cosmo + Wanda: Fifteen minutes of fame, coming up! [this summons Father Time])

Hazel: Well, whoever’s job it is, then, I wish I was famous at my school! (She gets 1500 minutes- 25 hours)

Hazel: I wish Father TIme was here

Hazel, to Father Time: I need you to end my fifteen minutes of fame early. (Nick of Time shows up and turns Hazel’s regular minutes into New York Minutes)

Hazel, in song: I wish I knew more New York-y things

Episode 5a, 28 Puddings Later

Hazel: I wish everyone had an unlimited supply of School Pudding

Hazel: I wish the pudding was being served after the class picture

Hazel: I wish everyone had an unlimited supply of broccoli pudding

Episode 5b, Trial and Hair-ror

Hazel: I wish my hair had spirit (brings her hair to life. Her name is Diana the Diva. Cosmo thought she wanted her hair to have A spirit)

Hazel: Silk scarf lasso, please

Hazel: Release the hair gel!

(Hazel wins Most Spirited Hair, this somehow isn’t cheating)

Episode 6a, Weird Science

Hazel: I wish my science project worked (this changes the laws of science; also somehow does not count as cheating)

Hazel: I wish everything were back to normal (Wanda: Can it wait, squirt? I’m busy transcending my body. [even when they do cast their magic it doesn’t work])

Hazel: I wish the laws of science were back to normal

Episode 6b, Mystery She Wished

Hazel: I wish I could solve a mystery as a genuine Gumshoe (Cosmo turns her into a shoe stuck in gum. Wanda turns her into a detective)

Hazel: Wish over, I want to be normal Hazel! (Wanda: You wished to be a detective like the ones you saw on TV,. None of them used magic to solve the case. You’re stuck until you solve the mystery.)

Episode 7a, Prime Meridian Love

Hazel: I wish I could go to the dance with Kennueth

Hazel: Oops, I wish Kennueth could breathe air

(Hazel: Why aren’t you hiding? He can’t know about magic. Wanda: Actually, since he’s a fictional character and not a real person Da Rule doesn’t apply)

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I wish Kennueth had a cool outfit for the dance.

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I wish we were at the docks

Episode 7b, Stanky Danky

Hazel: I just wish people wouldn’t be such trash monsters. (Cosmo: Did I hear a wish? Wanda: I heard “trash monster” Cosmo: One Trash Monster coming up!)

Hazel: I wish Stanky could say at least a few words

Hazel: I wish this box would take me to Danky

Episode 8a, Peace of Pizza

Hazel: I wish I could convince Dev to participate in kindness day

Hazel: I wish Dev had extra milk he could spare

Hazel: I wish the Pe-Az’s had something big to carry then Dev could do a kind act by holding the door open for them

Hazel: You know, Dev, I sure wish we had some pizza for you right now

Episode 8b, A New Development

Hazel: Dev is so mean, I wish I knew why he acted like that (this pairs Dev and Hazel together for the scavenger hunt)

Episode 9, Lost and Founder’s Day

Hazel: I wish to speak to a Dimmadelphia History Expert- A Dimmastorian.

Hazel: I wish that miserable kid had a new ice cream cone

Hazel: I wish that line moved faster

Hazel: I wish that bouncy was bigger, better, and bouncier!

Dev: I wish I could stay and talk (Not a real wish and it doesn’t get granted, but he said the words so…)

Hazel: I wish the statues weren’t magic anymore (they were never magic)

Episode 10a, Cookie’s Court

(Hazel had a streak of wishes, I’m not counting the hole punches to figure out how many, and earned another fun adventure on Cosmo and Wanda… again, whatever that means. Hazel must save Coswanda rock from a meteor, then she defeats Seahorse Wanda… Hazel says she wished for a talking gut the day before; she still has it)

Hazel: I wish Ferray could talk (Jorgen grants this)

Episode 10b, Work Her Magic

Hazel: I wish I was my mom’s assistant

Hazel: Can you guys…? (Hazel stand-in at school)

Hazel: I need backup! I wish you were in the meeting with me

Hazel: I wish that everything was back to normal! And that I was a kid again!

Episode 11a, Crock to the Future

Marcus: I sure wish (AJ) was coming… Hazel: Dad said the magic word! I wish tonight was extra special for him!

Hazel: I wish Crocker stopped trying to reveal fairies! (the building is covered in a butterfly net so they have no magic… [they can still float])

Episode 11b, Battle of the Dimmsonian

Dev: I wish everyone will think I'm really cool when I get out of the helicopter!... Wait, no! I wish everyone will think I look really powerful! … no, no, no, no wait!... hahaha, I’m just messing with ya’. Now, execute my wish!

(Dev spent “all morning wishing for the perfect cupcake”)

Dev: I wish I had Viozalia’s staff

Hazel: I wish I had Viozalia’s staff!

Dev wishes for Viozalia’s staff off screen

Hazel: I wish I had the staff

Dev: I wish I had the staff

Hazel: I wish I had the staff

Dev: I wish I had the staff

Hazel, offscreen: I wish I had the staff

Dev: I wish the spirit of Viozalia would come back to life (Peri is able to do this... Marcus says it’s a “Level 9 Spector”)

Dev: Viozalia, bring this museum to life. (She gets her staff back and brings everything to life)

Peri, reading Da Rules: What to do when your godkid tries to start a ghost apocalypse… NOTHING?!

Dev and Hazel: I wish Viozalia and her spirits would return to the spirit realm! (Peri, Cosmo, and Wanda all use their magic to grant this)

Episode 12a, Patty Possum’s Party Playground

Hazel: I wish Patty Possum would come to life

Hazel: I need to unwish my wish!!! (Wanda: sorry, kiddo. We can’t grant wishes without our wands)

Episode 12b, A Date to Remember

(Hazel had Cosmo and Wanda help her with her mom and dad’s anniversary presentation)

Hazel: I wish my parents could fall in love all over again.

Hazel: I wish they were back in love (Wanda: We can do the setup but according to Da Rules only cupid can make people fall in love)

Hazel: then I wish Cupid was here

Hazel: I wish a had a microphone and piano

Episode 13, Operation Birthday Takeback

Hazel wished for a Prime Meridian Love manga that was only released underseas so she could give it to Dev for his birthday

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I wish for a pair of rocket boots for Dev (Dev: Why didn’t you think to get these for me, Pickle-Brained Peri? Peri: because my job is to grant you wishes. Not to read your mind.)

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I need you! Dev: Peri, get in here! (They don’t show up)

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, Peri, where the heck are you! (They still don’t show up)

Hazel: Movie night! And you know what goes great with movies? Really big ice cream!

Dev: I wish you would leave me alone! (Peri: I… As you wish, kid.)

Episode 14a, Potazel Potahzel

Hazel: I wish I could have unlimited french fries

You are what you eat is literal with magic food

Hazel: Turn me back into a human, right this minute (they have to consult Mother Nature)

Episode 14b, The Haunting of Wells House

Hazel: I wish we were on our own paranormal investigation show

Hazel: I wish there was no fairy evidence on the video

Episode 15a, Lost in Fairy World

(Hazel still has a talking gut)

Dev: I want to go to Fairy World! At all costs! (Cosmo: sorry, Dev, Fairy World is reserved for special occasions. Like being tested by Jorgen in the Wish Trials, being tested by Jorgen in a giant cage match, or being tested by Jorgen in a- well, you get it… Peri: You’re not his Fairy Godparents! I am! I’ll handle this. Ahem. Dev, Fairy World is reserved for special occasions, like being tested by Jorgen, and as your Fairy Godparent I cannot let you go.)

Dev: Fine. I wish to go to Fairy World and not be tested by Jorgen (Peri: You can’t do that! Cosmo and Wanda: Aw, our son’s first wish loophole!)

Hazel: My gut is telling me I wish to go, too!

Dev: That’s where I want to go! The one place I can’t! The Hocus-Pogo-Stick or whatever! (Peri: Don’t worry, Hazel, it’s off limits t- Cosmo: IT’S OFF LIMITS TO HUMANS! <3 Peri: Yes. Thanks dad. And y- Wanda: You need a magic wand to travel Fairy World and only fairies have those.)

Dev: Well, I WISH I had a wand! (Peri: Uhm. I can’t do that. Can I do that? I’m not gonna do that.)

Dev: To the Hiccus-Pickle-Star or whatever. (Dev uses Peri’s wand, it transports them to StarDome)

Hazel makes a wand and casts rainbows. Dev makes a ladybug car. Dev poofs Hazel into a toaster, I think. Hazel poofs Dev into (or Dev poofs himself into) an Obtuse Rubber Goose on a skateboard. Hazel (or a rogue wish) freezes dev. A rogue star unfreezes him.

Dev accidentally unwishes him and Hazel into the Hocus Poconos. (Though they weren’t wishes in the first place. But I’m just writing this.)

There’s an unwish dragon that eats unwishes

Peri poofs him, Cosmo, Wanda, Dev, and Hazel out of Jorgen’s office and back to his parent’s house. (Still in Fairy World)

Episode 15b, The Treble with Rivals

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I wish I could play all instruments. (This summons the nMusic Fairy)

Hazel: I wish for a trumpet and a violin

Hazel makes a miscellaneous wish to be in two places at once. This doesn’t clone her, it looks like it just poofs her between rooms but no one seems to care about her randomly appearing and disappearing.

Hazel: I wish that the band and orchestra kids had nothing to be rivals about (This gets rid of music)

Hazel: Just take me to the nMusic Fairy, please

The nMusic Fairy gives Hazel a note to temporarily restore music

Hazel is put in the nMusical Hall of Fame

Episode 16a, Rattleconda Racers

Hazel: I wish he was into (Rattleconda Racers) now.

Hazel: I wish we were out of the game! (They can't, that would be cheating)

Episode 16b, Dig a Little Deeper

Hazel: I wish we were in a cave

Hazel: I wish I could find the coolest, shiniest, most out of this world rock! (They poof it from the “opposite end of the universe”)

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I wish we were safely back at home (they don’t have their wands)

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I wish we were back at home

Episode 17a, Best of Luck

Cosmo and Wanda have their home in Hazel’s school desk

Dev: Get me that free T-shirt, I wish for that free t-shirt. (Peri: I can get you a T-shirt, but I can’t get you that T-shirt because it’s a prize. Da Rules state that-)

Dev: Of course Hazel won, she probably wished for it (Peri: Doubtful, Da Rules state that-)

Peri: Hazel having two fairies has nothing to do with the luck of-

Dev: I wish to be in tomorrow’s school-wide tournament (Peri: Dev, that’s cheating! I can’t-)

Dev: I wish for straight A’s (Peri: Da Rules-)

Dev: I wish for Hazel to have all F’s (Peri: I can’t-)

Peri: You know what, Dev, I’m done! (This counts as a resignation)

Dev: I wish it was tomorrow! (Irep grants this)

Dev: I wish to be back in the tournament today

Dev: I wish for Hazel Wells to have bad luck!

Hazel: I wish to have good luck (Wanda: Something is preventing our wands from granting your wish! [Wanda doesn’t think wishing for good luck counts as cheating])

Hazel: I wish for as many good luck charms as possible!

Da Rules: Once a fairy quits, any magical being can take their place

Dev: I wish Bev loved me/ I wish for a ton of money/ I wish to be king of America

Wanda turns some man into a racoon

Irep turns Cosmo into an ostrich

Dev: Irep, I wish Cosmo and Wanda were NOTHING (Jorgen intercepts this wish, nullifying it)

Peri: when I quit, I never gave two-weeks notice so Dev is still my godkid

Jorgen reverses all of the wishes Irep granted… then physically throws Irep back to Anti-Fairy World

Episode 17b, Hazel Wells and the Multiverse of Jenkins

Hazel: I wish I had a do-over (Wanda, technically: If the wish involves time, we’ll have to call- Hazel: Father Time, yeah, sure sure sure, just do it.)

Hazel: Father Time, I need a do-over (time loops cereal- 568+ times; ruptures the space-time continuum)

Episode 18a, Growing Pains

Hazel: I wish I was thirteen so I could see Gregory by myself (they used fairymones to age her up)

Hazel: I wish we were at the theater

Pasta Puberty: When fairies reach a certain age, powerful fairymones cause big emotional and physical changes like pesto-pits, (unintelligible)-acne, and even mozzarella mood swings.

Hazel: I wish you two would just get lost

Hazel: I wish I was ten again!

Episode 18b, Fairy for a Day

Hazel: I wish I could go to Fairycon (Cosmo: sorry, Hazel, but this is a fairies only event)

Hazel signs a fairyfication certificate and becomes a fairy (Hazel: I thought you said godkids couldn't be fairies. Wanda: Godkids cant wish to be fairies)

Becoming an official fairy means you get your own anti-fairy

Lady: This macrochip powers all the wands in Fairy World. If this isn’t plugged in properly, no fairy can use their magic

Hazel: Cosmo, Wanda, I wish I was a kid again (Wanda: according to Da Rules we didn't make you a fairy so we can’t unmake you a fairy)

Hazel makes another of herself. It basically has no soul

Lezah makes two- then more- then gives them all papers- then turns herself into Hazel

Hazel destroys the certificate with magic- this gets rid of Lezah.. Not her shoes, though.

Episode 19a, Stuck in My Head

Hazel: I wish Winn and Jasmine were inside my head, that way they could really get to know me

Hazel: I wish the mind worm was gone (Wanda: We can’t do that. The mind worm is a part of you)

Hazel: I wish we were back at home

Episode 19b, Mind the Gap

Hazel: I wish my gap was gone (Tooth Fairy)

Hazel: I wish I had floss

Hazel: I wish for cinnamon toothpaste

Hazel: I wish the Tooth Fairy were here

Episode 20, The Battle of Big Wand

Cosmo: Don’t you wish to land safely? (Hazel: of course I do)

Wanda: Don’t you wish you were already dressed for school? (Hazel: Sure, why not)

Hazel: Did you magically brush my teeth? (Cosmo: Only because you wished for it! You did wish for it, right?)

Hazel has made 999,999 wishes. 1,000,000 wishes means you get a rule free wish

Hazel: I wish that drool was dried! (1,000,000)

Fairies have an Information Technology department

Dev: That Fairy World sign, fix it (Irep: Done and doner *It says Dev World*/ *Irep poofs sunglasses onto Jorgan’s office, then makes it bigger*)

Irep: (About the DMV) What are we thinking? (Dev: Slap an E on it!)

Dev: Seize them! (Hazel, Cosmo, and Wanda)

Anti Fairies started an Anti-web that humans (or at least Dev) can access

Irep tapes Dale’s mouth shut

Dev: Irep, I wish all godkid were reassigned to anti-fairies. (Hazel doesn’t get a fairy. Irep poofs her back to her home)

Dev: If I’m lactose intolerant then I wont tolerate lactose. Remove it!

Dev: Geography’s too hard, let's make it one place

Dev: The trouble (he might say treble here, in reference to the episode) with music is that there’s too many options. Try a new beat. I’ll call it Dev-step

All competitions have winners/ Couples are breaking up willy nilly/ pets are coming to life from their cemetery

Hazel: For the past year I have had Fairy godparents (just lore/ she has made 1,000,000 wishes in a year.)

Hazel: Wanda I wish you would restore Fairy World back to normal (Despite experiencing magic build up, Wanda can grant this- this also heals Peri and Cosmo [and anyone else])

Jorgen wipes Earth’s memories of fairies

Hazel: Wait I’m still owed one rule-free wish! … I want (Jasmine, Winn, and Antony) to keep their memories and be allowed to know about fairies forever.

Jorgen poofs all seven of them back to Earth

Seven Penny Farthing-Farting Dirt Bikes (and four helmets)

#the fairly oddparents #fairly oddparents #fop a new wish #fop #fopanw #fairly oddparents a new wish

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blossomingbows · 2 months ago

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new diva UNLOCKED💜

the new addition to my upcoming heap of blocktales ocs ……… take a good look at this sweet old fart!!!!!!! i love her sm :3

i also have these two already made and shown so many times before LMAO

i got like??? maybe two more characters to make and maybe i’ll draw some little incidentals for this little kingdom :D i’ll be opening my asks if anybody has any questions about these sillies!!!! :D

#oc #oc art #art #roblox #blocktales roblox #block tales #blocktales oc #roblox art

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awweshuuks · 9 months ago

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OUTSIDERS OC???

WHAT THE FART??

Btw 2 of these are from like April 😔

Don’t jump me 🙁

YYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA

MEET DIANE EVELYN TAYLOR!!!!!!

SHES AN 18 YEAR OLD SERVER WHO WORKS AT HER GRANDFATHERS FAMILY DINER!!!!!!

She’s so silly :3 PLEASE ASK ABOUT HER CAUSE LIKE I LOVE HER SMMMMM

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pasta-in-the-pudding · 1 year ago

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nina, jane, jeff and clockwork with a scene! s/o? :3

scene kids >>>

Also i feel like you picked some of the most perfect creeps for this prompt

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nina

I feel like she would be a mix of scene and emo

Mostly scene though

So she adores having a scene s/o!

You borrow each other's hairspray and teasing combs and accessories, etc

She steals your shirts sometimes if it goes better with her outfit

She always returns it....

....after she covers it in her perfume

Hair dying dates are very much a thing!

Whether shes dying yours, youre dying hers, or maybe you both do each others!

Another common date is making kandi together

She's made you bracelets that say her name, say both of your names, and say silly things like "fart"

Someday, she wants to go on a concert date with you

The two of you, wearing matching outfits and partying all night long to the music

It makes her heart flutter!!

Speaking of things that make her heart flutter, she gets butterflies when she hears your clothes jingle

She doesn't quite know what it is about it, but she loves it so much

If you are someone who wants to get married, she constantly talks about how she's gonna get gerard way to play at your wedding

She also loves doing your makeup!!

Her favorite part is the lipstick

In her opinion, it brings the entire look together

Though, you'd look gorgeous no matter what

Jeff

This guy is an absolute metal head

But in his younger years, he was a emo kid

We're talking sode part, too many belts, a strange amount of mcr t-shirts, the list goes on and on

So when your relationship with him begins, he will most likely give you all of his old gear

You will have to wash most of it because lord knows this boy does not shower

Maybe if you asked nicely enough hed dress up again for you

But he would refuse to go out like that

He would like to go shopping with you though!

A date i think he'd have fun with is going to the mall together, getting boba and just walking around buying clothes and accessories

Which is something he can do now, since he spends most of his time in the underworld

You'll just have to hope that you don't get caught up by the paparazzi

Which is almost never the case, especially with him being JEFF. THE. KILLER.

If you do manage to have a nice time with just the two of you though, congrats!

Jane

I feel like Jane doesn't really enjoy the scene aesthetic

She's a very toned down person, so all of the accessories and loud music just kind of overstimulates her

But, its not like shes gonna make you dress any way

If you like the way you dress, then thats your choice and she respects that

She would like to watch you style your hair and do your makeup though

Shed find it intriguing, and she enjoys seeing how your styles differ

She might let you style her hair as well, but it would take a lot of convincing

She is very particular about her hair, and seeing all of the hairspray you put in yours, it would really make her uneasy

But if you did convince her, she'd be pleasantly suprised!

She'd want you to style her hair more often, because she discovered that the way you style it actually flatters her face shape very well

I feel like shed be open to going to a concert with you!

Just dont expect her to really do much

She'll be very busy just enjoying the music, she wont drink or really even dance much

If you are shorter than her, she will hold your hips and sway side to side with you to the beat

If you're taller than her, then she will stand in front of you, with your hands around her shoulders

Clockwork

I feel like she wouldn't really care that you're scene

In the nicest way possible

Like she just doesn't really care what you dress like, she loves you and thats all she knows

But if you wanted to ramble all about your fashion or music, shed be happy to listen!

Shed be the most willing (besides nina) to let you dress her up

She feels super cool once she gets all of the belts and chains around her waist

It gives her a sort of nostalgic feeling

She wasnt necessarily scene when she was younger, but she had the classic bangs and she wore mostly baggy jeans and band t-shirts

She is willing to let you do basically anything to her

If you wanna practice makeup on her, she will let you

If you wanna see how an outfit looks, she'll model it for you

Shes the most chill with doing whatever you wanna do

Like she will literally say yes to anything

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