#i love that pothead symbol so fucking love. i love it

[petrichoremojis]

[ID: a drawing of a plain yellow person holding a smoking joint. their head is hollow and contains a large cannabis leaf. end ID]

[ID: a drawing of a plain yellow person holding a smoking joint. their head contains a large cannabis leaf on a pink backdrop. end ID]

[ID: a drawing of a plain yellow person holding their hand up against a cannabis leaf with a large red X on their head. end ID]

[ID: a drawing of a plain yellow person holding their hand up against a cannabis leaf with a large red X on their head. in the bottom left there is a clock with a highlighted light green portion and a green arrow pointing to that portion. end ID]

two variants for 'pothead', then a symbol for "i don't want to do weed", and then a symbol for "i don't want to do weed right now"

[eemoo1o]

You all can’t tell me that Daphne and Shaggy weren’t fucking

[bapyess1r]

I Like You A Lot

WARNINGS: cursing and violence

Pairings: Chloe Frazer x Nadine Ross x OC

Tags: @desertvvitch, @courtenbae

A/N: I’m gonna put the “Read More” after work

Chapter 16

Sunny’s POV

“Gaaahh!!” I exclaimed, the girls laughing as I spat out the water that involuntarily splashed into my mouth as I climbed the spectacle of a ruin. Granted it was “clean”, you never really know. We’d finally come across Belur. It was beautiful. More beautiful than Halebidu in my opinion. A hidden underground city clearly fed by the aqueducts, water delicately falling over the cliffs; wild vines grew by the clean, misty air, almost a complete serenity at first glance. That was until a massive explosion sounded, disrupting the natural silence as it rang out through the massive cave. Annoyed, the three of us began to climb in that direction. To the very top. The longer the job went on, the more comfortable I began to get with heights again. Pretty soon, it would be no sweat at all.

I watched the two women climb up to the last platform, Nadine reaching out for me as I was the last to arrive. She pulled me up and patted me on the shoulder with a small smile and we made our way up a set of stairs. Smack dab in the middle was a gorgeous golden sculpture of Shiva, Nandi, and what Chloe thought might’ve been his eldest son. At the top of the stairs was the entrance to where we needed to go next but of course, it had been blown to bits. I cursed to myself and scratched my head in frustration.

“Damn...there’s got to be another way inside…” Chloe said, taking the words right out of my mouth as I looked around the small garden that bloomed in the middle of the area. She shook her head as she walked about, chewing her lip. “They’re trying to slow us down.” she grumbled.

“Well they fucked up. We’ll find a way. We always do…” I said with reassurance as I stared hard at a possible alternative solution to our problem at hand. Smoke was pouring out of a small window nearby. “I wonder….” I grumbled, walking over to it. I climbed up and looked inside. It was a bit hard to see from the smog but it seemed like a decent little tunnel inside. I crawled up and further inside to double check and stuck my head out. “This way, there’s a path here.” I told them and they followed me into the tunnel.

We took the tunnel into a room with a massive pool in the center. Across the way we’re two men, standing guard at the entrance to the next room. Dropping from the high exit, I spotted them. “Damn!” I heard Nadine swear as she and Chloe hopped down behind me. Immediately, I pulled out my .9mm and took aim, pulling the trigger without a second thought. Normally you know what happens when you do that… Which is why I wasn’t at all prepared for what would happen next. A sudden spark erupted from the man; a flash of fire and the loud bang of the explosion absolutely obliterated him, injuring his partner as he was sent head first into the nearby wall and collapsing the entryway in the process. The three of us exclaimed rather loudly, Chloe’s brows raised as Nadine clasped her hands over her mouth. I threw my arms over my head as my jaw dropped, taking a few steps back.

“Holy shit!” I gasped, looking at the crumbled scene.

“Must’ve had a deadman’s switch…”

“Well shit.” I huffed, staring at the pool of water before us. The longer I looked at it, the more I realized how dark the middle of it was. I wrinkled my brows and walked towards it. Another tunnel. I shook my head, blowing out a puff of irritated air. ‘Alright, Spurrs. Guess you’re Michael Phelps now.’ I thought as I dropped to the ground and dipped my legs into the cold fresh water. I shivered a little. We’d been drenched in water for hours and as much as it usually wouldn’t bother me, I was tired of being so pruney. “It’s deeper there in the middle. I’m thinkin’ there’s a passage?” I said. Chloe’s crazy ass… jumps in the water without even a moment of hesitation, swimming as deep as she could.

“Frazer!” Nadine exclaimed, rushing knee deep into the water to look where she’d gone.

“Oh Jesus…” I grumbled looking down after her as I stood. After a couple seconds, she appeared to the surface, gasping for air. She pushed her hair off of her face as she began to tread the water.

“You were right! There’s a light at the end. Looks like a bit of a swim though. Can your lungs handle that, love?” Chloe joked, splashing water at me playfully. Nadine giggled a little and I just nodded my head, fighting off a smile.

“You should be a comedian. This treasure hunter bullshit doesn’t suit you.” I said sarcastically as I joined her in the water.

Just like that, the three of us dove into the less than temperate waters. We swam down until I spotted the breach at the bottom. Nadine and I followed Chloe down the tunnel, pushing ourselves along by the slippery algae covered walls. When we reached the other side we began to swim to the surface. Half expecting Asav’s men, I pulled my gun immediately and pointed at the area before us. When I could tell the coast was clear, we climbed out of the cool waters; wringing out our clothes and hair, wiping off excess water from our faces. Behind the stairs before us was a beautiful stone and gold carving into the wall; women. I didn’t need any more information on that subject. I just felt in my spirit that they had important roles here. Like this was their city. We took the stairs into a shorter hallway. What we found in the next room seemed to take Chloe’s breath away. The ceilings were high and open, letting the sunlight fill the octagonally shaped room. It was light colored stone all around with gold trim, shelves lined around the room stacked tall with dusty artifacts. Moss and grass grew between cracks all over the place. My eyes widened as I looked around, marveled by everything in sight. I let out a loud whistle and picked up a ring that felt like it had been made from solid gold. It was certainly heavy enough to make the assumption...

“Boy, I betcha we could make a pretty penny offa all this….” I mumbled, admiring the green jewel sparkling in its golden bed. Suddenly, Chloe looked at me a moment and snorted.

“Oh God, you even sound like him.” She said, scrunching up her nose as she picked up a stack of thin pieces of wood, examining it briefly.

“Like who?” I asked, crinkling my brows.

“Like Sam.” She said simply. I scoffed in amusement.

“Minus that horrid accent he’s got.” Nadine interjected, snickering as she looked at a few items herself. The girls shared a laugh as I sucked my teeth and tried not to laugh myself, tucking the ring into my pocket before looking around again. There was a little bit of everything; jewelry, instruments, maps, documents, tools and pottery…. It was an interesting little stop n’ shop for me. I kept finding jewelry to take back to my friends and for myself even. I looked over. Chloe’s shoulder as she picked up a lovely piece of pottery. Small but well detailed.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“I dunno… powder…? Maybe herbs.” She mumbled. I judged her in the side with my elbow gently, wiggling my brows mischievously.

“What kinda herbs?” I smirked. She put the pot down and shoved me away from her with a chuckle.

“Not those herbs, you pothead!” She said and I snorted as I went to explore more. I ran my fingers across the untuned, rusty strings of a veenar that stood in a corner as an unpleasantly untuned sound echoed in the space. I walked by to pass between the shelves and smack dab in the middle of the room was a beautiful gold and marble sculpture; almost a natural spotlight shone on it, magnifying its beauty even more. My eyes grew the size of plates as my feet seemed to gravitate towards it. Chloe and Nadine came in on the other side, also lost in its beauty. An army of strong golden men, their bodies and shields riddled with arrows as they carried a humongous white marble tusk on their backs.

“I think my new favorite thing is Hoysala art…” I commented. The detail was so exquisite! I’d never been moved by a piece of work until this. Everything we went through almost seemed worth the strife. I watched as Chloe crouched to its level to admire it on its pedestal.

“It’s an altar of some kind.” She commented.

“Looks like the king suffered dearly for his people.” Nadine noted. I nodded as I felt my brows meet in the middle. Chloe stared at it for a moment and as she turned to look at us, I could see the gears turning in her head again. Her bright eyes narrowed as she paced a bit.

“They weren’t just protecting the Tusk…” she began.

“What else would they go through all this fuckery for?” I found myself asking aloud.

“Historians believed it was a symbol of power and dominance but… I reckon they misunderstood…” she said simply, one of her hands began to fidget with a cuticle.

“As most do….” I murmured.

“This tusk…. It was a symbol of their people… a symbol of their culture…” she sighed. I could feel my face twist up as I thought about what these men must’ve gone through for their home.

“So…. ‘For Belur!’ I guess…” I mumbled.

“Precisely…” She said, kicking up dirt with her muddy boots. Nadine bent and placed her hands on her knees to get a closer look at it and blew off a bit of cobwebs and dust from the top of it. Along it we’re a few pieces in a straight line but one seemed to be missing. I narrowed my eyes as I strained them to catch the detailing on the pieces.

“What the…?” I mouthed to myself as Nadine seemed to notice it too. She leaned even closer before shouting out softly.

“Oi! Frazer… these look like that thing you’ve been fiddling with.” She said looking back at her with a look of shock. I huffed out some air in surprise, myself. Chloe frowned as she pulled the small golden figure of Ganesh from her pocket as stared at it sadly for a while. When she was ready, she took a deep breath and walked towards the altar to place it among the others with a shaky hand. I saw her struggling with it so I rose to my feet and placed a careful hand on her shoulder. She let it go and dropped it in its spot; then all of the others seemed to lock into place. A perfect fit. I gasped a little as Chloe let out a vulnerable and shaky sigh, lowering herself to its level. She stared at it intently for a moment then looked at us with a sad expression.

“My dad was here….” She said chuckling faintly, chewing on her lower lip as she tried to find the words that could explain all that she felt. “... ‘Something big’, alright…. God… why didn’t that stupid bastard tell me?” I could see the tears beginning to well up in her bright blue eyes as I squeezed her shoulder. She took a deep breath to gather herself but her voice cracked all the same.

“You said it yourself— He wanted to keep you safe.” Nadine said solemnly, pushing a lock of Chloe’s hair behind her ear. She turned her gaze back to the figures before her and shook her head in disbelief, sitting down on the ground with her back against the altar. Nadine and I took a few steps back to give her some space. She massaged a spot in her temple and chewed on her thumbnail as she wept silently, her hands shaking. Eventually, Nadine knelt down at her side and placed a rough but gentle hand on her forearm, stroking at her tanned and dirty skin. Chloe lifted her head and looked between us both.

“I can’t let Asav get that tusk.” She said to us in a weak voice, but it was brewing with determination. I could feel my brows crinkling again as I nodded, suddenly sharing that same determination. Nadine shook her head and looked her partner deep in her eyes.

“No. No, we can’t.” She said. A smile began to curl on her lips as she looked at her. It was small but grateful. I placed a hand on her knee and squeezed it gently in agreement.

“Thank you…” she whispered to us. Nadine seemed to shake herself off the trance from staring into her eyes for too long and chuckled.

“Thank us after we get out of this alive…” she smirked and Chloe laughed, herself.

“Fair point…” She sniffled, wiping away her tears on her dirty red shirt. With that, the both of us reached out a hand to help her up and she dusted herself off (pointlessly so).

“Don’t forget Ganesh.” I told her, knowing she’d probably want to keep it. Chloe’s brows shot up and she turned around to lift it from its slot. Just then, the wall in front of us dropped slowly, revealing a new entryway.

“Aha… glad I brought this then.” She said with a smile before tucking it away again.

We continued on, climbing, swinging, and swimming until we found ourselves emerging from a bit of clear blue water in front of a massive statue of Shiva. It seemed to be the only thing in the room. All the grandeur of Belur was beginning to hit me now. Everything was just breathtaking and beautifully built and constructed. This statue being another great example. It took awhile to figure it out but between the three of us, we found that all the arms set off channels of water, trailing down two of Shiva’s long arms. Speaking of arms… My arms were burning as I tiredly climbed the hourglass shaped drum. After setting off all the channels, we noticed a level above us that needed exploring. So with curiosity, we aimed to climb higher. The drum suddenly began to rise again to a platform at Shiva’s shoulder. Upon stepping onto the lush grass that grew there, a doorway opened up for us. Nothing seemed to surprise me about Belur anymore. That was until we took the stairs inside. The stairway took us up to a platform atop the statue’s head where a massive gold crank wheel sat.

“That looks promising.” Nadine mumbled as I began to spin the wheel. A rumble sounded and the hands of Shiva came together, pooling water into a gigantic bowl sat before him. Once it was full, a sudden stream of prismed light burst from its forehead. Shiva’s Third Eye. The light shone on a statue across from us as a chandelier began to drop from the high ceiling. “Christ, this is a lot.”

“The Hoysala sure don’t do shit halfway, eh?” I commented, inching myself to the edge of the platform to look down. ‘Fuck— why’d I do that for?’ I thought, taking a deep breath. “Lemme go first so I can get it over with.” I grunted. The girls smirked and stepped back as I pulled on my rope, swinging my wrist around as I aimed for the chandelier. I shook my head nervously, never taking my eye off of the spot I wanted. I let go of the rope and by the grace of god, the grapple hooked onto it. “Lit. Now… the scary part…” I said, tugging on the rope to make sure I wouldn’t fall. ‘Alley oop!’ I heard Sam’s voice say in my head and I shook my head, rolling my eyes at the ridiculousness of it. I took a deep breath and stepped off the platform, never letting my grip loosen as my body swung across from the statue to the platform before me. I let go and grabbed onto the edge with a squeal, climbing up to solid ground as quickly as possible. I laid out on the floor and took a massive deep breath. When I looked over, the girls were dancing in place, clapping and cheering like proud parents. I threw a thumbs up and exhaled in exasperation.

“Go, Sunny!” Chloe cheered with a giggle as she readied herself to swing across. I chuckled and rolled over, rising to my feet to look around at the number of statues placed along the platform. I walked up to one, examining it, and noticed the pedestals they stood on were rotatable.

“Hmm…” I said aloud, placing my hands on my hips. I had barely noticed the girls had made it across already.

“What’s ‘hmm’?” I heard Nadine ask.

“If I turn this statue…. do y’all think I’ll die?” I asked stupidly as I turned to face them. They both made various but honest expressions.

“Well… if you did die… it’d make a bitchin’ story at your funeral.” Chloe replied with widened eyes, pursing her lips. I raised a brow and shrugged before stepping up to the pedestal.

“Shit, that’s all I ask.” I said, scrunching up my face as I began to turn the statue. Somehow, I didn’t seem all too worried about dying anymore. I turned it carefully and the colorful light split into two, bouncing off of the prism it held. I gasped suddenly knowing what I had to do. “Do all these statues have mirrors?” I asked.

“Looks that way, yeah.” Nadine replied. I looked at the chandelier we swung on and noticed another prism that sat inside it.

“What are you thinking, China?” Chloe asked.

“All of these beams? Need to meet there…” I gestured with a pointed finger. Chloe smiled and smacked my ass.

“Good work, Sunflower.” She winked at me. Feeling proud, I nodded as we began to split up and divide the work.

It didn’t take very long to do. Most of the statues were turned until it came to one of the last ones. The top half was broken. “Well dag nabbit… Now what?” I huffed. Without even thinking, Nadine climbed the pedestal and picked up the mirror, stone hands still attached to it. I chuckled as she raised the mirror above her head like the others.

“You make a phenomenal statue, Nadine.” Chloe commented as she leaned on the pedestal to admire her. Nadine blushed and averted her gaze to me.

“Hurry up and finish this. This thing’s heavy.” She said as Chloe stepped back to take a picture. “Really?” She huffed. I grinned, giggling a little as I ran over to the final statue. It had to be rolled to meet the beam and positioned just right. “Be careful, Spurrs! That ledge doesn’t look sturdy.” She told me. And she was right. It was already leaning down a little too much for my liking. But I sucked it up and stepped onto it slowly, holding my breath like it was going to magically make me weightless or something. As soon as the statue was positioned properly, another rumble sounded.

“Well that did somethin’...?” I said, not really quite sure if something indeed happened.

“So I can put this down now?” Nadine asked.

“Um…. yes?” I answered, making a face. That thing must’ve been heavier than it looked.

“Wait! Not yet!” Chloe shouted, running over to my side to see what was going to happen.

“What’s happening? I can’t see from here!” Nadine asked as the two of us watched all the beams strike the prism in the chandelier and form one singular beam that pointed towards the bowl of water before Shiva. I shook my head in confusion, placing my hands on my hips as I looked to Chloe for the answers.

“All this water… It’s a cleansing ritual.” She mumbled. Luckily I was close enough to hear her.

“What’s happening?!” Nadine asked again.

“Oh! You can put the mirror down now—”

“SHIT THEY’VE FOUND US!” Nadine exclaimed as I heard a door by the ledge across the room open up.

Acting quickly, the two of us ran off of the platform. But before I could step off of the ledge to follow her, I heard a loud whistle coming my way. I stopped to turn and see a ball of fire flying towards me. “SHIT!” I exclaimed, pushing my legs as fast as I could but the warhead hit the ground I stood on and began to lean. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I swore as the ground began to slip from beneath me. Chloe reached out for me but I’d already slipped and began to roll. The statue rolled the same direction I did and right off of the ledge. I was headed the same way. Soon as my body began to fall, I felt Chloe’s hand grab hold of my wrist. She pulled me up as fast as she could and I followed her across the breaking ledge to “safety”. I could hear Nadine’s gunfire and I immediately took cover behind a wall, pulling on my gun. I lifted my head and closed my eyes to give myself half a second before jumping out to shoot the men accosting us, powering through without stopping. The three of us took them out one by one, heading for the door they’d just come out of. We could get out that way. For a moment, I was sure we’d made it home free until another warhead hit and the ledge beneath our feet crumbled. Chloe hung off the edge and I held Nadine’s arm as she reached out for her partner.

“HURRY! TAKE MY HAND!” She shouted.

“I’M TRYING!” Chloe cried out, her voice straining as she stretched her arm as far as she could. She was almost there, their fingertips brushing against each other’s. I leaned forward a bit to give Nadine a little more leeway when the ledge broke off completely. The three of us screaming for dear life as we all came crashing down. The water hit my skin like hot fire as I fell in. My skin stung and my body ached, yet I still had no time to think. I had to swim around the dark waters to avoid the falling debris. When I popped my head to the surface, I began to look around for the girls, swimming to land. I could hear faint splashes behind me and painful groans. Suddenly, I wasn’t panicking so much. I crawled onto solid ground, my body feeling heavy as I coughed and heaved, dragging my body along. I wiped the excess water from my eyes and opened them to be met with a couple pairs of dirty heavy boots. I sighed dramatically as I felt a pair of hands grab me by my sore arms and cuff my wrists. When I looked up, the girls were being cuffed as well and Asav stood before the three of us with an amused smirk.

“Well that was quite the fall. You had me worried!” He smiled sarcastically. That smile faded rather quickly as he tucked away his gun. “Come. It’s time for a reunion.” He said and his goons dragged us away, following him to the bowl before Shiva. Already sitting there, tied up and pitiful (but safe), was Samuel Drake. His long arms cuffed behind him as well. His bright blue shirt now wet and soiled with dirt just like us but tenfold. “He wouldn’t give you up— despite my efforts to persuade him.” Asav grumbled as the man who held me tossed me to the ground next to him. I fell on the wet surface as he lifted his big old head to face me, revealing a ghastly swollen and bleeding black eye.

“Heeeey, sweetheart!” He said, weakly. And I sighed in exhaustion and relief. What was I going to do with this man?

[bakusoftie]

getting shitfaced with tape daddy, DANKi, Mina “best girl” Ashido, and shark boi

you know I just had to include the entire bakusquad 🥰 because they ALL smoking some shit

😁 tape daddy sero 😄

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG FOR SOMEONE TO REQUEST SERO

Okay so,,,Sero is basically a canon pothead cause 1. This boi is always smiling so he gotta be high 2. He radiates crackhead energy

Sero tells you that he only smokes because of his “anxiety” but,,,let’s be honest it’s the only way he knows how to survive U.A. anymore

He buys his shit from crackwhores in the support class who grow that shit themselves (present mic might have caught them but let them go after he “confiscated” the evidence)

One day, your tape daddy invites you for some Fortnite and Chill 😏

And there he goes with his rainbow bong again (it is his most prized possession and he would kill a man if anything happened to it)

He thinks it’s funny watching you cough your entire left nut out of your throat but then he starts coughing because of how hard he was laughing and now you both are just crying and whEEzing while the tears run down y’alls faces

such chaotic energy

Soy sauce boy will use his quirk to suspend himself off the roof and try to spooderman kiss you but you’re so out of it that you collide your face into his and now his nose is bleeding and he is WHEEZING AGAIN

hanTa

baBy

you’re getting blood on my Gucci Supreme rug

Y’all end up just laying on the floor at 4:20am, thinking about the reason for life and what happens after death and if the birds work for the bourgeoisie then is tokoyami a traitor ?!?

He gets sleepy and makes a hammock out of tape for the two of you to cuddle in

it wasn’t very sturdy tho

⚡️ danki ⚡️

first things first, this gif killed me 🤤 damn do you gulp pussy like that

uh

ANYWAY

Denki is pretty well-known to be a dumbass crackhead

Except he doesn’t need crack because all of his brain cells are already dead (There are only 2 brain cells in the bakusquad and the first one is all bakugou but sero,mina,denki, and kiri have to share the other one)

This boy gets high on the regular I mean sero is his best bro

kaminari prefers getting high by eating edibles or brownies tho because he’s a little pussy whose lungs can’t handle smoke all that much

he thought you two could play some mario kart and chill out and it would be a fun little date in the dorms

until you find a baggy of gummy edibles and y’all decided to inhale that shit

YALL GOT FUCKED UP

like

when I mean fucked

I mean ‘let’s sneak into shinsou’s dorm and steal his voice changer thingy and make some prank calls’ fucked up

first of all, never disturb shinsou while he’s sleeping because he will bitchslap the both of y’all so hard y’all’s momma feels it

you first started with calling Endeavour (you just asked shouto and he delivered and told y’all to ‘make the bastard cry if you can’)

oomf

Y’all used All Might’s voice and

“IT IS I, ALL MIGHT! CALLING TO ASK YOU...”IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY BROKEN? wELL yOu bEtter gO cAtcH iT [insert denki wheezing].”

for some reason, denki goes from being a really happy and jokey high to calming down and being unusually quiet

he’s what you call

“fake woke”

like he’ll go on and on about how we need to save the turtles and use metal straws as he takes a drinks from his plastic straw

he drinking La Croix 🤢

he talks about how the moon landing is fake and how you two are side characters in an anime like what ?!?

like he just quotes Shane Dawson Conspiracy Theory videos

“Uh What’s up you guys, Here’s Danki with another spooky conspiracy about how Midoryia was given All Might’s quirk and will be the next symbol of peace”

“Kami...that makes no sense. You can’t give other people quirks”

“What if...you ate their hair tho?😳”

“Denki...sTOP”

maybe he real woke 🤭

🌸 alien queen 🌸

this beautiful ball of sunshine

this gorgeous piece of cotton-candy

my wife

uwu

okay back to the h/c

Mina doesn’t get high a lot but when you hang out with Sero and Kaminari, you’re bound to get shitfaced

She only likes doing it as a group or with someone else

It’s just more enjoyable to her to be in that state with someone else

She feels like it brings friends closer together in a way

Which is why when you agreed to get high with her, she was so excited

she brought anything she could think of to make this a comfortable experience like snacks and drink if you get the munchies and the best movies to watch when you’re high like ‘Shrek’ and ‘Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle’

she has such a big fat lesbian crush on you

she just wants to be closer to you and spend all her time with you

she also really hopes you don’t get overwhelmed by the amount of pink of her room

You knock on the door of your cute pink crush and nervously hoping for the best tonight

maybe

if you’re lucky

you and her will 😏

cuddle 🥺

She opens the door so fast that you swear the door hinge cracked but you couldn’t think about that when Mina had the brightest toothy grin on her face as she pulls you into her comfy room

“I hope you like Shrek”

“I love Shrek”

um

is it too soon to ask you to marry her?

because she thinks you’re the girl of her dreams

she sits you down on the hot pink and black couch of hers and starts rolling the blunt as the movie starts to play

you were so hypnotized by her tongue coming out to lick the sides of the blunt in order to close it and apparently you were staring so hard that she noticed because you saw her already pink face flush into a dark red

you two are so cute

uwu

let’s go lesbians

When your hand touches hers as she passes the blunt to you, you honestly think you felt electricity connect your fingertips as it burned and shocked you at the same time

Mina is such a giggly high

it’s so fucking adorable

especially when you both are sent into a fit of laughter when she says donkey reminds her of denki and you responded with ‘denkey’

you both get tired after the second movie and start to move closer to each other for warmth and

you couldn’t help but notice how sweet she always smelled and how her eyes are so unique and beautiful

she could help but notice the light blush on your face and think if it was there because of all the laughing or if it was because of her

neither of you were sure who leaned in first but before you knew it, you were kissing the girl you’ve had a crush on for so long, you only wish you had the guts to do it when you were sober

you both got the cuddles you wanted and fell asleep in each other’s arms with peaceful smiles on both of your faces

🦈 shark boi 🦈

do you expect this manly boi to be the kind of person to 420 blaze it?

not at fucking all

he just seems like the person to not care about all that stuff

like ‘say no to drugs bc drugs are unmanly as fuck’

but

he 420 blazes it like every other weekend

it’s better to do it in moderation unlike sero, who is in a constant state of cloud nine

kiri’s mood doesn’t really change much when he’s high because

he’s already a smiling bundle of light

but

when kiri gets high

he kinda overshares 😳

“Y/n... have I ever told you that you have the tightest ass out of everyone in class like you could suffocate me between those cheeks and I’d die the happiest man on earth”

he’s so wild wtf

like he’ll go to tell you about his middle school insecurities to busting it down to Baby Shark

someone tell this man to stop referring to himself as ‘Daddy Shark’ blease make it stob

he is so flirty too like

“Baby let me show you why they call me a Riot 😏”

“Didn’t you come up with that name yourself?”

he is so sensitive tho so don’t be too harsh because he will start crying at the littlest things

don’t show him any sad movies while he’s in this state unless you want to be kept up all night with him ranting about how ‘Black Widow deserved better than what Marvel did to her’

did he lie?

😤 and i oop

you need to tell him how manly and strong and special he is just to get him to sleep

he will be out like a light the moment you run your hands through his spiky hair

he’s like a vsco girl on whiteclaw lmao sksksk

[greatfay]

The fosters 😏

Ohhhhhh my godddddddd I’m gonna diiiiiie. Ok let the memories resurface, this may take a minute.

my all-time ultimate fave character:

Stef. I just really liked her arcs, how straight forward she is, etc. Classic ISTJ tbh... cautious, reserved, protective, methodical, quietly affectionate. Like at the end of the day, I think she’s my fave. The kids go through so much ups and downs and Dumbass Moments that none of them can be my fave, and Lena is a close second but the writers only gave her one strong arc, and that’s when she tried to have a baby and that was so painful.

For several seasons I used to say my fave was Mike because he was Prime Dad Material. Like in the very first episode, he comes off as this douchey, entitled, deadbeat asshole who oversteps boundaries, right? Classic switcheroo. You find out this man is a saint, this man oozes emotional sensitivity and communication and affection, this man is also a dilf with eyelashes longer than should be legal. When he fostered AJ (I’m crying right now). Getting Ana through rehab??? Fighting his own alcohol addiction and not breaking once. Like the only time he ever let me down was his reaction to Dani MOLESTING Brandon, but he realized like whoa wait a minute... Brandon’s been taken advantage of and if Brandon were a girl he would see it different... Like all of Mike’s mistakes were temporary mistakes, he recovered quick and tried to do the right thing. If only his son was as quick on the uptake 😒

a character I didn’t used to like but now do:

Brandon. It took five seasons for me to like Brandon. You know how many seasons this show had? Five. And it’s because he’s pulled through the ringer of Suffering™ and it’s almost ALL his fault so that by the end when he’s doing the right thing again and again for the first time ever... and meets that super sweet girl... and then she DIES 

a character I used to like but now don’t:

Jude. He was such an intuitive, intense child, with wisdom earned from awful trauma, and watching him slowly assert himself was a wonder to watch. I do think the writers got lost with him, because his second love interest was a bore, his pothead thing was awful to watch, and when he became a twitch streamer with Taylor—WHAAACK. By the time of Good Trouble (which takes place years after The Fosters, so Jude is a sophomore/junior in college) Jude is drinking a LOT, partying a LOT, and fucking!!! a LOT!! Makes me concerned. Idk, it just felt like he lost his intuition halfway through the show and kept doing dumb stuff.

a character I’m indifferent about:

Every ex of the family lmao, idr them and I was not too fired up about any of them except maybe Emma. Like all of Jesus’ and Brandon’s exes I can’t remember.

a character who deserved better:

I’m just gonna make a list

AJ. Literally just him and Mike are just the cutest because of how earnestly the actor plays AJ, you know I love found family tropes and stuff.

 Mat. Such a sweetheart, the most accommodating and supportive boyfriend. So talented. Gorgeous hair. Mariana didn’t deserve him.

Cole. This boy fought SO HARD to be recognized for his gender, organized an LGBTQA prom for all his classmates who were rejected from their school’s prom, had to get hormones off the black market, and was so intuitive and loyal... honestly I loved Cole.

Aaron. SUCH a confusing end. Out of all the love interests, he and Callie popped with the most chemistry. The shared quest, the rides on the motorcycle, pictures at the beach, his great college advice. Their fight at her prom was so left-field and upsetting, and we know it’s because they wanted Callie to be single when the series ended so she could be free to date in Good Trouble. If I’m not mistaken, theirs is the first trans/cis relationship portrayed on network television... ever? And I mean a relationship, not a hook up.

Wyatt. Another sweetheart, what happened between him and Callie wasn’t really about him, it was about her and it was definitely about legal issues, and she was right to set her boundaries, but ouch that hurt. Gorgeous hair.

Notice how most of this list either dated Callie or crushed on her lmao except for Mat. Also

Rita. The woman lives and breathes childcare and youth advocacy. Let her win.

DAPHNE KEENE. She had her daughter with her in the series finale but I haven’t heard mention of her yet in Good Trouble, she’d better have custody and a job salary over 70k for what this show put her through.

EMMA. This poor girl was practically torn in two between the twins, from Jesus’ messy/horny ass to Mariana’s bossy controlling ass. She should be president.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into:

Most of Jesus’ relationships. He’s a fuck up so all of them are basically waiting for a train wreck. His most healthy one was with Emma, who was too good for him, and the one with most chemistry was with Lexi, but she was messy af too so that wasn’t going to work.

a ship I’ve never been able to get over:

Jude/Connor. It sailed and sunk in two minutes. So apparently, Jude/Connor have the youngest LGBT kiss shown on television. This show really made history, huh. They were adorable, they literally struggled to be a couple (since Connor’s dad is homophobic) and then after being a couple for like 2 episodes, Connor’s dad walking in on them kissing and basically blowing up was so traumatizing for the kid that he moved in with his mom in LA to get away from him. They try to do the long distance thing but they're middle schoolers... and it’s their first relationship each... and both of them are just now figuring out that they’re gay. it doesn’t work out. Would love for Connor to come back in Good Trouble and try to woo Jude or something (cuz Jude...???? he’s just FUCKING... ALL the time. Like one second he’s the adorable 12-year-old you just want to shield from the world, and then it’s like TIME SKIP, he’s a college frat boy now and he fucks “straight” boys every weekend).

a cute, low-key ship:

Lol this show didn’t do low-key ships, everything was loud.

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it:

Stef/Lena; because they’re the main couple on the show and yet we as the audience forget that they’re even an option as an OTP. These two are marriage goals. They fight, they argue, they have conflicting viewpoints, but they always sit down and talk at the end of the day, and they pull it together because of their love for the kids and each other. I live for them, I seriously wanted them to adopt me. I’d cook for the family so they would be an ounce less stressed. They’re such great moms and they try SO hard to be there for the kids, who each come with truckloads of baggage and problems all befitting network TV teen drama protagonists.

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened:

BRALLIE. They’re SIBLINGSSSS AHHHH. “But they’re foster siblings” I DON’T CARE. This is not a damn Victorian novel, it’s gross. Maybe in season 1 it wasn’t as bad since Callie had zero intentions of staying with the Adams-Fosters family and was used to being bounced around in foster care, but after bonding with them all and truly believing they wanted her, season 2 onward Brallie disgusts me.

Mariana/Nick. Let’s talk about his actor for a second. Louis Hunter played a teenager in The Secret Circle back in 2011 (don’t @ me but I loved that show) and guess what, friends, he was TOO FUCKING OLD to play a teenager THEN. That opinion stands 7 years later. An absolute creep who traumatized Mariana, the girl had to go to THERAPY. She went to THERAPY because of him.

Lena/Monte. UGHHHHHHHHh this made me so mad. Monte was being so gross and inappropriate, like not only is Lena her employee/subordinate... but Lena is a WOMAN. She’s grown as hell and confident in her identity and has a whole ass wife (a WIFE) and a family to take care of, and here comes Monte with her weird ass flirtations and stuff. She could NEVER. Lena is a goddess and Monte but an ant crawling on the sidewalk outside her temple.

my favourite storyline/moment:

When Stef confronted her internalized homophobia and misogyny during his breast cancer scare and she cut her hair to symbolize her ownership of her femininity. That was POWERFUL. Stef actually had so many great emotional arcs throughout the show; losing her father (who never really “got” her “lesbianism”), her mother’s breast cancer scare, HER breast cancer scare, her fight to become a detective, maybe it’s Teri Polo but Stef is such a stand-up, rigid character with such a strong moral center that watching her trudge through emotional trauma every gd episode was riveting.

Jude’s selective mutism. I remember this out of nowhere, but Jude went mute?? And he had to see a therapist, who deduced his problem and attributed it to an anxiety disorder and advised the family not to stress him out or pressure him to talk, and he went like this for a couple episodes. Like this boy went through so much trauma that it took like one thing, one little thing, to make him shut down. And Callie like patiently waiting for him to speak, and then her seeing her rapist and the only person she wanted to talk to about it was her little brother and he still wouldn’t talk, he just sits there playing video games, and she sends him a message on Xbox Live saying ‘Please talk to me’ and he ignores it then she sends another message “I saw Liam today” and he just looks at her as tears are falling down her face and places his hand on her arm in support. I. CRIED. Even after that moment, like in the next episode he’s still mute and Callie reminds him again that he’s been so strong compared to her that he’s “due for a breakdown” and not to feel any pressure to talk before he’s ready, and they fucking plant flowers together for Lena (I’m covering my mouth with one hand to keep from crying, I’m getting old feels. Remember when we used to say ‘feels’?). Ok I’m done.

Ok the storyline where Brandon is caught cheating for people on the SATs and won’t be able to go to Juilliard was POWERFUL. I loved that Brandon and Lena had a lot of bonding moments, and Lena was honest with Brandon in a way no one else was, she was like these are the consequences of your actions. You had decisions to make and you made the bad decisions every time, and now you’re here. Remember when you selling fake IDs for that dealer ended with your hand getting smashed so you can’t play classical music any more? Did you learn from that? Clearly not. POWERFUL. Lena scalped me on that day.

a storyline that never should have been written:

Most of Brandon’s storylines lmao. Him selling the fake IDs, him taking SATs for other students, him dating that 21+ woman with a kid and deciding he has to drop out of school and get a full time job to take care of her??? I love how Stef had to pull him aside and tell him “You’re Captain Save-A-Ho! And I know this because you got your Save-A-Ho gene from me!!” Brandon was MESSY. Despite being the typically “boring” of the kids in that he didn’t party or drink, he had interest in typical teen stuff, he was also impulsive in the worst way with his relationships and would get tunnel vision. Remember when Stef and Lena had to pull a restraining on Brandon for Callie??? My godddddd, a MESS. We’re not going to talk about how he finally fell in love with the right girl and she fucking dies.

BRALLIE. That bit where Callie didn’t think she was getting adopted so she FUCKS BRANDON, I’M NOT OVER IT. AHHHH.

Jude becoming a pothead. It was really dumb. I’d have been happier if the focus was on his anxiety and how it helped him.

Everything Monte related.

The time Jude downloaded Grindr and met up with a guy in his motel room?? And the guy was a grown man?? And of course he freaks out because Jude is a kid and tells him to gtfo??? That made me SOOOOO uncomfortable, which is why I hated it. BUT, I liked how the moms handled it, because obviously he’s a boy who’s curious and he’s surrounded by other kids—especially his four siblings with their tumultuous whirlwind of relationships—who are constantly making out with this person and hooking up with that person, and because he’s gay... and has this limited dating pool... and his first love moved to another fucking city to escape his homophobic dad... how does he get to explore his sexuality? who does he get to kiss at a party? This was so relatable, so many lgbtqa youth deal with this everyday, this sort of social pressure and FOMO as the cis straight kids around us are hitting all these romantic and sexual milestones while we’re sitting on an island. And obviously Stef and Lena sympathize, but then empathize how incredibly dangerous it was because Jude could’ve gotten hurt, there are guys out there who could do terrible things to him and he has to think these things through, not to mention the guy in question could’ve been just a normal dude trying to get it on and that he was put in danger—and this was the same season that explores how Jesus and Mariana’s birth father ended up on the sex offenders’ registry. It was handled well but remembering this storyline gives me anxiety.

The Jack storyline. I forgot this kid’s name and what happened to him so I had to peruse the wiki and I fell down a rabbit hole. Basically, this is a kid who was in a privatized group home, during a season in which Callie does volunteer work with a woman, Justina Marks, who is trying to pass a bill to reform child social services—only to discover that she wants to privatized the foster system to make money off of them, which of course makes Callie like do a BUNCH of risky stupid shit to take her down. So Jack gets temporarily moved into the Adams-Fosters home, proving to be a very quirky, quiet, sensitive boy, he kisses Jude after Jude’s breakup with Connor? Then reveals he’s not actually gay, he just wanted Jude to be happy? And it’s really fucking sad because he has this bleeding heart and this need to make everyone around him happy because he sees himself as this burden. Then he gets placed into a new foster home, despite Stef and Lena wanting to keep him around... and he gets put in the same foster home with the same man who abused Jude in the show’s pilot—and like the inciting incident for the show itself (Callie destroying his car to distract him from beating her brother > her going to juvie > her getting beat up in juvie > Lena seeing this poor bruised up girl and thinking “she’s my daughter now”). So Jack ends up being fostered by the horrible, abusive man who should never have been allowed to be within feet of a child again, and Stef just so happens to be one of the officers nearby when a domestic disturbance is called in, and when she arrives at the house with her partner she’s like “bruh I know this house” and when she goes into the kitchen she steps on something: a pair of glasses. Whose glasses???

JACK’S. And she quietly lays a sheet over his dead body. His foster father, who’d already been arrested once for beating Jude, shot him in a drunken rage. And CALLIE LATER FINDS OUT JuSTINA MARKS SET IT UP TO USE AS HER FACE CASE IN SUPPORT OF HER BILL.

my first thoughts on the show:

Literally the first time I heard the theme song when I randomly decided to watch it on Netflix in like 2014 (2015? I can’t remember, I don’t think season 3 was out at that point so it might’ve been 2014) I was like oh this is going to be the crying show.

my thoughts now:

I was right. I would not rewatch this show lmao, but I’m fond of it. I did randomly decide to start watching Good Trouble and surprisingly I like it and I missed the characters. I can look back and appreciate how this show handled a lot of tender topics as tastefully as they could, and examine them from a lot of different angles.

Ask me about a tv show/movie/franchise/book!

[backofthebookshelf]

some vintage season two magnus archives theories

(this is 1000% self-indulgence, ignore me)

Dec. 11, 2016 - I will bet you anything that [Jonathan (we always called him Jonathan back then)] had a serious run-in with a supernatural something early in life, and he’s…avoiding becoming the vampire-hunter guy, but only because he’s squeamish.

Dec. 16, 2016 - if grbookworm1818 is not someone at the Institute then nothing means anything / What do we think: Did Gerard kill his mother, or was she turning herself into a book and he just cleaned up the mess?

Dec. 29, 2016 - I kind of wonder if our antiquarian friend has any relationship to the guy in Amsterdam with the coffin. It can’t have been the same person, obviously - if nothing else it’s strongly implied that whatever was in the coffin ate that guy - but for some reason I keep expecting that story to come back, and not just Breekon & Hope.

Jan. 9, 2017 - Can we think of The Archivist as a title with meaning?  I know Rusty Quill uses it to refer to Jonathan Sims the character since the writer decided to use his own name.  But does it have in universe meaning as well?(@fedorasandstuff)

Jan. 11, 2017 - But the real question is…Are the tunnels under the archives also Michael? [Can't get 'em all right.]

Jan. 12, 2017 - Also of concern: I’ve been assuming for a while that some of the factions in whatever supernatural chess game/cold war is going on were assuming that Jonathan as Archivist was roughly on a par with Gertrude as Archivist (actually, I’m pretty sure that some of them are not totally clear on the difference between one human and another, but it amounts to the same thing), and Jonathan has basically just admitted to Michael that he has no fucking clue what’s going on, and if Gertrude meant to leave him anything, he didn’t get it. (Except possibly some kind of protection on the Archive itself, which may or may not be directly her influence.) And we still don’t know if Michael is part of a faction or what any of the faction’s goals might be, except that Michael thinks that “this place” has an interesting impact on things and it doesn’t want that to stop just yet. Basically Jonathan’s just lost a card he didn’t know he could have played, which is almost definitely not good. [At least we know Jon isn't trying to manipulate anyone, he couldn't if he tried.]

Jan. 12, 2017 - And I’m kind of screaming internally? I have a few more headcanons now, I suppose? But mainly, the lightless flame/closed eye cult, seems to have it out for anyone associated with the seeing eye (and also Gertrude Robinson). Considering that Johann von Württembergs tomb and book collection also had the seeing eye as a symbol, I wonder if the Magnus Institute is somehow connected to the seeing eye as well. I have no idea where I’m going with this, or if there is some connection, but yeah. (@flammenkobold) [There are literally two notes on this post, my like and my reblog]

Jan. 12, 2017 - But my strong suspicion is that most creatures in this universe, and Michael especially, are not one of a type, they’re their own thing. But I do think that we’ve seen more of Michael than is immediately obvious. (More to come as I progress through the re-listen, but abandoned houses are…definitely a thing.)

Jan. 12, 2017 - It would amuse me tremendously if the whole of the Magnus Institute boils down to a grant-generating machine for the Archives.

Jan. 13, 2017 - But Gertrude died literally THE DAY AFTER “Antonio Blake” came in to give his statement about his dream about her death…so who filed that statement? Was someone just cleaning up in preparation for the new Archivist and stuck it in a box? Or was someone else moving files around for some other reason after Gertrude’s death? [This one still hasn't been answered, wahey!]

Jan. 14, 2017 - I don’t think Gertrude was… arrogant enough, if that’s the word I want, to believe she’d live forever… unless there’s more going on with her than I’ve even begun to suspect.  But she may have had a beginning Archivist box ready.  (@fedorasandstuff)

Jan. 15, 2017 - [in response to a question about your favorite one-off character]: Julia Montauk. I love that she’s not in denial but she’s coping pretty well – both about her father being a serial killer and about the supernatural. She’s pretty sure there’s something fucked up going on above and beyond the serial murder, but she’s happy leaving it alone, thank you very much, she just wants to get it out of her head so that she can move on with her life. I hope she’s still doing well.

Jan. 16, 2017 - [notes on re-listening] I’m torn on whether the apparition Lensik sees in the house causes burning because Raymond Fielding died in a fire, or because it’s somehow connected to the what I’m referring to as the Fire Nation faction (see also: First Aid, Burnt Offering). / Honestly, Trevor is so damn cool that I’m willing to bet he never crops up again. / Is Jonathan being watched by the Beholders? (I’m becoming more convinced that the closed eye/open eye isn’t two different factions but two levels of the same faction: the bronze versus silver pendant would seem to support that.) / “I believe every word. I’ve seen what Leitner’s work can do.” Which, all things considered, is pretty strong stuff coming from Jonathan Sims. I wonder if it was a run-in with a Leitner that got him working for the Institute in the first place?

Jan. 17, 2017 - I was just thinking about the last episode and making myself sad because John was ready to physically fight Michael over Helen doesn’t even KNOW Michael took Sasha (@regulusly) #shit is gonna go DOWN when he finds out

Jan. 18, 2017 - You know, I’m starting to think that I really like Gerard Keay.

Feb. 3, 2017 - Is Jonathan’s sarcasm his only defense against the creeping influence of The Archivist in his life?

Feb. 9, 2017 - new theory: everyone working at the Institute is a pod person. They hire potheads and dropouts and people with weird academic backgrounds and as soon as they get close to anything real they get replaced by beings from an alternate dimension, just like Not!Sasha. They missed Tim because he was out on medical leave after the attack; it’s just a matter of time now. Martin’s secret is that he’s been working there since 2002 and kind of knows everything and is not yet a pod person.

Feb. 15, 2017 - Although what do they both expect?  To find a tape where Gertrude says “No!  Elias, you Fiend!  You’ll never get away with it!” (@fedorasandstuff)

Mar. 1, 2017 - The new episode has me thinking again about the Observer - the presence in the Archives that Jonathan thinks has an opinion about what his opinion about statements is, also probably connected to the panopticon prison, the nurse who felt the thing watching her when Gerard Kaey was in the hospital, the open eye and/or the closed eye motif that keeps recurring, and whatever it was that caused Gertrude to cut the eyes out of pictures of people on her books. Specifically, it has me thinking about the observer effect - that sometimes things change when they’re seen. This is a major horror trope, although it’s not usually called out so directly: monsters that move only when you’re not looking at them, things that lose their power when they’re seen and named directly, things that can exist only in the darkness. (There’s a nice resonance with the Montorks for you.) Is there something Gertrude was doing that she didn’t want the Observer to know about, or that could only be done unseen? What is the Observer - is it a direct relic of the panopticon (it would make sense as a genius loci kind of like Michael) or was the panopticon built in response to it, or to summon it? Whose purposes does the Observer serve - is it allied with the Institute on the whole, or with any particular faction? Or is it like Michael in that it has its own purposes that everyone else has relatively little to do with? (That seems unlikely to me at this point; I think the Observer is one of the core story points of this season.) Is it watching for a reason, or does it watch simply so that things are seen and known? #the magnus archives #yep it's meta time #i'm becoming attached to the idea that the observer is there for the protection of the archivist #somehow

May 17, 2017 - As to the Archives and the structures it imposes…I’m starting to wonder if it isn’t just that the Archives won’t let them go, but if there is a specific set of roles that it needs filled. We know Gertrude didn’t have assistants, and I’m starting to suspect that that was intentional on her part. But what if the Archives doesn’t just latch onto people and refuse to let go of them? What if it needs there to be a skeptic, and a caretaker, and the paranoid one, and - is not!Sasha part of the Archives’ structure, or is she a disruption of it? I feel like finding out more about where not!Sasha comes from and what her goals might be will be a key turning point in our understanding of this whole mess.

June 15, 2017 - Theory for the finale: Jonathan goes down into the tunnels, gets himself in hopelessly over his head, Tim and Martin come to the rescue, not!Sasha is revealed

June 28, 2017 - I’m starting to wonder if the real division in the supernatural ecosystem isn’t between things that use humans as vehicles and things that don’t? [Hey, uh, are there Powers that don't have human Avatars? This might still be a thing.]

June 29, 2017 - I do like the idea that there are people who basically cannot be fucked with, but then - why go to the Archives? She isn’t interested in a followup, she isn’t trying to process anything, she’s just sharing data. That screams pod person to me: something is trying to get Jonathan’s attention.

[topicprinter]

I'm starting to really hate my business. It wasn't always this way.I entered the teen-young adult streetwear hat niche 2 years ago, specializing in designing a certain type of hat. Neff, Surpreme, and other skate/hiphop culture streetwear brands are my main competitors. After making loads of money illegally, I wanted diversify to something legal, sorta like the mob. I was 16 at the time. I got the idea after spotting a kid wearing a really awesome hat in my driver's ed class. It was sorta obnoxious, sorta feminine, sorta loud, but sorta chill all at the same time. I just liked it. I ended up buying it from him for $20. I fell in love with it myself, it used to be that kid's signature hat that he wore everyday, but then it became my signature hat. I started looking online where I could buy another and even went as far as to ask the brand if they still sold it if I could get another. "Nope, sorry we discontinued that item." I looked around for other similar types of hats online and they honestly all looked terrible to me (at the time, now I sorta like them). Eager to enter any legal business with my stockpiles of cash, I decided to make and sell my own awesome hats just like the discontinued one I loved so much. They'd be aesthetically far superior to the "terrible" ones my competitors were making. Worst that could happen is that I fail and walk away with tons of entrepreneurial skills.Fast forward two years, I've learned about sourcing from China, hiring and working with freelancers, web design trends, DSLR photography, Photoshop, Adobe Illustrator, basic accounting, social media marketing, interpersonal skills, cold calling, cold emailing, cold knocking, and sales. I've sold 4 hats online on a haphazard ecommerce strategy and am in 2 stores as I've been cold calling as of late, trying to get into enough stores to approach chains. I'm at what seems to be a crisis point. It feels like the "make a business around you passion" bubble burst a year ago. I'm not really in love with my hats anymore, I hardly wear them, and could hardly imagine designing any more of them even if they became an overnight firebrand success. I feel like a caterpillar that has gone through a metamorphosis; who I was in 2015, in love with the idea of making my own line of awesome hats that would outcompete the bigger brands and with ton of blood money from illegal activities to spare, is not who I am in 2017. My stockpiles of blood money have run dry from spending $1050 on my first two designs (200 hats) my first year and then after realizing just two designs was too little to be taken seriously, $2500 on four more designs (1500 hats) to total six hat designs. Also, the website and design freelancers cost a lot along with rent, food, and other basic necessities. I'd say in terms of just business expenses, I'm $5k deep in the hole.I've convinced myself to move forward for two years by saying, "Just wait until you have the hats made", "just wait until you learn DSLR photography", "just wait until you learn photoshop to manipulate product photos to post on social media for sales", "just wait until you have 6 hats instead of 2", "just wait until you learn accounting", "just wait until you learn cold calling", "just wait until you move halfway across the country to sell to stores in person", "just wait until you get your first store sale". Now it's "just wait until you're in 7 stores, then you can start approaching 10-20 store chains." But the closer I get to the end of the tunnel, I just don't see much of a route to take or a ending that I feel comfortable with. The ending that was fuzzy and imprecise in 2015 of "yeah, I'll just become a famous and great selling hat brand that sells purely off aesthetics!" is now much clearer. You see, from the start, I decided that cool designs trumped brand image. I thought the idea of wearing clothing to "represent something" was the biggest load of BS ever and that awesome aesthetics should trump a dumb logo on a nondescript piece of clothing. I still strongly believe this and would still never buy a piece of clothing because with a logo that symbolizes "forever fun", "Supreme", some home/regional affinity, and the litany of inspirational or edgy messages you will find as logos plastered on clothing (just look at /r/streetwearstartup). Aesthetics trump all in my mind.But here's the catch-- I don't even like my hat aesthetics now. Hell, I don't even like my hat type all all, forget the design printed on it. So I've essentially checkmated myself because I can't even evolve my brand because I got into this to not have a fucking brand at all! Aesthetics, aesthetics, aesthetics, right? Well that really helped out when my tastes naturally evolved away from a seemingly unsaturated and uncapitalized hat niche towards liking hats of a totally different breed and saturated in the market. And I have no desire to make my clothing brand into a lifestyle brand that "means something" like Neff, Supreme, Volcom, and the other lifestyle streetwear brands out there. At this point, I'm also super detached from my main demographic I'm trying to sell to-- skaters, teenage punks, and potheads. Closest thing I ever was to those when I started the hat company at 16 was a teenage punk. Today, I'm so much more interested in making money (legally and safely), achieving financial freedom to travel the world and do whatever I want. I feel like an adult now and not a teenage punk who'd want to wear the hats I design. It feels like I hedged $5k and 2 years on a short-lived phase of my life.Here's the weird part: I only started having serious doubts about my hat business after I got my first store sales. I had one period of serious doubt after my first store sale about a few weeks ago which caused me to start a second backup venture with shopify dropshipping. After my second store sale I'm having this second period of doubt right now. It doesn't help that for each yes I inevitably get many no's which erodes my already low confidence in my products. The closer I get to the end of the tunnel, the more clearly I see the end game and the less I like. At heart, I'm an opportunist and an entrepreneur first, not a fashion designer. I'm not Shaun Neff of Neff or James Jebbia of Supreme, engrossed in the cultural intricacies surrounding their brand (skateboarding, streetwear, punk/hiphop culture). I'm a businessman, focused on money first and anything else second. I feel like I'm in an industry of cultural snobs, none of which resonates with me so I can't resonate with them. If I go forward, I feel like my attempts will be like Hillary Clinton desperately trying to appeal to young voters-- forced, ingenuine, and ultimately failing. Making money and growing a business gives me so much more of a thrill and feeling of being alive than designing hats and connecting to some "lifestyle." I can trudge forward with cold calls and getting IG influencers but all the sales material I've ever read said to be 100% convinced/in love with what you're selling. I'm at 3/10 convinced. Maybe if I become rich again and I have a lot of money, I'll be back in the same abundant mentality I was in 2015 and somehow like my hats again. A long shot.The other option is that I just throw it all away, accept defeat that this is not the business I'm meant to succeed at, store/sell my hats for $2 a piece, and throw away $5k and 2 years of work, ALBEIT keeping the skills I've obtained. I can go into doing internet marketing or social media management for clients (I already have one that pays me $300/mo, long story). But what if I just focus 100% on cold calling more, get into 7 stores, and then get into regional chains? I've read the book The Dip and it talks about when to give up. What if I'm just throwing this all away at the last moment before victory? What if I just pump myself up to 10/10 enthusiasm while selling, get into more stores, get into chains, and make an assload of money? My first priority right now is making money, and my hat business could potentially make me a lot of money if I somehow fake it til I make it. Somehow I'd have to build a brand over clothing I'm not fully in love with but can make me a lot of money because other people like it. God it's such a messed up situation. I wish I had never gotten involved in this and somehow did internet marketing instead two years ago, but here I am now and I must make a move with the position I have.I'm not necessarily giving up on my hat company yet. But what do you guys think? Rarely do I feel lost but right now I am. What would you do in my situation?EDIT (from the comments): As to demand, there's demand for the product, similar products (like the original I bought) have been designed for years. I just feel like I can't design them or do the niche anymore because I'm personally no longer interested in the product as my tastes have evolved. For example, I used to eat a ton of chili all the time last year, but now I don't eat any chili and just eat a ton of pasta with alfredo sauce because that's what I like. Doing my niche feels like becoming a world class chili chef because I can be the best, losing interest in chili and not really eating it except for taste-testing/quality purposes, and then eating alfredo sauce pasta on the downlow. People still want to eat chili whether I'm the world class chef making it or some other lesser chef is making it. The ultimate question is do I be the world class chili chef if I can't even enjoy my own chili and is it even possible for my chili quality not to suffer as a result?