#i love stirring the pot

[eddiegettingshot]

Theres nothing I love more than psychoanalyzing the interpersonal relationship between people I dont know anything about. As a sports fan I have been doing it for years. I have made up full novels worth of evidence why some athletes dont like each other just because they dont follow each other on instagram. And let me (someone extremely unqualified) tell you oliver is providing some of the strongest evidence of all time that him and lfj dont like each other or oliver just hates bucktomy lmao its genuinely hilarious. We’re either 3 bucktmmy scenes or one lfj cameo away from the passive aggressive emoji ig stories making a comeback

SCREAMMMMMMMMMMM this is my kind of fodder!!! this is what i want the hiatus to be about. made up oliver and lou beef.

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Your comments on the latest chapter make me smile

[ekkoh]

🔥🔥🔥

Do it!! Three different takes!! :>

alright i’m gonna choose 3 random unrelated things i’ve been thinking about lately!!!!

1. i get mad when people have this weird superiority complex because they don’t listen to “mainstream” music. they’re not cooler or better because they listen to an indie cassette tape they found in a new jersey dumpster, yknow? just let people listen to what they like, even (and especially) if it’s top 40 pop.

2. as someone who has a cat, i don’t think people who hate cats and love dogs are “red flags.” they just don’t want a pet that’s kind of a bitch sometimes, which is a normal thing to want. 💀

3. barbie was not that good. 😭 i felt like it was all over the place and didn’t do anything that other movies haven’t done better already.

send me a 🔥 for an unpopular opinion/hot take on something!

[rueclfer]

I need to rant about what happened today (and all my friends were involved so I’m gonna tell some random stranger on the internet 😭😭)

So basically we were in PE and me and my friend were put into this team with this girl, (A), and she already is known for being a bitch and overreactive as hell. Anyway we were playing end ball which is netball but without positions and stuff, and this girl took the ball off her and she got pissy, then she (IN THE WRONG CONTEXT) said touché (she used it in the context of like fair enough) anyway my friend was like “Two shades.” Because we were joking about how she was getting pissy about the two shades of green of the bibs because there was light green and dark green and we were joking about how she was ‘colourist’. For context I’m literally black and we were VERY OBVIOUSLY joking. But she got mad and stormed off court and started complaining at these girls (who are the like popular and pretty girls who were sat on the side) and then those girls were glaring at me and my friend for the rest of the lesson. I’ve never had any problems with these girls before and i swore they didn’t even know my name, and i swear they don’t actually like A, they just love drama. Anyway i went up to A and asked what she told those girls to make them glare at me and she went “no I’m not talking to you you cunt�� and then the girls came over and I asked one of them (S) what she told them and I DIDNT GET AN ANSWER. SHE JUST SAID I WAS TALKING SHIT. I WASNT, I WAS JOKING. Then when they went inside S walked past me and my friend and said “Yous are some bitches man” like EXCUSE ME??? We were JOKING. And then in the changing rooms after, we started arguing as our clothes were opposite each other and it was annoying how she just refused to tell us what we did. Maybe we were taking the piss a little bit but it wasn’t meant to be mean and she just EXAGERATED IT. And we were trying to have a productive conversation and I was prepared to apologise and then even her FRIENDS were on my side. Then she ran out to those girls and then the girls came over and were yelling at me for “getting people involved” and “turning everyone against her” WHICH IS SO FUCKING IRONIC BECAUSE THOSE GIRLS WOULNT EVEN BE STANDING INFRONT OF ME YELLING AT ME FOR GETTING PEOPLE INVOLVED WHO HAVE JACK SHIT TO DO WITH IT. Anyway they told me to watch out. And those popular girls were giving me dirtys ALL DAY. Also apparently I called her small but that did NOT leave my mouth once. This schizophrenic bitch is trying to get me jumped.

You know it’s bad when you have to involve the popular girls because your argument was so bad. Like tell me what I did? Tell me what you told those girls I did?? She’s literally moving up to the other end of the country in two weeks so she’s starting shit that she gets to run away from soon.

I’m not scared of these girls but it’s really annoying when they look at me and snicker and whisper. Like talk about being a bitch?? I was trying to be productive but she wouldn’t tell me what I did 💀💀💀

IM DEADDD the colorist joke was funnyyyy tho omg yall got her mad over nothing like shes being a lil TOO defensive abt it. i think u shouldve been more mean actually like if she wanna yap to bitches abt it then give her something to yap abt!!!

[nathaniacolver]

not to be a downer but what if she's saying "endgame" not like "final result" but like "avengers: endgame"

Katieee 👀

[inkskinned]

as we enter the start of a semester and the dreaded Hour of Making Friends us upon us... if ur ever at a loss for what to say in one of those weird social situations where you only vaguely-know people, one of my favorite questions to ask is "what is your favorite food crime." a food crime is like the food combination that you love that other people find revolting. press them to take it further than pineapple on pizza, that's rote. food crimes is a good topic that has many benefits as it turns out all people are degenerates and also it will give you some cool ideas to try out later in the privacy of your own degenerate kitchen

the other good thing to ask is "okay but has anyone here ever been someplace haunted" bc it turns out if you ask most people directly they don't believe in ghosts, but many people are like "oh yeah i lived in a haunted house. ghosts aren't real tho"

[crushedsweets]

If u consistently choose kindness on the internet in comment sections and dms and content I love you.

[penny00dreadful]

This is so fucking stupid and I'm not sorry. Inspired by this video of the two guitarists from DragonForce taking the piss out of Sabaton(affectionately).

Jeffington: Just ended your whole career on live 😘

Eddie scrunched his eyes closed then wrenched them open again, trying to make sense of what he was seeing on his screen. It was too early in the fucking morning for this shit. 

Whatever.

He buried his face back in between Steve’s shoulders and allowed himself to fall asleep once more.

Corroded Coffin had only started making it big in the early 90’s when they split right down the middle. As time went on they started to drift towards different subgenres. Jeff and Grant had wanted to explore a more international sound, while Gareth and Eddie were happy to stay in the power metal scene with just a touch of neoclassical. 

They had tried to make it work, but the sounds were just too different and while Eddie and Grant wanted to continue on with lyrics full of fantasy and gothic romance, Jeff and Grant had wanted to focus more on ‘the human condition’.

So they separated. Eddie and Gareth had kept the Corroded Coffin name while Jeff and Grant travelled, exploring their sound.

There was no animosity. They were all still the best of friends. Even as Jeff and Grant had settled in Stockholm, where they had quickly shot to stardom with their new band members, Eddie and Gareth made their home in California enjoying their own success. They met up as often as they could, whenever tour dates aligned or they were booked into the same festivals.

Eddie and Steve were godfathers to Grant’s youngest daughter.

He and Gareth had been groomsmen in Jeff’s wedding.

They were solid.

Which was why the text from Jeff was more exasperating than worrying. 

Plus it was like… nine in the morning which, granted, wasn't early, early but Eddie was a damn rockstar.

And he might have lost track of time reading last night and stayed up until four but that's besides the point. 

But then Steve was handing him his morning coffee with a kiss, saying Robin had sent him a link to something and fine. He’d go watch whatever stupid shit Jeff pulled.

Eddie settled back into bed because he could and it was a Sunday.

Sue him.

But he couldn’t decide if he should be fake-mad or wildly entertained because the link Robin had sent opened the VOD about an hour into the stream, just in time for Grant to say “Should we do Corroded Coffin?”

Both Jeff and Grant were sitting in Jeff’s studio space in front of Jeff’s computer with a range of instruments behind them, grinning at each other.

“Oh shit, definitely!” Jeff stood and seemed to think about it for a second before picking up one of his guitars, a bright acid green with black tendrils running throughout. “The most dramatic of the bunch,” he leaned into the mic, gesturing at the guitar before taking his seat again, “just like their frontman.”

Eddie rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. 

“You think you can shred like Munson?” Grant asked, leaning forward and starting to tap out drum beats on the laptop.

Jeff scoffed. “Yeah right. Let me just play at five-fucking-thousand bpm and sing at the same time. It’s gonna be an approximation at best.”

Surprisingly enough the music they came up with did sound very close to Corroded Coffin’s sound. Grant relied heavily on the kick-drum and high hat to a ridiculous degree for Gareth's part and yeah, fair.

Gareth did love his high hat.

Jeff played the fastest guitar riff he could muster which honestly wasn’t that bad. He couldn’t go quite as hard as Eddie could but guitar was always Eddie’s first love and he was a master at his craft. Jeff gave the camera a cheeky wink as he used the computer to speed the guitar solo up, making it sound far more complex.

“I swear to god,” Eddie muttered to himself, “if they insinuate that I do that, I’ll fucking-”

“Eddie would never.” Jeff said, responding to someone in the chat who’d asked that very question.

Grant looked up with a sly smile. “Oh, god no. He’d never. He’s too proud for that.”

Cheeky bastards.

“You know what this needs?”

“Female backing vocals?”

“Yes!" Jeff snapped his fingers. "Exactly. Like something pulled from Jackson’s Lord of the Rings!”

“Oh come on!” Eddie pouted, but even still he could tell they weren’t actually making fun.

A notification popped up on Eddie’s phone.

Gare-Bear: Have you watched the stream?

Eddie: Watching right now. They’re starting on the lyrics.

Gare-Bear: Did Robin send you the link?

Eddie: Yeah.

Gare-Bear: Okay, keep watching.

Eddie: 👍

By the time the guys had hashed the lyrics out, punctuating them with high falsetto points that freaked Jeff’s cats out, Eddie was giggling into his coffee. The lyrics were so comically bad but they were so Corroded Coffin at the same time.

I wear armour and I am sad. I'm all alone and I am sad.  Such a lone wolf am I.  Except I'm not because here comes this hot man who's totally not my husband. Bats and demons and darkness and death. Bow down to me.  Kneel before me.  I am your master.  This is about sex. Oh, look, a dragon! I'll suck your blood then I'll fuck you through the wall. Except I won't because you're an allegory for my husband again. I'll fuck him instead. Every song involves him in some way. Because I'm a big fucking sap.

And then it happened. That crafty wench.

A message popped up in the chat.

BuckyBirdie: Needs more dick sucking lyrics.

“Holy shit.” Grant whipped out his phone. “R- Birdie? Is that you? Stay right there, hold on.”

While Jeff continued to play through the guitar, Grant disappeared, raising the phone to his ear before coming back a few minutes later and whispering something to Jeff.

Jeff’s whole face split into the most mischievous of smiles and Eddie only had time to think oh no before Robin’s face appeared, joining the stream with a tired if not slightly manic expression, all topped off by her yummy sushi pyjamas.

The first thing Grant said to her was “What fucking time is it over there, Birdie?” 

“I dunno.” She shrugged, looking down at her watch. “Like half six in the morning?”

“Oh. Could be worse then.”

“I haven’t slept yet.” She said with a bright smile.

“Dude! Why not?”

“I got into cryptography again last night and I haven’t stopped. Don’t tell Steve.”

Oh, I am so telling Steve. Eddie thought to himself.

“God. What a fuckin’ nerd.” Jeff punctuated his statement with a loud strum of his guitar.

Robin stuck her tongue out. “Takes one to know one.”

“Ouch. Right in my middle schooler heart.”

“Anyway, a little birdie told me you boys need some backing vocals?”

Eddie didn’t know how he was going to get her back for this, but he was sure he’d be able to figure something out eventually.

Like banging pots and pans in her hallway while she slept off her cryptography binge.

Though it was almost worth the hilarity because noted lesbian Robin Buckley happily sat there, singing about dick and tongues and assholes in a high ethereal voice that was then layered behind Jeff's.

By the end, the chat was going wild asking when it was going to be available to stream because even though it was a parody song, it was annoyingly catchy. Just before they signed off, Jeff and Grant let their audience know they’d ask Eddie and Gareth for permission before they’d do anything.

Eddie minimised the video and opened up his chat with Gareth.

Eddie: You wanna let them release it?

Gare-Bear: Fuck yeah!

Eddie: Awesome.

[joostpauze]

every sandcastle eventually collapses

[uncanny-tranny]

Transgender and transsexual people are actually besties. We're holding each other's hands and having a picnic. If you hear anything about us being at odds, it is FAKE NEWS and is trying to STIR THE POT for infighting.

[nymerias-heart]

No War AU

The New Years Ball, 304 AC. An excerpt from Maester Alleras:

“The newly wedded Crown Princess Sansa spent the ball enjoying the company of her friends, most notably Lady Desmera Redwyne and Lady Wynafred Manderly, and was surrounded by many admirers.

It was a joyful occasion that was celebrated by all, except for the Princesses own lady-in-waiting Jeyne Poole, who that very night decided to leave the capital under suspicious circumstances. Some said that her return North was due to being unable to find a husband in the capital, while others believed in more nefarious rumours regarding the Starks.

That same night, witnessed by several onlookers, Lady Arya Stark rejected a marriage proposal from her close friend and confidant, Lord Edric Dayne, the night before he fled the capital…on charges of treason and conspiracy against the crown.

In the following weeks tensions grew between the houses of Lannister, Baratheon and Stark. As the latters loyalty was put to the question.

Three moons later the Targaryen army would first land ashore on Westeros and the War of Beasts would truly begin…”

From left to right, top to bottom:

Jeyne Poole, Crown Princess Sansa Stark, Lady Desmera Redwyne, Lady Wynafred Manderly, Lady Arya Stark.

[mochiajclayne]

Kurama and Sukuna watching their respective vessels interact with their homosexual shounen rival and say silly goofy gay statements™️ like carrying burdens and dying together and/or not affording to die because the other will kill them if they die again.

[the-blathermouth]

Bezel: WHY IS EVERYONE SO STRANGE AROUND HERE?! And what's up with him!?

Mr puzzles in the corner: I've got a golden ticket...

Pizzahead: Oh yeah maybe be careful around Puzzles, he's a swell guy but if you ask me he's right for the ol' looney bin.

Bezel: So are you

Pizzahead: *gasp* Golly gee, you think I'm insane too?! Thanks!

Bezel:...I think I'm going to bed.

[weirdwildwonderland]

The hargreeves siblings poster!!

[wraithsoutlaws]

"Fuck you," he says again, but this time the words are cinched between a smile.