#i love lee minho so much he is my one true love and this show is fantastic

[subskz]

…i lost the tag limit war

the reader changing the subject the instant she feels seen by minho is such a subtle but valuable hint that i think says a lot abt the type of person she is, that moment really stood out to me! i know i literally just said this but right down to every minute detail, you've characterized both lino and the reader so masterfully it has to be the most enjoyable aspect of this story for me...and on top of that i just love how you write their conversations so much, they’re both such lil nerds…my intellectually stimulating smarties debating w each other even now 🥰 it all feels so comfortable and natural and draws me into their relationship w such ease!

their discussion abt colors is hands down one of my favorite scenes in all of invisible thread!! it's such an oddly heartwarming conversation and that perfect, out-of-the-box way of thinking that’s just so undeniably minho...it almost reminds me of synesthesia how he describes feelings through color! "the very essence of our humanity" "the orange that paints the sky when the sun is about to dip into the ocean" the way you embodied each colors through emotions/experiences was so wonderfully done, i understood each one instantly like it was a picture being visualized before my eyes. it makes it even more touching that minho and the reader come to understand each other on a whole new level through that way of communicating their moods <3 and for some reason when he gives the example "i feel like that moss green that no one seems to pay attention to" that really tugged at my heartstrings ㅠ it almost feels like he isnt just giving a hypothetical there, like he's giving a small glimpse into his true feelings without saying it outright. maybe he feels invisible deep down, too

them falling asleep together on facetime was so soft and tender ㅠㅠ leave it to lino to ramble abt sous-vide as a bedtime story and complain abt getting SCAMMED lmao the way that is actually smth he would say 😭 "he closes his eyes, thinking that maybe he just found the silence you talked about earlier on" this line got me so good ): it seems at first that he's bringing the reader peace but she's bringing him peace in her own way as well...her feelings abt his eyes changing from fear to longing is such a lovely detail and HER COMPLIMENTING THEM!!! HIS STUNNED REACTION </3 "this is the first genuine compliment he's ever received" oh my god does my moss green theory actually have any merit.....does he really feel invisible to the world too...do not do this to me sahar ㅠㅠ but the way he thinks such lovely, adoring things abt the reader in that moment but instead of voicing them he whines abt being hungry....so endearing and so HIM i cant get enough of how youve written minho here ur singlehandedly reminding me why he is allegedly the love of my life

the kintsugi mention made my heart leap in my chest!!! "when you look at that vase, you know it was once broken, but it doesn't take away from its beauty" please...that sentence in itself is so moving when you apply it to the context of what the reader has been through her whole life, not just a single crack but repeated breakages. and for it to come from someone like minho; it feels like exactly what the reader needs to hear to truly begin to heal herself...he doesn't coddle her but is still so gentle, putting things into perspective like nobody else can w his unique worldview and mental strength ㅠㅠ and i think i just lost my mind realizing that this scene loops right back to the clay comparison you drew at the beginning of the story oh my GOD....the reader is like a clay pot molded by her mother, broken in places and repaired over and over to create smth still damaged but just as valuable...and lino is the gold filling in the cracks....sahar you are INSANE for this one im kissing ur brain and tucking it gently into bed

the scene w minho in the rain 😞 i was not prepared to see my meow meow upset...but i love the way you wrote it so much. how oddly quiet he is, even to the point where he's not commenting in class or teasing her, and that's the key detail that lets the reader know smth's off w him...i also love that nothing in particular caused his low mood. it's such a human quality, and he allows himself to be human and feel his feelings until they pass. "he knew his emotions would regulate themselves" i cant explain why this line stood out to me so much i really love it, i think it's just such a shining example of minho's mindset...not necessarily optimistic, but practical enough to not be completely swamped by the darkness either. it creates such an interesting contrast to the reader's personality to see how they both handle their emotions, w her pushing hers away and him letting them run their course. but the fact that he typically tries to retreat into himself until he feels better, yet strangely enough, he doesn't mind it as much as he'd expect when the reader catches him in a vulnerable state...my babies ㅠ i also really loved the part where he uses her shower and thinks abt the scent of her soap as he washes up, it's so so sweet n intimate i'm such a sucker for things like that ): there are so many small things minho notices abt her like it's the most natural thing in the world, they're both so attentive of one another

"you were both just trying to make it through the day" and "he knew he wasn't invisible. at least not to you" were critical hits to my heart...it feels like a breakthrough in their relationship—the first time the reader truly truly sees minho, all sides of him, and she accepts them all without question <3

the gradual progression of their friendship is so gratifying to read bc of how organically you made it all flow together!! i adore the entire sequence that shows us how they start to care for each other more and more…the casual intimacy of the reader applying her lip tint to his lips (and him not studying for his quiz on purpose 😭💗 come ON) lino worrying abt her eating enough, the reader tying his bangs out of his eyes, complimenting him so matter-of-factly, and him BLUSHING ALL OVER THE PLACE it’s so over for me x2 they are so tender in their actions even when they tease each other nonstop. it all leads up so perfectly to the point in the story where minho finds himself being drawn to her apartment without even realizing it when he doesn't feel well. the subtle shift from him initially trying to shut her out bc he's so used to managing his bad days on his own, to him eventually leaning in to her kindness and seeking her company instead...and the way she just understands what he needs immediately, allows him to sit in silence and simply exist in peace next to her. describing his mood as "too much of every color" really struck a chord w me as well...i'm just so so in love w the running theme of colors you included throughout this story, it's such a brilliant way to put emotions into words <3

the lil parallels here n there from the beginning of their relationship until now are so cute as well; how lino makes breakfast for her the first time and leaves before she wakes up, but this time, he promises to stay and eat with her...to not be invisible ㅠㅠ i think what's making me craziest of all is how they're both so hyperaware of each other's touch. like when their shoulders brushed while sharing the reader's umbrella, how the reader suddenly finds it difficult to concentrate on her book when lino holds her wrist as she shields him from the sunlight...and little does she know it's the exact same for him too, like when she rested her head on his thigh and all he could focus on was the sensation of her hair tickling him 😭 they are so enamored w each other and have become so tangled up in each other little by little...they don't even fully realize it yet but they've made a permanent place in each other's lives now

"you were already on the other side, you realize. his eyes pulled you in and you were stuck in there, swimming in a pool of honey" oh my GOD!!! ㅠㅠㅠㅠ her feelings abt minho's eyes changing from fear, to longing, to at last the comfort of getting to see the other side of those black holes...this line hit me like a truck it might be my favorite from the entire fic ㅠ i have a feeling i'll be saying that abt many more lines to come when you verbalize things in the most poetic ways imaginable heheh but this one truly got me so good, the delicacy in which you describe minho makes the reader's growing affection for him all the more heart-fluttering~

minho hesitating to wipe her tears )): the way he's so careful abt touching her in any unwarranted way bc he can sense that she shies away from skinship is so devastatingly sweet...and then him pinching her right after to make her stop crying NEVERMIND I CANT STAND HIM ACTUALLY. but the way he consoles her is so endearing and so so minho...very simple and sincere, he knows her well enough to immediately figure out the best way to take her mind off of the issue instead of dwelling on it. "you didn't care what shape he was in, you just needed him to be in it" i've already pointed out so many lines oh my god i'm so sorry but each one is like another arrow through my heart ㅠㅠ i feel like this sentence is such a perfect testament to the reader and lino's relationship; they've both seen each other at their best and worst and it doesn't change anything abt their feelings, they care for each other unconditionally 😞 also the reader being afraid of physical touch bc she craves it is SO heartbreaking but so raw...i think it aligns so well w her past bc she's so used to either being invisible, or only being perceived negatively when she is perceived. it makes perfect sense how terrifying she'd find it to bare herself to minho when her whole life she's been deprived of genuine affection...you've really done such a phenomenal job of characterizing both her and lino i cant say it enough!

now...the entire final scene...where do i even begin...i had a feeling the climax of the story was going to hurt but not like this ㅠㅠ the reader's inner turmoil as she debates reaching out to her mother again, that conflicting mix of hating her yet somehow still missing her...it's such an inexplicable and confusing feeling for ppl who have experienced that kind of neglect but so so real and you captured it so candidly. it really added a whole new layer to the reader's humanity, for her to be unable to completely let go of their relationship no matter how painful it is to hold on to...for her to cling to the hope that maybe she could be worth smth to her mother if she did everything right ): i genuinely had the exact same reaction as her when you revealed that her mother had deleted her phone number...it felt precisely like a bucket of ice cold water to the head. the reader trying to pinpoint the exact moment in time where her mother stopped loving her was what really crushed me most...what a heart-wrenching sentence ㅠㅠ the fact that she's tried to hard to find solace in other places and people and tried to grow into her own person after entering university, but even so, those marks left from her childhood are still there...a vase full of cracks 💔 as much as it hurts to read, i love that you included this bump in the road of her healing journey and made a point to highlight that healing isn't linear

and minho 😭😭😭😭😭 the way he handled the reader's outburst is so touching...the way he's immediately able to recognize that her feelings are misplaced and smth much deeper is going on beyond what he sees on the surface...using that astuteness to put his own feelings to the side in the moment is so minho. this entire scene is just blossoming with powerful lines i can't forget, but i was especially affected by the reader saying "i'd need you and i can't afford to need someone else." it's such a tragic summarization of her in my opinion...how she went her whole life being unable to rely on anyone but herself, so the moment she's faced w minho, all her instincts say to reject it no matter how badly she craves that intimacy ㅠㅠ and lino saying "i'll be by your side for as long as you'll have me" is such a beautiful declaration of love...it's so selfless and unconditional, and it fits so seamlessly w how their relationship progressed throughout the story, how they were by each other's sides at their best and worst moments.

"the world doesn't stop because we need it to" "we'll make it stop" and then describing their kiss as like "seeing color for the first time"...i'm going to melt into an inconsolable puddle over all these callbacks to their first date together don't think i didn't catch the ways you weaved those in throughout this final scene..you made it feel so complete, like things have come full circle. i already mentioned how much i loved their conversation abt describing colors to the blind, so for their first kiss to be written that way, like the reader was blind to the true color of the world until she met minho....i am going to be ill that is so intensely romantic sahar ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

"he was the invisible thread stitching your wounds back together." another heartaching line ): what a way to personify the quiet love minho provides...it may be invisible to everyone else, but not to her

i'm so sorry for my horrifically long comment haha but i'm just thrilled i was finally able to read this beautiful fic 😞 just as i'd predicted, you're a phenomenal writer!! the amount of love and effort you poured into it went above and beyond, i hope you're so proud of yourself for creating such a stunning work!! it's very clear to me how every interaction you wrote between minho and the reader was so carefully thought out and so meaningful to the overarching theme of the story, it's all done with care and purpose and there's smth special to be found in each line of dialogue! it's like you carefully stacked more and more on to the foundation of their bond until before we know it, there's an entire home there that they built steadily together. that kind of subtle progression is my absolute favorite thing. i'm also so blown away by how the reader's mother, though never actually making an appearance until the final scene, has such an heavy impact over the narrative. it's like she's a ghost haunting the reader's every action, every decision, every inner thought...i find it so impressive how you were able to incorporate that effect into the story without us even needing to meet the mother! and i must've mentioned countless lines that stuck w me throughout the fic, but just know that there are countless more i could've pointed out as well...you truly write so so beautifully. so poetic and emotive, but also not so flowery that it becomes hard to follow, i'm truly floored by your ability to achieve that perfect balance! on top of the story being so immersive in itself, your writing style made invisible thread such a genuine delight to read <3

this feels like the kind of story i'll be thinking abt for a long time after finishing it, the kind to revisit over n over bc i'm sure there are so many lil easter eggs you included that i may have missed! i'm positive i'll come back to it many times in the future hehe...but i can't wait to read more of your writing as well! ^_^

Invisible thread- one

pairing : minho x reader

genre : university au, academic rivals to lovers (rivals not enemies because they respect each other), slow burn, fluff, angst.

warnings : reader has a very bad relationship with her mother, insecurities, talk about murder but as a joke, mention of alcohol, reader has she/her pronouns.

summary : Your studies were your lifeline for as long as you can remember. What happens when Minho comes into your life and rips it away from you?

word count : 20k

Author's note : I've been working on this fic on and off for the past two months, so if you do enjoy reading, please let me know. asks, comments, reblogs i read them all and they truly make me the happiest <3 (also i based this off my own college experience, where we study two terms and there is one person on top of the class every semester)

part two

You have always been first in your class.

Not because you particularly enjoyed studying. You simply felt that your worth was solely tied to the marks on your papers.

You never wanted to crumble under the pressure of studies, to hole yourself up in your room for an assignment you won’t remember in a month. But achieving good grades was the only way for you to feel seen; to make someone stop in their tracks and acknowledge you. 

A simple “good job” that you preserved inside your mind, as a reminder that you did exist to other people. Considering that the majority of your life was spent in silence. 

Your mom put a roof above your head and food on your table, but she never asked about your day, nor did she seem to care. You felt as though you were no more important to her than the tapestry hanging on your wall.

At times, you imagined that if you stood close enough to that tapestry, you could merge with it as one. The intricate embroidery would wrap around you and draw you in. And your mother wouldn’t notice. She would regard you with the same indifference she showed towards that textile- a mere decoration, at times a nuisance when she had to dust it.

You always ate your dinner alone. When you scraped your knee, you tended to the wound by yourself. No one attended your childhood musicals, and you patted your back when you cracked an egg without dropping a shell into the bowl. 

You’ve come to learn since your young age that all your milestones, both small and significant, would be celebrated alone. 

On the rare times your mother would acknowledge your presence, she’d unleash a flurry of criticism your way as if she was eagerly awaiting the opportunity to strike you down. She'd toss crude comments over her shoulder as easily as a casual hello, leaving you feeling battered and bruised in her wake. 

You felt as if you were shoreline rocks, and your mother was the ocean. You never knew if she would be like a gentle tide, barely brushing against you, or an enraged storm, mercilessly crashing down on your being. And you weren't sure which one was worse: to be invisible or to be seen and despised.  

That’s why you grew up plagued with self-doubt. You made friends throughout your school years but you never allowed them to get close enough to really see you -you feared that they might glimpse the very thing your mother seemed to despise in you. 

Throughout your childhood, you were like soft clay in your mother's hands- pliable, and easy to mold. And she indented you, everywhere, carved in edges and dips where they should not have been ones. Handled you roughly when you should have been treated with care. And as the years went by, you hardened- much like clay, but her touch remained imprinted upon you. It was difficult at times to discern who you were and who she made you to be.

You tried to start anew when you went away to university; to rewire your brain into believing that you were enough- you exist and you shouldn't prove to anyone that you deserved to be alive. But her words haunted you, they were like skeletons in your closet- but the closet was you. You could never part from them.

So, you fell back into the same pattern of seeking good grades and congratulatory words from your professors. Every A+ you got infused you with a momentary sense of worthiness.

But unlike in high school, you weren't always the best. Your competition came in the form of a single man named Minho, who seemed to excel in every class you shared.

Minho was mostly quiet, but whenever he spoke, you found that his words carried weight. Your professors consistently agreed with his points, and you envied the confidence he exuded. You wondered what it must feel like to be so sure of oneself.

It wasn't until a month into the year that you had your first interaction with Minho. You were in your Constitutional Law class when your professor Kim brought up the notion of ‘Separation of Powers’. You were arguing that judges shouldn’t be included in the writings of law when you heard a scoff from the row behind you. You turned around, raising a brow at the culprit, "Is there something you’d like to say?" you asked.

And in response, Minho smiled lazily, an air of smugness surrounding him, "I just don’t agree." The professor urged him to explain himself, so he leaned back into his chair, eyeing you. "Judges are the ones who practice the law every day, and sometimes they find that none of the written texts fit their case. If they get involved in lawmaking, they can help address those gaps or uncertainties." 

"Who's to say that those judges aren’t biased or politically motivated? They’ll end up writing laws to fit their own preferences," you pointed out, raising an eyebrow at him. "We elect judges to interpret and apply laws, not make them. If they start writing laws too, we'll be violating the separation of powers between the legislative and judicial branches. That's what keeps our entire system from crumbling."

Minho rested his chin on his hand, tapping his cheek thoughtfully with his index finger. "Aren’t legislators prone to biases too? Your point doesn’t stand then," he challenged, tilting his head to the side, "and judges can participate without going overboard. They can provide input on proposed laws without actually drafting them. That way, we ensure that the laws are crafted with a clear understanding of how they'll be put into practice." 

"If your main concern is to ensure that the laws are impartial, we have people who work as consulting experts whose job is exactly that," you flashed him an innocent smile, firing back. "Also, wouldn’t these overstepping branches put the judges in a position to be perceived in a bad light? Is that what you want?"

Before Minho could respond, Mr. Kim intervened, putting an end to your debate, "Let's save this energy for your essays and see who can convince me more."

You gave a quick nod, swiveling in your seat without a backward glance. However, you could sense Minho’s gaze penetrating through your back- as if he was trying to read your most intimate thoughts. 

That was the first thing you noticed about Minho when he walked over to you. His eyes were brown, not a special color by any means. But they held a certain depth to them that seemed to draw you in like a black hole. You weren't sure what you would find on the other side, nor did you have any desire to find out.

He outstretched his hands towards you, stopping you in your tracks. "Minho," he introduced and your hand met his in a firm grip. The second thing you noticed about him was the coldness of his hand, as it wrapped tightly around your palm. 

Suddenly you were taken back to when you built a snowman for the first and last time. You were just seven and the ice was freezing, numbing your fingers as you worked. Your mother never told you that you should’ve worn mittens, or a thick jacket to fight off the cold when she saw you walking out of the house. The memory of your cold hands and the horrible illness that followed still left a bitter taste in your mouth, like an unripe fruit. With a jolt you dropped his hand, forcefully pulling yourself away from that memory. 

"Yn," you said back, and he smiled to himself, repeating your name slowly, each syllable dripping from his tongue.  

"We'll see who'll write the best essay, right?" he asked, clearly challenging you. There was a gleam of excitement in his eyes that reminded you of a child gazing up at cotton candy. 

That was the third thing you noticed about Minho; how expressive his eyes were. They moved with his every word, punctuating them. 

He was infuriating but also amusing. You've never had a clear competitor in your life. Or maybe you had, but you didn't notice them. You were always so reclined on yourself, trying to survive the day, you didn't pay enough attention to your surroundings.

"You want to compete with me?" You asked, and he smirked, leaning against the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. "What? Scared you’d lose?"

"Please." You rolled your eyes at his taunting, "Don’t come crying when I win."

"We’ll see about that!" He shouted after you as you walked ahead, leaving him behind.

This essay was insignificant. A simple way for your professor to assess your knowledge and work approach. And yet, you found yourself staying up all night to complete it. There was no way you were going to let Minho take this one thing from you.

Who were you if not the best in your studies? You were deathly afraid to find out. 

Later on that week, the professor handed you your grade back, 98%. You turned around to show Minho your mark, and so did he. You surpassed him, only by mere percents. "I told you so," you smiled cheekily and he pouted, holding a hand to his heart as if your grade wounded him.

"I'll beat you next time", he mouthed and you chuckled, "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

✹✹✹

The first time you studied with Minho was in a cat café near campus, called Limbo, about two weeks after your initial interaction. You stumbled upon it serendipitously while strolling through your university town. You couldn’t study at home, since you were easily distracted in there, and the eerie silence of libraries often left you unsettled.

Limbo, however, offered the perfect middle-ground: it was calm, not overly crowded, and the buzzing of the coffee machine blended harmoniously with the occasional mewls of cats, which helped you concentrate better. 

You were sitting in a secluded corner table at the café's back, a sleeping black cat comfortably nestled in your lap when you sensed a shadow loom over you. You glanced up quickly to find Minho. He was clad in a grey hoodie sporting a bunny holding up its middle finger. You had to bite your cheek to suppress a grin at his clothing attire.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. 

"You know for someone smart you sure ask stupid questions," you remarked, already looking down at the papers scattered in front of you.

He huffed, taking a seat at the table right next to yours, "I can’t believe that of all places you’ve found this café to study in."

"My apologies, am I disturbing you, your highness?" You asked sarcastically, and in retort, Minho mimicked your words in a high-pitched tone. You threw the pillow right next to you at his head, and Minho swiftly ducked, easily avoiding it. He chuckled loudly while you glared at his laughing figure. That was the end of your conversation that day. 

From that moment forward, it became a routine for the two of you to study at Limbo, every Saturday, without fault. You didn’t explicitly plan on it, but it seemed that both of you found it comforting to work there. And you could also tell that, unlike you, it wasn’t Minho’s first time coming to Limbo. He was friends with the owner, a sweet middle-aged man who offered you pastries whenever you stayed there until closing. The cats seemed to know him too, they mewled at his feet whenever he entered and he always greeted them with a soft smile on his face. 

You didn’t talk much in those unofficial study sessions, the both of you were consumed by your own work. But you’d steal quick glances at him every now and then, the sight of him so concentrated only fueled you to work harder.

Admittedly, your competition left you feeling anxious for days on end at first. Each time Minho came out on top, you’d found yourself losing your grip. Your studies have been the one anchor keeping you afloat your entire life, and now, Minho was ripping it carelessly away from you. So, you resented him- you were human after all.

But then, you realized that Minho’s taunting wasn’t malicious. He wasn’t competing with you to hurt you, he was doing it for amusement only.

You've slowly started to learn that despite his relentless teasing, Minho had a gentle aura surrounding him. Glimpses of which occasionally emerged like rays of sunshine piercing through a thick cloud cover.

True, he chuckled when you accidentally bumped your head on the table while retrieving a fallen pen. Yet, you also noticed how he began to cover the table's corners with his hand whenever you bent down. He swiftly retracted his hand, seemingly believing you didn't notice, but you did.

During class presentations, he deliberately prepared challenging questions for you, urging you to study twice as hard to ensure no stone was left unturned. Yet, whenever the professor praised your performance, Minho offered a subtle thumbs-up as a gesture of support. He winked at you each time he got the right answer and you didn’t. However, when he noticed you struggling with a particular subject, he scooted closer and patiently explained it to you. He got up before you could thank him, swatting his arm in the air as if he didn’t do anything of significance. 

To show your appreciation, you bought him a drink that day he helped you—a simple gesture that sparked an ongoing game of "win a bet, get free food". You bet on who would receive the first mark on an assignment or who would finish an essay first- anything to further deepen the competition between you.

That's how you came to know that he loved puddings, among other things.

Curiously, as the months went by, your mind began to retain these little details about him. How his eyelashes fluttered like butterfly wings when he blinked repeatedly during your conversations. How he glanced at the ceiling when lost in deep thought as if he was waiting for the answers to descend from the sky. Or how his lips take on the shape of an "o" while thinking of his response during one of your many debates. But you supposed that it was natural to take notice of such things when you spend countless Saturday afternoons with the same person.

You were still studying for someone else, in the sense that each time you stayed up working, it was solely to prove your worth to Minho. But at least unlike your mother, Minho's words never haunted you at night.

✹✹✹

Just like that, four months have gone by since you joined your university as a law major. It was nearing finals week and you were preparing it at Limbo. Minho was naturally present too, at his usual table right next to yours.

On the last weekend before the beginning of your finals, you were head-deep into your Criminal Law documents when Minho abruptly got up from his seat and settled in the chair in front of you.

"Yn," he whispers and you glance at him, "What?" 

"I have an idea."

"Keep it to yourself," you grin sarcastically, only for him to pick up your spoon and move it around in a threatening manner.

"Are you trying to scare me with a spoon?" you chuckle in disbelief.

 "Anything can be a weapon if you use enough force."

"Okay… that was creepy. What do you want?"

"The end of the first term is coming up. So, to celebrate our little rivalry-"

"It's not a rivalry if I’m always winning," you cut him off.

"Yeah, that’s why I have a fridge full of pudding."

"But-"

"Anyways, how about the top of the class takes the other out for dinner? A fancy one." He suggests, his gaze fixed on you.

"No, thank you. I already see you enough in classes."

"Didn’t think you wouldn’t up for a bet. Guess I was wrong," he remarks, a cheeky smile drawn on his lips. He knows you couldn’t possibly say no now.  

"Fine," you roll your eyes at his proud expression. "Prepare your wallet." 

"Mm, sure," he responds, before rising from his seat once more.

That day, you both lost track of time as you studied in Limbo until it closed down. When you finally stepped outside, stretching your tired limbs, you were met with the sight of falling snowflakes.

"Nooo, go away. I don't want to watch the first snow with you," Minho whines, referring to the superstition that watching the first snowfall with someone could spark love between the two of you. 

"As if I could ever love you," you laugh at the ridiculous idea, "that’d just be signing a death warrant."

You resume walking towards your apartment when suddenly something freezing and hard hits your back with enough force to make you stagger. Turning around slowly, you find Minho erupting in laughter, his body filled with uncontainable joy. He’s jumping and clapping excitedly, and for a fleeting moment, you can’t decide if your shock was from the impact or from how beautiful happiness looks on him. 

Snapping out of your daze, you swiftly retaliate by scooping up a handful of snow and hurling it at him. "Now you are cold too!" you shout, while he’s still laughing uncontrollably. 

Thus begins an impromptu snowball fight between the two of you. Unsurprisingly, you’re being competitive in this too, trying your best to strike each other before the other could recover. But Minho draws nearer to you, and in your desperation to win, you fall to the ground when he throws a snowball at your chest, gasping as if you’re in pain.

"Shit, did I hurt you?" Minho quickly kneels in front of you, concern evident in his voice. It surprises you for a moment- how worried he seems at the prospect of causing you pain.

But you shake that thought off and push him down to the ground, a proud smile on your face. In his fall, Minho instinctively reaches for you to steady himself, which ends up with you landing on top of him. Your faces are mere inches apart, and a soft gasp escapes your mouth at your sudden proximity.

Minho has a mole on his nose. You’ve never noticed that before. 

You quickly push yourself off of him, not enjoying being this close to somebody. "Why did you drag me down with you?" you grumble, shaking off the snow from your hair.

"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes," he cheekily stuck out his tongue, and you respond with the same childlike gesture before the both of you burst into loud laughter. The sound reverberates through your entire being, and it echoes in your mind long after the two of you go your separate ways.  

As you lay in bed that night, ready to drift off to sleep, a quiet realization dawns on you. This was the first time you've touched snow in since your childhood incident.

That unpleasant memory didn't cross your mind once. Instead, all you thought about was Minho’s infectious laughter, and the surprising warmth it stirred within you.

✹✹✹

You came first in your grade this semester.

True to his words, Minho texted you the name of the restaurant where you’d both meet to celebrate your win. As you got ready for your outing, you couldn’t help the nerves creeping up on you. Studying in silence next to Minho was something, going to a friendly dinner with him was another. You feared it would be too awkward and Minho would regret ever proposing such a thing.

So, as you sit in the refined BBQ restaurant waiting for him, you fidget with your hands, counting down to three in your head in an attempt to steady your breathing.

You were clearly not accustomed to existing with Minho outside of the confines of your studies.

"Did you wait long?" Minho asks as he finally pulls the chair in front of you and you shake your head no.

"Are you nervous?" he chuckles at your lack of words, and you frown, suddenly feeling defensive. "Why would I be nervous? This isn't a date."

"Who said anything about a date?" he smirks and you grab your fork threateningly, pointing it at him, "Don't say anything stupid or I will walk out."

"And stand me up on our first date? That's too mean.” He pouts, a hand on his heart and you can’t help but giggle at his antics. You were ridiculous for being nervous. This was Minho, the one person you’ve talked to the most since the start of this year. 

"What will you have?" he asks and you smile mischievously.

 "Most expensive thing on the menu."

"So you are only here for the food." 

"Well, it's certainly not for your company," you wink and he chuckles, his bunny teeth on full display. 

"And here I thought we were going to be civil with each other."

"When are we ever not?" you gasp dramatically and Minho swats your hand with the menu. "Just order whatever," you finally answer," I trust your food judgment."

"I could poison you, you know?" He smiles proudly and you roll your eyes at him, "Can’t you be normal, for once?"

Minho calls over the waiter and places your orders. The food is quick to arrive and Minho starts to grill up the meat, while you cut the Kimchi into smaller pieces. 

"Here," he puts the perfectly cooked rib onto your plate first and you smile at him, "Thank you."

"Eat up, don’t wait for me," he tells you and you nod, tasting the flavorful meat.

"Wow this is really good," you compliment and he smirks proudly at your words, "I know."

Minho places four other ribs for you, without eating one himself. You start to feel bad, so you grab his chopsticks, pick up the meat, and move it toward his mouth, "Open up."

"What?" He asks confused and you wave the food in front of his face, "Come on, you haven’t eaten anything."

Minho parts his lips slowly, and you feed the tender meat to him, before eating one yourself. You notice how his cheeks are slightly tinted pink now, and you account it to the intense heat of the grill.

"Oh, let's not talk about studies, my brain can't take another debate with you," you tell Minho in between bites and he grins at you, a gleam of excitement in his eyes. "If you were to dispose of a body, how would you do it?"

"I think our next celebration will be in an asylum." you smile too sweetly at him and he stares at you pointedly, "Please, I know you've already thought about it."

"Fine. Probably in a deserted land. What about you?"

"I'd cut their bodies and then bury each part in a different forest. In a different city."

His answer came too quickly, and you pause in your tracks, "Should I be worried?"

"You are too cute to kill." His tone is sarcastic and you make a show of gushing at his compliment, clasping both of your hands in front of your heart, "Growing soft on me, Minho?" 

"Yeah, I’m basically sooo in love with you," he replies with a smirk and you roll your eyes at him, an amused smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

"What's your favorite color?" you finally ask, changing the subject.

"Purple."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"You'll buy me purple flowers?" He coos at you and you shake your head as you grab the utensil from his hand, to grill the meat your turn. 

"No. I'll paint your tombstone purple," you grin and he laughs loudly, eyes squinted close, and you can't find it in you to care that the people next to you are staring. 

"What's yours?" he asks when he calms down and you shrug, "Navy blue, I think."

"You do remind me of navy blue."

"And why is that?"

"When you look at it, at first glance, it looks like black. But the more you stare at it, the more layers you uncover. Just like you. There’s more to you than what meets the eye."

You grab your glass of water, gulping it down to hide the way your eyes just glossed over. You suddenly felt bare in front of Minho. How did he know?

You clear your throat, racking your brain for a way to move on from that question. "If you were to describe colors to a blind person, how would you do it?"

"Mm," he looks up at the ceiling as he mulls over your question, "I’d say that yellow is the feeling of eating ice cream on a sunny day, in an amusement park. Your fingers are sticky but your cheeks ache from how much you smiled that day."

"Yellow is carefree and happy."

"Exact. Now your turn, red."

"I’d say that... Red is the thrill that rushes through your veins when you do something you are passionate about, you know? It’s what makes our blood boil and our heart race. The very essence of our humanity."

Minho smiles softly at your words, seemingly agreeing with your description. "Don’t you think it would be easier if we simply asked, what color are you feeling today, instead of a 'How are you'?" He questions and you tilt your head to the side, "What do you mean?"

"Well, you could say, I feel like that moss green that no one seems to pay attention to. Or, I feel bright yellow as if the world's energy is stored inside me."

"And right now, how do you feel?"

"I feel orange, not the ugly orange." He precises and you chuckle, "the orange that paints the sky when the sun is about to dip into the ocean."

"A bittersweet orange, an ending that instantly strings along a new beginning. And you don't have time to rest."

Minho places his chin on his palm, eyeing you curiously, "Is that what you want? To rest?"

"Yeah." You admit quietly, "Don't you sometimes wish that the world would just stop, for a few seconds? Just like in a song, right before the beat drops. That silence, I wish I could live inside of it."

"I do too."

You both hold each other’s gaze for a while after that. You felt as if he was keeping you captive with his brown eyes, and he was slowly peeling each of your layers, in silence, as you were peeling his. For the first time, you think that you and he are similar, more than on a studies level. There was a part of his soul that understood yours perfectly. And it felt good, to be understood, for once.

"If you lived in this silence, what would you be doing?" he asks, breaking the serene quiet that surrounded you.

"I’d open a café that had books. And there'd be a little space, where people could paint. Or do pottery. And I’d have cats in there too." You reply excitedly, hands moving around in the air, you end up missing the way Minho gazes fondly at you before his smile morphs into a smirk.

"Please tell me you won't be cooking."

"Shut up. What about you?"

"I’d be a dancer."

"You dance?!" you whisper-shout and he frowns at the surprised look on your face. 

"Yeah. Why are you looking at me like this?"

"I just never expected it. Can I-"

"No." he cuts you off immediately and you pout. 

"I didn't even finish."

"I knew what you were going to say."

"Please, I won't make a sound I’d just watch. Pinky promise.” He grabs your now outstretched pinky with the tip of his index and thumb, lowering it down. 

"I’d only grant you this wish when you’re on your deathbed."

"Bold of you to assume you'd still be around."

"Death might be around the corner."

"Stop it."

"Close your door tonight."

"You are deranged."

Minho chuckles at the crestfallen look on your face, "I’ll think about it."

Just like that, three hours of talking have gone by, the conversation flowing easily between the two of you. And when you finally leave the restaurant, Minho grabs you a cab and you wave him off with a smile. You couldn't lie to yourself, you had a really good time with him. You liked to think that Minho was no longer just a rival, but a possible friend.

But now that you were laying in your bed, you couldn’t help but curse Minho in your brain. His repetitive talk about murder made you paranoid, and now every creak in your apartment made you feel as if death was really right around the corner. 

You decide to text him, figuring that if you couldn’t sleep because of him, you could at least disturb him for a bit. 

Yn : I hate you I'm paranoid from your murder talk

Minho : Poor baby

Yn : Is that you at my door?

Suddenly your phone rings, the shrill sound echoing around your apartment. It was a Facetime call from Minho. You panic for a few seconds, before remembering that you just spent your entire night with him. A call can’t be more daunting than a real-life meeting. 

"See, I’m in my home," he tells you as soon as you pick up and you laugh.

"It's pitch black, I can't see."

"Just say you miss my face." You can’t see him but you can clearly hear the proud grin in his voice. 

"What's there to miss?"

"Are you actually scared?" Minho asks gently and you clear your throat, feeling ridiculous all of the sudden. 

"There is a tree right outside my window and it keeps rustling from the wind," you grumble and Minho laughs at you. 

"Trees can't hurt you."

"No shit Sherlock."

"Close your eyes.” He instructs and you frown at his words. 

"Why?"

"I’ll tell you a story."

"Fine.” You close your eyes tentatively. It’s quiet for a few seconds and you feel yourself relax slightly. 

"So, I bought a sous-vide machine and-"

"Is your bedtime story going to be about meat?"

"Yes?” He replies as if it’s an evidence, “Now be quiet." You pretend to zip your mouth and Minho faintly giggles, before resuming his story. "So, I was saying. I bought one and I wanted to experience different kinds of meats. So, I bought a 30-day aged one and a 58-day aged one and I cooked them both."

"What did you use?" you ask quietly. 

"Just garlic, and thyme, I didn't want to overpower the taste of meat. Anyways I cooked them, but I didn't have plastic bags so I had to go out and buy them."

"Mm," you hum in acknowledgment. You could feel your nerves slowly dissipate with Minho's every word. His story might be ridiculous but his honey-coated voice compensated for it, wrapping around you like a protective cocoon. 

"And I found pudding there so I had to buy it."

"Obviously," you whisper. Sleep was knocking on your door, but paradoxically you tried to fight it off. You wanted to hear the rest of Minho’s story. 

"And I went back home and I cooked it, then I plated it nicely with vegetables that I sauteed with butter and garlic. Just mushrooms and potatoes, nothing too fancy. Again, my main focus was the meat. But there wasn't a difference between the two. They tasted the same for me, for some reason. And I didn't like this because the aged one was very expensive. Maybe I was scammed. Honestly, that butcher looked kind of suspicio..."

Your quiet snores make Minho pause in his tracks, and he laughs quietly. You did end up falling asleep. He can't see your face clearly, but he can see its outline and he stares at you for a while. You look peaceful.

He goes to hang up but his finger hovers over the 'end call' button. You aren't talking, but your hums are quiet enough that they fill up the space around him. It calms him down, and he lets his head fall on the pillow, his phone lying beside him.

He closes his eyes, thinking that maybe he just found the silence you talked about earlier on. 

You just made his world stop.

✹✹✹

The second semester had just started and with it the return of frat parties. You were excited at the prospect of going to one with your new friend Mina. You met her in the library when you both went to grab the same book. You quickly apologized but she waved you off, handing you the book with a huge smile on her face. She was bubbly, like a human serotonin boost, and she started gushing about how much she loved the author. You saw her again in the campus cafeteria, and she skipped towards you as if you've both known each other your entire life. That was the start of your friendship.

You walk into the frat house, both your arms encircling each other. The flashing lights of the party blind you for a moment, and it takes you a while to adjust to the loud music bouncing off of the walls. But you like it, it was like a shield from the outside world and its problems. 

You feel yourself letting loose in the crowd, swaying your hips to the music. Mina spins you around and you laugh, dancing with no care in the world. It was just the both of you in that instant. 

Mina spots Jeongin in the crowd, a friend of hers that she had an immense crush on. You couldn’t blame her- he was very attractive; his easy smirk and his blonde tousled hair earned him lots of appreciative looks from the people around him. But when his eyes locked with Mina’s, you found that his face morphed into a beautiful smile, that made his dimples look on full display, as if it was only reserved for her.

“Go get your man!” You shout in her ears, so she’d be able to hear you. 

“What are you talking about?” She yells back, but you could see the nervous smile on her face.

“He likes you! Go talk to him!”

“I don’t want to leave you alone. We came together!” She clasps your hand in hers and you smile touched by her kind spirit.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll go to the kitchen to get some drinks. Go have fun!”

“You are sure?” She asks, her eyes darting between you and Jeongin, who was still looking at her, and her only. 

“Yes! Go!” You say, gently pushing her away. Mina jogs up to Jeongin who greets her with a side hug. He quickly glances at you and you shoot him a thumbs-up, to which he grins. You loved playing Cupid.

With that, you decide to head to the kitchen to grab a drink. You pick a beer from the fridge, double-checking if the can is closed before opening it. 

You lean on the countertop, sipping on your drink while you watch the crowd, humming along each time a song you knew played. You enjoyed watching people dance freely from afar, with no apparent care in the world.

You feel someone stand next to you and you brace yourself, getting ready to tell the person off if they decide to bother you. You didn’t have the energy for mindless flirting. But then, you smell the cologne that has lingered around you for the past term- Minho. You haven't seen him since your dinner. That was a month ago.

"Fancy seeing you here," he greets as he leans on the counter right next to you, his eyes fixated on the mingling bodies.

You turn around to face him, faking an outraged gasp, "Are you following me?"

"Mmm. You look nice", he compliments and you smile cheekily, "I know."

"Won't tell me I look nice too?" he smirks, leaning closer to your face. "Someone didn’t get enough compliments tonight?" You pout, placing a hand on your heart in mock concern.

"I did, but I want to hear it from you. You’re the only sensible person in this room."

"You look nice. Now leave me alone."

"Come on, I know you can do better than that", he jokes and you roll your eyes, muttering “You’re annoying”, under your breath.

Still, you comply, placing your arms on top of the counter and leaning your head on them to get a better look at him. He does the same, smiling, and you both stare at each other for a while after that.

The strobing lights dance on Minho’s face, casting enticing shadows on him. You've always known he was a beautiful man; you've looked into his eyes far too many times in your heated conversations. But this time was different, there was no cheeky smirk on his face nor a furrow in his eyebrows. He was simply looking at you, and it made a pool of warmth huddle in your belly. You feel yourself relax under his gaze, everything around you seemingly melts away.

You weren’t wrong when you thought that his eyes were like a black hole, pulling you in. But this time, you realize that you didn’t mind knowing what was on the other side. On the contrary, you longed for it. 

"I like your eyes right now. They remind me of the night sky. Black, with tiny little stars littered in them," you finally say.

Minho is taken aback by your words, he wasn't expecting you to compliment him, let alone to tell him something so special. He can feel his cheeks burn red at your words, feel his heart hammering in his chest. He's afraid you can hear it too.

He doesn't know what to say, so instead he clears his throat, plastering a smirk on his face, "I heard better." He hasn't. This is the first genuine compliment he's ever gotten.

"Oh, fuck off," you laugh and he joins you. The music was loud and yet the only sound his ear seemed to pick up was your laugh.

"Are you here alone?" He asks, and you shake your head no, "Came with my friend Mina."

"Did she leave you by yourself?" He frowns and you feel yourself warm up at his worried tone. "I told her to go talk to Jeongin."

"Next time, don’t stay alone."

“Fine, Dad.” You chastise and he stares pointedly at you, "I’m serious, yn."

You take another swing of the beer before turning your body fully towards Minho. After a few beats of silence, you finally ask a question that has been on your mind for a while. "Why do you say my name this way?"

"What way?" He questions and you shrug, "Slowly. People used to always rush it but you don’t."

"Well, it’s a pretty name. It deserves to be pronounced as a whole."

You beam at his words; you smile so brightly it makes his heart skip a beat. This is the first time you’ve grinned this widely at him, no hand in front of your mouth as if to hide it. He did notice how you were a reserved person outside of class, as if you were afraid of taking up too much place. But he could tell you were slowly unraveling, growing bolder with each passing month. He wanted to tell you that if people like you spoke more, the world would be a far better place. 

But he couldn't bring himself to say all of this, so he forced those bubbling words down his throat. "I’m hungry," he whines instead and you laugh at his pout. "I'm kind of craving a greasy pizza."

"Should we go buy it? You can tell Mina to come so we can walk her back."

"I’ll ask her."

You shoot Mina a text, asking her where she was and telling her about your plan. She replies that she’s with Jeongin who just offered to take her home, so you could leave without her.

"We can go." You tell him and he nods. Minho shrugs his leather jacket off, gently placing it on your shoulders. His warmth engulfs you and you sink further into it. His arm hovers around your shoulder not touching you as he leads you out of the party. He has never touched your body, you note, it's like he was everywhere and nowhere at once.

You both walk to an open parlor near the frat house, and you order a Margarita pizza to share. You sit down on a nearby bench to eat it- the night breeze too liberating to pass up on.

As you both finish eating, a cat with white and orange stripes all over her body approaches the both of you cautiously, and you pat her head softly. "Aren't you the cutest thing ever?" you coo and Minho chuckles as he scratches the cat’s chin. She purrs at his touch appreciatively, and you smile at the soft look on his face. 

"Never knew you to be this gentle", you giggle and Minho shushes you, "Let's not do this in front of the cat."

"Why are you acting as if we are a divorced couple and she’s our child."

"Easy, yn. You make it sound as if you want me to marry you."

"Now you're just projecting," you chastise and he laughs, eliciting giggles from you. He had a melodic laugh, you noticed, and you always felt a surge of pride whenever you made him close his eyes and tip his head from laughter. You felt as if it's a sight only you can see.

"I have three cats", he says softly and you gasp, "Really? We spent all of our Sundays in a cat café and this is when you tell me?"

"I only tell my friends."

"So we're friends now?" You gush and he rolls his eyes at you, "I take it back."

"What’s their names?" You ask curiously and his eyes soften at your question- you could easily tell he loved them dearly.

"Soongie, Doongie, and Dori. They are rescues."

"That’s very sweet of you Minho."

"Most of my scars come from them though," he chuckles but you sober up at his words, quietly scratching the cat's ears.

"What’s on your mind?" He asks and you glance at him. It was scary how well he’s starting to know you. But it was also nice; to be known is to exist, after all.

"I just... Sometimes I wish that memories would leave physical scars on you. Because at least then, you could treat them, put a band-aid on, and watch them fade away day by day. Because when the scars are emotional, you can’t treat them, you know? And someday someone brings up a name or a place, or you smell a certain scent, and suddenly they reopen as if no time has gone by at all.”

Minho stays silent for a while, mulling over your words. You don't mind, you weren't expecting him to comfort you. You just needed to free those words from the mental prison you've held them in for so long.

"Do you know Kintsugi?" he finally asks and you shake your head no.

"It's a Japanese art. They put back together broken vases with molten gold. It represents strength despite our flaws."

"That sounds nice," you sigh wistfully and he nods. 

"It is. When you look at that vase, you know that it was once broken, but it doesn't take away from its beauty, on the contrary, it adds to it. Scars, whether they are emotional or physical are there for a reason. They remind us of how we pushed through whatever life threw at us."

"Am I supposed to be grateful I survived this?" You chuckle lowly, as your hand scratches the cat’s ear. Your fingers brush against Minho’s and you hesitate for a few seconds before moving them away.

"I wouldn't say grateful for what you went through," he speaks once again, "but grateful to yourself. At the end of the day, the reason why you're still here is you. You put yourself back together," he then bumps his elbow into your side softly, "and hey, even if your scars reopen there will come a time when they wouldn’t anymore. Sometimes, it takes a while to be okay again."

This was Minho’s way of telling you that someday it wouldn’t hurt anymore. That someday you’d be okay. And you needed to hear that. You needed to hear someone else other than yourself tell you that.

"Thank you, Minho, I needed that", you smile at him and he grins back at you before his smile turns to a smirk. "I charge 15 dollars for the hour by the way."

"Oh, come on! You didn't even say something revolutionary." You are lying. Minho's words will echo in your mind long after this night- a beacon of light to hold onto.

"Oh, so now it’s no longer ‘I needed that’. Tsk," he jokes a smirk still plastered on his face.

"Okay, Mr. Therapist. I’ll pay for your coffee tomorrow, sounds good?"

"I should have you as my client more often," he winks and you laugh, head tipped back. You were grateful more than ever for his teasing, loving how it wasn’t awkward between you after your discussion.

"You are a good listener." You tell him as you stand up, dusting your pants.

"I’m good at everything," he grins cheekily at you and you roll your eyes playfully, "And here I thought we were having a moment."

You both start walking side by side toward your home when Minho speaks again. His tone is quiet as if he wasn’t sure he wanted you to hear him. "About earlier, your compliment, I mean. I suppose I didn't thank you. So, thank you," he scratches the tip of his ears and you shrug nonchalantly. "It's the truth. You might get on my ass but that doesn't change the fact you are a pretty man."

He doesn’t respond and you tug at the sleeve of his shirt playfully, "You won't tell me I’m pretty too?"

"But then I’d be lying."

"Asshole."

"Pretty," he replies without missing a beat.

You laugh loudly, hand tightly clutching your stomach and he joins you. There is a newfound lightness in your steps now. Unbeknownst to him, Minho just managed to lift a small weight off your shoulders, allowing you a brief moment of respite.

"This is me," you say when you arrive in front of your apartment block, "Thank you for walking me home."

"Of course. Don't dream of me."

"Idiot," you laugh waving him off and he does the same. "Oh, and text me when you get home safely!" you shout before heading inside.

For the second time this night, Minho is blushing profusely at your words. He sighs to himself, waiting patiently until a light turns on in your place to leave.

✹✹✹

It’s been two months since the start of the new term. You still went to Limbo, every Saturday with Minho- even when you didn’t need to study. 

Sometimes you’d just grab a book and you’d both read, a cat lazily lounging at your feet. You started sitting at the same table too; you figured it was easier since one of you always pays for the other. When you have a bet, but also randomly, when you notice that the other person is feeling down and you want to cheer them up without saying anything.

That's why you bought three bubble teas for Minho in a row. He was quieter these days, you noticed. He didn’t talk to you nor did he retort back in class. It was the first time you’ve seen him this way. As if he was a simple shell of the person he usually is. 

You were walking out of your Communications Strategies class, which Minho weirdly didn’t come to when you realized that it was pouring rain. You smile lightly to yourself, grateful since you thought about picking up an umbrella this morning. 

As you walk through campus, everyone around you running to take shelter, you spot someone sitting on a bench, completely drenched from the rain. Their head is hung low and you frown to yourself. They would surely get a cold if they stay there.

But then the person raises their head and you quickly realize it's Minho. You jog up to him instinctively, standing in front of him and shielding him from the rain with your umbrella.

He looks up at you and you feel your heart clench. His eyes are void of emotion and he stares blankly at you. "Are you okay?" you ask and he blinks at your words, as if his brain hadn't yet registered that you were there.

"Yeah."

"You don't look like it", you tilt your head to the side and he looks down again. You have to strain to hear his next words, muffled by the rain and his mumbling, "I don't want to talk, yn."

You decide to put away your umbrella and sit down next to him on the bench. The rain falls rapidly on both of you, and you feel yourself grow cold from it. 

"What are you doing?" He questions, turning to the side to look at you.

"Enjoying the rain. It is kind of stupid that we have umbrellas, right?"

"You'll catch a cold."

"I mean we always complain about the drought and then when it rains, we hide from it. But it's really beautiful."          

"Stop, I don't want you to get sick."

"Well, neither do I. Let's go eat some soup. My treat."

"Yn, I don’t-"

"I thought you were smart enough to know I won't take no for an answer."

"But I-" you cut him off again. "Also, I’m doing this for me because when you order for two, they give you a lot of side dishes. Now come on."

You stand up and he looks doubtfully at you, before following suit. You open up the umbrella again and hold it over both of your heads. He has to huddle close to you, and your shoulders brush against each other. Once, twice. Not that you're keeping count. But your body is always hyper-aware of Minho’s proximity. You also notice how he silently moves from your right to your left, this way he's the one walking right next to the speeding cars. Your hold on the umbrella tightens. You were still not used to those small attentions of his. 

You arrive in front of your apartment block and he hesitates. "Come up, I won't murder you I promise." You joke and he smiles lightly back at your words. Progress.

He enters your dorm and you can see him eying his surroundings. You know that if it was another time, he would have teased you about something- anything. But he stays quiet, and you find yourself missing the sound of his voice.

"Would you like to shower?" You offer and he nods, "Please."

You lead him to your bathroom and show him where the washing machine is. "Put your clothes in there for a quick wash and dry. You can shower meanwhile."

He nods again as you hand him a towel. "I'll be outside."

You quickly leave the bathroom to place the soup orders, and Minho discards his wet clothes, walking into your shower. The water is piping hot, and he leans his forehead on the cold tiles. He doesn’t move for the first ten minutes, too tired at the prospect of lifting his limbs.

Nothing particular happened. But he’d go through days when he’d quiet down because everything around him was too much. The feel of his clothes against his skin, and the sun streaming through his curtains. But it always passes. Minho was a realistic man and he knew that his emotions would regulate themselves. That’s why he didn’t like appearing vulnerable in front of other people.

But for some reason, he didn’t mind lowering his guard with you. He knew you wouldn’t judge.

He sighs, grabbing your cherry-scented shampoo and pouring it into his hands. He can clearly smell you now. The scent of your hair that always tickles his nose, whenever you are sitting close to him. Your body wash is next and he wonders if this is how your skin smells, like vanilla and jasmine, and something entirely you. 

Forty minutes later, Minho finally steps out of the shower. His clothes are clean and he quickly puts them on. He dries his hair with the towel as he walks out of your bathroom towards the living room. 

He finds you sitting on the ground, in front of a heater that looks close to giving up. He makes a mental note of giving you the one he has since he doesn't really use it. You changed out of your clothes too, and you are now wearing a pair of pajamas with little bunnies sewn into it. The sight almost manages to make him smile. 

"Still cold?" you question when you notice him standing behind you, unmoving, and he shakes his head no.

"Good, the soup is here." You say cheerfully, pointing at the steaming bowls sitting on your table. Minho hums in reply and you stand up, grabbing the towel from his hands to place it on the drying rack.

You come back, a soft green blanket in your hands. You sit on the couch and pat the spot beside you. Minho sits next to you, and you lay the blanket on both of your laps, before handing him his soup.

You start the show you’ve been last watching, as you both eat in silence, your legs crisscrossed. You make some comments throughout the episodes. You figured that it was a safe territory, to talk about something as mundane as this. He didn't reply but you didn't mind. You weren't here to have a conversation with him. You just wanted to distract him.

You realize at that moment that Minho always looked so put together to you. But he had problems of his own too. That much was obvious. It made you feel closer to him, in a sense. You were both just trying to make it through the day.

Two hours later, you get up to grab a book, handing Minho the remote to put on a show of his own. You curl in a ball in the corner, reading where you left off last night.

"Can you... Can you read out loud?" Minho speaks for the first time in a while and you look at him. His eyes are closed, his head resting against your couch.

"Sure."

You start to read, and Minho further sinks into the couch. He feels at home here. Because the blanket is soft and the light is dim enough to not hurt his eyes. Or it could be that he smells like you, a scent so comforting he wants to bury himself in it. Or maybe it's your voice that floats through the air, slowly clouding Minho’s every sense. He feels as if he could see the words you were pronouncing dancing in front of his eyes. You enunciated each syllable clearly, making sure that no sound was forgotten.

As Minho gently drifted to sleep, he felt as if he was part of the words you read out loud. He felt as if you were treating him with the same care, making sure that he knew he wasn't invisible. At least not to you.

When you wake up the next morning, Minho is gone. And his place beside you on the couch is empty. He made you breakfast, scrambled eggs, and freshly pressed orange juice. And right next to it you find a note, "Thank you for reading to me."

✹✹✹

Minho didn't believe in having a lot of friends. He was content with the two people he had, Chan and Changbin. The latter was his high school friend, he skipped a year and ended up being in the same class as Minho. They didn't talk at first until the day Changbin dropped a book on Minho's foot. The brooding man started apologizing profusely, and that was the start of their friendship. They've kept in touch since.

Chan was his roommate at university. It's not that he particularly wanted to befriend him, but Chan was a social butterfly and he quickly managed to pull Minho into his friendly trap. He annoys Minho the most, but in an endearing way. And although Chan is older, Minho still strangely developed a soft spot for him. 

And he supposes he has you too now. At first, you weren’t friends, rivals at most. He enjoyed reeling you up and having you frown at his words in your heated debates. He also liked talking to you, because your ideas were interesting and you always gave him a new fresh perceptive to see things.

That’s how he strictly saw you as, an intelligent human who he liked to debate with.

But then he started to look forward to meeting up with you at Limbo. He no longer minded the fact that you took his self-assigned table, from his high school days. And he laughed more freely with you, enjoying how you always had a witty retort sitting at the tip of your tongue. 

That’s how he started to notice things that friends most definitely notice. How you have a charm bracelet you always fidget with whenever you are nervous. How you stray away from physical touch. How you scratch your eyebrow when you are deep in thought.

But also, how you seem to have an obsession with cherries. Your cherry pendant, your cherry-scented shampoo, and your cherry-tainted lips. A friend would most certainly think that your lips are like red wine-stained glass.

He remembers one of the many times when you were at Limbo, and he saw you reapply your lip tint, or so you called it. You caught him looking and he swiftly averted his gaze, but it wasn't quick enough. Suddenly you were in front of him, a tiny red bottle in hand.

"Let me apply it to you," you smiled and he pushed your head away with his pointer finger. "No."

"Please," you pouted and he couldn't help but find you adorable. You sometimes reminded him of a small kitten. But he didn’t dare to call you by that nickname. 

"Never."

"If I score more than you in our environmental assignment then I will do it."

"Fine." he huffed so that you'd leave him alone.

Minho didn't study for that assignment. He blamed it on a headache, not that it's ever stopped him before. And two weeks later you were in front of him, eyebrows scrunched in concentration. You applied the lip tint gently on his plump lips, carefully tracing over his cupid bow. 

Your face was mere inches away from his and he noticed how you were wearing a gloss today, for change. It was shimmering under the lights and he usually didn't like glittery things, but he couldn't take his eyes off your lips. 

"All done!" you clapped excitedly, snapping him out of his haze. You then shove your phone camera into his face so he'd look at the results.

"You should be a model. Your face is perfectly sculpted," you comment nonchalantly, before sitting back in your seat. 

“I know.” He replies confidently, but his hand kept fiddling with the tip of his now pink ears. He couldn't concentrate for the rest of the night.

You were his friend because he always worried if you were eating enough. That’s why he urged you to grab a bite in the convenience store near Limbo, whenever you finished up your studying late.

This was one of the many times you sat on the minuscule table outside, hot ramen bowls in front of the both of you. Minho huffed in annoyance between each bite, his bangs were getting longer, disturbing him when he leaned down to slurp his noodles. 

“Here,” you stand up from your place, a hair tie in your hands. 

“What are you doing?” He questions as you stand behind him. You don’t reply, silently grabbing his hair and putting it up in a tiny ponytail, this way it wouldn’t get in his eyes anymore.

“Voila,” you sit back down, resuming your eating. Minho was grateful for the dimly lit street because his entire face was burning up. Your fingers in his hair were gentle and he wondered how it would feel if you ran your fingers through it. 

This was something friends think about, right? 

"I’ll cut my hair tomorrow," he clears his throat. He didn't know why he told you. You certainly weren't interested in his hair endeavors.

"What?!" you yell, "Don't. Your hair is beautiful why would you cut it?"

"Because it's getting longer."

"But it suits you."

Minho also noticed how you always threw compliments his way. Not in a flirtatious way, but in a genuine one. He couldn't help but wonder what made you this way. Did you so freely give love to others because you knew how it felt to not receive it?

"I’ll still cut it."

Minho returned home; his hair still clipped back in a ponytail. Chan eyed him weirdly but he shut him off with a glare. The elastic remained at his bedside since.

He didn't cut his hair.

The moment Minho started to consider you a close friend, was when you invited him over to watch your show. You didn’t force him to open up that night, and he appreciated it, more than he let on.

That's how a week later, he finds himself walking towards your dorm again. The thoughts in his head got too much, and Chan was immersed in his makeshift studio, which meant he won't be free for the next four hours, minimum.

He didn't plan on going to you. It was late at night and you were probably asleep, but his feet naturally led him to the direction of your place.

He knocks softly on your door. He wasn't even sure if he wanted you to open. What would you think of him showing up at eleven pm? He should have thought this thro-

"Minho?" you call out, and he startles a bit, his feet already inching away from the door.

"This was a bad idea, I'm sorry," he starts to retract back but you grab the hem of his jacket to stop him. "Do you... Do you want to watch my show with me?" you ask, a soft smile on your face and he nods tentatively.

"Okay, come in," you open the door wider and Minho follows you inside. The look in his eyes reminds you of the day you found him sitting under the rain. You didn't like it, you wanted him to find his spark back, his usual demeanor. He wasn't deserving of anything but happiness.

"I’ve started a new show, this one's a bit more romantic, so don't go around imagining me as the main character," you tease and he scoffs at your words, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

He doesn't reply, but you don't mind. There was this secret agreement between the two of you, you would talk and he would listen. He needed the distraction, and you needed the company. Sometimes the line between alone and lonely blurs, and on days like these, Minho’s presence fills the void inside.

You comment on the scenes and Minho hums in reply, you watch three episodes in a row, and your eyes are getting drowsy, so you close them.

"Minho," you call out gently and he turns his head towards you.

"Yeah?"

"What color are you feeling tonight?" You ask, referencing to what he told you on your dinner celebration. That felt like an eternity ago.

"Black." You stay silent and Minho fidgets with his hands before speaking once again. "I feel a lot at the same time, too much of every color. That's why- that's why I said black."

"How can I help you feel yellow?"

"You already do." His admission came softly and it made your breath hitch in your throat. You wanted to open your eyes and look at him, but you figured it will only make him close off even more.

“Okay. Will you stay for breakfast?”, you whisper. You were very sleepy, the soft chatter of the TV and your hushed conversation were like a lullaby to you. 

"You want me to?" he asks, and he sounds so vulnerable you can't find it in you to say anything but the truth.

"I do," you admit, and that's the last thing you remember before sleeping.

Your head falls near Minho’s lap on the couch, your hair tickling his exposed thigh. Minho shouldn’t feel this way, he thinks. He’s sitting on the leather couch and his feet are touching the cold floor and yet all he can feel is three strands of your hair tickling him.

He glances at you, at your now parted lips and your relaxed eyebrows. His hand hovers over your hair, but then he curls it into a tight fist. What is he doing? He thinks to himself as he drags an angry hand through his face. He sighs, before standing up and grabbing the blanket you had on the opposing chair. He gently lays it on your body before sitting next to you once again. 

You told him to stay for breakfast. He’ll stay.

✹✹✹

2 months later

"Yn!" Minho shouts in your ear as he plops down next to you. You startle, dropping the book you were reading. 

"I hate you," you grumble, picking up your book and he smiles cheekily at you, "No you don't."

You were laying on the grass of your campus garden, in between two classes, trying to kill the time. It was April so the weather was perfect for lying under the warm sunrays. You loved spring, it always held within it the promise of a better time. 

"What are you doing?"

"I was reading before you got here and started to annoy me." 

"Don't mind me. Do your thing." 

"And what are you doing?"

"Enjoying the sun."

"You couldn't find any other place to do so?"

"Nope."

"You're annoying" You try to sound mad but the smile on your face betrays you. You started looking forward to any moment Minho randomly shows up throughout your day. Sometimes it's late at night when he's suddenly craving sushi and he drags you with him because if he's not studying then you shouldn't be too. 

Sometimes it's during the day, when he takes you to a new garden where he found the quote "cutest cats in existence". Not as cute as his cats, of course. 

Sometimes it's late afternoon when he just knocks on your door, and he's there with Chan-his roommate who sometimes joins your study sessions- snacks in their hands. You've learned that what Minho doesn't say in words, he compensates by spending time with you. And you didn't tell him but waiting for these moments has been the joy of your life for the past few weeks.

It made you feel excited- like a child waiting up for Christmas morning to discover what gifts they are receiving. 

So, you resume reading, as Minho is lying next to you. You could smell his pinewood cologne and you wished you could pour his essence into a bottle and carry it with you everywhere. 

You notice how the sun is hitting Minho’s eyes directly, and how his eyebrows are scrunched up at the aggression. So, you grab your book with your left hand, and hover your right one over his eyes, shielding him from the sun. Minho's breath tickles your hand and you can feel goosebumps rising through your skin. 

It's as if every physical proximity with Minho made you feel hyperaware of every part of your body, and how he can lighten it with a simple breath from his part. It made you wonder what it would feel to have his hands on your skin.

As if Minho heard your thoughts, he gently wraps his thumb and index finger around your wrist, steadying your hand in place so it wouldn't strain your arm. You suddenly don't know what page you are in, too overwhelmed by the feeling of his hands on you. 

His touch is very featherlight and you are afraid to move, to break the bubble you are suddenly pulled into. 

"Read to me," he tells you and you gulp. You never understood why Minho enjoyed it when you read to him. 

"Like my voice that much?" you tease, in an attempt to hide how affected you are. You were so close to him; it would be easy to slide down and lay your head on his chest. You wondered how his heartbeat would sound. Was it steady, or racing just like your own? 

"Yeah, it's calming," he replies sincerely, catching you off guard. You didn't expect him to compliment you, and now you are racking your brain for a retort, anything to make you breathe again. 

"Growing soft on me Minho?" you say, the same question you asked on your first dinner out. The first time you truly saw him, the first time you felt as if you were two pieces of the same puzzle, just waiting for someone to connect the both of you. 

He doesn't reply. And you sit there, patiently waiting. His first answer came so easily, so naturally, because he was being sarcastic, "I’m basically in love with you", he told you back then. So why can't he say it again?

"Yes, I am." He finally replies and you feel your breath catch in your throat. You try to account it for your brain misguiding you. It wasn't Minho speaking, it was the rustling of the leaves and the singing of the birds that you just heard. But it was him, and now his eyes are open and he's looking at you. Your hand is still shielding his eyes and his fingers are still wrapped around your wrist. And you are suddenly feeling. You are feeling too much. You don't know what to do with those feelings cursing through your veins and you can't face them. Because they are scaring you.

"I'll just... Yeah, I’ll just read," you say quietly, too flustered by his intense gaze. You were already on the other side, you realize. His eyes pulled you in and you were stuck in there, swimming in a pool of honey. 

"Out loud," he says and you chuckle, "Fine, Min." The nickname slips out of your tongue naturally and you quickly snap your head towards Minho to see if he noticed. 

His eyes are closed, and there is a slight smile on his face, and you can swear that he just repeated the nickname to himself softly. 

✹✹✹

You've been so sick these past days, you barely managed to go to class. Your head throbbed with pain and your entire body felt as if someone thoroughly boxed it. 

You were grateful that Minho reeled down his teasing because you had no energy to retort back. He may have noticed how sick you felt and truthfully it would be hard not to. You stayed silent throughout the day, and you looked so pale, you avoided looking at the mirror altogether.

Though Minho didn't talk to you, he still silently placed water bottles and some of your favorite snacks on your desk. You'd down the water, grateful for the relief it brought your sore throat. And when you didn't touch the food, he'd immediately text you 'Eat up', followed by a simple 'Please'. Having someone else care for your well-being felt weird, but it warmed your heart beyond what words could describe. 

You only came today to pass your Criminal Law mid-term, but your head hurt so badly that you weren't even sure what you wrote on your paper. The words blurred in front of your eyes and you almost slept in the middle of your exam, exhaustion threatening to take over your body. 

You fucked up, badly. You haven't screwed up this much in years.

You thought that you were slowly getting better since Minho surpassing you no longer sparked an unworthy feeling within you. But apparently, you were wrong to believe so. Self-doubt crept up within you once again, and the ugly feelings it stirred slowly clawed at your throat, making it hard for you to breathe.

It was one test, and yet it reeled you back ages ago. 

Tears threaten to spill out of your eyes as you hurriedly walk out of your class. You make a beeline for the library, figuring that it will be mostly empty by now. 

You pull out a chair and sit on it, lowering your head down so no one will see you. Your tears are falling rapidly and you hit your thigh repeatedly.  You hated how weak you felt in that instant. 

"Yn?", someone calls out and you curse internally. You don't have to look up to see who it is, Minho's voice has become a part of you- you could easily recognize it between a thousand mingling sounds. 

You don't want him to see you, especially not like this, weak and vulnerable and on the verge of breaking down. So you quickly slip a pair of sunglasses on your eyes, before raising your head to look at him. "Hm?"

"Are you okay?" he asks, his tone so soft it makes you want to cry ten times fold. You hated it, hated how attentive he was to you. You didn't deserve it. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just here to pick a book," you lie, abruptly standing up and heading toward the rows behind you. You desperately needed to get away from him. 

You pause in front of a random shelf and then you feel Minho standing behind you. You grab a random book and he peeks above your shoulder to see it, "Economics? You hate this subject."

"Why are you following me?" you turn around attempting your best to sound mad. When in reality, your heart was brimming with hurt. You wished you could get away from your body and seep into someone's soul to feel what it's like to love yourself.

"You aren't okay," he asserts and you hate it. You hate that he sounds so sure of himself. Was it that noticeable? Were you not fooling anyone?

"I am," your voice is shaking but you are adamant about contradicting him. You couldn't let him see you. What if he runs?

"Then..." he steps forward and you take a step back until your back is against the shelf. His left arm cages your body, but his right one stays by his side. He is leaving you an opening, you realize, an outing in case you feel uncomfortable. Against all odds, you don't.

 "Why are you hiding from me?" he asks, gently taking your sunglasses off your face, and placing them on the top of your head.

You don't look up at him, and he hooks his finger underneath your chin, gently raising your head. When your tear-stained eyes meet his, he frowns deeply, "Why are you crying?"

"it's nothing."

"Yn..."

"I fucked up, okay?! That was the worst test I’ve ever given in years." The tears start to flow at your words and you wipe them away aggressively. You despised crying in front of people. 

Minho raises his hand to wipe the tears away for you but he quickly retracts it- you probably wouldn't want him to touch your face. It was enough that he had grabbed your wrist a couple of weeks before this. He quickly racks his brain for something to do, because the sight of your tears is making his heart ache in a way he hasn't felt before. It's as if he's feeling your emotions deep within him.

In desperation, Minho pinches your arm and you yelp, startled. "What was that for?" you whisper-shout and he raises his hands in defense, "I didn't know what else to do."

"So, you thought about pinching me?" you chuckle in bewilderment and he scratches the top of his hair sheepishly. 

"I mean, it worked. Look, you stopped crying," he points out raising his brows at you proudly and you shake your head at him.

"Remind me to never cry in front of you again." 

Minho grins at you before his face turns serious once again. "Look, you are the smartest person I know," he pauses, adding with a cheeky smirk, "After me of course." Which makes you giggle against your will. 

"Shut up", you lightly punch his chest and he smiles. "One test doesn't define you. You always work very hard. I wouldn't lie to you."

"Mm," you hum and he frowns at your lack of enthusiasm, but still, he doesn't comment. 

"No more crying," he wiggles his finger in front of your face and you roll your eyes, wiping the rest of your tears away. "Fine. Pretend as if this never happened."

"What are you talking about?" he asks as if confused, and you can't help the smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. It's as if Minho knows exactly what to say to cheer you up. 

"Come with me," he tells you, gently pulling you by the sleeve of your hoodie. 

"Where to?"

"I’m craving ice cream."

"And why do you need me?"

"You're craving ice cream too," he says in a matter-of-a-fact tone. 

"Only if you're paying," you add with a giggle and he whines loudly, "I feel so so used around you." 

True to his words, Minho takes you to the nearest ice cream parlor. It's a 20 minutes walk away and you are grateful for the distance because it helps you clear your head a bit.

Minho lets you pick whatever flavors you want, and when you hesitate between two of them, he tells the cashier to put them both into your cup. This is how you end up with a container of 5 scoops of ice cream. You insisted you'd share, and Minho begrudgingly agreed when you threatened to walk out and leave him.

You then walk to a deserted alley and sit on the sidewalk. You didn't want to be around people right now, and thankfully, Minho understood without you having to say a word.  

You munch silently on your ice cream and Minho does the same, the both of you lost in your thoughts. You naturally take turns holding the freezing container, so it wouldn't numb the fingers of one of you.

When you're done, Minho stands up to throw it away in a nearby trashcan before sitting back again next to you. 

Suddenly you feel him gently tapping your hand. You look down to find that you've curled your fingers into a tight fist, so much that there are crescent indents visible on your palm now. 

"Let's play thumb war," he tells you and you giggle at his words. You never knew what to expect from him. 

Still, as your fingers hold each other, and your thumb circles one another, you feel yourself calm down slightly. You play a couple of rounds, and you know he's going easy on you, allowing you to quickly trap his thumb down. 

No one has gone to such lengths to cheer you up, and you suddenly feel so grateful for Minho’s presence in your life. You didn't care in what shape he was in, you just needed him to be in it. Which in turn makes you think how bad it'd hurt if he ever leaves. 

You don't want Minho to leave. You've gotten so attached to him that the thought of not talking to him again makes your heart race in panic. 

Minho notices the change in your expression, suddenly melancholic once again. Your hand has gone limp in his, the thumb war long forgotten by you. 

He curses under his breath, before looking at you. "If I dance for you, will you quit being so sad?"

"Dance for me?" you repeat incredulously and he nods, "Yes. I’ll show you an upcoming choreography just... Please smile?" 

"Okay," you giggle, plastering a wide grin on your face. 

"Not like that you look scary."

"Get to dancing!" you clap excitedly and he rolls his eyes, standing up and looking through his phone for a particular music. 

"Oh and no comment!" he looks pointedly at you, and you nod, pretending to zip your mouth and throwing away the key. 

'Finesse' by Bruno Mars starts playing and you are left mesmerized by the way Minho dances. It's short but it leaves you yearning to see more. His body moves smoothly, hitting each beat effortlessly. He made it look as if dancing was second nature to him, that it came as easily to him as breathing. 

You were speechless, rightfully so. You wished you could build a world where all Minho did was dance. 

"That was-" you start when he stops the music but he cuts you off instantly, "I said no comment."

"But--" Minho places his finger on your mouth to silence you, seemingly not thinking too much of it. But the feel of his finger on your lips makes you dizzy. Minho quickly takes off his hand, a blush evidently creeping up his neck. 

"Let's just go home," he sighs in defeat and you laugh despite the intense feelings cursing through you.

You don't know if you are imagining it but you swear that your pinkies brush against each other on your walk back. As if there was this magnetic force pulling them together. You wondered what would happen if you just linked your pinky with his. Would he grab you by the hand or will he let go of you entirely?

You were too much of a coward to find out. You were scared of messing up anything with him. So, you'd settle for this. Stolen glances and random outings. You just need him in your life. 

"Thank you for today," you tell Minho once you arrive and he shrugs, as what he did wasn't a big deal.

"No, I mean it. Thank you," you repeat, trying your best to convey how sincere you were being. You take in a deep breath, before grabbing his hand and squeezing it, for a fleeting second, before dropping it again. 

Minho is sure that your hand will now be imprinted into his, that the lines tracing over your palm will merge with his as one. Your touch was barely there but it had electrocuted him. He wondered to himself if his body would be able to handle more from you. But he'd gladly burn in your fires for the sake of holding you. And he'd wait, unwaveringly, as time stretches alongside the two of you. He'd wait as long as it takes for you. 

"Yn, I..." he stammers, taking a step closer to you. His scent engulfs you and you shamefully close your eyes, inhaling it. When you open them again, you find Minho glancing down at your lips. You gulp, dazzled by his proximity. 

"You have a mole on your nose," you suddenly speak up and his eyes snap back to yours, an adorable confusion drawn on his features. 

"I like that mole," you continue and you wish you could dig yourself a hole and bury yourself in it. 

"Thank you," he chuckles and you nod vigorously, "You're welcome." 

"Can I ask you something?" he says and your breath hitches in your throat. "Sure."

"You don't like it when people touch you, right?" 

"Yeah."

"Can I ask why?" 

You want to confide in him, to tell him that it’s because you long for it, you crave it so badly. That this need has woven itself into the very fabric of your being. An ache so raw that it scares you at times. You’ve never known what it feels like to be held- it was uncharted territory to you. 

"Isn't everyone scared of the unknown?" you settle on saying, and he nods in understanding. Of course, he understood. No one knows you as well as him. 

"It's okay. I just wanted to know if I ever overstepped my boundaries."

"You didn't," you reply instantly. 

"Good. You'll tell me if I ever do, right?"

"I will." 

"Okay." 

"Um. I'll get going," you point behind you and Minho smiles at you, waving you off.

You walk for a few steps before coming back again quickly. You then grab Minho’s hand, gently squeezing it like before, "You are an amazing dancer." 

And then you drop it, running back towards your apartment block without waiting for a reply. 

Minho stays frozen in his place. You think he's an amazing dancer. And you held his hand for five seconds. 

That's four seconds more than the first time. 

Progress.        

✹✹✹

You haven't gotten out of your house for the past three days. 

Everything crashed around you rapidly, it made you realize that the ground you once stood on was only an illusion, elusive and fleeting. 

You were doing well; you were getting better. But then Monday came and you went out for a walk in the park near you. As you sat there, you saw a little girl playing on the swings, delightful joy dancing across her features. But then she fell to the ground and you instinctively stood up to help her, only to notice her mother running to her. 

The world stilled around you as you clearly saw it- how the little girl clung to her mother's embrace, her embodiment of hope and love. You never had that. You don’t even know what perfume your mother used because she never allowed you to get that close to her. 

You stood up abruptly, quickly heading back to your apartment block. As you ran up the stairs, you ended up bumping into one of your neighbors. You were quick to apologize but they ignored you, and the feeling of being invisible came back to haunt you ten times fold. 

You knew you shouldn’t have done it, you knew you should have deleted your mother’s number when she sent you away to university without a backward glance, relieved at the thought of you getting a full-ride scholarship and not needing her anymore. But you didn’t, you kept her number in the hopes that she’d call. On your birthday, on holidays, on a random Thursday to tell you that she did remember who you are. 

With trembling hands, tears welling in your eyes, you dialed your mother’s number for the first time in a year. You didn’t know what you were expecting. Maybe she regrets it. Maybe she misses you. Maybe she didn’t find the courage to mend her wrongdoings and that's why she never called. 

"Hello?" her voice rang through your apartment. Goosebumps erupted on your arms and your hold on the phone tightened. Her voice took you back to memories you thought you had buried. How you spent countless nights yearning to hear the sound of her voice, how you regretted it once she spoke to attack you.

You hate her. You miss her. You want to hang up. You need to ask if she's doing okay. 

“Who is this?” Her voice was devoid of recognition, freezing you in your tracks. You felt as if a bucket of ice was thrown over your head, dousing the flame of hope that flickered in your heart. 

She deleted your number.

You quickly hung up, placing your phone down on the table. The tears refused to fall. It was as if your body had long anticipated this outcome, leaving only your wounded soul to bear the pain. 

Healing isn't linear, you've read about it in books and heard it in shows and movies. One step back doesn't mean that your entire progress is gone. You know this, you've memorized those sentences. So why do you not believe them? Why does it feel as if you can never be free from the past? Why does it feel as if you’ll always seek something out of her? 

Those questions roamed your mind for the past three days, making you too tired at the prospect of lifting your limbs, let alone leaving your apartment. You sent your two friends a text, telling them that you're sick so they wouldn't worry. Not that you believed they would. Nothing made sense to you anymore.

You laid on your bed in utter silence- a tense quiet that was disrupted on the third day by someone knocking on your door. You didn't know who was there; you just hoped that they'd leave you alone.

To your surprise, you open the door to find Minho, some notes in his right hand and a coffee in his left. He sends an easy smile your way. You don't smile back.

"What do you want?" your voice is cold, but Minho doesn't bristle. A cheeky smile settles on his lips as he leans on your doorway.

"You didn't come to class for the past three days, so I brought you the notes. So, you wouldn't think our competition is unfair."

"Competition," you chuckle coldly, heading inside your apartment, and he follows suit. You start to pace around furiously, and Minho looks at you worriedly. "Competition?" you repeat, the word dripping off your tongue like venom. You turn around, marching towards Minho and standing a few inches from him. "You know what? Fuck you and your competition!"

"Yn-"

"Did it ever occur to you that I never wanted a part in this competition? That all I wanted was to be left alone?" you say, growing louder as you jab your finger into his chest repeatedly. "I never wanted any of this! Do you understand? I never wanted to be this way," you shout angrily in his face.

The worried look in Minho’s eyes snaps you out of your haze. You realize that you are being utterly ridiculous lashing out at Minho, when the one person you are mad at is yourself. 

Your anger quickly deflates, leaving in its trail an agonizing sadness. It's so sudden that it knocks the breath out of you, and you clutch your chest as if it could soothe the burn in your heart. Suddenly you are twelve years old again, crying in your room because you feel like no one has ever loved you.

But this time you aren't alone. Minho is in front of you, and his eyebrows are so furrowed you want to lean forward to ease the tension between them. His eyebrows, you liked his eyebrows, they were arched, and they framed his eyes nicely, and his eyes are brown and so big, and they always look at you softly and why is it getting so hard to breathe-

"Did I do something to you? Whatever it is I’m sorry," Minho panics, cutting off your frantic train of thought. But now, the weight of guilt adds to your overwhelming emotions. You shouldn't have lashed out at him, he brought you coffee and you yelled at him. Maybe your mom was right after all.

You shake your head left and right furiously, your words coming out in hiccups. Since when did you start crying? "It isn't- it isn't you."

"Then let me help you-", he steps forward, hand outstretched, but you take three hurried steps back and wrap your hands around yourself protectively. "Don’t. Please, don't."

"Why are you pushing me away?" his tone isn't accusatory. You've learned time and time again that Minho wouldn't do anything that made you feel uncomfortable.

"You won't understand."

"Then make me."

"Because I’m afraid!" the words slip out of your mouth before you can stop them. "I’m afraid if you ever hug me, I wouldn't be able to go back to hugging myself. I'd need you and I can't afford to need someone else."

You regret the words as soon as they fleet away from your mouth. He would look at you differently, he would find you pathetic and then he’d leave. And you wanted him to leave. But you also wanted him to stay. It was all so confusing. 

You felt as if your being was torn between two great forces, each one of them trying to win the war raging inside you. You wished someone else would make the decisions in your place, for once.

Minho places the coffee and notes on the ground before approaching you, his palms facing up in a gesture of surrender. "I won't leave you," he says softly. "I’ll be by your side for as long as you'll have me."

"Minho..." your voice catches in your throat as you utter his name- like a broken prayer. He stands before you, his eyes shimmering like the reflection of a river on a sunny day.

"Please, let me make it better." 

You nod tentatively and Minho comes even closer to you. He was treating you like one would with a wounded animal, giving you a chance to ultimately back out. But for once, you listen to what your heart has been yearning for. Your bones are aching to be held, to feel the warmth of a body against your own, to feel safe and secure. 

Minho embraces you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and bringing you to him. You slowly bring your arms up and lace them around his waist. You are afraid, deathly afraid. His grip is loose, and you almost can't feel him around you, but when you lay your head on his chest, he tightens his hold on you and you instinctively let out a sob. 

He's hugging adult you, the woman whose heart was once again broken by her mom. But he's also hugging little you, the girl who was craving affection from everyone around her. In that instant, Minho is hugging every single version of you that ever needed a hug. 

You were right to be scared because you don't want to let go, you want to stay in his arms because they feel safe, like a shield protecting you. You can't go back to not hugging Minho. 

The sensation is overwhelming and your knees buckle underneath you. But instead of holding you up, Minho falls to the ground with you, as if you are two inseparable pieces of one puzzle. He isn’t here to fix you, he’s here to break down with you and help you pick up the scattered pieces.

You think back to that night in the park when Minho told you about Japanese vases. At this moment, it dawns on you that Minho has found a way to become a part of you. He was the molten gold binding your broken parts together. He was the invisible thread stitching your wounds back together.

Who were you fooling? It was him; it was him all along. 

Minho rocks you gently as you cry and cry and cry. His hand finds your hair and he plays with it as you sob. He tells you you'll be okay, you'll feel better and you try to believe him, his words wrap around your bruises like a healing balm. 

"There, there, love. You are okay", he murmurs, tenderly patting your head. A fresh set of tears wells up in your eyes. Love.

"I’m sorry. I'm so sorry," you apologize as you pull away from his embrace. 

"Why are you apologizing? Is it because you wet my shirt? I don't mind," he reassures you with a smile and you shake your head. 

 "I was mean to you and you didn’t deserve it," you explain through hiccups.

"It's okay, you weren't mad at me, were you?" he asks, wiping your tears away so gently with his thumbs, careful not to irritate the sensitive skin.

"No. Still, it isn't okay and I’m sorry. I'm so sorry." 

"Shh, don't apologize. It's okay." you look at him doubtfully and he rolls his eyes playfully, "Here I’ll even do your silly pinky promise, okay?" he laces his pinky with yours, but then he suddenly leans forward and places a chaste kiss on your thumb pad. "There, sealed forever."

You giggle faintly as a blush dusts your cheeks, "That's not how it works."

"I know."

Your giggle was far different from the ones Minho was accustomed to. It was small, and it didn't brighten up your face like usual. But he was grateful for it nonetheless. He realized how much he missed your laugh, and how all the other sounds in the world pale in comparison to it.

In that moment Minho thinks to himself that he'd do anything to make you smile again. He'd make a fool out of himself if it meant making you happy. He'd settle for a simple tug at the corners of your mouth, anything but the sadness that seemed etched in your face, as if it was blended into the colors that drew you.

You tentatively move around, before laying your head on his lap. Minho's hand instinctively finds your hair and he starts to gently play with it. It feels as if you've done this a million times before, when in fact it was the first. 

There was something wildly intimate about laying on the floor with the man who just comforted you. It made you want to spill all your secrets to him, one by one, and have him hug you through them.

"Did you mean it? When you said you'll stay?" you felt so vulnerable in his hold, as if he could twist you whoever he liked. But you trusted him. You trusted yourself with Minho.

"I did. Your walls are always up. It's hard to peek behind them. But I don't want to tear them down. I want you to slowly unbuild them. I want you to do it for yourself."

To do it for yourself, it's hard to even know who you are anymore. 

"I want to tell you."

"You don't need to."

"I know, but I want to."

"Okay. Take your time, kitten." he pats your head gently, and you try to sync your breathing to the rhythm of his touch. You were grateful that you were lying on his lap since you couldn't see his face. It made talking feel a little less daunting.

"On my 9th birthday... I was very excited. I'd been on my best behavior that month, trying to please my mom in the hope that, for once, we'd celebrate my birthday. Like a normal little family," you smile sadly, you were so hopeful back then.

"My birthday came, I woke up, excited. My mom was still asleep, nothing out of the ordinary. So, I made my breakfast and walked to my school. I wore my prettiest dress and put on pigtails with hair clips. It was my birthday after all," Minho smiles softly at your words, his hand now resting on your own.

"I got back home and waited for my mom to come back. She remembered my birthday, I thought. And then, she came but she didn't talk to me. So, I thought, oh a surprise party!" you chuckle, but this time the smile on Minho’s face is gone.

"It was then 11 pm, and the hope had slowly died in me. So, in my stupid innocent self, I went to my mom, and asked her "Did you forget my birthday?". And I remember... I remember the way she laughed. Cruelly. Like I had told her the funniest joke in the world. And then. Then she looked me dead in the eye and said 'I hate the fact that you are born. Why would I celebrate that?'"

Minho sucks in a deep breath at your words, and you exhale one right out. It felt comforting, to have someone else stomach the hurt for you. To take the weight off your shoulders, allowing you a few moments to breathe.

"I confronted her about it one day, but she said she doesn't remember saying that. It's funny how it was a random Thursday for her, but for me, it shaped my life." you smile bitterly, "I remember how jealous I was of the way the other kids talked about their mothers. They said the word so lightly. It must have reminded them of sunshine and ice cream and rainbows. But for me, it held an uncharacteristic heaviness to it. I grew to hate the word."

"I drove myself crazy, Min", you whisper and he brings you closer to his body, "was it me or was it her? When did it start? Was it because I was too loud as a child or maybe too quiet? Did I not cater to her fantasies of a kid? I wanted to remember every single thing that happened throughout my childhood, thread through every single memory. I tried to pinpoint the exact moment my mom stopped loving me."

Minho squeezes your hand tightly in his, and you feel as if he was pulling you away from the memory that had long trapped you. You were now watching it unfold from outside of the window, your hand in his, safe from the hurt it had inflicted on you.

"It's not you. It could never be you. Some people are simply not fit to be parents. It's never their kid's fault."

Minho tries his best to keep his touch soothing, to make his voice sound as soft as possible. But he was angry, he was so angry at the world for not taking care of you when you were younger. His heart broke, thinking of 9-year-old you being told such cruel words.

He wanted to turn back time and tell you that you were enough. He wanted to make the pain that seemed so anchored in you float back to the surface, and dissipate like sea foam meeting the shore.

But he couldn't do that. All he could do is comfort present you.

Minho gently pulls you up from his lap, making you sit upright. He crisscrosses his legs and you do the same. Your knees brush against each other and you feel a shiver run down your spine. You didn't know that even knees could emanate such warmth.

"Yn, look at me. The world wouldn't be the same without you in it," he cradles your face between his hands, "You hear me yn? I’m so thankful you exist."

His doe brown eyes are sincere, and it made you want to believe him badly. That's a good start, right?

"I’ll be back," he tells you, letting go of your face and standing up.

You hear Minho rummaging through the kitchen and you take the time to calm yourself down. Sharing those parts of you with Minho felt therapeutic. As if you were healing parts of your inner child. You have never talked about this with anyone before, maybe this is why it still hurt as badly.

Minho comes back five minutes later, his hands behind his back. You raise a brow at him inquisitively and he just smiles secretly at you. "Close your eyes," he tells you and you giggle, doing as he says. He crouches in front of you, and you hear him shuffle in his place for a bit.

Then, "Open your eyes yn," and you find him, in front of you, a cupcake you had stored in your fridge in his hands, and a makeshift candle lit up. "Happy 9th birthday, love. You did well."

You stare at him in utter bewilderment. You couldn't believe your eyes. How could this man be so thoughtful? He was wishing you a belated birthday, to compensate for the 9th birthday you didn't celebrate.

You panic, at the look in his eyes. You've never seen it, never dared to dream of it, of someone caring for you unconditionally. So, you try to scare him, to push him away. You didn't want him to regret knowing you.

"There are things I need you to know um", you chuckle nervously, "When I... When I throw up, I hold my hair, and when I’m sick I nurse myself back to health, and when I have a nightmare I- I hold my hand in the dark. It will be hard for me to hold yours instead."

"We'll start a finger at a time, yeah?"

"It will take time."

"I have time," he speaks easily, as if loving you was effortless and not a strenuous task. You couldn't fathom it.

"You are too busy-", he cuts you off instantly, "Not for you." 

"The world doesn't stop because we need it to." Your voice is quiet; this is your very last try. You are tired of fighting. You are putting down your armor and waving a white flag.

"We'll make it stop. Here, the two of us. On this floor. We'll take as long as we need to."

"I never deemed you as an optimist", you smile a little, a hint of teasing in your tone.

"I’m not," he pauses, gazing down at the cupcake between his hands and then at you. "But I feel that we deserve a bit of happiness together, don't we?"

"We do."

"Then make a wish."

You close your eyes for a few seconds, before blowing on the candle.

"What did you wish for?" he asks a fond smile on his face.

The answer came naturally to you, you didn't even need to think about it. "I wished for you."

Minho's lips come crashing down on yours, and you imagine that this is what it feels like to see colors for the first time. To discover a new world beyond the one you've always known.

The kiss isn't urgent nor feverish, it is one of comfort. Your lips spilling the words you have not yet said to each other. "I love you," he kisses you, "I love you too," you kiss him back. "I need you to stay," you swipe your tongue across his bottom lip, "I’m never leaving you," he opens his mouth allowing you entrance.

As you kiss him, you remember a fact you once learned in high school. The human body possesses seven trillion nerves. And for the first time in your life, you feel as if each of these nerves is alive. You feel that even the smallest atom is electrocuted with Minho’s love and it’s all you know within you.  

You feel as if the pain, the hurt, and the ache you've been through are slowly unraveled, and in their place, a timid happiness is starting to bloom. You imagine that when Minho’s lips met your own, the seven trillion nerves inside you exhaled in relief 'We've made it', they said, 'we'll finally be okay.'

Epilogue

You've always thought that epilogues were useless. How can you resume the rest of your life in one sentence, boil down the rest of your existence in mere pages? Because life doesn't stop at the epilogue, and a new book can start once again, right where you left it off.  

But with Minho, you didn't mind an epilogue. On the contrary, you longed for a soft one. You wanted to rest on this last page, you wanted to lay your worries on the words and tuck them into the syllables. And you wanted to wake up anew.

And this wasn't the end of your story with Minho. A lot happened after it. But it didn't worry you, because epilogues are about the one thing that doesn't change throughout the long march of time. And luckily for you, that constant was Minho’s love for you. From that day he held you, he has never let go.

It took time, for his warmth to seep through your bones. It took time, for your heart to forget the cold. But you wanted to do it. With him. You wanted to love and be loved.

The sound of cats mewling fills your apartment, pudding can always be found in your fridge and you haven't felt invisible in years.

[princehoseok]

not gong ryong calling eve eeeeeeve like wall-e lmao

[haoboutyou]

pretty kitty | lee minho

fluff | 707 words | no warnings

If hybrids exist in this world, you are convinced your boyfriend would most definitely be a cat.

Cats love Lee Minho, and he loves them just as much. Your affection for him increases tenfold whenever you see him tenderly caring for any feline within his sight. He’s the kind of person who would carry extra cat treats in his pocket even when he was only going on a walk around the neighbourhood. He prepares Soonie, Doongie and Dori’s food bowls with such immense attention to detail every mealtime, and the cats have made a habit of eagerly waiting for him to come home to the door every evening. And your personal favourite: how gentle he is with his cats, always talking to them in soft voices; that’s how much he loved and adored them.

Naturally, you’ve noticed that your boyfriend seems to have picked up on some of his fur children's habits. His jaw widens first when he yawns, eyes forming into the cutest crescent moons as he does so. He shies away from physical touch, but bumps his head on your shoulder when he craves your attention. His arms reach outwards whenever he stretches after waking up from sleep.

Even now, he slowly blinks to show you that he is actively listening to you, reminiscent of his feline counterparts. His concentration breaks briefly when he notices a cat sleeping on the park bench, stopping to bend over and pet the sleeping calico. You couldn’t help but giggle at how he tilts his head, confused as to why you started laughing mid-sentence.

“Pretty kitty.” You mumble, kneeling next to him. Minho watches as you reach over to scratch the cat’s chin. The cat lets out a subtle purr at your touch, eliciting a smile from you.

His signature vanilla scent enveloped you as his arm slings around your shoulder. Minho pulls you closer to him, causing you to practically fall into him.

“That’s not right,” he starts the exact moment you yelp in surprise. “I’m your pretty kitty.”

“Minnnn” you whine, “you’re gonna scare him.”

“Good.” He hugs you tighter, nuzzling his cheek into yours. “You should only pay attention to me.”

“Jeez, what’s gotten into you?” Laughing, you leaned into his chest. The cat must’ve gotten sick of the PDA happening right in front of him, choosing instead to disappear into the bushes behind. “Min, the cat ran away!” Oh, how difficult it was for him to resist pinching your cheeks.

Instead, he turns to plant a sloppy kiss on you. He throws his head back, whole body vibrating with laughter when you over-exaggerate wiping away his affections. “I miss this. It’s been a while since it’s been just the two of us.”

It’s true; the two of you had been so preoccupied with work lately, to the point that the only time you got to see each other was through brief video calls late at night. Today was the first proper date you had been able to go on in a month, and Minho was determined to keep you all to himself.

Humming in reply, you stood up, pulling your boyfriend up with you. His grip on your hand tightened as he stuffed your intertwined hands into his jacket pocket. As if transported into a romance drama, a gust of wind blows through the very park you stood in. Cherry blossom petals flutter about, with a few of them even getting caught in Minho’s fluffy hair. You reach up on your tippy toes to extend a free hand moving up to brush them away. Minho takes this chance to grab it by the wrist, tilting it to press another kiss on the inside of your palm.

“I’ve missed you too, my pretty kitty.”

His ears tinged as pink as the flower petals floating about. Half his face hidden by your hand, his shining eyes stare back at you with all the affection in the world. One day, he thinks. One day he’ll permanently make you his.

But for now, he notices how the chill of the wind causes you to shiver, prompting him to pull you even deeper into his chest. “There’s a cafe nearby that Jisung recommended. Shall we go?”

“Yeah, i’d like that.”

[lovestaysblogs]

ooo also would love a minho x reader where they are sort of enemies in the friendship group/ think the other dislikes them and maybe reader needs help/ ends up hurt or drunk and minho comes to help and they realise they didn’t actually hate each other and the group is glad they’ve finally stopped being blind (I think i have an angst obsession)

unfortunately i like you too

pairing: college au!lee know x reader word count: 3306 genre: not really friends/ rivals to lovers, fluff, angst, unrequited (but not really), hurt to comfort warnings: description of unintentional self-harm (pressing your fingernails into your palms), alcohol network: @skzstarnet request by: @missvanjii

When I first met Lee Minho I thought he was a piece of shit. And that’s just me putting it nicely. 

We were placed in a group together in our first year for Introduction to Computer Science.

He was always correcting me with his stupid signature smirk on his stupid face, wearing his stupid glasses, and laughing his stupid laugh while I struggled to retort his reply. In fact, if my stupid body had some backbone and I wasn’t so unfortunately attracted to him, and if I didn’t hate how much I got nervous when he would come from behind me and click my mistakes away, I could easily respond to him.

In that class I also met two of my closest friends now. Felix, another international student and Nayeon, both who had the brightest smiles. After completing our assignment, the four of us unintentionally formed our own little friend group.

At times we meet at a coffee shop not too far from campus to get some work done. It was a perfect day to meet up. With how chilly it’s been, the sun finally showed herself after days of rain. 

The quaint coffee shop turned out to be our favourite spot off campus. The simple designs mixed with the smell of coffee were calming factors for us. After coming here almost every week, the owners now know our orders and always have our table ready for us.

Felix and I were the first to arrive. He barely waited til we sat down properly for him to pull out his laptop, plug it in and start typing rapidly. His forehead formed rare lines as his eyes moved rapidly to the screen. 

After getting our order, he turned his laptop to me and asked me to see if I could fix his worries.

“Lix, I have no idea what to do to fix that program,” I said.

Felix sighed as he turned his computer back to himself. One could see how stressed he was. His face was wearing a foreign frown as he typed quickly.

“What program?” A voice that I recognized way too easily, said sitting down in front of us. 

I glanced up at Minho, we made eye contact and he smiled. I looked away and rolled my eyes at his presence. Since it was just the three of us, Nayeon as usual was late.

The owner brought over his order, he smiled and thanked him while slightly bowing, making his bangs fall onto his glasses. After taking a quick sip of his coffee, he quickly fixed them before asking again, 

“So what’s this program you’re talking about?”

“The program for my Analysis of Algorithms class. I’ve been working at it for days and it’s due tonight and I asked Y/N to look at it for me –” 

“But Y/N’s more of a UX designer Lix,” Minho interrupted. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.

He laughed, “Nothing, just that your focus is in UX design, so I wouldn’t be surprised that you wouldn’t know how to fix it,”

I know what Minho said wasn’t inherently bad, but the playfulness in his eyes alongside that stupid ass smirk made me know that he knows he’s pissing me off.

I squinted my eyes at his response and opened my mouth to answer him but Felix interjected.

“This is due tonight. I don’t have time for your bickering back and forth as a badly concealed  attempt at flirting,” He groaned, placing his fingers at his temple.

“Felix!”

Minho laughed and took Felix’s laptop and started typing.

“What? It’s true. You do it every time we hang out and I’m too stressed to have that right now,” He pouted, placing his head on my shoulder.

I started to pat his hair and said to Minho,

“Look at what you did to the poor child,”

“Me?!” 

Before he could continue, Nayeon finally entered the coffee shop with a smile on her face. She said hi to the owners and waved at us from the counter. 

She sat down beside Minho and pulled out her laptop as she said,

“What did I miss?”

“Nothing much, just Y/N and Minho bickering again,” Felix said.

“Oh so the usual,”

Minho snickered at that.

“We do not argue that much. Y’all just lucky I can tolerate his ass,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Careful with rolling your eyes all the time babe, they might fall out,” Minho said looking up at me.

“Ughhh, can you not! Have you finished fixing my program, you’re over here flirting?” Felix groaned again.

My eye twitched, “He was not… flirting,”

Right? He calls me these silly nicknames all the time. And as much as they make my heart speed up a little, it means nothing to him. 

Minho turned the laptop back around to Felix, “I’m finished with it Lix. You must have not noticed but you skipped out on a couple lines of code and also had some of them in the wrong places,”

“Have I ever told you I love you? Because I love you,” Felix exclaimed, lifting his head off my shoulder to check his laptop.

Minho laughed at his theatrics but he just had to pipe in, “Also, I wasn’t flirting,”

Nayeon rolled her eyes, “Sure, whatever you say,”

Minho chuckled before opening his own laptop, “Why would I flirt with Y/N?”

“You guys are blowing shit out of proportion. He was just being a dick as usual,” I said.

“Yeah plus, she isn’t my type anyways,” He shrugged. 

The air stilled. I stopped typing after hearing his words.  Nayeon and Felix locked eyes before simultaneously looking at me. Must be to see how my face might have changed upon hearing his words.

They’ve told me once before that as fierce I might try to present myself on the outside, with the dark makeup and dark clothes, I’m as soft as a cloud on the inside. And sometimes that bleeds through. I’m unable to hide my emotions to protect myself and I get figured out. I don’t think either of them know about my unfortunate crush on Minho. Well, if they do, they haven’t told me.

“That’s a bit much Min,” Nayeon said.

She reached for my hand on the table, gently unclasping my fingers that were pressed so tightly into my palm. I didn’t even notice I was doing it.

Minho looked up and our eyes met when Nayeon spoke. It’s like he felt the shift in the energy. He blinked rapidly, as if he was slowly processing what just happened. One would think he would stop talking at this point.

Wrong.

 “Y/N knows not to take me seriously,” He said with a slight smile looking right at me.

My throat closed up. “Right,” I forced out, “Because you don’t take me seriously either,”.

His eyebrows pushed together as if he was surprised at what I said. Or maybe it was how I said it. His eyes latched onto mine. His mouth slightly opened, as if he was searching for what to say.

Felix placed a hand on mine, to comfort me but to warn me to be cautious as well. Now I know I must have been wearing my feelings on my face again. 

After I could trust myself to speak, I raised my face and tucked my locs behind my ears. I started packing up my stuff.

“I forgot I had to do something back on campus. I’ll catch up with you guys later,”

Walking out of the coffee shop, I cursed myself over and over again. We do this all the time. We argue, we bicker, we insult. But it wasn’t personal. And the feelings I felt for him that made me so frustrated with myself, never came up. 

It’s not like I expect anything to come out of this.  A relationship with Minho was the last thing I thought of. But to hear him blatantly say I never even had a chance, hurt. I didn’t even know I wanted one.

The noisy street to the bus stop did not help to drown out my thoughts. In fact with how loud it was inside my brain and outside, I wish something would shut up. I felt enclosed and uncomfortable. Maybe I was wearing too many layers. But it was too cold to go without a jacket. Tears brimmed my eyes and I started pressing my fingernails into my palms again, simply hoping to relieve some frustration.

A hand gently stopped my pressing.

“Lix?”

“Hey,” He said softly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave like that. My mind is just so loud right now and God –”

He smiled gently, “You don’t have to apologize Y/N,”. He interlocked his fingers with mine and squeezed my hand as we walked to the stop.

We sat down and waited for the bus to come. The once bright blue skies quickly turned gray under the influence of the month of May.

“It’s okay to feel, you know Y/N? You don’t have to be this tough girl all this time,” He frowned. 

“When I do feel, it hurts Lixie,” I placed my head on his shoulder.

He patted my head gently, “I know love, I know. I just wish the both of you would stop arguing and actually realize how you feel”.

“He feels nothing for me. Didn’t you hear what he said?” I said.

Felix only sighed and said nothing else.

The next time our group was together, was at the club on Friday night. Nayeon and I were in the bathroom checking our makeup while the guys got drinks. We both matched in our black little dresses, accenting our figures. My locs were in a high bun with two framing pieces out. I reapplied my liner and lip gloss and glanced over at Nayeon whose light makeup contrasted with my dark one. I smiled at her through the mirror and nudged her.

She caught my smile and began laughing, “We’re literally twins babe,”

I nodded and hugged her, “We are,”

She looked at me a bit more seriously, “You know I love you right Y/N?”

“Of course Nayeonie. I know,”

“Good. I also straightened out Lee Minho after you left,” She said, fixing her hair.

“You did not!”

Maybe I heard her wrong over the blaring loud music.

“I did! I told him that I know y’all argue but that was pushing it,”

“There’s nothing wrong with him not having feelings for me,”

“It’s not that. It’s how he said it,”

I reached over and gave her another hug, “Well either way, thank you for protecting me Nayeonie,”

She hugged me again, “Always, my Y/N. Let’s go dance and get really drunk now!!” 

Her smile was devilish.

Walking over to the bar, we saw the boys with our drinks. 

Felix handed over mine and said “What were you guys doing in there? Took so damn long!”

I giggled and downed mine, “What happens in the girls bathroom, stays in the girls bathroom,”

“Whatever, let’s go dance.” As he pulled me into the crowd, I locked eyes with Minho.

We haven’t really spoken since the coffee shop. He gave me a small smile and nodded at me, which I returned. 

Anyways, I wasn’t here to focus on Minho and my failed attempt at not checking out how good he looked tonight under the flashing lights. 

After some time and ten more drinks later, I lost the group. I stumbled out of the crowd and sat at the bar. I reached into my purse for my phone and tried my best to find one of their numbers.

“Hey,” An unfamiliar voice said. 

I looked up at the owner of the voice, “Do I know you?”.

He laughed, “No, but you can get to know me. I bought a drink for you,”.

He slid a bright red drink over my way. With the slight consciousness I had, I shook my head.

“No thanks,”

He sat down next to me, “Come on, I’ve been watching you all night and now I’m finally talking to you. Just take the drink at least,”

“You’ve been watching me?”

“Yeah” He said with a smile, “I think you’re cute,”.

I smiled back at him and took the drink in my hand, but before it could even reach my head, a hand snatched it from me. 

I looked to see Minho pouring the drink on the ground.

“Yeah, she’s not drinking that,”

“Excuse me? Who are you?” The stranger said standing up.

Minho scoffed and had his stupid signature smirk on his face, “You wanna find out?”

Minho took a step forward, as the guy took a step back, “I didn’t know she was your girl. Sorry about that man,”

The guy then left without sparing another glance at me.

“Do you hate me that much?” I said as Minho turned back around to me.

“Wh-what? Y/N, you were not seriously going to take a drink from a random ass guy,”

“What if I wanted to?!” I stood up and yelled over the music. “Is it so jarring to you that someone actually wants me?”

Tears brimmed at my eyes, “Or do you just want to humiliate me, every chance you get?”

“No Y/N what?” Minho said, startled. 

I shook my head and started to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me through the club.

We walked in silence to the nearest convenience store. I didn’t fight or even yelled when we reached outside. He simply just told me ‘Let’s go for a walk,’ and for some reason I listened. I sat down outside on one of the stools. Minho went inside, saying he needed to get something. 

You could barely see the stars tonight. What wasn’t covered in clouds was covered by the bright lights of Seoul. Reminds me of how conflicted I felt about Minho. He’s a good person, I know he is. And that makes me wonder how good he would be as a boyfriend. But he doesn’t see me as anything but a friend.

“Drink,” He said, handing it to me.

I struggled with opening it and he took it from me, opened it and then put it at my head. 

“What makes you think I would want to humiliate you?” He said when I was finishing drinking, taking a seat right next to me.

God, I could barely focus on his words. He slightly turned his body to me and the white button down shirt with the few buttons open at the top distracting me.

“Y/N?... Babe come on, answer me,” He said, bringing back my attention to his face.

“I don’t know Minho, I don’t know,” I said.

He ran his hands through his hair, “I know what I said in the coffee shop was uncalled for. And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push it,”

I shrugged, “Thank you, but I didn’t expect anything else to be honest,”

His eyebrows furrowed, “What do you mean?”

“We don’t really like each other. We don’t necessarily say the kindest things all the time,”

“You think I don’t like you?”

I nodded, “Yeah, I mean… you never proved otherwise,”

“I was just teasing. I thought you were too. I liked annoying you because… I liked getting a reaction from you. I liked knowing what pissed you off and knowing I’m the only one that can get on your nerves in a certain way. I like you Y/N… a lot. And I’m sorry for not paying attention to the weight of my words,”

“You like me? If you’re just saying that to piss me off more Lee Minho I swear,” I rolled my eyes and started to turn away from him.

I couldn’t allow myself to get hurt once more and much worse to show how hurt I was right in front of him.

“No, no” He turned me back around and reached for my hands, “This isn’t a joke, I promise.” He said as he looked right into my eyes as if he would die if he looked away.

“But you said I wasn’t your type,” I said softly.

“That was me deflecting. Felix called me out on my flirting and I felt nervous. I didn’t know what to say, but I shouldn’t have said that and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Y/N”

“Yeah… you shouldn’t have,”

He scratched the back of his head, “Did you really think I didn’t like you? Does that mean you don't like me either?”

I didn’t know what to say.

“Damn, and here I thought it was just some freaky foreplay we were doing?”

I slapped his chest, “What?”

“I mean, we were bickering all the time but I just thought it was playful, so I didn’t take it seriously. I just thought that the bickering would eventually lead to a confession,”

Now all those nicknames he called me made sense.

“So, is that what you want? A confession?”

“Is it selfish to say yes? I do really like you Y/N. I was really hoping you’d feel the same way,”

“What do you like about me?” I said. 

I looked up at him and gosh my heart was speeding. 

“Your creativity. God, the way your brain works is so mesmerizing. Everytime you send a mockup to the group chat, I’m in awe of how creative it is. I like how kind you are. Even though you portray this really tough act, your heart is soft. You’re always trying to help someone out and it’s always with the utmost genuinity. I like your eyes. I like how they tell your emotions so well, especially when you’re trying to hide them.”

“Minho,” I said softly.

“I can go on,”

“You don’t have to. You don’t have to, because unfortunately I like you too.”

He laughed. He laughed his stupid laugh. His stupid eyes formed pretty crescents and his stupid head tilted slightly back.

“Why are you laughing at me?” I pouted.

“I’m sorry baby, you just confessed in the cutest way possible. ‘Unfortunately’?” He laughed again.

My face got hot. He looked over at me with a soft smile. His hands cautiously but gently reached for my face and lifted it up for us to meet at eye level. 

“Unfortunately, Y/N I can’t let you go after experiencing what it’s like to be close to you. Unfortunately, I can’t see you without the endearment of how adorable you are. And unfortunately that comes with the affection I have for you, waiting to be shown, if you’d let me,”

“Show it,” I said, my voice no higher than a whisper. “Show your stupid affection. Whether that be in the way you tease me or hold me, unfortunately I want you either way as long as you’d let me,”

He blinked a couple times as if he was processing my words. His eyes travelled down to my lips at which I leaned closer. He reached down and pressed his on to mine. 

Our group met again at our designated coffee shop. Felix and I were sitting across from each other, discussing the class we just had. 

Lee Minho walked in, with a smile, “Hey baby” He leaned down to give me a quick kiss.

When I turned back to Felix, his mouth was wide open. Minho laughed, his cute laugh as Nayeon finally entered.

“What did I miss?” She asked.

“You wouldn’t believe me,” Felix said.

As he tells the shocking discovery of our new found development, loud squeals and giggles could be heard from outside our coffee shop.

I glanced at Minho as he wrapped his arm around me, telling our best friends how this all happened.

You know now that I think of it, he isn’t that bad after all.

a/n:

reblogging helps writers work to be found so please reblog if you liked it!! i wanna say first i'm so so sorry for taking long with this request! T.T life happened and i started writing it then i hated how it was turning out so i redirected and now honestly i think this is the best fic i've written.

i really do think i've improved in my writing. so thank you for this request! i love when i'm given request because it really forces myself to write within that perimeter so i hope i've fulfilled it :))

my requests are still open so if anyone would want to send anymore feel free!

also i have 15 followers aaaa. i know it might seem small to some but it means a lot to me! honestly my goal isn't numerical but just to have black girls feel seen in the fanfiction especially kpop fanfiction world.

okay i've talked too much now. i have a lot of wips that i'm excited about :)) i'll see u soon ! sending lots of love and happiness y'all's way<3333

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Lee Minho (Lee Know) Perspective Reading

Disclaimer: I don't claim to know him, just a girl with cards. If you have a set perfect image of him, keep it moving, if not, enjoy the ride. This is just my interpretation of the energy and cards I get.

Alright, so decided to go with him for the next reading now that we are in Scorpio season, why not get to him as there was someone interested in his reading. The song that came to me, like Taehyun, it came very quickly was Beautifully Broken by Ashley Simpson. At first, I had no clue what song this was. I just heard the song name, so had to look it up, and I realized it was an old song I used to like. The lyrics that stood was 'I am beautifully broken, and I don't care who knows it.' Honestly, this is so Scorpio energy. I am not sure if he wears his scars on his sleeve, not sure why that came up, but he may be unapologetic about who he is, including his flaws, he may even embrace them. I am not too familiar with him, so this will be fun to dig in and see what I can get. He can sometimes be hard to read for me, so not sure how deep he will let me go.

Okay, well this was the quickest I have seen this deck of cards fall out, since doing this, and a lot wanted to pop out, so there can be a lot lurking within him in the shadows here. I get a sense he needs some sort of struggle or pain to kind of feel anything. He may feel like a shell of himself. It is like he needs to feed off of something, maybe others to feel anything. I mean, this colorless Angel card is kind of like someone lifeless and cold. Or someone who is numb to the world. He doesn't seem much of an optimist or a dreamer. Seeing this, not sure why I am pulled to my more spiritual deck, he isn't giving me the vibe he is very connected in that sense. But I can also see him not using tools or addictions to escape. It is like he wants to face the harsh realities of the world. I felt like I got this vibe from him in the idol reading, where he kind of likes the struggle and darkness.

I asked for more, and of course a lot came out, man this dude may seem to like to show his dark side, which now the song choice makes sense. I am beautifully broken, I don't care who knows it is really showing here with all these cards coming out. He kind of embraces that aspect of him. Once again, the Peaceful Among Thorns card is reversed, it is like he likes to step in the fire, the chaos, because it makes him feel. Yeah, I am in his energy, and I am feeling nothing, so yeah, there is a sense of numbness here (not complaining from my end though), like he may need external things to give him some sense of feeling. I am not sure why Fragmentation is reversed here. Maybe he doesn't see himself as broken. It is like he is a beautiful puzzle piece. Interesting phrasing there.

So, he got the Sovereign card, in this energy he seems to stand in his own power and loves his authentic self. He stays true to himself and what he stands for. It is kind of like no one can bring him down. With the Tamer energy. He is very good at keeping his cool through any storm that may come his way, or he just knows how to remain cool, calm and collected. He understands people may not agree with him and that is okay. Now, with this creator energy here, life is a game or a play for him, maybe even a stage, a place he can have fun and create the life he may want. I just think of The Magician when I look at this card, he can manipulate the environment and people around him. It doesn't have to be malicious, but it can also be that way. I am not getting a purely innocent vibe from him, but not negative either. He is kind of neutral in a sense. Not on the good or bad side. I can see him playing both sides to be honest. He is always seeking something to fulfill the needs he desires whatever that is. He is always on the search for something more exciting and thrilling. The thrill of the chase I am getting.

He is showing different elements with this deck of cards. He seems like a pure romantic, a person who may seek true love, or maybe this love can help fill him in a sense. Love may allow him to purify his thoughts, maybe bring clarity to his life, or make things clear for him. It can also help him to feel more deeply. Or just be able to tap into his emotions more. He seems like a very thoughtful person with the undercurrents of emotions that may lay dormant but could come to the surface if he finds the love he needs. Crazy messages here but going with it. Love seems to be able to awaken something in him. This sounds like a damn love story here wth

It seems building bonds with others will be important in his life. It seems he enjoys having people close to him, or just connecting with others. It is like he is meant to find his true love or a soul mate here. Maybe there is someone in his life that he may need to take a leap of faith with. There are also opportunities here for him that he needs to take a chance on, as I said earlier, he isn't the most optimistic or the type to have faith in things. He may feel things will all go to hell, interesting wording that popped up here, but he just needs to learn to have faith things will work out for the best. He seems to be a very loyal person. Someone who stands by others through thick and thin. He is always there to listen and be of comfort to someone he cares about. Different vibe here from the first part, this is taking me somewhere else.

So, these selections of cards are mostly telling him to allow himself to open up and be vulnerable, so if he allows love into his life, it will give him the opportunity to reveal the inner most vulnerable sides of himself. To bring out those emotions that lay dormant. He may shut that part of him off, which can make him feel cold and empty inside, which is why he seeks external pleasure or enjoyment. It is like allow himself to be on display. He seems to like to go into his dark and shadow side, but not his soft, warm and vulnerable side. It is like he should come out the darkness and show his color and light. He is like backwards, most people hide their shadow side and keep their lighter side on display, he is the opposite, embraces the shadow side, but keeps his light within him. There could also be a lack of freedom of expression with him, due to shutting his vulnerable side off.

Let's end this with Tarot. so not surprised my Scorpio card came out, well duh, he is one, the keywords that stick out are secretive, cautious of others and taboo. There is also a deep undercurrent to him I am getting. He is not the type to share too much, and maybe that is why he may struggle for people to get to close, because you may discover things about him, he may not like, not the dark side, but the more vulnerable one. With the 4 of Cups rv, he tries not to brood or sit with his emotions for too long, he needs a distraction to keep him away from that. He seems to be emotionally and spiritually disconnected as well. With The Star reversed, makes sense, lack of hope and optimism on his part, once again, blocked spiritually as well and a lack of healing one's soul, or doing the soul work. I get it, some people are just not spiritual and focus on the material and Earth plane, so he may be in that energy. He may also have a difficult time seeing the potential in things as well. It is like he is constantly on the move, so he doesn't have to connect with himself or feel, which is why he may feel a void within himself.

Okay, he is a fascinating character, thankfully I felt nothing energetically, but that also could indicate strong disconnections there. I thought it would be hard to get anything from him, but he made it rather easy. I am sure there is more to him he isn't sharing though, but this was fascinating on its own.

[lv-iceprince]

Okay, I'll combine both astrology and a writing request in this fic.

Lee Know's Scorpio Venus and Virgo Mars to me indicates he has a corruption kink and would love the idea of having a inexperienced partner that he can mould into pleasing just him.

Can I please request a piece where it's the reader's first time?

Thank you xx

Bubble Pop!!!

pairing~ lee minho x fem! reader

genre~ (s)

word count~ 2.5k

synopsis~ he should have air fried the boy when he had the chance. maybe then he wouldn't have tried to hit on you. sure, hyunjin didn't know that you and minho were dating but that doesn't stop minho from taking your virginity then and there ... or the one where he illustrates your body with scratches to remind you who you belong to.

rating~ mdni 18+

featuring~ protected sex (a big sexy yes), pwp, minho and his corruption kink, loss of virginity, guided masturbation, guided pillow humping, minho has a thing for y/n's ass, dirty talk, dumbification if you really squint, minho fucks y/n on hyunjin's bed, sexy shadows and fairy lights.

a/n~ the fact that my first writing request is perfect, like thank you so much for requesting such a concept. i went insane writing this. i have been reborn. this is the most graphic thing i've written so to my new followers i'm sorry lol.

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Minho's lithe fingers were webbed with ecstasy as he trailed his hands up your heated skin, a sweet hum disguising his true intentions.

"Now tell me, do you have a boyfriend? With the way you were showing off in that little dress I highly doubt it." Even if it was against your better judgement you didn't know what else to do besides spread your legs further apart.

There was no way in hell that any of the guys knew you were taken, how could they when neither of you confirmed that you were dating. In there eyes you were Minho's best friend turned roommate, so why wouldn't Hyunjin shoot is shot?

Hyunjin would never fully comprehend how big a mistake it was to let his hand linger too close to your ass while he invited you over for some wine and a good time; that would only become apparent when he retired to his room to find cum-stained sheets and your perfume on his pillow.

"Min, I swear I was about to reject him, you know I would never do that to you."

Minho clicked his tongue in mockery as he snaked his hand into your underwear. Siren eyes met doe eyes as he noticed how caught off guard you were. He wanted to comfort you and say that he wouldn't break you, but that wouldn't be the entire truth. He wanted you to fall apart in his hands so that he could build you back up, most of all, he wanted you to scream out his name on Hyunjin's bed.

Even though his hand was restricted by your cotton panties he didn't make any attempt at sliding them down your leg, the cute ribbon that adorned them was his weakness.

You had expected him to pick up where he left off, fingers sliding against your tight walls, instead he came down to toy with your clit. Positioning himself to hover above you he leaned in to brush your hair to the side, coercing you with a string of kisses across your clavicle.

He had wanted to do this ever since you became his roommate. At first he thought you were his angel but it was all apart of your charm. You were kind, thoughtful and sweet but like all of the most heavenly angels you were the devil in disguise, even if you didn't realise it.

You may have been a virgin but there were moments where Minho was sure he caught you slipping. The way you would eye his bare chest after he had a shower, the way you were in awe whenever a sex scene came on tv-he could only hope that you were imagining his touch.

But the thing that truly broke him was the many times you would walk around your apartment wearing nothing but a t-shirt and panties, not to mention that you always seemed to prefer his shirts over your own. The slight bruises littering his lower lip were a reminder of the times he bit his lip so hard that a speck of blood started to pool, your virginity remained intact while his sanity quickly went down the drain.

A harsh blush coated your cheeks as his member hardened beneath you making the rough denim scratch harder against your thigh. "I didn't know you felt this way." Minho didn't look up at you this time, far too preoccupied with your breasts and the fact he could see your hardened peaks through your bra. "I feel a lot of ways about you, I want to do so much to you jagiya." For a split second you caught his dark orbs before they fell behind his dark bangs. The look in his eyes was unlike anything you had ever seen before, it was full desperation.

Your head fell back, a silent beckon for him to continue exploring your body. "Little y/n always making my life so difficult, keep panting like that and you'll make me cum."

His taunting was the encouragement you needed to buck your hips into him, whining at the pressure on your clit. Minho's fingers froze in place depriving you of your release. Gripping his upper arm you pushed yourself against him, assuming his nerves got the best of him. "Minho that felt so good I want you to keep going." Minho chuckled at your neediness, responding with words dripping in sin.

"But I don't want to be bad, not yet, so how about we play a game? I want to see what experience you have, I have a feeling you know how to put on a show."

Minho approached Hyunjin's pink velvet office chair and wheeled it to the centre of the room, sitting down he leaned back to cross his legs. He took in the sight before him, you half naked, head resting on a soft pillow as the fairy lights danced across your skin.

"Open your legs sweet thing I want to see all of you."

You parted your legs, displaying the wet patch that started to form. Minho sat in awe at the way your arousal was dripping onto the sheets beneath you, luckily his dark jeans hid the fact that he had made a mess of his own.

Even though he was fighting against his own lust he grinned at you and clicked his tongue in faux mockery. "I bet you taste so good." Minho smirked as he noticed more slick trail down your leg at his words. "Well if that's the case I think you could do without your cute underwear, take them off. They're no use tonight anyways."

You already felt exposed however, you hung on to each of his words as you removed the soaked material. For a split second you thought of throwing them at him, a silent cry for him to hurry up and fuck you. But instead you tossed them to the side, awaiting his directions.

"I want to get this over and done with so be a good girl and listen to me, you can do that for me right y/n?" You nod, ever so obedient for your boyfriend.

"Open your legs a bit wider I want to see all of you." You brought your hands up to your face, hiding your ferocious blush. "Don't hide, there's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"How about we start simple, use one of your hands to tease your entrance." Bringing a hand down you traced your folds, wincing when your fingers nudged your clit. "You're doing so well y/n, now finger yourself, remember how I shoved my hands down your pants earlier, I want to see you recreate it." You clenched your eyes shut, trying to remember the way his fingers rubbed against the walls of your aching cunt. Using one hand to spread your folds you inserted a finger, confused as to why you were still so tight. It wasn't long before you worked your way up two fingers, you were about to add a third before Minho interjected. "Grab that pillow, it's time for part two of our lesson." Getting onto your knees you reached for the closest pillow, getting a sample of Hyunjin's cologne. You brought it in front of you, awaiting his next order. Part of you knew what he wanted from you but there was no way he would ask you to do that, surely.

"What are you waiting for, don't be shy."

Somehow, for someone so unfamiliar with this you liked being so exposed to him. It was as if he was seeing more than your naked body, he saw the side of you that was begging for his touch since day one.

Straddling the pillow you arched your back at the sensation of the cool fabric against your heated skin, the embroidered patterning of the pillow barely brushed against your clit.

"That feels good doesn't it?" Nodding in response you moved forward, but that wasn't enough. No matter how much you moved your hips back and forth the jolt of pleasure barely revealed itself. "Min- this isn't enough, I need you." "No you don't." "I want you, I need to cum please." "You can have me after you cum."

Despite his harsh words his tone was the most gentle it had been that entire night. "I will always be here to please you but I know you can do it. Try rolling your hips towards me. The wave of pleasure that over took you after more desperate rutting was intense, something in your lower stomach snapped as your shaking arms gave out, your legs were barely holding you up as you gripped onto the sheets beneath you. You couldn't even comprehend the string of curse words you shouted, you were barely there.

Letting you catch your breath Minho pulled a condom out from his back pocket and sat near your side, his hand resting on the your back. "You did so well y/n." Pulling the pillow away from you he waited for you to finish coming down from your high.

"You're all fucked out, do you still want me? We can do this another night." Even if he sounded so gentle it felt like he was mocking you, there was no way you would give up on having sex with him tonight.

"I'm not going home until you fuck me Minho."

Minho walked you to the end of Hyunjin's bed "Bend over." Once you had done so Minho's hands trailed up your sides and stopped at your hands. Treating you as if you were his own personal doll he gripped your hands and brought them up urging you to grip onto the beams of the canopy bed. Minho tore the foil packet open, rolling the condom on.

"I'll try and be gentle jagiya, but if it's too much I'll stop as soon as you say vanilla." Minho kissed your neck anticipating the way that you would arch your back, he was already far too familiar with your body. "Just focus on the lights and relax." Looking straight ahead you ignored the twinkling fairly lights, instead becoming fixated by the shadowed silhouette of you and Minho that was cast onto the wall.

His cock prodding against your entrance made you wince. While you were trying to compose yourself yet again Minho entered you without warning, you couldn't prevent the gasp that escaped your lips. Minho pulled you in closer pushing himself deeper, your walls clenched around him, he just hoped you could feel each vein and curve through the condom. He wanted you to remember each part of him, you didn't need anyone else, he was the only one who could bring you this much pleasure, not Hyunjin.

"M-Minho." Your chest was heaving as you tried your best to relax, despite how foreign this feeling was. There was no way you wanted him to stop, you were a big girl, you could handle it.

"Y/n I hope you know that you're mine, no one else gets this sweet pussy."

If you weren't clinging to the bed your hands would be holding onto his hips, begging him to go faster, but all you had was a shaky voice that told Minho that you were about to start sobbing if he didn't fuck you like he meant it.

"Y/n you better stop me now I won't be able to control myself." Your eyes were glistening with tears as you answered him "I don't want you to control yourself, I'm yours Minho, take me." Lust was clouding your senses, you weren't even fully aware of how needy you sounded, just seeing his form through a shadowed figure cast on the wall wasn't enough. You needed to see him like this every damn day.

Minho pulled out slightly before thrusting back into you, he was telling the truth, he wasn't planning on holding back. His pace was quick and the sound of skin on skin turned you on even more, there was something so raw and passionate, it was strange but this had to be what love felt like.

"Minho, I think I'm close." "Already? But I was just getting started." "It just feels so good, I don't think I can hold it," Before your boyfriend could make you cum for the first time he stopped, much to your dismay. "Minho not now, I'm sorry I was playing with Hyunjin please, I want to cum!" Placing a kiss on your cheek Minho slapped your ass, immediately rubbing the red mark. It was hard to tell where the shadows cast by the lights started and where the faint bruises on your hips ended.

"Stop being dramatic y/n, stand up." You turned around to face Minho, even in the dim lighting you could see his eyes sparkling for you. Minho cupped your face in his hands, holding you so that he could gift you with a heated kiss. He pulled away, a string of saliva still connecting the two of you.

"I think you can put all that practice to good use." Letting go of you Minho removed his shirt, finally getting to his jeans he removed them and reclined back onto the bed.

Wasting no time you straddled him, sighing as he pushed inside of you. Instead of being tight and awkward your body invited him in. Parting your legs further you rolled your hips into him, repeating everything that you had done to defile that pillow. Minho gripped onto your hips yet again, but this time he traced over the bruises as he kissed you like his life depended on it.

The way you were rolling your hips just the way he had liked it, the way you were begging him for more. He knew he had something that the others could only dream of. Angling his hips fucked into you hard, his moans becoming one with the creaking of the bed.

He met a spot in the deepest part of your body, brushing against it, once or twice or was it three times? You had no idea but the way his tip brushed against you sent you straight to your own personal heaven. "Minho, I'm going to cum again, make me cum, I want it so bad." The way you had fallen apart on top of him was everything he had ever dreamt of, there was no way you were going to find a better fuck. Not even Hyunjin would make you feel like this.

Your walls clenching around him was enough to drive him over the edge, pulling out of you Minho came on your lower stomach.

The white streaks on your abdomen and the dazed look you wore was heaven, even though he felt like he committed the sin of ruining his angel. Pulling into his arms Minho kissed your cheek, allowing you to rest your head on his chest. It hadn't taken long for sleep to overtake you, cuddling into Minho you were too far away to even acknowledge the desperate, loving words he whispered to you, ones laced in sin. Even if that was the case you were conscious enough to know the gravity of the entire situation. There was no way you were getting over Lee Minho.

----

all rights reserved to ppoppokari

[hyunsvngs]

thoughts on lee know & tentacles? 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i need him so bad

my thoughts are absolutely

alien!minho who’s so so in love with you but so scared to show you his true form. finally drops his glamour after literal years of knowing you and a whole year of dating - even though you knew what he was - and there he is, little black antennas sticking up cutely. his eyes are completely black, skin a much paler shade but he’s still your minho. you could deal with everything he’d shown you so far, but when you saw the tentacles? it was like it came out of your wet dream.

“min, you’ve got…” you trail off, staring at him. you see the tentacles cower in insecurity. “no, no, sweetie! i think they’re… kinda sexy.”

then, your minho’s personality is completely back. “freak,” he murmurs, cocky smile on his plump lips. his eyes stare at you, dark with so, so many secrets underneath. “should’ve known you’d be into it.”

and yeah, you are into it - especially when he uses two of them to hold you down while he’s fucking into you, maybe fucks your mouth with another one of them because they are really sensitive to him, after all. that, and he likes seeing your mouth full. after a while, maybe he’s using one to open your other, more secret hole for him.

he can’t wait to take you back to his planet. you were going to have a field day.

[lamarkeu]

Episode Summary: Myungho is left home alone with his kids for the first time since their youngest was born allowing his wife to go on a much needed break.

Genre: Fluff (and minor angst)

Masterlist for SVTTROS Series

a/n: Mentions of divorce and child custody (TW)

Italics: Narrators Boo Seungkwan (BS) and Lee Minhyuk (LM)

Bold: Staff

Regular: What family member says / what camera films during the show

Listen To: Wonder by Standing Egg

BS: The Return of Superman, Episode 3 “I Think I Love You ” Part 2.

LM: This condo is absolutely breathtaking. The simple black and whites give off the vibe of modern minimalist layout. Once we pull back the floor to ceiling curtains the high ceilings warm up the space by revealing various artwork once hidden in shadow.

The living room is impeccably clean, for a second your daughter, Luna, is shown laying on her stomach adjacent to her younger brother Minho. The two take turns patting away at the foot of a massive teddy bear they received from their uncle Seungkwan.

BM: Ahh! I know who this is.

LM: Really? I haven’t been able to guess because I’ve been so busy admiring the artwork, it looks like Superman is either an art collector or a painter.

The camera captures how the kitchen perfectly overlooks the living room. Such a small detail can make a world of difference when you’re taking care of children. Zooming in closer towards the opened kitchen the audience sees a pair of hands chopping away on the counter top not going past the wrist level.

“What gift should we give Jeongwoo?” a voice asked before transferring the chopped carrots and onions into a bowl.

“Traditionally speaking clothes and Money should be fine. We’re not part of the intermediate family so we can avoid things like gold.” A second lower voice could be heard off screen, the camera capturing him boiling a pot of water.

“Sounds perfect,”she agrees before placing her used knife and cutting board into the sink as she adds, “I’ll stop by the bank on the way home.” She places her apron on a hook inside their pantry door. Dusting off herself from the ingredients she prepared for her husband to cook while she’s gone. “Are you sure you’ll be okay with them?”

“I promise, now go enjoy spending time with your friends. It’s about time you get a break.” A smile of adoration appears on his face before he leans down to give him a kiss just as the cameras pull up to show their face.

BS: Welcome Seventeen’s kind lead dancer and renowned painter Xu Minghao and renowned makeup artist Y/L/N Y/N. Hyung and Noona I missed seeing you!

LM: Myungho! What a sweet husband.

“Hyungsik might stop by, he said Luna left her project that’s due tomorrow at his house.” Y/N continued as she puts on her shoes in the foyer.

“Okay, I’ll keep an eye on the door camera.”

“See you later babies, I love you.” She calls to her kids with warmth in her voice after kissing her husband on the cheek.

Luna is heard yelling from the living room, “Bye mom, I’ll take care of bàba and didi while you’re gone.”

“That’s my girl. I’m so lucky to have you as my daughter.”

“Hello I’m Seo Myungho better known as Xu Minghao. I am one of Seventeen’s artists. I’m also more proudly known as Luna and Mingyue father.”

“Hi. I’m Y/L/N-Park Luna. I’m five years old. I have a baby brother name Ming Yue. I want to become a artist like my bàba.

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I’m a professional make up artist by trade and a passionate skincare business owner. Im also the mother of these beautiful babies. Thank you for inviting our family onto this show I’m a huge fan so this is a dream come true.”

How did you meet?

“I was doing some solo promotions while our Korean members were in the military. Originally I had a makeup artist through PLEDIS but she was about to go on maternity leave. I asked around my friends if they knew anyone that would be willing to take a temporary position. Dokyeom’s wife got in contact with me and relayed how great Y/N was.”

“I worked with Dokyeom doing stage makeup for musical theater since he played King Arthur. I got a message from Lee Y/N asking about Myungho and I immediately said yes. We’ve met before in passing and with other people so I took it as an opportunity for a better introduction.”

“She did quite the job helping with my appearance but also helped calm my nerves when I performed on different stages. Without that introduction I don’t think we would’ve found love the way we did.”

When did you realize you wanted to introduce Myungho to Luna?

“It was pretty early on. I was very upfront about having recently gone through a divorce. Being the amazing man he is, Myungho knew Luna was first priority and wasn’t scared of that.”

“If it were up to me I would’ve met her as soon as we started going out together but, I knew how delicate their situation was, especially because they were figuring out the custody arrangements.”

“Ultimately they did meet in person after 2 years. He was amazing at soothing my concerns and ultimately made me realize that he was in this relationship for the long haul.”

“We officially dated after that, got married and had Mingyue this year.”

What has co-parenting been like for you?

“It’s the best thing I could’ve asked for. I’ve always loved the idea of having a kid and Luna really made me enjoy that even more. I love seeing her grow and figure out who she is. At the end of the day on paper she may not be my biological daughter but in my eyes she will always be my little girl. I have Hyungsik Hyung and Y/N to thank for that.”

“Hyungsik and I much to people’s disbelief ended things on good terms. Now that we’re both remarried I hope that people show us respect for our blended family. I can’t speak for him but I know he’s really thankful for Myungho being another amazing father figure in Luna’s life. I’m so thankful that even when disagreements occur that they look past that because of their love for Luna.”

Do you have any messages for our viewers?

“I know netizens have had their misconceptions of who I am and the relationships I’ve had. I don’t blame them I hope through this show however, they’re able to rewrite their perceptions of myself and my family.”

“Y/N is an amazing mother and partner. To see how the media has manipulated this to benefit their own interests has been something we’ve been trying to fight against. I’m so grateful for the support given to us from my members, carats, Y/N’s fans, and our families for being so supportive during this time. Without you guys I don’t think we would’ve had the courage to share our love story to the public. My goal for our time on this show is to heal from the damages inflicted onto us in the past and expose our viewers to our family dynamic. Ultimately if we help even a single person to become open to blended families like ours I can proudly say that we’ve done our job.”

[nczennie]

hungry eyes.

Part Two of She's Like The Wind

Pairing: Reader x Stray Kid’s Lee Know AU: Summer love, based on the film Dirty Dancing Genre: Angst, Fluff (this part) Preview: “I’m doing this for you, you know! I could’ve refused and you would have been stuck without that job, but I’m doing the best I can to learn this stupid dance and help you, so stop being such an asshole!” You huff out angrily, you can feel the redness in your face clearly showing your emotion. Words: 9.2k *Warnings under cut

Warnings: Some curse words, some making out and like groping, drug use, talk against drug use, bad side effects of drug use,

It was only three days later that you found yourself sweating profusely in a small dance studio. As you stand trying to catch your breath you’re unsure how you even let Jeongin and Momo convince you to agree to this. This morning, bright and early before Minho’s shift started, you got ready in the most athletic-like clothing you packed, gently reminding yourself that you were doing this to help the girl out everytime you yawned on the walk over.

But now as you breathe heavily and wipe the sweat from your brow while Minho stares unimpressed and annoyed, you find yourself thinking, why do you owe this girl anything?

“I knew this wasn’t going to work,” the boy grumbles as he grabs a small towel to hand you, “We haven’t even gotten a fraction into the damn song and you can’t remember a single step.” Though his words are harsh, you know they were true. You’ve never done any ballroom dancing to this extent and you don’t think you were that great of a dancer to begin with. But Minho and his teaching wasn't helping you learn anything, in fact you find it to make everything much worse. 

"You're the dance teacher you know, isn't that your job?" You glare back at him as you wipe the sweat from you, cursing the summer humidity. "If I'm not learning anything then maybe it's your fault".

Minho scoffs at you, shaking his head, his brown hair falling into his eyes, "Unreal", he mumbles, "This whole thing is stupid, I can't believe I bet my job on someone like you".

“Then help me!” You let out frustratingly. “I know I’m not a dancer, and I’m not as talented as Momo or any other partner you’ve had. But if you actually slowed down and tried to teach me as a beginner then it would be easier for both of us! It’s like you’ve given up on me before you’ve even given me a chance.”

You know Minho was the most against you stepping in for Momo for the performance, but you figured he would at least give you a chance seeing as his second job is on the line.

At your outburst Minho says nothing, but at least it has stopped his grumbling. You swallow at the tense atmosphere, his large eyes slowly blinking at you, unchanging. Finally, he makes his way to a small table in the room, grabbing a couple of water bottles. The boy makes his way back to you and hands you one, “Drink up well, we have a lot to do, baby.” He turns back around to drink his own water and you can’t help the small smile that reaches your lips as you open the bottle, perhaps your words have gotten to him after all.

Just a week into being Minho’s pupil, you realize this could become a problem. Yet it wasn’t the tough footwork or the even tougher instructor, but the passionate routine and perhaps even your underlying attraction to the dancer.

After your confrontation, things seemed to progress much better for you both. Though he is tough with his instructions and expectations, Minho turns out to be a great teacher and that is crystal clear seeing as he was able to get you to memorize even the smallest things. You’re both already a good portion into the song and everything is on track for the performance in two short weeks. 

That being said, you never thought about the amount of passion the dance included. You saw with your own eyes how much passion Minho and Momo individually had when they danced, but now being a partner, it became clear the passion would be presented to you as well. You’ve shared a dance with Minho before, a very intimate one at that, but even that night when you basically had your pelvis’ pressed against each other (to put it politely), for some reason you still don’t find it to be as heart fluttering as what you’re learning now. 

The intense eye contact and slow dragging of his fingers across your body hitches your breath every time and you’re glad you can still blame the shortness of breath on being out of shape.

Of course you found Minho attractive from the very first moment you saw him. It's his dancing that draws you in, but it’s his large eyes, sharp cheekbones, and pouty lip that keep you staring. There’s something beautiful and stunning about Minho’s physical appearance. His features are both sharp and delicate at the same time, and his aura automatically draws the attention of everyone in the room he’s in. He’s the type of beauty you believe would be hard for anyone to deny. 

And though you noticed Minho’s beauty from the beginning, there was something about the boy now that had begun to become almost conscious of yourself. You wanted to learn the dance and perform well for his and Momo’s sake, but you also wanted to impress him personally. You wanted him to tell you how well you were doing, you didn’t want his passionate looks to stop as soon as the music did, you wanted to make his heart flutter the same way he made yours. 

That would be the reason why the effort you put into your appearance before practice grew, but you hope it wasn’t too obvious. Your comfort wear slowly started to change to pieces that were practical but what you found to accentuate the best parts of you. You sneakily stole one of Daisy's lip glosses and you're always sure to apply it right before you enter the room to make sure it’s fresh. If Minho notices any of your changes he doesn’t let on, so for now you make sure to focus on perfecting the dance.

Sometimes, if her schedule allowed, Momo would make her way into the practice room as well. Since it was also her routine you would be doing she tried her best to come and teach you, from her perspective, just how you needed to portray the moves. 

It was a lot of help learning from the one who actually did the moves you did and spending time with Momo for the first time showed you a side of her you hadn’t seen before. 

The girl was quite energetic and fun, she helped you in an entertaining and less strict way. Having her at practices was very helpful, you and Minho performing for her so she could see and correct from an outsiders point of view. 

You were glad to have her help and getting to know her better made you glad you chose to help her out.

Though your relationship with Minho did improve in the time you did work together, there were still moments you felt like you were going backwards. There were times where the tension between you both grew; whether it was him being frustrated with you not being able to get a move down, or you frustrated with him being frustrated with you. You figured it came with being around each other for long amounts of time, but that did little to ease your emotions.

Such as today.

It had been a stormy, gloomy day from the moment you woke up. Even now it was pouring hard as you were alone with Minho in an old garage that wasn’t being used. The dance studio you usually used together was in use for a class, so Minho found this garage on the outskirts of the resort property. There was no air conditioning so he opted to leave the large doors open, the sound of the storm loud and clear for you both to hear and see. The humidity that the weather brought seemed unbearable causing you both to sweat more than usual. 

On top of that, you’ve recently started to wear heels to practice to help you get used to them since you would have to wear them for the actual performance. You were just getting used to them on the dance floor but now trying to dance with them on top of this dirt, you were a mess. 

To put it lightly, you have been crap at the entire routine today, you of course blaming it on the weather and new location, but nonetheless, Minho became frustrated. 

He felt as though all the progress you both had made had gone down the drain and it wasn’t long before he became more snappy and demanding with his instructions. 

The mood quickly became sour; matching the downpour outside and it was on a matter of time before one of you was to finally snap. 

“1, 2, 3, and 4,” Minho calls out and you wind your arm up, like he taught you on the count. But unlike what was supposed to be the routine, your hand makes contact with the middle of his face with a loud smack. “Ow, fuck!” You gasp in surprise, your own hands coming up to cover your mouth as you turn around to look at him. “Are you trying to kill me?! What is wrong with you?!” The boy yells dramatically. 

You quickly lose the sympathy you felt, hands dropping to your hips, “Oh, yes. That’s exactly what I’m trying to do.” The boy sends you a glare, fingers still gripping on his nose. “I don’t know why you’re so pissed! I’m sorry okay, it was an accident!” You flare your arms up, not sure what else you could do. “If you did the fucking move like I taught you this wouldn’t have happened.” He retorts back, calmly yet full of venom. 

“I’m doing this for you, you know! I could’ve refused and you would have been stuck without that job, but I’m doing the best I can to learn this stupid dance and help you, so stop being such an asshole!” You huff out angrily, you can feel the redness in your face clearly showing your emotion.

Minho closes his eyes, taking a few moments to breathe in and out, perhaps to calm himself. When he finally opens them again, he glances out at the hard rain, “Let’s get out of here.” You keep your gaze on him, clearly confused at his words, “What?”

He goes to grab his leather jacket from the table along with his car keys, “We both clearly need a break from this, so let’s go, baby".

You ended up shielded from the rain in his car and you don’t question him about where he’s going, taking the time of the drive to try to cool down and listen to the radio. Watching the scenery out the window, you notice he drives further away from the resort. 

"Why do you keep calling me that?" You mumble to him once you feel you've calmed down enough. "What?" he asks keeping his attention on the windshield has the rain begins to slow. "Baby," you speak, "You keep saying baby". Minho merely shrugs, "It fits".

It was only a few minutes before the car came to a stop and he moved the gear into park. The rain finally seemed to stop completely and there is a small glimmer of sunlight bursting from beyond the clouds. “Follow me” he says, pushing his jacket off and making his way out of the car and into the trees in the distance. You do as he says, following his lead, only half joking in your head about how you hope he doesn’t plan to murder you after you smacked him in the face.

The sounds of your shoes against the leaves and dirt seems to echo in the large empty woods and you follow the boy silently for another five minutes from the car. A few steps in front of you, Minho finally comes to a stop and as you catch up to him you see you’ve come to a small cliff of sorts. Looking down you see a small stream, full of water from the rain but not running quickly. The drop isn’t terribly far, but it is further than the next piece of land across the way. In fact, the other side has been connected by a large fallen tree. The brown wood lays on either side of the land, acting as a bridge above the water below. 

“I think the most important thing about ballroom dancing, well all dancing really,” Minho starts to talk and you look slightly confused at him as he leans down to start taking off his shoes and socks. “Is balance.” He finishes with a small smile. Your gaze never leaves the boy as you watch him walk over to the log placed above the water. 

“Minho!” You gasp out as he places one of his feet on the so-called bridge. Though you knew the fall wasn’t critically high, it was still high enough to cause serious damage if he were to lose his footing. But he ignores your call, clearly less worried than you seem to be. You move closer, ready to help though you don’t know exactly what you would do if he needed it. 

Your heart races as he continues to walk carefully along the log, arms spread out to help him balance as he works his way to the middle, directly above the water. Finally making it to a place that pleased him, he turns around to face you with a smile, “Ta-da!” You can only frown at him, “Please be careful.” 

He chuckles at you, looking down towards his feet, “Don’t worry, baby, I have amazing balance.” He does a little jump, coming completely off the log before landing again. And though he lands perfectly you can’t help the little scream that comes naturally out of your mouth. The boy smirks at you and reaches his arm out to motion towards you, “Come on, your turn.” Rapidly you shake your head, "No way”. He raises his eyebrows and calls out your name, “You’ll be fine, I promise. This is technically part of your training, so you have to do it.” He walks closer to your side of the long. Though you give him an unamused glare, you move down to remove your shoes just as he did his. And before you know it you were taking your first, shaky, step on the log. 

“There you go.” Minho praises you as you start to walk shakily towards him, you breath shaking just as much as your feet. You don’t dare glance away from your footing, not wanting to take a single misstep. “Look at me, don’t look down.” 

“Minho, I can’t” you whine, eyes still not leaving the log. He reaches over to grab your hand in his, “I’ve got you, now come on look at me.” 

You shut your eyes completely, taking a deep breath to try to calm your pounding heart. You finally raise your head away from the ground (or lack of) and count to three in your head before opening your eyes. 

As you do, you make eye contact with the boy and he smiles excitedly, “Good. Now keep your eyes on me, don’t look down.” He takes a step backwards and you have no choice but to take a step forward in order to keep your hands together. 

You both keep stepping like that, slowly on foot at a time and soon Minho starts to hum a little toon, obviously one he seemed fit for the rythemed stepping you both were doing. You can’t help the small laugh that leaves your throat at his silly song and he glances at you with a smirk. He starts to walk towards you causing you to walk backwards this time and you surprise yourself with how calm you keep at the new direction, now more focused on keeping on the beat that Minho continues to make. 

After a couple of moments he lets go of your hand, “Now get low,” He starts his beat again and you throw your head back in laughter as he moves in a funny manner, legs bending in order to get closer to the log. You’ve never seen the boy dance in an unserious manner and laughter only grows in your stomach as he urges you to do it along with him. 

Not being able to help it, you dance along with him as he starts to whistle the toon. Before long you both laugh loudly, the sound echoing in the woods as you start to walk backwards on your own, clearly not worried about the fall and your balance as good as ever.

With a pleasant smile still plastered to your face you return to the solid ground taking a seat on the cool grass, watching Minho take his own on the log- legs dangling over the edge. 

Realizing this is the first time you've been with Minho outside of dancing, you become curious. Never once having talked to him about anything other than the performance. You enjoy the silence for a moment, basking in the sound of the running water and tweeting birds before you speak again, “How long have you been dancing?”

He turns his gaze to you, taking a second to collect his thoughts, “Since I can remember,” he hums “It was offered as an afternoon activity so I took it up so I didn’t have to be home as much.” You nod even though he’s removed his eyes to look at the log. 

“Have you always been as good as you are now?” Questioning with a smile you keep it as the boy looks up at you, an amused smile on his own lips. He shakes his head playfully, “Well I did plan to follow it into college.” 

Letting your gaze travel across his face, you lick your lips before asking yet another question, “Why didn’t you? Go to college for it, I mean.” Your voice is softer towards the end as you realize it might not be something he would want to converse about.

He starts picking at the wood beneath him and answers you steadily, “I’ve just never had the money for it. It was only ever me and my mom, so money was always tight.” Minho meets your gaze again, sending you a smile that could barely fully raise the corners of his mouth. You immediately regret bringing it up, knowing by now finances is not something you want to ever want to talk about again seeing as the conversations about it in the past weren’t the most delightful.

You swallow harshly, readying to apologize to him but he asks you a question before you can, “What about you? You’re going to a university in the fall, what are you majoring in?” You assume Jeongin must have told him something.

His intense eyes stay on you as you consider his question, already red in the face with having to admit your lack of plan- feeling almost ashamed. 

“Oh, I don’t- I don’t know what I’m majoring in. I don’t know what I want to do.” 

He stares longer and you’re surprised with how well you can keep the eye contact, finally he licks his lips and raises to his feet, “Don’t worry, you have a lot of time to figure it out.” 

Minho comes closer, reaching out to pull you from your sitting position, “C’mon, I’ll show you the lake.” 

The lake down the hill is much larger than that of the one nearest the resort. It is also much quieter, no one other than you both within the whole space. 

Minho has already dove in, keeping both his pants and his shirt on- the black material now soaking and sticking to his body. 

“Well come on, it’s cool but it feels nice.” He runs his fingers through his wet hair and you try to look too long at the sight before you. 

You take a breath and dive in yourself next to Minho, clothes and all. Returning from under the water you push your hair out of your face and gasp right away, “This water is freezing! What were you saying?!” You look up to the boy beside you whose eyes glimmer as he sports a devious smirk.

“Minho,” you whine “It’s cold and we don’t even have spare clothes.” He hums in response moving to float on his back, “Just keep moving, you’ll be fine, baby I might have some towels in the car.” He closes his eyes to relax in the water.

You huff, ignoring the drop of your stomach at the pet name he insists on using. Looking around you not really sure what to do. There's a sudden movement from beside you as the boy suddenly sits up, “Want to try something cool?” He smirks at you and you can’t help but to glare back, having no idea what he could be up to now.

“Let’s try a lift.” He says plainly standing up straight. 

“A lift?” You question.

“Yes,” he drags on, “A lift, you know like I do with Mo.” 

Your eyebrows furrow, “You said we weren’t adding the lift to the routine.” He hums, nodding and moving closer, “Not for the routine, just for fun. In the water is the best place to do it anyways. C’mon,” he closes the space between you to grasp your hips in his hands and you can’t help but a chill to run down your spin, “It’s cold,” you mumble but he merely grunts.

“Okay, when I count to three, you’re going to jump. I’ll lift you and you keep your arms straight out as if you’re Superman, okay?” You can’t help but smile at his explanation and nod. 

Strengthening his grip, he starts to count, “1,...2,...3!” 

You jump as hard as you could in the water and squeal when you feel Minho lifting you completely out of water and over his head. Keeping your arms straight you try to do as your told, but not even a second in the air, you feel yourself falling forward. You scream a little just before falling into the water and nearly on top of the boy. 

You come back up and you’re almost scared to see Minho but what you hear from behind you is a surprise. Turning to make sure you’re not crazy, Minho stands messing with his wet hair, laughing like you’ve never heard him laugh before. 

The laugh is almost cute in a way and you would’ve never pictured it belongs to Minho; in fact, you don’t think you pictured him laughing at all.

But here he was, eyes closed and smile wide as the laugh shakes his whole body. It’s contagious and you can’t help but join in.

Finally recovering, he moves towards you again, “See? Wasn’t it fun?” You keep your smile nodding up at him. “Here, this time try keeping your legs out straight just like your arms.” He reaches for your hips again and you giggle.

You don’t even know how long you both go like that, lifting and falling and laughing and splashing but it’s until your stomach is sore and your mouth hurts but in a most delightful way.

You reckon it’s the most fun you’ve had all summer and it feels like the Minho you’ve just spent time with is a completely different person.

Standing trying to regain your breath and ring out the water from your hair, Minho quickly moves towards you before you realize and he’s right in front of you.

He crouches so he’s in front of your face and you can feel his heavy breath crashing against your mouth. You stare at him in shock by his sudden actions but he doesn’t move. You follow his eyes when they move from your own to look down at your lips.

Your heart starts to pound as his large eyes look back up to yours and then down to your lips again. His hand comes forward to move a piece of your wet hair away from your face. And suddenly your breath stops because he place his lips on yours.

Blinking a few times before closing your eyes, you stay as still as him neither of you attempting to move. His lips are warm against yours despite the coldness around you and you can feel a drop of water from his hair fall to your cheek. There's a stillness in the air before Minho moves again, kissing you again but rather than the previous peck, he's slotting his lips between yours. At the feeling you push your lips back into his, eager to meet his slow kisses.

His hand slips beneath the water to lightly grip your hip so you take the chance to move your own hand to his back, gripping his soaking shirt. Standing in the lake kissing Minho slowly, the only sound coming from your lips and some bird in the distance, neither one of you moving for more, content with the slow kisses. But then a raindrop hits your head, only one but seconds later a steady drizzle has already started breaking you both from your trance.

He pulls away from you before a smile breaks out on his lips, he bites it as if to retain and you’re surprised someone so intense could look so cute.

Minho stands straight again, reaching for your hand, “C’mon, let’s get dry.”

You’re pleasantly surprised that despite the kiss you shared, your relationship with Minho seems to grow into a friendship of sorts after the endeavor at the lake. It’s as though you were able to break through whatever front he was putting up at first, or maybe you were able to prove something to him. Whatever it may be, you had no intention of asking him. Not when it could ruin what you had finally gotten to. 

“Hey, are you busy tonight?” Minho asks one afternoon after one of your practices. He doesn’t look at you when he asks, choosing to focus on fidgeting with the record player. You swallow, taking a moment to look at his back as you dab the sweat from your forehead with a towel. “After dinner with my family I believe I'm free.” You speak and furrow your eyebrows, silently contemplating if it was weird your plans were only ever with your parents. 

The boy finally turns around to look at you, “There’s a get together with some of the workers tonight. I thought you might like to come. Jeongin will be there.” He awkwardly scratches his neck and you wish he had left the music playing to fill the room with something other than the awkward tension. “Like the one I went to before, with the dancing?” Asking a question, you try to get more information. “Sort of,” He says “Smaller though. And it’s at one of the rooming houses so there won’t be that much room for dancing. It’ll probably be more of a hang out.” 

You purse your lips, not really sure why you’re contemplating. It’s not like you have anywhere else to go, and you would usually not want to invite yourself somewhere you’re not welcomed, but Minho asked you himself. “Yeah, sure. I’d like to come.”

And merely hours later you find yourself in a cramped employee house, squished on a chair that wasn’t made for two people. Yet you consider yourself lucky it was Jeongin you’re smushed against. Though you enjoy Jeongin’s company on a regular basis, you let your eyes wander the room as he drags on about a pair of college girls he got to help out all day to some fellow workers sitting across from you. 

Maybe it was a bit foolish of you to expect Minho to actually hang out with you at the get together with many of his friends, but he was the one that invited you here. Since you both shared a kiss in the lake the other day he has yet to mention it. Sure you were thankful for his growing friendship but how were you supposed to kiss him like that and pretend it never happened, especially after you spent a better half of your time ogling over him. It's not like you were expected a date tonight, although you did steal one of your sisters skirts and perfume, but at least something from the boy would be nice. Yet, since you arrived with Jeongin you’ve only seen glimpses of him from across the room. 

You don’t know how much time you sit there, pressed almost uncomfortably against the boy as he talks with the people around him. Though he is a gentleman of sorts, frequently asking if you’re okay, needing anything, or just bringing you into the conversation. 

The music was blaring from the speakers, the tunes sounded much like the ones that were played the night you first danced with Minho, and the room had gotten more hazy since you first arrived. 

“Hey,” you hear from your right and you straighten up with a start from where you were leaning against your propped elbow. You can’t help the smile that grazes your lips as you see the familiar dancer pulling up a stool to sit next to you. “Hey,” you reply back, happy to finally get to see him here. He returns your smile before moving his attention to a couple of boys across from you that Jeongin was talking to before, quickly falling into conversation with them. 

As more time passes you notice Minho moves closer to you as the drink in his cup slowly grows emptier. Since Minho has joined, you joined the group conversation more actively, laughing and joking with everyone like they were your long-time friends.

It wasn't long before you watched the boy sitting across from you lean back in order to pull something out of his front pocket. His hand emerges with a tiny plastic bag which seemed to be filled with a white powder of sorts. He leans forward to the coffee table placed in the middle of the small group of people, pushing some empty bottles around in order to clear some space. “Oh, c’mon guys, seriously?” You turn to look at Minho who speaks up as the boy empties the contents onto the table. He rolls his eyes bringing his cup to his mouth to finish the last of his drink. 

The boys don’t seem to notice, or care for that matter, at Minho’s words. The pair of them scooting closer to the table in order to separate the powder into neat lines with the help of a piece of paper. 

You’re not that naive, you knew the drug even though you had never seen it in person and it still surprises you that no one else in the room is as shocked as you are at their actions. One of the boys leans down to snort the line, using the help of a short rolled up piece of paper. Your eyebrows furrow watching in pure curiosity, never have you seen any drugs, let alone seen someone do any drugs. 

He comes up with a smile wiping his nose on the back of his hand, automatically making eye contact with you across from him. “Wanna take a hit?” He asks in such a friendly manner you almost forget what he was offering. You turn to look at Jeongin; he merely purses his lips and shrugs his shoulders, clearly not wanting to be in charge of any decisions you’re going to make tonight. 

You take another look at the boy making the offer; he looked fine, nothing about him looked like any of the warnings that taught you in school. Even at the moment he didn’t even look like he was experiencing any side effects and maybe that’s why you hesitate a moment before slowly leaning forward, reaching your hand out to grab the paper. 

“Are you fucking serious?” You snap your head in surprise at the outburst next to you, Minho standing up from his seat in order to yell, but you’re surprised he wasn’t looking at you but at the boy. “You guys can fuck around and fuck up your life all you want but don’t bring anyone else into it. Don’t ever offer her anything again, you got it?” before turning to you, "Don't be fucking stupid". His face is bright red when he finishes his sentence throwing his cup to the ground and kicking over the stool he once sat on. “Fucking assholes,” he mumbles before making his way out of the small house with a slam of the door, never once sparking you a glance. 

The rest of the group merely chuckles, obviously not phased by Minho or his words. You feel Jeongin grasp your arm lightly next to you, “Let’s go,” He whispers in your ear and you gladly get up off the chair and follow him out the door leaving the loud music and crowded space behind. 

Jeongin slowly walks with you back to your room and you bask in the silence, overthinking about how embarrassed you are. Embarrassed you almost made a dumb decision and Minho of all people had to be the one to stop you, and he made it very clear that was something he was not happy about. 

“I’m really sorry, Jeongin” you finally speak up as you get closer to where your room is located, “I really wasn’t thinking, I have no idea what I was doing.”

“You don’t have to apologize, I don’t think taking one hit ever would do something to you, honestly. But Minho has a bad history with shit like that so he freaked out easily. He was trying to protect you, I don’t really think he was angry at you. Plus he had a lot to drink tonight.” The boy trails off. 

You can’t help but wonder about the history Minho has but you figure it’s none of your business and if you really wanted to know you should ask him and not get the information unknowingly from his cousin. 

You finally reach your door and you turn to Jeongin, “Thanks for walking me back. I’m sorry for ruining tonight.” He only chuckles at you, “Stop worrying about it so much, go on and sleep it off. Just forget about the whole thing!” He sends a friendly smile your way and you try to send one back, “Thank you, Jeongin. Well anyways, if you see Minho tell him I’m sorry.” You pause, “And tell him thank you.” You reach for your doorknob as Jeongin brings his hand to his forehead in order to salute your requests. 

You laugh at his actions before finally entering your room ready to sleep and forget all about the incident.

The next couple days go smoothly, you’re happy not to mention anything about the party when you’re with Minho and you’re even happier that Minho doesn‘t utter a word about it either. 

The two of you merely focused on putting the final touches on the routine, trying to perfect it to a point where you would look just as good as Momo would be dancing. 

And before you know it, it’s the day of the performance. The butterflies and nerves have been present in your body since the moment you woke up. You find yourself running over the routine again and again in your head throughout the day, over breakfast with your family, lounging by the lake with your mom, lunch with your dad, and now a quick volleyball game with your sister and Chan. 

You felt bad for being so distracted but you needed to have this dance down. Though you were confident at your last practice last night, now your nerves were so high you’re afraid that would be the thing to mess everything up. You couldn’t ruin it for Minho and Momo.

“I thought you liked volleyball?” Daisy calls out to you as she runs up to you, the game coming to an end. You pout slightly, “I do. I’m sorry, I’m just really distracted I guess.” You turn to look at Chan who had gone to say goodbye to the coworkers that were a part of the game. “Hey, what are you doing tonight?” You turn to look at your sister. 

“Oh Chan and I are going to dinner and a drive-in movie in the next town over. He’s working the lunch and dinner shifts the next couple of days so we wanted to do something fun.” She smiles, eyes wandering over to the shirtless boy across the sand.

You swallow hard, “Daisy, can you do me a favor?” Her eyebrows furrow as she turns to look at you, you continue, “Can you please pretty please tell mom and daddy that I’m going with you tonight?” 

She automatically looks taken aback, never having heard you ask something of the sort, “Why? What are you doing?” 

You sigh, “I just want to hang out with a friend. They don’t know him but I really don’t want them to push me to hang out with Neil again.” It’s not completely a lie so you don’t feel as bad as you should for asking your sister for a cover. “You mean the cute little baggage boy? Alright well, I’ll tell them. And Chan too I guess. Just don’t do anything bad, alright?” 

Pulling her in for a hug, you smile brightly not even correctly for her for thinking you would be with Jeongin. “Thanks so much, I owe you! Stay safe!” You dramatically place a kiss to her cheek, turning to wave at Chan as he walks over, and finally beginning to jog out of the sand to make it to your next location.

“Keep my elbows tight, shoulders locked, don’t look down.” You stand looking in the mirror moving your arms as subtly as you can, trying to practice even as Momo works around you on your dress.

She had been slightly tailoring one of her old performance dresses to fit you better and now just hours before the performance, you’re in her room as she helps you get ready. 

She would be doing your makeup, as it would be heavier than any makeup you’ve ever worn, and making sure your hair was in an appropriate updo. 

You let out a deep sigh staring at yourself in the beautiful dress, Momo chuckles at you, “There’s no need to stress. You know the routine, you’ve worked so hard. You’re going to nail it.” She runs her hand over the skirt trying to straighten a wrinkle.

Pursing your lips you let your worries tumble out of your mouth, “I know, I just” you shrug, “I don’t want to mess this up for your guys. You both really need this and I don’t want to ruin it because I’m not a proper dancer or because I get too nervous.” 

You look down at Momo and you’re shocked to find her eyes watering, you start to panic. “Oh! No! I’m sorry, I’n sure I won’t mess it up, I’m just nervous is all!” You step down from the small stool to put your arms around her shoulder but she quickly shakes her head, “No, no! It’s not that. It’s just you’re being so nice.” She sniffles, “You’re being so nice and you’ve been so nice from the beginning and I’ve been nothing but a bitch!” You’re surprised as she starts to sob, going to sit on her bed. 

“Hey, hey,” you follow to sit next to her, “Don’t cry, Momo” you reach to grab a tissue from the table beside her bed to hand to her, “I know you’re not really that way. You had every right to act that way to me in the beginning, I was a stranger and I saw you in a very vulnerable situation.” 

She starts to wipe her nose, “I was so mean and you still decided to help me! You gave me the money and you stepped in for me for tonight. I don’t deserve it!” Her crying continues and you sigh.

“I’m in a position to be able to help you, Momo. It doesn’t matter how you acted then, okay? I’ve seen your true self and I’m more than happy to help.” You nod, smiling at her and her crying finally starts to calm. “I hope you know how grateful I am.” She blows her nose and you give her a bigger smile. “Of course.” “And I really owe you one.” She adds and you chuckle, “Just make sure my makeup looks stage worthy tonight please.” She finally laughs and gets up to continue to get your ready before Minho come to get you.

"Perfect," She lets out as she places the final touches of lipstick on, a deep red you're not not used to and find yourself staring at the mirror in shock. "Do I look alright?" You ask, feeling uncertain under the dark makeup.

"You look beautiful!" She answers, throwing her makeup back in her bag. Swallowing hard, you decide if you could be subtle or not, "Does Minho usually like makeup like this?"

Momo's movements freeze as she glances at you, "Minho?" You feel your face flush as you try to shake it off, "Nevermind, I just-" She cuts you off, "You like him don't you?"

You study her face for a moment, trying to tell if the truth was the best answer. "I-yes I do. I like him, I'm sorry". She lets out a chuckle, "Why are you apologizing?" she moves to sit next to you as you speak again, "I don't know. I feel like I shouldn't like him, that it's wrong".

Momo only frowns at you, "Why would it be wrong?" You ponder the question yourself, why does it feel wrong? Because it feels one sided? Because you thought he hated you until not long ago? Because he kissed you but hasn't mentioned anything since?

You shrug instead, "He kissed me". She looks at you as if you were lying to her, "He kissed you?" You want to lick your lips but you remind yourself of the makeup, "Yeah, when we were at the lake".

The girl beside you hums, moving to fix a strand of hair she had worked for an hour on, her silence only making you more nervous. Maybe you shouldn't have confessed, that the kiss you both shared was meant to stay a secret.

A knock on the door interrupts you two, Minho peaking in before either of you could answer, "All ready?"

"Yep!" Momo stands, going to greet him, you stand on your own as he gives her a kiss on her cheek, finally moving to look at you. You look for something on his face that might tell how he thinks you look, that might make you feel slightly less ridiculous in the heavy makeup you weren't used to, but there's nothing. Minho only nods before turning to Momo again, "Well, we'll be off. Have a good meeting tonight".

Your stomach drops but you bring a smile to your face as Momo looks to you, "I'm so nervous". She smiles shyly but Minho squeezes her shoulder, "It's okay, it'll be worth it". She nods at him before turning to you, "Thank you again, for everything."

Nodding your head, you clear your throat, "I'm happy to help".

"Okay," she breathes out, moving to open her door for you and Minho, "Good luck".

You’re still on an adrenaline high as you walk back to Minho's car after the performance. Your heart is pounding and your palms still clammy but most of all you feel relieved.

You did it! You actually performed a full routine, with minimal mistakes, but you made it nonetheless. 

It was late at night now, only you and Minho walking outside to the staff parking, still hearing the lively show going on inside. You still feel giddy after everything as you both make your way through the gravel of the parking lot, so much so that when your heel gets caught and you slip out of your shoe you merely laugh.

Minho looks at you worriedly, moving to pick up your shoe. But a smile breaks on his face as he notices your good mood, leaning down to help you put your shoe back on. You gulp when he grasps your hand when we stands back up, both of you walk the rest of the way to his car. Rather than get inside, Minho stops in front of you, your back pressed against the black vehicle, his hand still grasping yours.

"Thank you," He speaks softly, "For everything you've done for us. I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner". A smile tugs on your lips as you shake your head, "There's no need, I'm happy to help".

You see him swallow before his eyes move down to glance at your lips. At that moment you decided you've waited long enough for another chance to kiss him, so with adrenaline coursing through your veins you make the first move. Leaning up slightly and moving your free hand to place on his neck, you press your lips against his.

There's a split second where your nervous he'll reject your advances, but it doesn't last long as Minho immediately returns your kiss, hand that isn't grasping yours moving to hold onto your hip. You kiss him urgently, desperate to feel like you did back at the lake, for his warmth to take over your mind. He pushed his body closer to yours, trapping you between him and the car and you attempt to bring him closer if at all possible.

Feeling daring, you tentatively poke your tongue to swipe at his bottom lip, but he pulls away. Breathing deeply as he takes you in before letting out a chuckle, he moves to check around the parking lot making sure you're alone. He moves to open the back seat of his car, raising his eyebrows before he waits for you to climb in.

It's cramped as he climbs in after you, but you would do anything to be close to him. As he situates himself back on the seat, he beckons for you to climb atop his lap. You rearrange your stage dress to help you sit comfortably on him, huffing at how difficult it was to move. At your frustration Minho looks at you with a smirk, hand coming up to move some hair that had fallen loose from your updo. "You look beautiful," he confesses and you swallow hard, had you ever heard a compliment from him before?

"You don't think I look silly with all this on my face?" You ask, think before hand he hadn't been impressed with the look. He shakes his head, "You look amazing. Now and even when you're sweating like crazy when you were learning the routine".

You bring a hand up to cup his face, not being able to believe what he was saying. Had he really felt this way all this time? But you don't want to think now, you only want to feel, to feel him and to feel the feelings you weren't sure you should be having. You move to kiss him again, much softer than before but he moves to meet you nonetheless, hands encircling your waist.

The kisses you share grow deeper and his tongue finds its way to meet yours. Both of them moving together almost desperately, leaving the sound of them echoing in the cramped car. Unable to help himself, Minho moves one of his hands up your torso slowly, tracing over the pattern of your dress before he meets your chest. He stills for a moment before moving to grope you over the fabric, the sounds you make spilling into his mouth.

A sudden burst of laughter causes you both to break with a start, you hitting your head on the roof of the car as you jolt. The noisy group next to you gets into their own car and drives away leaving you both breathing heavily at the interruption.

Minho chuckles, moving to rub your head where it had hit, "I guess we should be getting back". You nod, chuckling as you move to wipe the smeared lipstick that has made its way from your lips to his.

Whereas Minho makes his way to the front to start driving, you’ve opted to stay into the backseat to change out of your performance dress and into regular clothes so you could go straight to your room once you arrived. 

It was a slow process trying to get your dress off in a moving car but you tried to get yourself as steady as possible.

“You did great today, you know.” Minho speaks up over the soft hum of the radio. You chuckle starting to slip the sleeves off your shoulders, “I missed a step about 5 times, it’s a miracle I didn’t step on your foot.” You did make minor mistakes, as would be expected from your first ever performance and only learning for a couple weeks, but they were so minor the audience didn’t even notice.

“No, no. You did amazing.” He reassures you. Your dress is finally off and you grab your shirt to throw on, turning to look at Minho to thank him. But as you do, you make eye contact with the boy in the rearview mirror, his head snapping away once you catch him. You don’t say a word, silently slipping your shirt on. When you look at his ears you see they’ve become red as they peek through his hair at being caught looking at you changing. You climb back over the seat to return to your spot in the passenger's seat, biting your lip to contain a laugh that threatens to slip at how fidgety Minho has become. 

Ever since the performance ended, it seems as though a huge weight was lifted off both of your shoulders. The air between the two of you feels much different than before. You find yourself hoping things would be different now, from the kiss at the lake to the backseat of his car, surely they were enough for you both to have something, you couldn't be alone in your feelings.

You turn to look at the window as you get closer to the resort. You don’t know what Minho is thinking or feeling and it drives you crazy, but what you do know is you don’t want to separate from the boy tonight.

Minho drives his car up near the staff housing, finding his usual spot before putting it in park. You stay seated and he gets out himself and makes his way around the car to open your door for you. You give him a sweet smile as you join him outside the car, not moving much except to allow him to shut the door. 

It seems he’s in no rush to leave either as he stays planted in front of you. 

The moon is the only light provided outside at this time of night but even so, it was bright enough for you to see Minho’s beautiful eyes. His eyes that were only glued on you. 

You watch silently as they move across your face, though you don’t feel a bit self conscious, your heart still races being under his gaze. 

You feel the warm tips of his fingers brush against yours, merely feeling the pressure of them together before he fully laces them together. 

You’ve held Minho’s hand in yours countless amounts of times over the weeks of dancing, yet nothing could even prepare you for the feeling of sharing his touch tonight. 

You lift your head up more in order to observe the boy just as he observes you, smiling even more as he moves his thumb to graze over your hand. 

It’s all very peaceful, the cool summer night quiet, nothing but some bugs chirping in the grass. 

But a noise breaks through the peacefulness, you both turn to look at the sound of the gravel crunching next to you. You squint at the person making their way over and as he comes closer you realize it’s Jeongin.

“Minho!” He yells out of breath as he runs to get the boys attention. 

“Hurry, come quick,” he pants “It’s Momo!”

You enter Momo's room after the boys and immediately gasp at the sight. Momo is laid on her bed in the middle of the room, sweat evident on her whole body and he twists and turns, obviously uncomfortable with the groans leaving her mouth.

There’s another girl by her side, pressing a washcloth to her forehead. “What the hell happened?!” Minho yells, moving over as quickly as he came to Momo's side. “It-it was her boyfriend!” Jeongin stumbles out. Minho looks at his cousin confused, “I thought he came to take her to the program?”

The girl beside her speaks up, “He insisted on taking one last hit before they left, you know how she can’t refuse him. But once he saw how she reacted he left!” Jeongin chims in, “He took the fucking money and was gone without a word! His shit must have been laced with something” His anger and worries making him red in the face. 

“Fuck,” the dancer reaches to move Momo’s hair out if her face trying to gain her attention, “It’s much worse than before because she’s been clean these past weeks leading up to the program.”

You stand near the entrance feeling helpless. There was only one way you could think to help her. It was a risk but if it meant helping Momo you would do it. You quickly turn and run out the door.

Your dad follows you in a rush, doctor bag in hand, as you lead him to Momo’s room.

You don’t give him any details other than one of your friends urgently needed his help. He comes without question.

You open the door for him but choose to stay outside while he does his work. And moments later Jeongin and Minho join you on the porch, only the girl staying in order to not crowd Momo. 

Out of the three of you, no one utters a word the whole time. Only worried tension fills the air as you all pace the area and wait to hear any news about her.

It’s sometime later that your dad finally comes out of her room. Wiping his hand on a handkerchief, he speaks to no one in general, “She should be fine now. The medicine I gave her has helped but she’ll be pretty tired for the next 12 or so hours.” He puts the wipe back in his pocket, “She needs to get help soon though, proper help that is.” He nods his head back towards her door, “I gave her the information for a rehab in the city, if you care about your friend you’ll make sure she’ll check it out.”

Minho lets out a relieved sigh and more toward your father with his hand outstretched wanting to meet his, “Thank you, really, sir. I can’t thank you enough.” But your father merely glances down at the boy's hand before moving towards the steps, obviously having no intention to shake it, “Make sure she drinks a lot of water and eats something, preferably bread.” He makes his way on the steps and calls out your name, “Lets go. And take that stuff off of your face before your mother sees you.” He calls referring to your stage makeup. 

You swallow hard, glancing back at Jeongin and Minho who are just as surprised as you are at your father's actions. 

You reluctantly turn to follow the man before you can cause any more trouble.

Taglist: @linocvp1d @blankdyean @adeards @lomllino @brooklynie @noellllslut @djeniryuu @eternitywaveshello @drhsthl @urmomma0324 @stormy-skies-falling @dinonuguaegi

Copyright © 2023 by nczennie. All rights reserved.

🌼 All feedback is appreciated and welcomed 🌼

[rosemary-oldsoul]

who failed you, darling?

pairing: ot8; bang chan x fem!reader

genre: idol!au, fluff/angst

w.c: 658 (that’s a bummer)

description: and just like that they realized, wishes did not need to be heavy

a/n: jus some feels for all of you. The reader will make an appearance in part 2 if you all like this , her appearance is one of the main reasons I wrote this. also the reader is closer to Chan than the other members but yeah everyone knows her. <3

It was just a question, not even a part of the script- just an alternative in case some parts get edited and there’s not enough screen time. A thoughtless question on their end but for the kids it was finally something they could answer earnestly. Unfortunately, some still didn’t have that liberty.

“Is there something you would like to wish for?”

As the eldest Chan was to go first but the answers, surprisingly, on request of the director were to start from Lee Know who had constantly been blinking his eyes the entire show

“I wish to be able to express in a way that is acceptable. I...have a hard time formulating sentences in a way that could give my thoughts meaning so I resort to doing things- through actions, but... I’ve come to figure out that not everybody’s emotions can be adjusted according to my difficulties. I’m not mean everyone. I’m just learning and it’ll take me some time, okay?”

since they were made to sit in a way where no one could meet others’ eye, it was safe to say Lee know had stopped his blinking until he was sure no tears would escape.

Chan hadn’t expected the question to be answered this way, it seems today they were going to be true to themselves.

“ah...” he was sure his ears were turning red, his nervous giggle had already appeared

“I wish to be gentle with my ways. Of handling mistakes, working hard, resting, sleeping. All of it. All of me. Just a few days ago someone told me that my words feel empty- that since I don’t heed them at all, they feel soulless. It was not offensive, just shocking because I felt sorry? I think. For myself? For others? because they deserve so much, no? For the love they give me. But I want this for myself, for my words to feel true to me. Yes. I wish to be good to be myself”

and just like that Minho’s head found refuge in his hyungs’ neck and the message was understood by all kids.

‘Oh, we’re all crying today’

Felix was already scrunching his nose when his turn came. His careful words did not agree with his heart -running miles, miles away to hide from confrontation.

“I wish there’ll come a day where I’ll bring justice to my dreams.Somewhere, at least, in some ways I still find myself in that room where I was eliminated. It hurt, not only because it was unnecessary but also because I was made to doubt myself, my abilities, and sometimes without realising I find myself working only for that, only to not get eliminated. It is unfair isn’t it? This used to be my dream once.”

In Seungmin’s mind it was unfair, their source of warmth was now hindered with wisps of tears, and trembling hands.

“I wish to smile freely some day. Since I love making people laugh it should be as easy for me to laugh, no? This is what I keep thinking whenever I hide my smile but for the longest time I was made to believe my smile is not good . Maybe because I never really said anything people must’ve thought I also feel nothing regarding it. That was my justification all this time. And despite thinking of myself as someone I can be proud of, make others feel proud, I’ve never really given myself or my insecurities any consolation. Yes , I wish I’d realised this sooner.”

and you thought you would remember it forever,

eight boys huddled together, providing comfort to each other through silent words and held hands, failed to notice how it had all turned quiet for them.

fingertips on astonished lips, shushed whimpers all in an effort to give respect. To these young souls and maybe theirs ,who were robbed of a childhood they all deserved,

somewhere we are all to blame for each others tears.

[subskz]

LEE FUCKING MINHO

when this mf showed up i lost it for a sec bcuz i thought he might be chan,,, then i thought it was y/n’s ex nd i was like AW HELL NAH BROTHER 😐 then you hit me wit the “it’s raining” nd i was like LEE NAURRRR THE FUCKEN BB1 CALLBACK?!?! I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU ACTUALLY

i fr think that if anyone else wrote that makeup scene i woulda still been mad asl at minho but of course,,, you nd yr rinnie magic,,, I WANTED 2 B SO PISSED AT HIM BUT YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME FALL FOR THIS MF IT’S SICK!!! bro thought he was putting 2 and 2 together but he was rlly putting 5 and 7 together bcuz it dozen add up 💀 and i #love that he was still so minho about it like annoying nd cheeky and he didn’t say he was sorry but he still admits he was wrong…… dawg. alr lee know you ate that one thing

y/n missing binnie and him trying 2 reach out to her got me so bad btw like,,, idk friendship breakups hurt just as much nd u captured that saur perfectly 🥲 i was boutta cry right wit her wanting her bestie back

LOCAL CATBOY SAVES EVERYTHING!!! i’m losing my mind over this image i love it so much 😭😭😭 i keep every edit u make in a lil treasurebox i hope u know!

HAHAHA i intentionally didnt say lino’s name until later in the scene for that reason >:) but naturally u caught on right away i’m so delighted u remembered his first line in the story! i thought it’d be a nice lil parallel…the first time the reader finds lino he’s drenched from the rain, then we come full circle to him finding her like that!

that’s so sweet of you to say thank you 💔 it makes me really happy that you liked how their conversation was written! i wanted to keep it true to lino’s slight awkwardness when it comes to opening up while also making it clear that he knew he was in the wrong…but yes hehe his pride wasn’t completely fizzled out for him to say the dreaded s word. ALSO “bro thought he was putting 2 and 2 together but he was rlly putting 5 and 7 together bcuz it dozen add up” i NEED you to know how badly this sent me LMFAOO HOW DO U COME UP W THIS STUFF??? 😭😭😭 there are near tears in my eyes from laughing it’s so clever

ur exactly right abt friendship breakups, they can hurt even more sometimes esp in a case like this where the reader realizes she’s uprooted everything good that had come into her life over the past year ㅠ i’m so glad you felt it was depicted properly, you always cheer me on so much i can’t thank u enough my dear! <3

[myjisung]

stray kids : things they would get jealous about !

content. stray kids ot8, gender neutral reader, jealous!skz

warning. none

a/n. would you guys be interested in another post like this one about how they would act when they feel jealous? if so, let me know by sending in a request. also, this is just my opinion! call those headcanons if you want :-)

bang chan ( 방찬 )

he tries so hard not to be jealous. so so hard; he doesn't want to be nor does he want to feel like it, but he cannot help it. chan gets really insecure at times. even if you tell him that he's perfect, he knows he isn't and there's nothing you can do about it. he has told you that, if you find better than him, he won't try to hold you back. instead, he'll vouch for your happiness. but honestly, chan cannot help but feel jealous when someone expresses interest for you. it could be as innocent as possible, he'll still get all up in his own head and feel awful.

lee know ( 리노 )

even if he doesn't seem like it, minho strikes me as the casually jealous type. one thing that rubs him the wrong way and pushes all of his buttons is when someone comes up to you when he is right there and you engage in a friendly conversation with them. even if you might not realize that person is flirting with you, minho would get extremely annoyed. in those moments, he'd straight up just step away and let you do your thing until you feel like joining him again.

changbin ( 창빈 )

he loves to say he doesn't get jealous. and it's true, he doesn't, most of the time at least. however, much like everyone, some things are too much for him. changbin would get jealous over you choosing to hang out with someone else over him. call him childish, he doesn't care, it upsets him. he values his time a whole bunch and spending quality time with his s/o is one of the ways he shows love. so if you ended up choosing someone else to spend time with over him, he'd get beyond annoyed.

hyunjin ( 현진 )

now that guy; how do i put it—he's very jealous. he tries not to be! he really does. hyunjin knows how frustrating he can get at times and tries his best to not overthink. but, let's be honest, anything would send him over the edge. if he has made it clear that you both were together and someone still came too close and tried to make moves, he'd get pissed off, both at that person and you if you allowed it to happen. hyunjin always draws clear boundaries when in a relationship and he wants you to do the same.

han ( 한 )

again, not much of the jealous type. jisung doesn't care much and actually loves to make fun of people who feel jealous in relationship. he trusts you and never fails to tell you that. what he doesn't tell you however is that he cannot help but feel his heart crumble when you dish out compliments to everyone but forget about him. even if he tries to hide it, jisung craves for your validation. so, disregarding him that way would make him feel envious of those you compliment.

felix ( 필릭스 )

casually jealous, felix tries his best to get better at not showing it. but it's difficult, especially if your ex is still in the picture. felix doesn't understand why you'd still be friends with them. he'd get jealous if you hung out with that person, called them right in front of him and even more so if you went to meet them without him. he trusts you, yes, but he doesn't trust your ex.

seungmin ( 승민 )

another one who doesn't get jealous that often. he knows how to talk himself out of feeling insecure. one thing that would send seungmin spiraling however is if you were still friends with someone you were in a "situationship" with. he knows you're not together and you're not trying to do anything behind his back but he's not too sure about that friend of yours. he'd get all crabby when he catches you texting that person when you're hanging out together. after all, if that person was once interested in you, they might still feel the same way and try to make some moves.

i.n ( 아이엔 )

though he tries his best to not feel that way, jeongin cannot help but get jealous whenever you take advice from everyone but him. he'd wonder why you listen to absolutely all your friends and acquaintances but seem to disregard every single one of his pieces of advice. he doesn't mean to force you to follow his lead, not at all, but it's the fact that you listen to other people that would make him feel uncomfortable.

[chiskz]

▶️ [슈취타] EP.5 SUGA with CHICHI

♡ 일본의 위대한 사랑의 함정에 빠졌다! / 게으른 고양이 vs 작은 호랑이 ! ♡ caught in the trap of Japan's great love! / lazy cat vs small tiger!

-> Suchwita (슈취타) is a variety web series starring SUGA (BTS). The series features him chatting with guests while enjoying alcohol.

《♡》 Chichi's SUCHWITA Profile:

Name: CHICHI

choreographer, main dancer and oldest member of Stray Kids

"Who wouldn't take the opportunity to get drunk for free in good company?"

♡ A charming choreographer straight from Japan. ♡ Don't be fooled by her deep voice and muscles!

《♡》 [ xxxx ] - editors' note

Chichi enters the room bowing to the staff. She stops in front of Yoongi.

"Ah, should I bow? Or shall we shake hands?"

"Ah, no, no, I should... I should... should I?" They both laugh and bow their heads briefly.

"Of course, I didn't come empty-handed!" She bows with her head a second time, handing Yoongi the pink box.

"Pink, I could have expected that!" He laughs and opens it carefully to reveal the contents - a bottle of Hibiki (name is censored) Whiskey. "You really want to get drunk tonight!"

"I rarely get the chance!" She laughs loudly and they finally sit down. "And it's actually a collector's edition, you can't drink it!" [ whiskey, not for consumption! don't touch, just look! ]

"We've met before, so you seem relaxed!" [ big meeting of two introverts! ]

"Yes, that's true. But we shouldn't talk about the circumstances of our first meeting."

"That's right... we really should take this to the grave." [ great mystery shrouded in an even greater mystery??? ]

"Should we get rid of the honorifics on this occasion?"

"Did we ever use them at all?"

Yoongi looks straight at the camera as Chichi laughs in the background. [ SUGA's thoughts: she keeps exposing us ]

"This is my second tiger visitor in such a short time." [ first was HOSHI! ]

"Yeah, but Hoshi and I are different tigers. He's... a real tiger and I'm just... a big cat?"

"No, I wouldn't say that. I've watched a lot of your shows, a few before you came here. You're both wild on stage, but you seem really dangerous. You are a tiger."

Chichi covers her mouth with her hands, editors draw her blushes. [ is that the dangerous tiger??? ]

"I also listened to your solo digital album, Member Branding. Your voice is as impressive as they say."

"Aren't you praising me too much?" Chichi laughs, trying to hide her embarrassment. "But wow, you really did some research."

"Of course, who do you think I am?"

"A lazy cat?" [ CHICHI, straight to the point! ]

"So quests bring the drinks?"

Yoongi blinks in surprise.

"She really wants to drink now!"

Chichi laughs and pulls out the second bottle of whiskey today, Hibiki Whiskey - "regular" edition.

"For you, so you're not sorry you can't drink the one I bought you as a gift!"

"Wow, now I can not touch it at peace!"

"This is my favorite whiskey. I got it as a gift from a good friend in Japan once. It's a light whiskey, with mild dried fruit, a bit spicy, but everything is in balance. I brought a flavor with toffee in it. It's good when you want to relax and not necessarily get drunk, so I thought it would be a good start."

"If this was an advertisement for this product, I would definitely buy it!"

"Oh, thank you! I don't have many opportunities to drink alcohol for fun, so sometimes I just drink something light, mostly with Minho."

"With Lee Know... with Minho. Yes, we know each other!" [ Lee Know, one of BTS' past dancers! ]

"Of course you know him. He was a good dancer, wasn't he?"

"That's right, I remember that. He was really good."

Chichi leans her elbow on the back of the chair.

"So he's even better now!" [ tiger mom attacks! ]

"You're studying."

"Yeah, law. I'll probably be graduating by the time this episode airs."

"Then Chichi from the future, congratulations!" [ lawyer and choreographer! ] "What made you do this? I'm not saying it's bad or super weird, but most idols like to live in the moment. College takes a lot of time, and you didn't seem to have much time with your activities."

"I understand, I had fears too. I didn't think I could do it, but I thought to myself... The future is very fragile and uncertain. I want to be an idol as long as possible and enjoy it as much as possible, but the time will come when I will leave the stage. I want then to know that I still have something to do. It required a lot of self-denial and a lot of sacrifice from me. But I wasn't alone, I had my members."

"Yes, BTS members are also my strength. I understand that perfectly." [ two cats deeply in love with their members ]

"It's often forgotten, but you're the oldest in the group, right?"

"Yeah! I forget that a lot too. I don't feel it at all unless Seungmin painfully reminds me."

"You've lived your whole life in Japan. I also know that you're really popular there."

"Thank you! You're really praising me a lot today, I'll think you want something from me!"

"It's not like that, really! I was just wondering why you didn't decide to pursue a career there."

"Ah, a career in Japan? I don't know, now you've made me think about it... J-pop is a good genre of music, but I feel like it's still more entertainment-oriented, which of course is great! But still, I was more intrigued by the k-pop groups' system. There's a lot more place to display here, more opportunities to create something like a little spectacle every time."

"Speaking of the spectacle, you also have an acting career on your account!"

"I wouldn't call it that!" Chichi immediately waves her hands in embarrassment. "But yes, I'm also interested in acting and I managed to get a role in some interesting productions. I think that playing different roles has always interested me, mostly I showed it on stage. But I'm not thinking about switching to acting completely, it's more my hobby."

"I also looked up some articles on the internet to get a better point of view from ​​your fans. I can say for sure that you have become a great support for them. I don't know how to put it correctly, but according to many, you don't fit the idol stereotype. When people think of an idol, they don't have someone like you in mind."

"Ah yes, I've seen that opinion too. I'm not trying to stand out by force, although most people think that's what I do. Why a male group if I'm a woman? Why did I force myself to go somewhere I didn't belong in? But honestly, I don't care about such opinions. I fell in love with Stray Kids and their music, and music is universal for everyone, I wish everyone would think in those terms, in terms like Does this make me happy? Do I like it? Do I love these people? Do I feel good doing this? Instead of thinking Is this for women? Is this for men? What will other people think? Others will not live your life. They will judge you, give you an opinion and forget about you. You are the person who will be with you all your life, not them. Do everything to make you feel good."

"I know J-HOPE shares your view of the world."

"Yes, I think that's why we immediately understood each other and became friends. Please look forward to our collaboration with DIOR!"

《♡》

_______________________

♡taglist: @g4m3girl , @smh-anon

[jisungparker]

I'm gonna love you in every kind of way

pairing: lee minho x fem!reader

song: every kind of way - h.e.r.

themes: fluff, smut (warnings below), 3k

snippet: “Na,” Changbin says as the front door swings open, a smirk pulling at his lips when he sees Minho’s head snap towards it, only for him to frown as Felix and Seungmin walk in with the table for beer pong. “Think he just misses her.”

warnings: soft dom!reader, sub!minho, finger sucking, oral (m receiving), cum eating, exhibitionism, spitting, pet name (baby), party/gathering, alcohol consumption, non idol!au, established relationship

a/n: hey.. how y’all doing.. now you might be asking ‘hmmm, barbie, this is not a hyunjin fic like you said you’ve been writing?’ to which I would say.. nothing, because I have nothing to say. Also, I have an announcement *ahem* the rumours are true.. i bias lino thee pony. (Chan that was a joke if u see this xx). Now that I’ve distracted you enough.. enjoy! lmk if i left any warnings out! (ihatethisssss)

Minho is pissed off, but it never takes much to do that.

[22:32] lino: You planning to show your face tonight?

Unfortunately for Minho, you thrive on this very energy. Minho realises this as he glimpses just below his text twenty minutes later to see: ‘Read at 22:33’.

[22:53] lino: I know you didn't ignore my text

[22:56] lino: I hope you don't think you're indispensable

[22:56] lino: I’ve got girls lined up who’d reply in seconds

[22:56] Y/N: then text them

Gotcha.

[22:57] lino: Where the fuck are you?

[22:57] Y/N: why? han not around to eat your ass till I get there?

[22:58] lino: You’re meant to be bringing my beers

[22:58] lino: The drink here tastes like ass

[22:58] Y/N: oh no! apologies king, lia and i are picking up your beers right now xx

[22:58] Y/N: hope i make it before one of those girls on your roster gets you some first xxxxx

[22:59] Y/N: would hate to lose my only reason for living :( xxx

[22:59] Y/N: oh and make sure you don’t piss till i get there, i know how strenuous shaking is for u xxx

“What you smiling at?” Changbin asks around his beer, collapsing into the spot beside Minho just to take a peek at his phone. “The girls not coming?”

“Who cares- Oi!” Minho huffs, shoving Changbin as he reads your texts. “Piss off!”

“You know, I used to wonder how he kept her around so long,” Jisung chimes in, perched on the armchair to his left, sipping as Minho glares at him. “But I think it’s ‘cos she’s just like him.”

“Just like me how?” He asks, head tilting ever so slightly to the side. “I’m a perfect boyfriend. She’s horrible to me.”

“Horrible? To you?” Hyunjin asks incredulously, an open palm placed over his chest. “How could anyone ever be horrible to you?”

“I don’t know,” Changbin laughs, leaning away as Minho goes for Hyunjin. “We have plenty of beer here and you still asked her for some.”

“See? Case closed,” Hyunjin wheezes, sticking his tongue out when Minho retreats with his back turned. “He’s greedy!”

“Na,” Changbin says as the front door swings open, a smirk pulling at his lips when he sees Minho’s head snap towards it, only for him to frown as Felix and Seungmin walk in with the table for beer pong. “Think he just misses her.”

“Miss her? How can I miss her when she never leaves me alone?” Minho defends, grumbling about how the two of you spent all morning and afternoon together, swearing up and down he doesn’t care if you show up. He ends the tale before he slips up and admits it had been him who decided that, even getting annoyed when you kept telling him to go home because he kept yawning after tagging along to run your errands with you. “Listen, relationships aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.”

“What? Having a partner who loves you?” Felix laughs as he rolls his eyes. “You’re right, it sounds terrible.”

“It is!” Minho swears, glancing at the door as you and the girls finally arrive, his eyes catching sight of the heavy crate in your arms before rising to help you. “I’d rather die alone.”

“Bet he wouldn’t say that to her.” Hyunjin smirks, eyes widening as you appear beside him.

“Tell who what?” You ask, clearing the little oak coffee table they surround for Minho to place the crate down before pointing at it then to your boyfriend. “You owe me for that.”

“Owe you?”

“Uh- yeah, I’m not made of money, you prick. I also bought you lunch today after you followed me around downtown and moaned the whole time like I even asked you to come. Then you ask for beer when I know Changbin’s got kegs of it-”

“I already told you, it tastes like ass.”

“And whose ass you been eating to know that, huh?” When Changbin laughs, you grin before you squint at him. “What?”

“Nothing, just thought you made him hang out with you today.”

“Did he say that?”

“No.” Minho huffs, hitting Changbin square in the chest. “Just said I didn’t mind if you came or not because we already hung out all day.”

Your brows rise at this before you blink and let them fall, a small frown tugging at your brows. “You know, most people just kiss their girlfriends when they see them, not make them want to leave a party they never wanted to go to in the first fucking place.”

“What? I didn’t make you come?”

“Funny,” you hum, looking at the boys, “That’s not the first time he’s asked me that.”

You walk off when Jeongin calls your name to the sound of deep laughter, happily picturing Minho’s furiously red face.

+

It’s almost an hour later when he sees you again. Or rather, an hour before he finds you. You had been avoiding him, and at first he thought it could’ve maybe been about the money, which he venmoed you with a series of keysmash heart emojis. But after another twenty minutes with no sign of you, he finally rose from the couch, mumbling about needing to piss before moving in the opposite direction to the restroom and listening out for you.

His instincts prove right when he hears a squeal, your arms wrapped around Jeongin as your ping pong ball lands clean in Seungmin and Lia’s second to last solo cup.

“What’s that cup again, Innie? They have to down their drinks?”

“I think it is. Then the last one is body shots, no?”

“Yep, that sounds about right.”

“God,” Seungmin groans as he finishes his beer, looking at Lia in poorly veiled disgust as she necks her gin and tonic, whining- “you’re worse than Minho sometimes.”

“Thank you,” you say sweetly, grinning when Seungmin just glares. “And you’re worse than Changbin all the time.”

“Hey!” Changbin shouts from the kitchen doorway, startling even Minho who watched in silent amusement.

When your eyes meet his, you look away in time to see Lia throw and only just miss the cup in front of Jeongin. “Take a sip for missing!”

“We know the rules!”

“Then why are you still so bad at following them?” Jeongin defends, tilting Seungmin’s cup up further when he tries to fake his penalty.

“Innie,” you call suddenly, ignoring the fuming pair. Squeezing his shoulder, you pick up your drink and move towards the backyard before announcing- “We’ve got this in the bag, kid. Take the shot.”

Your inevitable win is muffled as you slip outside, making a point of sliding the glass doors shut behind you. As expected, the sound rises back up again when someone follows you out, chants of Jeongin’s name coming through for a short few seconds before they’re muffled once more.

It’s silent for a while, bar the trees swaying in the cool spring air, the hum of the automated pool cleaner and the scuff of your boyfriend’s shoes behind you.

Until he speaks.

“You mad at me?” You hate how soft it is, the whine almost fading into the background as he takes a seat on your deck chair, barely a foot behind you. And it isn’t because it’s cute, which you’d happily admit it is. It’s because it’s strategic. “I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Why’d you say it then?” You ask quickly, voice a touch too loud for the silent garden. “You really like doing that, Minho. Saying shit you don’t mean then apologising for it. Just don’t say it.”

“The guys were teasing me.”

“Since when did you not like being teased, huh?” You feel him shuffle closer to you at this, his hands finding your waist.

“That’s different.” He admits reluctantly, his chest swelling as you turn to face him, his lips slightly parted. “When it’s you, it’s okay.”

“Yeah?” You laugh, downing the rest of your drink before looping your arms around his neck, letting him rest his forehead on yours. “What about those girls of yours?”

He frowns as he remembers, cursing his cheap banter. “It was just a joke.”

“Jokes are meant to be funny.”

“I know,” he pouts, pulling you closer when you scratch his nape, rubbing your thumb beneath his ear. “Just wanted you here.”

“Thought you didn’t care if I came?”

“Argh,” he groans, frowning at you. “I already said I didn’t mean it.”

“Why’ve you got an attitude?”

“Because you’re not listening!”

“Then go talk to someone who will!”

“No! I wanna talk to you!”

“Then talk!” You laugh when he grins, his hands gripping you tighter. “You’re so annoying.”

“That’s mean.” He pouts, pinching your side before rubbing over the skin. “Say sorry.”

“You say sorry! You told the guys I made you spend all day with me when you didn’t wanna leave!”

“No, you say sorry for trying to get rid of me!”

“Minho.” You warn, he swallows when you glower at him. “You were sleepy, baby. And when you’re sleepy, you get whiney-”

“Thought you liked me whiney..” he whispers, pecking your bottom lip.

“I like you, doesn’t matter how you are.”

“Good.” He whispers, finally closing his lips around yours, humming when you press up against him. Moving a hand to your neck, his fingers grip onto your skin as you tongue the seam of his lips, parting them easily as you climb over him, your knees caging him on the deck chair. Slipping his hand down from your waist to your hip, he rolls you over him, your heat perfectly aligned with his hardening length. You still at this, lips leaving his with a pop as you glare down at him. He chases you blindly for a second, whining when he opens his eyes, finding you watching him. “What?”

“Is this why you came out here?”

“Huh?” His mind is still a bit fuzzy, full of the feeling of you above him, the idea of you riding him, of him coming. He quickly sobers when you laugh, moving to climb off of him. “Where are you going?”

“I’m not fucking you after you’ve been rude to me.”

“I already said sorry.”

“Did you? Are you?”

“You know I am..” He whines, forcing his glare away when you just stare back. “Y/N..”

“Say it, Lino.” You whisper over his lips, letting your hips roll over him again, biting your lip when he hisses, his hips rising up to meet you halfway. “Just say it, baby.”

“You’re being mean,” he mumbles, looking up at you in what he hopes is enough apology, his eyes gleaming in the moonlight. “This isn’t fair.”

“You know,” you tut, rolling over him once more, pressing a palm to his hip bone, sighing as he struggles to push up against you, “Good boys say sorry when they’ve been bad.”

“Then I’m not a good boy.” He says with hopeful finality.

“Then I’m not fucking you.” You say with actual finality.

It’s quiet for a second before he groans, throwing his arms around your waist, shoving his face in your neck as he mutters against your skin- “‘M sorry.”

“Huh?” You ask, dragging out the sound as you tug on his hair, pouting as he hisses, a glare on his face. “I didn’t hear you, baby.”

“I-” he starts, before swallowing. After a long, deep breath, he says- “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah?” He nods firmly, relaxing when you let your weight go, pressing yourself against him finally. “Thank you, baby. That was so hard, wasn’t it?”

“So hard,” he pouts, a relieved sigh leaving him as if he’d just faced Goliath. “I should get a reward for it, shouldn’t I?”

“Mhm,” you agree, slowly moving to pinch at his jeans’ button. “What does Lino want for being so good?”

He waits patiently, watching quietly as the words form and leave your mouth, your hands moving to unzip his jeans. When you look up, you find his eyes on your lips, the dark pair flicking up to yours before they lower again, his fingers following his line of sight as they press against the soft skin of your bottom lip. You open your mouth slowly, watching him shudder before he chews his lip, his first two fingers sliding into your waiting mouth, pressing down on your tongue.

Closing your mouth, you let your tongue circle the digits, watching him exhale as you release his length, closing your fist around him, pumping as you suck.

“Shit,” he whispers, bucking up into your fist as you suck harder, taking him to the knuckle. His hand closes around yours on his dick, his hooded eyes watching you thumb his slit before rolling the heel of your palm around his head. “Want your mouth on it,” he forces out in a huff, pulling his fingers out of your mouth before leaning in to shove his tongue in instead. Resting your palm on his jaw, you stroke the skin of his cheek before moving your hand to the back of his head and pressing yourself against him, making him lean against the reclined deck chair. Placing his head down gently, you pull away, watching him suck his lip, gazing up at you before mumbling- “Love you.”

“I know,” you hum smugly, smiling against the skin of his neck when he whines and pinches your thigh. “What?”

“Say it back.”

“You know I do,” you sigh, sucking on his tender skin, marking the spot over his pulse. When you pull away, he’s pouting. “What? Lino wants to hear it? Is it not the same as just knowing?”

Shaking his head, he warms at the lesson you’re sneakily teaching him, his neck burning as you nibble on his skin. When you say nothing more, moving instead to the skin beneath his ear, he whines. “Y/N..”

Pulling away to eye him, his skin noticeably more flushed as the plea rests on his tongue. He knows you don’t need to hear it, but he’s ready to beg for it. If only just to entice you that little bit more. But if Minho knows one thing about you, it’s that you’re fair. “You know I love you, Lino,” you whisper, smiling when he hums, his fingers gently gripping your scantily clad thighs. “Don’t think anyone could love someone more than I love you.”

He forces down a smile, sighing when you kiss him again before mumbling against your lips- “Want you to make me feel good now.”

“Can Lino say please?”

“Now.” He groans, his skin burning from your incessant teasing. You only laugh, kind of proud he lasted so long. He watches you lean back, tongue rolling in your mouth as you take him in your hand before letting saliva pass between your lips onto his tip, his head falling back as your warm spit cools in the night air. He hisses at the contact, squeezing the padding on the chair as you finally lean down, letting your mouth close around his head. “Fuck.”

You hum when he moans, his hand resting over yours on his jean clad thigh, the other just resting on your head, offering no guidance as he lets your mouth work him.

And work him you do, from base to tip, you let your tongue flatten as you glide it along the underside of his dick, the ridges sliding along the muscle, his tip easily meeting the back of your tongue before you swallow, feeling his thighs tense.

“Just like that,” he breathes, hissing when you tongue his slit, fisting his base as you work the tip. “Feels good.”

You hum around him, taking him to the back of your throat with quick bobs of your head, ignoring the mild burn as the head lodges in there, his length growing heavy with every suck. He groans on a particular gulp, nearly gagging you before your palms fly to his hips, pressing him to the deck chair.

“Shit, sorry,” he whines, the words easily leaving his mouth now he has what he wants. You feel him trembling under your palms, his dick twitching between your lips as you suck, precum and saliva squelching as you pump him in your mouth, his base painted a milky white. “Ugh- I’m-”

You only bob your head quicker, shallower, but quick enough to force his balls and thighs to tense, his cock throbbing as you hollow your cheeks tightly around him before he unloads in your mouth, your name falling from his lips in low, mindless mumbles. A sweet, awful chant.

When his eyes finally open, he finds you hovering over him, hands playing with his bangs, wiping the light sheen from his temples. He just blinks, chest rising and falling as he reaches for your hips, pulling you over him before you shake your head, licking your lips and swallowing the last of his cum.

“Want you properly now.”

“Lemme get you home first,” you mumble, ignoring his pout as you help him pull his drawers and jeans back up. “You can have whatever you want when we get there okay?”

“Fine.” He agrees, pulling you against him anyway, kissing your neck before try to stand, grinning when he just holds tighter. “Can we just sit for a bit?”

“Of course,” you hum, kissing his forehead as you watch bodies wander about inside, scattering from the glass doors.

+

“Where you two going?” Changbin asks as Minho clings to your hand, letting you guide him towards the front door. “It’s the beer pong final, I wanna play you and Jeongin!”

“We’re going home to fuck-” Minho answers for you until your palm meets his chest. “What? It’s true.”

“Then what do you call what you were doing outside?” Jisung asks, flinching when Felix punches him in the arm. “I- I mean not like we saw you guys. I’m just guessing.”

“Exactly,” Felix rushes, scratching his blushing neck. “We didn’t like see you guys have sex or anything.”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin agrees, “Head is basically just foreplay.”

It’s quiet as you all stare at Hyunjin, his face flushing in slow and painful realisation of what he just said.

Blinking, you open the door and say- “on that note, bye.”

“What?” Hyunjin huffs as his friends glare at him. “I would love to see it though.”

[bbyquokka]

I'm glad to hear from you again bae, hope ur having a nice day<3 I noticed your requests are open now and it's not exactly a request but I wanted to share this dream I had and if u could write a small drabble based on it I would be the happiest. So turns out I was in college (i think) with stray kids, they were like super popular and we were not exactly close but ofc I had a crush on Minho. and then one day he got sick and passed out in the middle of campus, for some reason I was there w chan and jisung and a friend of mine, and they asked me to call an ambulance and I did but started crying while on call because I was triggered (IN MY OWN DREAM 😭 and the next is sadly 100% true) and remembered a time when my mom had a pretty bad fall and I had to call an ambulance for her bc i was alone. so the ambulance took him and chan was there comforting me bc i told him why I started to cry and also confessed my crush. my dream leapt to me visiting Minho in his hospital room days after and we talked, and then he was discharged and we started hanging out but life hates me and I that's where my dream ended so, maybe a simple soft happy ending in which he had a crush on me too?

— the feelings mutual

→ PAIRING: Lee Minho x gn!reader

→ GENRE: College!au | fluff

→ SYNOPSIS: After crushing on Minho, you both confess in an unexpected place.

→ WARNINGS: passing out/fainting from exhaustion | hospital setting at the end

→ WORDS: 1.3k

→ requests are currently closed!

Feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

→ m.list

“You’re drooling, y/n.” Your friend giggles as they nudge you. 

“Huh?” You snap out of your daze, focusing back on your task of eating your lunch.

“If you keep staring at him so much, you’re going to burn holes into him.” Your friend laughs, causing you to flush an embarrassing shade of red.

“Oh, shut up.” You mumble as you pick at your food.

“Why don't you just go over there and talk to him?” You choke on your food, eyes widening at the ludicrous thought

“Absolutely not!” You finally manage to say once you have calmed down. Your friend frowns, a distinct pinch between their brows.

“Why not? You stare at him at any chance you get, y/n! Just go over and talk to him. What are you afraid of?”

“Rejection.” You state. Your friend sighs once again, shrugging their shoulders and resuming their task of eating. They start talking about classes and how boring it is and that they cannot wait to go home. You listened for a while, occasionally nodding to show that you are listening, however, your attention soon turns to the table where your crush is currently situated. A loud “YOH!” and laughter erupting from the group.

The table currently holds a group of 8. They’re the talk of campus. You cannot walk the corridors without hearing the name “Chan.” or “Jeongin”. It's not surprising that they're popular, they all have a range of special talents as well radiating with charism and looks. People either want to be with them or be them; there’s no inbetween. 

You too, also think they’re a charismatic bunch, however, only one captures your eyes. Lee Minho. You can't quite put your finger on it, but there is something about him that just draws you to him. Is it his looks? His talent? How he teases his members? Or is it his cute little bunny teeth? Or they way his eyes scrunch up whilst laughing. Whatever it may be, your crushing on Minho and your crushing hard.

You notice someone approaches them, handing Minho a letter; most likely a confession of their love for him. You watch Minho politely take it, smiling warmly before the girl rushes away, squealing and blushing pink. You sigh. Sometimes you wish you had the balls to do something like that. Some days you think about just doing it, just confess to him. But when you pluck up the courage to do so, all of it disappears in a second. 

“Why is he so cute?” You mumblem thinking out loud.

“Huh?” Your friend looks up at you before looking in the direction you're looking at before rolling their eyes and sighing. 

Minho can feel someone staring at him, burning holes into his back. He frowns, looking behind him and making instant eye contact with you. He gives you a small wave and friendly smile, causing your heart to thump erratically against your ribcage. You give him a shy wave, feeling your cheeks go red.

“You look like a tomato.” Your friend laughs. You huff and pout.

“Oh, shut up!”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Hey!” You turn in the direction of the voices, blinking before smiling as you see Chan and Jisung running towards you and your friend. “Have you seen Lino?”

You think for a second before shaking your head no slowly. ”No, sorry.”

Chan sighs frustratedly and Jisung chews his lip worriedly. They start talking between themselves, stress and frustration rising between them both. Jisung checks his phone several times, hoping for a message or a call for Lino

“Has something happened?” You ask carefully.

“We can't find him.” Chan states

“I'm sure he hasn't gone far. There can't be that many places to hide on campus.” You laugh softly, hoping it would lighten the mood a little. Chan smiles softly, nodding in agreement.

“We need to go! Lino passed out in the library. Changbin just told me!” Jisung states, worry evident in his voice. You all rush to Minho and true to changbins words, Minho is currently passed out on the floor, the remaining members surrounding him, giving him aid. 

You swallow thickly, memories and panic rising to the surface. It feels all too familiar to you. Your friend soothes your back gently, Chan asking you to phone an ambulance. You nod slowly, feeling yourself go into autopilot mode; flight or fight responses slowly kicking in.

You call the emergence services, putting your phone to your ear as you stare at Minho. Your eyes fill with tears due to worry for him but also because it feels familiar to you. Your friend understood straight away, soothing you the best they could. Chan notices, claiming you've gone pale. Your friend explains why Chan nods and gives a sympathetic smile. He, too, also soothes you, rubbing your back gently whilst thanking you.

“Ambulance please.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

2 days have passed since then. Once you got off the phone to the emergency services, you broke down in tears. You confessed everything to chan, told him about your crush on Minho. It made sense to Chan why you became so worried for Minho. Chan advised you to tell Minho how you truly feel. Told you to go visit him so it's just the two of you. You thought about it and decided to just go for it.

What's the worst that could happen?

You knock on the door, opening it slowly. Minho looks up at you from his hospital bed, currently sitting cross legged whilst watching tv. He smiles softly at you, a small that feels so warm and tender.

“Hi” He greets

“Hey.” You say shyly, walking inside and closing the door. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh y’know.” Minho holds up his hand that currently has a cannula inserted, a tube attached as it drip feeds him liquid. “Could be better.” He gives a light chuckle. You laugh softly, shifting your weight from one foot to the other.

Minho frowns, pointing to a chair that's situated beside the bed. You smile, feeling a little awkward as you walk and sit down. 

“Do you know why you passed out?”

“Exhaustion.” Minho looks at your shocked face, laughing softly. “Let's just say I wasn't taking care of myself. Late nights, bad diet, etc.”

“ Minho! It's important that you take care of yourself. You're important to many.”

“Oh yeah?” He asks, “Like who?” You swallow, biting your lip gently.

“Well, your friend and uhm–” You pause, playing with your fingers. Your heart thumping hard against your chests, nerves getting the better of you. You want to tell him so badly, but the words are lodged in your throat. You swallow several times to wet your sudden dry throat, licking your dry lips. You squeeze your eyes shut, opening your mouth to speak only for you to feel lips against yours before pulling away.

You open your eyes. You're instantly met with a flush looking Minho, nervously messing with the skin around his fingers.

“Did you–” You start off, too shocked to understand what just happened. Minho nods slowly.

“I like you. I like you a lot, y/n.” Your brain refuses to understand his words. Heart leaping a thousand beats as butterflies fill your stomach.

Lee Minho. The man whom you've been crushing on since forever, has just kissed you and to top it all off, he likes you too!

“I like you too, Lino.” You whisper shyly. Minho giggles, reaching out to hold your hand.

“I know, Chan told me. He told me to tell you my true feelings and that it may be mutual. So, yeah. I guess it was very ballsy of me to suddenly kiss you too. Sorry if you didn't like it.”

“No! I loved it!” You say, too eagerly.

“Then, once I get discharged from here, will you go on a date with me? That way, I guess I can kiss you some more.” Minho squeezes your hands gently, blushing. You laugh softly, stroking his pink cheeks.

“I’d love that Minho. More than anything in this world!”

→ note: thank you for the cute request and for being patient! enjoy!

→ TAGS [open]: @fluffylino | @chaneomma | @sstarryoong | @laylasbunbunny | @dilucpegg3r | @chanssmiles | @meltheninja13

[moonflowerchanniesgirl]

Serendipity

Zemblanity Part 2 Serendipity Part 1 

Pairing: lee know x female reader (referred to as Ember)

Genre: angst, idol lee know x choreographer reader, ex fwb to?, ex best friends to? some fluff toward end

Word count: 9.5 K

Warning: much angst, mentions of sexual relations (no outright explicit scenes), mentions of miscarriage, depression, swearing, an insert into the kingdom time period so a lot of references to that and what happened around that. Mentions of hyunjin’s bullying scandal

Summary: You never meant to meet him again, and after years of dodging him all the feelings and memories hit you all at once. Is it fortune or is it woe when you have to be around him again?

Authors note: this is not an accurate representation of stray kids or any of the idols mentioned but an interpretation based on an idea that stems from them. I’m not the greatest at writing a happy ending but I tried my best. Theres quite a bit of time that passes but I tried to make it as realistic as possible. I hope ya’ll enjoy.

“I'm sorry, I’m so sorry I can’t do it Saerin I can’t,” you could barely get the words out over your sobs. It had taken everything for you to collect yourself from the JYP dance studio and leave without showing everyone in the building how absolutely miserable you were. You managed to make it back to your apartment before collapsing on the floor and calling Saerin.

“Breathe darling I need you to breathe, remember the breathing exercise?” You could hear Saerin’s voice over the phone but at that moment she sounded so far away. You put her on speaker and dropped the phone beside you so you could move your hands onto opposite shoulders. You tried to breathe in and out as you tapped your hands against your shoulders while Saerin sent encouragement over the phone. It took a couple of minutes but finally, you managed to stay breathing on a steady rhythm and the tears had stopped.

“I can’t do it,” you said as your hands flopped down to your sides. 

“I understand, I’m sorry that I pushed this onto you.”

“How do I always manage to fuck everything up?”

“That’s not true.”

“The look on his face, I hurt him so much,” you could still picture Minho’s face as he left the room and you felt the tears threaten to come back. “He was crying. He hates crying. I never should have shown up in front of him.” You had never meant to hurt him. At first, you just needed to get away from him because you knew that if you saw him you would seek comfort from him. And then? Even the pain of losing your unborn child has become controllable, the fear in you grew. It was just easier to continue to hide, to run away. Eventually, you were sure that he would forget you entirely. Then you wouldn’t need to ever tell him anything. You would carry the pain and hurt by yourself. Your punishment to yourself while he would move on and be happier than you ever could. Instead, he hadn’t forgotten about you, you had hurt him so deeply that he couldn’t forget. “He recognized me right away and he asked me to explain.”

“What did you say?”

“I couldn’t explain anything, I couldn’t tell him and have him...”

“Have him?”

“Have him hate me any more than he already does…” you finally said it out loud, the reason that had been haunting your dreams at night. You never told Saerin because you never wanted to say it out loud in case you accidentally willed it into reality.

“That’s the reason why?”

“I know he hates me for disappearing and he has every reason to but… if he hated me for…” You could no longer get the words out. The one thought that you had when you hated yourself the most was that things would be so much worse if he hated you too. 

“He could never hate you for that.”

“He loves children, he often spoke about wishing he had a younger sibling to take care of. I once saw him help a woman with a crying child and the moment he held the baby, it stopped crying.” That memory had kept you up many nights after the incident. The smile on his face as the baby smiled at tried to grab at his face. Minho had looked over at you with the silliest grin as if to say ‘see even babies love me’. 

“What happened wasn’t your fault! You didn’t know.”

“But I should have known! All of it was my fault! If I just paid more attention!” You and Saerin had this conversation quite a few times and not once had she managed to convince you that it wasn’t your fault. You had just chosen to drop the subject because no matter what she said, you knew that if you had been a bit more careful…you could have kept your child alive.

“Oh, Ember…” You heard Saerin sigh and felt even more guilty. She didn’t deserve to have you here throwing a tantrum when you already were making things difficult by being unable to take this job.

“Just, please tell JYP I can’t do this, I can’t see him and he most likely won’t want to see me anymore either. I’ll take on more classes to make up for the penalty fee.” 

“Alright don’t worry I’ll take care of it, do you want me to come over?”

“No, I just want to sleep right now.”

“Okay promise to call me if you need me, I’m here for you.”

“Thank you,” with that you hung up and just closed your eyes willing the darkness to swallow you up whole.

You weren’t sure if it was your ringtone or the pain in your back that woke you up first. You slowly sat up from where you had fallen asleep on the floor and reached around in the general direction of the sound to find your phone. When you finally grabbed it you saw that it was 11 am and the number that was calling you was an unfamiliar one. You picked up thinking that it was someone calling about something related to the dance group.

“Hello?”

“Hello is this Ember?” You felt your eyes widen at the voice on the other end. 

“Chan?”

“Haha yeah, I hope you don’t mind I got your number from our manager.” “I see…” You had been sure that there was no reason for the Stray Kids leader to personally call you. Had Minho gone back and told him everything? Was this a call to tell you to never appear in front of them again? Your mind raced with all the different scenarios that would lead to Chan calling you.

“Our manager told us that you decided to back out on being our choreographer.”

“Um yeah,” you were confused about where this conversation was going.

“Could I ask why?”

You almost smiled in spite of the situation, such a reliable leader trying to figure out this situation himself instead of just listening to his manager. Such a nice person that you were pushing into a shit situation of having to find another choreographer with very little time to spare. “Just personal reasons,” was all you could say without directly lying to him.

“Does it have something to do with Minho?” The air left your lungs as soon as his name got brought up.

“What do you mean?” You knew that you should have just hung up and blocked Chan’s number but a part of you wanted to know what Minho said about you. How he explained what had happened between the two of you. What words he used to describe you.

“Our manager said Minho stayed later to work something out with you yeah? When he came back to the dorm he seemed quite upset but he wouldn’t say anything to any of us. And then this morning our manager told us that you were quitting. I was just wondering if maybe something happened between the two of you?”

“Oh,” you were relieved to know that Minho hadn’t told the rest of the boys anything but you also felt awful knowing that he had gone back to the dorm noticeably upset. You knew how much Minho never wanted to actively show others when he was upset or suffering. It had been one of the few things the two of you had argued about. When he had sprained his ankle but refused to tell anyone about it until someone noticed how swollen it was. You had scolded him the whole time he was getting it bandaged up while he just smiled and laughed like he wasn’t in pain. ‘A little rough wear and tear’ he had said while you just smacked him in the chest.

“Look I don’t know what happened but if it's because of something Minho said or did please know that it’s most likely a misunderstanding. He’s a bit rough with words but he always does mean well even if it doesn’t come across that way.”

“I know,” oh if only Chan knew how much you actually agreed with him. How many times Minho had criticized your dancing only to stay behind and practice with you until you were confident. How he laughed at you for forgetting to bring an umbrella only to walk you home even though he lived in the opposite direction. “Don’t worry it’s nothing to do with Minho, I just have some personal issues I need to deal with.” You added lying to Chan to your mental list of sins.

“Hyung?” It was soft but you’d recognize his voice anywhere. There was a sudden silence that came from the phone that you recognized as being put on mute. Just as you were going to hang up you heard his voice again, this time much clearer. “So you’re just going to disappear again?”

“I-” there wasn’t anything you could say back to him because that was exactly what you had been planning.

“It’s always so easy for you to just fucking leave huh?”

“I’m sorry,” you apologized to him once again.

“Do you know how hard it is to find another choreographer this late? Round one is in a week, by the time we find someone suitable we won’t have any time to rehearse.” You recognized the anger in his voice, the same anger he had when he asked you to explain yourself. 

“I can recommend some suitable people,” you said knowing that you would owe some favors but you were willing to do that and much more for Minho.

“It’s not that simple, our team at JYP needs to go over their work and multiple meetings need to be scheduled and we don’t have time for that.” You could hear a slight fumble on their end that sounded like Chan asking for the phone but Minho let out an almost growl-like hush and then you didn’t hear anything further from Chan.

You tried to think of a way to try and fix the mess you made but were drawing up a blank leading to your silence. The silence finally led Minho to speak again.

“I already know where you’ve been and what you go by so what’s the point of quitting and running away again?” 

It almost sounded like he didn’t want you to quit. Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to believe it, to believe that he wanted anything other than to never see you again. “I thought it might be better if you didn’t have to see me anymore.” You owed him that much truth at least.

You heard a snort come from the other end of the phone. “Ha, you really think that highly of yourself huh? I’m a fucking professional, I can put aside any personal feelings I have for the sake of my team. I thought you were a professional too Ember.”

It was both painful and a relief to hear him call you that name. To know that he was the still same Minho who put others before himself, who was willing to work with you for the sake of Stray Kids. Yet at the same time, it proved to you that you guys could never go back to how things were, to be just Minho and yourself again, lost in youthful innocence. If he was willing to go so far then what right did you have to inconvenience their group for your own sake?

“I understand, tell Chan and your manager I’ll be there at two.”

MIROH (Kingdom Version)

True to his word Minho Lee Know was a complete professional when you entered the dance studio, this time all eight members of Stray Kids were already there waiting for you. His expression did not change at all when you walked in. In comparison, Chan looked much more nervous as he glanced between the two of you. You weren’t sure how much Lee Know ended up telling Chan but you weren’t going to be the one to bring it up in front of all the others. You knew that Lee Know wouldn’t have told the rest of the kids anything so you kept your mask on in case any of them would have recognized you.

“I apologize for the confusion I must have caused,” was all you said as you gave them a sincere bow. The moment you straightened up before the others could reply you opened your bag and brought out your notebook. You motioned for everyone to join you as you sat on the floor. “I came up with rough positions and some ideas for what would look good. I’d like your input and if everyone is fine with my plans we can start practicing.” There was a moment of stunned silence as the kids clearly didn’t think you would be so prepared. Lee Know was the first to react and sit just close enough to be able to see the notebook pages you laid out on the floor. The others were quick to join him, Felix and Chan sitting closest on either side of you. “I read through the briefing and the first round for Kingdom is similar to the first round of Road To Kingdom in how the staging and cameras are set up. How familiar are you all with moving cameras and one-take shots?” You looked toward the leader Chan for an answer.

“Yeah we don’t really have much experience,” Chan answered with the rest of the kids nodding.

“There’s a couple of ways to do this first introduction stage. I’ve been told that you guys want to work the finer details of things out yourselves and that I’m here for general ideas, overall structure, and any help you might need. Here I’m going to lay out what options you have and you guys can decide which you like best.” You glanced around to make sure everyone understood (skipping over Lee Know ). “Since it’s the 100-second introduction stage you have the option to go relatively simple just focusing on your dance with a few camera angle changes. This option will be most familiar to you guys and would just be like performing at any normal music show. The most important thing to think about is how to change up some aspects of the original dance to spice things up a little bit. This option probably won’t super impress anyone but you have a bigger chance of playing the underdog card and wowing people with a much more dynamic performance later.”

“That sounds kind of boring,” Seungmin said while Hyunjin and Han nodded.

“In all honesty, this is kind of the route I wanted to suggest you guys take,” you held out a hand to stop Hyunjin who opened his mouth planning to cut you off. “ I know you have a fan meeting that you're already rehearsing for so this would be the easiest option.” You had asked for an overall schedule after you called their manager to confirm that you were indeed back on board to work with them. They had a fan meeting and 3racha had already planned out the hours they would be working to get an early start on making songs for the show and their next album. 

“What’s the other option?” Lee Know asked and you finally looked at him for the first time that day. There was the familiar fire in his eyes and you almost knew that it had been pointless to even make two plans.

“The other option is to start with the loudest bang. Go full out with camera angles, props, flips and tricks. I can’t speak for the other teams but I know that this is probably the option that The Boyz team are going for. You guys have less experience with this compared to them so that would most likely mean practicing till early morning right from the start of the competition and having a target put on your back. Not only would there be more difficult moves added but the most important thing would be working on timing for the one-take shot.”

“That’s more our style isn’t it?” Changbin said.

“Ember’s right though about the fan meeting practice and how little time we have.” This time Jeongin was the one that spoke and you were quite impressed with how freely they let the maknae participate in decision making.

“But don’t we want to look super cool in front of all the juniors and seniors?” Hyunjin chimed in with his thoughts.

“But the lack of time to practice might mean we mess up in front of them or worse someone gets hurt,” Jisung voiced his concerns and everyone fell silent. You could almost hear the gears turning as each member was weighing out the risk and benefits in their heads.

“Chan hyung, what do you think?” Felix asked their leader who had yet to utter any opinion of his own. Everyone turned to look at Chan.

“I think… that I will leave the decision to our dance team leader,” Chan said as he gestured toward Lee Know. “ I will trust his judgment on which one he thinks we can handle and would be good for us and support him in whichever decision he makes.” Everyone then turned to look at Lee Know who had a much more relaxed expression compared to the others.

“If you’re leaving it to me then, of course, it’s the second plan,” he spoke in the most matter-of-fact tone like the answer had been obvious the whole time.  “We’re pro idols so of course, we’re going to give the most explosive performance.”

“Ah hyung, why do you have to be so cool,” Jisung said as he lightly punched Lee Know’s arm and the rest of the kids laughed along. You could only smile and agree with Jisung as you laid out the plan for option two.

You winced as you watched the video of Felix colliding straight into Jisung and then missing his cue to help Hyunjin jump. The kids had just finished their camera rehearsal and you were all monitoring the footage. The cameras were still rolling so you couldn’t say anything yet but you watched Jisung and Felix like a hawk to make sure that they weren’t injured. You could understand the mistakes that Felix had made. The past few days had been a combined frenzy scramble of rehearsals till early morning, their fan meeting, testing out their props, and working out on the timing everything. You, Lee Know, and Chan had worked closely to make this performance as dynamic and tight-knit as possible. There wasn’t much room for error and if you had to guess it seemed the pressure was maybe getting to Felix. As the camera turned off and the boys walked back to their dressing room, you saw Chan and Lee Know grab Felix so you made your way toward Jisung.

“You okay?” You asked him as you walked next to him.

“Yeah I’m fine, how’s Felix?” Jisung asked as he looked around for the younger Australian.

“Chan and Lee Know have got him, probably trying to figure out if he’s okay. But are you sure you’re good? He landed on you pretty hard, any soreness or anything?” 

“Don’t worry about me, it’s okay if I get hurt but Felix he has more difficult dances to do so it’s more important that he’s okay.”

“Han Jisung,” You stopped and just stared at him while he stopped because you had. “Don’t you ever say anything like that again.” In the few days you worked with the boys you saw how hardworking and just generally nice they were. Oftentimes Jisung had been the one to crack jokes when the mood was down because everyone was so tired. He offered you food on more than one occasion in the wee hours of the morning when the sun had risen but they still needed to rehearse more. The fact that he seemed so okay with getting hurt if it meant Felix didn’t reminded you painfully of someone else. “Everyone on this team is important for this performance to be perfect so it matters if even one of you is unwell or hurt.” You repeated the words you had told Minho all those years ago when you were close enough to scold each other. 

“Ah, that sounds like something Minho hyung said once,” Jisung said it so innocently but you felt like you had been stabbed in the heart. Making as quick a recovery as possible you decided to focus back on the matter at hand.

“So Jisung are you okay?” You asked as you hoped that he wouldn’t notice how you didn’t acknowledge what he said. 

“Well, honestly my shoulder is a little sore from cushioning Felix’s weight.” 

“Alright let’s get you a sports patch for now and make sure to tell anyone if it gets worse.” You lightly patted his head to show how good you thought he was being. You pushed the memory of patting someone else’s head back into the corner of your mind where it had crawled from.

“Changbin said you talked to Jisung, how is he?” His voice nearly gave you a heart attack as you quickly whipped around clutching the tea you had gotten from the vending machine.

“Fucking hell,” you nearly screamed before you remembered that you were around possible cameras. You looked at Lee Know who had the ghost of a smile on his face before he retorted to the neutral expression he had whenever he talked to you.

“Didn’t mean to scare you,” he said with a slight shrug. “How’s Jisung?” 

“He’s mostly fine, his shoulder is a little sore but doesn’t seem injured. He’s got a patch on and he promised to go to one of the managers if the soreness gets worse. You could have just asked him yourself.” You replied a little bit bitter about how much Lee Know had managed to scare you.

“He doesn’t like talking about his own pain and would just tell me he’s alright if I asked.”

“So why did you think that he would tell me anything?” You asked before you could remember that you had been trying to only speak to Lee Know under professional circumstances.

“You were always surprisingly good at getting stubborn people to talk.” Lee Know walked away before you could get a look at the expression on his face. You stayed standing there for a few extra moments to convince yourself that the rapid beats of your heart were still due to him scaring you.

自神 Side Effects Gods Menu

“What do you mean Hyunjin went back to his parents’ house?” Lee Know frantically asked a very tired looking Chan 

“It’s the director's orders that he can’t be seen with us for a while when he’s reflecting. That means he can’t be spotted around the dorms either.” Chan spoke as he rubbed his temples and you could only marvel at the amount of pressure that he had to have been under.

“So they expect us to continue this competition show while all of this is going on?” Changbin asked with disbelief clear in his voice.

“All the members in the meeting stated that we couldn’t give up this opportunity because of him, and Hyunjin had agreed with them,” Chan said.

“Didn’t his teacher and classmates come out to defend him?” Felix asked, clearly confused by the situation.

“Yeah but public opinion still isn’t great,” and you had to agree with Chan on that. You had gotten numerous check-in phone calls and texts to ask you about working with Hyunjin and if he bullied you. 

“When is he going to come back?” Jisung asked the question on most of their minds and Chan could only shrug in response.

“Whenever they deem him ready,” he said, looking more and more defeated.

“That could mean never,” Seungmin suddenly brought the idea up and the mood in the room got even worse.

“Did you even try to convince them otherwise?” Lee Know asked as he took steps toward Chan. Every eye in the room went toward Lee Know.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chan’s voice was dangerously low and that’s the moment you realized what the kids had meant when they said Chan was scary when mad.

“I don’t know, I just thought as the leader you really just accepted whatever they decided.” The two men were now inches apart. Felix finally couldn’t take the intensity and tried to insert himself between the two.

“C’mon Minho hyung there’s nothing Chan could have said or done,” Felix said.

 Chan and Lee Know continued their staring contest for a few moments longer before Lee Know abruptly turned and left the dance practice room. Chan moved to follow but he was pulled into a hug by Felix. That was the moment when you and the other members noticed that Chan was crying. The other kids looked around at each other unsure what to do. Most of them moved toward Chan while you saw Changbin and Jisung look at each other and then at the door Lee Know left through. 

“I’ll go after him, you guys stay here and take care of Chan,” you said to Changbin and Jisung, unable to just be a silent observer in this situation. They nodded at you and you moved swiftly out the door already knowing where you would most likely find him. The rational part of you complained about what you were trying to do. After spending this whole time trying to keep a purely professional relationship with Lee Know, you were stepping back into a territory that was reserved for close friends. But you couldn’t help yourself not when you recognized the destructive behavior he presented. You pushed open the door to the stairway and was met with Lee Know sitting on the first step down. You didn’t say anything as you shut the door behind you and plopped down beside him.

“What are you doing here?” He asked the venom very clearly present in his voice.

“To listen to what’s on your mind,” you answered and from the corner of your eye, you saw Lee Know to relax slightly. Stairways were his favorite spots to calm his mind when his emotions ran too high. In the past, you were always the one to chase after him after he exploded at someone or something. You’d sit with him and the two of you would just talk until he calmed down enough to go back. Those were some of your favorite moments as he leaned his head against your shoulder and spoke his mind.

“Why do you even care?” His question knocked you out of your memories and you turned to look at him. The anger was clear in his eyes, and you started to wonder if you should have let Changbin or Jisung or any of his other members chase after him. Were you too cocky to think that you still deserved to be the one to try and comfort him? You moved to stand up and get someone else to take your place but you felt his hand grab your arm.

“Lee Know?” You were unsure what he wanted in this situation.

“You’re already here,” was all he said as he released your arm. You sat back down next to him. The two of you sat quietly not looking at each other. “Was Chan hyung upset with me after I left?” Lee Know suddenly asked.

“He was crying,” you replied, not softening anything at all. 

“Fuck,” Lee Know muttered barely louder than a whisper.

“You hit him where it hurt.”

“I know, but I wasn’t trying to hurt him, or maybe I was… I don’t even know what I was trying to accomplish by saying that to him.”

“You wanted him to hurt not because you wanted to hurt him but because you’re hurting.” 

“Why would I be hurting?”

“I don’t know why don’t you tell me?” There was more silence as you watched Lee Know try and process his emotions. Truth be told you knew the moment he lashed out at Chan what this was all about but you still needed him to process this for himself.

“Of course, I’m upset that Hyunjin had to go to his parent's house for the foreseeable future like some child put on time out.”

“And why lash out at Chan?” 

“The rest of us have no power but Chan might have been able to do something. He’s been here the longest and PDnim loves him.”

“You know Chan would literally give his life for anyone if you. So if there was something he could have done, he would have.” You knew Chan less than a month but you saw how he treated everyone and the things he did for the kids. 

“So he’s just as powerless as the rest of us.” Lee Know sighed as he leaned against the wall. 

“I don’t think there’s anything that anyone could have done in this situation.”

“So then what, we just wait until he gets the okay to come back?”

“Honestly yeah, wait for him, check up on him often to make sure he’s okay.”

“And if he doesn’t come back? What then?” The bite was back in his voice and once again it hit you how hard you must have hurt Lee Know. He wasn’t supposed to still be hurt, he was supposed to have forgotten you.

“You just gotta trust in him, in your team, and in your company. Everything else we have no control over.” You didn’t know what else to say so you just gave him the honest truth. He couldn’t control this moment and you knew that it killed him inside but you also knew that he needed nothing but the truth. No sugar-sweet lies because oftentimes those hurt more than the truth ever would. 

“I hate that you still know me so well to know exactly what I need to hear,” he said the bite completely gone from his voice. All that was left was tiredness and a tinge of sadness.

“I’ll go get Chan so you can tell him what’s on your mind,” you said as you got up and headed toward the door.

“Thanks,” his voice was soft but you heard it clearly and you felt your heart clench.

“I don’t deserve it,” you said just as you closed the door, hoping that he didn’t hear it. You walked back to the dance studio and knocked before pushing the door open. The members were now sitting down in a circle discussing something, they looked toward you in confusion when you didn’t step in.

“Chan, can you come with me for a sec?” You asked and Chan must have understood what you needed when he wordlessly got up and followed you out. His eyes were still a little red and puffy but it seemed the other kids had calmed him down enough that the tears had stopped. 

“Is he alright?” Chan asked as soon as you guys were a few steps from the dance studio. 

“Just a little emotionally wound up, I think by now the guilt of lashing out toward you is what affecting him the most. Be gentle with him yeah?”

“I know he didn’t mean it.”

“Well just let him apologize, if he doesn’t he might just explode.”

“You two-”

“Not now Chan,” you cut him off quickly and shook your head. You pointed him toward the door to the stairwell. “Go on, you two go and have your awkward moment.”

I’ll Be Your Man  Stray Kids Version

“Why do you only call Minho hyung by his stage name?” Felix asked as he stared hard at you. The two of you were in the practice room together preparing for his solo part of the next kingdom stage. The question had come rather abruptly out of nowhere and to say you were shocked was an understatement.

“What do you mean?” You tried to buy yourself more time to think of a more suitable answer than the real one.

“Well you call I.N Jeongin and Han Jisung but you always refer to Minho hyung as Lee Know.”

“There’s no particular reason,” you lied. 

“Alright then, I have another question then, why do you keep your mask on around us?”

“For safety reasons,” you pushed down the urge to adjust your mask. 

“You refuse to eat with us, let us take you home after practice, or even go to celebrate with us after we got first place.”

“I’m just here to help you guys with Kingdom Felix, nothing more.” Of course, you wanted to hang out and get to know the guys more but you knew that just you being there was hurtful to Lee Know so you kept your distance.

“Then tell me why Minho hyung always looks at you with a sad expression on his face and why Chan hyung makes sure to keep you two from being alone together?” Felix moved so that he was sitting right in front of you and held your hands. That was when you noticed that your hands had been trembling.

“Felix I-” you were unsure of what you wanted to say to him. You couldn’t tell him everything not when you hadn’t even told Lee Know everything. There just wasn't a lie well thought out enough to answer Felix’s observations. You didn’t even notice you were crying until Felix pulled you into a hug, your tears dampening his dark shirt.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Felix said as he patted your back in a soothing rhythm.

“I-”

“You don’t have to tell me anything. I was just frustrated seeing the two of you… you obviously care about each other so much so do you both keep this distance?” 

“I have to Felix,” your mind was running at a thousand miles hearing what Felix was saying. Had you been so obvious about how much you cared about Minho? What had Minho been doing that made Felix think he still cared about you? “I hurt him, I hurt him so badly,” was all you could get out, letting some of the truth slip out of you as Felix held you. “I don’t even deserve to be working with you guys at all.”

“That’s not true, we all make mistakes, and we all deserve to be forgiven for our mistakes. That’s what makes us human.” Felix tighten his hug on you as you continued to let your tears out. “I hope one day you two can work out whatever it is that happened.”

Wolf Mayfly 

You didn’t need to be at KQ entertainment since everyone had agreed that BB Trippin would be the ones to handle the dance collaboration for Kingdom but still you wanted to be there. You wanted to see how their dance team worked and be there for the boys if any of them needed you. The kids had taken quite a blow going from first to fourth and you just wanted to make sure that they were alright. You were just about to walk into the building when you heard a voice calling your name. You turned around and saw that it was Jae, he had also been in your dance troupe and was dating Saerin before they split up due to each other being too busy.

“Jae Oppa what are you doing here?” You asked as he engulfed you into a hug.

“I’m part of BB Trippin silly,” he said and you remembered hearing something about how he left the old dance troupe soon after you and Saerin did. The two of you walked into the building with him leading you toward a room, his hand around your shoulder. “It’s been so long since I last saw you, I almost couldn’t believe that you were the one working with Stray Kids.” The two of you entered the room that turned out to be a little sitting area equipped with a couch and a little kitchenette. “You sit and let me get you a coffee,” he pointed you toward the sofa and you sat down.

“Thanks Oppa,” you said softly as you thought of the last time you saw him. He had been with Saerin when she found you passed out and they were the ones that took you to the hospital. You never told him what exactly happened and you still felt a certain level of guilt about that. But being here with him as he made you coffee made you miss the days when all of you were in the same troupe. A past you could never return to.

“What’s it like working with Minho again? Is he still as stubborn?” Jae asked as he handed you an iced coffee and sat down next to you.

“I don’t think that part of him will ever change,” you replied feeling your throat tighten a little bit.

“Did you guys ever reconcile after your fight?”

“What fight?” You asked clearly very confused. As far as you remembered there was no memorable fight between the two of you. Arguments for sure but nothing that should have been serious enough for Jae to remember.

“Whatever fight that led to you and Saerin telling me to not tell him anything about your whereabouts.” 

“Ah,” it made sense that he thought that there was a fight then. Neither you nor Saerin had explained much of why you had to disappear so of course people thought of their own conclusions.

“I really hope that you two could make up, you were super cute together.” 

“We were never together Oppa.”

“Maybe not officially but everyone knew what was going on between the two of you,” Jae said as he gave you a little nudge with his elbow. You felt your face heat up slightly as you remembered all the good memories.

“We didn’t fight, I just…couldn’t face him,” you told Jae the closest thing to the truth because you knew that you couldn’t lie to him. 

“Did it have something to do with you collapsing?” Jae asked and as soon as he finished his sentence the door slammed open. The two of you jumped in your seats as you both looked over and saw Minho standing there with an unreadable expression on his face.

“You collapsed?” He asked as he walked toward you. You looked away not at all expecting to have him catch you like this. “Answer me,” he wasn’t shouting but his voice was trembling. 

“Minho-” Jae tried to say as he looked between the two of you. 

“Hyung please leave, I need to talk to her,” Minho said but it was clear from the tone of his voice that it was more of an order. He was staring right at you but you refused to look up from the floor.

“I don’t know if-” Jae tried to speak again but was harshly cut off by Minho.

“Hyung please!”

You felt Jae grab your hand and you looked over at him, he gave you a look to ask if you would be okay and you could only nod. At this point it almost seemed pointless to try and run from the situation anymore. He had heard too much and there was only so much you could lie about. Jae silently let go of your hand and left the room closing the door behind him with a soft click.

“When did you collapse?” Minho asked, his voice as harsh as the first day you two saw each other again.

“The day I sent the last message to you,” you answered still unable to look up at him.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I…I was trying to process everything,” you told him the whole truth without revealing your exact reason. You mind was wondering at a million miles a minute as you wondered how far you explain yourself. Almost unconsciously your hand clutched your stomach. 

“And then I never heard anything from you ever again.” Minho collapsed next to you on the couch. The two of you sitting close enough for your shoulders to be touching. “So you disappeared from my life after collapsing.”

You could only nod at his statement not trusting yourself to speak without sobbing.

“And you felt like you couldn’t tell me anything? Or maybe you just felt like I wasn’t important enough to say anything to?”

“Thats not it,” you said quietly still trying to keep your emotions under wraps.

“Was it because I became an idol?” This time Minho was the one that was talking quietly, voice barely above a whisper. “If you had said anything at all I would have told them no. I would have stayed with you.”

“That’s not it,” you cut him off before he could continue to think that he had somehow been in the wrong.

“Then why? Why did you suddenly just decide to leave my life like you never existed?”

“I had a miscarriage,” you got the words out as quickly as you could before you had a chance to regret everything. There was a few minutes of silence as Minho processed what you said.

“What?” He turned toward you and grabbed your shoulders to try and get you to look at him. “What did you say?”

“I had a miscarriage,” you still could not look at him too scared to see what the expression on his face was.

“You were pregnant?”

“I didn’t know until…we got to the hospital and the baby was already gone.” You couldnt see anything over the tears but you felt Minho tighten his grip on you. 

“It was mine.”

“The timing, the last night we slept together.” You had calculated everything when the doctor had informed you how long you had been along. You felt Minho loosen his grip on your shoulders and you could feel yourself begin to deflate before being harshly pulled into a hug.

“I’m sorry, that night I was so full of emotion that protection completely slipped my mind,” he said as he held you closely to his chest, close enough for you to hear the frantic beating of his heart.

“I didn’t remember either,” you told him, too guilty to let him take any of the blame. The two of you had been young and dumb except you were dumber. You were the reason that the child didn’t have a chance to be born you knew that Minho deserved to finally know the whole truth. “It was my fault,” you got out in between sobs.

“What?” Minho pulled the two of you apart keeping you just far enough apart to see your face. You looked up and saw the tears in his eyes through your own tears.

“I was dancing too hard, not eating enough not taking care of myself and the child, it paid the price.” You clutched your stomach hard enough to feel pain. 

“What are you talking about?” You saw the anger on Minho’s face and heard it in his voice. You the urge to run rose up faster then you could have processed it. You tried to get up from the couch eyes darting toward the door but Minho’s grip on you was too solid. 

“I’m so sorry please let me go,” you begged as you tried to push his arms away but he once again pulled you into a hug this and you gripped onto his shirt in confusion.

“How could you think to blame yourself when you didn’t know?” He put one of his hands on the back of your head and pushed you further into him. 

“But still if I-”

“There are no ifs, what happened has happened, why think about things you have no control over?”

“Why don’t you hate me?”

“Why would you think I would hate at you?”

“Because I killed our child,” you screamed into his chest, your hands trying hard to push yourself away from him.

“I’m only mad at myself.”

“Why?” It made no sense to you for there to be any reason for Minho to be mad at himself. This whole time you had never assigned any blame for anything except toward yourself.

“Because I couldn’t be there for you as you were going through this, because there was anything that I did that led you to think that I could ever hate. I’m mad at myself for not trying harder to find you because I can’t imagine what you must have been going through.” You felt his lips on the top of your head. “You big dummy I could never ever ever hate you.”

Your hands dropped their grip on his shirt as you felt all the strength leave your body. You really wanted to believe him but a part of you still felt that this was too good to be true. “Don’t you hate me for disapearing?” 

“No, at the start I was desperately worried thinking that something happened to you. When I saw you again I was mad for sure because you looked fine and you refused to tell me anything. As I calmed down over time I realized that you must have had your reasons, I wasn’t going to force anything out of you but when I heard you collapsed. I just lost sight of reason. But never through any of this, even now do I hate you.”

“But you deserve to hate me, I should have said something, you had a right to know but instead I just ran away.” You were finally letting out the words you had buried deep in your heart. Minho’s hands moved to hold your face and once again you were looking into his eyes. In his eyes you didn’t see anger or hate but something much more tender. He used his thumb to brush a few tears away from your eyes.

“No part of you deserves to be hated. Yes I wish you went about this a different way but I will never know what you had to go through. More than anything I wished you just told me so that I could have been there for you.”

“I was scared.”

“Of me?”

“Of you hating me, telling me that you never wanted to see me again so I chose to leave instead. I thought… maybe you would just forget me.” Once you started spilling the truth you couldn’t stop.

“Oh baby,” Minho pulled you close into a kiss and your lips melded naturally with his. His lips were soft, gentle and familiar. You tasted the saltiness of both your tears but if someone asked you to describe the taste of that moment you would have answered ‘sweet. Minho and you softly separated before he leaned in to place a kiss on your forehead. “Never could I forget someone like you,” he placed another kiss. “Never could I hate you,” another kiss. “Unless you kidnap my cats then maybe,” he said in too much of a serious tone and the two of you burst into laughter both feeling lighter than ever.

God’s Du Du Du

You were nervous. Of course you would be, it was your first time seeing Minho and the rest of Stray Kids after confessing everything. They had been busy preparing for the Mayfly stage and getting their vocals done for God’s Du Du Du stage. You had been busy thinking of a good choreography and working with the stage department for all the right props and backdrops. You were planning something pretty explosive but at that moment while you stood outside the dance practice room you felt like you were going to explode. With a deep breathe in you pushed open the dance room door. The eight of them turned to wave and greet you and Minho jumped up to walk over to you. Before you could really react he grabbed your hand and led you to the other kids all of them with various confused expressions besides Chan who smiled a fatherly smile. Just as you were going to ask Minho what he was doing, he gently took off your mask and stunned you into silence. There were a couple of gasps from the other members while you just looked at Minho like he was crazy. He shrugged at you and turned toward the kids while gesturing at you.

“I’m sure some of you recognize her from when I introduced her right after we debuted. We had a stupid fight and now its over so its pointless hiding who she is. Besides dancing while wearing a mask is stupid and now she can eat with us.” Minho sat back down nonchalantly as if he didn’t just make a giant revelation. He looked up at you with the cockiest of smiles and asked “so you figured out the dance yet?”

Wolfgang

“You’re good for him you know?” Chan said as he plopped down beside you. You were sitting just a few meters away from where the main chaos was happening. Over the last week you had grown much closer to everyone else in the group and they had invited you to join them in their barbeque party before their final Kingdom performance. The excitement for finally finishing (and maybe winning first) was getting to the kids and they had gone a little wild. Half the kids were in a drinking (coca-cola and sprite) competition with their managers while the other half were making food with Minho and Chan supervising to make sure that they weren’t burning the place down. Well Chan had been supervising them until he saw you sitting by the side.

“Aren’t you supposed to make sure that Minho doesn’t get angry and cook the kids?” You asked as you heard a yell come from where the cooking was being done.

“I’m sure they’ll survive for a little bit,” Chan replied with a shrug. “Besides he’s mellowed out quite a bit since you’ve been around. You’re really good for him, I haven’t seen him so relaxed in a long time.”

“Aren’t you supposed to scold me and tell me to not cause any scandals with your groupmates?” Chan let out a loud laugh that he tried to disguise as a cough.

“Has anyone ever told you that you tend to overthink things too much?”

“Shut up,” you said close enough with Chan to punch him softly in the arm. Chan clutched onto his arm in mock agony as if you could cause his solid mass of muscle any pain.

“I’m serious though, he’ll never admit it but for the first time he came to me for advice, I’m sure you know how rare that is.” 

You nodded but didn’t know what to say to Chan. Minho and you had a discussion where you had decided that only Chan needed to know the more specific details of everything and he still didn’t need to know absolutely everything. Since that discussion you and Minho’s relationship had seemed to almost revert back to exactly how it had been in the past. In fact Minho seemed even more close and clingy with you than he had been in the past. He always made sure to sit or stand next to you.  He grabbed your favorite foods from the JYP cafeteria when you didn’t have time to go yourself. You found yourself watching him more and more and freely touching him to correct his moves. You often had to remind yourself that you weren’t around the members of your former dance troupe and instead around his members. You tried to be more professional and started to keep a more respectable distance after you caught the other members whispering about your relationship. That might have worked, if Minho hadn’t gotten annoyed and plopped you directly into his lap. His nonchanlance only made your embarrassment worst but you decided that maybe it was okay to just enjoy being near each other to make up for the lost time.

“Felix is waiting for you guys to finally tell us you’re dating so he can bake you two a big batch of brownies to celebrate.”

“We aren’t dating,” you told Chan honestly. While you two were enjoying each other’s company you weren’t officially dating. You honestly didn’t mind it as your relationship dynamic was one that the two of you were quite familiar with, but with the way Chan was looking at you like a kicked puppy you wondered if maybe you and Minho needed to have a talk about it soon.

“You aren’t?” 

“No.”

“Why the hell not?” Chan yelled loud enough to attract the attention of everyone else.

“YAH Bang Chan-ssi why are you screaming at her,” Minho yelled as he walked over holding a spatula very much looking like a disgruntled mother.

“You two-” Chan cut himself off when he noticed all the other kids and the mangers watching him, “need to talk, go take a walk around the river I’ll watch the cooks.” Chan took the spatula and pushed Minho toward you as he pointed toward the general direction of the river. Minho looked at you with a raised eyebrow and you could only smile at him. He reached his hand out to you and you took it to stand up. The two of you walked in the direction that Chan had pointed neither of you speaking until you could no longer hear the chatter of the kids.

“What do we need to talk about?” Minho asked as he squeezed the hand that he was still holding.

“It’s nothing really, just Chan being silly,” you replied not looking at Minho. He stopped walking and tugged you back until you were facing him.

“Just tell me…” Minho whined as he swung your hand back and forth.

“I just told him that we weren’t dating.”

“Ah,” Minho’s reply spiked your anxiety and you wondered if maybe you shouldn’t have said anything. You turned to try and keep walking when Minho tugged your arm and pulled you into his chest. “Should we date then?” He asked.

“Geeze Minho you have to stop suddenly hugging me like this!” You used the hand that he wasn’t holding to try and push at him to no avail. 

“It’s not my fault that your first reaction is always to run away.” His tone was light but you stiffened at his words. “Hey hey I didn’t mean it like that, stop looking like the world is going to end,” he gently poked your nose and you relaxed slightly.

“I mean you’re not wrong.”

“Why don’t you just answer my question~ should we date?” His voice was whiny but the look in his eyes was quite serious.

“I honestly don’t know. It would be a lie to say that I don’t want to but I’m quite terrifed,” you promised yourself that you would no longer lie to Minho and that meant telling him exactly what you thought.

“It’s true, we never dated before have we?” Minho ran his hand through your hair as he smiled softly at you.

“Yeah, I’m not sure… what us dating would even mean.”

“It would mean that I get to call you girlfriend and you get to call me boyfriend. It would mean that the kids would stop trying to not so subtly ask me what our relationship is. I’m still going to hug you when I want, feed you when I want, hold your hand when I want, kiss you when I want and I expect you to do the same. Then when we’re ready I’m going to propose so that we can get married, adopt more cats so that Soonie, Dori and Doongie can have more sibling and spend the rest of our days dancing together until we get too old and our bones crack.” 

You wanted to laugh, you wanted to laugh and you wanted to kiss him so you closed the distance and attached your lips to his. The kiss still tasting absolutely sweet. When you pulled apart again you saw Minho’s smile as he reached to wipe the tears away from your eyes. 

“So is that a yes?”