#i love how we're all talking about doug like he's dead

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Can't believe no one is talking about how erasing Doug from the narrative of OFMD is blatant erasure of autistic representation (I have decided to be angry because I headcanon Doug as autistic with no evidence from the text and I will become angry if you point out how it's easy to read other characters as autistic)

[grey342]

Grovel

Phil Wenneck x reader

synopsis - You make Phil grovel after an argument

warnings - MDNI 18+ content, teasing Phil, slightly in public, P in V, no protection and Phil talking you through it (kinda).

authors note - Thank you guys for being so patient it means the world to me! I'm gonna try to post at least once a week but, school may get in the way of that fml. Thank you again for all the support and I hope you like this one. P.S- this was kinda rushed so apologies for that :)

please do not steal my work - belongs to @grey342

If looks could kill, I would've been dead as soon as I walked through the door.

There has been a bit of tension in the Wenneck household this week. Okay a lot of tension. It all started on Monday; Phil had to work late at the school again, which, of course, you had no problems with. However, the thing that bothered you was when he came home and revealed to you he was with that one colleague who has a massive crush on him.

Naturally being a grown adult, you communicated these concerns with Phil but, he claimed you were looking into things too much and he only has eyes for you. How cute.

So, you voiced these concerns to him yet again on Monday night. He claimed that you were being "dramatic" and "childish". Big mistake. You both started to go back and forth at each other until you ended the argument with the classic:

"you're sleeping on the couch tonight!"

Due to your stubbornness, the pair of you haven't spoken a word to each other since. It's now Friday night, the night you and your friends designated as the weekly get together.

You and Phil both agreed to act civil with each other but you weren't letting him get off that easy. You done your makeup exactly the way he likes, put on his favourite dress and, as the last kick in the teeth, put on his favourite matching set.

You had already everyone that you were going to run a little late due to work, so they all got started without you. You took an Uber to the bar and as soon as you stepped through the doors, you could feel his eyes burning into you.

You walk over to the table greet everyone and sit down next to him. The table began to converse with each other when you felt his breath on your neck.

"You think you're really funny don't ya?" He grunts.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." You respond, feining innocence.

"Oh you don't huh?" He retaliates slightly smirking. You shake your head slightly and join in on the conversation. He puts his hand on your thigh and grips it to gain your attention.

"I'm in the middle of a conversation sweetheart, don't be rude." You teased. He straightens himself and moves his hand higher. He slowly moves it higher and higher until he reaches underneath your dress.

You struggle to hide your smirk when you see him realise. He leans in his voice barely a whisper.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" You pull his hand out and place it on his lap.

"Control yourself Phillip, we're in public." You warn smirking as you notice the vein on his forehead, popping slightly. You love doing this to him. It's your favourite hobby; getting a rise out of Phil.

The dinner goes on and you've been teasing him non-stop, waiting for him to snap. It's when you hover your hand over his buldge and rub softly against it, he does.

"Okay so sorry to cut it short but we gotta go," he says standing and grabbing your hand, "Doug if you could call me tomorrow and give me our bill that would be great bye guys." They all mutter goodbyes as he drags you by the hand to the car.

He gets in and slams the door.

"What the fuck do you think your playing at? And don't even try to pull that innocent bullshit act. What is going on?" He exclaims.

"You know what's going on." You say avoiding his gaze. He scoffs.

"Are you seriously this pissed over her?"

"Yes, I am! And I know it's stupid but," you sigh, "I trust you with my entire life. But..I don't trust her and I know that's a ridiculous excuse but-" He takes your hand into his.

"Oh sweetheart, you should've told me this. If I knew you were this bothered by her I would've stopped talking to her months ago."

"Really?" You look into his eyes.

"Of course." He reassures.

"Now, don't think you're completely off the hook," you look at him confused, "oh honey, don;t tell me you thought you would get away with that little stunt you pulled at dinner." Your eyes widen in fear and excitement.

"Just wait until we get home."

Throughout the entire car ride, he seems freakishly calm. But as soon as you step foot into your apartment his hands are all over you as his mouth claims yours. You moan out of surprise and your hands immediately began to rake his back.

His hands reach your thighs, he lifts you up, your legs wrap around his waist, and carries you to the bedroom. He places you on the end of the bed and begins to strip down until he's in his underwear. You doing exactly the same. He stops dead in his tracks and his eyes scan you from top to bottom.

"Holy fuck baby." You go to take your bra off when he stops you.

"Leave it on." He demands and pushes you back onto the bed. Your mouths meet again in a wave of passion. His hands rubbing up and down on your thighs until he meets your core.

He begins to slightly rub over your clit through your panties making you moan in his mouth. He slowly picks up the pace but it's not enough to take you over the edge.

"Please.." You beg.

"Please what?" He taunts.

"Please let me cum." You breathe out.

"Oh I don't think you deserve that just yet." He pulls his fingers away and you whine at the loss of them. in the blink of an eye his boxers are off and he began pumping his dick. He pushes your panties over to the side and rubs his tip slowly over your slit. You moan at the sensation.

He pushes the tip in at an agonizing pace and you began to squirm out of impatience.

"What's wrong honey?" He teases.

"Please Phil.."

"Come on, you can do better than that."

"Please, please fuck me Phil."

"Atta girl." He says sliding all the way in. He gives you no mercy as he pounds into you, the headboard beginning to bang against the wall. He places his head in the crook of your neck, his grunts and whimpers vibrating against your neck.

"You think it's funny to tease me hm? Make you feel good?" He asks in between breaths. You whine, shaking your head.

"No, good. From now on 'm gonna prove to you everyday that you are ten times the woman she is." He moans and picks up the pace.

"She doesn't hold a torch to you baby, she never will." You moan loudly, feeling the pressure build in your lower stomach.

"Phil..?" Your breath quickens.

"Yes honey?"

"I'm gonna cum."

"Me too, hold on we'll do it together mkay?"

"Okay.." His hand moves down to rub you clit, you whimper in response.

"Ready," you nod your head rapidly, "cum baby, oh fuck, cum on my dick." The second he says that you let the pleasure consume you. You feel his cum shoot into you as he whimpers in your ear.

You place your hand on his head, slightly pulling on his hair. He looks at you with a playful smirk on his face.

"What?" You return the gesture.

"Round two?"

"Fuck off." You say chuckling. He leans forward claiming your lips. You smile into the kiss.

His head slumps on your chest and the pair of you let sleep take over.

[weeb-polls-with-pip]

Autistic Anime Boys Prelims - Propaganda Division - Group 5

Propaganda:

Ame -

"Typical autistic childhood – doesn't want to go to school, doesn't talk a lot, his plans for the future are just to go to live as a wolf in the forest… He's basically a werewolf and I think werewolves are often autistic coded. Actually his whole family is autistic coded."

Floyd -

"Has no emotional regulation skills and will make it everyone's problem. Prone to mood swings and can get angry at the drop of a hat, but can also be so goofy, silly, and lovely. Sways side to side for that good good stim, and loves to squeeze others (with violent intent and affectionate intent). Who doesn't love a good pressure stim? His interest in things can be fleeting, and his motivation to do things can change as quickly as his mood. Spontaneous and feral extraordinaire."

Hibiki -

"he is canonically diagnosed with hyperacusis <3 my fav sensory issues guy (he's so relatable). also canonically pulled a bad bitch (uta) by being autistic."

Akira -

"He has a heartbreaking relationship with road racing and the memory of his dead mother, and while he is a major antagonist, he is given a lot of interesting looks into his internal logics that I personally find relatable as an autistic person. I also like how he expresses himself in unpleasant ways, but isn't always treated with disgust, its kind of refreshing."

Sang Woo -

"literally the first results on google is "sangwoo semantic error autistic." he loves routine + is extremely distressed by change in routine (contrasts w his ADHD-coded bf). very blunt/cannot read social clues which leads to some misunderstandings throughout the manhwa. he's very relatable to me as an autistic person but also as a queer man, and it's refreshing to see autistic characters being open with their sexuality/sexual life bc we're often displayed as asexual robots incapable of love (bad for lots of reasons haha). he's super cute generally and really grew on me throughout the series. definitely the best part of semantic error."

Douglas -

"Many other characters try to read into what he does and says, looking for deeper or different meanings but it's always revealed that he means exactly what he says every single time and the butt of the jokes is always the other characters for being dramatic and presumptuous, not Doug for being autistic. Also he's the mean autistic representation we deserve."

Scott -

"look at him. failboy autism. even more so than any previous version!"

Shinra -

"he's just like me forreal."

Soi -

"I mean come on, it’s Purson. He thinks he’s really good at talking to people but most of his conversations (at least at the start) are completely one sided. He just blurts out whatever he’s thinking and completely dominates the conversation (if you can call it that). I love him so much for it, I have a really hard time figuring out when I should just stop talking and let someone else have a turn and only tend to realize after he fact that I didn’t really let anyone else get a word in and feel really bad. But the way Purson communicates is never shown to be a bad thing it’s a bit awkward at times but that just how he is and the rest of the misfit class live him for it. I think I could go on all day about how wonderfully inclusive Iruma-Kun is it’s such a good series, also in my brain Balam, Kalego, Clara and Opera are on the 4 outer points of an x-y graph that represents the autism spectrum. Everyone else fills the blanks in between. His bloodline magic is ‘detection warding’ and for the first several arcs of the manga the rest of the class didn’t even know he was there."

Makoto -

"In one sentence: Katai considers the titular Komi-san a communication master. Katai looks like a brutal thug, but he's actually extremely shy. Shy enough that after missing a couple weeks of class, it takes him months to build up the confidence to go to school. Katai tries to make friends once he does go to school, but he can't hold a conversation and doesn't realize that his mumbled half-sentences and resting bastard face make it look like he's threatening people. He's also pretty bad at reading the room, which is why he interprets Komi's behavior as a communication master trying to guide him from afar rather than a kindred spirit also struggling to hold a conversation."

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

My reactions to the finale of Criminal Minds: Evolution season 2

I can't believe we're already at the end 😭

20 minutes of lost connection. I'm sure Penelope isn't panicking at ALL

Oh yeah that doesn't look good. That looks VERY not good.

And we start off with Dave! Alive (unsurprised) but injured/trapped (unsurprised) and talking to a hallucination of Voit (UNSURPRISED)

Tara's alive my QUEEEN!! And uninjured!

Tara trying not to cry about the fact that her gf, i mean, Emily is still MIA

And Emily and Frank Church are kidnapped. Lovely!!

Yay! Church is dead!

Canon use of the nickname "Em" for Emily!!!

Hello, Peter B! Nice to finally meet you!

I'm very surprised that Jade ISN'T dead

Jade's backstory breaks my heart

And they're making me emotional about Damien and Jade. AGAIN.

Oh shit she's bringing up Cyrus and Doyle and Mr. Scratch

Collecting my garvez crumbs!! I'm sure they had a very emotional, tearful, hugs-and-kisses reunion off screen.

Luke looking so intently at her ahhhh

Oh, Pete B must hold Prentiss responsible for something? Could it be, I don't know, the death of his older brother Doug?

SHOCKER Doug is Pete's older brother.

Voit GIGGLING makes my skin crawl

EMILY HAS A SISTER???? HAS THIS ALWAYS BEEN A THING???? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT???

"I didn't mean it like that" mean it like what??? I am so confused.

Luke the way you're always staring at her face is gonna clue someone in

Rossi telling THE DIRECTOR "if emily dies so do you, bitch"

"Can we turn down the testosterone for a second" rebecca don't make me like you

And all of a sudden the director is chill???

Help Voit has me CACKLING

"our girl" ew no you do NOT

"Your boyfriend's dead because you shot him, babe," EMILY???

the emphasis on deepfake with the glance over at luke *shudders* i know jj is watching this and feeling sick to her stomach

"but jenny i told you about this" VILE SICK DISGUSTING NO

"calm down, big guy" 😂😂😂

Tyler has me rolling with laughter

TY TY AND LUCAS I'M CRYING WITH LAUGHTER

Not Penelope making Voit physically uncomfortable by just LOOKING at him. my QUEEN.

the way i get giggly when luke calls her "Penelope" and not "Garcia"

"hey did you watch BAUgate yet" shut the FUCK UP

EW EW ELIAS USED FOOTAGE OF HIS WIFE???

JJ slayed that scene

i know they make it out of this. but i can't figure out how

Luke saving everyone's life on a HUNCH we stan

oh no jade still has the gold star bullet

i don't think jade is going to shoot them i think she's going to shoot herself

"will you listen to me, this time?" jade got me SOBBING

MILA AND JADE REUNION I'M SOBBING

PETE AND HIS PARENTS I'M SOBBING EVEN HARDER

no no. do NOT tell me that after all this i'm getting a GREENCIA scene.

okay false alarm. he seems to still be down bad-ish for her but she seems neutral (maybe bc she's dating someone else currently in that room)

Luke the heart eyesssssss

and tebecca is offically back together. my temily heart is crying.

"the worst part of dating a guy, no offense," *pats luke on the shoulder* DYING

"none taken" luke knows men ain't shit

"I'm just glad someone acknowledged the height disparity" luke you and your gf have THE SAME HEIGHT DIFFERENCE

Luke comforting Tyler DAMN i am loving this blossoming bromance

luke making eyes at Pen as they toast sir I SEE YOU

and voit's maybe dead! yay!

Look. so, my secret dating garvez theory wasn't proved right. BUT it has yet to be proved WRONG, so I shall continue to believe into the next season

Honestly I'm kind of underwhelmed by the finale. It was good, but I feel like it is very complete and there's no real cliffhanger left to continue on with another season. But I am liking what's happening with the caracters so far.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

favourite twdg villain?

I'm a fond enjoyer of the St. John's as villains. I don't know if they're my favorite just because they're only in one episode, but I love the concept of this family almost immediately jumping into cannibalism toward the start of the outbreak, dealing in human flesh to bandits, and casually feeding this group their friend's legs.

Like... what the hell was this family like before the outbreak that all three of them were like, "Hey now listen... nothing should go to waste, the dead are eating people so why shouldn't we? We gotta survive and in our defense, we only target those who were gonna die anyway... like y'all."

Dude, Mark was shot in this shoulder with an arrow. He wasn't going to die from that injury. It's so fucked that these seemingly friendly people took the group into their home and then fed them Mark's legs.

If we take the idea that everyone is infected and have the capacity within themselves to become walkers, to become monsters, then the St. John's were infected long before the outbreak, y'know? Not literally, but something was wrong with them and the outbreak just further spread that infection and changed them.

But again, are they my favorite? I dunno if I can say that since I have a lot more appreciation for Lily now. Yeah, some of her writing gets a little wonky in ep3 of TFS when she goes on her monologues and shit, but y'know what? I'm into it.

You have to remember who we're talking about and the fact that she's the antagonist; Lily isn't some anti-hero in TFS who secretly has a heart of gold that's brought to light because she reunited with Clementine... she's a fucked up woman who did fucked up things in the name of survival. She's full of rot now. She sees kidnapping children and turning them into soldiers to protect her home as a means to an end, but she doesn't actually give a shit about the people she's taking. They aren't people to her, they're as the episode title suggests, toys in her game. The only one she sees as a person is Clementine, and while that makes her hesitate at first, she sees Clementine's a prize to bring back.

She remembers what happened in S1; her father had a heart attack and as she tried to save him, Kenny smashed his face in with a saltlick and then expected Lily to just stand up and help him get back to his family because "he did what he had to, he made the hard choice." Yes, Larry was a piece of shit. No one liked him, and you can even question Lily on him and she'll tell you that he has a lot of pain. Yes, it makes him an asshole, but he's still her dad and he's all she has. I mean... the simplification is daddy issues, but in all seriousness, I don't doubt for a second that many of Lily's issues stem from Larry being a shitty father to her.

Then everyone thought she was losing it when she insisted there was a traitor in the group, which she was right about, but she was unstable. She was unwell, but how do you help someone like that when you don't have training to go about it? Then Lily ends up killing either Carley or Doug and the group turns on her, and either she's left behind or she steals the van and runs away.

Then we don't know what the hell happened to her until we see her again in TFS, but like... a lone woman with decay festering inside of her joining the delta? Exposing her to their methods? I mean, what else did she have to lose? She had nothing, she lost everything, and she has a lot of issues. Survival is easy when you're numb, when you don't care about the individual; they're all just cogs churning to make the system run, and if a piece doesn't cooperate, you get rid of it and find a new one.

Plus I think there's something to say about Lily not wanting to be perceived as weak again. That whole display she put on in the cells? Telling the story of what happened to Minerva and Sophie? I get the criticism that it feels like Lily did a 180 between episodes but like... yeah dude, because it's a performance. It's not just her and Clementine anymore. It's a display of power and authority. She's playing the part and thriving in it as she ensures everyone else is terrified of her.

But then when Clementine and AJ get the upper hand? Again, she's not afraid to play up the pleading to earn enough sympathy to spare her- hell, just to let their guard down enough to strike and get the upper hand again. I mean, she's got nothing else to lose, right? If she doesn't go for it, she'll be killed and sure, you can kill her anyway but at least she tried.

Honestly, I look at Lily in TFS and still see that scared little girl playing the tough bitch, just like Carley said in S1. It's just now escalated from "tough bitch" to a downright vile person. She's so... lost? I suppose? Lost within herself and the monstrous means she's taken to survive.

I get the criticisms of how she was used in TFS, but for me, it's like when people complain about Minerva not getting the redemption arc she supposedly should've gotten, y'know? There's no saving her. Lily was never on our side, and there was no getting her on our side. She wasn't ever going to redeem herself. Even if you spare her and she drifts away on her raft, can someone like her actually find redemption? Or will she just find another group that'll feed into her rot?

Truly, I say let her be horrid. Let her be the piece of shit villain with a few fleeting moments of humanity. Let her drown in the blood she's spilled.

[lulamadison]

OK, remember the other day when I said I had an idea for a sad fic?

Well this is it...

I think this came about because Deadpool 3 got me thinking about the multiverse (There's literally no relation to that film apart from that multiverse concept, so no spoilers) and that mixed with my own constant fears of something bac happening to Johnny at the end of S6 Part 2.

So here is a sad little fic where KK Johnny and CK Johnny meet at a really bad point of their lives.

Warning for Major Character death under the cut...

“Who the hell are you?” Johnny asked, as he looked at the old man who'd suddenly appeared beside him.

“I'm you, dipshit,” the guy replied.

Johnny rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right.”

This guy had to be at least 60 and he was plainly crazy.

The old guy leaned closer, narrowing his eyes, then he said, “Damn, I was a good looking kid. No wonder all the girls loved me.”

“Pervert,” Johnny said, taking a step back and raising his fists. “You need to get out of here before I kick your ass!”

The old guy smiled gently. “You really don't believe I'm you, do you?”

“I'm not stupid, man,” Johnny snapped. “You're plainly just some crazy old homeless guy who likes kids.”

“OK, I can prove it,” the man said. “When you were younger you got Sid to buy you a magic set because you wanted to be the next Doug Henning.”

“Shut the hell up, man!” Johnny hissed, dropping his fists and taking a step closer.

The man tilted his head and grinned. “Yeah, I didn't want them to know when I was your age either, but don't worry. They can't hear us.”

“Of course they can. They're literally right there,” Johnny said as he turned.

Bobby and Jimmy were knelt on the ground, leaning over, looking down at something, while Dutch walked around with his hands gripping his head. Tommy was there too, crying in the darkness of the parking lot.

“Wait,” Johnny said, holding up a hand. “What's going on?”

“We're both dying, kid,” the guy said. “I think that's why I'm here.”

“I'm not dying,” Johnny replied.

“You sure about that?” the man asked, raising an eyebrow.

Johnny moved closer, leaning over, trying to get a view of what Bobby and Jimmy were looking at.

Red leather and blonde hair, crumpled on the ground.

“Wake up, Johnny,” Bobby said as tears streamed down his face.

“How could you do this?” Tommy screamed. “You were supposed to be his Sensei!”

Johnny turned.

Kreese was on the ground, blood streaming from his knuckles, as he sat with his back propped up against a car.

“He lost,” Kreese said, not taking his eyes away from his hands. “He was a loser. It doesn't matter.”

“You killed him!” Tommy shrieked as he rushed forward.

Dutch ran, grabbing Tommy by the shoulders and pulling him away.

“Leave it, man,” Dutch said, as he wrapped his arms around Tommy. “Let the cops deal with him.”

“I can't believe he's dead,” Tommy sobbed, as he pulled Dutch closer.

“No,” Johnny said. “This can't be happening.”

“It is,” the old guy replied.

“You said I'm you,” Johnny spat as he jabbed a finger into the other guy's chest. “How can I be you if I'm dead and you look old, huh?”

“Because we're both dying, but only one of us is meant to,” he replied. “Somehow I ended up here when I'm laid in a hospital bed back where I belong.”

“Oh yeah?” Johnny said angrily as he wiped away the tears that were running down his face. “What was it? Heart attack? You look like you let yourself go.”

The guy laughed. “Yeah, I'm still an asshole, just like you.”

“How can this be happening?” Johnny asked, as he grabbed his own hair, threading his fingers through it and gripping tightly. “I can't be dead. I'm still walking and talking!”

“And I'm years in the future and dying too,” the guy said, then he held out his hands and continued, “And yet…”

“This is impossible,” Johnny said. “I must be dreaming.”

“If you're dreaming then why am I am here?” the guy asked. “Am I what you dreamed you'd be like?”

“Hell, no!” Johnny snapped. “You looked like a washed up old hobo.”

The guy tilted his head and asked, “You wanna see where I'm from?”

“I'm not going anywhere with you,” Johnny said. “You probably have a white van round the back and you want to take me to see some puppies, right?”

“I do have a van with a really cool eagle on it,” he said with a laugh, then he reached out and touched Johnny's shoulder.

Everything went white and Johnny felt like he was flying, falling and tumbling through a sky full of fluffy clouds.

He held his hand up to his eyes, trying to block out the brightness, then everything faded, and he was stood in a hospital room.

“What the fuck did you just do to me!” Johnny shrieked, as he raised his fists. “How the hell did you do that?”

“I don't know, kid,” the old man sighed. “Miguel made me watch some Spider-Man movie last week where there were all these different versions of Spider-Man. Some were old and some were young, but they were all still Spider-Man, just from different universes.”

“You're nuts,” Johnny gasped. “You've lost your mind. Babbling about Spider-Man like he's real!”

“Hey, I said it was a movie,” the old guy said. “I never said it was real.”

“You're just some crazy person who put drugs in my drink,” Johnny said. “That's what this is. I'm hallucinating!”

“Turn around,” the guy said.

Johnny turned.

He was in a hospital room filled with monitors and equipment.

The same old guy was laid on the bed, looking deathly pale and swathed in tubes and cables.

Johnny dropped his fists as he listened to the heart monitor beep slowly.

“What happened to you?” Johnny asked quietly.

“Same thing as you, kid,” the guy replied.

“Kreese,” Johnny said.

“Yeah.”

“How?” Johnny asked. “What did he do?”

“It's a long story and I'm not sure how much time we have left,” the guy said.

“So tell it quickly,” Johnny replied, feeling tears well in his eyes.

As he looked down at the body in the bed he started to see the similarities. The hair, the nose, the eyes. Yeah, he was older, but this really was him.

“We were competing in a tournament against Cobra Kai.”

“Against?” Johnny asked, looking over his shoulder.

“Yeah,” he said. “Things got out of hand. We were in a parking lot and a fight broke out. In the middle of it all Kreese saw his chance and he stabbed me.”

“But you're not dead,” Johnny said, his tears spilling over.

“I'm as good as,” the old guy said. “I lost too much blood before the ambulance got to me. I had a heart attack and now they're just keeping me going till my girl can get here to say goodbye. She's on a plane right now.”

“On a plane?” Johnny asked. “Where are we?”

“Barcelona,” the guy replied. “That's where the tournament was and I won't make it home. I don't have long left.”

The door to the room opened and Johnny's mouth dropped open as a man entered.

“Well now I know I'm dreaming,” Johnny said. “Or having a nightmare.”

The man walked over to the bed, and sat in the chair by it, then reached out and took the hand of the still figure in the bed.

“It can't be him,” Johnny said.

“It is,” the guy said. “We're friends now. Best friends, to be honest.”

“How?” Johnny asked, as he whipped round. “How can you be friends with LaRusso?”

The guy shrugged. “Common enemy. Then it turned out we had more in common than either of us thought.”

“But it's his fault!” Johnny snapped. “It's his fault Kreese killed me!”

The guy raised an eyebrow, and asked, “Is it?”

“Carmen and Shannon are going to be here in an hour,” Daniel said from behind him, his voice sounding choked with tears. “The boys have gone to the airport to meet them. I don't think either of them have stopped crying since this happened and they want their mom's.”

Johnny whipped round, seeing tears running down LaRusso's face, as he tenderly cradled the hand of the other Johnny in the bed in his own.

“I can't believe this is happening,” Daniel sobbed, as he leaned forward, bringing the pale hand to his lips and kissing it gently. “I'm going to miss you so much. I know we didn't always get on, but you really were my friend and I can't believe you're leaving me so soon.”

An image flashed in Johnny's mind as he watched the scene. Daniel's face at a car window, looking scared and worried as everything started to fade to black.

In the dimness he saw LaRusso's sensei striding across the parking lot, moving towards them, as Kreese pulled his arm tighter.

“Mr. Miyagi,” Johnny said past the lump in his throat. “He tried to stop Kreese.”

“He saved my life, kid,” the old Johnny said, as he turned to face him. “But we'll never know if he saved yours unless you go back to where you're supposed to be.”

“What if I don't want to go back?” Johnny asked quietly. “Maybe being dead is better than the life I had?”

“Look, kid, I'm not gonna lie to you. When you get up off that floor there's gonna be long time when you wish you hadn't,” the older Johnny said. “Your life is going to go down the toilet, but you'll have an amazing kid, even though you won't know that right away. You'll meet another girl and you'll love her and her son too. You'll have your own dojo, and LaRusso will be your friend and you'll be the happiest you've ever been.”

“And then I'll die,” Johnny said sullenly.

“Yeah,” the older Johnny said with a grin. “But it'll be worth it.”

The machines started to beep wildly, sending out a shrill alarm.

LaRusso snapped his head up.

“No!” he said as he stood and leaned over the bed, grabbing the dying man by his shoulders. “You have to hang on, Johnny. Carmen and the kids are coming. You need to hang on for them!”

Doctors and nurses flew into the room, pushing LaRusso out of the way and crowding round the bed.

Daniel stepped back into the corner of the room with tears streaming down his face.

Johnny watched as he slid down the wall, sitting on the floor and letting his face drop to his knees as his shoulders shook.

“You really were friends,” Johnny said.

“Yeah,” the older Johnny said. He looked over at LaRusso, sobbing on the floor, then he smiled wistfully and said, “We really were.”

He turned back to look at Johnny said, and said, “It's time for us both to go now.”

“Where are you going?” Johnny asked.

“Not sure,” the older Johnny said, then he grinned and added, “But wherever it is, I'm gonna be badass.”

Johnny felt tears run down his face, and the older Johnny pulled him into a hug, as he said, “You're all right, kid. You're all right.”

Everything went black.

Johnny let out a groan.

The asphalt was digging into his cheek and his chest felt raw.

He opened his mouth, taking a gasping breath through the tightness in his neck.

“Johnny?” he heard a voice ask.

He took in another gasping breath, then let out a cough.

“Oh my god, he's alive!” Jimmy shouted. “He's alive!”

Johnny raised his head.

He was on the ground in the parking lot, but he could hear the shrill alarm of the machine still whining, then it suddenly cut off.

He was back, back where he belonged, as Bobby pulled him up and into his arms.

“I thought you were dead, man,” Bobby said through his tears, as he pulled him tight.

“I think I was,” Johnny croaked into his neck. “But it wasn't my time to go.”

[coraniaid]

Anyway, in case it wasn't obvious, I love Revelations.   It's one of my favorite episodes this season, probably even of the whole show.  I really like the character of Gwendolyn Post; I think the Buffy/Faith fight scene is one of the best in the show to date; and -- even though I find it deeply frustrating to watch -- I think the big "intervention" scene with Buffy in the library works in a way that the fight in Dead Man's Party earlier didn't. Because, unlike that first fight, this scene is grounded in who the characters are and how they relate to one another, and because it doesn't ever turn into everyone uniting against Buffy, and because there is some acknowledgement at the end that (while Buffy shouldn't have kept Angel's return a secret from everyone) the others didn't exactly react well either.

I talked a bit a while ago about how the writers apparently didn't have Faith's arc this season planned out in advance, and -- assuming that that's true -- I think this must have been the episode where they decided to make her more central.  This episode is the first time we've been back to the motel since Faith killed Kakistos; it's the first of many times Faith and Buffy will fight (and that Faith and Angel will fight, although it's pretty one-sided here); and Mrs Post is only the first of Faith's evil mentor figures. More generally, this episode is just a huge insight into Faith's character: how empty her life in Sunnydale is, how starved of positive attention she must be; how upset she is by the suggestion that "Buffy and her friends" is a group that doesn't include her; how she wants Buffy to open up to her about her past and is visibly hurt when she doesn't.

Being betrayed by Post -- finding out that she was wrong to trust her after all, and that she was "an idiot" for doing so -- is also such a pivotal moment for Faith, as much as (or more), I'd argue, than her accidental killing of Allan Finch.  After all, Buffy has -- and will again -- think she's killed people, but she's never gone evil as a result (here, following the show's lead, I'm glossing over the fact that Buffy definitely has killed people, Mrs Post this episode being only the latest one of them).  The difference is ... well, Buffy has friends.  Family.  A watcher. People who believe in her.  Faith doesn't get any of that. You can't trust people, after all.

Oh, and I said I'd talk about Willow and Xander's subplot next episode, but I have to note that:

this episode heavily lampshades the fact that Willow's secret habit of kissing Xander is meant to parallel Buffy's secret habit of kissing Angel (which is why Willow, who "always considers [herself] a good person", is so quick to forgive Buffy, and why Xander -- who doesn't -- is not);

Faith's reaction to finding all this out ("Buffy knew ... I can't believe her!"), coupled with the opening "really, we're just good friends" scene and the final scene of Buffy apologizing to Faith for "keeping secrets" makes it pretty clear who the Oz analogue has to be in this situation. 

You can talk about Eliza Dushku's performance being the reason that people tend to read Faith as romantically attracted to Buffy all you want, and you wouldn't be wrong, but what exactly did Doug Petrie think he was writing here?

[dontmindme-imjustfangirlin]

no, because - eddie couldn't be there.

people have already talked about how not having eddie present in the coma dream was intentional, and how loud his absence was, and i think they're right! what i want to yes-and is the fact that it's loud because we, the viewer, make it loud.

because we spend the entire episode in buck's head - i mean yes, obviously - but the weird, off-balance camera angles and lighting and close-ups show that we're more than just watching as outside observers. we're literally watching what's happening through buck's eyes as he experiences his dream nightmare. the angles give the viewer the same vertigo buck feels; the close-ups show how wrongwrongwrong it is when we see people who are alive but shouldn't be (doug, that fucker), or strangers when they are not (chim and hen). so when the viewer wonders, increasingly, over the episode, where eddie is, i think we're supposed to extrapolate that that's where buck's mind is, too.

it starts small, like a drumbeat. buck wakes up. daniel teases him for not using a spotter. even in a groggy state, buck knows - i did. i had someone spotting me. someone i trusted had my line. someone who isn't here. someone is missing. who's missing?

the episode goes on. we get to the loft with all the get-well cards and flowers and mentions of kids, because buck loves kids and would be such a good elementary school teacher. but then there's the ferris wheel set, jarringly out of place. he touches it and there's the echoing flashback of water, crushing weight, a little boy screaming his name-

and it's gone.

where's that little boy? where is the person who had his back? everything is amazing and perfect and lovely, and everything is wrong because two people are missing who should be here.

we have the family dinner. everything is good and perfect except it's not, because jee-yun isn't here and doug is alive and oh god, now there's a kid in the middle of that, and in this universe maddie still isn't - may never be - ready or able to leave doug behind.

(and still, in all of that, buck thinks - because we think - something is wrong. something is missing. what's missing?)

and it's not until we get to chim (my beloved <3) that we finally put a name to it. eddie. where is eddie? the angry guy - no, that's not right, he's not supposed to be angry - no, god no, his son, he's not supposed to lose chris, they're supposed to be together, together with-

but then we learn that bobby is gone and the realization that his chosen father is dead without him makes his heart stop. buck needs to keep looking through his dream, because everything is exactly how he always wanted it to be but everything is wrong because maddie is with doug and chim and hen don't know him and bobby is dead and where's eddie, where's chris and eddie?

we get to the hospital. buck wonders if maybe he could stay in this perfect, uncanny world. we see bobby, hardened and mean and addicted the way he never wanted to be. he tells buck, if all you care about is how other people see you, then you haven't learned a damn thing.

(it's not about how other people see him. it's about how buck sees himself. and - importantly - how buck sees other people. more on this in a moment.)

still echoing: where's eddie? where's chris and eddie?

time is running out. buck runs through long, meandering hallways and meets the family he thought he always wanted. he passes chim and he's met maddie and is somehow already working out. it's still wrong - something is still missing - because if everything was so perfect, why is buck so desperate to leave?

(where's eddie? where's chris and eddie?)

little chris in the hallway, when he was supposed to be far away and unreachable in texas. can you help me find my dad?

what perfect, deliberate word choice. can you help me find my dad? find eddie, because you pulled him out of his head and gave him the resources to hold on and never left him to tread water alone? buck would dig through forty feet of mud for him, would crawl under a firetruck towards his broken and bleeding body, would climb into his messed-up head and fucked-up life and put everything to rights because he's the guy who likes to fix things.

and a step beyond - buck realizing, this is chris, but it's not his chris. it's not the boy he's helped raise since he was 7. this is a little boy looking for his dad, and here, in buck's deepest subconscious, i think part of him wonders: can i be that? can i be more than the donor, more than a legal guardian and in case of emergency contact? he's one of the things that's been missing in my supposed dream world - i love him as my own son - can i let him view me as a second dad? the dad he chose like i chose bobby? can i want that?

(can you help me find my dad? where's eddie? where's eddie? WHERE'S EDDIE?)

(because buck woke up in his dream world and knew something was missing from the start.)

there's nothing for you in that room. nobody in there needs you, daniel-buck (doctor buck? mean buck? idk) tells him.

and buck realizes, maybe that's true. maybe they don't. maddie has chim (as if she would ever not need her baby brother). margaret and phillip have each other and their grief and the ghost of their firstborn (though i truly believe, as i think buck does, that losing him would still ruin them. they did the best they could. that doesn't make it better. it just makes it complicated.) he's not going back for them

he's going back for himself. because he wants to live for himself.

(and maybe, he knows there are so many more people than the ones in that room he's going back to. chim and jee-yun and hen and bobby and athena and chris and eddie, eddie, eddie-)

and he smashes the glass. because he's not a teacher. he's a firefighter.

[zikadraws]

it takes four doug has "been through the system of 'several lives'"? do you mean he's been killed by the monsters and respawned a few times, and if not what did you mean? im always a fan of aus that incorporate the respawn mechanics that the games theyre for brush over :3c🍿

Oh man isn't that one hell of a question, that I was totally prepared for ! And since you asked it you're now legally required to sit through my painfully long take on this. Enjoy.

(Fair warning : Long post ahead. And you even get drawings. Click For Quality bcz phone pictures.)

Well it's actually relating to a theory/headcanon of mine that I came up to try for the respawn system to make sense in-game, because I too love when the mechanisms in-game are a thing that's accounted for and explained in the "world building*. And the respawn system in Dark Deception always left me perplex. Allow me to put the problem :

So we, as the player get a certain amount of Lives, represented by skulls, that we can use to try again from the last loading point before a Game Over (in which case I think you have to do the level since the very start.) We get more Lives the more we progress through. So far so good. It could not be accounted for and I'll be content enough with that, HOWEVER. When you die while still having 'Lives', Bierce pulls out a snarky comment like "Oh you got killed by a freaking statue, that's bloody hilarious". But, when you die after running out of Lives and get a Game Over, she will say "You died... HAHAHAHAHAHA" (like the sadistic asshole she is), and that, invariably and only in case of Game Over.

(And, very importantly : when you lose a Life, you don't lose your progress, you don't lose any Shard (depending on the difficulty ofc lmao.) So that means there is no time rewind for Lost Lives : it's a thing that's happening and counts as part of the trial. (The Game Overs, however, are on us.)

Which implies that she's somehow aware that the Game Over means Actually Dead, and that the other times was a "Oh dear, you got yourself fucked up again didn't you." and that we could try again. So this implies that the "several lives" system is something that just occurs with Mortals, and not only Doug since it doesn't phase her.

Now it's kinda infuriating because other than the Joy Joy Gang with the Game Over no one else really says anything about this, so. How would that system, that's implied to be acknowledged, be explained in the Dark Dimension, and why is it not talked about ?

Well I think I developed a plausible enough theory, and I believe the reason, for that and a few other mechanics, could be the Soul Shards. Allow me to explain.

-----

So we all know the Soul Shards right. Each of them holding power, and supposed to have once been an unfortunate Mortal that got ripped to bits in Malak's Realm. So far so good, however : "Soul Shard" implies that what we collect is only a fraction of the entirety of the victim's soul, which means the rest must be trapped in Malak's Realm. Enslaved, consumed or just wandering, you'd expect these poor sinners (those who did not cave or qualify into becoming Monsters) to want to do the best they can to help the next victim, with whatever power they hold as captive spirits.

So I believe they are the ones to give the Mortals more than one chance. How they do it is unclear, they might 'zap out' the corpse and reanimate it from a certain point of power, because this action takes a lot of their energy, and it needs for them to focus their collective power in certain emplacements -the Respawn Points for us. However, as it takes a lot out of them, they can only revive so many times. That's also why we gain more Lives through the levels : the more Shards we collect, the more people we get on our side to focus their energy to revive us.

As you can see I've given them a humanoid form because I felt they needed one. Anyways, they follow us around. (A lot because we're literally collecting them, I suspect.) When we die, the death screen advice is spoken by them, as pictured here.

I like to think they're also the reason why there is writing on the walls in certain locations (such as the Hotel, the Golden Manor and the Sewers), giving advice and warnings. I don't think it's blood, so it's probably something easier for them to produce. Those must be erased whenever they're spotted.

Anyways, they do more than that.

You see the chorus that you can hear in the background music ? Well I don't know if you ever noticed, but it appear to be singing warnings and injonctions, such as "Keep on moving" in "Maternal Instinct" or "Run for your life" in the teased ost "Silent Shopper" (I think). Here's my illustrated theory on that : Malak forces them to be the ominous background ambiance, so they choose to subtly try to screw him over and encourage us whilst doing so. (There is canonically whispering from the victims according to E, so I think this chorus might be part of this aspect of the lore.)

There are more than one type of Soul Shard, by the way. Depending on their level of spite, their energy, their personality and their desire to get back to their tormentors, they can sometimes appear as Stun Balls or Spotting Shards. Those are rare though, as most powerful souls are harvested ASAP. 

(They might also be the reason you don’t suffer from exhaustion from running, idk.)

Also, once they've been collected their spirits stick with us even through the levels they're not from and even in the Ballroom, which allows for scenes like this one.

(Sorry about the colors lol still figuring out the scanner)

Anyways, that was basically the long and the short of it, though assuming the spirits follow Doug throughout the entire thing, I’ve came up with a few bonuses. Plus some cozy Tammy thing for your comfort.

So yeah long story short this pretty much explains how come Doug has gone through more than one life. He’s more or less aware of that fact, but he’s a lot in denial of the whole process and pretend the deaths never happened in the first place and that the voices he hears are indeed the other victims crying out to him and nothing else. Each death makes him more cautious, more reactive, more alert, and also more impatient. He takes the advice and what help there is to take, however he tries not to talk to them. Too much to take in and he kinda has to focus on his own problems. It helps that Bierce seems to royally ignore them. They do *not* like Bierce, by the way.

In total, Doug has died about four times so far. He IS kind of lucky, in the end of the day. That or he might actually be talented, who knows.

-----

Okay, so that was my explanation ! Hope you had the patience to read through all of it, and that it makes sense to you. Also enjoy the Soul Shard content, I’ve done these a while ago.

Alright, thanks for your ask. You’re welcome and have a great night ✨🤗💖

[lovecolibri]

re: your this is the bad place post... honestly, i got so upset i actually got myself a headache.

i wish i could be normal about this show ngl

Samsies! Except mine is a stomach ache because that's were I carry all my stress and anxiety 🙃🙃🙃 I also wish I could be normal about this show but my brain said no 💙

We know how good the show can be, and watching it crumble before our eyes is SO frustrating. Especially because the scenes that are good are good! Ryan fucking BROUGHT it with Eddie this season and it's so frustrating to see his incredibly important storyline sort of wedged in here and there while they waste so time on these side characters! And I enjoy the emergency calls, but did we need THAT much time for the spider call?! We could have JUST had the owner calling about not getting ahold of the pet-sitter and then seen the cops come in walking past the spider enclosures, and maybe spent a tiny bit longer unearthing and treating him.

Then they could have used the rest of the time for Eddie's breakdown instead of not showing him wrecking the room, cutting off the breakdown instead of letting Buck comfort his best friend, and then cutting off AGAIN in what looked like the middle of the scene explaining his feelings. We have waited SO LONG for this and to hear about his feelings!! It's SUCH a disservice to have that tacked on to the end of the episode and cut off like that. I mentioned in a previous ask too that if they want to have a deeper reconciliation with him and Bobby later that's fine, but if that's the case, WHY tell us that he apologized? If we aren't going to see it, especially if we're not seeing it because there's a bigger scene about it later, why tell us at all? Just let there be the bigger scene!

And why have those beautiful Madney scenes in Boston only to have them turn around the next episode and be like, "oh we're different people now so we're done forever" OFF SCREEN?! They absolutely need some time, and that's okay! But remember after Doug when they talked about it? We got that amazing "we just need a minute" scene! We could have gotten a call back to that of them getting back to LA and then saying "I think we might need another minute". I'm not worried about Madney, they're going to be fine and JLH and Kenny will slay their scenes as always and their eventual "starting over" will be sweet, but the way they are handling this part right now is a disservice to the characters and their love story.

And all of this for what?! So we can make time for this new character we don't even need? So we can drag the dead, rotting corpse of bt around for another 4-5 episodes? Please, I am SO tired.

This IS the Bad Place.

[awigglycultist]

Htgcc notes bc no one is talking about what happened durning this livestream so here's just a list of moments I found funny, or interesting/important info

- Corey's set up looks so nice!

- Joey being upset with Brian being off center and Brian then taking a step the wrong way and Joey getting more upset bdjdjddb mood

- Brian has a green screen behind him and said ppl could photoshop him how has no one done anything yet

- someone called htgcc the sis sequel so Joey brought solve it squad back in biz and he was listing the guests and mentioned all of them except Robert

- Joey: "this is our mcu and it's solve it squad"

- you don't need to have seen sisbib to seen htgcc but there might be easter eggs

- Htgcc will be on youtube

- there will be new cast members

- it's not a tcb stream without technical difficulties. Also everyone's voices being so soft while this was happening, love it. Joey just like quietly worrying and them realizing no one can hear the audio and Brain going "oh, very fun" ndjddj

- Ashley says the only way TCB will hang out with her is if you give them money for this project bdjdbrbr

- Joey's eyes going wide and him doing a "no" motion with his hands and then them all going "that's not true! That's not true!" ndjdndd

- Very important: Joey is eating a donut bc he said he would

- Curt Mega helped out with the kickstarter video! Shout out to Curt! Also Joey said "in all aspects of having Curt around, both as performer and a filmmaker, he's just a truly stand up guy" we love friends supporting friends

- what is Grunch? Why Grunch?

- Brian played the Grunch "I'm a regular Doug Jones of the group. Slap on the ass got me and have me do silly things with my body"

- The Grunch will potentially sing in the show

- The Grunch's design will probably change

- Corey made the Grunch costume (and its held together with "hot glue, safety pins, and a prayer")

- The robots at kickstarter can get fucked!

- the first round of shout outs was singing ppl's names as holiday songs

- Corey at one point: "this is hard for this jew"

- they were talking about it being May but this being about holidays and Corey was saying he's being working on Christmas projects for the past two years so it does phase him and he said "it's always Christmas for this jew" ndjdnd

- Gabe: "god I'm so excited that we're finally, finally, doing a fully Hanukkah themed show" *cue Joey doing another "wait no" expression* "I've been pitching this to the tin can guys for" Brian: "tin can brothers. Doesn't even know our name"

- Evryone in the solve it squad is jewish except Keith djdbdbdhd. Esther is non religious but culturally Jewish. Keith is a God Fearing™ Christ Following™ Man™

- Brain, Corey, Lauren, Gabe and Ashley are all Jewish. Joey is the only one who's not. Brian: "were gonna have to look for some non-jews to keep it diverse"

- Brian: "do we need some Satanist in the crew I think"

- We can decide for ourselves wether the treetopper in the kickstarter vid is meant to be an ornament of Cluebert or his actual dead body

- (talking about how much the kickstarter was at) Joey: "it'd be awesome to get to 16! Hell it would be awesome to get 17 by the end of the stream! But ya know, no pressure" Brian: "and if we do Corey will dye his hair galaxy colors!" Corey: "I'm sorry, sorry you just cut out there, I don't know what you said"

- Joey's wants there to be a 69 somewhere in the end number of the kickstarter

- (talking about NFTs) Joey: "we think that stuff is stupid"

- They will be Very Serious during Clueberts funeral

- Lauren: "hi tin can brothers thank you so much for ordering this cameo from me, I know you guys are big fans"

- Lauren's is so funny bdjdbd acting like it's a cameo and being vauge about the squad "I think it's so good. I think the squad sounds so cute and good"

- *Joey trying to figure out how far away they are from their goal and cocking his head* Brain: "what are you doing with your body?" Joey: "I'm just trying to do math" Corey: "you gotta feel the numbers in your body"

- Joey: "ANTIFA isn't real. Leprechaun is"

[xpao-bearx]

《This story series is also on my AO3 acc @ Paoloca》

SUMMARY: The bachelors of Selphia conjure up a plan to decide who truly deserves the beautiful princess' heart...if Frey can only choose one of them, that is.

PAIRINGS: Frey x Vishnal, Frey x Kiel, Frey x Doug, Frey x Arthur, Frey x Dylas, Frey x Leon (Polyamorous Ships)

RATING: Mature/18+/Romance & Smut. Please bear these in mind if you are uncomfortable and do NOT report!

NOTE: I have been an avid fan and lover of the Rune Factory series for a looong fooken time now and with RF 5 coming up (who else can't wait?!?!) along with my bursting inspiration, I decided to do something a lil special~ 💖

This story is actually one I wrote--or at least TRIED to write as I didn't finish it--many years ago on my old Wattpad acc (I have a new one now). As such, I'm taking the basic plotline from the original idea I had and simply making it a bit better especially now that I'm older + more mature (pfft yeah sure "mAtUrE" xD).

I sincerely and deeply love ALL of the amazing bachelors on RF 4 and as someone who absolutely ✨A D O R E S✨ reverse harems, I really *personally* don't think that Frey has to choose! And so, here's a naughty + sweet story that'll kinda just delve into my--and I'm sure others'--fantasy ;)

I hope ya lovelies will enjoy this story series and your wonderful support is always very much appreciated! 🥺💕💕 Also, feel free to fangirl/fanboy with me anytime~

P.S. Please forgive mah pathetic ass in advance if I ever portray any of the characters wrong, I promise to do my best!!

"The Princess' Harem"

Part 1: The Game

☆ALL CREDIT GOES TO THE TALENTED ARTIST☆

Summer 1, the dawn of a sweltering season. But most of all...

Beach Day!

Ah, yes, a most wonderful holiday to take a dip in the refreshing water and don the most attractive swimsuits that perfectly hugged one's form! And while it was understandable for the gentlemen to gawk and admire the lovely ladies, it seemed that all the bachelors of Selphia were completely ensnared by one warrior princess in particular...

Frey's tinkly laughter carried in the air as she happily swam around in the lake with the other girls. It was certainly a gorgeous day, yet none could quite rival the turquoise haired beauty's radiant smile.

"Haa... The princess is SO beautiful~" Vishnal sighed dreamily, his violet eyes turning into hearts.

"A goddess among mere mortals!" Kiel piped up cutely.

"You guys are so lame! But, uh... Y-Yeah, I agree, I guess." Doug conceded, face flushing as scarlet as his hair.

"I am a man, after all. Therefore, I must say I agree as well." Arthur cleared his throat, propping his glasses.

"You are all perverts..." Dylas grumbled, though he couldn't help but shyly sneak a peek at Frey.

"My, my~ You're such a bad liar, horsie. Calling us perverts when you, yourself, are one~" Leon chuckled, smirking.

"Who're ya calling horsie?!" Dylas snapped, but couldn't start an argument when all of them heard a splash and saw Frey emerge onto shore.

"Princess!" Vishnal beamed, not wasting a single second as he dashed towards her with a towel much like an excited puppy. "Are you done swimming?"

Frey gratefully took the towel, wiping her drenching body with it. "Yes, I am! And once I change into my clothes, I'm going to be checking the requests."

"You're ever so diligent, Frey. I truly admire that about you." Arthur smiled as he and the rest of the boys approached their beloved girlfriend. Arthur's glasses then flashed as the sun reflected on them, and he quickly grabbed that splendid opportunity for his gaze to drop and hyperfocus on Frey's nearly naked body. He barely managed to suppress it as he almost shamelessly licked his lips, fully taking in and very much appreciating her wet and fit physique.

"Oh, it's nothing! I'm only doing my duties." Frey giggled, embarrassed as her cheeks tinted pink. "But other than that, how come you guys aren't in your swimsuits? It's boiling!" She frowned worriedly.

"Why, is milady that eager to see me in all my glory?" Leon purred, standing in front of her in a flash. His teal eyes sparkled mischievously, as one of his hands reached forward to run his fingers through her long hair. "If you want to see me that badly, I'd rather 'perform' a private show for you tonight~"

Frey became as red as a ruby, opening and closing her mouth repeatedly like a fish out of water. She tried to speak, but no words came out as she could only stare up with eyes as wide as dinner plates at an amused Leon who was enjoying this situation far too much.

"Oi, knock it off!" Dylas growled, wrapping a protective arm around Frey as he glared sharply at Leon. "She's gonna go fishing with me after she's done, anyways!"

"WHAT?! No fair, you can't hog her all to yourself! If you guys are going fishing then I'm going, too!" Doug huffed, snatching Frey away from Dylas.

"No way, you dumbass dwarf! You're not invited!"

"Well, I am now, you fucking nag!"

As the two handsome idiots bickered like an old married couple and fought over Frey, she could only release an exasperated sigh. Honestly, she loved them both, but there was really no use trying to talk any sense into them. The best anyone could do was just wait it out until they inevitably get tired.

But as Doug and Dylas were yanking Frey from one side to another like a ragdoll, they suddenly stopped. It seems that everyone else halted, too, and the air blew bitter cold. Frey, oblivious, could only raise a brow before she finally realized--or more like felt--what all the boys were staring at.

She looked down, Doug and Dylas' hands accidentally cupping each one of Frey's breasts. All of the boys were a thousand shades of crimson, and Vishnal even started to have a nosebleed.

"ACK! S-Sorry..!" Doug and Dylas exclaimed in unison, abruptly pulling their hands away as if they were burned.

"O-Oh, uh, it's f-fine..!" Frey stuttered, not being able to meet anyone's gaze. "I-It was just an accident, after all!"

"Are you sure you're alright, Frey?" Kiel asked, holding her hands into his gently as he studied her face in concern. "These lowlifes didn't hurt you, did they?" It was rare for Kiel to be angry let alone badmouthing anyone, but it was clear from his tone how upset he was. Honestly, Doug and Dylas were a little scared...

"Y-Yes, I'm alright!" Frey nodded vigorously, smiling brightly. "Seriously, guys, don't worry about me! I'll see you all later, okay?" She hurriedly gave each one of them a chaste peck on the cheek before making her way back to the castle.

"So..." Leon began, a fake smile plastered on his lips as his eyes held no emotion. "I wonder who the true perverts are now?"

"H-Hey, it was an accident! Besides, it's all this moron's fault!" Dylas retorted, pointing an accusatory finger at Doug.

"MY fault?! If you just invited me in the first place, none of this would've happened!" Doug shouted furiously.

"You guys...touched...the princess' b-b-breasts..." Vishnal muttered, totally lost in his own world as he was slowly deteriorating from existence.

"Oh, my..." Arthur let out a heavy exhale. "I'm sure you two already know this, but as soon as Frey is done with her tasks then you both must apologize to her again. Accident or not, it is completely unacceptable for a man to touch a woman without her consent."

"Hey, y'know, I've been wondering..." Kiel cut in. "Do you guys ever think if Frey is just being strung along by us?"

"What do you mean?" Doug frowned.

"Like, didn't we confess to Frey at different times? And at every confession, she rejected all of us. And later on, it was only then we found out that we all shared the same feelings for her."

"So, what's your point?" Dylas pressed.

Kiel sighed, staring pointedly at the taller man. "Don't you find it a bit weird that now, we're all in a relationship with her? I know that being in a polyamorous relationship with Frey was something we all consented on from the very beginning, but why the sudden change of heart?"

"Isn't it obvious? Being in a polyamorous relationship means that Frey likes all of us at the same time, which is fine. Maybe she was just too shy at first to admit it." Leon shrugged.

"That may be true, or...what if she's only with us out of pity?" A wave of realization washed through everyone, and a certain pang of sadness settled in their hearts. "Frey is such a nice person, it's possible she only agreed to be with us since she felt bad for rejecting us. And now, she doesn't know how to break up with us for fear of hurting us even more."

"There's also one other possibility..." Arthur spoke up. "What if she actually likes one of us, but can't exclusively date that person?"

Dead silence. Only the faint sounds of the lake thrashing and birds chirping, before Vishnal was the one who first woke up back to reality.

"So... What are we supposed to do?" He questioned softly. "I feel so terrible... If what you're saying is true, then I don't want to continue on like this. I love Frey, but I can't ever bear the thought of hurting her!"

"How about a game?" Leon suggested.

"Now's really not the time, foxy." Doug rolled his eyes.

"No, no. You've misunderstood." Leon shook his head. "I'm talking about a game to see who Frey truly likes or doesn't like. And that way, we won't have to be hurting her and suffering like this anymore."

"Hmm... An interesting proposition." Arthur hummed thoughtfully. "I don't quite like referring to this as a 'game', but colour me intrigued. What's your idea, then?"

"Alright. So, we each get one whole day to spend with Frey. Completely alone, and no one is allowed to bother anyone else. As long as Frey is okay with it, then we can do whatever we want with her. Going on dates, exploring...you get the idea. Finally, by the end of the week, we'll all ask her how she feels and who she had the most fun with. Her answer will then determine what will happen afterwards."

"Hmph. Okay, that sounds good." Dylas nodded, agreeing for once. "How can we settle who goes first and last, though?"

"I think it would only be fair if we go in the order that Frey met us. So it's Vishnal, me, Doug, Arthur, Dylas, and then Leon." Kiel offered.

"All in favour?" Arthur asked, and everyone collectively voiced out their approval. "Good. It's settled, then. May the best man win!"

"Speaking of, I forgot that the castle is undergoing construction! So please excuse me, I'll have to get going now!" Vishnal grinned, disappearing in a blink of an eye.

"Wait... I just visited Ventuswill earlier with Granny Blossom." Doug furrowed his brows before gasping. "That bastard..! He went to go have a headstart with Frey!" He immediately chased after the conniving butler, but not before his shoulder got bumped hard by Dylas.

"If anyone's gonna get a headstart, it's me!"

"Oh, shut the hell up, HORSIE!"

Arthur sighed deeply, rubbing his temples stressfully as Kiel only chuckled sheepishly. Leon simply watched the scene, his fan hiding his smirk.

'There is a saying: Save the best for last~' Leon thought satisfyingly to himself.

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.11: “Damaged Goods”

THEN: Oh, good, we're going to have a Nick episode. I was hoping for that. (NOT.) Michael is trapped in Dean's internal walk-in. Billie has bad news related to that.

NOW: Nick interrogates a demon about another demon named Abraxis. The name sounds a little familiar and I waste a few seconds wondering where I've heard it before, but then I realize it's the demon who killed Nick's family and this has been Nick's entire focus and that's how little I care about Nick and his quest, that I couldn't even bother to remember who he was after. Anyway, he learns that the hunter who last dealt with Abraxis is in Hibbing. Oooh, who else do we know in Hibbing?

Title card!

Dean is packing. Books about angels. Tools. Work gloves. I was a little afraid we were going to ignore last week's horrifying revelation, and Dean would just sit on that information for a while. But he's wearing his Red Shirt of Bad Decisions, so we know the shit is going down tonight! \o/

He leaves the storeroom and kind of looks down the hallway, which is really insignificant the first time you watch this episode, but on rewatch you realize what he's thinking right here, and that he doesn't ever expect to see this hallway again... but I'm getting ahead of myself. He goes into the library, where Sam is quietly studying in the darkness (is that a new shirt? I like it). He ignores it when Sam asks how he's feeling. Dean tells Sam he appreciates that he's trying to help him, and Sam's all, yeah, what else would I do? He asks if Dean wants to join him, and they have this conversation.

Actually, I thought I'd go for a drive, you know, just me and Baby, long stretch of road. And figured I'd make it a two-fer, go see Mom at Donna's cabin.

Yeah, yeah, that sounds great. Be good to see them. Just let me find a stopping point and get packed up.

Actually, I was, uh, I was kind of hoping for some one-on-one time with Mom, if that's cool.

Yeah. Sure, yeah. Whatever you need.

And I thought this conversation was going to break my heart, because Sam clearly does NOT think this trip sounds great, but he's going to go anyway because it's what Dean wants/needs to do, and then Dean rejects that, and Sam's little face is going to do me in. And on rewatch, it kind of seems like Dean is stalling here, like he can't bring himself to leave (but again, I'm getting ahead of myself) AND THEN THIS HAPPENS.

Dean comes around behind Sam and HUGS HIM and says "take care, Sammy" and I'm just WHAAAAT. NO THIS IS NOT RIGHT. THIS IS SUCH A BAD, BAD SIGN, SAM WINCHESTER, AND YOU KNOW IT.

And also, there goes the rest of my heart.

Cut to Mary at the aforementioned cabin, talking to Sam on the phone. She says the cabin's been quiet since Bobby took off for a few days. The old "I need a little space after killing the ghoul version of my dead son" thing. Happens to the best of us. Sam tells her he's worried because Dean's acting so weird, and mentions the hug. Mary says "that's sweet," proving that she doesn't know her sons at all. Really, Mary, you've witnessed ONE hug between them. ONE. Sam points out that they don't hug unless it's "literally the end of the world," which isn't quite true. It would be more accurate to say "unless one of us is dying or just came back from the dead," which is slightly more frequent than the end of the world Either way, Mary assures him that everything will be fine. But as Sam's talking to her, he's walking through the storerooms in the bunker and he sees some books are missing.

(Sidebar: Why are these books kept in the storeroom and not the library? And why are regular tools apparently kept with supernatural paraphernalia? Couldn't that cause problems? What if a MoL novice was sent to Storeroom 2 for a reciprocating saw and he couldn't figure out why a saw would reciprocate or what that would look like and he came back with something he dug out of a curse box instead? I'm seeing all kinds of potential OSHA violations here.)

Now we see Dean enjoying a messy burger. Oh, he's with Donna! I love Dean and Donna, y'all. She tries to ask him about himself, but he keeps deflecting. Which doesn't fool her at all, and she finally says "just wondering if you've run out of ways to ask me how I'm doing, so as to avoid me repaying the favor." She knows about Michael, because of Sam. "What, has he got a freaking newsletter," Dean grumps. But I'm glad to see Sam's been talking to his support system, because in the past, he's not done that as often as he should.

Dean ends the conversation with the typical "I'm fine" nonsense and gives Donna one of those big hugs where he looks absolutely stricken while she can't see him and then plasters on a smile when they pull apart, and you KNOW how I love when he does that. He pulls away and says "I'll see ya." But it's pretty obvious Dean is on his farewell tour and never intends to see Donna again. It's also pretty obvious that Donna can tell something is up.

Dean pulls up to the cabin, which is seriously in need of some work on the roof, and immediately hears gunshots. It turns out to be Mary murdering some pumpkins for target practice. (SHE'S STILL GOT THAT LOCK OF TOO-LONG HAIR.) He tells her he wants to stick around for a couple of days, which surprises her. She suggests they call Sam to join them, but he says he wants to be "a little greedy with my Mom time." No, Dean, that's not suspicious at all. Jesus. (Or, as someone pointed out, Sorry Sam, but Mom was MY gift.)

Mary pushes it, and Dean comes right out and says "I don't want Sam here," and again, Dean, that's not suspicious at all. How is someone who lies professionally such a BAD liar? He explains his mood away by claiming to be hangry, even though he just finished the best burger in all of Minnesota, and tells Mary he wants the one thing she can cook, something called Winchester Surprise. She heads out to the grocery store, and doesn't suggest that the son who drove all this way to see her would want to ride along. Or maybe she does, and he refuses, and they just didn't show us that part. Anyway, the important thing is, Dean's alone and he has work to do.

He gets his bag out of the Impala and strides purposely into a large shed decorated with pictures of topless guys with 70s porn 'staches. The first one reminds me a LOT of Doug 2.0, so I laugh when Dean says "Well, Donna certainly has a type." Yes she does. He finds an 8-track player, of all things, but is interrupted by a sudden burst of Michael banging on his door. The tape he chooses is the Guess Who, and the song is "No Time Left For You," which I've never liked (lots of experience with 70s music here, kiddos) but it seems appropriate. And then he gets to work, and if you thought Sam soldering last week was hot, you're in for a treat. Let's forget our annoyance with the soundtrack and concentrate on how much we appreciate Metalworking!Dean, complete with welding helmet and safety goggles, under the watchful eyes of several shirtless moustachioed cowboys.

Mmmm, yes, we do appreciate it.

(Sidebar: Where did all this metal come from?)

Meanwhile, at the grocery store, we get a fake-out where we think someone threatening is accosting Mary, but it's only a friendly employee. And we also see that Mary puts her grocery bags in the bed of her truck? So not only does she not know how to cook, but she doesn't even know where to PUT FOOD? I.e., IN THE CAB?

He says buying food is new for her, because she usually buys whiskey, pumpkins, and crossword puzzles. Damn, Mary, it really seems like things aren't going well out there at the Love Shack if you're spending all day drinking, shooting pumpkins, and doing crossword puzzles. I'm gonna go ahead and call it - Mobby is doomed. She tells him she has family in town, which I expect to turn into the inevitable oh no, this guy is a demon and now he knows Dean is there.

But I'm exactly wrong. Nick pulls up in the creepiest windowless van possible and asks the guy if he knows where Mary Winchester is. Because why wouldn't he? Why wouldn't Random Grocery Store Guy know where everyone in Hibbing Minnesota, population 16,361, resident or guest, lives? Random Grocery Store Guy pretends he doesn't know who she is. Good for him.

(BTW, the fastest route from Lebanon to Hibbing is about 12.5 hours. But it's all interstate and I suspect either Winchester would take the route that uses more state highways and is 13.5 hours.)

(Sidebar: Yes, when I open Mapquest, Lebanon is always in my Recents. Is that not normal?)

Apparently Nick decides he'll just cruise the greater Hibbing area and try to find her, because we seem him after nightfall driving his creepy van. A police car drives by, and then turns around and pulls him over. He makes sure his stolen angel blade is in place and hides a paperclip somewhere on his person before the officer gets to him. Oooh, it's Donna!

She cuffs him and tells him the van's been reported stolen, but she also reveals she knows he's looking for Mary, and don't like the way she lays all her cards on the table like that. Let him think you're just arresting him for a stolen car, Donna. Don't let him know you're onto his Grand Scheme. He says his name is "Nunya" and then "Eat Me" (oooh, is he related to the Eat Me Sam met a few seasons ago?), but she's got some kind of mobile fingerprint scanner. Does this thing exist? She discovers who he is, but while her back is turned, he uses his paperclip to get out of the cuffs. They fight, and she seems to have the upper hand, but he gets her taser and that's the end of that.

Love Shack. When Mary pulls up, Dean is outside by the door to the Shed of Mysterious Building. He lies about what he's doing out there and carries the groceries inside, to where the table is set and he wants to help her cook (THIS IS NOT OKAY) and she FINALLY realizes something is up. (Also, Dean, we know you're not a terrible cook. Don't lie just to make your mom feel better.) She quietly talks to Sam from upstairs (though not quietly enough, Dean totally would have heard her in the real world) and agrees that something is going on. Sam tells her about the missing items and says he thinks he should come up, but she says to give her more time. WHY, MARY. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU ARE THE PERSON TO ADDRESS THIS AND NOT SAM. WHY DO YOU INSIST ON KEEPING HIM 13.5 HOURS AWAY. WHY. It doesn't matter, because when Sam hangs up, we see he's already on his way. YES. THAT'S MY BOY.

Dinner. Dean tells a funny/tragic story about their childhood and Mary gets a case of The Sads, realizing how much she's missed and "how much the two of you just..." Just everything, Mary. They just EVERYTHING. Together. Without John, without you. AND STILL YOU THINK SAM SHOULD SIT IN THE BUNKER AND LET YOU HANDLE THIS. DAMMIT, MARY.

Anyway. Dean says her being alive has meant "everything to me, and everything to Sam." He claims to appreciate this wonderful time they're having, but he falters when he says "there's no clouds on the horizon." Because it's a LIE. She tells him he can talk to her about whatever he's going through, and he says "Everybody keeps asking me how I am. And how I am, is I don't want to talk about it. Please."

Oh lord, his face.

Later, as he snores gently on the couch, we see Mary tiptoe downstairs and outside, to check out what's happening in the Shed of Mysterious Building. (Sidebar: Dean sleeps with one arm flung behind his back, which I think we first saw in No Escape, and I always thought it was an odd and fake-looking way to sleep until I realized I actually do that sometimes myself.) She looks through the books and things and figures out what he's doing and it must be bad because she says "no, no, no." Meanwhile, Donna is waking up inside her own cruiser. I wonder why Nick left her alive?

Dean wakes up to the sound of a ringing phone. It's not his, it's Mary's. Donna is calling to warn him about Nick. But it's too late, because when Dean goes outside, Mary isn't there. But Sam is. "Hey, whoa, easy!" he says, facing down Dean's gun, and that tickles me for some reason.

Creepy van. Nick whines to Mary. He found email from Mary in Donna's phone, giving the address of the Love Shack. He thinks Mary knows where Abraxis is. She does - the demon is trapped inside an Enochian puzzle box in a storage locker, locately conveniently in or near Hibbing. I don't care about any of this.

At the Love Shack, Sam blames himself for Nick running around like a free madman, because of course he does. Donna's APB gets a result - the creepy van has been spotted outside Grand Rapids. Donna says that's 30-40 minutes away, but Grand Rapids is actually 11.5 hours away from Hibbing. Maybe there's a little town called Grand Rapids near Hibbing. A town so small that Mapquest doesn't even know about it.

(I KNOW. NO ONE CARES. MOVING ON.)

Nick gets the Enochian puzzle box (yeah, this scene goes on FOREVER and I'm skipping a lot here, is anyone complaining? nope didn't think so) and wants to release the demon so they can talk. Mary points out that the demon needs a host to talk, and it can't be Nick and it can't be her, and she flashes an anti-possession tattoo as explanation. So drills the box open and Nick forces the storage locker employee to be the host. Abraxis says he'll tell Nick why they killed his family if he kills Mary slow and bloody.

While this is happening, we see Sam and Dean on that 30 minute/11.5 hour drive to Grand Rapids. Sam looks despondent, and they have this conversation:

Say it. I can see you want to. Might as well go ahead and say it.

All right. Nick is not a project. He's not a freaking puppy. He was Lucifer's vessel for years.

I know that, Dean, I thought -

You thought he'd what, just walk it off? Come on, man, you're not that dumb.

It's not about being dumb, Dean, it's called compassion. Look, what happened to Nick could have happened to me. It almost happened to me. You change one little thing in our past and that WAS me! Lucifer wearing ME to the prom. Besides, since when do we give up on people? Since when do we just cut people loose?

Well, maybe you need to learn, okay? Because when people are past the point of saving, maybe you need to learn to walk away.

Ouch. I hurt for both of them. Poor Sam, seeing himself in Nick and wanting to save that guy the way he wishes someone had wanted to save him. Having faith in Nick's potential the way he wanted someone, anyone, to have faith in his own. And Dean obviously isn't talking about Nick, at least not there at the end, because we've heard it from Dean before, talking about himself. I can't be saved; walk away.

The guys arrive at the storage locker just in time to stop Nick from killing Mary slow and bloody. Nick scratches out the devil's trap that's holding the demon, and Abraxis immediately tosses them around and tells Nick he was chosen completely at random. Damn, Nick is as whiny as Lucifer was. (I wonder who influenced who? Discuss.)

Dean tries to quietly exorcise the demon, but Abraxis flings him against a shelf and we get a flash of skin. But before he can start killing anyone, Nick stabs him with the stolen angel blade. Then Nick acts like he's going to stab the others if they don't let him escape, so Donna shoots him in the leg. Dammit, Donna, this was the perfect opportunity to kill him. He already killed one person, and he was threatening to kill the rest of you. It would have been a clean shoot. Instead, Mary punches the wounded whiny baby and Sam does a wee little version of his glorious post-exertion huff.

Outside, Sam gives Nick a sad, confused look.

Why?

I needed the truth, Sam. I needed revenge for my family. You would have done the same thing.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't help you, I'm sorry I didn't know how.

It's not about you, Sam. It was never about you. You couldn't fix me because I didn't want to be fixed. I was never broken.

Yeah, Nick, you are. I don't feel sorry for you, Nick. I feel sorry for the people you hurt, the people you murdered. The people whose faces will haunt you every night for the rest of your life. You can burn.

FUUUUUCK. That's cold as hell and it's not like Sam Winchester at all and I love it to pieces. He's finally given up on this asshole. But it's finally time to move away from the B plot, and Mary tells Dean she saw what he was building in the shed. She knows what he's building, she knows what he's planning, and the three of them ARE going to talk about it. And if he doesn't tell Sam, she will. So, you finally think Sam's input is important, Mary? Good to know.

When the sun rises, we're back at the Shed of Mysterious Building. Dean is showing Sam what he's done. He calls it something like a "maloch box," which I'm sure is spelled wrong. It looks like a giant coffin (yeah, about that...) Nothing can escape it, not even an archangel. Sam knows what they are but says they're impossible to build, and Dean's all, "not so much." And then they have this conversation and I'm sorry (no I'm not), but I had to transcribe the whole thing.

That's your plan? You want to be buried alive?

Buried's not safe enough. Plan is, pay a little hush money, charter a boat to take me out to the Pacific. Splash.

You and Michael, trapped, together, for eternity.

Yeah.

You do realize how insane this is, right?

It's the only sane play I've got. Michael gets out, that's it for this world. And he will get out.

How do you know that for sure?

Because I do. Because I can feel him, in my head. That door is giving. I can feel it giving.

There has to be another way.

There's not, okay? There's... Sam, you've tried. Cas has tried. Jack. And I love you for trying, but none of it's going to work.

But we don't know that!

Yeah, we do.

What?

Billie. She paid me a little visit. She said that there's only one way that this ends right. And this is it. This, right here. This box. So she gave up the special recipe and all I had to do was the work. It's fate.

Since when do we believe in fate?

Now, Sam. Since now.

So, you came out here, to see Donna, to see Mom, on some what, some sick secret farewell tour? You were gonna leave, and you weren't even gonna tell me. Me. Do you realize how messed up that is? How unfair that is?

I didn't have a choice! Sam, you're the last person I could tell, the last person I could be around, cause you're the only one that could have talked me out of it! And I won't be talked out of it. I won't. I'm doing this. Now you can either let me do it alone, or you could help me. But I'm doing this.

...

All right.

Oh, guys.

Well, I've got to admit, Dean's prophesied horrifying death was a letdown. First, because it wasn't even new - it was basically the same fate Death offered him when he had the MoC. Worse, sure. Being locked in a box with an angry archangel rather than floating in space and having some kind of dream life, never a good option. (ASK SAM. HE KNOWS.) But mostly because it didn't live up to his reaction when he first read Billie's book. I was sure (and I wasn't alone) that his tearful reaction meant it was going to involve something horrible for someone he loves (SAM). But this? The Dean we know would have reacted the way he did when Rowena told him he had to "be the bomb" in order to destroy Amara. Yeah, this sucks, but I always knew it was gonna end ugly, so, whaddya gonna do?

(Sidebar: This brings up an interesting question. I know an angel's vessel is immortal, but would Dean still be immortal even though Michael was trapped inside his head? Would the fact that Michael wasn't in the driver's seat stop him from keeping his vessel alive? Or would the angel's grace do that all on its own?)

But oh, guys. This scene. THIS SCENE. These two. Dean saying I love you for trying. Dean at the beginning, chin up, so defiant, so defensive because this is exactly what he was afraid of - telling Sam, and having to stick to his plan. (He's probably remembering the last time Sam talked him out of this very thing, kneeling on the floor in front of him, agreeing to support the plan for Dean to lock himself up with the Mark of Cain forever, looking up at him with the puppy dog eyes and nodding to accept that Dean has to cut his head off in order to prevent him from undoing that act; or maybe he's not actually remembering that but now I am, goddammit guys, I need a minute.) And Sam realizing that last little hug was Dean's last planned goodbye, and being so angry and so hurt, and the way he looks so young there at the end, when he stops and finally says "all right." I know we've seen this before but IT STILL GETS ME. EVERY DAMN TIME.

(Sidebar: Did Dean leave Sam a note? Is it in the bunker somewhere? Because Sam's last conversation with his father was the old man saying I don't know why we always fight, now go away and his last conversation with his brother would have been I want to go visit Mom without you. Discuss. Fanfic it. Come wail with me about it.)

(Also... Dean's farewell tour didn't include Cas? Jack? Jody?)

Well. Happy 40th birthday, Dean Winchester.

Worst. Birthday. Ever.

So, this episode? Too much Nick. Not enough Sam. Things that did not live up to expectations. But also, things that were wonderfully unexpected. I've seen worse, my friends. What did you think? And please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!

[effervescentluminescence]

Not exactly on topic but this just makes me think about how OFMD creates tension by butting genres up against each other that have different expectations surrounding the consequences of actions and extent of harm caused by violent acts.

What I see OP talking about here is how we have two genres in conflict: the gritty pirate semi-realistic world, where harsh reality forces people into making horrible choices and everyone is deeply traumatized and violence is extremely normalized, vs. the muppet world, where slapstick rules and no one actually dies and if you cut off your finger your boyfriend will just whittle you a new one and you can take a sword through your guts as long as goes through the right spot. In the gritty pirate world, we acknowledge that the horrible things people do to each other are horrible, but everything is pretty horrible so do we really care? Plus, we can probably find a way to excuse these actions if they can be rationalized somehow. In the muppet world, the horrible things people do to each other aren't actually horrible for...muppet reasons. The only "people" who die are the ones who deserve it, and any disability can be accommodated with a bit of creativity, and if what they did really was that horrible, then just chalk it up to them being quirky and move on.

Anyway, so we have Ed, who originates in the gritty pirate world, and Stede, who originates in a period drama, there together on the Revenge, which is the locus of the muppet world. The deaths and maimings that Ed was responsible for happened in the gritty pirate world, but for the most part, we're talking about it in the muppet world. The best example of this is when Calico Jack is talking about Ed burning the ship with all the crew inside. Jack describes it in great detail, down to the skin melting off the victims' faces. Stede appears pretty disturbed by the telling and Ed seems somewhat ashamed. In the pirate world, we'll accept a good excuse, but Ed doesn't provide rationale for these actions. Instead he tries to brush it off, saying, "Well technically, the fire killed those guys," which is a very funny muppety line.

So here I ask the question: Am I supposed to frame Ed's actions described here as "horrible things that are inexcusable even in the pirate world" or as "something Ed did when he was feeling quirky back in the day, and it doesn't matter anyway because the victims are muppet-people for whom death is not necessarily the final consequence"? I'm not sure, and I love that. That Calico Jack is pretty muppety compared to the other pirates we've seen (Izzy particularly, and Blackbeard & Ivan & Fang in the scenes prior to them being on the Revenge) doesn't really help me come to a solid conclusion.

Later, when the English capture the Revenge, the muppet world breaks down, at least for Stede and Ed. Stede then tries to go back to his period drama, but Mary has created her own muppet world that he's not a part of. In a period drama, the presumed-dead husband would likely be greeted with, if not fanfare, then at least some measure of joy or drama, not your wife vomiting at the sight of you when you interrupt her gathering of happy widows. Stede is not the right kind of muppet for Mary's muppet world, and he ends up bringing some gritty pirate drama to her art show when he nearly stabs Doug. It's shocking, but it's Mary's muppet world, so after a round of attempted murder on Mary's part, they're even and all is forgiven.

Meanwhile, Ed is bringing the gritty pirate world to the Revenge--Izzy never entered the muppet world after all, so it makes sense that he was the catalyst for Ed to lose his footing and fail to maintain his place in the muppet world there. Luckily, it seems that the muppet world is actually a state of mind, so the crew who are marooned are rescued almost immediately. Lucius, who got too close to Blackbeard, and Frenchie and Jim, who have darker backstories (Jim definitely, and you can probably make an argument from what we know about Frenchie) are not so lucky.

Because of Mary's arc in particular, I think endgame here is for everyone to get themselves back into the muppet world, where happiness has a sort of ease to it and all harm can heal without too much time or effort and anything bad that happens off screen wasn't that bad, actually. How that will happen, who can say?

In the past 10 years or so, I've seen a lot more commentary/critique of media that involves victims of violence where death and injury is either played for laughs (hard to think of a specific example because it's so pervasive in comedy) or not acknowledged at all (mass casualties in war/alien invasion/etc.). So there's a greater consciousness around "hey, that guy he killed was a person!" or when Ed says, "Maiming's different. Love a good maim," and I think, "lol what a funny thing to say...that's really fucked up, though, isn't it?" And I think this consciousness is what allows the juxtaposition of these genres to add some really interesting layers to the storytelling.

I’m slightly tempted to go back and find every instance of someone in OFMD talking about what Blackbeard/Ed was like before we meet him. The show is just littered with references like, “He’d kill you if you called him Ed,” or listing the atrocities he committed like burning a ship full of people alive or feeding people their own toes, and even casual cruelties like telling Fang to put his dog down if he wants to join the crew…

… and the thing is, Ed is so lovely that we kind of dismiss all these statements the same way Stede does? They’re treated like comedy beats or tall tales at most. We’re kind of asked to forget and ignore them as being inaccurate—despite the fact they’re often coming from people who know Ed VERY WELL, much better than Stede knows him and for much, much longer— and we’re still being told to ignore them aaaalllll the way up until Ed’s heel turn back into the Kraken (a form of Blackbeard that might arguably turn out to be a way worse version than even the hair-raising rumors we’ve heard before this point).

I want to compile them because I think they may have all been true. And not just true but actually blazing neon signposts for what we can expect to see from Ed in S2. Sure, I think he’ll be redeemed, and yes I think his actions will be tempered by his regrets and the pain he’s in and the fact that maybe he still doesn’t really want to be doing all this anymore. But I think before we can get a proper healing arc for Ed like the one we got for Stede we have to see just how bad he really was and guys, I think it was really bad and that we’ve been told this outright the whole time.