#i love how im actually lesbian irl but have only male fictional crushes lol

[his-ghostly-wife]

Make fun of me based off of my crushes 😭 PT 2!

[zesbian]

hi! im a baby lgbt+ kid (i dunno what to call myself, rip) i get really worried because irl i would never want to be with a man because they are gross and scary but i get crushes on fictional male characters more than I do female? is this weird? am i straight? i like girls a lot but i rarely fantasize about them? i can see myself with a husband at all, and most of my crushes are on girls. i worry all the time that im not a 'real' lesbian (sorry to bother you, any advice is appreciated!!!)

hey there! well to me that sounds a lot like how I viewed my sexuality during high school- full of compulsory heterosexuality. yeah Zayn Malik was cute and all, but literally any man who got near me I’d be like BLEGH GROSS. I also had this belief that I COULD marry/date a guy like if I had to. I also had a huuuuge list of standards for men, and if they didn’t fit the whole list then I wouldn’t even look at them. All of those situations require a hypothetically perfect situation and had me acting under the impression that relationships with men weren’t something that I should be looking forward to, but rather just something that will eventually happen that I guess I could do. but like, marriage and relationships DONT HAVE TO HAPPEN IF YOU DONT WANT THEM TO!! ALSO!! if a man is like a celeb or a fictional character then he’s what I like to call a “safe crush”. a safe crush is a guy who I KNOW I’d never have a chance with, who I may just find attractive (just like anyone of any gender can find anyone nice looking, regardless of their sexuality lol); but then if I were to actually meet this guy and he were to ask me out, or if I were to say, grow up with him as one of my friends, I’d be repulsed by the idea of like hooking up with him or dating him. so to me, that was a pretty big indicator of being a lesbian. here’s a post I love that talks a lot about what you seem to be dealing with: http://thatdiabolicalfeminist.tumblr.com/post/164526814159/common-experiences-of-lesbians-who-dont-knowNow when it comes to the whole “fantasizing” thing, you mentioned you were a kid (idk if you meant like actually a kid or just someone who recently realized they were gay), so that could just be that you might be too young to rly be thinking hardcore about that kinda stuff lol (and if you are young then, as a 20 year old, I think it would be a bit inappropriate for me to give advice on that 😅). But the main thing I can tell you is that because of compulsory het, a lot of lesbians sorta have to re-wire how they view women in a romantic or sexual situation, so maybe that could be the issue. I dated a girl for 2 months that I was intimate with who I STILL ever now and then had doubts about; it’s a pretty common lesbian experience. and to finish (unless I find more helpful links which ill add on later, which I’ll comment below) I’m gonna let you in on a little secret: TUMBLR IS DUMB ABOUT WHO CAN AND CANT BE A LESBIAN. do you think you like only girls? boom. lesbian! do you (and this is what I did) currently ID as bi, but think you might be a lesbian so you just want to try out the title for yourself and only date girls for a while? boom. lesbian! literally all it requires is that you like girls. (there are even ace lesbians!) so take your time, there’s no rush, and remember that I, and many many other lesbian users on here, support you while you’re figuring this all out. (PS: also it’s totally cool to go from one sexuality to another. there’s no sexuality police ((yet)) and no one is gonna flip out if you go from like bi to lesbian to pan or whatever. it’s your life, you get to label your attraction however you see fit.)