#i love him your honor. hes my babygirl. my blorbo

[hellinistical]

6:18

The henna on your hands was masterpiece. Intricate floral designs, patterns, criss-crosses- it was just so pretty. Your wedding was only 3 days away, so you figured you'd just go ahead and do it so the stain would get as dark as possible before the day.

That, and putting nails on with henna in the same day was too much.

And really, you thought he'd see it immediately, what with your fish being such a good artist and all.

Turns out he couldn't.

Rafayel had been looking at your hands and arms for the past 2 hours, and still, nothing. He thought he saw an 'R' or even an 'ر', but still- nothing.

"I give up. Is it on your feet?" He dramatically throws your hands back into your lap, laying back on his oversized bed.

Laughing, you shake your head. "You really don't see it?"

"No!"

And even the next day, he doesn't find it. Or the day after. And then on the day of, well...

He shows your hands off happily.

"We're married. See that? Find my name. Bet you can't. She's all mine."

Thomas smiles, though slightly exasperated. "I understand that, sir. Congratulations."

Talia snorted. You whisper in her ear.

"He's happy to brag but he still hasn't found his name yet."

"Where is it?"

You wink, putting a finger to your lips before subtley gesturing to a suspicious looking flower petal. On the curled end, his name connected the lines.

[thatguywasvaping]

MAXIE WITH BUNNY EARS I'M SOBBING 😭💞

[pluralswagbracket]

Oh we’re running blorbo propaganda campaigns right now? I thought that would only begin after voting did. Well then, please allow me to elaborate further on my Jesse Custer submission!

Believe me, I’m aware that not a lot of people have watched this show (probably even fewer have read the comics; even I haven’t). But I’m also aware that a lot of people should. The titular Preacher, our aforementioned plural king(s), takes the form of Dominic Cooper with a clerical collar, collar tips, and magic Dom powers. Trust me, he’s hot. Even if you’re not attracted to men, I’m fairly confident declaring that you’d still be attracted to Dominic Cooper as a cowboy-goth priest with collar tips and magic Dom powers.

Your Honor, look AT him.

Have I mentioned that the plot of this show is Jesse’s road trip quest to find God and hold him accountable for his many atrocities? Because that’s a mission that objectively has extreme swag. And as if Jesse doesn’t have enough swag on his own, he also has a badass girlfriend and a vampire boyfriend who also have copious swag themselves.

But enough about Jesse’s swag. Let’s talk about his plurality (since I’m the only person I know who does). As per my official submission, your honor, during one key episode of this series, a curious thing happens. Jesse, imprisoned in the same torture device that he was made to endure as a child, suddenly retreats into what is unmistakeable an inner world. There he talks to an unnamed man referred to only as “the Missouri Cowboy,” who is clearly an introject of Jesse’s idol, John Wayne (and I KNOW we all love to see some introject love and recognition around here, right?) The cowboy tells Jesse how to escape his torture coffin, which is something Jess himself was unable to do by himself. (Furthermore, after escaping, Jesse goes on to kill the members of his family who held him captive and traumatized him as a child. As I said, swag.) Sadly we never see or hear about the Missouri Cowboy again (at least in the TV series), but his single appearance is more than enough. I rest my case.

If he makes it into the bracket and only gets one vote, that vote will be me and I’ll be proud to do it. If he gets 2 votes, it may well be because I convinced the only other headmate in our system who has a tumblr blog to vote for him as well. If Jesse only gets 3 votes, it will probably be because I bullied my partner (who cosplays him!) to vote for him too. Jesse Custer may not be a popular blorbo from a popular IP, but he is my babygirl and I will run the most insufferably annoying campaign for him because my heart is SO full of LOVE, your honor.

YOU (POSITIVE)

FELLOW VERTIGO STAN IN MY POLL!

Fun fact: the vaguely worded possession guideline in the rules is actually partially so I can't finagle John Constantine into the poll on a technicality or three. However one of my other Vertigo blorbos is trendy rn so I will also say: Dream of the Endless + whatever Daniel has going on? plural. you know already

also to be clear folks: an essay like this gives your blorbo way more of a chance to get in! let em loose. be annoying (affectionate) in my inbox

[beevean]

for the bingos ill give you some really basic ones, hector/rosaly for the ship and hector for the character one?

Thank you for the basic questions, and I mean it seriously lmao. Crack is fun but I'm always in a need to talk about my blorbos more seriously <3

Hectaly:

MY BELOVEDS 💖

they're just-- they're just so damn cute, and they love each other, and Rosaly likes Hector for the kind soul that he is and doesn't care about his past sins, and Hector finally knows what love actually is and had a chance to redeem himself, and she thanked him for being born, and they were living a peaceful domestic life up the hill, and, and

dfdsjkfhkjdshfkjfhdskj I am perfectly normal, thank you for asking :) *currently chewing on my desk*

(obligatory "isaac you're my babygirl but fuck you with a cactus")

Hector:

The one and only. The boy of my whole heart <3 I love him your honor I love his character arc I love how he started out as one of Dracula's weapons but then gained agency, that's the thing he started out as selfish and self serving but it's treated as a good thing, until he became a full hero in his own right, and his darker side was enough that he got nearly corrupted by the Curse (a first in the series where the hero got corrupted along with the rival, because Hector and Isaac are interwoven foils) but also with enough strength to break form it, and also he's a huge gigachad and he's so OP and I love him and I wish I were Rosaly <3 I will always die on the hill that he's so much more than Generic Asshole on a Revenge Quest

[wajjs]

Gimme all four corpsmen

Hal:

Sexuality Headcanon: He's pansexual AND panromantic. Who has the time to care about gender when you have alien love at your disposal? Hell they don't even have to be completely anthropomorphic. If they're down, he's down, you know?

Gender Headcanon: Genderfluid/non-binary but he does not think too much about it, he thinks everyone's Like That and assumes he's normal. He keeps his he/him pronouns for this reason, and even after learning the truth he'd stick to those pronouns because it's easier

A ship I have with said character: Hal/any and all of the other 3 corpsmen, Hal/Sinestro, Hal/Oliver/Dinah, Hal/his own hand, Hal/his ring, etc etc etc

A BROTP I have with said character: Hal and Barry give me HUGE brotp vibes, though I can see why people like them when they're romantically involved. Also Hal and Clark have a huge potential to be an interesting brotp but I'd leave it at that

A NOTP I have with said character: Bruce/Hal. 100%. Those two are barely coworkers and Hal can do much better than Bruce. Please. He has standards.

A random headcanon: He absolutely hates humid days. It makes every injury that healed up wrong hurt.

General Opinion over said character: He's my baby girl. He's a war criminal. He's stupid. He's smart. He's confident and he's depressed. He's a grown ass man. He's a sad pathetic poor little meow meow. He's MY blorbo. Only I can understand him

John:

Sexuality Headcanon: Even though I often ship him with the other corpsmen, I do truly think he's the straightest one out of everyone else. But he's still queer

Gender Headcanon: cis, 100%

A ship I have with said character: John and any/all of the other corpsmen, John/Katma....

A BROTP I have with said character: tbh his relationship with Hal, Guy and Kyle is like THE definition of perfect brotp.

A NOTP I have with said character: John/Carol. That woman fridged HIS WIFE

A random headcanon: After a Certain Event, he can't stand to be around dogs again. Makes him queasy

General Opinion over said character: Love him. I do get a bit tired of the stale takes his fans always have about him, they always make him so bland and boring while trying to make him absolutely perfect with no flaws. He's unhinged, your honor. In a way that matters

Guy:

Sexuality Headcanon: this man can fit so much internalized homophobia while also being so loud and proudly queer, you won't believe

Gender Headcanon: I often think of him as cis but he has HUGE trans-masc energy. He's a passing trans man.

A ship I have with said character: My favorite one is GuyHal, hands down, followed closely by GuyKyle and GuyJohn

A BROTP I have with said character: Same ships as above. They can be BOTH

A NOTP I have with said character: Guy/Bruce. I just really think no lantern deserves to be paired with Bruce. They have better taste than that. We as fandom can do better than that

A random headcanon: He does really like the Rocky movies and he can and WILL cry over Rocky II

General Opinion over said character: I love him. He's my meow meow, but a different flavor of meow meow. He's so special. Love that he's the type of character that will do anything for his friends and those he cares about. Love how he's so fucking loyal.

Kyle:

Sexuality Headcanon: He's bisexual. It makes him too dangerous. But he's bisexual.

Gender Headcanon: cis but he can be babygirlified

A ship I have with said character: my favorite one is HalKyle, DUH, but I also love love him lots with Connor and/or Wally.

A BROTP I have with said character: GuyKyle always give me more of a sense of brotp but honestly like I said before, the 4 corpsmen can be both romantic ships and brotps. They have the range

A NOTP I have with said character: Kyle/Jason. It's just that no lantern should date any kind of bat. Yeah.

A random headcanon: he accepts commissions and draws risqué/pin ups of his fellow corpsmen. He has all the good references to make his art very life like.

General Opinion over said character: BABYGIRL. STUPIT. I love him. He's so fucking charismatic even though his mask is the ugliest thing ever. I miss him. I want him back............