#i love fucked up family dynamics and this man created the equivalent of a nuclear waste zone

[lloydfrontera]

part of me is viciously glad that rakiel is awkward and standoffish with asterion. it's honestly the bare minimum that the man deserves after neglecting his child for twenty years. it sucks that only now that rakiel is proving himself does asterion realize how shitty it was of him to push his kids over and over again so they would get stronger. that only now that he faces the risk of losing his son in dangerous situations rather than waiting for him to die from illness does he realize how much it would hurt to lose him and how he'd rather prefer rakiel would just be safe than be a hero.

it's so satisfying to see him realize it's his own fault that his son is uncomfortable and distant in their relationship and that he doesn't have any right to expect anything else from him (even if he doesn't know rakiel isn't doing it to punish him and is dealing with his own issues).

but it's also very sad to realize that if he had shown even a fraction of that concern and care to og!rakiel, his son would've forgiven him immediately. he would've almost certainly let go of all the years he spent being neglected and ignored and been delighted to get the parental approval he spent his entire life seeking.

so i can't fucking wait for asterion to know that this rakiel isn't the son he needs to apologize to. that the one he hurt and pushed and neglected all those years is completely out of his reach. that for all his care and love and concern it is way too late now and that he'll never get the chance to make up for all the damage he did. that by the time he realized how wrong he'd been and decided to change his son was already long gone.

that he lost his son and none of the hurt he put him through was worth it