#i love epic teh musical oh my god

[pencilgutz]

listening to the new epic saga

[carnymassacre]

🌻

i wnana talk about some of my favorite touhou moments i really love pcb stage 4 how you start in the dark and as the music crescendos you rise higher in the sky and above the clouds and suddenly stops once you reach the gate to the netherworld its so so good adn the chase in imperishable night stage 4 is so AWESOME and wily beast and weakest creature has 2 momments i really fucking like in stage 5 the boss music starts exactly as it’s revealed the player is being possessed by teh animal spirit so the theme is more for you than it is for mayumi and thats really fucking cool i also love love looooove keiki’s fight i think it might be the only touhou boss that the player has actually tried to Run from and the background change shows that she’s forcing you out of the primate garden its so cool. i also really like in hsifs durign okina’s fight the background changes to scenery of the season she attacks you with and in subterranean animism extra stage i. this is so specific but i fuckign love the part right when you kill sanae and the music reaches its highest point and then you have to kill a bunch of fairies going really quickly in a circle it feels really good and i think it is epic and i love how in lolk stage 5 is really chaotic and loud and then stage 6 is just quiet with barely any enemies to kill its a really good contrast also i do not even have to mention ufo stage 6 the entirety of ufo stage 6 is the crowning jewel of touhou for me like oh my god also i really really really really really love double dealing character stage 5 the music goes REALLY good with the rotating backgorund its so cool also once i killed seija just as she flipped the screen upside down so the screen flipped twice as i finished the fight and it was cool

[someoneandnoone-blog-blog]

Here is another book review, because unlike my coworkers I listen to audiobooks and podcasts instead of music while baking. I’m the weirdo in the store and I full admit that.

The Last True Poets of the Sea is written by Julia Drake and Narrated by Tania Gilbert.

Let me just make one thing extremely clear before I get into the nitty gritty. This is a very negative review, and I don’t care if you don’t read this review, becasue it’s super negative. The book has a four star rating on the app I am using and I think that is extremely generous. When I was reading the synopsis for the books (which yes I almost always do when picking my next book) I didn’t think this book would be anything like this. I was expecting something more fluffy and fun with a good life lesson its marketed as young adult which I typically prefer over romantic books marketed toward adults, sue me. And while there are good (I guess if you are going through something similar) life lessons, this book was completely different that I originally would have anticipated and let me be clear: I would have not picked up the book if the synopsis would have said ‘teenage angst ahead’ ‘sucide attempt with an eating disorder’ ‘panic attacks and melt downs every couple of chapters’ instead ‘epic, funny and sweepingly romantic’, becasue in my opinion, it wasn’t.

I would like to be crystal clear when I say I don’t believe we should romantize scenes of 12 year-olds getting drunk having their first kiss with people much older than them (I can’t remember the age of the person she makes out with, but it was enough to make me uncomfortable), whether that person is in high school or not. Let me be clear, YOUNG TEENAGE GIRLS GET SEXUALIZED ENOUGH EVEN WITHOUT IT BEFORE NORMALIZED IN MEDIA MARKETED TOWARD US. LETS NOT HAVE SCENES WHERE FULL ASS GROWN ADULT MEN TALK ABOUT HOW GROWN UP A 12 YEAR OLD FEMALE IS NO MATTER THE SITUATION. NO. SOME MEN MIGHT BE LIKE THAT, BUT THAT IS DISGUSTING AND IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MADE CLEAR THAT IT IS DISGUSTING AND UNCONFORTABLE WHEN THAT LANGUAGE IS USED AND IF IT MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE YOU SHOULD TELL SOMEONE BECASUE ITS NOT OKAY. SHIOULDN’T BE NORMALIZED AND A PART OF GROWING UP FEMALE’ BECAUSE ITS DISGUSTING AND THE FACT THAT SHE DIDN’T THINK TO TELL ANYONE MAKES ME ANGRY. NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCE.

And while I understand that this is coming from the perspective of the young female and that is the experince of many, the fact that it was glossed over so smoothly and the fact that it never got any negative connotations really makes me angry. I understand that its in a flashback scene, but put in something that clear states that, that behavior is not okay and how the character actually feels. When that kind of language was being talked about me at 12 I knew what they meant and it was uncomfortable. and maybe that’s not every experince, but that was mine and I don’t like being reminded of that in a book marketed as ‘epic, funny and sweepingly romantic’

We should not call a book romantic when when the teenage protagonist has more sexual experience/party experience/drug experience/alcohol experience than 50% of my adult age friend group. As a previous teenage girl, those kinds of topic being marketed as the normal, as the ‘typical high school experince’ it is detrimental to mental health and honestly adds societal pressure to go out and do those things, even if it makes us uncomfortable. ‘But I read it in such-and-such book and its marketed as romantic’ not its not. Its the sexualization of teenage girls perpetuated in our mass media. As a 25 year old adult and I would not have picked up with this book, read it, and turned around I would not give it to my teenage coworkers knowing that half of them have admitted to being sexually assaulted while at parties they didn’t want to go to but were pressured into/attempted suicide in the past because their brains feel like they’re on fire from the pressure and been told its the normal and we have to deal with it becasue of books like this.

THE MAIN CHARACTER CLEARLY STATING ‘I KNEW ONE OF US WAS GOING TO ATTEMPT SUICIDE I JUST DIDN’T KNOW WHICH ONE’ that is a paraphrase from a letter she was writing (but didn’t send thank god) from the main character to her brother whose was in treatment for a suicide attempt. WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT THAT IS EPIC, FUNNY OR ROMANTIC?!? SHE WROTE THAT TO HER BROTHER WHO WAS IN TREATMENT FOR A SUICIDE ATTEMPT. THAT’S FUCKED.

This might be the normal for young girls, yes I know the statists BUT IT SHOULDN’T BE. THOSE SCENES SHOULD NOT BE GLOSSED OVER by calling this book romantic, becasue in my opinion it romanticized and glossed over some of these major issues. I get it. I was young, sexualized by peers older than me, and suicidal once, but how about no? How about we don’t gloss over those topics and call them out for the bullshit they really are. Make it clear that those situations should not happen and there is better in this world.

The one thing I will say about that 12 year old kissing scene is that as soon as the older guy realized how young she was, he left without saying another word. But it was clear that, that experience was her first of many that young. We should also not normalize a 16 year old going to a bar with a fake ID with an adult that has sexual intentions with them. As soon as the chapter “Fun’s Night Out” happened I was so done with the book and again I’m glad it had the ending it did where she was able to get away from him thanks to the help of the bartender. I’m sorry, I’m old and that stuff makes me uncomfortable and extremely angry.

This book gave me the same feeling I got when I realized I agreed that Ariel should not marry Erik becasue she is a 16 year old child. At some point during part 1 of the book it dawned on me that the main character was a sixteen year old girl. Honestly, I would have been a lot happier and I would have some, but not as many qualms with the book if it weren’t for the fact. Honestly age her up even to college level and I’m not as angry. Seriously, authors need to stop making these topic about teenagers. Now, I understand that this book is marketed for teens, but honestly the sexualization that went on in the book of this young girl living in New York just turned me off almost immediately. I understand the statistics with that kind of thing, but that just wasn’t my life experience and I hope to live in a future where thats not a statistic my child or their children have to deal with. I couldn’t related to the main character becasue of it and I kind of hated her through the entire book not becasue of those glossed over experiences. Honestly, it probably has a lot to do with the fact that you don’t realize those things are bad until you find yourself in therapy or talk to your friends much later in life and go ‘oh, that’s what’s wrong with those situations.’ I can’t blame the main character, but I can blame the author.

With that said around the time I realized I was old I also realized the only reason I got through part 1 and 2 was strictly because of the narrator. There was almost no vocal difference between her other female characters, but the consistancy she kept with Violet’s voice and the fact that this book is written in first person and calls for that kind of acting really drove home. I loved how she acted out the panic attacks, it honestly sometimes felt like I was about to have one. But again, would not have read the book if it came with warnings of any kind. Every single scene I liked it was strictly becasue of Gilbert. I would have set down the book and not picked it back up if I was actually reading it.

With that being said, things I genuinely enjoyed about the book. There was no major coming out scene. I enjoyed that a lesbian relationship was written and done as naturally and as smoothly a heterosexual couple. Honesly before I realized this was about a sixteen year old and that everyone was in high school I loved how naturally I could ship the lesbian relationship without anyone coming right out and saying their sexual orientation. That was very well done and it was kinda well done in the broadway flash back scene when she realized how long she had been gay. I have had plenty of those moments in my life that I look back at and I’m like “oh that happened becasue I like girls too’, but again that scene made me really uncomfortable for other reasons.

How the brother’s suicide/eating disorder/psychotic episodes was written really annoyed me. Again, I understand that this book was written in first person and that’s how the character feels, but how about no? I guess in the author’s world teenage girls are full of themselves and can’t see othe people’s struggles? That seems ageist and overdone to me. Teeange girls aren’t one dementional. However, that’s how they characterized the character and I’m not going to knock the writer for sticking true to their character (no matter how much I insist teenage girls are more that that). However, there were moments that I wish the book would switch prospective and give a neutral point of view so all the facts could be laid out on the table. I find it so hard to listen to someone complain about their brother (whom I also didn’t realize was younger than the main character in teh book until very late in the book), with no real insight (that I remember again i listen to these books while at work I probably miss 15% of the book) as to why he did it. It almost dehumanized that character for me in a way. But again, that is coming from someone that at one point in their life really wished they weren’t here anymore and honestly if I would have picked up this book while going through that period I would have taken the main character’s perception as the perception of the people trying to help me and it wouldn’t have gone good. Strictly a personal opinion again.

The entire synopsis is about finding the Lyric, the sunken ship her grandmother survived being on. And honesty, it was wrapped up kind of nicely, but not in a way that had much forethought in my opinion. My main oven at work broke while I was listening to the main climax of the book, so in all honesty I don’t know how the got their final piece of evidence to figure out who S is. That work drama and me dealing with that during the end of the book is probably why I didn’t feel like the book wrapped up well. So, I’m not going to comment on the ending much more because honestly, I didn’t like the book enough to sit and listen to the final three chapters again and give an honest opinion about them. I did get the feeling that her brother was magically cured from his depression, but I could be wrong...

Overal: I am an full fledged adult that agrees that Disney Princesses cannot marry the man they just met and I don’t have the will power to listen to a book filled with teenage angst and compromising morals from adults. This is why I wish the app I used had a section for New Adult instead of just the normal classifications of Young Adult and Fantasy, becasue teenage angst isn’t my thing and I can’t listen to books with smut in them while at work. Next book on the list is a book on astrology, becasue my coworker is insterested, and when I showed her my birthchart she said, ‘makes senes’ and now I’m concerned. Then its ‘Call Me Maybe’ by Cara Bastone. Wish me luck that the next book goes over better.

[theskyexists]

empress ki

are these koreans gonna go as far as to let this man fall for who he thinks is just some young cool guy?

i mean - they’re not chinese so

this is kinda silly lol. if she really wanted to be let go she could have just punched him. i guess that would have gone too far

this RANDOM assassin almost kills them - he disappears. we good. no worries.

where are her own men????

NOOOOO don’t ruin it

why the fuck would she have developed a feminine slap? i think theyre gonna ruin it. like contact with a male love interest will just forcibly feminise you

ok no she came up with an excuse

god - an openhanded slap from another man lol i can see how that might be quite offensive

she just chills in the crown prince’s bath no prob lol. ok so she locked the door

she just let herself get fuckin shot for this lol

this episode moves super fast but thats fun but i still don’t know how the king and the crown prince are related. the whole hostage thing really messed things up

i just realised that i love the bro/bro mlm stuff if its actually m/f. LOL.and I KNOW it’s going to only last one fuckin episode bc we’re gonna go right back to misgyny and chattel slavery especially for women but yknow

does she remember him?? did she send the bandana? i dont know on which side she really is.

yeah ofc shes the bandana guy. i mean - DUH.

WHY RISK YOUR OWN MEN - WHAT WAS THE PLAN

is this spy gonna get her bandana now???

or are these not her own guys?? THEY ARE

is she playing the king?? like - im still trustworthy though!!!! (or at least my men are) but how could she think to rely on the crown prince???

oh no the cool big sword moustache guy!!! why would he be the spy for the king????????????? what is there to gain??????? HE’S NOT THANK GOD

YES!!!! I LOVE THEM. ‘hit me’ BAM *violently and romantically perches over him to almost stab him*

aww haha the king is attached to seung nyang. too bad you’re an evil bastard she wants to destroy

i can’t quite tell why revealing the salt location drop off point is important or not. i guess it was just and only a test.

was that the guy in blue who volunteered to be shot at? : ‘( ah it’s not.its just some nobody. I guess she couldn’t have known who knew of her blue bandana so she had to hide it. But couldn’t she have told this guy from the very beginning when they were alone?

did the official guard not get told that more people were coming???? LOL. that’s one fuckin mess

HEROIC HORSERIDING YEAAAAAAAA did she not think of a reason for being alive? ‘kill me’ OH MY GOD hahahahaa. smart but so risky (it turns out that the crown prince is the crown prince but the king is the brother of his dad’s)

is there something you want? I THOUGHT YOU WANTED MONEY oh my god this guy is gambling it all lol. oh no, he’s gonna make it too.

it’s always the ‘unrightful’ people that get villainised for wanting power

what the fuck her dad’s gonna kill all her friends and make her into a sex slave? jezus christ how dark (i read a synopsis that she gets sent to yuan after all somehow). on who’s fucking authority? couldn’t they have gotten at the very least a letter from the goddamn ‘auditor’ to protect them

oh my god. just wear your fucking ring on the outside of your goddamn clothes. that was so FUCKING close

wow that was a pretty realistic breakdown

GO SEE HIM HELLO!!!!

she became a fucking COP TO SEE HIM HOLY SHIT LOL

JUST SHOW HIM THE FUCKING RING

did she just leave her band of boys behind???

dude why is this series romance blocking me what the fuck

gotta show that Yuan is backward through furs and beads!!

i do love that this series had the guts to start off with heartbreak. but also to let the female protagonist be a big bi....amorous...?

this show somehow made me feel sympathetic towards a stinkin imperial rich kid. he didn’t ask to be born into a family that would become his death

‘young boy’ *is literally at least 40*

the KING has only 10 men to spare? really?

he’s gonna let his servant get fucking murdered in his stead? yikes. ok so that wasn’t his PLAN no. poor servant guy

so they got her a MATCH - a dirven and smart and powerful king. and a soft and unexperienced and endangered future emperor.

this is so much my fucking THING it’s insane. i don’t even mind that the king is kinda ...average looking.

and she kicks his ASS LOL. and he falls ultimately deeply in love with her. this is incredible.

i wonder if she’s going to hold the death of his servant against him

they didn’t even take his head? stupid. oh i guess that’s for the traitors.

SHE STILL DOESN’T GET ITS REALLY HIM. I THOUGHT SHE WAS SMART

really - she lets the fucking chief get the credit. are you fucking kidding me? fuck this. be smarter! hate having to say that to a character. Be! smarter!

now he gets to be WHY HIDE FROM YOUR BOYFRIEND WHAT THE FUCK. if this is gonna be the whole fuckign show i can’t take it.

im gonna need to know if she keeps fucking hiding. stop hiding! STOP. stop hiding from the important men in your life! what the FUCK. stop hiding from your dad. Stop HIDING FROM YOUR FUCKING BESTO BOYFRIEND

the prince isn’t even upset about his servant’s demise

fucking finally somebody found out seung nyang was the ONE

I love Strong King - I love vulnerable future Emperor

he’s just a stupid indoctrinated kid! somebody should explain to him all the horrors that have been done to people in his name!

we have a sequence in which she’s done great deeds, gets called in, is concerned about how she slapped the important person around lol

we’re gonna get teh exact same for Togon one day

jezus christ that’s a very romantic thing to say to a cool and heroic young guy who saved your skin twice, king. are you - i n l o v e? a lil bromance perhaps?

awww he’s so damn happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

she’s like - fuck. wish she stayed a little more ruffian though. wheres the fucking swagger!

how am i so into this m/m ship. LOL. im really into this stronk man and rogueish ‘boy’ bonding through hardship crisis crossing all rank

im up for her teaching the prince compassion and horror and the way of the world though

I KNOW this is soon going to devolve into a palace drama though so that fucking sucks

why is the emperor a young guy and the brother an old guy. was the emperor the preferred son? from the preferred wife?

has she never heard a guy pee??? i thought she lived with soldiers and shit

why the fuck is she carrying his excrement to the sea when she’s his BODYGUARD. this went differently than i thought

he literally is alone. there is no shift of the guard with him. hello?

what the fuck is this lax bodyguard shit. you need at LEAST two so one can sleep while the other guards.

everytime she bathes im like - ALARM ALARM

this jimbo traitor is so stupid lol

commander - just approach this stupid idiot. be the dad you want to be.

you could just become his son!!! hello????

so you really care about the peoplle huhg? thats why you keep selling off women?

oh my god. is the prince also falling in love with this ‘boy’? who embodies the masculine ideal? GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH im gonna cry when this is over and she ends up a fucking maid

this romantic fucking epic music as they struggle in a petty fucking competition in teh surf jlsjLKFJSDLJ:FLDSF I LOVE THIS

SHE VIOLENTLY PERCHES ABOVE THIS GUY TOO. ROMANTIC MUSIC

the koreans KNOW what is good. THEY KNOW.

oh this poor guy. please let this guy meet poor people. like. idk. the stolen women made into slaves and shit

yeah yeah they bond without him knowing about losing a parent and wanting revenge

the king is like, MY BOY!! that’s MY boy!! hands off!!!! that’s my dearest bromance boy friend!!!!

oh no - shes going to have to choose who to ride with lol

oh nooooooooo Seung Nyang don’t hurt King boyfriend !

‘he will not take Seung Nyang, will he?’  i had to double take there

I FINALLY understand the appeal of all unassailable men in romance. god, my brain is weird.

give seung nyang to me. dsjfpawejfeawjfljsdkljldsjflkdfsa dude. no. i know this is a love triangle but it is just within good if they do THIS moment right

the prince is a horrible shit

nooooo seung nyang please don’t hurt the king!!! he loves you!!!!

‘why am i burning up inside?’ YOU LOVE HIM!! YOU LOVE SEUNG NYANG!!! you love this guy!!! the koreans are daring lil mfs

where is the ruffian guy with the moustache and big sword?? he was the king’s left hand man when he wasn’t king yet.

the actress has really feminised Seung Nyangs mannerisms and way of movement past few eps (oh it’s a dream)

oh my god they’re no-homo-ing this through a dream. he just FEELS like Seung Nyang is a woman!!! that’s why he’s attracted!!! lol

seung nyang loses her dad. prince doesn’t notice. jezus

he impressed some dudewith his self-righteous dragon heaven propaganda. goddddd. the prince truly does not care how many people have already died for him. WHEN will he become likeable instead of hilariously piteous

just absolutely devastating end scene. shitty k-pop outtro.o hgod

will the prince finally - through seung nyang realise that actaully it fucking sucks that people keep being horribly harmed and killed for his sake?

JEZUS CHRIST I AM ON EPISODE 5 wHAT THE FUCK THIS IS LIKE 60 episodes long. oh my god no.

the thing i like about this show is that she looks believably like a very feminine boy for korean standards.

they keep playing him as childish, selfish and incompetent. but like, soooo many people DIED FOR HIM

hwo didn’t they kill bayan for obviously killing their own guard lol

finally she confronts him with the regular people!!!

what is lord jang doing with them

wow the commander’s beard is long. they been going for a while

well he is suffering - but can’t she get to him through words. make him a better person?

he is asking an important question. ANSWER IT GODDAMNIT

thsi ‘warming’ is so ridiculous haahahaha

*has full view of covered breasts* ‘he is definitely a boy!!!!’

i don’t know what sexuality politics this is - probably very bad ones - if you’re a straight man then you’re attracted to some fundamental femaleness in women!! or something

why is a bite mark evidence

god - these powerful people have enormous egos. they must, it is bred in them.i deserve power and when it is taken from me it sucks so much i can’t breathe!!! well uh yeah - everybody feels that way you ain’t special

she looks so sick

feels empathy for the first time ever. what a wonderful fantasy. that somebody could teach a prince empathy

*goes into town completely uncovered in royal robes which haven’t been weathered at all* ok

‘why did you hide you are a woman?’ what COMPLETE AND UTTER MALE NONSENSE

WOMEN ARE GETTING DRAGGED OFF TO BE SEX SLAVES AND YOU ASK THAT??? ‘sure, im sure you had your reasons’

WHAT FUCKING IDIOT

53:50

so she gets him in and then he betrays her? lol. but does it really matter? the king won’t be tried, there’s no reason for goryeo to be annexed. seung nyang won’t die. etc. he might as well go back to his deadly golden cage without endangering himself.

is it for her dad that she asks this of him? he faints, eh that’s a fine way out.

cant she hug a king back when he hugs her????? come ON

he almost killed his fucking son. these people are so CRAAAYYYZY

*leaves the people most likely to turn on him behind with the prince*

why does he have to reveal this?? what are the stakes here??”

goryeo’s soldiers???????????? what the fuck. i thought he was gonna come up with something clever like - pirates or something. not just ‘oh it was a random weirdo band of soldiers’ no -  ‘under the orders of the king’

WHAT. hes throwing teh whole country to the wolves. if seung nyang doesn’t kill him ill be surprised. seung nyang better get him for this for a thousand fucking years.

so he’s even personally betraying seung nyang. for a tiny chance at power. damn. wow. damn wow.

jezus what a fucking way to leave your daughter! making your last exchange putting yourself down as a father. DUDE. could have ended shit in a better way!

anyway literally cried twice about her losing her dad already

anyway so they both die in her arms. great.

yeaaaaaaah swearing to kill him. good. too bad it’s gonna be like 50 eps of palace maid shit and the prince barely got a taste of poverty

really wonder how traumatising this whole - is revealed as a woman and transferred to the empire as a sex slave thing is going to be - for me i mean

‘he’s probably living well in his homeland’  - how could you trust that your orders will be followed???

this is completely unrealistic wow

doesnt she get a fucking horse

who the fuck was park bhu - the undercop?

oh apparently laughing ugly is an indication of evil for a woman. laughing maniacally is an indication of evil for a man

her archnemesis is gonna unmask her as a woman in public? i think i might have to quit this show at this exact moment.

aaand.....guess ill have to quit.

ok that wasn’t so bad

how did they have women’s silks and makeup with them

she’s literally a martial artist warrior and she can’t fight a rapist attacker with her hands free?

oh god. she’s gonna be all feminine now bc she looks like a girl. oh god. i feel kinda sick.

SHE SUDDENLY DOESN’T HAVE ANY BANGS ANYMORE BUT LONG HAIR

THAT COMB WAS MAGICAL

some classic ‘female body weak’ sexism. love getting that from the beau

i know they’re trying to make danashiri seem unsympathetic but she’s saying fuck you to sexism here. then again it’s because she’s a spoiled elite brat

they really are made for each other

holy shit. this series just goes on and on and on and on and on. i can’t do this.