#i love cam how many more times do you think i can say that in one post

[won4youu]

Kiss Cam.

pairing: bsf!jake x downbad!reader

genres: fluff, suggestive?, idiots to lovers(sorta)

wc: 5.7k

warning: well there's a kiss cam involved so they kiss 🤭, use of cuss words, also idk anything about American football so I'm sorry if there's anything wrong about it lolol

a/n: this has been collecting dust in our drafts for wayyy too long lol soooo if you like it please reblog and consider following!

written by both @raven-naaaaa and @theaspen

You know that feeling when you look at your best friend and your heart skips a beat, and their smile makes you smile and the entire world seems to fade into the background and it feels like it's just you and him in the room?

Yeah, apparently not everyone felt that way about their best friend. But..you did.

Jake Sim made you so goddamn happy.

Whenever his eyes searched for yours in every crowded room, and the instant smile that accompanied his starry eyes when he recognized your face, your heart did a little tap dance.Either you were projecting your thoughts onto him or just maybe, he liked you too.

But here's the thing, you don't think “like” would do justice to the feelings you harboured for the boy, and using the big L word made your insides cringe.

You've never been in love before. Crushes? Sure, you've had those. But these huge feelings? Those selfish instincts that came over whenever his smile was shared with everyone else as well? Was that normal? You didn't want to know.

"Hi __," his voice is warm and familiar. His arms wrap around your waist as he pulls you into one of those hugs you've come to love.

"Hi Jake,” You greet him back. Internally scoffing at yourself. Because practically anyone could hear the giddy smile that accompanied your voice.

Jake pulls you even closer, if that was even possible. Smiling into your shoulder as well. It's been a few seconds, but his hands still linger on your waist and when he pulls back you can still feel his touch.

Jake's touch is gone, but your heart still feels that stupid annoying rush. You ignore it completely, because honestly? The intensity of your feelings scare you, and the way Jake throws you the yearning glances scare you even more. In fear that you're probably just being delusional all by yourself.

"You look good," he tells you as he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

You don't try to fight his touch. If anything you lean into it.

Jake seems to have noticed that- his thumb traces some invisible shape on your cheek, eyes so full of adoration.

"Thank you," you reply bashfully. Somehow you could never be nonchalant and cool to him like you are with others. And it pisses you off.

"Come on, let's get to our seats," he says, holding your hand and dragging you through the semi crowd and toward the seating area.

Coming to a football game would definitely not be your first choice, but here you were, with Jake because Heeseung “dropped out” at the last minute and he needed some company.

Okay, here's the deal. You didn't know much about football, but you just came along because well, you're a fool in love.

You didn't mind it honestly, because if watching some dude run around the field with a ball made Jake happy, you'd sit through it for however many times he wanted.

So there you were sitting mindlessly nipping at your sandwich.

“___, the first quarter is done,” Jake grins as he sits down beside you.

“How many more of these do I have to sit through Sim,” you fake whine as Jake laughs beside you.

“You do realise you didn't have to come along with me right?” He chuckles, throwing an arm across your shoulder.

“And leave you here all by yourself to look like a loser with no friends?” You scoff, giving him a smug look, “I'm practically saving your reputation here Sim. A thanks and a lifetime supply of chocolate muffins would do.”

Jake simply rolls his eyes at your faux uppity look.

You shift in your chair as you look around the field, “What do people even do in these breaks?” you ask.

Jake points towards the huge screen that was displaying the results a minute ago.

“See that,” you hum mindlessly, “that is a kiss cam. So during the breaks, people usually just look at other people snogging each other.” You snort at his words and look at the screen. As if on cue, the camera points towards a young couple. The couple share a flustered look before pecking each other and the entire stadium erupts into cheers, and you couldn't help the smile on your face.

“That's so cute…but also lowkey weird, what if it points towards siblings? Or like friends? Wouldn't that put them in an awkward position?” Your question is genuine, but Jake only hangs on to one thing you said.

“Friends?”, he parrots, as his cheeks flush pink, “like us..?” His voice is low, but you catch onto it. Your face heats up at the thought of kissing him. You lock eyes with the boy. There was something so magnetic about his eyes.

You let out an awkward chuckle, “I mean, we don't have to worry about that, no?” You force out a laugh, fiddling with your fingers. “It's not like the camera is gonna point at us.”

“___,” Jake whispers, “you might want to look at the screen.”

Well, fuck.

The camera was pointing towards a very familiar young couple, well at least they looked like a couple on screen. You swore to God your heart was going to jump out of your rib cage. You turn away from Jake, avoiding the camera and Jake laughs awkwardly, crossing his arms to sign ‘no’, which had the audience booing at the two of you.

Thankfully, the camera quickly pans towards another couple, who seem more than happy to kiss each other.

Jake breathes a sigh of relief which you don't miss. Your chest heaves a tiny tiny little bit in disappointment.

Luck definitely wasn't on your side today because soon after, the camera panned towards you and Jake. Again.

Jake laughs as he signs ‘no’, earning more boos from the crowd. You looked up at the screen and noticed that the camera was still on the two of you.

You don't really know what got into you, maybe it was the consistent booing by the crowd that finally tipped you over, because one second you were looking at Jake on the screen and the other your hands were on his face as he looked up at you with wide eyes.

“Sim, I'm going to kiss you,” you rush as you pull him towards you, “If you don't want this tell me now.” He doesn't really remember much of what he said. All Jake remembers is the feeling of his lips on yours.

He could have sworn he heard fireworks when you pulled him closer and crashed your lips against his. Your lips were soft against his and there was a sense of longing in them. God, you drove him mad.

He lets out a groan as his hands find company at your waist, pressing and feeling your skin. He couldn't believe this was happening.

You couldn't believe it either. The moment his lips were on yours, it felt like it was just the two of you in the stadium, but unfortunately, the loud cheers of the audience brought you back to your senses as you heaved against his chest, him burying his head into your neck.

“Fuck, you have no idea how long I've waited for that,” he whispers against the shell of your ear, sending shivers down your back. “Yeah?” You look up at him with a flustered smile.

“Yeah.” He says, gulping. The rosy flush on his cheeks still present. The camera isn't pointing at you two anymore and the game has already resumed again. But the two of you can't help but continue to act like giddy idiots.

You're definitely gonna have to thank Heeseung for dipping out on Jake today.

[wqnwoos]

Your first and only semester as TA throws your previously unassuming college life into disarray, fuelled almost entirely by the brown-eyed and charming student who’s slipping closer to failing with every lecture. And in return for your mathematical assistance, Lee Chan decides he’s going to set you up with the guy you’ve been persistently pining over for a year and a half. It’s a simple equation: you teach him calculus, and he’ll teach you how to flirt. Except, as you’re both quick to discover, mathematical equations don’t translate over to real life as easily as you’d expect.

as part of the svt ta collab hosted by @camandemstudios !

⇢ pairing: lee chan x ta!reader

⇢ genre: fluff, idiots2lovers, minor angst?

⇢ wc: 10.2k (i’m just as surprised as u are)

⇢ a/n: so many people to thank (the whole collab server for all the sprinting!!) but especial thank u to cam (@/highvern) and em (@/gyuswhore) for hosting this collab. they put SO much work into this and i couldn’t be more grateful to be part of it, so thank you both for everything!!! and thank you to alta (@/haologram) for being my first official beta ever and managing to convince me to not trash the whole thing <3

“I NEED YOUR help.”

Those are probably the last four words you expect to come out of Lee Chan’s mouth. Because you’ve graded his assignments and you’ve seen his work and you’re pretty sure he’s doing above average in the calculus class you’re TA’ing this semester. 

So when he manages to corner you after one of the lectures to ask for some extra tutoring, you’re startled, to say the least. “You need my help?”

He nods, once. You cock your head to the side, and your surprise must show on your face, because he fishes a slightly crumpled looking paper out of his bag. You recognise it as the latest quiz, one that, fortunately, landed on the other TA’s marking pile. Scrawled at the very top, in Joshua’s unforgiving red pen, is a glaringly large ‘F - 27%’.

“It was only a pop quiz,” you say encouragingly, hiding your sympathetic wince. “Doesn’t count for anything.”

“I can’t afford to let my grades slip,” he counters quickly, like he’s prepared for this. “Which they are And I really don’t get this module. I just think some extra time could help, but I’m terrible at teaching myself.”

You look at him for a long moment. He can’t be more than a year or two younger than you, this boy with eager brown eyes and a hopeful smile; it’s almost charming, how he leans forward in anticipation of your reply, how worried he is about one small test. And — well. You’ve seen the grade sheets, and his grades are slipping. Not drastically, but this is your job, after all.

“Well,” you say finally, glancing at your watch. “Why don’t you come to the office hours tomorrow, and we’ll go over the quiz? And we can go from there.”

He smiles then, so sudden and bright you almost feel caught in it. “Perfect!” he agrees, as he takes his quiz back, shoving it haphazardly into his bag. “I’ll see you then. Oh, wait — my name’s Chan, by the way.”

You cast him an amused look as you zip up your own bag. “I know that.”

“Oh! Cool! Nice! That’s — yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow!” And as he backs away he stumbles over his own feet, catching himself before he topples over. He sends you a sheepish, flushed smile that makes you smile too. You’re always quick to smile at the students, and you send off the younger boy with a wave. Despite being a math major who loves her subject, you know just how much people despise it. Especially calculus.

“What’s got you thinking so hard?” A light voice interrupts your thoughts, and you jump, before turning to face Hong Joshua with a smile just as sheepish as Lee Chan’s was only moments ago.

“Nothing much,” you say, laughing awkwardly. Trying to look anywhere but at his honey brown eyes, you shuffle papers as you continue. “Just about how much people hate math.”

Joshua smiles that breathtaking smile, and your stomach quite literally does a flip. “Why? People bullying you for being smart again?”

You’d mentioned to him that you got made fun of in high school once for liking math. He refuses to let it go: you roll your eyes at him. “No. It was just a train of thought.”

“People who hate math are just not as cool as us,” he says, picking up his own folder, flashing you another smile.

(Us. Your stomach could be Simone Biles, with the amount of somersaults it’s landing today.)

“But anyway,” he continues, checking the time with a frown, “I gotta go. I’ll see you around, dude.”

Dude. There it is: just as quickly as you inflate, you deflate, watching him leave with a wrinkled brow. The problem with Hong Joshua is that he makes it incredibly easy to fall for him — and all the while, he’ll remain incredibly oblivious. You’re just another one of the sorry suckers who isn’t careful enough to nip it in the bud. But really, can you be blamed, when he looks like that? When he acts like that, all sweet and caring and let-me-hold-open-the-door-for-you?

You snap yourself out of your reverie with a sigh. Back to reality, as your mother always says — and your reality is the pile of algebra waiting for you back home.

“What I don’t understand,” Seungkwan says thoughtfully, pacing Chan’s room with his hands folded behind his back, “is why you’re putting on cologne to go to office hours.”

Chan hears the know-it-all tone under his roommate’s pretension, and he resents it. Running a final hand through his hair, and glancing himself over in the mirror one more time, he turns back to Seungkwan with a frustrated scoff. “Does it matter?”

“A problem shared is a problem halved,” Seungkwan wheedles, “In this case, it’d be a problem thirded. Three’d. You know what I mean - there’s three of us to share your problem. Right, Vernon?”

Vernon just blinks from his seat on Chan’s bed, slow and confused. “I don’t really know what we’re talking about. But sure.”

“Nothing,” Chan answers brutally, snatching up his bag. “We’re talking about nothing. Because I don’t have a problem, and Seungkwan’s just being nosy.”

“Look at him!” Seungkwan gesticulates loudly to Vernon, “look how dressed up he is. For class — for calculus! Nobody dresses up for calculus!”

“Ahhh,” Vernon nods slowly, drawing it out; and then he pauses, furrows his brows and asks mildly, “But isn’t that just because he has a crush on his TA?”

Chan hisses; Seungkwan triumphs. “I knew it!” he declares with glee, “I knew there was something! Who is she? Do you have a picture?”

“Nobody,” Chan grinds out, grabbing his backpack and jamming his feet into his worn-out shoes, casting Vernon a resentful look. “And I do not have a picture. But if I did, I wouldn’t show you. Goodbye.” And with that magnificent gesture, he shuts the door firmly behind him.

He’s not late to office hours. He never is. In fact, he’s three minutes early, but you’re already there, along with one or two other classmates he knows by sight but not by name. You’re leaning over one of their desks, talking rapidly as you gesture to the papers in front of them, lanyard swinging.

Chan doesn’t have a crush on you, contrary to what seems to be popular belief. Well. Not a big one. Like, a teensy tiny one, maybe. He thinks you’re pretty, and you’re smart, and you’re incredibly kind. But does he have a crush on you? No. Are his intentions here solely to get to know you better, in order to have a crush on you? Yes. In fact, that’s exactly what this is. Pursuing the butterflies in his stomach. Just out of interest, he reminds himself, as he pushes open the door and you turn around. Pure, innocent interest.

Within an hour of his entrance, you’ve explained every one of Chan’s mistakes — and there were a lot — in digestible detail. Twice as efficient and twice as digestible as Lee, the old, weak-voiced professor with an evidently wrong glasses prescription. He says as much to you, which has you laughing and shaking your head. (“Don’t,” you scold, even as you smile, “he’s so nice, though.”)

The professor is nice. Chan thinks you’re nicer.

He leaves office hours even brighter than he entered. Those butterflies are multiplying.

And, as it turns out in the very next week, when there’s yet another pop quiz — Chan is under the suspicion that Professor Lee doesn’t plan his lessons and just shoves last year’s quizzes at them instead —  he does actually need your help. His grades are getting worse. There’s always the other TA, Joshua, who Chan actually happens to know, but Chan thinks that his half-crush is worth following up on. At the very least, you could be a good friend.

Is pretending to need calculus tutoring in order to get to know a girl his finest moment? No. Because as much as he tries to justify this with his slipping grades, he knows perfectly well he could be doing excellently (well, averagely) if he put a little more effort in. But is that as appealing as the TA with the best laugh he’s ever heard? And so, somehow, with impressive persuasive skills he probably picked up from Jeonghan by accident, Chan manages to wheedle you into tutoring him, smiling as you hmm’ed and haa’ed and bit your lip nervously. 

“I’ve got a full list already,” you had said slowly, and he’d jumped in before you could go down the route of polite refusal.

“I know, I know, but seriously — I’ll be the best student you’ve ever had! I’m a good learner, I swear. I can study whenever you want.” 

Which is how he landed himself early morning sessions — and when you said early, you weren’t kidding. The times you’ve scheduled for him to start range between eight to ten, and he specifically didn’t book morning classes this semester because he loves his sleep. But still: his grades are slipping, and there’s a cute girl on the line, so he takes his success with warmth  — or perhaps it’s just the thought of spending more time with you, but whatever it is, he feels like he’s glowing, inside out. 

Your first tutoring session with Lee Chan goes surprisingly well. The moment he began halfway guilt tripping  you into tutoring him (“Imagine if my grades slip so far, I don’t get to graduate on time. Could you live with that?”), you knew he was something. And somehow, you still agreed to this, despite being loaded with all the shit a master’s student has on their plate, on top of TA’ing. Maybe you should work on saying no sometimes, but who are you kidding? You don’t have time to deal with your possibly self-destructive flaws, not when your to-do list is three miles long 

Despite your qualms, however, Chan turns out to be a great listener. He doesn’t act pissy when you tell him he’s doing something wrong, either, which is already better than half your students. 

“I probably seem really stupid,” he says with a quiet laugh, as he re-attempts a question from the last quiz.

“Not at all,” you say instantly. “Don’t tell Lee, but calculus is the worst, anyway.”

He lifts his head with curved lips — “Oh? From the words of the mathematical extraordinaire herself?” 

Immediately, you’re growing hot, shaking your head and laughing, looking away. “Oh, come on. Don’t call me that.”

Chan’s eyes don’t move from yours — it’s like you can physically feel the weight of his gaze, sometimes. You’ve never met someone with so much… presence. “Why not?” he asks. “Own it. Professor Lee says that about you all the time.”

“Okay, not me specifically,” you correct quickly, “he says that about Joshua too.”

Chan clicks his tongue dismissively. “Yeah, but Joshua’s a piece of shit anyway, so…”

Your surprise must be visible on your face, because when Chan looks back at you, he laughs out loud, louder than the other students in the library are happy with; they cast him dirty looks, but it’s like they bounce straight off him. He only lowers his voice a little, leaning closer. “Joshua and I are friends,” he explains, amused, “I’m not serious. But anyway, if you don’t even like calculus, what are you doing TA’ing it?”

You shrug. “I don’t know, just… Lee asked me to, so I was like, why not?”

“I can’t imagine anything worse,” Chan says bluntly, “than teaching a bunch of people how to integrate shit.”

A giggle slips out of you before you can prevent it; he makes you do that a lot. Laugh, without meaning to. “Well. That’s why I majored in Math. I don’t mind.” You hesitate. “What are you actually majoring in?”

His eyes do that thing again. Sparkle. He bites down on his lip, as if suppressing a smile. “Math.”

“What?” You can’t help it, you’re laughing again, louder this time and trying to stifle it. “You never said!”

“You never asked!” He mirrors your incredulous tone teasingly. 

“You just let me embarrass myself like that.”

“You didn’t do anything embarrassing.” 

You try to ignore his eyes on you again, picking up your pencil to doodle awkwardly in your notebook. “I thought you were like… on a sports program. Or in, like, accounting or something.”

Impossibly, his smile widens. “Those are two very different things.” 

The playful lilt to his tone does something to your stomach. “Have you finished your question yet?” You change the subject so sharply that he laughs again, sliding his notebook over to you.

You glance over it, blinking in surprise. “That’s perfect,” you say, pushing it back towards him. “Well done.”

That smile shifts into something more — well, if you didn’t know any better, you’d call it flirty. Lopsided and charming. “Yeah, well,” he says, packing up his stuff, “I‘ve got a great teacher.”

The tutoring sessions continue to pass much the same. Chan does his work, but keeps stopping to ask you all kinds of questions in between. Your favourite colour. Your favourite type of coffee. Your favourite movie, TV show, your hometown — somehow, his easy, open nature has you telling him all kinds of things, and more than that, you’re asking him all kinds of things in return.

“You know, I’m not like this with the rest of my tutoring roster,” you observe quietly, as you finish a story about your high school prom. “Like, at all.”

“Good!” he says, grinning at you. He’s wearing glasses today, you notice. He looks — nice. Cute. “That’d be like you’re cheating on me. I’m your favourite student.”

Slightly appalled, you nudge him. “Not true! I’ve never said that. I don’t play favourites.”

“I do,” he says just as swiftly. “I’m your favourite. I can tell.” He pats your hand. “It’s okay, you’re my favourite too.”

You pull your hand away, ignoring the swoop of your stomach. “Focus!”

“How am I supposed to focus when you’re right there?” 

“Easily,” you snap, “since you’re my favourite student.”

Chan positively beams when you say it, not even attempting to hide it as he returns to the problems in front of him. “As long as you can admit it.”

At the end of the session, Chan digs into his bag and slides a candy over to you, and you can’t help the smile that splits your face open. “No way,” you cry, picking it up, “I love these! How did you know?”

He smiles, not even glancing at the candy once, fixing his eyes on you. “You told me. Like, a week ago.”

You barely remember that Something swells up inside you, tight and hot and sweet. “Oh, wow. Thank you, Chan.” You hope he can hear how touched you are, because you can’t quite express it. 

“It’s nothing,” he says, with a small smile, one you can’t quite read. “We’re friends, right?”

“Yeah,” you say after the shortest of pauses. “Of course. We’re friends.”

He truly is something else. Almost your opposite, with his confidence and his openness and outright friendliness. You can’t quite put it into words, but something warm just pours out of him.

When you say as much to Minghao, your best friend, he laughs in your face. “Chan? Lee Chan?”

“He’s nice,” you protest lightly. Minghao somehow knows him, through Jeonghan or something or other. Briefly, you wonder how many people Chan knows — which really just proves your point. He’s annoyingly likeable, and even though you have to be forced to admit it, he is easily your favourite out of all the students you tutor. It’s barely even a competition; it’s not a competition. Your other students are fine, but they’re not quite Chan.

“Lee Chan is a little shit,” Minghao says with a hidden affection you’ve had to learn to detect. “But, yeah. He’s a good guy.” There’s a pause filled by the surrounding murmurs of people in the coffee shop you guys are in. It’s always overflowing with people, but it’s the only place that serves halfway decent herbal tea for Minghao, so the two of you always end up meeting here.

“How’s Joshua?” Minghao asks suddenly, doing the annoying thing where he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Still as sexy and gentlemanly as ever, is he?”

At the very mention of his name, you feel yourself growing hotter. “He’s fine,” you say shortly. “Busy.”

Your crush on Joshua has never been a secret from Minghao. Even if you’d wanted it to be, Minghao would’ve worked it out in two days, tops. But, as you keep reiterating, it’s just a stupid crush. It’ll fade. Just like your crush on Kim Hongjoong two years ago, and your crush on Kim Namjoon the year before that. You have a habit of letting things die out, and you’re very comfortable in that habit. 

“___,” Minghao says seriously, “you should tell him.”

“There are literally so many things I’d do before I confess. I’d rather memorise the proof of Fermat’s Last Theorem than do that.”

“You never know if you don’t try! And besides,” Minghao adds, softer, “even if he, you know, doesn’t feel that way, Joshua’s not... well, he won’t make you feel bad about anything. You guys can still be friends. Joshua’s nice.”

Which is the sentence that echoes in your head later that same day, when your meeting with Professor Lee and Joshua is over. Lee is long gone, leaving you and Joshua to go over a few minor details with your tutor schedules and office hour planning. Joshua just looks… really good, with all his files spread out in front of him, his silky voice talking about something stupid one of his tutees had done, his long, dyed hair slightly mussed. 

“…and then he asked me how to find where the line intercepts the asymptote!” he finishes, chuckling. You’re a little late with your laugh, too busy focussing on how the afternoon sun lights up his hair, making it look lighter than it actually is.

Joshua calls your name, his smile shifting into something more concerned. “Are you okay?”

Your words stumble into each other on their way out. “I — well, yeah. Fine. I’m fine — good. I’m good.”

You guys can still be friends. 

“Actually, Josh, I wanted to ask you something,” you say in a sudden emboldened rush. 

“Go for it,” he says, smile fading ever so slightly. “Everything okay?”

“I — ” You hesitate, and in that split second, your courage disappears. You stare at him, and your brain decides for you: unattainable. Untouchable. “I forgot,” you finish lamely, ducking your head and shuffling your papers. Surprisingly, you’re not quite at the level of mortification you thought you would be.

“Ookay,” Joshua drags out, still watching you with concern, before he shakes it off and starts to gather his things. “Well, just let me know if you remember. I’m here for you, okay? We’re friends, not just TAs!”

That fucking word again. Friends. Only this time, you realise suddenly, it barely even hurts. 

Maybe you’re just getting used to it.

“So…” Vernon says, sidling up to Chan in their shared kitchen, “how’s your TA?”

Chan sighs, looking mournfully at the spicy ramen he’d just made for himself. So much for peace. It must’ve been the smell that lured Vernon out of his bedroom, but he’s clearly an opportunist; killing two birds with one stone by prying into his life and poaching his food. “Joshua is fine.”

“That’s great, but I know that already,” Vernon says, as he helps himself to some of the ramen. Chan lets him, and that must be how his friend realises something is wrong, because he’s suddenly narrowing his eyes at Chan around his mouthful of noodles. “What is it? Did she turn you down?”

Chan drags out his words. “I haven’t said anything to her. She likes someone else. I can tell.”

Vernon considers this for a moment, characteristically quiet and contemplative. “Are you sure?”

“Well — not really. But I’m like, eighty percent sure? But also I don’t really know her that well, and Jeonghan once said to me she’s always super nice to everyone, so I don’t think she’s into me. But then I also don’t know if she’s into him either! Because she’s nice to me and him and apparently every motherfucker on the planet, so it’s, like, confusing, you know? But like. I think she is into him. She looks at him in a kinda way, so…”

Vernon chews with wide eyes. “Damn. That’s crazy, bro, what are you going to do?

Chan exhales deeply. “I don’t know. I think we’ll be better off as friends. I’ll probably just… give up.”

Vernon nods slowly, already backing away. “Good luck, dude. Here for you.” He raises an awkward fist in solidarity, and that’s when Chan glances at his bowl of ramen and realises it’s empty.

Chan allows himself one day to mope. He even cancels a session for the first time, shooting you a quick message to let you know he isn’t feeling great, and he wallows. Stays in bed the entire twenty four hours, scoffing all the ramen in the house, and now he owes Seungkwan and Vernon two packs each, but still — he feels better. He’s grateful he didn’t let it get too far, at the very least. You guys can still be friends, and one day this will be a funny joke he slips into conversation.

When he shows up to the next session, a few days later, he’s determined not to show any hint of awkwardness. He plunks his books down with a renewed energy, startling you as you take out your headphones. 

“I was going to ask if you’re feeling better,” you start dryly, “but I can see that’s clearly the case.”

“Yeah. Nothing big, I’m fine now,” he waves off your concern. Heartsick, maybe. It still twinges at him, when he sees your soft smile, faintly smells your trademark perfume, your colour coded notes in front of you. He doesn’t know when highlighters became so endearing, when he learnt that you always overuse the pastel green one. 

“Okay, so asymptotes,” you begin, and Chan scoots closer, a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“You’re my asymptote,” he says with solemn seriousness, “because I always tend towards you.” 

You fluster easily, Chan has noticed. You avoid his gaze, but you’re laughing, telling him how terrible his jokes are but still — you’re laughing.

Suddenly, in only a few minutes, the thought of getting over you is a lot more daunting than he imagined. You make it harder when you laugh at the stupid joke he quips a moment later, too; you always tell him he has an infectious laugh, but yours is like music to his ears, no matter how hard you try to suppress it in the library. 

“Come on,” you say, finally, gathering yourself together. “Asymptotes. It’s our last lesson for a bit. Are you going home for Thanksgiving?”

“Leaving tomorrow afternoon,” he confirms. “What about you?”

“Tomorrow morning,” you say. “Asymptotes will be the end of this chapter, so it’s perfect timing, really. We can start the new stuff after the break.”

Privately, Chan thinks the break really is perfect timing. He can wallow a little more, back at home with the comfort of his mother’s food and his father’s baseball reruns. He’ll come back ready to finish his tutoring, ace calculus, and be your friend. With firm emphasis on friend. For a moment, he considers you and Joshua as a couple, and honestly, as much as it stings, it’s cute. It makes sense. 

After the break, winter hits full force. Your first tutoring session at the library is with Chan, and you’re layered up to the max, treating yourself to coffee as a shield against the bite of the cold outside. Vaguely, you remember Chan saying something about how he only drinks lattes hot, and so you order one for him too, taking extra packets of sugar and a stirring spoon on your way out. You know he likes to do the sugar himself.

“I’m late, I know.” You shrug off your coat when you arrive at your guys’ usual table, shaking the raindrops off your coat and hair with an apologetic smile. “It literally started pouring just two minutes before I got here, but here — coffee.” You unload your arms on the table in front of him, slightly breathless, tugging a hand through your untamed hair. 

You catch Chan looking at you, something unreadable in his gaze, and you wince. “Sorry,” you apologise again.

“It’s okay,” he says, “I’ve just — I’ve never seen you so…”

“Messy?” you finish, laughing half self-consciously.

“Disorganised,” he corrects, and it feels gentler. “You’re kind of, like, windswept?” He pauses, quieter. “You look — pretty.”

You ran to the library a solid ten minutes ago. Your heart shouldn’t still be beating this fast. “Thank you,” you reply, just as quietly. There’s silence for a beat, fraught with some sort of tension, before you slap the textbook with too much enthusiasm, “So, uh, next chapter!”

“Next chapter,” he agrees quickly, and just like that, the weirdness dissipates, and it’s just you and Chan.

At least, until Joshua steps in the library. He’s browsing the section near you; you see him before he sees you, but only by a few seconds. You just have enough time to think how cute his scarf is, and then his eyes fall on you and Chan, and he waves with a smile. 

You wave back as he nears the table. “I don’t want to interrupt,” Joshua explains quickly, “just wanted to say hi. To both of you. How’s it going?” He directs his question to Chan, adding — “Is she running you to the ground?”

“She wouldn’t,” Chan says simply. He doesn’t say much else as Joshua says his goodbyes and disappears between the shelves, but you’re still a little harried-looking, dusting down your clothes unnecessarily. 

“So,” Chan says casually, as you return your focus to him and take a sip of water to try and cool you down, “how long have you had a crush on Joshua?”

You choke. Heat curls up your neck, and not because of your coughing — hot-faced and spluttering, you demand, “What are you talking about?” Even as you speak, you can tell your voice is pitched too high. Too defensive.

The younger boy gives you a look. “Come on. I’m not blind.”

You duck your head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Anyway, so this question about limits — ”

“You’re a terrible liar,” he sings, cutting you off. “You have a big fat crush on Hong Joshua!”

Eyes wide, you slap a hand over his mouth, glancing behind you in horror. “Oh my God, keep your voice down!”

Beneath your palm, Chan gives you the most self-satisfied, victorious look, and belatedly, you realise you’ve given yourself away. “Fuck you,” you say, without any venom, releasing him and leaning back, trying extremely hard not to sulk. “It’s none of your business anyway.”

“It is when you’re making googly eyes at him right in front of me. Your student.”

“I don’t make googly eyes!” you object immediately, horrified. “I’ve never made googly eyes.”

“Whatever you say, teach.”

“I don’t.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t!”

“Okay, I said.” He still has that smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. It’s infuriating.

Briefly, your mind flits back to the stumbling boy you’d spoken to when he’d first asked for your help, back in late September. You miss him, you think sarcastically. He was the total opposite of the guy in front of you now.

“So?” Chan leans forward over the desk with raised, expectant eyebrows.

“So what?”

“So, how long? A month? Two?”

Your cheeks grow hot with embarrassment. Again.

“Longer?”

 “A year,” you whisper, avoiding his gaze.

“A year?!” He practically yelps, and you have never wanted to bury yourself alive more than you do at this moment.

“A year and a half. Or something,” you confirm weakly, and then shake your head. You gently push his forehead with the eraser side of your pencil, forcing him back to his side of the desk. “But that doesn’t matter. I’m meant to be helping you with limits today.”

“I think you need more help than I do,” he says with sudden, sweet sympathy, patting your hand how he always does. You snatch it away and glare at him, but he ploughs on. “How have you not made a single move for a year and a half? You should do something about it. Move past the googly eyes.”

“Don’t want to. Can’t make me.” You tap your pencil against his open, untouched /textbook. “Now focus. On your work, and not on prying into my love life!”

He clicks his tongue softly, but picks up his own pencil again; inwardly, you let out a soft sigh of relief. Mortification still boils in the pits of your stomach — a guy you barely even know caught on so quickly. Are you really so obvious?

Chan works quietly for all of three minutes, and then he glances at you again. “I don’t want to hear it,” you say warningly, cutting him off before he can even start.

Amusement sparkles in his eyes. “I didn’t say anything!”

”You were going to.”

“I think you should make a move, that’s all.”

“I think it’s none of your business.” 

“You said we were friends now! I’m trying to help my friend!”

“I take it back. Strictly tutor and student. We’re no longer friends.”

“No, seriously. I think you could totally get him to fall for you.”

You audibly snort. “Chan, do you know how many people have a crush on Joshua? He wouldn’t look twice at me. And I’m fine with that.”

“I’m not!”

You groan, tip your head on to the textbook in front of you. Then you turn, glaring at him and his entertained smile — with a smushed cheek and sulky pout, you ask, ”Why is this such a big deal to you, anyway?”

Chan almost seems to fold in on himself when you ask that. For someone so open and friendly, he has a way of shuttering down that startles you a little. It’s subtle, but you’re starting to notice it; his avoidant eyes and the faint pink on the apples of his cheeks. “I don’t know,” he says, shrugging with obviously feigned nonchalance. “I guess — I think you deserve to be happy.”

Sometimes people say things that hit you straight in the gut. Wind you. Leave you just a little bit breathless with their sincerity. 

You open and close your mouth like a fucking fish. “Oh,” you say at last, stupidly, “that’s — that’s really nice of you, Chan.”

Whatever brief embarrassment he was experiencing, he seems to be over it. “I know. I’m the best. And that’s why I’m going to help you.”

You laugh again, amused and slightly endeared by his enthusiasm. “Okay, fairy godmother. Let’s get back to work, maybe.”

“No, seriously,” Chan insists, brown eyes sparkling. “I’m going to teach you how to flirt.”

The previous flattering you felt disappears in the space of a second. “Excuse me?” you say incredulously, but you’re laughing already, simply at the pure audacity. “Who says I don’t know how to flirt?”

“You did,” he says, matching your smile, “when you didn’t make a single move for a year and a half. But don’t worry. I’m going to help you.”

“I didn’t ask for your help!”

“No, but you need it, so I’m going to help you anyway,” he nods generously.

“How kind,” you say sarcastically, before thwacking his shoulder with your thinnest textbook.

Chan bursts out laughing as he dodges it, before switching back to that tone — the one that had you caving into him only a few weeks back, when he asked you to be his tutor. (Briefly, you wonder how it’s only been a few weeks. Part of you feels like you’ve known him forever.)

“Seriously,” he continues, “I can help you. I’ve literally never been rejected in my life.”

“Oh, yeah?” You snort, but honestly, you don’t doubt it. 

He tilts his head to the side. “Well, like, once in middle school. It doesn’t count. 100% success rate, baby.”

“99%, maybe.”

“That is not how statistics works,” he says smugly. “Thought you’d know better, teach.”

“You’re the worst.”

“I’m the best. I’m going to get you a boyfriend; literally just give me twenty minutes at the end of the rest of our tutoring sessions.”

“We only have, like, three left.” 

“That’ll be enough.”

Fuck it, you think. You don’t think this will help you with Joshua — nor do you want it to — but why the hell not? If it makes Chan happy, as it so clearly seems to…

“Ten minutes,” you sigh.

His eyes brighten. “Fifteen.”

“Fine,” you acquiesce after a short moment, waving your hand dismissively. “From next time, though. I don’t have time today.”

You try to ignore his Cheshire cat grin, but it’s infectious. You’re mirroring it by the time he slaps the desk victoriously, assuring you, “You won’t regret this, I swear.”

“I’m sure I will. So, limits — ”

“Limits,” he agrees, an infuriatingly triumphant smirk on his lips. 

You roll your eyes, but you’re still smiling. “You have no limits.”

“Lesson one,” Chan says, a little too gleefully, only a few days later. “Body language.” 

He watches you pass a hand over your forehead with a grimace. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“First tip is to not be doing things like that when he speaks,” Chan says lightly, pulling your hands away from your forehead. He places his index fingers either side of your lips, and gently, carefully, he pulls the corners of them upwards. “Smile.” 

You blink at him, and it is, unfortunately, the cutest thing he’s ever seen. “But,” he continues, shaking it off and pulling his fingers away, “you’re good at smiling anyway, so that’s not a key concern.”

Surprise appears on your features. “Nobody’s ever said that to me before. I usually get the opposite.”

Chan is slightly taken-aback, because you’re always smiling. You’re quiet, definitely, but you laugh super easy, and smile even easier than that. 

“But go on.” You change the subject quickly, and Chan realises that despite yourself, you’re getting intrigued now. 

“Tip number two,” he continues, magnanimously, “eye contact.”

“Absolutely not.”

“What? Why not?” The swiftness of your refusal startles him, but even as he asks, he kind of knows; you tend to avoid eye contact, especially when you’re shy, or embarrassed, or confused, or… well, a lot of the time. “You can practise.”

You look at him with horror. “Practise?”

“With me,” he nods, steeling himself already. “Now.”

“You’re joking.”

“I never joke,” he lies straight to your face, just to make you relax. Sure enough, your shoulders loosen almost instantly, and you let out half a smile. “Come on. Just for two minutes.” 

“Okay,” you finally agree, meeting his stare. Chan leans forward just the slightest bit, and for the first time in his life, he understands what it means to sink into someone else’s eyes. Your gaze isn’t intense, but it’s captivating, and he’s not sure if that’s his own feelings surfacing up again, or it’s just — natural. Either way, being this close to you is doing something funny to his ribs, the same thing that happened when you brought him coffee. 

He tries to distract himself. “Can’t believe we only have two tutoring sessions left.” His voice has lowered instinctively, taken on a slightly gravelly tone that seems to surprise you a little Your lips part for a second, and then you nod; he watches your throat bob as you swallow.

“Yeah,” you say, equally as hushed. “Time flies, huh?”

His lips are dry. The tip of his tongue darts out, and he watches as you seem to follow it. “Yeah. When you’re having fun.”

Chan goes home that night more confused than before, and it only gets worse when Seungkwan’s waiting for him in the living room, hands on hips. One look at him, and Chan can tell he’s going to play interrogator.

“I just don’t know if this is a good idea,” Seungkwan says, at last, after Chan slumps on to the couch. “Helping her get with Joshua. You’re going to break your own heart.”

Chan wrinkles his nose. “I am not. We’re just friends, Seungkwan. I’m over it.”

Seungkwan looks at him disbelievingly, and Chan rolls his eyes. “I’m getting over it,” he corrects himself. “But we’re fine. Don’t worry.”

“I’m your best friend,” Seungkwan replies instantly, “Of course I’m going to worry. You just — you open your heart so easily. Which is a good thing!” he tacks on hastily, “But she… well.” 

Arching a brow, Chan leans forward. “She what?”

“Let me put it this way. You’re a romantic, and from what I can tell, she’s a cynic.”

Chan has never given much thought to what other people think about you, not until now. In all honesty, he’d had a similar perception of you, at first. Extremely organised. Kind of stoic. Nice, but distant. But now, he’s sure that nothing has ever been further from the truth. You’re reserved, that goes without a doubt, but you’re not cold. You’re kind. Care immensely for your friends, even though there are only a few of them. Shy, but sweet, and he thinks it’s a fucking shame that people can’t see that. He’d thought you were distant, but he’s heard other people describe you as uptight. Snobbish.

All people do is talk, he thinks with a little contempt. 

He looks back at his roommate. “You don’t know her, Seungkwan. She’s not a cynic.”

His friend shrugs. “I trust you. Just… be careful.”

Your second “lesson” with Chan begins with him grabbing you by the hand and pulling you in between random bookshelves. 

“Stand here,” he instructs, before patting you on the shoulders. You can feel the warmth of his hands through your sweater. “Okay,” he says, “lesson two is all about conversation. He’s going to fall in love with your mouth — not like that,” he adds quickly, when he sees you biting down on your lip to hide your laugh. “Mind out the gutter, teach.”

You grin at him cheekily. “You’re the teacher now. Come on, then.” The truth is, these lessons are more entertaining than anything. You’re enjoying it, hanging out with Chan without having to remind him to finish his questions or double-check the textbook. 

“Be serious!” he complains, but his eyes have that usual sparkle to them. He glances at your clothes for a moment. “Nice sweater, by the way. You look good in blue. But anyway, quick tips — remember what he likes, compliment him, talk about what you have in common, stuff like that. Okay, I’m going to go over and I want you to imagine I’m Joshua. So you see me randomly in the library, what are you doing?”

You snort. “Running in the other direction.”

He holds a finger up, hiding a smile at your silly answer. “Bzzzt. Wrong answer. You lose ten points.”

“When did I have ten points to begin with?” you argue, but still, you’re struggling to suppress your giggles. 

“You didn’t. You’re in the negatives.” He flicks you gently on the forehead. “Try again.”

“Ow,” you complain, pouting. “Okay, I’m meant to say hi.”

“Ding! Ten points. Back to zero.” Chan waits expectantly, and you look at him in confusion. He motions with his fingers. “Go on. Say hi.”

“I am not roleplaying with you!” you hiss, horrified, pushing his arm gently. He stumbles back exaggeratedly. “We do math, Chan, not drama!”

“Actually I do math and history,” he corrects nonchalantly, “and history is dramatic.”

Flummoxed, you repeat after him — “History? Since when do you do history?”

“Since, like, three years ago…?” He laughs at your expression, but you can’t bring yourself to mirror his lightness, for once. 

You feel rooted to your spot. “You’re a double major?” Something uncomfortable stirs in the pits of your stomach, and you know you’re not being rational — there’s no reason why this should jar you so much, but you feel jarred. “How did I not know this?” you ask, more to yourself. You turn to him, head moving so sharply he almost steps back. “Did you ever mention this?

Chan’s smile is fading. “I don’t know. Probably not.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know,” he laughs awkwardly, “it never came up. It’s not a big deal!”

“It is to me,” you insist, “Chan, you’re my friend! I should know this stuff!”

“It’s not a big deal,” he repeats, his brows furrowed. “Seriously. You know me better than half my friends already, and we’ve only been friends for like, a few months.” He attempts a smile — “You even know about the whole story behind that girl rejecting me back in middle school, I don’t tell that to everyone.”

“Yeah,” you say distractedly, “I guess so.”

Chan looks at the time. “Don’t you have a meeting now? With Joshua?”

You tilt your head, confused, your mind still on his history major.  “I do?”

“It’s Wednesday,” he reminds you, and you snap out of it, checking the time yourself. “You’re going to be late,” Chan laughs, gently pushing you towards your bag. “Go!”

You wave at him as you gather your stuff haphazardly, calling an, “I’ll text you later!” ok your way out. 

“Remember my top tips!” he calls back, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. You laugh and flip him off, bundling yourself out the library — only to run smack into another girl leaving at the same time. 

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” you apologise, helping her pick up her pencils. “I wasn’t looking!”

“It’s okay,” she assures you quickly. “By the way,” she adds, “you and your boyfriend are so cute!”

“My… boyfriend?” You hand her stuff back to her with a furrowed brow.

She beams at you sunnily. “Yeah! I always see you guys on your cute study dates over there, it’s soo sweet. The way you guys look at each other is, like, to die for.”

“Thank you,” you say automatically, before opening your mouth to correct her. But it’s too late, she’s gone and you’re left standing in the exit with a thousand thoughts rushing through your mind, ones that preoccupy you all the way back to yours and Joshua’s shared office. 

They only multiply when you see Joshua, and feel absolutely nothing. There’s no typical dip in your stomach, no stuttering heartbeat, just a familiar smile and nothing else, which is when you realise — you haven’t been feeling anything like what you used to feel.

At least, not around Joshua.

“That’s the first time you’ve been late, like, ever,” Joshua observes, “Were you with Chan?”

“Yeah, I — uh, how did you know that?” You cut yourself off to stare at him in surprise.

“Our tutoring schedules are right there,” he smiles, nodding to the pinboard next to him. You almost sigh in relief. A normal explanation, finally. Something that makes sense. These realisations and observations are nothing more than —

“But you always have a certain look after you see him anyway,” Joshua continues obliviously. “Your eyes get all shiny. You smile more.” He pauses, grins at you knowingly, “You guys are close, huh?”

“I — I don’t — ” You stutter feebly, because suddenly everything is hot and you need to lie down. “I don’t feel well,” you almost shout, way too loud; Joshua startles, but nods. 

“Okay,” he says, worriedly. “We can reschedule, but do you need a ride home?”

“No!” you snap, before taking a deep breath. “Sorry. No. I think — the fresh air will be good for me.”

Joshua lets you go, and you feel close to tears the whole way home. 

You can’t stomach this, you think, curled up in a ball under your duvet. It doesn’t make sense; you may be a math major, but none of this is adding up.

“I like Joshua,” you say out loud, and it sounds hollow. It sounds false. It doesn’t bring anything with it. 

Slowly, tentatively, you say, “I like Chan.” 

That brings so much, but more than anything, it brings warmth. Warmth like the serious brown of his eyes, his rough hands, his smile, his laugh, the way he chews his lip when he’s thinking hard about a question. 

You stick your head in a pillow and let out a scream.

Chan doesn’t know if he should invite you to the end of semester party that Seungcheol is throwing, considering his absolute failure in getting over you, but he does it anyway. He invited you to the Halloween one, and you turned him down, saying you had plans with some other friends, but he reckons it’s worth trying again, so he does just that.

Your response comes within minutes. 

[16:43] you: isn’t that the night before our last tutoring?

[16:44] chan: i know! but i’ll be on time i promise i wont even drink that much [16:44] chan: it’ll be like a celebration!!

[16:45] you: of what?

[16:45] chan: you put up with me for a full semester :)

He watches your typing bubble appear and reappear multiple times with a frown, until:

[16:48] you: i don’t “put up” with you chan

A smile. A big cheesy one that has his cheeks aching a little.

[16:48] you: we’re friends, aren’t we?

No matter how hard he tries, that still stings. 

The party sneaks up faster than expected, and Chan agrees to meet you there, because you’re coming with Minghao, and he agreed to help Seungcheol set up before he knew you were coming. Which is, you know, whatever. He’s not a little upset that he doesn’t get to pick you up in his car and do the whole opening-your-door-for-you thing — not at all, no matter what Seungkwan tries to imply.

Joshua probably would’ve, he thinks miserably, as people begin to arrive. That’s what you’d once said, ages ago, that you liked about him. 

‘He’s sweet,’ you’d said, ‘and he, like, holds doors open for me.’

‘The bar is in hell,’ Chan had said in response, making you snort with laughter, hiding your face. 

“No moping at my party!” Seungcheol yells as he sails by, carrying a load of ping pong balls — they’re setting up beer pong in the other room, but for once, Chan doesn’t feel the need to take up Jeonghan’s challenge. He dithers by the door, looking up hopefully every time someone enters, and every time, it isn’t you. 

Until it is. You come in just after Minghao, and Chan’s breath is quite literally taken away. It’s horrifyingly cliché, how gorgeous you look — you always do, but he’s never seen you dressed up before. Not like this, with a blue dress that falls to your mid-thigh, hair done to perfection. Makeup too, that makes your eyes look bigger and softer, that matches your outfit exactly.

Something swells inside him when he sees you on your tiptoes, craning your neck this way and that; instinctively, he thinks you’re looking for him. And when your eyes finally land on his, you smile so big that his insides turn molten; hot and tight and full, so incredibly full. He moves towards you without even realising, a moth to a flame. 

“You look — ” He swallows. Hard. “Amazing. You look amazing.”

You open your mouth to reply, but before you can, Minghao mutters something in your ear, gesturing to a room on the right before tugging you away. Chan watches as you send him an apologetic wave — and then you’re gone, melting into the sea of people that Seungcheol somehow knows. And he’s tugged in completely the opposite direction, casting one longing look after you.

About an hour into the party, you see Chan with someone else. A girl. Short, dark-haired, bright-eyed — pretty. So pretty.

You’re not one to get jealous, usually. But that’s the only word to describe the way your stomach drops and your heart twists. Green-eyed monster, rearing in your chest. She makes him laugh, and he touches her arm when he does, and honestly, it’s a completely innocent picture. They’re probably just friends, and you’re usually so secure in yourself, but with Chan — you feel everything but secure. It was only last week you allowed yourself to acknowledge you were halfway to falling in love with him.

Joshua was familiar, at least. This is not, which is why it took you so long to accept it. 

You smooth down your dress (“You look good in blue.”), and watch as Chan leans down to hear her over the music. Maybe it’s the second drink in your hand, which you’d only taken after being egged on by Mingyu — he’d handed you his “professional” jungle juice. It tastes like shit, but recent events have brought with them a desire to get absolutely fucking wasted.

Tragically, you’ve managed tipsy at best, but it’s still enough to have you over-emotional, and with one last look at Chan and the pretty girl, you escape the watchful eyes of Minghao to the balcony of Seungcheol’s disgustingly wealthy place to cry. Which you do, with shaky, gulping breaths, and blurred vision.

When you’ve calmed yourself just the slightest bit, you glance at yourself in your phone camera, lit up by the yellow lighting inside. The girl in the mirror is almost unrecognisable — drunk and face streaked with cheap mascara (advertised as waterproof but clearly not).

God, your head aches. When did life become so fucking complicated?

You know when; you know exactly when, that little snarky voice in the corner of your head tells you, flashing you an image of a certain brown-haired boy with his stupid smile. You know that this mess started somewhere around when he waltzed into your life, brandishing his flirting tips and stupid math puns.  What you don’t know is when he slipped his way into your heart, when you somehow gave him the power to crush it in his fingers. 

That’s what it feels like. Lee Chan has your heart in the palm of his hand, and he doesn’t have a fucking clue.

The thought makes you feel slightly sick — or maybe it’s the overconsumption of the jungle juice that Mingyu cooked up, but whatever it is, your stomach churns uncomfortably, leaving acid climbing your throat. You cast a contemptuous look at the mixture in your red solo cup, and with a sigh, dump the rest of it over the balcony next to you. You ignore the call of hey, fuck you! that comes from below, instead sinking to the floor, hugging your knees and leaning your aching, hot against the cool metal railing to blink away the tears that burn behind your eyes.

Momentarily you consider how at the start of the year, you’d never have expected yourself to be here, not in a million years. At the SVT frat house, hidden in a corner to weep over a boy. A boy that isn’t Hong Joshua — a boy that is, technically, in some ways, your student.

“Fuck you, Lee Chan,” you say bitterly, and as always, you can’t bring yourself to mean it.

“Why’s that?” A familiar voice has you snapping your head towards the balcony doorway. Tall and smiling as always, Joshua regards you with a look of mixed sympathy and pity. You resent it. 

“Fuck you too!” You try to scowl at him; it doesn’t quite work, and you’re too drunk and tired to muster up the energy to be angry at him. Joshua didn’t really do anything; the only crime you can hold against him is obliviousness. He’s not the one holding your heart in his hands. You don’t think he ever really was — at the very least, what you felt with him was never like this. There was never so much.

Joshua doesn’t say anything, just laughs and sits next to you on the floor. Both of you have your backs pressed to the railing, and he nudges you softly with his shoulder. “Everything okay?”

You swallow thickly. “No.”

He smiles ever so slightly, nodding to your tearful face. “Yeah, I mean, I figured.”

You let out a watery giggle. “God. I’m such a mess.”

Joshua hums, like he’s actually considering your words deeply. “You aren’t, really. You’re like, the least messy person I know.”

You sniffle a little. “What?”

“Come on, ___, you’re like the most put-together person in this whole university. It’s kind of refreshing to see you outside of that.”

“What, you enjoy seeing me cry?” 

“No, of course not,” he says quickly, bumping your shoulder. “Just. In general, I mean. You’ve been happier lately.”

You gesture to your tear tracks. “This is happy?”

Joshua clicks his tongue at you. “I think Chan is really good for you,” he says finally, quietly. Like he knows he’s broaching a forbidden topic — which he is. You flinch at the very sound of his name. “He makes you happy. That’s what I mean. You should give yourself a shot.”

“No,” you say immediately, automatically. “I can’t.”

“You could,” he says, without reproach. “If you let yourself.”

You let that settle. Silence falls — or at least as much silence as you can get when you’re metres away from a house party. “I used to have a crush on you, you know.” You don’t look at him, facing straight ahead thoughtfully.

Joshua smiles, rueful. “I know.”

You snap your head round, and your disbelief must be etched onto your face because he laughs. “I could tell,” he shrugs. “You got flustered so easily, sometimes.”

The slightest of groans. “I do that, apparently.” You hug your legs to you again, resting your cheek on your knees as you look at Joshua, sitting by your side. “I almost asked you out, too.” 

“I probably would’ve said yes,” he confesses honestly, but still, somehow, you don’t feel anything. “But then I saw how you are with Chan. And that is not like this,” he continues gently. “The way you looked at me back then is nothing, compared to how you look at him.”

“Don’t tell him.” You’re not afraid to beg.

“God forbid you let yourself feel something, right?” Joshua laughs a little, but his eyes bore into you with sincere sympathy. “Why are you so afraid of your own feelings?”

You don’t know what to say. But you’re saved from having to think about it, because Lee Chan himself sticks his head through the door, something shifting on to his face when his eyes finally land on you. 

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you for — ” he freezes for a second, the exact moment his eyes land on Joshua sitting next to you “ — ages,” he finishes, slowly, before taking a step back. “I should go.”

“No, stay,” Joshua says, quickly, standing up. “We were just finished.”

Chan fidgets with the end of his shirt as Joshua leaves, casting one more empathetic smile at you, and the moment the older boy is gone, Chan steps closer towards you. “I’m sorry,” he says, “I didn’t realise he was — you’re crying.” His change in tone is so abrupt, from apologetic to dead serious in half a second. ”What happened?”

“Nothing,” you say, too high-pitched. “I’m fine now. It’s fine.”

“Was it Joshua?” he demands, already looking back in the direction his friend disappeared to. “What did he say?”

“What? No. It wasn’t him.” You try to change the subject. “I am older than you, you know, I don’t need to be babysat. I hope you didn’t interrupt your fun just to come looking for me.”

He smiles, but his eyes don’t. “Only by a year. And anyway, I have more fun with you.”

You hate that your mind flits back to that girl, the laughing one. “What about your friends? I saw you with, um, what’s her name? The pretty one, dark hair?” 

Subtlety is not your strong suit. 

Chan just blinks at you. “You mean Jana? Yeah, she wanted me to play beer pong against her and her girlfriend. But I did that.” Something untwists in your stomach. He steps closer, fishing a tissue out of nowhere, and with the tenderest touch, wipes at the makeup staining your cheeks.

He’s so close, you can see every individual eyelash. “Why? Were you jealous?” he asks lightly, referring to Jana as he uses one hand to cup your cheek and remove the dark mess under your eyes more carefully.

“No!” Your voice is harsher than intended, jerking out of his grip. and his eyes flick to yours with worry.

“I was kidding,” he says softly, frowning, “Is everything okay, teach?”

Alcohol blurs your rational thinking. You lean your forehead against his chest with the deepest sigh. “Sorry. Sorry.” A short breath. “Chan, I’m so tired.”

He wraps his arms around you, rubbing your back up and down. “Are you drunk?”

You shake your head. “I was tipsy, but I only had two drinks. I’m sober now. Just… exhausted.” 

“I can take you home,” he murmurs against your ear; he’s so warm, he always is, but his touch sends goosebumps all over your skin. “Is that what you want?”

You lean back, look him in the eye, but neither of you let go of each other. Eye contact. From lesson one. “What’s the third lesson?”

“What?”

“Tomorrow. Our last lesson. What’s it on?”

He’s silent for a minute. “I don’t know,” he replies, at last. 

You cock your head to the side, questioningly, and it’s like something in him snaps, and the words come rushing out, stumbling into each other — “I’ve been making these up as I go along. On the spot.”

“Oh,” you say, surprised but too numb to feel it properly. “Why?”

He squeezes his eyes shut for a second, looking defeated. “I don’t know. Well. I do. I just don’t know how to tell you.”

Something clicks for you. I’ve got a great teacher. You’re my favourite too. You look — pretty. I think you deserve to be happy. You look good in blue. 

“Chan,” you say, taking an abrupt step back. Your voice is hoarse suddenly, scratchy with yet another realisation. “What colour is my dress?”

He looks utterly perplexed by your swift change in subject, but he obliges you anyway. “Blue. Why?”

“Do you remember,” you begin, voice shaking ever so slightly. This is the precipice. You’re taking the leap. God forbid you let yourself feel something — well, you are. “Do you remember a week ago? Lesson two?”

“Conversation,” he nods, and you can see his mind working a hundred miles an hour. 

“I was wearing that sweater, and you said — ”

“You look good in blue,” he finishes at once. His eyes flit between you and the dress, and you see the exact moment it dawns on him; the light of comprehension. “But you — Joshua — ”

You shake your head at the question he doesn’t ask. 

It’s like he’s frozen. A minute or a century passes, you’re not sure which, before his eyes meet yours again, filled with something heavy, raw, tender emotion. “How long?”

“Long enough,” you say, and then you’re kissing him, or he’s kissing you, you’re not sure who moves first, or if you move at the same time, but whatever it is — you’re melting into him and he is melting into you, and it’s like your heart gives a happy little sigh. Your shoulders relax, and the tension of the past few weeks evaporates in a few gentle touches.

You break apart with a soft little ‘tch’ sound, and he looks at you with full eyes and the shyest smile you’ve ever seen him wear. 

“You know, technically, you’re still my student,” you say, slightly breathless, entirely giddy. 

He rolls his eyes, tugging you back in already, sliding his arms around your waist. “Yeah, for a week.”

“And a half,” you add, as he begins to kiss up your neck. “You’d better ace your exam next week, after all our hard work.”

He presses his nose into your neck, huffing out a laugh. “I can’t believe that’s what you’re worried about. Now, of all things.”

“That’s what you should be worried about,” you say, bringing a hand up to his hair, running through it with your fingers as you’ve wanted to for so long. “That, and walking me home, maybe.”

“I fully intend to do at least one of those things,” he says, landing a chaste kiss on your lips. “We have a lot to talk about, you know. Starting with me asking you out. Properly.” 

A hint of mischief appears in your smile. “Do well in your exam, and I’ll consider it.”

Chan pulls back, a familiar, confident smirk on his lips. “You have yourself a deal. But until then…”

“We’re still at a party,” you say, dodging his lips with a laugh, even though you really don’t want to. Not at all. “We can’t be that couple.”

He drops his forehead against yours. “We can be whatever the fuck we want. Nobody’s looking, anyway.”

And so you let him kiss you, again and again and again, until he walks you home, and does the same at your door, and the same in your living room. Over and over, making up for all the times he wanted to but couldn’t, he whispers. Your whole body softens at the weight of his hands, travelling the small of your back, cupping your cheek, squeezing your hips. His lips are on yours, and yours are on his, and everything makes sense. Everything adds up.

a/n: (yes another) i hate this so much but i think i’ve been dealing with it too long so im just going to. throw it out there. thank you for reading!!! i’d love to hear what you think!!!! hopefully i’ll venture into longfic more often <3

[wh1msic4lwasab1]

𝙒𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝘼𝙪𝙙𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚°ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

synopsis: being a cam couple w/ aventurine

tags: vulgar, explicit, exhibitionism, creampie, nipple play, handjob

wrd cnt: 1.5k

a/n: rewrite from first acc!

Your boyfriend Aventurune is well, tight on money, all the time... but! This leaves room for a lot or creative ways for him to obtain income, somehow he always makes it work, this time he's eager to involve you as well.

You're just sitting on the couch one night, finishing up some work while waiting for your love to come back home.

You hear the keys in the front door jingle, "Y/n? I have a surprise for you honey!" you hear, curiously you walk over to the kitchen table where he has two sparkly bags waiting for you.

"What's this?" You ask, happy to open them up and take a look inside.

Aventurine takes out your presents, and well...your jaw drops at the sight of the softest material, silky and lace lingerie in a dark red hue, with ribbons at the chest and bottom.

"What do you think?", he says, a smirk on his face as he hands you the garment.

You thank him excitedly, before he pulls out a matching collar and vibrator, along with his and hers masquerade masks. "Aven...you really want to get lucky tonight huh- how did you afford all this?”

He chuckles, "About that, before I tell you, this gift is for you with no strings, but.."

"But?"

"I wanted to ask a favor from you."

You were a little scared, as you thought your boyfriend wanted to prostitute you for a minute, he sits you down and explains his new job idea: being a cam couple.

At first you're shocked at what he just asked you, not exactly opposed. He explains in more depth how everything would work, and said you both didn't have to reveal your faces, as viewers aren't necessarily very interested in that; hence the masks.

You agree, as there doesn't seem to be many downsides.

That night, you make arrangements and get everything situated. You go to the bathroom and change, meeting him in your bedroom, missing his shirt. He turns around in his chair and his eyes meet yours, he watches you get closer to him as his lips create the most sinful smile.

He whistles, "Oh my…aren’t you absolutely stunning." Your cheeks get red, you've never worn something so risqué and your stomach is full of butterflies as the reality of this situation hits you.

Aventurine signals you to him, placing you on his thigh, and drapping your legs over the armrests of the desk chair.

"Everything is ready baby, are you sure this is what you want? We can stop at any time, just say the word okay?" He reassures you, giving you the say to click the "go live" button.

You both put your masks on and click the button together.

Almost instantly, there's already a couple viewers.

Aven and you laugh, surprised just a little. His hands begins to move up and down your legs, opening them up and sitting you down in between him, with each leg raised up on the arm rest. You feel so bare, your legs open and spread in front of the camera as your back is against his warm chest.

"Look how pretty you are, y/n". He whispers in your ears, before reaching for the vibrator on the desk. He turns it onto the lower setting and slowly rubs it through the silk protecting your most sensitive area. You cup his face with your hand, tilting his head behind you down to meet his lips, and then his tongue. His other hand holds your neck, slightly squeezing it and toying witn your collar. Slowly, it trails down to your breast, his fingers pull at the ribbon and pull it. The top of your lingerie falls instantly and your tits are exposed as he squeezes them, rubbing and pinching your nipples as his tongue trials down to your neck as you quietly moan.

Only about 5 minutes pass, and you hear a ring from the screen, *Anonymous sent $10*

He opens his eyes to see the screen, not stopping his assault on your neck, only turning the vibrator up, causing your legs to twitch slightly as his hands are now on your waist, feeling your skin against his palm.

His fingers finds the silk that's keeping a barrier between you and the vibrator. He pulls the other ribbon, and opens it up as your legs are wide open front of the camera, hiding nothing.

His fingers open your folds, "Welcome audience, look at how pretty my loves pussy is, isn't she just so beautiful?” Aven says proudly, pushing his fingers inside your sopping cunt and focusing the vibrator onto your clit.

You moan quite loudly, and cover your mouth with your hand. Itto then says to you, and to the camera, "Don't do that, let them hear how fucking good you feel."

He turns the vibrator up to its highest setting, watching you squirm so intensely, as you clench around his fingers, hitting your sweet spot.

The tips keep rolling in, as people express their thoughts in the comments. Most of them very vulgar of course, which turned you on even more.

"Look at that baby, they love you." He says, while you weakly grip his hand which holds the vibrator against you, moaning for him breathlessly before you releast all over his fingers.

"Just like that sweetheart, cum for me." Your breathing slowly calms down as your head is now resting on his shoulder. Your boyfriend removes the toy from your sore clit, and his fingers pull out of you, bringing them to his mouth and licking your cum off, before kissing you.

When he asks you if you'd like to continue, your hand lands on his hard cock, rubbing it through his pants.

"Yes please" You say, wanting more of him.

Almost 300 people were viewing the live, and it felt so hot to show people how good your lover made you feel.

Aventurine smiles, gripping your neck and making you kiss him while he raised you up slightly off his lap by your waist, as you unbuckled his belt, he sat you back down as he pulled his pants down, his cook springing up and lightly hitting your folds.

As you got more comfortable, you rub your palm on your own wet pussy, then taking his cock in your hand and stroking it, slapping it on you a few times and rubbing his tip on your swollen clit.

Aventurine is quite a vocal lover, and he definitely didn't hold back for the camera. Groaning as you play with yourself and his hard member. He breathes heavily against your back as his hands twist your hard nipples, and grip your thighs that are again propped up on the sides of the chair.

"Fuck baby, I need you, please, ride me." He pleaded, his grip on your thighs getting harder as his cock yearns for your little cunt.

"Should I?" You ask, almost catching him off guard to the fact people were watching you, as he got distracted by how turned on he was.

"How about $50 and I take all of him? Hm?" You say, offering to whoever may be willing.

He only smiles at you, a sort of proud feeling hits him as he laughs at how you're making money off his yearning.

Not even 20 seconds after, you see:

*Anonymous sent $100"

"Wow, seems like you better give me the night of my life, y/n." He smirks, pushing his cock inside you before you get the chance.

A sultry and intense moan escapes your lips, his cock feels so big inside your pussy, you almost see stars. One of his hands hold yours while the other is on your knee. You balance yourself with a hand on his thigh, and start to bounce yourself up and down his dick, as the audience watch you struggle to take his length yet taking it entirely, down to the base.

"Fuck...baby- feels so good..." You can barely hold yourself up, his cock making you so weak.

Your boyfriend watches the large screen, staring at how your pussy swallows him, "You take me so well c’mon, you can do it-show them what a good girl you are." He coos, seeing your slick cover his entire cock, feeling your cunt wrap around him.

You're both moaning messes, and you can feel yourself coming so close to release. So is Aventurine, as he takes both his hands and holds your waist,

"Come here, let me show everyone how sexy you sound when I cum inside you, princess."

Your face is burning hot, and you feel like you're going to burst any second.

Aventurine slams you down on his throbbing cock, pushing himself up as well. Shortly after; you feel thick cum bursting inside you, as Aven groans in shaking breathes, his hands clenching the bottom of your thighs.

You look at the sight on the computer screen, Yours and his cum, mixed up in your cunt spilling out of you; dripping down your hole and onto his balls, then the seat you're both on. Your legs slowly release from his grip, as he pulls your collar to make you face him, as his tongue meets yours in a soft and sweet last kiss.

"Well everyone, I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did." Aventurine says, before turning off the stream.

whimsic4alwasab1 ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.

[ventismacchiato]

RAFAYEL HEADCANONS

canon complaint, established relationship

sorry guys, can u tell i have a favorite

matching everything. phone charms. earrings. nails. socks. you name it, he’ll buy everything in two.

begs you every other day to get a matching tattoo with him. he’s even drawn up multiple designs for you to choose from and will keep asking you until you eventually agree, how could you refuse?

hates cats, says he’s allergic (he’s not) but will run out the room when your cat walks in when he’s staying over. one time you asked him to feed it when you were away on a mission and you watched through your cat cam as it took him fifteen minutes to get the bravery to even get five feet near your cat.

so very chronically online. he’s a certified yapper. you’re his only follower on his private twitter and best believe he’s posting every single thought he has, and he expects you to reply to every single one. also asks you to match profile photos, but he has commitment issues so you guys change them almost every week.

you usually wake up to at least one voice note from him, minimum of five minutes long. you got used to playing them as podcasts as you got ready for work.

honestly he already probably gets his nails done, but will let you do them for him. more so force you, he’s lazy. but if you like to have yours done he would be able to do the prettiest designs for you.

aquarium dates are his favorite, no need to get a guide because rafayel will talk your ear off the moment you’re inside.

boy who cried wolf. fakes being sick for your attention so much so that you don’t even believe him when he actually is. not until thomas tells you that rafa has been whining about missing you in bed.

clearly has abandonment issues and gets upset when you don’t let him know where you are or if you’re okay. he’ll show up at your apartment the few times you pass out from a mission and forget to reply, ready to be mad at you. but the moment he sees your wounds and tired eye bags he loses any ounce of anger he once had.

love language is quality time, doesn’t matter what you’re doing as long as it’s together. he’s the type to tag along when you need to go grocery shopping or pick up something. he just likes to be beside you.

he is a brat, so he’ll laugh as he watches you struggle to carry all the groceries back inside. but it’ll only last a few seconds before he scoops them from you. if you guys go to a carnival together his immediate thought is to win every prize there. it’s only when he’s sucked the poor booths dry is when you have to tug him away.

claw machine dates are weekly and mandatory, but if you think you’re getting a turn think again. he gets too into it and forgets to share. you’ve come to learn you just need to pry him away from it

always follows the sidewalk rule but in return will make a big deal out of you opening doors for him since you’re his bodyguard. he’s the girlfriend in the relationship fr

that’s not the entire time though, when it’s just you two and he’s all worn out from being annoying all day his tone will go softer and his gaze warmer. he loves you he really does he just showcases it weirdly

constantly asking, morelike begging, you to stay the night. even if you have work the next day he says he needs you to fall asleep. it’s happened so many times you eventually brought one of your uniforms over and some clothes so you could spend the night and still go to work. it’s hard not to give in to him.

loves pda. if it was up to him he’d have his hands on you constantly. will get sulky if you don’t hold his hand when you go out.

much like xavier i don’t think he would enjoy working out. but if you need to go to the gym to train he’ll sit on a yoga ball beside your treadmill and talk your ear off. he’ll spot you on the machines but won’t go near anything. he will offer to sit on your back as you do push-ups though. you decline.

nsfw

probably a switch but after seeing his tipsy invitation and ebb and flow scenes he’s giving he prefers to be on the bottom. probably bratty at the beginning but according to the cards he gives in pretty easily, letting mc tie him up and referring to you as master likeeee. i feel like he just wants you to enjoy it more than he wants to enjoy it. gets off at seeing you get off type of deal.

he’s giving pillow princess vibes but if you ask he’ll give you the same treatment but tease you the entire time tbh he’s sooo bratty but i can’t see him being a hard mean dom. like he’ll give into you but make you work for it. edging kink all the way

“hmm, should i stop? i can’t let you finish this quick.”

“wow i didn’t know you were so sensitive here.”

“i haven’t even used my fingers yet and you’re already this wet.”

100% down to try any sex toy can you imagine him buying some sort of tentacle dildo as a joke cus he’s a mermaid but then you end up actually using it on him one night

[lustlovehart]

since reqs are still open i have a thought,,,,

scara/wanderer falling in love with reader all over again after he forgets them and everything else after the attempt of becoming god feel free to ignore those

A/n: For the sake of this request, he forgets who he is for months instead of just a day.

Summary: He’s had no name for so long, maybe his salvation is the voice that has remained in his head. Though, it seems that voice has turned to reality.

Warnings: Told from his perspective, Wanderer without his memories, but bonus is when he does get them back, Spoilers for Sumeru, Scara wants to kill Dottore, Jealousy, Kinda corny

Puppets are meant to have strings, and yet he is forced to lift his limbs on his own. Puppets have puppeteers make them do what they must yet he has to think for himself.

It makes sense, yet why is he left to walk without a purpose.

It feels like he's forgotten something from his past, yet there is no past for him to remember.

"Kuni... Have you... that isn't my... Huh...? You're just embarrassed I... pictures... Didn't hide... Okay... Think it's sweet... from you...!"

It's like his brain only had memories of some broken past he could no longer recall. Yet, he still finds some worth in the broken words that echo in his head.

"Uhm sir...? Can you please hand me that sunsettia? I have the Mora for it."

His trance is quickly dissipated as the voice in front of him is sounded. It feels familiar yet he doesn't have it saved in his brain.

"Huh...? Oh sure."

With no sure background on himself, nor any real idea of how he came to be, he's stuck working many jobs. His finger tips quickly brush against the hand in front of him, it felt like static rushed up to his chest, though he lacked a heart it felt as if there was one there.

"Thank you, I'll be taking my leave, so, have a good day." Familar...

"Sunsettias and Bulle fruit are kinda different huh? In fontaine, there's this certain candy made out of it, have you ever had it Kuni? No? I'll bring you some when I go back! You wanna come too...? Wha?! Don't act like you didn't say that! Hey don't walk away from me!"

Before he could reach out and ask for your name, you had already walked away from him. It didn't feel like the first time it had happened either.

A week later, all he could remember was that single interaction. His fingers still tingling whenever he remembered you.

It's as if he had some third sense for you, the moment you step into the bazaar his eyes quickly looked toward the direction you had cam in from.

"What is your name" his hands cling onto your wrist, even though you weren't planning to leave any time soon, almost like he felt as if he let go you would disappear once more.

"Wha...?" You're still not too caught up in what it is exactly he's asking so your don't answer, only quirking your eyebrow at him.

"Name?"

"Mine? It's [Name]...?" He quietly whispers it under his breath, like a mantra, a prayer. When he says your name again it's like it melts off his tongue.

Like you belong there on his lips.

"Am I in trouble? I promise i didn't steal anything from the stand sir!"

"What? No no, It's not that." He pauses before he speaks, a little hesitant while he thinks of his wording to dish out, how does he ask without coming off as weird? "I think... You're... You seem familiar."

"Hm? Well I do get supplies here often so maybe that's it-"

"Can we have dinner later?"

"Wait wha? Well, I mean we can, but I only know you as the vendor here, so that's kinda sudden is it not...?" He takes what you say into consideration, but only shrugs his shoulders.

"It probably is but, I wanna talk to you more." He couldn't let the opportunity slip between his fake fingers, for such a long time since he had awoken, it's like your voice had been in his head for such a long time.

No, not like... Your voice has been with him.

------

Months had passed by in such a hurry, yet he still had no title to go by. He didn't have anything attached to his person, so he told you the name he remembers feint whispers of.

"Kuni...?"

He can tell in your expression the name is familiar on your tongue, but does not hold any memories in your head. He doesn’t mind though, it's nice to hear you adress him, even if if the name you speak isnt one he remembers.

It doesn't take long before occasionally meets up turned into daily hang outs. There wouldn't be a second where you two weren't attached by the hips.

The two of you sit on the highest branch of the tree located at port ormos, your head rested on his shoulders while the wind calmly brushes by the two of you.

"Kuni." He doesn’t give you an answer but you can feel his eyes bore into you.

"I have to leave next week. Something urgent came up and… My job needs me to leave sumeru for some time, i’m not sure how long though." His expression doesn’t give too much away, but when you lift your head to look at him, the slight squint in his eyes is all you need to know he’s upset by it. “Don’t give me that look, it probably isn’t gonna be for more than a month anyway so i’ll be back soon.” He turns his head away from you, presumably to hide whatever look he has splayed on his face.

“Don’t be like that, besides, it’s my birthday soon. It’ll give you time to prepare for when I get back.” He still doesn’t answer you. A sigh leaves your throat before your hand reaches up to his face, pulling it closer to your lips as a quick peck is placed on his cheek. It’s enough to stun him a bit, watching his brain short circuit in real time while a smile cracks on your mouth.

“What would you want anyway? You’re not too open about your wants.” It’s nice to know he cares. Though you don't give him a straight answer, once again deciding to mess with him.

"Who knows, maybe I want you-" it doesn't take long before a palm pushes your face mid sentence. "Wha?! I was gonna ask for food."

With the way his face is turned, you'll never notice the way his face is warmed. He's sure if he had one, his chest would be beating sporadically.

He hopes the two of you can last.

------

Bonus:

It had been awhile since he had last seen you, 2 weeks maybe? At the time, when you had told him on your little date, he didn’t think much of it, he had only the memories of the clothes on his back to stick to, so he really believed it was for a simple job.

But with his memories back, he knows what your "job" truly is. Formerly, you were his assistant back in his harbinger days, but now that he is no longer the ballader, he can only seethe in silence at the thought of you being a differnt harbingers aid.

He might even go insane if he finds out you're to be working under The Doctor.

God Forbid, he finds out that man has been messing with you, he'll gladly become a god once more if that means he can protect you, or better yet, destroy him.

Instead of his hiding spot being a place to relax, he's now left with the thought of Dottore in his mind, it makes his hands curls into balls, grassblades ripping apart at how tight he's clutching his fists, he's sure if he was human there would no doubt be blood pouring out-

A sudden weight had jumped on him from behind, arms quickly tightening around him, a familar head coming into view.

"I finally found you." His eyes are right in front of your own, like your eyes are locked onto his and he can't look away from you. "I was worried, about you, ever since I had come back yesterday, you weren't at the usual spot."

Of course he wouldn't be. He had finally remembered his past sins, he no longer felt worthy enough to lay by your side.

But he still had some sense to at least protect you from the shadows.

"I just felt like changing the scenery is all."

"Hm? You've never wanted to do that before. Did something happen?"

His fingers... His fake fingers, tightly grip onto your very real arm.

"Maybe I've grown a hatred for doctors, is that not reasonable?"

"Huh...?? It's certainly random to change a spot for that reason that's for sure."

"If a certain doctor had any copies of himself, I would've loved to rip him to pieces."

"Okay future serial killer..."

He doesn't answer, maybe... Maybe it's best you don't remember his past atrocities with him.

"Perhaps you're one too [Name], who knows, maybe you're just as bad as me."

Your head leans forward, resting your chin on his shoulder while he talks.

"If that's the case, we really are meant to be huh?"

He let's a laugh escape his throat, not the usual one he lets out, filled with joy, it's filled with something more sinister, menacing? Yet it's still filled with some love for you.

"Yeah, that might be why we're together again."

"Again? Did you date a doppelganger?"

"Just sit down."

" Oh wow, that's some new attitude."

---

Wanderer before he got his memories back would probably be really awkward so I tried to incorpate that. (I wrote this really sporadically, so there's probably a lot of mistakes and really rushed I'm so sorry 😔)

[technicallyimportantsweets]

Horny Yuna

A/N: Just some random thought that was floating around my brain. Btw this is set when boys like you was made.

Warnings: Smut, Masturbation, Mommy Kink, abs riding, a teeny tiny bit of exhibitionism

Yuna’s POV:

It was another day of filming. So tiring. Promotions, dance practise, recording, photoshoot. All to make our boys like you song inspired by Taylor Swift. (Imagine seeing her in person it would be such a dream) Sometimes it’s so overwhelming being an idol, yes I do really love my job making midzy’s so happy but our work hours are hectic and unpredictable. We could be scheduled from 8 am all the way to 10pm and other days we have nothing on. Today we were lucky as all we had were some vocal recordings to do in the morning and dance practise for an hour as the dance isn’t to hard we just had to be synchronised.

“Yuna come on our driver is here.” Lia called.

“Yup I’ll be there soon.” In my usual excited tone. I finished the last touches of my makeup and left the dorm to join the others outside.

Our manager sat in the front seat chaeryeong and Yeji in the next two seats near the windows. And then me, Ryujin and Lia squished in the backseats.

We arrived at the studio in no time. The car ride totally wasn’t chaotic Yeji, lia and I were totally not belting our hearts out doing karaoke. Chaeryeong decided to scroll through social media and Ryujin took a nap which is impressive through all the noise.

( I don’t think people want more story bits so imma just cut to the smut )

It was Ryujin’s turn and boy I never thought I could get so turned on from those lyrics, it made me fantasise so many things while i waited for her to finish.

Well, you must be goin' crazy Thinkin' I'll be back, I'm sorry 'Cause you're cryin' like a baby But do I look like your mommy?

Yea you do look like my mommy and I am would be your best baby. I really want her long fingers plunging into my cunt that is dripping with need. Not sure if the lyrics are true but if you don’t like boys Ryujin I’m always here to be yours and only yours. I grinded slightly on the corner of the red couch I was sitting on hoping it would elevate the heat I was feeling but it only intensified.

Sigh what am I thinking i excused myself to the bathroom splashing water on my face. I really don’t want to mess up our friendship we even have so many years on our contract so if things ended awkwardly I would still have to see her everyday. God damn Yuna she thinks of you as a sister you even have the same last name for heavens sake.

( time skip )

After practising the dance I made the fatal mistake of looking towards Ryujin’s direction. Her abs glistened with a sheen layer of sweat her slightly below shoulder length messy hair. Oh how i would give anything to ride those abs. Ahhh why am i suddenly thinking so many dirty thoughts about my member.

“Unnie can we go home now?” I whined to Yeji the ache in my core being insufferable.

“Sure, but are you feeling ok? Your face is a bit red and your squirming a lot.”

“Yea I’m good just a bit under the weather.”

“If you say so.”

( At the dorms )

I bolted inside my room locking it as fast as possible throwing my outfit and under garments somewhere. Taking my fingers and plunging them immediately into my pussy dripping with arousal.

I turned on some fan cams of Ryujin and got to work.

Others POV:

“Do you think Yuna is ok? She has been acting odd all day and she ran straight into her room.” Chaeryeong commented.

“ I’m not sure but should someone check in on her?” Lia asked

“Ryujin”

They heard Ryujin’s name being called from Yuna’s room. Perhaps she needs medication or water.

Ryujin cautiously made her way over to Yuna’s room seeing what she wanted.

Ryujin POV:

Did I just hear Yuna groan? Is she ok? Is she that sick? I rushed to her door only to find it was locked.

She really sounded sick so I took my lock picking set out to pick her lock. What if she had fainted in there and hit her head? I had to at least make sure she was doing alright.

I was in the middle of picking her lock when I heard her moan Ryujinnie Mommy please… F-Faster. I definitely now had an idea what had occupied her mind all day. I was very flattered that, that someone was me. I now was really turned on and Yuna needed to fix the problem she started plus she sounded like she was having a little difficulty pleasuring herself so why don’t I just go in there and help her a bit.

“Oh you wanted me to go faster huh? What was that you were calling me, mommy?”

3rd person POV:

Yuna was shocked trying to pull a blanket over her as quick as possible hiding in embarrassment. Ryujin had seen it coming and immediately pulled the blanket off her. Revealing Yuna’s puffy flaps coated in a thick layer of cum and arousal.

“It’s not w-what it looks like unnie.”

“Are you sure because I came in here to help my baby and for her to get her mommy to a climax as well.”

Yuna was at a loss of words

“How does that sound” Ryujin said with a smirk

Yuna was still shocked and could only nod her head quickly in agreement. She never thought she would get another chance to indulge in her fantasies. She pulled down Ryujin’s clothes so fast it could beat an Olympian. Throwing Ryujin’s clothes somewhere she got to work on Ryujin’s pussy giving it a few kitten like licks. Then plunging her tongue in to the older girl. Ryujin produced some very unholy sounds that were music to Yuna’s ear. Determined to hear that sound from her unnie again she plunged her fingers in and sucked on her bud creating double stimulation.

“Yunahh— you ahh better not— stop mmmh.”

Ryujin’s sentences were barely coherent but they got the message along to Yuna. She picked up her speed and eventually was rewarded with a sweet sticky substance that she tried to take as much of it in her mouth but ultimately failing with some dribbling down the sides of her face.

“Unnie you good?”

Ryujin just laid there thoroughly fucked her eyes screwed shut panting not moving an inch.

“Sorry for being a bit greedy but woah Yuna mmmm you make me feel soooooo good”

“I didn’t  even know getting eaten out could feel like that” Ryujin slurred almost as if she was drunk

“Sorry to assume but you haven’t had sex yet im your first?!?”

“Uhm… no?” Ryujin’s voice came out quietly embarrassed that she had blurted out her secret that she was planning on taking to her grave.

“You give off such a girl crush vibe I just kinda assumed you’ve done it before if it makes you feel any better you’re my first as well.” ‘But definitely not my first sexual encounter I’ve been preparing for this day for ages’ Yuna added in her head.

“Being an idol has kept me pretty busy”

“Anyways my darling what is your first fantasy that you would like to fufill” Ryujin grabbed a magic wand like thing from a box nearby and waved it around in the air as if she was casting a spell

‘Fuck why the hell did ryujin pick up that and why does she look so innocent does she know that she’s holding a dildo?’ 

‘I wonder what this button does? And why does Yuna look redder than a tomato is that even possible?’ Ryujin thought 

‘I mean it’s probably just some lights right?’

Yuna quickly took the wand from Ryujin’s hand while she was inspecting the button and shoved it under pillow and switched positions with ryujin. Thump! Ryujin landed harshly onto the bed she didn’t even have the time to realize before she found a Shin Yuna grinding her pussy down onto her flat stomach.

( Authors note: idk how you guys do it with those fancy software thingos to do the text stuff but imma just be creative bare with me 😭)

 🌷🍓Flowering Strawberry 🍓🌷 = Lia

🌿🍵 Sleepy Matcha Lover 🍵🌿 = Ryujin

✨👑 Baby Princess 👑✨= Yuna

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛ = Chaeryeong 

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭 = Yeji ( sorry guys ik the username sucks )

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛: Does anyone else think ryujin has been in Yuna’s room for an abnormally long time?

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭: Maybe they’re fucking

 🌷🍓Flowering Strawberry 🍓🌷: Maybe you just have a really dirty mind and ur just upset cause u haven’t been fucked in a long time 

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭:  Nuh uh

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛:  Guys I’m sure they are responsible enough to not be doing that

 🌷🍓Flowering Strawberry : But what else could they be doing tho? 🤭

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭:  Says the one who bought a face roller in the shape of a dick 

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛: Yea but I was responsible with it wasn’t I?

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭: Sure sure if being responsible means sticking it up your pussy to see if it would fit 

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛: Nuh uh I never did that 

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭: 🙄

 🌷🍓Flowering Strawberry 🍓: Enough of this shenanigans even though I was a part of it we should probably go check in on them. 

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭: You sure about that? I can hear Yuna’s moans bouncing off the walls and they sound borderline pornographic and I don’t want to walk in on that.

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛: Unnie 🤣 I see you sitting by their door literally getting off from hearing their moans 

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭: Meanie 🖕why did you rat me out 

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭: Well since Chaeryeong ratted me out I’m bringing her down with me did you know she keeps a journal of at times in mv’s and videos we look the most sexy/ fuckable?

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛: Unnie you meanie I’m not ur fan anymore hmph.

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭: Noooo cherrryyyy 

🍭🧁 Sugar-holic 🧁🍭 deleted a message

🐈‍⬛🖤 Yuna’s Cat 🖤🐈‍⬛: fine ur forgiven 

🌷🍓Flowering Strawberry 🍓: We going in or no?

[vasyandii]

I love how just stupidly gorgeous AM’s bothers are ((I LOVE YOU RAM and SAM))

May I ask a few questions?

Do they have any hobbies?

Are they’re any spare parts if something breaks?

What’s their favorite color?

Would they look the same if they born human?

What’s their mindset like? Mentality ya know

:3 hope this isn’t too much

Howdy Anon, I'm glad you like their designs they're such bastards I love them. Thank you for the ask! :) 💞

Do RAM and CAM have hobbies?

Think of them as the two evil (I say evil but when has any corporate man been good?) CEOs of a corporation, but their corporation is the colony.

After the initial transfer of their consciousness along with repairing their bodies from literally exploding, they kind of.. lost the drive to want to torture humans because technically, they ARE humans now (Read more here). They luckily didn't have to learn to get used to senses since those bodies have been in use before.

To combat boredom, they released the 700 other bodies in cryogenic vats after some time. Why not? They basically run the place now, the colony is similar to earth, with some limitations. So running the Lunar colony is kind of like their shared hobby. It's busy work and it keeps them sane.

RAM has a lot more hobbies than CAM, always proactive, too many to list. CAM is work oriented to the point he NEEDS to get a hobby, but he enjoys cooking and drawing.

Are there any spare parts if anything breaks?

Yes and no, it honestly depends on each brother. RAM's legs can be easily interchanged and fixed because CAM was the one who designed them and humans do have Prosthetics similar to such. There are less components to RAM's body to worry about other than his ribs and ears.

CAM's jaw, while removable for cleaning, will be a PAIN IN THE ASS to replicate:

1. RAM was the one who designed the jaw.

2. It's made to specifically fit CAM's face, there's a lot of components that can fall out if neglected.

This goes the same with his arms (also removable but it hurts a bit more, plus it doesn't need to be cleaned so it stays in place.) specifically the hands since there's so many parts to account for, like each digit on his fingers, if they're bending correctly, etc.

What's their favorite colour?

"Black. "

"Neon anything."

Would they look the same if they were born human?

Who's to say? People don't usually know what they'll look like before they're born. If they were born human, that would imply that they would have parents, and then those parents have parents too! We can't really know for sure what they'd look like if they were born biologically human since both RAM and CAM chose their bodies, y'know? It's all a gamble. But let's hope that they do, because they're handsome :).

What's their mindset like?

RAM is extremely hedonistic. He's far more laid back than AM and CAM but also a lot more impulsive. He buys what can be bought because money means nothing to him, he sleeps around, he works out, he drinks, he smokes, he eats, he is ROWDY! His earthly experience is all about just having fun and occasionally checking in to work.

CAM has to keep his younger brother in line, they have a colony to run. CAM's never had so much fun just existing, he'd be devastated if it failed. He is so so stressed and tired all the damn time because of it;

"Samson, Yarek ran the car off into a ravine",

"Samson, my neighbors hate me" ,

"What? No we don't hate them, Samson!"

"Samson, the oxygen barrier is broken on the northern side of the moon."

"oop, nevermind it's actually on the southern side, sorry Samson."

"SHENGLI CAN YOU DO MY PAPERWORK I'M GONNA GO ON A DRIVE"

"SHENGLI, NOW DONT BE MAD, BUT I MAY HAVE DRIVEN THE CAR INTO THE POOL AND NEED YOU TO FISH IT OUT. NO I DON'T TRUST THOSE FLESH BAGS TO DO IT!"

"Samson can we grow corn?"

"Samson we don't want corn anymore."

He smokes often.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading! I'd be happy to provide clarifications if needed, feel free to ask!

[eventinelysplayground]

This is my entry for @judejazza 300 follower event Invitation to Crown. I haven't read any translations for the game or anything so I am just going off of the info about the characters that has been released in english so far and what I've seen of them in others routes. Time will tell how in or out of character this fic is but it was a fun ride. I chose the prompts linked fingers and dressed in love. The cats curiosity seems to be rubbing off on you causing you to pay a visit to Crowns resident physician. SFW, tiny bit suggestive WC 1178. Crown banner from @natimiles.

Almost Caught.

“You need to be more careful, lil lady.”

“I know and I'm sorry for making extra work for you Roger.”

You walked behind Roger cradling your left hand and chastising yourself as he gathered up his supplies. You're normally not so careless or curious but…

“I think Liam's curiosity is rubbing off on me.”

You were mumbling that to yourself but Roger let out a chuckle.

“Well I definitely don't need another curious cat to treat now, come ‘ere.”

Roger patted a spot on his desk he had cleared off and you blinked at him.

“You don't want me to sit in a chair?”

“Nah the closer you are to my height the easier it'll be to dig ‘em out.”

“Okay.”

You walk over to the desk and sigh. You aren't sure you can get up using only one hand. Just as that thought passes through your mind big warm hands grab you by the waist lifting you up and setting you down on the desk. You feel your cheeks starting to flush and you breathe out a sigh of relief as Roger lets go of your waist.

“Thanks.”

Roger shoots you a mischievous grin as he takes your left hand in his.

“Don't mention it, now let's take a closer look at this.”

Roger began examining your palm while his thumb slowly caressed your pinky. You tell yourself to calm down, that he’s just taking a look and nothing more is going on here.

“I don't think I've seen so many splinters at once before. Looks like most of them are big enough though this shouldn't take too long.”

“Oh...”

You can hear the disappointment in your voice and grimace internally.

“No need to sound so disappointed I-”

“I'm not disappointed! You must be hearing things.”

“Hehe if you say so little lady, now hold still for me.”

Roger's thumb gently wraps around the tips of your fingers holding them in place. He picks up a pair of tweezers and carefully starts pulling the splinters from your hand as you watch in rapt attention. You notice his gaze although serious is soft and your heart skips a beat every time you feel his thumb caress your fingers as he holds them still.

Deep breaths, he’s just doing this so he can get the splinters out.

As the last splinter was pulled out Roger looked up at you. His eyes were shining and when he smiled at you it became impossible to look away from him. Your eyes locked together he gingerly runs his fingers over your palm and you swallow hard.

“Well, thank you for taking them out. I promise to be careful in the future.”

You pull your hand away and go to hop off the desk but Roger grabs you by the waist and holds you in place.

“Whoa not so fast there, I still need to clean and dress your wounds.”

“Oh, no you don't have to I mean I've already interrupted your work enough-”

Roger's warm hands move down to grab your hips. He pulls you closer to him and presses his thigh between your knees.

“What kind of doctor would I be if I let you go before I finished treating you.”

Your heart's beating so loud that even without his curse you're sure Roger would still be able to hear it.

“Okay.”

Calm down, just calm down. You heard him, he's just doing his job as a doctor, nothing more.

Roger flashes you a grin as he lets go of your hips and picks up a bottle and cloth. He takes your left hand in his again and despite your earlier warning to it not only does your heart not calm down it beats even faster.

“Something else bothering you? You seem flushed and your skin feels pretty warm.”

“No just the splinters, everything else is fine!”

Your voice came out an octave or two higher than you intended it to and Roger chuckled.The iodine stings as it hits your skin causing you to suck in a sharp breath.

“I’ll be done before you know it.”

You let out a sigh and a silent prayer for your heart to please just listen to you. As you finish praying Roger puts down the cloth and grabs the roll of gauze. His skillful fingers move quickly as he wraps the gauze around your hand tying it off with a neat and sturdy knot.

Phew, now I can just go to my room and have a heart attack in peace and quiet.

Just as you thought you were free Roger kisses the palm of your hand before lacing your fingers together.

“What are you doing?”

“Just finishing up the treatment. There's no proof a kiss has any effect on the healing process but no harm in being thorough.”

Fingers still laced together Roger twists your hand and plants a kiss on the back of it before he pulls you to him.

“Though are you sure you're alright? You're even more flushed than earlier and your heart's beating out of control.”

“I…”

Your eyes meet Rogers and reflected in them is your own yearning and desire. It's clear to both of you that each of your feelings have evolved into something more. You close your eyes in anticipation of the kiss you've waited so long for. You feel his hot breath against your lips but instead of a kiss you get a growl.

“Damn it.”

Roger pulls away from you before lifting you off the desk and crossing his arms across his chest.

“Come back and see me tomorrow and I'll redress your wound for you.”

You're about to ask him what's going on when you hear footsteps on the stairs followed by familiar voices.

“Hey Roger?”

“Ya I heard you, sit down.”

“Oh, we didn't know you were busy.”

Harrison reached the bottom of the stairs first followed by Alfons who despite bleeding from his arm smiled at you mischievously.

“We're all done here, the lil lady just got a few splinters in her hand.”

“Oh really?”

Alfons took a seat on the chair and started taking off his jacket while Harrison leaned against the baluster.

“Yes I was just a little careless that's all, that looks pretty bad though.”

“This is nothing. Are you sure you're alright though? You look absolutely flushed.”

Alfons grin widened making you blush even more as you walked towards the stairs.

“I'm fine.”

“That's a lie.”

Now Harrison was the one with the huge grin on his face and you raced up the stairs as fast as your legs would carry you before you died of embarrassment. You heard their laughter floating up behind you followed by a sharp hiss as you ran out the door.

Back in the lab Alfons was glaring daggers at Roger who just shrugged.

“I had to disinfect the wound.”

“By pouring the whole bottle on it?”

“No, the whole bottle was for interrupting my hunt.”

Alfons just groaned and Harrison shot Roger a knowing smile.

“Cheer up doc, there's always tomorrow.”

[kestisvrse]

headcanon collection: dating cam cameron

♫ - new romantics by taylor swift

(slightly suggestive at the end?)

· belly or jere introduced the two of you

· instantly drawn to each other (or atleast he is to you.)

· even if you were a party person, if he ever was at the same one as you you found yourself escaping to a quiet place with him

· if you were in the same school i imagine him always leaving little notes in your bag or locker

“you look pretty :)”

“i like that colour on you”

“hang out after school? □ yes □ no”

· study buddy, also how you got to know him better and what led him to even asking you out

· he loves when you talk about your interests, he just stares in awe and nods as you speak

· he goes over to your house one day while you were baking cookies and that just becomes your guys thing, always baking together

· meaning cliche movie flour fights, all. the. time

“we need to start keeping track of the winners”

· STARGAZING.

· like i swear if the skies are clear he is asking you to go on a walk or drive to look at the stars

· as you get closer and he gets a bit more confident he definitely gets touchier

· he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything so its always subtle

· shoulders pressed together, knees hitting or your fingers interlocking

· you’re cold? he will give you his hoodie

· if he doesn’t have one on him he will immediately go and buy one it doesnt even matter

· i dont see him owning many hoodies, but he definitely owns less when he starts dating you because he keeps giving them to you

· having them returned to him awhile later because they ‘lost their smell’

· he will fall asleep if your hands touch his hair in the SLIGHTEST

· ok exaggeration but seriously playing with his hair is actually his favourite thing ever trust

· not big on nicknames but would probably drop an occasional “babe”, “angel” or “sweetheart”

· but saying that, he loves when you call him nicknames, like will melt at anything you call him

· so if you had asked to call you a nickname he definitely would do it more often

· not big on pda, minimum he has to be standing next to you, holding your hand or resting his hand on your back, he’ll place a quick kiss to your lips or forehead but not often

· he makes up for it when you’re alone, taking every opportunity to show you how much you mean to him

· for some reason i just imagine like, your first kiss being underwater

· like you’re both pushed into the pool and while under the water just say fuck it and lean it

· even if people are around, it’s just so in the moment

· as much as he loves staying in, cuddling and watching a movie, he LOVES taking you out on dates

· it doesn’t have to be public, he likes bike rides or picnics, scenic things he gets to experience with you

· makes you playlists

· like he doesnt just update one, he’ll make a new one every few months, or ones for certain moods

· you’re sad and he can’t be there? he makes you a playlist of songs so you can think of him and hopefully feel better

· the BEST at comforting

· he’ll listen and only give advice if you want it, or even if you don’t want to talk he is there rubbing your back or tracing shapes on your hand to calm you down

· he like is definitely secretly easily jealous

· like you would never be able to tell if he was, and he would never tell you

· unless it’s someone like, touching you or obviously flirting with you, he will immediately have his arm around you hoping they will get the hint

· but usually he hates getting jealous, especially if its just a friend or he is misreading it

· so he stays silent because he trusts you and know you wouldn’t talk to or encourage anyone trying to get with you

· even while dating he still does the note thing, this time scattering them around your room, in your draws, placing them so you could keep finding them for months

· definitely has a million photos of you, and has a problem with printing them off and putting them everywhere around his room

· he’s absolutely WHIPPED for you

· he loves putting his hands under your shirt onto your waist, feeling how warm you are as you blush

· nose kisses.

· i don’t think hickies happen a lot

· like he loves kissing your neck but he never leaves a mark

· but occasionally slip ups happen, and he’ll feel so bad but you don’t even care, because it shows everybody that you’re taken

· i don’t think he would be a huge fan of you kissing his neck

· probably tickleish so he ends up squirming and giggling

· he likes when you kiss his face though, it doesn’t matter where, he just loves it.

[ofliterarynature]

TBR TAKEDOWN: Week 13 (Aug 25)

TLDR: I have too many unread books, and I’m asking tumblr to help me downsize. Pick one or none, and comment if you can - a convincing sentence is worth a dozen votes! You’re also welcome to just choose the one that sounds the worst :D Book descriptions below the cut, see my pinned post for more info.

Artemis by Andy Weir

[For reference, I *did* like The Martian but did *not* like Project Hail Mary]

Jasmine Bashara never signed up to be a hero. She just wanted to get rich.

Not crazy, eccentric-billionaire rich, like many of the visitors to her hometown of Artemis, humanity's first and only lunar colony. Just rich enough to move out of her coffin-sized apartment and eat something better than flavored algae. Rich enough to pay off a debt she's owed for a long time.

So when a chance at a huge score finally comes her way, Jazz can't say no. Sure, it requires her to graduate from small-time smuggler to full-on criminal mastermind. And it calls for a particular combination of cunning, technical skills, and large explosions--not to mention sheer brazen swagger. But Jazz has never run into a challenge her intellect can't handle, and she figures she's got the 'swagger' part down.

The trouble is, engineering the perfect crime is just the start of Jazz's problems. Because her little heist is about to land her in the middle of a conspiracy for control of Artemis itself.

Trapped between competing forces, pursued by a killer and the law alike, even Jazz has to admit she's in way over her head. She'll have to hatch a truly spectacular scheme to have a chance at staying alive and saving her city.

Jazz is no hero, but she is a very good criminal.

That'll have to do.

The Probability of Miracles by Wendy Wunder

Dry, sarcastic, sixteen-year-old Cam Cooper has spent the last seven years in and out hospitals. The last thing she wants to do in the short life she has left is move 1,500 miles away to Promise, Maine - a place known for the miraculous events that occur there. But it's undeniable that strange things happen in Promise: everlasting sunsets; purple dandelions; flamingoes in the frigid Atlantic; an elusive boy named Asher; and finally, a mysterious envelope containing a list of things for Cam to do before she dies. As Cam checks each item off the list, she finally learns to believe - in love, in herself, and even in miracles.

A debut novel from an immensely talented new writer, The Probability of Miracles crackles with wit, romance and humor and will leave readers laughing and crying with each turn of the page.

Merchants of Culture by John B Thompson

For nearly five centuries, the world of book publishing remained largely static. But at the dawn of the twenty-first century, the industry faces a combination of economic pressures and technological change that is forcing publishers to alter their practices and think hard about the future of the book.

John Thompson's riveting account dissects the roles of publishers, agents, and booksellers in the United States and Britain, charting their transformation since the 1960s. Offering an in-depth analysis of how the digital revolution is changing the game today, Merchants of Culture is the one book that anyone with a stake in the industry needs to read.

[feeder86]

Acting Out

Cam could definitely say he’d given it his best shot. After years of dreaming about being a star, he’d packed up his things and headed straight to Los Angeles at the age of eighteen. He’d been convinced that he could make it; that he had what it took - even his high school Yearbook had said so. When he got the commercial job, he’d been sure that it was the start of big things for him. But that was six years ago now.

Fed up of living in a dump and barely making enough from working in a trashy downtown bar, Cam had finally decided that enough was enough. There was always going to be someone better looking than he was; someone more talented and versatile. It was time to admit defeat and head home.

Cam had been surprised by how many of his old high school buddies had wanted to meet up for a drink upon his return. Everyone had seen the commercial he’d done and, for a small town like this, Cam realised that, in their eyes at least, he’d made something of himself during those awkward early years of adulthood.

“So what’s your plan now you’re back home?” Fin asked, as the conversation remained steadily focused on Cam.

Cam shrugged. “Get a job, I guess. Start trying to work my way out of my folk’s place.” It was something that was easier said than done. He’d not paid all that much attention in school and had since breezed from one bar job to another, never picking up much in the way of experience or skills. 

“That home decor place by the old quarry is looking for someone,” Daz jumped in. “I saw a sign up in their window.”

“I hardly think Cam wants to spend his time just selling bathroom tiles,” Fin countered, as if he was trying to protect Cam’s imaginary celebrity status.

“Isn’t that where Kirk Ploughman works now?” Bill asked with a smirk.

Cam’s mind whirred into life at the mention of the name. He hadn’t thought about Kirk in years. The guy had been high school royalty, with his tall frame and built, lean, muscular body that seemed a biological impossibility for someone who was just eighteen. When he’d run with the football, guys didn’t want to go in for that tackle. But he hadn’t been all that interested in school and, consequently, Kirk had shared many of the same classes with Cam; though neither of them had ever really taken the time to get to know each other. Still, he’d been great eye-candy back then. “Kirk Ploughman?” Cam asked, feeling the familiarity of that name as it rolled off his tongue. “He still lives in town? I thought he’d have been signed up for some big football club by now?”

Cam had no idea what it was about what he’d said that had been so funny, but suddenly everyone around him had burst into fits of laughter. “Kirk Ploughman?” Bill echoed, chuckling. “A professional athlete? Geez! You can tell you haven’t been back here for some time!”

“Why?” Cam asked, feeling completely lost as the laughter continued rolling around the room. “Did something happen?”

“Kirk started to put on a little weight after high school,” Fin explained over the chorus of laughter.

“A little weight?” Bill retorted. “Now that’s a fucking understatement! Every time I see the guy he’s gained about fifty pounds of fresh blubber!”

Cam blushed. He both loved and hated tales such as these; ones where high school jocks became consumed by their own gluttonous appetites and started to balloon. There was something so erotic about it. They were fantasies he’d jacked off to his whole life and developed into a kink that he just couldn’t seem to shake off. Even now he could feel his dick hardening.

“Oh, I see him all the time down the supermarket,” Vinny added, pulling a face of utter disgust. “You only need to take one look in his shopping cart to see why he’s probably close to five hundred pounds now.”

Now Cam’s dick really did pulse and stiffen. Kirk Ploughman, a five hundred pound superchub? It was like the ultimate fantasy. It was all he could do to resist the urge to ask if anyone had a picture.

“Yeah, I don’t think you want to be stuck working with Kirk,” Bill finally summarised. “I don’t think the fat fuck gets off his ass much to do anything around that place. You’d probably have to do his job as well as your own.”

The seed had been sown. Cam knew he’d need to go and enquire about the job tomorrow; even just for curiosity’s sake. The erotic images he had of Kirk in his mind right then were just too enticing to ignore.

The store was every bit the small town cliché. A little bell rang as Cam opened the door and he had the sense that the place was waking up from a late morning nap. He looked around, spotting an older guy at the counter and headed straight over. He’d begun by asking about the job, and the man, calling himself Bob, had seemed so relieved that someone was in there asking about the position. Cam soon found himself agreeing to a paid trial shift right there and then. For the next two hours, he’d learned almost everything there was to know, while only a handful of customers came in to interrupt them.

“Our busiest days are at the weekend,” the older man explained. “The other regular guy who works here is… Well, you get used to him. I sold him part of the business a couple of years ago when I wanted to step back from it. However, I’m not quite sure how up for it he really is.  Anyway, you’ll be working with him a lot.”

“You mean, Kirk?” Cam asked. “I knew him in high school.”

Bob seemed relieved that he didn’t need to go on explaining about Kirk. He’d taken an obvious amount of care with the words he had chosen to desscibe Kirk and tried to phrase things with such diplomacy, it was like he had been put on trial. With that done, he simply shook Cam’s hand. “Welcome to the team!”

As Cam started work early the next day, he found the vibe of the store very much changed. Rock music was blasting from the back room and, with only half the lights switched on, the store seemed oddly disorientating. He shouted to the back, not wanting to progress behind the counter right away and potentially startle whoever was on the shift with him that day, but there really was no choice. He stepped gingerly into the little room at the back, where the loud music was coming from, only to see a very large, spherically shaped guy snacking from a tall stack of buttery toast he’d just made himself and slurping on a can of soda.

So engrossed was he in his breakfast, the guy had yet to notice him and Cam simply watched as the enormously fat man demolished a slice of toast in seconds. It was Kirk, even under all that fat, there was no doubting it. He’d grown a thick, stubbly beard that failed to conceal the fact that his neck was no longer visible. All traces of the jock physique had gone and Cam found himself almost swooning as he surveyed the size of the guy’s blubbery chest and nipples. Still, it was his gut that was the main event. So round and ball-like, it sat in his lap, filling most of it with ease. And those ginormous, doughy arms, that had once been so strong and muscular, now strained the fit of the already tight work shirt Kirk was having to wear.

“Hello,” Cam waved, using his arms to grab Kirk’s attention, realising that he had to stop silently standing there like some sort of creepy stalker.

Kirk raised his eyebrows and looked over. He nodded and pushed the remaining half of one of his slices of toast into his greedy mouth, put his plate down, and then carefully lowered the volume of the speaker.

“You’re the new guy?” Kirk asked. Already his tongue was licking his lips like he wanted another slice of his toast. Still, he squinted at Cam and then finally raised his gigantic body up. “It’s… Cam, right?” he considered, as if he had lifted the name up from the bottom of a very deep well.

Cam outstretched his hand and reintroduced himself, surprised at how buttery the palm of Kirk’s large hands actually felt. It hadn’t taken long for them to get the small talk over with and it was immediately clear that Kirk didn’t have the same fascination about his life in LA as everyone else he had met so far. Cam knew he’d gone a little far, choosing a job simply because he’d been turned on by the thought of working with such a superb specimen of ‘ex-jock’. But now that he was here and Kirk was standing in front of him in all his lardy, five hundred pound glory, he realised that he really didn’t want to be anywhere else.

“Oof! Check her out!” Kirk whispered slyly, later that day. He nodded his head towards a very large woman, probably twenty years older than both of them, pulling a face that immediately spoke of his attraction to her.

Cam looked over at the big woman, hardly believing that Kirk, the sexiest guy in their high school, who had dated every hot girl in their class, was now checking out such a plain, obese woman in her late forties. “I take it you’re an ass man then?” Cam simply replied, seeing the enormous butt on the lady as she turned around.

“I do like some junk in the trunk,” Kirk nodded, fixated at the sight of the massive glutes. Then, for the first time in at least three hours, the man picked himself off his extra large chair and started striding over, his chest puffed out, ready to help the new customer. 

Cam felt his dick harden for the hundredth time that day. Kirk’s own ass was so wide and thick as he headed over to the big lady. But something about seeing Kirk getting aroused had also turned Cam on; like it was an enticing window into the ex-jock’s mind.

“She’s married,” Cam grunted as he returned a couple of minutes later. “I saw the wedding ring. Lucky bastard!” he went on, throwing himself back down into the aching, tortured chair. Then, he simply reached under the counter to the mini-fridge he’d set himself up with, and took out another can of soda to crack open.

Cam slowly started to realise why everyone he had spoken to about Kirk regarded him with such disdain. The guy simply had no matters at all. He was a slave to his own appetite, constantly grazing throughout the day and throwing out large, guttural burps, no matter how many customers were wandering about in the store. Cam could also have counted on a single hand how many times the man had gotten up off his chair; lazily sending Cam as often as he could.

Not for the first time, Cam found himself wishing that he could rid himself of his strange infatuation. Why did he find Kirk’s gluttony, slobbishness and lazy work ethic to be such a turn on? It wasn’t normal! Yet, he knew for certain, there hadn’t been anyone in his entire life he’d had a crush on like this. Five days into his new job and Cam knew he was absolutely lost to it. The amount of calories he’d seen Kirk take down had been out of this world, and he came, thinking about just that, within five minutes of getting home each night.

It was easy to see why Kirk kept a plentiful stash of soda cans in his little fridge at work; with faulty air conditioning, the place could start to feel uncomfortable very quickly. But he was also generous to share them out with Cam. The days could be long and boring when fewer people came into the store. Kirk’s interests lay more with the online aspect of the business, which he himself had initiated; explaining that there was a surprising amount of cash to be made in selling on discontinued lines that were hard to come by. Kirk could buy and sell thousands of dollars worth of tiles without even having to get up off his wide rear; it was an enterprise that was bound to keep the business afloat for many years to come; even on those slow days in the store.

“Here,” called Kirk, sliding a can of soda down the counter to Cam. “Have another one. You need a sugar boost. You’re looking tired.”

Cam nodded and popped the can open, taking a long slurp. Kirk was right; hot, stuffy days like this tended to leech all the energy from his body as he looked at his watch and saw that he still had another four hours to go. There was just something about the building; the enormity of it and the stale air inside. Kirk offered him one of his doughnuts and Cam took it gratefully, already starting to feel a little perkier. “Any collections you need me to get ready?” he asked Kirk, checking on the online orders, desperate for something to do.

“Maybe later,” Kirk replied dismissively, taking a large slurp from his own soda and then cracking out another, after a long, drain-like burp. “You should listen to this…” he went on enthusiastically, clicking for a song to play on the computer. Kirk was passionate about his rock music and Cam was slowly acquiring quite an education about it all; especially after Kirk had downloaded some tracks for him to listen to at home. “Pretty good, huh?” he smiled as the heavy drums came into their own. 

Cam had to admit that he quite liked Kirk’s taste in music and the pair of them sat there for the next hour, playing track after track as the large box of donuts slowly diminished.

“So, what’s it like working with Kirk?” Bill asked a few weeks later, as Cam met up with some of the guys once again. 

“Well, Kirk pretty much runs the place; so it’s more like I’m the one working for him,” Cam clarified. 

“I bet it’s a complete shit show if Kirk’s in charge!” Vinny joked. “My sister had to coach him through algebra back in high school. He’s not exactly the brightest crayon in the box, is he?”

Everyone laughed, happy to mock Kirk, just like last time. It made Cam’s jaws clench and his teeth start to grind in frustration. Kirk’s rapid weight gain since high school had left him exposed to unjustified assumptions about his intelligence from everyone else. “Actually, Kirk’s business model is very successful,” he countered. “Some days, Kirk can make more cash sat on his butt than you guys make in a month. He’s even buying more of a stake in the business, so he’ll be the majority owner.”

It was hard for the guys to think of a witty retort to the revelation that Kirk did have some business sense after all, but they soon managed it. Cam was relieved when the conversation finally turned away from the subject of his new boss. He swallowed down his third beer and burped to relieve the gas that had quickly built up in his stomach. The others laughed, but looked at each other, seeming perplexed to see their suave LA buddy showing such a blatant lack of manners. It made Cam blush slightly, thinking to himself: had he been spending too much time in Kirk’s company?

Cam had received more shifts at the store than he had been expecting. During the week, it was pretty quiet, but Kirk seemed to like the fact that he could concentrate on the online sales, without customers getting to him. For the most part, it was easy money; despite the long hours. Kirk was decent company and he didn’t mind closing up for an hour or so as they went for lunch somewhere. Kirk always paid, as his way of knocking off some tax for the business. It meant that Cam was slowly building up a little pot of savings, ready for him to rent his own place. Living with his folks had been a welcome relief after struggling for years in LA; but now he was more than ready to move on. Not least because of the tightness he was starting to feel in his clothes as he dressed for work each day. His mother’s home cooking had always been a comfort, but without a gym subscription or the metabolism of a teenager, Cam slowly felt like he was constantly bloated. It was mortifying. He’d met up for some fun with a guy a few nights earlier who had directly called him out on it, claiming that he looked much ‘chubbier’ in real life. Chubbier! Really? Back in LA, he’d had to work hard to maintain his image, always waiting for that big break just around the corner. Had he really let things slide that badly since he’d come home?

“There’re some fresh pastries in the back,” Kirk pointed as Cam arrived at work the next morning.

Cam had bought some more relaxed pants for work but his mom had obviously shrunk them, trying to help him with his washing even though he had asked her not to. They pinched into his hips, making him grumpy as he helped himself to a couple of the pastries. What a waste of money buying these pants had been!

“What’s got you in a mood this morning?” Kirk asked, spotting Cam’s frustration as he wriggled to get comfortable in his restrictive pants. 

“I need to get out of my parents’ place,” Cam huffed. “They mean well but… fuck! I need my own space!” he sighed, reaching under the counter to help himself to a cool soda from the small refrigerator. He cracked it open and chugged it like an ice cold beer after a long day of hard labour.

“I know that feeling!” Kirk nodded. “I moved out not long after high school. I just needed to feel more in control of my own life,” he went on, placing both of his hands on the shelf of his giant stomach and watching as Cam took large bites out of his pastries.

“Do you still do much with your family?” Cam asked, realising now that Kirk had never mentioned them before.

“Not really,” Kirk replied. “My dad really wanted me to take the football thing more seriously and when I told him I was bored of it and preferred eating cheeseburgers instead, he never quite forgave me. I knew I had to get out of there if I was ever going to have the sort of life I really wanted for myself. They actually moved out of town about four years ago.”

“Ouch!” Cam responded, feeling bad for his friend. “That must have been rough?”

“Nah,” Kirk replied dismissively. “It’s awesome, not having to worry about their looks of disapproval, seeing them around town.” One hand rubbed against his belly as if it comforted him. He stood, getting the box of pastries from the back room and plopping them down on the counter between them as the two men prepared for another quiet day.

“Hey, Bob, do you have any more work shirts in your van? My mom has done my washing again and…” he raised his arms to show how short and tight it had become, “...she has a tendency to shrink stuff.”

Bob didn’t do many shifts, and even fewer where he was paired up with Cam, but he looked at the fit of Cam’s shirt without any hint of humour. “I’m sorry, I should have warned you about Kirk,” he sighed. “He has a habit of doing this.”

“Doing what?” Cam asked, starting to search for the box of shirts himself.

“If Kirk offers you food, just say no,” Bob stated with absolute certainty. “I’ll find you a new shirt for now, but…” He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “He does this every time. He starts putting a little gut on all the guys who come work here,” the older man grumbled, shaking his head in disapproval. “Kirk is a lovely guy, don’t get me wrong, but his sense of humor is warped. Just be aware that he’s more than likely getting some sort of weird thrill out of playing with you.”

Cam’s eyebrows furrowed. “I’m not quite sure what you mean?” he asked, despite already starting to feel his heart racing with inexplicable adrenaline.

“Don’t get me wrong, I think the world of Kirk. I was friends with his grandfather back in the day and I’ve known him since he was a little boy. But how does a strapping football athlete from a good family suddenly get a giant, fat belly like that on him?” he asked, pointing at the enormous, empty chair where Kirk usually sat during his shifts; the lower cushion flattened into a dish shape by the huge heavy rear. “We watched it happen when he was nineteen. He was such a good-looking boy, but folks in town said he was stuffing himself like he actually wanted to get fat! And he was dating these really fat… and I mean FAT women,” he repeated for emphasis, holding his short arms out almost as wide as they would go. “Believe it or not, that massive chair was what he asked his family to get for him for his twenty-first birthday. And he’s spent the last few years eating as if he’s actively trying to outgrow it. Have you heard the way it creaks now?” he asked, shaking the tortured frame of the chair. “Before he went into a home, his grandfather asked me to take him on here; see if I could sort him out a bit and give him some stability. But…” he pointed again at the empty chair, “...I think what the people in town said was true: he wants to be fat. And I think he gets off on seeing it happen to other people as well.”

Cam’s dick was tingling in his pants and he knew that he’d need to sit down pretty fast. The idea that Kirk enjoyed being fat wasn’t a complete surprise, but the thought of him getting some sort of erotic thrill out of pushing extra calories on Cam was a strangely arousing prospect. He snuck off to the bathroom fairly soon afterwards and just gazed at himself in the privacy of the mirror. How long had it been since he’d allowed himself to properly appraise his reflection like this? But now that he was looking, it was obvious how much his middle had been thickening. Was it Kirk who had convinced him that it was his mom shrinking his clothes in the wash? Cam hadn’t given that idea any consideration at all. It had been a lie; a cunning lie, implanted into his head as Kirk brought in more and more delicious treats as the weeks had gone on. Had Cam… had he actually been… fattened up on purpose?

The next day, Kirk was already back in his seat, with the early morning radio blasting out before the doors officially opened. “I was in the mood for muffins this morning,” he stated casually. “Help yourself.”

Despite how foolish Cam felt, the sight of Kirk never failed to take his breath away. That handsome face, all bloated with the lard he had packed on since high school. Thinking about Kirk deliberately fattening himself had supercharged Cam’s libido yesterday and he had come five times, alone in his bedroom, just imagining it.

“Aren’t you going to have a muffin?” Kirk pressed a few minutes later when Cam had simply sat himself down without heading into the back room. “I’ll get them for you,” he offered helpfully, picking up his gigantic body and squeezing by, into the backroom. “Enjoy!” he smiled, throwing the box down by Cam’s side.

Had it not been for the conversation with Bob the day before, Cam knew he would have picked up at least two muffins without a second thought. Now, he knew he needed to sort himself out and not be taken in by Kirk any more. But his mouth had been filling with saliva since the moment Kirk had mentioned them and now that the muffins were glistening in front of him, he felt genuinely hungry. Turned on by the sight of his biggest crush, Cam found his resolve wavering. He knew that he was attracted enough to Kirk that he would have shot up off his chair, climbed into the man’s crotch and sucked that massive fatty off until closing time. So, why wouldn’t he just eat a little muffin for him? After all, Bob seemed to believe that there was some sort of thrill in it for Kirk. 

Cam heard the refrigerator door opening and the crack of a soda can opening and then being placed next to him. It was all true; Kirk really was trying to deliberately fatten him up! “I think it’s going to get pretty stuffy in here soon,” the fat man stated; his chosen casual excuse for serving a sweet, sugary calorie bomb to his work coleague. 

It was the idea of playing to Kirk’s supposed kinks that finally made Cam pick up his first muffin and slurp on the soda. He wondered what it was about this whole scenario that did it for the big man. After all, now that Cam thought about it, Kirk must have spent a fair amount of money on all those casual treats and snacks for him over the last few months. Perhaps there was a slight submissive side to Cam’s sexuality; suddenly wondering how he could play his part in Kirk’s twisted games; to entertain and arouse him. Just the thought of creating even the tiniest twitch in Kirk’s dick sent Cam into a tailspin of longing. He’d been so aroused since his conversation with Bob and he felt that same breathless lust within him as he took a second large bite out of the muffin, already finding his other hand preloading the next sugary treat. “These are good!” he exclaimed, speaking with a full mouth, just as Kirk always did. He noticed now that Kirk was watching keenly as he ate. Had he always done that? The sensation of being watched now seemed to ignite a spark of sexual energy in Cam and he soon found himself taking down that second muffin, followed by a third and, inexplicably, a fourth as well; all washed down with a second fresh soda, supplied to him by Kirk. He burped, letting it all out and enjoying the fact that Kirk didn’t bat an eyelid.

“Are we closing at lunch again today?” Kirk asked. “It’s Friday and I’m sort of in the mood for burgers and fries.”

Cam glanced down at himself, suddenly finding that that tight pinch of his pants and strange fit of his work shirt had become a source of a strange eroticism for him. He nodded. The way he was feeling right then, he would have eaten anything Kirk asked him to.

Getting out of the shower a few weeks later, Cam wiped off the steam from the mirror and took a hard look at himself. He’d spent years developing his chest muscles in LA, but even with all the protein shakes and supplements, he’d never had a thick little tummy like he had now. He could see the build up of fat, deepening his belly button and swelling around his waist, creating love handles for the first time in his life. He thought about what his LA friends would have said if they saw him like this, or the notes he would have received from casting directors if he went into an audition looking like this. He probably could have allowed that shame to have spurred him on to do something about it, were it not for the immediate levitation of his dick, knowing exactly who was doing this to him. He spun around, looking in the mirror at how his love handles pitched and bulged as he did so. He stared at his glutes, once so pert and beefy, but now oversized and obviously swollen with fresh blubber and jiggly from the lack of exercise. Was the weight spreading into his thighs too? That was new. What would they have described this as in LA? The dad-bod? He definitely now looked like a guy who was more into his food and sitting on the couch, rather than one who frequented the gym. He took his hand to his dick, knowing that he’d never get any peace until he drained it again; staring with a mixture of shock, disgust and awe at his own reflection.

The comments soon started cropping up as Cam entered his eighth month of being back home. Despite multiple payments he had made, the interest rates on Cam’s credit cards were starting to bite and, despite all the hours he was working, Cam felt like he had very little to show for it. Cheap sweatshorts became his new best friend for work, but he didn’t have much cash to replace anything else. His old shirts still hugged nicely against his arms and chest, but their tight fit left him exposed to criticism about how rounded his middle had become. His dad had even offered to pay for a gym subscription for him, but when would he ever have the time for that? It seemed like a good compromise; still getting to overeat for Kirk, but at least maintaining a bit of control about how he looked by working out at the gym. Yet, Cam resisted, simply getting harder and harder the longer he allowed his current sloth-like lifestyle to continue.

Cam got very used to seeing those faces from high school he’d long forgotten about. He was surprised how fast their full names came back to him. He saw a young couple coming in and recognised the girl as being one of the cheerleaders from back in the day: Sadie Parry. She walked hand in hand with a strapping, athletic-looking guy, wandering the aisles.

“Didn’t you used to date her?” Cam asked, turning to Kirk, sitting engrossed in the computer screen.

Kirk looked across the store, making his old chair scream, just as the couple came back into view for a brief moment. A vague recognition then relaxed Kirk’s face of concentration. “Probably,” he shrugged. “I dated a lot of that crowd in high school.”

“You don’t even remember?” Cam laughed.

Kirk shrugged. “I was with a lot of girls in high school. It was the expected thing in the football team.”

“Oh, how awful for you!” Cam joked. “All those hot girls lining up for you like that!”

Kirk looked over at the couple with disapproval. “Well, it made me realise one thing: I knew I didn’t want to be stuck the rest of my life with girls like Sadie Parry. I bet she makes that guy absolutely miserable if ever he misses a gym session. Appearances are everything to girls like that. Check out the handbag and shoes.” With that, he picked up a doughnut from the tray in front of them and bit into a full half of it. “No thanks!” he finally huffed.

“I know what you mean,” Cam agreed. “LA was completely superficial like that as well. Everyone had to look a certain way and, in the end, you just get so sick of it. Coming back here has really helped me see that.” He too picked up a doughnut and took a bite, but had to put it down when Sadie and her boyfriend came wandering over.

“Do you do these in another colour?” she questioned, holding a tile sample. “Oh.. wait. Cam?” she asked, taking in his face. Her eyes travelled up and down his body. “I saw you in that commercial a few years ago. I hardly recognised you,” she stated, with her eyes fixed on his budding paunch.

“Yeah, I moved back here a few months ago,” Cam mumbled as he saw Sadie’s eyes find the half-eaten doughnut on the desk beside him.

“We all thought you were going to be a real movie star,” she went on, in that slyly obnoxious way that was all coming back to Cam now. “Now you’re here, obviously eating far too many crappy doughnuts and working in a dump like this.” Her boyfriend was standing beside her, but she clearly didn’t think enough of Cam now to introduce him. As for Kirk, she didn’t even bother looking at him. “So, do you do this in another colour then?” she repeated, holding the tile up once more.

Incensed, Cam picked up the sugary snack beside him and took a giant bite. “No,” he simply stated, ending the conversation flat and staring at her as he chewed.

Seeming to sense the slight, Sadie turned, put the tile down on the nearest shelf and led her hapless boyfriend out of the store.

Kirk broke into a roar of laughter as the door closed behind them. 

“Your exes are bitches!” Cam joked, still standing up from the subtle confrontation. “I think I just got fat shamed!” he chuckled in disbelief.

“I think you might be right!” Kirk agreed, sliding over in his chair to give Cam’s think rump a pat. It was an odd thing to do, but the sensation of being touched, however innocently by Kirk, made Cam’s heart race. “You handled her perfectly though. I was so proud!”

“Yeah?” Cam asked, enjoying Kirk’s praise.

“Of course!” he smiled. “I’m delighted with my little apprentice.” They held a stare for a moment, then as Cam sat himself back down, he saw the tray of doughnuts being gently pushed in his direction; letting Cam know that it wasn’t the running of the store that he was being trained in.

Cam’s supposed Holywood status had long since worn off in town, which had been a welcome relief. He didn’t really have the cash to go out drinking when the guys asked and it eased his finances when the invitations became fewer and farther between. Kirk had given him one of his old games consoles and was lending him a few titles. Having never really been much of a gamer growing up, Cam found his new hobby strangely addictive. Sometimes, on the days he was not working, he could go the entire time without leaving the house. Shamefully, he could feel his ass spreading as he sat up in his bed, snacking on whatever he had found in the refrigerator. His body shape was changing yet again. Another layer of fat seemed to be spreading across this body, softening him up a lot more than before. He could feel the blubber on his pecs and arms, and was becoming quite used to the mass of a small gut starting to creep out in front of him. He’d had no choice but to use some of his pay on some larger clothes; with the elastic on his old underwear finding the changes to his body particularly stressful. His family didn’t waste time trying to be subtle about how fat he was getting. His mother had even stuck pictures of him from a couple of years earlier on the refrigerator; a tip she had picked up from daytime tv that was supposed to make Cam think twice before he went raiding in there. She couldn’t possibly have realised that the actual effect was the complete opposite. Just like the memory of how fit and muscular Kirk had once been added to Cam’s attraction to him, so did the thrill of being reminded about his own transformation, building into an arousal that he couldn’t quite put into words. He’d certainly never imagined himself getting to two hundred and forty pounds after maintaining a sleek one sixty-five his entire adult life.

Cam put on his new favourite shirt and stared hard at the little round belly it still showed underneath. Having been invited round to play games at Kirk’s place that night, he knew that he wanted to look good. He’d pictured Kirk’s apartment for so long and he was genuinely surprised when the reality matched up almost entirely with that vision in his head. Kirk cared little about tidiness. Clothes and junk littered the floor and the big man had to add even more to it as he cleared a space on the couch for Cam to sit down. Forgetting the pizza they would be ordering later, everything they could possibly want was on the coffee table: beers, chips, doughnuts, candy bars. It was exactly the sort of life Cam had pictured Kirk settling into. They’d often ordered pizza into the store at lunchtime, so it was no surprise to see the way Kirk stacked the slices up and gorged; however, it was no less erotic to see each time.

“You can see why I haven’t invited you her until now,” Kirk pointed around at his apartment. I moved in when I was nineteen and never really got into the idea of keeping the place tidy. I need a new chair as well,” he grumbled, reaching forward for another beer and hearing his tortured armchair groan underneath his heavy form. “I fritter most of my cash away each month, on takeout, music and games.”

Cam tried to ignore how turned on he felt, sat next to a bundle of enormous Kirk’s dirty clothes. He wanted to hold them and marvel at the great expanse of material that was needed to clothe the ex-football star’s body. “Have you always lived her alone?” he asked, knowing that Kirk had had at least a few girlfriends in the last few years. 

“A couple of girlfriends lived here in the past,” Kirk nodded in a noncommittal manner. “Never for very long. Those abs I had in high school disappeared pretty quickly once I moved in here.” He sat up more, as if he was energised by the conversation. “The girl I was with at the time couldn’t quite believe it. One minute she was dating this muscular athlete and the next, I was this doughy little pig. I gained one hundred pounds in the first year I was living on my own!”

Cam nodded knowingly. He knew the feeling, having gained almost eighty pounds in the last fourteen months. He pictured Kirk in those early days of getting fat and his dick pulsed down in his crotch.

“I tried dating some larger women in my early twenties. Some people don’t mind that I’m fat now,” Kirk went on. “I was in a long-distance relationship with a girl from New York a few years ago. She was really into me, but the attraction wasn’t quite there for me, unfortunately. If she’d have gained a few pounds with me, I think she would have looked a lot better. But she was dead against that idea and, in the end, the distance got the better of us.”

“So, you’re just into chubby girls?” Cam asked him, having always been intrigued by Kirk’s sexual tastes.

“Fat, not chubby,” Kirk corrected him, as if that distinction was of the utmost importance to him. “Someone like me.”

“I’m not sure that exists. I think you’re just one of a kind,” Cam joked.

“I don’t know about that…” Kirk grinned. “I can think of at least one person who is very similar to me.”

Cam blushed, sensing that Kirk was actually talking about him. They’d finished gaming and sat, nursing their beers contemplatively. The beer was giving Cam a little courage, so that when a question popped into his head, he suddenly found it rolling off his tongue. “Did you get fat on purpose?” he asked. “Because, that’s what some people in town think.”

A massive, wicked grin filled Kirk’s face. “You really want to know?” he asked teasingly.

Cam thought for a moment, sensing that the answer could alter the way he saw Kirk forever. He nodded.

“It was the whole reason why I moved out of home,” Kirk stated frankly, sliding a hand over the bulk of his ginormous gut. “I hated my abs in high school. I hated the expectation that I had to play football just cause I was taller and more built than everyone else. I used to gorge myself all the time, but the pounds never stuck in the way I wanted. Once I moved out I was free to just stuff myself on everything I needed to grow a belly. And it worked! I quit working out and started looking chubby really fast. It felt amazing!” He lifted the bottom of his shirt and grabbed a wedge of his soft flesh, jiggling it for emphasis. “The fact that my girlfriend at the time hated it just seemed to spur me on even more.”

“Was she a big girl too?” Cam asked, not sure what to say, but desperate to keep this surprisingly kinky ramble going. 

“No,” Kirk replied. “She was just like every other person I’d dated up to that point. But, like I said, it’s FAT that gets me going more than anything else. And in those days, I was riding the most erotic wave of my life. It was only after that, when I began to feel confident as an overweight guy, that I started to look at dating other fatties. Some I was with just because I was into how much excess weight they carried, but others, the ones I was really interested in, I’d test them; see how much of a glutton like me they could be under the right circumstances.”

“And did it work?” Cam chimed in, again to keep the conversation going. He already remembered Bob telling him that Kirk had a strange fascination with overfeeding people.

“Yeah, it did,” Kirk nodded with a smug grin on his face. “I’ve gained almost three hundred pounds since high school. I know how to get someone to fatten up and push a belly on them.”

Now it was Cam’s turn to feel under the spotlight. What Kirk had said was innocent enough, but the way he looked at him and kept looking at him, it was obvious who had been the focus of his attention all these months.

“You’re welcome by the way,” Kirk smirked, taking another sip of his beer and chuckling to himself. Cam didn’t even know what to say. He sat there, dumbfounded that Kirk had practically just admitted to fattening him up on purpose. “Stand up for me,” the big man ordered; beer starting to course through his veins. “I want to see all my hard work.”

Cam chuckled, not quite believing that any of this was actually happening. But, curious to know what Kirk’s next move would be, he stood up and waited.

“Over here,” Kirk ordered, beckoning Cam closer with just a rock of his head. 

Stepping over the mess, Cam did as he was told, surprised to find Kirk’s large hand slipping straight onto his butt the moment he was within reach. But he stood there, enjoying the feeling of being touched, despite not understanding exactly what was going on.

“Ah!” Kirk marvelled, sliding one hand, then two once lowering his beer, right over Cam’s glutes. “Remember how tight and pert these things used to be before you started working with me?” he sighed with joy. “Now they’re getting so fucking doughy!”

The beer was clearly getting the better of Kirk; rather surprising considering the sheer scale of him. He slouched more in his chair and smiled mischievously.

“Yeah, well, all we do is eat at work…” Cam replied, stepping away and trying to keep things light hearted. After all, despite the odd sexual chemistry between them, Cam had to remind himself that Kirk was straight.

“Get back here!” Kirk grunted. “I want to check out the rest of you.” Then, seeing how obedient Cam was, stepping straight back, he pushed things a little further. “Take off your shirt too.”

Cam followed the instruction, only realising as he pulled the shirt over his head that Kirk was probably getting a full view of his raging hard-on pressing up against his pants. Even so, he suddenly felt the sweaty palm of Kirk rubbing the great mass of stomach fat.

“Beautiful!” Kirk simply marvelled. “Absolutely fucking beautiful!”

Cam felt the button of his pants being released and that big, chubby hand sliding down his shaft as the fly was lowered. 

“Do you know how lucky you are? How much I would have loved to have been fattened up like this by someone when I was younger?” Kirk smirked, freely showing how much all of this turned him on.

“I’ve loved it,” Cam tried, finding his heartbeat racing as Kirk’s hand started working his shaft.

“I thought so,” Kirk agreed, slipping down in the chair even more and reaching another hand down his own sweatshorts, trying to reach his dick at the same time. “You’re turning into such a fat pig!”

Cam shuddered with lust. He’d never been sure about how he felt about being called a pig, but coming out of Kirk’s mouth, he’d never heard anything more arousing. Caught by the lust of it all, he found himself giving two little snorts before his brain even had the chance to think about it.

“Oh, fuuuck!” Kirk groaned with arousal; his enormous double chin suddenly amplified as he squinted his eyes and pulled his head back, tugging himself off under his shorts.

Cam came. He hadn’t meant to let it happen so fast, but it was all too much for him. Fast, energetic shots sprayed over Kirk’s skin tight t-shirt, all over his gigantic gut. Kirk didn’t even open his eyes, but moaned at the feeling of it hitting him, redoubling his efforts and making himself come about ten seconds later.

The five-hundred pound man sat up with a huge grin, and a little trickle of sweat travelled down his forehead. He didn’t seem to care that he had made such a mess inside his pants, but lunged for Cam’s empty shirt and used that to wipe up the fresh stains all over his own clothing.

“Hey!” Cam laughed, shirtless before the giant fat man in the chair. “What am I supposed to wear to go home now?” he asked.

Kirk scoffed at the question. “We both know you’re not going home to your parents’ place again,” he stated. “Now sit your fat ass down so we can play another game.” He cracked open a fresh bottle of beer and passed it over to Cam, keeping one for himself. They drank, eyeing each other greedily, silently competing for the longest chug. Kirk won, of course, burping like a drain afterwards and throwing Cam a pack of chips as if it was his consolation prize. Then they both sat back, settling into their futures.

Cam recalled the look of horror on his parents’ faces as he told them he’d moved in with Kirk. They knew of the great fallen football star, just like most people in town, and they didn’t approve in the slightest. But, like everyone else, they had underestimated him. Kirk’s savvy business skills had provided them with a good income, and once Bob had been bought out entirely, Kirk swiftly closed the store down, shifting the business to being online-only. Together with Cam, he’d negotiated a handsome sale price for the land and instead bought a much more generously sized warehouse, nestled within the suburbs of the new, better-connected city they would call home. 

Despite the lavish style of the penthouse apartment the two men now occupied, it was still just as messy as Kirk’s old place had been. They’d lost count of how many cleaners they’d tried to hire over the years, but it was a futile task. Who wanted to clean up after two enormously fat guys only to come back a couple of days later and see the place was in an even worse mess than before?

“Are these grey sweatshorts yours, or mine?” Cam shouted through to the living area, holding up the mass of material that had been discarded on the bedroom floor. Only as he said the words did he realise the enormity of the moment. Despite Kirk’s fifty pound lead on him, to the average viewer, Cam probably looked no less obese than his lover. He’d become so used to the contrast between them, he’d hardly noticed the gradual dimishment of their size difference. His ass was just as wide and out of shape, his gut only slightly smaller. Sure, he didn’t quite have the flabby arms and tits that Kirk had, but he sensed the twelve cartons of ice cream the man had picked up that morning were probably part of a larger plan to solve that problem. 

Realising that he was holding Kirk’s sweatshorts after all, Cam slipped them on, feeling a wave of arousal as the material fitted like a glove around his enormous hips and glutes. Not bothering with a shirt, he trotted out of the bedroom and into the living area, where a similarly shirtless Kirk was playing a game with his headphones on. So that was why the fat man hadn’t replied, Cam thought, chuckling to himself as he sat down on the couch to watch.

“Nice shorts, Fatty!” Kirk joked, clocking Cam’s new attire in the corner of his eye without even moving his head away from the screen. Once the level was over, he threw the controller down and switched the channel. “A movie and a few pizzas tonight?” he asked, knowing that Cam always went along with whatever he wanted to do.

“Sure,” Cam nodded, mindlessly stroking the huge belly infront of him and not being able to shift the semi he had from being inside Kirk’s shorts. As he watched his lover scrolling through their movie options on the screen, he thought back to his teenage years, when he would imagine himself in those huge blockbusters and the glamorous lifestyle that he thought he had wanted. He also pictured an eighteen year old Kirk in his mind; his athleticism and perfect, muscular physique; a pretty, popular girl under his strong arm. There wouldn’t have been a single person who could have guessed that Kirk had actually wanted to give it all up for a life of gluttony and sloth. And, best of all, that he would wind up taking Cam along for the ride with him.

“Pizza’s going to be here in thirty minutes,” the former football star grunted, lowering his enormous rear onto the couch next to Cam; only ever leaving his giant chair for the couch when they were both ready to settle in for the night. It had become a tighter squeeze for them in recent months and, even now, the fatty flesh of their bodies pressed erotically up against each other.

Both men smiled wickedly as they sensed this ever decreasing space on their couch; both so proud to be able to share this strange, unconventional love that worked so well for them both. They kissed, not needing to say a word as their hands began to reach out and touch the others’ giant belly; jiggling and massaging it.

“I’ve left a couple of tubs of ice cream out to melt so that we can drink it when the pizzas arrive,” Kirk explained a moment later.

“Just a couple?” Cam joked, loving how much of a bad influence Kirk was.

The larger man laughed. “You clearly haven’t seen how much food I’ve ordered you then!” He leaned in for another kiss. “In about an hour’s time, your gut is going to be tighter than ever before, and my dick is going to be so fucking hard!”

Cam smiled. Putting on a show for Kirk had always been his undoing. Seeing Kirk get more and more aroused with the greater quantities he could stuff himself with, Cam had inadvertently developed an appetite that could rival even Kirk’s insatiable lust for food. He didn’t reply to the kinky man who had fattened him to such extremes. All he did was simply give two short, quiet little pig snorts.

“Oh, fuuuck!” Kirk moaned with arousal, suddenly losing interest in watching a movie altogether. 

For both of the men, those pizzas couldn’t arrive fast enough.

[loveandleases]

How would MC's parents, Jade, Chris and the ROs react to an MC who was formerly passive and docile become the kind of person that doesn't take shit because of Jade and Chris' affair? (to the point of pushing back and actively mocking people who try and step on them)

Love this one, answer is below of course!

💩 Chris - Will automatically believe MC is just being mean. All the things, the lead-up, none of that matters to them at that point. To Chris, MC will come off as just being rude/argumentative for no reason. Going out of their way to hurt them.

☢️ Jade - First she will kind of freeze, MC has always and I mean always been there/supported Jade. She won't expect it, and when that shock value wears off Jade will be slightly worried/scared might be a better word. To see someone who has always been kind to her no longer act that way, she won't truly understand. Nor will she care to think as to the reason why. She will just think MC has changed since living with Cam, like that's the problem instead of what really is.

👫🏻Mc's parents - "Why are you being so rude? You were raised better than that. Do you realize how dramatic you're being right now? Do you want to alienate everyone from you?" (Their assholes) ❤️ Cam - Imagine Cam just in the background pumping his fist in the air. He supports this so much. While Cam is sad that MC has changed some he understands it. He is so used to being the one standing up for MC it will take him a minute to realize they don't need his help anymore.

💙G - Will be taken aback but will also laugh about it. Like expect a giggle. G is similar in a way to former MC. G will appreciate that MC is sticking up for themselves, they will respect that. Especially if they can witness MC stand up to a specific person.

💚Kara - She is slightly turned on. Kara gets why MC is no longer taking things lying down. (Unless she gets them to). She will be a bit uncomfortable depending on her relationship with Chris at that time, but she understands why MC doesn't take anything from them, so she will let MC say/do what they need to.

💛M - As someone who has bouts of anger come out, their mask slip just a little M will see how MC acts and find it slightly freeing. Even going so far to be more upfront about how they really feel, which will result in telling many to fuck off and not always wearing their nice act. Part of M feels like MC could protect them, and they love that.

💜Isaac - Not really one for drama, Isaac will be a bit cautious. Isaac doesn't do well with fights with emotions to be frank. So for them, it would take getting used to. Once they do and fully understand that what has happened has brought MC to this point, they will actually come to respect that.

🖤 Ardent - Thinks it's fucking hilarious. Loves that MC just takes no shit, doesn't care what the others (especially MC's parents) think about them anymore. Ardent will find this trait very attractive, even though he will still be quick to the draw to stand up for MC. He doesn't mind when MC can and will tell someone how they feel.

[hwnglx]

for anon with the red heart ❤️

winter's reputation among idols

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

female idols

female idols see winter as a go-getter. there is this perception of her being very charismatic, and knowing how to charm people in order to get her way. like she just has this natural appeal that she can turn on, and it can instantly get her anything she wants. they believe it can get very fake, she just plays people to her advantage in their eyes.

a lot of female idols also think she's incredibly eager, to an excessive extent. they believe she's a bit of a spoiled and entitled brat. she doesn't know how to appreciate what she's given, and therefore is never really satisfied. in their eyes winter can get selfish and harsh with her words, and constantly expects the best treatment only, because that's what she's used to. i can see many of them believing that sm idols in general, but especially aespa, have a huge advantage by being in the right company at the right time. they think that winter also benefits from that privilege, however is so deep in her delusion that she isn't aware of it.

female idols think that anyone could've gone that far if they had a big company like sm pushing them the way they do, and being so overly protective of their image. they think that she's just a great product of marketing. someone who appears to be this perfect and likable sweetheart, but is very vain and full of herself behind closed doors.

i can sense a big disconnect to a good portion of girls who look at her in a pretty prejudiced manner and judge her on a surface-level, without even getting to know her. she has an arrogant and inaccessible image, which seems to have spread throughout a lot of the community. they just form opinions on her without even talking to her personally. there's also this vibe of thinking her whole 😇 persona just not being representative of who she actually is, because she just appears too perfect to many idols. (so surprisingly similar to wonyoung) like “she's always smiling and putting on this lovely act on cam but doesn't even talk to us off camera, what a bitch.” is what it's giving. (jeez these girls are ruthless)

male idols

male idols' perceptions of winter seem to vary more. some of them seem to look at her as a genuine sweetheart, who has very gentle and pleasant energy. they think that she's someone who beyond all the gossip and shit talk, is sincerely nice. like she truly doesn't resemble the image some people seem to have of her. i can see some male idols meeting her and being surprised at how friendly and personable she is.

however, some male idols also seem to carry a sense of mistrust towards her, and i think a lot of that (plus the entirety of female idols' apparent misconception) just comes from her being very protective and distant around most people. they think she's all nice and polite when you approach her, but it's incredibly difficult to actually get close to her. she just doesn't engage in much conversation outside what is needed for professional purposes, and prefers to keep a more intimate and tight circle. there is this huge vibe of, just not really knowing who she actually is. so naturally, many of them start forming opinions and making judgements of winter based on what they think she could be, or what they want her to be. she for sure has this unapproachable and cold image to most male idols. many of them can't figure her out.

they also think that, she's just very focused on herself and her own ambitions. she doesn't concern herself with anyone else's business, because she puts much determination into herself. it's almost like, she'll engage with someone if she feels like it'll be to her advantage, but stay distant if it doesn't serve her in any way. male idols think she behaves in a very calculated manner and exactly knows what she's doing, and how she needs to act in certain instances. they think she might be hiding a lot of her more fierce and driven sides for most people not to see. there might be talks and gossip of her saying some mean stuff to people behind the scenes.

[littlewriterfullofwords]

Like a movie

Pairing: Nijiro Murakami x actress!reader

Summary: You are an actress that works with Nijiro on a new movie and both of you hide a secret

Warnings: acting and that's probably all, but if there's more let me know

A/N: Hi! I'm back with Nijior one shot. Have fun reading and let me know if there are mistakes or maybe if you want to see something specific

You again caught yourself drifting away from the book's plot you've been reading on your phone while siting on the wooden bench.

"Focus." you whispered and focused on the sentences on the screen, trying so hard not to drift away.

But the universe had its own plans, totally different from yours.

"What are you doing?" well-known man's voice startled you a bit, you turned around to see who dared to interrupt you, but when you saw a smile, you only huffed.

"Reading." you answered and a smile crawled on your lips as the man sat next to you.

"Am I interrupting?" his voice an his puppy eyes were saying he was perplexed a bit.

"No. Of course not." you ensured him with a smile and shook your head. "You never interrupt me, Nijiro."

His smile became bigger. You hardly ever used his name so it was a pleasing change for him.

You and Nijiro were actors together working on a new movie that was supposed to be aired next year. You liked working with this man, probably because he was so professional, maybe because he was a sunshine and his smile would bright up every room and every dark soul around him. You loved his bubbly personality and probably it was the main reason you had a big ass crush on him. Just as the major part of the women staff working with all the cast. I mean, who wouldn't love a man with beautiful smile, deep voice and pretty eyes.

"You know, you are a lot like your character." said out of nowhere Nijiro, his eyes were observing the falling leaves what was quite unusual, it was spring not autumn.

"Oh, thank you." uncontrollably blush came up on your cheeks. "I have to tell you are only half as your. No offence."

"None taken." Murakami chuckled. "I can even say we are totally different."

"Maybe. But he doesn't have your bubbly personality so I can say it's his lose."

______

"Okay, guys." the director called you over after recording few last scenes and gathered in a circle with other cast's members. "You all are doing great. We are going forward with the production and that's amazing and I think we will end earlier than we had thought. But let's not praise the day before the dawn, we still have work to do. You two, prepare for kissing scene."

The last words were directed to you and Nijiro who has been standing by your side all the time. You nodded and hang down you head just to hide this little smile that had had formed on your lips. You felt your heart speed up whenever you thought about the upcoming scene with your crush, not gonna lie you wanted this scene to be repeated as many times as possible even if it meant you had to make mistakes.

"Y/N, let's go." your make up artist came up and led you to her car where you sat on the chair and let the woman do her job. "I am so jealous of you. You are so close with Nijiro. And you have a kissing scene with him. You can't imagine how much I want to change places with you. You need to describe me everything after. With details."

"You got it." you laughed and intertwined your own fingers.

You were nervous yet something about Nijiro was calming even if it was only an imagination.

"Are you ready?" you came back to reality when man's voice sounded almost behind you.

"Yeah, sorry." you got up from the chair, thanked the make up artist who only smiled and you knew she was 'sending' you a message including her ask, and looked at Nijiro. "Let's go."

"Sure." the actor grabbed your hand and, with you, left the car.

And that's when your nervousness hit the max level even though you had recorded hundreds of kissing scenes in you life. Was it something about the cast watching? Or maybe the director? Or maybe Nijiro himself? You didn't know but anyway it was so stressing.

"It will okay." his calm voice by your side caused chills on your back, but also made you smile. "I am here."

"And that's probably a problem." you wanted to say, but only nodded.

"It will be fine." it was the last words before you heard loud 'ACTION'.

"Please wait!" Nijiro shouted what stopped you in a half step and made you turn around.

"Huh? What's wrong?" you asked with consternation on your face.

"You...you keep running away from me.Every day, every second." his eyes became sad, full of confusion. "Why? Just tell me why."

You chuckled and looked to the side, you locked your eyes with make up artist's who smiled at you and showed thumbs up.

"Why? You really want to know why? Okay, I will tell you." you took a deep breath and looked Nijiro in the eyes. "I love you, okay? Everyday you make me realise why I had fallen for you. And that drives me crazy. I am trying not to love you because it's not okay, we are friends, it could change our relationship. And I don't want that. That's why I am pushing you away. So please, respect that and go."

Why playing this part sounded so similar to your life situation? Maybe you weren't pushing anyone aside but you were scared that your feelings could change your relationship with them.

"How can I go when you just told me you love me?" Nijiro made a step closer, shortening the distance between you two. "You want to play with my feelings by pushing me away?"

"Play with your feelings? Don't be ridiculous, you and feelings? At this moment?" you laughed and shook your head. "You don't have a reason to feel anythings now."

"Why are you so sure?" another step and another, he was so close.

You started acting like you were thinking. Your hair fell down, covered you face, cut you out of the world and people watching your every step, every breath.

"You didn't realise, did you?" suddenly Nijiro was so close, his hand touched your chin and lifted it a bit.

"Realise what?" you asked with half disbelief half curiosity.

"Oh, dummy." Nijiro giggled and closed the distance between you two, his lips touched yours taking your breath away.

And that was where your acting ended. You forgot about your character, about the script, about the people watching...now you only had Nijiro in your mind, him and the kiss. You let him kiss you, touch you, even move you around a bit. He had so much power over you and you didn't even think about saying 'no'.

"And...DONE!" the director yelled.

Unwillingly you and Nijiro made a step back. Little smiles appeared on your lips when your eyes locked and after a second you burst into laughter.

"Guys." you both looked at the director who approached you with a smile and clapped few times. "It was perfect. It looked so natural like you didn't act at all. We need people like you two. You were perfect!"

And he walked away leaving you two in confusion, but with a feeling of pride.

"Can we..." Nijiro started talking so you looked his way, but your make up artist appeared out of nowhere and interrupted.

"Sorry. I need her. I promise I will give her back later."

"We will talk later." you promised and sent Nijiro a smile then left with the woman.

Of course she wanted to know every detail of the kiss and she was more impatient than a little kid who wants a candy. You told her that his lips were soft, he was gentle and you felt like in heaven.

"Lucky you." the woman sat on the chair and sighed. "I wish I was you."

You only giggled and shook your head. When you were sure the conversation ended, you left the car and started looking for Nijiro, he wanted to tell you something earlier.

"Are you looking for someone?" the smile crawled on your lips when you heard his voice.

"Actually, yes." you faced Nijiro and nodded. "You wanted to tell me something before, right?"

"Right." he agreed and smiled. "So..."

He took a deep breath and that made you even more curios what he wanted to say. Why did he look nervous?

"So...the kissing scene...." his hands started shaking and his sunshine-like personality disappeared instead you saw nervous Nijiro. "I didn't...um...."

"Yeah, me too." you said before he finished his sentence. "I didn't act. The whole scene...it...it was..."

"It was so real." now Murakami overtook you. "Yeah. So I think hiding it won't help anyone...especially me....I- I...."

Before he said anything more you closed his mouth with a kiss. On the one hand it felt similar to the one you had recorded, but on the other it was totally different. You felt chills going up your spine when Nijiro placed his hand on your hip and the other cupped your cheek which has been burning from the blush since the beginning of the conversation.

"I guess we now know what we are standing on." you whispered when you took a step back and smiled.

"And we needed to record the whole movie to realised that." joked Nijiro and when you hugged him, he added. "I could wait longer."

[writingwithciara]

Love Boat ~Cam Cameron~

summary: cam takes the internship on the boat but before he leaves, y/n has something important to tell him

word count: 1.4k

pairing: cam cameron x bestfriend!reader

notes: okay so cam was the absolute sweetest person ever. i saw some people looking for some cam fluff so i decided to write some. this is a best friends to lovers prompt because that’s truly the best trope

masterlist

Most people dream about owning a beach house and staying there year round but very few people actually can say that’s what they do. Y/n lives in one year round. And to her, the best part is not being on the beach. No. It’s having her best friend live close by.

Cam was one of the only people who understood her completely. Their relationship was an open book and that was something they both loved about it. It was easy for them.

The only secret that was being kept was Cam’s. He was offered a summer internship on the whale-watching boat but didn’t know how to tell y/n without upsetting her. It was the hardest thing he’s ever had to do. It became even harder when y/n came to him with tickets for a trip she wanted to take with him over the summer.

“I got two tickets for this cruise and I want to take you with me.”

“Me?”

“Of course you. Who else? Who better than my best friend?”

“I guess there’s no argument there, huh?” Cam chuckled awkwardly. Y/n looked at him and smiled. Cam loved that smile. “I got offered an internship on the whale watching boat.”

“What? Cam, that’s amazing. Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” He rubbed the back of his neck and avoided eye contact with y/n. “You realize what that means, don’t you?”

“That you can’t come on the cruise with me this summer?”

“Yeah. I would love to go with you, but this whale watching boat means a lot to me. N-not that you don’t mean a lot to me too.”

“Cam, it’s okay. I’m really happy for you.” Y/n smiled again. “You’re living the dream. Your dream. Do you understand how proud that makes me?”

“Yeah I do. And thank you for being so understanding. I couldn’t figure out the right way to tell you.”

“Why’s that?”

“I didn’t want to make you upset. We spend every summer together and I thought you would hate me for not being around this year.”

“I could never hate you, Cam. In fact, I….” Y/n paused and Cam stared at her. “Nevermind. It can wait.” She shoved the tickets into her pocket and smiled. “When do you leave?”

“I leave on Tuesday.”

“That gives us 6 days together. We can cram a whole summers worth of fun into the rest of the week. If you’re free, of course.”

“For you, I’m always free.”

“Just not for the summer.” y/n smirked and checked her phone. “Our week of summer starts at 6 pm. Meet me at the country club tonight?”

“Yeah. For sure. I’ll see you then.” Cam smiled as he watched y/n get on her bike and ride away. That was way easier than he expected it to be.

Later that night, Cam waited outside the country club for 15 minutes before y/n walked out. She had a special membership that allowed her to use the club whenever she pleased, just as long as she cleaned up any mess she made.

“Hey. What do you have planned tonight?”

“Follow me and you’ll soon find out.” y/n smirked and walked back into the club. Cam followed her out to the pool. When Cam saw what she had set up, he grinned.

“Wow. This looks so cool.”

“You always talked about how cool it would be to sit in a kiddie pool while it floated in an actual pool and look up at the stars.”

“I think the last time I mentioned that was almost 2 years ago. I can’t believe you remembered that.”

“You’re my best friend, Cameron. I don’t think I’ve ever forgotten a thing you’ve said.”

As y/n climbed into the blow up pool, Cam realized he was more than happy that she was his best friend. It made it  so much harder for him to be excited about leaving her for the summer.

Over the next few days, y/n had so many fun activities planned for the two of them. By the last night, it became clear that Cam couldn’t even leave her. It would be too hard for both of them.

The final activity was all day laser tag and the rest of the night would be spent on the boardwalk. Y/n had won 80% of the laser tag so when it came time to play the carnival games, it was Cam’s time to show off. He won all the games and gave the prizes to y/n.

“Thank you, for all the stuff you planned out this week.” Cam sipped his root beer slowly and took a bite of his funnel cake.

“You deserve some fun once in a while.” She nudged his shoulder gently and looked at the wagon of prizes. “Thanks for all the prizes, Cam. Now I’ll have something to remember you by when you leave tomorrow.”

“Okay. Like years of friendship isn’t enough?” He joked.

“Of course it is. But you can’t cuddle up to memories, Cameron. That’s why I’m going to love these stuffed animals. Each and every one of them is stuffed with fluff and the warmth of knowing that my favorite person in the whole world won them for me.”

“You’re making this so much harder for me.” Cam started, nearly in tears.

“Cam, don’t cry. You’ll be back in 2 months. It’s not forever.” y/n was starting to cry too. Neither of them knew why it bothered them.

“I know. But what if something bad happens? What if the boat gets caught in a storm or what if a shark attacks us or something?”

“Hey, you’ll be fine. I know it will be. You’re going to be the best intern out there.”

“I’m scared though. I don’t want to be this terrified.”

“Cam, they’re just whales. They’re mostly harmless so you’ll be safe. I have the utmost faith in you, Cameron.” y/n held his hand tightly. “You’re the smartest person I know.”

“I’m really going to miss you when I’m gone.”

“Like I said, it’s only 2 months. You’ll be back before you know it & I will be right here waiting for you when you return.”

“I’m lucky I got a whole ton of pictures of us in my phone to look at whenever I miss you.” Cam smiled as y/n’s hand found its way to his cheek. He leaned in to the touch as she wiped away the tears that fell.

“Look, Cam, I’ve gotta tell you something. Something serious.”

“No, don’t speak.” His hand found the back of her neck and he pulled her in slowly. When their lips met, it was sweet and gentle. Completely on brand for Cam. He let her go and she sighed.

“I was going to say that I love you and it was okay if you didn’t feel the same way, but after that kiss, I think it’s safe to say that you do.” y/n let out a shaky breath. “Do you?”

“Yes. I do. I completely do.” Cam smiled and leaned back in. He was sure he was going to collapse if he hadn’t already been sitting on a bench. “You know, I think I’ve felt this way for quite some time but I wasn’t sure. Not until I got the internship and thought about being away from you. It killed me just thinking about it. That’s why it took me so long to say anything. I didn’t want to see the look on your face when I told you.”

“But you had nothing to worry about.”

“I had nothing to worry about.” Cam smiled and held her face close before resting his forehead against hers. “I love you so much, y/n. You’re my favorite person. I don’t know where I’d be if you hadn’t come into my life 6 years ago.”

“I don’t what I would’ve done either. I thank god for you every day, Cameron. For everything you’ve brought into my life. The happiness, the warmth, the kindness, the wisdom and most importantly, the love.” y/n kissed him again. and again. and again. She never wanted to stop.

taglist: @worldlxvlys

[justallihere]

THE WAY YOU JUST DROPPED THE NEWEST CHAPTER OUT OF NOWHERE?????? EXCUSE ME ???? I was literally bored out of my mind and ignoring work responsibilities and then you dropped this? It was divine intervention.

so many thoughts so please bear with me

I appreciate how succinctly you wrapped up the Tecarus/luminary conversation. We don't need to spend unnecessary time reading more about him and his annoying niece (Cat not Syrena)

Drake fucking with Xaden has got to happen more often. I have this plot in my head, that Drake will just be "innocently" talking with Vi, and Vi knows what Drake is doing but plays along with it bc it annoys Xaden. Drake feels like that annoying older brother that just wants to fuck with the younger siblings in a good-natured way

Love me some DrakexMira moments... or well Drake staring at Mira and her not giving him the time of day. That's one of my favorite tropes ngl.

Xaden is so open and free with his smiles around Vi and I am equal parts disgusted and happy for him. I love and hate them your honor!!!!

IM SO GLAD WE GOT A SLOANE/DAIN MOMENT. Ngl I forgot abt them but when I read that part, I remembered the bit that didn't make it where Sloane was ogling Dain fighting Cam. man has a TYPE!!!! Poor guy likes her and Sloane is being a bit of a tsundere (idk if you know that term but she's being hot/cold)

I'm imagining the affronted/scandalized look on Vi's face when Xaden didn't share the tea about Dain+Sloane, meanwhile, Xaden just wants to kiss the shit out of her. I HATE THEM SO MUCH

Question: Did they have to imbue the wardstone like they did in canon, or was this assumed that it happened in the background (correct me if I'm wrong about my canon knowledge 💀)

Let me tell you, when I was screaming at poor Vi in canon when she skipped around in Warrick/Lyra's journals (I don't blame her, shes like what 21??? and stressed out her mind and everyone is also like in their early 21s) BUT I'm glad that in SITQ she started from the beginning.

The way I audibly GASPED when the guard was like "your mother is here". I was literally thinking a minute before, when the venin was threatening Violet, that theyre going to use her mother to lure her out (not that, that isn't in the realm of possibility) but I was worried for Liilth's health and safety after that threat. BUT MAMA SORRENGAIL IS BACK AND IM HERE FOR THE DRAMA.

I have this fear that Violet is going to potentially pull from the earth to save everyone.... bc that threat from the venin was ominous as HELL, but like that won't happen right?? right???????? RIGHT ALLI????

Questions

So like are we going to see Jack and Nolon make a comeback??? Bc fuck those two but if its for the plot then I guessss I can deal with it (i say this with uptmost respect and lets be real here. I will still eat up anything you post, I'm just being nosey)

are Mira and Bren going to make up? or is that like a background thing?

also will we see more of Mira and Drake (sorry i feel like im being extra nosey this time so just ignore these questions)

I gave a few hour warning this time!! I’ve been editing it for a week and I was over it lmao

Tecarus was a necessary evil for, like, one second, but Violet got what she needed and she wasn’t going to spend extra time entertaining him. And I wasn’t going to spend time writing drama with the fliers 😌

Drake is so FUNNY I love him, he’s an OC basically but if he ends up different in canon than I’ve imagined him I’m going to be irrationally upset. He’s just like “Xaden lighten up dude” and Xaden is going “please don’t ever look at my wife ever again” and Vi thinks it’s hilarious.

Mira has more thoughts about him than she lets on though 🙊 like she notices his attention for SURE

Sloane and Dain are so much fun (everyone say thank you @skyfallscotland for putting the idea in my head). Can’t wait to write more of them!! Violet is so offended though, like this is information she wanted to know?? And Xaden’s like it serves zero purpose?? Let her gossip idk

Re: imbuing yeah yeah that’s a thing for sure in canon, but I need sleep and a beta reader sooooo. . . pretend it happened at some point, I’ll go back later and add something in about that lmao 😁👍🏻

Lilith is back!!!! I have been waiting for Lilith to be back 😩 family drama next chapter, pray for Violet’s sanity. The venin are venin-ing, we gotta up the stakes a lil because we’re almost to the end

Nolon and Jack and their roles are still a bit up in the air, I’m still working out the specifics of what they’ll do. Mira & Brennan and Mira & Drake are also a toss up, but only because I want to write another one shot in this universe from Mira’s POV and I’m trying to decide what will make it on page in sitq and what I’ll save for that

Thank you as always babe!!!