#i love big ocean to death i never cringe when i look at their social media vids :')

[barbylion]

me: we need more cute boy groups!! me when the cute boy groups do aegyeo outside of mvs and choreo:

[purplesurveys]

1047

What’s the most historic thing that has happened in your lifetime? I can think of a few things. There’s 9/11 though I was barely conscious then, Osama Bin Laden’s death, the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, 2011 Japan earthquake, and the H1N1 and Covid pandemics. In my country, there were typhoons Ondoy and Yolanda, the Manila hostage crisis, and the Hello Garci election corruption scandal. Out of these, though, I’d say the heaviest ones to bear have been 9/11 and Covid.

What happens in your country regularly that people in most countries would find strange or bizarre?

We use a spoon and fork to eat and only really fancy shmancy restaurants give you a knife and a fork. Many eat with their hands as well, though this is way more common in provinces.

Everyone is late to everything and punctuality isn’t a thing, which is a big culture pet peeve of mine and I still like arriving early/on time anywhere.

This applies to Asia in general lmao, but shoes typically aren’t allowed or at least frowned upon if they go beyond the main entrance of houses.

We start Christmas as early as September, and we end it by the last week of January

When families get together, aunts/uncles will usually greet their nieces/nephews by asking if they already have a boy/girlfriend and/or telling them that they got fat. Horror relatives will greet you with both.

People generally like to keep to themselves, so striking a friendly conversation with strangers even if you have the pure, genuine intention to be simply friendly will just lead them to think you’re being a creep lol

What has been blown way out of proportion? The effects of video games and the question of it increasing violence among kids. Sure there’ve been gruesome accounts and no one’s invalidating those, but the overwhelmingly vast amount of people who play video games end up okay. I had so many killing binges on GTA but to this day I can’t even look at a real gun without shuddering, lol. When was a time you acted nonchalant but were going crazy inside? This is me every morning at work. 9 AM-11 AM is always the busiest period and it’s a lot of shit happening at the same time and a lot of morning deadlines to meet, but unlike college I can’t exactly call for a timeout whenever I want and have panic attacks anymore.

What’s about to get much better? I hope my fucking life is next in line. I’m tired of being tired of being tired.

What are some clever examples of misdirection you’ve seen? Probably all the times WWE would mislead viewers on a rumored return or debut of a big name by saying they’re in another city, implying that there’s no way they’d be appearing on a WWE show. This happened with Ronda Rousey and it was so fucking exciting when she finally showed up, haha.

What’s your funniest story involving a car? I don’t know, really...I don’t try to be funny when I’m on the wheel lol. Probably the time I let Angela use my car on campus, and when she needed to make a u-turn she ended up doing an awkward 90º turn and had an SUV nearly crash towards us. She had only driven a handful of times at that point so she was a little clumsy, but neither of us had any idea she’d fuck up a simple u-turn as badly as she ended up doing lmao.

What would be the click-bait titles of some popular movies? I can think of more clickbait posters than titles, but I can’t seem to remember what those films are called right now.

If you built a themed hotel, what would the theme be and what would the rooms look like? Themed hotels generally make me cringe. The most theme-y place we ever stayed at was the lodge in Sagada and it was really just more homey than anything. I’m not into themes when it comes to hotels as I find it a little cheap lol and I’ve always preferred a straightforward experience in the places I stay at for vacations.

What scientific discovery would change the course of humanity overnight if it was discovered? A way to live forever. < This is a good one. Also, maybe a huge asteroid or meteor bound to hit the planet that will make widespread extinction a certainty? I can’t even begin to imagine the panic that will rise from something like that.

Do you think that humans will ever be able to live together in harmony? I doubt it. It sounds difficult especially when you realize we’re 7 billion in total.

What would your perfect bar look like? As long as there aren’t any annoying younger college kids, who are almost always the loudest crowd and not in a good way, I’m okay with any kind of bar.

What’s the scariest non-horror movie? Some shots in 2001: A Space Odyssey are freaky as fuck. There were several scenes that included sudden HAL shots, and I did not enjoy those. How the fuck Kubrick managed to make a computer scary is beyond me. I’ve also always skipped the vortex scene with the creepy face shots after seeing it once.

What’s the most amazing true story you’ve heard? This is a really vague question... a few months ago I watched this video diary of parents who had a child born at like 25 weeks. Just way too early, basically. And they recorded the kid’s weekly progress, how she kept fighting, and her journey of being transported from one machine to another while she still needed them. It was beautiful to see her get bigger and plumper with each week that passed and it was just such a feel-good story to watch. I was so relieved when they showed footage of her as a normal, healthy toddler by the end of the clip.

What’s the grossest food that you just can’t get enough of? I know balut is pretty unpopular in the Western part of the world, but I’ll gladly eat a dozen of them in one sitting. In general Asian street food is usually considered gross - pig intestines, chicken intestines, chicken feet, pig ears, etc., but all are normal in the culture I was raised in.

What brand are you most loyal to? It’s annoying and I can’t help it, but Apple.

What’s the most awkward thing that happens to you on a regular basis? I try not to make it regular, but sometimes a mistake on my end will slip through in an email I’m sending and I have to send another email correcting myself and apologizing for the oversight. One of my least favorite parts about work.

If you had to disappear and start a whole new life, what would you want your new life to look like? I’m not wishing for much. I just wish it was easier to remove any trace of me on social media sites and have it be as if I never existed because I think that would make it easier for me to move on from...well, you know what. I still have trouble verbalizing it and I don’t feel like mentioning it tonight.

But idk, I like staying connected to my family and friends, so idk if I can ever achieve that. And that said, I think I’m bound to always keep seeing her around.

What movie or book do you know the most quotes from? I memorize a pathetic amount of dialogue from Love Actually, Twilight, Titanic, and The Proposal.  What was one of the most interesting concerts you’ve been to? I guess Coldplay? They gave assigned lightsticks for each section and the crowd looked amazing when the production crew activated the lights for certain songs. I still have some of the clips because I posted them on Snapchat, so I’m really glad I did that; otherwise I would’ve lost the videos forever.

Where are you not welcome anymore? I’ve felt pretty unwelcome around her. How she could do a 180 and just not be interested in having anything to do with me is really soul-crushing.

What do you think could be done to improve the media? Fact fucking check, please. Also keeping sources balanced, avoiding clickbait headlines, being more objective than neutral, and don’t fucking sensationalize. How timely that this landed on a journalism graduate, hahaha.

What’s the most recent show you’ve binge watched? Start Up but I haven’t continued in the last two weeks :/ I think it’s because I know I’m nearing the finale and I subconsciously just don’t want to run out of Start Up episodes to watch lol but yeah, I still have four episodes left and I have no clue when I’ll watch it again.

What’s a common experience for many people that you’ve never experienced? Being close with their mom and considering them as their rock.

What are some misconceptions about your hobby? I don’t know enough about embroidery to know misconceptions about it.

What did you Google last? 2001: A Space Odyssey because I needed to be sure of the scenes I planned on citing in the question above that made me mention the movie.

What’s the dumbest thing someone has argued with you about? Not being able to find a restaurant to eat at. The backstory is a little complicated but it’s the same fight that led my younger brother to slap me across the face, and what subsequently led me to stop speaking to him.

If money and practicality weren’t a problem, what would be the most interesting way to get around town? Probably a tank.

What’s the longest rabbit hole you’ve been down? It’s always the ones on Wikipedia lol. I find weird and interesting articles on there all the time; there’s always something new to read.

What odd smell do you really enjoy? The rain, though sometimes it can be too overpowering when the humidity has been high. I like it for the most part, though.

What fashion trend makes you cringe or laugh every time you see it? Streetwear is so fucking dull to me. I never saw the appeal.

What’s your best story of you or someone else trying to be sneaky and failing miserably? Hahahaha this happened just a few weeks ago actually. My parents and I were headed out to have some ramen, and I opened the car door to hop onto the backseat. They didn’t prepare beforehand and they left the Christmas gift I asked for - a corkboard - in the backseat, so I was able to see the whole thing, unwrapped and with price tag and all. Their mortified faces knowing that their secret’s been blown were hilarious. They had no choice but to just give it up, and the corkboard has been on my wall since.

If you had a HUD that showed three stats about any person you looked at, what three stats would you want it to show? I guess the stability of our relationship, their general mood for the day, and erm how badly they need a hug because I’m always willing to give some.

What’s the best way you or someone you know has gotten out of a ticket / trouble with the law? My mom fake-cries her way out and it’s always been hilarious to see a grown ass woman do it and pull it off every time.

Tear gas makes people cry and laughing gas makes people giggle, what other kinds of gases do you wish existed? I don’t really want to manipulate people’s action in this way, so pass.

[robrae-headquarters]

The Beast (Beastfire Commission)

Pairing : Beastfire (Beast Boy, Starfire) 

Word Count : 5,888

Warnings : Swearing, Implied Death, Violence, Animal Death, Near Death Experiences 

Commission : Yes! 

Description :  Beast Boy is hiding something from Starfire, and she is determined to find out. But all knowledge comes with a price.

                                                       ~ ~ ~

Beast Boy’s eyes slowly blinked open. The image of the world faded in and out of his vision. He squeezed his eyes shut and then reopened them, allowing him to see the scenery around him. When his eyes met the sight of an alleyway and not his bedroom he did a double take. What the fuck was going on. Beast Boy started to look at the area around him.

The alley was dimly lit by a streetlamp at the opening of the alley. Deep, rugged claw marks appeared on the concrete of the surrounding buildings, stopping where he stood. The entire alley was trashed, for a dumpster had been completely demolished and strewn all over the ground. Other than the trash, the claw marks, and him, the alley was empty. As he inspected how deep the claw marks went into the building, Beast Boy noticed out of the corner of his eye something he hadn't caught before. A trail of blood. A massive trail of blood, leading directly to him. 

Immediately his mind kicked into overdrive to find the wound. That was a LOT of blood and if he was that seriously injured he needed help now. His hands became cold and sticky whilst frantically checking his body for the catastrophic wound. Finally, Beast Boy concluded that he was not injured, which made him vomit on the pavement. That was not his blood. That was someone else's. There is no way in hell that person is alive now. 

“Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!” Beast Boy shouted as he punched the wall in fear, his emotions getting the better of him. His thoughts were too much in overdrive to register the pain and a small section of the building crumbled beneath his fist. Had he killed someone?? There’s no way a Teen Titan could kill someone who’s not a villain and be fine. Beast Boy was so fucked. The sound of a door opening nearby snapped him out of his panic as he realized he couldn’t be caught here. 

The green boy transformed into a hummingbird and sped away from the scene, desperate to be somewhere else. Blood dripped from his wings as he flew, causing him to cringe. He was leaving a small trail, but probably not one that could be traced. Beast Boy headed for the ocean, knowing he needed to rid of the blood before he returned to the tower. 

He flew over the ocean, letting the cold breeze embrace him before diving into the icy water, transforming into a sea otter to aid his swimming abilities. Slowly the blood washed out of his fur. The process helped calm his mind some, until a thought struck him. The Press. Holy fuck, The Press.

The Press nor the public could know of the Werebeast, who was definitely the culprit behind what he had seen. He would lose his social media following. His extra inflow of cash would be gone. His reputation as a Teen Titan ruined. They could not know one of their heroes had a dark side this bad. They could not know that he probably killed someone tonight. Beast Boy shuddered at the thought. Taking another’s life… It wasn’t something he’d ever thought he’d do. Quickly he jammed the thought down. He could not have a breakdown about it. He needed to buck up, move forward, and solve the problem. 

“My DNA shouldn’t be at the scene, I’m not injured in the slightest. The body wasn’t there… Maybe they survived?” He clung to the thought like a lifeline. 

Once his bones felt as cold as the arctic and he couldn’t take the water anymore he swam to shore and turned into a cheetah, racing home to be in the comfort of his room. This night needed to be over. He could worry about the rest later. 

***

Whilst most Titans were asleep in the tower, Starfire was not. In fact, she was wide awake. It wasn’t because she couldn’t sleep, X’Hal knows she could, it was more that she had a feeling she shouldn’t. She couldn’t quite place where the feeling was coming from. It didn’t feel like her intuition or her gut talking to her. Just this nagging in the back of her mind. Don’t go to sleep. Don’t go to sleep. There’s something important you have to see. Over and over again until she resolved to wait. And wait she did. 

Starfire overhauled her entire room that night trying to keep herself awake. Everything was neatly put away, the floors freshly clean and sparkling. She had spent hours folding and organizing all her clothes until her hands ached. All the surfaces were dusted and everything looked like it was exactly where it should be. Her bed appeared like a lush heaven to her, the silk pillowcases and plush blankets just calling her name. But, she didn’t. Instead she lit multiple candles, ranging in scents of sugar cookies to lilacs and began to exercise. 

The exercise gave her mind something else to think about besides the small mound of anxiety it was producing. She was going to discover something soon. She just knew it. It was something big, something important. She had to know what it was. Sweat started to drip down her temples as she reached the 200 sit-up mark. After grabbing a swig of water Starfire began to do push-ups. 

Starfire stopped mid push-up as the clock struck 3 am. She slowly raised herself into a standing position, every muscle in her body feeling tense. There was someone in the hallway. Cautiously she moved towards her bedroom door, opening it as quietly as she could manage. What she saw was not what she was expecting. 

There trudged Beast Boy down the hallway, one arm limp at his side and the other lightly dragging against the wall. His body was tense and he kept looking all over as if watching out for something. Starfire thought it would be best if he didn’t see her, so she ducked back every time he turned to look. His hair was damp, like he’d just gotten back from a swim. Starfire could tell he looked guilty as if he didn’t want anyone to know what was going on. 

Star closed her door and sank into her bed, nuzzling her face into her pillows before letting out a deep sigh. Slowly she relaxed her body, starting with her neck and ending with her toes. There was something going on with Beast Boy, something obviously big and possibly dangerous. Worry gnawed at her mind for the green boy, someone who she cared for very deeply. More deeply than anyone else knew. She sighed and turned off the lights, resolving to find out what was going on, no matter the cost. 

***

Just about every muscle in Beast Boy’s body ached when he awoke the next morning. Or maybe he should say afternoon, since it was around 12pm. He felt as if he’d been run over by an 18-wheeler. “So much for no injuries,” Beast Boy muttered as he dragged himself to the shower. He needed a warm pick me up after all the fuckery that was yesterday's events. 

Whilst the steamy, hot water rejuvenated his body, Beast Boy joked with himself, “If only I believed in gods, I’d probably be praying to a higher power. Not that that ever works out for anyone anyways.” Instead he put all his hopes into good luck. Maybe today will be his lucky day and everything will go smoothly. No mention of yesterday's bullshit today, tomorrow, or ever again. 

As soon as the doors opened to the common room of the tower to let Beast Boy in, Starfire was at his side. She smiled at him and he grinned back, not even having to fake it. That’s how it always was with Star. He felt good around her, always feeling like he could tell her anything. He knew he loved her. He felt that emotion strongly whenever she was around. He’d planned on confessing eventually, but there never seemed to be a good time to do so. And right now was certainly not a good time. 

“Hello Beast Boy! What a lovely day it is today! Did you sleep well?” Starfire chirped to him as he began to make tofu bacon and fake eggs for breakfast. Well, breakfast was a stretch but fuck it. 

He nodded to her, unfortunately not having the energy to speak, let alone speak cheerfully, even if it was Starfire. Beast Boy hoped she’d take the hint. She was determined though, and spoke again. 

“What are you making, friend?” Beast boy let a small sigh escape his lips before responding in the best cheerful voice he could manage.

“Brunch! Fake bakey with fake eggs!” He smiled at her as he flipped the food, the smell making his stomach gurgle.

“Oh! I love the brunch! It is both breakfast and lunch, put together into one joyful meal!” Starfire smiled as she began to gather the ingredients to make pancakes. Maybe all this talk of brunch stirred her appetite. Robin appeared at the counter, seemingly out of nowhere, gave the pancake ingredients a quick glance before settling his gaze on Beast Boy. 

“Late night last night Beast Boy? You’re usually awake early for breakfast, not brunch.” Beast Boy froze in his tracks, dropping a piece of bacon on the floor. Robin raised an eyebrow at the fumble and Starfire stopped what she was doing to watch the encounter. 

Beast Boy swore under his breath before quickly scooping up the fake bacon and depositing it into the trash. He proceeded to turn back to Robin and prepared to tell the most convincing lie he’d ever told. 

“Yeah man, the game I’ve been waiting to play for months got released yesterday and I played it for twelve hours straight last night. I do not regret a second of it.” Beast Boy pulled off his signature grin at the end to add to the credibility. 

Without missing a beat Cyborg spoke from his spot on the couch, “Yeah, sounds like classic Beast Boy. Proud of you my man.” Cyborg gave him a thumbs up and resumed his game. Beast Boy silently thanked the power of luck for Cy’s comment. His lie was foolproof now. 

Terra, who was currently destroying Cyborg at the game, laughed. “That does sound like some shit bird for brains would do. Next time invite me, I love nonstop gaming.” 

 “I’ll leave you to it then.” With that Robin arose from the counter and sat back with his girlfriend, Raven, whose nose was currently pressed into a book. 

“If you were playing the video games all night then why did I see you soaking wet walking to your room last night?” She had thankfully lowered her voice for only him to hear, but his blood ran cold at her words. Quick, think of a lie think of a lie…

“I was so fucking tired after playing and I was also disgusting so I went to take a shower before I went to sleep. Must have showered in my clothes, what a dummy.” He gave a small chuckle and waited for her reaction. She seemed to think about it for a moment before returning back to a normal, cheerful Star. 

“Ah, that makes sense. I hope you sleep better tonight friend.” Star returned to pancake making and Beast Boy let out a sigh of relief. Everyone believed him. There was no need to worry. After quickly chowing down his food he flopped on the couch between Terra and Cyborg, settling into his normal schedule. Maybe everything would turn out okay after all. 

***

Starfire was skeptical. Everyone else had believed what Beast Boy had said, but she did not. Maybe it was because she loved him, or maybe it’s because her gut had been leading her this whole time, and it had never been wrong before. But before completely jumping to conclusions she decided to converse with someone else who had once been very close to Beast Boy. 

It took three knocks until the door whooshed open with Terra standing behind it. Her face had a blank, bored look to it until she realized it was Star. Her face soon broke into a grin. 

“Starfire! For what reason do I owe the pleasure? Come to get your ass kicked at video games?” Terra smirked, thinking this visit was for fun.

“Could I come in? There was something I wanted to ask you about Beast Boy.” Terra’s face fell slightly but she nodded, standing aside to let the Tamaranian girl in. Terra sat on her bed and Star quickly spotted a bean bag chair and dove to it immediately. 

“Oh! A bag of beans in chair form! I do love these!” She smiled as the chair formed around her. 

“We totally need to order you one then, but that’s probably something for later. What did you need to ask me?” Terra’s attention was entirely on Star as she rested her face in her hands. Star grew serious instantly. The palms of her hands started to sweat, for she was nervous. 

“Do you think Beast Boy has been acting… Strange lately?” She fiddled with the bean bag chair whilst waiting for a response. 

“Not overly. Staying up playing video games isn’t out of the norm for him. Neither is fake eggs and fake bacon, or getting his ass kicked by yours truly in games.” Terra beamed, clearly proud of her achievement. 

“I suppose those are not. But what if I told you I saw him walking back to his room at 3 in the morning dripping wet. And when asked about this, his response is that he got into the shower with his clothes on and didn't realize?” Star frowned, still upset that she believed he lied to her. She was a good friend, was she not? Why would he lie to her? What did she do wrong?

“Oh. That is odd. Even for bird brains.” Terra seemed equally puzzled by this information. She stood up and grabbed a rock from her desk, making it form different shapes quickly. “Sorry, it helps me think.” Star nodded, still fiddling with the beans inside the chair. 

“Okay, this isn’t the soundest advice I’ve ever given, but ya could follow him. If you think he’s being dishonest, and he lies when confronted, then you gotta take it to the next step if you think it’s serious. Which I take it you are, seeing as you came to me about it.” 

“Yes, and I’d appreciate it if this stays between us. I do not know if this is something everyone should know about yet, seeing as even I do not know what it is.” Terra nodded immediately. 

“Of course! Scouts honor that no words will pass through these lips.” Terra held up her fingers to prove her point, producing a small giggle from the other Titan. 

“I think I will follow your advice friend, thank you for the help!” 

After saying her goodbyes with Terra, Starfire began to develop a plan.

***

Blood pounded in Beast Boy’s ears as he bounded through the sewage underfoot. He was large. He was powerful. And he was out for fucking blood. He wanted to sink his massive fucking fangs into some flesh and rip it to shreds. Destroy. Destroy. Destroy. And destroy he would. Nothing would stop him. Absolutely fucking nothing. 

His paws grew nastier as he tore through the sewers, looking for prey. Any prey would do, it didn’t matter to him. To find prey, you needed a scent, so he began to search for one. Once one was located, Beast Boy’s mouth started to water. He moves slowly at first, his nose stuck to the ground. Then suddenly he was off like a cheetah honing in on its prey. A large sewer rat came into his peripherals before it was completely obliterated.

Blood, guts, and fur went everywhere as Beast Boy the Werebeast devoured its prey. The rat let out a screech, its body torn in two. The carnage was horrible, but the Werebeast didn’t care. Licking his chops, he let out a huff. This was not enough. He needed more. He needed it now. 

It took him a while to locate a way out of the sewers. It knew that out of the ground there would be bigger prey. And bigger prey meant more flesh. The Werebeast grinned at the thought, although to anyone else it would look more like a sinister grimace. 

His paws hit grass as he emerged into the cool moonlight. He howled, low and quiet. It was a fair warning to any prey that could be around. Scared and knowing prey was always more fun to hunt than unknowing. 

The Werebeast prowled around the area, searching for a scent. He seemed to be in an open wooded area, no buildings or street lights in sight. Perfect for hunting. He searched and searched for a scent, but couldn’t seem to find one of a worthy prey. His anger rose. His claws needed things now! 

In an outburst of anger the Werebeast attacked a tree. He threw his entire body weight at it, lunging and clawing and biting at the old oak, growling until the tree toppled over. The tree cascaded into another and two resounding snaps filled the air. The sound echoed throughout the forest. He clawed the tree twice more for good measure and howled to the sky about his conquest, satisfying some of his need. 

It seemed to be the Werebeast’s lucky day, for a lone night hiker heard the commotion and couldn’t help but investigate. The Werebeast sensed her before she even arrived, and his twisted grin returned. Dinner has arrived. 

The girl cautiously moved towards the scene. She had something in her hand, probably pepper spray or a horn to scare bears off. In her other, a shaky beam of light from a flashlight filled the area. Her demeanor quickly changed from curious to frightened once her gaze fell upon the deep marks in the tree. This is not somewhere she should be, and she knew it. Fear and sweat radiated off her in waves. Waves that he could pick up on. Let the games begin. 

He intentionally snapped a twig underfoot before silently moving to a different position. The girl whirled around to the location of the noise, shining her flashlight around. Finding nothing, she sighed. “It’s probably just my imagination. I should head home…” The girl turned around and started a brisk pace out of the area, only glancing back once. 

The Werebest began to stalk her. He stayed far enough behind to give her a false sense of security. Make her feel calm before ramping up her heartbeat once more. He followed her until they were in a more open area. It appeared to be a park. There was a clear walking path, with trees spaced out and park benches here and there. He could see buildings from here, which meant it was time to strike. 

A bone chilling howl shook the night. The girl stopped dead in her tracks. She turned around and the flashlight fell out of her hand, for before her stood a beast unlike any other. A huge green beast, with massive fangs and claws. It smelled of sewage and blood. There was visible blood and guts covering the front of the creature as well as dripping from its jaws. A scream tore it’s way out of her throat as she broke out into a dead sprint. She wanted as far away from this creature as fast as she could, or she was dead. She knew it. 

While she was fast, the Werebeast was faster. He let her think she could outrun him. It would be more fun this way. Soon he tailed right behind her and knocked her form aside with his massive claws. Her body slammed into a tree like a rag doll, knocking the wind out of her. She whimpered and tried to get up, but was slammed back down by the beast. His claws raked her arms, causing her to cry out. Blood began to drip down her arm, the flesh torn wide open. The Werebeast could barely contain his excitement. 

Not wanting her to run again, the Werebeast leaned over her and set both limbs on either side of her legs. The girl struggled and screamed, which only urged him on more. An audible snap rang through the clearing as the Werebeast broke the girls leg clean in half. The girl stopped struggling. Tears streamed down her face and sobs wracked through her body.

The Werebeast backed off to admire his prey. Soon to be his kill. Once it raised itself on its hind legs, he let out the loudest and most haunting howl of the night, and went for the killing blow. Green light filled his vision and the world grew dark before his body slammed into the ground.

***

Starfire was in shock. She was going to have to battle Beast Boy. Beast Boy, whom she loved dearly. She couldn’t kill him. Please, X’Hal, don’t make her kill him. She wouldn’t be able to bear it.

The last couple hours had been a blur. She’d basically sat in the hallway outside of Beast Boy’s door, pretending to read a magazine. That way, if he left his room, she would know, and would be able to follow him. Except he didn’t leave his room. For hours. Eventually Star grew impatient and knocked on his door to see what he was doing. ‘So much for secret spy work’ she thought to herself. Maybe being direct was the better way to go about this anyways. She got no answer. After knocking a few times she let herself in. Was he just sleeping?

Except he most definitely wasn’t. Beast Boy was nowhere to be found. The only thing that left a sign of where he was was the broken glass all over the floor. Broken glass from his window, which had a giant sized hole in it, as if someone had flung themselves out of it. Why would Beast Boy do that? Starfire immediately flew through the window in an attempt to find a trail. And a trail she did find.

Giant footprints in the dirt. Leading directly to the sewage entrance. “Fuck.” She had a pretty good feeling she knew what the cause of this was. And X’Hal did she wish she was wrong. 

After entering the sewers and finding what she believed to be the trail Beast Boy left, Starfire pulled out her Titan communicator. Quickly whilst flying through the sewers she called Terra. 

“Hey girl, how's the spy work going?” She shot Star a grin through the camera. Little did she know all hell was breaking loose. 

“Terra! You must gather the team immediately and get all citizens inside! Tell Robin I fear the worst… I believe the Werebeast is back. I am currently tracking his location as we speak and I’m…” Star’s voice broke as she spoke her next words. “I am prepared to take any measures necessary to protect Jump City.” Starfire began to lose her composure so she ended the communication, knowing that Terra would do what needed to be done. 

She’d stumbled upon the scene where the rat was decimated. The sight and smell made her stomach sour, and she did her best not to lose her dinner. Still, she carried on. Star managed to follow the trail up through the sewers and into a forest before losing it. She muttered a string of slurs in her native language, cursing herself for not being able to follow the trail any longer. Panic rose in her chest, and she quickly squashed it. Now was no time for her shortcomings. 

Starfire resorted to flying above and around the forested area, trying to locate where Beast Boy could possibly be. The task was similar to the phrase ‘finding a needle in a barn’ or something to that effect. Her heart sank and her chest started to constrict once more. Beast Boy was lost and she couldn’t find him. He might even die before knowing her true feelings, and Star couldn’t bear the thought. She hurled a starbolt into the forest out of pure rage. 

At the same time she heard a loud crack. She snapped her head up and saw in the distance some trees falling. Beast Boy!! Her heart sang. She had found him! There was no actual evidence that the disruption was him, but she knew that it was somehow. She raced towards the spot, which looked to be a couple miles off. She could make that. She would make that. 

By the time she reached the destruction, there was no one around. She couldn’t give up yet. She was close, and she wasn’t going to fuck it up. Not this time. She could see in a short distance the forest gave way to a park, and decided that towards civilization was a good bet. And the sight she saw once she got there destroyed her inside. 

A girl lay dying against a tree stained with her blood. Her leg was broken, and she didn’t appear to be moving. Above her leered Beast Boy in his Werebeast form, about to go for the killing blow. Starfire had to act fast, so she did the first thing she could think of. She threw a starbolt at his face. Hard. 

It wasn’t hard to accomplish, seeing as she was so fucking furious at the gods and cosmic balance for letting this shitshow take place. Couldn’t things just go good for them once?? Did happy endings even exist?

Her starbolt hit the Werebeast like a ton of bricks, knocking him unconscious momentarily. Starfire knew she couldn’t count on it to be for long. Quickly she called for urgent backup and medical aid to her location. That was all she had time for before the Werebeast stirred. More slurs tore through her throat as she prepared to battle her love. 

The Werebeast looked fucking pissed. It shook itself awake, taking one look at its prey before glancing back to the floating being in the sky with the glowing green fist. That sure caught his attention. He flung himself towards her, ready for a fight. 

Starfire made the first move, flinging a series of starbolts at him, most of which he dodged. Whilst she did so she moved backwards, causing him to have to follow her. She wanted him as far away from the victim as possible. She needed to buy time for the rest of them to get there with the tranquilizer darts, for she had none on her. 

It worked at first. She stayed up high enough for him to not be able to grab her. He dodged her starbolts. He flung things, like small trees and boulders, and she slashed and dodged those as well. The starbolts didn’t seem to slow him down enough when they did hit, and Star was losing stamina from having to dodge such massive objects at a rapid pace. 

Her heart beat fast as she readied another attack. Sirens suddenly lit up the air, causing a momentary distraction to Starfire. Help is on the way! Her heart bloomed. She could do this until they got here, it would be a piece of cake. But the Werebeast was smart, and used this window of opportunity to launch a park bench at her. One she wasn’t able to dodge. 

She hit the ground with a loud thud. Her body felt like splintered glass, and she had no air in her lungs. The Werebeast was on her in a second. He removed the park bench from her with a flick of his paw, like it was weightless. It was replaced by his massive form. He pushed his claws onto her chest, slowly adding to the pressure, toying with her. Starfire coughed up blood, her whole body burning. 

Starfire had to make a choice. She was going to die if they didn’t get there this instant. Unless she killed him first. His eyes looked cold and dead, nothing like Beast Boy. Nothing like the one she loved. She couldn’t see any remembrance in his eyes of who she was. A tear rolled down her face. 

“I’m so sorry, my bumgorf, I have failed us. Please forgive me. I will always love you.” More tears soaked her face as she slowly raised her hand. The Werebeast looked at her in confusion. She slammed her hand into his chest, blasting him directly with a starbolt. The Werebeasts eyes closed, and he fell off her, slamming into the ground. His form changed back into the small frame of Beast Boy. He didn’t move. He didn’t breath. Starfire’s entire body felt dead. Her heart felt as if it was torn in two. She let out a tortured sob as she let herself succumb to the darkness of unconsciousness. 

***

The steady beep, beep, beep, of a heart monitor slowly filled Beast Boy's ears. His mouth was as dry as a desert, his lips cracked. His eyes felt like sandpaper as he tried to pry them open. He was successful on the third try, and his eyes were met with the bright lights of the med bay. There was something warm next to him, and when he turned his head the beautiful Starfire lay next to him, her face in shock. She looked ragged and tired, the bags under her eyes massive. It looked like the life had been taken out of her. His heartbeat kicked up just knowing she was this close to him, the heart monitor betraying that to her. Tears rolled down Star’s cheeks.

“I… we... “ She struggled to form a sentence, her body shaking slightly. “We thought you were dead. I thought.. I thought I killed you.” She sobbed slightly, and buried her head in his shoulder. Beast Boy was confused. Dead? He brought his hand up to her back and rubbed slow comforting circles. 

“Dead?” He coughed out, not having used his vocal chords in a while. “Why would I be dead? I’m healthy as a horse, Star.” Her sobbing seemed to lessen after a moment, and she lifted her head again.

“Beast Boy, how long have you been turning into the Werebeast?” The question shocked him. “Don’t lie to me. We all know.” He sighed deeply. 

“Uh, at least once. That’s the only time I can remember, it’s hard to say. How do you know?” Panic rose in his chest, the heart monitor picking up pace as his hands began to sweat and his head clouded up. “Does the press know? Please star, don’t tell me everyone knows.” His body trembled. Star’s face creased with worry as she rubbed his arm in comfort. 

“Last week, I decided to follow you after you seemed to be acting strange. I found you attacking a girl. I had to attack you as well, and…” She stopped for a moment to regain her composure. “And we battled. Intensely. And you caught me. In order to survive, I had to strike you directly with a powerful starbolt. I thought I’d killed you. You’ve been in a coma for a week. I thought I’d never forgive myself.” She broke off again, a small sob breaking her voice. Beast Boy put his hand on hers. He couldn’t believe he’d done that. He almost killed a civilian. He almost killed Star. How could he do that. What a fucking monster. He was a monster.

It was almost as if Starfire could read his mind. “You are absolutely not a monster Beast Boy! Do not think that. It is not something you can control!” She took both his hands in hers. “Besides, do you believe I could love a monster Beast Boy? Because…  I love you. I am in love with you, and I always have been.” Her eyes shined at his, her heart so full of the love she held for him. Beast Boy was amazed. She loved him! 

“I love you too Star. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’m so so sorry I hurt you, I should have never done that. I will never forgive myself for that.” They looked at each other for a long time, just staring and basking in this newfound feeling. The love sent cracks through their ever growing despair. It didn’t make all the awful things go away, no the consequences for those things remained. It did lessen the burdens, ever so slightly.  

Beast Boy had to break himself from the trance, knowing there were other things that needed to be discussed. “That girl… Did she live?” He asked it quietly, afraid of the answer. 

“She did! She will make a full recovery and has been advised to not go on anymore walks at night alone. She’ll probably need a lot of medical help, but she will be alright.” She gave him a small smile of reassurance. 

“As for the press, some did find out.” She gave him a small frown, for his body had gone rigid with the news. His whole life… over. If they knew, it was all over. 

“Do not fret, love. Robin had it taken care of! Wayne Enterprises has paid that press company handsomely to keep it from the public. It should not ever become a problem.” Beast Boy’s body relaxed, relief flooding his system. Maybe everything would turn out okay. 

“We’ve also come up with a plan, so that you will not have to worry as much about doing something awful. There is a safe room similar to the one we had for Raven. All of us will carry around tranquilizer darts as a safety precaution. Cyborg has also created a tracker chip to put in you as well as one that can sense the biochemical changes that happen when you shift into the Werebeast, giving us more of a warning. Only if you’ll agree to them, of course.” She gave him a small smile, proud of the work her and her team had done for Beast Boy. 

“Of course I consent! I can’t believe you guys have done so much for me… I couldn’t ask for better friends.” Beast Boy trailed off, unsure of where to go from here.

“I can help you, I think.” Starfire smiled at him, determination in her voice. “I think we can battle this together, you and I, if you’ll have me. You don’t have to keep anything from me. We can solve your inner demons, and win! I just know it.” She flashed him a smile that always melted his insides, and his heart swelled. Starfire loved him. She accepted him how he is, and is even willing to help him. He couldn’t ask for anything more. He leaned over and captured her lips in his, kissing her passionately. She was still for a moment, before returning the kiss with a firepassion. Their lips melded together perfectly as if meant for each other. He never wanted this moment to end. He was ready to put all this shit behind him and move forward. He wanted to conquer it, and make things right, with Starfire by his side. And they would, together.

[limitededitionsanderssidesblog]

Speech Impediment - Chapter 1

Sympathetic Deceit Week- Day 4: DLAMP

Ships: Logicality, pining-Prinxiety, platonic DLAMP

Summary: Deceit has gone through much of his life alone and being called a liar, all because of something he can’t help, but once he makes it to college he gets adopted as the little brother and son of a very strange group of friends without his permission. Going from life long outcast to being in a circle of friends is a little overwhelming, and not short of bizarre.

AO3 - Here

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

Dexter had always been seen as strange to those around him at school, in public, and even at home. Maybe it was due to his unnaturally golden eyes or his, as some might say, creepy fascination with snakes, he never knew the reason. Well whatever it was, it was the reason why Dexter was always left behind by the other kids. It wasn’t too troublesome for him though, Dexter liked the solitude and quite. Often times he’d spend hours upon hours alone in the library reading about murder and supernatural mysteries. During class he’d stick to his seat either reading a novel, or playing with his magic trick cards. Magic was one of the few things Dexter was ever good at, even though it wasn’t really a skill.

When he was about nine years old, Dexter grew a habit that still sticks with him even ten years later. He became a compulsive liar. It wasn’t as if he purposefully bent the truth to take advantage of others, it was more like a speech impediment. He would say the opposite of what he meant without meaning to, in fact it would take much more energy to speak ‘normally’ then it was to say it backwards. His parents took him to speech therapy and mental health therapy, but nothing worked, so his parents and teachers just learned to accommodate for him. The other students, not understanding his situation, took to calling him Deceit, a name Dexter did not mind. They poked fun and teased, but it was never anything serious, and Dexter never let it get to him.

This was how Dexter went through the entirety of elementary, middle, and even high school. Now he was standing in front his new University, nineteen years old, his mind set on becoming a novelist, and expecting nothing different. There were maybe hundreds, if not thousands, of other students around him lazing about in the grass and courtyard, almost all in their own little circles of close friends, none of them noticing Dexter. 

Not minding the lack of acknowledgement, Dexter continued though the campus and walked to one of the several boys’ dorms. Getting his key and room number he then headed to the stairs, never being a fan of elevators, and made his way for the third floor. Once there Dexter searched for his room number. 200. 201. 202. Ah, there it was, dorm room number 203. Dexter took out the small key he was given by the old man at the attendance desk and slipped it into the lock and opened the door. 

The room was empty, but on the left side there were partially unpacked suitcases and colorful pictures tacked to the wall. Dexter walked over to look at them and saw different photos of the same four guys. Two of them had glasses, one looking strict and stoic like a robot, and the other looking goofy and wild, another looked extremely emo, and the last looked like a prep. Under one of the pictures were words written in red sharpie saying: We’re famILY. Dexter smiled slightly at the picture and moved to what he assumed was his side of the room to unpack.

About an hour and a half of calm passed in near silence, save for the rowdy boys across the hall, and Dexter was nearly done. Half of the closet was filled with his coats and jackets; his dresser was organized by garment in both alphabetical and spectral order; and his bookshelf that he had shipped in ahead of time had been organized with all of his favorite books based on genre and height of the book. As of now he was setting up his snake’s, little Dee Dee, terrarium on top of his dresser.

Eventually a loud group of voices appeared in the hallway, but Dexter ignored them, thinking it was just more rowdy neighbors. But soon the sound of the door being unlock startled him into realizing that it was in fact his roomate who had at last arrived, and most likely his friends as well. Not ready or prepared to speak with anyone yet Dexter did the only thing he could think off. Run into the closet and hide in a dark and enclosed area like a snake. A mere second later, in walked there very same four people from the photos, talking loudly. Well, so much for his peace.

“Hey Patton, looks like you’re new roomate is here!” One enthusiastic and regal voice said.

“I wonder where he is.” Another, robotic, voice pondered.

“Bro, you can’t just assume it’s a guy.” A very sarcastic voice spoke.

“I can’t assume anything else either, we don’t know who Patton’s roomate is yet.” The robotic voice responded. “When they’re here they can notify us of their identification.”

Dexter thought this was the perfect time to pop out from his hiding place. Well no he didn't, but he was getting cramped and it would be even more embarrassing if they discovered him on their own.

“I’m not a guy.” He stated as he stepped out of the closet, earning him a chorus of screams. All four of them instantly turned to face him in surprise. The emo one sitting on ‘Patton’s’ bed, the prep sitting next to him, the robot standing near his bookshelf, and the goofy one standing in the center.

“What the fuck was that?” The emo one said, holding a hand over his chest, obviously more shaken up then the rest.

“Sorry.” Dexter apologized. “I wasn’t nervous when you all arrived.”

“Um, okay...” Said the emo.

“What’s you’re name kiddo?” The goofy glasses guy asked.

“It isn’t Dexter, but I don’t prefer Deceit.” He responded, cringing inwardly when he realized that he did it again, watching as the confusion grew on their faces. Really not wanting to come off as rude or weird, Dexter hastily followed up with an explanation. “Sorry, I don’t have a speech impediment where I don’t say the opposite of what I mean.”

For a good three heartbeats no one said anything, but instead just stared at him awkwardly. Dexter would love nothing more than for a meteor to fall to the earth and hit him right now, or maybe the floor would give out beneath him, anything to end this mess. However, as he was contemplating the quickest away to escape the dorm by means of a quick death, the one in the middle smiled brightly like a radiant sun, not at all put off by him.

“So it’s like opposite day on repeat? Wow! I’ve never heard of that before.” He said brightly.

“Yes, I’ve never heard of that speech disorder before either.” Said the robotic one skeptically.

“Uh, well it is very common.” Dexter told him.

“So Dexter-”

“Deceit.”

“-let me introduce myself and my friends. I’m Patton Sanders, the dad of the group. That’s my boyfriend Logan, the mom-”

“I am not the mom.”

“The one in the hoodie is our love child, Virgil-”

“Sup.”

“Don’t call him that.”

“-and that’s our dramatic son Roman.”Patton finished, practically jumping up and down in his spot, filled with excitement.

Dexter didn’t know exactly how to respond to their introduction. What do you say back to a group of friends who label each other as different rolls of an immediate family. He didn’t know if it was endearing or creepy. Maybe a sniper would have been a faster option.

Logan, noticing his discomfort, let out a heavy sigh and rested a heavy hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Pat, I think you came off a bit too strong again.” He said in a soft, but lecturing tone. Patton was able to calm down slightly, but stilled rocked back and forth on his feet. “I apologize, I’m Logan Winchester, a physics major, Patton here is an art major.

“Virgil Black, majoring in music theory.” The emo joined in next, still sitting in a ball on the bed, curled like a cat.

“And I am Roman Sanchez, actor, singer, and future Disney prince.” The preppy looking one then finished the introductions.

Once again, Dexter didn’t how to respond to them. He already told them his name so what else could he say? His major was probably a normal human response, but they’d probably ask if they could read any of his work, and he’d just as soon drive a bus into the ocean then show them his horror stories. So, maybe he could ask a question and... Wait, how long has he been standing there not saying anything? Oh shit they probably think he’s a socially inept introvert, well he was but oh no their staring- say something! Anything!

“Are you all gay?” What the fuck was that?

“Bi actually.” Both Logan and Patton answered at the same time.

“I’m pan, Roman is the only gay one.” Virgil shared.

“Gayer than a unicorn eating skittles on a rainbow~” Roman then sang, resting his head on Virgil’s side giving the small, cat-like emo a seductive wink, to which he was promptly shoved off.

“How about you kiddo?” Patton asked, taking a seat on the floor and resting his back against his bed frame. Logan followed close behind and sat next to him, crossing his legs.

“I’m not asexual.”

The smile Patton had been wearing the entire time began to grow impossibly large until Dexter was sure that his cheeks would rip wide open. With absolutely no warning, the dad friend bounced up off the ground and bounded over and enveloped him in a bear hug, scaring no one except Dexter.

“That settles it, you’re now my son!” He cheered and spun them around in a small circle. The others looked on like this was nothing new, perhaps this was how all of them met Patton, but Dexter could have sworn he’d turn into a puddle of blushing, stuttering gibberish. To say that he was caught off guard and confused would be the single most largest understatement of Dexter’s whole lonely life.

“I-i’m y-y-you-your so- wha- huh???”

Little did he know that this big bunch of weirdos would be the best thing to ever happen to him.

.

.

Well here's my contribution to this week. Chapter 2 will be out on Day 7.

[sunfish999]

Types of People, Kpop ver.

tag yourself haha enjoy

BTS

enjoy Starbucks, typically get an Americano. actually like snakes and most animals. read fantasy romance novels, and that goes for movies as well. when gardening, they prefer flowers, and like the aesthetic of a color scheme. “I’m in love with Khalid”. yellow walls, acrylic paints on wood. starry nights and writing fanfiction at 4:30am. can be bossy but is logical and fair when making decisions. screams at the tv during sports games.

BAP

stealing roses from a neighbors garden. passionate about anything they set their minds to. is sort of basic but in a cute way. lying in bed all day, quilts made by a grandmother. orange lotus soap with a basil scent. writing song lyrics or sheet music, playing the ukelele painted with flowers by your best friend. listens to depressing emo music but somehow it motivates them. cliche daydreams about crushes, can’t get over them even after being rejected. frilly socks and black tights. chipped purple nail polish. 

VIXX 

very sweet, into astrology. carries a picture of their little nephew in a leather wallet. clear phone case with the space gray iphone 8. likes holding hands with family members, friends, and lovers. lives near the ocean and always has sand between their toes. salty hair. a fresh, lemon scent with a hint of lavender. prefers pinterest over tumblr. “Jon Bellion is SO underrated”. very organized but has lots of things. black doc martens with doodles in gel pen. carries unscented chapstick everywhere.  

MONSTA X

tries to be an emo kid but really isn’t. has a lot of money but saves it all for ‘charity’ or ‘college’. aces school but always sleeps in class. mcdonalds all the way. laying in the grass on a sunny day. has some acne but is beautiful anyway. your average alternative music taste. down to earth, grows vegetables for their families. upside down herbs hanging from the kitchen window. is super athletic and most likely plays basketball. really good hearing but can’t see for shit. round glasses that are mismatched. 

EXO

singing in the shower, loudly, along with the music on your ipod. brushing your teeth with kids crest toothpaste. lives in jumpsuits and denim jackets. no one knows but they hate the dark. horror movies ftw. an entire shelf in their bedroom is dedicated to plushies. “yes i have to stand on this chair to take a picture of my food”. family camping trips every summer. plays the clarinet and looks forward to band camp. blasts lofi chill hop music whenever they’re in need of inspiration. pretty hands, no piercings. lives for doing anything with other people, will never hesitate to help out someone in need. 

SHINEE 

super nostalgic, keeps a memory box and still talks to childhood friends. That One Mom Friend. wants to major in psychology. keeps a dream journal and has a tumblr dedicated to psychic research. talks to their dog more than people. huge fluffy white comforter. listens to country music. likes the moments when it’s raining but the sun is out, and most wait for a rainbow but it never appears. doodles on your arms in crayola markers. cheetah print parkas are the way to go in winter. could be in a roller derby or bowling league. 

GOT7 

opening a window during a thunderstorm and just listening. forgetting to write in their diary. pressed wildflowers that are ugly to some but pretty to them. black fountain pens and nothing else. brings a smoothie to class every morning but never forgets fries at lunch. indie music is their jam. covers up the dark circles under their eyes with concealer, since they stay up until 3am. sleeping in super late on weekends and finally feeling refreshed. star of the soccer team and the lead role in the school musical. clumsy but charming. love at first sight. 

NCT 

making pinterest foodie recipes. prints out wikihow pages and keeps them in a notebook with them at all times. could read steven king at night without getting scared. screeches at jump scares but cradles spiders. is the world flat? probably does ballet or works out 24/7. keeps potted plants on their windowsill but can’t figure out why they keep dying. never turns the fan on while showering and then draws figures on the glass. drake is my spirit animal. phone is always at 80% but they never bring a charger anywhere. makes you go on the biggest ride at amusement parks or the biggest slide at waterparks. risk-takers and daredevils. 

BIGBANG 

ironically, watches the big bang theory. and the office. and parks and rec. along with friends. they really enjoy buttery popcorn but skip the salt. listens to 80s music. just above passing grades, hate attention. likes drawing with charcoal on big sketchpads. backhugs for their lover, kisses that send shivers up your spine. silver ring on their middle finger, wears a plaid fannypack everywhere. loves making jokes and is a living meme. lives on a large campus at the uni, works out with friends and is enemies with their roommate. eyebrow piercings and no-makeup makeup. carries a water bottle everywhere. 

DAY6 

works hard in school and their grades reflect that. has social anxiety but no one knows. pretty posters tacked on the walls. graffiti on the bathroom stalls and on train cars. champion chalk artist. always gets ice cream in a dish. two spoons, they love to share. sitting on the roof of a skyscraper and looking at how awake the city is. thrift store shopping. loves reading biographies and watching documentaries. listens to classic rock. 

TWICE

a cat fanatic. watches sherlock, doctor who, and supernatural. is a total geek. makes theories on every tv show ever. can’t fall asleep at night thinking about government conspiracies. gasps when people say they haven’t watched every star wars or read harry potter. “you mean to tell me you don’t know who BILBO BAGGINS is??” stargazing on the roof of your house. spilling tea on your sweater but just shrugging it off. will probably be a best selling author one day. smiles and says ‘have a great day!’ to everyone they see. the guardians of the galaxy soundtrack is everything anyone ever needed.

LOONA 

has a favorite poet. cringes at their freshman year GPA of 3.7. listens to podcasts. carries around an almost ripped rucksack so stuffed with books it’s a miracle it hasn’t burst yet. wants to major in philosophy but minor in math. works in a cafe that sells pastries. studies while perched on cushions that cover the floor of their room. falls asleep in random places. owns a pet bird. sings while baking cookies and played the flute in seventh grade. is fluent in french. 

BLACKPINK 

is into photography. annoys a lot of people but doesn’t let it bother them. smells like sweet perfume. idolizes Audrey Hepburn and owns a book about elegance. it’s on their coffee table. likes vintage hats and wears lace bralettes under everything. owns a record player that continuously plays classic piano records from goodwill. feels like they were born in the wrong generation. tries to capture their emotions with a camera. picks daisies and is an expert at making flower crowns.

RED VELVET 

has a sweet tooth. likes cookies and cakes and candies. desperately wants to travel to london. has an art instagram where they post calligraphy. plays card games every saturday. mornings in the saddle and stroking their horse. collects the eggs from their chickens each morning to make omelets. has quote decals on their walls. dazzling white smile and red lipstick. works as a nanny for the kids down the street. is always tired. listens to slow love songs and teaches ballroom dancing and waltzes. 

F(X)

is cool and they know it. pulls all nighters with ease, handles alcohol well. takes risks only because they have nothing to lose. is dissatisfied with life. predicted their own death and has written their will already. sells old notes and tests to younger students, as well as being an irish literature tutor. likes reading shakespeare. is the heartthrob of the school. stares out the window during class but can answer whatever question the teacher asks. ripped jeans and fishnets is a winning combination. is a black belt in taekwondo. only ever drinks hot chocolate. 

i don’t even know what half of these mean but tag yourself lmao this took years its 3:01am 

[sending-the-message]

Lila by emareil

The baby didn’t cry at all when it was handed to me, it just stared up at me with its wide, blue eyes.

There was noise all around me, the child’s mother was crying, or moaning, but her words burred together into one unintelligible stream of sound that I filtered out. The baby blinked, a fringe of black eyelashes brushed its cheek and I shook my head- in the moment of clarity before the baby’s eyes opened and entranced me again.

The gaze seemed to me, completely aware and oddly complacent- as if the child had trusted itself to me, to my arms. The mother, Angeline- I think her name was reached out for her baby, but I stepped back from her grasp- unkind perhaps, but I couldn’t muster a single ounce of sympathy for the woman writhing before me. I despised her for what she had put the child through.

She would die soon, I imagined- but again, I felt only relief. I checked the baby in my arms, the child was shaking; convulsing- its frantic movements mirrored the mother’s.

The baby was female. Her skin was warm against mine, feverish. I hummed softly and bent down to bring my own eyes level with the mother’s.

“I want my,” The woman hissed at me. Sweat beaded her forehead and her hair was matted around her head. Detached, I watched the spit fall from her mouth as she struggled to speak. “I change- I don’t.”

I cut the contemptible woman off. “No.” Compared to her raspy vowels my own voice was pure and unusually forceful.

The baby shook against me; the child had been born addicted to whatever vile substances the mother had forced through her clotted veins. A horrible cruelty, I thought, to subject someone so innocent, so utterly defenseless to torture at the hand of one’s own despicable cravings. I stood up, and fixed the warm cotton blanket around the child.

“You know what the agreement was. I’ve fulfilled my end.” I made my voice soft, for the baby’s sake, but the power was still there. The woman drew away from me, cringing into the filthy ground of her apartment. A beer bottle rolled across the floor as she knocked into it.

“You promised,” The woman tried to raise her head, but gave up. It made a heavy thunking sound as it hit the ground. “I’m not, my life isn’t what...”

I ignored her, and stepped around her prone body towards the door. If she had false hopes, then they were her problems. I didn’t even bother trying to assuage her doubts, she was to weak to do anything, and I had paid her the money she’d asked for anyways.

The mother tried again, “You can’t… You won’t”

“I will.” I told her, allowing an edge of steel to creep into my words. The baby, the little girl was mine now.

I called her Lila, the short form of a traditional name in my mother language- shortened because I didn’t want her ridiculed by the children in her classes. I knew children could be cruel.

She was a beautiful child, special somehow, as if the fates were compensating for the trial of her first days. I never came to regret the adoption, as unorthodox as it was; Lila was my only light in the world.

When I’d brought her home, I’d held her to me, skin to skin against my chest and sang to her until she’d stopped trembling. I couldn’t feed her myself, of course, and I couldn’t bear to get her a wet nurse- to give the job of sustaining my baby to some other woman. Besides, I couldn’t stomach the thought of some alien girl’s bodily fluids coursing through my own child.

I bought her best nourishment money could buy, and I gave her what no one else could; my undivided attention and unconditional love. I had enough money, more then enough, to spend every single second with her. I never tired of my baby, the way other mothers might have. I had lost enough to realize how lucky I was; every moment with Lila was a blessing.

Her mother had had brown eyes, with ugly dilated pupils and bloodshot veins marring the whites of them. The father was unknown- any number of philandering men could have donated half of my baby’s genetic makeup. The doctors had told me that eyes darkened over time- but that was never the case. Four years later, Lila’s eyes were even more stunningly blue, and her hair was dark and wavy against pale cream skin.

The doctors had also said she could face any number of symptoms; from sudden death to attention defects, to delayed and stunted growth to mental retardation. I should have paid less money for their council.

I was my daughter’s guardian, I watched over her, helped her learn, taught her to read and write, and to solve problems and form conclusions. I watched as she played in the bath, and I sang to her every night- protective lullabies against whatever evils the mother may have lashed to her fate.

Lila was gifted, by far the brightest out of all her classmates. Her school was a private one that advertised the best facilities in our city- one with teachers that loved their jobs and a big list of successful alumni. I doubted that it was the facility alone that had produced the fame and fortune of their graduates, but rather, the bar of excessive wealth that gatekept the progeny of the less fortunate.

My own wealth was a huge aid in the world, an untimely inheritance that I had never felt I deserved. I had privileges that the vast majority of society never would- Lila had been legally mine six months before she was even born. She had privileges too. I’d enrolled her in the stupid pedigreed elementary school full of stupid children from ridiculously affluent backgrounds, after all.

But wealth wasn’t everything, because Lila’s biological mother hadn’t had a penny in the world- at least not before she’d met me. Lila’s biological father was, presumably, equally bereft. Still, Lila had had full reading comprehension while most of her classmates struggled to read single words.

Today we sat together on the couch in our home, her head against my chest and her legs tucked up besides me.

“Mama,” Lila had said, reminding me of the first word she’d ever spoken. She hadn’t cried at all as a baby, and she hadn’t babbled, just watched me until she’d been able to model my own words, to call me Mama in a pretty sing-song voice that had sent a thrill of pride through me.

“Yes darling?” I brushed some of her hair away from her face and tried to imagine what she would look like as a grown woman.

“Will you swim with me tonight?”

She’d always loved the water, something that brought me great relief. I missed the beaches and the glittering waters of my home. Although we were far from the beach, I was glad she could still appreciate the pool I’d had built with the house.

I agreed easily and poked her in the side, prompting her to tell me about her day.

We talked about all of her feelings in depth, and she was angry because the children in her class were boring and self absorbed. She was frustrated because the classes moved too slowly for her.

I called the school while I prepared dinner- they would move her up two grades. She was mature enough not to be stunted socially, and the coursework was advanced enough for her.

Lila was twelve when she came home from dance class upset. She never cried, but I could read it in her posture, in the tense way she carried herself and the shallow breaths she pulled in. I poured her a glass of water from the fridge and passed it too her, motioning for her to sit besides me on the couch.

We sat in silence for a while, and I looked at her. She was my proudest accomplishment, my baby, my daughter and my only light in the world. She looked like me now; we both had black hair and strong bone structures. Her face was symmetrical, a product, I thought, of a good childhood. It took the body a great deal of energy to grow symmetrically, and symmetry was an indicator of health and ample resources during the growth periods. She was softer then me, though, a gentler beauty whereas I was regal and harsh. I was proud of that too.

She also danced with an elegance that was unusual amongst her awkward, prepubescent peers. Already, she carried herself with the grace of a young woman, with a quiet confidence that set her apart.

“Do you think Fermat’s principle is prophetic?” She broke my reflective silence.

I didn’t share her love for all things physics, but I kept up with her because I loved our conversations. I furrowed my brow, worried.

“No, and neither do you.”

Her love for the sciences and math’s had never been philosophical in nature; she delighted in the purity and in the fixed properties of physics.

“What’s bothering you?”

Lila was silent a beat longer. “Did you date?”

I laughed now, relieved. Boys bothered everyone.

I had attracted men as a teenager, a lot, and a new suitor every week. My family’s status had been fortunate (perhaps unfortunately) enough to merit undue attention from men older, and far more mature then me- an impressionable child.

“Not at all. Romantic relationships are never worth it.” I said, trying to keep my tone light. Lila looked relieved, she confessed she didn’t share the shallow attractions her friends obsessed over.

I was relieved too, and it flooded my body like an ocean of reassurance. I feared the corrupting influence of teenage boys. Perhaps I was overprotective, but they disgusted me, and I had my own reasons.

It had been my own heart that had brought devastation to my family. Bored with my life, and my duties as an heiress I’d allowed myself to be charmed by the first man to show me sustained attention and had abandoned my family to be his wife. My father had died soon after- and I hadn’t even made it to his deathbed. Our marriage hadn’t been happy- and we’d both grown idle- as the obscenely rich did.

Affair after affair had followed, and I- for all of my ambition was nothing but eye candy. In the world of socialites and business magistrates my job was to look pretty. I had stood calmly by, smiling graciously as he charmed a steady stream of women- a thick coat of makeup covering the regular bruises that had painted my throat black.

When he’d died, I had been relieved beyond words but hideously angry, with only my sisters left as family. Eventually I had abandoned them too- and wandered, lost, until I’d found Lila- or the woman carrying her.

Family. I rarely thought of it now; therapy sessions with the most qualified professionals I could find would do that- but Lila’s words had reminded me of the past I tried so hard to forget. Still, I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant I could keep her.

Boys brought my daughter more trouble, and one day I left a conference abruptly to join her principal, an ugly teenage boy and his insufferable parents in a school office.

“Lila bit Bennett’s hand.” The principal’s voice was long suffering, and he gestured to the boy who was cradling a hand wrapped in white gauze.

I raised an eyebrow at my daughter, who was glaring at the boy, her wide blue eyes awash with fury. I could feel the tension in the room, in the harsh anger emanating from my daughter and the duplicitous pain the boy was trying to project.

“Why?” I asked, and I could hear the fury in my voice. The boys parents looked smug, they though I was angry with my daughter. Lila, however, was vindicated- I was her cavalry- and I could never be mad with her.

“She claims he touched her breast.” The principal said, in his stupid, long-suffering voice, as if he dealt with claims of sexual assault daily. Lila met my eyes, and the anger simmering below the surface erupted into a point of white-hot fury. I hummed under my breath, a low sonorous note to try and calm myself. It didn’t work.

I was reserved, but terrifying in my defence of my child, and the boy’s parent’s cried. The boy’s name was Bennett; it was a stupid name that his idiot parents modeled in their equally idiot behaviour. The father told me, “Wait now a minute,” and the mother covered her mouth and wiped at her eyes. Lila didn’t cry, because I’d raised her to be strong.

The principal apologized to me personally, I wouldn’t sue the school, and Lila’s tuition would be free this year- as if the money was ever an issue. The boy changed schools and Lila took a long, long shower to wash off the feeling of his hand on her.

After, I taught her to fight, and we practiced the movements under the big window of the living room. She was a natural, years of dance brought the movements effortlessly to her, and she was sinuously graceful where I could only ever be harsh and brutal. Our legs made susurrus sounds as we sparred, and I taught her what to do if a man ever laid an unwanted hand on her again.

Lila’s classmates enjoyed social media, and she did too. She had always been popular, because she was beautiful, and because some twisted property of society made that a desirable trait.

She threw a party for her sixteenth birthday, and we strung fairy lights around the yard, and waterproof lights inside of the pool so that it glowed at night. It was a rather unearthly blue colour and Lila loved it; it reminded me of her eyes. I taught her the melodies of my favourite songs as we prepared, and she picked up the notes with ease.

They took lots of pictures at her party, these groups of giggling, tittering teenagers. Lila had never looked so separate from them- they were still insecure and they preened like a flock of birds. My daughter was effortlessly confident, poised and lovely. She spent most of her time in the water, whirling in circles and laughing as she splashed her friends. I remember teaching her to swim, just days after she was born.

I didn’t like Lila’s friends, they reminded me too much of the women I’d known growing up. Superficial, vain, and outer beauty only barely concealing horrific nasty streaks- women could be unassumingly dangerous, the undertow beneath a calm surface.

Later, as Lila and I looked at the photos her friends posted online, she confessed she only threw a party for their enjoyment. She would have preferred doing something with me- I promised her we’d go cliff climbing or swimming together as a treat later. She smiled hugely. Altruism, I suppose was a fine quality.

Lila’s biological mother finds us a month later; I should have been more vigilant with the online posts. It never occurred to me that she would survive the birth.

Her eyes are sunken and hollow, she’s disgustingly thin and I make a conscious note to clean the carpets she stands on. Or to have them cleaned, I don’t want to touch them.

“I want my baby back.” The woman says, coughing weakly into her sweatshirt.

Lila stays behind me, this woman means nothing to both of us.

“That’s my Abigail!” The woman insists, stumbling forwards. She’s bleeding from both arms from where she climbed through a hole she’d smashed in our window. Her arms are bruised from decades of drug abuse, and I am reminded of Lila’s first days of life, and the pain my daughter had endured. I meet Lila’s eyes for reassurance, and I am furious as well, I will protect my daughter to whatever end.

“You promised me a better life!” Spit sprays from her mouth, and the drugs in her system egg her on, making her feral. “My life is shit, I deserve my baby back! GIVE ME MY BABY!” She screeches, and makes a grab for my daughter.

I force the woman, screaming, from my house, and the police are called to remove her. It doesn’t take much from them to believe my story.

Legally, Lila is my biological daughter, and this woman is a crazy drug addict who vandalized my property. The mother is also unconscious now, which probably lends a significant amount of credibility to my story. That and Lila is almost my spitting image. Her father is out of the picture too, which helps. I’d found his records years ago; he’d stumbled in front of a truck with a blood alcohol level high enough to kill him anyway. Good riddance.

Despite the damage to my property, I don’t regret a second of Lila’s adoption. I couldn’t have gotten pregnant if I’d tried, and I couldn’t have endured it anyways. I was an undocumented citizen- or at least a falsely documented one.

Lila’s biological mother had been younger then Lila was now when she’d fallen pregnant with my child. It was an unorthodox exchange, but with my funds, it was entirely convenient. It was also the best choice I’d ever made, even if accepting a street girl’s proposition of money for a child had been legally grey.

Besides, Lila had always been special.

Lila’s graduation marks the end of our need for this country. She has learned all of the math and science I couldn’t teach her, and I feel obligated to leave.

For the first time my daughter disagrees with me, she wants to stay and learn more about the world, about the laws that govern the universe. I think a portion of her insatiable quest for knowledge stems from her inability to understand herself.

Still, I suppose knowledge is as worthy a pursuit as any, so I agree easily and fund the tuition for whatever university she wants to study within. I listen eagerly as she tells me about everything she’s learning, although most of it escapes me.

Her biological mother contacts me again, this time through mail following an incessant stream of online attempts. She wants more money. I ignore the messages.

Lila finishes university with honours, I have never been prouder. She also finishes university without a romantic attachment; something which pleases me too.

She is away from me more, and I’ve been having nightmares. It’s been many years, but I fear for Lila’s safety. I sing to her every night, although she’s old enough now to sing for herself.

I think she intends to learn even more, to absorb every ounce of knowledge available before we leave. It seems foolish to me, but she is resolute. She needs to know enough to continue her studies in another country.

I acquiesce, of course, and I pay for her courses. We still have as much time as she wants, and I can hardly blame her for being anxious about leaving what she knows.

My sister visits me while Lila is away; she wants me to come back home- to bring Lila with me. I disagree, it is still unsafe for her, and for me- my family will not be so quick to forgive me. My sister tells me they already have.

The second time the biological mother finds us, Lila is grown herself - and we are planning on leaving for my home country soon, leaving the bleak grey of this city for sunny Mediterranean seas and salty ocean breezes.

The mother is stronger now too, and I can tell the drugs are free from her veins. Still, she is mad. Mad perhaps with the dreams I’d sang to her still carving a path through her skull. Mad because the paradises I’d promised her in return for her complacency would never come to fruition, and because she had no other option save for this frenzied pilgrimage. I pitied her.

“I only want my baby!” She shrieks at me, she had climbed the backyard fence and she stood across from us on the pool deck.

I could see the insanity within her eyes, dark, hollow pits consumed by the glimpses of heaven I’d afforded her. I imagine she saw my daughter as a way to go back to the girl she was, before she had seen exactly how much she was missing, and how much she could never have. False promises were an exquisite torture. I hummed beneath my breath, but the woman was screaming so loudly I doubted she could hear it. Lila hid behind me, terrified.

“I want my fucking baby back! Give me my life back!” The mother shrieks again, deranged, tears brimming in her eyes. “You did this to me! You took my life away from me!”

She gasps, spine jerking, and eyes roving madly. She fixes her gaze on something I can’t see and laughs- a chilling sound, although I am unmoved. “All I see is perfection.” She laughs again, and then screams at me, “It’s not real! NONE OF IT IS REAL.”

I tune her out.

“I need money- I have to,” I turn to face her as she claws at her forehead- I notice streaks of blood covering it. “Please,” her voice is low now, groveling, “You have to help me.”

I turn to face her. “You’ve wasted your life of your own volition.”

“Bitch!” She howls, furious again, “You promised you could make my life better!”

I won’t make any more false promises, “I can’t help you.”

“NO!” The woman cries out, she is beyond reason. I edge towards the door and keep an eye on her out of my peripheral vision, she can hardly stand upright- perhaps the drugs really did help her.

The mother speaks up, this time softly, “So you wont help me.”

“No.” I tell her.

And then something changes, and the mother- biological mother- because the only right she has to my child is a packet of donated genes- shifts. Like a switch has snapped, and I see with horrifying clarity what she was hiding behind her back. It’s too late now for me to convince her otherwise- and I can only accept whatever the fates may bring. Adrenaline courses through me, and I feel the song build up within me- ready.

A few things happen at once, and a bullet tears it’s way towards us, towards my daughter. I fling myself in its path. Lila cries out as the bullet tears through my chest and out my back. I feel it in an odd detached pain; I am consumed with protecting Lila, I barely notice- all I can feel is relief that she is okay.

Lila became my life after I left my sisters and mother behind. She is the heir I raised in my place once we return, destined to take my place as queen. Now, I am furious, my anger is hell-hot and a raging, blistering fire at the though of my daughter being taken from me.

I sing.

My voice is powerful; it protected my daughter from the pain she might have faced, chased the drugs from her veins, and helped shape her into her truest self, but this time it doesn’t nurture.

I shatter the mother’s bones with my song, I sing her skin to putty and I snap her spine-it makes a hollow sound. My song is beautiful- hauntingly ethereal, and I sing dozens of notes at a time in an unearthly concert. Energy crackles around me, and the stone under my feet turns black and cracks. The water in the pool bubbles and steams, and I can feel the strength of my voice reverberating away from me.

The song pours effortlessly from me, my throat contracts around it but the melodies form of their own volition now. Long, bloody ropes of flesh peel from the mother’s arms and legs and her hair snakes across the concrete as I split her skull open with a sickeningly satisfying crack. My song pounds into her like shrapnel and the blood that spurts from her abdomen is vaporized almost instantly. Her screams are piercing, shrill, and they remind me of when I cut my daughter free from her womb after I’d sang the control of her body away from her. I didn’t want to give her the honour of birthing my child.

My song is as brutal and as carnal as I can make it, a stunning cacophony of melody, I will make the mother’s final moments my first slice of retribution for daring to hurt my child. I suppose I am still furious at the pain she’d caused Lila, even if it had allowed me to claim her. I had known my daughter from the second I’d sensed her in this woman’s belly. The mother was only ever the container- although I had underestimated the lengths she would go to see the empty promises I’d bestowed upon her played out. The only thing I regretted about the adoption now, was not seeing her dead.

I rip her limbs brutally from her body, the bone within them leaks out of the end and steams out of the pores- and the appendages incinerate to ash before they touch the ground. Poofs of the dust blow over the mother’s face and paint her black. Blood pools below her and the mother’s strident screaming fades to a harrowing keening and then strangely funny gurgling as I turn her lungs to mush.

Unlike the other’s I’d killed for Lila; various men lured into my house for dinner or convinced to donate blood to suckle my infant daughter, I relish the mother’s pain- even though her death is costing me my life. I would gladly die to protect my child.

With a tremendous force, I sing her soul from her body, and slam it down into the deepest reaches of Hades- now she will enjoy an eternity of torment and pain.

I am a Siren, Lila is the ascendant queen of my people and there is no rival to my song on earth. I could sing armies of men to do my bidding, command an entire nation to sacrifice themselves at my feet- but it is hardly worth it, Siren women have no reason to desire more then they have been given.

A siren woman is a dead woman, usually one drowned- choking on the salt of the sea spray before her vocal chords harden- and before she is sung from the ocean to become a sister.

Lila was different, drowned in her mother’s womb as a defenceless child- but still I could sense her potential. The mother just wanted money at first, only later had she required coercion. She hadn’t known the fetus she protected was a corpse, and she hadn’t cared after she’d heard my song.

Sirensong was a funny thing, and there was a reason those who heard it usually jumped to their deaths. My song had warped the young woman’s mind, possessed her until she was consumed by it. A fatal mistake, as it turned out.

Besides me Lila, my daughter, my Scylla, sings too, but she doesn’t cry because I’ve taught her mastery over water. Her eyes are brilliant, blue and she raises her arms to the sky and the water of the pool rises with her, surrounding her in a glorious whirlpool. I’ve taught her how to fight, and she is practiced as she controls the waves, as she rises up, black hair whipping around her.

I know where she will go, to the our home just as we’d always planned, and I know she will be able to control my sisters just as easily as she controls the water.

I’m proud of my daughter, of my only light in the world, she is monstrous and she is powerful, named for the cliff monster of old that I’d hoped she would take after. She is even more fearsome, and I know she will be safe. She will be Queen as well; her voice will bring a new generation of men to their knees at her feet. She will always have enough to eat.

She is everything I have ever wanted. My life has been long, but I have only been alive for as long as Scylla has. I met death the first time with fear, but this time I can smile as the world around me blurs at the edges- there is nothing else I could ever want. I suppose that I too have been consumed by Sirensong.

I meet Scylla’s eyes, her beautiful blue eyes- just like my own- and she fixes me with her gaze, and I am transfixed just as I was when she was a baby. Her eyes are full of understanding, and this time; trust in all I’ve taught her. She knows she will be okay. Scylla, my daughter blinks and my head clears.

I look at her one last time,

And then

I let go.

…………………….It’s 1925, and my husband stands besides me- or perhaps a little behind me. The ocean is blue, an unearthly colour and I love it.

The musicians are playing, some jazzy upbeat tune- but I let the roar of the waves tune it out and concentrate on the faint strains of music flowing over the water.

“Darling,” My husband says with what I think must be his most charming smile, “you don’t look well.”

His voice breaks my concentration- and already the images flowing through my mind have passed. I can’t look at him anymore- so I look out at the jagged cliffs that line the edge of the island chain we are sailing by.

“Though you always look a vision.”

My husband reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, and involuntarily I flinch away. Something cold and sinister flashes beneath his vision- betraying the good-natured half smile he always has playing around his lips.

I look at him through my lashes, and brace my hands against the balcony. He nods as though he approves and takes a deep breath to steady himself. His breath blows hot over my face, and it reeks of alcohol. Illegal- but easily bought, especially for the rich.

Below us, I feel the hum of the ship’s engine as we change course- imperceptibly, but I know we’re headed for the islands. We can’t hear their song over the loud music- but the captain can.

“I was going to take a boat out with the boys and head back the way we came- try and catch a few fish.”

I look at the jagged rocks and to the shore below littered with the wrecks of other ships- although from this far away they look like black smudges.

“No,” I smile up at him, and meet his eyes. I reach a hand to my back and undo the zipper that holds my dress up, and I take in the way his eyes widen as my dress falls softly to the floor around me, with satisfaction. I curl my hand around his cheek and lock the other around his wrist. “Stay.”

He doesn’t need any more convincing. And I smile against his lips as I wrap my body around his- I’ve seen everything I could ever want in the world, a curse and a blessing because I know it will cost my life, and I would rather die then fight it. I resolve to write all I’ve seen down in my room later- so I don’t forget.

Behind us, the rocks inch ever closer and I know that when I drown my husband will drown with me- but only one of us will rise again.

Lila, I’m coming.

I am posting this today, three months after purchasing a house here- in the city, three months and twenty-seven days after leaving my sisters. Today has been an uneventful day- uneventful aside from your biological mother camped out beside the subway station.

I write this, because the Sirensong that drives me is relaxing now- I met you today, and already I am forgetting all that I have seen. I have posted this on hundreds of forums, written notes to you, secured papers in safe deposit boxes. This is a redundancy.

When you find this I imagine I will already be gone from this realm- and I imagine you will be a Queen. Know that I am proud of you, and that Sirensong was not the only thing that drove me to die for you. Rule well, my love.

[noonetosmilefor]

Random questions

So, I got asked by @hopedreamssoul to answer all 150 questions. Thank you, darling. ❤️

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? - Lick.

2. What is home to you? - Home to me can be a person, a place, a city, somewhere, where I feel alive, can be myself and happiest.

3. What was the last lie you told? - I told myself the lie that I’m going to bed earlier today. (And now I’m sitting here answering these questions.)

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? - Yes.

5. What is the creepiest toy ever made? - When I was a child I really hated these ‘trolls’. They freaked me out.

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. - I told a friend to go to a shop near our town because they have cool new toys for dogs. I forgot that her dog died almost a month ago.

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) - For me personally: Falling asleep and cleaning. (Idk, man.)

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? - I can’t remember. 

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? - About 10 or so.

10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? - In hugs.

11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? - 3.

12. What is your paradise? - My personal paradise is when I can do what I want, be myself and with people I love to death. 

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) - Rain.

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? - I don’t know, I hope I’ve never broken anyones heart.

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? - That people can communicate with each other, even though they’re miles apart. That say’s that I have a lot of friends who life far away from me.

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? - I think it’s because it makes them happy to ‘care’ about someone else. If it gives them hope/motivation/happiness etc., why shouldn’t they care about them. I can’t say I ‘care’ about celebrities. It doesn’t affect me if a certain celebrity does something wrong or something like that.  I really like a lot of celebrities and the way they’re. I like their music/acting skills and so on.

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? - Sitting beside me and chewing on their fingernails or eat noisily constantly. 

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? - Sometimes, depends on the situation. But I can’t think of any pros or cons, because it just happens sometimes.

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? - Yes, the transverse flute.

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? - Sometimes. It depends on my mood and look.

21. List 3 things you like about yourself? - My hair, my eyes and my honesty.

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? - “Travel the world, go on adventures without fear. Learn to get to know the unknown and do what you love.”

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? - I don’t think so. I don’t like children that much and I can get very moody and want to be alone a lot of time.

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? - Listening to my favorite band while laying in bed.

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? - Today.

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? - A mixture of both. It always depends on the situation.

27. What constitutes a good friend? - Honesty, loyalty, the same humor, a good listener, someone who can put their phone away while being with me.

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? - One best friend.

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? - That someone is pissed.

30. What is your dream job? - Something I love doing, that makes me happy. I want a job where I can be independent. 

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? - Lazy but smart.

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? - That I’m crying a lot when I’m on my own.

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? - Why do they have to be so stubborn all the fucking time?

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? - The Harry Potter world.

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. - She’s not a friend of mine anymore. She treated me like shit after she got together with her current boyfriend because he told her, that I’m not worth her friendship.

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? - I would want to find myself and find a way with that other person how to work this shit out.

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? - I would burn it.

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? - Uh, I don’t know?

39. Name the last book you read. - “Achtnacht” by Sebastian Fitzek.

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? - In a bad way of course. It would never be the same with friends again.

41. When was the last time you made the first move? - A week ago.

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? - I personally don’t like it and wouldn’t say that this is ‘music’.

43. What was the last movie you watched? - Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? - Currently not really.

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself? - No.

46. When was the last time you cried? - Today.

47. What are you scared of? - Since my childhood, I was scared of the No-Face, don’t know why. It’s getting better, but I can’t watch the movie ‘Spirited Away’.

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? - A lot of cringe-worthy things happen to me every day. But I’m not embarrassed easily.

49. What are some of your hobbies? - Listening to music, reading, going to the cinema with friends, attending concerts, traveling.

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? - I’m sometimes really sloppy.

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? - I think so. I’m a good listener and try to be as honest as possible. Also I want to make my friend’s days better.

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? - No.

53. What have you learned the hard way? - That I can’t have everything and do everything I want to.

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? - Motivation.

55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) - Photography.

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? - Creative.

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? - I completed school successfully. 

58. What is your ideal meal? - Italian pasta with sea food. Would die for that right now.

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? - Not being honest.

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? - YES. All kinds of animals.

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? - Guns.

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? - I sometimes really enjoy listening to trashy songs.

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? - Fandoms.

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? - Not really.

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? - Beauty is a good way for everyone to express how they feel. It doesn’t matter what you look like, the beauty lies within yourself. I think it’s great that big girls/boys also get recognized nowadays. Because they’re as beautiful as thin girls/boys.

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? - Not at all. If I go to work I have to get up at 6 AM. If not, usually at 10 AM.

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? - Yes. The Lion King. I love Nala.

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? - City.

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? - Near the ocean.

70. What are the best things about winter? - The snow, the cold storms and the silence that lies within a snowy day.

71. What scares you most about the future? - That I don’t know what might happen.

72. What makes you feel old? - Seeing tv shows I used to watch as a kid/teen.

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? - Uff, I think about 10 hours.

74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? - Don’t have any.

75. What is your life story in 6 words? - Full of traveling and lovely friends.

76. Describe yourself in one word. - Ambitious.

77. What bad habits do you do? - I often command people.

78. What genre of music do you listen to? - I love love looove pop-punk.

79. Most prominent childhood memory? - The divorce of my mom and dad.

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? - I think we’d do a lot more dangerous stuff and he would be over protective.

81. Spirit animal? - Sherlock Holmes.

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? - Yeah, kinda.

83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given? - “Be yourself.”

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. - My two best friends Iris and Marci and @hopedreamssoul. ❤️

85. Favorite memory of your family. - The chilled Sundays in our house.

86. What do you look for in a relationship? - Honesty, openness, loyalty, a bright smile, a kind heart, a good listener and someone adventurous.

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? - No, I don’t think so. I’m just who I am, I don’t need a role model.

88. What is your opinion on social media? - I like it. But it can ruin a lot too. I see people barely talking to each other when they’re out with friends because they constantly stare at their phones. I HATE that.

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? - Pessimist.

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? - Shoes, clothes, make-up, hygiene products.

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? - The day my second mother (still don’t like the word ‘stepmom’) died. Basically the year 2012.

92. What superpower would ruin the world? - Immortality.

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? - Drinking alcohol.

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? - That not everything’s what it seems and you have to work hard in order to achieve the things you want. Surround yourself with the right people, the ones you can trust. The Lord Of The Rings and Harry Potter movies, basically.

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? - Currently, I’m in a ‘far-away’ mood. So New Zealand, maybe.

96. How do you approach people? - With a poker-face.

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? - The first impression isn’t what it is. You can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Or a book you’ve only read 5 pages in.

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? - I went outside a lot, dancing, playing the transverse flute.

99. What languages can you speak? - German, English, Spanish, a bit Italian.

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? - Mind-controlled over social media/phones/computers.

101. What do you do on your lazy days? - Laying in bed, reading.

102. What ended your last relationship? - Disagreements.

103. Favorite food? - I love the potato salat from my grandma.

104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? - That my mom and I were trapped inside a cage of lions and the only way she could help me out is that she stays in the cage forever. I dreamed that dream every night when I was a child.

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? - Yesterday.

106. What was the last friendship you broke? - With one of my former best friends/ex-boyfriend.

107. Do you have any pet peeves? - People with bad table manners, noisy eaters, animal cruelty, homophobic people.

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? - My sister’s best friend.

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? - Last Thursday.

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? - My mood changes.

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? - My dad.

112. What is your biggest motivation? - Watching other people succeed.

113. What did you want to be when you were little? - I wanted to be a veterinarian.

114. What are some things that you are good at? - Playing instruments, listening to other people, being funny and I’m also very spontaneous.

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? - Singing.

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? - My phone. 

117. How important is privacy to you? - Very important.

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? - Being nice to everyone when you meet them, no matter what color/gender/sexuality or how the person looks.

119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? - I don’t know. I’m not the person who’s telling crazy or big lies.

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? - I don’t attend parties that often, and if so, I wouldn’t be someone to tell a story about myself.

121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? - I don’t know.

122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? - I smiled the whole time, even though I wasn’t really in the mood of smiling.

123. What is your morning routine? - Getting out of bed really slowly, going to the bath, getting dressed and run out of the house because I’m late again.

124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering? - I helped someone out who couldn’t help themselves.

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? - Help.

126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" - I don’t know anything about it, so.

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? - Pros: You can really be honest with everyone, they know you won’t lie to them; Cons: You may hurt some peoples feelings and may loose friends.

128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? - Showing someone the direction of life, idk.

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? - Both.

130. What do you admire most about your friends? - Their smiles and honesty.

131. What do you admire most about your family? - They are all open-minded.

132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" - I personally am not going with the flow. But if it bring’s you joy, go for it.

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? - Both.

134. When is it time to end a friendship? - When you have the feeling it’s not worth it anymore. When you’re distant and not interested in what the person is saying anymore.

135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? - That I’m not feeling well. (I always use that excuse.)

136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? - GPA doesn’t matter where I live.

137. What are your favorite baby names? - Nick and Merry.

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? - In February in Berlin with @hopedreamssoul.

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? - When a person is constantly interrupting someone.

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs.- Turn ons: Contagious smile, honesty. Cons: Disrespect and racist people.

141. Biggest disappointment. - Myself.

142. Do you have any self-restraint? - Not really.

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? - When I was in Lisbon with my family.

144. Prized possession(s)? - My books.

145. What is your opinion on second chances? - It depends on what the person did to you. I uneasily forgive people.

146. Text or call? - Text.

147. What do you like about the 21st century? - I can’t think of one single thing, well.

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? - GO TO SCHOOL, YOU FUCK!

149. How organized are you? - Really organized.

150. Favorite mode of transportation. - By train.

[puntofijogossip-blog]

Dinosaur books!

More dinosaur books. After I finished Jurassic Park, I started reading Crichton’s bio and realised he had written a sequel – The Lost World. While checking on Amazon, the search result also showed The Lost World by Arthur Conan Doyle. I was so surprised and even more surprised when I read the outline and realised that Conan Doyle too wrote an adventure story with dinosaurs! What fun! So I ordered both. I loved both books and I can’t believe I was not even interested in dinosaurs for so long! Funny how things change over the years – a person’s character and a person’s love for dinosaurs :).

Due to the order in which I read these books, I saw a funny contrast. A book written in 1995 and then a book written in 1912. A book with Sarah Harding and then a book with Gladys Hungerton. Sarah is a brilliant, no-nonsense and fearless biologist. Gladys is a professor’s daughter wishing only to marry a famous man. I absolutely loved Sarah’s character and her actions in Crichton’s book and to read of Gladys after her, was a big shock. I cringed whenever I read Gladys’ dialogues in Conan Doyle’s book in the first chapter. However, I had to remind myself that this was a book written in 1912, women really didn’t have any freedom to go anywhere and do anything and it was Gladys’ bad luck that she was born in that century and was the woman she was. Plus, she was Conan Doyle’s version of a woman and not really his view of ALL the women then 🙂 ( at least I hope not). Still, it was jarring to me. Now that I’m done with the book, I actually feel sorry for Gladys – maybe she did have a great spirit of adventure and danger and seeking the unknown and risking your life for those moments that make you FEEL alive – except due to the society and her upbringing, it was twisted and it finally projected out as only a childish wish to marry a famous man who had the freedom to actually go out and see danger and adventure in his life. This was a good lesson for me to learn and appreciate, when I looked at both books together. Gladys words ( that made me dislike her at first, but now I just see a suppressed adventurer, wanting to live vicariously through the man in her life :(. ): "It is never a man that I should love, but always the glories he had won; for they would be reflected upon me. Think of Richard Burton! When I read his wife’s life of him I could so understand her love! And Lady Stanley! Did you ever read the wonderful last chapter of that book about her husband? These are the sort of men that a woman could worship with all her soul, and yet be the greater, not the less, on account of her love, honored by all the world as the inspirer of noble deeds."

"If I marry, I do want to marry a famous man!"

"There are heroisms all round us waiting to be done. It’s for men to do them, and for women to reserve their love as a reward for such men. Look at that young Frenchman who went up last week in a balloon. It was blowing a gale of wind; but because he was announced to go he insisted on starting. The wind blew him fifteen hundred miles in twenty-four hours, and he fell in the middle of Russia. That was the kind of man I mean. Think of the woman he loved, and how other women must have envied her! That’s what I should like to be,–envied for my man."

Sarah’s words ( totally loved this character): In the darkened trailer, Kelly was frightened, but she was reassured at the no-nonsense way Sarah talked about weapons. And Kelly was beginning to see that Sarah didn’t let anything stop her, she just went and did it. This whole attitude of not letting other people stop you, of believing that you could do what you wanted, was something she found herself imitating.

"That’s very good," Harding said. "I think these people owe you their lives." "Not really," Kelly said, with a little shrug. Sarah shot her a look. "All your life, other people will try to take your accomplishments away from you. Don’t you take it away from yourself."

Here are my favorite bits from The Lost World, Michael Crichton:

Malcolm’s reply was immediate: "What makes you think human beings are sentient and aware? There’s no evidence for it. Human beings never think for themselves they find it too uncomfortable. For the most part, members of our species simply repeat what they are told -and become upset if they are exposed to any different view. The characteristic human trait is not awareness but conformity, and the characteristic result is religious warfare. Other animals fight for territory or food; but, uniquely in the animal kingdom, human beings fight for their ‘beliefs.’ The reason is that beliefs guide behavior, which has evolutionary importance among human beings. But at a time when our behavior may, well lead us to extinction, I see no reason to assume we have any awareness at all. We are stubborn, self-destructive conformists. Any other view of our species is just a self-congratulatory delusion. Next question."

Guitierrez shrugged. "I don’t know, but the whole attitude toward research has changed, Richard. It’s very noticeable here. Costa Rica has one of the richest ecologies in the world. Half a million species in twelve distinct environmental habitats. Five percent of all the species on the planet are represented here. This country has been a biological research center for years, and I can tell you, things have changed. In the old days, the people who came here were dedicated scientists with a passion to learn about something for its own sake-howler monkeys, or polistine wasps, or the sombrilla plant. These people had chosen their field because they cared about it. They certainly weren’t going to get rich. But now, everything in the biosphere is potentially valuable. Nobody knows where the next drug is coming from, so drug companies fund all sorts of research. Maybe a bird egg has a protein that makes it waterproof. Maybe a spider produces a peptide that inhibits blood clotting. Maybe the waxy surface of a fern contains a painkiller. It happens often enough that attitudes toward research have changed. People aren’t studying the natural world any more, they’re mining it. It’s a looter mentality. Anything new or unknown is automatically of interest, because it might have value. It might be worth a fortune."

These kids were smart, they were enthusiastic, and they were young enough so that the schools hadn’t destroyed all their interest in learning. They could still actually use their brains, which in Thorne’s view was a sure sign they hadn’t yet completed a formal education.

In the end, their differences came down to personalities. Malcolm considered Levine pedantic and fussy, preoccupied with petty details. Levine never saw the big picture. He never looked at the consequences of his actions. For his own part, Levine did not hesitate to call Malcolm imperious and detached, indifferent to details. "God is in the details," Levine once reminded him. "Maybe your God," Malcolm shot back. "Not mine. Mine is in the process."

"Now, if this picture makes sense, where does natural selection act? Does it act on the body, enlarging the brain? Does it act on the developmental sequence, pushing the kids out early? Does it act on social behavior, provoking cooperation and child-caring? Or does it act everywhere all at once – on bodies, on development, and on social behavior?" "Everywhere at once," Arby said.

She stood up. "You know about George Schaller?" "Sure. He studied pandas." "Right. Pandas, and before that, snow leopards and lions and gorillas. He’s the most important animal researcher in the twentieth century-and you know how he works?" Kelly shook her head. "Before he goes into the field, George reads everything that’s ever been written about the animal he’s going to study. Popular books, newspaper accounts, scientific papers, everything. Then he goes out and observes the animal for himself. And you know what he usually finds?" She shook her head, not trusting herself to speak. "That nearly everything that’s been written or said is wrong. Like the gorilla. George studied mountain gorillas ten years before Diane Fossey ever thought of it. And he found that what was believed about gorillas was exaggerated, or misunderstood, or just plain fantasy – like the idea that you couldn’t take women on gorilla expeditions, because the gorillas would rape them, Wrong. Everything…just… wrong." Sarah finished tying her boots, and stood. "So, Kelly, even at your young age, there’s something you might as well learn now. All your life people will tell you things. And most of the time, probably ninety-five percent of the time, what they’ll tell you will be wrong." Kelly said nothing. She felt oddly disheartened to hear this. "It’s a fact of life," Sarah said. "Human beings are just stuffed full of misinformation. So it’s hard to know who to believe. I know how you feel."

" Do you realize the limits of our understanding? Mathematically, we can describe two things interacting, like two planets in space. Three things interacting – three planets in space – well, that becomes a problem. Four or five things interacting, we can’t really do it. And inside the cell, there’s one hundred thousand things interacting. You have to throw up your hands. It’s so complex – how is it even possible that life ever happens at all?"

"This idea that the whole world is wired together is mass death. Every biologist knows that small groups in isolation evolve fastest. You put a thousand birds on an ocean island and they’ll evolve very fast. You put ten thousand on a big continent, and their evolution slows down. Now, for our own species, evolution occurs mostly through our behavior. We innovate new behavior to adapt. And everybody on earth knows that innovation only occurs in small groups. Put three people on a committee and they may get something done. Ten people, and it gets harder. Thirty people, and nothing happens. Thirty million, it becomes impossible. That’s the effect of mass media – it keeps anything from happening. Mass media swamps diversity. It makes every place the same. Bangkok or Tokyo or London: there’s a McDonald’s on one corner, a Benneton on another, a Gap across the street. Regional differences vanish. All differences vanish. In a mass-media world, there’s less of everything except the top ten books, records, movies, ideas. People worry about losing species diversity in the rain forest. But what about intellectual diversity – our most necessary resource? That’s disappearing faster than trees. But we haven’t figured that out, so now we’re planning to put five billion people together in cyberspace. And it’ll freeze the entire species. Everything will stop dead in its tracks. Everyone will think the same thing at the same time. Global uniformity."

"Are you listening to all that?" Thorne said. "I wouldn’t take any of it too seriously. It’s just theories. Human beings can’t help making them, but the fact is that theories are just fantasies. And they change. When America was a new country, people believed in something called phlogiston. You know what that is? No? Well, it doesn’t matter, because it wasn’t real anyway. They also believed that four humors controlled behavior. And they believed that the earth was only a few thousand years old. Now we believe the earth is four billion years old, and we believe in photons and electrons, and we think human behavior is controlled by things like ego and self-esteem. We think those beliefs are more scientific and better." "Aren’t they?" Thorne shrugged. "They’re still just fantasies. They’re not real. Have you ever seen a self-esteem? Can you bring me one on a plate? How about a photon? Can you bring me one of those?" Kelly shook her head. "No, but…" "And you never will, because those things don’t exist. No matter how seriously people take them," Thorne said. "A hundred years from now, people will look back at us and laugh. They’ll say, ‘You know what people used to believe? They believed in photons and electrons. Can you imagine anything so silly?’ They’ll have a good laugh, because by then there will be newer and better fantasies."

Here are my favorite bits from The Lost World, Arthur Conan Doyle:

"South America is a place I love, and I think, if you take it right through from Darien to Fuego, it’s the grandest, richest, most wonderful bit of earth upon this planet. People don’t know it yet, and don’t realize what it may become. I’ve been up an’ down it from end to end, and had two dry seasons in those very parts, as I told you when I spoke of the war I made on the slave-dealers. Well, when I was up there I heard some yarns of the same kind–traditions of Indians and the like, but with somethin’ behind them, no doubt. The more you knew of that country, young fellah, the more you would understand that anythin’ was possible–anythin’! There are just some narrow water-lanes along which folk travel, and outside that it is all darkness. Now, down here in the Matto Grande"–he swept his cigar over a part of the map–"or up in this corner where three countries meet, nothin’ would surprise me. As that chap said to-night, there are fifty-thousand miles of water-way runnin’ through a forest that is very near the size of Europe. You and I could be as far away from each other as Scotland is from Constantinople, and yet each of us be in the same great Brazilian forest. Man has just made a track here and a scrape there in the maze. Why, the river rises and falls the best part of forty feet, and half the country is a morass that you can’t pass over. Why shouldn’t somethin’ new and wonderful lie in such a country? And why shouldn’t we be the men to find it out?"

With much labor we got our things up the steps, and then, looking back, took one last long survey of that strange land, soon I fear to be vulgarized, the prey of hunter and prospector, but to each of us a dreamland of glamour and romance, a land where we had dared much, suffered much, and learned much–our land, as we shall ever fondly call it. Along upon our left the neighboring caves each threw out its ruddy cheery firelight into the gloom. From the slope below us rose the voices of the Indians as they laughed and sang. Beyond was the long sweep of the woods, and in the center, shimmering vaguely through the gloom, was the great lake, the mother of strange monsters. Even as we looked a high whickering cry, the call of some weird animal, rang clear out of the darkness. It was the very voice of Maple White Land bidding us good-bye. We turned and plunged into the cave which led to home.

PS: I was dreaming that someone should write a story where Gladys and Sarah team up and go on a dinosaur adventure of their own. And I was really hoping someone would have written more of Lord John Roxton and Edward Malone’s new adventures…

Posted by solarisgirl on 2018-10-27 13:35:05

Tagged: , books , book , The Lost World , Crichton , Conan , Doyle , bed

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