#i love 2pm ive been listening to them again

[britneyshakespeare]

man my life SUCKS. im about to be the same age junho was in my house by 2pm

[tarnishedxknight]

{out of dalmasca} Well... I'm finally home. I got home around 2:30PM. Saturday. For a same-day procedure scheduled for 4:30PM Friday that should have taken from check-in to discharge about 4-5 hours.

Yeeeeeeeah...

It. Was. An absolute nightmare. I'll briefly summarize below a cut for anyone who wants the dirt and to hear my harrowing tale of woe, lol, but long story short, it was one of the worst experiences of my life and I never want to go back to that hospital ever again, heh. Which.. is sad. I was born in that hospital. My mother was a nurse there for the majority of her career. She loved that hospital. My life was saved there when I was two and sick with JRA, and my dad's was saved when he was in his 60s and he got a rare blood infection. But this experience? -47/10 would not recommend. But it's done, the actual surgery went well, now I just have to heal up. =)

Okay, so. What happened was... someone who should've had a 2-hour surgery before me to have their appendix removed ended up having a cancerous tumor there that nobody expected. It was really in there good and wrapped around important things, and the surgery took 8 hours to safely remove it. So my appt. time was 4:30PM, I was told to get there at 2PM, I got there at 1:45PM... and I didn't have surgery until 11:45PM. It was a total fiasco of everything that could possibly go wrong... going wrong.

Machines broke down or malfunctioned. They did a random maintenance of the computer system so none of the nurse could log into their little mobile kiosk accounts. I had two different bed issues. One took three nurses to figure out how to lock it so it didn't move around (the table I was having surgery on), and the other bed (my post-op recovery bed) the nurse backed so far up that it got hiked up onto a drawer of a shelving unit behind it and then wouldn't raise or lower. When she figured this out, she closed the drawer, causing the bed to painfully and suddenly drop like 8 inches to the floor with me in it. My check-in nurse disappeared and they couldn't find him for a solid hour and I had to get another one and restart the whole process. Another forgot to take an IV port out of an elderly patient who had been next to me and let him go home with it, only to have to walk him through removing it over the phone later. None of this instilled confidence.

They put me in a room after surgery because "it's late now," and the phone didn't work in the room. Neither did the TV. That's okay because I couldn't see anything anyway AND I had no cell phone because my dad took them, because they told him he'd be coming back in a couple hours to take me home and then... just kidding. So I sat in one room for 8 hours before surgery, and then sat in another post-surgery for 13 hours. With. Nothing to do (except they did have a passable portable tv in the first room, which I'll get to in a second). Unable to see or make calls. And I had none of my meds that prevent other serious medical issues while sleep so......... I couldn't sleep. I had to fight to stay away or risk things going wrong in other ways. Dear gods, the boredom and stress.

I was put in a room with a terminally ill cancer patient who wanted to chat and tell me in gory detail everything about her illness. That... was not what I needed right just then. Then, she kept like... I would push the call button (once I found out where it was because nobody told me), and because I was hidden in the back and she was by the door, they would just ask her what she wanted, she'd get help to do this that or whatever, and then they'd leave again without even talking to me.

Just outside our room was the man who had the appendix out. He was shrieking, crying, and moaning all night long because he was in pain, and they couldn't give him anything for it because his blood pressure had bottomed out. It was like something out of a horror movie, except real, to listen to the sounds of agony this poor man was making. Extremely upsetting. I cried twice just because I had a visceral human response to the sounds he was making. Another reason why I got no sleep.

I am supposed to be on a low fat diet, at least until I heal. Also, when you have GE surgery, the last thing you want is to drink caustic acid. So what do they bring me for breakfast? Orange juice, raw pineapple, and tart strawberries (I could feel them all burning on the way down, I was in agony), and then scrambled eggs with melted cheese, fried breakfast sausages, and fried potatoes. Like. What the actual fuck. And coffee. I detest coffee. When I asked for tea I got looked at funny and told they couldn't give that to me. Apparently hot tea is a burn risk, but hot coffee is fine. Yeah, okay, sure. Tell that to that woman who sued McDonalds for burning her own lap. I couldn't eat the potatoes, they were so dry I was afraid of choking on them, it was ridiculous. But I ate and drank as much as I could because, all told during this process, I had gone 17.5 hours without water, and about 21 hours without food.

The reason they kept me overnight was because my surgeon just left afterward. He didn't talk to me, didn't give discharge orders, didn't say anything, he just left. Then, as of like 6AM when they called him, he didn't answer, until around 12PM when they gave up and called another doctor, who basically said yeah I'm busy I'll get to it when I get to it. Hence me not being released until 2PM.

And the pain is..... omg intense. Debilitating. Not at all what was described to me as what to expect. And I'm no wuss, I've been in and out of hospitals since I was two, I have 10 piercings, I had all four wisdom teeth extracted and was eating pizza later that same day lol, and I have a very high pain threshold, so for me to say the pain is A Lot™ is.... yeah. This is hell. I am in hell. XD

But I am home now and I just need to somehow get through the next few days until the pain gets better and my life gets more normal. My sleep schedule is all messed up and the pain is distracting, so I'm not sure when I'm going to be on to write. Over the next 3 days or so, I'll do what I can, when I can. If I feel like it's comforting and therapeutic, I will. If not, I won't.

BUT... the one ray of light in this hellish process was that in the room I was in for 8 hours the first time, they had a TV, and even though everything was blurry without my glasses, I found a channel playing movies. I got to watch the classic Ghostbusters II, which I love, and then they had back to back Iron Man and Iron Man 2. Got all the way through them, and then they moved me 10 minutes before IM2 ended, which was... rude. I've already seen it but still. That's so annoying. XD

The funny thing was, the night before surgery I was so anxious I couldn't sleep, so I was on my phone watching and listening to random videos and music. I found my favorite music video of Tony Stark/Iron Man that I hadn't seen in a long time, and it was weird for me to click on it because lately I haven't been writing him and I felt a bit detached from the character. So I thought it was funny that I randomly watched that the night before, and then I'm in the hospital watching Iron Man movies on their TV, haha. Needless to say, my muse for Tony is now through the roof, so... that's going to be a thing for a while.

Weirdly enough, watching Tony going through all the medical stuff with his reactor, and watching him battle his own anxiety and neuroticism, was strangely comforting to me sitting hours on end in a hospital awaiting surgery having one panic attack after another. I know, it makes no sense, you'd really think it'd make me more nervous, or that it would exacerbate my anxiety, but you'd be wrong. Neurodivergence ftw, heh. XD

Anyway, I'm home, I'm hurting, but I'm okay. And actually, despite everything going wrong, my actual surgery apparently went "perfect textbook" well. So that's the most important thing. I may be lurking for a couple days unless I get better sleep and my pain gets to a level where I can do more with my brain than just sit here and think.... ow. XD I'll see how I feel in the next few days and if I need to extend my hiatus from my regular rp schedule further, I'll let everyone know.

[wickymicky]

after just watching Sihyeon onstage for like two years and not really checking out much of Everglow’s offstage content at all, i really had no idea that she’d be one of the funniest and just most naturally goofy idols i’ve come across haha. idk, like i’m not trying to downplay her charisma onstage, because she definitely has a lot and she is getting better with every comeback, but just based on how she is there... i thought she would be a lot more laid back offstage than she actually is hahaha. 

[perahn]

Palliative Nursing

One of my patients died today.

I first met Arthur a couple of months ago. I’m a community and palliative nurse primarily, but I was covering a shift on the ward. He’d been transferred over from another hospital. I never really worked out why, since he was only coming in overnight before being discharged home.

When I came in, his wife Anne was trying to comfort him. He had only received his diagnosis recently – prostate cancer, which had spread to his bones and his brain – and he desperately wanted to go home. He was also frustrated to the point of tears at the way his body had betrayed him. He had been strong and independent, and now he was tired and weak. The struggle to find the words he wanted left long gaps in his speech, and so often neither Anne nor I could help.

He wanted to die. He wanted – he could convey that much – to leave the world ‘with dignity’; if it was time for him to go, he wanted to go. And Anne sat there, and tried to soothe and calm him. He wanted euthanasia, and he could not have it, and I was never sure whether she wanted that for him, or if she wanted to hold onto him as long as she could.

The next time I saw him, he was home again. They’d been in the process of selling their house and downsizing, but Anne cancelled it. So Arthur came home to a warm, sunlit room with an en suite, and they moved their bed down into it. He was a different man when I saw him at home. The words that had deserted him in hospital came more easily, and he smiled, and he could enjoy food again. By about my third or fourth visit – I was seeing him twice a week at that stage, just making sure he had everything he needed to be comfortable at home – he was telling Anne it was a pity all their sons were married and he couldn’t have me in the family.

He had time and support. His daughter Eden moved in for a while; his son and grandchildren live next door. The weather turned warmer, and he sat out in the garden. The family gathered around him, and they took a photo. He was, for the most part, free of pain. You don’t expect that once it gets into the bones, but I am grateful for it.

There is a distance, and there has to be. You aren’t there for every step of the journey, and you come into it as a stranger. Anne woke every time he did, and walked him to the toilet. She coaxed him to eat, helped him use the walker, rubbed ointment into his swelling legs and reminded him to elevate them. She nursed him, and so did Eden. I… stepped in for the other parts. The paperwork. The questions you never think about until someone you love is dying. How do you, and what if, and when, and what do we do about -?

There were changes, last week. Words began to slip away again, and sitting up grew harder. I asked Anne if they wanted a bedside commode for him, so she didn’t have to walk him all the way to the toilet three times a night. She said no, that the exercise was good for him, and they were managing. Then she rang the next day, told me he’d slipped while trying to sit on the toilet, and maybe they’d better have one after all. So my boss Sam and I got one out to their house on Friday. Eden followed me out to the car. She didn’t want to ask in front of Anne, but what needed to happen if, or when, Arthur died? Who did they call, what did they do about his body?

It was a long weekend, and we had the Monday off. Anne rang Tuesday morning. Arthur had significantly deteriorated over the weekend, she told us. She and Eden couldn’t get him up, and they’d been nursing him in bed. His painkillers didn’t seem to be helping as much, because he was restless, turning in bed and plucking at his clothes. My boss covered two of my patients so I could go see Arthur as soon as possible.

Anne was curled up beside him in their bed. Other family members were gathered around, and one of them left the bedside so I could go talk to him. “Here’s Katherine,” Anne said, and Arthur opened his eyes and reached out his hand. He tried to say something as I took and held it. I know he recognised me, even if I couldn’t understand what he wanted to say.

Later I came back with a syringe driver. We use these a lot in palliative care: little machines that very slowly administer a dose into the subcutaneous tissue over 24 hours. Usually, like this one, they’re loaded with morphine, for the pain; midazolam, for agitation and the restlessness that comes over the body in dying; and metoclopramide, for the nausea the morphine can cause. They’re smaller, simpler, and less invasive than an IV line, or repeatedly sticking someone with needles. Arthur didn’t even flinch as I put the first line in, or the second one. The second one is for top-up doses; I used it immediately to give him a loading dose, then taught Eden and her brother how to access it if they needed to give him more pain relief. I left an envelope with the verification of death form at the house.

I left the house not long before seven pm. According to the roster, I’d been supposed to finish at 4:30. That was all right.

The syringe driver runs over 24 hours, but I stopped in to see Arthur and his family around 11am. Arthur was lying on his side. Eden had needed to give him some extra, and so had Anne, but on the whole he’d had a good night, they told me. He didn’t respond this time, although he called out hoarsely a few times. I gave him another top-up, and told Anne I’d be back to change the syringe driver once I’d spoken to the doctor.

I discussed how much top-up Arthur had needed with the doctor, and then one of the other nurses made up the new syringe with me, and my boss covered a patient appointment I had, and I went out to Arthur around 2pm.

Eden was in the front room, continuing to work from home; Anne was on the lounge with a laptop. Arthur had been so peaceful and quiet, she thought she’d get the laundry and a few other things done. Anne and I went in, and she told him I was here to change the medicine, and she’d help him roll over so I could reach. She reached out and touched him, and then she turned to look at me.

“He isn’t-” and she backed away.

I checked the carotid artery.

“I’m sorry,” I said to Anne. “He’s gone.”

And then I held her as she wept.

She was so devastated. She hadn’t been there for him as he died. He’d been alone and she’d been sitting outside, and she hadn’t known.

And it doesn’t matter how many hours she lay beside him, how poorly she slept, half-listening and ready to help the moment he stirred, night after night, the literal around-the-clock nursing she gave him, the long years they lived together. It doesn’t matter how hard, physically and emotionally, it is to support someone you love dying at home, how much she and Eden had gladly sacrificed to give him what he wanted. It doesn’t matter how many people do die alone, waiting for the moment everyone’s back is turned to slip away in privacy. None of that softens the pain, not in a moment like that.

I pray they will eventually.

I got Eden for her, slipped out to the car to get what I needed, and to give them time to themselves.

They had him cuddled between the two of them when I came back, and eventually they chose to leave the room so I could do the necessary things.

I rolled him onto his back, heard the faint groans. Wiped his mouth and crusted eyelids. Removed the lines I’d put in yesterday, straightened his shirt. I was talking to him, every step. It’s just something you find yourself doing. “Sorry, Arthur. I’ve just got to roll you over and get these lines out. I’m sorry if this hurts...”

It’s… not an easy thing, verifying a death. I had thought he was dead the moment I came into the room, and I’d checked for a pulse. Even so, part of you almost refuses to be sure. His hands were so cold, but his throat was still warm. I couldn’t feel a pulse, but maybe that just meant I was doing it wrong (I knew I wasn’t, but what if? What if I had hurt these people so much, and I was wrong, and I had to go tell them he was still alive, and however would they cope with that?) I put a stethoscope to his unmoving chest and listened for a heartbeat, or for breath. I couldn’t hear anything, but I was breathing very loudly myself in my mask – would I hear it? Wasn’t his chest moving, just the tiniest bit? I had to rub his sternum very hard to see if there was any movement away from the stimulus, and I apologised.

Then I lifted his eyelids. ‘Fixed and dilated pupils’ is what the form says, clinical terminology that is accurate as far as it goes. What it means is that you look into those eyes, and they are still and glassy, and the soul behind them is gone.

I could doubt the rest of the tests. Not that one.

I went out, told them I was finished. We talked; I told them what an amazing job they’d done, how proud they should be, all the things that don’t mean anything to them right at the moment, but might later. I stepped into another room to ring the doctor and let her know. I filled out the verification of death form and hid it away in a plain white envelope. Eden rang her brother, and again we went over the final things to be done. Here’s the form. Ring the funeral directors when you’re ready for them to come pick Arthur up. There’s no rush. Call anyone else you think will want to come say goodbye. Give yourselves as much time as you need.

Eden’s brother arrived. She’d sent him a text to come over, but hadn’t wanted to say why. So he came striding in with a cheery ‘hello’, and Eden said ‘He’s gone’, and she choked, and he crumpled. He went softly into the room where Anne was lying beside Arthur, stroking his face and murmuring to him. Too softly; he touched Anne’s arm and she jumped.

Clearly despite herself, Eden laughed.

“I thought for a moment,” Anne said, “that he’d fooled us all. That he was just pretending.”

Which hurt, and still hurts, and I shall remember.

When I left them, it was with the three of them clustered around the bed, the son trying not to cry. They didn’t need me, but I’d drop by in a couple of days if they wanted, I said quietly.

Anne would like that, she told me, and she thanked me for all I’d done. That Arthur had always been glad to see me. “He had his favourite nurse,” she added. “Beautiful Katherine, he said.”

I don’t understand the depth of grace that lets you say something like that in the midst of such terrible grief, but I shall remember that, too.

The last time I made a post a bit like this, I had a little bit of a moral to share. I don’t, this time. I am writing because it helps me process, and I shared it because…well, I still think we need to talk about dying, I suppose, and this is a way to add to the conversation. Because it is such an honour and extraordinary privilege to be a palliative nurse. Because some of you might, like my patients and their families, have questions you don’t know how to ask. Because it touched me, and it might do the same for you. Because love and grief and service to each other are such essential parts of our humanity.

Eternal rest grant unto him, o Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Amen.

[rylie-studies]

hihiiiiii how’s your day been?

Ive actually had a really good day so far (it’s only 2pm) :DDD

I was actually able to sleep in for once which was nice, especially since I was so tired from spending yesterday stitching notebooks & scoring/folding covers & pages for them.

Also I finally cleaned my desk :D! I cleaned the rest of my room the other day but left my desk bc it was a whole other level of messy & I had no energy left lmao. I feel so much better now that all that dust is gone, I’m allergic to dust & it’d been causing a lot of problems lately bc I hadn’t cleaned in so long.

Also I lit a new candle when I was done w my desk & it smells so gooddddd, it’s meant to smell like some blend of flowers but I don’t remember what they are whoops. Do you have any favourite candles/candle scents?

- 🦇

hey sweets!! i’m doing well, it’s currently four in the afternoon and i’m about to dive into doing some italian whilst listening to some italian songs and trying to keep myself warm. there’s supposed to be a huge snowstorm hitting where i live tomorrow morning and i can definitely see the beginnings of it today!! i’m thinking a lot about the homeless people though and i just hope that they’re given a shelter to go in so they’re not outside freezing. nonetheless, my day has been well and i hope yours too!! 

i’m so glad that you got to sleep in!! i’ve been sleeping in a lot these days too and it’s nice, but i’ve noticed that maybe, just maybe, i’ve been doing it way too often and i gotta start getting up earlier again. i feel so much better when i wake up early yet i always find so many things to do at night. also, a clean desk is always nice!! i’m proud of you for that accomplishment!! tbh, i find that i really cannot function well when there’s clutter so i always gotta keep things neat and organized. honestly though, the feeling of satisfaction and freshness you get after decluttering your space is incomparable, it’s literally so incredible. 

also omg candles!! you’re really living up to the cozy aesthetic, my friend. okay tbh i’ve always wanted to start using candles, but i’m always a bit worried that i’ll forget about it or it causes a mess. i’ve also never liked using matches or lighters, i’m not sure why, but yeah i remember having to use one for one of the labs we did in a chemistry class and omg i was freaking out a bit. i mean, i love fire like especially in a campfire and i enjoy the smell of it too (perhaps i’m weird but that’s alright), but yeah i tend to overthink things sometimes. i might start buying some candles soon though and trying it out!! 

i hope you’re having a lovely and cozy day, lovely!! make sure to stay warm and safe wherever you are!! and thank you for stopping by, i always love hearing about what other people are up to in their own little bubble!! ✨

[parkjmini]

kpop tag

ive been tagged by my beautiful bub @citruscake !! thank you for tagging me in such a fun lil tag !! i dont really express which groups i stan or what im into besides park jimin, so i figured i should expose a little more to myself?? 

Ultimate bias? park jimin ((it use to be kwon jiyong for the longest time b4 i officially changed it to my bub and im telling u it was very hard for me to make that decision bc i have a tendency to be rly devoted to a certain person for a long time))

Ultimate Bias Wrecker? i dont really have one tbh

Favourite Kpop song(s)? uh i got a few hold up

babe - hyuna  gashina - sunmi dna/pied piper/dimples/house of cards/lost/i like it ((pt2 as well)/coffee - bts sting - stellar  one love/amen/perfect girl/the whole the clan pt2.5 album - monsta x teenager/something good/my home/dont care/i keep looking/sign - got7 fool - bigbang the entire no.5 album/majority of gentlemen’s game - 2PM solo/yacht/mommae - jay park im good - henry that xx/divina commedia - gdragon JELLY - HOTSHOT IS SO GOOD 10029/10 WOULD RECOMMEND trauma/check it/highlight - seventeen arrived - jessi oasis/hug me - crush bermuda triangle/artist - zico

this is just a shorter list of some of my ult favs and newer favs !!

First Kpop Song? my first kpop kpop song would be haru haru ((i think)) by bigbang 

Favourite Kpop Album/Single? 2PM: no.5  BTS: her / blood sweat tears  GOT7: departure / fly  MONSTA X: the clan pt2.5 / All In or Beautiful 

Favourite Kpop Ship? ot7 got7 lol like lets be real here theyre my bias group and my lil family

Hard Stan or Soft Stan? dependent on the group honestly nvm im hard af fuck my previous thought 

Favourite Kpop company? i dont have one they all suck 

Backstory of how you got into Kpop?

2009: so i bought a new ipod nano right it was like b4 mp4 players were in mobile devices and i have an older cousin shes like older by 4 yrs and i was 9 at the time and i wasnt as tech savvy as a 12 yr old would be so i asked if she could download songs for me and i didnt really request any songs, she just gave me some of her songs from her own playlist and what do u kno let me hear your voice by bigbang was one of them !! being super like curious as to what i was listening to i searched them up and i fell in love w gd in that mv like WOW his BLOND got me right in my 9 yr old heart and i started to listen to their other songs which i really loved and i loved a lot of taeyang’s solo songs like look only at me and wedding dress that was my shit and i ended up watching a few wonder girls/2ne1 mvs

2013: i faded out of kpop and didnt really know what was happening anymore in that realm and i was watching bubzbeauty and her background music was an instrumental of cafe by bigbang (which is SUCH a BOP) and i really liked it so i searched it up bc i knew she was a fan of bb as well and i was like oh hey its bigbang i wonder how theyve been and at the time their recent song was like FANTASTIC BABY so u could imagine how turned off i was by them LOLOL but i couldnt get over how much i liked cafe and then some of their other songs and im tellin u jiyong SNATCHED my heart AGAIN after like an idle 4 years HE DID THAT !! and bb/2ne1/mostly yg artist was the only groups i listened to bc i didnt really think to venture out of them bc bb was my rock i loved bigbang and i didnt want to leave then i got my friends into kpop and one of them actually showed me bts bc she didnt rlly care abt group hopping and so bts was my second boy group that i got into and now im here in 2017 still listening to kpop !!1!! 

now that im done rambling lol, i tag my cuties @kyunggii , @kapparel , @thiccjm , @xkatanax , @peachiejihoonie , @sunnysidewrites , and @famfamella ((you guys dont have to do this bc i know its long and sorry if im being annoying by tagging u in all these tag games ))-: ))

[youngkaes]

i was tagged by one of my most fave people, @kangyungbrian, thank you ashleyy  ❤💕

The last….

- Drink: i think pepsi?

- Phone call: my brother

- Text Message: my fran

- Song you listened to: currently listening to day6′s man in a movie

- Time you cried: earlier today

Have you ever….

- Dated someone twice: ye

- Kissed someone and regretted it: ye

- Been cheated on: ye

- Lost someone special: yes

- Been depressed: yes

- Gotten drunk and thrown up: no? one time i threw up a few hours later after having maybe two drinks on an empty stomach, so i think i just had an upset stomach

Three favorite colors…

seafoam green, “millennial” pink, black 

In the last year have you….

- Made new friends: yes! ive made a few online and irl

- Laughed until you cried: ye

- Found out that someone was talking about you: no, thankfully

- Met someone who changed you: ye. wish i never met them :)

- Found out who your friends are: i dont know?

- Kissed someone on your facebook list: i dont have facebook 

__

- Do you have any pets: my mom and i take care of my brothers dog

- Do you want to change your name: not my first name, but i do want to change my last name to have it be the same as my moms

- What did you do for your last birthday: i went to chicago with a couple of friends, but it wasnt for my bday, it was just coincidence. i actually hate my bday

- What time did you wake up: 10am, then i went back to sleep till almost 2pm. i work an overnight shift tonight at work, so i tried staying up all night so i dont fall asleep halfway during my shift.

- What were doing last night at midnight: watching how to get away with murder on netflix

- Name something you can’t wait for: finishing paying off my hospital bills

- When was the last time you saw your mom: she popped her head into my room a couple hours ago offering me food

- What are you listening to rn: still listening to day6, the song playing rn is Out of My Mind

- Have you ever talked to someone named Tom: no, but i did occasionally speak to this guy in high school named Tam, pronounced “t-AH-m” he insisted it was diff from the pronunciation of Tom

- Something that gets on your nerves: when im at work and customers waste my time to get a shirt thats high up on the wall...and the tall stick hook thing to get those items is literally right fucking there...”oh but you can probably get it easier than me” bitch, you got broken arms or....???

- Most visited website: tumblr or youtube

- Hair color: its black but ive dyed it a dark brown/auburn is color. im gonna be dying it soon again

- Long or short hair: long, im trying to grow my hair out as long as possible rn

- Do you have a crush on someone: not really? idk

- What do you like about yourself: i use my turn signal unlike some heathens

- Blood type: idk man, at this point my blood is probably only red bc of all the hot cheetos i consume

- Nickname: rena :)

- Relationship status: single, as long as this tool stops texting me

- Zodiac: technically aries/taurus cusp but taurus is def more closer to my personality so taurus

- Pronouns: she\her

- Favorite T.V. Shows: how to get away with murder, shameless, and supernatural

- Tattoos: none, but i want some

- Right or Left-handed: right

- Surgery: none

- Sport: haha what that

- Vacation: i wanna go to italy, or london

- Pair of shoes: my fave pair atm are my pink vans

- Eating: nothing but after i post this im gonna eat an orange

- Drinking: nothing

- I’m about to: watch youtube vids

- Waiting for: 10:30pm so i can leave the house and go to work

- Want: a new pillow and mattress, ive been having back and neck problems lately

- Get married: i dont think anyone will ever want to marry me??? idk if i even want to marry yet??

- Career: idk yet, something where i dont hate waking up everyday that’s for sure

Which is better?

- Hugs or kisses: hugs

- Lips or eyes: eyes

- Shorter or taller: i dont really have a preference

- Older or younger: for dating i usually got for older, but in general idc

- Nice arms or stomach: how about just a nice personality and bank account

- Hook up or relationship: relationship

- Troublemaker or hesitant: i guess, hesitant?? not quite sure what this is asking

Have you…

- Kissed a stranger: no

- Drunken hard liquor: nope

- Lost glasses/contact lenses: i havent worn contacts in a couple years but oh my god i hate when you dROP IT AND YOU CANT FIND IT ANYWHERE so you get another contact out but after you already put it in is when you find the one you dropped kagfidhkjahsp 

ive never really lost my glasses tho, so thats good

- Turned someone down: ye

- Sex on the first date: no

- Broken someone’s heart: i mean, yeah? idk, thats such a weird question since it should be the other party telling, i cant tell you for sure i broke someone’s heart, i dont feel what they’re feeling???

- Had a broken heart: yes

- Been arrested: no

- Cried when someone died: yes

- Fallen for a friend: yes

Do you believe in…

- Yourself: nah

- Miracles: no

- Love at first sight: no

- Santa Claus: nope

- Kiss on the first date: if both people want to then that’s their choice, idc 

i just tag my mutuals :)

[monbabi]

Get to know me tag tagged by the sweet @monstafeels !! rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (oh god do i even kno 20 ppl) The last Drink: some strange soda tht i didn't like Phone call: my mom!! about the house we could move into Text message: "tht is the ugliest goddamn hat i have ever seen" Song i’ve listened to: mr. badboy by wjsn!!!!! Time you cried: uhh last night bc i was watching kihyun fancams snsjshdhfknsjf Have you 6. Dated someone twice: nope! 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: my first and only kiss was my friend's dog and it was the best thing thts ever happened to me 8. Been cheated on: if my only kiss has been a dog do u think ive been cheated on 9. Lost someone special: oh yea definitely 10. Been depressed: haha u mean my entire life? oh heck yea 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: never been drunk enough to throw up 12- 14. List three favorite colors: pink, orange, yellow !! the last 2 get way too much shit but they are BEAUTIFUL COLORS!!! In the last year have you 15. Made new friends: yea!!! 16. Fallen out of love: yea :/ 17. Laughed until you cried: YEA me and my friend were looking at this sweet potato that looked like a dick in ap bio it was so funny 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yea 👀 19. Met someone who changed you: yea!! 20. Found out who your friends are: mmm sure? 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope General 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them! i dont give online friends my fb bc i dont want tht to intermingle w my irl friends lmao 23. Do you have any pets: multiple fish!! theres lulu, nunu, ora, gummy, chimmie, moomoo, and alla!! moomoo is pregnant im so excited!!!!!! 24. Do you want to change your name: back when i was a kid yea but now i love my name!! maybe one day i'll tell u guys my name but u can keep calling me en 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: went to a restaurant w my friends then we crashed in my room and watched hamster cooking videos 26. What time do you wake up: um depends on if someone wakes me up or not but by myself i wake up around 12-2PM LMAO 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching pristin videos snshsgd 28. Name something you can’t wait for: MONSTA X BEAUTIFUL TOUR IN LA 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: last night! 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: um the entire time period from age 7 to age 14 31. What are you listening right now: humble by kendrick lamar 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: uh maybe like a white man at a club event but not anyone my age 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: not having the time to do anything 34. Most visited website: probably youtube 35. Moles: yikes i have a lot but the ones on my face are one of my left cheek near my philtrum and one on my left eyelid matching w jooheon :') 36. Marks: i have a birthmark on my left calf and a scar on my right knee from playing basketball 38. Hair color: black but the sun is turning it brown lmao 39. Long or short hair: eh its kinda long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: i used to but i found out she was straight so :/ 41. What do you like about yourself: my empathy 42. Piercings: only my left ear :'( im gonna repierce my right ear and get a second one on my left 43. Bloodtype: type o! 44. Nickname: uh w/o giving much abt my real name, my friends call me hoho sometimes 45. Relationship status: single :') 46. Zodiac: libra! 47. Pronouns: she/they 48. Favorite TV Show: not to be a weeb but im literally obsessed with kamisama hajimemashita 49. Tattoos: no but i wanna get them in the future!! 50. Right or left hand: right! 51. Surgery: uhhhhhh none 52. Hair dyed in different color: NO but i really wanna dye it a dusty pink so hopefully i get tht done soon 53. Sport: i used to be pretty good at basketball idk what happened i like volleyball and badminton tho 55. Vacation: i LOVE vietnam i wanna go back again 56. Pair of trainers: 2! a pair each nike and adidas MORE GENERAL 57. Eating: i jus ate my entire weight in pad thai 58. Drinking: uh rn? nothing 59. I’m about to: leave work! 61. Waiting for: monsta x’s first win (im leaving this here bc i agree) 62. Want: fishnet stockings and too faced peach palette 63. Get married: yea!! 64. Career: business! specifically marketing WHICH IS BETTER 65.Hugs or kisses: hugs bc kisses embarrass me 66. Lips or eyes: oh my godd i love both but i think i have a softer spot for eyes 😣 67. Shorter or taller: taller bc lets face it: im 5'1" i never get called to help grab anything 68. Older or younger: both are cool but bc im fairly young, older seems nice 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms, i dig big meaty claws 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive bc im so easily startled 72. Hookup or relationship: relationship! 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker i have enough reluctance in me for abt half the population HAVE YOU EVER: 74.Kissed a stranger: nah 75: Drank hard liquor: yea ive had a bit of whiskey, it was okay 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: YES it was terrible 77. Turned someone down: yea :/ sorry to the ppl ive turned down 78. Sex on the first date: this bussy is closed 79. Broken someone’s heart: idk maybe? 80. Had your heart broken: um by tht straight girl? maybe jus a bit 81. Been arrested: nah 82. Cried when someone died: oh most definitely 83. Fallen for a friend: uhh in the past yea DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: i jus snorted in incredulity 85. Miracles: mm yea 86. Love at first sight: no i think love is much deeper than tht and it needs to be developed and understood from each side 87. Santa Claus: i never did 88. Kiss on the first date: yea sure why not 89. Angels: yes! OTHER:
90. Current best friend's name: i dont have one sole Best Friend™ i have multiple and i dont wanna reveal their name 
91. Eye color: dark brown
92. Favorite movie: hmmm spirited away okay um im jus gonna tag 20 ppl tht i see often or their url jus stuck w me and im jus too shy to make friends @blossomkth @limechangkyun @hyunqvwon @glued-to-astro @chaerismatic @eggchen @userlessgirl @jessthedemigod @sonuwoo @hotseok @imwinwinswifey @ykhyun okay i give up im too lazy for this shit