#i love !!!!!!!! getting sad !!!!!!! for something !!!!!! that i shouldve moved on from !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Quick lore question, did marie considering the idea of replacing 4 play into the insecurities she has later?
Absolutely.
I wanna preface this by saying one thing: Young 4 was a COMPLETELY different person before she got recruited by Marie. And Marie...responds to her accordingly.
Long read abt Hero2 events below!! Its. A lil messy sorry qisjke these are my notes
Young 4? A bitch.
Everything she ever wanted was given to her. Moved out of the highlands with an ego the size of a planet (and also bc she felt suffocated there), thinking she can make it in the big city.
...she struggled to make it alone. She had moved out bc her family was suffocating her with love, but now theyre not here, so now she feels homesick and underappreciated.
All that is expressed by her harsh, bitchy attitude. Shes gonna be mean bc no one has seen her for who she is. She'll show them!!
She finds her way around like this, and discovers that shes just as good at turf war here and at home. In fact, shes *so* good that she got the status of a rising star!
It aaalll just gets into her head. Shes "proven everyone wrong" now. Shes got the superiority complex and can back it up.
Marie...
...saw this. She was looking for a new agent to help find the missing zapfish. The second 4 heard this from her, she flexed her arms and...
"Look no further, your hero is RIGHT HERE!"
Marie at first adored the spunkiness of this new agent. Uuuntil 4 started thinking that shes better than her.
"Watch out, Agent Four!"
"You watch YOURSELF, grandma! Think Im a damn idiot to not see that coming? WAHA!"
Marie rolled up her sleeves after several stages full of her ignoring orders or sassing her out of nowhere.
Is that how shes gonna be? Fine.
When 4 finally trips and falls, hard, on a particularly difficult level, Marie pulls her to the side to fix her up and give her a lecture that tore her fucking ego to shreds.
She says something so fucking harsh like "That attitude will make SURE that you die sad and alone. I wonder how anyone puts up with you."
4s too hurt by her own failure to say anything back.
The reality of war finally gives her a reality check. Each victory is earned. its her life on the line. And the world.
She regains her spunk after saving the world.
------
Silly 4. She gets the job done but it takes a LOT of pushing in the mid-stages. Its like she got legitimately bored after the initial super easy ones, and thought the entire campaign a joke.
She went back to her turfing life topside between stages. And she takes a WHILE to come back to her missions -- usually late!! And then before she even goes in she just HAS to yak Marie's face off with what she was doing up there.
"Youre late."
"You shouldve SEEN ME, Marie!! I was carrying that Rainmaker round! I was-"
"Pray tell, Agent Four. How will you keep participating in turf with the Zapfish gone?"
"Whaat? Cmon. Nothing seems to be changing! Theres still power through the city!"
"The backup supply wont last forever, you know."
"Yeah yeah. Okay. Im here now. Wheres the next kettle?"
This attitude is from her high school days, clearly. She breezes by everything so fast that she can afford to do things last minute. It affects even this.
That, alongside her talking smack back to Marie, is what makes her snap at 4. Its what makes 4 stick to the mission fully starting late area 4 and area 5. (This is also around the time 4s life was threatened. God help me in those stupid platforming stages)
Post Hero2, 4 more or less does what 3 does. Shes the "replacement" til 3 comes back. (That cant be good for her confidence.)
At the same time, she has to deal with Callie and Marie talking out what the fuck Callie did with Octaria. "THEY SQUIDNAPPED GRAMPS!!!" and all. Why help them??? They get into squabbles where 4 was the unfortunate witness to. And peacemaker. It does NOT help that Callie for a while kept putting the glasses back on!!!
4 wishes so bad she had help of any sort. She feels 3 might be able to do something but what does she know?? Shes never met em!! She just imagines what the missing agent would do in that situation.
Callie...was also the person she got close to. Shes fun (unlike the stuck up Marie), shes empathic, she opened 4s eyes to the Octarian plight. It made her acceptance of 8 later much smoother.
Im not saying shes not close to Marie either, I bet they healed their relationship around this year too. Marie's sorry she tore 4s ego the way she did (even if deserved...). Marie's much more supportive of what 4s doing topside. Shes expressing her pride in the agent she found much more openly. (She brags abt her to Callie at times.)
The three of them heal together in that time. 4 sees them as older sisters Im p sure. Theyre both giving her tips for turfing and -- Marie even helps her with homework, HAH
And...while I say that 4 and Marie are in better terms, there are still days where Marie blows up on her. Lesser extent than before, but shes *worried* for her agent! (Its a similar plight 3 has.) In those times, its Callie who has her back. ("Hey! Its not like shes not trying!!" Callie understands how it is, and she also knows Marie best -- shes the one who makes 4 understand where Marie is coming from.)
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ok idk if this is me wishing it or it could count as st5 prediction/speculation but since we got that pic of will, mike, holly biking around and holly is like 90% confirmed to be the missing kid in S5EP2, imagine if storyline goes like this:
EP1 is when the "what painting?" conversation happens between mike and el
i don't think this is when they will break up, but mike discovering that all will said to him was not from el, would be the seed of him questioning the state of his relationship with el
S4 Mike still think that the most important thing in his life is being El's boyfriend, but him realizing that El might not love or need him in the way he thought she would would be the catalyst of him starting to accept that this relationship might not be something worth continuing
I don't think Mike has clocked Will's feelings towards him yet by the time he finds out the painting wasnt commissioned by El
Will comes out to his mother, mike, el, lucas and dustin
it will be heartwarming and sweet, el and joyce will immediately tell him that he's so brave, lucas and dustin will be shocked at first but they will quickly move past it and go in for the hug
mike, however, will stand, alone and frozen on his feet. i think this will definitely causes him to question his own feelings. realizing that homosexuality isnt something thats a taboo. that it is real and his best friend is gay. boys can be.
this is when his own internalized homophobia will surmount, when he will question his own sexuality, and it will scare and confuse him and he will remove himself from the premise. he needs to get away
everyone, especially will of course will take it as mike being homophobic and unaccepting
el might confront him, which can lead to another fight. adding further cracks to their relationship
will might try to talk to him, sad scene. will genuinely thinking it might be the end of their friendship
but mike will pivot the conversation, he will bring up the painting.
mike tells will that he is angry that he'd lied to him.
will apologizes, but mike is still irrationally angry
he accuses will of ruining his relationship w/ el. which got will confused bc didnt he help mike to say i love you to el?
(mike of course wont be able to rationalize this. inside he is angry because he realizes that this relationship shouldve died in the first place, and now he's at the point where he thinks he cannot break up with el. not after the confession.)
"it's not my fault that you don't love her the way you said you do!" will cries out, "i'm sorry for lying to you about the painting, alright? but you can't blame me for whatever is going on between you two."
"but do you?"
"what?"
"do you love me the way you said you did?"
"what do you mean-"
mike steps closer to him, "everything you told me about how el felt towards me, all of it was you, wasn't it?"
and because ST loves interruptions, this is when something or someone cut their conversation, leaving it hanging in the air. this is when everything related to will shifts for mike.
mike will start to clue in will's feelings for him and realizing that the idea of being loved romantically by him actually delights him.
mike will cope with his own sexuality and feelings for will vs relationship with el, he might out some distance against will and el as he does this.
will is heartbroken, he thinks their friendship is forever broken because will has ruined mike and el's relationship with his lie and will knows that mike probably knows his feelings for him and hates him even deeper because of it
this is when vecna comes in and fucks with will's head. starts to isolate him with his surroundings.
EP2: apocalyptic hawkins, everyone is assigned with something. someone from the adults assigned mike and will to do an errand while accompanying holly to go to a friend's house or a park or whatever.
will might try to protest, but holly insists for will to come bc she enjoys his company and mike reluctantly agrees
tense moments shared between byler with holly as the buffer
something happens to holly, she's taken. this will be the event that causes mike and will to stick together throughout the season, confronting each other and their feelings for each other.
YEAH SO IDK I WANT THIS TO HAPPEN IN ST5
#byler#byler endgame#byler s5#st5 speculation#stranger things#st5#mike wheeler#will byers#holly wheeler
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Wait can we get a storytime on the ex guy best friend? Because oh my god those TEXTS? Pls feed me more
hehehe okay, let me give you some of the main points baby i gotchu
We met freshman year of college (in a very religious school), I was freshly 18 and we were both in this student-run university residence hall organization. I hated him at first because I thought he was sooo conceded and a douchebag (and we were also fighting for the top of our class, we both had perfect gpa's and I wanted to be better than him so #academicrivals)
There was a retreat for our organization so we ended up being in hotel rooms across from each other. Ran into him when I was leaving one night, he followed, and we ended up talking while on this carrousel that the retreat had.
When we went back to school, him and I started becoming really good friends, I realized we had SO much in common. I ended up trying to set him up with one of my friends (I was....truly oblivious)
I was lowkey in love with another person my freshman year and this guy bsf would constantly give me advice, talk to me about it, repeatedly tell me I deserved more
Guy bsf and I got super close. We would see each other every day, and we ended up going on ONE date to the movies--- guy bsf said it was because his friend wanted to go on a double date and he needed someone to go with him hehe. Anyways, after the movie I ran into said other person I was lowkey in love with. There was this weird tension, stand off moment and I was so upset about it.
Guy bsf and I left, but instead of dropping me back at my dorm, guy bsf and I walked to the stadium of our university and laid on the grass and talked ALL night under the stars. It was like 5 am by time I went to sleep.
We became best friends after this, literally would tell him everything, and he was so respectful of me and the other person I was lowkey in love with. Guy bsf and I end up jokingly making a marriage pact at 35.
Fast forward to the end of the semester, covid was a thing and I had to fly back to Madrid. Guy bsf packed all my stuff with me. The day I was leaving, he gave me the biggest hug and said he was so sad we were missing out on like 7 more weeks of school. I left, then got a text from him saying I forgot something....I went back and he KISSED ME! Still the best kiss of my life, to this date.
I flew home, didnt see him all summer. Ended up falling for my (now ex) boyfriend. Guy bsf ended up falling for his (now ex) girlfriend too. Fun fact, his ex and my ex were both of our high school crushes lmao anyways. After the summer, I go back to school. Guy bsf and I immediately fall back into place, but things are off bc both of us are pretty much cuffed.
I end up deciding I want to leave school and move to Panama. I start planning. Guy bsf gets into a motorcycle crash. I'm his emergency contact, he gets a bad leg injury. I end up taking care of him at his place for the next few weeks. During this time, me and my (now ex) boyfriend are getting kinda serious so I start to make boundaries with guy bsf. Guy bsf breaks things off with his girl.
A month later, I'm getting ready to move. Guy bsf and I are preparing our goodbyes, he gives me this BEAUTIFUL letter on the night that I leave. Literally compares me to plato's forms of beauty. (You can read some of it below) and tells me he loves me.


I cry over it. It's the most thoughtful thing I've ever read, but I feel so guilty that I don't feel the same way. I also feel conflicted because my (now ex boyfriend) and I were getting pretty serious, and he was uncomfortable with my guy bsf giving me a love letter. I thank guy bsf, tell him it was so sweet, but we have a conversation about what our friendship needs to look like.
Long story short, guy bsf started to get jealous and kinda mean towards my (now ex) boyfriend. Lowkey, I shouldve listened bc my ex was INSANE. But I was uncomfortable with it and guy bsf and I got into a huge fight, had a huge falling out. He told me he didn't think I was with the right person.
4 years later, we start talking again!!! wohooo
There are SO many details here within 4 years. His friends telling me he said I was the one that got away, my own mother telling me she was sure we would end up together blah blah
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with scarletts bc on the horizon..i thought i should do a recap of everything that happened in the 4 year time jump we just did to get here. :) theres a lot here so im putting it under a cut.
if youd like to read the stephens from the beginning you can over here:)
if youd like to read the stephens continued you can over here:)
theo had his 65th birthday and dustin is still young and hot. its just the life of a trophy husband.
the twins are now 6 years old. sweet babies. i shouldve put quotes around that. because theyre still kinda assholey. they do have theos genes running through them after all.
robin is in college and yes shes still living at home.
scarlett never went to college.choosing to chase her tiktok presence and now her bachelorette challenge instead. life of a try to be influencer.
as far as theos health..theres been some steps made towards the better.. which we will get into.
theo is your host for scarletts upcoming bachelorette challenge. how dusty feels about that isnt great. and theyve had it out in the time jump and will have it out long after it starts airing.
some wounds do not heal. and dusty is still HURT over theo cheating on him [literally he has that sentiment come up a lot. he cant get over it. makes me sad for him ]
blake and river are still together and still married. they were married before they even graduated highschool. HOWEVER... they did legally separate about one year into college. blaming the distance...but really..they married young and quick and got into something they werent quite ready for. river got back together with isla for a time and blake....well..... did some things that resulted in just a tremendous amount of guilt [even though they were split up ] and thus he got the river tattoo on his ribs. made him feel better? somehow? after a short time apart and never filing for a divorce or even an anullment the boys fell back together during their sophomore year of college. even though the distance was tough they made it through their college years. after river graduated he quickly moved back to tomarang where blake had his apartment since high school. BUT ALSO where he is now 3rd backup quarterback for the local team. yes. backup. we'll get into the strifes of that a little later ;)
THEO FOUND OUT HE HAS MORE CHILDREN. or should i say dustin found out theo has more children. jesus christ. adult children but children nonetheless.
jami took over the strip club entirely. and he is helping out just like he said he would be at dustin and theos.
jami and marlee. DO NOT HAVE ANYMORE KIDS. FOR NOW. yeah!
even though scarletts bc will be going on... the stephens continued will still be posted hand in hand with it .. so we will get into SO MUCH MORE as we move on.
welcome to four years later..and welcome to finding out how many ways love is embarrassing :)
#the stephens continued#theo kline#dustin stephens#robin stephens#scarlett kline#blake donovan#river stephens#cade stephens kline#eloise stephens kline#the sims 4#ts4 gameplay#the sims#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 simblr#the sims community#ts4 legacy#ts4 story
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i hate petrigrof.
just kidding. i do not. kinda.
note: this post makes petrigrof seem toxic. its not toxic. its just very doomed.
this is part one of my talking about the things i hate about petrigrof! because theres a lot. its. its insane.
i hate fionna and cake the series. just kidding again, but i hated the they way handled them. it felt so.. incomplete. which the series isnt over yeah, but simon basically was like “yay! im happy again!” at the end so im gonna pretend all the relationship building is over.
this also isnt the only time im talking about the fionna and cake series with this, because thats where we get most of our content from. but yeah anyways eyebrjdbsmd
i hate how simon was made out to be the bad guy and like betty did no wrong. which, did simon do something wrong? yeah he did. he didn’t consider how much betty gave up to fulfill his dream and stuff etc etc.. but betty is a grown woman. shes her own person.
this like also kinda harmful stereotype of women wanting to do what the man wants but i digresssssss 😁😁
but anyways, betty is her own person. simon never asked her to do any of it. like, yeah i agree simon is really stupid for no realizing it. yeah i think simon shouldve known better, but then again.. this isnt anyway his fault.
the fact though, is he never asked for her opinion on things. THATS the problem. but that wasn’t really ever talked about, so its kinda just.. bbbbllllleaaaaggghhggghh…
another thing about betty is that she should definitely be hold accountable. but also, to be fair, she thought “wow simon is my idol and is soooooo cool” and then started dating him. like babe i love you but why would u do that… there was such a horrible power balance because she read his books before and she thought of him as something higher because of that. so of course she subconsciously gave up all of her dreams for him. which sucks but i feel like she needed to learn how to stand her ground.
i am NOT blaming her though. at all.
she just was OBSESSED over simon to the point she wasnt her own person. which sucks, but she needed to learn to let go and move on.
dont get me wrong though.. i love these two so much!
i think definitely with a longer relationship (they were only together for about 5 years or under and didn’t even get married) so they were early-ish in their relationship so they didnt work out any of the kinks. and thats what sucks about them! they didnt have enough time to you know, have a relationship.
i think these two with enough time couldve been something great and its so sad they couldn’t get the life they deserve:( i love them sm
(i didnt cover all of my points here, so later down the road i may rewrite this LOL)
(also i didnt re read this so uh. sorry for the mistakes!)
#petrigrof#fionna and cake#adventure time#golbetty#simon petrikov#betty grof#rants#i love these sillies#THEY DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER ERRHEHAJSMDMS#i wish they got the little cottage life they deserve#I NEED THEM TO BE HAPPY#simon ruined all of it#WHY DID THEY HAVE TO BE SADDDD!!!!#its ok though bc now i have more room to talk about how sad they are#and yeahhhhhhbnnmm#i want them DEAD#on the FLOOR#just joshing around#but uh#yeah#TOXIC YURI#DOOMED YURI#GRHAHH!
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An Unhinged KH Rant That I Needed To Get Out of My Brain
here i am, once again, tortured by hypotheticals like- "what if kingdom hearts didn't suck?" and, "if i could rewrite kh, how and what would i cut or add?"
honestly,, my ideal kingdom hearts timeline is kh1, com, kh2, and days. that's literally it. games extending backwards or forwards from the end of kh2 (bbs & ddd kh3 unioncrossfuckinghell) really sapped the life from the series imo. in a better world, square and disney would've put kingdom hearts to rest by 2, and we would've all grown up and moved on with happy memories :))))
lol. but is it possible to extend the story of kh without draining it of all the magic, mystery, and charm established since kh1? by now i think we can all agree that here at the tailend of the timeline (kh3), this game has reduced itself to a fake deep shitpost soulless disney ad. :) -so, how could it be done anyway? ultimately, bbs would have to exist. you would need something to expand on the story's lore, and the lore of the keyblade and it's wielders is a prime target. i love and hate bbs; but i do think it really takes away from the charm of the keyblade itself and the mystery surrounding it. explains too much, if you will. lets not get into how the wayfinder trio spends their entire time talking about how much they gotta train and how their entire lives revolve around training and how wooden and stiff a vast majority of their interactions are eraqus dont even get me started he is so boring do not talk to me about the shitty gacha paytowin mobile game god help me also their shitty mark of mastery exam is with the fucking flying balls its so lame are you telling me this is what keyblade masters are capable of; what fucking happened to lingering will in kh2fm??? why cant we do any of that shit in bbs? wheres the fuckin keyblade transformations and capes in that game-
ok. bbs would have to exist… but it should've revived kh1's way of integrating disney plots into the main story. ALL the games shouldve revived that trick post kh2. whats the point of disney being a major half of these games if you dont use them. like- ven goes to fucking cinderella world and meets cinderella (NOT AS A RAT), and ven is sad and lost an looking for his friends and cinderella convinces her stepmother to hire ven as a stableboy or a peasent servant or some shit. something to get a roof over his head. ventus learns from cinderella about her dreams and it gets him thinking about what he wants out of life… maybe he wants to see his friends succeed and become masters but thats mainly just a pretty excuse hes been using to mask his true feelings. truthfully hes scared of getting left behind. maybe he discovers that he feels inadequate in comparison to his friends, and fears for the inevitable future where they leave home to lead their own lives/search for their own apprentices. fuck idk. 1 talk with cinderella could unlock all of that. easy. imagine writing. what a concept.
WHAT im saying is. disney shouldn't exist in kh just to be an ad. the reason why sora in kh1 came to the conclusion that MY FRIENDS ARE MY POWER, is because of the lessons he learned in each of the disney worlds up until his confrontation with riku. he literally explains his entire reasoning before he says the line- the disney plots mattered to sora's character development! by the end of the game, he became so much more wisened and was capable of butting heads with ansem who had studied all the esoteric makings of the universe and thought he knew where life began and eneded: darkness lol. but sora had come to a different conclusion: kingdom hearts is light!!! lmao!! it was an asspull, but shit. i could follow the line of logic well enough and it was cool and dramatic without insulting my intelligence.
what am i talking about? disney? i think the timeline extending backwards as far as bbs is serviceable, but nothing in this world will convince me otherwise from the belief that unioncross is hot garbage and needlessly complicates the plot to an insane degree. its literally star wars prequel movies but even shittier, but this time, theres a casino for the little kids!!! yay!! :))
aanyway. what about ddd..? the resurrection of org 13 needs to not fucking happen. and if it does, only like, 4 of the 13 and half of them arent even enemies. i dont want to kill guys i already slaughtered 2 games ago. theyre not threatening anymore GOD. what if kingdom hearts established new villians starting from ddd that would lead into kh3 being a whole new story? pretty epic right? it would be just like how com introduced the org13 the first time after ansem was beaten to lead into kh2! woww! but, like, who would this hypothetical new ddd-introduced villian be? we all know the kh team cant design characters for shit who aren't walking talking black coats. MoM? lol? i like the guy, but hes an overpowered omnipotent all knowing god that is too strong to feasibly be beaten by anyone without a humongeous ass pull deus ex machina to solve the problem. like c'mon, dont act surprised when sora inevitably walks up to him, goes- "light light friendship heart. the future can be changed!" and then MoM is like, "ah fuck i guess you're right. i suppose i, the master of masters, the most powerful keyblade wielder ever, maybe even the progenitor and also seer of all time and existance who knows everything you're going to do before you're going to do it-- knows less than you. i was wrong all along. guess ill die!". don't act like it wont happen like that :))). you really think the kh writers are competent enough to handle a character as difficult to manage as MoM? he's a cool guy, but they fucked up trapping him in this garbage game.
lmao. but anyway, who knows who this hypothetical new ddd villian would be. but it would have to be some other dumbfuck obsessed with the (((power of kingdom hearts))). thats the name of the game after all. so really, what im actually saying is- kh3 shouldve been a whole new storyline with new villians and plot, rather than dredging up closed plotlines from the previous games. we shouldnt have to be waiting till mf kh4 just for a new story. im not playing that game btw. not unless square figures out how to make a game fun to play like its literal 20 yr old predecessors of kh1&2, while also not selling me the fixes to the game in a 40$ dlc. fuck you. REMIND me not to ever play this shitty game ever again.
ok. i think im ok… i got everything out my system. bbs shouldn't have been garbage where you cant even be like lingering will by the end of the game. also disney worlds need to serve a purpose in kh beyond serving merely as ads… ddd shouldve introduced a new villian for a new plotline continued in kh3, rather than retconning and resurrecting everything from the previous games… and MoM is a cool guy trapped in a shit game that will inevitably get botched. yup.
ok i feel better now.
#kingdom hearts#kh#ramblings#ive been psychologically tortured by this game recently i needed to perform my annual kh mega rant to clear my head
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i can really see your passion for it and i am smiling so hard at it!!! i dont have much experience with book binding--i did ir once for a school project, that's all really--but i absolutely adore the idea of printing and binding fanfics that sounds sooo cute and fun and then you have a physical copy of a fanfic to read i love that
BOOK BINDING IS SO COOL AND I NEED TO MAKE IT EVERYBODYS PROBLEM. ive always found book-binding cool but like. concentrating in book arts made me MISERABLE to be around HJKFDHKGJFDHK my irl friends always make fun of me because i mention books so much but BINDING SO COOL!!! like holy shit. please go look up america: a hymnal by bethany collins RIGHT !! NOW !!! (and if you live in massachusetts - its actually ON DISPLAY RN in the pem (peabody essex museum) ahahaha go check it out, you know you want to, cmooon its so worth it-)
but like . i got to look at that book very up close and personal because we were visiting the pem's archival library, the phillips library - realized i shouldve clarified on my last ask lol sorry - and its AMAZING. i LOOOVE ephemeral pieces, and using the fragile nature of the book as a metaphor for america and its relationship to freedom and equality? HOLY SHIT. SO SO SO COOL BETHANY COLLINS IS A GENIUS. i am genuinely sad that most people will only ever see it behind a case because it is so so different when you see it falling apart in front of you. i am so fuckin obsessed with this piece, i think about it on a weekly basis and then i cry because i wanna be up close and personal with it AGAIN!!! my dream is shaking bethany collins' hand and telling her she changed my life
once again i am talking about anything but fan binding SORRY COOKIE . I AM INTERESTED IN FANBINDING I PROMISE I JUST. i come at book arts from a very artistic standpoint due to my academic experience, while fan binding is something ive always watched from a distance? so its easier for me to talk about artist books i like HJKDGHJKFDHK but! but!!! it is SO cool to imagine having a PHYSICAL COPY OF YOUR FAVORITE FANFIC ... i really wanna get into fan binding so i can make a collection of my favorite oneshots :] i wanna start with just a few fics tho, probably like. 1k to 3k? so i can get the hang of laying them out (i WILL be laying these things out in indesign. you cannot MAKE me print a book in ao3 format absolutely not they need to be perfect HDKFJGHJKDFH) and how they look while printed, etc. then from there, i can move onto the full collection, and use a nice bookboard to keep it sturdy, and use fancy paper for the inner cover- itll be SO NICE im so excited just thinking about it!!!
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help. i am trapped in limbo once again. apathy, unending.
i am nothing. i am nothing.
i was something. i am supposed to be something.
i am nothing. why?
i cant even feel distressed about this. i think thats supposed to be bad.
a few days ago a good friend sat with me while they waited for their bus.
we talked. things are going well for her.
we talked. this has been a terrible year for me.
first i have a family emergency. then i lose most of my friends. and finally i am told to pour water from a stone.
shock. sadness. betrayal. loneliness. frustration. anger. so much of each. all in one year. i shouldve broken. i did break. but i am still here.
and i tell her this. and i smile. and im scared to look at her. and i keep smiling. because i am still here. and i have to keep going. and i am so tired. and i want to give up. and i do give up. but i keep smiling. and i drag myself. and i scramble. and i smile.
she softly suggests therapy. i want to scream at her. i dont. i know she wants to help. i know she is being kind. i know this is not her problem. i know i should not have told her this. i know shes doing well. i know.
i know i should simply wallow myself. no need to drag others down with me.
she tells me a story. i wont repeat it here, because it is not my story to tell, and it is a very silly story. she tells it well. i liked the story. it made me laugh. it makes me grin, in a slightly uncomfy sort of way. i have no idea how she told it. i would never have the strength.
she trusts me, doesnt she?
why? how?
cant she see my red flags? i have no shortage of them.
i am not supposed to be trusted.
it is what i want more than anything, but every time i am given it i break it catastrophically.
i do not want to hurt her.
why does she trust me?
i have tricked her. surely. i am evil for doing so.
what, so she is not able to come to her own decisions on who she can trust? you would rob her of her agency?
no, you do not understand. i am very good at tricking people into trusting me. it is perhaps one of the few things i excel at.
stupid.
she tells me a story. we laugh. she leaves.
there are people who care about you. people who trust you. did you trick them? no. you only trick them once you betray the trust they have given you. why are you so eager to betray the ones you care about?
why did you betray her?
it was the first year of university for both of you. her parents were getting divorced. why did you betray her?
were you cutting you loose of her, or her loose of you?
you were sad. and tired. and desperate.
and you did what you thought was right.
it has been five years.
it has been five years.
five. years.
five years
five
5
5
5
5
5
assuming (very generously) that you will live to 100 (you wont) you will have spent 1/20th of your life emotionally stuck after one horrendously shitty action. you have spent over an hour of your daylife grieving what a shitty person you are, and mourning the loss of your future.
thats enough.
please.
you shouldnt live like this for the rest of your life.
5 years.
move on.
put down the rock.
allow yourself to live without it.
she tells her story.
she tells you because she trusts you. because you are worthy of her trust.
she likes you. she wants to keep you in her life. you want that too. we're not very good at it, but maybe we can get better.
you are capable of being worthy of trust. you are capable of being worthy of love. you are capable of being worthy of the life you have been given.
live it.
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DONT YOU LOVE ME ANYWAY?
tw: slapping, slight breeding kink, smut, dark!luke, corruption kink, daughter of aphrodite!reader
a/n: from your #1 yappist
There was something sacred about it-how he would desecrate-ruin you. Bruises littered your inner thighs, neck, anywhere he could find to mark you. Own you.
And he did.
There was some thrill in it for him, that you'd allow him to fuck with you like this, turn you into something as depraved and corrupt as him. Watching the guilt settle in your eyes when he finishes fucking you, mock disappointment crafting his words.
"should cover those up, yeah?, cant have everyone knowing what a cock dumb slut you are now, can we?"
People began to notice it, slowly. The way your face would burn with embarrassment turning into shame when they pointed out the hickeys. The fact that you were luke's toy to fuck and use as he pleases. And it was, until it became because even after he betrayed you, its his name that falls from your lips when you cum on your fingers.
You shouldve known better. Maybe checked the borders harder, more than twice-brought more weapons. Anything, that would take you back from being here. The metal presses against your throat, sending shocks of fear through you as he tilts your head up, back pressed against the rough bark of the tree.
Clarisse and the others had left camp for some special mission, chiron called it, leaving you and the other year rounders. It was calm for the first few weeks, until it wasnt.
Monsters started attacking more frequently, breaking the borders which you couldve sworn you thought could never happen. And there was only one culprit. The same one that had his head between your thighs-just weeks earlier and now a knife under your chin.
"isnt it past curfew sweetheart?" he asks tilting his head as he smiles "should report you for that"
Like the fucker cares.
Your eyes scan your surroundings, looking for atleast a dagger, seeing most of your weapons discarded too far from arms reach. He sees you, of course, eyes darkening in irritation.
"None of that yeah? just want to talk-"
Something in you clicks, anger that causes you to almost bite at him. "now you want to talk? you fucking left me luke!, no note, not even a simple goodbye-i had to hear about this from annabeth, a-and you want to speak to me with a sword at my throat?!"
He shifts, eyes moving to unreadable, as he backs up only slightly.
"There wasnt enough time-couldnt get you roped up in this shit and risk somethin' happening to you, you wouldnt have understood-"
His words fall on deaf ears, not caring-trusting-what he says anymore. You're quick to move, acknowledging that his sword is now at his side, completely out of the way. The first fist hits and you cant tell when the second one reaches. He lets you hit him, takes it until it actually begins to hurt, grapping your wrists as you attempt to fight his grip. He discards his sword on the ground, moving his other hand to keep you still. "Stop before you hurt yourself" he says sternly, backing you right up against the tree. Theres tears on your face now, he cant tell if they're from sadness or anger, choosing the latter pains him less.
"Just calm the fuck down"
Its the same tone he would use with you before, whenever you'd ask him to stay with you after he'd fuck you for hours on end. Producing the same result, tears brimming along your waterline until his tone changes. "I'm sorry okay? just dont-dont-fuck- stop crying, cant take it when you do that to me"
Your lip stops trembling, soaked eyes looking up at him as his hand cradles your chin. Its silent, none of you knowing what to say anymore and even though, you know better, you kiss him. Your lips are soft against his at first, but when luke gets over his shock? he's all teeth and blood. Violent and angry and so so desperate. Your brains in a fuzz, a high from the way hes kissing you. Maybe you've spent too long alone since he left, maybe you should've moved on. But whatever it is that leads you to do something like this, you're to fucked out of your brain to care.
Fuck elysium, he's got his own little heaven right here, in the way you sculpt your lips into his, letting him find solace in you after everything. His hand reaches to the curve of your waist pulling you into him, as he begs you to let him go further. To fuck out his frustrations onto you once again. He's sick for even asking, and you? you're just as bad for agreeing.
He practically rips of your skirt, ruining the pretty lace hem, muffling your protests with his lips. "I'll but you ten, okay a whole fuckin' set after-"
A promise you know he's not going to keep, but for now, you let him have it. His hand trails over your panties, pressing the damp spot he sees there. "That desperate huh? been waitin' for me princess?"
Somewhere in your stupor, your lips form into a pout.
"Dont be silly"
His lips form into a smirk at that, slapping your clit from your tone as you yelp. "Yeah? you've just been whoring yourself out since ive been gone?-looks like i needa remind her who she belong to hm?"
Another slap connects at your silence.
"Y-yes-fuck-please-n-need it so bad-" you babble out mindlessly, pushing your hips up into his hand-a desperate attempt to get some friction. He chuckles at your neediness, like his cock isnt leaking through his pants right now. He pulls your panties to your knees, fingers teasing at your hole, gathering your slick before he's sliding both inside of you. The sound you make is pathetic, giving him exactly what he wants, to see you pliant and indigent for him again. He's not slow or careful, instead fucking you with his fingers like hes almost enamored with the motion.
"L-luke-!" you whine, when you feel his other finger pinch your clit, the stimulation making your body jolt in pleasure. "I know, baby, I know-'s really abandoned her didnt i? dont even know how much ive missed this pretty pussy"
His words are so sweet, an illusion for how fucked up this all is. He continues to pump his fingers into you, feeling how you tighten up around him as his hand goes back to circle your clit. Your hips buck up into his hand, letting him use it as motivation to move faster. Head falling back, feeling the familiar tightening in your stomach as whimpers emit from you, eyes rolling back in pleasure. Your brain goes white when you cum, thighs trembling as you clamp down on his hand. He pulls out of you, watching the wetness that drips down your thighs.
"theres my girl"
He's quick to pull out his cock, all angry and red, precum dripping along his veins. He rubs his cock along your thighs, shivering at the feeling. He's slow at first, easing himself in, until he fully enters you, a wheeze coming from him.
shitshitshitshitshit-shit-" his thighs quiver, jaw clenching from holding himself back. "g-gotta relax for me, mami-fuck-"
He buries his head into your neck, gritting his teeth as his hands tighten on your hips. It take everything in him not to just rut into you right there.
For your sake, he tries to be slow, be patient as he thrusts into you at an antagonizing, gentle pace. You mumble something under your breath, begging him to go faster, to ruin you again, to break you. And he remembers that really? he was never a patient man.
His hips snap into yours, his movement prompted from that primal need to fill you with him to the hilt. Its disgusting, lewd-almost pornographic sounds that come from you as his curls stick to his forehead from sweat. He fucks you like an rabid animal, harsh, violent and angry-he doesnt understand whats wrong with him-why he needs it so bad. To feel you clench around him, scream out his name as if everythings normal again, as if he's human again. He presses against your stomach, causing a mixture of a moan and a sob to come from you, as he moves against you faster-harder.
He's on cloud nine when you clamp down on him. Hips stuttering, choked out whimpers falling from him as he buries his face back into your neck to try and stifle his sounds. Stars dance across your vision, and you swear you're drowning-mouth formed in a permanent 'o' shape, thighs trembling as you sink deeper. Crash after crash of ecstasy hits you-coming in relentless hard waves that make you see white. Your speech is slurred, rambling about how you love him so much-need him so much, begging him not to leave you again.
And thats what pushes him over the edge. He knows hes gonna leave you again, abandon you like the piece of shit he is, but the reprieve he has is too good to deny. He cums with a fucking sob, your name echoing from him like a solemn prayer, not even recognizing the fact that he just came inside of you as he holds you to him.
He cleans you up, carrying you back to the aphrodite cabin. Lucky for him, its empty. Most of the year rounders being in his old cabin. Laying you down on the bed, as your eyelids flutter, he sits on the side of your sheets, watching your face until you fall asleep.
And whether its guilt or regret, this time he stays and holds you until he disappears in the morning.
#luke castellan smut#luke castellan#luke catsellan x reader#luke castellan imagine#percy jackson x reader#pjo series#pjo#charlie bushnell#luke castellan fanfic#luke castellan fanart#just pretend this makes sense#yeah!#◟ writings ᢗꪫ ݁.﹒
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Note 12: Rage and Pain
hello. it's 2024, and its been a year since i last posted. not to say in the least that ive been better. ive been tolerating, i feel like is the right word. but what made me write this now is my ongoing anguish with life, with family, with work and in general, with myself. new year, new me right? the things we tell ourselves hoping for better times, less painful moments. to keep that hope is good yet blinding and painful at the same time.
i drove to work and home today. as i was on the way home, being the ever-so reserved daughter and woman i am, talked to myself about my problems, about my mental anguish and about my sadness. i feel like its nothing new. ive been posting about pretty much my depression here as an outlet for a lack of a better term. in talking to myself, did i let my tears fall. in talking to myself, did i realize that i truly am alone in this world. to share my pain with no one else. to have nobody understand the things i want to share, the deeply rooted sadness that contains me in every day i live, i breathe in the world. its no secret here that my family is the number one source of my rage yet my pain at the same time and this is because of my love for them. truly a curse i dont think ill ever get up from. and i wanted to write here again to let this out. my words are slurring and i feel tears well up inside me yet all i can do is mask them in front of the people i so desperately want to cry to. its pathetic and its sad really. im turning 25 this year and yet my secret wants and desires still stem from things i shouldve gotten over 10 years ago.
its in this that the sadness in my heart continues to spread its roots. i had to cry by myself to sleep this week bc of how inconsiderate they are and of how invalidated, unappreciated and unloved i felt from the people i care about my family. i know the most obvious thing to do is to talk to them but when you've tried and tried and it never worked, why would u bother?
tw/ self harm, suicide
ive thought abt killing myself honestly, its gotten that bad these past months. idk if ill ever feel good about myself if its always just temporary. the greatest downs are complemented with the greatest highs. like im in a soap opera waiting for my great climax and my great downfall at the same time.
and yet again as im writing this down, im silently killing the hope in me that ill ever feel okay about this. ive been reading books to meditate, to recenter myself, to feel.....something. instead of slicing my skin, instead of feeling the blood trickle down, i want to try to be better.
until then, im just a fire running on fumes ive never wanted to use in the first place.
and if there is a god up there and if there is an angel silently watching my every move, i pray that i do feel better without needing my family for it.
oh a tragedy, and yet the comedy that is my life
-end-
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[ 21 : 13 ] - csc
content : bf!cheol x gn!reader ; fluff , comfort , drabble ; 0.6k words warnings : pet names (cheol uses the term 'baby') , sick reader - you come back home after a long day of work while being sick, seungcheol comforts you. an : its my first time posting here! im sick atm and all i can think about is soft cheol :(
[ 21 : 13 ]
finally getting home after a long day of work while being sick was the last thing you thought would make you cry. but how could you not? you were working for hours with your head pounding and your nose was stuffy enough to make you sit embarrassingly in the office while sniffling through the silence. in fact, coming back home was just what you needed, coming home to seungcheol who was sitting in the dark, watching a random tv show, his silhouette being all you could see from the entrance of the house.
‘y/n?’ he called out, slightly turning around to face the door which you have just come through, revealing his messy blonde hair and his soft smile that you could barely make out through your tears. putting down your bag, you manage to blurt out the words, ‘im home’ but with enough sadness in your voice for seungcheol to notice something was wrong.
his posture immediately fixed as he sat up, turning fully around to look at your figure that was standing still, so helplessly. ‘baby..’ he muttered worryingly. ‘come here…’
and as his words left his lips, you followed so slowly, moving closer to the couch and silenced tv (which seungcheol turned the volume off of when you walked in), and of course, your boyfriend. you dropped your body on the couch next to him and didnt dare to look him in the eyes, instead, keeping your focus on the fine details of the coffee table and half drunken tea which seungcheol must have forgotten about.
your boyfriend knew that you were having a hard time at work, all the days you came home and practically passed out on the floor were enough to have his heart hurting just at the sight of you, but he wasnt aware just how bad it got. he has been busy with work and you were too shy to admit that you were now also having a fever, you didnt want to burden him, especially after hearing him complain about his tiring dance practices or his busy schedule he has been having due to a new comeback they were preparing for.
‘y/n, are you okay?’
you could hear his shaky sigh as you didnt respond and instead burst into tears once more, this time not being able to hide your weeps. instead of forcing a reply out of your tired body, he just hugged you, so, so tightly. so warmly, that all the words he wanted to say were shown through the embrace. so carefully, as if you were the most precious thing in the world to him (you were).
realistically, you knew that seungcheol loved you so much that he would do anything to take care of you. he would delay his practices or call in sick, he would make you all the tea you could ever ask for and rush to be the first in the pharmacy to pick up any medicine you needed. you knew that he would tuck you into bed and stay by your side as long as you wanted him to, all just to help you. he loved you, and that was the truth, you knew it was, but you truly didnt want him to worry, for you to become a chore, even though you were aware that would NEVER happen.
‘your cheeks are burning up’ he whispered as he gently pressed his cold hand against your right cheek, his thumb caressing it slowly, wiping the tears away. all you could do was give a weak cough as you continued to rest your head against his cold palm. ‘are you sick? oh baby… you shouldve told me.’ he scolded quietly, but immediately gave you a concerned smile as he looked into your puffy eyes. ‘lets get you into bed, hm?’
#seventeen#choi seungcheol#seungcheol drabble#seungcheol x reader#scoups#seungcheol#svt#svt x reader#seventeen x you#seventeen fanfic#seventeen x y/n#seventeen x reader#sos im going insane#HES SO PERFECT#fluff#seungcheol fluff#seventeen fluff#comfort#yoonsdoll#laura : drabbles !#laura : writing !
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me feeling guilty for not saving someone in my dream like i
if i knew what was going on i wouldve got him im so sorry man if it happened too fast and i shouldve known i shouldve called out or grabbed him but i just panicked and ran and he fucking died because of me
i know i shouldnt be so upset, it was only a dream, but
my dreams are very vivid, and it doesnt help that like. when im stressed, i dissociate, and my brain tends to wander to the worst possible scenario, and itll stick. i find it really really hard to pull myself out of it because to me, what happens in my head seems just as real, maybe even MORE real than what happens irl
so even if its been hours since the stressful event, i might still be just as stressed (maybe even more stressed) because im stuck in a "what if" scenario that will play itself out fully and its hard to shake it off
that happened in my dream, something bad happened at our highschool and even after i escaped and ran to my friends house, i was in her house and crying and begging for her help because i could still hear the screams and shit even though i was far away and safe
i think THATS what really fucked with me, my brain playing off of my own trauma response and applying it to my dreams just made it so real, cuz yeah i am stuck in horrible events typically, any time they happen im stuck there even after they end, stuck in a spiral of what couldve happened if things got worse you feel me?
even after im awake and its been several hours i still feel that same dread, its making it hard to breathe
the worst part? the dream was so good at first. i was friends with a youtuber i watch and we went to school together and i sat with his friends on the first day cuz he invited me and they were accepting of me being trans and i fit right in immediately as one of the guys. i was so happy man. it felt so fucking good to just be seen as i am, for someone to be EXCITED to know me, even if i was new
its something i struggle with constantly, i just never really fit in no matter where i go. even when i make friends, and things seem to be going great, ill second guess myself and step away. ill perceive rejection where there isnt any and ill assume they dont want me around, etc. its a never ending cycle of me being unable to keep anything good, its so.
AGGRAVATING it suck ass. sometimes its not even me! i know i say this a lot but i mean it genuinely when i say that normal people find me offputting and weird immediately. there is no second guessing, there is no oh maybe ill get to know him, NO. i freak people out with my mannerisms alone, and its really sad. i didnt have hardly any friends in highschool since i moved from my hometown to go, i made a total of 4 over the course of 3 years, and of those 4, 3 moved away. my last year was the saddest loneliest thing ever, all my teachers thought i was depressed and thought i wanted to kill myself so they were all nice to me and checking on me. it was so humiliating? to be so isolated that people NOTICE yr isolated
nevermind when i started hallucinating, that was soo great 😁 really loved that era /s
my life has been drowned out with such a profound loneliness that i dont even know where to start to combat it. it hurts my heart to think about it. to think about the jealousy and embarrassment i felt for the longest time when i realized my closest friends, my ONLY friends, had friends outside of me. that no matter what, even in a group as weird as us, id be the weirdest and i wouldnt be as charming as them, i couldnt keep a conversation like them and so all i had was them
now i do have other friends, but its still.. i dont know how to talk. and i know i make posts like this every once and a while but i guess im just? im a very low maintenance friend i guess. if we're friends, i will always like you. if we dont fall out in some sort of way, i will always hold you close to my heart. even if we dont talk much, i still love you
i dont really know how to like? ENGAGE i struggle with engaging. im alone all the time so i just talk about myself and my things in my own channel, i live through my characters most of my day. i feel like i might be a bad friend? as much as i like to insist i can handle someone and i know what its like to feel rejection and shit cuz of bpd, i think im still not good. i dont know how to engage with someone, i wanna have a meaningful conversation but if its not about my stuff, im bad at responding. i care!! i swear i do, i just dont know how to make that super clear, cant ask questions cant do any of that i just try to make it clear that i want to hear more yknow? i guess im just used to talking nonstop to myself so i just figure thats how other people like to have conversations too, but i think im wrong
idk it sucks. my heart is heavy today. im gonna try and draw cuz i want to but theres just so many things. im stressed, is all
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That girl in the revenant always crying like damn bitch we get it you're in turmoil let's move on now and get a backbone all that crying when she shouldve been working on figuring out why the fuck she got a "demon" on her back 😒 then ep 7 and she blaming a whole ass second generation man for a curse he didn't even know he was attached to to then find out that her father basically took on the "demon" bc he wanted his precious ass eyesight but she didn't get pissy at that hell he was even willing to do the damn ritual again for it??!?!? Like ok. Also logically if that man knew about the curse his family evoked do you think his ass would be looking for the fucking entity that killed his mom? No he would've already known what the fuck happened. I get that what happened to the kid was sad but blaming him for something his grandparents did in the fifties (he was most likely born in the 80s maybe idk) is absurd. He's not to blame for the shitty stuff his grandparents did he didn't even know also hell yea he benefited from it he didn't know so realistically he shouldn't have felt bad about it not then at least but now that he knows about it he should feel bad about it and I support that but blaming him for anything else is just crazy like lowkey she's starting to irritate me just a little. And for the love of something more powerful than me can we show the police officer the damn ghosts or something literally anything atp like im tired of him just going around not believing her ass im tired damn it hell both cops need to be in on the loop expeditiously rn
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i didn't liveblog episodes 8-10 + bonus epilogue cuz i was lazy <3
but anyway here are my thoughts on those final episodes + the overall season:
i forgot how much i hated jaune's voice so i FELT THAT when jaune said "WAS THIS WHAT I ALWAYS SOUNDED LIKE" i felt that. i felt that deep in my bones. crwby bring back dilf jaune NEOWWW
im so intrigued by the whole blacksmith/tree lady/person/thing and all the lore we got about the two brothers and their experiments in the ever after before they moved on to create remnant. where are they now? off in some other realm messing shit up? calling themselves "gods" but theyre the most messy characters in the whole show i swear
loved the whole ruby finding herself sequence
i never cared much for neo or torchwick before but v9 made me actually find them interesting. neo's whole castle in the ever after was cool and i love how a crazy realm like the ever after works to somehow amplify neo's overactive imagination semblance
the way weiss was into jaune had me lowkey shipping them idk i just find it funny. but again they shouldve kept jaune as a dilf <- biased dilf-liker
even though i didn't like the mouse named little, i could appreciate his role in the story by the end, especially in regards to the relationship with ruby, considering he seems to symbolise the more naive and optimistic version of ruby from earlier seasons. also me finding little annoying tracks considering i also did use to find ruby annoying as well (SUE ME but dont worry i dont think so anymore and i like where ruby's character is at now)
the ending was really sweet with all of them returning to remnant hand-in-hand
i loved the bonus epilogue ending and it's sad it got cut due to all the constraints the show's faced but i hope we will get to see something like what was shown pan out in v10. also the epilogue gave me MUCH needed qrow content cuz i've missed my stupid bird man. i love that he cried at seeing the mural of ruby, but i wish they would acknowledge that yang is ALSO his niece yknow??
the mention of vacuo's "history of colonisation" is very interesting to me and i cannot wait to see more of this setting!
seemingly no development was made this volume in regards to how to beat salem and nothing is even hinted about that in the epilogue either so im really just wondering how the gang's gonna pull this off. i do understand that this volume was a much needed moment of respite for the characters tho, and appreciate all the development we got in that department
CONCLUSION:
it was fun and i can't wait for v10!! hopefully i'll remember everything that happened so far by the time it releases LMFAO. also it really cemented my love for nuts&dolts AKA tragic doomed yuri but on the bright side bumbleby is alive and thriving ❤️
rwby volume 9 liveblog
thanks to @kkglinka i am watching rwby again. i just finished rewatching previous episodes as a refresher, and man i realise i slipped up when i mentioned my fav character was salem lmfao i was thinking of CINDER. girl is such a bitch i love her.
but anyway. new volume. here we go.
starting with episode 1 ruby finds a talking mouse and the tone from the season finale of v8 has drastically shifted LMFAO.
we then cut to blake and weiss who've found each other but no sign of yang. then immediately have some antics with a whole rat pack who ambush the two.
okay now ruby's here and the three of them reunite. yay! not a very happy reunion, theyre all more confused and unsettled than anything and i cant blame them. im confused as hail too.
OKAY new monster??? doesn't look like a typical grimm and it talks, seemingly narrating what it does. i love the vibe, very creepy, love that.
AND YANG!!!!
omg i'm lowkey disappointed that blake's first reaction upon the monster running off isn't to jump into yang's arms. like girl talk about a delayed reaction but fine okay she's just being cautious making sure the monster is thoroughly chased away.
THEN GF HUG!!!!! i love them. i miss them a lot. feeling lots of feelings
but then okay plot and weiss revealing everything that happened after they fell since she was the last one of them who fell down the bridge.
AND UGHHH RUBY'S REACTION TO PENNY 😭😭😭 my nuts&dolts heart 😭😭😭 why must they keep HURTING me this way
okay and blake mentions her gut feeling again. THEYRE IN A FAIRY TALE !!!!!
okay the new opening reveal slaps and looks like neo is gonna be a very prominent character this season. jaune will be showing up soon too no doubt, and a mysterious silhouette. and then OH allusions to alice in wonderland? the girl is alice? she's brown? i'm here for this.
aight bring on episode 2 baybey
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Everyone keeps saying thomas is a swiftie and it made me realise there are the same amount of ghosts as there are taylor swift albums so!
The Ghosts as Taylor Swift albums
Taylor Swift (debut album) -> Fanny
Fearless -> Pat
Speak Now -> Humphrey
Red -> Thomas
1989 -> Kitty
Reputation -> Julian
Lover -> Robin
Folklore -> Mary
Evermore -> The Captain
Feel free to debate this in the notes!
#although as far as individual songs go pat is the archer <3#captain is i wish you would 😏#i wish you would come back i wish i never hung up the phone like i did and i hope you know that ill never forget you as long as i live and#i wish you were right here right now its all good i wish you would <\3#kitty is prob new romantics bc its super fun and dancey and hell yeah new romantics but then if you listen properly its actually kinda sad#cause baby i could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me and every day is like a battle??? 😞#i was joking when i said pat was the archer but now that im thinking abt it i want to finish it properly and pat is still the archer#i never grew up its getting so old help me hold onto you ive been the archer I've been the prey who could ever leave me darling but who#could stay?????? who could stay???#thomas is probably red? remembering him (her) comes in flashbacks and echoes i tell myself its time now gotta let go but moving on from#him (her) is impossible when i still see it all in my head burning red OR#this is why we cant have nice things but also that could be fanny#call it what you want could be thomas if he ever finds real love with 1 of the other ghosts 😔#fanny could be babe? or shouldve said no? but mostly i think shes picture to burn thats why i gave her debut lmao#a classy bad bitch 💁♀️#julian is. dress.#or illicit affairs?#but mostly probably i did something bad (OH then whys it feel so good???)#i think mary could be stay beautiful but also definitely my tears ricochet and seven and maybe cardigan#robin is mirrorball!!! he can change everythinf abt himself to fit in <3#i want 2 say daylight for robin but i think thats moreee chess club lmao#also paper rings just for the line the moon is high (like your friends were the night that we first met..omg taylor swift ships chess club)#idk what to say for humphrey tHO sparks fly? speak now? enchanted? haunted? all of speak now djdjdj#bbc ghosts
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On Finishing DS9...
I have now finished Deep Space 9.
And I am extremely.... utterly....
d i s a p p o i n t e d .
HOW IT SHOULDVE ENDED BASICALLY:
jadzia never dies
there is NO "ezri" because jadzia never dies.
worf gets to redeem himself with being a better father this time
alexander jadzia and worf get to be happy together as a family of four
did i say jadzia never dies?
jadzia never dies.
we get to see some happy rom justice From being nagus
but also wait even NOT AS NAGUS itd be SO COOL to see him be A CHIEF ENGINEER TOO OR SOMETHING CUZ HES EPIC AT THAT AND LOVES THAT STUFF, BEYOND JUST A SMALL ACKNOWLEDGEMENT IN A PRIOR EPISODE??
quark gets to get some kind of reward and staple growth rather than barely budging from his bartender status since s1e1
quark MORE EXPLICITLY shouldve grown out of his sexism and traditional ferengi ways better than they "had" him in the show - like i get not EVERYTHING has to be "dynamic" but come ON.
wouldnt mind if quark actually gave at least a totally clean pat on the back for rom - but i wont emphasise this too much. even vice versa wouldve been cute...
quark and odo should have an even better friendship now, with at least a DIRECT ACKNOWLEDGEMENT TO EACH OTHER
odo never leaves
odo and kira stay together, happy and beyond the need for the accursed link - as odo HIMSELF SAID HE FINALLY FELT HE FOUND SOMEWHERE TO BELONG VIA KIRA AND DS9 LIKE IDC HOW MUCH CONNECTION HE FELT WITH THE LINK HE'S LITERALLY REFUSED IT A BILLION TIMES JUST TO COME BACK TO KIRA LET IT STAY THIS WAY GOD DMNNNIT
kiras had so much DEATH around her throughout her life, let her be HAPPY WITH ODO???
the link gets f'cked.
odo decides to GET the link f'cked as he DECISIVELY MOVES ON FROM IT CUZ THIS IS WHAT ODO WOULD DO ESPECIALLY SINCE HE GOT DS9 AND KIRA LIKE WHAT WAS THE POINT???
the founders LITERALLY KILLED 800 MILLION + LIVES FROM THIS WAR THEY SHOULD GET FAT F'D TO DEATH WTF
female changeling shouldve died - BARE MINIMUM REQUIREMENT
Vic Fontaine should've gotten his own permanent holo-suite so he can live his life continuously.
keiko should have gotten ACTUAL STUFF TO DO (not even just ending)
o'brien never leaves ds9
o'brien and bashir should be better friends now TOGETHER ON DS9 especially after that kind of confession from bashir when in Sloan's mind
maybe through o'brien bashir can find happiness in not necessarily having a "boyfriend" relationship - same goes for quark and odo
BENJAMIN SISKO DOES NOT GO OFF INTO PROPHET REALM/BASICALLY DEATH UH NO NO NO
YOU CANT JUST LEAVE JAKE, WHO HAS ALREADY LOST HIS MOM, TO NOW LOSE HIS DAD TOO, EVEN IFFF KASIDY IS THERE NOW LIKE WTF???
the long awaited gul dukat vs ben sisko end-showdown was a LET-down - there should've been 20 MINUTES TO IT AT LEAST INSTEAD OF LIKE 2 SECONDS???
there should have been a real engagement between kira and gul dukat where kira gets some DAMN JUSTICE FOR HERSELF AND BAJOR
SAME WITH KAI WINN - kira shouldve HAD HER WAY against kai winn besides the passive alternative they went with - not saying violence and fighting is necessarily always the better kind of ending but let's be real this was deserved bro ugh.
the ending conflict SHOULD NOT EVER EVER EVER have been THAT EASY with a single linkage making the female founder just "oop nevermind im done with war lets go be happy together and stop killing people hahaha no biggie" LIKE BTCH WE NEEDED TO SEE THE END OF THE JEM'HADAR OR LIKE BETTER YET MAYBE EVEN A LEGITIMATE INTERNAL IMPLOSION OF AN UPRISING OF THE JEM'HADAR REVOLTING AGAINST ITSELF AND THE VORTA AND THE FOUNDER LIKE WE BEEN SEEING THEM HAVE THIS CAPACITY AND DEFECTION IDK IF THIS WAS A DEVELOPED ARC THIS SO COULD HAVE WORKED - the cardassians took this role instead, which i dont mind terribly but man ugh
the ending was so STUPIDLY rushed like WTF IS THAT - idc if there were network issues or conflicts or paramount exec disputes or cancelation - makes me so sad it ended like this like HORRENDOUSLY rushed
the ending flashback montage of each character in ds9 only featured clips from MOSTLY the later 2 MAYBE 3 seasons, NOT very well comprehensive through seasons 1-7 - but main issue is that IT IS NOT EARNED. NOT. EARNED. WITH SUCH A HAMFISTED SHORT AF ENDING.
i know you can complain and be like "well at least this show GOT an ending, unlike unfinished TOS cancelation at S3" but like bro ds9 got a greenlight for an ending 25th episode so why structure the arcs to be this long and drawn out and have almost next to NO pay-off ugh
ALSO TOS GOT A WONDERFUL CONTINUATION IN THE CINEMATIC SEASON AND ENDING IN STAR TREK VI
WHY TF IS E V E R Y O N E LEAVING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
NO ONE LEAVES.
ONE BIG HAPPY DS9 FAMILY.
In conclusion, Deep Space 9 did not have a canonic ending,
and F u, Berman.
#what a HORRENDOUS ending#all characters were done dirty#extremely rushed#idc if it is because of possible cancelations or execs or paramount or whatever#what is this fat BS.#this is a T E R R I B L E ending.#nah#i am 100000%%% ignoring this ending.#ds9 DID NOT end this way.#nope.#f the canon#this aint canon no more#disgusting#wtf#ds9 what you leave behind#ds9#deep space nine#deep space 9#star trek#almalvo#i hate all of this.#all of it.#zero chance of redemption.#this episode does not exist.#so pointless.#the ACTUAL ending is:#nobody dies#nobody LEAVES#i got through 7 seasons for this.#this ending never happened.
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