#i live in the usa and i work primarily with immigrants and i am trans | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

misterbitches · 4 years ago

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hi! this is long as shit i’m sorry. i hope it makes sense. i ahve adhd and like 5 million learning disorders so this is just word vomit cos there’s so many words in my brain. my b.

i’ve had such a tough day so thank you for replying and sharing! @yeedak

i was thinking about what i wrote and i meant to clarify that as well. some cases are fine for both parties and it’s not like you weren’t consenting and it seems like you were happy! same with my friend who was dating a 20 yr old. if they’re happy you know i’ll clown on ‘em but yea. so for anyone that sees these posts your relationship with your partner who is older or whatever. i’m some dumb girl on the internet okay. ill side eye older ppl tho

i think a lot of people feel the same way you do now (me included.) it feels really good at the time but alter we can see the dynamics playing out. i’m 29 now and i think aging is just such a huge process. it’s wild how you at 31 are a totally different person, right?

and the US racism is probably some of the worst ever in its iteration because of slavery which started from europe etc but USA is so fucking unique bc of columbus bringing slaves here and displacing indigenous peoples or hispanola and because america is so influential the way it views race, particularly with black people as objects, has so deeply permeated into the current historical psyche globally. it’s fascinating to track how necessary anti blackness is to the flourishing of america but also the world at this point. also want to point out how fuckign scary sinophobia is here especially for covid. one is a straight historical line (black ppl + the US) and the other had to be manufactured and to continue to exploit the non-white americans and keep antiblackness in tact.i could go on about this all day. the pain of this place is immense.yet as bad as it is here, this is still the only place i truly feel safe as a black person. because of the unique experience we have in america and through the diaspora especially because we are veyr much ocncentrated here. it would be nice to like move to norway and have some alleviation financially or get free healthcare it’s just not feasible if no one looks like me. it’s fucking tough.

i hope you don’t hate it here though and people treat you with respect. but as you know being a woman and jewish and an immigrant....shit is tough. the USA is a hellhole. :( america is so deeply tainted and desperately bad because it was founded on strife and blood and there’s no way to reverse that and what this country did in turn when it gained enough power and could capitalize off of the colonial forefathers. this is why we hsould all luv revolution!!!

HOWMEVERRRR

boy oh boy oh BOY OH BOYYYYYYYY. well wlecome to the world of BL lmao especially as an adult with some obviously deep perspective just given your background. it is a fucking mess and it’s a hard mess to like but it pulls you in. i approach it like i do with soap operas since these are essentially telenovelas, you know? just like the drama at a billion. but the tricky part of that is like....what parts of it do we understand for critiquing? because so many of the shows are so bad at being like good pieces of things to look at just production wise and story wise. but i feel like these shows ask us to take them seriously, so why shouldn’t we take the content seriously? and this is being primarily peddled to young girls.

i bring this up often but i read this thing about yaoi and the interest younger women/girls have in BL and its fascination with pederasty essentially. this component i think is key when we talk about who gets affected by these things the most. society in general is bad 4 girls bla bla we know lmao but in “more sexually conservative” societies it may be harder for these girls to feel safe even expressing normal emotions romantically and sexually and particularly with guys. some people hypothesized, and i think i agree with this hypothesis, that they can live through the casualness of BL. they don’t feel threatened because they can put themselves into the shoes of the other character. oftentimes, the more feminine or the younger. this was in conjunction with the age gap aspect (they say pederasty as well because there’s unethical age gaps that r gross and that is indeed what we would at least call a touch of sexual abuse if people dont feel like calling it an obsession with youth and power and uhhh young ppl and perhaps kids) where maybe girls could see themselves in these situations as the person being saved, loved, taken care of, and sadly also sexually active and penetrated.

i think that’s just one aspect of it but i do think there’s validity in who gravitates towards it. i cannot imagine seeing this stuff and not getting enough information as a young kid, i sure as fuck know i didn’t!, and seeing these things and you look at it with 0 critique because you’re young and you may have no interest in it or you simply cannot understand what is wrong. no one is teaching you these things and these shows confirm it. and it is wild how intrinsic patriarchy is to BL although in its existence it also can’t be in line with patriarchy given the nature of two [cis] men!

it begs the question about the replacement aspect. is it just so girls can put themselves in these characters shoes? if so then that means we believe that gender is so interchangeable within our relationships and interactions and that doesn’t seem right. there’s more to lgbtq+ than just existing; it’s finding ways to communicate, finding a family, safety, your people, being a free person. there’s a lot to gain and a lot a lot to lose. and a gay man is also not a woman because those are also two distinct experiences. especially in societies that have a more hidden aspect to sexuality (idk how to word this bc the BL industry would NEVER survive in america but in a way there’s a more “progressive” look at homosexuality but it’s still fucked up because we live in a Society, you know? at the same time look at what we are doing to trans kids. literally waging war so it’s bonkers how we all collectively have some real progress happening but at the same time not at all. the concept of ‘ladyboys’ and the frequency we see trans people in thai shows is wild and something that we absolutely do not see here in the US. still, none of these groups feel safe or are getting better material conditions in either place. we just show the ways we can try and tolerate oppression witout eliminating it imo)

to me it is clear: it’s money. which most things exist to make money so. but also who is the audience for these shows? and they have to market towards them. all that said all hope is not lost there are some decent shows. it’s just like regular media on TV though where it’s so fucking saturated as an industry that it’s literally sifting through garbage. and there are some days when you can handle the trash and others where it really fucking hurts to watch the violence, the rape, the manipulation, the violations, the stupid messaging. i have never seen more people trying to do mental gymnastics and seeing if things were “technically rape” than in teh BL fandom and that is so fucking sad.

i came into these shows at 28 with almost 0 clue of what as media BL was like esp as media that countries can use as soft power with the revenue. but i realize like...i’m 29 now and so many people don’t have a sizeable, though not huge, amount of life experience. and i wonder for people on the internet who are usually searching for something if they spend so much time on it like what a 15 year old girl thinks. what a 20 year old girl thinks.

it is incredibly problematic and so awful but there’s also some rewards. if you haven’t i would definitely watch i told sunsset about you which i don’t think i’m going to finish and i doubt i’ll watch the second installment (watch this be a lie) but when i say some fucking impeccable storytelling and art? phew. now that is a fucking piece of media that works. it takes from moonlight heavily and you can see like...the artistic dedication is there and the story makes its world and sets up its stakes extremely well.

i think because this is marketed towards much younger people too they know they dont have to try as hard. but they SHOULD because then you can have a fucking masterpiece like that. i think even this prolific gay thai filmmaker (who is like solidly against the government) who is so respected (and who i like a lot! if u wanna know i can tell u lmao but the films are very uhhhhhhhh “artsy”) would like i told sunset about you. i wish more people had budget like that and also just cared about the stories. it’s the fucking magic of art to figure out what you can do but there is very little incentive honestly. idk i am very pessimistic. there are days when it’s really a great pick me up and distraction but it is never a place i would love for to feel seen or heard but i’m more of the mind of i never trust the mainstream until they prove me wrong ;)

or i never trust the mainstream and i still buy into it anyway and then cry when i don’t like what i see adn i yell “BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!” when an old man won’t leave a teenager alone

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newcatwords · 4 years ago

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who i mean when i talk about the white man

the beauty of the agent smith character from the matrix is that he can inhabit anyone, meaning that anyone can become him.

this is one of the ways i think about the white man.

usually, though, when i talk about The Man, i mean the high level operatives of the state & industry...judges, gatekeepers, bosses. but it also includes the more anonymous enforcers: cops, soldiers, etc... these are people who can bring the hammer of the state down on you if they so choose. they have chosen to become the hand of the state..the mouth of the state..acting on its behalf, doing its work, etc.

is america the white man’s state?

well it was founded by 100% white men:

it was founded for white men. it was not for white women (who couldn’t vote, etc.) or black people (who were enslaved, 3/5ths of a person). it was not for the people who were already living where these men were trying to form their country: native people weren’t even allowed to become citizens of USA until 1924.

you can argue that the white men who ran this place (and who started institutions like the major universities, etc.) have gradually let other people in - women, black people, jews, immigrants, etc. but the rules & values of the american government, of major universities, of news organizations, etc., are in almost all instances the rules & values of those original white people & the white people that have been running those places ever since.

even things like tech products (like this website!) that are meant to be for anyone to use, where technically anyone can work, are the white man’s tech..primarily built & founded by white men..primarily in the white, western tradition of high tech. almost every discipline you can get a degree in (like computer science) was invented & founded by white men working within universities run by white men. this is the most basic sense in which i mean these instutions belong to the white man. he founded them. they are his creations. he continues to create them - publishing the news, keeping the university running, keeping the government running.

you may want to become a part of those institutions - to be in government, to work for a major tech company, to be a cop or a teacher, to be recognized in the art or business world, to get tenure at a major university, etc. ..which is your business and you do you. right now i am writing in the white man’s language (english), using his technology (a computer, the internet, this website), and i, too, try to get my hands on his money (dollars) if at all possible lol.

not all white men are agents of the white man’s state, but most of them (especially if they’re straight and/or christian) can become a part of it. all of them benefit from it (you’re just not as likely to get killed by a cop during a traffic stop if you’re white. this is just reality.).

almost anyone (with the right papers, with the right skin color) can become The Man...when you as a white person call the cops on a black person, in that moment, you are The Man. when you as a white person try to police someone else’s behavior..or question whether they are in the right place etc...in that moment, you are The Man. if you’re gatekeeping your favorite hobby or industry, in that moment, you are The Man. that’s the beauty of the agent smith character in the matrix - agent smith can execute the full power of the state (ie, visit death on you) and anyone can become him.

it’s much harder (in many cases impossible) for certain “others” to enter various parts of the white man’s world. but it’s possible! look at your black & women cops. look at your colin powells and condoleezza rices..look at all the queer people who are allowed to rise to the top. which is why i think of being The Man as a condition, not as something essential about who you are. of course some people really are The Man on the inside lol - they were born into it or have adopted it or really think they know better and can’t see any other way. waddaya gonna do.

many white people especially are confused about the things that make up white culture. it’s especially difficult to understand because part of white culture is insisting that its culture & ways are universal. so every time you’ve heard a white man say “this is human nature” or “all people do this”, that in itself is white culture. white culture claims to be a neutral culture and a universal culture. but the more you learn, the more you discover that things you might have thought were neutral or universal are actually historically, geographically, & culturally specific to whites/westerners..they are things that were invented by whites/westerners.

here’s one example: many people think that some form of jail/prison/confinement of a person who did a bad thing is universal, or at least very common throughout time and in many parts of the world. but jails/prisons were invented in the west and in fact through much of the west’s history, these were not the main or preferred ways to punish people. michel foucault’s book “discipline & punish” is a good history of the invention of the prison.

when i say “a product of white culture” or "western culture”, the white reader might think “well i’m white and it’s not *my* culture.” that may be true! now imagine the whitest of the whites: your new england snobs, your english posh snobs, the good ole boys who run your town or state, your oppressive church leaders, an elected official who hates you & lies to you, a smug know-it-all educated technocrat (it might be you!), a karen, a cop, the trumpists, the polite skeptic liberals who are always telling you to temper your expectations, the shmucks who make the sexist, dumb hollywood movies, alllll the gatekeepers... their culture, the way they do things, the things they value, that is white culture. it varies. the white conservative’s culture is not the same as the white liberal’s culture, but they do have some things in common, like wanting to keep america going. both of their cultures are white cultures.

these whites are the people who make the culture that so many of us have grown up in - not just those of us in the west. the white culture machine includes academia (which produces scientific knowledge, histories, & the social theories & policies that many reforms are based on), tv, movies, the music industry, the art world, fashion, wall street, the tech industry, the news, professional sports, the politicians & cops (that are so often the content of the news), schools, white churches, most philanthropies, and all kinds of national (& many international) interest groups (ngo’s, advocacy groups, etc.).

these are institutions that (like the US government) were founded primarily by white men and have been run primarily by white men since their founding. they have all the money. they have power - whether it’s commercial power, political power, power to shape the national conversation, power to define what is true (only western science can say what’s true, according to western science!), power to give you a job or take it away, etc.

if you want to be “at the top of your field”, you are almost always meant to strive to join one of these white institutions (mostly white mens’ institutions). you might say “well there’s nothing particularly white about them..it’s just a news company..or an ad company. they’re just doing business.” but when i say white in this context, i mean that the people who founded them were either 100% white or mostly white. the people who have always run them have been either all white or mostly white, and the people who run them now are either all white or mostly white. in this sense, they are the white man’s institutions.

it can be hard to understand that because they are often the national or otherwise “official” thing: national news, or the biggest national/international companies, the top national/international universities. they certainly sell themselves as “the official thing” because it doesn’t sound great to say “the official newspaper of the white man.” and they want to be the official thing. they want to be the top x in the world. that’s an important white, western value as well - wanting to be the thing for everyone. the UN was not the dream of all peoples. it was the dream of some specific white, western people who created it.

here in america, a white man’s state, we grow up in that state’s schools, learning the history it wants us to learn. we watch its tv and listen to its music. we read its news and use its tech. we & our ideas..many of the things we think are true..many of the things we value..have been installed in us by that state and its various mouths (the ones who teach its desired history, tell you how you should look, what you should want out of life, what you should buy):

(above graphic from the movie “they live” (1988))

but we do all have a choice about which aspects of the white man’s culture we choose to adopt..we have choices about which of his values (progress, superiority of humans over nature & animals) we adopt..choices about which books we read & which movies we watch. is the matrix white man’s media? it used to be, but the wachowskis left the club ;). now it’s white trans women’s media :}

one final thing: is everything that white men do or think part of the white man’s culture? are all white men The Man? i hope that this post has made clear that i think the answer to both questions is “no”. i hope i’ve also made clear that non-whites and non-cis-het-men can very much be The Man or agents of The Man at times, or even their whole life. i’m not saying that it’s necessarily bad or necessarily good here, i just want us all to be honest with ourselves about who we are & whose work we’re doing.

a related question: if you start a club and you’re a white man, is it the white man’s club? i think it depends..it might be. do you work within the white, western tradition? do you accept its assumptions (capitalism is good, meritocracy is real, etc.)? do you further its culture? do you support its work? do you subvert it (by insisting that the club & its ways & rules are co-created with women, POC, etc., as real equal co-founders, for example)? do you use your position as someone the cops might believe, or someone the manager might listen to, to get your way & get what you want? ..to get someone else out of the way when you want? you might be The Man!

we can debate specifics - whether industry x or person y or instution z or cultural value n is white, but for me it comes down to this: was the value/government/institution founded by whites/westerners? has it been run & carried forward by whites/westerners? you can also ask whether it primarily benefits whites/westerners (who are allowed to rise to high positions or allowed to not be as likely to be killed by the cops, etc.) and whether it promotes the values/goals of The White Man. if a judge, a cop, an elected official, a principal, a high level church leader, a university president, and a corporate leader can all agree on it, then in my book, it promotes the values/goals of The White Man. an example of values that might fit this bill include an agreement that we should not try to dismantle america, for example. that one should work within the system...that industrialism is the way to go...etc.. primarily these are pro-establishment values. and “the establishment” is another way that i think many people talk about the white man’s culture & institutions.

anyway, this post has gone quite long. thank you for staying with me till the end. i hope it’s provided at least a rough sketch of what i mean when i talk about the white man or The Man and i hope it’s given you something to think about. i apologize for not going into the history of the usage of “The White Man” or “The Man”..i started writing this on a whim & haven’t done a historical dive. please forgive me for that. thank you.

#whiteness #whitesupremacy #culture

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