#i literally shared the story of the time i stapled my thumb

[keplercryptids]

the more i run ttrpgs, especially in systems other than d&d 5e, the less i'm interested in a culture of secret-keeping at the table.

by that i mean, characters can and should have narrative secrets. that can lead to plot hooks, character growth, etc. characters having (temporary) secrets can be a good thing, but i don't think players should have narrative secrets between them, as a general rule.

when the players have more knowledge than their characters, they can make more interesting narrative decisions. they can choose to explore certain themes, start specific conversations or introduce interesting parallels that they simply would not be able to do otherwise.

i started implementing this culture shift with my newest campaign by being upfront with my players that "secret" back stories weren't going to be a thing. in fact, we played a couple sessions for each PC, exploring elements of their back story. these are details that the characters don't know about each other, but now the players do. it's been a blast, everyone is so much more invested in each other's characters and their stories, and there literally hasn't been a single downside to this approach. like. IMO we're just immediately telling a better, more cohesive story.

with PCs, a general rule of thumb i follow is that any secrets the players keep from each other should be: 1) rare, 2) relatively unimportant to the overall story, and 3) resolved quickly during play. meaning: if you do have a secret, you won't have it for long.

as the GM, of course there will be some secrets **i** have to keep from the players - but honestly, i'm finding that with this culture shift, i also have fewer secrets. part of that is that we're playing scum and villainy, where by design a lot more information is shared with the players about the machinations of the world, etc. but part of it is that i am finding a lot of fun and fulfillment in letting my players know more than i might have when i first started GMing.

for example. in our campaign setting, everybody has a shadow signifier, meaning that their shadows take on a unique shape/symbol. my players have access to a document listing a bunch of factions in the world, as well as notable NPCs and their signifier shadows. last session, i introduced NPCs with fake names or completely unknown identities, but visible signifiers. and it was honestly a thrill for all of us once the players caught on and began searching for these signifiers within that document, and gaining meta knowledge of who these NPCs actually were. having this knowledge 1) is much more interesting for the players, and 2) can make it so the characters start exploring areas of the world they may not have known to explore.

i think belligerent secret-keeping is kind of a d&d cultural staple, and this is partly out of fear of "metagaming." but the more i GM, the less and less i care about metagaming, and in fact am starting to embrace it. some of the gameplay is more fun if it's meta. the story is often better when it's one we're telling on purpose. i trust my players not to use meta information in a way that's unfun, they trust me to divulge information in a fair and balanced way, and it feels much more like we're all on the same team and learning things about the world at the same time.

regardless of systems i play in the future, i am going to keep "no out-of-character secrets" as a blanket rule from now on.

[disasterjones]

Ilysm Jones you're super cool

again, this is sweet, but I must impress how incredibly uncool I am, please do not believe my behavior is any indicator of How Cool People Act, it is wrong and will lead you astray

[growup-thatbeautiful]

Clone Wars Character on TikTok

Anakin- Poor Anakin, man does not have a that many creative ideas, but his life and ideas are strange enough that he gets a lot of followers easily. He’s also almost constantly videoing things too, so he’s able to get real time. There are so so many videos showing the reactions that Obi-Wan has because of his dumbass plans.

Everyone, literally everyone, thought he was an f-boy until he made a post, super confused, saying that he has a wife?? That he loves so much? So, coincidentally, the next videos he posts are him and his wife, who doesn’t show her face but there’s a poll going on about who it is. Most people have figured it, though, because some of his videos are him just listening to Mrs. Skywalker rant about people in the Senate when she comes home to him.

He also tries to convince everyone that he’s the best husband in the world by videoing himself cooking her dinner, which he always burns. In those videos, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, staples on Anakin’s account, are heard in the background giving him absolutely terrible advice on how to fix it. They usually end up with burnt pans and a whole bunch of frantic clips of Obi-Wan trying to turn off the oven, “My dear, your time is up.” And Anakin in the background “Force, that’s not going to kriffing work, Master. I’m coming in with the water gun.” (No one questions why there’s a water gun.) Ahsoka is just….chilling in the background. She’s just as clueless as the rest of them, but it’s funnier to watch them almost burn down Padame’s kitchen before she tries to step in and make things worse.

Ahsoka-Her feed is a more controlled chaos than Anakin’s, but chaos nonetheless. She does a lot of dance challenges with Fives, and is sometimes able to rope in Anakin, who tries really hard but is terrible at it, and Rex, who doesn’t actually dance and just stands there staring at the camera. There was one time she got Obi-Wan to do it with her, and he absolutely crushed it. All that grace has to help him somewhere else, right? Because she does dance videos, though, sometimes she get inappropriate comments or duets, which Rex, Obi-Wan, Plo, Fives, and Anakin all duet or make a video about explaining that she’s a minor and how unacceptable this is. Well, that’s what every but Rex does. Rex won’t let anyone, anyone, talk to his little sister like that, so he makes a super menacing video of him cleaning his guns.

Needless to say, she does a lot of videos with Rex. They do a lot of random videos of their conversations and pointless arguments. They also do so a lot of competitions with each other, rather it’s staring contests or sparring matches. Their sparring match videos are actually super popular, and they get more and more intense and complicated as they go on. There are never any weapons involved, but they get to show off combat skills and have huge fights across the ship or compound. Their usually filmed by a hysterical Anakin or Fives. Obi-Wan has made his disapproval clear, but there’s a video on Ahsoka’s account of him betting on the outcome.

Obi-Wan- Mostly on Cottagecore TikTok and posts aesthetic videos of him meditating, making fancy, pretty tea drinks, or any other mundane thing he does. He also posts self-defense videos to teach people how to protect themselves, and gives tips of how to use the force and how to help meditate. I think he posts once a week, but posts a bunch at one time because he’ll have one day of silence where he can get stuff for himself done. Basically, his account is to comfort people, to help people, in perfect Obi-Wan fashion.

He also posts encouraging videos to cheer people up when they need it. Cute messages like “Today’s going to be a good day” with that award winning Negotiator smile that get galaxy wide comments and duets. Sometimes the messages border on him illegally sharing decisions that the Senate’s made, like when he announced on his feed that a certain Planet should get ready to party because a certain vote had gone a certain way.

Sometimes, though, he posts videos of Ahsoka, Anakin, or Cody doing incredibly stupid things. It’s become a series, he shows the person do or say the stupidest things, and then he zooms in on someone else’s face. The most common duo is Anakin and Rex, but sometimes there’s Waxer and Cody, once or twice, Obi-Wan and Cody.

Rex- He doesn’t post a lot, and when he does he’s usually not really in them. People only know him specifically because he’s in so many of Ahsoka’s videos. His are mostly “the stuff I have to deal with videos” showing petty fights between some of the 501st or some animal that a soldier decided they wanted to sneak into the ship. That, of course, lead to a blowup on his account, so he started posting lots of content with his brothers. Ahsoka has the notion that he’s doing it to help the way people see Clones, but he does seem to enjoy it a lot.

He, like Obi-Wan, posts hand to hand combat training video to help people in the galaxy, put his training to more use. He makes sure to show how to hold your first in a punch, how to safely clean a blaster, how to take a punch. Some of his posts are to teach people about clones and mando’a traditions. But he’s not all serious. He likes making videos of him and his brothers when they go out to do things for fun or they go out to 79’s.

This one might be a bit far fetched, but I think he would also post videos of him and Ahsoka doing mundane things together, repainting their armour, making bracelets or some stuff on the floors of the bunks during hyperspace. It’s calmer than what Ahsoka posts, and purposely so.

Fives-Oh man. Fives’ account is a wreck. Half of the videos are him running away from something he’s done and the other half are him running into things that he shouldn’t about to be doing. Shakily filmed, someone (usually himself) screaming in the background, you can hear him panting and out of breath. A lot of the times Anakin is with him or chasing after him, and as you can almost always hear Rex cursing and yelling at them to stop, especially if they haven’t done the thing yet because that means they have a plan. When Fives has a plan it ends up being worse than when he makes it up on the spot. 

He also posts videos of him giving people in the streets compliments, because he’s sweet like that. He usually gets pretty funny reactions most of the time, and the few times they’re bad reactions he simply flips the camera and grimaces, then, of course, starts laughing because he’s not going to let one person put him down.

He also has a series of him painting the Bi flag all over the ship and waiting to see people’s reactions. The cutest was that one time Ahsoka walked past and ran her fingers along it softly and smiling. Also notable was the time Obi-Wan caught him midway through and just pretended he didn’t see him. All of those are posted with the persons permission, of course.

Aayla and Bly- They share an account where they do ALL of the couple-y stuff. Any couples challenge that they’re asked to do, they do. It’s hard to do the challenges like “You could��ve been nicer to me today” because they’re both on it all the time and have definitely heard of it, but they make do with all kinds of others. Aayla and Bly are definitely one of those couples that adopts all the kids that follow their account, and they’re ready to fight anyone who says anything bad the Clones or the Jedi.

There’s also a large amount of videos that some of the 327th takes of them cuddling together, training together, polishing weapons together. Basically, their account is them being cute and the rest of the 327th either being incredibly supportive of them or gagging at all the PDA. They start a trend where they go up in front of random people around the ship and start making out to get the reaction. Some examples of the best reactions are franticly running outside of the room, slapping Bly across the back of the head, and wild cheering.

Cody: You’re kidding, right? He does not have time to do the TikTok, nor does he understand TikTok at all. He is in most of Obi-Wan’s videos, and he’s sometimes in Rex’s too. Most of the time he’s telling all of them not to do whatever they’re about to do, or he’s sitting on the floor and crying with Rex.

Anakin actually started making videos called “When you see your dad and your other dad be romantic.” Where it’s just him finding Obi-Wan and Cody doing cute things in random places, followed by Anakin or Ahsoka making faces at the camera.

Plo- Parent side of TikTok for sure. His account features so many, so many, videos of him doing fun things with the 104th. He may seem like an extremely serious man, but put him with all of his kids and has almost no impulse control. They ask to stop at that restaurant they saw on the way to their mission, and he makes it happen. Everyone pretends not to notice because they wouldn’t dare go against him.

This account is also mostly run by everyone in the 104th because A. Plo doesn’t have a password and B. That’s how they get a bunch of footage. The phone is passed around throughout the day, but all of the content focuses on the Plo’s Bros relationships. Anything that he does, from giving a shiny a thumbs up when he comes up with a new plan, to teaching some of the older clones who are a little overworked how to take deep breaths. All the followers also a learn the Plo is absolutely terrible at any kind of card games, which is shown when they post video after video of the bets he looses.

Next for Star Wars I’ll be doing Bad Batch, then, because this got so long, I’ll do one with some more characters! Sorry it’s so long, this ran away from me a bit.

Some clone wars beautiful mutuals @radbatch (Who is the absolute best person to talk to about Ahsoka ever period end of story) of course and @maiseey (Who is now my my mutual? How?)

[bbq-hawks-wings]

Chapter 316: BBQ is capable of critiquing BNHA and… Oh boy.

Let's start this off properly, Horikoshi's typical quality of writing has been diminishing in recent chapters, but this week it was so different that it didn't even feel like Horikoshi was the one who wrote it.

To be clear, I'm not blaming Horikoshi for the issues I'm about to bring up. The man is criminally overworked, usually doesn't even get the final say in what makes it in the final drafts, and even in his other rough patches he's still produced decent chapters that hold up amongst the grand scheme of things. This feels like something else is going on behind the scenes, and while I have my suspicions on who/what might be the culprit behind it, I choose not to share it at this time because if I name names some people might go off on a crusade, and that's not what I want.

I just want to be clear that I'm not blindly firing off shots in the dark, but despite my frustrations I want to wait to see if this gets resolved down the line, and while I do I can complain about the specific reasons this chapter left such a bitter taste in my mouth.

Buckle up, buttercups, because we got a lot of points to cover.

Where's the Gun?

Not a literal gun, but I mean Chekhov's Gun. It has always been a staple of Horikoshi's writing and the reason so many of his long-standing plot lines have paid off so well.

Chekhov's Gun is a writing principal that if you see a gun on the table in the first act of a play, it will be used in the murder that happens in act 2. Basically, the author should include details that are relevant to the story and not betray the audience by leading them in one direction and at the last minute pull the rug out from underneath them to go in another direction.

Horikoshi has done this to phenomenal success in the past. Just as one example, he dropped hints about Nomu being human experiments early in the series but held off explicitly stating it for a while. He hinted at the loss of Shirakumo in the main narrative and that he was important to Aizawa and Mic as well as approved it for Vigilantes so when it was revealed that Kurogiri was Shirakumo's body, not only did it narratively make sense but it also pulled in Eraserhead and Present Mic's emotional stakes into the battle with the Doctor, and then when Ujiko reveals he was after Aizawa's quirk the whole time it made the payoff for Mic punching him in the face all that much better and brings the weight of his crimes and the impact they have on the victims full circle.

That's 3 different guns paying off in the long run: the Nomu, Shirakumo, and both Mic and Eraserheads' personal arcs past the loss of their childhood friend and that they could finally finish processing their grief and avenge him in full righteous fury instead of chalking it all up to cruel chance.

He has left details, some particularly innocuously, in plot lines like the Touya Todoroki reveal, Hawks' backstory, Shigaraki's blood connection to Nana Shimura, even with Mr. Compress's backstory, and more. When re-read, these details become more obvious and usually leaves us with a greater sense of satisfaction in the plot knowing that twists and turns were not only planned, but built up to and hinted at for us to find so the payoff is that much better and it feels purposeful instead of just shock factor.

None of that happened this chapter.

Lady Nagant has zero business being in this plotline. She was never hinted about before this arc, and her existence does nothing to tell us about the plot moving forward or the world that they're trying to change. Nothing her existence provides actually has any bearing on the universe or tells us anything we don't already know. But that's not how she was presented.

In the beginning we're given a glimpse of her helping Overhaul escape from Tartarus. The focus on her was odd enough to begin with as a new character, and the fact that she didn't look like she fit the profile of someone who belonged in Tartarus was like a flashing neon sign saying, "Pay attention! This new character is important!!!" She then shows up later with Overhaul in hand to attack Deku out of the blue. We get her talking about how she thought Overhaul might be useful and her disillusions with Hero Society. We catch her mannerisms with eery similarity to Hawks only to find out immediately after she was a senior colleague in the HPSC. Never once to my knowledge has Hawks referred to any of his senior colleagues as a "senpai" - not even his fellow heroes - and when he catches her in midair, he uses the words, "Don't die on me, senpai!" as if she's near and dear to his heart.

The entire character arc is set up for her to have known about Hawks and grapple with her desire to help people and her fear of re-creating what she hated, and this also set up Hawks to be the successor who succeeded where she failed and helped bring her to a place where she could be a hero without guilt again. What actually happened?

They're strangers.

They have never actually met before, and while he seems to know a lot about her, she doesn't even seem to have any idea of who he was - at least as far as being another hero under the thumb of the HPSC. So ALLLL that setup, all that gesturing, and all of the potential themes that would be right at home in an arc like this goes completely out the window.

Her story doesn't tell us anything new. The HPSC bad. We knew that. They're not above throwing innocents under the bus to achieve that goal. We knew that. They preyed upon young hopefuls with powerful quirks with the intent to maintain the status quo. We knew that even if the fact that Hawks isn't the only one now makes more questions than answers. We know that these young heroes can never say no under threat of steep, life-shattering consequences. We knew that already.

So what does Lady Nagant even bring to the table?! The entire "you're just a puppet doing what you've been told" angle is a little tired and out of place in this point and time with actual anarchy in the streets (not to mention hypocritical considering she was a blind puppet following orders and offers zero actual solutions that supposedly fall in line with her heroic nature), and it could have been left to any number of other villain characters who could have executed on the theme better - you know, like Shigaraki who's justification this entire time has been, "hero society doesn't make people safe, it just makes them feel safe" from the moment of his inception.

So from that angle she's unnecessary.

Her presence messes with the continuity of the series as well. If Hawks is supposed to explicitly replace her, that would mean that he wasn't just a fluke find on the commission's part and grabbed to mold into their own special superweapon; and that also would mean that her killing of the former president was before he was discovered which should put her at least in her forties. If this isn't the case, and he was meant to simply replace her in a "special agent" case, that still begs the question of how many more gifted children the commission preyed upon and are still out there.

And maybe the worst kicker for me is that something stinks. The way the art in this chapter is presented, if you completely blanked out the speech bubbles, is the same setup I had before - Hawks reaches out to his former mentor and pulls her from the brink of despair with a moving message about why he never gave up hope in being a hero who could actually make a difference.

Again, this is not what we got. He claims he knows her, and it's implied to have been a deep, personal character witness; but at best he only knows about her from secondhand sources. Even his reasoning as to how he never lost hope doesn't vibe with his character.

We have gotten so many cool one-liners for Hawks, but there has always been a consistent tone and imagery with them.

"Those who can fly, should."

"I don't belong in a cage."

"I'm free of my shackles."

"Can I be a shining light, just like him?"

What we got was, "I'm an optimist to a fault" which was the wording the official release went with and was by far the best iteration I have seen, but even this falls short of being truly in character for him and answering her question properly.

@mikeana made an edit of the titular panels for us Hawks stans this week with dialogue we and a few other friends felt was more fitting not only with the imagery of the chapter itself but internally consistent with the specific expressions Hawks uses in his heartfelt, personal dialogue. I just tweaked it a little bit more to fit what I was going for in our original conversation.

Which brings me to another concern.

2. What's the point?

There was no use for Nagant in the series as she's been presented so far. But more than that, Hawks has no business in this fight to begin with. He literally did nothing to earn this emotional moment, and this should have been Deku's moment.

We were teased in an interview with Horikoshi that Hawks was going to get a special moment as an important end-game character as a "shining light" of hope for others to follow as well as promises for Ochako to have another moment in the spotlight to make a difference.

If this was Hawks' shining light moment, it wasn't necessary, and it does nothing to move the plot forward or develop characters in any true or believable way. It just happened because plot. This should have been Deku's victory through and through, and even he is the reason BOTH Hawks and Nagant made it out alive instead of painting the street below them.

Deku's victory was stolen from him, too. It sours the other promises made to us about other characters moving forward, as well, if this really was Hawks' "Shining Light" moment.

By the way, did you forget about Overhaul? Me too!!! What was the point of getting our hopes up about reintroducing this beloved character with the implications this was a major arc setup to have him scream about pops and then get detained with no clues about what's going to happen to him besides, "Say you're sorry to Eri, and you get to see pops"?!

All this posturing and clumsy narrative flailing only actually succeeded in getting Deku in front of AFO again for plot when we already know Mr. Potato Head could summon, show himself to, or find Deku at any time he wanted. But instead we get this time skip with a bunch of heroes completely mended walking into a big, spooky mansion for AFO to evil monologue at Deku for… *counts*

FOUR PAGES!!!

Only to then give him the "I want YOU!" point over a pre-recorded message and the final nail in the coffin to me that something is off.

3. Ex-pu-LOOOO-SHUN!

It's become almost a game among friends to count how many explosions have happened since the end of the war arc - and specifically fake-out explosions. In the end of 311 we get All Might's car attacked via explosion and Deku cornered by Nagant only for All Might to be fine in the next chapter. In 315 Lady Nagant herself explodes in a blaze of glory to once again not be dead.

Gee! I wOnDeR if aLl the heroes were AcTuAlLy cornered and KiLlEd in that explosion in the mansion!

None of us do. They're fine. We're going to see it first thing next week. The shock has worn off, and it's repetitive and annoying at this point. There is no cliffhanger despite how the framing might try to tell you otherwise.

It's BAD WRITING.

The writing has been moving far too quickly and clumsily with no explanation in sight, and even character interactions are being cut short to the point of them being meaningless and empty.

This doesn't even feel like Horikoshi's bad writing. It feels like someone else is trying to call the shots and rushing him through these final bits of the series, and he's run out of things he's previously set up for months and months to reappear so someone is trying to get Dabi-reveal levels of attention with arcs and storylines that don't have the build-up to result in a satisfactory payoff.

4. At least it can get better... I hope.

Maybe those who share my suspicions or know what particular suspicions I have are with me in believing that this is a temporary disappointment and we haven't seen the last of the writing that's captivated me for years. I don't blame Horikoshi for these glaring faults that all came to a head in this chapter.

It CAN get better later, and I think it WILL- we just probably are going to have to wait for it. Until then, I'm going to enjoy the Hawks panels we got, maybe edit the last few chapters to be more in line with something more like the BNHA I know in a "fix it fic" fashion so I don't groan in anticipation of how long it might take us to get there.

See you all next week, hopefully on a much brighter note.

[right-brain-of-froggy2]

Christmas in July: Bonus Day 26

Here's the first extra, little peek into Lucy’s cookie recipe book! An accompaniment to Chapter 7: Wonderful Christmastime with the cookie baking day.

Literally it's just recipes with a little story drabble before and after to try and tie it in lmao All the recipes here are actual ones that my family will make on our own "cookie baking day" that we distribute out. Quite a few are American Midwest staples that I've grown up with and hopefully you all enjoy as much as I do, others are commonplace. My mentality has always been to excitedly share recipes and never keep them a "family secret" as that's not quite as fun :)

I was a little short on time today and didn't convert any measurements. I'm planning to edit them in sooner than later for metric!

“John! You done yet?”

Alan peeks over his ginger brother’s shoulder to the raw dough sitting on the counter. It had just been pulled out of the fridge and is waiting being scooped onto trays. A warm smell drifts from the oven. Something familiar in a far-off way.

“Just about,” John mumbles as he flips through Lucy’s cookbook. It’s been through a lot. Over one hundred years of recipes and paper barely holding together under Virgil’s saving lamination. He runs his thumb down the worn page before finding what he needs.

He grabs the teaspoon and the jam. John starts filling the dough balls, pressed down enough to hold the sweet raspberry jam. Alan’s more interested in the cookbook, though.

“This is Mom’s, right?”

“Yup.”

“Ooh! Can we make these?” Alan points to a recipe that has ingredients not on the island. John smiles.

“Ask Scott to make a run for you. We’ll do it later this week if we’ve got the downtime.”

Alan nods. He’s happy with that answer. John pulls the still warm chocolate cookies out of the oven and pops the new ones in. Alan sneaks one, burns his fingers without a care, and settles in to flip through the rest of Lucy’s recipes.

     Snickerdoodles:

 Ingredients:

1C shortening (part butter)

1 1/2C white sugar

2 eggs

2 3/4 C flour

2tsp cream of tartar

1tsp baking soda

1/4tsp salt

2T white sugar (separate from 1 1/2C)

2tsp cinnamon

 Instructions:

Preheat oven to 400F. Sift together flour, cream of tartar, soda, and salt. Set aside. Cream shortening and sugar. Once a smooth consistency, add in eggs. Fold in flour mixture. Form into balls the size of walnuts. Roll in cinnamon-sugar mixture until covered on all sides. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes on an ungreased cookie sheet.

 Pecan Tassies:

 Ingredients:

Tart:

1/2C butter, softened

3 ounces cream cheese, softened

1C flour

Filling:

1 egg

3/4C brown sugar

1T butter, melted

1tsp vanilla

1/2C pecans, coarsely chopped

 Instructions:

Cream together butter and cream cheese. Stir in flour. Cover and chill dough for 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 325F. Beat together egg, brown sugar, melted butter, and vanilla for the filling. Stir in pecans. Shape the dough into 1” balls and press into the bottom and up the sides of a mini muffin tin. Fill each with 1 heaping teaspoon of filling. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes. Cool for 5 minutes in pan before moving to a wire rack.

 Rolo Cookies:

 Ingredients:

2 1/2C flour

3/4C cocoa powder

1tsp baking soda

1C white sugar

1C brown sugar

1C butter, softened

2tsp vanilla

2 eggs

~48 Rolo candies

2T white sugar

4 ounces vanilla almond bark

 Instructions:

Preheat oven to 375F. Mix flour, cocoa powder, and soda together in bowl and set aside. Cream butter and sugars together until light and smooth. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Stir dry ingredients into wet mixture and mix well.

Lightly flour hands. Shape around 1T of dough into a ball around 1 Rolo (or other chocolate covered caramel candy). Repeat until dough runs out. Roll balls in the 2T of white sugar and put onto baking sheet. Bake for 7 to 10 minutes, until cookie is set and slightly cracked on top. Cool on baking sheet for 2 minutes before transferring to wire rack. Let cool completely before melting almond bark and drizzling over the top.

 Oreo Balls:

 Ingredients:

1 package Oreos

1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened

1 package vanilla almond bark

 Instructions:

Crush Oreos until fine. A food processor works best, but a blender or placing the cookies into a bag and crushing with a rolling pin works as well. Combine with the cream cheese in a large bowl. Beat together with electric mixer until a smooth consistency with no cream cheese lumps. Roll into balls and freeze for at least two hours.

Melt the almond bark until smooth with no chunks. Dip frozen Oreo balls into almond bark and place on wax paper. For an even coat that does not have pieces of Oreo in the coating, dip a second time into fresh almond bark. Refrigerate.  

 Cheater’s Fudge:

 Ingredients:

3C semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 can (14 ounces) sweetened condensed milk

Dash of salt

1 1/2 tsp vanilla

 Instructions:

Line an 8” or 9” square pan with aluminum foil. Butter the foil and set aside.

In a large saucepan, melt chocolate chips with sweetened condensed milk and salt. Remove from heat once fully melted and smooth. Stir in vanilla and spread into prepared pan.

Chill for 2 hours or until firm. Turn fudge out onto cutting board and cut into even bite-sized squares. Store covered in refrigerator.

   Thumbprint Cookies:

 Ingredients:

Dough:

2C + 2T flour

1/4tsp salt

1C unsalted butter, cold and diced into 1T chunks

2/3C white sugar

1/2tsp vanilla

1/2C seedless raspberry jam (or jam of choice, apricot is also amazing with this recipe)

Glaze:

1C powdered sugar

1tsp vanilla

2-4tsp water

 Instructions:

Whisk together flour and salt in small bowl and set aside. Cream butter and sugar. Add in vanilla. Mix in flour mixture until it forms a smooth dough (it will be very crumbly and dry when you first start mixing). Shape dough into 1” balls and place on ungreased baking sheet. Make a small indent with thumb in the center of each ball. Fill with 1/2tsp jam. Chill in refrigerator for 20 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350F. Place chilled cookies directly into oven and bake 14 to 18 minutes. Cool for 2 minutes on sheet before transferring to wire rack.

Whisk together powdered sugar, vanilla, and water to make the glaze. You may vary the amount of water added to get your desired consistency. Once cookies are cooled, drizzle over top.

 Crinkle Snowcaps:

 Ingredients:

1 1/2C four

1 1/2tsp baking powder

1/4tsp salt

2C semi-sweet chocolate chips

1C white sugar

2T margarine, softened

1 1/2tsp vanilla

2 egg whites

1/4C water

1/2C white sugar (for rolling)

1/2C powdered sugar (for rolling)

 Instructions:

In a small bowl, combine flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside. In a small saucepan, melt 1C of chocolate chips over low heat. Stir until smooth and remove from heat. In a large bowl, beat sugar, margarine, and vanilla. Beat in the melted chocolate, followed by the egg whites. Gradually mix in the dry ingredients. Alternate with small amounts of the water. Stir in remaining chocolate chips. Cover and chill around 2 hours.

Preheat oven to 350F. Shape dough into balls the size of walnuts. Coat in a light layer of white sugar before rolling and coating generously in powdered sugar. Bake on greased cookie sheets for 10 to 15 minutes until sides are set but centers are slightly soft. Cool for 2 minutes on the sheet before moving to wire racks.

 Spritz Cookies:

 Ingredients:

1 1/2 C butter (do NOT substitute)

1 egg

4C sifted cake flour

1tsp baking powder

1C white sugar

2tsp vanilla

 Instructions:

Preheat oven to 400F. Cream together butter and sugar. Beat egg in a separate bowl before adding to sugar-butter mixture along with the vanilla. Beat well. Sift together cake flour and baking powder before adding to creamed mixture. Stir until very smooth. Using a cookie press, form cookies. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes.

       Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies:

 Ingredients:

1C shortening, butter flavored

1C white sugar

1C brown sugar

2 eggs

1tsp vanilla

2C flour

1tsp baking soda

1tsp baking powder

Dash of salt

2C quick oats

1C chocolate chips

 Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350F. Sift together flour, baking powder, soda, and salt. Set aside. Cream shortening and sugar. Once a smooth consistency, add in eggs. Add in flour mixture until one consistency. Stir in oatmeal by hand, and then followed by chocolate chips. Place on cookie sheet and flatten with glass dipped in sugar. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes. Cookies will be crunchy and are not soft.

“International Rescue, we have a situation.”

“Go ahead, EOS.”

John wipes his hands of dough as EOS pulls up a schematic of Neptune and its moons. “It appears that a solar system probe is going haywire. A crew of two are requesting assistance.”

“Alan?”

“F.A.B.”

Alan bookmarks Lucy’s cookbook. He’s halfway through the cookie recipes, but missions come first. He’ll finish them another day.

[princesssarcastia]

2021 Harry Potter Fanfic Primer

im here to point fingers at the incredible authors that have enabled my new interest in HP content.  im still conflicted and upset about it, tbh, but for now we’re leaning into the curve.  we’re getting out our shovel and finding out just how deep we can make the hole we’re in.  hand in unlovable hand my beloved <3.  anyway, these fics are wonderful, their authors are wonderful, and you should go read their stuff. if there’s a star next to it that means im losing my mind over it and always will be.

Creatively Maladjusted, by elumish on AO3, 101k  (they also have a wonderful writing advice blog on tumblr, @elumish, which I recommend following if you are a writer) 

A very excellent re-telling of harry’s first year at hogwarts if he were sorted into Slytherin, plus some more not!fic or piecemeal re-tellings of his second and part of his third year.  Harry, in this, has a slightly different trauma response to growing up with the Dursley’s.  He’s a bit quieter, and the signs are a bit more obvious to the people around him, and I enjoyed that immensely. 

Honestly, if you’re going to get sucked into something you have absolutely no business getting sucked into, elumish is the way to go, their fic is incredible. their teen wolf fic is also immaculate, if you’re so inclined. 

Dissonance, by ImpishTubist on AO3, 2.5k (@impishtubist on tumblr)

Set during fifth year.  Oblivious!Harry has always been a delightful trope when well executed, and this is well executed.  Plus, some angst between Remus and Harry over what Umbridge has been doing to him.

I would certainly recommend a lot of ImpishTubist’s other hp work on AO3, like Lacuna.

blow us all away, by rexcorvidae on AO3, 23k (@rexcorvidae on tumblr)

In progress (like, updated last week in progress).  Currently in the beginning of Harry’s first year.  Fem!Harry, Indian!Harry.  Hagrid puts Harry in touch with Remus when she has questions about her parents, and they become reluctant, traumatized, angst-ridden pen pals who keep missing each other’s true intentions like ships in the night.  hot DAMN do I love this fic.  there’s hints of the way the dursley’s treat Harry peaking through in her letters, and I appreciated the attention to “hmm, her experience as a girl of indian descent in britain under the thumb of a bunch of white people who like being Normal may not have been gucci”

Definitely comb through the rest of their HP fic, too, I may or may not have gone feral over it.

Where the Heart is, by silver_fish on AO3, 15k (@kohakhearts on tumblr)

Woof.  This one said, “hey, harry was probably SUPER depressed in the summer after fifth year.  like, clinically.  maybe someone should do something about that.”  Fuck yeah.  Then this one said, “that someone was Snape.”  You all know my opinions on Snape; generally, Bad.  But damn if this fic didn’t wholly convince me by the end of it.  I thought it was a very realistic way for Snape to start seeing Harry as a person all on his own, and not a proxy for Snape’s angst over James and Lily, respectively.  The angst is wonderful, the ending is even more so.

*bernie sanders voice* I am once again asking you to read through the rest of the author’s HP fic.  a lot of them have similar themes; there’s actually a great one with Molly that i’m not reccing here, Wonder.

☆Bindings, Bindings, by Quietlemonhush on AO3, 60k (@quietlemonhush on tumblr)

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOYED/AM ENJOYING THIS.  If I had to pick a single fic and say “you, it’s your fault I’m stuck here,” it would be this one.  Anyway Lily in the afterlife is So Very Angry about how Petunia is treating Harry, and how Sirius is rotting in Azkaban, and how Remus is alone, that she literally brings herself back to life and drags James and Regulus with her.  All three of them are there to chew bubblegum and fix everything that went wrong after they died—and would you look at that, they’re all out of bubblegum!  There’s only Fury left.  That inciting premise is very crack, but every moment after that is very much not crack.  Lily and James love harry more than anything, the way a child should be loved; James and Sirius have the epic friendship of a lifetime; Sirius and Remus have staggering amounts of resolved sexual tension and take turns keeping each other in check; Regulus, though he realized that Voldemort and his family were shit before he died, is still unlearning all his racist bullshit and, also, years of trauma.  Actually, they’re all traumatized, but hey: now they have one another again and not a damn one of them seems inclined to let go anytime soon.  Quietlemonhush went, “hey, HP has a lot of Awful people in it, and a lot of Righteous people in it, and many of them are Very, Very Powerful; also, love is the most powerful force in the universe” and i said “hell yes tell me more right now.”  And then they did!

Quietlemonhush writes Sirius/Remus in a way that makes it sooo much fun to devour, so the rest of their HP fic is most certainly worth a look, if that’s your thing.

Rebuilding, by Colubrina on AO3, 113k (@colubrina on tumblr)

Hermione/Draco (*shrug emojis into the abyss* yeah, yeah, like none of us have ever been there before).  Takes place during Hogwarts 8th year, and while the beginning is, IMO, a little unfair to Ron, it gets much better.  Tells the story of Hermione and Draco clearing the air, learning to like each other, having some hormones over each other, and then falling in love.  Also tells the story of Hermione and Theo Nott becoming friends; the story of how every single 7th and 8th year student is fucked to hell by the war and the Carrows; the story of how they start an emotional support group about it and all become friends; and the story of, what the hell do you do with yourself after that kind of trauma?

I’ve been dipping in and out of Colubrina’s HP since before I was even on tumblr; I actually found them in those dark yesteryears when the only fandom interactions I had were on fanfiction.net.  Of such fame as Green Girl, which is an HP fic staple, and has also written a lot of wackier, crackier, and darker things than that.  If you don’t take yourself too seriously, I highly recommend many of their big HP works, though I imagine it’ll press some people’s buttons.  Colubrina’s work really does take up a corner of my mind whenever I’m in an HP mood, and will take up yours if you let it.

☆ all waiting is long, by shuofthewind on AO3, 149k ( @shu-of-the-wind on tumblr)

This is so well written that I can’t stop thinking about it.  It is occupying my mind when I lie awake at night, you know?  It’s one of those.  Hermione messes with something she probably shouldn’t have in Grimmauld Place, so when Sirius is sent through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries, she gets thrust into an alternate universe...in 1975.  Instead of handwaving it away, shuofthewind actually gets into the mechanics of it in a way that makes sense, to emphasize that hermione is never going home.  ever. The world she finds herself is shifted slightly to the left, quite a bit darker, but in a “the author is treating the idea of a society-wide conflict over blood purity much more seriously than JKR ever did” way, not a sensationalist way.  Now, Hermione has to grapple with all her grief at losing everyone she’s ever loved or known, the moral/ethical/magical implications of sharing what she knows about her future in an alternate world, and, you know, a goddamn war with people who want to murder her for being who she is.  This Hermione is smart, and she’s kind, and she’s powerful, and she’s making real friends.  If you hate JKR’s guts I’d go read this right now, because it delivers in all the ways she failed us.  It’s plotty, its got great world-building, and it pulls back the white curtain on the wizarding world to show you that, like real life, it’s multicultural and full of queer people...and the discrimination that comes with both.

shuofthewind write epics, mainly for the MCU, and I’ve read some of them a looooong time ago, so this fic kinda seemed out of left field for me but im SOOOO GLAD it exists.  If you want MCU fic you can sink your teeth into, go for it, but alas, they do not have any more HP fic (.......yet?)

Speak Now [+] Listen Now, by mrsfrizzle on AO3, 33k altogether

Harry reaches out to Remus for support because Umbridge is getting to him with her literal torture.  Remus, being a former professor, former mandatory reporter, person who loves Harry and has since he was born, and all around good man, tells Harry he has to tell someone, or Remus will.  It’s everything any adult looking back on that time in HP canon ever wanted, which is for an actual adult to say “what the fuck, those are literal chidlren” and then do something about it.  Then, a far more dangerous task: Harry trusts Remus enough to go to him about the Dursleys.  Harry and Remus’ relationship develops SO WELL, and there’s a bit of exploration about how Sirius may not exactly be guardian material, because he did in fact spend 12 years of his life getting tortured instead of growing up.  I think I’m actually going to go reread this right now, because it speaks to my id.

they do have some other HP fic which did not appeal to my hyperspecific wants, but may appeal to some of yours.  I think they’re also a published author, there should be a link on their profile page.

chase the stars, by Duskglass on AO3, 101k (@felix-duskglass on tumblr)

When Harry is five years old, a picture of him ends up in the Daily Prophet, and Sirius Black, Terror of Ministry Officials Touring Azkaban everywhere, gets a hold of that issue.  He then, in order: breaks out of Azkaban; crosses the countryside to Surrey; Finds Harry: Kidnaps Harry; Breaks Into Remus’ Apartment; starts processing (or maybe just acknowledging) his trauma from Azkaban, the war, and his childhood; and pines after Remus.  It’s a little plotty, and deals a lot (sometimes through flashbacks) with the specific awful things that happened to Sirius—largely because, after years in the constant presence of Dementors, those are nearly literally the only memories he has left.  It’s a wonder he’s got the strength to love Harry and Remus at all.  But then, maybe it isn’t.

This is a Very Serious Fic, but the rest of Duskglass’s HP work is actually just cracky enough to tickle your funny-bone, while still making you think “okay but why couldn’t we have done that in the first place.”

So!  That’s it for recs, for now.  These are all things I’ve found and read in the last month; if any of y’all are interested in my old HP recs, let me know and I can make a post for that, too.  While I’m still very conflicted about my choice of current fandom, I am not in ANY way conflicted about my taste in fic and authors.  Send these guys some love, read their fic if you’re so inclined, and leave some nice comments at the end of it.

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats #16 | Trilogy of Lust (Lee & Mou, 1995)

Trilogy of Lust, the first Hong Kong hardcore picture I've seen, has a misleading title, to say the least. It's not an anthology movie with three segments. It's technically part of a trilogy, but from having seen the second film and what I could glean from the plot synopsis of the third, the movies don't seem especially related (and indeed, the star of this one is only in one of the sequels). And it's certainly bold to declare yourself a trilogy with just the first installment. The only other thing I can think that the title is referring to is the central relationships, between a fisherman, his badly treated wife and the farmer with whom she starts an affair, but trilogy is a weird way to refer to a group of people. Triangle of Lust doesn't sound much worse to my ears, but perhaps something gets lost in the translation. What I'm saying is, leave your trilogy-related expectations at the door. Anyway, on to the movie.

The fisherman is unpleasant in demeanour, not very bright and spends his days pretending to be a doctor. In fact, he's mad at the world for not letting him achieve his dream of becoming a real doctor (a sentiment expressed most boisterously when he urinates off the edge of his boat screaming "I'm a real doctor, not a fisherman! Fuck your mother, society, the whole world is unfair!"). He takes it out on his wife, whom he bought during a trip to the mainland, which is seen as a corrupt and repressive place, while Hong Kong is presented as cruel and exploitative in its own way. She's stuck hiding away in his home for fear of being deported, with little to do but peruse his porno magazines or take notes while he demonstrates sex with a hooker ("You should write this down, it's important" he says has they demonstrate doggystyle), so ends up having an affair with the kindly farmer who's also being exploited by her husband.

As things between them get hot and heavy, eels, eggs and other acts and appendages figure into the proceedings (literally, in the case of the eggs and the appendages), while the movie makes fitting detours into noir. (There's also a sex scene on top of a hill scored to what sounds like the Blade Runner soundtrack, or at least a good Vangelis imitation.) The sexual content, aside from its own outre nature, is additionally jarring because of the movie's overall slickness. In terms of its visual language and production values, it doesn't feel too different from other Hong Kong productions I've seen from the era, just with the occasional close-up to remind you that you are in fact watching a porno (in one particularly jarring moment, a gruesome murder is followed immediately by a shot of the heroine being vigorously penetrated). (I have not seen any other hardcore productions from Hong Kong, but am interested in digging further if there are any more of this calibre to be found.) The contrast is imbued into the characterization, as the heroine is traumatized from having seen her parents killed by the Red Army as a child, so will have horrific flashbacks at the sight of blood, as when her husband stuffs a bloody fish down her panties or she bites her lover's thumb.

Directing credits go to Julie Lee, who delivers an admirably committed performance as the heroine, and Tun-Fei Mou. I'd previously seen Lee in The Untold Story, the unbelievably scuzzy but effective true crime thriller, and this I found this easier to sit through than that. Mou is best known for Men Behind the Sun, a horror movie about Japanese war crimes in WWII notorious for it's, uh, unorthodox special effects. I am not brave enough to watch that movie, but I did see Lost Souls, his film for Shaw Brothers that similarly concerns exploitation of and cruelty towards migrants from the mainland, and the scene here where the heroine finally gets a clear sight of Hong Kong from a hilltop, is one of its most affecting. The movie is directed with a certain verve that makes this all quite compelling, although for certain viewers, let's call them Level Ones, the sex might seem too icky and weird to enjoy. Level Two viewers, however, will appreciate that the weirdness of the sex matches the escalation of their relationship and is necessary for the film's emotional arc. (Vive l'amour fou!) But the Level Threes in the audience, the real galaxy brains with their degenerate viewing habits, will note that the specificity of the sex acts gives them a certain charge. The ickiness and weirdness are precisely what makes it hot. Where did I land on this spectrum? That's none of your damn business, and I'll remind you that it says in the Bible, "Judge not that ye not be judged."

I did watch the first sequel, which shares the original's star and co-director Lee but is softcore. (Mou is replaced by Jiro Ishimura, who has no other IMDb credits.) Lee once again plays the lead in a completely unrelated story, this time a femme fatale who parades around in revealing leather outfits and goes about having sex with and murdering men she picks up as revenge for having been gang raped as a child. Like the original, this is directed with some level of polish and features its share of eyebrow-raising sexually charged moments (the highlight involves a squid, nipple clamps and a staple gun). Unlike the original, this one doesn't ground its arc in anything resembling real emotion, feeling more like a loose collection of outrageous moments. (There is a potentially intriguing idea involving the transference of sexual and violent trauma, but it's not explored with any thoroughness.) I wasn't bored, and I enjoyed Lee's strong presence and her commitment to a completely ridiculous role, while the first one managed to move me in its own strange way, this one I more or less shrugged off. I understand there's another sequel that has even less to do with the original (Lee is neither in the cast nor the directing chair) and none of the Letterboxd reviews I've read are encouraging, so I will not treat it as a priority.

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 119: The New Crystal Gems

“We can be exactly like them, but better!”

It’s a time-honored tradition at this point to follow emotionally heavy arcs with Peridot being silly, and while Greg’s kidnapping might seem like small potatoes compared to the Peridemption or the conclusion to Act II, The New Crystal Gems is a welcome salve before we dive back into turmoil mode. Especially because this is our last fully goofy episode, without any forays into angst or the larger plot, until Letters to Lars. And even that one has Sad Dewey.

A staple of great sitcoms is developing a strong core roster and pairing characters together in interesting ways episode to episode. It’s something that Steven Universe (which to be fair is not a sitcom) unfortunately doesn’t get a chance to do very often, because we see the world through Steven’s eyes. By design he’s nearly always a part of the show that bears his name, and while I love the kid, it can be refreshing to see what it’s like for people in his world to hang out without him. I’d kill for an episode about Greg giving Buck guitar lessons, or a day in the life of Onion and Sour Cream’s family, or Garnet interacting with literally any human that isn’t a Universe for an extended period of time. But I’ll certainly settle for seeing Connie, Peridot, and Lapis do their own thing. (Oh and also Pumpkin.)

When Connie and the Barnmates are both tasked to protect Beach City by Steven and Garnet respectively in Adventures in Light Distortion, it seems irrelevant compared to the stakes at hand. But it cleverly fuels the story of three major but supporting characters getting a big promotion and not knowing what to do about it. This is high concept sitcom plot through and through (“Jerry and the gang wait to eat at a Chinese restaurant!” “A conman sells Springfield a monorail!” “April and Andy have a surprise wedding!” “Connie, Peridot, and Lapis take over as the substitute Crystal Gems!”), and I am here for it.

The New Crystal Gems is an answer of sorts to Gem Heist, an episode about the restrictive identities of Gems in their native society. Back on Earth, our heroes instead feel compelled to fill in the roles of the original Crystal Gems, and while the “be yourself” message couldn’t be more blatant, the execution is a delightful reminder that freedom from Homeworld rules allows for malleability and growth. This is a planet where not only a human but a sentient pumpkin dog can be honorary Gems.

While Connie and Peridot are a lot of fun as the Steven and the Garnet, and Pumpkin is obviously a dead ringer for Pearl, Jennifer Paz does the most impressive vocal mimicry as Lapis gets super into playing different members of the group. This is mostly wonderful for how fun it is to see her have fun, but I also love how it tracks with her former life trapped in a mirror, only able to communicate by copying who she saw and heard. Of course she’s good at imitation.

It’s also intriguing to get a glimpse at Lapis’s opinion of the Crystal Gems these days, because she hated them from the start and still has yet to warm up to any non-Steven member of the core group. When she asks which one Amethyst is, it’s everything I want in deadpan: impenetrable delivery from a deeply ambiguous character who’s so dry that even the act of explaining she’s kidding is funny (see also: EDI from Mass Effect). And it’s amplified by her genuinely not recognizing Connie, which itself is a hilarious interaction for both parties. Going full Teen Mode in the beginning of the episode makes her dive into silliness even better; she might be a snob when it comes to how many people she almost drowned, but she’s not too high and mighty to play make believe.

Connie does imitate Steven a bit, but as the most rational of the trio she still defaults to Connie and has to dip into Steven Mode when duty calls. Peridot’s Garnet is just throwing on sunglasses and giving a thumbs up, then acting like typical bossy Peridot, but it make sense that someone who already sees herself as a leader doesn’t think she needs to adjust to fit the role.

In a neat nod to the show’s production history, Jennifer Paz and Shelby Rabara play the Gems they originally auditioned for: we could be living in a world with Paz as Amethyst and Rabara as Garnet full-time. No word on whether Grace Rolek ever read for Steven, but if it wasn’t clear enough from the episode’s content, the crew seemed to have a lot of fun with The New Crystal Gems.

Subtlety isn’t what this episode is going for, but I still appreciate that the successful wash sequence only works because our heroes act like their best selves: Peridot and Lapis use their powers, and Connie towels off the car like the practical human she is. It’s only with a bigger crowd where Peridot and Lapis try too hard to enforce roles that don’t come naturally: Peridot would rather wrest control than lead, while Lapis’s idea of a “joke” is firehosing citizens. Connie’s speech fails because an imitation of Steven’s enthusiasm pales to the real thing, and her lack of an established relationship with these ornery Gems makes an appeal to love impossible. So yeah, shock of shocks, being themselves again is the answer. It’s visible from a mile away, but the appeal of The New Crystal Gems was never going to be its lesson.

The character work for Peridot, Lapis, and Connie is everything here, and I could spend an entire miniseries watching their continuing adventures as the Crystal Temps. Peridot and Lapis already have great chemistry, at each other’s throats when their egos get the better of them but otherwise getting along (either because they agree or because one is fine humoring the other). My favorite shared belief of theirs is that Pearl is the worst Crystal Gem; it’s such a specific and continuous joke that every iteration of it warms my mean-spirited heart, and Peridot’s similarities with Pearl are so obvious that it’s delightful when they’re verbalized.

Connie is the wildcard here, and while it bums me out that we never got to see her meeting Peridot for the first time, her intro scene with Lapis and her role as the adult in the room make her a critical addition. Steven may be more emotionally mature than Peridot, but Connie combines this maturity with the ability to operate on Peridot’s wavelength of logical pragmatism (and is way better at it than Peridot because she’s not, and I say this with love, a doofus). This leads to more of a clashing relationship than what we’re used to, especially because Connie is willing to call Peridot out in situations that Steven and Lapis would just let go. These three are friends, sort of, but most of the episode is Connie wrangling two ancient teens.

It’s amazing to watch Connie’s big speech after I Am My Monster, where she applies the same skills to both rebuke and rally Steven’s extended family in order to save him. Both here and there, she references Steven’s ability to bring people together without actually using his methods, because she’s not Steven and she doesn’t have to be. Steven is forgiving of the Gems’ flaws to a fault, but Connie has no patience for adults who can’t act like the guardians they should be, because she was raised by parents who (for all their flaws) were nothing if not responsible. Connie may have softened since her Bubble Buddies days, but her willingness to chastise friends when the situation calls for it remains one of her greatest strengths in a cast that’s often too kind to speak their minds. 

Connie’s narration separates The New Crystal Gems from most flashback episodes, but we otherwise follow the typical structure of beginning and ending in the present. To his credit, Steven apologizes to Connie for leaving her behind, and for now she’s understanding; her anger with him doing it again in I Am My Mom comes from him revealing that his apology was hollow, because he’s still willing to go on risky adventures without her. (Also, Pearl gets a nice moment beyond being the butt of an episode-long joke by nodding in approval at Connie doing the chores.)

This is one of the more satisfying endings to a flashback episodes, which usually peak at the end of the story being told rather than in the present. Greg’s wealth makes the destruction of his shop less serious than it would’ve been two seasons ago, but it’s still nice to see how chill and forgiving he is of the mistake. And Peridot and Lapis’s artistic side gets to shine as they make a new sign (new sitcom episode idea: Peridot, Lapis, and Buck open a morp exhibit in Beach City). Their victory pose is earned.

This is a shorter review than usual, thanks to the problem I tend to have with writing about Peridot antics: they’re great, but I have to avoid just transcribing my favorite jokes and helpfully telling y’all that they’re funny. Log Date 7 15 2 and Kindergarten Kid were made easier by respectively allowing me to write about Peridot’s redemption as a whole and Looney Tunes, while Beta restricts the best gags to its first half. The New Crystal Gems is an awesome episode, but it’s a bummer that I can’t write more about Connie’s relationship with Peridot and Lapis, because we don’t see them hang out in a meaningful way after this. I’m happy with what we got, but it’s almost cruel to give us a bite of cake without offering a full slice. More Crystal Temps, please!

Future Vision!

The end of Steven Universe Future doesn’t just see Connie call back to her role as the leader of the Crystal Temps, but Peridot replace her as the inheritor of Steven’s shirt.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Like Log Date 7 15 2 and Kindergarten Kid before it, The New Crystal Gems is a delight. Add Lapis and Connie to the mix and it gets even better. Not in my Top 20, but still a great one.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

When It Rains

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

(I don’t know how an episode this fun didn’t have any crew members drawing official promo images, but Luckyjackpot is on the case.)

[morningsound15]

au game for astury queen octaven specifically:)

fuck ok you know what i’m going to answer this because i literally HAVE THEIR STORY ARC ALREADY WRITTEN for that fucking story but i can’t motivate myself to write the rest of the story AROUND their arc and like proper scene transitions and shit like honestly at least for like the foreseeable future so you know what?

i’m just gonna post what i have written for them here. because fuck it.

this is gonna be a long fucking post sorry in advance.

1.)

For the past week, Octavia had been spending her lunches not in the hospital cafeteria, not in one of the many break rooms, but rather inside room 307, with her legs tucked up under her as she folded herself into the uncomfortable chair in the corner that she was coming to see more and more as belonging solely to her.

She wasn’t exactly sure why she started doing it. The first time it happened she just happened to be checking Raven’s vitals right as her lunch tray was being delivered, but after that… well, she wasn’t exactly sure how it started happening, but that first instance turned into another, and then another, and now it had fully become a part of her routine. Octavia would bring her bagged lunch up to the third floor — or she’d bring up a tray from the cafeteria — and the two of them would eat together, sharing companionable conversation. Octavia even started buying those individually-packaged pudding cups to trade for Raven’s Jell-O (because apparently Raven couldn’t stand Jell-O), and what started off as a one-time deal had become something quite unexpected.

On this particular day, Octavia had really pulled out all the stops and sprung for something special (and smuggled in from outside). Not that outside food wasn’t allowed in the hospital — it definitely was. But Octavia was pretty sure that Abby wouldn’t approve of her feeding a recovering patient fast food, no matter how delicious it might be.

Today, they were sharing a sampling of every kind of fry from the fast food restaurants that sprinkled the area. Octavia had managed to snag no fewer than six different varieties, and they were working through them slowly, providing carefully thought-out ranks for each new batch.

Raven picked up one of the thicker, drier options. She eyed it suspiciously, like it had personally offended her, like she already knew she was about to be disappointed. She popped it into her mouth anyway. She chewed slowly, contemplatively, taking on her role as Supreme Fry Judge with an air of deep solemnity. When she finally swallowed, it was with a grimace and a shake of the head.

“Nope,” she said seriously. “That’s the worst one. Sixth place. Take it out of rotation.”

Octavia laughed but did as she was told, sliding forward the next group. “As you wish, Your Honor.” She bowed her head slightly, and Raven returned the gesture with an elaborate flourish of the hand.

Octavia grabbed another container and started munching happily, a small smile on her face. She was happy, here; she was happy doing this. It was nice. Hanging out with Raven and sharing a bunch of fast food fries was a lot of fun. For most of her adult life, Octavia’s only real friend had been Clarke. Having another person to talk to — someone she didn’t live with or work with or spend every waking hour with — was honestly a treat; something unprecedented; something novel and exciting.

It was nice. But admittedly, Octavia knew that it also wasn’t exactly the most professional thing in the world she could be doing. But she was a surgical resident, and Raven wasn’t even technically still a patient of hers. Now that she was in recovery, the general residents and attendings were responsible for her care and well-being. And there were no rules about when or where Octavia was supposed to take her lunch breaks; she could visit a friend on her down-time. There was nothing wrong with that at all.

(So why did she still feel so weirdly guilty about all of this?)

They sat in comfortable silence as they ate their food. The room was warm and bright; the air dry. If Octavia inhaled strongly enough she could pick out the scent of flowers wafting over from the pile overflowing on Raven’s dresser (Sinclair made sure to drop by every other day with a new batch from him and his wife, just because). Octavia leaned back in her chair, her legs crossed at the ankle, and allowed herself to sink into the feeling of being in this room, of being around this woman. She allowed herself to sink into the feeling of comfort, and just breathe.

It was quiet for a few more minutes when Raven finally spoke. “The doc says I’m gonna have some pretty gnarly scars,” she said softly, her fingers toying with the edge of a napkin, her eyes downcast.

Octavia’s face slipped. She swallowed, her appetite suddenly disappearing. She wasn’t sure what Raven’s sentence was supposed to convey. She wasn’t sure if it was accusatory, or self-pitying (though Raven didn’t seem the type for either of those emotions). She wasn’t sure how to respond, so instead she said, “Have you looked, yet?”

Raven shrugged and picked up another fry. “Not really. Kinda been too scared, kinda been too grossed out.” She took a bite and smiled, seemingly pleased. “Plus, it’s hard to check yourself out in a mirror when you need a nurse to help you shower every day.”

Octavia bit her lip and spoke almost without thinking. “Do you want to see?” Raven’s head jerked up. “The one on your back’s the biggest. I could take a picture?”

Raven didn’t move for a few long moments, and Octavia felt a wave of panic overtake her. She did something wrong. She said something wrong. She was being completely inappropriate, offering to do something like that for this girl she barely knew, and she’d made Raven uncomfortable and she had to come up with an apology quick or else risk—

“Sure,” Raven said, and Octavia’s internal, panicked monologue fizzled out as quickly as it had erupted.

Her fingers felt a little thick and fumbling as she wiped them swiftly on her scrubs. But even with her rubbing, the tips of her fingers still felt oily; the palms of her hands still felt dry. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do about that.

“Okay,” she said, standing up slowly and trying not to look as uncomfortable as she felt. “Um, I guess I’ll just… help you out?” Raven nodded, and Octavia put her hands gently on the woman’s shoulders, turning her slightly away from the bed. She didn’t move her too quickly, ever-mindful of the sutures still in Raven’s skin, so it seemed to take eons before Raven was laying on her side, facing Octavia completely.

Octavia smiled at her, a little nervously. “Sorry, I’ve never done this before,” she apologized.

Raven smiled back. “I’ve never done this before either.”

Right. Obviously. “Want me to use your phone or mine?”

“Mine,” Raven answered easily. “I’ll text them to all the guys at the station. They’ll probably get a kick out of it.” Raven used her chin to gesture towards the bedside table where her phone lay, undisturbed.

Octavia wiped her hands furtively one more time before she picked it up. She moved around Raven’s bed until she was behind her, grabbing one glove from the box next to the sink on her way. She slipped the blue latex onto her non-dominant hand, the hand not holding the phone, as she rounded the bed completely. She then used her now-invisible position to take one quick breath in, before she let her hand reach out and brush against Raven’s side.

The woman twitched under her touch, and Octavia grimaced. “Sorry about that,” she apologized into the silent room. Only the steady whirring of the air conditioning unit and a few of the machines around the room kept it from being completely absent of noise. But still, it was remarkably quiet between them. “Also my hands are probably cold,” she said as her fingers carefully undid the ties on Raven’s hospital gown, “so… sorry for that, too.”

Raven hissed as soon as Octavia’s knuckles brushed the skin near her shoulder. “Geez, they’re like ice. What do you do all day?”

“Poor circulation.”

“Jesus,” Raven muttered, “I would die.”

Raven’s skin was warm. So warm it was almost hot. Octavia pushed her gown aside, pushing the split open so that most of Raven’s back was now exposed to the air and to her line of sight.

She paused, for only the tiniest of moments, at the image that greeted her.

It was only for a moment, but Raven still noticed.

“I’m sorry if it’s disgusting,” she said quietly, her voice almost a whisper.

Octavia shook her head, though she knew Raven couldn’t see her. “Raven, I’m a doctor. I’ve seen worse. Plus, I helped make this one, so.”

“Right.” A chuckle. “Always forget that.”

Octavia placed her gloved hand on Raven’s scapula, just to the right of the jagged line marring her otherwise flawless skin. It was still wrapped in gauze and held shut with staples. If Octavia moved her thumb just an inch, she’d brush up against the wound. “You always forget that I’m a doctor?” she mumbled, her voice low.

“That you’ve seen worse than me.” Raven’s voice was just as soft as hers. “That there’s been worse than me.” Octavia’s hands slowed to a complete stop.

When Raven spoke next, it was with a surprising degree of sincerity — perhaps because, with Octavia perched behind her, she couldn’t see her eyes. “I can’t walk,” Raven said, and Octavia forced her hands to restart their task. “I need help to do everything. It hurts to just lay down. And someone has to come in here every two hours and turn me over so that this stupid thing can ‘breathe’, or whatever.”

“The air is good for your back.” Octavia fumbled only briefly with the cellphone in her hand, but she managed to take a not-too-blurry picture without embarrassing herself.

She carefully closed Raven’s hospital gown, her fingers applying barely any pressure as she tied it shut. With one more quick brush to Raven’s shoulder, Octavia quickly cleared her throat and pulled away. She rounded the bed and peeled off her latex glove, using the opportunity while her back was turned to take one more quick, steadying breath. God, but that was a completely inappropriate reaction. She was not acting professionally in the slightest.

“Can’t wait until I can wear real clothes,” Raven said from behind her. “These hospital gowns do absolutely nothing for my figure.”

Octavia smiled and held out Raven’s phone to her with hands that didn’t shake at all. “When your back’s better I’m sure they won’t have any problem with you wearing your own clothes. Just make sure they’re loose and won’t interfere with your mobility.”

Raven snorted. “What mobility?”

“When your physical therapy starts.” Raven scrunched her face, looking skeptical. Octavia shook her head. “I know how you feel about physical therapy, Raven, but they’ve got a really great program here. And it really will help a ton. Now, look at the picture I worked so hard to take, please.”

Raven chuckled. “You drive a hard bargain Blake, but okay.” She unlocked her phone and immediately pulled a face. “Oh, gross.”

“Obviously it won’t look like that forever. Once the stitches come out—”

“No, I mean it’s cool-gross. I like it. I’ll look like the freaking Terminator. Or Doc Oc from the Spiderman comics. Nice.”

“You have a remarkable attitude about all of this. Most people don’t react that way when they see their scars for the first time.”

“Well, I’m not most people, am I?”

“No. You definitely aren’t.”

“Besides, chicks dig scars.” Raven winked, a drawn out and exaggerated motion that nonetheless had Octavia’s stomach doing somersaults. She fought to keep her face impassive. “Isn’t that right, Doctor Blake?”

“That’s what they say in the movies.”

“So, a girl can dream.” They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity then, the silence stretching between them, charged with… something. Something that felt big. Something that felt too important and too significant for 12:45 p.m. on a Thursday afternoon. Something that—

“French fry taste-test?” a voice said from the doorway and Octavia jumped, immediately pulling back. She had started to lean forwards, to lean towards Raven, without even really noticing. She tried not to look guilty as her eyes flicked to catch Clarke’s kind and smiling gaze.

“Clarke. Hey,” she said, standing quickly from her seat. “We were just—”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell the boss,” Clarke said with a wink, taking a few steps into the room and snagging some of the food from Octavia’s tray. “Just wanted to see when you were off. I’m headed back to our place, and thought maybe you’d be my favorite person in the entire world and drive us home?”

Octavia immediately started cleaning up the mess of fries, containers, and napkins that littered Raven’s space. “Yeah, of course. My shift ended like an hour ago, so no need to wait around.”

“Oh,” Raven said, clearly surprised. “You didn’t have to stay, Doctor Blake. I didn’t know you were on your own time.”

Octavia shook her head. “No, no it’s not a problem. Had to wait for Clarke, anyway.” She smiled against the anxiety swirling in her chest. “Plus, you’re great lunch company.”

Clarke wrapped her arms around Octavia’s waist from behind and gave her a firm squeeze. “And to think, that used to be my job.”

Octavia flushed and turned away, brushing Clarke’s arms away from her. “Knock it off, Clarke,” she muttered, dumping the trash in her arms into the trash bin by the door.

Raven was shooting her a strange, semi-indecipherable look from the bed. “Sorry,” she said slowly. “Who are you, again?”

“Oh!” Clarke took a few steps forward and stuck out her hand. “I’m Doctor Griffin.”

Raven took her hand tentatively. “I don’t think so. I know Doctor Griffin.”

“Common mistake.” Clarke smiled, one side of her mouth pulling up higher than the other. “She’s my mom.”

“Oh.” Raven looked at least moderately-surprised. “And you and Doctor Blake… live together.” She didn’t say it like a question, but Clarke answered her anyway.

“Yup! Since college.”

“Right.” She still had that inscrutable expression on her face, and it was making Octavia increasingly more uncomfortable. “Sorry.” She shook her head again. “Sorry, I didn’t… sorry.”

For some unknown reason, Octavia felt compelled to twist her hands together. Clarke frowned. “What are you sorry for?”

“Nothing.” She cleared her throat and bent slightly forward, peering at Octavia from around Clarke’s body. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Doctor Blake?”

Octavia nodded, her throat dry. “Yup,” she croaked. “Ready to go, Clarke?”

Out in the hallway, Clarke slid her arm through Octavia’s elbow. She squeezed tightly, knocking their shoulders together. “She’s cute.”

“She’s a patient, Clarke.”

“She can still be cute.”

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Will you lay off, maybe? You already make me drive you andfrom work, we do everything together… I can’t have one friend that isn’t you?”

Clarke pulled back. “Woah, okay. Testy. What’s going on with you today?”

“There’s nothing going on with me,” Octavia shot back shortly. “I’m fine.”

2.)

It wasn’t long after that that Octavia started dating Atom. She met him at the gym (story of all fascinating stories), and truth be told if you really pressed her for details she had to admit that she wasn’t sure what it was, exactly, that ultimately compelled her say yes when he asked her out. Maybe it was something about the way her stomach turned any time she thought about her earlier interaction with Clarke. Maybe it was something about the way Raven had become more emotionally withdrawn from her in the past few weeks, sharing fewer personal anecdotes and cracking fewer jokes. Or maybe it was the way Raven smiled at her now, always soft and mild and politely-interested but lacking the warmth and sincerity Octavia had come to expect from her. Maybe it was some combination of the three.

Either way. He asked, and she said yes.

.

.

.

.

She waited longer than she probably should have to tell Clarke. But could you blame her, really? Atom was exactly the kind of guy that Clarke always freaked out about, worried over, frowned disapprovingly at. Octavia just didn’t need that kind of stress weighing over her right now.

At least, that was the excuse she used to justify keeping the secret for a month and a half.

When she finally did tell Clarke, it went over about as well as expected. Which is to say, not well at all.

She listened to Clarke rant at her for a full seven minutes before she’d finally had enough.

“Would you stop, please?” she cut in quickly when Clarke paused to take a breath. “I get it, okay? He’s the sketchiest dude you’ve ever seen, he’s not ‘boyfriend material’, I shouldn’t be wasting my time with him… I get it, alright? So can you cool it with the lecture?”

Clarke frowned at her, her earlier anger and annoyance immediately melting away into genuine concern. “Are you alright?”

“I’m just…” Octavia sighed, pushing a hand roughly through her hair— “I’m sick and tired of being alone, Clarke. I haven’t had a serious relationship since… since college, and… Jesus Christ, I’m just tired of being alone.”

“But this is…” Clarke looked almost pained, now. Whether it was at Octavia’s clear emotional distress or because of her own personal desire to voice her full opinions about Octavia’s occasional-sexual-partner, uninterrupted, it was impossible to say. “Octavia, this isn’t what you want; you know that, right? This is… I mean this Atom guy isn’t any—”

“Can you stay out of my business for once, maybe?” She bit angrily, jaw clenched and eyes burning.

Clarke huffed. “I’m not trying to be in your business, I just—”

“I don’t exactly have a lot of choice in who I date right now considering the person I actually want to date is—” Octavia stopped speaking abruptly, flushing darkly, and looked down at the too-large scrubs engulfing her small frame.

“What was that?” Clarke prodded in a low voice.

Octavia shook her head and turned away, busying herself as she gathered her clothes. Clarke took a step forward, wanting to place a comforting hand on her roommate’s upper arm but not knowing if she should.

“Who do you want to date, O?” Clarke asked quietly.

Octavia rubbed hand over her face and her eyes brimmed with unshed tears. At least Clarke couldn’t see that part; she was relieved for that. She hated crying. She hated when people saw her cry. “You’re not going to approve.”

“Try me.” When Octavia still did not say anything, Clarke ventured, “This doesn’t have anything to do with that cute patient in 307 who you spend most of your lunch breaks talking to, does it?”

Octavia flushed and shifted on her feet but did not deny it.

“Why would you think I wouldn’t approve?”

“Because she’s a patient, Clarke; a patient I operated on and a patient I—”

“You weren’t even chief surgeon, you just assisted. My mom was the one who… You have to know that what happened with her leg wasn’t your—”

“I know it wasn’t my fault but she’s still… God, how unprofessional would it be to… to sleep with her or date her or…?”

“She isn’t going to be a patient forever. Probably not even until the end of this week. After she’s discharged, you should ask her out. I’m sure she wants to go out with you.”

“You think?”

“I have a pretty good idea.”

3.)

“So, what do you say to getting some food someplace far away from here that isn’t served in Jell-o form?”

Raven laughed, pulling her coat over her shoulders. She adjusted the brace on her leg and winced as it pinched against some of the skin of her upper thigh. “As long as you’re buying. I could really use some good food and since I live alone and can’t cook for shit…” She trailed off, a smirk present in her eyes and on her lips.

Octavia beamed. “Yeah, yeah sounds good. What do you say about Friday?”

“Sounds great, Doctor Blake.”

“You can call me Octavia now, you know; I think we’ve reached that point.”

Raven beamed. “Octavia it is.” She grabbed her crutches and adjusted them on her forearms, testing her balance. “I’m looking forward to it. I’ve lived here two years and still I don’t think I have more than three friends, and I work with all of them.” She smiled and reached out to grip Octavia’s upper arm. “I’m really glad we’re going to keep seeing each other. I’m kind of in desperate need for more friends.”

Octavia kept the smile planted on her face even as something in her stomach sank with what felt strangely like disappointment. “Of course,” she said, “I’m happy to help.”

4.)

Octavia tried to be just-friends with Raven. She tried. She tried to respect Raven’s boundaries for the sake their existing relationship.

She really did try.

There was just only so much she could take, in the end. Only so many late night Netflix binge-sessions she could sit through, only so many not-dinner dates she could go on, only so many times she could make sexual-tension-filled eye contact with Raven across a room before she finally broke.

She lasted all of about three weeks.

“Do you want to go out with me?”

Raven looked up from the cup she had been playing with. Her brow furrowed. “What? We… we went out tonight.”

“No, I mean, like…” Octavia took a step forwards, reaching out and brushing her fingers against the soft skin of Raven’s wrist, “like go out with me. Like on a date.”

Raven pulled back, looking (confusingly) very shocked and more than a little concerned. “Octavia I… I mean I don’t—”

They heard keys in the lock and seconds later the door swung open. Clarke stumbled inside, dressed in dirty scrubs and looking utterly exhausted. “Hey babe,” she said, kissing Octavia on the cheek as she passed them on her way to the kitchen, “do we have any beer? Anya was on my ass today and I really need a pick-me-up.”

“Yeah, check the fridge!” Octavia called out, her eyes never leaving Raven’s face. “So, what do you say about that date?”

Raven flushed and stared back at Octavia, eyes wide and mouth open. “I don’t date women who are already in a relationship,” she hissed, her eyes glancing furtively towards the kitchen. Octavia just looked confused. She couldn’t understand where this reaction was coming from, because her thing with Atom ended weeks ago and there definitely hadn’t been anyone else who might have— “I’m not a slut, Octavia, Jesus.” She turned and made to leave, limping steadily and cursing the ache in her leg. She grabbed her crutches from their perch by the door before it finally all clicked in Octavia’s mind. She wanted to slap herself.

“No… hey Raven wait!” Octavia darted past her and blocked her path to the front door.

“You really aren’t who I thought you were. I mean… Jesus, Octavia, your girlfriend is right—”

“Wait wait wait.” Octavia held up a hand, effectively stopping Raven’s tirade. “Wait. No, you’re confused, I’m not… Clarke is not my girlfriend.”

Raven blinked. “What?”

“She isn’t.” Octavia shook her head furiously. “We are not, nor have we ever been, seeing each other.”

“But… but I thought…” she blinked rapidly a few times. “You live together.”

“She’s my roommate.”

“She calls you ‘babe’. She kissed you on the cheek when she walked in! She was… she was always coming to check on you during your rounds, I… I thought…”

Octavia laughed and took a step forward, hand moving to cup the back of Raven’s neck. “Well, she’s currently banging our boss, so if we were dating then that would make all of this really awkward.” Raven spluttered. Octavia laughed again. “I’m not dating Clarke. I would like to be dating you, though… if you’re feeling up for it, and if I totally haven’t misread all of the signs these last few months.”

Raven stared at her for a few more seconds before she lunged forward, claiming Octavia’s lips in a fierce kiss that knocked them both off-balance. Octavia stumbled, crashing back into the apartment door as Raven’s body fell on top of hers, pinning her in place, lips still moving at a breakneck pace. Octavia smiled into the kiss.

“Hey are you guys okay? I heard a — woah, okay, yeah, cool, you look busy. I’ll just…” and they were sure Clarke had backed out of the room and back into the kitchen, but neither one pulled away to check.

5.)

It wasn’t easy. There were days when Raven woke up and forgot her leg no longer worked, and she only remembered once she came crashing to the floor with a sharp yelp of pain and agony because she had tried to put too much pressure on her useless appendage and it had collapsed under the unexpected weight. There were days when she got so fed up with having to lag behind her friends as they walked in front of her that she found herself crying and punching at walls in order to feel something besides helpless. There were days when her joints were so stiff she didn’t think she’d ever feel good again. There were days when she missed being able to lift heavy boxes and walk up several flights of stairs without getting breathless or needing assistance. There were bad days, as there always would be.

But there were good days, too. There were days when she would feel almost as good as new, brace on her leg and hardly any hint of a limp in her walk. Days when she could forgo her non-weight bearing crutches and just walk. There were entire days she spent hanging out on the couch with her sister, and when she had those days she forget all about the injury that ended her old career. But she had a new one, now, that she loved very much, and most of the time it was easy forget that she had ever truly had something she loved taken away from her.

There were days when she would stay at the lab until the wee hours of the morning, bent over some project or invention, when her boss would pat her on the shoulder on his way out and say, “Don’t forget to lock up, Reyes,” and she’d realize how acutely fulfilling her life was now. There were days when she would be at Octavia and Clarke’s apartment, when her knee would get stiff or her muscles would spasm, and she would groan in pain, and Octavia, without needing to be asked, would lift her bum leg onto her lap and start rubbing at the joints and the muscles and kneed away the stiffness without breaking her concentration on the television or on her readings for her rounds the next day. There were days when Raven would wake up, arms wrapped tightly around the girl she was slowly falling in love with. There were days when Octavia would kiss her breathless against the wall outside of their favorite bar, murmuring in her ear about how beautiful she looked, how badly she wanted her, and Raven had never believed any words more sincerely than she believed those.

There were bad days, sure, as there always would be. But there were good days, too. And the good days with Octavia were slowly drowning out the bad. She was with her friends, she was wanted, she was loved, she was doing a job she adored, and she was having amazing sex almost every night of the week. There were good days.

And Raven loved them.

And on some days, she really couldn’t even find it in herself to be upset that she no longer had the full use of her left leg. She was that happy. And besides, ruining her leg brought her to Octavia.

She couldn’t hate anything about that.

Send me an AU and I’ll give you 5 headcanons for it

[shrinenose50-blog]

The basics! Paint & windows, + my BIGGEST DIY ever: Week 2 of the One Room Challenge

10.10.2018

I've definitely made progress on our master bedroom makeover since the "before" pics--starting with paint and window treatments which honestly has been a huge, incredible change. I'm also finally ready to SHOP for stuff which is a little unnerving (I have a hard time committing!) but really helpful to see it all come together.

(You can see all my One Room Challenge posts here.)

This post contains affiliate links.

Our progress so far includes the basics of making over a room:

Paint (unfortunately in this case, painting over wallpaper--more about that later) 

Replacing the 40-year-old window coverings with these linen Roman shades

And, progress on the biggest project of the room (and literally my BIGGEST DIY ever): making a slipcovered bed!! We're loosely following this thorough tutorial for a DIY upholstered bed, but my plan is to make it look like this Serena & Lily one on my inspiration board.

And finally, the hardest piece so far to choose and order for me is lighting. Such a bummer cause I looooove shopping for lighting, but when it comes down to it for my own room, I'm so stumped!!

1. The basics: Painting over wallpaper

The walls in this room are the same white as everywhere else in this house, Alabaster by Sherwin Williams. It's a little warmer than the white we used in our last house (White, OC 151, by Benjamin Moore) which feels good next to the warm trim--but it's still not as warm as, say, Simply White by Ben Moore.

I really will have to share more with you guys later about painting over wallpaper, but for now let me just say that we were told to do it that way (rather than take down the wallpaper) by multiple professionals and we followed a series of steps to make it work.

Here it is painted but still quite a "before" state. 

2. The basics: new Roman shades

We left that baby quilt up a long time, and the tan vinyl roller shades that were under the curtains on the other two windows. It was not my style. :P

I've shared on Instagram about these shades... I really debated going custom for all our windows but once you add up the features like cordless and top-down, bottom-up (pretty important for this side of the house with our neighbors so close), custom got prohibitively expensive. I wasn't sure how I would like the quality of these top-down, bottom-up, cordless linen Roman shades I found online... but aside from the extra length, I think they are about as good as I could expect on my budget!

Still need to take down that old hardware...

Love that they are cordless and versatile with how we open them.

3. DIY slipcovered bed

I'll talk more about this later on in the ORC, but let me just say for now... like a crazy person, I have decided to build a bed instead of buy one because I couldn't find one I liked in my price range. And because my dad is retired and very generous with his time and skills.

Progress... we're following the tutorial for the base bed part, and will tweak things with upholstering and associated things like feet.

I made some design decisions like how high the base should be, and thought about how much space we need between the bed and nightstands which will dictate the headboard width.

It's coming together! I picked up the batting after we got it assembled and I need to staple it on before we make much more progress.

We got the headboard, batting, and muslin cut out--almost ready to start stapling and assembling!

4. Light fixture indecision

Ironic and such a bummer cause I always say I LOVE shopping for lighting!!, but now it turns out, when it comes to my own room... it's hard! I think I like one of these options but as I kept adding them to this collage I think I just got more confused.

I want the light fixture to be special. A little unique, a little bit of a statement, and something that adds to the vibe of the room. I think the problem is I am mixing styles (a little tiny bit of midcentury modern, some relaxed contemporary, the vintage look rug...) and it's an old house, so none of the fixtures scream "compatible." I'd love to hear what you think!! (You can click on each of these below for more info on them. I did my best on scale.)

I also want it to go with our home--I am doing less boho than I used to go for, more of the "modern traditional" look (hence fixture 6), not much MCM, a little more contemporary which is really just a mish mash of everything else, right?... it's an older home, but I don't want to do something that's actually like what used to be here because 1930's Tudor interiors are not my thing. ;) But I don't want to go crazy with a sore thumb light fixture.

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I've also done some shopping like for bedding and lamps, and am making progress with the sourcing--good because shipping delays make me nervous. (I did order the rug--you guys have been super into that on my Instagram! It's an amazing deal right here till they sell out.)

I also pulled the trigger on the big art above the bed. This print from Unsplash in a "muted prosecco gold" frame. With a big mat. I think it'll add just the right amount of color on the walls.

Stay tuned on my Instagram stories for more updates!

Follow along to see what the Featured Designers and other Guest Participants are doing for the ORC too!

Source: http://www.create-enjoy.com/2018/10/paint-windows-DIY-slipcovered-bed-lighting-week-2-orc.html

[vjdarkworld]

Quality of Life Tips and Tricks for Nier Automata

There's a lot of basic tips and tricks that can help new players to the game for their first playthrough be more enjoyable. Only very minor mild spoilers of game mechanics.

Nier Automata has a lot of wacky mechanics that does add some simple enough depth to the game and a level of mastery of these tricks can help you juggle enemies to death. The problem is there so much random little details that the game doesn't go over cus I believe it's meant for the player to discover these tricks for themselves. While i do commend them for that, not knowing some of the basics of the gameplay can make fighting enemies way beyond your level really frustrating. Thus I have compiled some Quality of Life tips that will make starting out the game more enjoyable. So, mild spoiler warning for any basic mechanics you want to discover yourself.

Story

You aren't replaying the game exactly for each ending

​In the first Nier you had to replay through the game several times. Not in Automata. There's only one slight replay, but it's different enough that it's not annoying.

True ending

​You should be working to get to the True Ending. This is ending E. Ending A may seem underwhelming if you expect it to be the end of the game, but it's not the real ending. Please, work to getting to the True Ending, it has the most special moment out of the entire game there.

Weapons

​Have reverse order of weapons be second loadout​

Each weapon has heavy and light attack combos. If you want to see all the combos a single weapon can do, have your second loadout be a reverse of your main loadout. That way you can keep switching between them to experiment with each weapon combos.

Upgrade weapons to MAX Level​

Each weapon gains special abilities once they are maxed out. This is where weapons have their full potential. Like increased attack damage or attack speedc which leads into...

I Recommend MAXing out Virtuous weapons First

​All weapons that have "Virtuous" in their name (like 2B's Sword) share the same 2 abilities once full upgraded. They all get their ATTACK Speed increased, meaning your attack animation is quicker and ofc being able to hit your enemies faster. ​And attack dmg up if you have full health. Which should be achievable with the chips I will recommend.... But yes, literal DPS boost when you fully upgrade those weapons, highly recommend those for starters.

Chips

Auto pick up items​

You may think to yourself, "Wow, picking up every single item is annoying!/Picking up all these items for grinding will take forever!/An NPC is blocking an item pick up! Fear not! Just as how you can pick up money automatically, there is a chip that you can find that will automatically pick up items! I won't say where, that's for you to find out ; ).

Counter

Counter/parry/whatever you may call it is a staple of Platinum games Hack n Slash titles. This works just as it does in Bayonetta. For newbies: Push left stick in direction of an oncoming enemy attack to Counter it. The timing is extremely lenient too, much easier to pull off than in Bayonetta. The chip description makes it seem like the importance is only with the dmg knockback but this clearly isn't the case. What's good about is that you can Counter and Counter Attack just like you can when you dodge enemy attacks. Thus I highly recommend finding the smallest chip size for Counter and equipping that so you don't need to just dodge everything.

Overclock AKA the witchtime one

Bayonetta's Witchtime also makes an appearance as a chip. For those not familiar: when you dodge time slows down. This means you have time to counter attack and also get some combos in. Extremely useful!

Taunt dmg increase

​Taunting is the major key to fighting enemies way beyond your level. When an enemy is taunted, they will do more dmg to you BUT also you do more damage to them. And then you can get chips to increase that amount even more! This is how to make something 10LVL above you not a bullet sponge! That is, if you have upgraded weapons ofc.

Healing Chips

Tired of running out healing items or just annoying having to use one after every little hit? Well there's a couple options to choose from. 1. There's one healing chip that auto heals back all your HP if you don't take damage after x seconds. Meaning when you get hurt you can spam dodge to get away and wait a second to heal up. So this is more for Defense style of play. 2. The other major healing chip allows you to heal depending on the damage you do to enemies. Thus in the middle of combat you can still be healing up automatically. This is good for aggressive style of combat obviously.

Pod Programs

Don't be afraid to experiment with them

There's a lot of random ass ones you'll pick up. Don't be afraid to try them out. Some of em are REALLY helpful so don't forget to try them out.

Hold down button to charge

I forget if this is said in the tutorial or not, but yes, holding down the pod program button charges it. CHARGE FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE AND SUCH.

​I recommend Slow

So it should be obvious that the first one you get, Laser, is pretty useful for damage output. So if you want another program to try out I recommend Slow. Slow effectively stops/slows down extremely in a bubble. This means you can trap enemies in it and get some crazy combos onto them. Especially helpful if your fighting multiple enemies to stop them in their tracks and take em out quick.

​General Combat Tips

​Spam dodge and counter

The timing for dodge and counter is so lenient that if you are a complete newbie you can just spam these for a good counter attack. So don't be afraid to just spam it until you learn how to combo properly.

Sprint attack does more dmg than standing attacks(glitch?)

I'll remove this if it's ever confirmed to be fixed but .... when you sprint and then do a running Sprint attack you do more damage than a standing attack. Speedrunners use this to exploit bosses at low levels. So keep this trick in mind when going against higher level baddies!

Use flashlight to Taunt!!!

2B can taunt by spamming the flashlight into an enemies face!!! Very strange I know, but just go with it hah. 

One Last Tip

Don't randomly sell resource material items!!!​

You will want to look up on a wiki if the material will be used for upgrading or not. My rule of thumb is if you don't want to do that is: Sell fish and machine cores thats it!

Conclusion

And thats all the tips I got. Theres plenty more tricks, and especially many more advanced tips and tricks. But the info I have given you will make playing through the game much more enjoyable IMO, and if you get interested you can always look up advanced guides. In fact I leave you off with a video by donguri990. They are a crazy awesome combo master of many different games like DMC4 and such. This video was created right when the game was released so the gameplay is of the start of game + first boss announced + trailer footage, so only opening part of game mild spoilers. I really do recommend watching this to get an idea of what crazy stuff is possible with the combo system. 

Don't stop gamin' yall ; ). 

[dripthestory-blog]

I’ve been at my desk for 23 of the last 24 hours. That’s nothing to boast about; I’m clearly overdoing it. The fact that I know I’m overdoing it does absolutely nothing to change the fact that my mind won’t let me sleep, won’t let me quit. Tonight I learned what it means to bleed for my art. I literally worked my fingers bloody. I just couldn’t stop. I don’t know why; I’m so compelled to draw, it’s like this feeling inside my chest, this clawing thing, and when I stop I can’t think of anything else.

This is what bleeding for art feels like.

My wife came home from a friend’s dinner party around midnight. She’d had a few drinks throughout the evening, her mood was good. She was happy to see me.

“Come to bed,” she said. “I’ll feed you.”

Could she have known I hadn’t eaten all day? Did J tell her? Do wives gain some sort of sensibility about these things over time?

I don’t think I raised any flags today at work, but just in case—a reminder:

Dear Self,

Eat lunch today. Try to seem happy for J. If he starts raising concerns to the wife, all shall be lost. She’ll endeavor to make us sleep, and we can’t work if we’re sleeping. We dream best when we’re awake.

Love,

R.

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I’ve become very skilled at laying awake until I know she’s sleeping soundly next to me. When I hear her breathing change, I get up slowly—careful not to wake the dogs—and slip out of our bedroom. Tiptoe up the stairs, until my office door clicks shut behind me, and I’m free to work again.

That sounds a lot worse than it is. I love my wife very much. She is the entire reason for everything I do; my inspiration, my muse. I want to spend time with her. But these days, something else drives me. It’s become something of an obsession.

15 days

I started drawing on May 28th. Maybe that sounds unbelievable. I have photographic evidence if you’d like to see it. I’ll sign an affidavit.

The last time I really drew anything was in the 9th grade. I shared the 1st period of the day with a girl named R, a senior and fellow musician. I’d known her for some time and was quite fond of her. It was just the two of us in the class; an independent study. We helped our choir teacher grade papers or sort old sheet music. Meanwhile, I developed a steady crush on R.

We had this comic we would draw every day. We called it The Adventures of R & R. It was terrible. We laughed and doodled away the mornings the entire first semester of high school. In hindsight, those were some of my fondest memories of high school.

Later that year, R graduated and left for college. I found her at the ceremony and gave her the comic, which I’d bound with glue and staples and covered with a plain white folder, aptly labeled “The Adventures of R & R” in big letters across the cover.

Years later, R found me in a bookstore on campus. She was teaching music, and she asked if I’d like to meet for coffee. I was delighted. I agreed to meet her later that evening. We met on campus and walked to the coffee shop together. It wasn’t until we sat down that she told me about the surprise.

“I have something for you,” she said. “Close your eyes.”

Her smile made me nervous. Did she know about my crush? Was she going to kiss me? Would she tell me she’d had a crush on me all along, that she’d been waiting these last four years so I could join her and we could live happily ever after?

It’s only fair to point out here that I had a serious girlfriend at the time of our meeting, a high school sweetheart, and I was in direct violation of the established boundaries of that arrangement; however, being eighteen and horny and alight with the possibility of fulfilling a years-long fantasy, I forewent the bonds of my relationship and decided that whatever happened, happened. In retrospect, part of me feels like a scumbag, and part of me, the romantic part of me, gives a cheesy thumbs up at the camera before tossing back a tall glass of sangria.

“Close your eyes! Okay, keep them closed. No peeking.”

“What is it?”

“Hush. Open your hands. Okay, you ready?”

“Ah, shit.”

“Open your eyes.”

It was better than a kiss.

“The Adventures of R & R.” My first (and last) daily comic, and my only attempt to ever draw regularly, albeit only for fun.

Fast-forward. Scrub almost fifteen years ahead. Stop. Roll footage.

That horny teenager in the coffee shop with a makeshift comic book in his sweaty hands seems to have lived and died a hundred lifetimes ago. Yet here we are, doodling away the mornings…

Only, this time things are different. The girl has changed. This new girl is so much more. A high school crush could never hold a candle.

These days I write poetry and stories and occasionally pen an essay for an online publication or two. I run my own business and have no time for doodling beyond the necessitated dry erase sketch, something quick; at the moment, that’s all I really have a need for. The spontaneous sketch is perfect for dredging up some creative sparks or even perhaps rousing my sleepy partner out of a fog.

Certainly nothing of the serious variety, these doodles.

And then, May 28th happens.

There’s nothing in particular worth mentioning about that day, except that like most days, I was up late writing, working on the DRIP narrative. For some reason, I felt a stronger-than-usual urge to draw, so I pulled out a sheet of printer paper and a fountain pen.

  I created my first stippling illustrations that day. I didn’t even know the word for “Stippling.” My business partner saw the piece when he came into the office later that morning. He’s an art school graduate and was happy to show off some cool resources where I could see more examples of this style of art.

In the last fifteen days, I have created more than two dozen original illustrations. Some of them are more intricate than others; a few of them are fairly elaborate, like yesterday’s piece:

“Sabbat de Luna”

With zero arrogance whatsoever, I want to say that I’m very proud of the work—and the progress—I’ve made in the last fifteen days. Truth be told, I’ve dreamed of being able to draw my whole life. Growing up with comics and graphic novels was torture. I wanted so badly to be the guy drawing badass Batman comics in the margins of his notebooks during class; instead, my skills were largely limited to stick figures and basic shapes. I couldn’t even draw a straight line. I still feel I have trouble with perspective.

Yesterday, I read “Perspective Made Easy” by Ernest R. Norling. It’s a marvelous guide to the line of sight, the horizon, and perspective by way of breaking complex shapes and structures down into more basic forms. If you’re interested in learning how to draw, pick it up on Amazon.

After reading the book in the early hours of the morning (it’s a quick read, and a page-turner. I went through the entire book, even with some of the exercises, in about two hours) I decided to play with perspective, shading, and horizon.

I’d had this scene in my head:

Night. A silver-lit field. Empty sky, save the moon, which shines full and bright above. Four hooded figures dance around a short flame. A drum beats softly in the darkness. The figures are humming as they dance. From the shadows emerges a ram carrying on its back a host of temptations and decadence. The figures worship the Ram. They succumb to its offering, and eventually, themselves become an offering.

I didn’t want to do the scene with a basic drawing of a field and hooded or robed figures. That’s too on-the-nose (as J would say) and it’s been done countless times.

I decided to start a stipple. Rather than start from the corner or the edge of the page, I broke another personal comfort zone guideline and began dotting near the center of the page, just off to the right. I turned the sketchbook every direction as I traced until I had about an inch covered in dots. Then I dropped to a much smaller pen and started filling in the spaces.

I’ve used this same technique to create all the new illustrations I’ve made since May 28th.

I have no idea how I’m doing it.

If you know, or if you can explain it; if you’d like to wager a guess; if you’d like to call me a liar, please. Step right up. Drop me a line in the comments.

I’ve had dozens of friends reach out over Snapchat and Instagram and Text message in the last two weeks.

“How are you doing this?”

“Where is this coming from?”

“I didn’t know you could draw!”

Well, funny you should mention it…

I can’t.

Or, at least, I couldn’t.

Until May 28th.

A secret fear:

What happens if I wake up on June 28th and it's gone? Easy come, easy go? Will I fight? Will there be consequences?

Something inside me needs this. I can’t explain it, so I’ll stop trying.

It’s 5:03am here in the US (eastern time), and a thunderstorm has taken to beating on my window. I think I’ll open up and let it in.

I need to clear my head and mildew the carpet a bit.

Until next time, love.

  .R

Bleeding for art. Letter to Myself. A Secret Skill. 15 Days. The Ritual. Thunderstorms. I've been at my desk for 23 of the last 24 hours. That's nothing to boast about; I'm clearly overdoing it.