#i like to think cy and i would make pretty cool dads

[sohmiya]

I’m on my uni commute and the Miko x Ev brainrot is brainrotting so I have more hcs!

So, bc Miko loves social media I imagine her doing live unboxing videos of clothes & fashion etc. and Evren walks in on one of them all curious like “what are you doinggg?” and she smiles and says “a live unboxing” and then he nods and kisses her cheek. cue the fans in the comments going mad and enjoying their interactions.

^ I see Ev going into another room, getting the live up on his phone and seeing Miko talking about a dress that she’s just unboxed all like “I love all the detailing and the colour—“ and Evren would smirk and text her ‘it’ll look great on you… it’ll also look great on our bedroom floor :)’ just to see her reaction.

Alsoo Evren being on tour whilst Inter City are playing and after performing one of his songs, he takes his earpiece out and says to the crowd “can some of you be lovely and tell me what the Inter City score is at the moment?” and there’s a whole load of cheering which he laughs at until he gets the gist that they’re winning “they’re winning? yeah? yeah, okay, what’s the score?” and then he finds out they’re winning by 2 goals and he’d smile and say into the mic “well isn’t my girlfriend fucking talented”

Angsty: but I imagine Cypress sending Evren a ‘1 to 5’ text during a time when he knows Evren’s been rather anxious for a few days, and he’d reply back with a ‘1’ and Cy would call almost instantly and their conversation would be like “are you okay? are you home??” “yeah, I’m fine!” “you replied back with a 1” “I was in a different headspace then, I’m good now” “…I sent you that text two minutes ago”

^ and the whole point of these texts is so that they’re honest to each other so, I imagine Ev just feeling low and anxious and having to say what’s wrong, and at the end of his explanation he’s like “you can’t tell my dad…or Miko” and Cy knows that Ev usually asks him not to say anything to Javier but Miko would be different “Evren, she’s your girlfriend. She cares about you” “and we’re not saying anything because I care about her. She’s abroad, probably asleep, and has a huge game tomorrow. I can’t worry her. Please.”

After his call with Ev, Cy would definitely call or drop Miko a text.

Alsooo, I’d like to think that Cy and Miko get closer considering she’s dating his best friend. And at some point meets the mini de Veras and Cairo goes “so you’re the famous Miko…what do you think of Evren’s music?” and she’s all cool like “I don’t think it’s all that” and Cairo would smile and say “I like her”

Miko meeting Rosalie!! Evren would drive and pick her up from the airport and they’d be talking about it and Rosa would ask Ev how he’s feeling about it “nervous” “really?” “yeah, I mean, you’ve only met one of my partners before” and Rosalie would snort and say “yep, and I didn’t like them. but I like Miko” “she got excited when you called her gorgeous. you really like her?” “of course, she obviously makes you happy. you’re happy right?” and Evren would smile and nod and say “very.”

When Miko meets her, I’d assume that she’d compliment her eyes because it’s usually the first thing people notice about her. Miko would be all “you have really pretty eyes” and Rosalie would thank her and go “so I’ve been told, it’s where he gets them from” and then point over at Evren.

I also hc that the two of them have the best vacations together! Like those trips where you don’t look at your phone at all, you explore, eat nice food, enjoy each other’s company, stay in a nice private villa and they just have the most amazing few weeks together (<- I also imagine Ev proposing whilst they’re on one of these types of holidays).

MILA IM GONNA START CRYING FR

the way that whole live unboxing hc got me blushing giggling kicking my feet…… no cause evren giving miko a kiss on camera is so fucking cute and i imagine at least half of miko’s fans are from evren’s fanbase too so she would definitely be a tease like “not in front of your fans” then evren would do some more cute shit like winking before blowing a kiss to the camera 😩

I see Ev going into another room, getting the live up on his phone and seeing Miko talking about a dress that she’s just unboxed all like “I love all the detailing and the colour—“ and Evren would smirk and text her ‘it’ll look great on you… it’ll also look great on our bedroom floor :)’ just to see her reaction.

THE SMILEY FACE PLEAAENWHEJA NO CAUSE I CAN VERY VIVIDLY IMAGINE MIKO STUTTERING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVE LMAOOO like she’s rambling about the quality of the material and how it’s chic but also comfy then her phone pings and her reaction to the text is soooo obvious on the live because her eyes widen then she clears her throat and forces out a chuckle then go “anyway…” skfjskdks and like she’s lowkey turned on atp and she’ll try to push away the feeling but she can’t so she’ll cut the live short and be like “i hate to end this so soon but i promise we’ll do this again next time” then as soon as the live’s over she’ll rush over to evren all pent up like she’ll straddle his lap then go “are you insane?” before kissing him 🫣 and i just know evren would feel sooo proud of himself LMAO

also the concert headcanon….. evren pausing his show to ask about the game………. the category is boyfriend and evren is the winner

that is probably one of the SICKEST headcanons i have ever read. like no amount of romantic fantasies and scenarios at night could’ve ever prepared me for something like that

he takes his earpiece out and says to the crowd “can some of you be lovely and tell me what the Inter City score is at the moment?”

IM LITERALLY SOOOO UNWELL LIKE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW BADLY I NEED HIM

“they’re winning? yeah? yeah, okay, what’s the score?” and then he finds out they’re winning by 2 goals and he’d smile and say into the mic “well isn’t my girlfriend fucking talented”

GOD I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also the whole 1 to 5 thing and cy still telling miko about ev’s situation even when ev specifically told him not to. AS HE SHOULD

i always hc’d evren hating it when miko tries to keep shit from him to prevent him from worrying so if he does the same miko wouldn’t be happy either. like it depends on what ev is going through and miko would never force him to open up when he’s not ready to talk about it but if it’s clearly weighing him down miko would want him to tell her literally Anything like “evren what’s going on” “nothing i’m fine” “cypress told me you’re not” “he did?” and idk if ev would be pissed at cy but miko would most likely assume he would so she’d immediately be on cy’s side like “yeah and i’m glad he did because apparently you don’t plan on telling me” and miko would be frustrated and upset now so she’d continue like “you hate it when i don’t tell you anything but you’re doing Exactly that” “i just don’t want you getting worried” “i get worried because i care about you. i love you” and regardless if evren replies to that or not, miko would repeat “ily” anyway

“so you’re the famous Miko…what do you think of Evren’s music?” and she’s all cool like “I don’t think it’s all that” and Cairo would smile and say “I like her”

plsjdhajssksjsj and evren’s probably looking at miko like “you did NOT just agree with this brat” while cy’s trying not to crack a smile 😭😭😭

“yep, and I didn’t like them. but I like Miko”

SAY IT LOUDER MOTHER IN LAW!!!!!!!!!

when miko finds out rosa actually likes her, she’ll be so determined to learn french and beg evren “please teach me please baby pleaseeee 🥺” and i imagine evren finding it funny like “why do you wanna learn so badly all of a sudden?” “i wanna impress your mom” “you already know she likes you” “yeah but STILL”

also rosa pointing out that evren got his eyes from her shsjsksk pls that’s so cute i can imagine ev feeling kinda self-conscious like “mom…” with a slight eye roll but he’s smiling shsbsjsjsj cutie pie <3333

AND EVREN PROPOSING 😭😭😭😭 please idk why but i can imagine him doing that thing where he would purposely kneel in a way that would get miko thinking “oh my god is he….” just for him to tie his shoelace then he’d do it again and miko would once again think “this is it isn’t it” but it’s still not then evren does it again and miko’s just like “haha very funny evr-” then she instantly shuts up because evren holding out a ring this time and proposes for real 😭😭😭

[lazaruspiss]

Justice League x RW/BY: Super Heroes and Huntsmen (Part Two)

dear god it opens with a quirky exposition dump/summary of the first part. ueghhh. its a little shorter at least. man i hate the sunken cost fallacy.

"classic superhero stuff right?" i think its better to just do the trope than it is to acknowledge the trope and then do it anyways without any twist or subversion. like, just going "its pretty funny how [x] always happens" and then doing [x] isnt like. anything. tropes are fine and you dont need to make any self aware jokes to try and get permission to do a trope. 2 full minutes of ruby summary. sigh.

they cant go a single scene without teenager level jokes, so since they dont have any teens theyre having black canary deliver those sweet sweet lines i guess. oh killer croc looks like shit huh. they really cant do anything but anime teens huh.

rw/by can do decent fight scenes, that was always where most of the appeal came from.

is batman dead. cmon itd be funny. let rw/by movie kill off batman itd be funny. then smth smth rw/by girls fight over nothing. this time the ptsd flashbacks are animated!

[left for a bit, came back with cookie dough and a cup of margarita mix]

barry going thru it or smth. why does black canary just have all the worst traits of team rw/by. whys the old man weiss calls for advice got color changing eyes and 3 personalities. cross dimension video call. why does diana have the worst makeup ive seen. oh i forgot that every weapon in rw/by is a weapon + a gun.

oh bruce is meow meow huh. pathetic dying man. the costumes are cool but why couldnt blake keep her ears smh. "a massive grimm attack!" before they even see the state of the alert. "grows tentacles to silence her" huh?? why tentacles??? oh for choking ok. also is canary usually airheaded comic relief orrr.....

man blake just looks like a huntress knockoff. and theyre really laying the flash angst on thick. flash villains are fun dont be mean guys. oh god weve hit the bruce/weiss junk. hopefully it stays footnote-y like the stuff in the first part.

fight scenes are cool if you like fight scenes. im not that big on them so. kinda bored. oh weiss ur the only bitch i missed from ur series. i dont think we really saw this group finish their fight but theyre done and joining a different one. its just fight scene after fight scene. on and theres the other group whose fight we dont get to see the end of. exposition of all of rw/by's big bads that could be involved. oh we're back to still image flashbacks.

the action scenes are. normal. the story is boring. team rw/by just gets more annoying the more i watch this. pep talk time for reasons. oh they even call it an awkward pep talk! i guess barry really is the main character of part 2. and he has trauma :). man he sounds like me talking about my dad.

id think the JL would have uh. more advanced training sims. than cardboard cutouts. more pep talk stuff. onto bruce n weiss again. daddy issues bonding time. heart attack? cy casually having mari electrocute him. killg%re reaches out to JL for something. barry continues to have ptsd.

movie i would like to sleep thru. 16 minutes left. then i am freed.

man this sure would be impactful if i cared about ruby. now back to fight scene. barry panic attack. fight scene. they went back to team rw/by's normal outfits and abilities for reasons. every once in a while i remember how rw/by didnt really cast voice actors and just used the employees and personalities that they had at rooster teeth.

the final fight strategy is all over the place. no explanation for where the dust is coming from. arent they still supposed to be on earth? oh cool they do the thing where they turn the villains against each other by having one monologue about how they used the other. problem solved?

[bitletsanddrabbles]

But of course, we’re supposed to agree with The Good Character

“It is not quite fair to hire people for one job, and then blithely promise them for another without ever checking properly, although heaven knows it goes on. If you said to Cora, ‘You do realize you’ve made an enormous amount of work for your servants,’ she would be horrified, because, after all, other people are coming in from the village to help, aren’t they? ‘Yes, they are, m’lady, but it doesn’t alter the fact that there’s a lot more to do for all of them.’“

- Downton Abbey Complete Script Season 2, pg 140

“Anna’s moral position is higher than Mary’s here. Anna is prepared to be alone for the rest of her life if Mr. Bates never comes back. Mary, on the other hand, is not prepared to be on her own forever if Matthew never returns. But, to be honest, I’m on Mary’s side. I think Anna is throwing away her life. So, in one sense, in terms of romantic fiction, we’re supposed to approve of Anna’s abnegation and sacrifice, but in reality I approve of Mary’s getting her act together and being determined to make another life. So, in the Downton way, I hope the audience is divided.”

- Downton Abbey Complete Script Season 2, pg 132

“Thomas as House Manager is pretty hard for all of them to swallow, and here Robert and Carson discuss the facts about him that Cora does not know. In my morality, Robert has got himself into this fix by feeling that he needs to treat Cora as the little woman who can’t be trusted. I think he is being paid out for infantilising her, just as he is later paid out for infantilising Mary. When anyone infantilises those around them in order to remain in control of events, it is, in my experience, usually a bad idea.”

- Downton Abbey Complete Script Season 2, pg 153

These author comments are the sort of thing that spring - strongly - to mind when people start talking about Downton in terms of good characters and bad characters and who you’re supposed to side with because, well, just look at who’s writing it!

The concept that Julian Fellowes is an upper crust, heterosexual, cys, white man and therefore wants us to side with the upper crust characters and the ones with the moral high ground, no matter what, is wrong and built on audience prejudice. He frequently disagrees with the actions of Team Upstairs. Or he’ll do something like the second quote where one character will have a stronger moral stance, but he doesn’t agree with them. There are multiple places with a comment that basically amounts to “And here we have Robert/Carson/Matthew being an idiot...”

Julian Fellows is the son of a mixed-class couple who married in the ‘30s, before it was cool. His Dad’s family didn’t approve. They made sure his mother knew they didn’t approve. They did it in front of him. It’s all in the forward to “The World of Downton Abbey”.  It’s where his fascination not with the upper class, but with the entire class structure comes from. The reason he was able to do such a good job with the servants is because he sympathizes with them, and we’re supposed to do the same. Hell, in three seasons worth of scripts the only character I can think of he didn’t say something nice about was Larry Grey.

He even managed sympathy for Very Bates, for crying out loud!

Downton Abbey is a complicated show. It is supposed to be complicated. You’re supposed to have mixed feeling and change your mind about characters and situations as they go and develop. You’re supposed to side with characters with dubious morality and to look at characters the rest of the cast loves and want to beat them over the head for being an insufferable dolt.

It’s supposed to be be as real as possible. Can you imagine actually eating dinner with the woman who inspired Violet? She was his....great aunt, I believe. So yeah, he did that. Those dinners are, in a sense, very real.

How many of you agree with your entire family all of the time?

So if you are reducing it to “blah blah, good character always right because blah blah money and morals” then you have no one but yourself to blame for the fact you’re watching a boring, aggravating, not remotely worth-while program.

[general-yasur]

oh wait we're doing oc rants? oooOO i'm gonna bring up my nextgen kids because i'm too impatient to wait on having the refsheet done aaaaAah! anyway i saw your pixane children sometime back and was like 'i need some of those too o-o'

so i got C.Y.R.I.S, master of wind (pix gets it from morro after she defeats the preeminent in ns11), and Loid, future master of ice. he's not allowed to have his dad's power yet because his parents and granddad messed up his programming. he's basically cryptor 2.0 cause they were building him at borg tower where cry's old backup code accidentally got crossed with his, so that's his character arc lol. anyway him and cyris are red oni, blue oni to each other and fight constantly but they learn to have each other's backs no matter what. also, through plot shenanigans, morro is revived, elemental-less, and part of their team with him often giving cy unsolicited mentorship on wind and butting heads with her brother, usually over their discrepancy in intelligence (loid is unfortunately not very smart, meanwhile morro IS smart and he knows it lmao)

my other sibling group is nyrei, infant daughter of the sea, and her big brothers the lightning twins. don't have names for them yet rip. when nya first returns from the ocean, she's still half water and believes she will be forever. she and jay agree to adopt when they're ready for kids (i'm pretty sure she canonically wants children and jay would totally go for adoption), but soon after they're surprised with nyrei who inherits her mom's power and becomes part ocean herself when she's born (well like nya finds out she's pregnant when she starts losing her powers and turning fully human). a couple years later, jay meets the twins and knows instinctively they're the ones, adopting them immediately, and he passes his power onto them early so he can be equal with nya. they're too young to go on ninja adventures but they take good care of their baby sister~ since jay learns to control wojira's purple lightning during my seabound rewrite, he uses both colors while one twin uses blue and the other purple. when the three sibs get older and combine their powers, chaos ensues lol, like they'll be able to create a giant water avatar that shoots lightning, it'll be great

anyway, i understand this is SUPER het and i apologize if that's not welcome lol >.< the rest of the ninja still hold their powers, most haven't met their life partners yet, and aren't thinking about the whole children thing which are the only OCs i've turned over in my brain at this time. pixane and jaya are just the obligatory straights who either had circumstances or characterization reasons for it, like pix didn't want to be an EM to begin with/zane's had too many close calls/post-seabound jaya having a 'barbossa, marry us!' moment, so it all just kinda works out like this. thank you for enabling everyone, hope it wasn't too long :D

Aye! This is awesome! You definitely have your own canon going on which I can relate! I also LOVE that one of your pixane kids is named Cryis (spelling it differently is a nice touch) in my canon, Pixane’s son goes by “CJ” for Cyrus Julien. Wild how this kid has taken on the names of BOTH the founders of Nindroids. I digress because I could go on and on about their story.

I’m very curious about why you chose the name Loid. And I love the kids dynamic. CJ and Shae have something similar going on where they don’t get along very well (it takes hundreds of years for them to learn 😬).

Also lightning twins?? So cool. I can totally see that happening in canon if Ninjago ever makes it to the next gens.

What’s this I’m hearing about a Seabound rewrite? Inch resting. The concept of Jay learning to control purple lightning is SO COOL. I wonder what the differences are between them. Nya being half water and passing that down to her child is just aaaa. That is such a cool idea and has a lot of angst potential.

[bored-fan-bs-thoughts]

Tyrus Fic: Fake Dating

I know this has been done a thousand times, but I had this written and I didn’t want it to go to waste. T.J. and Cyrus “dating” to convince Cyrus’s Aunt Ruthie that he has a boyfriend. Enjoy!

Cyrus asks Aunt Ruthie if he can bring his friend Buffy to their annual family party, but she’s more interested in whether or not she’s his girlfriend. Cyrus sighs. Sometimes he wishes he could just have a giant sign across him that says ‘I’m gay,’ but he knows social stigmas would make that not very safe for someone with his considerable lack of physical strength.

“Why can’t you get a girlfriend already?” Aunt Ruthie asks.

Cyrus doesn’t know what compels him to respond in the way he does, but he’s just tired of hiding. He doesn’t question if she’ll respond negatively. He just says, “Maybe because I’m gay.” He immediately regrets saying it. His Aunt’s face morphs into a look of confusion…and Cyrus almost thinks there’s a little bit of disgust. Cyrus is mistaken though 

“Okay,” she says, “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“I do, actually,” Cyrus lies.

“Oh, really?” she says, cocking an eyebrow. “What’s his name?”

“Uh, T.J.” Cyrus immediately regrets that answer. He knows it’s not smart. He knows T.J.’s not homophobic, but he assumes the guy is uncomfortable with acting gay, especially around Cyrus’s entire family. He’s bracing himself for the next statement he knows is sure to come out of his Aunt’s mouth.

“Are you bringing him to the family picnic next week?”

“I don’t know,” Cyrus says, “I haven’t asked him yet.” Meaning, I haven’t even asked him to be my boyfriend yet and he’s probably straight, like statistically speaking. She doesn’t need to know that part, though.

------------

A couple days later, Cyrus finds himself hanging out with T.J. in his own room. He needs to tell T.J. for him to pretend to be in a relationship with him for a day, but he can’t quite get the words out. His friendship with T.J. has seemed so effortless in the past couple weeks. He doesn’t need his weird request to make everything different between them. He decides that it’s now or never. He’s beginning to realize that this conversation is not really going to arise naturally out of their study hang-out, so he just decides to bring it up out of the blue.

“So I may have told my Aunt that I have a boyfriend,” Cyrus says interrupting T.J. from his math homework.

“Okay?” he responds, “You don’t, right?”

“Correct,” Cyrus responds. T.J. nods his head as if to tell him to go on with his explanation. “I just got annoyed with her constant questioning of when I was going to get a girlfriend and it just slipped out.”

“Well, I don’t really know what to say,” T.J. says.

“The thing is, she thinks his name is T.J. and wants to meet him,” Cyrus says cautiously. T.J. doesn’t know how to respond. “Sorry, you were the first boy that popped into my head!”

“I’m the first boy you think of when you think of a boyfriend?” T.J. says. He has a typical confident grin plastered on his face. Of course he’s using this as an opportunity to boost his own ego.

Cyrus freezes, and a blush makes its way onto his cheeks. He stutters to make a coherent excuse even though the truth is exactly what T.J. is hinting at.

“It was a joke,” T.J. assures him. “So do you need me to pretend to be your boyfriend or something?”

“Yeah. There’s a big family party next weekend. It’s totally cool if you don’t want to—“

“Cyrus, I’ll do it,” he says, cutting Cyrus off. Cyrus just smiles. “Do I just have to hold your hand and give you cheek kisses or something?”

“Oh, yeah,” Cyrus responds, a bit too quickly for his liking. “That’s good.” T.J. nods. “I mean it’s like neutral. I guess.”

“Don’t get too excited,” T.J. mumbles. It’s clearly meant to be a joke, but Cyrus can’t help but notice that T.J. looks genuinely hurt.

“No. I mean, at least I’ll have someone to hang out with,” Cyrus reasons. “We need a story, though. Like how we started dating, how long it’s been, et cetera.”

T.J. pulls an extra sheet of notebook paper out of his spiral and grabs his pencil. “Let’s get to work.”

“You have homework,” Cyrus says, gesturing to the textbook sitting between them.

“This is much better than homework,” T.J. says with a teasing grin.

Great, Cyrus thinks, I’ve opened myself up to a whole new world of teasing.

“What should I wear?” T.J. asks first, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“Well, it’s a picnic, but it’s sort of a fancy picnic,” Cyrus says. “Although, people usually dress pretty casually. No hoodies.”

“Hey,” T.J. says in mock offense, “I thought you liked my all hoodie wardrobe.”

“I do,” Cyrus says, “But it’s not the greatest way to make a good impression on my extended family. They can be somewhat traditional.”

T.J. laughs in understanding.

—————

Cyrus was on FaceTime with Andi and Buffy the entire morning leading up to the party. He knows it’s not real, but he’s afraid his true desires will be revealed tonight. He spent forever picking out the right shirt and styling his hair. His friends yelled at him to calm down many times, but it did nothing to ease his nerves. 

When T.J. arrives at his house with flowers, Cyrus knows he’s in a for a wild ride. There is a cheesy, seemingly lovesick look in his eyes as he leans forward to give him a kiss on his cheek.

“Hi, babe,” T.J. whispers to him. It crosses Cyrus’s mind that he really doesn’t have to do that when it’s just them and his parents can’t hear him, but he is not about to complain. Before he can respond, Cyrus hears steps from behind him signaling the arrival of his parents.

“Dad and Sharon,” Cyrus says, “You both know T.J.”

“It’s nice to see you again,” his dad says, extending his hand to shake T.J.’s. “You’re dating my son?”

T.J. nods as he grasps Cyrus’s hand. “Yeah, it’s been about three months.”

His parents nod. Smiles are plastered on their faces, but he can tell there’s something more quizzical. It’s as if they’re assessing whether or not to actually trust the tale they’ve created.

Nevertheless, They both nod and invite T.J. in, explaining that they’ll be leaving in about twenty minutes. T.J. hands Sharon the flowers which certainly seem to win her over a little bit. Cyrus makes a mental note to thank him for that later.

—————

T.J. seems surprisingly at ease with their dating scheme. He is amazing at being polite (when he wants to), and he keeps the PDA to a level that is believable but not overwhelming. Cyrus finds himself just going along with what T.J. does because he’s too nervous to initiate anything himself. Cyrus can’t lie. He very much likes “having a boyfriend,” especially when that boyfriend is T.J.

They are about an hour into socializing when they’re approached by his Aunt Ruthie. Cyrus instinctively grabs onto T.J.’s hand in a slight panic. Aunt Ruthie isn’t scary per se, but she often makes snap judgements about people and she holds onto grudges for far longer than anyone ever should. She looks T.J. up and down with a critical eye.

“Aunt Ruthie, this is my boyfriend, T.J.,” Cyrus says nervously.

T.J. gives his hand a reassuring squeeze before smiling and greeting his Aunt.

“He doesn’t look Jewish,” is the first thing that comes out of her mouth.

Cyrus freezes and attempts to speak, but he stumbles over his words.

“My family’s not really religious,” T.J. explains, “But I would be willing to convert for Cyrus.”

Cyrus’s heart flutters for a second before he reminds himself that this is not real. It’s all for the sake of their scheme. And T.J.’s statement seems to have served its purpose because his Aunt smiles and lets out a small laugh.

The rest of the party is easeful. Cyrus grows more comfortable with the casual touches between them and even begins to initiate his own. Getting the approval of his Aunt was truly an accomplishment, and Cyrus knows the comfortable swag of his best friend is enough to win anyone over when he’s not terrorizing people.

��————

When the party is dying down, T.J. and Cyrus find a quiet spot to get away from the crowd. They sit on a bench in a part of the backyard that isn’t infested with flies. When they sit down, T.J. rests his arm across the bench behind him. Cyrus doesn’t think it’s necessary when there’s no one around, but he is definitely not going to complain.

“You are a fantastic fake boyfriend,” Cyrus says. “You even won over Aunt Ruthie! She doesn’t like anyone.”

“What can I say?” T.J. says with a smug smile. “No one can resist my undeniable charm.”

Cyrus smiles, but he definitely agrees with the boy’s statement. A thick silence passes over them. T.J. shifts in his seat. He removes his hand from behind Cyrus, who tries not to be too disappointed by that, and begins to fumble with his hands.

“Cy,” T.J. says. His voice is soft and unsure. He can’t seem to look up from his hands in his lap. “Today was a really nice day.”

“I thought so, too,” Cyrus says with a smile. His heart flutters from T.J.’s vulnerability. T.J. removes his hand from behind Cyrus and places it in his lap. Cyrus notices a shift in his mood. He seems nervous. Unsettled. Cyrus is about to ask if he’s okay before T.J. speaks.

“Am I crazy to, maybe, want to do it for real?” T.J. whispers. Cyrus’s heart nearly stops. He looks over at T.J. who’s eyes are focused only on his hands. He smiles, frozen with surprise.

“No,” he says, “Because then we’d both be crazy.”

T.J.’s eyes slowly meet Cyrus’s to search for any sign of deception. When he finds sincerity, T.J.’s face breaks into a wide, bashful smile. His eyes full of love and joy.

“Can I kiss you?” T.J. asks.

Cyrus answers with a nod before leaning forward to connect his lips with T.J.’s. It’s a short kiss, but it’s already a hundred times better than the two he shared with Iris. His eyes meet T.J.’s, who looks like his whole life was made. Cyrus finds it intoxicating that he can have this effect on others, especially on T.J. His cheeks heat up and he ducks his head to burrow it into T.J.’s chest. He feels T.J.’s arm wrap around him.

“We have to leave soon,” Cyrus says, his voice muffled by T.J.’s shirt.

“I don’t want this night to end,” T.J. says, tightening his grip on Cyrus.

“Don’t worry, there’ll be plenty more nights like this,” Cyrus promises.

The smile that overtakes T.J.’s face is the most brilliant sight that Cyrus has ever seen, and Cyrus can’t believe he gets to kiss that face now.

[spiffysixxsense]

Hello annoying best friend here to fulfill my duty by asking you to answer all of the cute asks

angel; do you have a nickname?

not really. my name is already short and I don't have a prominent quality to nickname me after. The only person who refers to me as anything other than my name is my boyfriend, but I don't think “babe/baby” really counts as a nickname lol

awe; how old are you?

24

baby; favorite color?

dark teal (blue-green? I've never found a good name for my favorite color)

bloop; spirit animal?

so because I didn't have a good answer for this, I decided to google a quiz to find out, lol. My answer was a deer. here's why;

When you have the deer as spirit animal, you are highly sensitive and have a strong intuition. By affinity with this animal, you have the power to deal with challenges with grace. You master the art of being both determined and gentle in your approach.

The deer totem wisdom imparts those with a special connection with this animal with the ability to be vigilant, move quickly, and trust their instincts to get out the trickiest situations

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

i don't really have a favorite book, i don't read much outside of school (I wish i did)

movie: A Beautiful Mind

song: oh dear lord i cannot pick just one, but all-time favorite band of mine is Shinedown

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

a little stuffed dog that looked like Kipper from the TV show, I still have him :)

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

lmao what came to mind was when i pledged to never drink, smoke, or say bad words. two out of fucking three ain't bad i guess. 

bright; mermaids or fairies?

(honestly neither but) fairies

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

given the asker, i would say yes :) also i am lame and my boyfriend is also my best friend 

buttercup; showers or baths?

S H O W E R S. hate baths!

butterfly; dream destination?

I've never had a huge desire to travel honestly. like sure i could say Italy or Greece look beautiful, but the actual act of traveling overseas really stresses me out lol. so i would have to say more like upper midwest, like Maine, in the fall time for all the pretty trees.

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

i am neither

calm; favorite scent?

anything fruity - pineapple, mango, berries, apples. at least in terms of what candles i like lol.

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

i do not remember anything from last night - the last dream i remember involved my boyfriend, dad and i being lost up north lol

charming; have you ever been in love?

currently 

cozy; eye/hair color?

hazel / brunette 

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

the 1970′s for the fashion

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

love me a good succulent

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

well this last birthday was amidst quarantine, so I got some candles and granola (my boyfriend knows me well lol)

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

i have no idea? what an odd question? probably some stuffed animal?

cutsie; what makes you happy?

picnics, alone time, my boyfriend, my cat choosing to cuddle with me.

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

I really cant think of a time I've ever felt truly free. maybe when i drove myself to school earlier this year & didn't have to wait for someone to pick me up? 

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

as a light in others lives. happy, bubbly. things i currently am not

daylight; favorite album of all time?

gosh these dang music questions. well, Nickelback - All the Right Reasons was the first album i ever bought myself. then maybe Shinedown - The Sound of Madness (i cant pick one OKAY)

dear; zodiac sign?

Taurus 

delightful; concerts or museums?

concerts

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes? this question makes me feel old, lol. 

dobby; dream job?

criminologist. some way to be reducing the mass incarceration rate in the US. 

doll; how do you like to dress?

comfy, v necks and leggings. As i have gotten older i have slowly wanted to be more feminine i think, because i really want some sundresses for summer lol

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

one! when i was 12ish, i swear i saw a reflection of a uniformed man (like old school soldier uniform - blue blazer with gold cufflinks) behind me in the glass of my snakes tank at the time. it was weird because the only reason i even looked that way was because my snake started shaking his tail against the glass, something that corn snakes do when they are scared, but also something that in his entire life had never done unprompted ever. 

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

want yes, have no

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

100%. no way we are alone in this universe

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

he makes my days so much better :)

fairy; do you have a pet?

I have one little old kitty :)

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

to vacation, ocean. to live, mountain

forever; where do you feel time stop?

the secretary of state? lol

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

I've never owned a plant lol

garden; how many languages do you know?

one :(

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

@cy-ne-fin 

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

sepia photography/old books that have yellowed into sepia. or fresh greenery on white marble. 

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

i don't really get any anymore, but as long as they are nice or just questions/venting, im down. don't be offended if i never answer though, for some reason i never get Tumblr notifications lol

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

im compassionate

im empathetic (which is similar but im struggling to get to 5 lol)

im goal-oriented

im determined (once i have said goal. again, related lol) 

i guess i like my lips/lip shape

heart; silk or lace?

lace

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

tea. iced, black or green really, with sugar. 

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

bird watching because it means i am probably alone and in nature as opposed to somewhere in a crowd of people. and i wont feel creepy for watching the birds lol

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

white noise, a fan running. if that's not enough, i enjoy asmr. if i am really struggling/having anxiety, i will look up sleep stories from the headspace app on youtube (life hack to not have to pay for the app lol)

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

to be outside, i enjoy just warm enough to be comfy in pants and a t-shirt (so like 65F-ish) and sunny.To be inside, i love when it is cooler (like 50F?) and raining. I love the look, sound, and smell of rain but it is usually just inconvenient to be in. 

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

well now all days are the same for me, #quarantine, so the same thing i do every day, just about nothing, lol

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

i guess laugh loudly because i am a loud person in general. i have a deep voice

kinky; do you blush easily?

i don't think so, my embarrassment turns into sweat, not blush, lmao

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

i guess being proposed to someday? but i don't have a certain dream way of it happening, just the fact that its happening is enough for me lol. id enjoy if someone (cough Elle or also maybe Michael lol) were secretly filming and/or taking photos of it? I am not sure how you'd manage that though

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

late at night when everything is quiet

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

old school three days grace (one-x album in particular)

love; what is your favorite season and why?

i always gravitate to fall for the leaves and pumpkin patches. but honestly, i think my favorite season is spring. i love the newly budding trees and flowers, the feeling of renewal, the release from the horrible Michigan winter lol, but most importantly, spring time for my whole life as of yet has always meant that school is over for the semester! as opposed to the fall when the semester starts. this is very long winded but spring final answer lol

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

I've never had a macaron and blue moon ice cream 

magic; what are five flaws you have?

ooooo boy

im short tempered/angry too much 

im unmotivated (which is confusing maybe because i said i am determined earlier. you see, once i HAVE a goal i feel determined to finish it. but i am unmotivated to create said goals, lol) 

im nonconfrontational to a fault where i always put others’ feelings before my own

i let fear of change stop me from ever taking risks/ am anxious

i am stubborn and sometimes have a hard time admitting i am wrong

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

this depends - screw pastels. warm neutrals for makeup purposes, but cool darks for aesthetic or decor purposes

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

someone who feels like home. I am not entirely sure how else to explain that. you just feel peace and content with them. 

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

something that allows you to only be with your date - so like a picnic or hike or just a walk even. my boyfriend and i liked to walk around in the fall for me to take pictures of leaves while he played pokemon go (man i miss the pokemon go summer and i have never even PLAYED it, it was just so fun to be with him while he played)

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

on youtube usually

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. if your family is toxic for whatever reason, you do not owe them your time strictly because they are family. 

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook, im not super into sweets & i want to enjoy the final product

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

normal? like its legible but its not pretty or cute

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

no:( wish i could play bass or drums

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

i don't :)

i really don't have an answer other than solving whatever is stressing me out, lol. i wish i had more mechanisms to calm me down but nothing i have tried has ever really worked

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

you know these favorites questions are hard for me lol. right now, i am loving watermelon, but i also love most fruits. kiwis! vegetable, i feel like i have to say potato lol

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

lol the last thing i read had to be some academic text, so that's boring

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

meeting Alex i guess, it changes my whole life path to have someone you want to do life with 

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

quarantine? lol

shine; art or music?

music is art.

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

i think so. Elle’s dog griffin loves me for some reason lol

smitten; do you collect anything?

not really

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

4

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

jolly ranchers 

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

nope

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

nope

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

Spongebob probably. unless we are talking like really tiny, toddler age, then Winnie the pooh

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

i live in a 2 bedroom apartment, there arent any spots. lol. my bed i guess

soothe; digital or vinyl?

i mean digital for convenience but vinyl for aesthetic 

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

i mean the only person i really actively miss ever is Alex. @cy-ne-fin sometimes, but i have also grown used to living away from each other

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyalty, honesty, & humor

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

if i must pick, practical. 

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

absolutely not. i feel like a burden with my feelings even though i shouldn't 

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

honestly not really. am on the fence still about ever having any 

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

not really

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

i am as average as they come man, nothing is unique about me lol

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

like a background friend? like i am not very social, so we do not have to talk every day to be friends. so like im here if you need me, but i enjoy alone time. 

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

the way my boyfriend looks at me, & as i was working on this my cat came to cuddle, which i gave as an answer earlier before he jumped up here :)

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owlllllll

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

the power to heal those who are hurting (including myself)

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home home home home

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

not anymore, i did in high school/early college years. not I've stopped caring

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

messy? kinda in the middle really. 

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

my state, sure. my city in particular is definitely pretty boring

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

I've never seen one :(

[tylercamebackyes]

i adore you, Cy.

-

surprise!! @imonlyhereforgay this is your gift!! i was stressing over it because everyone has so many parts and amazing stuff but i worked really hard on mine so im not changing it anymore. happy pride! also i used When too many times but i dont think TJ would care if he wrote a letter to Cyrus.

-

TJ writes a confession to Cyrus.

-

Dear Cyrus,

These are 10 of the times I got lost in your eyes.

When we went out for milkshakes after my first game of the season. You were telling a story about how your cousin drank his milkshake in 4 minutes flat, only to realize he was lactose intolerant. He never went out to eat with you again because you laughed at him for weeks. You laughed so hard telling the story that you started crying, but your eyes were lit up with joy.

When you came out to me in your basement. I made a joke about how girls would love a ping pong champion. You said you hoped the guys did too. The guys most certainly do. I was stunned into silence because I realized you wouldn't find it so weird that I thought your eyes were pretty.

That time we went on the Ferris wheel at Adrenaline City. You wouldn't look away from the spinning wheel, but I made you have a staring contest with me. You looked like you were about to cry until Marty spun the wheel and you screeched with your head in your hands.

When I had dinner at your house for your dad's birthday. I was helping serve cake when you said I had gotten frosting on my nose. You wiped it off with a napkin because I "wasn't getting the blue off." The blue didn't even come off after.

When I was getting you do do the high jump into the foam pit at Bouncy Castle Land. Andi and Buffy had always let you sit out, but I made you count to 10 with me before you let me push you off the platform.

When my cat had kittens and you were holding one, but it sneezed and you look at me smiling like a goof. I thought I could look at you smiling like a goof forever.

That time we were studying for my math test and you laughed at the drawing of my cat. When you laugh you get a sparkle in your eye. I got  B+ on that math test and you took me to the Spoon to celebrate.

When we were playing the second championship game and I looked over at you during the last timeout. Your smile made me want to win the game to make you proud even though you would be proud either way.

When Andi was thinking about going to New York for an art school, so you went to the swings to think about it. I told you that you were allowed to be upset about it because she was your best friend and you would miss her more if you were here instead of with her. Andi decided not to go.

When you got a brain freeze from eating a snow cone too fast at the fair.

9 times I almost held your hand.  Mostly times I missed my chance to.

When we went on that roller coaster and you said you couldn't feel your hands. I thought about it for a long time, but then we were upside down and I missed my chance.

When I watched your dance final and you were shaking when you finished, because when I'm shaking people holding my hands make me feel better but you were being hugged by Buffy before I got the nerve to.

When you came out to Amber at the Spoon, because she said she was frosting everything rainbow for pride month and you said you would definitely but a piece of cake for that, and she asked if you were LGBT+ and you paused and said you were gay. I didn't want to reach over the table so I didn't hold your hand.

When we were both laying on the couch but we couldn't reach the remote, so we both reached out to get it. I ended up falling off the couch.

When my cat scratched you and I helped you clean your hand, and I did technically hold your hand but I almost really held your hand.

When Andi was up for an art award and they were announcing winners. I started clapping to snap you out of peeling your fingernails. She didn't win, but she got 2nd place.

When we were having a sleepover and you turned over on the air mattress just to say "TJ, I LOVE dinosaurs." You started showing me shadow puppet dinosaurs, but you were too tired to do it right.

At Andi's slumber party, you were doing everyone's nails with Amber, and you painted mine yellow. "You're like my lemon boy, Teej. Or a sour-patch kid. Because you're sweet now," you said.

When Andi was upset about her parents not getting married and Buffy was hanging out with Marty again, you told me that you were afraid it was straining your relationship with them. I told you that if you could survive Celia becoming Ce-Ce and Buffy moving you could survive some change.

8 times I almost kissed you.

When we were at the pool and you did the big water slide, and you were so excited that you choked on the water. You laughed so hard that you had to get out of the pool.

When we met Amber's dog for the first time, and you thought he was the cutest thing in the world.

When we got churros at the fair. You got cinnamon on your nose and I still have no idea how.

When we had that pillow fight and you somehow got a hold of every pillow and it was like you had 3 pairs of nun-chucks.

When we were at the drive-in and you were holding all of the candy because Jonah had a broken arm. He said you wouldn't let him hold anything, but you said his arm was hurting. It was probably both.

That time at the lake when I jumped in, and you didn't want to jump in after me so you tried just walking into the lake but you slipped on the mud.

When we were swimming for Buffy's birthday party, Marty and Jonah flipped your floatie over. You complained about your hair the whole day, but I thought it looked better.

When you saw the shooting star on July 4th. Right after you saw it the fireworks started and the sound scared you.

7 times I almost told someone I liked you.

Buffy asked me after my first game of the season if I liked you, and I almost said yes. I said I didn't know.

My mom asked me why I had become so much happier lately. I said I was just having fun hanging out with you and everyone. Part of it was me being happy about coming out, but it was also being around you that made me so happy.

Jonah asked me how long we had been dating. He really thought we'd been dating for months.

I was paying for a Queen record when Bowie asked about the drawings on my hand. He asked me who drew it and when I said that you drew it, he said, "You two are pretty close, huh?" I just smiled and said yeah.

My cousins came over for Christmas. Addie is 8 years old and when she saw me texting you she said, "Why are you smiling so much? My mamma says people only smile that much when they're in love!" I thought it was really funny that she pointed it out before Buffy or Amber.

Jonah, Marty, and I were watching Love, Simon and they asked why I knew all of the emails by heart. It was nice to think of having a love story like that, even if it wasn't with you.

I almost told Amber's dog once, but Andi walked in before I said it.

6 times I did hold your hand.

When you were over and my parents started fighting while we played Mortal Kombat. I didn't want to feel scared like I always feel when they fight, even though I had never done it when they fought before.

When I came out to my dad. Or before, I guess. It made it easier having you there because I had someone there for me if my dad wasn't.

When you had a sleepover and we tried to watch all of Supernatural in one night. I fell asleep after a few episodes, but the first scene always makes me nervous.

When I was going into math class for the last test of the semester. You had worked with me the most and you believing that I could pass made me really want to pass the test.

When we listened to Paris by Sabrina Carpenter for the first time. It was more of me grabbing your hand and spinning you around to the music, but it counts.

When you brought me the blueberry macadamia muffin. That was one of the best muffins I've ever had, by the way.

5 times I almost called you at 2 am.

When my parents were fighting and I wanted to distract myself, but I ended up watching YouTube.

When Khalid announced his tour and I saw the post. You actually ended up calling me first.

When my cat threw up on my bed. I was really stressed but I got worried about the cat and told my mom instead.

After you dislocated your thumb when I tried to teach you how to play basketball. I was so worried that I couldn't sleep, but your mom posted on Facebook that you were fine so I let it be.

When I realized the song stuck in my head was Electric Love by BØRNS. Then I realized you were probably asleep, so I didn't.

4 times I did call you at 2 am.

When my dad told my mom that I was gay. I thought he was cool with it, but while they were fighting he said, "So YOU can have our abomination of a son." My parent decided to get a divorce later that week. I probably called you every week because I couldn't handle it.

When I realized another song that was stuck in my head was Maneater by Nelly Furtado. You didn't know what song I was talking about until I sang the "you wish you never met her at all" part.

When I had that nightmare where a clown came and attacked the whole town but you had an alliance with him but he was set on killing me so you died defending me then the clown died because he wasn't allowed to kill you.

When you texted me saying you hated crying at 2 am. You were crying about your stepdad making a homophobic joke. I said that he probably didn't mean it, and would stop once he realized he was directly hurting you. It still wasn't okay, though.

3 times I thought I had lost you.

When Reed brought that gun. I know I've said it dozens of times, but I didn't think he would bring it while you were there.

When your dad was thinking about moving to Texas and you got really excited, but your mom said she didn't want to give up custody so he stayed. I wanted you to be happy, but I also wanted to be with you forever and I wouldn't really want to be in Texas for months or years on end.

When Kira outed me to the school, and she looked at you when she said I was really obvious about it. I thought you weren't ready to come out in any way at school, but you said that our friendship was worth more than avoiding humiliation.

2 times I almost confessed.

That day when we couldn't reach the remote from the couch. Me falling off the couch made me forget about it, though.

When I came out to you. I was crying and you were almost crying and I have no idea why I was so terrified.

1 time I did.

Right now. I don't know why it's taken me so long, but with enough reassurance from Jonah and Andi, I'm writing this letter to you right now. I adore you, Cy. I want to be around you all the time. I would really, really like to kiss you. I know you might not feel the same, but I also know our friendship would survive a crush. I don't like keeping secrets from you. The last one is this: I like you. I like you more than I've ever liked anyone. And I had a teddy bear named Blueberry for 12 years until Reed blew it up. That's all.

    Love, TJ. aka Tyler James.

[thinkingaboutyoungroyals]

The Space Between Us (Chapter 4)

Summary: After the events of Costume Day, Cyrus asks T.J. for space. How will T.J. handle this distance between them?

A/N: Now that the plagiarism incident is behind us, this story can get rolling once more!

The cafeteria lady placed a wrapped sandwich, a cup of fruit, and a carton of apple juice on his tray. Giving her a faint smile, T.J. thanked her before taking his food and heading to the basketball team’s table. 

He was barely halfway there when he spotted the familiar head of curly hair, sitting next to one of the Forwards, laughing with everyone.

His stomach churning with nausea, T.J. changed his course, heading for the back of the cafeteria, instead. There were some tables there, hidden behind some pillars and away from prying eyes.

He didn’t want to sit with the team right then. Or maybe for a while. Not while Kira was still trying to buddy-buddy her way in. She really couldn’t take a hint.

As he scanned the back for an empty table, his eye caught two familiar figures in a corner, sitting at a table by the trash cans.

T.J. hesitated but before he could turn around and find someplace else to eat his lunch (maybe the bathroom or a classroom), one of the figures raised his head and caught sight of him, his blue eyes connecting with T.J.’s own.

For a moment, they stared at each other, neither moving nor looking away.

The second figure spun around in his seat and saw him. Smiling kindly at him, he lifted a hand to wave.

Swallowing, T.J. returned the smile and approached, his heart hammering in his chest.

“Long time no see, Kippen,” Reed drawled out, smirking.

T.J. nodded. “Yeah.” He gestured to the empty spot beside Lester. “Can I sit with you, guys?”

Reed tilted his head in agreement while Lester scooted over to give him space.

For the first time in weeks, T.J. sat with his old friends.

After the whole gun issue, he had taken extra measures to avoid the two boys. They weren't bad kids, exactly. Stupid, sure. But, it wasn't like they went out of their way to do bad things and get in trouble. T.J., himself, was no angel. But, he was taking steps to change. Meeting and becoming friends with Cyrus made him want to become better. And the first step was to distance himself from trouble.

It seemed like his efforts were in vain. He still messed up and he still found himself sitting with the friends he abandoned in his quest to become a better person.

He cleared his throat as he unwrapped his sandwich. "So... what's up?"

Across from him, Reed chuckled. "Same old, same old. Except now, I'm a changed man. I don't play with my dad's guns anymore. Mostly because they’re all under lock and key and code now and he and my mom won’t let me near the Master’s Bedroom anymore. And I’m pretty sure they installed a camera in there so I’m not risking it, man."

He laughed again, somehow finding the humor in such a serious incident. That was Reed for you.

T.J. managed a strained smile before moving his attention to his sandwich and taking a bite. It was tuna salad. It tasted like nothing. Maybe it was just his mood.

“Hey, um, so I never apologized for, uh, last time.”

T.J. looked up to see Reed looking sheepish and, dare he say, a little guilty. Reed never felt guilty about anything – he was too proud for that.

“So, I’m sorry,” the other blonde boy continued, sounding sincere.

“Me too,” added Lester.

This was an interesting turn of events.

T.J. felt himself smile at both of them. They were idiots. But, they were his idiots (though he would never say that to their faces).

“Thanks. And… sorry for shoving you, man,” he said to Reed.

The other boy shrugged. “Nah, I deserved it. I shouldn’t have done it. And, don’t worry, Mom grounded me… after she threatened to divorce my Dad.” He chuckled again, shaking his head. “And… I apologized to Cyrus, too.”

T.J.’s eyes widened at that. “Yeah?”

Reed smiled. “Yeah. He’s a great guy, Teej.”

T.J. already knew that.

“What happened between you two, anyway?”

His chest twitched with guilt at the reminder.

“Stuff… happened,” was all he could say. “It’s… a little hard to explain.”

“It has something to do with the Kira chick, right? What’s the deal with her, anyway?”

T.J. took a sip of his apple juice before letting out a sigh. “She wants to join the team.”

“Your team?”

T.J. hummed.

“But, there’s a girl’s team now,” Lester pointed out.

“Buffy doesn’t want her on her team. Because of bad sportsmanship, I heard.”

“Sounds like the old you,” Reed laughed.

T.J glared at him. “That’s not me anymore.”

The other boy raised his hands in surrender. “Chill, man. I know you’re not.” His gaze softened. “Cyrus really did a number on you.”

To his embarrassment, T.J. flushed red. “He just… he believed in me.” His lips quirked into a small smile, remembering all of Cyrus’ encouragement and faith in him. “I didn’t want to let him down.” Cyrus’ devastated face flashed in his mind, making his smile dip into a frown. “But I did it, anyway. He hates me, now.”

His voice strained at that last sentence and he looked down at his food tray, lest the tears started falling in front of the two boys. He was sure they would make fun of him if he cried.

To his surprise, Reed only said, “He doesn’t hate you. Upset, yeah, but I don’t think he’s capable of hating you. Trust me. I talked to him this morning.”

T.J. finally raised his head. “Yeah, I saw you two.” He swallowed. “Is he okay?”

The other blonde hesitated, seeming to be contemplating his answer. “He… looks like he’s okay. But… I don’t think he actually is.”

T.J.’s heart fell at that. Cyrus didn’t deserve this. How could he do this to his best friend?! He was one of the only few people left who still believed in him and his capabilities! He trusted T.J. with everything and defended him at every turn!

And, once more, the guilt and anger at himself settled in his stomach, making him queasy. He didn’t feel like eating anymore.

“Hey, dude.” Reed’s call made him lift his head, but he refused to meet the other blonde’s eyes. “I know it’s bad, now. But, I’m sure things will be okay again.”

T.J. wished he could say that that made him feel better, but it only made him feel worse. He appreciated the attempt at making him feel better but, unfortunately, comfort was not Reed’s forte.

“Yeah, maybe. Thanks.”

He cleared his throat and opted to change the subject lest he really started crying.

“Anyway… How did your community service go?” he asked, instead.

Immediately, Reed pursed his lips in disgust. “Excruciating! They made me clean up the park! You know, pick up litter and plant some flowers and all that jazz. Do you know how much people litter?! And they don’t recycle! They’re so rude!” 

He huffed, looking personally offended by people’s horrendous trash disposal habits. “It wasn’t too bad towards the end, though. They took me off litter duty and had me do a few hours at the community center.” 

Then, all of a sudden, he just…grinned. “I met this cute girl during one of the activities,” he stated, excitedly. “She’s an artist and she does these cool murals and…”

And, with that, he droned on and on and on.

T.J. raised a brow in surprise. Subtly, he turned to Lester with a questioning gaze.

“He won’t shut up about her,” the brunette replied, quietly.

Wow. Reed must really like this girl. T.J. had never seen him so excited talking about someone before. It reminded him of… well… him whenever he talked about Cyrus. He was pretty sure he looked like that. All smiley and happy… unlike how he was now.

Shaking his head, T.J. listened to Reed go on and on about this girl. It provided a nice distraction from his stormy thoughts.

..............

Cyrus was distracted. He barely touched his food and, instead, was staring somewhere else. His lips were pursed and his eyebrows scrunched in close examination.

Buffy was worried about him. The last few days had been really rough.

Beside her, Andi also noticed Cyrus’ far-off look. “Cy, you okay?” she asked.

Cyrus blinked a few times before looking back at them. “T.J.’s not sitting with the basketball team,” he simply said, looking confused.

That piqued Buffy’s curiosity. Spinning around in her seat, she locked her gaze on the team’s table. Andi did the same.

All the usual guys were there…with Kira. However, T.J., the Captain, was nowhere to be seen.

“That is weird,” she voiced out, frowning.

They continued to watch the team laughing or nodding along with whatever Kira was saying. She sure loved to talk.

“Do you think something happened?” Andi questioned.

“I don’t know,” Cyrus replied. “But, the last time T.J. didn’t sit with any of his friends was when… you know… the thing with Reed.”

Buffy remembered that day well. She remembered seeing T.J.’s hopeful face as he looked at Cyrus. She watched that hope die when she and Andi took Cyrus away. Honestly, she still of felt a little guilty for doing that, but she didn’t regret it. Her friends’ safety always came first.

And, even if she didn’t consider T.J. a friend, but she was just as worried and concerned for him, especially after he practically came begging to her for help the day before.

Determined, she got to her feet. “I’m gonna go talk to them,” she said in response to her friends’ questioning looks.

Head held high, she weaved her way down the aisles in between tables of lunching students. The team noticed her before she even got close.

One of the guys, Tony, grinned and stood up. “Driscoll! What’s up?” He extended his hand out which she slapped in response.

“Hey, guys,” she greeted them before schooling her features into that of nonchalance when she met Kira’s frown. “Kira.”

“What are you doing here?” the other girl huffed. “You’re not on this team anymore, remember?”

She was trying to get a rise out of Buffy, that was for sure.

Taking a deep breath and mentally reminding herself to calm down, Buffy simply smiled. “Well, I once was part of this team. You know, before I managed to make my own?”

If Kira’s looks could kill, Buffy would be a goner. Thankfully, they were not.

“But, I miss these dorks, sometimes.,” she continued, still beaming that her cheeks hurt. “We had some good times.”

All at once, the boys spoke up.

“We miss you, too, Slayer!”

“It’s not the same without you!”

“Your team should come by sometime and practice with us!”

“We went to your last game!”

Pleased, Buffy simply flashed Kira a neutral smile before turning back to the boys.

“Awww, you guys are so sweet! I’ll talk to T.J. about that practice, I think it would be good for the girls.”

She took another glance at Kira, who seemed to realize that she was losing the team’s attention. With an angry glare, she stood up.

“I have to go,” she said, gathering her things and picking up her tray. “The air here seems stuffy all of a sudden.”

Without another word, she walked off, making sure to bump Buffy’s shoulder in the process.

She resisted the urge to go after her and retaliate, in some way. But, right now, she had more important things to take care of.

“Anyway, speaking of T.J., where is he?” she asked, casually as she occupied the now vacant seat.

The boys shrugged.

“No idea,” one of them answered. “He didn’t have lunch with us.”

Pursing her lips, Buffy continued to prod. “So… he and Kira, huh?” she tried to sound nonchalant. “When did you guys start hanging out with her?

At this point, the boys gave each other looks, as if they were unsure if they should say anything.

Finally, the shooting guard, Freddie, decided to speak up. “She just kinda showed up last Friday at Costume Day. T.J. brought her.”

Tony scoffed. “More like she brought him.”

Buffy quirked an eyebrow. Interesting choice of words. “So… is T.J. letting her into the team?”

“Don’t think so,” Tony answered. “She’s been coming by practice, though, and I guess Teej is too nice now to make her leave. I mean, don’t get us wrong, she’s a great player but she’s kinda…”

“Pushy,” another player filled in.

The others nodded in agreement.

“Honestly, we like you better, Buffy.”

She couldn’t help but proudly puff her chest out at that.

“And Kira keeps following T.J. around and showing up wherever we are. I don’t know about you, but T.J. seems annoyed by it.”

“But, like Tony said, T.J.’s been too nice to tell her off.”

Too nice. That was a phrase she never thought someone would use to describe the boy’s team captain. But, he really had changed a lot since her days with the team.

And it was all because of Cyrus.

T.J. changed and made himself better because of Cyrus.

And, as much as it hurt her to even think about it, Buffy really was rooting for them to make up and leave this whole incident behind them.

…….....

A soft sigh left Cyrus’ lips, after hearing Buffy recount everything the boys’ basketball team had told her.

“I don’t know about you, guys, but I think Kira is definitely using T.J. to get on the team,” she continued as they walked away down the hall.

“For sure!” Andi agreed. “Can you believe how she’s acting like she’s friends with the whole basketball team when they think she’s actually… what did they call her, again? Bossy?”

“Pushy,” Buffy corrected. “But, pretty much.” She grinned. “They obviously like me better.”

“Everyone does,” Andi agreed.

Cyrus felt himself break into his first chuckle of the day. That got him both girls’ attention.

“Have you talked to him?” Andi asked, sounding concerned.

He shook his head. “No.” He pursed his lips. “But, I got a letter this morning.”

“What did it say?” Buffy asked.

He sighed again. “That he’s giving me space.”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?”

His heart dropped to his stomach. “Yeah… I guess…”

“You don’t… sound happy about it,” Buffy continued to prod.

“Is anyone really happy to be not talking to their friend? I mean, just because I’m the one who asked for space doesn’t mean I’m enjoying it either. I just… need time.”

Andi walked closer to his side. “Are you still mad at him?”

A nerve on his forehead twitched. “I’m not mad.”

“Cyrus, you keep saying that you’re not mad but your actions say something else,” said Buffy.

“You don’t have to hide how you really feel about everything that happened,” Andi added. “You’re allowed to be mad, you know.”

Cyrus couldn’t help but think back on Costume Day. The moment he saw T.J. unzipping his hoodie to show the “Dribble” written across his shirt. How frozen and helpless and betrayed and so… pissed off he felt during those few minutes.

“Okay. Fine. Maybe I’m a little mad,” he confessed. “But, I’m also not mad. Ugh, it’s complicated! And I hate that I can’t just name exactly what I’m feeling right now because it’s a lot of different emotions!” He bit his lip, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I told him that I forgive him but I also can’t stop thinking about what he did. No matter what I do, I can’t let it go as easily as I usually do. And I don’t get it. I really… don’t get it. It’s… it’s a lot to take in.

Andi nudged his shoulder with hers. “But, you know we’re here for you, right?”

“Of course,” he replied, pausing. “You, guys, are my most trusted and bestest best friends. Nothing will ever change that.”

They both wrapped him in a tight hug and for a moment, Cyrus felt a little better.

The last few days weren’t easy for him emotion-wise, if he was honest. It was the first time in a while where he felt so genuinely hurt and unwanted that he didn’t know what to do with himself or how to act.

But, the girls never left his side.

“Anyway, we have English,” said his pixie-haired friend as they released him. “We’ll see you later?”

“Yeah.”

The two girls gave him one last wave before walking off together in another direction.

Sighing again, Cyrus turned a corner to get to the next hallway for his own class when he stopped in his tracks.

He stood there, frozen. 

T.J. was only a few feet away, talking to some guy he didn’t know. 

Cyrus’ heartbeat quickened and his palms got all sweaty. There was no time to leave the hallway and go a different route to his classroom. The bell was about to ring.

Then, the other guy left with a wave goodbye at T.J., who turned his head to the side just in time to see him.

They stood there, staring at each other. The air seemed thick and heavy around them. Cyrus wondered if T.J. felt the same way.

He thought his friend would walk over and say “hi”, maybe beg Cyrus to talk to him again, just like he had the last time they spoke face-to-face.

But, instead, the blonde just gave him a little smile and a tilt of his head in acknowledgement, before ducking into the classroom he was standing outside of.

Just like that, he was gone.

Stunned by this turn of events, Cyrus couldn’t move.

Maybe… just a small part of him… hoped that T.J. would try and talk to him.

But, he supposed this was for the best. And T.J. kept his promise to give him space.

Cyrus asked for this.

The bell rang, jolting him out of his reverie. He forced his legs to move, running down the hall to his classroom. He arrived just in the nick of time as his History teacher had also just reached the classroom.

Under his desk, he secretly opened his phone to type out a quick text message.

Thank you.

He debated adding more but decided against it and sent the text to T.J.

A minute or two passed before a response arrived.

It was a single smile emoji and nothing else.

Cyrus wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed.

[anarcoqueer1994]

Please Don't Go: Chapter 3

Another chapter in my post costume day fic. I will be posting another chapter of my Trans Tarty story soon. Let me know if you want to be on a tag list for either.

Yesterday had been one of the best days Cyrus has had in a long time. TJ, his sweet, oblivious, gorgeous boyfriend, took him on a real date. They even held hands...in public! As he lays in bed, letting the morning sun shine on him from his window, it's all he can think about. He can't believe anyone could care about him so much.

Every wall TJ has ever put up, he let Cyrus tear down. He even let Cyrus help him with his fear of thunder. He knows how proud TJ could be so Cyrus knew that this was a big deal. In fact, anytime TJ let Cyrus see his vulnerable side, he knew it was a big deal. He could not get over how happy TJ made him feel. TJ captivated Cyrus with everything he did.

He picks up his phone and stares at a text from last night. It had started storming again around 11pm, and without a second thought he had sent TJ the playlist from the museum with a short note.

Cyrus:

"Songs That Make Me Think of TJ"

In case you need this <3

TJ:

Thanks Underdog.

TJ:

Can I FaceTime you? I kind of rather hear your voice…

TJ:

You don't have to though. I'm sorry.

Cyrus:

Don't be sorry. Of course you can.

Moments later, he got a video call. That's how they spent the next few hours, with TJ under a blanket with headphones on, just listening to Cyrus talking about anything to block out the the thunder rumbling outside their windows.

Cyrus keeps smiling as he sits up in bed to get ready for the day. He blushes to himself as he thinks about TJ's cute text. He actually said he wanted to hear Cyrus' voice. Cyrus can't help but gush over TJ. How could he be so lucky?  He considers sending a good morning text to TJ but decides against it. He knows his boyfriend likes to sleep in most weekend mornings and really does not want to bother him. So he throws on his clothes and gets ready for the day.

**********

After breakfast, Andi had called Cyrus to see if he wanted to hang out with her, Amber, Buffy, Jonah, and Marty. They were going to spend the day at Andi's, maybe watch some movies and order pizza. Of course he accepted, but part of him was a bit disappointed that he couldn't invite TJ. Obviously with the exception of Amber, none of them liked TJ. They only tolerated TJ at school because he was Cyrus' friend.

Cyrus actually feels really guilty towards TJ. He wishes his friends would be kinder to the older boy. He sees the way they shoot him looks; he is not blind. He knows they are being protective, but he does not need babysitters, he needs friends  When they are all hanging out together, he tries to ignore those looks and focus his energy towards TJ. Most of the time he gives him gentle, apologetic smiles to counteract his friends' negativity. He never wants TJ to feel bad and he hates that his friends are part of the reason he may. Even Andi, who has a crush on TJ's big sister, won't let up on him.

One of the things that stuns Cyrus the most about TJ, is he doesn't complain about the way the GHC(and friends) treat him. Cyrus would understand if he did. They could be terrible towards him. He is a little worried that he is doing that so Cyrus won't feel bad. He knows his boyfriend always puts Cyrus' feelings before his own. He does this to a fault.

On more than one occasion, Cyrus has run into TJ at school, and noticed how sad the basketball player was. Whenever he asks about it, TJ promises that it is nothing, and puts on a big beautiful smile but Cyrus can see how the smile doesn't reach those green eyes. Cyrus knows that when TJ is truly happy, that happiness radiates from his entire face, like yesterday when he stared at Cyrus talking about every dinosaur in the museum. He can't believe how TJ could make him feel like he was the only one that mattered.

That is the problem though; TJ did not treat himself like he mattered. That's why Cyrus is convinced there is something happening at school that TJ is not telling him. He does not know what to do because he doesn't want a push him to talk though. One thing that is for sure, his friends are not making whatever it is better.

***********

In the early afternoon, he starts heading towards Andi's. It is mid November but it had been pretty warm, so he did not expect it to be that cold. He is only wearing a light button down. It's a little chilly when he gets outside but not cold enough to go back inside and grab a jacket.

Boy, did he regret that decision. By the time he reached Mainstreet, the wind picked up and he was shivering. He walks past the little supermarket on the corner when he spots a familiar tuff of dirty blonde hair. The older boy is examining some apples on a stand outside the store, trying to pick out the right ones. He doesn't notice Cyrus sneaking up behind him. Cyrus stands on his tiptoes and whispers "Boo" into the TJ's ear.

TJ spins around around and smiles as he sees Cyrus. Cyrus takes a moment to absorb how cute TJ looks right now. He does not have his hair done up with the usual copious amounts of gel. Cyrus likes it better this way. He likes the way little strands of hair fall on TJ's forehead. It reminds him of the night at the park when they first got together. He is wearing a pair of faded jeans with his blue basketball team hoodie, and a jean jacket over that. Cyrus thinks he can stare at TJ all day. He reminds himself that he should speak though.

"Hey Teej." He flashed the other boy a smile.

"Hey Underdog." *TJ fought everything inside him that wanted to pull Cyrus in for a hug. He couldn't help it. Every time he saw Cyrus, he wanted to touch him, even if it just to hold his hand.

"So what are you doing today?" Cyrus immediately feels dumb asking. Obviously TJ was shopping.

"Just picking up some things for my mom. We are going to bake some apple pie flavored muffins tonight."

"Bake? I didn't know you liked to bake."

"What can I say, Cy? I have layers." He laughs softly before continuing."It's kind of a thing my mom and I do together when it is just us. Dad is working 2nd at work tonight and Amber is going to be at Andi's for some movie night. I'm guessing that's where you're heading, right?

Cyrus nods his head slightly. He still feels bad going, knowing TJ was not invited. He really wants to hang out with his friends, but he also wants them to see TJ like he does. TJ was genuinely a sweet boy, albeit misguided at times. He has worked so hard to let the good come through. God, was he proud of TJ.

As if TJ could read his mind, he says kindly "Enjoy your friends tonight Cy, I'm okay. I promise."

"I just...I just think you deserve to be seen for who you really are…" Cyrus wants to say more but a small gust of wind blows, sending shivers through his body.

TJ notices Cyrus shivering from the cool fall air because of course he does. He notices everything about Cyrus. He slips off his jacket before pulling the hoodie up over his head. He puts back on the jacket and then hand Cyrus his hoodie. "Put this on, it's cold. I don't want you getting sick."

Cyrus cannot bring himself to argue with TJ. Plus he is pretty cold, so he welcomes the idea of warmth. The smaller boy slips it over his body. He likes the way that it smells. It smells citrus-y, just like TJ. He is not sure if it is the soap TJ uses or what, but whenever they are close together, he swears TJ smells like lemons. He takes a second to inhale the scent from the piece of clothing.

TJ blushes as he looks at Cyrus in his hoodie. The sleeves are too long and the hoodie is too big for his small frame, but TJ thinks he is adorable. Something about his boyfriend wearing his hoodie makes him feel so pleased. He always sees other sports players' girlfriends in their hoodies and letterman jackets. So giving Cyrus his hoodie felt so right. He says quietly "You look good in my hoodie...I think you should keep it for a while."

Cyrus' face is bright red at this point. He has to remind himself not to do anything to give them away. He settles on a soft smile as a response. TJ lets out a quiet laugh before saying "Better get going, Muffin. Text me later?"

"Yes of course." Cyrus says before turning around to head out. TJ's eyes linger on Cyrus a little longer before going back to what he is doing.

The rest of the way to Andi’s, Cyrus is smiling like an idiot. He can’t really explain why TJ has this effect on him, but he does. He pulled the hood over his head so he could literally be surrounded by TJ’s scent. He wants fill his entire world with this smell. It makes him feel like he is not alone, like TJ is with him, even when he is not.

Before long, he arrives at Andi’s front door. He forces himself to put on a nonchalant face before knocking. Andi comes to the door and lets him in. “Cyrus, took you long enough.” She laughs as she holds the door open.

By the looks of it, he is the last one to arrive. When he walks into the living room, Marty and Buffy are on the ground in front of the couch, talking about something that Cyrus really has no interest in. Jonah is on the chair in the corner, while Amber is on the couch next to an empty spot that Cyrus assumes is Andi’s. Cyrus takes a seat on the floor and faces the rest of the group.

“Hey Cyrus” Buffy says taking her attention away from Marty for a second. Her greeting is echoed throughout the room. Cyrus looks around at his friends. He loves them all so much and they are so wonderful to him. He tries not to let them see him frown as his mind drifts back to TJ. They all go back to what they were previously doing.

It is Amber who ends up interrupting his thoughts. “Hey, isn’t that my brother’s hoodie?” All the eyes suddenly turned to look him.

Crap. He forgot to take it off before he came in. He has to come up with a good cover. “Yea, I saw him on the way over here. I forgot my coat and I was really cold. I asked him if I could borrow his hoodie since he had a jacket. Honestly, it was pretty dumb of me to leave the house without a coat…”’

Buffy rolls her eyes. “Wow, TJ actually did something nice for you for once. Don’t get used to it.”

Cyrus didn’t know what to say, he did not want to give away too much and he knew he had to be careful what he said. Luckily, he did not have to worry about that right now because Amber piped up.

“Hey, I know you guys don’t like him but that is still my little brother so be nice.”

Buffy rolled her eyes even harder. Cyrus knew Buffy wasn’t Amber’s biggest fan either so he did not know if she would listen. For now though, Buffy seems to have dropped it. Jonah, ever spacey to what is going on around him, says “So when is the pizza going to be here? I am starving.” The room laughs and he just shrugs his shoulders.

**************

Cyrus should have known that Buffy was not going to drop the TJ stuff permanently. It was not long after the pizza arrived that she started at it again.

"I don't get it Cyrus, why are you still friends with that guy? I mean, he is not..."

Marty interrupts her. "Buffy, if he wants to be friends with him, isn't that his business, not ours?" Cyrus has never been more thankful for Marty.

She shoots back at him. "Cyrus is my best friend and it is my business when some jerk isn't worth being his friend." Andi nods is agreement.

Cyrus doesn't know what comes over him but he stands up and says louder than intended "Don't call him that! He is not just some jerk. He is a really great guy. And you know what else? He is so considerate and sweet. You don't know anything about him, Buffy. So just stop.

Everyone is quiet for a moment. They are all shocked by his outburst of assertiveness. To be honest, Cyrus was shocked by it too. He looks around at his friends' stunned faces waiting for someone to do something. Buffy takes a deep breath and stands up to be face to face with Cyrus.

"Cy, do you still like TJ?" She says in a quiet, understanding, voice. Cyrus doesn't know how to answer. In reality, he wants to just tell them all the truth. He wants them to know that he doesn't just like TJ but TJ likes him too. More than that, TJ  is his boyfriend. He wants to tell them all how happy TJ makes him, how even now, in this tense situation, his boyfriend's scent, enveloping him in the form of a hoodie, helps him feel stronger.

"I need some air, okay?" He manages to choke out. He knows Buffy wants to push more but he is grateful that she doesn't. He gets out of the living room and into the backyard.

He really doesn't know what to. His head is spinning as he sits down on the bench. Why is this so hard? Being with TJ is so easy. Why can't telling people be this easy? He knows it is not his right to out TJ so telling his friends now is not an option.

He really doesn't want to bother TJ tonight. After all, he is spending his night baking with his mom. But it is as if his fingers have a mind of their own.

Cyrus:

I don't know what to do.

TJ:

What is happening? Are you okay, muffin?

Cyrus:

Yea, I'm okay. It's just, I screamed at Buffy. She just called you a jerk and I lost my temper. Then she asked if I still had a crush on you and I panicked, and now I am outside like an idiot.

TJ:

Cyrus, I'm so sorry...I hate that you are feeling bad.

Cyrus:

I wish you were here

After that text, Cyrus does not hear anything. He hopes he did not weird TJ out by being too clingy. He is kicking himself for being so dumb. He sits outside for another 30 minutes and he is glad his friends let him be. He keeps staring at his phone in case TJ texts him back.

He finally collects himself enough to head back in and face his friends. He does not know what he is going to say but he will figure it out.

He walks back through the back doors to the living room. He is still lost in his thoughts so he barely notices his surroundings. He is not even looking up because he does not want to meet his friends' eyes. That’s why he is caught off-guard when he hears an unexpected voice say "Hey Underdog..."

Cyrus' voice catches in his throat. He can barely believe who he is hearing. He looks up from the ground to meet TJ's eyes. Then he quickly looks around at his friends who all look as confused as he is. He goes back to TJ's eyes. "You actually came..." Cyrus thinks back to the last text he sent.

"Of course, I came." TJ beams at the younger boy. TJ had shown up a few minutes prior. Andi had answered the door. She was not expecting him but let him in anyways. He was just about to head outside to look for Cyrus. TJ continues to stare into Cyrus' eyes. They are in their own world again. Cyrus feels his heart flutter in his chest. TJ dropped everything to be here for him. How could he be so lucky?

As usual, Buffy is the first to break the silence. "Okay, what is going on between you two?"

Cyrus bites his bottom lip and silently asks TJ with his facial expressions for permission to say out loud what he wants to say to his friends. TJ nods his head slowly and Cyrus feels a weight lift off his shoulders. He mouths "Thank you."  Without removing his eyes from TJ, he says in a shaky voice "TJ is my...boyfriend." He feels it get harder to breathe as his chest restricts. He knows that this is also difficult for TJ but once again, TJ puts Cyrus' feelings first.

Everyone in the room stares in shock at the two boys.No one quite knows what to say. The air is thick and Cyrus could practically cut the tension with a knife. Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees everyone's faces. Buffy, Andi, and Jonah all have mirrored looks of surprise on their face. Marty looks kind of clueless, which Cyrus expected.

But it is Amber he appreciates the most right now. She is smiling over at her brother. TJ is so focused on Cyrus, that he doesn't notice her but Cyrus does. He is so thankful that someone else really cares for TJ. He focuses his attention back to his boyfriend. As soon as sees his face, he melts. TJ is practically glowing as he smiles at Cyrus.

TJ steps closer to Cyrus. He moves so he is at Cyrus' side, grabbing his hand. He squeezes his hand gently, urging Cyrus to continue on. He clears his throat and begins to talk, this time in a way more confident voice.

"TJ and I started dating a month ago yesterday. It’s been the best month of my life. He even took me to the Natural History Museum yesterday, on like a real date.  TJ treats me like I'm important."

TJ interjects "Because you are important, muffin." He blushes when he realizes he said that out loud. Cyrus smiles even bigger. He runs his thumb over TJ's knuckles. Buffy looks like she is going to laugh at the overly cutesy nickname but Cyrus shoots her a look that makes her reconsider.

Andi steps up closer to the boys. She looks hesitant at first but then gives a small, nervous smirk. "That explains a lot...but I still don't get it. " She turns her head to TJ. "Why did you abandon Cyrus on costume day?" Cyrus goes to speak but TJ interrupts him. "It’s okay, Underdog... I want to be open with your friends..."

He pulls Cyrus to the couch so that they are sitting against each other. Their fingers are still laced together. The other kids sit down too, getting ready to listen. He takes a deep breathe. “It was Kira…she figured out I liked Cyrus…a lot. She had come up to me to ask about being on the boy’s team, and I turned her down. Cyrus had come up, and she seen how we interacted. At the time I was oblivious to how obvious I was about liking Cyrus. She made me feel bad for wanting to do a costume with a boy. She made it seem like people would know I was…gay if I did. It was dumb, I know. I was dumb. I understand why you all hate me, because I hated me after what I did. I kind of still do.” Cyrus looks at TJ with sad eyes. It kills him that TJ feels this badly about himself. He tries to focus on the rest of what the boy has to say.  “Cyrus deserves the best and it makes me so happy to know that you care for him so much.”

Buffy looks so angry. Cyrus is afraid of what she is about to say. He does not want her to still hate TJ. She spits out “How could she do that?! Oh god, I am so sorry, guys. I kicked her off the girls team, and she went after my friends…I can’t believe her! I’m sorry for the way we have been treating you, TJ.” She pause and thinks about something. She laughs to herself. “Who would've thought a year ago, I would be apologizing to you?”

TJ laughs back. "It's fine, you were only protecting Cyrus...I would of done the same thing."

Jonah chimes in. "So is Kira still bothering you, man?"

TJ gets quiet and Cyrus feels him tense against him. Cyrus turns to face TJ. "Wait...TJ is she? Is she doing anything to you?"

"It's nothing, I promise…"

"Teej, don't lie to me...please tell me. I see you sometimes at school, looking so sad. I never want to push you to talk when you are not ready, but it is breaking my heart knowing that someone is making you that upset. "

TJ looks around at the room. Marty speaks up "Look, if I know anything about this group of people, they will all go above and beyond for their friends, and that includes standing with them when someone is giving them trouble.” Buffy looks behind her at Marty and smiles.

Cyrus squeezes TJ’s hand and pleads with him. “Baby, please tell me if something is happening.”

TJ feels so vulnerable right now. He has worked so hard for the past month to hide this from Cyrus. He hates putting so much on the brunnette. Cyrus has already done so much for him, he really did not want to add to that. But now, here he is with his big brown eyes peering through TJ. The way Cyrus called him baby made his breath catch in his throat. Cyrus literally could make him putty in his hands. TJ could not possibly hide anything from him now.

He tries to keep his voice calm and as detached as possible. He does not want to come off as too emotional over this. “It’s really not that important. She just says some mean things sometimes…”  TJ tries to look anywhere but back at Cyrus. But it is no use. Everywhere in the room he looks, he sees a pair of concerned eyes looking at him.

Cyrus says tenderly “TJ, what kind of mean things does she say? “

“Just...just like..umm things to remind me that I’ different. She likes to point out how unfortunate it would be if my secret got out. She is right though, this is a small town and not everyone is that accepting.But  like she is threatening me for the fun of it. But she doesn’t have any proof so I think that is why she hasn’t outed me...us. Oh and sometimes she brings up cute girls in front of my teammates and asks me what I think about them.I  think she just wants to embarrass me. She gets some sick pleasure out of making people feel small. Or like...on Friday, she noticed I was struggling in math so she started basically calling me stupid. I did not even turn in anything to Coleman…” TJ was rambling and he was starting to speak faster. Cyrus could see how upset he was getting.

Cyrus pulled TJ into a hug, squeezing him tight, in an attempt to push away any hurt TJ was feeling. Cyrus was so beyond angry. How could Kira be so cruel? He never wants to see TJ hurting.especially when that hurt was caused by a senseless reason. Kira was a bully and for some reason, TJ was her target. It just wasn’t fair.

Cyrus could tell that TJ was getting uncomfortable around all these people. He knew TJ was trying to hold himself together and put on a strong face for them. As he hugged TJ, he whispered “Wanna go to the swings?” TJ  nods slightly as a response.

Both boys let go of each other as they go to stand up. “We are going to go, okay?” Cyrus gives them all a weak smile. Everyone understand and bids their farewells. Right before TJ walks out the door, Buffy grabs his arm. “Hey, you know we got your back, okay? We will figure out a way to handle Kira.” TJ gives her a little smile. “Thanks, Driscoll.”

*************

It's about 6:30 when they get to the swingset. The sun is starting to set, and the park is pretty empty. TJ likes it that way. Now it can be just him and Cyrus. He takes a seat on the swing next to Cyrus’. “Hey Cy?”

“Yea?”

“I am glad we told your friends… 

“Me too...but can I ask you something?” The shorter boy asks meekly.

“Anything, Muffin.”

“Why did you change your mind about telling them? Was it just for me?”

“Well part of it was for you..” The blond says honestly. “But part of it was for me too. I was kind of hoping that...they could be my friends too. I know that sounds pretty lame but sometimes  I get jealous of anyone who has friends. Besides you, I don’t really have any.”

“That is not lame, not lame at all. And I think after tonight, you have a huge group of friends.”

Tj smiles at the thought of that. He clears his throat to continue speaking. “I really am sorry for not telling you about Kira. I just did not want you to worry.”

Cyrus looks around for anyone who may be watching. They might have come out to their friends but neither of them are ready to come out to anyone else. Their friends are pretty understanding people, but Shadyside could be kind of conservative. Not every kid, or even adult would be so kind to them. When Cyrus is sure they are alone, he twists in his swing to face TJ. He grabs the other boy’s hand.

“Teej, it is my job to worry about you. It is part of the whole boyfriend deal.. Think about it, You would want me to tell you if something was happening to me, right?”

“Yeah, of course!” *TJ says almost matter of factly.

“Well I feel the same way. Kira doesn’t get to bully my boyfriend and get away with it, you understand?” Cyrus says in a very controlled voice.

TJ nods.How could he be so dumb to believe that Cyrus wouldn’t want to hear about his problems, about his bully. God. He does not understand how Cyrus does it  He already thought Cyrus was attractive, but he has never looked cuter than right now. TJ took in the image in front of him. Cyrus’ face looked so confident as he spoke about standing up for his boyfriend. Adding to that, Cyrus was still in TJ’s hoodie. The sleeves were pushed up slightly and the hood was draped down the top of Cyrus’ back.

TJ reaches for one of the strings hanging from the hoodie, and plays with it as Cyrus stops talking and looks at him. TJ’s green eyes meet  Cyrus’ brown. He bites the bottom of his lip as he notices Cyrus’ eyes flicker down to his lips. He stands up from his swing and steps closer to the other one. As he stands over Cyrus, he leans down and cups the bottom of Cyrus’ chin with on hand as his lips press against the other boy’s.

It is like the world stopped spinning around them. TJ has never felt more connected to another person in whole entire life. He could stay like this for hours, if only he did not have to breathe. When they break apart, TJ goes back to his swing and sits. They spend the next few minutes in blissful silence, both of them lost in their own happy thoughts.

Unfortunately, neither boy realizes they were not alone in the park. Come tomorrow, their whole worlds are going to change.

@abg-blah

[thirteen-beaxhes]

‘Everything is Red” - Chapter 1: Oceanside Motel

Summary:

“Cyrus Goodman and TJ Kippen weren’t desperate by any means, they just happened to find comfort in old, run-down motels where people wouldn’t dare come looking for them. There was no particular reason for this - or so they would tell you. Faded motels just had a certain charm about them, Cyrus would say with one of his naturally bright smiles.”

~

The fall of 2006 finds TJ and Cyrus on the run from the law, seeking the highs associated with risk wherever they can and maybe even learning a thing or two about love and the inevitability of fate.

Warnings for this chapter:

~Depictions of violence, death and crime (not graphic)

~Gun usage

ALL LINKS ( AO3+PROLOGUE) IN THE REBLOG

~~~~~~

As the night drew on slowly, the dark blue sky gradually fading into a pitch black, Cyrus tried his best to focus his attention on the stars, taking solace in their beauty. It's something he had always done when he felt overwhelmed, and that moment was no different. He looked out of the small car window, counting the stars, as if that would ease his state of mind. He had opened the window, the cold night wind against his face both comforting and centring him. If he kept his eyes focused on the sky outside, he could make himself forget everything that had just happened. God knew he needed it at that moment.

“Cyrus, babe. Are you awake?” TJ asked, taking the opportunity of an empty road ahead to look at the other man.

Cyrus gave no indication of having heard him, keeping his arms crossed and eyes trained outside. He shut his eyes forcibly, attempting to block out TJ’s voice. He was the one person Cyrus did not want to interact with at the moment.

TJ saw Cyrus’ reaction and sighed, running his hand through his hair in exhaustion. He turned back towards the road with a sigh. With one hand on the steering wheel, he pulled out the bag of chips they had got from the vending machine at Palace Motel and held it out to Cyrus.

“Come on, at least eat something.”

Still silence. TJ took a deep breath, trying to keep a cool head and said, “Please just take it. I have another packet for myself. We should be reaching in another hour or two, okay?”

Without saying a word, Cyrus reached over and took the chip packet, cringing a bit at the noise it made on opening. With all the panic and adrenaline, he hadn't realised how hungry he actually was. That is, until, the saltiness of the chips melting in his mouth made him have to hold back a sigh of happiness. While he was still absolutely furious with TJ, he appreciated the thought.

TJ just looked at Cyrus, his heart twisting a bit, knowing that he had really screwed up. Cyrus really was mad at him - for very good reason. Back in the motel, TJ hadn't thought about what he was doing until he had done it, until the body had hit the floor. But he steadied his breathing and tried to focus on the road ahead, reassuring himself that he had to do it. He was just protecting them. He didn't have much of a choice. And Cyrus knew that.

He did, right?

*

For its promising name, you would expect Oceanside Motel to have a view of the sea, maybe even access to a beach. At the very least, you’d expect it to actually be beside an ocean. However, the motel to which TJ and Cyrus arrived was far from that image. The waterbody next to the motel was more like a dirty pond with stagnant, dead water. Any life form would have quit it in days. But it would have to do. It was just a temporary stop, a refuge for the night. It would be just another place the next morning.

“What’s our story this time? College students doing a road trip? Backpacking friends? A travelling couple?” asked TJ as the car pulled to a stop before the motel.

“Surprise me. It’s something you’re good at,” Cyrus muttered angrily, not even trying to conceal his feelings.

As Cyrus pulled out one of their many IDs from the bag, TJ grabbed his arm, forcing Cyrus to look at him properly for the first time since they shook off the cops.

“We’re gonna have to act as if we can actually stand each other. Do you think you can do that?” TJ asked, his voice gentle, but hints of annoyance were starting to show.

“Oh, don’t worry about me,” Cyrus said flashing a fake smile at TJ as he pulled his arm away. “I’m a great actor.” With that, Cyrus got out of the car, leaving behind TJ who took a deep breath, resting his head on the back of the car seat in growing frustration. He ran his hand through his hair in an effort to compose himself, before opening the car door and catching up with Cyrus, putting his arm around his shoulder.

They walked up to the main desk, where a middle-aged woman smiled warmly at them and checked them in. All the while they spoke, TJ had his arm around Cyrus’ shoulders, just smiling as Cyrus did all the talking.

“What brings you lovely men to Oceanside Motel so late in the night?” she asked with no suspicion in her voice, just natural curiosity.

“Oh, it’s a funny story, actually. We were supposed to travel further, but someone here decided that burgers and fries would be a good idea to spend 2 hours on,” Cyrus said with a laugh, bumping TJ in the chest.

The woman laughed along, turning back to reach for the keys to their room. “Well, I do hope you enjoy your stay here. It isn’t much, but I try my best.”

“Well, with someone as amazing as you, I’m sure we’re in good hands,” Cyrus said, winking at the woman as he took the keys from her.

“Thank you,” Cyrus and TJ said as they left the blushing woman to head to their room, their smiles and happy demeanour fading to exhaustion and frustration with each step.

They opened the door to their room, Cyrus dumping his bag on the counter as he collapsed onto the chair near the television. TJ sat on the bed, staring at Cyrus, expecting him to say something. But Cyrus had no intentions of initiating a conversation.

Eventually, he groaned and, head in his hands, TJ said, “Cyrus. You can't do this forever.”

“What are you talking about?” Cyrus replied, his voice curt.

“What is it? Why are you acting like this?”

“Oh, really? Like you don't know why I'm angry right now.”

TJ sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, I know what I did was rash and impulsive.”

“We could have gotten away without having to kill him!”

“How do you know that?” TJ said while standing up, his voice growing louder and louder. “He saw us, yeah? What if he described us to the cops?”

“Well, they very nearly got us anyway,” Cyrus said, his voice growing in volume too. He, too, got up and starting moving towards TJ.

“I had to do it. You know I had to.”

“No, you didn't. But of course, you did it anyway, because you’re impulsive and you don't think anything through. In fact, if you ever did, I’m pretty sure it’d kill you.”

“I did it for us, okay? Do you think I wanted to kill him? But I had to do it. I was protecting us!” TJ yelled back, turning away from Cyrus, hand on his forehead.

Cyrus scoffed at that, taking another step towards TJ. “Protecting us?”

TJ’s head lifted, turning to Cyrus, shocked into silence by Cyrus’ tone. Cyrus took another step towards him, his voice quiet, his eyes narrowed.

“Like you did when we were 17?”

*

6 years ago

“Honestly, at this point, you should get a medal for somehow managing to sneak out of the house every night,” Cyrus whispered, laughing quietly as TJ jumped out of his window to the ground.

“Well, years of practice manage to make it easier,” TJ whispered back, jogging up to Cyrus and pulling him in for a quick kiss. With only streetlights illuminating their surroundings, Cyrus’ face was lit by a soft glow, his smile warming TJ’s heart. A very welcome warmth that TJ could very much use more of.

“Shall we?” TJ asked, holding out his elbow to Cyrus.

“We shall,” Cyrus replied, grabbing onto it, leaning in first to give TJ a kiss on the cheek.

As they walked down the silent streets, the cold night air on their faces felt like a comfort, a reprieve from their lives. Their hands were entwined as they talked about nothing in particular. After a while, Cyrus looked up at TJ, curious.

“How’s Amber doing? Heard she was having a rough time after the thing with her and Andi,” Cyrus asked, stopping.

“She’s holding up as well as you’d expect,” TJ replied, looking down as he spoke. He could still hear Amber’s quiet, muffled sobs as he had crawled out of the window to meet Cyrus. He had even gone to her room to check on her, saying he could tell Cyrus to come the next day, but Amber wouldn’t have any of it.

“Go out there and meet your boyfriend, you idiot,” Amber had whispered in a broken voice. “Besides, I should probably get it together and sleep. Wouldn’t want dad hearing me now, would I?” she said with a hollow laugh and a quiet sniffle as she pushed TJ out of her room.

“Shit,” Cyrus whispered. “That sucks.”

“Yeah,” TJ said with a sigh. “How’s Andi?”

“I don’t know. She wouldn’t let me or Buffy in. Pretty sure she’s crafting herself to death.”

“God.”

“Yeah.”

They walked in silence for a while, the conversation having hit a low. Cyrus looked ahead, spotting a 7/11 ahead of them. He grabbed TJ’s hand tighter, his face breaking out in a big smile as he pulled him forward.

“Cy, baby,” TJ said, laughing at his sudden enthusiasm. “What are you doing?”

“Come on,” Cyrus whined, looking back at TJ as he dragged him along. “I’m in the mood for slushies.”

“And where do you have the money for it?”

Cyrus just reached into his pocket pulling out a wallet, a smirk on his face. TJ’s face, however, fell as concern came over his eyes.

“Cyrus, where did you..?”

“I’ve been saving up,” Cyrus cut in, reassuring TJ. “And maybe, I did take some from my mum.”

“Cyrus!”

“What? It isn’t so much that she’d notice,” Cyrus defended. “Not that she notices anything I do,” he added in a low mutter, almost inaudible to TJ.

TJ rolled his eyes, still unconvinced. Cyrus sighed, wrapping his arms around TJ’s neck.

“Come on. Let’s just not think about our shitty home lives and let me just enjoy a slushy and some time with my boyfriend,” he said, leaning in to give TJ a quick peck on the lips.

TJ eventually smiled, leaning in for another kiss, before grabbing Cyrus’ hand and walking into the 7/11.

10 minutes later, armed with two slushies, Cyrus and TJ walked out of the store, laughing as they continued down the street, away from the busier part of their neighbourhood. As they strolled down the street, TJ pulled Cyrus back by the hand, pulling him in for a kiss under the streetlights. Cyrus smiled into it, sighing contentedly as he wrapped his arms around TJ’s neck. Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

“Well, well, well. Isn’t this touching?”

The voice cut through the dimly lit street, causing the two to pull away from each other. Cyrus felt his heart drop into a pit in his stomach, extremely familiar with the voice that had just spoken. TJ looked at Cyrus in concern, turning to face the direction where the voice had come from.

“Who’s there? Who is it?” TJ asked, stepping forward.

“Ouch, Cyrus. Not even a mention? I’m hurt. Especially after everything we’d been through,” the voice said, coming closer. A boy roughly TJ’s height walked into the light. He had dark hair and brown eyes, a smirk on his face. And in his hand was a pistol.

“What do you want, Lester?” Cyrus said, trying to seem strong, but his voice was shaky and small. He kept his eyesight down, desperately trying to avoid looking the other boy in the eyes.

“Oh, nothing,” Lester said, walking closer to the pair, twirling the pistol in his hand. TJ looked down at Cyrus, shocked to see him so tense and almost frightened. He reached out to hold Cyrus’ hand, but Cyrus pushed it away, stepping behind TJ. TJ was all the more concerned, but now, looking back and forth between Cyrus’ terrified eyes and Lester’s sly and cunning smirk, he felt something else.

Rage. Burning rage.

“What do you want with us?” TJ asked, his voice tight as he tried to control his boiling anger, trying to keep a calm appearance for Cyrus’ sake.

Lester laughed mockingly, the sound grating against TJ’s ears like nails on a chalkboard. He tried to keep his breathing even, stepping in front of Cyrus towards Lester.

“I just wanted to see Cyrus,” Lester said, his eyes gleaming. “Is that so wrong?” he asked, pouting.

“What if I don’t want to see you?” Cyrus asked, his voice still shaky as he looked up at Lester for the first time, immediately regretting that decision when he saw the satisfied look on his face.

“Now, you know that isn’t true Cy,” Lester said, laughing. “Cuz if it was, you two would have walked away from me by now.”

Cyrus scoffed weakly. Making a decision, he grabbed TJ’s hand and said, “You’re right. That’s what we’re gonna do. Come on, TJ,” he said, pulling TJ in the opposite direction.

However, as soon as they turned to walk away, they heard the unmistakable cocking of a gun and froze. Slowly, TJ turned around, followed by Cyrus to see that Lester was holding up the pistol. And his aim was straight at TJ’s head.

“I wouldn’t move if I were you,” Lester sneered, his grip tightening on the trigger.

TJ was shocked into immobility, staring right into the barrel. Cyrus, however, was outraged.

“Are you out of your fucking mind, Lester? What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Oh Cyrus,” Lester laughed bitterly. “I’ve missed you. You know, when we were together, I did nothing but love you. And you just left me like trash.”

“Whatever it was, that wasn’t love,” Cyrus said, his voice barely louder than a whisper. “You were horrible to me.”

Lester sighed, pointing forward with the pistol. “You know, that was always your problem. Seeing the worst in everything I did. I was the bad guy. When all I wanted was for you to be mine, what was best for you. But you left me, after everything I did for you. And all for him,” Lester said, so close he pushed the barrel of the gun into TJ’s forehead. Cyrus held his breath, trying to be brave, but his heart was beating erratically at the uncertainty of the situation.

Lester laughed at Cyrus’ terrified expression. “Can’t believe you’re still so weak. Oh well, this ought to toughen you up,” he said, holding the gun up to TJ’s head much to Cyrus’ dismay. Lester took one last look at Cyrus.

“Cuz you see, Cyrus? I’m the only person who can ever truly get into your head.”

That sentence hit Cyrus hard as tears stood still in his eyes. Because it was true. Even after all those months, after everything that had happened, Lester still had Cyrus’ mind and heart in his hand, controlling it as he saw fit, still making Cyrus doubt everything. So he just closed his eyes, flinching away from the inevitable as he heard the ‘click’ of the gun. He was prepared for what was going to happen, for Lester to scare them and walk away, leaving their relationship in pieces around him.

But he could never have predicted what actually happened.

It all felt like a blur, but it also felt like time had come to a standstill. All Cyrus knew was that one second, Lester had his gun to TJ’s head, his mocking laugh echoing in Cyrus’ ears, and the next, there was a gunshot and he was on the ground, motionless. And TJ stood over him, gun in his hand, his finger still on the trigger.

Cyrus’ eyes went wide as his heart rate accelerated, his breathing growing shallow. Cyrus’ hand went involuntarily to his throat, his surroundings growing exceedingly dull. He stepped back a few steps, stumbling over his own feet, as he desperately tried to tear his eyes away. But he couldn’t.

“What did you do?” Cyrus wanted to scream, but the words were stuck in his throat and no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t produce a sound.

TJ’s breathing was growing heavy, still clutching the gun in his hand as he looked around, trying to see if anyone had seen them. Luckily, the streets seemed deserted, and in their neighbourhood, gunshot noises were as common as crickets chirping. He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes wild. Finally, he turned around to look at Cyrus, and Cyrus, still in shock, looked back at him.

“Cyrus,” TJ whispered, his voice shaky and anxious. “Cyrus, we have to do something. We can’t leave him here,” he said, gesturing down, his mannerisms conveying desperation.

“No, no,” Cyrus whispered, moving away from TJ, shaking his head. The world seemed to sway and tilt around him, his feet unsteady.

“Cyrus,” TJ said, grabbing Cyrus’ shoulders, forcing him to look at him. “I know you’re scared and in shock. I am too, believe me. But we can’t stay here. If they find us,” TJ started, his voice cracking, as he brought up a hand to wipe his mouth, fear evident in his eyes.

Cyrus gulped, his mouth dry, as he tried to get his thoughts to just stop. He looked at Lester’s body for the first time, and suddenly, it was as if he was on autopilot. He took the gun from TJ’s hand, wiping it of prints with his shirt, and dumped it in a dumpster in the nearby alleyway.

“Cyrus, what are you-” TJ started to ask confused, but Cyrus interrupted him.

“Help me carry him into the alley,” he said, his voice monotone, as if it wasn’t really him talking. TJ just looked at him and complied. The two of them carried Lester and placed him in the alley, hoping that when someone did find him, they would assume gang violence. A plausible enough situation for Lester, Cyrus thought bitterly. All the while as they cleaned up any evidence of them being there, Cyrus felt as if it wasn’t him doing all those things. It was as if he was above everything, watching himself clean up the slushy cups and remove fingerprints. He didn’t remember walking back to his house with TJ, the silence between them tense. He didn’t remember hugging TJ as tight as he could before he quietly crept into his house so as to not wake and anger his mother. He didn’t remember any of it and hoped that it meant that maybe, just maybe, it was all just a bad dream.

The only remnants of TJ and Cyrus on that street were the spilt liquid from their Blue Raspberry slushies, now tinged purple.

*

TJ was stunned into silence, taken aback at Cyrus’ words. The look of hurt on his face as the memories of 6 years ago came flooding back almost made Cyrus feel bad about bringing it up. Almost.

“I had no other choice. I was protecting us,” TJ said, his voice tense and low. His hands were balled into fists as he looked at Cyrus.

“And look where we are now,” Cyrus said, gesturing to their surroundings.

“He was an asshole, not just at that time. Even before that. He hurt you, Cy,” TJ said, his words tremulous.

“You don’t think I know that, better than anyone?” Cyrus said, stepping towards TJ. “But that doesn’t mean he deserved to die!” he said, dangerously close to yelling.

TJ looked out the window in alarm, before turning back towards Cyrus. “He was ready to shoot us that night!”

“He wouldn’t have done anything. It was just to scare us.”

“You don’t know that, do you?”

Cyrus tried to say something back, but he couldn’t find the words. Because the truth was, a part of Cyrus knew that it was very possible Lester would have hurt them that night. That one way or the other, all three of them wouldn’t have walked away from that street.

TJ took his silence as confirmation, “I knew it,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Cyrus turned around, his hand pressed to his forehead as he sank into the chair, a pounding headache making its presence known behind his temples.

“It still doesn’t justify what happened,” Cyrus said, barely audible.

“You don’t think I know that?” TJ asked, turning to Cyrus, now exasperated. “But what else could I have done? Just let him shoot me? Or worse, let him shoot you?”

“Well, we could have started with walking away from him!” Cyrus said, no longer in the mood to continue the argument. All he wanted to do was go to sleep, and preferably not look at or talk to TJ for the next 3 days.

“You know, sometimes,” TJ said, narrowing his eyes. “I can’t bear to be in the same room as you.”

Two can play that game, Cyrus thought to himself, looking up at TJ, his vision red. “Well, sometimes, I wish I never sneaked out of the house to meet you that night.”

TJ took a step closer, his breathing heavy, his fists balled. “Sometimes, you’re so whiny and annoying it drives me crazy,” he said, his words growing louder and louder.

“And sometimes, I can’t tell the difference between you and Lester!” Cyrus yelled.

TJ was taken aback, and he staggered backwards, his eyes wide in shock. Cyrus covered his mouth with his hand, tears in his eyes. He hadn’t meant that at all, aiming to just hurt TJ. But he had gone too far. Way too far. And now he couldn’t take it back.

Suddenly, a knock on the door made the two jump, Cyrus looking in horror at the door. Had someone heard what they had said?

TJ walked up to the door, slowly opening it. Cyrus came behind him, his heart in his throat.

“Hi. I just heard some yelling. Is everything okay?” It was the lady from the main desk, concern written all over her face. She gave no indication that she had heard anything that had just been said. He let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

“No, no. Everything’s fine,” TJ said, resting against the doorframe. “Just regular arguments, you know?”

“Oh yeah, I understand. Lovers’ spat, eh?” the woman said, laughing awkwardly.

“Something like that,” Cyrus said, giving a stiff chuckle.

After a moment of awkward silence, the lady clapped her hands together. “Anyway, thank god everything’s okay! I’ll leave you be now,” the lady said, giving a warm smile before walking away, TJ closing the door after she left.

After the lady had gone, the room fell back into a tense silence. Cyrus couldn’t bear to look TJ in the eyes, afraid of what he would see. Instead, he just walked over to the bed, taking a blanket and pillow, and moved to the chair, all in dead silence.

“Cyrus. I-” TJ started, his voice softer than before.

“Good night, TJ,” Cyrus said, his voice just a shaky whisper as he propped up the pillow on the chair and wrapped the blanket around him, closing his eyes to try and sleep. TJ looked like he wanted to say something more, but decided against it, simply nodding and getting into bed, turning off the lamp beside him.

A few minutes later, Cyrus opened his eyes. Seeing TJ fast asleep, he reached across to his bag, pulling out his camera. In the dim light of his lamp, he took a picture of TJ, wincing a bit at the noise the camera made. But after a few moments of no reaction, Cyrus was sure that TJ was fast asleep.

“I didn’t mean it,” Cyrus whispered, hoping against hope that TJ had heard him. But he couldn’t have. He sighed, putting away the camera, and tugged the blanket around him, shutting his eyes.

All he wanted right now was some rest.

~~~~~~

Hey guys, Smriti here. Hope you guys liked this chapter! (It was hard making Lester so bad but i had to do it)

Let me and Sarah know what you think!

[victorscanero]

New beginnings// chapter 19

Buffy being the captain of the basketball team managed to get the team to invite a lot of people “it's a 16th birthday party redo!” Amber said at an uninterested T.J “come on lighten up!” she pleaded grabbing a drink from the kitchen. T.J wanted to have fun but the lights and people he didn't know two minutes prior faking an interest in his birthday just to party is something T.J has never been interested in, nor did he ever have any expectation of being apart of such. But, here he was on his 17th birthday, watching his sister act like a mess. “Is that alcohol?” He gestured to the bottles on the table in the living room. already knowing the answers. Amber sat up, instantly as she was leaning against andi. “It's not mine!”  She defended. T.J scoffed. “I don't care. Amber it's in our house!” He shook his head “That's enough to get some 16 year old idiot who wants to look cool in front of his friends shit faced drunk and lizzy and Eli are right upstairs.” he scolded, the mention of lizzy making ambers face soften. “You of all people should know how stupid that shit is” he kept lecturing. “I wasn't thinking i-” “you never are.” He cut her off regretting it as soon as he said it but he ignored the guilt he felt and grabbed the bottles put them away until the party died down enough for him to pour them outside without being noticed. He made his way upstairs only being stopped a few times by people he didn't know and half of it he didn't even understand due to the volume of the overly popularized music blaring through the speakers.

“Hey where's T.J” cyrus said raising his voice so amber could hear him. “I don't know probably in hell because he's the devil” she slurred with her head on Andi's shoulder. Cyrus shook it off looked to Andi “I think he went to check on Elijah and lizzy” Andi said Cyrus nodded and began to walk upstairs to lizzy's room, when they weren't in there he guessed they were down stairs for that's where T.J usually hung out. When Cyrus opened door the door he instantly knew they were down there from the fits of laughter he heard he stayed at the bottom steps in view watching them stack legos until T.J turned around and they made eye contact. “Ditching your own party?” Cyrus asked. He found himself going completely soft at the sight of

T.J playing with Eli but he tried to push it aside.”I'm not a party guy, I assume you're not either?” He said getting up from the ground. “Not particularly. Especially when there is alcohol involved.” cyrus lightly laughed then worried it sounded too lame for the former star basketball player so he added “as lame as it sounds.” you’re not as lame if you realize it sounds lame, right? For a moment Cyrus thought he brushed off what he said because he walked over to the t.v and picked up a movie “is the little mermaid cool with you guys” he asked looking at Eli and lizzy. “NOOOO” they said at the same time “That's for kids” Elizabeth said making T.J sigh “fine Elizabeth, what do you want to watch?” She looked like she was thinking for a moment before saying “Halloween that scary movie you and Amber bought” she said. T.J looked like he was about to protest but ultimately agreed “fine” he turned on the movie and turned the lights off then made his way back to Cyrus. “Follow me” T.J whispered walking passed Cyrus. They walked through what looked to be an unfinished part of the basement until they got to a door. “ignore the mess of this side of the basement my mom is working on adding a bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom to it.” He said. Switching on the light to reveal what looked to be a bedroom in progress. “Seeing as this party is a bust we could just hang out here until the kids get scared and beg us to come hang out with them?” he said in the form of a question. “Sounds alright to me” cyrus said “now that i think of it besides age and hobbies I know nothing about you” he added “hm you’re right” T.J said pulling out his phone “we could do that question game where you pick a question from the chart and both people have to answer.” T.J said showing him the chart

“Hm sounds fun let's do it. Can we skip?” Cyrus asked “3 skips. you go first” he said. Cyrus looked through the chart and tried to find a not too deep question which backfired

“What's your relationship with your parents like?” Cyrus asked and saw T.J cringe “You can skip” Cyrus reminded him. T.J shook his head. “I'm not wasting my skips” T.J laughed “My mom is great and we're really close but i don't have a clue where my dad is.” He said easily. Cyrus had an apologetic look so T.J added. “It's fine i don't really care to know anyways” he smiled. Cyrus got the hint that he didn't want a stupid “I'm sorry” so he smiled and moved on “My parents got divorced and remarried so I have 4 therapist parents it's pretty chaotic sometimes but I'm really close with them.” he smiled just thinking about them. Their hang out was cut shorter than expected when Eli and lizzy barged in talking over each other about a scary scene in the movie

They set cyrus on the end of the right side of the couch T.J beside him lizzy beside him and Eli beside her. Cyrus and T.J fell asleep quickly. T.J was woken up 30 minutes later to lizzy shaking him. “Shh” he said looking down to cyrus who was laying on his chest. “Cyrus is asleep” he whispered. “No I'm not” cyrus mumbled “but I'm trying to be”

“It's getting late Cy do you and eli want to just sleep over?” He asked and felt cyrus nod against him. “Tell mom to call Cyrus’s mom”

T.J she has all of lizzy's friend’s parent’s phone number. Lizzy nodded and grabbed Eli's wrist running upstairs “Don't talk to anybody” he shouted making Cyrus groan.

T.J laughed “Cy” he said softly. “It's a pull out couch i think you would more comfortable if we pulled it out” T.J couldn't help but smile because Cyrus’s head was on his chest and his arm was around him and he really was beautiful. He cursed himself for saying something to make him move but once he made the bed (with no help from cyrus...) They ended up even closer and T.J caught himself thinking about running his hands through his hair a view times the thoughts only dying once he fell asleep.

Taglist:@lovinmullen @lostinsaudade @tyrus-is-endgames @sapphicasha @tartykipp @scientifthicc @leoinhistory @longlivethemagic @bambikippen @i-am-beyoutiful @muffyst @buffy-driscool @tyrusvibes @rockwtyrus @brotyrusiscanon @crazywriterxio @i-am-church-the-cat

A/n so ummm you know how we have a day off for teachers to have parent teacher meetings? Yeah well in shady side you get the whole week off… you're welcome!!

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Their Hero Academia: Chapter 19

My on-going, next-gen, My Hero Academia fan-fic!   Chapter 19, presented raw and unedited and featuring Shota Shinso! Chapters 0-18 (plus an interlude) can be found here

“Yow!  Look out and shout, listeners!  This is Present Mic and the time is 0630 on this beautiful Tuesday morning!  If you’ve got work today in Hosu City, better give yourself extra time, because there’s a Villain attack downtown that has everything all tied up!  Fortunately, new outlets on the scene are reporting that Ingenium and his sidekicks are on the case!  We’ll keep you updated when we know more.  But for now, here’s the latest hit from Jiro and the Jamming Wheys!”

Shota’s sleepy fingers prodded at his alarm clock until he found the volume button, lowering it to something less likely to jolt him out of bed.  He’d stayed up too late (again), reading through the various Hero News sites and watching videos of Heroes in action.  He always paid for it the next morning, but he always considered it worth it.

He threw back the covers and put both feet on the floor, blinking his eyes for a few moments as he adjusted to being awake.   Pro-Heroes stared back at him from every corner of the room, from the posters along every wall, to the statues and action figures that covered nearly every other available surface.  It had been a real challenge deciding what to bring to U.A. with him, but he’d somehow managed.  But maybe he’d trade a few things out the first time he went home.

As he set his phone to voice response mode as he started to get dressed.  “What’s the current Top Ten Hero Rankings?” he asked it, one of his pre-programmed searches.  While the Official Billboard rankings only came out biannually, there were plenty of other Hero-fans and communities out there using similar algorithms to track on a more regular basis.

A hologram popped up of the results:

1)     Deku

2)     Lemillion

3)     Shoto

4)     Ground Zero

5)     Nejire-chan and Suneater

6)     Ingenium

7)     Rodeo

8)     Gale Force

9)     Froppy

10) Red Riot and Real Steel

Most of those weren’t surprising.  Deku and Lemillion traded off spots fairly frequently and both had been working overtime in the advent of the Quirk Virus outbreak.  Shoto had pretty consistently held the Number Three spot for a number of years, though Ground Zero occasionally rose to the Number Three or Two spot for about a day or two before dropping down.  Ingenium had been pretty solidly Number Six for even longer.  

Neijire-chan and Suneater both worked at the same agency they’d founded with Lemillion after he’d gotten his Quirk back, and typically worked together still, even when his duties drew him apart from them.  Even without him, they’d racked up a number of impressive victories, rescues, and captures to their name.  Hero couples usually did.  His parents frequently worked together too and had similar results, her Quirk complimenting his quite nicely.  Even if they were largely Underground Heroes, operating below most people’s radar.

The only real surprise on the list was Rodeo, Mika Mineta’s mother.  After he fixed his tie and slipped on his jacket, Shota opened the article associated with the most recent list for more information.   She’d previously been hovering in the low to mid-teens, but it looked like a victory against the Villain group known as the Rustlers, she’d been propelled up several notches. It looked like the Villains had taken a bullet train hostage and she’d pulled off the rescue single handedly.

Unfortunately, there weren’t very many video clips of the rescue, just a couple of hastily taken and shaky cell phone videos.  There were more when the train had pulled in the station and she’d walked out with them all tied up, but those weren’t nearly as exciting.

On the other hand, a linked article showed that a newer Pro-Hero, Wreck-It, was rapidly rising in the ranks following his fight with Fullmetal last week, having hit Number Twenty-Seven already.  Most people were speculating he’d crack the teens by the end of the year.   Looking at the time, Shota saved a video of Wreck-It fighting Cy-Bug for later.  If he wanted breakfast, he’d have to go down now.

There was never enough time for the important stuff!

***

Shota came out of his room at the same time that Isamu Haimawari was coming out of his.  Tall and skinny, Haimawari had a good six inches or more on him. Shota gave him a wave.  “Morning, Haimawari!”

“Oh, morning, Shinso,” he said.  “You, ah, you look tired.”

Shota shrugged. “Stayed up too late again watching Hero videos.  I’d watch one, and then it just kept suggesting more!”

Haimawari laughed. “You do know that’s just what it does, right?  For the clicks and ads?”

“Yeah, well… they shouldn’t have so much cool stuff if they’re gonna do that!”

He laughed again as they headed for the stairs.  “If you say so, little dude.  Just don’t let Aizawa catch you napping.  I don’t think it’s be pretty.  He’s really scary.”  He held open the door to the stairwell for Shota.

“Oh, I don’t worry too much about that.   Uncle Shota’s not nearly as scary as he seems.”

Haimawari missed a step and began skidding down the stairs, only stopping himself by throwing out his hands and using his Quirk to brake himself.   He got uneasily back to his feet.  “’Uncle Shota’?” he asked, sounding as if he didn’t really believe what he was saying.  “How do you two have the same name?”

It took Shota a minute to remember that Haimawari hadn’t grown up with the rest of them.  It had only been a week, but he’d already gotten completely used to having him around.  “I’m named after him,” he explained.  “He’s my godfather.  He was my dad’s mentor, back in the day.  Helped get him into the Hero Course and everything.”

Haimawari tilted his head. “That’s a thing?”

“Oh yeah!” Shota said. “Lots of Pro-Heroes started off in the General Education Department but got to transfer to the Heroics Course after they made their mark in the Sports’ Festival!  It’s pretty much a U.A. tradition!  There’s the Negotiator, and the Safari Samurai, and Iron Blood, and Life Sewer, and…”

“Wow,” Haimawari said. “Too bad more schools don’t do something like that.  Dad applied to a Hero school too… but missed the exam.  He might have made it up after.  Course, if he did that, he probably never would have met Mom, so…” He shrugged.  “Guess things work out.”

“Your dad was gonna be a Hero?” he asked.  “Awww, man! You said he’s got the same Quirk as you, right?  Your Quirk is so cool!  I bet he could have made an awesome one!”

That got a smile out of Haimawari as they reached the bottom of the stairs and headed into the Common Room. “Yeah… well, guess it’s up to me then.”

“You’ll do great,” Shota said.  “I know it!”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, dude,” Haimawari said.  

The Common Room was abuzz with activity, with most either eating breakfast, fixing their breakfast, or otherwise engaged.  Shota saw Toshi sitting with Takuma Sero and the Iida Twins on one of the sofas.  Sora Iida was sitting very close to Toshi, practically in his lap, while Takuma and Tensei Iida were sitting close, but not as close, though both looked rather relaxed with each other.  Everybody had already known about Sero and Tensei Iida, of course, since Kimiko Ojiro had blasted it to the farthest corners of the internet, but Toshi and Sora Iida was new.  Good for them, though.

“Haimawari!”  Chihiro Kaminari’s voice cut across the room, from where she was sitting with Mika Mineta.  “Your mom’s a music reporter, right?”

Haimawari looked over in their direction, maybe looking a little pale from the attention.  “Ah, yeah?” he said.

“Then get over here! You’ve got to have the inside scoop on these Double*Pop girls!” Kaminari said.

“Bunch of wannabes,” Haimawari said, looking disgusted for the first time since Shota had known him. “Hang on, let me get a Pop-Tart and I’ll give you the real gossip.”  

He gave Shota an apologetic grin.  “Sorry, I’ve gotta get in on this.  Just… come check on me in about fifteen to make sure they haven’t kidnapped me to have their way with me,”

“Oookay?” Shota said. He wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but he’d still check up on him anyway.  He’d grab some cereal and then go join Asuka, Izumi, and Kirishima-Bakugo for some quick breakfast before class.

Hopefully the morning wouldn’t drag on too long.  He couldn’t wait to get back to the USJ!

***

“Go, Shinso!” Akaya Koda directed, pointing with one massive hand.  “My trees have grown strong, but they will not hold back rubble’s collapse for long!”

Back the USJ, they were continuing their Urban Rescue Training.  Yesterday, they’d been training with Doc Clock (she wasn’t very high in the Hero Rankings, but Aunt Eri was definitely one of the top Heroes in his book), and today they were working with All Might himself!  The former Number One Hero in Japan and the world! The Symbol of Peace!  And he was still teaching after all these years!   It was the coolest thing in the universe!

He was working with Akaya Koda, Takiyo Aoyama, Takuma Sero, and Izumi Todoroki.  The cityscape around them was in ruins, with numerous small fires and many of the buildings in states of significant collapse.  They’d already cleared three buildings and were on to a fourth.  Koda had used her Quirk to fast grow trees from seeds (decades of growth in seconds!), shaping their growth enough to reinforce a collapsed section of a building. But they wouldn’t hold forever. So they had to know how many people were inside to be rescued.

Shota took a deep breath and concentrated on his Quirk, sending out as high a pitch as he could manage, almost past the range of human hearing.  Invisible waves of sound penetrated the building, bouncing all around it, until they bounced back to him, painting a perfect picture in his mind. He could see every nook, cranny, door, pipe, light fixture, and “person” inside.

“Five people inside,” he said.  “Two on the ground floor, three on the third.”

He had spent a lot of time with Quirk Specialists and Quirk Counselors over the years.  His was a true, rare, once in a family line mutation, completely different from anything anyone else on either side of his family had.  They were still figuring out everything he could do.  He just knew he could make a lot of things happen with different sounds.  And every time he found something new, it meant it was a new way he could help people. But sonar was really useful here. Not that it didn’t have its drawbacks. There was the time he’d used it when Kimiko Ojiro was around…

“I can take Todoroki up,” Sero said, pointing to the third floor.  “I can get there, but I can’t get past the fires.  You up for that?”

Izumi nodded.  She looked a little tired; she’d been making lots of ice to fight the fires, only occasionally and carefully letting out little puffs of her own flames to balance herself out.  The silver pieces on her costume were flashing yellow. Shota knew they did something to help regulate her temperatures, but he didn’t know what the flashing meant.  He hoped she was okay.

“I can manage,” Izumi said. “Just get me close enough.”

“Guess that leaves us on the ground floor!” Shota said to Aoyama.

Aoyama shrugged, his glow bright and partially obscuring his features.  “I suppose they shall be grateful for the rescue,” he said.  

“Best hurry,” Koda said. “I shall do what I can to reinforce what I have already grown, but I fear providence shall not be with us for long.”

They moved.  With Todoroki on his back, Sero fired a strand of his Acid Tape upward, pulling them towards the third floor.  Shota sprinted inside, Aoyama hot on his heels and soon passing him.

He probably could have navigated with his Sonar—though the picture it had given him was fading fast from his mind—but Shota was grateful for Aoyama’s light.  With the power out in the ruined building, it cast a soft glow over everything.  

“You said there were deux,” Aoyama said.  “Where?”   He held up a hand and concentrated, focusing his light through the reflective armband he wore as part of his Support gear.  The armband focused the light into a powerful spotlight beam, which he traced over the dark corners of the room.

Shota pointed a little to the left of where Aoyama’s spotlight had fallen.  “One there… one further in the back.”

The ground began to shake and pieces of rubble fell from the ceiling.  Aoyama let out a frightened yelp and jumped to the side as one nearly fell on him.  “Then let us get them and get out as soon as possible,” he said.

Swiftly, they checked the first of the animatronics.  There was a fallen filing cabinet pinning its legs and the vital signs meters displaying on its chest told a story of a great many injuries.  Shota grabbed onto the cabinet and tried to lift it, grunting and straining with all his might, but it was too heavy.

Aoyama let out a sigh. “Allow me to show you how it is done.”   He pointed a hand at the filing cabinet and made some adjustment to his arm band.  A beam of light as wide as his fist shot out, striking the cabinet and slicing through it, splitting it into the portion that was over the animatronic’s legs and the portion that wasn’t.  The beam continued on and went into the wall behind it, leaving a smoking hole and red hot edges on the cabinet.

The lights on the animatronic lit up like a Christmas tree before shutting off completely.  Shota reached a hand towards it and pulled it back. The animatronic and the air around it was still hot from Aoyama’s laser beam.  No wonder it had…  died? Was that the right word for what had happened?

He knew Aoyama was powerful, but he also knew he mostly relied on his Support gear to control his Quirk.  Shota’s eyes went wide as he looked at his classmate.

“Non…” Aoyama said.  “I did not mean…   We… we must have been too late already!”  He gave his cape a flick.  “Let us see about the other one, Shinso.”

Shota was very sure that they hadn’t been too late and that it had been Aoyama’s fault.  But after seeing the horrified look on his French classmate’s face, he wasn’t going to push it.  Maybe he’d be a little nicer after that.

As they headed to the back room, the ground shook again and more of the ceiling began to fall.  A big piece of the ceiling fell near Aoyama, causing him to shriek and Shota to flinch at the noise of the crash.  More started to fall, but when Aoyama tried to move, he couldn’t!   His cape had been caught under the rubble that had nearly hit him.  And more was falling…

Shota screamed.  The air around the rippled with the sonic energy he had unleashed, forming a protective dome around both of them. Several more pieces of rubble fell from the ceiling, but they bounced off the dome.  Finally, it stopped and Shota could breathe again, coughing until his throat felt right again.  That had been longer than he typically used his Quirk for.  He was best in short bursts and could only keep it up as long as he could draw in enough air to make sound.

Aoyama looked at him with wide eyes.  “You saved me,” he said, his voice soft and quiet.  “Merci.”

“You’d have done the same!” Shota told him, even if part of him wondered if that wasn’t true.  “And they wouldn’t let us really get hurt, not during training!”

“Still…” Aoyama frowned and tugged at his cape, until it came away from the rubble with a long riiiiiip.  “A pity. My poor cape.”

Shota was going to tell him that he shouldn’t wear it, that very few Heroes wore them these days, exactly because of what had happened.  He even remembered reading about an American Support Gear and costume designer who had campaigned very hard for the international Hero community to outlaw capes in their entirety, though she had not been successful in that. Too many people thought they were too iconic to give up.  But Shota could quote a lot of statistics on why they were a bad idea…

“Aoyama!  Shinso!”  Koda’s voice rang out.  “The structure is becoming unstable!  You need to get out!”

Both turned and ran for the door.  Shota hated leaving the exercise incomplete…but it looked like they had no choice.

The second they hit daylight, the building finished collapsing, taking Koda’s trees with it. “Thank you for your sacrifice, my woody friends,” she said quietly.  “Rest well knowing the lessons I have learned here will mean it was not in vain.”  Her rocky features were tired and a little sad. Shota knew she took it hard whenever her plants were hurt, even in training.

“You two okay?” Sero asked. “You were in there a long time.” Soot covered his costume and he held his helmet in the crook of his arm, scrubbing at the faceplate with a cloth.

“And your cape is torn, Aoyama,” Izumi said.  She was letting flames dance over her fingertips, the blinking lights on the silver pieces of her costume fading from yellow to green.

“We just ran into un petit bit of trouble,” Aoyama said, putting on a proud grin.  But he only held it for a minute, Shota bet he was remembering that they’d all be reviewing the video later. “But… Shinso was quite good at getting us out of it.  Even if we did not complete the rescue.”

“An unfortunate truism of being a Hero,” All Might said, as he left the safe zone he’d been monitoring them from.  Shota had seen plenty of videos of him in his prime, but there was something captivating about the man he’d mostly known as Toshi’s grandfather.  He’d been a Hero longer than almost anyone; and Shota knew he was lucky to learn whatever he could from him.

“Sometimes,” All Might continued, “you cannot save everyone.  Sometimes… you will be pushed to your limits and it will still not be enough. We hold tremendous power and responsibility in our hands.  Our profession is an unforgiving one, one which demands perfection of us, when the slightest misstep or wrong choice can cost lives. But if you train your minds, bodies, and Quirks…  You can at least ensure those moments are as few and far between as possible.

“I think you all know where you can begin to improve, but that being said…  You are all showing great progress!  We will discuss the specifics later, but the other groups should be finishing up and Water Spout and Doc Clock will be wanting to continue your first aid lessons.  But know that I am very proud of all of you!  You are truly showing you know what it means to Go Beyond… Plus Ultra!”

Shota was pretty sure he’d never felt happier.  All Might believed in him!

***

“Remember, kids, playing by the rules is super manly!  If you see someone cheating, let them know that’s not fair!  And that’s what Red Riot Sayz!”

Shota turned down the volume on his computer while the ad between videos loaded.  Someone had uploaded a bunch of Public Service Announcements that Red Riot had done more than a decade ago and he just had to watch them all!  He wouldn’t be up too late if he did that…

“Shota, go to bed.”

He looked up from his computer to find Asuka, Izumi, Toshi, and Haimiwari in his room.  He must have been watching so intently he didn’t even hear them!

“Go to bed,” Asuka repeated.

“Sorry, dude,” Haimiwari said, an apologetic smile on his face.  “But you looked really tired this morning.  I had to call in the heavy artillery.”

“I’m only gonna watch a couple more,” Shota said.  And he was! Probably.  Sometimes they were just too tempting!

“Those’ll probably get taken down anyway,” Toshi said.  “That’s not an official video channel.”

They might?  Then he had to watch them all tonight!  He started to turn back towards his computer.

“Maybe not the best thing to say, Toshi, *chirp*” Asuka said.

“…Ooops?”

“Shota,” Izumi said.  “It is only Tuesday and you’ve already been tired both mornings this week.  This is not healthy for you or your future as a Hero.”

“Dad doesn’t sleep that much,” he tried.  

“But you are not your father,” Izumi continued.  “And besides… your godfather would tell you to rest whenever you are able.  We must insist you go to bed.”

Shota became uncomfortably aware of the four sets of eyes on him.  And of the fact that despite her soft voice, there was a firmness to Izumi’s words that meant he wasn’t going to win this argument.

“Okay,” he said, dejectedly, getting out of his chair.

“Turn the computer off,” Asuka said.

“And no using your phone either,” Izumi added.

They’d really thought of everything!  He was definitely trapped.  Well… one day without too many videos probably wouldn’t kill him.

He’d just have to watch even more tomorrow!

[thechanbaeklibrary]

FIC SEARCH of all fic searches

Hi everyone! Here we have gathered all the fic searches that haven’t been answered yet so we could give it a second chance. Hopefully, you can help! 

1) anonymous asked: Im trying to find this chaptered fic that i read a while ago. Its a chanbaek. I think chanyeol and Baekhyun work together and baekhyun needs a place to stay. Chanyeol gets baekhyun to move in with kai who is dating kyungsoo. Baekhyun and kai make out at a party and then fuck the next day but kyungsoo comes home and walks in on them.

2) anonymous asked: hello! sorry to bother you! but i’m looking for a fic! so it was an ao3 fic i believe and chanyeol was like holding baekhyun hostage? he had him handcuffed to the bed or handcuffed to something and chanyeol loved baek but like it was messy and there was a point where baekhyun did try to escape but chanyeol caught him and he does slap him. and i think chanyeol wore glasses. thanks!

3) anonymous asked: Hellooooo, do you know this fic where CB are bestfriends, this fic is an omegaverse and there’s something like ‘ghost mating’ in the story? And later CB are mates. Thanksss

4) anonymous asked: hey, do you know that fic where chanyeol would go with baek at the bus stop everytime after school(?)or when it was really night(?)and baek was into hapkido(?)and some time he got beaten up(?)uhhh i don’t really remember that much tho

x The Fortune-Teller Said That You're My Future Husband byOtpismyoxygen

5) anonymous asked: Hello idk if you can help me. I read a fic years ago but can’t remember the name. It was Baekhyun was from an abusive family and raped,he disappeared but he came back to school where Yeol and the rest found him working as an assistant. There was a scene where he begged Baek on a roof to tell him what’s wrong. I really really can’t remember the name ;_;

x Lifeless

6) teespoone asked: Hello lovelies! I’ve been searching for this fic forever and I can’t find it. It was a zombie au and I’m pretty sure chanbaek weren’t the main pairing. The only thing i remember is that baek got bitten (on his foot/ankle maybe?) and the others wanted to either leave him or kill him. Chan thought he would get better and kept him around until baek tried to bite him. Then he took them away to “shoot” him but ended up killing himself too. That’s all I remember. Thanks!

x The Sky Under The Sea

7) Anonymous asked: hi! idk if youre taking requests rn (if you’re not you can just delete this) but there’s a smut one shot where baekhyun never felt satisfied after having sex with chanyeol and chanyeol overheard baekhyun on the phone with sehun and then they had sex. this isn’t a great description but could you help me find it?

8) aeri-chogiwa asked: Hello! I’m such a fan of you guys! I’ve been looking for this fanfic, but I can only remember its ending. The ending was when Chanyeol came home but before he entered the house( I guess he can see from the inside) he saw Kai and Baekhyun getting sweet while watching their kid. It was an angst story. I hope you can find it for me! Thank you so mucch!

9) anonymous asked: hello~~~ i wanted to ask about a fic in which one of them (i think baek) was at a party but his clothes got dirty so he stumbled into chanyeols room where (?) they had sex and they even went to meet chanyeols friend (?) yixing who had a guitar

x Shawty I Got It

10) anonymous asked: Is there a FF where the description is Like… they are 4 years together and Chanyeol is away the 2 ?

x Love You Closer

11) anonymous asked: Hello! I’ve been searching for a fic that I read quite some time ago and I don’t remember all of it but have some minor details that could help in finding out what the fic is. So baekhyun is staying at home I believe and chanyeol is his neighbor who comes by the fix things in his house? And they both go to college I think Berkeley or Stanford? And chanyeol is a science major? Again not too much detail sorry…

12) anonymous asked: hi!! there was a fic I read a long time ago.. i think cy was bh’s puppy and they grew up together, but then one day cy passed away as a older dog and bh had to go to college where he met cy as a person. i really hope you guys know what fic this is, it was so heartwarming and cute ;w;

13) anonymous asked: Hi ! Can you help me find a fanfiction ? ChanBaek are best friends in it although Chan often neglects Baek for One night stands, and the main plot was Taemin making a bet with Kris about sleeping with Baek, who’s still a virgin and Chanyeol finding out and yeea x) much better than it sounds right now! And it was on aff. Oh and ChanBaek get together of course xD I’d seriously love you forever if you could find it!

14) eu-inquietude asked: This is not the 1st time I come here, but thank u for all the good work again, I really apreciate your blog! There is this oneshot where Baekhyun is on the baseball team and starts to crush on Chanyeol, a transfered student and now part of the basketball team. Then Baek keep on searching about Yeol’s sexuality with Jongdae’s help, his bff and the school journal reporter, in vain until the day Chanyeol finally comes to talk to him. Please, I’m feeling like bbh now cause I can’t find this nowhere.

15) anonymous asked: Have read a fic about Baek who is a very smart student, never studies but always on top. And Chanyeol despite studying hard still can’t top B(he hates B for that) At some point they compete for who will get the highest score, then what B asked is a date(?) or C to be his bf(?). Because B is bored and he is sick and dying(?). It was my sister who have read the fic, then she suggested it to me but completely forgot the title. Fighting!~

16) anonymous asked: Hii ❤ Do you know of any fics where Chan is a church boy and Baek kinda “corrupts” him. Similar to The Confessional by t_dragon on AO3. Thankss 💖💖

17) anonymous asked: Hello💖 Can you tell the name of the fic where Chanyeol is the best man at suho’s wedding. Baekhyun is the crazy brother of the bride and Chanyeol needs to stop him from ruining anything so he locks him up but Baekhyun manages to escape. Pls tell me the fics name if u know. It would be a great help Thank you💖

x And Your Name Was?

18) anonymous asked: Hi, I would like to ask for a story in which Chanyeol is a (?) fairy and baekhyun finds him and then Chanyeol stalks the other but baekhyun leaves and it turns out Chanyeol turned into a human to find baekhyun and finds him in his office but really baekhyun is just making up this story off of Chanyeols new blue hair

19) creative-catcafe asked: Hi, i’ve asked this before, but do you know the fic where Chanbaek never said i love you, and Chanyeol got sad, and Baekhyun said he didnt feel the need to be the kind of couple that does that, and he comforts Chanyeol? Its kinda short

20) saekireine asked: hi! I’m looking for a chanbaek fic for my friend who forgot to bookmark it last time he read it. it’s a pretty woman/hooker!au where baekhyun plays the role of vivian and yeol the role of edward. the fic starts off just like the movie and follows it very closely. he remembers reading it on ao3 and that it was already completed. can you pls help?

21) anonymous asked: hi! been looking for a fic where Baek has unrequited love for Chanyeol but few years later, he tried to move on and he got Kris as his bf. Baek kept refusing to Kris’ marriage proposal so Kris left him. I think it was Luhan who contacted Chanyeol to help Baek and told him Baek got cancer. The ending was wonderful, Yeol prepared a speech for Baek to have him again. I forgot the title of this fic ㅠㅠ I hope you can help me. More power to your blog!

x i sing better than snow white

22) anonymous asked: Hello!! I really love your blog 💖 I was looking for a fic, it was highschool!au and chanbaek were kind of fwb and one night chanyeol climbed up to Baekhyun’s bedroom through the window to cuddle or something. I also remember Baekhyun being very afraid of his dad finding out about him and Chanyeol. I think this was on aff as well! Thank you for your time~

23) anonymous asked: Hi, I’m looking for a oneshot. It was very cute and fluffy. Baekhyun was on a blind date with Chanyeol, and B didn’t fancy him at all at first. They get very drunk, and I think Chanyeol buys him a pair of socks(?). And we don’t get to know the name of his blinddate before the end, if I remember right :) It was very very cute, but I can’t find it anymore. It was on aff, I think!

24) chanoyel asked: Hello!! I hope you’re doing well! I was wondering if you could help me find a fic I read a long time ago. Baekhyun goes around Seoul and finds portraits of Chanyeol from street artists who have drawn him with his goofy eye smile. Baek falls in love with his smile and tries to find Chanyeol. Thank you in advance and have a great day!! 💗

25) anonymous asked: Hello! I’m looking for a story in which chanbaek were a couple and Baek was jealous of Chanyeol’s work mate - Kris. Baekhyun thought Chanyeol wants to leave him or he was cheating on him and he was fraeking out but Channie only wanted to be be as cool as he thought Kris was for Baek. I hope you can help me bc I’m in need for that ff! BTW I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORK! YOU MAKE MY LIFE BETTER!!

x (I wanna be) Close to You by  sogogibaby

26) anonymous asked: Hi! I’m looking for a fanfic where baekhyun convinced his boyfriend to do a threesome with sehun. So baek approached sehun in the bathroom, seduced him and asked him to join chanyeol and him in their room. I hope you can help me. Thanks for your work, love you!

27) anonymous asked: hi~ I’m looking for an abo fic in which baek worked in a glass factory and chanyeol was part of a pack and they meet in the forest when chanyeol was getting rid of a corpse i think and Baek tried to run away because he saw him right at that moment but chanyeol caught him and realized Baek was his mate. One night Baek was working late and on the way back home some men attack him but chanyeol saved him and it has a happy ending and chanyeol cared for Baek a lot. Thank you! You are the best!

x I Will Never Be Complete (until I find you)

28) anonymous asked: Hello😀! Do you know a fic where chanyeol returns home after a business trip(im not sure) and they missed each other and were going to have sex but then Lay who was baekhyun’s neighbour interrupted them because he wanted to borrow something ( i think it was milk) and chanyeol fell asleep waiting? I think baekhyun had a roomate who left them alone for the day to catch up. Can you please find it?

29) anonymous asked: Hi!!! Do you know the fic where Chanyeol only meant to hook up with B and he also kind of got into a fight with yifan before that. Then times pass, baek and Chan are still together and c was about to propose to b when they got into a fight an b found yifan again…? Sorry that’s all I can remember, thank you v much!! <3

x The Only Exception

30) anonymous asked: Hellooo!! So i was looking for this fic i read a while back and i cant find it anywhere. Its an abo where chanyeol cant seem to focus when hes at work and it turns out his rut is starting and so he goes back home to baekhyun and then smut happens. I think it was on aff im jot really sure. Could u help plz?Thank you….

Thanks a lot guys! joyyeoll |huffnpwff i-ship-chanbaek | pleasantmoonpenguin | fire-light-sorrows | cristallodineverosa | mooncoco88 | firelightsby

[andimackshitposts]

maybe it's all part of a plan (i'll keep on making the same mistakes), or Five Times Jonah Beck Tried to Woo Cyrus Goodman and One Time He Didn’t 

Summary: “I asked him on a date, and he invited his two best friends, one of which just happens to be my ex-girlfriend,” Jonah almost laughed at his own misery. “I think he’s sending a pretty clear message, don’t you?”

Also read on AO3. 

The arcade was loud and bright and Jonah was glad for the distraction. He dreaded the moment he stepped away from the bright chaos and was alone with his thoughts. Nothing about the day had gone according to plan. He was supposed to be at the arcade with Cyrus. It was supposed to be their first date. He’d even made an effort to dress up a little and style his hair (although he’d never been very good at that, so he doubted it looked very good), and then Cyrus had shown up with Buffy and Andi in tow, and suddenly it wasn’t a date anymore.

Or, rather, it never was a date. Jonah only thought it was a date. Which was stupid, really, because it wasn’t like Cyrus was ever going to see Jonah as anything more than a friend. Why would he? What did Jonah have to offer that Cyrus couldn’t get from any other boy?

The video game speakers crackled “GAME OVER” and the same words, in a pixelated red font, flashed on screen, pulling Jonah back into the moment.

“Another win for me!” Buffy flashed a smug grin, stepping away from her console and looking around for another open game.

“Congrats,” Jonah forced a smile, and followed her to an open racing game.

Buffy stopped short, and turned around. “Okay, Jonah, what’s wrong with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Where’s your competitive edge?” Buffy put a hand on her hip. “Beating your ass isn’t as fun when you don’t give it your all.”

Jonah shrugged. “I dunno. I guess I’m just not that into it today.”

Buffy raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Wasn’t coming to the arcade your idea?”  

Jonah held back a bitter remark, choosing instead a simple: “Yeah.” Apparently, he didn’t do a very good job of keeping his tone neutral because Buffy’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates in shock.

“Were you just... surly with me?” She seemed to barely be able to get the words out for how bewildered she was. “You? Human sunbeam Jonah Beck?”

Jonah shrugged. “Today isn’t going how I wanted it to, is all.”

Buffy considered this for a moment before speaking. “This was supposed to be a date, wasn’t it?”

Jonah paled. How did she know that? “What?!” He coughed out.

“You were asking Cyrus out, weren’t you?”

Jonah felt his face start to burn. “How did you know?”

Buffy laughed. “You’re not exactly subtle, dude. I have eyes. I can see the way you look at him.”

Jonah rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, it doesn’t even matter.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, I asked him on a date, and he invited his two best friends, one of which just happens to be my ex-girlfriend,” Jonah almost laughed at his own misery. “I think he’s sending a pretty clear message, don’t you?”

Buffy pursed her lips. “I mean...maybe he didn’t realize what you were asking. What exactly did you say to him?”

“I said ‘do you want to go to the arcade with me tomorrow’ and he said ‘I’d love to.’”

Buffy sighed deeply. “Are you kidding me? There’s no way Cyrus knew what you meant.”

“Well,” Jonah crossed his arms. He almost took offense to Buffy’s tone. In his defense, the arcade seemed like a great idea when he’d asked Cyrus. They were a cold snap, and he knew Cyrus had been dying to play the new Alien Invaders game.  “How do you propose I get him to realize what I meant?”

“You have woo him!” Buffy exclaimed. “Buy him flowers! Give him chocolates! And at least ask him to go to dinner and movie, not the same arcade we go to twice a month.”

Jonah nodded. “You may be right.”

“I’m always right.”

ONE: CHOCOLATE (KIND OF)

Jonah stood in his father’s kitchen, examining the wreckage. Flour and cocoa powder coated nearly every surface, egg white dripped off one of the counters, and blobs of dough speckled the white linoleum floor. But it was worth it for the tray of chocolate heart cookies that were cooling on the table. Buffy had suggested straight up chocolates, but a box of candy seemed… cliche.

So, here he was, preparing to spread red icing on homemade cookies. God, he thought, I’m pathetic. I baked him cookies for Valentine’s Day. Jonah hoped his baking skills would impress Cyrus, who had told him time and again that he was looking for “a man who could cook,” since he wasn’t the greatest in the kitchen himself. Plus, there was no way Cyrus could miss that it was a romantic gesture. The cookies were literally heart shaped.

He frosted them quickly, just a smear of red icing to fancy them up, plated them up, and went to change. He, Cyrus, Buffy, and Andi were meeting up at The Spoon, and Jonah planned to get there early to catch Cyrus alone before the others showed up. He arranged them on a paper plate, wrapped it up in red cellophane he’d bought at Michael’s, and tied with a silver ribbon he’d pulled from the drawer his dad’s girlfriend kept the Christmas paper in.

He arrived at The Spoon ten minutes before the meetup time, just as planned. Cyrus arrived 5 minutes later, as he always did, and Jonah couldn’t help the smile that lit up his face.

“Hey, Jo-Lamajama! Whatcha got there?” Cyrus greeted brightly, genturing to the plate of cookies Jonah had almost forgot he was holding.

“Chocolate heart cookies,” Jonah pushed them towards Cyrus. “I made them myself.”

“Wow!” Cyrus took the plate from Jonah’s hands with a bright smile. “Can I have one?”

“Of course,” Jonah nodded. “They’re for--”

Jonah was cut off by Andi’s voice. “Hey, guys!”

“Hey, Andi!” Cyrus swiveled. “Look, Jonah made us cookies!”

Andi raised an eyebrow at Jonah. “Oh, he made us cookies?”

Jonah pursed his lips and sighed. “Yeah. I did.”

TWO: FLOWERS

Jonah paced up and down the sidewalk outside of The Spoon so fast he thought he might wear down the cement. It was a crisp March day, and he was supposed to meet Cyrus for a basket of Baby Taters, but Cyrus was already ten minutes late. Jonah wouldn’t have minded too much, if it wasn’t for the bouquet of pink and white roses in his hand. He was trying not to grip them too tightly, for fear of crushing the stems, but his palm was sweating against the plastic film wrapped around the arrangement. He sighed, trying to slow his pace, trying to calm his frayed nerves. But he felt like such a fool, standing there, outside the café, alone, with a dozen roses. He glanced down at the flowers. They were so bright, so eye catching. Everyone had to know that he was waiting for a date who hadn’t shown. He could feel their pitying eyes on him.

At least they weren’t red. Jonah had made sure of that. He couldn’t risk coming on too strong.

He pulled his phone from his pocket. No new messages. And Cyrus was twenty minutes late. A worry began to build in Jonah’s chest. What if something happened to him? What if he’s hurt? What if--

“Jonah!” A voice pulled him from his thoughts, and not a moment too soon. Jonah smiled reflexively at the sound. Cyrus .

“Cy! I--”

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Cyrus puffed. “And...I’m sorry because I can’t stay long. I forgot, it’s my mom’s birthday, and I don’t even have anything for--Are those Queen Elizabeth roses?”

“Uh,” Jonah blinked slowly. He can identify rose varieties? Am I really surprised? Is there anything he can’t do? “Yeah, actually. How did you--”

“My mom loves those,” Cyrus bit his lip. “I don’t know if those are for, uh, anyone special, but my mom would love them, and it would totally save me.”

“Oh…” Jonah held them out to Cyrus. “Yeah, no, totally. Take them.”

“You’re the best,” Cyrus grinned, taking the flowers. “I so owe you one. Tomorrow, the Baby Taters are on me.”

“Anytime,” Jonah managed a small smile.

“I hate to leave when I just got here…” Cyrus hesitated.

Jonah gave Cyrus the best smile he could muster the energy to fake. “Go, go. Don’t worry about me. Tell your mom Happy Birthday for me!”

“I will!” Cyrus chuckled in that cute way that he did. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And then he was gone, and Jonah let his shoulders once again sag with the sting of rejection.

THREE: COFFEE

It was a spur of the moment decision really, something that he probably wouldn’t have done if he’d thought about it longer than 5 seconds, but he really didn’t. The idea came from something he saw online a few months prior. The sharpie came from the barista, who only gave Jonah a sideways look when he asked if he could borrow it. Then, Jonah picked up Cyrus’s iced caramel mocha and scribbled “Will You Be My Boyfriend?” on the side. He handed the pen back to the barista with a somewhat harried “thanks” and picked up his own chai latte.

He made it back to the table Cyrus had picked out for them, and slid the mocha towards the other boy before taking a sip of his own steaming beverage, trying to calm the nerves bubbling up in his stomach.

“I don’t see how you can drink something hot on a sunny day like today.” Cyrus nodded in the direction of Jonah’s chai, and picking up his mocha.

“It’s not like it’s 90 degrees, Cyrus. It’s just a nice, clear, late spring day.” Jonah spoke with a smile in his voice, but his eyes were glued on Cyrus as he sipped his drink, waiting for him to notice the words that wrapped around the side.

“God,” Cyrus rolled his eyes. “You are such a Hallmark card.”  

“Shut up,” Jonah laughed, in spite of his nerves.

“Can you believe that Buffy and Andi both bailed on us today?” Cyrus set down his drink as he spoke, and Jonah’s heart sank. The sharpie ink had smeared. It was illegible.

Jonah shrugged in response to Cyrus’s words. It wasn’t weird. They’d never actually planned on coming. This was supposed to be another chance for Jonah to show Cyrus how the felt. He’d planned on just saying it, but then he’d seen the sharpie in the barista’s hand, and now, sitting across from Cyrus, with the perfect opportunity, his silence was deafening. When he finally spoke, all he could manage was a quiet: “Oh, yeah, that was kind of weird.”

Of course, Cyrus noticed. Cyrus always noticed. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Jonah said too quickly. “I’m just tired.”

Cyrus gave Jonah and indecipherable look, and then seemed to decide that he really didn’t care to know, which Jonah thought was only fair. He couldn’t ask Cyrus to be a mind reader.

“So, when are you sending out the Space Otters schedules?” Cyrus gave Jonah a playful nudge. “I gotta start prepping the sunscreen.”

FOUR: SERENADE

Singing a love song to Cyrus might’ve been a stupid idea. Actually, it was definitely a stupid idea. But Jonah had to pick a song to perform for the summer talent show anyway, and according to Andi,he was being too subtle with his intentions. “You have to make it obvious to Cyrus, or he won’t get it,” she’d told him, with a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, “He’s not used to being pursued.” And Jonah had to admit, she had a point. He had to make it undeniably obvious that he was head over heels for Cyrus.

So, Jonah picked up the phone and dialed Cyrus’s number.

“I think I’ve picked out the song I’m gonna perform for the talent show.”

“Oh, cool. What song?”

“Why don’t you come over and I’ll play it for you? You inspired the choice, after all.”

“I did?”

“You bet.”

And then Cyrus was there, and Jonah was nervously adjusting his guitar, trying not to burn under Cyrus’s gaze.

“So, is it a pop song?” Cyrus asked.

Jonah nodded. “Y-Yeah.”

Cyrus grinned. “Cool.”

Jonah finished tuning his guitar and took a deep breath. “Okay, here goes.”

He began to strum, and as soon as the first few notes cut through the air, he knew there was no going back. This was one of Cyrus’s favorite songs. Jonah sang nervously at first.

When your legs don't work like they used to before

And I can't sweep you off of your feet

Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love

Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks

Cyrus gave Jonah a reassuring smile, his warm brown eyes urging him to keep going. Jonah pushed down his nerves and the voice in his head telling him this was a terrible idea.

And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways

Maybe just the touch of a hand

Oh me I fall in love with you every single day

And I just wanna tell you I am

Cyrus swayed along to the rhythm of the music, lifting his phone above his head like a lighter at a concert. Jonah would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so focused on singing and playing.

I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways

Maybe it's all part of a plan

I'll just keep on making the same mistakes

Hoping that you'll understand

Jonah held eye contact, hoping Cyrus would understand how true the words were, hoping he would know it was more than just a song. Cyrus swallowed as Jonah sang, his face suddenly becoming something more serious. More solemn. Fear knotted in Jonah’s chest.

So baby now

Take me into your loving arms

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars

Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart

I'm thinking out loud

That maybe we found love right where we are

Oh maybe we found love right where we are

And we found love right where we are

Jonah finished, set his guitar down, and looked into Cyrus’s soft eyes. “So,” he started quietly, “what do you think?”

“I think it’s great!” Cyrus nodded brightly.

“Really?”

“Yeah, for sure,” Cyrus shook Jonah’s shoulder gently. “You’re gonna kill it at the talent show.”

“Thanks…” Jonah trailed off. Did he not get it? Or is this his way of letting me down gently?

“And it’s super sweet of you to pick a song that you know I like,” Cyrus added. “You’re a great friend.”

Jonah sucked in a breath through his teeth, “Right, yeah. No problem.”

FIVE: WORDS

It was nearly the end of summer. Jonah had been trying to get Cyrus to see how he felt for months, to no avail. Buffy was wrong, that’s what Jonah decided. It wasn’t that he needed to “woo” Cyrus, exactly. He just needed to be obvious about it. So, this time, he was going to use his words as clearly as he possibly could. He was going to play it simple. No flowers this time, nothing homemade, but a nice, simple, classic box of chocolate.

Cyrus wasn’t expecting him, but that didn’t stop Jonah. It just meant he had the option to chicken out, if he wanted to. And a part of him did. He paced in front of the Goodmans’ home for almost 30 minutes, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Maybe Cyrus knew exactly how he felt, and was trying to avoid confrontation by acting purposefully dense. Maybe Cyrus liked someone else. Maybe Jonah was about to make a huge mistake.

But then he heard Andi’s voice in his head: You don’t know until you try. You deserve to try to be happy, Jonah.

So he steeled himself and walked up the path to the door. His hand trembled as he brought it up to the door to knock. Doctor Goodman answered the door. “Oh, hello, Jonah!”

“Hello, Sir,” Jonah swallowed and shoved the chocolates behind his back. “Is Cyrus around?”

“Yes, he is.” Doctor Goodman leaned behind the door and called for his son. “He’s coming,” he told Jonah. “Good luck.”

“Wh--What do you mean?”

“With the chocolates you’ve got behind your back,” Doctor Goodman smiled gently, his dark eyes crinkling. “I could see you pacing from the kitchen window.”

“Oh,” Jonah felt his cheeks heating up. “Thanks.”

And then Doctor Goodman was gone and Cyrus was there in his Spiderman PJ pants, looking sleepy and adorable, and Jonah felt a little sick.

“What’s up?” Cyrus asked brightly.

Jonah shoved the chocolates towards Cyrus. “These are for you.”

“What for?”

Jonah took a deep breath, trying to swallow the butterflies in his chest before he spoke. “I...I really like you.”

“Oh,” Cyrus smiled and opened the chocolates, pulling one out. “I like you, too!”

Jonah’s heart stopped. “You do?”

“Of course!” Cyrus popped the truffle into his mouth. “You’re one of my best friends.”

“Right…” Jonah sighed. “Well, I should, I should go.”

“That was all?”

Jonah nodded, tight lipped. “That was all.”

PLUS ONE

The Spoon was unusually quiet, but Cyrus was glad for it. He had a bit of a headache, and if the café had been too busy, he might not have been able to handle it. And that would’ve been a shame, because it was his and Buffy’s weekly gossip session. He wouldn’t miss it for the world.

He sidled up to Buffy’s table with a devilish grin already taking hold of his face. “Did you hear about Meredith Wheeler and Jesse King?”

“Ooh, no! Tell me!” Buffy exclaimed.

“Karen Tucker caught them making out under the bleachers.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “But Meredith is dating--”

“Marcus Bennett?” Cyrus smirked. “I know.”

“Wow.”

“I know.”

“I wish I had something that could top that,” Buffy shook her head. “All I got is the details on Andi and Walker’s last date. They went to a gallery opening, no surprise there.”

“I guess I win, then.” Cyrus laughed.

“Gossip is not a competition,” Buffy huffed.

“I thought everything was a competition with you.”

“Oh,” Buffy scoffed. “You don’t want to start a banter battle with me.”

“Hit me with your best shot,” Cyrus popped a Baby Tater into his mouth. “This is a free drag. Don’t squander it.”

“Okay,” Buffy paused, probably for dramatic effect, and then spoke evenly. “When are you going to put poor Jonah out his misery?”

“What?”

“C’mon, you can’t seriously be that oblivious. The way he looks at you, like a little lost puppy dog? All the romantic things he’s done for you? The heart cookies, the song at the talent show? Jonah is crazy about you.”

“The cookies were for all of us, and he only sang that song because he knows I like it,” Cyrus crossed his arms. Jonah did not have feelings for him. That was impossible.

“The cookies were for you, why else would he have been there early?”

Cyrus didn’t say anything.

“To give you the cookies before Andi and I got there. And the song? The love song he performed at the talent show, and said that you ‘inspired the choice’? Are you kidding?” Buffy’s voice cracked with the force of her disbelief.

Cyrus bit his lip. “But...I mean….He’s straight.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that? Has he told you that?”

“No, but! He liked Amber, and Andi.”

“You dated Iris, and besides, every heard of bisexuality?”

Cyrus sighed. “Point taken.”

Buffy gave a look that seemed to say: I’m always right.

“But I...He’s so...And I’m so…” And then it finally hit Cyrus. The box of chocolates. “I really like you.” The look on Jonah’s face as he’d left. He’s been trying to tell me this whole time, hasn’t he? Oh, God, I’m so stupid.

“Cyrus?”

“I….I have to go.” Cyrus stood up from the table. "Sorry."

“Don’t apologize. Go get your man!”

And then Cyrus was running, running, running. Down the street, past the bank, hooking a right at the gas station, and then he was standing in front of Jonah’s door, sweaty and breathless, cheeks pink, hair messy. He hesitated for a moment, catching his breath, and then knocked.

Jonah’s eight year old sister, Julie, answered the door.

“Cyrus!” she shrieked in delight at the sight of her second favorite babysitter (after her big brother, of course).

“Hey, Julie. Is Jonah around?”

“He’s practicing his guitar. I’ll go get him.”

And then Jonah was there, standing in front of him, in his Space Otters jersey and blue jeans and Cyrus couldn’t think of a single word.

“What’s up, Cy?”

“I…” Cyrus gulped, trying to catch his breath, though whether his heart was pounding from the run or the boy in front of him, he couldn’t say. “Uh.”

“Cyrus?”

“I’m sorry.” Once the words started they didn’t stop. “I’ve been such an idiot. This whole time, you’ve been trying to tell me how you feel, and I’ve been so oblivious.”

“Oh…” Jonah looked down at his feet.

“Jonah, look at me,” Cyrus said firmly, and Jonah did so, slowly. “The only reason I didn’t hear what you were trying to say, was because I wasn't listening. I didn’t think it was possible that you could like me the way that I like you. I mean, God. You’re charming and athletic and handsome, and you can cook! And I’m just...Cyrus.” Cyrus took a deep breath. “I know I’ve probably been hurting you, but I promise I didn’t know what I was doing. And I really like you a lot. So, can you find it in your heart to forgive me?”

“Cyrus…” Jonah’s voice cracked. “I don’t know…”

Cyrus’s heart sank.

“You might have to buy dinner to make it up to me.”

Jonah winked and Cyrus almost fainted.

“I’d love to.” Cyrus took a step toward Jonah, looking up into his sparkling green eyes. “Does, uh, Friday night work for you?”

Jonah mirrored Cyrus’s movements, and then somehow they were close enough for Cyrus to feel Jonah’s breath on his cheeks. “Friday sounds great.”

“G-Great.”

They stood there, silent, in the threshold to Jonah’s home, for the longest seven seconds of Cyrus’s life, before Jonah spoke again. “Cyrus?”

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.”

Kissing Jonah Beck was nothing like Cyrus had imagined. It wasn’t fast and awkward like kissing Iris. It was uncertain and different, but it wasn’t new, anymore than coming home after months or years away would feel new. It was familiar and warm and slow. Cyrus’s heart was beating so fast he was sure Jonah could feel it.

When they broke apart, Jonah, not ready for the moment to end, pressed his forehead against Cyrus’s and smiled.

“Hey, Cyrus?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m crazy about you.”

“Right back at you, Jo-Lamajama.”

[moonlightmystique]

sunshineseasoning​:

As Cy got close to his boyfriend (!!!) he absently noted the scent that the other man was wearing. He normally didn’t smell any kind of scent on Chandi, which made sense considering his profession but the scent that he picked tonight was enticing. “Truth be told, I was thinking of you as my boyfriend too but it is nice to have it be official, you know? I like the exclusivity too.” He worried for a moment if he might have overstepped by kissing Chandi without asking first but it seemed like the brief kiss was welcome. Especially with the murmured thank you he received. The crack about Facebook made him grin and laugh quietly, kissing Chandi’s cheek to take any sting out of the laugh and smelling the deep and sexy scent that lingered on his skin. “I will have to update mine as well,.. although I don’t think the change will be exactly surprising to my sister or mom.” He hummed and reluctantly let Chandi move back away towards the blender, not really wanting to be away from him now that he had gotten close. It definitely would make cooking the rest of their dinner and adventure. He peered into the blender to get a feel for how it should look. “Ahh, I see. Do you need me to hand you things or…? I know the blender is going to be doing most of the work now.”

There was very little Chandi now wanted more than to be wrapped up in Cyrus on the couch, the older man’s lips and stubble caressing his skin. Cyrus had always seemed more detached in general social situations, a sense of professionalism following him even when speaking with friends. But of what Chandi had seen on the flip side, as a lover he was very present and attentive, and he had already sensed passion lying deep within the other man. Chandi wanted to be his center of attention. Even the thought of just being alone and close together while dancing slowly made his heart pound. God, he needed a drink of the not-yet-finished lassi to cool himself off. “I think I have this from here. If we are to begin preparing dinner next, could you maybe possibly start peeling potatoes please? I’ve already gotten some out, we need two large ones peeled and cubed. I know it sucks but I’m the one in charge right now and you’re figuratively a child earning their place.” He flashed a grin, then brought the blender vessel up to his lips to sample the lassi in its present state, offering it to Cyrus to try as well. “This is pretty much how my dad makes it, which is perfectly fine. I’m going to add a little more sugar though, since the mangoes weren’t quite sweet enough on their own for me, and maybe a bit more curd for the consistency.” He quickly added in these last ingredient adjustments and blended them in, taking a sip when he was finished. “Did I mention we were cooking chicken tonight? I can’t remember. It won’t take terribly long as we’re using a masala I already made and was frozen. I think we’ll have it with rice, I would have gone with roti but I’m not patient enough to wait on dough.”

It's difficult to coordinate the right evening where they're both free and also won't be too exhausted or overwhelmed by work, so Chandi has been buzzing about this evening for days on end. Just about everyone he works with knows about the night he has planned with the man he's referred to several times as his boyfriend, even though no such official arrangement actually exists. It's enough to make his palms sweaty for the latter half of his workday, and he couldn't get home fast enough to make sure everything was clean and neat and he had every ingredient he was going to need. When he finds himself watching the hands on his watch tick every second, he has to fill a glass with cold water, drink some, and place the side of the vessel against his cheeks to help calm him through the dominant thoughts of being kissed senseless. When he hears a car door outside--definitely not the only one he's heard, it isn't like he lives in an abandoned wasteland--he flies out of his seat and hovers near the door, peering through the peephole to watch for Cyrus coming.

[lukin08]

A Major Life: Chapter 10

Rated: T for some swearing (TW: brief talk of pregnancy)

Previous chapters here

“Your leg kick’s too low.”

“Are you sure?”

“Plain as day.  About two inches off.”

The ball flew into the net.

“Back leg!  You’re off balance.”

Another ball whizzed to the net.

“Too low.”

“Which one?  My back or front leg!”

Cliff sighed, looking over at Kristoff.  “Both… Neither…  It changes each time.  And even when you’re lined up perfectly, you still have a hitch.  You’re hesitating.”

“No I’m not.”

Cliff gave an annoyed huff. “Fine.  Don’t listen to me.  Why’d you want me to watch you then?”

“Because,” Kristoff grunted, hurling another ball at the net.  “I don’t trust anyone else.”

“Am I telling you anything different than your pitching coaches?”

Kristoff paused.  “You’ve been watching me throw since I was nine.  There has to be something else you can see.”

Cliff shook his head. “I can’t fix what’s wrong, son.  It’s not your mechanics.”

Kristoff stopped before picking up another ball and gave Cliff a sour face.  “Just watch.”  

Cliff stood there observing a few more of Kristoff’s throws until he had enough.  “Kristoff, I counted 30 throws.  Time to stop, bud.”

“I’m not done.”

“When did you do bull pen last?”

“Yesterday.”

“Then you should be done now.  C’mon, let’s go inside.”

Another ball left Kristoff’s hand.  “I’m going light.  I’ll be fine.”

“You’re gonna blow your arm out for San Diego.”

“What difference does it make?” Kristoff reached into the bucket of balls.  “They’re gonna bench me any day.  Then probably send me to Iowa or god knows where.”  He looked directly at his dad.  “So, you’ll have to excuse me if I don’t give a fuck right now about San Diego.”

“And that is exactly why no one can help you.”

“Oh, they’re really going at it now,” Anna heard Bulda say.  “I knew that was a bad idea.”

Anna got up from the kitchen table too look out the window at the backyard next to where Bulda was standing.  Whatever had been going on seemed to be mostly over now. Cliff was walking away from Kristoff with his hands up in the air.  He stopped and turned back, pointing his finger at Kristoff and yelling something. He was a little too far away for Anna to make out what he was saying, but his voice was definitely raised.  Kristoff pulled a face and went to respond, but seemed to think better of it and turned away.

“They’ll be fine.  Just need to cool off for a few minutes,” Bulda said walking away from the window.  “Boy that just brought back some memories,” she laughed, gesturing at Anna to sit back down at the table.  Anna took one more lingering look at Kristoff before sitting down again.

“They used to bicker like that all the time when Kristoff was a boy,” Bulda said.  “But he always wanted Cliff out there with him.  Even when Kristoff started to get really good he’d wait for Cliff to get home from work and drag him in the backyard to watch.  They spent hours out there.”

Anna smiled watching Bulda laughing over the memory.  “Guess it helped to have a dad that pitched.”

“That it did.  Cliff loved teaching him and it worked for Kristoff. He always did better one-on-one. He hated having to go to the camps and be in front of the other boys even if he was the best one there.  It got to the point where it wasn’t worth spending the money on them and we just had Cliff keep training him… which led to a lot of arguments.  But Kristoff always listened to him in the end.”

“I never knew that,” Anna said.  “Kristoff just always said his dad taught him everything.”

“He pretty much did. Cliff’s got a way of seeing things that others can’t.   He knows how to grab that talent and mold it.  And he’s especially good with mechanics.”

“I bet he would have made a great pitching coach.”

“In another life, perhaps,” Bulda sighed.  “He’ll just have to settle for one star student in this one.”  Anna watched Bulda drift off in thought for a moment, before she snapped back.  She eyed the papers sitting between them and then shifted her focus to Anna.  “What do you have for me here that I’m going to have to keep straight?”

“It’s not that bad,” Anna chided Bulda playfully.   “Everything’s set.  I have it all in order for each person.”

“You did all this by yourself?”

“Of course,” Anna answered as it was nothing.  She reached for the top sheet, unaware of the look Bulda was giving her.  “I emailed the itineraries and confirmations numbers for flights and hotel out to everyone that I could, but I figured you’d want a master copy.”  

Anna started going over the itinerary she arranged with Bulda.  Everyone’s flight information and hotels with addresses and locations were all painstakingly mapped out to make things as easy as possible.  Nothing was left out.  Anna had even put a list of suggestions of activities during down time. The trip was only four days, but she wanted to make it memorable for everyone.

“Text me when you land,” Anna said after they had reviewed everything.  I don’t know exactly where we’ll be.  Kristoff has some obligations in the afternoon, but he may be done by the time you get to the hotel.  If everyone’s up to it, I thought we could all have dinner together.  I booked a place that has a private room so Kristoff will be more at ease knowing he won’t be approached.  With all the players and fans in town, people will be on the lookout.   You should see this place.  It has amazing views of the ocean and… Bulda?”

Bulda was sitting back in her chair looking at Anna in disbelief.  She quickly wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye.

“You did all of this? I didn’t think it was going to be all this.”

“It was nothing,” Anna said, waving her off.  

“These seats are in first class, aren’t they?”

“Just for you and Cliff. The others will have to manage in coach.”

Bulda let out a hefty laugh. “Good!  They wouldn’t appreciate it anyway.”  Her eyes settled back on Anna.  “Anna, this is too much.  You two already do so much for us.  I can’t… We can’t-“

“Yes you can.  And we don’t do that much.  It’s the All Stars and we want our family with us.  Besides, I think it’s the only thing that Kristoff is actually looking forward to while we're out there.”

The room fell silent after Anna’s last comment.  Bulda was still looking at Anna.  She squinted as if she was trying to gather up hints of information from Anna’s expression. Anna shifted uncomfortably in her seat under Bulda’s scrutiny.

“How’s everything at home?” Bulda finally asked.

“Okay, despite all that’s going on.  Kristoff’s doing a good job at keeping everything normal.  I think he likes the distraction.  I’ve been trying to talk to him, but I only get so far before he changes the subject or shuts down.”

“And you? How are you doing through all this?”                        

“Okay too, …I suppose.  Kristoff keeps asking me how I am.  He’s worried more about me and the baby than he is about himself.  But I’m doing alright- I’m managing.”

Bulda reached out to offer reassurance, placing her hand over Anna’s. “He’ll get through this, you know that, dear?”  

Anna nodded and made a point to smile again.  “I know.  He just puts so much pressure on himself.  I worry sometimes he doesn’t believe he’s worth anything if he can’t play. He’s so much more than the game. I wouldn’t care if-”  She trailed off looking back at the window, unsure if she was prepared to say what she almost did out loud.  

“That boy thinks the world of you.  Keep talking to him.  He listens to you.”  Bulda patted Anna’s hand.  “And you know I’m right here if you ever need to talk.”

“I know.  Thank you.”

 Kristoff saw Bulda walk up to him from the corner of his eye.  He ignored her at first, choosing to focus on the old tire swing he was now chucking balls through.  She came up to him, silently watching him throw the balls.

“I already apologized to dad,” Kristoff gruffed out hoping to stop any conversation she had planned.

“Figured as much.”  Bulda picked up a ball from the bucket and tossed it up and down a few times.  “I wonder how many of these you’ve thrown out here.”

“No idea.”

“Thousands for sure. Tens maybe.  You think?”

“I don’t know, maybe. What does it matter?”

“Everything.  All those hours you and dad put in, Kristoff. All the practices, all the games. It took years to get where you’re at.  A couple weeks isn’t going to erase all that.  And throwing balls out here until you can’t feel your arm isn’t going to fix anything either.”

“Ma-”

“I know you’d rather be out here alone stewing in what’s going on in that head of yours.  But, Kristoff this isn’t helping.”

Kristoff dropped his shoulders.  “You aren’t going to leave unless I talk to you are you?”

“Not a chance kiddo,” Bulda said.  “Enough with this.”

They walked up to the back deck and sat next to each other at the patio table.  Bulda wasted no time starting in.  “What’s all this nonsense Anna’s telling me about you not wanting to go to San Diego?”

Kristoff stopped a groan that threatened to come out of his mouth.  As much as he had been waiting for Bulda to bring it up, it still was the last thing he felt like talking about.  “Obviously I’m going.”

“I don’t understand why you aren’t excited.”

Kristoff shrugged.  “Not much to be excited about.”

“It’s the All Stars. I don’t believe you for a second,” Bulda retorted.  “Now tell me what the issue is.”

Kristoff knew she’d see right through him if he lied and there was no way he was going to be able to skirt around this.  He rubbed his eyes with his hand as he contemplated what to say.  Best to just get right on with it he figured.  “I don’t deserve it,” he said after a long pause.

“Excuse me,” Bulda fired back.  “What exactly don’t you deserve?”

“I only got picked because I won the Cy Young award last year.  I’d never make it based off this year.  Hell, I’m not even scheduled to pitch.  And everyone’s making such a big deal about it just to see me sit in the bull pen.”

“So that’s what this is all about.”  Bulda sat back in her chair.  Kristoff kept his focus towards the back yard, not daring to look at her.  After some time, she spoke again.  “So what, Kristoff?”

Kristoff turned his head to see Bulda looking at him crossly.  

“So what if you don’t like how you’re playing this year.  You should have made the team last year, but you didn’t.  So take the honor now because you do deserve it and I don’t want to hear that come out of your mouth again,” she said, leaning towards him and jabbing a finger into his arm.  “And you know what?  We are going to make a big deal about you. Because of all those damn balls you and dad threw out here and all those games I had to drive you to for years. I never wanted to see a baseball game again the rest of my life by the time you got out of high school!”

His laugh came out natural and full at the memory.  “Guess that didn’t work out so well for you did it?”

“You’re telling me!   And now between you, dad coaching again and Jack dragging me to all his high school games, I don’t think I’ll ever escape it.”

They both laughed again until a quiet settled between them.  In the background, Kristoff could hear Karoline playing with his younger brother and sister.  Her giggles brought a grin to his face.  

Bulda bumped her shoulder against Kristoff’s.  “Haven’t seen that smile for a few weeks.  Glad it’s still there.”

“Yeah, well you know.”

“Hun, I know how much stress you are under and I worry about you.  Be careful.  You can make bad choices right now with everything that’s going on.  I don’t want you to look back at anything with regret. …Including not enjoying this trip.”

Kristoff nodded his head to Bulda.  “I’ll try to remember that.  And I am happy everyone’s coming out to see me.  I shouldn’t have said that before.”

“It hit me today that this is the first trip I’ll be on with all my children.  We never were able to go on one with all the age differences. I don’t think you know how much that means to me.”

“That was all Anna,” Kristoff explained.   “She planned everything.”

“You are so lucky to have her in your life.”

Kristoff laughed.  “So I’ve been told numerous times.  But, yes I absolutely am.”

Bulda and Kristoff both turned their heads to the sound of the screen door opening.  Karoline came out and headed to Kristoff.  She climbed up on his lap and leaned against him.  “Mommy’s done with her nap.  Can we go home?”

Kristoff adjusted Karoline so she was turned to him.  He held her up higher as she snuggled closer, resting her head on his chest with both arms around his neck.  “Are you tired, bug?”  Karoline nodded her head.  Kristoff kissed the top of her head.

“You should get going. You have an early flight tomorrow.” Bulda went to stand, but Kristoff grabbed her hand.

“Thanks, ma.  For everything.”

Bulda stopped and smiled at him.  “I don’t know how to fix what’s going on right now.  If I could kiddo, I would.  It hurts me every second to see you struggle.  But I’m proud of you, Kristoff.  Dad’s proud of you.  Anna’s proud of you.  We all are.” She looked down at Karoline. “This one is so excited to see her daddy at the All Stars that she talks about it non-stop.  And she’s old enough that she may actually remember some of this. Promise me you’ll think about that this week, okay?”  

“I will.”

The bedroom was already dark when Kristoff walked in.  He stripped down to his underwear and slowly got into bed as to not disturb Anna.

“I’m awake.  The light was just bothering me,” she said from somewhere under the covers.

Kristoff slipped behind her and pulled up the blankets before moving his hand to rest gently around Anna.  He kissed her on one of his favorite spots just behind her ear and closed his eyes.

“I saw you talking to your mom.  How did that go?”

Kristoff heard the tension in Anna’s voice.  He hated that he was making her worry so much.  She hadn’t brought up anything from earlier in the day.  He knew she was holding back, trying to give him space and he felt incredibly guilty that he had been avoiding talking to her about everything that was going on.  Just hearing Anna’s worry made him realize he needed to open up more to her like he knew she wanted him to.  

“Umm, good.  I think?”  He felt Anna shift and before she could say anything, he added, “I promised her I’d enjoy this week and I’ll make the same promise to you.”  This time Anna managed to turn all the way around and Kristoff could make out her smile as his eyes adjusted to the dark.  “I know I haven’t been open to you as much as I should be. You’ve been so amazing and god Anna, there’s so many times I think I don’t deserve you…   Just know that I appreciate it all and…  and I’ll try to do a better job talking to you about all this.”

Anna reached her arm up to curl her hand around his neck.  “I’m going to hold you to that,” she said and pulled him down to her to give him a good, proper kiss.

Ending that kiss was difficult.  He wanted to push farther, but he knew Anna was tired and they had a big day ahead of them tomorrow.  Kristoff had to admit he was exhausted as well.  He hadn’t been sleeping well for the past few weeks and the thought of not having to worry about a game that counted for the next eight days was a relief. His eyes were heavy and he hoped he’d be able to get some much needed rest tonight.  Anna turned back around and they settled back down again.

“My last official trip,” Anna said.  “Before the baby that is.”

Kristoff slightly tightened his arm around Anna.  “You’re completely sure you are up for this?”

“The doctor said I was fine to fly.  I just need to make sure I rest enough.”

“She also said your blood pressure was up.”

“Slightly up, but nothing to be concerned about.  You heard that with your own ears directly from her, so don’t dwell on that like I know you have been.”

“It’s my job to worry about the three of you.  But as long as you’re up to it, I trust you.”

“Smart man. Now I just hope I can get some sleep even though Kyle is kicking up a storm tonight.”

“Stop calling him that.”

“Goodnight Kristoff.”  

The lightness was back in Anna’s voice, even if only for a second.  It had a calming effect on Kristoff as he drifted off.  He slept sound that night, dreaming about something else other than baseball for the first time in weeks.