#i like going onto fataltotheflesh.com HOWEVER something about that/most other harm reduction(?) activities makes me feel like it stil
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When the urge hits but you're literally just trying to sleep so you can't even do anything Productive about it
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#sh tw#<- if the people find me they find me. hello.#is this anything#remembering all my embarrassing guard breakdowns and getting re-embarrassed + mad about it hours hello#worried the upcoming season is gonna be worse#worried my consult in october isn't gonna work out even though i thought i had a good shot at it#kinda just want to sleep .......#... have to take kitten to the vet soon and i just . dont want to#what is it when its not quite agoraphobia but its not really 'normal' social anxiety either#(spoiler: it's being autistic)#i was almost over it i thought but recently nightly sh thoughts have been returning. want else is new :q#i want to do somethiiiing about my appearance and i'm strongly considering a buzz cut again but ... what if i look bad LMAO#i just don't want to suffer through half a guard season looking like a girl again idk#other option is to try and re-pierce my ear since it's all but healed as far as i can tell#should i get it professionally done? JESUS YES also i could have two ears pierced again instead of just the one#will i? absolutely not.#OH right by productive i mean like . like all those sh alternatives you hear about#i like going onto fataltotheflesh.com HOWEVER something about that/most other harm reduction(?) activities makes me feel like it stil#*still counts somehow. i may have a menthol illnés
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