#i like angsty dynamic as much as the next guy i promise you

[braisedhoney]

okay hear me out.

“i would die for you” but in a i would sacrifice my next quiet sunrise for you kind of way. in a i would easily trade my next glass of refreshingly crisp cold water for you kind of way. in a i would take the blanket from my shoulders on a humid but cold night and wrap it around you while you sleep instead kind of way. in a i would sacrifice the first moment i spent looking up at the night sky away from light pollution and give it to you instead kind of way.

“i would die for you not because my life has no value, but because to me, yours has so much value that it is worthy of that and more”. that kind of way.

idk if that’s my favorite character dynamic (i am a sucker for angst) but it’s up there. somewhere.

[jensthwa]

show & tell pt. 2 (SMG x reader).

part of the love's an uncharted path universe ★.

SUMMARY:

After the… masterclass you gave Mingi the night before, you’re left anxious on what the future holds for you both. But there’s a pool party you promised you would attend and there’s not really time for you to figure your feelings out before your best friend shows up at your door to drive you to it. So maybe today is not the day to figure your feelings out, right? It’s just a pool party anyways, so nothing out of the ordinary is going to happen… right?

PAIRING: best friend!mingi x afab reader.

GENRE: childhood best friends (idiots) to lovers.

WORD COUNT: 11k.

WARNINGS: SMUT ☽ (MINORS DNI) anxiety attack, attempt !!! at comedy, wooyoung being a little shit part two ft jongho, a new oc being the voice of reason, reader is clueless and in denial i fear, jealousy, miscommunication, fighting so this part is just a tiny bit angsty :(, confessions, teasing, face sitting, hand job, car sex (don't do it in public people, it can get you arrested), pet names (love and baby), a plot line at the end none of you guys are going to get until my new wip drops but it's worth the wait!

NOTES: hey everyone! thank you so much for patiently waiting for this second and last part to drop. i think that, after this one, if you guys want to request any drabbles or if i come up with some scenarios for this couple i will post them but for now nothing is on the works. what is on the works is a wip that's part of the same universe as this one, so pay attention to the new characters i mention if you want any clues! this is 100% self indulgent, as all fics should be, and i think i've re-read it so many times that if you find a typo or something that just doesn't make sense, you can blame it on english not being my first language i guess lmao. i hope you enjoy it and if you do feel free to send to my askbox/reblog/type in any feedback or thoughts! <3

POSTED: july 28th 2024.

TAGLIST (sorry if i forgot anyone, pls let me know!): @vannerriin / @mingtinysworld / @purple-bell / @bakepotatoman / @nxy3h / @taehyungmami / @nxcxllxsevens / @breadpuddingboys / @hotteokkay

masterlist.

When you wake the next morning, the consequences of restless sleep show up in your face as a reminder of what happened the night before. 

It's not that you regret it, it's more the fact that you feel so unapologetic about messing with the perfect dynamic you have with Mingi that caused you to toss and turn so much. 

Last night, after putting your duvet back on and then crashing into the mattress feeling all tingly and giddy, you asked yourself a thousand questions. 

The main one being: What the fuck did you do? 

The words kept repeating over and over in your head, your voice of reason (or your anxiety) screaming at you to get your phone and make it right before everything becomes a complicated, unresolvable mess. 

You had a brief moment of panic and heavy breathing, your chest tight with unspoken emotion and your eyes filled with tears. 

It was too much, so you forced yourself up and paced around for what felt like hours trying to get your feet back on the ground. Nothing was working, so you sat down at your desk and rested your forehead against it. 

When you didn't feel the usual coolness of the wood, a comfort sensation for when your studies got the best out of you for the day, and instead felt a pen almost stab you in the eye, you -very confused- leaned back. 

Mingi’s notebook and the pen he didn't put back on the pencil case seemed to stare back at you lovingly instead of mocking you for losing control over your own emotions. 

A sense of peace washed over you when you flipped the pages and landed on the instructions he wrote down. Memories of the amazing years you have had by his side started crossing your mind, like recomforting flashes that allowed your heartbeat to go back to normal: 

The first day you saw Mingi, chasing behind a worn out soccer ball and then kicking it so hard it landed on your lawn. 

The first time you two hugged, when your dad scolded you for having bad grades until you cried in front of him. 

The way he held your hand before heading inside to take the college admission exam, last year of highschool. 

His kind eyes. His reassuring smile. The way he made you feel just a few hours back. 

There's no getting rid of me either, love.

We'll figure it out. 

Letting a few contained tears run down your cheeks, you nodded to yourself as if he was there in the room with you. 

Yeah, you'll figure it out.  

And then proceeded to, very much, not figure shit out for the rest of the night. You could still feel his hands everywhere and hear his voice against your ear whispering how much he knows you and pays attention to you. 

You are fucked. 

It's all you can think about when you get ready for the day. It's all you can think about when you help your dad with lunch and when you let your parents know at the table that you are going out that same afternoon. 

“Mingi is driving you, right?” 

“Yeah…” you whisper in response, eyes focused on one specific spot at the table and mind a million years away from the conversation. 

“Good. He's such a good kid, Y/N, I'm glad he knows how to take care of you.” 

Choking on air when your brain finally catches up to her words, you look back up at your mother in shock “W-what?” 

“Yeah honey, what? Y/N can take care of herself,” your father chips in, unaware of your red cheeks or the honest expression of panic you're giving both of them “She's a big girl that carries around that, uh… What was it?— Ah, that pepper spray I gave her, right?” 

“R-right.” 

He lets out a satisfied see? at your answer, gives you a tiny smile and gets up from the table to take his finished plate over to the sink. 

Your mom stays behind, giving you a look you can't quite read before her usual calm expression washes it away. Only then, you can take a proper, very needed, calming breath. 

“I need to get ready. Thank you for the food.” 

“You made it, dear.” 

“I mean! For taking care of the, uh, plates,” you clumsily correct yourself right away, getting up from the table as well “Love you. Bye!” 

You don't miss the confused giggle on your way to your room and when you're behind closed doors, you finally take into consideration that you might be, in fact, overreacting.

Not much, you think, but just enough to give your feelings away. And it's truly a shame, because you were planning on concealing and bottle everything up until it, inevitably, blows up in your face. 

Maybe not the smartest option. 

If you bang your head against the wall with enough force maybe, just maybe it’ll help—

Someone's texting you. 

> gi: heeeeey > gi: just woke up lol > gi: had the best sleep ever tho > gi: how are you, love? 

Okay. So normal texting it is. Maybe your initial plan of just pretending nothing happened is, coincidentally, Mingi’s plan as well. 

So you type in it's literally almost one, ya lazy and let your thumb hover over the send button, eyebrows creased at a sudden realization. 

The casual texting annoys you. 

Sure, Mingi is used to keeping everything casual between him and the people he sleeps with, but you're not just anyone! You didn't sleep together, either! 

Oh, maybe that's why. 

But it ticks you off either way. 

Is he not feeling the same way you do? Did it mean something different for him than it did to you? What did it even mean to you in the first place?

Why, after all the panic you felt the night before, did you have any sort of expectation for today? 

It doesn't make any sense. 

You hit send. 

> gi: aaaaand?  > gi: god forbid a man gets a good night's rest after being thrown off a bed. 

Scoffing, your eyes roll before you can even control it and, to your demise, the giddiness returns. You respond with did you get hurt? awww and raise a hand to your blushed cheek before sending the message.

> gi: yeah wtf  > gi: my butt is all bruised.  > gi: kiss it better? 

Oh. 

Not casual texting. At. All. 

Or maybe it is? 

Ugh.

Blanking on everything Mingi has ever texted you before, you decide it's best to entertain yourself by getting all pretty to sit around the house party tonight and do nothing else instead of torturing your confused brain any longer. 

Using the help of an emoji to flip him off and, hopefully, gather yourself together enough to get ready, you shoot him another text rushing him to do the same because you don't want to be late. 

And he usually takes forever to get ready anyways.

Showering with very cold water, taking a good thirty minutes to decide whether to wear something comfy and fitting or sexy and fitting for the party do the job when it comes to taking your mind off him for, at least, the time being. 

Yunho was insistent the day before in that you didn't need to bring a bathing suit if you didn't want to, but you pack one anyways because you can sense Wooyoung's and Jongho’s intentions even if the youngest couldn't make it to your impromptu gathering yesterday. 

They know you hate when they get away with annoying you and throwing you into the nearest body of water -in this case, Yunho’s pool- in front of many people you don't know (therefore, you are not going to able to go insane mode on them) seems like the perfect opportunity to get away with it.

The last time they did it you weren't really able to scold them properly either, so they laughed and pointed at you until you threatened to kick their asses in a very dishonest but playful way. 

Mingi, of course, did nothing but laugh along with everyone else and then kiss your forehead as an apology later that day. 

That was last summer and since then both perpetrators have treated you to meals and buttered you up enough for you to forgive (as if you didn't do that the morning that followed the incident) but you never forget. 

Maybe you should. It would make the sight of Mingi parking outside your house easier, you think.

You're sure he's parking outside just to give your dad, who comes out to greet him with a hug, some peace of mind. He's very protective of you and he trusts Mingi even if he gives him a hard time everytime he sleeps over or takes you somewhere.  

Like now, you have a very clear view through your window of the sermon he's giving your best friend. You don't hear it but he's moving his hands in the air way too much for it not to be a clear step by step on what to do if you run into any trouble on the way to Yunho's. 

Mingi likes step by step and he's good at following instructions, so you don't think it's going to be an issue. 

God damnit, Y/N, get it together. 

Sighing, you pick up your bag, check your outfit once in front of the mirror, and rush downstairs and out of the door. 

“You do know how to change a tire, son?” 

Mingi is standing in front of your dad with his hands behind his back and a tight smile. 

“Yes sir, my dad taught me and then at the school they made sure I didn't forget about it.” 

“And make sure to—” 

“Could you let the guy breathe, dad?” 

They both turn to, your dad wears a mocking smile and you see Mingi’s tight one breaks into a genuine one a second later. A grateful one, even. 

He looks really good. Which is insane, considering that to you he looked like Chewbacca just yesterday morning. 

Crazy what a good orgasm can do to a person. Or maybe it's the first time you ever let yourself see him in this light. Either way, he's wearing light wash jeans and a fitted t-shirt that clings to him just right and it's going to drive you insane, you can just feel it. 

“I was just making sure that he—” 

“Knows what to do,” you nod “He knows what he's doing, dad. Stop giving him a hard time,” you give your dad a quick kiss on the cheek and then rush to the passenger seat, giving Mingi a glance so he can get in the car as well. 

“Alright. Love you, take care!” 

“Love you too, Mr. L/N!” Mingi says, getting into his seat and giving your dad the opportunity to see when he fastens his seatbelt. He doesn't say anything else, even though he didn't tell Mingi specifically that he loved him and instead gives you both a nod of approval. 

When Mingi finally drives off your street and into the main one, you sigh in relief. 

“He's neeever going to trust me, huh?” 

“He trusts you,” you say right away, cheek resting against the seat so you can take a proper look at him “I'm his only daughter and you're a man after all. Cut him some slack.” 

“He never cuts me some slack!” he fights back but you just laugh and he can't help but join you “You look really good, by the way. A dress? Are you trying to impress someone?” The tone he uses sparks the remaining tension from the night before, like zero time has passed since he kissed you goodnight by your front door. 

When you got into the car with Mingi, you didn't consider that you two would be alone for, at least, forty minutes before getting to your destination. Your mind skipped the fact that he has this new ability to fluster you by just existing near you and you curse it for not letting you prepare well enough for the way he's looking at you right now. 

“Obviously,” you answer in a whisper, clearing your throat a second later “Wooyoung needs to be distracted so he doesn't tackle me into the pool the second we get there. Don't know if it's gonna work on Jongho, though.” 

Mingi clicks his tongue, baring his teeth and pretending to really think about it “I don't think so, love. You'll have to bribe him into considering dropping their whole summer schtick for you.” 

“You can help me with that.” 

“Can I now?” 

“Yeah. You can just… lock him up in a room and my dress can do the rest of the work.” 

Your best friend laughs and then takes a hand off the steering wheel to roll the hem of your dress in between his thumb and index. His knuckles brush against your thigh and you almost -almost- make a noise at the sensation. 

“It's not the dress, love… It's who's wearing it.” 

A bit of silence passes within the both of you. 

“Shut the fuck up, Song Mingi.” 

Laughter fills the car and drowns out the honking on the other side of the street and you wonder why you were worried in the first place. 

Nothing has changed. 

Aside from the intention laced with the flirting, it feels the same way it ever did and you couldn't be more glad because now that you know Mingi doesn't hate you (like you thought for a brief moment last night) or wants to hard launch a relationship that doesn't exist to your friends the second he gets them all together in the same room, you can enjoy the car ride and the evening that's about to follow it.

So you flirt with him freely, listen and sing along to songs that just feel like summer summarized in three minutes of exquisite writing and roll your window down once Mingi takes a turn into a hill, trees replacing the buildings you're so used to seeing. 

Your friend is rich rich. His family makes good money and his parents go on lots of business trips. That being said, it's the first time you actually attend one of his parties, and so when you get to Yunho’s house and ring the doorbell, you’re caught by surprise because you can already hear the loud music playing in the backyard and the blend of new and familiar voices through the thick door. 

You expect him to open the door for you but Seonghwa’s smile is the first thing you see before you and Mingi both have the opportunity to step in. 

“You made it!” 

“It's pretty hard to miss this house, Hwa.” 

Your older friend side-hugs you and stays by your side while Mingi takes it upon himself to put your bags for the day in the pile of other bags next to the door “How are you doing today?” 

You're about to answer but when you look at him, you see him staring at Mingi, so you do too. He's staring at Hwa with a little smile “I'm doing good. I blocked her and everything and I can confidently say that…” he turns to you “My ego’s not bruised anymore.” 

If Seonghwa catches the spark between you and you best friend, he decides to ignore it “That's goo—” 

“Mingi!” 

What the hell is she doing here? 

Not, not that bitch from yesterday but this girl who Mingi meets with sometimes. You don't really know her, you just know she's gorgeous and that her name starts with an h, maybe? 

She's a fashion major and it shows in the way she's dressed up today. Truly, an enjoyable company whenever she's around at frat parties, a saving grace when you're tired of surrounding yourself with only men. 

Right now? She's your worst nightmare. 

Wrapping her arms around Mingi’s neck and getting on her tippy toes to kiss his cheek, she smiles like she knows she's getting laid tonight and your best friend does nothing to pull her away. 

She doesn't even say hi to you before dragging him to the backyard! You and Seonghwa follow them and when she takes Mingi’s arm and pulls him over to -you assume- introduce him to her friends, you almost stomp your feet like a little kid. 

Trying to get rid of the annoyed frown on your face, you turn to Hwa with a teasing smile and your eyebrows raised. 

“Well fuck me, am I right?” 

“I might!” Arms wrap around your waist and you feel Woo’s chin resting on your shoulder immediately after “That's a very nice dress, Y/N.” 

If Mingi was next to you, like you want him to be, you would give him a I told you so glance. Instead, you just look at Seonghwa with absolute horror before he snickers and goes away. 

“Right? And it looks horrible when it's drenched in nasty chlorine water.” 

“You can't possibly know that.” 

“I know a lot of things and— No! Woo, please don't,” you beg when he lifts you off the ground for a second. Behind you, you hear laughs and, even though you can't see them, you know it's San and Jongho “I just got here and I haven't even changed yet, please.” 

He turns you around and hugs you properly this time before letting you go. You take the opportunity to punch him in the arm and then go over to San and Jongho to do the same. 

“We'll let you get your swimsuit on this time.” 

“You're so considerate, Jong. Seriously, they're going to give you the Nobel prize if you don't stop.” He mocks you, repeating what you just said in a higher pitched voice and you laugh as you sit next to Wooyoung’s ex-girlfriend, Gyuri. 

San also has a girl sitting beside him with his arm around her, but you don't really know her so you just wave at her. They're all in their bathing suits already “See how he tried to flirt with me to try to get me with my guard down? He's a monster.” 

“And in front of me, too? The nerve on this guy.” Gyuri, of course, backs you up immediately and you want to return her smile, but you can see Mingi from the corner of your eye and it's distracting. 

“Oh, they're ganging up on me already,” Wooyoung whines, sitting down in front of you both and handing you a drink “It's like my worst nightmare.” 

“He's enjoying it, don't let him convince you otherwise,” San says, getting up from his seat and taking his girl with him “Especially coming from you.” He points at Gyuri and you laugh. 

“We're just friends now!” 

“That's what you told me like three years ago before—” 

Wooyoung gets up to chase after him and San lets go of the girl's hand to try to get away from him. 

Turns out, you're not the one Woo tackles into the pool. This time, him and San crash down on the water hard and a few droplets of water wet your feet. Gyuri laughs and everyone else does too when they realize what's happening. 

Jongho gets up and joins them in the water soon after to try and help (kinda, not really) San escape the wrath of his best friend. 

You almost miss it, because you take the opportunity to look at your best friend and, when you do, he's already looking at you. 

Breath catches on your throat and the lump that forms afterwards has a name and a reason: Mingi is looking at you with so much longing it physically hurts. 

He looks like wants to drop everything and come and confuse your fragile mind even more, just like he did the night before. 

Then why the fuck is he there with whatever her name is and her friends and not sitting right next to you? 

You look away, grasping your drink for emotional support and convincing yourself you're starting to see things that are not actually there. 

“Why the fuck are y'all fighting this time?!” Yunho comes from inside the house and it's the first time you see him today “No choking! No running! It's literally in the rules!” 

“Wooyoung please let go of my boyfriend!” 

Ah. So she is San’s girlfriend. Still, you turn to Gyuri to ask. 

“Who is sh—” 

“San’s new girlfriend, Kyungmi. We don't give a fuck about her or San right now, we're mad at them,” you want to ask who we is, because Wooyoung seems like he's just playing, but she interrupts you again “What the fuck is going on with you and Mingi?” 

Huh?! 

You make a quick mental review of your plan. Conceal? Clearly it didn't work. Bury your emotions deep so no one notices? You probably can't recover from the way you smile just dropped. 

The only thing left on the list is pretend that you're insane, but you're not sure it'll work either. So you turn it on her: “Nothing much. He played Espresso like three times on a row on the way here and I almost kill him, but—” 

“You can't bullshit me, Y/N.” 

Great, that didn't work either. 

“I saw that. Seonghwa did too but he got up before I could convince him to ambush you,” she dramatically sighs, chugging the rest of her drink down “So, what is going on?” 

“Nothing,” that much is true “he's literally with a girl right now.” 

“And she will never mean as much to him as you do. Next.” 

“Gyuri… I really don't know what you want me to say.” 

Squinting her eyes at you suspiciously, Gyuri takes her time before answering and you fidget in your seat a little. Wooyoung liked her for a reason, she's feisty and goes straight to the point and it's something you usually admire but right now it's not the time for her to do this. 

“I just thought maybe it finally happened…” She whispers and shrugs the entire conversation off before getting up “Let's head inside. They're going to start grilling meat at any second and I also don't want to be near Wooyoung when he gets out of there.” She points at him and you laugh. 

Jongho has him in a chokehold and Yunho is trying to separate them while San desperately swims towards his girl that's still waiting for him near the edge of the pool. 

“Sure thing.” 

You pretend you don't feel Mingi's eyes on you as you move. 

This is not unusual. Whenever you all go to parties, hosted by someone inside of the friend group or not, you end up separating from Mingi. 

He does his thing. He's outgoing and he likes dancing while you enjoy conversation and drinking away at the rest of the party, occasionally making out with someone and calling it a night when your social battery runs out. 

So you hang out with Gyuri in the kitchen until the sun starts going down and when the last ray of it disappears you decide it's time to swim a bit before you're too tipsy for it to be safe. 

Grabbing your bag and greeting some new people you don't know at the door, you head up to the bathroom you are told by the host himself it's upstairs. 

When you're tying up the strands of your swimsuit, the door slams open and you jump and cover yourself up with your hands because you're not able to finish the job, so the strands fall down and the only thing holding the top part of the fabric it's you. 

“What the fuck, Mingi?” 

Turning around, you're only able to look at him through the mirror. 

“Lock the door next time! What if it was somebody else?” 

“People usually knock!” 

“I didn't mean to scare you, it's the door’s fault,” he makes a fool of himself trying to prove it “See? I— let me help you with that,” he closes the door again and, this time, he locks it before taking a short step and grabbing the strands of your top “It's the second time this week I scare you like that, huh? I’m sorry, love.” He ties the strands together with a secure knot and his apology finally allows your tense muscles to relax. 

You remind yourself that there's no valid reason for you to be mad at him. You'll figure it out, he said it himself, and maybe today is not the day to do so. 

But he's not stepping away once he's finished, he's not even saying anything else before his hands grab your waist and his chest collides to your back. 

Looking at him through the mirror again, you silently ask him with your eyes what he thinks he's doing. He ignores you, bending down so the tip of his nose can trace the skin on the side of your neck. 

“I missed you,” his voice sounds like honey when he says it and you, once again, curse the ability he has to make you crumble “and you disappeared like an hour ago.” 

You let out a sigh. 

“I was in the kitchen, Mingi, not missing and we were in the same space for at least twenty minutes before that and like… forty minutes in a car, together.” You remind him and he frowns “Besides, you were with Ha… Haneul?” 

“Hanni,” he corrects and you huff out a whatever “and she was introducing me to some of her friends that are in the same major as me, just a year over.” 

“Cool.” 

He pecks your shoulder. You do your best to not melt completely into him and fix your hair in the mirror. 

“Y/N…” he starts and you hum in acknowledgement “I missed you.” 

It pisses you off for some reason. The mature thing to do is to let him know but the words that leave you are petty and laced with annoyance. 

“I’m sure you did, buddy.” 

He grins against your skin and you turn around to face him, eyebrow raising. 

“What's so amusing?” 

At your tone, he seems taken aback but his smile stays curving his lips upwards.

“I'm just really happy to have this moment with you,” he says, matter of factly, and you press your hands against his chest to regain some personal space. He doesn't budge an inch “What's going on?” 

He's such a guy sometimes. 

“You're here, kissing my neck, while a gorgeous girl who I'm sure is waiting for you downstairs is probably bragging to her friends about how she's going home with you tonight and—” 

“Y/N, I'm literally taking you home.” 

“I can easily take a car back— Mingi, seriously,” taking a deep breath, you stare at him with all the honesty you can gather “I don't want to do whatever this is if afterwards you're going downstairs to dance and flirt with Haneul or whatever her name is.” 

He looks like he wants to correct you on it again, so you level him with a daring glance. 

He keeps his mouth shut. 

“And I also don't want you to hurt her feelings if you tell her you can't leave with her tonight, so—” 

“I don't give a shit about her feelings, love.” 

“Mingi, don't say that!” 

“I don't! I wasn't flirting with her at all, either! Listen, it's…” he stops to chuckle for a few seconds “I mean, it's adorable that you're jealous but there's no reason for you to—” 

“Shut the fuck up, Song Mingi.” 

It's the second time today you have said those exact words to him. The first time, you also felt your heart bang with such force against your rib cage but for a completely different reason. 

“I'm not one of the girls you fuck on the side when you're horny or bored out of your mind. Don't fucking treat me like one.” You warn and suddenly the image of you telling him that teaching him yesterday could mess you both up crosses your mind.  

“I'm not, Y/N! I'm just saying that you look adorable when you're—” 

“Jealous? Why would I be jealous when we are not together, Mingi? I'm literally looking out for the girl!” 

“You don't even know her name, love.” 

“That's not the fucking point!” 

He finally takes a step away from you, closing his eyes and taking a calming breath, surely.

Now you're pissed off because he saw right through you and your words. 

That disgusting weight on your chest you felt back by the pool while you kept staring at him from the corner of your eye? Jealousy. 

Now that he brought it up, it makes sense. 

You hate it. 

You always hated being put in a position where you felt the need to compare yourself to others. Always hated how easy it is for anger to run through your blood and infiltrate every waking thought until it clouds your judgment. 

Because you shouldn't be angry. He just said he didn't care about her feelings. 

And yet, all you can think about is that he spent an hour with her instead of you. 

When he turns to you, there's a storm in his eyes and you just don't want to hear it tonight. 

“Save it, keep it, sleep on it and we'll talk tomorrow,” picking your dress from the spot on the floor it's been sitting all this time, you put the fabric on, take your bag and then unlock the door “I’m going home.” 

You don't give him the opportunity to say anything else before getting out of the bathroom but you do hear a groan when you're rushing downstairs. 

Yeosang and Yunho are just leaving the kitchen when you trip on the last step and the host jogs the few steps to you after laughing. 

“There you are, Y/N. Listen, there's some meat already grilled back there but we're—” 

“I'm actually going home, Yun,” you cut him short “I'm not feeling that well. My plan was to swim a little before leaving but I don't think I can do it.” 

“Did something happen or…?” 

What happened is coming downstairs as he asks. 

“Nope. Nothing, I just think I'm catching a cold or something. Thank you so much for inviting me though!” You hug your friend quickly, kissing his cheek before pulling away. 

“Always…” Yunho is very observant but, as you always do, he doesn't press you with questions about what's going on “He's taking you home?” Pointing behind you, you don't have to turn around to get what he means. 

“Ye—” 

“No. He's having a great time here, I don't want to get in the way,” you shrug “I'll just get an uber or something. Don't worry.” 

Yunho frowns slightly, eyes moving from your face to over your shoulder. 

Immature. Petty. Rude. 

You're sure that's the way you’re coming off right now. But feeling anger bubbling behind the smile you give Yunho, you think it's better they make their assumptions instead of actually seeing you upset. 

You move to hug Yeosang as well and he murmurs his farewell. When you turn around, Mingi is no longer there and you don’t spare a look towards the floor to ceiling glass windows that separate the living area from the backyard because you're sure he's sitting right beside that girl again. 

As he should be. 

You bolt for the door, giving your friends a tiny smile before going down the few steps and into the hill. It's already dark and you're sure no uber driver it's going up this hill for the tip you're able to offer them, so you figure your best shot is to go down and try to find a cab on the main street. 

The light from your phone illuminates your scowl as you walk. Past the bushes and the trees and the lines of parallel parked cars where Mingi’s Lexus is. 

You don't notice him there until he opens the backdoor to block your step. 

“Get in the car, I'm taking you home.” 

Closing the door he just opened to stop you, you shake your head. 

“I told you I'm getting a ride and—”

“I don't give a fuck. Get in the car.” And then he's opening his door and closing it so fast it gives you no room for debating. 

He's angry. Shit. 

You can't even see him through the tinted window to assess how much damage you have done, so you look down the hill one more time and wonder if making the run for it is worth it. 

When your phone lights up with a notification from Gyuri asking you if everything's okay and to make it home safe, you take it as a sign to round the car and get into the passenger side with an annoyed huff. 

The engine comes to life. You're not looking at him but at the trees until the leaves start showing the building lights in-between them and soon you're on the main road. 

You can't even ask him to turn the radio on. Stubborn, you refuse to let the anger inside of you dissipate in fear of shame taking over. It's better being angry than being ashamed, at least in this exact moment because you can practically feel Mingi's anger through the silent treatment. 

But you need to say something. The silence is suffocating and the street is surprisingly empty so you can't distract yourself with anything. 

“You shouldn't have bothered.” 

“I am bothered. You bothered me.” 

Clenching your jaw, you turn to him in disbelief “I told you to stay at the goddamn party so we can fix this tomorrow but I bothered you?”

“Did I stutter or something?” 

“No, you're just not making any fucking sense!” 

“Yeah, fuck this,” you see him look around, biting the inside of his cheek like he's holding his words in “We're fixing this right now.” 

The car makes a harsh turn and you have to grab the door for support. 

“Mingi!” He's not listening to you anymore. His hard gaze stays on the road, it feels like forever before he pulls into a somewhat empty parking lot and when the vehicle stops you go to open the door and get the fuck away from him before you two kill eachother inside this car. 

That's an exaggeration but with the way he turns off the car and unbuckles his seatbelt, you know your pride doesn't stand a chance. 

The summer breeze briefly hits your face before his hand is on yours, closing the door and preventing you from, once again, escaping the situation. 

Frustrated, you let out a loud groan “What the fuck is your problem?!” 

“I don't know, Y/N! But I'll tell you what your problem is, alright?” he chuckles. It's a humorless sound, his face painted in something you've never seen before “Your problem is that you assume you know what everyone else is feeling and you assume you're right. But intuition can only get you so far, love, so I need you to take your head out of your ass and think logically for a second.” 

Flabbergasted, you think you murmur something in your defense but he cuts you short. 

“No! You didn't let me get a word out back there so now you're going to shut up and listen,” he pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes “You assume you're smarter than everyone else but you're actually so dumb. Dumb, you're acting very dumb and reckless, Y/N! That back there?” he points out of the window to nothing but you know what he means “Leaving— Scratch that. Leaving me and not giving me a chance to say anything back? Trying to go down that hill alone and in the dark? Stupid.” 

Staring back at him with watery eyes, you don't even know what to say back except a whispered excuse me?

“And usually I would beat up anyone who even dares to call you that but I guess all these years I've been wrong about you. Because if you were smart, you would've realized that Hanni means nothing to me and I mean nothing to her. There's nothing, she loves appearances and that's it.” 

You knew that already, but you're not giving your stance up. 

What even is your stance? Ah, right, he treated you like an envious no one back there and not like his best friend.  

“Yeah, I can tell you mean nothing to her from the whiny tone and the hug and the dragging you to meet her friends, Mingi.” Scoffing at the memory, your lips press into a thin line. 

“Well, she's a friendly girl!” 

“She didn't even say hi to me!” 

“So she doesn't like you, Y/N! Who cares!” you sure don't but, again, you just stare at him in disbelief and his open arms, palms to the sky “Do you care? Because I don't! And guess what? I doesn't fucking matter if she likes you or not or if she wants me or not because I like you!” 

What? 

“W-what?” 

“I like you! And I'll choose you over her and everyone else again and again and again until you notice but fuck it's so tiring. You're so fixated on why I let her drag me to her friends that you completely ignored me the rest of the time we were there and maybe if you looked at me more than once you would've realized that I was staring back at you the whole afternoon!” 

You let out an annoyed chuckle “So you were, Mingi.” 

“I was! I was trying to get you to look at me and notice how bad I wanted you to come over, rescue me from that boring ass conversation, grab my hand and claim your place right beside me because—” he pauses, resting a hand on the steering wheel and looking at you like he can't believe he has to spell this out for you “Because I want nothing more than for her and everyone to know I’m yours! I'm sure everyone already fucking knows too, except you. So yeah, sometimes, you're pretty fucking dumb for such a smart woman, Y/N.” 

Words escape you. They escape your mind, your reason and your pride shrinks until it disappears behind all the love you feel for Mingi. 

So that's what you are feeling. That's what you felt yesterday night when the tiredness couldn't drown out your thoughts of him and all he meant to you. 

Love, love, love. In all its forms, in all its possible scenarios. Your heart burns for it and you used to think that your hopeless romantic desires began and died with the movies you tend to see and the books you tend to read, that it was impossible to feel this way for anyone but there he is, chest heaving in the yellow interior light, waiting for you to say something back. 

“And I realize that before yesterday I showed no interest in you but believe me when I say that I—” 

Shakily, you interrupt him with whispered words, heart soaring and hands reaching out to cup his beautiful face “Shut the fuck up, Song Mingi.” 

When you kiss him, you make sure to pour out everything you couldn't say a minute ago into it. 

When he kisses you back with the same feeling, it crosses your mind that he already forgave you. 

And when he grabs your waist and drags you over the break handle and the transmission to collide his chest against yours and drag his tongue along the seam of your bottom lip, you think that, for the first time ever, you have to tell him he's right. 

You are stupid. Stupid for not realizing it sooner, stupid for confusing his longing stares for something platonic, stupid for thinking you could wait until tomorrow to tell him he has the right to see and be with anyone he wants to because this is it. 

This. The way your entire body comes alive when he sighs into your mouth and groans at the way your knee opens up his legs to make room for you on his side of the car and partially on his lap. The way his thumbs run through your cheeks and dry the tears you didn't even feel falling down. The way your heart jumps frantically and the way its beats could get confused by his because you're so close. 

Suddenly and unexpectedly, you can't recall a time Mingi didn't make you feel this exact same way. It's overwhelming, it expands through you like a fire and it knocks the remaining air out of your lungs enough for you to pull away and rest your forehead against his, shaky breaths tangling together and fingers grasping the neck of his shirt in an attempt to ground yourself. 

You sniffle, incapable of not feeling emotional over his confession and your realization “I'm sorry, Mingi. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for treating you that way I was… I behaved like…” 

“An ass.” He nods and you look at him with the ghost of a smile tugging at your lips. 

“Yeah,” you nod as well “I was an ass. A jealous ass.” 

“I know, love.” He whispers, eyes moving on your face before his lips are on yours again, briefly, sweetly, even if you don't feel like you deserve it “You tend to forget that I know you, hm? That I've seen you jealous before? You were an ass back then, too.” 

“Okay! Okay, stop calling me an ass, I get it.” 

“I'm sorry for waiting for you to do something when you didn't even… I guess you didn't know, right? The way I feel about you?” 

“I know now,” you whisper back, nudging your nose against his and then putting some distance so you can see him better “I feel the same way, by the way. We're shit at communicating, apparently, so I'll just tell you now that—” 

His lips are on yours again and he's giggling against them and shaking his head when he pulls away. Brown eyes search for yours and you're not sure what he's looking in them but he seems to find it, his muscles relaxing against the leather of his seat seconds later. 

So you kiss him again. And again and again until your back starts hurting and the steering wheel is pressed uncomfortably against it, forcing you to shift on his hold. 

“Let me… Wait.” He lets you go to pull his seat back and then closes his legs, forcing your knee to fall on his other side so you can fully straddle his lap “That's better. Now come here.” And then he’s grabbing the back of your neck and stealing your breath away again with another kiss.

The tension shifts right then. When he can fully feel you pressing up against him and when a noise escapes you once his hands drop and give your bare legs the attention you didn't even know you were craving. 

You thought a second ago that the sweet kisses would stop once you were both sated with the sweet aftermath of all the yelling and confessing but now you don't want it to stop. 

There's a lot to catch up on, a lot of missed time you need to make up for. 

You still want to make him feel good. The sparks from yesterday come alive again and soon you're yanking the strands of dark hair with your fingers and letting your mouth explore the skin of his neck. When you sink your teeth into his skin, he lets out the same noise he did the night before and you smile against the mark you just made. 

His lips find your shoulder and he breathes hard into it once your hips start moving at their own accord, slowly yet firmly, the pad of his fingers digging hard on your thighs until you break away from his neck to focus on his face again. 

“This goddamn dress, love.” 

Humming, you caress his red cheek with your lips “What about it?” 

“Been thinking about it all day…” 

“It worked, by the way.” 

“Woo?” 

“Mhm. Distracted him so he didn't throw me in the pool right away.” 

“And Jongho?” 

“Probably plotting against me right now.” 

He laughs softly into your skin “Probably.” 

Chuckling as well, you stop your movements and take in how he looks. Gone, a little too fucked up from just making out, lips swollen and eyes clouded with something you're getting too familiar with, too quick. 

“Worked on you, too.” 

He smiles and shrugs, letting his head drop into the headrest “You look good in everything, love. It doesn't really matter what you wear.” 

“Oh?” 

A firm hand trails up your body, slowly, from you leg to your hip, your waist to the side of your breasts and your until it cops your face with affection you never imagined you would experience. 

“I have always thought you are the most beautiful girl to ever exist.” 

This is it. 

Leaning into his touch, your lips connect to the palm of the hand holding you before you lean forward again. 

“I love you, Mingi.” 

He doesn't seem surprised by your confession and you're glad he knows. It doesn't really matter if it's too soon, if you even mean it in a romantic way or not, the love you have for him transcends all labels. 

“I love you too, Y/N.”

And his does too. 

You kiss him until it hurts. 

He kisses you until you're gasping and your body is pleading for more. 

The both of you kiss each other until you're sure nothing else will replace the taste of one another, that it will linger forever even if your paths stop crossing at any point in time. 

It feels like you're trapped somewhere where the clock doesn't tick at all, where you can take your time exploring him with your mouth and your hands. 

And then it doesn't. 

The fabric of the dress starts bothering you, his tight shirt is suddenly not tight enough and the hardness steadily growing and pressing into your core is screaming for attention you can't give him with all these clothes on the way. 

He feels it too, fingers tracing the hem of your dress for the second time today and then they're under it, pulling at the fabric up until it bunches on your waist. 

You're still wearing the swimsuit he helped you put on earlier but it does little to conceal how affected you are. Looking down, you're not even ashamed of it when he follows your eyes and lets his linger on the patch of wetness darkening the color of the bottoms. 

Still, he moves his hands upwards again and soon you're struggling to get the dress off, considering you're almost bumping the roof of the car when you straighten your spine to do so. 

“Wanna know what crossed my mind when I saw you in the bathroom?” 

When it's finally off, he immediately goes for it: His index tracing your collarbone and slowly descending, his short nail dragging against your skin before the rest of his fingers join, right in between your breasts, where there's fabric holding together the top of the swimsuit. 

He could easily tug on it if he wanted to. Instead, he ignores it and presses the heel of his hand against it, forcing you to lean back and almost bump into the steering wheel again. 

Unable to speak and panting, you only nod as a reply to his question. 

“How easy it would be to get on my knees and eat you out. I thought: What if I just…” Using his other hand to mess with the knots that keep the left bottom part of the swimsuit together, he demonstrates what he means without actually doing it, his eyes following the motions “Undo these, get on my knees and make her come all over my face?” 

“Fuck, Mingi…” 

“You would like that, wouldn't you?” He smirks without actually looking at you, the hand on your sternum traveling down against your skin before joining the other one, teasing the knots on the right. 

“Y-yes.” 

Maybe he can see it on your face, the sudden nervousness at the scene he painted before you, because he grabs one of your hands and brings them to his lips before drawing you close again “Please tell me your idiot ex-boyfriend ate you out when you were together.” 

Blush darkening, you make a face that gives the answer away. 

He groans “He's worse than I thought, fuck. Come here.” And without any warning, the back of his seat goes down until it touches the backseat with it.

Bracing yourself against his chest, because you went down with him as well, you huff out a surprised laugh “Go where?” 

“Up here. Let me teach you something tonight.” 

“Mingi…” 

“First, you need to make sure your hands are clean—” 

“Stop,” laughing, you interrupt his bad attempt at teasing you with the same words you used on him yesterday “There's no real support for me if we do this, where do I even—” 

“Knees here,” he motions the backseat and you could actually do it, but you would have to sit on his face instead of hovering like you imagine it would be more comfortable for him “hands here” he points to the grab handle and the headrest of the passenger seat and then straightens his spine a little, bringing his face closer to you so he can whisper right into your worn out lips “Turn the light off, I'll do the rest.” 

He looks like he's going to kiss you but then he falls back onto the seat with an excited smile curving his lips. 

What a tease. 

So of course you turn off the light and prop yourself up into the position he wants to. It's challenging, the car is not that small but it feels like it is and you very much would rather do this on a bed, spare his back and yours in the process, but excitement also runs through your body and your brain stops making up excuses for why should deny yourself of the pleasure of Mingi using his mouth to make you see stars the second his fingers undo the knots and peel the bottom half of your swimsuit off your body with ease. 

Lips trailing up your inner thighs and hands on each side of them, holding you in a secure position, Mingi doesn't tease you much before attaching his mouth to your heat and your subconsciousness flies out the window when his tongue flicks your clit. 

You look down at him and the sight of him enjoying himself has you beaming, the warmth spreads through you and the zeroes on your pussy. You don't even try to quiet down your moans, completely forgetting that you're in a public parking lot that can fill up at any second. 

But paying no mind to it either, Mingi also moans encouragingly into your wet folds when your hips move a little, chasing that high. 

He shifts his focus to your entrance, his tongue working itself into you and when you move your hips again at the feeling, his nose bumps into your clit in a way that has you grasping the headrest for support, right hand slipping down and resting on the window while your mouth hangs open and your eyes shut close. 

“Mingi… Baby, fuck, I'll—” he adds his thumb into his ministrations, pressing it against your clit the way he did yesterday and it only takes a few side to side movements for you to come undone on his mouth. 

And again, the intensity of your orgasm takes you by surprise. It's obviously not as intense as yesterday's but it still got you trembling so you want to curse him out for being that good at what he does. 

He eases you into it, slowing his mouth and you only register that it leaves you completely when your thighs are being kissed tenderly. 

Breathless, you look down at him and catch his smile before his teeth are sinking into your skin and forcing you to hiss out a laugh “Good?” 

“Yeah,” you smile, climbing down from your position and hovering over his lap in an attempt to not ruin his jeans. It's very obvious he enjoyed it too, his crotch holding the evidence tight and probably painfully against the fabric there “Really, really good.” 

You want to get on your knees and return the favor, make him squirm in pleasure, but the space is not working in your favor. So even though your thighs are hurting and sweat is dripping down your neck, you start working on the button and zipper of his jeans before he sits up.

He wants to say something, but your tongue is touching his and tasting yourself on it before he gets the chance. Clumsily, a little too far gone for your liking as well, you are able to get through the layers of clothes and let your hand hang over his dick “Are you gonna make me beg for it today?” 

“You don't have to, love.” 

“Beg?” you ask with a smile that he reciprocates “Or touch you?” your free hand brushes the hair out of his face, sliding down until you're propping his chin up with it, thumb tracing his bottom lip softly “Because I want to touch you. I want to make you feel so, so good, baby. Please.” 

He kisses the pad of your thumb and then takes it into his mouth, tongue caressing the tip of it until you're panting again and then nods. 

That's all the permission you need before taking him with your hand and pulling him out of his boxers. Taking your hand out briefly, you gather up saliva and spit right into it. 

Mingi lets out a noise at that. Interesting. 

Starting slow, you focus on his expression. Testing the waters, taking note of what he likes because, unlike him, you probably pushed to the corner of your mind every sexual conversation you two had before yesterday. You take a second to look down at it, the size is no surprise but your mouth waters at the image of you taking him into the heat of it. 

Maybe another time. For now, you focus on making him feel good with the little you can offer him in the enclosed space of his car. 

He mouths at your neck, choked up sobs vibrate through the skin on your collarbone and your top gets moved to the side so he can mark the side of your boobs as he pleases. It sets the fire inside of you alive again, your folds getting wetter when he rolls his tongue around your nipple and then throws his head back when you twist your hand in a motion he seems to really enjoy.

“Just like that, love.” 

To your delight, he's not quiet. He's loud, he's grabby, taking the opportunity to hold onto your ass and press down on the skin when you tease his slit and gather his precum on your fingers so you can spread it around his cock and your hand can slide easier. 

Movements get sloppy once he's close, he's no longer paying attention to you and you welcome it as a great sign, his hips bucking into your hand and he moves you forward until you're sitting on his lap again. 

The only thing preventing your pussy and his dick from touching is your hand. 

You glance at him and he looks back, probably the same idea popping up into his mind so you nod once.

The car moves as you two move around, to the back seat, the spine of his seat up and the entire thing moving forward to make space for him next to you, over you, on top of you once he kicks his jeans and boxers off to the floor. 

You reach out to him in a silent plea and he bends down to kiss you soft and moist and hot and breathy, sensually, with sweet sounds escaping both of you when you reach under his shirt and lift it up until he gets what you want. Discarding it with the rest of his clothes, your top follows it and the contentment you feel when his naked chest touches yours is unmeasurable. 

There's no real room to move around and there's not really any patience left within both of you, so when he apologizes when he moves his hips where he shouldn't and his tip brushes your entrance, you pull back from his bruising mouth. 

“Condom. Now.” 

He obliges right away, searching on his jeans for a minute or so and when he comes back he's smirking like he can't believe you “When I told you we needed to raincheck I didn't mean it to be like this. Bossy.” 

Even if you're punching him on his chest and giggling at his breathy words, you take the teasing with pride “You started it, Mingi!” 

Putting the condom on skilled and fast, he's soon resting his forehead against yours and kissing you softly again “I wanted you on my bed…” his lips trail down and the giggles die on your throat as he's kissing it, a moan escaping you “On your back or knees or riding me…” he continues in a whisper going down and down and down, giving your nipples attention before going back up and taking your mouth in his again “Making a mess on my cock…” 

He takes the opportunity to enter you slowly and you gasp at the stretch, wet enough so it doesn't hurt you but you're unfamiliar with him, with his size splitting you open deliciously. 

“F-fuck, Y/N.” Mingi leans back to watch you take him in and you whine again. Tilting your head back, you let him work himself in and you moan loudly when he almost bottoms out “Look at you…” 

You don't. You can't. He's pressing his thumb on your clit again to ease you through the stretch and it makes the heat pool in your belly like you didn't come in his mouth a few minutes ago. 

Slowly but surely it gets easier for him to rock his hips into you, mouth parting in pleasure when you remind yourself to look at him. His abdomen tenses when you run your nails against the skin there, softly, until you're detouring them into his back and sinking them in just enough to have him whining at the feeling. 

“Baby… Harder.” 

“Yeah?” 

Hips bucking up to meet his at a particularly hard trust, you reach up to him so he can rest his body weight on yours. Close like this, with the pace picking up, the knot on your lower half tightens and threatens to break. 

“You take me so well, love. Fuck, always knew you would,” you know he can feel your walls tightening around him at the praise, because he smiles and kisses you once before continuing “My pretty, pretty girl… Taking my cock so well…” he punctuates his words with the roll of his hips and you cry out, holding his face in between your hands, his eyes never leaving yours. 

In this position, his lower abdomen bumps into your clit and it's soon tipping you over the edge. 

“So good, so good, oh— Oh, God.” You're mumbling incoherently while Mingi keeps whispering sweet nothings and then the tension on your belly breaks. It takes three seconds of your walls pulsating around him for him to groan loudly into your mouth and come undone as well. 

The only thing you can hear is breathing, all you can feel is breathing. His against your chin, yours blowing on his hair when you rest your cheek on his temple. 

It takes a second to gather yourself again and when you do, you tilt your head back to give him a chaste kiss that he returns. 

“That was so good, baby.” You tell him and he smiles, nodding in agreement “I am sticking to the fucking seat though.” 

Mingi snorts and just like that the energy shifts back to the usual you. Only this time, you come back to it knowing that no one’s ever going to have you the way he does. 

He slips out of you, doing his thing with the condom and you sit up, looking through the windows and becoming aware of your surroundings for the first time since you got there. 

There's a car parked far away from you that's empty and the rest of the cars that were near it have left. You wonder how long this all took, because you lost track of time the second he told you he likes you. 

Chest still heaving and boxers now on, Mingi rests his back on the door and takes your hand in his “Is it dumb of me to assume you're my girlfriend now, love?” 

“Is it dumb that I assumed that's what I was when you said you like me?” 

“No,” he answers right away “not dumb at all.” 

Smiling, you nod “Then I'm your girlfriend, Mingi.” 

He beams at that and then he's crowding you again “Say it again.” 

“I'm your girlfriend.” you repeat, enunciating each word and giggling when he nuzzles his nose into the crimson on your cheek “I’m yours, baby.” 

Resting his forehead against yours, he hums in contempt “Good, because I've always been yours too.” 

“There's no way! You two... together? Guys… See, that would be me if I didn't see it coming but I'm smarter and cooler than everyone here so I did.” 

Wooyoung's over the top reaction has Mingi throwing his head back in a silent laugh and you staring at the black haired guy, unamused and a little offended. 

It's two days later and, as usual, you're at Wooyoung's and San’s apartment hanging out. 

After putting your clothes back on and going for some well deserved food, Mingi took you home, kissed you goodnight and showed up the next day after class to break the news to your parents. 

Your mom almost cried. Your dad too, but for a completely different reason. 

In the end, they both agreed they saw it coming and when you told Mingi’s parents, they said the same thing and invited yours to have celebratory dinner without you. 

What happened in Mingi’s room after was worth missing dinner anyways. 

Mingi and you decided to break the news when most of the group showed up for movie night and you were nervous to see their reactions. 

But everyone seems unaffected by it. 

“I knew you guys liked each other the second I met you. Ask Gyuri, she agrees with me.” 

“Sadly, I do.” Wooyoung's ex looks at you from her spot by the door, where she's getting her shoes on. 

She winks at you and you fake a gasp, falling into your boyfriend's lap with an annoyed huff. 

“And no one told us?!” 

“Sorry, Y/N. We didn't want to get in the way.” Hwa is apologetic and Yeosang nods alongside Hongjoong but you gape at them like they betrayed your trust. 

“To be fair we didn't know till’ last week, love.” 

“She didn't know.” Gyuri corrects him and now you turn to her to give her the betrayed look “You were pining over it for six months already.” 

“I say it was more like nine but…” Hwa shrugs and sips his cup, giving the man holding you close a knowing smile. 

Oh, they definitely talked about it, huh? 

“Nine months and no one cared to fill me in, huh?” 

“I’m sure Mingi did—” 

“Wooyoung!” 

“Well I didn't notice.” Yunho interferes with a shrug and gives you a recomforting smile that doesn't work at all. 

San laughs “That's because you're a puppy that can't even tell when someone likes you.” 

“Am not!” 

Everyone, including you and Mingi, make a noise in agreement with San.  

“You're one to talk, though, leave the puppy alone.” Gyuri tells her ex's best friend and Wooyoung laughs at him when his smile drops. 

There's some story there you don't know. 

“Guys… Does someone like me right now? Be honest.” 

Yeosang is about to tell him something but Jongho interrupts. 

“Enough with the love talk! Can we start the movie?” But he's pressing play already, so the answer doesn't really matter. 

Gyuri laughs once and Wooyoung makes his way over to her to give her a hug that she enjoys for one second tops before pushing him away. 

“Enjoy everyone! I'm so happy for you two, by the way, not that these neanderthals would tell you to your face but I'm sure they're too.” 

“Thank you, Gyuri.” Mingi murmurs from behind you and you mouth a thank you as well before she leaves for the night. 

Something about her best friend having a boy crisis. 

You don't miss the way San’s eyes follow her until she leaves or the way he looks at Woo, something clearly worrying him. 

His best friend ignores him, though, so you confirm that might just be a little pissed off at him after all. 

“Tell her to text you what happens.” San asks Woo once she leaves and he rolls his eyes. 

“Mhm. I’ll tell her to stop calling us neanderthals too.” 

You smile “Well, she's right.” 

“Nuh-uh!” 

Jongho has to stop the movie and you see him sulk while everyone else is arguing. Some of them, like Hwa and Yeo, are siding with you and Gyuri. And the rest of them, like your boyfriend, are telling them off. 

When you turn to face him, his argument dies mid-sentence because he stops to smile at you. He takes your face in his hand and kisses you for the first time ever in front of everyone else. The group stops the argument to tease you both and you laugh into his mouth. 

A cushion is thrown at you and Jongho gets up to separate your faces before sitting beside you with a pout on his lips. 

“Can we watch the goddamn movie?!” 

You're the happiest you've ever been.

If you read all the way down here: THANK YOU SO MUCH. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

© jensthwa, 2024.

[bratbarzal]

On Your Side (NH13) / Chapter Five

Pairing: Nico Hischier x Fem!OC Poppy Jensen*

*I say it's an OC, it's just a name and third person POV. I use minor character descriptions because I don’t get on with writing vague reader inserts/YN for long-form, story heavy fics, but I will generally try to avoid including race and body type or really any physical descriptors. I’m always open to feedback on my writing, or how to be more inclusive.

WC: 17k (holy moly)

Chapter Warnings: I tried to sprinkle some fluffy flashbacks and smutty references later in here just to lighten the mood but this is angsty!! probably cursing I honestly can't remember, and serious warnings rn mentions of hacking/gossip blogs/blackmail/cyber bullying/nudes being leaked, talia is her own warning tbh. I tried not to make a cliched ex comes in between them plot and idk how it comes across but yeah I was trying to toe the line between it being interesting/different and then going too far and not being able to write around it which is why the plot kind of fixes itself quick and is a leeeetle bit bad but there's some unresolved bitterness in that relationship for sure lmao she has a LOT 2 say!! did I mention there's angst in here? insecurity/self-doubt and miscommunication!!! in abundance!!! but!! luke is a cutey patootie in this I wrote his part with a lil smile on my face 💖 also a ridiculous conversation about huffing glue lmao

Series Masterlist

Previous Part (Chapter Four)

A/N: ok so in the grand scheme of things this is both a filler chapter and also like a pivotal point in the story to set something later up, but when I was planning this entire fic out, the only directive I gave myself for this specific chapter was insert angst. you wouldn't believe the amount of times I've written and rewritten and gone back and forth on what's in here. it's the kind of instruction only a complete melon would give themselves and I clearly just hate myself in ways that are spooky and strange to submit myself to this kind of torture.

and I hear your cries of hasn’t this fic just been angst so far??? yes!! you may be correct!! but you don’t get a rainbow without a bit of rain hun!!! grab an umbrella!!! I promise good will come of this lmao

I'm sorry this one took so long, it's the only chapter I didn't have any kind of plan or direction for obviously and I tried to come up with so many different options for the talia plot before I landed on whatever this is, but the next one I do have some scenes written out in my plan so shouldn't be as long in between. my goal has always been a chapter a week but like I said the other day work has been a lot for me the past couple of weeks so I am genuinely sorry for making you wait!!

you guys were very fun and very kind to me after the last chapter so please please please lets keep the good vibes going come chat to me about your thoughts about the fic about the weather about anything!! 💓

Nico

When Nico and Talia had first started dating, there had been an element of excitement to the dynamic. Nico hadn’t properly dated anyone in a while - had casual flings here and there, and for the most part spent his time swallowing down his burgeoning feelings for his best friend - and there was a novelty to starting something with someone new.

He had all the intentions of building something serious with her. She was fun, got on with his friends, had ties close to home that meant he wouldn’t be putting a wedge between the two of them should he want to travel back in his breaks, and sinking his teeth into the challenges of a relationship was something that actually intrigued him.

He liked planning dates, liked buying gifts to see that buzz of joy and gratitude it would elicit, and he liked the companionship - liked having someone there when he came back from a long roadie or a tough string of games. 

He liked it so much he never really opened his eyes to the fact that Talia didn’t. 

She didn’t like the dates he planned - didn’t like the restaurants he chose, the movies he wanted to share with her, the bars him and the guys frequented. She didn’t like America, didn’t like their coffee shops, thought their pastries were packed with too much sugar, their portion sizes were too large for her ever to enjoy going for lunch, always complaining about feeling bloated and sluggish after every meal. She hated Jersey - wanted to spend all her time across the Hudson, looking down on everyone she met and everywhere they went together. She didn’t make much use of the gifts he bought her - let every bouquet of flowers die a quick, careless death, said the watch he bought her didn’t go with enough of her other jewellery and turned her nose up at every effort he made to make his apartment feel more like her home. 

She wasn’t all that comforting when it came to companionship, either. Rolled her eyes when he came home aching and exhausted, went out without him on the days he was coming back from a roadie and returned home when he had long retired to his bed. She would always want to meet up with her girlfriends instead of hanging around the team, and only ever wanted to come to games if she could bring her own entourage - mostly to show off her connections and hardly ever to actually support him.

And so, despite the initial attraction, despite the excitement that first came with their blossoming relationship, Nico can only look at Talia with disinterest and frigidity now.

He barely greets her as he opens the door to his apartment, moving aside to let her in and waiting for her to trudge her small case in behind her before he closes it, leaning against the surface and watching her discard her bag and keys on the counter with familiarity.

When she turns to face him, running a hand through her hair and huffing out a big sigh, he takes in her dishevelled appearance.

Even when travelling, Talia usually takes great pride in her pristine exterior - hair blow-dried, outfit co-ordinated and steam-pressed to perfection, not a crease or stain in sight, and usually a light layer of makeup to cover the slight imperfections like the darkened under eyes and redness around her nose. This isn’t like her.

She looks like she’s been messing with her hair the whole 8 hour flight out and beyond, her eyes are rimmed-red with smudges of brown at the corners, her lips are chapped and swollen like she’s been crying, and her sweatpants don’t match her hoodie. It’s almost like she’d thrown on whatever she could find and caught the first flight out, fresh out of bed.

“What’s going on?” He cuts straight to the chase, losing all formality and courtesy. He should feel bad for his callous greeting, but she had broken up with him over text not even a month ago - she doesn’t exactly deserve outstretched arms and a warm embrace, he thinks.

“Hi Talia, how have you been, Talia? It’s nice to see you Talia.” She mocks, a frown overtaking her features immediately. “I’m absolutely amazing, thanks for caring, Nico!” Sarcasm spews from her tongue like pure venom, and his eyes practically roll into the back of his head.

Nico pushes himself off of the door, heavy footsteps leading him into his kitchen where he can make himself a coffee to get through this. His watch reads 6:05 - far too early for her antics - and rising to her nagging is only going to make things worse.

“Do you want a drink?” He asks, as he busies himself with his coffee press, unable to look at her too long without the pricks of guilt irritating him.  He doesn’t even know what he has to feel guilty about.

“I’ll get it myself,” she scoffs, venturing over to the fridge and pouring out some orange juice - her movements around his space eerily natural. She slams back most of the drink as he works out how to brew his coffee - but she sees right through him. He’s hardly ever used the press before, and he’s just doing so now to avoid her in whatever capacity he can. “I need money.”

Nico’s almost positive he hasn’t heard her right - that there’s some kind of mix up between her standard German and his Swiss - and he slowly turns to properly face her, brows slanting into a deep frown as he assesses her expression.

She has a hand on her hip, her jaw set and her eyes darkened and serious. 

“You have money.”

Talia comes from money - her father is some kind of film producer and her mother an artist, if Nico remembers correctly - and she makes good money, herself. She’s been a print model since she was scouted in some market in Munich since she was 15, has had her face plastered in ads in magazines and catalogues around the world. She’s hardly strapped for cash. She gets things gifted to her by whatever company she can get a hold of. What could she possibly need him to give her money for?

“Not enough.” Her tone is cold, her demeanour the same, and if Nico can still gauge her emotions correctly, there’s an element of blame that she is starting to shift towards him, and his whole body starts to feel tense.

“Not enough for what?”

He can’t quite tell what feeling washes over him - worry, at the thought she’s gotten herself into some kind of trouble, stress, at the thought this could be a recurring thing, and potentially pity, at the way she’s so clearly carrying the weight of something heavy - something she’s lugged all the way across the Atlantic on a long haul flight with her.

“Not enough to pay the guy who’s blackmailing me not to leak the videos that I sent to you.”

“What vide-“ he bites back, and the immediate arch of her brow tells him all he needs to know. “Oh.”

Shit.

“Oh? That’s all you have to say?” She sneers, fury in her gaze and dismay in her tone. “You’ve ruined my life, and all I get is an oh?”

“Whoa, slow down, I’ve ruined your life?”

Nico has never been one to shame any girl for sending explicit pictures - he’d been more than willing to receive them at the time - but he hadn’t ever forced her hand. He hadn’t even asked her for them, in the first place. 

She’d taken it upon herself to spice things up, as she had put it at the time, when the team had gone on the road in early December. It was just after he’d returned from his injury - a time in which he’d spent mentally distanced from her as he’d focused so much on getting back to the game, their relationship consisting mainly of not-so-passionate sex to avoid aggravating his injury and hardly of any kind of meaningful conversation - and she had thought that keeping him on his toes on a roadie would mean he’d come back more interested than ever.

If he’d been looking out for red flags at the time, he might have caught that blaring one; needing to try new things only a few months into a relationship to keep it fun and light.

He’d been in his hotel room in Seattle, freshly showered and ready to throw himself straight into bed when his phone had started to ping. It was suggestive texts at first, are you alone? And I’m thinking about you. Then it had been pictures, hands over lingerie and fingers between glossy, pouted lips.

And then videos, one after the other before he had any chance to respond - her phone set up far enough away that her whole body was in frame, touching herself while laying on his bed and calling out for him.

He had called her instead of sending anything back, and as he realises the severity of the situation, a selfish part of him is glad he did so.

“Talia, I didn’t even save those videos, and I definitely didn’t show them to anyone else.”

Nico could never. Not only for the fact that he was raised to be a decent human being, but he has a sister - if anyone ever did that to Nina, he’d tear them apart, limb from limb. 

“You’re the only person I’ve ever sent anything to.” She seems to have made her mind up, and Nico feels as if his heart plummets through his torso at the realisation. She’s travelled all this way because she genuinely believes he’s the cause of this - that he’s shared intimate videos of her without her consent, to someone who would extort her for them. “And he sent me some pictures as proof, had information about me like the address of this apartment.”

“Talia, I swear on my mother’s life, I wouldn’t do that to you - to anyone, not ever.”

Tears well in her crystalline eyes, and Nico waits with bated breath as she assesses the situation in her head. 

He isn’t a liar - he has never given her a reason to think he is one. In their time together, he had always been honest, always been loyal, and he hopes at the very least - despite her obvious distain for him now, and how little she ended up caring about their relationship in the end to cut it off in the way she did - she thought of him as kind. 

He can do nothing but be patient, let her come to whatever conclusion on her own, and it’s only when he spots the quiver in her bottom lip that he takes an apprehensive step forward, ready to console her if needed.

She practically throws herself into his arms, wrapping her own around his waist and bawling into his chest, and all he can do is hold her and wait. He tries to rub a soothing hand up and down her back, holding the other against her head as her body wracks with sobs. All he can feel is the pounding of his own heartbeat, pulsing throughout his entire body until it’s all he can hear, too.

Nico does his best to comfort her, shushing and cooing and whispering how it’s going to be alright, but it does little to help. She’s beyond relief.

“There’s a guy who said he can track whoever is doing this to me,” she sniffles as she pulls herself away. “He’s in Jersey City Heights, he’s some sort of ethical hacker, whatever that means, I’m going to meet him and he’s gonna go through my phone.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Nico doesn’t even hesitate to ask - if not to protect her, and make sure she isn’t unknowingly getting herself into an even more dangerous situation, then to protect himself too. If someone has Talia’s pictures, and she only sent them to him, there’s a possibility his phone had been hacked, and if this guy is as ethical as he says, maybe he can check Nico’s stuff, too, just to be safe.

She gives him an appreciative smile, eyes still glassy and cheeks flushed. “I’d really appreciate that.”

“I’m gonna shower, then we can go. You can grab whatever to eat while you’re waiting.” He backs away from her completely, only just able to acknowledge the ache in his muscles once the intensity of the situation has settled a little, and he just needs to stand under the steaming spray and clear his mind before he properly immerses himself in her company. 

He has a lot more than this whole mess that he needs to think about, and maybe a shower can bring him a little clarity on how exactly he’s going to explain himself to the beautiful girl whose bed he had abruptly left not even an hour ago. 

“Why are you dressed?”

Nico stops in his tracks.

When he had got back to his apartment, he’d made a little effort for it to seem like he’d been there all night. He’d gone through to his bedroom, mussed up his sheets to make it seem like he had been sleeping in them - and not with the anticipation that Talia was going to be entering his bedroom, but with her, he never knows - trying to retrace the steps of his usual routine before he goes to bed, he had closed all the blinds, had moved his gym bag by the door.

But he hadn’t changed.

Still adorned in his sweatshirt and jeans from the night before, the clothing feels all that much heavier on his body as she brings attention to it, and he quickly racks his brain to come up with a valid excuse that doesn’t rouse further suspicion.

“I fell asleep in these clothes.” As easy as the lie comes out, he doesn’t feel great saying it. Doesn’t feel like erasing the night he had shared with Poppy is for the greater good, even if it is just to Talia, but avoiding another difficult conversation is a must right now - especially when he’d already lied to her on the phone. “Was out late with the guys last night, Timo threw a party for my birthday.”

“Right,” she drags out, and when he turns back around, she casts a scrutinising glance over him, top to bottom. “Sorry, I forgot.”

“No worries,” he shrugs, genuinely not offended. She has no reason to remember his birthday. Not anymore. “Like I said, help yourself to whatever, I’ll try not to be long.” 

When he undresses for his shower, he’s thankful he hadn’t had the foresight to change in anticipation of Talia’s arrival. He probably would have donned a t-shirt and some shorts, oblivious to the visible indents on his thighs where Poppy had dug her nails in as she took him in her mouth.

His chest and torso are littered with scratches, some faint, some a little deeper, and he can’t get the right angle to see his back but he imagines they’re the same - the memory of her clutching at him as both of their climaxes approached is vivid enough for him to picture the marks she left behind.

He groans as the thought of her brings back that swirling feeling in the pit of his stomach, as he notices the blooming arousal pool there, and feels himself harden as he steps under the spray of his shower.

If his phone had been on do not disturb through the night, he could be in the shower with Poppy, instead.

He could have woken up to her in his arms, could have pecked at her sleep-swollen lips until it brought her out of her slumber, and spent his morning making up for lost time just like he had promised her last night. He could have made light work of the pleasure he had given her the night before - could have had her underneath him in her bed, tangled up in the mess of sheets and falling apart before they shared a morning shower, where he’d have held her up against the tiles and would’ve moved into her until they couldn’t tell where he ended and she began. He’d have made her breakfast, something sweet, so that as she sat and watched him atop the kitchen counter he had tasted her on for the first time not even 12 hours before, he’d press his tongue into her mouth after she had eaten and savour the flavour of strawberries that had settled between her lips.

Instead, he’s here, turning the temperature of his water down until any and all excitement in his body is dampened, and all he can focus on is the effect the cold has on all his other aching muscles.

Once he has showered and gotten dressed - and has come to the conclusion that any further thoughts about Poppy need to wait until the Talia problem is resolved and out of his hands, he finds his ex girlfriend sprawled across his couch, music playing from the speaker in the corner, and taking helping herself to a whole new level. 

Her case is opened where she had left it by the door, and she’s set herself a little vanity up on his coffee table, fixing her appearance before they leave.

She’s changed out of her mismatched sweats, has dressed herself in jeans and a sweater, and has found an extension cable long enough for her to plug in whatever hot tool she’s currently running through her hair.

“You take the longest showers in the history of man,” she rolls her eyes, not even casting a glance his way as she focuses on her own reflection in the little mirror she must have brought with her. “I do not want to know what it is you get up to in there.”

“I was barely 30 minutes, are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, almost,” she runs the tool through her bangs until they flick out at the edges on either side of her face, and it reminds him of all the times he had watched her while waiting for her to finish getting ready. It makes him feel uneasy how familiar it all is, how she’s so quickly made herself at home again in his space.

He wants to tell her she needs to pack her stuff back up, that she won’t be staying here and needs to give his keys back, but the weight of the situation at hand dawns on him before he can open his mouth.

He’ll wait until they get back later, his decision depending on the outcome of their visit to her hacker friend.

As much as he doesn’t want her around, he isn’t going to kick her out with no place to go if her life is still shrouded in unsafe circumstances. 

Talia unplugs her stuff, wraps the cord around the handle of the brush she was using, and places it on a mat she must have brought with her so it doesn’t burn through the surface of the table. “Kay, let’s go.”

She marches ahead of him, picking up her bag and keys on the way out and leaving him to lock up while she calls for the elevator. They wait together in silence, his heart thudding an anxious rhythm in his chest as he anticipates the arrival of the elevator - and thankfully, it arrives empty.

He tries to distance himself from her as they enter, him standing in one corner, and hoping she takes the other, but she doesn’t quite get the memo, standing obliviously in the centre as she types away to someone on her phone and he presses the button to go to the basement.

Nico watches the numbers go down with bated breath. His floor, the next, the next one after that, and he uses any good will he has left with the universe to hope and pray it skips the floor coming up - but, as is just his luck, the elevator comes to a stop with a soft thud, and the doors open to reveal the very situation he’s been hoping to avoid. 

Jack walks straight in, eyes cast down to the phone in his hands, distractedly typing away and not even noticing the button for the parking level has been pressed before he pushes it, himself.

Luke notices straight away, halting in his movements to enter the space as his gaze flickers between the two people already occupying it. 

He diverts his eyes when they meet Nico’s head dropping as he steps in and stands beside his brother, uttering a quick greeting of, “Hey, Cap.”

Jack’s attention is captured immediately, spinning at an almost dizzying speed to face his captain, phone disregarded into his back pocket. “Schao! I thought you’d be at-,”

He’s thankfully able to tune into his perception before he carries on with his train of thought, a subtle movement in his peripheral diverting his gaze to the figure stood to the side of Nico. 

“Talia. Hi.”

“Hi, Jack.” Nico cringes inwardly at how disinterested she sounds. “Luke.” Talia had never really cared for Nico’s teammates - especially not the younger guys like Jack and Luke. She was quick to pass judgement, making comments on their maturity, or apparent lack-thereof, and wasn’t the biggest fan of how close Nico was with the pair. Didn’t like the time or attention he gave them considering the close quarters they lived in, and had always been resentful. She always claimed her English wasn’t good enough to hold a proper conversation with them, but he’d seen her enough around her American friends to know it wasn’t true.

“We’re just meeting up with some of the guys for breakfast.” Jack says, cautiously, in an attempt to fill the silence. The invitation remains unspoken, but Nico can tell in the way the younger boy cocks his head and meets his eye that he’s gauging his current situation for the morning.

“We have plans.” Talia must be able to tell what he was getting at, too and Nico can see Luke’s eyes narrow as soon as the word resonates in his head. Plans. Pre-meditated. Made before she had sprung all of this on him within the last hour or two. Panic stirs within him, and his throat itches to speak the truth, but it’s just not the right time to do so with Talia stood beside him. If he starts getting defensive, she’ll start asking questions, and the boys will have to bear witness to him skirting around the matter of Poppy. 

It’s not a good look no matter which way he swings it. He’s stuck in a thick, dark, tarry mess of not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings but making all the wrong decisions. A minefield of not knowing how to explain himself without raising a million questions on either side, and hoping one of the brothers might toe the line of the boundaries of their relationship and just straight up ask why Talia is here.

He knows he has fucked up without the way neither of them are looking him in the eye.

He knew it the second Poppy’s door had locked behind him this morning - he doesn’t need Luke refusing to meet his gaze, doesn’t need Jack’s shifting side eye to tell him he’s made a mistake. 

“I’ll text you later.” Nico says, mainly to Jack but still trying to meet his brother’s eyes with no luck. It’s an attempt to say something, without saying anything. A silent beg not to jump to conclusions about what they’ve seen - and, although he knows they wouldn’t, not to tell anyone else. Not whichever of the guys they are meeting up with, not anyone else on the team, and definitely not Poppy.

“Yeah, sure,” Jack mutters in a poor attempt to hide his discomfort, and an even worse attempt at masking his relief when the doors ping open on the parking level.

“Have fun with your plans,” Luke huffs out, his tone like a tight fist clutching at Nico’s chest despite his courteous choice of words.

“We will,” Talia forces a smile. Nico gets the feeling she isn’t as oblivious to the tension as he hopes she is.

The four of them separate into their pairs with mumbled goodbyes, Jack and Luke heading off to Luke’s car on one side of the garage, and Nico and Talia heading to his on the other, and Nico can’t even let out a sigh of pseudo-relief before Talia jumps on him.

“That was weird.”

“We broke up, they weren’t expecting to see us together.” He quickly excuses as he starts the car up, turning on the heat and hoping the soft buzz of the air will fill the silence enough that she doesn’t feel the need to talk. 

“It’s been like 3 weeks, most couples get back together after their first breakup.”

Has it only been 3 weeks? He thinks, shuddering at how little time had actually passed between her sending that text and him restoring balance to his life.

“We’re not most couples,” he shrugs, shutting that train of thought immediately as he starts to make his way out of the parking garage, ascending the ramp where the doors open up to reveal the dull beam of the winter morning sun. “You dumped me over text a week before Christmas, we’re not getting back together.”

“Oh yeah, I bet you were real cut up about it,” she jibes, sarcastically. “Probably landed straight in the bed of some desperate puck bunny more than happy to take your mind off of how awful I was to you.”

His mind immediately goes to Poppy, to last night, to her bed - and despite the complete bullshit Talia has fabricated in her head, despite how much he wants to tell her she has it all wrong, he can’t bear to twist himself even further into knots to skirt around mentioning the girl who did make him better.

“We’re not having this conversation right now.” He decides, tapping at the screen in the console of his car until he brings up the navigation. “Put in the address you need, we’re not too far from The Heights.”

The location she enters into the system is for an unassuming condo in a quiet, suburban area. The neighbourhood itself is picturesque, the buildings colourful, the paths lined with trees that seemed to flourish even in the midst of winter, and when Nico pulls up across the street, he notices the amount of families around - parents walking their kids to school and couples with dogs getting their morning steps in. It’s the last place he imagines some hacker to be shacked up, but maybe that’s the point.

He still doesn’t entirely understand the ethical part.

“It’s the one with the red brick and the balcony,” Talia points to the other side of the road as she unbuckles her seatbelt, and Nico looks over at the building as if he’s going to be able to see all the secrets stored within it.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, number 414.” She shows him the messages she has exchanged with the guy, and sure enough, the address matches up. “C’mon, the sooner we get in there, the sooner we can figure this out.”

He follows her across the street, adjusting the cap he wears atop his head and making sure it conceals his identity from anyone with eyesight good enough to catch it, trying to shrug off the discomfort of the whole situation as he waits for someone to pick up the buzzer Talia relentlessly presses.

He hears a different kind of buzz, lighter, like the manual zoom of a camera, and cranes his neck to assess their surroundings as they wait, before he catches sight of the device in the top corner of the porch, facing directly onto them.

He hears the click of a lock as soon as his eyes make contact with the thing, and cautiously tries the handle on the door until it pushes all the way down, letting them into the building. 

The door to the ground floor condo is open, and stood in the entrance is a guy no older than 20, dressed in all black with dark, beady eyes framed by wire-rimmed glasses. If Nico could find it in him to see the humour in the situation, he’d laugh at how he looks like Luke - a mop of curly brown hair, tall with a slim build and ever so slightly poor posture.

He straightens up as the two of them approach, Nico keeping Talia behind him as he assesses the safety of the situation. If they’re being lured into some kind of trap, he could definitely take this guy - he can’t even maintain direct eye contact, never mind manage to subdue a man of Nico’s stature.

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing someone, Talia.”

He’s soft-spoken, his voice ever so nasally, and despite the fact that he’s talking to the girl behind him, his gaze has settled on Nico’s chest.

“My name’s Nico.” He introduces himself, holding out a hand to shake. He thinks he can write him off as a threat, for now, and if making him feel comfortable encourages him to help them, he wants to put him at ease. “

“I know who you are.” He doesn’t shake Nico’s hand. “I’m Myles. Come in.”

Myles doesn’t wait for the two of them, marching back into his place and leaving the door open for Talia and Nico to enter and close behind them. 

Nico isn’t surprised by the space - from his brief encounter with the resident so far, it fits him to a tee; neat, impersonal, furniture that looks fresh out of a catalogue. He follows him over to the corner of his living room, a PC set up with several monitors that he can’t tell are on until they’re standing straight in front of them.

Myles throws himself down into the large swivel chair, spinning until he’s facing the two of them and crossing his arms over his torso with disinterest. “So, nudes?”

Straight to the point. Nico can’t exactly be mad at it.

Talia steps out from behind him, handing her unlocked phone to Myles. “The messages started last week, just after New Years. Straight to my number, not in DMs or anything, but the number doesn’t even come up for me to call it from another phone or anything, just says unknown.”

Myles takes her phone and plugs it into his setup without even looking at whatever she has opened on it, and Nico watches as the screens come alive with mirrors of the device and some other apps that launch as soon as it connects. 

“That’s more helpful than you think, they have to use an app to be able to anonymously text you, makes it easier to identify them.”

The way Myles talks is monotonous and detached, but the way he works is anything but. His fingers move quicker than Nico’s eyes can track on his keyboard, typing away at whatever as different things flash up and leave his screen. It like something straight out of a spy movie.

“So we can find out who it is just from that?” He asks, arms folding over his chest as he watches in almost-awe.

“Not exactly. If it is a hacker, I could identify their signature. Doesn’t mean I could identify them, but we can work around it potentially.”

Talia throws herself down on the couch behind them exasperatedly, sighing loudly and making her displeasure known. “You told me you could track them down, that’s what I’m paying you to do.”

“I told you I could help you, I didn’t say I could specifically track anyone, that’s not how this works.”

“How does it work then?” Nico asks.

Myles wheels his chair to the side to make room for Nico to get closer, and starts walking him through the process, pointing through the different apps he uses and explaining how he uses them. One deciphers which app the person used to message Talia. Once that’s been deduced, he uses another to enter a backdoor into that app’s servers, perusing through them until he finds the account that sent the text, making sure the date, time and then content line up. Once he’s found the account, he can see the other texts sent from it, and a gallery spreads across two screens, with maybe hundreds of pictures, videos, messages and transactions all to or from that same account.

“You’re telling me you have the power to do all this and you don’t use it to like rob banks or something?”

“Ethical hacker, clue’s in the name.” Myles shrugs. Nico looks back to Talia, her jaw set as she picks at her nails out of boredom. It’s probably taken about fifteen minutes for this guy to work an absolute miracle, and she looks like she couldn’t care less. “We use all this information, and the access I have on the server, to shut this dude down and cut his con before he can do it to anyone else.”

“Whoa whoa,” Talia shoots up, “Won’t that make him mad? Make him just post all the photos?”

“I doubt it,” the hacker comments, bringing up a couple of the photos on the screens, some of Talia, some of another girl, making Nico divert his eyes. “They’re not even real.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Excuse me?”

Talia and Nico both question at the same time, leaning in to get a proper look to confirm what is being told to them. The other pictures Myles had brought up, the ones of other girls, are actually kind of the same. The same poses, the same backgrounds, the same outfits, or lack thereof, just different faces and different hair.

“They’re called deep fakes. Photoshop, essentially.” He has that aloof tone to his words again, and Nico can’t quite believe how simple it seems for him to say. “They put a bunch of your pictures into an AI generator and give it instruction, like put this face on a body posed like this or wearing that. I’d assume the video they have is the same.”

“How is that even possible?” Talia gasps, pushing herself forward and snatching the mouse from Myles’ grasp. She clicks into what she assumes is the video, and it starts playing before she can think better of it, thankfully without any sound. 

It’s Talia - that much is obvious from the initial close up of her face - but Nico doesn’t recognise anything else about it. He doesn’t recognise the room she’s in, the bed she’s on, the things she’s doing. He’s never seen this before. It’s definitely not one of the videos she had sent him, and when he looks closer, he realises the little moles on her ribs aren’t even there.

None of it is real.

“You said he sent you the photos? You didn’t realise they weren’t the ones you took?” He can’t conceal the bite in his tone, his brows furrowing as he looks at her in disbelief. She’s flown out here, disrupted his peace, blamed him for blackmailing her, and she can’t even recognise what is or isn’t her own body. 

“They looked real, I-,” Her shock disappears as quickly as it had come about, her mood shifting and a glare all of a sudden being directed at her ex boyfriend. “I wouldn’t have accused you if they didn’t look real, Nico.” She snaps, frowning at him like this is his fault. “You have no idea what it’s like to be threatened like that, I won’t have you blame me for panicking.”

Slivers of guilt seep into his subconscious, and he takes a deep breath, diverting his gaze uneasily and letting out a big sigh.

He knows he should be a little more compassionate, but there’s panicking, and then there’s this.

She had accused him of ruining her life.

“What about the rest of it?” Nico asks, “Like how did he get her number or have my address? You said he had other information?”

“He did,” Talia nods, looking over to Myles.

“The address he probably got when he got your number, and he could have got that from anywhere. Could be something as small as you ordering something online and the store having a data breach, or clicking a link that shared your IP address, and getting your phone information from that.” Myles starts his typing again, keeping a tight grip on his mouse so that it can’t be snatched again. “I could probably find out actually, they’re pretty easy to spot, do you clear your history often?”

“I wouldn’t even know how to do that,”

“Perfect,” Again, his fingertips work at lightening speed, and Nico watches as instagram opens on one of the screens. “Yeah, a DM sent to you from… Devils_tea. You opened a link to a shared drive to upload some pictures, the drive probably had malware and the pictures have location metadata.”

Nico rolls his eyes, that small ebb of pity washing almost completely away, and before Talia can stop him, Myles carries on. “Some of the pictures you sent them are the ones they used for the AI photos, look your face in this one is the exact same as this photo they threatened to leak.”

Nico recognises these photos. The ones that had been plastered all over social media when their relationship had leaked. Pictures of them back in Switzerland, on a weekend trip to Ibiza, selfies of them in his apartment, and even a picture of the two of them with his parents back at his family home in Valais.

He has been far too oblivious to Talia’s games for far too long, he realises. 

Of course she had been the one to leak everything - who else would have had those photos - but he hadn’t even considered it would be her; she had faced the harshest aftermath for it, why would she subject herself to all the subsequent grief that came with people knowing about their relationship?

Thank God for this guy’s lack of social cues, Nico thinks, or he would never have known that for as long as they had been together, she had been violating his revered privacy and trust.

“Nico, that wasn’t-,” Talia’s panic is evident, wide eyes, trembling hands raised in defence, “I must have been hacked,”

“Actually, there’s no-,” Myles begins to interject, fingers working again to fact check, but Nico doesn’t need him to validate what he already knows.

“Shut up,” Talia snarls, with a finger pointed at him, “You don’t know what you’re talking about, we’re done here.” She reaches forward to snatch her phone back, yanking out the wire that connects it to his monitors and throwing it onto the desk. “We’re leaving, and if you think I’m paying you anything, you’re deluded.” 

Talia marches past them and straight out of the condo, slamming every door she possibly can behind her. Nico can only cringe as the sounds of her stomping footsteps echo until they fade out - until she’s probably outside and waiting for him back at his car.

“Doesn’t she want me to shut this thing down?”

“I’ll pay you.” Nico sighs, reaching into his pocket for his phone and trying to push down the feeling that arises when he’s met with a blank lock screen.

Poppy hasn’t messaged him. 

Not that he deserves for her to make it easy, to let him off the hook and pretend he hasn’t royally fucked things up with her.

“If you stop him, does he still have all the photos? He could still release them?”

“Yeah, but they’re pretty easy to validate as fakes, especially when you have the source material. I don’t think this guy is sophisticated enough for a full blown hack into her phone for the real thing. I couldn’t find evidence of any breach of her cloud or her device.”

Nico nods, but the information does little to quell the anxiety that squeezes his chest in a vice-like grip. 

This whole morning has been nothing but a giant waste of his time. From the second his eyes opened, to this moment right now, he’s made nothing but mistakes.

Not putting his phone on sleep mode before he and Poppy went to bed had been a mistake. Taking Talia’s call had been a mistake. Not waking Poppy up had been a mistake. Leaving without a note, without a text, leaving at all - it had all been one error after another, and all he has left to do is face up to the fact.

He can’t do anything to dwindle the panic rousing in every fibre of his being, the scarring marks left by torturous lashings of regret that whip at his skin.

He’s never felt so ashamed of himself, in such disbelief at his own decisions.

Why didn’t he just wake her?

She’s the most level-headed, acceptable person he knows. She would have understood. He hadn’t had a reasonable explanation at the time, and he doesn’t really have one now - but she would have accepted it, whatever he could have told her, she would have listened, waited until he could give her more.

He needs to see her, to explain, before it’s too late.

If he thinks about the feeling settling in his stomach, if he can compare it to anything, it’s like running from a blazing inferno of doubt and insecurity, licks of fire racing to catch up to him, the soles of his feet pressing into the sizzling ground - and Poppy is the cool embrace of safety.

She is light cracking through a window he just needs to break through to make it out.

If he can get to her quick enough, if he runs, and runs, maybe he’ll make it before he’s jiggling at a red hot handle that won’t move, won’t give, won’t budge.

If he can just talk to her, maybe the morning from hell will be outweighed by the days of resilience, weeks of efforts, years of loving her in whatever capacity, and the promise of something better.

He just needs to get rid of Talia.

The car journey back to his apartment is carried out in a deafening silence. She had tried to talk to him when he’d made his way out of Myles’ condo, when he had found her waiting by his Mercedes with crossed arms and a sour look on her face, but he’d told her he didn’t want to hear it, that they’d deal with it in private.

He hardly wanted a showdown with her in the middle of the street.

And so, she sat in his passenger seat, jaw set, glaring out the window and letting out the occasional huff or puff for attention that he wasn’t entertaining.

The elevator ride up to his place had been the same. Silent, filled with the type of tension you could cut with a knife, and all he could do was ignore her continued petulance and take deep breaths to calm himself down. In through his nose, out through his mouth, overlooking the way she tapped her foot in his peripheral vision, and almost audibly rolled her eyes every few seconds. 

“Would it have killed you to defend me in there?” She scoffs as soon as the door closes behind them in his apartment, “You just let him accuse me of all that stuff and completely invade my privacy!”

Nico screws his eyes shut and pinches the bridge of his nose.

He can’t blow up, can’t stoop to her level. He won’t feel good after the fact. He knows how Talia operates, should have known she’d immediately play the victim card, and he isn’t falling into the trap of arguing to the point of being in the wrong.

He’ll say something he regrets and she’ll use it to her advantage, somehow.

“You asked him to go through your phone, Talia.” He sighs, making his way over to the kitchen and getting himself some water. Chugging at it does little to soothe the burning feeling prickling at the back of his mouth, or the itch of his tongue to spit out a scathing retort. “He’s shut down the guy behind it, he can’t message you or anyone else with any more threats, you should be happy.”

“I should be happy?” She follows him wherever he tries to get away, crowding his space and jabbing a pointed finger into his arm. “You have no idea what I’ve been going through this past week. I thought my career was over! How was I supposed to know it was fake?”

“You didn’t even look at the pictures-,”

“Because I was panicking! I was upset, you can’t expect me to be able to recognise what’s been photoshopped when I’m scared like that!”

“But you can fly straight over here and pin the blame on me for ruining your life? You weren’t too upset to point the finger, Talia,”

“Don’t be an asshole, Nico, it doesn’t suit you.” 

“I’m being the asshole? You don’t even care about the trail of destruction you leave behind you, do you? You send private pictures of us, of me, of my family to random people online who you don’t even know, for what, Talia? For money?”

“I don’t need their money-,”

“So it was just for the attention? You get to parade our relationship around like it means nothing more to you than a title, and once you get your fifteen minutes and a few more instagram followers, you just jet back home and dump me over a text?”

“Oh my God,” she cries, flailing her arms dramatically, following him yet again as he makes his way into his living room, picking her stuff up after her that she had discarded here before they left and throwing it into her travel bag. “Stop playing the victim, for Christ’s sake, you’re hardly heartbroken over it. I know for a fact you’ve been hooking up with someone, one of the girls messaged me that they saw you leave a party with her on New Years!”

“So that’s what this is?” Nico snaps, pointing to her, to her stuff, “You think I’m moving on so you fly back out here and spring this bullshit on me, try to make me feel bad?”

“You have some nerve, Nico,” Talia scoffs, folding her arms across her chest and levelling him with a darkened glare.

“I have nerve? You’re the one who broke up with me out of nowhere and think that you can just march back here and make demands, Talia, blaming me for something that was entirely your own doing.” He’s getting sick of walking on egg shells around the topic. If she hadn’t have been messaging people she wasn’t supposed to, this would never have happened - it’s no one’s fault but her own, and as harsh as it may be, he wants to wash his hands of the whole thing. “Calling me in the middle of the night, telling me I ruined your life, saying I need to give you money?”

“Out of nowhere?” Of course she would only pick up on that, he thinks. “My God, you are so self-absorbed.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Do you think that dating you is easy?” She questions with a measured step toward him. “Do you think I want to spend my life waiting around for my boyfriend, only for him to only ever come home grumpy,” another step, “Or whiny,” and another, “Or too tired and achey to do anything? And that’s when you do come home at all and aren’t half way across the country with the communication skills of a candle. It’s a constant uphill battle trying to get even a second of your attention, Nico, so God forbid I tried to gain some kind of advantage from being with you.”

Her words are starting to cut, but he tries not to react, tries not to bite back. He can count several ways in which she gained an advantage being with him, just off the top of the head - a girl like Talia is never shy of attention. Her courting gossip blogs and sending them private information is probably just scraping the barrel of the ploys she made for exposure while she was with him.

“I didn’t break up with you out of nowhere, I put up with you and the whole circus that comes with you for months, but God, is it exhausting being with you.”

“You knew what you were getting into, Talia. You knew my job, knew my life.” They had met initially through mutual friends - hockey friends of his back home, even - and she has other friends who happen to be wives or girlfriends of athletes. She can’t say she came into the relationship completely oblivious to the downsides of dating a professional player.

“Not really,” she shrugs, “All the other guys can find some sort of balance, but not you. All the other girls get a proper boyfriend, someone who spends time doing what they want to do, who sticks up for them when their psycho fans start to turn on them, who doesn’t keep them hidden away like some dirty secret.”

“That isn’t fair, I can’t control that stuff, Talia, it’s not my fault.” He wants to point out that she was the one engaging in their gossip and riling them up, but he can’t keep harping on about something she refuses to acknowledge. He doesn’t have the time, patience or energy for it anymore.

The initial ‘leaking’ of their relationship had caused their first major fight. Fans online had somehow - although Nico can now hazard a guess as to how - found out about the two of them, had dug into Talia, her background, her family, her job, and had found some pretty toxic posts on her social media. They had been old posts, and she had told Nico that wasn’t the kind of person she was anymore - and he had no reason not to believe her, had never seen or heard her act in the ways she had online in what she called her misguided youth - but someone in the PR department at the Devils had cottoned onto the topic, and had warned Nico of speaking out in her defence when the pitchforks started to raise.

He’d told her he supported her, but he couldn’t do so publicly - not without upsetting people within the organisation he had worked so hard to gain the respect of - and she had told him she understood. They hadn’t been together that long, it would have been a little unreasonable for him to put her above his work in the ways she was expecting, but she clearly doesn’t see it that way, now.

“Maybe not, but if I’d have known that being with you meant having my life invaded, my career ruined, I never would have followed you back here, Nico.” She sounds more solemn now - regretful, even - and as deep as her words cut, she says it like a piece of advice, “I just hope whatever poor girl you’ve got tangled up in your mess this time knows what she’s getting herself into.”

“And what’s that?” His throat feels tight as he speaks all of a sudden, his resolve in defending himself fading, and he tries to gulp down whatever lump is forming there but the feeling doesn’t budge.

This is what she’s good at.

Turning the tables. Reducing him to uncertainty of himself, of his actions, of his memory of their time together.

“A one-sided relationship with a guy who will never be able to put her first.”

There’s a point in every game he has ever had the misfortune of losing, as the seconds count down in the final third, where he has to come to terms with the fact that there’s no possible way for him to win. It’s sort of comparable to the way his insides churn when he’s on a plane and it drops into descent, like his body is falling at a different speed to his surroundings, or the feeling he gets in his gut when he’s hiking, and he dares to take a peek over the edge of whatever mountainside he’s trekking up, where his body can predict the fall, and his mind has set on there being nothing he can do about it.

This feels like all those feelings.

“Whoever she is, and I know she exists, she doesn’t deserve that. It’s not fair.”

Nico’s heart pounds in his chest, echoing and thrumming in his ears until all he can hear is the beat reverberating, ricocheting around his skull.

He can put Poppy first.

So many parts of their lives are intertwined, it would be so easy to make it work. They work together, they live close, he speaks to her more than he speaks to anyone else in his circle. They’ve spent more time together as friends than he has with any other girlfriend he’s had.

He’s wanted her for years, of course he can do it.

Except, deep down, he knows he can’t. Being in a committed relationship with someone is an entirely different ball game to a friendship, no matter how close he and Poppy have been over the years.

He knows there’ll come a point soon into the season where he has to knuckle down and focus, can’t let anything or anyone distract him, and he’ll close himself off. It’s what he has always done. He gets in his head, starts to carry too much weight that he can’t shift until that final buzzer blows - and he can only hope that it happens with his team in the playoffs. Winning, thriving, succeeding. And for that to happen, he can’t prioritise anything other than the game he’s already dedicated his life to, his training, and most importantly, his team.

It isn’t about what he wants.

What have you done? He thinks, his chest aching.

Talia is right.

Poppy doesn’t deserve that.

She doesn’t deserve him only being there in the physical sense, if she even gets that at all. Doesn’t deserve him getting snappy and stressed, doesn’t deserve him not being able to give her time, or give her attention or affection like he wants to, or like she’s worthy of.

“I need to go.” He manages to choke out with a shake of his head, shouldering past her to pick up his jacket - needing to be out of this conversation and away from Talia. “Leave the keys, I don’t want you here when I get back.”

He needs to see Poppy.

He never should have left her - he wishes with everything in him that he had soaked up the time he had with her before everything came tumbling down around him. And somewhere deep within him, there is a fragile, wilting piece of hope that clings to the belief he can make things right. He just needs her to hone in on it. If anyone can reach into the deepest cracks of his insecurities, can show him he’s overthinking things and everything is not as hopeless as he has made it out to be, it will be Poppy.

Poppy

The first time Poppy had ever fallen asleep beside Nico was at a movie night in Jack’s old apartment he shared with Ty Smith. Jack had invited more people round than could reasonably fit in their living room, and so everyone was smushed in - each chair and every inch of floor space used to its full capacity. 

Nico had attempted to save Poppy a space, to give him credit. He had scowled at each of his teammates who tried to throw themselves down in the tiny slot beside him - prime space, corner of the comfiest couch, facing the tv directly, a small table to the side where one could keep their drinks and snacks - only, by the time Poppy got there, he had barely gotten away with man-spreading to make room, so the small section of the couch between Nico and the arm rest had become her designated spot.

It was cosy, to put it nicely. He had to swing his arm over the back so that she wasn’t being assaulted by the hard dig of his shoulder with every laugh, and her closest leg was pretty much on top of his for most of the film.

She’d known the guys for almost a year - had been working in media, attending every game, home and away, and had integrated herself into the group pretty closely - and she felt pretty comfortable around everyone.

It wasn’t the kind of dynamic she had anticipated falling into when she first got the job with the Devils. She was supposed to start getting serious about her life - cracking down on mingling with co-workers and throwing herself into new social circles, and focusing on building a career for herself, climbing through the ranks and attaining the kind of success and happiness she could shove in her family’s disapproving faces - but the guys had charmed her.

Jack had been somewhat relentless in his pursuit of Poppy’s friendship. He rarely took no for an answer when it came to inviting her out. He was new to New Jersey - a much younger player in a slightly older team - and his rookie season had been rough, so it came naturally to Poppy to want to provide comfort. She introduced him to some of her friends, showed him her favourite spots close to his apartment, found him a decent barber, picked up extra fruit whenever she went to the farmers market near her parent’s house and took it over to his and Ty’s place when she came back home so she could mother him into having his 5-a-day as if he didn’t have access to the best nutrition coaches in the country. Despite her best efforts, Jack had weaselled his way under her skin in the way only a brother could.

Nico’s charm was entirely different.

Nico’s charm came in the form of convenience at first - in the oh I live that way, I can drive you and I have some time, I can do some media stuff for you type of way. Convenience blended into companionship - I haven’t eaten either, we should go for lunch together and I’ve been wanting to watch that movie, do you want to watch it with me?

It turned into grabbing food together, even on days neither of them were working - breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, even coffee or sometimes drinks if they could meet up with the rest of the team. It turned into him spending time at her place, whether it was helping her paint her apartment, putting up her new wardrobes, or just binging whatever crazy long series Poppy had decided to start over from the beginning - she provided him with a sense of familiarity and calm he couldn’t really find in anyone else he had met in his time in the states. She became his person, his home away from home, away from home.

And he became hers. 

There wasn’t as much she had to escape; her job not as strenuous, the expectations of her not as high, but when things built up for her - when her mother became overbearing, or her latest endeavour into a relationship crashed and burned - Nico was there. He’d make sure she had a distraction, made sure she was looking after herself, and, in turn, would look after her as well. He made sure she got home safe on nights out, or when they returned from a roadie and landed late - he would always make sure to see her off into the comfort of her own home before he went back to his own. 

And that first time she’d fallen asleep beside him, he’d done the same.

He’d wrapped an arm around her to make her as comfortable as possible for as long as he could, and when the movie had finished - when her face was burrowed into the side of his chest, soft snores falling from between her lips - he gently drew her back to consciousness with his hand stroking at her cheek.

She’d been a little startled, hand shooting up to wipe at her chin and thankful she hadn’t been drooling on him - although with the easy smile he was giving her, she had thought he of all people wouldn’t have minded. 

“Movie’s done, do you need a ride home?” His voice had been low and soft as not to worsen her apparent disorientation, and his hand was still lingering by the side of her face.

She had nodded, blinking away her sleepiness, and working her way up from the couch and onto her feet, stretching out her muscles as Nico did the same.

The two of them bid their goodbyes to the rest of the guys, made their way together to Nico’s car, and he had driven her back to her apartment, chatting on the drive about work and training. 

Poppy had been cramming to prepare for her interview for the Foundation at the time - had been getting herself seriously worked up, staying up late, getting up early, barely allowing herself any time for anything fun - and Nico had seen right through her. 

He’d stopped her before she got out of the car, had held her hand, rubbing at her knuckles with his thumb, and had told her that she should get some proper rest, and that she was going to absolutely rock their world in her interview in a few days time. And, knowing she was going to ignore any instruction he gave to make herself some decent dinner and go to bed early, had ordered her favourite Japanese takeout to be delivered a good half an hour after she got inside, with a text that followed telling her to sleep straight after she had finished.

She’d never expected to drift asleep with him on Jack’s couch - had never expected to open her eyes to the sight of his looking so warmly back at her.

And she hadn’t expected the same thing this morning, because, as her eyes drifted open to the intrusive light peaking through the cracks in her curtains, it wasn’t the first time she had woken up.

The first time had been to subdued movements, a slight groan of her bed frame, and the soft pattering of footsteps leading away. It had been to a hushed voice, the creak of her bathroom door, the flush of a toilet and the uttering of a name she had hoped she would never have to worry about again.

Talia.

The rest of his words had been uttered in his own language, but that she could understand.

She had acted purely on fight or flight instinct, laying back and pretending she was asleep - although as soon as she did, she regretted it, her mind racing at the million and one other possibilities she could have gone with. Sitting up, waiting for him to come out and asking him what was going on being the most rational.

But when had she ever gone with the most rational thought?

She tried not to react as she felt his presence, felt the soft press of his lips to her skin, or the placement of her bunny in her arms. Tried not to follow him as soon as he departed her bedroom, beg him to come back and whatever was going on could wait until the proper turn of the morning. Tried not to get up and go after him when the click of the lock to her main door echoed throughout the empty apartment.

And she tried not to cry as she laid in bed, overthinking herself back to sleep, thoughts racing to the point of exhaustion, and hoping when she woke up again it had just been a god-awful dream.

But it hadn’t.

The spot beside her in bed is empty, not even a crease in the pillow to prove he was ever there - only the t-shirt of his she still adorned, the one that when she takes a deep inhale, still smells like him, and the distinct aching between her thighs.

She finds more evidence of their night together in the bathroom, where she undresses herself with sore muscles and glances in the mirror to see the spattering of purple marks forming on her chest and neck. Her fingers trace over them lightly, her fleeting touch bringing vivid images forth of his lips pressing to her skin, practically able to feel the pressure of her flesh being nipped and bitten again.

He had been so attentive to her - so in tune with what she needed and wanted, and so ready to give her whatever that may be. He’d been gentle at some points, and purposeful at others, and every little thing he did, he did it with sweet disposition.

The kind of man who treats a girl like that doesn’t just leave her in the dead of night with no good reason, right?

Her mind races despite her body going into auto-pilot throughout her morning routine. Her shower is over in the flash of an eye, she strips her bed, starts her laundry, makes herself some tea and gets herself dressed - all the while weighing out all the possibilities of what could have taken him away from her, and what she would be able to understand. 

That quickly turns to her imagining the worst, and a tight, constricting feeling starts to consume her chest. 

There isn’t a single part of her apartment she can get away from the thoughts buzzing around her brain - her kitchen marred with the memory of what had happened on the counter, her couch, her bedroom, her bathroom - all carrying distinct memories of Nico that she needs to bench until she knows the truth.

She mistakenly thinks her escape might lie in her phone. There might be a text there waiting, explaining everything and relieving all the anxiety that has welled up in her very core.

Nia’s warnings from the night before don’t ring quick enough in her mind as the screen comes to life, the immediate barrage of notifications flooding in.

2 missed calls from Mom

Mom: Just calling to remind you of proper table etiquette in case it has slipped your mind, I won’t have you embarrass me in front of a Lyon.

Mom: Cutlery going from the outside in, hold your wine glass by the stem and dab with your napkin, don’t swipe!

Mom: Also let the man tuck your chair in and pay the bill, this 21st century woman nonsense is very unbecoming!

Mom: And I don’t want to have to bring this up but for the love of God, Poppy, have some class. I don’t want to hear mutterings of your promiscuity at the next luncheon.

Whoever taught her mom to text deserves a prison sentence, she thinks.

Tucker Lyon standing a girl up and ghosting her attempts to contact him is what’s unbecoming, not her trying to pay her half of the meal.

She can picture her mother as she reads the texts, sipping on her Manhattan on the couch in the great room, her dad already having retreated to bed at that time, and her having nothing better to do than sit and stew on her daughter’s sex life.

If she knew what was really going down last night, her mom would probably have a conniption.

Knowing she’ll no doubt be getting a call later that evening, Poppy swipes away at her text thread with her mom, immediately checking the notifications she hasn’t long received from her best friend.

Nia: hey if you happen to release yourself from Nico’s wandering hands at all today me and Kelsey are grabbing breakfast by my work!!

Nia: if you need refuelling we’ll be at Marco’s at 9 😘 

Perfect. Therein lies her escape. Breakfast with her best friends, where they can hopefully talk her down from the ledge she’s precariously placed herself on.

A catch up with her girls, and then she can distract herself with work.

Poppy: I’ll be there!!

“Hasn’t he text you or anything?” Nia asks, covering her mouth as she chews on her breakfast bagel, the three girls sat around a table inside their favourite cafe close to Nia’s office.

When Poppy and Nia had first moved in together, they rented an apartment in Hoboken, not too far, and their tradition of grabbing breakfast at Marco’s carried on despite Poppy living further down the river and working even further away in Newark. 

Kelsey had lived in Manhattan at that time, but she stayed over so often with the other girls that she practically spent majority of her week there, and so Poppy and Nia’s routine became hers.

Poppy had given the two of them a brief rundown of her night with Nico, a safe-for-work version of events, all leading up to the mysterious early morning phone call and swift departure.

“Nope,” she sighs, swiping to refresh her messages as if she hasn’t put her phone on loud just to be alerted when he does reach out.

“Have you text him?”

“Nope,” she repeats, putting the phone down and leaning back in her chair, running a hand through her already messed up hair. She’s going to have to throw it up if she wants to look any sort of presentable when she gets to work later.

“Is he usually this pathetic at communicating?” Kelsey asks, manicured nails swiping at a bunch of Sweet’n Lows like she’s trying to play Tetris with the packets. 

Kelsey hasn’t met Nico before, not that Poppy can remember.

Despite considering her one of her closest friends, their personal lives have never quite intertwined like that - not like hers and Nia’s.

In college, things were different. They were coming into their own together, figuring out just what they wanted their personal lives to be, and so Kelsey, Poppy and Nia would all share pretty much everything, just to have someone there to validate their feelings.

But that changed once they graduated.

Kelsey moved in with her boyfriend, Liam - who just so happens to be Poppy’s idea of hell-spawn.

The kind of guy her mother would probably love.

Liam worked on Wall Street, couldn’t go five minutes of conversation without talking about stocks or investment funds. His native language was risky money moves and belittling remarks, and he treated Kelsey like an accessory to parade around in public and discard in private.

Poppy had tried a few times to open Kelsey’s eyes to the way that it was, but it soon became apparent that she had to let her friend make her own mistakes, and some parts of their lives didn’t have to cross over.

They broke up around Thanksgiving, and Poppy had tried with all her might not to show her relief, but it has made her somewhat resentful when it comes to other relationships - like no one can be happy if she isn’t.

She knows it isn’t malicious, but she restrains from letting Kelsey all the way in, all the same.

“Not really,” Poppy lies, not wanting to clue her in on the Big Freezewhere he didn’t speak to her for months on end. It doesn’t entirely help her case. “I just don’t get why he’d sneak out to see her of all people, he told me they weren’t ever that solid, that he wasn’t happy with her.”

“Ooh, what if she’s pregnant?” Kelsey is entirely oblivious to the horrific realm of possibility she has just opened Poppy up to, evidenced by the casual chuckle and subsequent sip of her coffee. “Maybe she’s back to baby-trap him.”

Poppy thinks she would have to flee the state.

Nico is a family guy - if Talia is pregnant, he’d force himself to love her again, if he ever even stopped, for the sake of their gorgeous brown eyed, floppy haired baby, and push Poppy to the side just like he had before. And she’ll have to watch him from the sidelines, yearning for what she had just managed to touch the tips of her fingers to before it was violently yanked from her grasp. 

Maybe she’d have to flee the country even - move somewhere remote where she doesn’t even have the chance of being reminded of hockey, let alone of him.

Somewhere with no coffee shops that she’d enter, and the smell of fresh pastries would remind her of all the breakfasts they had together. No railways, where she’d be reminded of his love for model trains every time she came across the tracks. No weird club music that he loves so much, or dorky wizard franchises he chastises her for never having seen.

Maybe Antarctica. They only have penguins there. No real civilisation that she knows of. No brown haired, dark eyed Swiss Gods with deep, honeyed voices that make her knees weak and dimpled smiles that do even worse.

She wouldn’t be able to cope with losing him like that, living her life in an endless mental cycle of what ifs and maybes.

“Kelsey, I beg of you to read the room,” Nia chastises, swatting the girl on her arm before taking Poppy’s hand in her own. “Don’t listen to her, she just wants us all to be single at the same time.”

“Sue me for wanting to have fun! It would be just like college, you and me full-body plunging into the dating pool. Imagine the chaos, Pop, you don’t wanna be tied down to a guy hung up on his ex right now.”

“Dating pool?” Nia scoffs, turning to glare at her, “You’re hardly dry from your last relationship.”

“I’d rather be a grape than a raisin, Ni.” Kelsey chides back, and Poppy can’t help the twitch of her lips at the horrific comparison. 

“You’re really gonna listen to a girl who says that?” Nia asks, unable to mask the glint of humour in her eyes, and Kelsey bites back a smile, too.

Despite the ache in her chest at the thought of any of it - of Nico leaving her this morning, filling her up with empty words and false promises, potentially knocking up an ex girlfriend he is still secretly hung up on even though he told her otherwise - she manages to crack a full smile.

“You are terrible at analogies, Kels,” Poppy tries to hide the grin behind her cup, sipping at her tea and letting the warmth of it soothe the pain in her throat. 

“I’m trying to encourage you to be a strong, independent woman here!”

“She is a strong, independent woman,” Nia defends, “She also happens to be a chronic over-thinker with a deep seated fear of confrontation.”

“I don’t fear confrontation.”

“Then why are we here chit-chatting about hypothetical scenarios when you could just text him and ask what’s up?”

“Maybe ‘cause that’s scary?” Poppy scoffs, only half joking. “What am I supposed to say, hey I just so happened to eavesdrop on your private conversation before you fled my apartment this morning, and despite me not understanding most of it, I definitely heard you mention someone, so could you just let me know if your gorgeous model ex girlfriend is pregnant with your perfect specimen baby?”

“Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out, you don’t even need us.”

Poppy rolls her eyes.  

She could text him. Could be casual about it, a good morning or even an are you okay? Those don’t warrant the alarm bells she’s afraid of raising - the ones that blare out with the siren sound of run, this girl is unhealthily attached to you already!

But she doesn’t want to be the pathetic girl chasing after the guy sending her clear messages that he doesn’t want her.

It’s easier said than done not to overthink the whole thing - not to second guess everything he had said, or everything she had done last night.

She feels like she had rushed things. It was so impulsive, so charged, and after spending the majority of her week away from him, she just hadn’t been able to help herself. And that makes her feel like a hypocrite. She had told him that night he had first kissed her that things between them had gotten intense. It had been the whole reason for spending a few days outside of each other’s company, and in the first possible instance, she had thrown herself at him.

It was desperate.

And maybe that scared him.

It sure as hell scares her.

“I don’t know what to do,” She groans, throwing her head into her hands and scrunching her eyes shut to try and drown out the endless doubt. 

She feels two hands rub at either sides of her back, “Listen, Pop,” Nia is the first to attempt to console her, as always, and Poppy holds her breath for the harsh reality check she’s about to throw her way. “You know I am the one person who would usually be trying to convince you to cut your losses and run when it comes to guys who are no good, but this is Nico. I’ve watched the two of you ignore your feelings for far too long to let you get in your own way, now.

“And you’re forgetting I saw him last night, before you got there, there isn’t a chance in Hell he would have left you like that without a good reason. I don’t for a second think he’s still hung up on her.” Nia casts a side eye to Kelsey.

The only problem is that Poppy isn’t sure there’s a reason good enough. Not when it comes to Talia. Not when the memory of those months of radio silence is still so fresh for her.

“I have to go to work in a building where his face is plastered everywhere, Ni, I can hardly forget his entire existence until he deems me worthy of an explanation. Who leaves after a night like that without even a note or a text?”

“An idiot,” Kelsey mutters around her drink, rolling her eyes when Nia sends her another death-glare.

“I’m not asking you to forget, I’m telling you to wait.” Nia frowns, but her tone remains consoling and warm. “You need to stop letting what this thinks,” she flicks at Poppy’s forehead, “Get in the way of what this knows.” She points to her chest on the left side. “You know him. You know how much he likes you.”

She does.

She knows Nico, she trusts him.

She can only judge him based on his actions so far - the ones that tell her that he cares. He leads with his heart, it’s his most attractive attribute. He’s gentle and loving and she needs to focus on those things over anything else.

“Ugh, corny,” Kelsey drags, and despite her repeated efforts to discourage her, Poppy knows she isn’t being entirely serious. “If he has any non-stupid hot athlete friends though, I’m first in line when the two of you kiss and make up for double dates.”

Guilt pricks slightly at Poppy’s chest - for making her recently single friend sit here and listen to her complain about something so monumentally small compared to the breakdown of the long-term relationship Kelsey had just endured. Even if it was perceivably toxic.

“You’d make such a good WAG, Kels.”

It’s a poor attempt to make up for it, but it seems to console her friend all the same, a giant grin breaking out and flashing her perfect pearly whites.

“I know.”

Poppy tries to distract herself with work. Tries to make her way through her inbox of seemingly never ending emails and her list of ever-growing tasks. She types up lengthy responses, puts together a presentation, makes a bunch of phone calls she’s been putting off for God knows how long, sorts all her invoices out - she even sends a fax. In the year 2024. It’s her most productive work day she thinks she’s ever had.

She zeroes in on the ground every time she moves through the building. Ignores the pictures that line the walls of the Rock, pushes down the memories of all the times she’s walked these very halls by Nico’s side, and she thinks she’s done just about enough to clear her mind for the time being.

She hasn’t thought up some heart wrenching scenario in at least an hour by the time she’s wrapping up for the day.

She’s making her way back to her office after dropping some files off for Elaine when she catches sight of a mop of curls over the top of the chair by her desk.

Luke is sat in her chair when she enters, swivelling around and staring at the ceiling.

“You’re gonna make yourself sick doing that, you know.”

“You’re such a mom,” he scoffs, standing up and clearly trying not to sway, “You ever tried having fun? I think I saw a glue stick on a table out there,” he points through the door into the wider office space, where there are a few, less private cubicles and a common area. “We should go sniff them, let loose a little.”

“Is that why you’re here on your day off? To huff glue?”

“Yeah, I don’t get to let loose enough. Being a rookie in the NHL is hard, Poppy,”

“Bummer for you.” She pouts, mockingly, swerving past him as he rounds her desk and sits on the other side, flicking at the bobblehead version of his older brother that stands by her computer. “If you’re chasing a high can you do it with one of the other departments, it’s not a good look for the Youth Foundation.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t.”

When Luke had first joined the Devils, she hadn’t expected that she would warm to him the way she has - but, surprisingly enough, considering the fact they’re brothers, their relationship recently has started to mirror her and Jack’s.

Luke is funny. He’s sarcastic and a little silly, and it can be nice to have him around when work gets a little stressful. He doesn’t let the pressures of his own career outweigh those of hers, and, despite the gap in age, she actually enjoys his company.

But he never seeks her out like this.

Their interactions have always started through other people. Group conversations that dwindle to just the two of them, or he usually accompanies Jack to bug her and carries on when Jack’s ever-so-busy schedule takes him elsewhere.

She can’t think of another time he’s just shown up in her office alone.

Especially on his incredibly rare day off.

“Why are you actually here?” She asks, casting a suspicious but half-playful glare his way as she starts to pack up her things. 

“Came to see if you wanted to join us for dinner.”

“Aw Lukey,” she reaches over her desk to pinch his cheek, “I’m flattered and all but I’m a little too old for you.”

“Ha ha,” he swats her hand away, “Us. Me and Jack. Maybe a couple of the others if they’re free but you can pick where we go if you make a decision quickly, we were thinking a steakhouse.”

She narrows her eyes at him, expecting him to crack a joke about her being old, but he just looks back at her awaiting a response. “Why?” She drags out the question, her movements stopping completely.

“Maybe ‘cause humans need sustenance to live? What do you mean, why?”

“Why would you want me to tag along on your bro date?”

“Don’t call it a bro date,” Luke cringes, “Just remembered you were working today and we were in the area, don’t know why you’re being weird about it.”

“You’re being weird. You guys never let me choose where we eat. Don’t you remember that time we grabbed dinner when you guys drove me home and Jack told me to stop being a pussy about my seafood allergy ‘cause he wanted sushi.”

“Don’t blame me for the crimes of my brother, Poppy, he was obviously joking.”

“I had to eat tofu, Luke, I don’t find that very funny.”

“Are you coming or not?”

“That depends, how do you have your steak?”

“Well done.”

“Oh! Then absolutely not.”

“Remind me never to try to be nice to you again.” He scowls as they make their way out of her office, and she locks up behind the two of them.

“Gladly, it’s creeping me out.” She grabs at his elbow before he can carry on, stopping him in the otherwise empty common area where she knows no one is around to listen in. “Is something going on, seriously?”

Luke rolls his eyes, but she knows him well enough that it’s only done in an attempt to avert from her gaze. 

Bingo. He’s hiding something.

“I just thought you might want some company.” He shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets and twisting his lips to keep from saying much more.

“Why?”

If Poppy wanted to spend her life getting a straight answer out of people for a living, she’d have become an interrogator. What is it with these guys and their inability to answer a simple question?

“Jack said you left the party last night with Nico.”

Poppy’s eyebrows scrunch so close together that she can feel a deep crease form between them. What on earth does that have to do with asking her to dinner? Or being overly nice to her?

Unless-

“You’ve seen him?”

“This morning.”

“Oh.”

All of her efforts from throughout the day seem to have been for nothing - an immediate rush of insecurities flooding her mind.

Where did he see him? What did he say? Was he okay? Was Talia there?

She feels like she can gauge an answer from the way Luke looks. Sheepish, almost, like he doesn’t want to say something he knows will hurt her feelings.

She had to have been with him. He wouldn’t just show up to her office like this if it wasn’t something that would seriously hurt.

She wishes she wasn’t the kind of person who did this - who filled in the gaps of conversations and always came out with the worst possible outcomes - but she can’t help it. She’s been doing it all her life, and there’s rarely ever an instance where her instincts have led her astray.

She knows it’s some weird part of her mind protecting her, but she needs to do something here. Nia’s words from earlier ring like a warning. Don’t let what her brain thinks get in the way of what her heart knows.

Her heart knows Nico wanted her. Knows Nico liked her. Knows Nico wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.

She needs to figure things out for herself and stop running, stop letting her mind fill in the gaps of a situation it can’t even comprehend to begin with.

She reaches her arms around Luke’s shoulders, stretching up on her tip toes to pull him into a hug before rubbing her knuckles into his curls, affectionately.

Luke Hughes is sarcastic and silly, and he cares enough about her to not want her to be alone if she’s going through something.

“Thank you for the offer, Luke, but I’ll be alright.”

“Are you sure?”

She nods, a tender smile tugging at the corners of her stubborn lips. It takes over her face, eyes glinting fondly and cheeks warming. 

“Yeah, you can walk me to my car if you’re that worried about me though.” She loops her arm through his elbow as they make their way to the parking lot, and when they get there, he makes sure she’s in her car and has set off before him and Jack leave.

As if her day can’t get any worse, the elevator in her building is cordoned off with tape and a sign when she gets home, and she has never regretted moving up a floor as much as she does when she’s trudging up 6 flights of stairs.

She’s exhausted. Emotionally and physically, and she just wants to throw herself into bed and pretend the last 24 hours were a terrible dream.

Only, as she rounds the final corner to get to her door, any hopes of that go straight down the pan when her eyes land on Nico, standing in front of her door with his hands buried in his jacket pocket.

He looks tired too - hair messed where he’s no doubt been taking his cap on and off for however long he’s been stood here, running a hand through the tresses until they’re all askew. 

His shoulders are slumped, and he doesn’t even greet her with that pretty smile he usually gives her.

His lips do curve up a touch - limp and half-hearted, not even enough for a dimple to form - but it doesn’t provide the comfort she had thought it would.

She feels anxious. A culmination of the day’s emotions washing over in one go. Sad, regretful, nervous, disappointed - all things she shouldn’t be used to feeling when it comes to Nico, but are all too familiar when she takes the last few months into account.

“Hi.” She gives a weak smile of her own.

“Can we talk?”

She wishes he’d have just said hi, back. That might have relieved the tightness in her chest just a little.

Nothing good ever comes of can we talk?

He steps aside as she approaches, maintaining a safe distance as she opens the door and enters her apartment.

The Nico from yesterday might have brushed past her, the graze of an arm or a lingering hand, but this Nico doesn’t. He barely even meets her eye.

He closes the door behind himself, watching as she discards her bag and keys to the console table on the side, and while she’s turned away from him, she tries to let whatever emotions need to come out cross her features where he can’t see them.

She needs to be cool about this, she thinks.

If she doesn’t get her back up, doesn’t get agitated, she won’t scare him off.

“Are you okay?” She asks once she’s turned to face him, not liking how he stands unmoving by the door. He hasn’t made any effort to settle in - his jacket still on and his hands still hidden in the pockets.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?”

She realises now that she can get a good look at him that the expression he wears is one of shame. Guilt. Apprehension. She needs to be careful and toe the line before he gets consumed by it, she realises.

She steps toward him a little, and he doesn’t back up - not immediately, not obviously - but he hardly welcomes her approach, either.

She doesn’t like feeling this way when it comes to talking to him - feeling uneasy and unsure, but there’s a part of her that’s tired of having to prompt him for answers.

He had been the one to leave this morning. Why can’t he just come out and tell her why?

“I’m alright,” she shrugs, not wanting to scare him off with the truth. “Super tired, though, can we sit?”

She wonders if he thinks about the same things she does as they make their way to the couch. Wonders if he can feel the scratch of her nails on his torso, or the brush of her lips against his, as they sit in the spot where not even 24 hours ago, their bodies had been intertwined.

He doesn’t sit right beside her as he normally would, and she finds herself missing the way his thigh usually brushes against her own.

She doesn’t know where to start or what to ask, and so she basks in the silence for a little - finding comfort in the fact that, despite the mess they’re currently in, they aren’t quite at the end yet.

But a part of her feels it coming.

She’d known it this morning if she lets herself listen to the rational voice in her head. As soon as she’d heard him say her name, as soon as he’d left, a part of her knew that was it, and maybe if she’d let herself believe it at the time - hadn’t talked herself down and convinced herself she was being irrational - she could have protected herself from all the ways this is going to hurt.

“I’m sorry.” He says, and when she looks up, he’s looking down where his large hands are now clasped together in his lap.

“For what?” She manages to choke out.

“Last night, I,” she digs her nails into the palms of her own hands to stop herself filling in the gaps as he figures out what he wants to say, but it’s no use.

He’s sorry for last night.

Last night, he made a mistake.

Last night, he was drunk, he was confused, he was just looking for something or someone to keep him occupied.

“I care about you so much, Poppy.”

That sentence shouldn’t be the one that fills her with dread, but it is.

“You’re my best friend, and I love you,” he does look up as he says this, eye meeting hers in an attempt to convey his honesty, but she sees more of the truth in his glassy gaze than she hears in his words. “This morning, I panicked, and I just needed some time to figure out what I want.”

No, no, no.

She’d rather he tell her what actually happened than do this. Than pretend he left because he doesn’t want her.

“I love you-,”

“You said that, already.” She can’t help the bite in her tone as she prepares herself for the hit. The I love you, but.

“You’re so important to me. Being your friend, it’s like it’s what keeps me sane lately.”

She chews at the inside of her cheek as she feels the tears start to well at her lash line.

“Poppy, I don’t want to mess up what we have,” he shakes his head as his gaze drops, dark eyes darting to focus anywhere but on her own, pleading and watery as she watches him slip away. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You don’t think this is hurting me?” She feels weak as her voice breaks, “You don’t think this is already messy?”

She reaches out to take his hands in hers, digging in to unclasp them, to try thread her fingers through, but he doesn’t make it easy.

“Nico, I love you, too, you know I do, we can figure it out, you don’t have to run away from me.”

It’s a desperate attempt and she knows it is, but she needs to know she tried. When she’s sobbing into her pillow and crying herself to sleep tonight, she needs to know she didn’t just let him go without a fight.

“I can’t give you what you want, I can’t be in a relationship, I’m no good at it.” 

Regardless of what she had told herself earlier, about taking what he says at face value, and trying not to fill in the gaps like she does so often with everyone else, she can’t help herself. When he says, I can’t be in a relationship, he means with her. He can’t be with Poppy. He would be no good with Poppy.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I told you-,”

“No, you said before that you’ve wanted this for as long as you’ve known me, you don’t just wake up and change your mind, not after-,” Poppy starts to feel panic building within her like a flipped over sand timer. Rising and rising until she starts to feel nauseous, getting harder with each second not to jump to conclusions. 

The voice inside her that tells her he got what he wanted and decided it wasn’t for him sounds caustic and bitter, and if she hadn’t wound herself up so much about this whole situation over the course of the day - the past week, even, or the months before - she might have been able to fight off the way it so easily convinces her.

“I have to put the team first, it doesn’t matter what I want, I have to focus on them, on hockey.”

She’s too caught up in her own emotions to notice how weak he sounds - glassy eyes unable to catch the glint in his. All she can hear, all she can see, is the minute hints of a cover-up - that she isn’t getting the whole story, that he’s lying to her, and that the excuse he’s giving is cowardly.

He still hasn’t mentioned the call, hasn’t mentioned Talia, hasn’t explained why he left her, why he didn’t say anything, why he didn’t come back.

“And you didn’t know that before?” She scoffs, pushing herself up off the couch and stepping away from him, “I can’t believe you would do this to me.” She wipes the tears from her cheeks as soon as they fall, but she can’t rid her skin of the feeling that they were there, her flesh damp and sore.

“I know we took things a little too far last night, but that doesn’t mean-,” She almost thinks he notices how bad that hurts her, referencing the night they shared as a mistake - an instance where they got carried away, and not where they followed through on years worth of built up tension and adoration for one another. She doesn’t even have to fill in the gaps, this time. Took things a little too far is clear enough. “We can still be friends. I want to be friends.”

“Friends?” Poppy jeers in disbelief, turning completely away from him now and missing the tears that drop from his own cheeks - missing the way his chest cracks and stretches open in a last ditch demonstration of his vulnerability, his desperation not to lose her completely. “You should go.”

“Poppy,”

“I can’t,” she tries so hard not to cry, knowing she won’t be able to stop, but the words come out in a choked sob, and her voice carries on in the whiney way she always hates. “You told me you wanted more, you said I was yours, and I’m supposed to just act like it never happened? Just accept you didn’t actually mean the things you said?”

“I meant them,” he says, defiantly, so sure of himself that it makes her head spin. “I wouldn’t-,”

“No, you didn’t. You’re a liar. You were either lying then, or you’re lying now. I don’t know which is worse. I can’t be your friend. I can’t pretend like you can that I don’t feel the way I feel.”

“Please, Mohn,” His fingertips just manage to reach out to land on her forearm before she shucks him off, wincing as if his touch has pained her.

“Don’t.” She takes an immediate step back, arms crossing over herself as a defence mechanism, body language screaming at him to go away, and she watches his pleading eyes drop to her arms just as she feels the cold of the metal there - so in tune with her every thought despite his denial of their true connection. Her arms move before her mind can make the decision, before it can remember what even sits on her skin, and her shaking fingers fumble to unclasp the jewellery adorned on her wrist. “You should take this back.”

Nico shakes his head, stepping back and away from the outstretched hand that holds her gemstone bracelet like it’s an actual danger to him. “No, that’s yours, Poppy.”

“I don’t want it.” She knows she’s the one that’s lying now. She wants the bracelet. She wants him. She doesn’t want him to leave. She wants to be his friend over being nothing. 

But she doesn’t want to hurt.

Looking at him hurts.

Remembering last night, remembering their kiss, the things he has said, the things he has done, it all hurts, and she can’t keep hold of a constant reminder of the pain, can’t wear it on her person at all hours of the day just to know deep down that the man who gave it to her will never want her the same way.

“I want you to leave.”

“Please,” he begs again, head tilting as devastation floods his features, brows pushing together, tears welling at the corners of his eyes, “We need to talk about this-,”

“No, you were right, we went too far, it was a mistake.” Her voice breaks as she says things she knows she doesn’t mean, but he’s already put it out there, so she doesn’t see the harm in echoing his own opinions. “There’s nothing more to talk about.”

She can’t look at him anymore, and so she drops her gaze to his hands, stepping and reaching forward and forcing him to take the bracelet from her before she rounds the couch and heads to the door.

If he isn’t going to give her the whole truth, she isn’t going to entertain part of the story, and she needs him gone so she can give in to the way her body wants to fold in on itself.

It takes him a minute to gather himself, but she refuses to look his way, waiting by the open door to her apartment and staring at the floor in front of her until his shoes appear.

“I do love you, Poppy. I’m leaving because I don’t want to upset you any more than I already have, and I’ll give you space if that’s what you need, but I’ll be here when you want to talk about this. I mean it when I say I can’t lose you.”

 She doesn’t say anything. She can’t say anything.

There’s a stabbing pain that’s building and building in the centre of her chest, and she doesn’t even think she can breathe in his presence.

He clasps a hand around her upper arm, and leans into her, his lips pressing a firm kiss into the crown of her head, and he lingers there for a moment before he retreats. 

She manages to push the door closed behind him, the click of the lock louder than ever, and waits a good few minutes in silence before her body is wracked with a silent sob.

The one time she had tried to be brave and fight her own intuition, and this is where it gets her.

So much for Nico wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.

Next Chapter

Taglist: @alwaysclassyeagle @bunbunbl0gs @idgaf-if-youre-here @youflowerr-youfeast @thearchersstuff @bellsdi0r @wonderheartz @jjgsunflower @butterflies35 @kenziepickle @josierosie @laheyxlover @mrsmattytkachuk (sorry if your tag hasn't worked btw)

[lesbolieeh]

Margarita (m)

Inexperienced!Subby!Jihyo ✦ Experienced!Fem!Reader

WC—4.7 ✦ k

WARNING—sex w/ a woman for the first time ✦ very intimate not-kinky sex ✦ praising ✦ body worship ✦ oral (giving, receiving) ✦ face-sitting (receiving) ✦ 69 ✦ fingering (giving, receiving) ✦ multiple orgasms (giving) ✦ nipple play ✦ hickeys (giving, receiving) ✦ pet names (baby, babe) ✦ brief dirty talk ✦ breath play & masturbation if you squint ✦ crying ✦ mentions of alcohol consumption

THEMES—nsfw ✦ first girl crush au ✦ summer love ✦ friends to ...? ✦ a bit angsty at times

NOW PLAYING—Mystery of Love ✦ Sufjan Stevens

A/N. this was the first time I tried writing a smut that didn't have any clear power dynamics and I rly liked writing it! I don't think all smut needs to have a dom x sub. So to those of you requesting smut, don't feel pressured to pick "kinky" stuff like spanking, bondage, "mommy", choking etc because oral, 69, fingering, hickeys, body worship, praising etc can be picked as "kinks" too — besides I'm a smut writer I can't judge u lmaooo

M.LISTS—twice ✦ latest updates ✦ read on wp

All rights reserved © lesbolieeh

✦ ੈ ✦ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✦‧₊˚＊* ੈ ✦ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✦‧₊˚＊* ✦ ੈ ✦

"I'm sorry I didn't say it earlier," you heard Jihyo's voice from beside you. You two were sitting on a bench in the park you two had first hung out. Dahyun, your best friend, and you had been sitting at a bar and Jihyo had been there too — except with the company of a tall dude. She had been too distracted looking at him and you had been too distracted laughing at one of your comedian bestie's jokes, which resulted in Jihyo walking into you, spilling both of your drinks in the process. Like the decent people you both were, you apologized and even proposed repaying each other and smiled when you realized that you both had ordered margaritas.

So you drank margaritas all night, forgetting about then saying bye to Dahyun and that guy, until the bar closed and you decided to buy this one special large sized margarita to share at the park not too far away. By the end of the laugh-filled night (which quickly turned into morning), you had a feeling that you'd see each other a lot more afterwards. And you were right. Ever since that sunrise told you to part ways and leave one big margarita glass by the bar's door, you had made it a tradition to buy one every Friday to share as you chat and giggle on the same bench at the same park under the moonlight until another sunrise would tell you it's time to go.

As you had gotten to know each other, you found out the guy at the bar was her boyfriend Daniel, and she found out you were going to leave Korea at the end of the summer. After that, you'd made a promise you'd try to spend as much time together as possible over the sweet summer before you'd fly away.

"Are you drunk?" you asked, shaking your head at her words.

One day she'd called you over to her place, crying on the phone. Her then-boyfriend had broken up with her, claiming she didn't show him love. But the part that shocked you was that she confessed he was right. So why had she been crying? A guy she didn't have feelings for broke up with her...that wasn't a bad thing, right?

"No."

"I saw a margarita on your story before you got here. You know I'm very familiar with JYP bar."

"It was margarita, yes, but it was alcohol-free."

"Oh."

"I know you're going away next week but I needed to tell you before I lost the chance to say it."

"Damn."

"I know. I'm fucking sorry but I've never had feelings for a woman before. Shit, I didn't even know I was into women but it explains why I never had strong feelings for any of my exes."

She looked down at your hand, feeling tears building up in her eyes. Fuck. Not only had she confessed to you but you didn't seem to reciprocate. Fuck. Had she ruined the last week with you?

"I like you too."

"W-What..." she stuttered, beginning to smile for the first time tonight.

You put your hand on hers, intertwining your fingers, "Let's make the best out of this last week we have together."

She intertwined your fingers in return, looking at them and smiling big. "Yes."

As to not waste time, you took a cab to her place immediately. Typical queer stereotype to move on to sex so damn fucking fast. Well, typically queer people in a conservative country have a harder time confessing to each other in fear of rejection and possible hate crime, so when you finally muster up courage and get accepted, you often feel the need to move quickly to make up for all the time you could've but didn't spend together. And you two only had a week left together, might as well fuck every day since you hadn't done that even once over the whole damn fucking summer. What a fucking waste to overthink and overanalyze possible outcomes of a confession to the point that you delay the confession until one week before one of you has to leave the country. So fucking typical that two women who like each other don't say shit because they don't want to make the other person uncomfortable or ruin the perfect fucking connection they have with one another. Fuck.

Soon as you stepped foot into your apartment, you locked the door and captured her lips with yours. It was the first kiss she'd ever shared with a woman and she wanted to melt into you and stay lips to lips forever. So this was how a kiss should feel? All this time she had thought she was weird for not liking kissing or foreplay but now she understood what the problem was: she had never genuinely liked any of her previous partners. You took a few steps, not letting go of her lips, until Jihyo's back met the wall. She smiled with a blush. She had never smiled into a kiss before. But she felt...happy? Maybe just content? Or maybe she just felt good that she's doing shit people her age should be doing: making out with people they find attractive? Eh, maybe she was just exaggerating because this was a new experience for her? (No, her happiness was not an exaggeration.)

Then you put your hands on her cheeks gently. Gently, as in to feel her softness, feel her skin, feel her smile on your hands. In the past, her exes had put their hands on her face to keep her from breaking the kiss or to assert dominance. Damn. These fuckers had no idea what they were doing. But you... You made her smile! You made her blush. You made her feel comfortable and beautiful.

After a while you broke the kiss, Jihyo's lips following yours in the air, which made her a bit embarrassed until you said "Shall we continue?" with a soft voice that made her feel safe and not judged. Jihyo nodded, giggling when you held your hands out for her to carry her bridal style. Height was actually an insecurity of hers but this action made her feel small in a good way, in a way that made her feel beautiful actually. Then she began blushing again, realizing you were carrying her to your bedroom, a place you'd only ever hung out at to talk, drink something that wasn't margarita or do the most random shit you'd think of when you were bored at night after a long day of work.

But now this casual, 'friend' place would be where you were going to have sex. It made her smile. Oh how many times she'd imagined you two fucking and cuddling on this very bed. You weren't just walking into the bedroom, you were carrying her as if she were your bride. Holy shit. As soon as you were inside you put her down on the bed and sat down next to her.

"I think we should talk about preferences and boundaries before we continue," you said because communication is key (lmao). "I can start," you knew she'd most likely be too embarrassed to tell everything if she went first, "My main thing is I really like oral and fingering and I usually cum from clit stimulation rather than penetration. I tend to take more initiative during sex, but I am open to you doing that if you'd like. Actually there doesn't need to be any power roles in sex we can just have fun either way. Also I really like talking during sex. Hmm... I prefer not doing any anal stuff on me, if you would like me to do that on you I'm OK with that. I do own a toy collection at home so if you have any vibrators I'm OK with using that too." During your little speech Jihyo was smiling and trying not to blush, never hearing this type of conversation before (you don't hear the word 'sex' much in Korea). "I also would like to talk...during, hum, sex," she felt pressure with what to say, scared you would forever judge her based on the next words that would come out her mouth. You noticed she avoided eye contact, seeming nervous. "Jihyo, I'm no angel, you know. As long as you're not into rape I will not judge your preferences or boundaries," you held her hand, squeezing it lightly. She took a breath, bit more relaxed at the physical touch, "Mm, I like intimacy, like eye contact and such. Maybe hugging each other? I like both clit stimulation and penetration. I've never done this with a girl before so I would be more comfortable if you lead more I think." Her ears were red as were her cheeks. You brought her small hand to your face and kissed the back of it, which didn't help with her blush but at least it made her feel cared for (and wet).

You opened her hand and kissed each finger before putting her hand against your cheek to lean on. Jihyo put her other hand on your other cheek, leaning in to kiss you, smiling against each other. Kissing her felt like walking on clouds. Fluffy, pastel colored clouds. You continued kissing her, wanting to make sure she was wet and excited before you did anything to her (the last thing you wanted was to make her fake orgasm) and she only appreciated the longer fore play.

"May I?" you asked between kisses, pulling lightly on the bottom of her shirt to which she nodded still smiling. Maybe the margarita she had earlier wasn't alcohol-free since she was smiling so damn much. She almost felt embarrassed at her actions until you mirrored her expression and smiled too as you gave a few more kisses to her lips, reassuring her that smiling is never a bad action. She was so pretty. Her tan skin glowed like gold. Pulling her by her her thighs onto your lap so she was taller (lol), you had better access to her collarbones and chest and started kissing her neck lightly and hugging her waist closer to you. Her heart was beating fast, never looking forward to sex this much before. For every kiss you placed on her neck and down to her shoulder, she felt wetter and wetter. You started teasing her tit under her bra, as your other hand went down her pants to her lower back, not yet going to her butt or underwear, all while you kept kissing her collarbones so gently. She put her hands on your hair and started pushing your head to the tit that wasn't getting any attention, too shy to actually say what she wants. You got the memo and started kissing the part of her boob that was exposed from the bra but it wasn't enough so Jihyo took off her bra completely, showing her breathtakingly beautiful boobs. You started kissing harder on her boob, ignoring the nipple for now to tease her. When you heard her gasping and whining you gained confidence and started sucking on her nipple and pinching the other, while unbuttoning her pants with one hand (which was hard but you managed after a few seconds thankfully).

She got off your lap and you helped her take off her tight pants, leaving her in her blue underwear before pulling her back on your lap. You kissed her on her lips, she smiled and took off your shirt, hoped you couldn't see her blush. She was a bit shy now, having never seen a woman's tits in a sexual context before. You giggled, making her pout, and you placed her hand on your boob. Wow. It was softer than she thought; she was so used to the softness of feeling her own boobs that when she touched your boobs she was amazed by the feeling. No wonder people love boobs so much! She brought her other hand to play with both your boobs, exploring and enjoying. You on the other hand, began to touch and grab her lush, thick thighs. After feeling all her curves and edges you moved one hand to her inner thigh and felt something wet. Jihyo was a bit embarrassed. She had gotten so wet it was dripping down the inside of her thighs. "Aw, so wet for me already, Baby?" you looked up at her with a genuine smile, proud. She nodded, trying not to look you in the eyes. "I love it." She nodded again, now going down to suck on your tits to avoid looking you in the eyes. Now it was your turn to make noise, Jihyo not going gentle. You looked down at her, "You look so pretty from this point of view." She looked up at you, her mouth still on your skin. "Thank you." You put some hair away from her face, then resting your hand on her cheek to move her to your other boob that hadn't felt any oral stimulation yet. Your fingertips ghosted over her back, making her shiver slightly, before resting on her butt, grabbing and playing with it. She moaned against your boob accidentally using her teeth a bit, you moaned too.

You started feeling under the fabric covering her intimate parts, but only under the edge to tease her. Jihyo was getting needy and impatient. She got off your lap to take off your pants, and before you knew it you were stood staring at each other in only underwear. You opened your arms for her and hugged her closely, just breathing in each others arms, kissing her shoulder or your collarbone randomly. She looked you in the eyes and felt regret; regret that she or you hadn't confessed earlier. You too. You had liked her since the beginning but you had been scared of rejection or ruining such a good friendship. But you had each other now and that was all that mattered. Better late than never, right? You held each others soft cheeks and almost communicated with your eyes, I never want this to end, and kissed each other. This time it was more desperate and with roaming hands all over each others bodies before you led her to the bed to lay down. This was the bed that you two had laid on to watch movies on Netflix and Disney+, play drinking games during the movie which resulted in at least two empty soju bottles next to the bed. Now this would be the bed you would fuck in. She was ready because she also remembered every time you would go to the bathroom and she would wait in bed and look at your butt as you walked away and question if she was into girls or just liked looking at your butt out of curiosity. And you remembered every time she would go to the bathroom or to the kitchen to grab us a snack, and you would have a pep talk with yourself about telling her about your little crush. And now you were here. In that same bed. Filled with memories. But now with you two almost naked. Her on her back and you sat between her legs.

You kissed her one more time on her lips before moving down, placing butterfly kisses all the way down her chest to her stomach and stopping right above her core. She looked at you, expecting you to remove her undies. You lowered the underwear, she was breathing louder, you stopped when her hip bone was exposed, kissed it, then let the fabric cover her again. Jihyo whined. You smiled against her skin, kissing down her leg and to her inner thigh, giving an experimental lick. "Please." The wetness between your legs was getting uncomfortable at this point and you wanted to just take off your panties and sit on her face but you had to suppress your intrusive thoughts and be slow and gentle since this was your first time together — it was also her first time ever with a woman — so you just pressed your thighs against each other for the slightest stimulation. "Please what, Baby?" you asked kissing her other inner thigh, grabbing both of them with your hands. "Ngh— Can you— Can you touch it?" You gave one more big kiss to her thigh before moving to her face, "Anything for you," you pecked her lips. She opened her legs wider as you went down to give you more space, you looked at her before going down and pulling down her panties, her wetness sticking to them. You threw them away to some corner in the room and put your face in front of her pussy. She held out her hand towards you and you smiled, grabbing it before putting small kisses on her lips, avoiding her clit and slit for now. Jihyo was gasping and blushing. You pushed your tongue lightly through her slit and up to her clit, she squeezed your hand. You started kissing on her slit and clit too, gently, worshipping her body. She whined. "Please, ____." You kissed her clit, you looked at her, "Please, what, Baby?" She felt too shy to say it so she just put her free hand on your hair and pushed your face in her pussy. You took the hint and began licking. She felt relieved to finally being stimulated more harshly like she had craved all this time, accidentally pulling your hair. Pulling your hair wasn't an issue but it was hurting a bit so you held her wrist to tell her. "Oh sorry, Babe, I was getting carried away," Jihyo apologised, now moving your hair away from your eyes. You smiled. Omg she called you "Babe"!! You were determined to make her cum with only your mouth at least once before you finger her. "I love your taste, Baby," you whispered before going back to licking her luscious pussy. She blushed. You pulled her thighs closer to you, wanting to feel her softness on your neck and shoulders. This made Jihyo blush more but also more confident. You held eye contact with each other, hands intertwined, your other hand playing with her boob and pinching her nipple. "You look really pretty from this point of view," she said with a smirk. You smiled, arching your back so she had an even prettier view. She gulped. Everything was getting dizzy. Her clit was being licked exactly how she liked it and you noticed so you kept that same pace. Her chest was getting red and hot. Her hand was sweaty. Her moans were stuck in her throat. Her breathing was irregular. Her view was breathtaking. She saw your hand reaching down between our legs, playing with yourself while eating Jihyo out. She pushed you closer to her pussy, thighs closing in on you, hand squeezing yours harder, head falling back, eyes closed, she saw white. You continued riding her orgasm out with your gentle tongue until she felt overstimulated and unclenched her thighs from you.

As she regained her breathing to normal, you crawled up to lay beside her and hug her, pulling her into your chest. She put her face in your neck, taking in your scent and warmth. You weren't sure how high her sex drive was or if she liked cumming multiple times since you forgot to ask during your sex discussion so you thought this was enough for your first time together. But then Jihyo did something. She sat up, pulled off your underwear, proud when she noticed the wet stain, threw the panties away. This night was not over yet. She kissed your cheek and then moved around until her face was above your pussy and her pussy was in front of your face. "Please, let me know if I'm doing alright or if I should do something else," was the last thing she said before she lowered her head to your pussy and began licking. "Fuck." You didn't realise how wet you had become until now when the smallest of touch from her tongue had you moaning. "Baby, go slow, please." She whined back in response, only giving you kitten licks and holding back from devouring the sweet taste of pussy for the first time. You began kissing her inner thighs, making her twitch a bit from sensitivity. "Can I eat your pussy again or do you need some time?" Jihyo blushed. How can you say such words so neutrally? Mhm, she nodded and moaned against your pussy, which sent vibrations against your clit. You pushed her pussy closer to your face and began kissing it again. Jihyo whined against your pussy, she loved this feeling of a little "foreplay" on the pussy before licking it hard. She noted that she should start off slow next time she gives you head.

You noticed that although you pushed her pussy towards you, she still kept it in the air, not sitting on your face. "Baby, you can sit on you face," you encouraged her and gave a big kiss to her clit. She finally sat down on your face and you began licking between her lips deeper and quicker. She couldn't help but keep moaning against your pussy, and the vibrations felt so good, making you moan on her too. You began moving your hands on her thighs up to her ass, keeping them there and just grabbing the fatness. She was feeling a bit jealous because you could touch her all you wanted while she had to hold herself up on her arms which was getting harder and harder. She let go of your clit, sat up on your chest, "Babe, can I be on the bottom?" You smiled at her, "Of course, Baby." She just plopped down on the bed with a smile, comfortable now that she didn't need to use her arm muscles. "You're too cute." "Thank you, ____." You flipped around and moved your pussy to her face, her eyes lightening up. Before you even sat down she grabbed your hips and pushed you down, impatient and needy to have the experience of a woman sitting on her face. You were more experienced in this and laid down comfortably, spreading her legs to eat her out too. Your pussies were prepared and didn't need any of the gentle kissing or kitten licks anymore, you opting to lick fast and deep between her folds, and her licking fast but gently on your clit in a steady pace. To Jihyo's surprise, you began grinding on her face, making her proud she was taking you there. Moaning and shaking, it was getting hard to focus on pleasuring each other.

So, you sat up on the bed, beside Jihyo. She was breathing heavily, confused, whining, "Why?" You kissed her forehead, "Come lay with me on the pillows." She followed you to the big pillows, you laid on the right side and Jihyo on the left side of the bed, the natural way to lay down just like every time you had watched movies as friends. You started kissing her, hands roaming on her boobs, back, butt and back of her thighs, pulling her left thigh on top of your hip — this gave you more access to her pussy so you began to tease your fingertips on her lower lips. She whined. You pushed your right leg up so she also had access to your pussy, and in a second her hand was playing with your folds, starting off slowly before inserting her fingers in you. You kept making out, savouring each others red, swollen lips and tastes on your tongues. She slid a finger between your lips to get your wetness so she could finger your clit better (she remembered you prefer clit stimulation more than penetration), making you moan into her mouth. Damn, it was her first time but she was so good. Who would've known she was ambidextrous? (She's both left handed and right handed) You put a finger inside her and she gasped, making you smile in revenge, since it slipped in so easily from being so wet you fit in another finger, moving them in and out at a moderate speed, not wanting to make her cum yet. "I could do this forever, Baby." Your words hurt Jihyo because you both knew this couldn't last forever; you would leave the country soon — and she wishes this only determined her to make you cum from her fingers but she couldn't distract herself from the future heartbreak, tears filling her eyes that she blinks away before you can notice. She stops kissing you to look at you, she wants to say something but hesitates question just decides to make a hickey on your shoulder. You giggled, "You're out of this world, Baby." She felt tears build up again, you kept calling her Baby as if you've been girlfriends all along — as if you're girlfriends right now! What are you even? A couple? Friends with benefits? A summer fling? A future long distance relationship that will inevitably end with you two neglecting each other due to your conflicting schedules and different time zones? Fuck. She had sucked on your shoulder very harshly and bitten it too. It looked like a black bird tattoo. "I'm sorry, ____ Babe, you have a hickey now," she kissed it gently as too soothe the hot skin. "It's OK. I haven't had a hickey in a long time. Never on my shoulder," you giggled. Jihyo smiled, both happy and sad at the same time. "Can u make one on me too? In a hidden place?" She wants to remember this moment for the next few days every time she looks at herself in the mirror. Yet she blushes when u move ur head to make a hickey on her boob, opting for the curve under her nipple, sucking and biting. Simultaneously, your fingers were going deeper and faster until Jihyo starts whining and you decide to keep that tempo. She starts moving her fingers harder on your clit, with the same tempo as before, making you moan and bite down on her boob. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum," you said. She whined, "M-Me too." You began kissing again until both of your legs were shaking and you had to stop to breathe.

After a few minutes of just laying down and looking at each other, you decide to get up and run a bath before you two fall asleep in your cum and wetness stained sheets. "Wait for me, Baby. I'll just get the bath ready for us," you kissed her forehead. Jihyo smiled but it fell once she was left alone with her thoughts. Should she sleep in your bed or go home like she always did after hanging out at your place? If she sleeps in your bed it's almost as if going official, right? If she goes home like she always does then it means that this was just a one night stand or a fwb thing, right? Fuck. Why does everything have to be so complicated? Suddenly you were back in the room. "Come, Baby," you carried her to the bathroom and let her step into the bathtub on her own because you're not the hulk. You followed suit, laying behind her. The water was warm and relaxing, cleaning you off of your cum, sweat and tears. You hugged her waist, Jihyo's rested back on your shoulder and chest, you leaning your head on hers, kissing it a few times. But although the water was calming, both your brains were racing. What now? You had an incredible connection. You had so many beautiful memories together, including this one. You've laughed and cried so many times together, now also coming a few times together. How could you let go of this? How could you keep this going at a long distance? A tear fell down Jihyo's cheek. You kissed her tear away. "It's OK. It will all be fine." Tears were falling down your cheeks too.

✦ ੈ ✦ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✦‧₊˚＊* ੈ ✦ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✦‧₊˚＊* ✦ ੈ ✦

❝ How much sorrow can I take?

Blackbird on my shoulder

And what difference does it make

When this love is over?

Shall I sleep within your bed?

River of unhappiness

Hold your hands upon my head

'Til I breathe my last breath

Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me

The last time that you touched me

Oh, will wonders ever cease?

Blessed be the mystery of love ❞

—sufjan stevens; 2017

[chiriwritesstuff]

Meet Me at the Farmers Market - 5. Stay

A Farmers Market! Joel AU x Confident! Plus Sized! F! Reader

Series Masterlist

Series Summary: What does a Contractor do in his spare time? Sell his wood carvings at the Saturday Farmers Market, of course! A Grumpy x Sunshine Joel Miller series collective of one-shots.

Chapter Rating: E, MDNI (18+)

Word Count: 1.7 K

Warnings: Smut, all of the smut, and all of the bells and whistles that come with it, Joel is an eager lover, (not so) secret lovers, Sunflower is falling deep, mentions of body image issues, relationship anxiety

Summary: Remember when Sarah mentioned on Thanksgiving about that time she caught Joel sneaking someone into the house late at night? This story takes place before pt. 4.

A/N: Hey guys, this is somewhat of a more serious one this week, as it touches upon feelings of inadequacy and body image issues that Sunflower has. As exciting as secret relationships can be, it also can bring out the ugly side of ourselves, especially when the pressure of being and looking a certain way weighs heavily on someone. I know I’ve been there, many times.

I felt like I had to mention relationship anxiety as a necessary evil but fret not - I don’t intend this series to be angsty so let’s just get over this hurdle, and I promise more Miller family hijinks next week!

The digital clock on the dashboard blinks 11:03 pm, your van discreetly parked a couple of streets away from Joel's place. Letting out a sigh, you fish your phone from your purse, firing off a quick text to Joel that you've made it and will be there in a minute.

Okay, baby. Be careful, okay? he replies instantly.

It's cold in Austin this time of the year.

The stroll from your van to Joel's is quick. You wrap your arms around yourself, hurrying along, your heart pulsing with anticipation for the night ahead.

Joel's already waiting outside, his broad silhouette against the harsh glow of the streetlamp illuminating his presence onto the pavement of his driveway. You smile instinctively at the sight of him, a nervous energy coursing through your veins in excitement. It's been a few weeks, but it still feels so new, this thing that you have with him.  

You didn't imagine finding yourself in this situation, approaching your boyfriend's house and trying to stealthily navigate past his meddlesome daughter, fast asleep across the hall. It was Joel's suggestion, of course - I don't bring many women around, he mentioned one night during dinner, reaching for your hand across the table and planting the softest of kisses against your skin.  I don't know how she's gonna react, you know? With her old man dating, he adds.  

"... besides, I don't need her telling Tommy and he being a smug bastard about it."

You laugh to yourself at the ridiculousness of it, finding it so endearing that he worries about how his family would react to bringing another person into the fold, trying to navigate the dynamics of this new and exciting thing, so unexpected it must have come out of left field.   I just want to keep you for myself for now, ok? I'm not ready to share you just yet.  It emboldens you, somehow - thinking that Joel just wants you, and you alone - without the bells and whistles and the balant meddling. You try to push down the feelings of self-doubt that come with the territory of being someone's secret, the whole notion of it leaving you feeling a little dirty, your mind immediately going there, going to that place in the back of your mind where men break your heart because you're just too big, too much, all at once.

Joel's not like other men, though, you tell yourself.  He would never make you feel that way, not ever.

He smiles as you approach him, his feet padding over to you as he kisses you.  

"Hi, baby." 

He silently motions shh as he quietly opens his front door, grabbing your hand as he tiptoes against the wood floors, your feet matching his step by step as he makes his way up the stairs, stopping as he reaches the top, his head darting towards Sarah's bedroom door, your breath caught in your throat as you wait for the all-clear. He turns his head back slightly towards you, nodding silently as he rushes to the safety of his bedroom, pulling you excitedly through the threshold, and releasing your hand as he silently closes his door behind you.  

You're in his arms not a second later, his face illuminated by the moonlight streaming from his bedroom window. He tips his head, resting it against yours as he moves you, stepping side by side, a silent dance as he kisses you in the darkness of his room, his hands sliding up from your waist to your hips, traveling lower until he grasps the slope of your ass, his hands harshly squeezing as he silently groans into your mouth, the rumble of his chest so deep you feel it in your core, your underwear already soaked through.  

"I missed you, baby. I missed this," he says, squeezing your ass once more.  

"Bed, Joel," you reply, walking backward until your thighs hit the edge of the mattress, setting yourself down as Joel stands before you. You slowly unbutton the front of your dress, sliding the material off of your shoulders, your chest bare as you forgone a bra, knowing Joel doesn’t care for them, enjoying the weight of your heavy breasts resting on your chest. You’re left only in your lace thong, Joel licking his lips and smiling in satisfaction.

You know what to do, baby, he smiles as he peers down at you, his eyes traveling down the slope of your throat to the tops of your breasts, making his way down to the v between your thighs. "Lay back and spread those legs for me," he says, his eyes darkening. You silently nod in response, your teeth grazing your bottom lip as he looks on, his hand grabbing his length through the fabric of his pajama bottoms.  

You rest your hands behind you on the bed, slowly sliding yourself back onto his sheets, your eyes locked on his as you shimmy your ass, slowly spreading your legs apart as Joel drops to his knees, his hooded eyes lowering as you present yourself to him. "Fuck, baby, you're soaked," he says in awe, glancing at you as he slowly pushes your panties aside, his fingers delicately stroking your slit. You can't help the satisfied moan that escapes your lips.  

"You need to be quiet for me, ok?"  He whispers against your core. 

He makes quick work of removing your thong, tossing it from behind as you silently giggle, arching your back as the flat of his tongue reaches your folds. You gasp, your fingers threading through his hair, pulling it as he sucks on your clit. “Right THERE, Joel, FUCK.” You whisper - you swear you feel his smug smile on your pussy, devouring you once more as he slides in a finger, your pussy clenching it immediately as he fucks you, adding another as he increases the pace. 

"Come for me, Sunflower. Come for me before I give you my cock. "

“Oh-“ you gasp, your body trembling as you begin to flutter on his fingers, Joel keeping a steady pace as he licks and sucks on your clit and your folds. You're so gone for this man it's insane - it's how he's able to make you feel things you never thought you possibly could, how easy it was to lose yourself in a man who worships you completely, regarding you like a piece of fine art in a museum. No man has ever wanted you like Joel does - unconditionally, just as you are - stretch marks and cellulite and your soft tummy be dammed. "Don't you dare change a thing, baby", he warns you. Not a damn thing.  

He hooks his fingers inside of you, your mouth open as you silently scream in pleasure, your body burning and lit like a furnace, static coursing through your veins as you ride out your high against his fingers. He pulls his fingers out slowly, your slick glistening in the darkness of his room, against the moonlight that’s shining in. “Fuck baby, that was so good,” you breathe, smiling at no one as your move your body against the cold of his sheets. 

Joel stands, pushing your body upwards on the bed as he settles in between your thighs, your legs spreading wider as you accommodate him. He lowers himself as he hungrily bites on a nipple, his tongue licking it to soothe the pain, his lips traveling up your chest to the length of your neck, placing wet kisses along the way. 

He hurriedly pulls down his pajama bottoms, freeing his aching cock, flushed red and thick, sliding it against the wet of your slit. “You ready, baby?”

You nod as he slides himself to the hilt, gasping into his mouth as he waits for your pussy to adjust to his thickness. "Fuck, baby, how is it always this good?" He mumbles to himself as he slowly starts to move, sliding out to the tip, then sliding back in, to the base, the heaviness of his balls slapping against your ass. “You’re so deep, Joel,” grasping his arms as he fucks you, burying his face into your neck as he groans into your ear. 

“Fuck, keep going, I’m going to-“

"Come with me, baby, I’m so close…"

He lifts your hips as he fucks you into the mattress, the subtle shift hitting you deep, so deep that you swear you feel it against your womb. "Fuck, Sunflower, I can’t get enough, I can’t believe you let me fuck you like this, you’re my secret… fuck, if they only knew-"

“I love being your secret, baby. I love being only yours, Joel.” 

"Oh FUCK-" he whispers harshly, grasping your ass, his fingers bruising your skin as he empties himself as he comes with you, his cum hot as it fills you, your pussy choking his dick, milking him dry as he collapses on you, his breath heavy as he kisses your sternum.  

You lie there with him on top of you, the heaviness of his body against yours soothing you as you both come down from your highs. You wrap your arms and legs tightly around him, trying to soak as much of him as you possibly can, the thought of having to sneak out so soon suddenly makes you feel empty - you try to ignore the sadness slowly creeping up in your mind. You don't want to leave, not yet, and it sends you into a panic, your breathing becoming erratic.

"Stay with me," Joel says suddenly, his voice cutting through your internal dialogue, looking at you endearingly as he rests his forehead against yours, a hopeful look on his face.

“What about-“

"Shh." He kisses you gently, deeply- smiling as he presses small kisses at the corners of your mouth. "I don't care if she catches us, this is my house, I can do whatever I-"

"What about you not wanting anyone to find out about us?" you tease, trailing the ridge of his nose with your fingers. "... what are we, Joel? Is this just a casual thing, or..." you try to hide the anxiety in your tone, not wanting to out yourself, not wanting to seem so desperate for his affection. 

"... nothing about this is casual, Sunflower, not for me."

"Oh?" you reply, trying to hide your satisfied smile, burying your face in his chest.

"You know how crazy I am for you."

“You sure? What if I don’t wake up in time-“

"Who said anything about sleeping, baby? I intend on keeping you up all night long."

“Okay.”

“Okay?” He arches his eyebrow in question.

“Yes, Joel,” you smile as you take his face in his hands.

“I’ll stay.”

[bloodibambiidoll]

The Pull: Steddie x Succubus reader part 3

Summary: You move to Hawkins after spending the last decade in New York City hoping to have a peaceful and quiet next few years flying under the radar only feeding when necessary and making everyone you spend a night with forget you. But when you arrive, you feel a pull from two men like you’ve never felt before. As soon as you feel it you know flying under the radar here wasn’t going to cut it, you had to find them. Masterlist

Warnings: This chapter contains SMUT. Rough sex, demon/human sex, dom/sub dynamics, spit kink, face fucking, choking, hair pulling, M/M/F threesome. If I missed any please lmk!

A/N: this chapter is much longer than the first two, and it gets a bit angsty at the end but I promise all will be well in part 4, which will be the final part! Also I’m totally creating my own succubus lore as I go, I hope no one minds that she’s not exactly lore accurate!

‼️THIS STORY AND MY PAGE ARE 18+ MINORS AND BLANK/AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED IMMEDIATELY‼️

The minute his mouth was on yours you shoved your fingers into his mane of hair and kissed him back with fever. “Holy shit. You taste so fucking good, how do you literally taste like fruity pebbles?” He said as his mouth made its way from your lips down your neck.

You chuckled “is that what I taste like to you? That’s so cute. Remember what I said about my pheromones? More or less it’s the base of my powers, depending on how yours mix with mine it can change things about me. For instance, how I taste to you.” he paused his assault on your neck to give you a curious look “when you say ‘things’ what exactly do you mean by that?”

“Well-“ you were cut off by Steve suddenly turning you to face him “dude what the? Why did you do that!?” Steve didn’t answer, he just grabbed your hand and yanked you in towards him until you were flush against his chest before he kissed you so hard it made your head spin “you were being greedy” he said looking over your shoulder at Eddie who was still standing behind you both. “Also that pheromone thing is freaky because you taste exactly like those cherries you get in Shirley Temples to me. And you smell just as good” you felt Eddie come up behind you and shove his face into your neck “you do, you smell sooo sweet baby”

Baby? He’s calling you baby and they’re both touching you and kissing you and you feel like if they weren’t both holding onto you that you might faint. “Fuck-“ your voice almost sounded foreign to you when you spoke, never hearing yourself sound so submissive before “I need you I need you both, please fuck me” you saw Steve’s eyes roll in the back of his head and heard Eddie groan “oh my god, I can’t believe this is fucking real right now, we are gonna give you whatever you want sweets, don’t you worry”

Steve leaned down and grabbed you behind your knees before throwing you over his shoulder and walking towards what you assumed was their bedroom, Eddie shut the door behind him and Steve set you down gently on your feet in front of him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and looked up into his gorgeous honey eyes “mmm.. you guys smell good too you know? I could sense you the minute I stepped foot in this town and I could smell you from a mile away.. I feel dizzy standing this close to you” your eyes shifted to a bright red again and you felt your teeth sharpen, you couldn’t take it anymore you ripped your top over your head and started on the zipper of your skirt.

They both just stood there for a second taking in the fact that not only were you not wearing a bra but the underwear you were wearing were basically nothing “holy fuuuuckkkk” Eddie said as he ran his hands down his face “you are unfuckingreal holy shit” he walked over and grabbed both your tits in his large calloused hands, they felt so good against your soft skin you let out a breathy moan “I love that you guys are appreciating my beauty and all but I really need you to fuck me now, I haven’t fed since I got into town and I need it. Now.” It came out WAY whinier than you intended it to but it still got the point across because the next thing you knew you were being pushed down onto your back on the bed and your thong was being ripped from your body.

“Holy shit. You’re so fucking wet.” Eddie said before he paused “woah this tattoo is so sick!” He was looking down at your mark, a heart with bat wings “it’s my- you know what? I’ll tell you about it later just fucking TOUCH me already” that’s all it took before he licked a long stripe up your pussy to your clit where he began to suck “Oh my godddd- holy shit your mouth feels so good” you grabbed onto his hair and tugged a little, gauging his reaction, when he groaned you did it again, harder. “Stevvie, come here” you beckoned to the other boy who was standing on the side of the bed watching his boyfriend absolutely devour your cunt.

“Take your shirt off, I wanna see you” when he pulled his shirt over his head you felt yourself salivate, you had seen them both shirtless from afar but it had nothing on this. He came over and situated himself beside you, giving you another head spinning kiss before he trailed his mouth down your neck and to your tits where he took an already hardened nipple into his mouth, making you moan even louder.

You took one of your hands that was in Eddie’s hair to grab one of Steve’s hands, guiding it to your neck and leaving it there hoping he would take the hint. He immediately understood and wrapped his hand around your neck, adding just the right amount of pressure.

He looked up at you with a mischievous glint in his eye “oh? You like it rough? Is that what you’re telling me?”

You moaned “god yes, please, use me”

“You hear that Eds? She wants to be our little fuck doll” he moves his hand from your neck to your jaw squeezing your cheeks “open”

You stick out your tongue and he spits onto it, tapping your chin implying for you to close your mouth “swallow” you gulp before sticking you tongue out again, asking for more “please? you taste so good”

“I’ll give you something better to taste” he stands up and starts unbuckling his belt. Meanwhile Eddie paused his movements between your thighs to watch this interaction in awe for a moment before he moved into action “turn around, get on your hands and knees. Now.” You are barely sat all the way up before he’s moving you himself twisting you on your stomach and hiking your ass in the air by your hips “fuuuckk I’m going to fucking destroy this slutty little pussy” you whimpered at his words, your pussy clinching around nothing when you heard his belt buckle coming undone too.

You push yourself up on your hands to look and Steve and god does he look fucking delectable, he’s pulling his boxers down his toned thighs and when his cock springs free you actually fucking moan out loud because holy SHIT, he’s long and thick and so fucking hard. “God Steve, I need you in my mouth, I need you to cum down my throat.” You didn’t have to ask him twice, at this point he was so worked up he felt like he was going to bust the minute your tongue touched him.

Eddie got behind you in his knees, completely naked now and you felt a big ringed hand come down on your ass causing you to cry out “oh you like that baby?” He spanks you again, harder this time “are you a little pain slut? You wanna be smacked around?”

“God yes, please” you wiggled your ass against him, feeling his cock brush against your slick slit. He grabbed it in his hand and tapped it against your clit a few times. You couldn’t see it, but you could feel that he was big too. After a few more taps on your clit you felt the head of his cock against your tight hole. He pushed in a few inches before pulling out again.

You couldn’t take it, unexpectedly you slammed your hips all the way down against his, bottoming him out inside you.

“Fuuuuck oh my god you are so fucking tight holy shit” he started fucking into you hard and deep. Steve grabbed your jaw, tilting your head up to look at him. His cock was so close to your mouth, so hard, begging for attention without missing a beat you wrapped your hand around the base and shoved his cock all the way down your throat in one motion.

“Holyfuckingshit- oh my god” he was taken back for a moment, no one, not even Eddie had sucked his cock how you’re sucking it right now. You really are some kind of otherworldly sex being because your mouth is insane. Eddie is having similar thoughts about your pussy, it’s feels so fucking good it’s like he’s dreaming.

You moaned around Steve’s cock the vibrations causing him to lurch forward shoving his cock deeper down your throat. He pulled back for a moment half expecting you to gag, you looked up at him a string of spit still attached to his cock from your mouth “I want you to fuck my face Steve”

He growled at that, grabbing two fistfuls of your hair and shoving his cock all the way down your throat before he started fucking your face at a brutal pace “Good fucking girl letting me use that slutty little throat like this”

Eddie moved one of his hands from your hip to rub your clit and you felt yourself getting close to cumming. Steve saw your eyes roll back in your head and felt your moan vibrate around his cock “I think she’s gonna cum soon”

“Yeah I can feel her fucking squeezing my cock. You gonna cum for us baby? Cum all over my big cock? Do it.” That was all it took for your orgasm to come crashing down on you, Steve pulled you off his cock by your hair, grabbing your neck with his other hand “you look so fucking good when you cum holy shit. I was about to cum just looking at you and I really want to get a turn railing the shit out of that little pussy before I do.”

You could feel Eddie’s thrusts getting more erratic behind you “God Eddie please fill my pussy with your cum, I need it so so bad” he thrust hard and deep into you three more times before he was pushing his hips flush against yours and coming with a moan that sounded like the best song you’ve ever heard, the minute you felt his cum inside you, you could feel some of your energy returning. It wasn’t at the point where it was making you sick yet but you were cutting it close.

Eddie pulled out slowly and then sat back on his knees making a whistling noise “god damn baby, your pussy looks so good with my cum dripping out of it. Time to get you even more messy. On your back at the head of the bed, Steve, fuck her.” it wasn’t a question, it was an order. He sat down next to you at the head of the bed and pulled you into a rough kiss while you felt Steve situating himself between your legs, his cock in hand. He ran his cock through your slit that was slick with a mixture of yours and Eddie’s cum before slamming into you in one quick thrust.

He let out a stream of curses trying to regain his composure because you felt so good he really thought he was going to bust the minute he moved. “Steve, move, please, I need it” he pulled out slowly and then took a few slow thrusts in and out before he grabbed your thighs and pushed them towards your chest fucking into you hard and fast.

“Jesus Christ your pussy feels like fucking Heaven, I swear it’s like it was made for my cock” he grunted.

You laughed a bit at that in between moans “that’s because technically, it is. That’s one of the other things that my body changes-fuck” he started rubbing your clit in quick motions pushing you closer to the edge.

“You’re gonna cum aren’t you? You’re such a good girl with your little magic pussy squeezing my cock just right” the next few thrusts hit you right in your g-spot and sent you over the edge, you came so hard you felt like your soul left your body for a second. Steve wasn’t far behind you, cuming inside you deep before collapsing on top of you.

“Holy. Fuck. That was- wow” he chuckled and rolled off you to lay on the side opposite of Eddie.

“Yeah.. it really was. I feel so much better now, thank you guys” your smile was shaky and your eyes looked hazy when you looked over at both of them.

“Were you in pain before? Also did I hear you say your fucking pussy CHANGES SIZE?” Eddie said as he looked over at you, wrapping an arm around your waist. You chuckled “I wasn’t in pain yet, but I did feel pretty weak.. and yeah, it’s one of my powers it changes to perfectly fit the cock inside me. Cool right?”

“COOL!? More like.. hottest. Thing. EVER.” He kissed your cheek. “Little infernal princess” that made you blush, HARD. No one has ever called you a cute nickname before.

“That really was amazing but I am so tired I need a nap like yesterday” you looked over at Steve who was laying on his back with his arm over his eyes, you rolled towards him resting your head on his shoulder “yeah, when I gain energy I take a bit of yours.. sorry about that. You guys should rest, I’m going to use your shower if that’s okay?” You stood up and looked down at them “you guys are fucking beautiful”

Steve yawned and Eddie rolled over and laid his head on his shoulder where yours was a moment ago “the towels are in the cabinet under the sink sweetheart, wake us after, we can all go get some lunch or something” you caressed Steve’s hair and kissed Eddie’s temple before grabbing your clothes off the ground and heading to the bathroom.

Now that the hunger for them isn’t as strong reality came crashing down on you as you washed your body in the shower. You were feeling so many mixed emotions. Satisfied definitely being one of the main ones but anxiety being a close second. You’ve never felt this way, you’ve never clicked this way with anyone ever. Never felt vulnerable enough to submit in any way, never wanted to go back for more. Never before have your physical features stayed the way you were born when you were with someone. They wanted YOU, not the ideal fantasy of what a woman should be. They saw you and they liked what they saw.. You wanted to get out of this shower and go lay in between them and feel their body heat until they woke up and have them take you all over again. That was fucking terrifying to you, how would it ever work? They already belonged to each other. You would stay the same as they grew old.. the thought of loving them just to lose them sounded awful.

So you made a decision, the decision you would make with any other conquest. You put on your clothes and shoes, and quietly walked out of the door. You did award yourself a last peak at them before, cuddled together sleeping peacefully. They were so beautiful you felt your heart crack a little as you walked toward your car. You had to get out of Hawkins, you couldn’t stay here and stay away from them. You drove toward your home, where you would pack up everything and go somewhere else to start over, under the radar like you planned. You couldn’t let anything like this happen again.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

[aceofspades-sml]

Jomike rant because I can

Also because @gayspaceagebachelor I promised you my thoughts on this a while ago so here you go

Tw mention of religious trauma and maybe internalized homophobia (my Jojo is angsty what did you expect)

I put it under the cut cause boy I wrote way more than I was supposed to

They are definitely the cute/soft boy ship

Like you want happy and heartwarming vibes ? You go for them

Of course they have their hard times but to me they are the easiest ship to write pure fluff for

Bc in my opinion both of them are the absolute sweetest. Jojo is always pretty cheerful and optimistic while Mike is the kind of person who always has a smile on. Also both of their smiles are contagious so that's why

Also remember when I said they were both gay disasters but with an opposite energy let me elaborate

We all know that Jojo has been raised by nuns, right ? So I know it's like almost canon at this point but I'll say it again, he is really not comfortable with being gay

As in he was taught that it's bad, even though all his friend tell him it's not. He is fine with his friend being queer, but when it comes to himself and romance he loses all his self-confidence

So most of the time he is like so happy and cheerful because he doesn't think about it and when he actually starts thinking about it he'll most likely panic because he was taught loving guys is bad and he'll think he doesn't deserve people to love him

Okay I went a little far from the heartwarming stuff I talked about but I needed to establish that

So anyway my point was, Jojo being jojo will be pretty oblivious when it comes to love and yeah sometimes it's cute but sometimes it can get angsty

ANYWAY

Now onto Mike, I like picturing him as the guy who acts cool and flirty all the time. As in he'll always be joking/messing around and pretending to flirt with everyone, friends and strangers

Sells a lot of papes that way

"So hotshot anyone ever told you you have really pretty eyes"

"You better run."

Except our boy is actually an hopeless romantic inside so the second someone he likes flirts back he becomes completely useless. He will blush a lot, probably stutter and most likely say something stupid that he will overthink after

So um yeah they are chaotic disasters

Anyway now that's established let's get into their actual dynamic

Remember when I said one of my favorite tropes for them was mutual pinning ? I just think this one as a lot of potential because they are both pretty dumb and oblivious

Y'know the "A fell first and B fell harder trope ?" Yeah you can forget it Mike fell first and hard

One day he just looks at his best friend and realizes he is in love with him

Then he starts pinning like an absolute dumbass, at times he'll just stare into Jojo's eyes and get all flustered because he suddenly forgot how to speak

Don't wanna bring in the usual scene with one guy burrying his face in a pillow because how can I be so fucking dumb while another guy is just dying of laughter next to him but this happened at least once with Ike

Except Jojo doesn't even think much about it he'll just brush it off like it's normal

Takes a lot of time for them to stop being idiots

At first Jojo is super scared about dating so there is a lot of angst in the beginning

Meanwhile Mike will try his hardest to make Jojo understand he is loved and has the right to be happy

When Jojo starts getting more confident about it he goes back to his cheerful self. I think he would totally be the type of guy who makes flirty comments at his boyfriend all the time to mess with him

Actually it's more like Mike says something flirty to tease him -> Jojo answers something flirty because he knows exactly what he is doing -> at that point you have lost Mike he became a blushing mess

So sometimes he'll say something really cute in Spanish and Mike has no idea what it is but he understands the way Jojo said it so he gets all flustered

Jojo actually loves making Mike blush by saying he really likes him or stuff like that except at that point he is still scared of expressing his feelings out loud

Jojo is the shy/scared one so at first he is scared to hold hands in public or show any PDA in front of their friends

Also their first kiss omg-

Actually one day Mike just leaned in impulsively and brushed his lips past Jojo's but pulled away almost immediately because he got scared of how the other boy would react and he was pretty sure he had done smth stupid

They both stared at each other wide-eyed for a solid minute before actually leaning in again

Anyway it was really sweet and innocent because Mike could feel Jojo was kinda scared and inexperienced so he was very gentle

Ahem anyway-

But once again when he gains confidence he'll often try to be as close to Mike as he can

I picture them as really touchy bfs they would always be holding hands, brushing against each other's shoulder or cuddling

And when they are holding hands guess who starts blushing yeah it's Mike

He is really happy about it though because he gets to see his boyfriend happy and be the one who made him that happy

They are 100% the kind of couple who would always do romantic stuff like cute dates, looking at the stars or dancing together

Anyway think about them just grinning stupidly when they're around each other and ahjfhakjfhj

Ok I need to go but I might add to this post later with specific modern Era headcanons

[sentanixiv]

AO3 & Fic Questionnaire

Tagged by @emmithar-blog

How many works do you have on AO3? There are 27 posted fics associated with me and two that were co-written with another fan that I've left in their credit/name. One remains in WIP status - Down On His Luck - because I'm still writing the draft. My rule (now) is that I don't start posting a fic until I've finished the draft and/or started typing it up, so the other "WIP" ones are unofficial. And numerous.

2. What is your AO3 wordcount? 576,399 words, of which 392,723 belong to a single work

3. What fandoms do you write for? Red Dead Redemption/Red Dead Redemption 2; I fixate on specific fandoms, but have written for many others over the years.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? A Sinful Mercy - 832 Patient Obsession - 197 Endearments - 158 Beauty and the Beholder - 155 Treasures Unseen - 140

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! Eventually! When posting ASM, my rule was to catch up on comments prior to posting the next chapter. That rule sort of holds true to this date, but with regards to needing to clear out comments before posting a new fic. However, my job is mentally exhausting and I've fallen behind to the tune of 77 comments pending a response. Imma get there, I promise!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't really do angsty endings; as a Hurt/Comfort specialist, the comfort usually dominates the ending. However, being that it's an in-progress fic series, Cold Coffee & Empty Coffers counts for this one.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Presumption of Debt for shippy romantic endings; it's a very rough ending, but I wanted to outline a little bit of the good that came to the gents in it. Treasures Unseen for genfic (and the idea of Arthur sneaking two kittens into the gang).

8. Do you get hate on fics? No. I've been questioned on why I write certain themes, but no hate. Rumour is that I'm terrifying or have a terrifying reputation of punching people? C'mon, guys, it's been years since I last punched anyone's lights out.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind? Yeah. I'm one of them sex-positive asexuals and have my share of smut - though only a few have been posted. Vanilla ain't my thing; control, bondage themes, dom/sub undertones, and usually explicit. The Amoral Confessions stories rely more on vague references than explicit content.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written? Once upon a time, I crossed Weiß Kreuz with Yami no Matsuei? Generally don't do crossovers so much as AUs. I love AUs.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Uhhhhh, probably. I've had actual non-fandom writing stolen though and I went scorched earth on the perpetrator.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I'm amenable to it, but nothing since my current penname came into effect.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yeah! I find it fun to co-write because you get multiple perspectives and possible plotlines. When I wrote professionally, I worked with a co-author on 80%+ of my projects. They tended to provide foundations and world building, I found ways to carry the story forwards and add layers to the plot.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Morston. The aggressive dynamic of sass and badass is my weakness; the fact that there's no damsel in distress and a lot of emotionally stunted stupidity makes it... /chef's kiss

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? My professional novel manuscripts. I lost my interest, intent, and motivation to make it professionally after a series of, well. Unfortunate events rofl.

16. What are your writing strengths? Character voices and natures that carry through the narrative, sounding like they could've been drawn from canon. Being able to write a long, convoluted plotline without dropping threads. Having an endless fountain of ideas (I have TWO boxes of just ideas on index cards and they are both full).

17. What are your writing weaknesses? What in the hell is an outline and why would I ever do one. I trust my instincts to guide me through a story. Invariably, I will end up with a tangled deadend if I try to pre-plan too much of the story. When I just let my mind and words flow, everything sorts itself out.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic Flavourful bits work out, but I think it's too onerous for the writer and reader to have to translate everything being said. Nicknames, curses, and common phrases that the character themselves used in canon are what I turn to.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Sailormoon, circa 1997. No, none of that has survived.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? A Sinful Mercy; this was the first long-form writing I'd done after the clusterfuck that saw me retire my authorial career. After years of nothing, being able to write and post that really helped my confidence. It also reminded me that writing can and should be a joy. I'm never happier than when I'm writing.

In The Moment; the first chapter highlights a lot of tension and expectation. It was my "John's back with the gang after a year away" contribution and I will never not love the way I wrote him encountering Arthur and the lead-up to the near execution.

[ticklishtimothee]

what a roadtrip (kyle scheible x reader)

summary: the reader is going to see a concert out of town with some friends, kyle included, and gets stuck in the back seat with him on the drive.

a/n: an anon asked for some kyle angst-turned-fluff, and i’d already had an idea based on this post to write. not too angsty, but definitely an enemies-to-lovers type of dynamic. i hope you enjoy!!

words: 1,115

You and your friends were planning to go to a concert that weekend, much to your delight. What you weren’t looking forward to, however, was the drive there.

Not many concerts happened near you, and so the venue was about a two hour drive away, and that was just to get there. All together, it was four hours.

Four hours you’d have to spend in the car with Kyle fucking Scheible.

You weren’t sure why your friends still hung around Kyle. He was insufferable, a total douchebag who got off on treating girls like shit. It pissed you off to simply be in his presence, and he knew it too.

The feeling seemed to be mutual, as he never went out of his way to speak to you or even acknowledge your existence. Whatever. You liked it better that way.

Jenna was driving, and Ladybird had called shotgun.

Your other friends had called the middle two seats of Jenna’s mom’s minivan, and all that was left was the very back row, for you and Kyle.

“Jenna, can you please tell someone to switch with me?” you pleaded.

“C’mon, Y/N, it’s two hours. Just put your head against the window and take a nap or something,” she said. “He’s not that bad, I promise. Maybe on the way home I’ll convince Ladybird to let you sit up front.”

You huffed, but knew that arguing wouldn’t get you any further. So, you clambered into the back seat beside Kyle, crossing your arms over your chest.

He didn’t look at you when you got in, just kept his gaze out the window, even though the car hadn’t even begun moving.

“Okay, ground rules: Don’t get crumbs all in my mom’s car, she’ll kill me. Driver picks the music, so don’t complain. And if you have to pee, hold it until we get to the venue,” Jenna announced cheerily. “I’m not gonna risk being late for the sake of your bladders.”

You swore you heard Kyle scoff, and your gaze flickered to him.

He caught your eye and regarded you for just a moment, before turning to look out the window again.

God, you wanted to punch him so badly.

The drive went pretty smoothly. Jenna’s music taste was decent, and you caught yourself humming along to a few familiar tunes. If Kyle noticed, he didn’t say anything.

Traffic wasn’t bad, and Jenna’s insistence on getting an early start meant you arrived to the venue in under two hours, as well as early enough to the concert to comfortably use the bathroom, grab some sodas (or alcohol, depending on the place’s stance on carding), and find your seats.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Jenna asked you in the bathroom, nudging you playfully as she washed her hands.

“We just sat in silence,” you replied. “So yeah, it wasn’t bad.”

“Do you really hate him, or do you hate that he doesn’t reach out?”

You scowled. “What’s that supposed to mean? I’ve never liked him. I think he’s rude, and I’d prefer it if he didn’t talk to me at all.”

Jenna gave you a knowing smile that made you want to punch her, too. “If you say so.”

The bar was asking for ID, but thankfully, your friends had planned ahead and snuck some mini-bottles of liquor in their bags.

The concert was amazing. The whole group of you had an amazing time. At one point, you even caught Kyle grinning, strumming the song’s bassline in the air to himself.

It was clearly just the alcohol talking, but you almost found it cute.

“That was fucking incredible,” Ladybird said on the way out.

Your ears were ringing from the volume inside, and the adrenaline was still flowing. “I can’t believe they played that song!”

As you all piled back into Jenna’s car, you’d almost forgotten about the seating situation until that moment. Ladybird had already settled back into shotgun, and you didn’t want to make things awkward by asking her to switch now.

Whatever. You survived the way there, how bad could it be on the way back?

Soon, the post-concert drop began to settle in. Your head throbbed dully, and your feet were sore from dancing. Being tipsy suddenly felt more like being drunk, and being sleepy felt like being exhausted.

Your eyes were already half-shut, your face pressed against the cool glass of the window when you felt a nudge to your leg.

“Hm?”

“That can’t be comfortable. You can put your head on me, if you want.”

You did so, without questioning it.

In your drunken, tired state, you’d forgotten who you were sitting next to. It wasn’t until the car was pulled into Jenna’s driveway that you awoke and realized what had happened. You and Kyle had both passed out in the back of the car, your head on his chest, and his face pressed into your hair.

To top it all off, one of your friends had brought a disposable camera and taken a photo of the two of you, so there was permanent proof of your moment of weakness.

You were suddenly questioning why you were friends with any of these people.

The girls were all spending the night at Jenna’s, while Kyle and the guys were going home.

“Sorry I fell asleep on you,” you muttered to Kyle.

“It’s fine. I offered, don’t you remember?” he replied.

“Oh, I guess that part slipped my mind,” you said, gaze focused on the ground.

He took a step closer, and brought a hand to your chin, lifting your gaze to meet his. “I know we haven’t always gotten along. I’m just shit at making conversation. I don’t like getting to know new people, so when Jenna introduced you, I was skeptical. But now...I’d be willing to make an exception for you.”

You rolled your eyes. “What changed all of a sudden?”

“The way you were dancing tonight. And singing. You looked so free,” he said.

“I caught you playing air-guitar,” you whispered.

You swore you saw his cheeks flush. “Bass, actually.”

“Bass, whatever.”

“Come to my next show? We can go out to eat after, or something.”

Your heart fluttered. It wasn’t the alcohol, or the tiredness, or the excitement of the night anymore. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

“Cool. I’ll see you around, Y/N.”

“See you.”

Him and the guys went off, and before they were even out of sight, Jenna and Ladybird were on you like flies, asking you what he’d said.

You just grinned and told them it was nothing, much to their displeasure.

And although you hated to admit it, maybe Kyle wasn’t so bad after all.

[quirklessidiot]

title : cigarettes and parfaits [2] pairing : older!nanami kento x younger!reader [13 year age gap, ft toji fushiguro] Genre: romance, fluff, josei, mild angst, comedy, strangers to lovers au

Summary: you’re pretty sure you’d remember marrying a man 13 years older than you, right?

Warnings: alcohol, smoking, mild smut, y/n making stupid decisions, everyones a human-au so yeh non-canon stuff and everyone’s happy (periODT) Notes: tbh idk how marriage works in japan, all i know is that once you have both your signatures in the marriage registration certificate with one witness then you guys r married skdjssks anyways onto the story- also might i add this is happy story?? i promise yall, all youll see is cute stuff in this story bcos fuck angst (ok maybe lil angst since you know plot development) but i stand by that nanami kento deserves that trip to malaysia under the sun with his lover! before i forget to add, the age dynamics is that y/n is around 25 and nanami is 38. no power play and all that, just two healthy consenting adults! sorry for the early delete had some minor corrections :( 

Izakaya-informal japanese bar

Masterlist || taglist || [prev ; next]  [updates; every friday yay!]

*13 hours earlier; a night before at some random Izakaya in Tokyo*

You sat in front of your phone and three bottles of saki, despite your friends advising you countless of times to lay off drinking too much, all sense and warnings are thrown off the window tonight.

You’re clearly far from sobriety as you recall the video chat with your otosan not looking too good and bright, “Why don’t you move back home? It’s not like the teaching job at tokyo is all that great! You’re alone there and your obachan and I don’t like that a lot…” your father’s words haunt you again and again.

Just what was wrong with living alone? And excuse your otosan but you definitely had a very good job at Tokyo High (It was a prestigious academy that paid well, best job out there that you still didn’t know how you landed). You mumbled a few curses underneath your breath, Oh, how much you love that oaf of a father and worrywart of a grandmother but could they lay off the idea of settling down? You were a responsible and good child who never had stepped a toe out of line. Wasn’t that enough already? You immediately downed the drink and let the saki burn your throat down.

“Oh ho, slow down there.” You hear someone say, “You’re all alone and it seems like you have no one to help you back home.”

It seemed like the men on the opposite side of the bar had noticed you.

“I can take myself home, thank you very much.” You mumbled, loud enough for them to hear. Unlike older men who liked to prey on you for your innocent stature. The men who sat across you in the Izakaya didn’t really exude that sort of energy (what can you say, you had a knack of experiencing that, unfortunately).

“Are you sure? We can ask the owner to call a cab for you. She’s a woman and she’s a friend of ours.” the other one in robes pipes in, wait, was that a Buddhist monk?

“No, I’m good. It’s just…” You paused before letting out a long sigh, “A bad time so I need to stick around for a bit.”

The white-haired stranger tilts his head just a bit, “Seems like you and a friend of mine are both going through some rough patches.” he replied, pointing towards his blonde company who you didn’t notice until now.

You wordlessly shifted your gaze towards the office worker next to the Buddhist monk, you hadn’t noticed the blonde man until now. It seemed like he was going through a rough time too since the pair was loud and boisterous enough to conceal his silent presence.

You notice how out of place he looks with his crisp and clean suit, hard gaze, and silence. It made you wonder what sort of man hangs out with two contrasting personalities, “You’re wondering if he’s our friend or our boss, aren’t ya?” the white-haired man asks.

You immediately turn red in embarrassment, were you that easy to read? You try to stutter out an apology but the monk waves it off, “It’s alright, we get it all the time. Contrary to popular belief, Kento is two years younger than us and is our junior from high school.” He smiles.

“Ah,” you nodded mutely, “Sorry. It definitely wouldn’t make sense to see a boss and his subordinates at an Izakaya.”

“Oh, Kento-chan doesn’t usually go out drinking but he couldn’t resist. After all, he’s a father with two very emotional teenage boys.” The white-haired man teased in a sing-song voice. It seemed like the three were close, with the way they were carelessly lounging around the stoic and kind-of scary man.

“I’m starting to wonder if he gets that teasing attitude from you.” The blonde man, seemingly out of his trance, called out his friend. Contrasting to his aloof features, he didn’t mask the annoyance in his tone.

“Oh, uh, do you need help?” you quietly asked, tilting your head to the side in wonder. The blonde man’s head snapped to your direction and quirked a brow.

“And you are?” he seemed to be calculating and observing you from head to toe. It suddenly made you a bit self-conscious because this older gentleman had no business being this good looking and scary at the same time.

“Oh, I’m Y/N by the way. I’m actually a high school teacher.” You introduced yourself sheepishly, “I’m always surrounded by angsty teenagers.”

His gaze narrowed just a bit, it seemed like he’ll be giving you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was a bit desperate since he was getting advice from a drunk stranger in an Izakaya out of all places, “So what seems to be the problem, Ojisan?”

He’s still quite hesitant so it’s his white haired friend who speaks out for him, “You see, Kento-chan here just moved last week because of a promotion from Kyoto.” he grins, telling the story for his friend, “His kids aren’t very keen with the moving, well one of them is outright showing it and the other one is well keeping it in since he’s just the sweeter one.”

The white-haired stranger keeps babbling on about how his friend had regretted taking the work promotion because it feels like he shouldn’t have done that. You peerlessly observe the older man’s reaction while his friend talks about his problems to you. He remains stoic.

It didn’t look like it but it seemed like this man had such a soft spot for his kids.

How nice, his wife must be proud of him.

“... and before I forget to add, Kento-chan is very much single.”

You almost choke on your saliva, this friend of his sure knew how to run his mouth. It suddenly dawns upon you why this man had been very worried, he was a single parent who only wanted what was best for his boys but he didn’t even know how he should proceed now.

“Um, ojisan?” You quietly call out, “I think you’re doing great.”

Silence lingered in the air for a bit, you cringed at your rather awkward and forward approach, “Excuse me?” the older blonde man asked, clearly dismayed by your response.

“It’s just…” you ears turn red, not from the alcohol but from embarrassment, “You wouldn’t have moved in the first place if the pay wasn’t better than your old job, right? Plus you’re alone and raising two kids. It definitely isn’t easy to provide for everything alone but I can see that you did some careful reevaluation on the whole thing. Obviously you can’t avoid the fact that they feel bad but you can sit them down and talk to them about how the whole thing was beneficial not just for you but for them too.”

You spoke way too quickly that you wondered if the man could understand you.

The blonde man holds his breath for a moment, “I know…” he mumbles, “I just don’t really know how to talk to them.”

“Well, maybe you could take them out?” You advised, “Spend a whole day with them for a while and just move around with them. Help them get acquainted around their new school or something!”

You watch him silently look at his glass and think it over. Man, if this guy wasn’t older, your obaasan would outright agree and tell you to go out with him since she was never fond of how men weren’t as calm or laid back as he was.

“That sounds plausible. Thank you, Y/N-san.” his voice turned a bit softer and you feel your stomach turn just a little queasy by his tone. God, was the alcohol this bad?

“Well, would ya look at that.” the white-haired man grins, placing his drink up as if he was signaling everyone to cheers with him, “I told you drinking at an Izakaya would solve all your problems. For that, we should drink here again next week!”

The man glared at him yet again, “No. I should be heading home now. I can’t be anymore away from S-”

“Ah, ah. You promised that you’d stay until 2 am.” The white-haired man hushed, “Or I’ll be pestering you for a whole month.”

You could definitely tell that a vein popped on his forehead and his blood pressure was shooting up. Man, you were really starting to doubt that white-haired man was older than everyone in this room. He sure had the mental age of an elementary student.

“You also said I could leave after five drinks.”

“That’s only your second.”

“Satoru…” the Buddhist monk dangerously hovers over his white-haired friend. Wow, middle-age men sure were amusing, “You don’t even drink that well and he has to drive home…”

“Tit for tat, I’ll hire one of my personnel to drive you home after five drinks and I’ll leave you alone for a wee-”

“Please just leave me alone for my whole life.” the blonde man deadpanned.

Unlike you, he wasn't such a bad drinker. Four bottles for him and one more drink for you later, you're both kind of woozy and you had gotten on even friendlier terms with the three men who you now know as Geto-ojisan, Gojo-ojisan, and finally, Nanami-ojisan. Nanami was well into his late thirties while Geto and Gojo were in their forties.

If you were sober, you wouldn’t be making friends with older men. With stories of how easily young people are taken advantage of in the big city, you’d swerve away from them. Luckily, it seemed like they were a good trio and not once did they invite you to sit on their table so you had some good distance between you four and so far, they hadn’t tried anything funny or uncomfortable.

Geto is currently a lawyer, Gojo’s apparently some swanky businessman of god knows what        you heard jewelry or something      and Nanami was an accountant. A job that he described was ‘dead-end’ and ‘fucking boring’.

“...What happened to your wife, Nanami-ojisan?” you ask, the alcohol slowly shedding your shyness away.

“I told ya, Y/N-chan. He never was married. The way he got the kids was just complicated!” Gojo Satoru frowns, splaying his long limbs in the air, for a man so enthusiastic with drinking, he sure got drunk pretty quickly.

“Really? Didn’t you have a hard time? Wow…” you whistled, “I have such high…” you raised your hand as high as you could, “...respects for like, single parents!”

“See? See? But he can’t get a partner because of that Y/N-chan.” Gojo pouts, “...We’ve been setting him up on dates and such but he keeps bailing on them!”

“I have kids.” Nanami deadpans, narrowing his eyes.

“What my friends are trying to say, Kento has a number of opportunities to bring a partner into his life but he likes to use the boys and his work as an excuse.” Geto surmised, it seemed like the lawyer was also starting to feel the effects of the alcohol since he had become more talkative.

“He’s good-looking, right Y/N-chan? If he probably didn’t act like some fossil from the Triassic period, he wouldn’t have a problem sometimes about the boys having a mother figure!” Gojo rants, making Nanami flick his forehead.

“Idiot, must you tell this stranger all my problems?” Nanami harshly interjected.

“Well, you do know that to actually get a partner, you must get out there, right ojisan?” you try to calm him down, you didn’t want a bar fight to erupt.

“I know.” he rolls his eyes, “But the kids-”

“I know.” You try to smile, “You aren’t very interested in bringing just anyone in your life, right? The boys need a permanent figure and you think dating around is going to help.”

“Holy shit, Y/N-chan.” Gojo exclaims, “I thought you were a teacher? How come you know all this shit?”

“It’s basic, Gojo-san.” you smile, ready to take another swig of your saki, “You should take into consideration that Nanami-san isn’t just anyone who’d settle for less. He needs stability since he’s technically a parent.”

“That makes you a perfect pair, don’t you think?” Geto nonchalantly replies, “I mean, you need a stable man in your life who has all of it figured out and wouldn’t hold you back at all while Kento here needs a person who could not only be a good parent but also be as understanding.”

“That’s…” you chuckle, he technically was right, “That’s definitely odd how all our problems will be solved if we both just went out together.”

“... looks young enough to be my child.” Nanami rejoined, “why would Y/N-san like-”

“I mean, you’re good looking.” you shrug, rather shamelessly, “I wouldn’t mind going out with you. Heck, I wouldn’t mind if I married you.”

Gojo spits out the saki he was drinking all over the table and that makes you cringe in disgust, “As long as he doesn’t get invited to the wedding. I’d marry you. If you’d like we could even get married right here, right now.” you proudly proclaim.

The blonde man is thrown off by your statement yet he’s too drunk to even sip in the seriousness of your words, “Well as much as I agree on not inviting Gojo to my wedding, I don’t know-” he tries to explain.

“You know what, isn’t Geto-san a lawyer? He could have it notarized and all that right now then we could get married. I’ll be a great mom and help you out then you could help me get my family off my back. You scratch my back, I scratch yours!”

Geto is definitely in shock, how odd was it that he even had a marriage registration certificate in his briefcase back in the car too?

You both could just sign it and Satoru could sign it as your witness and he could have it officially notarized since he had his seal back there too.

Solved.

“So, Nanami-san, what do you say? Wanna marry me?”

Oh god, were you shameless.

Who in the right mind would marry a stranger, one who was thirteen years older and a father?

One thing was for sure, your friends were right. You definitely needed to stay away from alcohol.

taglist [if crossed out, i can’t tag u ; - ;]

; @coldbookworm  ; @frankenstein852  ;  @neavil  ; @shephard17895  @kristineyoshaii ; @airybnb ; @okachansenpai ; @amortentiaxo ; @rinvtaro ; @franko-pop ; @kozutenshi ; @kaldoesthings ; @moonlitdabi ; @chococroissant​ ; @bleepop​ ; ​

@Kurok1717 ;  @hcn421 ;  @shinhiromi ;  @airybnb ; @katshuya  ; ​

[icequeenbae]

Desert Flower (m) Ch. 3 | BBH

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader x Baëkhyun

Characters: EXO and X-EXO (not all of them mentioned)

EXO vs X-EXO dynamics, complicated relationships, angsty, action, smut (as usual)

Warnings: sorta mingling with your ex’s ‘evil twin’, mentions of blood/ violence (nothing too graphic… I suppose), Y/N gets teary a lot(?), explicit content, rough sex, unprotected sex

Word Count: ~13.5k (full), ~4.5k (Chapter 3)

Summary: Baekhyun, your beloved boyfriend of three years, suddenly breaks up with you and disappears from the city in an attempt to protect you. But leaving you alone and clueless means trouble will surely find you. For it is easy to spot a flower in the desert.

Masterlist   >> One >> Two (m) >> Three (m) >> Four (fin)

Author’s Note: Heyy! How’re you guys doing so far?^^ Sooo, this chapter is the longest of all since the story begins to unfold here! The next one is the finale already, and it’s going to be pretty epic, dare I say;) Let me know what kind of plot twists you’re anticipating! 💥

Tags: @blahblahblah-boo @baeklightsx @wooya1224 @baekklove​

Chapter 3. The little birdie told me

For an entire week after you first had sex, you’d stayed away. You felt guilty and foolish for letting that happen. Was he a rebound? Was it even acceptable that you did it with your ex-boyfriend’s twin? Could you live with yourself, knowing what he tasted like, or how his voice became gruff as he really got into it? And, worst of all, you wanted to experience that again. You were virtually ashamed to recall the night you’d spent with him, his roughness that left bruises (not entirely unpleasant), his bossiness that made you come out of your own shell to take what you wanted, what you needed, from him. Thinking back to the way you slammed yourself onto his thighs, or how he then folded you in half and made you come, or the name-calling… It was unbearable because despite believing that you’d made a shameless mistake, you wanted to make it all over again. You wanted to feel his prickly touch on your skin, and his prurient eyes not missing a single curve of your body. You wanted to be pushed by him, and you couldn’t understand the nature of any of those desires. Was it because you’d developed feelings for him? Or because he offered you such a pleasant way of self-destruction?

In his hands, you fell apart and reassembled. Not entirely the same, but then how could you be? The person who broke you had left for good, taking pieces of your puzzle with him. It seemed like a better option than to stay depressed and waiting to be fixed, ending up never achieving completeness.

Baëkhyun wasn’t a perfect fit for you, nor was he someone to heal your pain with the tenderness of his own heart. But only with him, you felt these strong emotions again. Only with him your heart was not aching but fluttering again, excited by the dangerous smirk he was wearing, and the predatory eyes that promised to devour you in the most delectable ways possible.

You stayed away, contemplating your decision and the rationale for it. The questions in your head seemed never-ending. Were you subconsciously trying to get back at Baekhyun? Were you replacing him? Or maybe you were just this quick in finding someone else to hand your still-broken heart over to? Baëkhyun did not seem like the guy who’d want it. He was kind of a bad guy, if you could even be the judge of that. Yet he had never actually hurt you, and he did not like to see you upset, even when it was over someone else.

Or because it was over someone else.

And although you didn’t consider him to be boyfriend material, you decided to give it a try. Not at all expecting it to be a relationship – you weren’t ready for a new one anyway. Still, you wanted to continue this unusual arrangement. Or so you’d been telling yourself when you texted him to come over after a week of radio silence.

As easy as it was for you to grow attached to him as your strange relationship quickly progressed, it should have been a warning sign. Baëkhyun kept asking you about the boys, the time you spent with Baekhyun at their base, and the stuff they’d told you about. And it wasn’t like you just spilled all the secrets – he usually asked about completely random stuff that seemed quite harmless to reveal.

But he was also a strategist. And you had no idea how powerful his mind was.

***

You laid your head on Baëkhyun’s chest, still hot and sweaty after the hours spent roughing up the bed. He stayed with you this time, arm wrapped around your waist intimately.

‘I didn’t expect you to be a natural,’ he hummed out of nowhere.

‘Hm?’ You turned slightly in his hold.

‘You’re getting pretty good at going after what you want. Will suit you well, being a little bad, birdie.’

‘Birdie?’ He met your curious eyes and chuckled, pressing you closer into his side.

‘Ain’t it accurate? You’re like a baby bird that I’m teaching how to fly.’ He stared for a moment. ‘You shouldn’t be down because of anyone anymore. I’d take personal offense if you are,’ he accentuated.

The uninvited warmth seeped into you, and you nuzzled his neck in a fit of affection.

‘Maybe you have to teach me more,’ you teased. ‘Scratch that. Teach me more.’

‘Now you’re just greedy,’ he sneered. ‘But I don’t mind.’

He allowed you to place a few kisses onto the side of his neck, before catching your hand, tracing his V-line down.

‘As much as I enjoy wrecking you, I don’t think you can take any more today.’

‘Aw, worried about me?’ You mocked, biting onto his collarbone playfully.

He squeezed your ass cheek in response.

‘Don’t test me. If you like a little more pain, it can be arranged. But not like this. It’s not what you truly want.’

‘How do you know that it’s not,’ you whined, as he patted your ass.

‘I know you, birdie. And I have a feeling that you’ve learned more about yourself in the last month than in the years prior. Care to give me some credit?’ His icy blue eyes gleamed in the dim lighting.

‘I really wanna blow you right now,’ you deadpanned. Baëkhyun was so, so alluring with that sexy hoarse laugh of his.

‘Wake me up with it tomorrow. If you want it that much.’

But the morning of slow lustful awakening didn’t come – instead, you awoke in an empty bed, alone. Brushing your teeth and washing up quickly, you headed to the kitchen to find your lover... And froze on the spot as soon as you caught bits of the hushed conversation.

‘I’m aware it’s been weeks but building trust takes time, you know? She’s already told me so much-’ Baëkhyun stopped mid-sentence, supposedly interrupted, and sighed. ‘Don’t. I’ll bring her in myself. Yes, I got it, Suhø. I’ll drag her in if I have to.’

You felt anxiety rise at his words, cold sweat breaking. Was he- talking about you? Or was he ‘building trust’ with some other girl? No, that was bound to be you. And who was he conversing with?

Everything was unclear, but your intuition had you tiptoeing back and walking from the bathroom to the kitchen a little louder this time. He finished his call as soon as you entered the kitchen.

‘Hey,’ he beamed at you as if the previous conversation did not take place.

‘Morning,’ you forced a little smile. ‘Were you talking to someone?’

‘Just now? Yeah,’ you feigned curiosity and wrapped your arms around his waist to avoid raising suspicion with your weird behavior or the slight nervous tremor in your hands. ‘Actually, I wanted to take you out today. You can meet some of my friends.’

‘Today?’ He nodded and you blinked, trying to come up with an excuse and fast. ‘Where?’

‘You’ll see. It’s not exactly in the city, so don’t dress all fancy,’ his hand settled on the small of your back.

It was clear now that earlier he had been talking to someone about bringing you in. And having your trust, which, obviously, was his goal from the very beginning. You realized that you needed to slip out carefully.

‘Um, about that… My friend from uni just called. She woke me up, actually. Asked to meet up today, and I already said yes, so…’ You trailed off.

‘Can’t you reschedule? We really should go tonight, while everyone’s in the neighborhood.’

‘Oh,’ you chewed on your lip. ‘She’s going through a rough time, so I have to meet her today. Sorry,’ you added, acting guilty.

He frowned, deep in thought.

‘Can we go after?’ He suggested. ‘I can pick you up in the evening.’

Biting your tongue, you weighed your options carefully. You did not want to alert him as to your attempt to shake him off your tail.

‘Yeah. Sure,’ you forced a smile on your face. ‘I’ll text you when I head back home for a change of clothes, and then we can go.’

‘Perfect,’ he smiled again, before pecking your lips. ‘I’ll head out for a few hours then,’ you nodded, walking him to the door.

Before Baëkhyun opened it, he turned around, catching you by surprise, and kissed you properly. The way he rarely kissed you outside your sex marathons. Deeply, full of… some kind of emotion? You couldn’t really grasp it, but your mind blanked out for a few seconds and you responded. Whimpering into his demanding mouth as his arms hugged you tightly to his body, you felt so tiny and defenseless, almost needy for his protection. But that was a deceiving sentiment.

‘Stay safe, little birdie,’ he whispered into your lips. ‘I’ll be waiting for your message. Don’t make me wait too long.’

‘Okay,’ you promised, and he finally walked out.

Closing the door, you let out a shaky sigh.

You were fucked.

At first, you almost had a panic attack, breath growing shallow and erratic. Having no idea what to do or how to get yourself out of this, you grabbed your phone and dialed the only number you could think of in this situation.

‘Please, Baekhyun,’ you whispered. ‘I’m so scared-’

But he was unavailable again.

Almost sobbing at the automatic answer, you dropped the phone and looked around. There was no one to help you, so you had to save yourself now. Wiping the tears, you grabbed your backpack and started shoving the most important items in it. Your documents, phone, wallet. A change of clothes. A pepper spray you found on your roommate’s shelf, which, you supposed, would be useless against someone like Baëkhyun. But did you have any other option? You had no powers and you would definitely not stand a chance against him in combat. Baekhyun used to train you a little, but you couldn’t even touch him in sparring unless he let you.

It was apparent that your only option was to run. So you did.

You jumped into the first cab you could get and asked the driver to head to the railway station. Making a mistake of not looking at him, you got onto your phone to try and figure out where to go from there. You didn’t notice that the car wasn’t even going in the right direction – not until it was taking a sharp turn right, off the main road, and onto the vacant plot of land, shielded from the road by a line of trees.

‘Excuse me, where are we going?’ You asked, looking around in confusion, finally paying attention.

‘I think we should take the quicker means of transportation, don’t you, Y/N?’ You saw a pair of oddly colored eyes in the mirror, and then the driver turned to face you.

‘J- Jongin?’ You gasped. ‘What’s wrong with your-’

‘It’s Kāi, darling,’ he chuckled, reaching for your arm.

Operating on instinct, you dodged his hand and attempted to open the door. It was locked.

‘Tsk. I thought we’d do it the nice way. Hyung asked me, after all,’ he tutted. ‘But I don’t think you’re willing to work with me here,’ he gritted that last part, suddenly pouncing at you through the space between the driver’s and passenger’s seats.

You screamed and struggled, and then…

It was a blur.

Like movie scenes, your surroundings were changing around you rapidly, too fast for you to catch anything. It may have lasted a split second, but made you so dizzy that you shut your eyes to battle it. When you finally opened them again, your vision was still foggy – the entire surroundings spinning. Kāi let go of your arm, allowing you to stumble forward and barely get a hold of a vertical surface before releasing the contents of your stomach onto the ground.

‘I told you to be gentle with her. She’s not used to teleporting.’ Unmistakably, it was Baëkhyun’s voice.

‘I brought her here in one piece. See arms or legs missing? No? That’s about as gentle as I get.’ The taller one rolled his eyes.

Baëkhyun approached you, a frown on his face, and helped get your hair out of your face despite your weak protests.

‘Let’s get you inside,’ he said, holding you up by the shoulders when your insides were finally done doing flips.

‘Don’t touch me,’ you coughed, pressing your side into the wall to get away from the physical contact.

‘Y/N, please. Just do as you’re told if you don’t want to be hurt.’ You looked up at him, angry at yourself for being this dumb, but also upset because your trust was again broken.

And even though you kept telling yourself that you and Baëkhyun only had ‘a casual thing’ going on, it did hurt. It hurt like a motherfucker, because you were used by a person you... fell in love with. You didn’t understand much of their plan yet, but something told you that it was all meant to hurt another person you loved.

Your feelings had always clouded your judgment. And now you’d gotten yourself into a completely lose-lose situation.

‘Don’t look at me like that,’ Baëkhyun pursed his lips. ‘You shouldn’t have tried to run away.’

‘Right. Bad little birdie for thinking of self-preservation and for once seeing someone for what he is,’ you mocked frustratedly.

‘I’m truly wondering how you restrain yourself from slapping her.’ You heard Kāi muse from behind Baëkhyun. ‘Maybe you should head in, and I’ll teach her how to cooperate, hyung.’

‘Let’s go,’ the blonde one grabbed your wrist and nodded to his crude green-haired companion. ‘Lead the way.’

You had no choice but to allow him to drag you into the building. Only then you noticed that it was somewhere you’d been before – the base previously utilized by Baekhyun and the boys. Before they abandoned it, of course. It looked different and foreign now, the hallways long and dark as you were taken to the bigger room with a round table, where the others were waiting.

At that point you saw their faces, struck by the similarities all of them bore to the squad you used to know. Your head was spinning again.

‘H- how? Who are you?’ You managed, taking in the unfamiliar variations of familiar faces.

‘So, I take it he didn’t educate her on the clones?’ Chanyeol, or at least someone who looked like him, sneered.

‘What clones? I thought-’

You were interrupted by Baëkhyun, who cleared his throat and announced.

‘She’s here, let’s begin.’

‘Don’t act like we’re not the ones who had to wait while you played with your target,’ someone scoffed from the farther side of the table.

‘Shut up, Chën.’ The silvery-white head shot a glare in his direction, eyes going from grayish blue to a darker shade. ‘Suhø,’ he turned to the red-haired man.

‘Well, well,’ he got up from his chair. ‘If it isn’t the Y/N. To be honest, you should thank Baëkhyun for having so much patience – our first idea was to kidnap and torture you for intel.’

Your eyes flicked back to Baëkhyun’s profile, but he didn’t spare you a glance.

‘Oh, I see you’re still looking for comfort in a familiar face. That’s not part of the plan. Baëkhyun, step out.’

The strategist’s head turned at the leader’s words.

‘What?’

‘Get out of the room. I don’t need her to think she has someone to count on here.’

‘But-’

‘I told you we’re not going to kill her, only use her.’ You swallowed, realizing your heart was beating somewhere in your throat at this announcement.

‘Suhø,’ he pressed again.

‘You shouldn’t be so fond of your little toy, you know,’ Chën piped up, cracking his knuckles theatrically.

‘Just lay a finger on her,’ Baëkhyun growled in response, rays of red light escaping from his now tight fists.

‘Yah, we don’t have time for your bullshit,’ Suhø interrupted their bickering. ‘The sooner you get out, the sooner we’re done with her.’

Baëkhyun pursed his lips and gave him a curt nod. Not meeting your despairing eyes, he left you in the room. Alone. With these monsters.

‘Fucking finally,’ Kāi clapped excitedly. ‘Let’s get this show on the road!’

‘Sit her down in that chair,’ someone said and you were pushed down forcefully.

The men started rearranging the room, moving laptops and phones and other stuff closer to you.

‘Hold her down, Sehūn,’ the leader ordered, then gave a nod to Chën.

You barely managed to sit still as he approached, even your knees shaking with panic.

‘What do you want from me?!’ You blurted.

‘Nothing much. We simply need your voice,’ Suhø shrugged and looked at another one of his accomplices. ‘Whenever you’re ready, Xiümin.’

Swallowing hard, you took in his words. You were the bait. To lure out the EXOs, perhaps? Or simply… Baekhyun?

Your heart faltered.

No, no, no. This was a trap, you should’ve known all along. Nevertheless, you allowed them to fool you, giving these men the leverage they needed. You weren’t going to make a sound! Anything to keep the boys away from trouble. Your mind was made up.

‘I have the line. But you have to catch his attention quickly, he’ll hang up fast if you don’t.’

‘No problem,’ the leader affirmed.

Xiümin nodded and used the keyboard to type something into a weird interface. Then turned the speaker on.

A ring sounded, then another one. You prayed that no answer would come, but after the third ring, the call was taken. For a long second, there was silence.

‘If you hang up, Y/N is going to die,’ Suhø began.

You blinked, feeling the angry tears form again, as you pursed your lips to keep your pitiful sobs in.

‘Talk,’ the speaker responded in what you realized was Minseok’s voice.

‘We have her now. At your old base. Come by sunrise if you want her alive,’ Suhø was concise in his demands. Minseok was silent for a few moments.

‘Why should we believe you? Let her talk if she’s there.’

Everyone turned to you, and you kept chewing on your lip.

‘You heard him.’ The leader referred to you, but you shook your head.

A brutal hand landed a slap across your face and then grabbed you by the hair.

‘Use your voice,’ it was Chën.

You only looked down at the greyish floor, not even blinking when you tasted blood.

‘Y/N, if you are really there, please say something,’ you jolted at the voice.

It was him. It was Baekhyun.

Breathing accelerating and heart racing, you couldn’t help the tears anymore. Wanting to scream and beg for him to come back for you, you kept shaking your head and refusing to make a sound.

‘I guess she’s not willing to make it easy on herself. Chën,’ Suhø tilted his head slightly, and you felt hands on you.

Sehūn had you in a headlock now, and Chën grabbed onto your arm with a cruel chuckle, jerking it so violently that you could not contain a wild yell. They let go of you, and you wailed, grabbing onto your numb lifeless limb in horror. You had never broken any bones, so you had no idea if he dislocated it, or fractured it, or worse. The pain was so immense that you couldn’t even register your name being called from the speaker.

‘By sunrise,’ Suhø reminded before they finished the call.

At that very moment, the door flew open.

‘What the fuck?!’ You heard Baëkhyun roar.

Red sparks fell around you as Chën was blasted away from you by a red ball of light.

His eyes were completely black, with red sparks – like those you witnessed attacking your abuser just now – floating angrily in there.

‘Stop this circus!’ Suhø raised his voice as Chën got up, something resembling little bolts of lightning appearing and disappearing around his forearms. ‘Stand down, the both of you. She was being stubborn, and we had to extract a reaction quickly. Your little human will be fine,’ he huffed, as if this was a normal course of action.

‘I’m taking her now,’ Baëkhyun answered firmly, stepping towards you.

‘Not so fast. She is to stay here until they arrive. As leverage.’ Suhø cleared his throat when their strategist wanted to protest. ‘You can keep watch over her yourself, in your room, or we can throw her in the dungeon downstairs and the boys will.’

‘She’ll stay with me,’ he gritted, helping you up gently not to disturb your hurting arm and walking you out of the room.

As soon as the door behind you slammed shut, he gathered you into his arms to carry you to the next destination. You didn’t try to resist, legs too wobbly to walk anyways, so you just cradled your arm and sniffled, at first not even noticing the room he took you in was quite familiar, as Baekhyun used to stay in it.

Baekhyun.

You sobbed, replaying his voice in your mind. The way he said your name, and how he pushed for you to let him know if you were there, if you were in danger… The stinging in your chest reignited because now he was going to walk right into this ambush because of you. Beginning to cry even harder, you forgot about your damaged arm, and the hurt, and the person who sat you down on the bed and kneeled in front of you.

‘It shouldn’t have been like this, Y/N. They wouldn’t have hurt you-’ He began, touching your hand.

‘Stop it!’ You slapped him in the face angrily. ‘You played with my feelings all this time, and now you’re just using me to hurt people I care about. Do you expect me to believe that you meant no harm? I hate you, Baëkhyun!’

‘I’m sorry,’ he muttered before raising his voice too. ‘But you shouldn’t have been stubborn! Why didn’t you just speak up?’

‘You really don’t understand?’ You asked in awe of his question. ‘You would if you ever loved anyone.’

‘So,’ he looked down at your lap, nudging his cheek with his tongue. ‘Is it Baekhyun? It’s because you still… love him?’

‘Why does it matter? I’m sure you guys, whoever you are, didn’t invite them here to have tea. What are you planning to do with them anyway? Is it about the Red?’

His eyes shot up to yours.

‘You know about the Red Force? He’s seriously dumb – telling you about them and leaving the clone part out!’

‘Yeah, and you’re so smart. Fooled a clueless girl with your great strategizing, well-fucking-done!’ Your words had plenty of bite, and Baëkhyun reacted.

‘Damn right! The only thing I didn’t do well to keep you safe is leaving your stubborn ass in the room with my crew, and it’s still so much better than the initial plan the Red had for you! I’ve kept you alive this long, haven’t I?’ He snapped at you, and you scoffed.

‘The only thing you didn’t- My arm was nearly ripped off, and it hurts like a motherfucker!’

‘Oh, does it now?’ He mocked, and you noticed how his fingers pressed onto certain spots of your arm, easing the pain significantly. ‘Chën could’ve done so much worse to you, Y/N. But this time he just used his knowledge of pressure points responsible for acute pain. And some of his power to shock you through them.’

He removed his fingers and you felt the pain subside, becoming almost irrelevant and foggy.

‘What- So it’s fine? My arm is fine?’ You asked, rubbing it in shock.

‘You’re fine,’ he breathed out, looking away.

For a while, you just sat like that, in complete silence.

‘Baëkhyun,’ you called, voice hoarse from all the crying. ‘Are you- going to kill them?’

He sucked his lower lip into his mouth, thinking your question over.

‘I don’t know. The plan is to capture and hand them over to the Red. There’s no telling what they’ll do to them this time.’

‘Shit,’ you swore, hiding your face in your palms. ‘This is all my fault.’

‘It isn’t. We were on their tail for a while, you just became our bargaining chip.’

Huffing, you hit the mattress with an open palm in a fit of annoyance.

‘Had I not trusted you so stupidly, this wouldn’t have happened!’

‘Oh, birdie,’ he tilted his head to the side, as if talking to a capricious child. ‘The way we met… sparked my interest. And when it was discovered that you used to be… his girlfriend,’ he paused. ‘Suhø wasn’t kidding – the Red suggested that we torture you. But I came up with a different plan, because I-,’ he looked away as if he struggled to continue. ‘I didn’t want them to hurt you.’

The way he stuttered drew your attention. But you weren’t willing to let him in again. Not about to make the same mistake twice. Instead, you kept questioning him.

‘Did you find ways to contact them through me, too?’

Baëkhyun nodded, and you gave him an expectant look. He sighed and elaborated.

‘The strawberry necklace. You told me it was from someone important to you, so I assumed it was Baekhyun, especially since he likes the damn thing. Checked it out when you were asleep because I know what I would’ve done.’

You were still confused as to what he meant.

‘He was tracking you live, so we managed to hack into it and trace the line back to a burner phone. We could not access the location without establishing a direct connection, but we got the number.’

‘I just gave you this one,’ you chuckled bitterly, and his blue eyes dropped to your knees again. ‘And now we’re freaking doomed.’

He shook his head to this. ‘I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but I promise I’ll keep you safe.’

‘You think that’s what I want?! When the person I love gets murdered or worse, all thanks to-’

‘Stop saying that!’ He raised his voice again, hitting the mattress with a fist, red sparks flying everywhere without hurting you. ‘Why do you love him all that much? Didn’t he leave you?’

‘He’s walking into a trap to save me. And he’s a strategist like you, he clearly knows the odds. Are you really asking me why?’

Baëkhyun stared at you, chest heaving, and nostrils flared. It seemed like he wanted to argue, tell you that you were wrong. But instead, he looked away. His voice sounded hollow when he spoke again, eyes a dim shade of blue.

‘Get some rest. Tomorrow’s gonna be a tough day.’

Lying in bed wide awake most of the night, you prayed for a miracle that would somehow save your EXO boys.

>> Chapter 4 [fin]

A/N: Meet X-EXO ✨ So... What do you think of Baёk at this point? Is he a bad guy or worse? Is Y/N going to make it? Just one chapter left, we’re almost there!! Let’s hope that EXO show up on time yes I'm evil

[strutitout]

LARRY FIC REC - recently read

1. I don't want a taste (I want it all) [3K] by  thedaggerrose (blessedfetish)

What Louis really needed was a fat fucking nap.

What Louis got instead was some hipster-looking wannabe arguing with him over the validity of avocado toast.

Or the AU where Harry tells Louis to go fuck himself, Louis tells Harry to fuck him himself, and Harry follows through.

✨ Cute and hot + they bantering over avocado tost.

2. Right Side of the Wrong Bed [10K] by  eyesofshinigami 

There, standing in a pair of ridiculously tiny briefs and wielding a frying pan in one hand, is quite possibly the prettiest boy he's ever seen. Louis scrubs a hand across his face. "I'm in the wrong goddamn flat, aren't I?"

Or, the one where Louis wakes up on the wrong couch only to meet his future husband (even if Harry doesn't know it yet).

✨ This was not the first and won’t be the last time I read this fic. It’s super fun, hot, and even though it’s “just” 10K, their connection is really well-built.

3. When Least Expected [22K] by  Rearviewdreamer

Drowning in a sea of emails and Zoom meetings in the living room, his lonely son falling more and more behind in his kitchen classroom, and crushing weight of the world being on house arrest for the foreseeable future, one fateful online interaction suddenly has everything looking up.

✨Louis’ kid is having a hard time trying to adjust to the new reality brought by COVID, until he starts having music classes with music teacher Harry, and things start looking up for both father and son. Very sweet fic and really interesting to see them falling on love over this hard times.

4. Naked Attraction #2 [29K] by reader_chic_2

“By the way, I checked you out quite a lot before your tube was raised.”

Harry smiled lustrously, “Yeah? More than Leonard? He might have been crazy, but he was sort of cute.”

Louis raised an eyebrow. “Maybe to you, Styles, but I don’t enjoy dominating in the bedroom.”

“Is that so?” Harry licked his lips. “Funnily enough, I do.”

Louis felt like his heart was going to explode out of his chest. “I’m not sure if someone as adorable as you could dish out commands.”

Harry laughed brightly, and in a second flat his hand reached out and gripped his hip so hard it made Louis gasp. His eyes darkened, boring into Louis’ with a burning intensity. “And I’m not sure someone as mouthy as you could take my commands. Want to test it out?”

. . .

Louis Tomlinson is the first openly gay football player in the Premier football League. He was outed by the paps, but he’s had to embrace it since then. To show he doesn’t have shame in it, he goes onto Naked Attraction, and all the money will go to LGBTQ+ support, but he has made some changes to the show. Incidentally, he meets a certain Harry Styles there, and that is when things get interesting...

✨ This was really really fun, loved their dynamic and found it a very original story. Fluff, fun and smut. 

✨ Additional tags: Spanking. Subspace.  

5. Hold Me Closer [36K] by  balanceds

Louis Tomlinson is one of the most promising dancers of the English National Ballet, on track to become the youngest principal dancer in the company's history. That is, until forces conspire to significantly complicate his life, including: a surprise ballet, an unfairly attractive guest choreographer, and being pushed into a rivalry with his best mate. Featuring lots of wine, dancing, pining, and a happy ending.

✨ I’m not an expert but from the comments it seems the writter nailed the “dancing world” characterization (even though you don’t have to know anything about it to enjoy it). There’s some good banter and friendship; hot smut; lots of pining and not that much angst.

6. Whisper The Wind [36K] by  jacaranda_bloom

Louis’ father has political ambitions and decides it’s time for Louis to step up as the company’s Chief Financial Officer. Louis thinks this is a monumentally stupid idea. After storming off in a rage he has a chance meeting with a tall, dark, curly haired stranger. A technical glitch with their shared elevator finds Louis spending twenty minutes with the most intriguing man he’s ever met. Unfortunately the man is leaving London the very next day and moving to Australia to work at his mates surf school. Timing, as they say, can fuck right off.

Fast forward three years and Louis is miserable, a shadow of the man he once was, working in his father’s company, and hating every moment. At his thirtieth birthday party, surrounded by people he doesn’t know or doesn’t like, he decides to throw it all in and follow the impossible dream. Happiness, a fulfilling life, and someone to love. The question is, will that dream be found ten thousand miles away on a sandy beach, with a curly headed surfer dude?

---

Or the one where Louis rides an elevator that may change his life forever, Harry loves the ocean but is a terrible surfer, Liam proves not all heroes wear capes, and Niall might actually have all the answers.

✨ No angst, this is 36K of pure fluff and hot smut (read tags). They fall in love almost immediately, so they are already together most of the story.

7. King of wishful thinking [38K] by  Star_Henderson

“Don't umm don't get on the bus, come inside.” Louis blurted the words out, speaking quickly.

Harry looked startled.

“Just. Look I don't know if I want..” Louis scrubbed his face with his hand. “I'll pay for your time. Just come in.”

Harry stepped away from the bus stop and the bus sailed straight past.

“What's umm what do you guys make these days?”

Harry shuffled his feet. “Depends. Like two hundred an hour.”

Louis hummed. “Reasonable.” He gestured towards the hotel. “Come up for a drink or some room service or something.”

Harry scraped the toe of his already scuffed boots on the floor. “You don't have to do this, I feel like… like you're a nice person who feels bad but it's fine. I get it. You don't have to make it up to me.”

Louis stared at Harry. It'd been so long since he'd even spoken to a guy let alone hung out with one. He'd enjoyed the banter and the flirting.

“Come up.” Louis’ voice was soft.

Harry’s face bloomed into a smile. “Ok.”

✨This is another one that I’ve read more than once and still love. Sex worker Harry. Really sweet, very well-written and their love is really well constructed. 

8. hush. [41K] by  Wankerville

“I don't like you like that, Harry.”

“See,” Harry starts, Louis can hear the smile in his voice, “that's where I think you're lying.”

---

or an au where small towns suck, louis is losing it, and harry’s just too perfect.

✨ Read the tags! My notes on this one were: SO SO BEAUTIFULLLLL. Loved it, angst (but not a heartbreaking one), SO MUCH FLUFF, great dialogues, great banter and smut. Loved it!!! (lol)

9.  Don't Look Down [91K] by  zarah5

AU. In which Louis is a solicitor at one of London’s most prestigious law firms and Harry happens to apply for the position as his trainee. And everyone else is around, too.

✨I love everything they write and this one wasn’t different. Amazing characterization, great dialogues, great banter! Absolutely loved it! Not much smut. A bit angsty, wanted to punch Louis at times, but all ended well. 

10. Let Me Be Your Star [252K] by  lovelarry10

Harry Styles has always been a singer, but he’s never had much confidence in himself. When his idol is brought on as the new judge on The X-Factor, he figures, what the hell? He’d get to sing and meet his idol. What could go wrong?

~

Louis Tomlinson has always wanted to mentor young musicians. When he’s asked to be a judge on The X-Factor, it’s a dream come true, everything he ever wanted. What he didn’t expect was to meet a curly-headed stranger that would turn his life upside down

✨Hot smut, a lot of fluff and not that much angst. Harry seems a bit immature (which makes sense for his age) but their relatioship is really sweet. (I also enjoy that the writer included pictures of how they imagined H and L on each presentation)

[sapiowoman28]

Try (Chapter 6): Madam's Party

Pairing: Mark x Y/N x Johnny

Genre: smut, fluff, undercover au with cranky undercover agents

Warnings: mentions of Mark's mental health issues, brief mention of bathroom sex, drug use, Jaehyun is miserable, Doyoung is back, Taeyong saves the day, mentions of a fight. Oh, and Ten doesn't like women hitting on him.

Note: the next few chapters after this one and the next will focus more on the relationship between Johnny and Y/N as well as the dynamic between Doyoung and Y/N.

Mark watched the screen as his online payment went through. He had just booked his tickets for his trip to London. This time he planned to stay 2 weeks.

He had learned his lesson. That one time a year or two ago he stayed there for a month, and it was a total disaster. He came back with his head all messed up, panicking about life in general.

Then both Taeyong and Y/N convinced him to do some online therapy thing and things got better. He was in a better head space now. He was no longer a nervous wreck, overthinking his life and his future. But he kept his trips short. The London weather just didn't agree with him, and he didn't really enjoy the vibe there.

His phone beeped. He picked it up to see who had texted.

"Hey." it was Y/N. He missed his best friend terribly. But he wasn't sure if he was ready to talk.

"Hi." he replied after 2 minutes of staring at the message.

"You going for the party?"

"Yeah. With Kun and Lucas."

"I'm going too."

"With Doyoung?" he smiled to himself. "I heard he's going."

"Mark Lee! You never change do you?" he could imagine her looking exasperated. He giggled to himself.

Silence. He put his phone back down.

It dinged again a minute later. It was her.

"I should have used the safe word when you did what you did. Instead i just continued and got resentful. And made you leave after that."

"I should have been gentle.... I'm sorry Y/N."

"Maybe we need to talk about no go areas. Johnny thinks three of us should have dinner next week and talk. We're all new to this you know."

"I'm going to London next week. For two weeks."

"Can I go too? I really want to meet that weird uncle of yours who believes in aliens."

They ended up talking on the phone, catching up about life the past 2 weeks. Neither of them mentioned the incident again. The discomfort was still a little too fresh in their minds. But they were glad they were talking again.

The party was in full swing when Y/N arrived at half past 11. Yuta had indeed booked the entire VIP section and just about everyone was there. A small group of people had formed around Doyoung, fussing over him and his crutches and he was enjoying every bit of attention he was given. She rolled her eyes.

She wasnt sure if she was ready to face him yet. Their relationship had been terse since that incident where she punched him in the face during a heated argument. in the middle of an operation. in fact when Doyoung got into an accident during the next operation she was a little relieved he would be out for a while to recover. Now he was a little more mobile, it sure looked like he would be back sooner rather than later.

But having to deal with Taeyoung was worse. At least Doyoung recognised she was the best person to get advice on technology matters, and respected her recommendations. So maybe Doyoung being back would be a good thing. She decided to walk over. Doyoung had spotted her, and there was no escape now anyway.

"DDDDDDD!!!!!!" she shrieked excitedly hoping she was at least a little convincing.

"Oh my! Y/N! You are looking good! Must be the glow of love?" Doyoung winked as they hugged.

Stupid Taeyong. He couldn't ever stop talking about Johnny to everyone.

"I see Taeyong's told you."

"Yes, of course, he really really approves." Doyoung whispered. "I just hope you're behaving?"

Y/N sighed. The legacy of her and Mark was always going to be there. No escape. She wished they'd get over it for once. It only happened the first 6 months of her joining the unit. They had already declared each other as best friends a year ago. But everyone still insisted they had a thing for each other.

Some other person faked shrieked at Doyoung and she left as soon as she could, taking a seat at the bar to people watch, ordering a drink. She scanned the room, cursing silently as she saw Ten approaching.

She wasn't in the mood to talk about work now. He wasn't pleased with the first draft of her report, and wanted to make changes she didn't approve of. The guy had something stuck up his ass. It always had to be done his way, but it just wasn't always the best way to go about things.

"Hi my dear!" Ten gave her a kiss on both her cheeks. "Looking good! Heard from Taeyong you have a boyfriend now."

She was going to kill Taeyong.

"You look hot, Ten. I love your shirt! Are the girls throwing themselves at you again?" she grinned.

Ten grimaced. "I seriously don't want to talk about it."

"You're so handsome, I don't blame them you know." she pinched his cheek. He laughed.

"About the report you emailed me." he started.

"I saw your email. But i don't wanna talk about work tonight, Ten. Can we just have fun?" she pouted.

"Fine. I'll call you on Monday. Anyway i just came over to say hi and tell you how good you're looking. I've to go back to the guys. I've been tasked to keep an eye on Jaehyun tonight. He's being a little heavy with the drinking."

"I'm sorry, is this seat taken?" they turned to look. Mark.

"Hello stranger." Y/N grinned. Mark looked adoringly at her.

"I promise I won't tell anyone." said Ten, slipping away. "Your boyfriend won't ever find out!"

"What's wrong with him?" mark asked.

"He's been tasked with babysitting Jae."

"Oh man. Dude must be in a totally angsty mood now."

"Yeah this party isn't helping, you know. It's like Yuta rubbing in his face, 'I got a promotion, Jaehyun! I got a promotion! Yay!!!'"

"And you're drinking?" he tasted her gin and tonic. "You can't even handle the alcoholic content of Kombucha."

"Mark Lee! I swear to god! I was not tipsy on Kombucha that time. You need to stop telling that story to everyone. I can hold my liquor!" Y/N faked strangled him as he giggled.

Their eyes met. And the laughing stopped.

"I missed you." he said.

"You were the one who refused to talk to me. For two fucking weeks, Mark Lee! Two weeks!" she chided.

"You didn't talk to me either."

"I wanted to give you space."

"Thanks. I needed time to think."

"Are you done thinking?"

"Yeah.

"What's the conclusion."

"I agree with you guys that we need to discuss no-go areas. We can do that when I'm back."

"Ok. As long as your mind is not fucked up like that time... "

"It was just one time, Y/N! Just one time!"

"I'm just teasing you baby. Im glad therapy has helped you feel more grounded." She smiled. "I'm proud of your progress you know."

"I miss you calling me baby." he grabbed her hand.

"Mark, people are watching. I bet Kun's watching us now." she scanned the room, catching Kun's eye at the other side of the bar where he was with Lucas and Doyoung. Kun, realising he had been caught watching, looked away after shaking his head.

"Idiot." she cursed. "Maybe we should put on a show to irritate him."

Mark giggled.

"I can't believe Lucas and Doyoung are hanging out." Y/N nudged Mark, whose eyes grew huge upon realising that they were indeed siting together.

"Lucas fucking hates him, yo!"

"Well Doyoung doesn't like Lucas much either. Which makes this funny."

"Half the people here don't like the other half. They're all pretending."

"So are you pretending to like me too Mark Lee?"

"What do you think, Y/N?"

"You love me." she grinned.

"Well you love me too." he winked then stiffened. This conversation was getting odd. Y/N looked away.

They spent the evening in a comfortable silence, watching the party get rowdier and rowdier as more people joined. Some people started to bring out the magical stuff and it was downhill from there.

Y/N knew she was done for the night when she needed the rest room, only to enter it and find Yuta with his lady bent over the sink, him screwing her. She froze, they stopped to look at her, eyes dilated from whatever drug they had taken.

"Er. Hi guys!" she chirped awkwardly.

"Y/N!!!" Yuta exclaimed excitedly as Madam giggled. "Hi Y/N!"

"Bye!" she grinned.

she turned around stomping off. She needed to pee. Badly. There was only one person who could help her.

"Taeyong!" She yelled as she stomped towards him. He was talking to Mark and Taeil. All three of them looked at her.

"Hmm. Someone looks crossed." Taeyong teased. She wasn't in the mood for teasing.

"I need to pee urgently, but your two best friends are in there screwing. You're the only person who can sort this out, Tae! Please, put your tyrant nature to good use?"

Mark laughed hysterically as Taeil shook his head and smiled.

"Your wish is my command, Miss Y/N" Taeyong laughed before strding to the female restroom to scare them out.

"And you thought your unit was dysfunctional." Taeil said to Y/N who burst out laughing.

Taeyong came back after completing his task, and Y/N raced to the washroom, glad to finally be able to pee. She washed her hands, and was touching up her lipstick when she heard Mark's voice.

"Er. Y/N?" He stood at the door awkwardly.

"Mark, what the heck?"

"I think we should leave. A fight broke out."

"what happened?"

"I think Jaehyun challenged Yuta to a fist fight."

Y/N sighed. Maybe Taeil was right about his unit. And yes, it was time to call it a night. But she was hungry.

"Supper?" she asked Mark. His eyes lit up as he nodded his head.

[sunflowerheartsandstarryskies]

Ain’t Family Great? ~ Lucifer Morningstar x  GenderNeutral!Reader

Summary: You have come from a very religious household, and they don’t take too kindly when they heard that you are dating someone literally named the devil.

Author’s Note: I literally got this idea from seeing a dialogue prompt on Pinterest, and it just spiraled out of control. 

Trigger Warning: Curse words, some innuendos, biblical literalism, religious talk (It is Lucifer)

You were a friend and coworker of Chloe Decker, you mostly worked in the background doing research and gathering the data on the criminals and suspects of the cases your unit was working on. That is how you met Lucifer, Chloe asked you to gather information on two main suspects on a case she was working on and Lucifer was lingering on in the background.

 When you gave Chloe the information you gathered and she left, Lucifer piped up, “What’s your name? I haven’t seen you before” “That’s because I mostly work on research stuff for cases, so I do a lot of the office work and investigative work that requires me to be in a chair for the whole day. My name’s (Y/N), Chloe’s mentioned you before,” you replied with a small smile. “Ah I hope not all of them are terrible, even if I am the Devil I like to think I have a certain amount of charm,” he said with a smirk.

That’s when you first heard him call himself the devil, and if you were honest with yourself you were always curious about his name: Lucifer Morningstar. 

You grew up in an extremely religious household, which at times felt like you were suffocating from the relentless biblical literalism that was upheld in your house. You were always curious about the Devil in the biblical stories and you always found the quote by Mark Twain interesting if read in a certain context otherwise it’ll sound like an angsty emo kid trying to be philosophical. 

There was an instance where you were on a case with Chloe and Lucifer, and the killer had said, “Oh, you know that phrase? The devil made me do it? It felt like that” 

You let out a light snort at that as you immediately responded, “The devil didn’t make you do anything. Your poor impulse control and anger management, and might I add quite a horrid spectacle of internet history could certainly be a bad combination to make you do something.”

After the case, Lucifer was very curious about your statement towards the killer as you guys headed to a cafe to get some lunch together, he asks, “Why were you so against the man using that phrase? I mean I hate it because it is so demeaning, I’ve got better things to do.”

 You shrugged as you sipped your beverage and responded, “I don’t know, maybe it’s partly because of my very religious family which I have realized how much bullshit I was forced to listen to since I was born, so I guess I grew to have sympathy for the devil.” “Oh really?” Lucifer’s small smile grew to a smirk as he leaned forward, Chloe swatted him to move back.

“Not you. I don’t know you, but one of my favorite quotes about the devil is from Mark Twain,”  you commented. “I don’t think I have,” he continued to have that smirk on his face. He was very handsome but he was so goddamn annoying, you thought. “Well, it goes: ‘Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?’ Like, there’s this whole thing about redemption in the Bible and catholicism but does the Devil ever get the chance to get his redemption? No, I think God wanted a scapegoat and he got it from a rebel,” you ranted. 

Lucifer looked shocked for a moment but gathered his posture and said, “Well, you thought about this quite a bit. I assume because of your family?” You just shrugged at first, took a sip from your drink, then nodded. “Their family is very strict, I thought my family was weird but they got me beat, ” Chloe informed him. 

“They stopped talking to me, they didn’t think that I was enough for them. It hurt at first but y’know as time moves on I figured that I have better things to do than wallow in my past, so I realized I needed help so I got therapy and now I’m here,” you surmised. “Family is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? Filling us with traumas and issues since we were created,” Lucifer commented.

                                                                                                                             Time has passed between that first case with Lucifer and Chloe, now whenever they needed an extra pair of eyes they’d call on you to help with them. It was an interesting dynamic that you and Lucifer had developed over the weeks that you were going with them on cases. You were able to talk about literally anything with Lucifer, he made you feel comfortable which is odd since his persistence on him calling himself the Devil. By him associating himself with it, you thought he was supposed to be like an actual bad guy, but gauging his reaction to your conversation about your first case with them, you made a realization that because of his name people treat like the actual devil. 

One day, you went through your mail in the apartment lobby and spotted a letter that was from your hometown, and another one with the return address being your parents’ house. ‘The hell is this?’ you thought. 

When you opened the first one you found a wedding invitation that your cousin was inviting you to, you were actually pretty close with this cousin, she was really chill and she understands the conservative and religious household you used to live in. The second one was your parents’ basically condemning you from being at your cousin’s wedding, and that pissed you off. You were a grown adult, you would be damned if you’d let your parents try to control you anymore. 

You decided to go out to LUX, because if there is one person who understands controlling parents it was Lucifer and maybe he’d be able to give you the extra courage you need to stand up to your parents. You had on your favorite party outfit, and when you entered the club you could feel the thrum of energy and the bass of the music go straight to your heart. As you walked to the bar you spotted Maze whom you’ve met before when you came here out of Lucifer’s request, you waved her over.

 “What can I get for you?” She asked. “I’m sure you know what’s the best drink here, so I’ll leave that to you,” you said. You turned around to just watch the crowd and started to get a little nervous about the idea of going back to your hometown for the wedding, you love your cousin but hate your parents. So, you were at a bit of a crossroads with this. While you were watching the crowd you saw Lucifer come up to you with a big grin on his face. 

“Well, hello (Y/N) this is a surprise. What brings you here?” Lucifer beamed.

 “I actually came here to see you, to ask for advice,” you replied. 

“A horrible decision really,” he smirked.

“My cousin invited me to her wedding but my parents know and basically condemned me from going to the wedding, and I’m unsure of whether to just stay here in L.A. or to go to the wedding and just be resilient against what my parents’ might say to me,” you said crossing your arms and rubbing them back and forth. 

“Well, that sounds like quite a situation you got yourself in”

“I know, that’s why I am asking what I should do?”

“You know I’m all about that rebellion against parental figures, so I say go to the wedding and have a good time, your parents be damned. In fact, I would never say no to a party, so I could come up with you,” he added with a wink.

“Would you like to be my plus one? But please don’t start anything with my parents,” you begged him.

“I thought you’d never ask, and I can’t promise you that,” he smirked.

                                                                                                                            After, that conversation both of you got ready for travelling out to your hometown and you made sure to bring the outfits that gave you the most confidence in yourself because you knew that you’d need that. 

You admitted to yourself a while ago that you had a crush on Lucifer, he was hot as hell, always polite with you, and treated you with genuine interest and respect.  You also made a promise to not let your feelings get caught in the middle of your mission. You are going to have a good time at this wedding, congratulate your cousin and just have a good time. 

                                                                                                                            Both of you made it one piece to the hotel that Lucifer somehow booked without your knowledge, because you swore you got a cheap motel room but as you tried to convince Lucifer to let you go to your motel room, he just said, “Are you crazy? I’m the devil for a reason, darling, I got connections everywhere and plus this place is much more spacious. We don’t need to sleep in the same bed if that’s what’s making you uncomfortable.”

“I just thought you would probably be looking for hookups or something and would want your own hotel room for that stuff,” you sputtered. 

“Well if that comes to it, I’ll go to their room because I wanted to give you the comfiest place to go back to because I know how family can be,” Lucifer answered. 

“That’s really nice of you, y’know for someone insisting he’s the devil you can be really sweet.”

The hotel room was really nice, it had two bedrooms and a large tv screen in front of the dining area. As time moved on and you guys decided to decompress and relax on one bed and decided to just mindlessly watch the tv. You fell asleep and Lucifer watched you for a moment as he realized you were asleep, he put you under the covers and fell asleep next to you.

The next day you woke up to the sunlight hitting your eyes, you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and as you took a deep breath in you smelled something delicious. You turned around and saw Lucifer cooking breakfast with his shirt half undone and his hair all curled up. 

“Good morning (Y/N), how did you sleep?” Lucifer asked.

“Pretty good, actually,” you answered with a yawn still trying to wake up.

As you both ate breakfast in relative comfortable silence, you looked at your phone and noticed the time. “Shit, we should get ready to go to the church and the party afterwards,” you told him as you got up and went to your suitcase to gather your things.

After what seems like hours to both of you, you managed to get out of the hotel room and to the church. Lucifer dropped you off in front of the church as he wanted to find a parking space for his car. As you waited in front of the church you noticed your parents walking to the church and felt your stomach churn as they were inching closer to you. Your mom looked furious and it was like her whole head was on fire how red it was. Your dad had a more quiet anger to him but you saw the clenched fists and the tightened jaw on him. You put out a little prayer to whoever to get Lucifer faster to you. 

“What are you doing here? I thought we told you to not come here,” your mother sneered.

“The last time I checked I am a grown adult and (Y/C/N) invited me to their wedding,” you stated. 

“Listen here you bitch, you are a disgrace to this family and that is why we didn’t want you here,” your mother hissed.

Before you could get another word in you heard Lucifer, “Oh there you are, love, I was looking for you.” He kissed the side of your head as he wrapped a hand around your waist and looked at your parents as he continued, “You must be (Y/N)’s parents, I’m her boyfriend, a pleasure to meet you.”

You looked at him a bit surprised and your parents’ faces were that of a gulping goldfish. “Oh, I’m terribly sorry I haven’t introduced myself. My name is Lucifer. Lucifer Morningstar,” he stated.

“Like the devil?” your father said with apprehension in his voice, he made your mom step back behind him. 

“Oh, I’m not as bad as the books say, you know,” Lucifer spoke with a wink.

“Quiet, evil one,”  your dad sneered.

“Oooh, name-calling so fearsome, “ Lucifer scoffed. He looked towards you as you were just staring at the three of them. “C’mon love, we’ve got a wedding to go to, can’t be late.”

                                                                                                                            After that encounter the wedding reception went quite beautifully, you may or may not have teared up hearing your cousin and their spouse recite their vows. When you both went to the after-party you both stayed away from your parents and they seemed to have lost interest after that conversation earlier. 

A slow dance came on while you were at the bar getting a drink when Lucifer appeared next and offered you his hand. You just raised an eyebrow at him in response and just said, “I thought you weren’t the type for slow dancing?” “Only with the right partner I find it enjoyable,” he smirked with a wink. 

You hit him on the chest playfully and replied, “How do you know I’d be the right partner?” you asked. “Ooh I’d figure you’d be good at from the first day I saw you” he quipped. “Okay show me your moves, then,” you replied, taking his hand and walking to the dance floor.

He led most of the dances, keeping you close to his chest with his hand on your back. It was nice, the rhythm of his heartbeat in your ear was very soothing as well as him occasionally humming with the song if he knew, which more often than not he did. 

You looked at him and you both started to stare at each other’s eyes. You felt your eyes flutter between his eyes and his lips, he was doing the same to you. His hand cupped the back of your head and he engulfed your mouth with his. You kissed back with as much passion, but as soon as he was kissing you it was over. That kiss left you wanting more and you subconsciously leaned in closer to him.

“Wow” you whispered looking at him. Lucifer just smiled at you for a second. “I hope you wouldn’t mind if you became my real girlfriend then a spontaneous fake one?” he asked. “I would love nothing more Lucifer,” you replied with a huge grin. “Let’s get out of here then, love,” he said as he took your hand and led you out of the building and back to your shared hotel room. This time there didn’t need to be any excuses to sleep next to each other, you just did.

[wonderwomanfantasy]

tease me like you love me

 I’m in an angsty mood so be prepared I guess. 

Alpha!Kirishima x Beta! reader

word count: 2,500 (about)

warnings: angst self-hate, flirting, A/B/O dynamics,  My Mina love really popped out in this one I’m sorry,

Summary: you know how this story goes, the big strong alpha falls for the meek and cute omega, but you were just a Beta, and not really sure how you fit into that story especially when you want the Alpha for yourself. Maybe life really does have a plan for you, and maybe that plan just doesn’t include Kirishima. 

Kirishima had first met you at the UA entrance exam, both of you locked in the same zone huddled around the large doors waiting for them to open and the test to start. you were fidgeting with the sleeves on your shirt looking small and nervous. He probably wouldn’t have even noticed you if you hadn't been standing right next to him. 

He tried not to stare at you, but he did. Kirishima was sure that you had a powerful quirk, you wouldn’t be standing here otherwise, but he just couldn’t help but wonder if you would be okay. Kirishima decided he would keep an eye on you and protect you if you ended up needing his help. He smiled to himself, that’s what a real man would do.

He had just recently presented as an Alpha and he had never been more thrilled. not that there was anything wrong with being a Beta, or an Omega he was just happy to have a concrete label for himself that seemed to fit perfectly.

Even though he had promised himself to watch after the small Beta girl that had caught his eye he only saw you once. You held two robots, one in each hand, and cracked the heads of the machines together breaking them both. Superstrength? He wondered before snapping out of his daze and suddenly remembering he was in the middle of a fight. a good thing he remembered right then too, otherwise, a robot would have taken his head clean off. He was glad to see you were holding your own, fighting bravely even. Selfishly he hoped this wouldn’t be the last time he saw you. 

The two of you ended up in 1-A together and because of your quirks the two of you were often paired together, wich, Kirishima didn’t hide his excitement about. You were perfect and he didn’t want to spend a second of his life away from you, even if that was an unrealistic dream. 

Kirishima didn’t know much about girls, less about Omegas and Betas but the way his inner Alpha purred whenever you were near, he knew you were something special. ‘Soulmates’ were just a children's story, he knew that there was no way that there was someone truly meant for him, he was just a silly kid with a crush. Kirishima was a romantic at heart and in the back of his mind, he held on to that sweet idea being true. 

Kirishima did his best to get on your good side, he always remembered to greet you in the mornings and smile at you in the hallways. You would smile shyly back and his heart would flutter. You were too cute for this world. He made it his goal to get close to you, if only he knew just how much he already meant to you. 

You were completely infatuated with the red-haired Alpha. his scent alone was enough to make your heart jump. He was kind, strong, and easily the most handsome boy you had ever seen. 

Every time he was even in the same room as you, you became tongue-tied barely able to squeak out a word to him. Wich, Kirishima never really minded. He was chatty enough for both of you. but, as much as you liked him you knew it wouldn’t work out. He was an Alpha, he wanted some cutesy little omega to faun over and spoil. not a Beta like you. you really should just cut your losses and accept him as a friend. 

You couldn't help the spike of jealousy when you looked at your Omega classmates, some of whom had to be pinning after your Alpha. You wondered hopelessly if he was in love with any of them, but you weren’t close enough to ask him those sorts of questions. 

Still, he was eager enough to spend time with you, and you couldn’t resist him at all. you already knew your reply would be a firm yes every time he invited you to eat lunch with him or train with him.

Your quirks were good together both of you able to test your limits when you trained. there was only one small problem every time his big hands wrapped around your waist to throw you across the ring your breath stopped and you were unable to resist him. you went limp in his grasp,  your instincts defaulting to him every time. It was infuriating, you didn’t have this problem when you spared with Todoroki, a much more formidable alpha. knowing the reason behind your mental block didn’t make this any less infuriating. 

Kirishima was frustrated but for a completely different reason. He just wanted to court you, this shouldn’t be this difficult. He knew that you probably wouldn’t react well to being courted like an omega, so he tried researching how to court Betas- which returned nothing. the closest thing he found was another Alpha asking the same question, the only answer they got was Betas don’t need courting, just ask them on a date or to be your partner and that should work out. 

Kirishima couldn’t believe that. There had to be more, scentings, gifts, acts of service, something. He couldn’t just ask you out without any preamble, what if you said no? He would figure something out to butter you up so you would fall for him the same way he had fallen for you. 

Kirishima’s fears were confirmed the very next day. He had just been walking from the school to the dorms when he heard your timid voice. his feet carried him to where you were before he could even think about it. You stood awkwardly in front of the boy as he stumbled over his words. 

“I’m sorry,” you started. “you seem like a really nice guy, but I can’t go out with you,” you explained, 

“Why?” he demanded

“There is someone else,” you told him your eyes firmly fixed on the top of your shoes.  The boy nodded stiffly before running away. an ugly sinking feeling settled in Kirishima’s stomach, at least his suspicion that he couldn’t just ask you out was confirmed. the jealousy made his skin prickle, the idea of someone other than him was borderline insufferable. You turned and started making your way towards him and he quickly through on a happy go lucky smile.

“Hey (y/n)!” he called cheerily, startling you. your face paled as you wondered how much of that he had just seen. He pretended that he had just stumbled across you. “Headed back to the Dorms? I’ll walk with you,” he offered. you smiled and nodded, falling in step beside him. He didn’t want to give you up so he would just have to prove he was the better option, after all, he had never minded a challenge. 

You had spent the last few days avoiding Kirishima. Not that you wanted to spend less time with him, but if you didn’t avoid him you were worried your heart would give out. You had no clue what had gotten into him all of a sudden but it was overwhelming. he offered you his coat when you forgot yours, supprised you with little snacks and small trinkets, helped you clean the kitchen even though it wasn’t his night. It was sweet, but too much, especially when he refused to let you return the favor. These weren’t things a friend would do, but he couldn’t be flirting right? So you had been avoiding him, Denki had also made a comment on how weird Kirishima was acting so maybe this was some Alpha thing and he was doing this to all his friends, you decided to leave him alone until he got it all out of his system. 

Of course, things had not gone as planned. it was movie night and you had ended up sitting right next to Kirishima, Shoji on the other side of you squishing you further into the Alpha’s side. wich wasn’t to say it was unpleasant. Kirishima was warm and smelled like sandalwood and vanilla. Masculine yet welcoming. His arm was resting on the couch back behind your head, almost around your shoulders. it was nice being so close to him but again, not good for your heart. you wondered if he could hear the pounding thunk thunk thunk sound it was making. 

Kirishima couldn’t hear your heart, but he could see how red your face was. you were cute when you blushed. He was practicing some serious self-control himself right now. He wanted to slip his arm around your waist and pull you flush against him. He had given up on the gift idea as that only seemed to make up uncomfortable, may be small acts of physical affection would work better. although even that was risky, his rut was close, he might go overboard if he wasn’t careful. 

Neither of you paid close attention to the movie. Both of you too excited about sitting next to the other to pay attention to anything else. Most people have fallen asleep, leaving you in relative solitude. Even though Shoji had left, leaving the small couch to the two of you, you had hardly moved from Kirishima’s side as though you hadn’t noticed. 

You flicked your eyes to Kirishima without a real purpose and saw that he was looking right back at you, at your shoulder more specifically. “what are you staring at?” you whispered pulling him from his thoughts rather abruptly. 

“Sorry you have a mole on your shoulder, I just noticed it,” he answered matching your quiet tone looking embarrassed. you tensed wondering why he had noticed something so small, he seemed to sense it. 

“oh god, that makes it sound creepy. My mother used to tell me that moles mark the spot where your soulmate kissed you the most in a past life- see look I have one here on my wrist,” he explained showing you his own mole. Though that was the story he had first thought of when he had seen the beauty mark that wasn’t what he was thinking about when you caught him staring. Kirishima stared back down at your shoulder and wondered again what it would be like to kiss you there, reclaim the skin that had certainly been his in a past life.

“I just- that’s kind of a weird place to kiss right? I was thinking reasons you might get shoulder kisses that’s all,” he whispered subconsciously licking his lips. a shudder ran down your spine. the way he purred the explanation into your ear and licked his lips while looking at you really made it seem like he wanted to eat you alive right there on the couch. The scary part was, that if he pounced on you right now, you wouldn’t fight back or even scream. If Kirishima wanted to sink his teeth into you, you would let him. 

“well- I think your wrist mole is kinda weird too,” you distracted him mostly to get his attention off of you. 

“I mean why not kiss your knuckles? that’s easier to reach then your wrist,” you pointed out he smiled 

“are you saying that you would rather kiss my fingers? good to know,” he teased, laughing even while you batted playfully at his chest

“that isn’t what I said and you know it,” you huffed you face burning with embarrassment.  you weren’t sure if you wanted to run away or stay and see how all of this sudden flirting played out. 

“then where would you kiss me?” he asked. for several long pauses before he filled the silence. 

“Personally, I’d go fo your ear, I’m sure you would make some pretty noises if I bit at the lobe, or ran the tip of my tongue over the shell,” his hot breath fanned over your neck and ear making you wonder if he was going to follow through on that fantasy. you couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m too tired to think, I’ll tell you in the morning.” you squeaked wriggling out of his embrace. He smiled the same warm smile that he always did. 

“Okay Sleep tight I’ll be waiting!” he said jovially. not at all the smooth purr he had been speaking in a second ago. It was like a switch had been flipped turning him from a dangerous predator back to the cheerful friend you were more accustomed too. 

It was only when you got back to your room when you realized that Kirishima’s scent was not only still surrounding you but actually emanating from you. you knew that he had probably scented you on accident but the action still made your knees weak. you fell on your bed, Kirishima’s scent getting caught on your pillow and sheets. you fell asleep quickly and dreamed of all the places you could kiss Kirishima. His jaw, His Addams apple. His wrist.

You woke up refreshed and almost buzzing. you hadn’t been this excited to get up for school in a long time. on one hand, you couldn’t wait to see Kirishima and tell him that you had decided on his neck as the place to kiss. On the other hand, you had no idea how you were going to force those words out. Still, His scent that clung to your hair and skin gave you a little more self-confidence. like maybe this one-sided romance wasn’t so one-sided and an Alpha like him had really fallen in love with a Beta. 

you made your way down to the kitchen all but skipping when you saw a familiar head of red hair. He must have just woken up, his hair was around his shoulders instead of up in the usual spikes. perfect, he would be off guard and be extra embarrassed when you reminded him of last night's events.  you started to sneak up on him when you saw who he was talking to. Mina was looking at him through low lashes. you froze in your tracks and listened closely.

“So your rut is soon isn’t it?” she asked trying to sound casual but still coming off as flirty. 

“Yeah too soon I’m going to have to miss class tomorrow,” he complained through a yawn.

“well if you need help just let me know okay?” she offered and your heart sank. Mina was an Omega and closer with Kirishima than any other girl in class, you mentally kicked yourself for not seeing this coming. 

“ah, thanks, Mina but I think I’ll be fine on my own,” he rebuffed gently. she shrugged taking the rejection in stride

“If you change your mind you know where to reach me,” she giggled before leaving. your previous giddiness replaced with a sick hollow feeling. it all made sense. Kirishima wasn’t into you he was just close to his rut and was willing to get with anything with a pulse, you just happened to be too close at the wrong time. If you brought up the flirting he would probably just apologize for it. and why would he want you? when he had a beautiful omega like Mina throwing herself at him. you waited until Kirishima had his back turned and you speed past him, sure that if he caught your attention you would start crying. 

His warm scent still surrounded you although it wasn’t comforting anymore, just a reminder that Kirishima was just another Alpha who was a slave to his hormones and just another person who didn’t really love you. 

by popular demand a part two 

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Could you please do 10 (“You made... a nest... for us?”) where omegas Lance and Reader made a nest for them and their alphas, Keith and Allura? Kinda angsty because this takes place before Keith leaves to join the Blades of Marmora.

Lowkey nsfw, like soft smut. Also!! Request are open again :) feel free to send some in!

You and Lance had been MIA for 2 days. Keith and Allura had NO idea what you were doing. It was worrisome because he was leaving soon.

He already knew that his two omegas were upset about it- you'd taken it pretty hard though, going into a full on panic attack that only Lance could calm you down from. Maybe you were still mad- maybe you were going to ignore him until he left-

"Keith," Allura hummed, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You're overthinking again."

He looked up at his mate and sighed. "I'm worried. What if they hate me? What if she hates me?"

"She doesn't hate you, darling. We'd know. I promise you. They're probably just having some Omega time."

"So close to when I leave though?"

"Sometimes its urgent." She sat next to him. "I remember when I was a little girl, sometimes my mother would disappear for a few days with her omega friend. Sometimes, most times, they were planned, scheduled for when it wouldn't intervene with anything. But sometimes, after something stressful, she needed time- even if it intervened with something. It's not always a choice." She ran his fingers through his hair. He seemed to relax at that, his tense muscles loosen up, just a little. "So relax. Our mates don't hate you."

He nodded slightly. "Do you think I'll be able to see them before I go?"

"I'm sure you will." She placed a gentle kiss to his temple.

Allura had always been the stronger dynamic. At least when it came to social cues and calming mates down.

Shiro was the pack leader. Keith was his right hand man- he was stronger than her in that way. Physically and authoritatively. But he relied on her so much when it came to communicating, he wasn't entirely sure HOW to communicate. They balanced eachother out, with the two omegas, it was only more balanced.

You and Lance had been best friends- since the start of the garrison. And you'd both- without his knowledge, had been infatuated with him. He wish he would've known because he wouldn't have had a problem courting the two of them. And then space happened and you met Allura. The way your eyes lit up around her hurt him, it meant you were no longer interested in him, though that was far from the truth. But the more he thought about Allura the more he realized why you like her so much. And some how him courting Lance became Allura courting him and you, and you Attempting to court him and Lance- which ended in the four person pack he was in now. He wouldn't have it any other way.

He was so so happy, happier than he thinks he'd ever been. He was infatuated with his three mates and not having them was such a painful thought. It was killing him inside.

And when he told you and Lance about his mission, the fear that flooded your eyes hurt too. You panicked and after 10 minutes of him trying to calm you down (and failing) Lance had to step in. It made him feel like a shitty Alpha. Lance was worried, yeah, but he knew Keith would be fine. Lance spent a few hours consoling keith after that.

"Keith?" Lance questioned, kneeling down and leaning against him from behind. Keith's hand immediately moved to touch Lance's arm, leaning into him.

"Yeah babe?"

"Were you worried? You smell sour." He wrinkled his nose, kissing the Alphas cheek no less.

"A little bit."

Allura snorted. "Yeah, a little bit."

He sent her a glare, his face flushing when Lance laughed.

"Whatever, come one you two. We have something to show you."

"We?" Keith raised an eyebrow, looking from lance to Allura who shrugged.

"Yes we, now c'mon." He took their hands and led them down the hallway.

"Where are we going?"

"My room."

"Is that where you've been?"

"Yep. We've got a surprise for you."

"What is it?" Keith eagerly questioned.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if he told us." Allura smiled teasingly, enjoying Keith's whine.

Eventually they stopped in front of Lance's room. "Are you two ready?"

Keith's nerves set in again. He hesitantly nodded and Allura gently squeezed his shoulder in assurance.

Lance grinned and opened the door, tapping in, urging his Alphas to do the same.

They stepped in, taken aback by what they saw.

A nest.

The nest was huge, adorned in stolen articles of clothing or stuffed animals the Alphas had given. The there you sat in the middle, back to the door. It smelled sweeter than usual, you did. Keith internally groaned. Your heat was just around the corner, he'd forgotten all about it. They both had. Some Alphas they were.

"It's a beautiful nest," Allura hummed, smiling softly as she kissed Lance gently.

"We made it for all of us. It took us two days."

Keith's head snapped up. "Us?"

"Yeah, all of us. Isn't that right princess?" He looked over his shoulder to you.

You rubbed the back of your neck and nodded, clearly embarrassed with such a feat, terrified they'd hate it.

"You guys- you guys...made a nest...for us?" Keith's voice was shakey.

"We wanted to spend this heat with you," you mumbled, "before you leave."

We. We as in Lance AND you.

Leaving. He wrinkled his nose. He was leaving soon. Leaving all this behind. Lance's heat did always align with yours, but what usually happened, was that you went into heat which pushed Lance into his. The fact that both of his omegas were ready for him to finally help had him spinning.

"Are...are you sure?" He asked, eyes trailing you as you stood up, turning around to face them. You walked over, stepping over the blankets and wrapped your arms around his waist, burying your face in his chest.

"I missed you," you sniffed. "I'm sorry for panicking and then not coming to see you. I'm sure it didn't feel good."

He placed a hand on the back of your head, the other securing the small of your back. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "It's okay baby, don't worry about it. But are you positive that you want us with you two for heat? This'll be the first time,"

"Yeah, we're sure. We talked about it. As long as it's okay with you two...I mean not too long ago we were talking about mating- if you-" you paused, "if you two want to still do that, we'd be okay with it too."

Both Keith and Alluras stomachs did flips, their hearts sang with joy. They'd wanted to mate for sometime, theybwere just waiting for their Omegas to become comfortable with the idea and decide.

He lifted your head, cupping your cheeks and pressing his lips to yours. You leaned up into his touch, closing your eyes and taking him in.

Lance smiled, taking Alluras hand. He was happy they'd made up. Allura flashed him the told you so smile and Lance rolled his eyes.

The two of you finally pulled away, red and panting. "I'd be more than happy to spend heat with you." Keith whispered. "And even happier to mate."

You smiled, hugging him again before looking at Allura. Her soft smile made you melt.

"My queen," she kissed your nose, picking you up, twirling gently. "I'd love too." She pressed kisses to your cheek before kissing your lips.

She set you down. You took her hand and lead her into the nest. "Come on Alpha. I want to show you " your usual smile was back, your eyes sparkled again and for now you could forget that one of your Alphas was leaving.

She followed you in, smiling gently as she watched you point everything out.

"So that's where the jacket went," she teased, watching you flush.

"Ye-yeah- it smelled like you and it was soft."

"And that one too." It was Lance's turn to blush- he shoved Keith.

"Shut up! You have at least four of my shirts."

"I don't!"

"You do!"

"Shut up," he crossed his arms.

"Come here," Allura crooned, taking your hand while the other two argued. You happily obligated. She sat on the edge if the bed, pulling you so you stood between her legs. She hummed as her eyes scanned over your body. "Lean down, omega."

Her hands slid from where they sat on your hips, up your shirt as you leaned down, connecting your lips with hers. She rubbed circles into your side. You threaded your fingers through her thick white hair, relishing in the kiss. She ran her tongue across your bottom lip, humming again when your opened your mouth so her tongue could poke yours.

Her hands moved farther up your shirt and she pulled you so you sat snug, straddling her lap.

Then her hands moved down, cupping and gripping your ass, pulling your hips to grind hers. A small moan slipped past your lips and your eyelids fluttered.

"You're already so wet. We've been neglecting you, hmm?" Allura whispered, her voice thick. She was weak first you, just that noise had her throbbing.

Lance and Keith ceased their arguing, looking over with curious eyes. "Yes, you have." He said as a matter of factly.

"Oh?" Keith smiled, pulling him close. "Let's make it up to you then." He took Lance's chin in his hand and turned his head to look at you and Allura. You were grinding against her thigh, slick dripping down your legs through the thin shorts you had put on. Your face was red and your eyes were closed as she urged you on.

"Good girl," she whispered. "Get yourself off however you'd like, you're so good " she kissed the omegas neck.

"Look at her- all messy for her Alpha." Keith whispered. "Do you want that?"

Lance was red again, his stomach swirled and he felt the familiar warmth in his lower abdomen. "Yeah," he breathed. "I do."

"I want these off," Keith tapped his leg. Keith wanted his pants off.

"But she's got hers on," he whined.

"But its gonna feel a lot better for you if you're bear, riding my thigh, won't it."

Lance paused, the thought of keiths denim against his skin did sound good. He'd done it before, it always felt good. So Lance obliged. Discarding his pants.

Guess they were starting early.