#i learnt a lot and idk one of my group members got scolded pretty harshly today during a similar procedure that i did yesterday

[collecting--stardust]

So there's a patient with tracheostomy in the ward I worked at this week and he is in the cubicle that my friend and I were in charge of on Monday and Tuesday.

On Tuesday there was his daughter there and the patient is coughing up phlegm. Usually when the daughter is there she will do the suctioning herself. I haven't done suctioning yet so my friend tell me to ask the permission to do it since she already does it. And the daughter saw me hesitating and she asked if I want to do it so I did it. It turned out.. um not perfect so I was really sorry by the end of the procedure. She was really nice and all but I still feel kinda guilty since I kinda fucked up a bit.

The following days we rotate cubicles so I end up on the side rooms so I was not around that cubicle that much. And today my friend wants to try tracheostomy dressing so she asks me where the part to clean using the sterile swabs are since I did that procedure on Monday under the supervision of our clinical instructor. So we went to that patient so that I can point out the areas. The daughter is there and she asked me if I want to do suctioning again but I'm quite busy so I said no and just come by to look.

I found out later that apparently she never offered my other group members if they want to do suctioning on her father, including the one in charge on that cubicle after rotation. They said that she always do it herself and they need to look for other patients to do the procedures to achieve our target and it's just 😭😭😭😭

I feel so guilty and all after I did that procedure both to the patient and her since I was struggling so bad so for her to specifically offer me to do it again really means a lot hhh My imposter syndrome is really terrible and to receive such trust makes me feel so touched 😭😭😭😭

Maybe being a nursing student is not too bad in the end.