#i learned that one of the producers is a trans woman and honestly that's maybe the least surprising thing about this movie

[graff-aganda]

I keep thinking about this (and it's not exactly a high bar to reach or anything) but the way Biosphere handled the gender/sex stuff was like the perfect blend of in character for two middle aged cis dudes (from the story perspective) and also being mindful/aware/respectful of transgender people (from a more meta perspective, though somewhat in the story also) and it honestly just kind of impressed me.

[shiredded]

A white animation student’s take on Soul and POC cartoons

This got long but there’s lots of pretty pictures to go with it.

Hi, I’m Shire and I’m as white as a ripped-off Pegasus prancing on a stolen van. Feel free to add to my post, especially if you are poc. The next generation of animators needs your voice now more than ever.

My opinion doesn’t matter as much here because I’m not part of the people being represented. 

But I am part of the people to whom this film is marketed, and as the market, I think I should be Very Aware of what media does to me. 

And as the future of animation, I need to do something with what I know.

I am very white. I have blue eyes and long blond hair. I’ve seen countless protagonists, love interests, moms, and daughters that look like me. If I saw an animated character that looks like me turn into a creature for the majority of a movie, I would cheer. Bring it on! I have plenty of other representation that tells me I’m great just the way I am, and I don’t need to change to be likable. 

The moment Soul’s premise was released, many people of color expressed mistrust and disappointment on social media. Let me catch you up on the plot according to the new (march 2020) trailer. (It’s one of those dumb modern trailers that tells you the entire plot of the movie including the climax; so I recommend only watching half of it)

Our protagonist, Joe Gardner, has a rich (not in the monetary sense) and beautiful life. He has dreams! He wants to join a jazz band! So far his life looks, to me, comforting, amazing, heartfelt, and real. I’m excited to learn about his family and his music. 

Some Whoknowswhat happens, and he enters a dimension where everyone, himself included, is represented by glowing, blue, vaguely humanoid creatures. They’re adorable! But they sure as heck aren’t brown. The most common response seems to be dread at the idea of the brown human protagonist spending the majority of his screen time as a not-brown, not-human creature. 

The latest trailer definitely makes that look pretty darn true. He does spend most of the narrative - chronologically - as a blob. 

but

That isn’t the same as his screen time. 

From the look of the trailer, Joe and his not-yet-born-but-already-tired-of-life soul companion tour Joe’s story in all of its brown-skinned, human-shaped, life-loving glory. The movie is about life, not about magic beans that sing and dance about burping (though I won’t be surprised if that happens too.)

Basically! My conclusion is “it’s not as bad as it looked at first, and it looks like a wonderful story.”

but

That doesn’t mean it’s ok. 

Yes, Soul is probably going to be a really important and heartfelt story about life, the goods, the bads, the dreams, and the bonds. That story uses a fun medium to view that life; using bright, candy-bowl colors and a made-up world to draw kids in with their parents trailing behind. 

It’s a great story and there’s no reason to not create a black man for the lead role. There’s no reason not to give this story to people of color. It’s not a white story. This is great!

Except...

we’ve kind of

done this

a lot

The Book of Life and Coco also trade in their brown-skinned cast for a no-skinned cast, but I don’t know enough about Mexican culture to say those are bad and I haven't picked up on much pushback to those. There’s more nuance there, I think. 

I cut the above pics together to show how the entire ensemble changes along with the protagonist. We can lose entire casts of poc. Emperor's New Groove keeps its cast as mostly human so at least we have Pacha

And while the animals they interact with might be poc-coded, there’s nothing very special or affirming about “animals of color.” 

So, Soul.

Are we looking at the same thing here?

It’s no secret by now that this is an emerging pattern in animation. But not all poc-starring animated films have this same problem. We have Moana! With deuteragonists (basically co-protagonists) of color, heck yeah.

 Aladdin... Pocahontas... The respect those films have for their depicted culture is... an essay for another time. Mulan fits here too. the titular characters’ costars are either white, or blue, and/or straight up animals. But hey, they don’t turn into animals, and neither do the supporting cast/love interests.

Dreamworks’ Home (2015) is also worth mentioning as a poc-led film where the  deuteragonist is kind of a purple blob. But the thing I like a lot about Home is that it’s A Nice Story, where there’s no reason for the protagonist to not be poc, so she is poc. Spiderverse has a black lead with a white (or masked, or animal) supporting cast. But, spiderverse also has Miles’ dad, mom, uncle, and Penny Parker.

I’d like to see more of that.

And less of this

if you’re still having trouble seeing why this is a big deal, let’s try a little what-if scenario. 

This goes out to my fellow white girls (including LGBTA white girls, we are not immune to propaganda racism)

imagine for a second you live in a world where animation is dominated to the point of almost total saturation by protagonist after protagonist who are boys/men. You do get the occasional woman-led film, but maybe pretend that 30 to 40 percent of those films are like

(We’re pretending for a second that Queen Eleanor was the protagonist, because I couldn’t think of any animated movies where the white lady protagonist turns into and stays an animal for the majority of the film)

Or, white boys and men, how would you feel if your most popular and marketable representation was this?

Speaking of gender representation, binary trans and especially nonbinary trans people are hard pressed to find representation of who they are without the added twist of Lizard tails or horns and the hand-waving explanation of “this species doesn’t do gender” But again, that’s a different essay.

Let’s look at what we do have. In reality, we (white people) have so much representation that having a fun twist where we spend most of the movie seeing that person in glimpses between colorful, glittering felt characters that reflect our inner selves is ok. 

Wait, that aesthetic sounds kind of familiar...

But I digress. Inside Out was a successful and honestly helpful and important movie.  I have no doubt in my mind that Soul will meet and surpass it in quality and and in message. 

There is nothing wrong with turning your protagonist of color into an animal or blob for most of their own movie. 

But it’s part of a larger pattern, and that pattern tells people of color that their skin would be more fun if it was blue, or hairy, or slimy, or something. It’s fine to have films like that because heck yeah it would be fun to be a llama. But it’s also fun to not be a llama. It’s fun to be a human. It’s fun to be yourself. I don’t think children of color are told that enough. 

At least, not by mainstream studios. (The Breadwinner, produced by Cartoon Saloon)

It’s not like all these mainstream poc movies are the result of racist white producers who want us to equate people of color with animals. In fact, most of those movies these days have people of color very high up, as directors, writers, or at the very least, a pool of consultants of color.

These movies aren’t evil. They aren’t even that intrinsically racist (Pocahontas can go take a hike and rethink its life, but we knew that.) It’s that we need more than just the shape-shifting narratives of our non-white protagonists. 

It’s not like there isn’t an enormous pool of ideas, talent, visions and scripts already written and waiting to be produced. There is.

But they somehow don’t make it past the head executives, way above any creative team, who make the decisions, aiming not for top-of-the-line stories, but for the Bottom line of sales.

When Disney acquired Pixar, their main takeover was in the merchandising department. The main target for their merchandise are, honestly, white children.

So is it much of a surprise

that they are more often greenlighting things palatable for as many “discerning” mothers as possible?

I saw just as many Tiana dolls as frog toys on the front page of google, so don’t worry too much about The Princess And The Frog. Kids love her. But I didn’t find any human figures of Kenai from Brother Bear, except for dolls wearing a bear suit. 

So. What do I think of Soul? 

I think it’s going to be beautiful. I think it’s going to be a great movie.

But I also think people of color deserve more. 

Let’s take one more look at the top people who went into making this movie.

Of the six people listed here, five are white. Kemp Powers, one of the screenplay writers, is black. 

It’s cool to see women reaching power within the animation industry, but this post isn’t about us.

We need to replace the top execs and get more projects greenlit that send the message that african, asian, latinix, middle eastern, and every other non-white ethnicity is perfect and relatable as the humans they were meant to be. 

Disney is big enough that they can - and therefore should - take risks and produce movies that aren’t as “marketable” simply because art needs to be made. People need to be loved.

Come on, millennials and Gen Z. We can do better.

We Will do better.

TLDR: A lot of mainstream animation turns its protagonists of color into animals or other creatures. I (white) don’t think that’s a bad thing, except for the fact that we don’t get enough poc movies that AREN’T weird. Support Soul; it’s not going to be as bad as you think. It’s probably gonna be really good. Let’s make more good movies about people of color that stay PEOPLE of color.

[tracle0]

hello hey hi and a splendid saturday to you, I come bearing a question for the wip4 gang and that question is: what is each of their most significant memories? additionally, are there any memories they would jump at the chance to get rid of? ok bye please have an excellent day \o/ (and before you yell at me I'm going to sleep now I swear)

I’m glad that when you even LOOK at me you think ‘oh sleep time’ I am Pavlov and you are my dog and this metaphor is stupid I will answer your question now

I’m gonna... assume this is uhh pre-story question because I know for a fact that at least three characters would change their answer to at least one question if it was post-story. My house, my rules. 

Keaton’s most significant memory is p r o b a b l y the time when he was in year 12 (17), and he was called to the head of sixth form office. He’d been at this school since year 7 (11), and had realised he was trans in year 8 (12/13), and had then been fighting for the right to use his bathroom ever since. This had previously resulted in punishment. In year 10 (15), he made progress, being allowed to use the disabled bathroom, but he wanted the men's bathroom dammit. 

Anyway, called to head of sixth form, assumed it was related to that issue. Pessimistic about the whole ordeal. 

Turned out there was another student in like year 9 who had come out as trans as well, and the school had gone ‘UHHHHHHHHH LET’S DO BETTER THIS TIME’ so Keaton, being the only other trans student in this rural Norfolk school, was assigned as her... mentor??? I guess? 

He was half like ‘fuck y’all’ and half like ‘I will not let this young woman go through the same shit you all put me through, I will guard her like a HAWK’. He was still not allowed to use his bathroom, but he makes her fight a little easier; she’s allowed to use her bathroom in year 10, after he left. They still meet up every now and then for coffee. 

Memory to be rid of: First day on a Professional Set, he walked backwards whilst taking a tea order and fell into a bin. Terrible first impression. He still got jobs afterwards, but sometimes people will be like ‘oh yeah I’ve heard of you you’re the bin guy’ and he wants to punch them. 

This is getting long already I’m gonna put the rest under a cut

I know you’re here for Mika so I’ll go to them, most significant memory: probably his first pride? He didn’t intend to go to pride, but he was in the city on the day of pride and just walked past all these rainbows and flags and people being so open and proud and themselves. He was maybe fifteen, and had been having those fun Gender Feels that you try and hide at age fifteen, because you’re only fifteen and most people tell you you’re not old enough to know anything about yourself, yknow? 

Someone gave him a flyer at one point, and when he got back to his Ultra Christian Household, he hid it and would read through it some nights. When he had it memorised, he started to explore more about queerness online. He’s the guy who can tell you all about LGBT history due to this research. This was only done in the city on the library computers, where his trail couldn’t be tracked. It gave him some sort of start for labels, some sort of safe space, some sort of New Approach to everything he’d been feeling. 

Memory to be rid of: last day in Ultra Christian School. He was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school and it wasn’t awful until he was about fourteen, at which point he started to grow his hair. They told him to cut it constantly. He was punished for it. He kept the hair. 

It got bad but it wasn’t until he was about seventeen that it really buckled; first real notable psychotic episode. He told people, they were convinced it was some sort of possession, convinced he’d sinned, convinced of all these horrible things about him and drove him out until he could ‘act normally’ again. He did not go back. 

In all honesty, the second he turned 18, he took his savings from various dead grandparents and a part-time job, bought a second-hand (maybe third-hand) camper-van and left home. 

He goes back for Christmas only. 

Mooooving on, Lynne! Who I do not talk about enough; she’s also part of the documentary squad, and actually the reason the whole squad exists. Producer and director, she’s very cool okcoolthanks

Most significant memory: That one time she was thirteen and her parents had officially declared their divorce. She was living with her dad and it was really, really weird and she was not enjoying it. Divorce is a big deal to some families, and this family was one of them, and she was really unsure about her entire future. 

Cue Mika, young and mostly obedient, kicking down the door (not literally) and kidnapping her (again, not literally) to come pick blackberries with him (very literally). They stayed out until the sun went down in early Autumn. She forgot about the divorce for a small amount of time. They ended the day eating fish and chips straight from the paper whilst sitting in a tree and talking about nothing important at all. 

They made jam out of the blackberries the next day. It was gross. Both of them refused to admit it was gross. 

Memory to be rid of: She went camping one time with friends from school. Lynne is Muslim and so did not go to Catholic school with Mika, they just lived near each other, and so school friends went ‘hey we’re going camping you should come’ she did come. 

It was a mess. They were fifteen and determined to drink, and English peer pressure to drink is weird, so she did take some drink but didn’t drink it. Someone threw up on her tent and blamed it on her. No-one bought any food or water, the only thing she was able to drink was lemonade bought for mixing and that had ants in it within two hours. 

She woke up first and left them all there, then walked home because she was meant to be lift-sharing. It took an hour and a half. She preferred that to being in the car. 

That group wasn’t her only group of friends, but it was her main group, so things were awkward for a while. 

Moving on from Documentary Squad, Percival! Percy Percival who I wish I could call Percy because it’s so much easier to write. 

Significant memory: winning an art contest when he was like. Eleven. Really living the high-life, ol’ Percival. It was a city-wide contest, with various age categories. He was part of the 11-18 clump, which put him at a disadvantage, but he still won. As a reward, his art was replicated on a mural in one of the shopping malls in town, and he got some fancy vouchers for a fancy art shop in the city. 

Winning the art contest made him go ‘oh wait I’m actually good at this thing I really like doing I should learn how to do that more’ and you could barely pry him away from his sketchbook from that point on. 

Those vouchers were stored away until he was 14 and doing art GCSE, at which point he bought a nice sketchbook and oil paints. He’s now very good at oil painting. I hate him for being good at oil painting. Oil painting SUCKS. 

Memory to be rid of: I’m torn between three and they’re all similar so I’ll go for all of them. 

#1 - losing an eye to Abby’s experiments. You read the lil short story I think (I know I checked just now) - she’s a very kind and loving sister who sometimes moves his body parts around. One time, he lost an eye and went blind for a few weeks. He had nightmares about it for months. It was very painful.

#2 - losing a finger. To Abby’s experiments. It was the middle finger on his left hand and it didn’t go back into place quickly enough - now it’s always numb and discoloured. Good news is he’s right-handed and not a musician so no worries about losing dexterity on that hand. 

#3 - losing two ribs. To Abby’s experiments.  There’s a very clear trend here. She wanted to try moving things she couldn’t see around. She moved two ribs away. She decided it was more dangerous to put them back. Now they just have two of Percival’s ribs lying around. 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

On that note, final person, this is very long. Abby! She’s fun. Most significant memory;

okay the word ‘significant’ has caught me off-guard several times cause like wow how do you figure out significant memories for people. I don’t have just one, yknow? But I think I know one for her. 

She’s the eldest out of her and Percival and, for a while, people wanted her to set an example for him, which she tried to do, but she wasn’t good at what people wanted her to be good at. She’s good with people. She’s good at very specific parts of biology. She’s good at psychology. She’s not good at school and tests. 

So, when Percival started to beat the standards she set for him, her parents almost... egged competition on. Played favourites, compared the two siblings. Nobody really noticed what she could do, they only cared about what she struggled with. And the parents were rarely around to help out with what she was struggled with. So she struggled on and tried to keep her head high.

Cue a family wedding, she was snooping around the snack table at the reception and overheard her parents talking about her. And how they were almost disappointed in her. How they were annoyed that she couldn’t be more like Percival, honestly, what did they do wrong? 

She got bitter. She pretends she doesn’t care but she’s bitter, and with no parents around to lash out at, she lashes out at Percival, who isn’t even aware. Good times. Not good times. Significant times. 

Memory to be rid of: Honestly? Probably hearing her parents talking about her at the family wedding. It stings. 

A n y w a y this was extremely long I like going into detail with short stories, if you read this far then thank you I appreciate it I will give you a feather from my feather collection. Probably a swan feather. I have a lot of swan feathers. 

[windscattered]

An article from Ho-Oh’s Folk.com.

Ex-Chairman Comes Out As Bisexual - Exclusive Interview

⊳ Play video

(The logo of the site spins into view, stops for a few seconds, then bounces off to the corner of the screen, revealing two people sitting on armchairs.

One of them is the interviewer, an Asian trans woman and the other is the former chairman of the Galar League, Rose. The interviewer, Susan Liu, as the name card on the screen indicates, smiles brightly to the camera and begins to speak.)

Susan: Happy pride month, everyone! We here at Ho-Oh’s Folk continue our pride month coverage with exclusive interviews. Today are interviewing someone very special. Galar’s very own former chairman Jaideep Rose. Thank you for coming!

Rose: Thank you for having me.

(Rose is now speaking in a softer, less bombastic voice. His accent is also different from the Received Pronunciation and less posh.)

Susan: How are you?

Rose: I'm fine, thank you, how are you?

Susan: I'm fine too, thank you. So, mister Rose… I heard you had a big announcement a week ago.

Rose: Indeed.

Susan: You came out as bisexual on your Chattor.

(Rose smiles, a touch nervously, and straightens his tie.)

Rose: Yes. Yes I did.

Susan: How has the reception to that been?

Rose: It's… been surprisingly supportive. Of course, there’s been the occasional, uh, image. What do people call those again? Memes?

Susan: Memes, yeah.

Rose: Yes, yes. The occasional meme saying “gay people I respect” and a picture of, say, Burgh from Unova, then “gay people I don’t respect” and a picture of me. Which-

Susan: No way! 

Rose: Hah, yeah. Which, honestly? Fair enough, I guess. I’m not perfect, especially after all that… stuff during the League Finals.

Susan: It’s still a little cruel, though, isn’t it? You took this huge step that must have taken a ton of courage and people use that to make memes.

Rose: (shrugs) It is what it is. You learn to grow a thick skin once you get into the same position as me.

Susan: I bet. Speaking of getting into that position… Can we talk about your journey to this (she motions at Rose) openly bisexual Rose?

Rose: Absolutely.

Susan: How was it growing up for you? When did you realise yourself?

Rose: (takes a breath and leans back in his chair) Ah. Well. As a kid, I always had crushes on both boys and girls. It’s just been a fact that I’ve always been aware of. I never had a big aha- moment, so to speak.

Susan: Did your parents know about any of this?

Rose: (his smile shrinks) Well…

Susan: Oh, that’s not a good sign.

Rose: (chuckles darkly) Indeed. I… I don’t they ever knew or guessed, but I��� had some other habits that my father particular wasn’t too satisfied with.

Susan: (grimaces) Oh boy.

Rose: Mm-hmm. He made sure that he scared scared all… (he makes a motion with his hand) not adequately masculine mannerisms out of me. One time, he saw me holding one of my mother’s nail polish bottles. Holding.

Susan: Oh no...

Rose: I mean, to his defence, I was thinking to paint my nails, but, uh… you know. That idea was shot down pretty quickly. (laughs uncomfortably)

Susan: (grimaces) That’s awful. How about school? Were more accepting there?

Rose: Hmm. I wouldn’t know, I was pretty deep in the closet for pretty much all of my youth. I did get to experiment with, uh. Dating boys. But I was very shy growing up, so I didn’t do much. (laughs)

Susan: (sputters) Wait, you? Shy?

Rose: (laughs) Yes! I didn’t come out of the womb like (switches back to RP accent and bombastic voice) “Hello everybody!”.

Susan: (laughs) Yeah, fair. It’s a journey for everyone.

Rose: Indeed. I really started coming out of my shell after I enrolled into university and even more when I started Macro Cosmos.

Susan: But not out-

Rose: Not out of the closet, yes. (laughs) That’s for later. But, yes, I started consciously working to be less shy. While that did work, it also helped me to create this… mask for myself. When I became the chairman of the League and I was in the public eye even more than before, I… that mask became my image. I tried to become this perfect Average Galarian, I tried to hide and erase myself when I was doing interviews, opening and commentating.

Susan: That sounds rough.

Rose: (shrugs) It was, at times, but I thought, I still do think, that the Gym Challenge isn’t about me, it’s about the gym leaders and challengers. My job is to just make sure that the gyms work as they should, that the gym leaders don’t burn out. And, during the Gym Challenge, I just open the challenge, introduce the gym leaders and commentate on the finals. My thought process was that if I let any of me, my real self, to show in my public job, it would distract from the gym leaders, who are the real stars of the show. Does that make sense?

Susan: It does to me, yes.

Rose: Yes. So that, line of thought, that mask, became sort of a closet for me. And as time went on, I became more and more terrified of the backlash I’d get if I came out. So I just… didn’t.

Susan: Hmm. So what gave you the incentive to finally do it?

Rose: Well, uh. You might have heard of the little thing I did…

Susan: Mm. The thing where you tried to, what was it?

Rose: Recreate the Darkest Day.

Susan: Yes. I am familiar.

Rose: Yeah. So uh. That happened. So I thought, “well, my reputation can’t get any worse, so… what the hell!” (he makes a “tada” gesture with his hands) I don’t have to fear my reputation taking more damage than this.

Susan: Wouldn’t that mean that if you hadn’t done that… You wouldn’t have come out?

Rose: I… Maybe eventually. But it wouldn’t have happened for another… (he waves a hand) three, five years. Maybe more.

Susan: So maybe it’s better like this.

Rose: Definitely. Now I can go on a date with my boyfriend without having to worry about paparazzis outing me before I’m ready.

Susan: Mm, yes, the freedom.

Rose: Exactly! Last night, I was on a walk with him and he took my hand and I, uh… I did flinch, but I quickly remembered that I didn’t have to hide. I’ve taken the mask off and I don’t have to hide anymore. It’s amazing.

Susan: Right?!

Rose: Holding hands while walking is intoxicating. People should do that all the time. And to be able to do it openly and without fear…

Susan: It’s the best.

Rose: It truly is.

Susan: (glances offscreen) Our producer is motioning for me to wrap this up, but let’s get one more question in. What would you say to the Galarian kids and teenagers who are struggling with same issues as you?

Rose: Ooh, that’s a good one. Let’s see. (leans back in his seat) It might feel hard now, but hang in there. (he turns to speak directly to the camera) Even if your parents don’t accept you or know the real you, just grind your teeth and wait until you’re in a safer situation. It might not look like it, but better days are coming. Please hang in there.

Susan: (presses her hand to her chest and smiles) Aww. I would have loved to hear that when I was younger. Thank you for the interview, mister Rose.

Rose: (smiles) Thank you for having me.

Susan: (turns back to speak to the camera) Thank you for watching, don’t forget to like, subscribe and hit that bell button so you won’t miss any of our exclusive pride month interviews! Until next time, I’m Susan Liu from Ho-Oh’s Folk.com.

(video ends)

[lemonsknees]

Is the Bible clear on Homosexuality?

reposting this here cause apparently while i was off learning about the Bible my other account got flagged, go figure  ¯\_(’-’)_/¯

I have been attending a bible college for a year now. Why? Because I have a passion for the Lord and have an unhealthy desire to know all the things. Now I would have attended regardless but I had some ulterior goals in mind when I started attending. I wanted to know what caused people to be homophobic. I myself am bisexual (though at the moment i’m very firmly at the back of the closet like I’m hanging out with C. S. Lewis in Narnia rn).  So the school doesn’t know about this. But I also have close family member who is apart of the LGBT that had a large hand in raising me and the school does know about them. so when I question into things like this the other students and the teachers think it’s on the basis of concern for them.

Now I could go on about the homophobic behaviors I noticed during the year, in fact I have a copy in which I tried to go through it and it just took to long to try to go over exactly what they were getting wrong every time. so instead of doing that I’d like to go over something that people said repeatedly which got on my nerves and kill it.

“The bible has a very clear view of homosexuality and if a church accepts people of the LGBT it means that they aren’t a Biblically accurate church”

The Bible doesn’t actually discuss homosexuality often at all. People like to look at verses about marriage but the Biblical examples of marriage aren’t exactly meant to be the ‘ideal.’ The book which supposedly the best example of what marriage is supposed to be like, The song of Solomon, was written by a man with multiple wives.

The occasions where the bible does talk about homosexuality it isn’t talking about a loving relationship between two people the way we understand it today. I’ll be looking at three (fourish) places where its talked about.

Sodom: this is one most people don’t really get caught up on if they’ve actually read the story instead of just thinking they know what sodomy means (it actually means any form of sexual activity which isn’t meant to produce children not specifically homosexual) the story of Sodom and Gomorra is that two angels entered the city and found lodging in Lot’s house. After they’d entered the house however they had to struggle to keep the people of the city out of the house because they wanted to drag the men out and rape them. lot’s response is to offer up his two daughters to them instead (an example of how even the people the Bible roots for aren’t people who we are meant to model our lives after) the crowds don’t accept Lot’s offer and God ultimately decides to destroy the city. Now having read this is it safe to assume that God destroyed the city because the people there were gay? Or was it maybe because they tried to gangrape foreigners?

This isn’t even the last instance in which we see this. In judges there’s a story that is very similar to this. A man is visiting and stays in someone’s house, the people of the town descend on the house and demand to be allowed to rape this man. The man who owns the house instead offers them the visitors mistress. This time they accept the offer and the woman is raped to death. This story is an awful one to read, and the narrative treats it as such, a war is started over the death of this woman. Because of the parallels between this story and the one of Sodom and Gomorra and how no one ever sights this as a story against homosexuality but against rape and the mistreatment of foreigners I think it is safe and Biblical to assume that Sodom was destroyed for the sins of such, rape and mistreatment of foreigners.

Leviticus has a law specifically against a man sleeping with another man, this is easily dismissible as another law that was only applicable to the Jewish people, but let’s look at why this would have been in place. Culturally woman were seen as lower than men, to sleep with another man would be seen as him lowering his partner to the status of a woman. Sexual relationships were barred outside of marriage, marriages were arranged for the purpose of bringing children, thus two men had no chance of ever getting married, thus making it unlawful by default. A man would be likely be cheating on his wife to do so. A woman sleeping with another woman would be seen as ruining her value as a virgin in an arranged marriage or other wise she would be cheating on her husband.  

Now all this to say that what is being described here is a far way off from committed gay relationships that are seen today and that cultural views have a huge impact on things like this. A lot of these things can be said about other points against gay marriage but I will try to avoid repeating myself.

It is also worth noting that the church has historically not taken the other Levitical laws which fall into the same category as seriously as they’ve taken this one.

Lastly for this I’d like to discuss Paul’s comments on the subject. Again we need to look at the cultural meaning of what he is saying. A lot of it is the same as before but now Paul is talking to the Greeks, who have a different culture than the Jewish people.  Non Jewish people,(gentiles) were allowed into the church after the death and resurrection of Jesus. When this decision was made the church had a large debate on whether or not gentile converts had to follow Levitical law. The ultimate decision was that they didn’t, (again a point against the Levitical law against this) the laws which the gentiles were however to follow were the ten commandments, they were to follow laws against idolatry (such as not eating any meat that had been offered to idols or other gods) and that they were to avoid fornication, or sexual intercourse between people not married to each other (again a main point here is that gay marriage wasn’t a thing even conceived at that time

Now those of you who know your history will know that the romans and Greeks were pretty gay. Paul knew this too and came against this pretty harshly. Why? Because being gay is a sin? Maybe. Or maybe because people were sleeping with one another at temples as a form of worship to the Greek gods, or maybe because all gay sex was extramarital. Or maybe because the view of sexuality at the time wasn’t I fall in love with such and such type of people. Instead people, when a person slept with a person of the same gender saw it as that person being so lustful that they wanted to sleep with everyone.

There’s also the point that the apostles were convinced that the end was coming any day. Paul was working as quickly as he could under the assumption that the end could be any day, going so far as to tell people it was better to just not get married unless you absolutely needed to in order to avoid fornication. He didn’t exactly think he had time to fix the social climate beyond declaring the Lord and condemning those who continued to sleep with those they were not married to.

So can the argument be made from a Biblical perspective against gay marriage and homosexual relationships? I won’t say no. in fact I’ve met plenty of people in my life who have committed themselves to being single in order to avoid being in sin. And if a persons convictions lean to that view I’d honestly recommend the same. If you’re convinced something is wrong you shouldn’t do it. But if you don’t have that sense, I want you to know that the Bible is in fact not clear on this issue. I was watch a video an atheist made about why he became so. One of the reasons he listed was he realized  that if people are born gay that means being gay is the only sin that a person is born into. Don’t let this be the thing that destroys your faith. Don’t let the church be a stumbling block to Jesus. Don’t let them dismiss you in this way. The Bible isn’t clear on this. There are other arguments out there with as much biblical validity as the argument that it’s wrong. I’d recommend that a person prayerfully listen to both sides of this if they are looking for which is true. I obviously have a preference but you shouldn’t just accept what I say, instead please go and do your own research on the subject and find people who are respectful and willing to talk to you about this. if you wanna talk to me i’m definitely open to listening. (actually i’d be really excited that someone wanted to talk to me)

sorry that this is more an argument against homophobia than something like against Transphobia, i’ve sort of been hyper focusing on the subject,but if you’re trans and want some encouragement then i suggest you read Galatians 3:28!

i’m not on tumblr often anymore but my discord is  lemons knqueezies#6065 so feel free to talk to me there, or if you didn’t like this feel free to send me funny and clever insults to my character!

have a great day :D God Bless!

[darthwindows]

Why I Have Moved on From Hope

People will argue with me, people will say I am cynical. In fact, they have always said this. To be honest, it’s quite true. But I have always tried in any small way I can to help, to give more of myself to anyone and everyone else than I would ever imagine giving myself. I believe that if I help others when they struggle, maybe one day, when I have run out of gas when I truly cannot do anymore for me someone might help. Push good karma out to pull good karma back in. But also, I used to just like doing things to help others because it’s nice to help others.

Since 2016 my apathy has grown exponentially. And I’m not talking in November. I’m talking around May/June of 2016. One of the benefits of being a pessimist/realist is I’m right a lot or I’m pleasantly surprised. I knew once the DNC rigged the primary against Bernie and pushed Clinton on us we signed our death warrant. Not only in the United States but we condemned the entire planet to die in service of money. 

This goes beyond Bernie. I do not think he is our savior but he could have beat Trump, he could have stopped the two supreme court nominees. The 1 Trillion Dollar tax cut for the rich would have never happened. 

I knew these things would happen. I called it months before the election. Yet, I still went in and voted for Hillary because that was the best shot we had to avoid complete and utter destruction. It honestly wouldn’t have been much better in regards to climate change and war. But abortion probably wouldn’t be abolished, the Muslim and trans military bans would not have happened. It would have been more of the slow death of gradualism. 

But we’ll never know for sure.

My hope didn’t die then. But the first cracks really started to splinter.

I still volunteered. I still recycled. I still donated when I could. I cared about others regardless of help or care ever being afforded me. The Karma Scales would tip eventually when the going was tough for me. Being good was the right thing to do. It felt good to be good.

Then last October happened. 

Last October in 2018 three things simultaneously. I discovered all the heath problems I have had for 15 years were caused by a very difficult and invasive chronic illness that I will live with forever, I smoked weed for the first time, and the climate report for the year of 2017 was released.

I was going to live the rest of my life with issues that I did nothing to deserve. And we were all going to die in 12 years because the planet was dying and I am quite certain no one with power is going to do anything about it. 

Then I smoked weed and realized, none of it mattered.

All the years I had struggled with myself in all of my creative endevours didn’t matter. I was never going to make it. And even if I did, it didn’t matter. We’re all going to fry. Making any long term plans didn’t matter. Because the people in charge don’t care. Years of denying myself having fun and happiness, feeling guilty about not doing the work all were for nothing because nothing will come of it. One, because I’m not talented or smart enough anyway; I’m far too much of a fuck-up to do anything of actual value but two because even if I did it doesn’t fucking matter because the planet is destroyed. Something which I’ve suspected for close to a decade but having it confirmed was the final nail in the coffin. 

Nothing literally matters.

Fuck Karma.

So I have stopped caring about anyone that is not me. I’m not taking the time anymore. Fuck volunteering, fuck donating, fuck helping. Fuck reaching out. Fuck it all. Weed released me from my bonds. None of it is worth it. I’m going to live my life in pain on a planet that will eventually kill me anyway in a country that would rather see me dead because I propose no value as a sterile progressive woman. 

So fuck it.

For the remaining 12 years it’s all about me, me, me. If I don’t want to do it. I won’t. If I don’t want to see it. I won’t. Because fuck it. Why waste my time on others when no one ever wastes their time on me?

Call me negative. Call me rude. Call me awful. Call me heartless. But it’s time to take mine. I’m done waiting in line and playing nice and licking boots. 

I’m a dumb piece of shit who was never meant to get out of the trailer park in the first place. I will never be a successful media producer. I just won’t be. Those are the facts. So I’m just gonna give up. Ride this train into hell. 

Because none of it matters anyway.

I’m having a surgery on Tuesday that has the potential to improve my quality of life significantly. 

But I’ve been down this road before. Hope. And I’ve learned my lesson. I know better. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, get fucked.

Kisses,

April

[super-queer-hannibal-obsession]

The M/M Shipping Thing: Misogyny, the Male Gaze, and Feminist and Queer Representation

Follow up post to this one, here. Read this to see my thoughts on the importance of allowing women to see men through a lens where male sexuality is something to be celebrated, not feared. Seems like a lot of people can relate to this, and I just love talking about it so have some more of my thoughts.

First of all, it’s a numbers game…

Going off of this point by @colt-kun which I’ve copied and pasted here. This gives a great overview of a purely statistical analysis of why m/m ships are more common.  

“There’s also the sheer numbers to take into account.

Take the first Avengers movie as an example (because frankly its one of the few recent blockbusters with two female speaking roles). Two females, Black Widow and Maria. Then eight males, Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye, Hulk, Loki, Fury, Coulson.

Not counting polyships/selfships for ease of math, and using the characters cisgender identities bc that is what they are largely seen as (no disrespect meant to any trans/nb interpretations)

Possible f/m ships: 16 (35.5%) Possible f/f ships: 1 (2.2%) Possible m/m ships: 28 (62.2%)

That’s not even accounting for screentime, character chemistry, interaction times, etc. thats just the NUMBERS.

When there’s a large disparity in character gender then yeah, you’re going to see a heavy inclination to m/m ships because that’s really ALL THATS POSSIBLE. The fans have a natural desire for more story and romances, they want to world build and AU. We’ve done that since stories were first told.

So of COURSE you’re going to see a lot of women - of all sexual orientations - leaning towards m/m pairings because when there’s only potatoes at the buffet… you eat the potatoes. Think of all the shows an movies with only one female character in a cast of men. Is it really difficult to see WHY there’s a lot of m/m ships there?”

Mainstream media is male-centered and male-dominated.

Going beyond just the numbers the fact is that in the majority of popular films and TV shows many of the female characters aren’t well-rounded or on screen as much as most of the men. There is a tendency for women to be the secondary characters or maybe to have one main female character. This makes it hard to really relate to and invest in a lot of the female characters out there. Not that people don’t, but it’s not going to attract a huge following.

Take Supernatural (low hanging fruit I know) where even if there are a large number of women that appear throughout the series, there aren’t many that stick around(and let’s not even go there with all of the deaths and how sexist that is right now ha)or interact with each other in a way that would lead to a lot of shipping. Even in my lovely Hannibal fandom, the Marlana ship which people love and people write for just isn’t going to have as much of a following just based on the fact that they aren’t the main characters. And Marlana is a good example of a w/w ship where they aren’t objectified, don’t die, and still it’s a secondary focus. There obviously are some exceptions, but they are few and far between.

The Male Gaze:

Also, women (and any gender that isn’t cismale) are trained to see film through the male perspective. Film and TV is usually shot with the male gaze, so women learn to see through this lens. We grow up learning to empathize and put ourselves in the shoes of male protagonists because otherwise we would have very little media to enjoy. I think this is part of why it’s natural for women to ship m/m ships. I also think that shipping men and sexualizing them can be a subversion of the male gaze and is an empowering way to flip that script for many women.

We could go into a whole other discussion on internalized misogyny and patriarchal culture and why there are some not so great reasons women might gravitate towards m/m ships, but I think it’s important to see all the reasons why this is and to not demonize women for doing something that makes sense both statistically, sociologically, and psychologically, etc.

Men rarely have to put themselves in the shoes of women in film. So, I do feel like there is a difference between straight dudes watching lesbian porn and women who thoughtfully engage in a m/m ship. You can’t ignore the gender politics at play and how these factors interact. In an ideal world, people of all genders and sexualities could enjoy bodies without all the baggage of sexism and homophobia, but sadly that’s not our world.

This famous, awesome thread really sums it up:

Disclaimer:

I do think there are women who fetishize and act awful when it comes to m/m ships. (I also realize there are lots of other intersections at work in film such as race and class that I’m not really addressing.) Especially those who don’t do any of the emotional or intellectual work around the history of the queer community and who don’t engage in activism of that sort. Plus, if you are a straight woman who loves and supports gay male ships but you’re grossed out by queer women or you’re objectifying actual queer men in your life, it’s time to check yourself and stop that.

Homoerotic Subtext:

Also, women, and queer people across the board, have been trained to read subtextual clues like pros. Women are especially adept at reading into stories since they are so rarely represented in positive ways. Queer people do this, too. It makes sense that women, especially queer women, would pick up on interactions that have homoerotic subtext easily. And, since film is male dominated, it is much more likely the subtext will be between two men. Also, let’s just face it, the history of film is male centered and homo eroticism is a big part of it, and it’s usually about good looking white dudes. The LGBT community itself still has a long way to go in portraying and magnifying people of all genders and sexualities more equally.

The weight of the male gaze on queer women.

There’s also the problem of objectification. I like to write, read, and see fan art about w/w ships, but there’s always that weight of feeling like you’re objectifying women all over again and feeling unsure about it. Honestly, I think that many of us in fandom should probably do what we can to write more femslash and write original queer female characters, but there are a lot of reasons why these ships aren’t as popular as m/m ships. There’s a lot of baggage around portraying women and female sexuality. And lesbian sex is so objectified that it can be a minefield to navigate even when(once in a blue moon) a good f/f ship opportunity comes along. But, even with that, there are some thriving ships such as Korrasami and Clexa(oh look another queer woman is dead. This is why we can’t have nice things). Queer women do celebrate and create fandom around good w/w ships when we get the chance. 

Misogyny and Mocking Fandom:

Lastly, and I’ve read lots on this before so this is just my take, people tend to demonize fandom and m/m shipping because it is something that is driven by women, mainly made by women, and made mostly for other women (and nonbinary folks, too).

Even in the LGBT+ community, there is a lot of misogyny. Cis gay white men are the face of that movement, and they often don’t realize the sexism that is still alive and well in the community. It’s easy for people to laugh at, mock, and critique shipping because it is very much a space not created by men. I also think it’s easy for some privileged gay men to point out perceived injustice but not realize the sexism inherent in what they are saying.

Fandom is very much a place where women explore their sexuality and can enjoy seeing men being acted upon, not just being the actors. It’s no surprise that women are intrigued by the sexual politics of queer men given the messages about being penetrated and being acted on that women get all the time. Analyzing sexual dynamics through a m/m relationship makes a lot of sense psychologically as it isn’t tied to a male/female gender dynamic in the same way. I think it’s a very natural way for women to see sexuality , and things like dominance and submission, as a personal preference and the beauty and excitement of different ways of expressing sexuality.

People like to enjoy women’s work while also mocking it.

Also, I know many queer men who enjoy m/m smut, fan art, etc. from fandoms where I’m sure that 90 percent of the work is being produced by people who aren’t cisgay men, and are very likely people who identify as women. So, while I know that some queer men are cool with it and some aren’t cool with it, I think it’s important to keep in mind that many of them are benefiting and enjoying from the work that female driven fandom is creating.

In conclusion:

Once again, it’s important to not be a homophobic, fetishizing, clueless person. I see instances of problematic behavior and thinking among women who ship men together often, and it’s a problem and needs to be called out when it happens. But, for all that is holy, stop acting like all of these women are gross, homophobic fetishizers and look at all the reasons why m/m shipping is such a phenomenon. I always think being self-critical and analytical is important. It’s also good to listen to different perspectives because these are intersectional issues with valid discussions to be had.

Sorry this was so long. I really could go on and on, and this is what happens when I miss writing feminist/queer theory papers. ;)

[callmehawkeye]

Watched in 2019

Big Little Lies (Season 1): This is such a solid cast and story, albeit predictable. I loved it as a mini-series and do not understand why it needs a second season; but I’ll be watching regardless. 

Taylor Swift Reputation Stadium Tour (2018): IIIIIIIIIII don’t think this setting is the best for Taylor. I go back and forth on her as a person often, but dig over half her catalog. The big theatrical show doesn’t quite suit her particular stage presence. She is great when just talking to the crowd with her guitar or piano. Regardless, she was definitely having fun, it was entertaining enough, and it’s cool she put this up on Netflix so I don’t have to amputate a body part to afford a ticket.

If Beale Street Could Talk (2018): Without a doubt, this is perhaps the most genuine and fulfilling depiction of a (hetero) romantic love story put to film I’ve witnessed in recent memory. The actors and their chemistry were breathtaking. 

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018): Hands down the best Spider-Man movie to date. Soundtrack was perfection. Story was great. Characters were amazing. I want to protect Miles with my dying breath. Unique animation. Deservedly kicked Disney’s ass this award season.

Bumblebee (2018): Oddly endearing? Easily the best Transformers movie, and the only one I’ll recognize.

A Star is Born (2018): I’m sure I’d like this more if I weren’t a fan of the other 3. Lacked subtlety. Overhyped. It’s fine. The only best part was the rehab scene.

Fyre Fraud (2019): The Hulu documentary about the disastrous Fyre Festival. Superior of the two, in production and scope.

Abducted in Plain Sight (2017): WHAT. THE. FUCK. A must-see for true crime enthusiasts. 

Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes (2019): This is more or less the same thing if you have already spent a little more time on this case than the average person. Good content for first-timers.

Girlfriends Day (2017): A nice, fast watch to pass the time.

Fyre Festival (2019): The other Fyre Festival documentary. To me, the lesser because it is produced from people who were on the inside. Which you’d think, “Oh so then they’d know.” But their bias and attempts to scrub themselves from the narrative are obvious.

The Favourite (2018): This made my little queer heart so happy. Great characters. 

Everybody Knows (2019): A little on the nose in the mystery itself (just watch the actors in the background). But the performances were great. Loved the setting. Appropriate ending. Good job.

Isn’t It Romantic (2019): I loved this. I feel like I’ve written something exactly like this before. Very endearing and satisfying to watch.

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (2019): It felt a little long, unsatisfying at some parts and rushed. But it’s a great bookend to a great series.

They Shall Not Grow Old (2019): Very impressive filmmaking and editing. I loved learning how they accomplished it in the featurette at the end of the screening.

Arctic (2019): Now THIS is how you make a survival movie. 90 minutes. No romance. Brutal reality without becoming melodramatic. Mads Mikkelsen cast in the lead...

Don’t Knock Twice (2016): Pleh. I hated the pacing and editing. Called out the “twist” immediately as a joke because I didn’t expect this movie to be that nuanced (magic done without permission, even with the intent to be good, is bad magic).

Captain Marvel (2019): My god this was so much fun and rejuvenated my interest in the MCU. I’m absolutely dreading Endgame and not for the reasons you think.

Greta (2019): Great performances, absolutely tense, very creepy and fun.

1922 (2017): What a great fucking motif.

Climax (2019): This was quite the sit. A literal 90 minute bad LSD trip from an up-close perspective. God I hated it.

Michael Che Matters (2016): I’ve never seen a standup special start so strong and progressively get weaker like this before...

Us (2019): As I said on Twitter --  it seems to me primarily casual or non-horror fans think Us is the greatest horror film of all time and is going to rejuvenate or “save” the genre. Then primarily veteran fans think it’s weak and vague. I think both viewpoints are shortsighted and formed from either category being stuck in their perspectives. For me, the movie was neither. (I loved it).

The Beach Bum (2019): Another movie I can’t believe I sat all the way through.

Leaving Neverland (2019): I stand with Wade and James.

Queer Eye (Season 3): Who needs antidepressants? Not me!

Homecoming: A Film By Beyoncé (2019): Beychella reigns once again!!

Dancing Queen (Season 1): This was very sweet. I never thought I could sit through anything with insufferable dance moms, but Justin/Alyssa makes it so engaging and watchable. Stupid to end on a cliffhanger, however.

Avengers: Endgame (2019): ..............B+ At least it was a million times better than Infinity War. And I had fun.

Booksmart (2019): This hit so close to home. Sure, the coming of age movie is nothing new. But there was something liberating about the characters in this one that were terribly stereotypical and much more relatable. To me, anyway.

Long Shot (2019): Great music, great relationship, great laughs. This was a fun, solid watch of a romcom.

Hail Satan? (2019): I want to inject this documentary directly into my veins.

Amazing Grace (2019): The live footage of Aretha Franklin recording her Amazing Grace album at the church in Watts.

Meeting Gorbachev (2019): I got to see this documentary at a theater where Wener Herzog himself was hosting a Q&A and introduced this film. Maybe it made me more biased to liking it. But I honestly felt like I learned a lot.

Missing Link (2019): First movie of the year I didn’t complete/walked out of. I let it have an hour. First time I’ve ever been disappointed in Laika. I can’t believe it. It was so dull and I kept waiting for something to happen.

Little (2019): This was sweet. Issa Rae is dipped in gold. BUT it felt like there was an outline, not a script. Lots of dropped threads. And a weirdly out of place, glaring, punching-down trans joke??!

Tolkien (2019): Wow. I really liked this. Great pacing, shifting between time frames. Even better performances and relationships. Made me think of my own fellowship a lot. This is how biopics should be done.

The Biggest Little Farm (2019): WONDERFUL documentary covering the years of building up a sustainable farm from less than scratch.

The Hustle (2019): God, this was a long, humorless sit. At least Anne looked stunning.

The Sun is Also a Star (2019): This isn’t more realistic than romantic comedies, or teen love films. But it’s more enjoyable than most. The leads are great and have electric chemistry. New York is framed beautifully.

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019): I am blessed by this Keanu Reevessance.

Fleabag (Season 1): This is probably going to be the best thing I watch this year.

Fleabag (Season 2): Yup. Confirmed. Something very special would need to come along from June to December to change this mindset. I highly recommend this. Watch it. Go in blind. Watch it!!

Pavarotti (2019): I enjoy documentaries where I feel I really learn about the subject. Beautiful music, beautiful memories, beautiful life.

Rocketman (2019): I wish more biopics were like this. It was wonderful and such a grand time.

Lorena (2019): A deep dive into the Bobbitt case, including the woman herself. I have such empathy and love for Lorena. You should watch it and learn about the incident yourself.

The Last Man in San Francisco (2019): Go in blind. Don’t look it up. Just go. it’s the most beautiful film I’ve seen so far this year. I wish there were more male protagonists like this.

Toy Story 4 (2019): I was so skeptical. It more than exceeded my expectations. Just go in prepared to have your heart ripped in two.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019): They’re learning. Out of the newer films, this one has the less amount of people. Now make another film like this, only extend the monster fight scenes. Less. People.

Child’s Play (2019): This was fun. Not much more to say. More Aubrey in things!

Men in Black International (2019): Honestly, this was better than the second or third ones. I legitimately enjoyed myself. It was funny. The cast was charming. The otherworldly aliens were interesting. And I’m so proud of Les Twins.

Grace and Frankie (Season 5) :This is always a good time for me. I love watching this show when I want to take a break from more dedicated watches. I love these actresses with all my heart. June Diane Raphael is goals.

Midsommar (2019): This was such a fun aesthetic to watch. I was so uncomfortable throughout.

Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am (2019): Ugh, my hearrrrrtt.

Maiden (2019): Documentary about the first all-female crew who competed in the 1985-86 Whitbread Round the World Race. The woman next to me in the theater was the same age as the women featured in old footage and modern day talking head interviews -- and she was just sobbing by the end. Solidarity.

Frankenstein’s Monster’s Monster, Frankenstein (2019): 30 minutes well spent. Fucking hilarious.

Stranger Things (Season 3): God, what a fun season. I am still Steve.

Queer Eye (Season 4): I need 54 more seasons, kthx.

Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019): My absolute favorite battle sequence in a Marvel movie. Such a good time.

Hobbs & Shaw (2019): My first and last Fast movie. Goddamn I was so bored.

Bring the Soul: The Movie (2019): Wow, this was brutal. I get it wasn’t all of the footage, but they seemed to mostly focus on members being sick and injured and miserable. I didn’t understand the love for this movie when all it did was highlight how exhausted the boys are. I suppose it was meant to be inspiring, but I only felt bad for them. I just ranted about them needing a break and thank god they finally have one -- apt timing!

Burn the Stage: The Movie (2018): I went back to the earlier film with the hopes of... Higher hopes. And they were fulfilled. Such cute and uplifting footage.

Blinded by the Light (2019): God I love Springsteen. This movie is a great homage to his music. It’s not a straight-up musical, and that’s lovingly the point. Some things never change.

It: Chapter Two (2019): This was a slog compared to the first part. Much like the miniseries. Much like the book.

Parasite (2019): I, a college student with very little free time -- let alone free time to go to the movies -- saw this in theaters twice. I tried to go a third time but then finals happened. Go see it. Go see it blind. I'm not really doing end-year lists anymore but this is without a doubt my favorite film from 2019.

BTS World Tour: Love Yourself (2019): Most fun I've had in a theater in some time. I feel like I curled up into the tiniest ball at some point out of pure joy that couldn't be contained.

Frozen II (2019): This was quite plot-heavy for a sequel. I loved how many songs they were. It's an acceptable sequel. A lot of weak themes and choices, however, if you think about it for more than a few minutes. Overall delightful. 

Jojo Rabbit (2019): Speaking of delightful. Taika Waititi continues to be my favorite living writer-director. This is such a solid portrayal of Nazism without glorifying it. Always go the Mel Brooks route and make it a comedy; they can't turn it around and make the imagery propaganda. I have high hopes for Roman Griffin Davis and his future career.

Knives Out (2019): This was quite fun. I love a good mystery with a large ensemble cast like this. It didn't blow my mind of anything -- I saw every turn coming -- but that's just because I credit it to being such a lonely kid who read so many mystery novels.

2018 | 2017 | 2016 | 2015 | 2014

[writingwiththetranskids]

Anon: Matriarchy & Story Writing

“I have a bit of a problem with the story I am writing. This is something I had in my head since I was a kid (when I still believed the gender binary was a thing) and it started out as something pretty simple. Back then, it was something meant to empower women and so it was pretty clear to 12yo me and my 13yo friend (both afab) that only girl would be heirs. This is based on that a family only has one family heir, someone who continues the blood line which can only be continued through birth (I also still thought having kids is something every woman wants and pregnancy and birth is easy, I know better now). The family would be led by a woman and would include her children, siblings, etc. Later, I learned that people can be trans and that other genders exist. My problem is now that I don’t know how to make this work. All that I have tried has felt disgustingly transphobic to me (like using female and male, which would also leave intersex people out of it) or would not work (like saying ‘gender works differently there’ which doesn’t mean a lot when readers use the same words). The whole thing is not necessarily extremely plot relevant, but it is a big thing of the world I have built for years. I also don’t want to lose the whole women empowering thing. I am at a complete loss. Maybe you could help? I would rather not write it then write something transphobic, but this idea is something I have worked on for years and I would hate to have to scrap it. Thanks!”

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Hey, it's Sebastian Sean Crow! First, I wanted to apologize for any delay you've experienced in your question being answered. Also, since there were multiple asks sent in, I thought this format would be easier.

So, honestly, I think the story sounds cool. When I was younger, I had a similar story planned out (though it was more focused on a reversal of sexism and whatnot, I like "reversed world" things, but I digress). Honestly, I personally don't see it being too difficult to change to be less problematic, but again it doesn't look like much to change either. You can still keep it the way you had it, but include intersex, trans, and nonbinary women. You can leave out genders assigned at birth and if a woman produced heirs/bloodlines you can either leave out how or specifically state that having children isn't always a result of pregnancy, that things like adoption, surrogation, and a woman impregnating others are also options of producing children. That's all I can gather and that seemed to be the main concerns? If there's anything I've missed, let me know, and if the other mods or followers have some input, I'd love to hear it.

[viralhottopics]

29 People Describe What Sex With A Trans Person Feels Like

Found on AskReddit.

1. It’s basically like being with a cis dude with a very small dick.

My ex is a pre-bottom surgery trans man.

As the top commenter said, it’s basically like being with a cis dude with a very small dick. He has been on hormones for 8 years so his growth down there was pretty developed. We were able to have penetrative sex (I’m a woman, btw). Also he was pretty skilled in the whole sexual department, and I put that down to him being a woman before so he knew how to work female genitalia in a way that a cis man couldn’t.

Apart from the physical side, the emotional side can be pretty intense. A lot of pre-surgery trans people have issues around dysphoria during sex, and this stopped sex dead in its tracks a few times for us. He did not like being penetrated at all, which I didn’t realize at first because he was too shy to tell me. That was a bit awkward, and it made me feel like shit afterward.

Overall, even though he had female genitals, it was pretty much just like being with a cis guy physically. 10/10, would sleep with a trans dude again.

2. It is different because of different hardware, but still quite enjoyable.

I am in a relationship with a pre-op MtF girl. It is different because of different hardware, but still quite enjoyable. She cums from anal quite a bit, and I enjoy it as well. Mechanically, it would be very much like regular anal, but the emotional component and feelings behind it all is like any other relationship.

3. She was incredibly tight and we needed a lot of lube. But it was pretty great.

I was FWB with a woman who I actually started hooking up with pre-trans I guess? She had a penis when we met and we did everything anally for a few months. She finally got herself fixed and she was the happiest I’ve ever seen someone be in my whole life, it was a pretty nice experience. She took a few months (maybe close to a year) to recover. When we went to hook up again, she just had a vagina. It looked pretty normal, pretty cute. She was incredibly tight and we needed a lot of lube. But it was pretty great.

Honestly, it felt nice to look HR in the eyes while we fucked, not being able to do that totally removed a lot of the connection for me.

4. I have never been with a woman with such vaginal strength.

I’ve been seeing a guy (FTM) for over a year now. I am a bi guy(CIS).

He very much looks and smells like a guy. Very muscular as well.

So sex-wise for me, everything has been better. I have never been with a woman with such vaginal strength. Would be scary if it wasn’t such an awesome feeling. His natural lube does seem to be different. The same, but with a little more stickiness, then the few women I’ve had un-condomed sex with. Not that I’ve had enough to know how they all are.

I like to think the sex has been great because we are clicking well, not because of our genders. Kissing has been the biggest deal. I just love holding him and kissing him.

5. The lack of penis didn’t bother me, but the presence of a vagina was a bit startling.

It threw me off a bit, the lack of penis didn’t bother me, but the presence of a vagina was a bit startling. It was hard to get the sheer presence of it out of my mind for some reason. Super-hot and nice guy though. I definitely enjoyed myself, it was just a bit disarming, but not much was actually different (we mostly did anal, but I herp derped up in his snatch for a bit and it felt pretty good, but I was unaccustomed to the angles of view that vaginal sex leads to, it was novel and a bit strange).

6. The only issue was, she had pubic hair growing inside of her vagina.

Yes, I am a bi guy. I hooked up with a MtF, I just liked her style. She had had a lot of surgery, including a neo vagina. I wanted to try it. I’ll call her Molly, cuz that’s what she liked to do. I met her at a fetish club. She was hot, and she didn’t pass. There’s something that turns me on about non-passing MtF’s, it’s hard to explain. But the point is: I didnt expect her to pass, and she wasn’t trying to fool me. The neo-vagina didn’t pass either, but it sure did feel good. I would be down to do it again, if Molly hadn’t been so into drug culture, I would have. The only issue was, she had pubic hair growing inside of her vagina. Thick, coarse ones. I asked her about it, and it has something to do with the neo-vagina being constructed from testicle skin. There are pictures of this online. Anyway, I could feel the hair through the condom even, and I was worried about these vaginal pubic hairs causing condom breakage. And diseases, Molly was a lolly but she got around.

7. It was tight, it was soft, it was warm, it was very wet (because we used lube!), and it was sex with someone I was already mentally in love with.

I had a year+ relationship with a MtF post-op. We went from chatting at a bar, to playing (at a BDSM club), to fucking, in about a month and a half. Not entirely out of the norm I’d guess.

She said she’d started on hormones pretty late but also had a very delayed puberty so that sort of evened out, and then went to Thailand at 29. We met about 4 years after she had surgery. All that to say that she had slim hips, a slim bone structure, pretty much nothing pointed to born male appears female. Her vagina looked like a vagina. There’s enough variety in the world that I didn’t inspect it vigorously to determine how it came about. She had some small breasts that weren’t implants. Basically, I didn’t know.

Sex was great. We needed lube, but the only uncommon thing about that for me in many cases is that we needed it right at the start instead of first sometime in the middle. It was tight, it was soft, it was warm, it was very wet (because we used lube!), and it was sex with someone I was already mentally in love with. Also breasts. And my hand around her throat. A good time.

She told me she was trans, in a public place, a little while later. She was worried about what sort of reaction I might have to learning that. The whole you tricked me into fucking a dude now I’m going to kill you thing. But I just didn’t care. This is actually something I’ve thought about a lot since, and I wish she had told me ahead of time. I understand why she didn’t but it’s still something she kept me from having informed consent about. Since I didn’t care to begin with I haven’t stayed too worried about it.

Our relationship went really strongly for a bit over a year and we ended up breaking up over personality meshing issues. A regular old breakup. But even by the end the sex was still great.

8. The surgical scar from the vulva up was a distraction, as was the unusual hip-to-waist ratio.

The first minute was good, after that it was uncomfortable.

I’m a guy. This was at a sex club. I walked in on her (male-to-female) sitting on a bed with a younger guy who clearly couldn’t perform for whatever reason. So she was horny, I was horny, and we got it on immediately.

The room was dark, and she had kind of a strong chin, but I didn’t really think about it. She was on top, and held my arms down. I thought, Man, she’s strong. And not merely strong for a woman (of her size.)

But the vagina felt great. Naturally lubricated, better than those of some natural women I’ve been inside. However, the surgical scar from the vulva up was a distraction, as was the unusual hip-to-waist ratio.

My experience is probably unusual in that I had sex with her while getting acquainted. I don’t know whether the onus was on her to tell me she used to be a dude, or on me to notice it before plunging in. Either way, it wasn’t awful. I might repeat if I knew what to expect going in.

9. His fluids taste like cum and his parts all have a man’s smell and they’re all covered in hair.

My partner and I are both trans. I’m MtF and he’s FtM.

Most of it is about as different as sex is with any other partner. Everyone has their likes and dislikes, and you kind of fumble your way around to figuring out what works, and then do some more of that. He’s obsessed with my breasts and mauls them at every opportunity, when he nuzzles my neck or kisses me his beard scratches me up. He smells like a man, I smell like a woman. My skin is soft and his is hairy.

There’s lots of kissing and groping and laughing and talking and dreaming, and then our pants come off.

His dick is about the size of a pinky finger from the second knuckle. I can give him head just like any other guy, and he love it. His fluids taste like cum and his parts all have a man’s smell and they’re all covered in hair.

I still have a functioning strapless that gets joyfully ignored. It no longer produces emissions and I have multiple orgasms. I particularly enjoy having things put in my inguinal canal. It’s called muffing, and it feels really nice. It hits all of the important nerves and has enough space to fit a thumb. If you have testicles and aren’t on HRT, your testicles might get in the way.

Remember my guy’s size? Yup. It fits. Perfectly.

So yeah, it’s pretty normal, just a little different, and the pillow talk is way more interesting.

10. We both went from being horny and wanting something inside of us to wanting to grind on things instead.

My partner and I are both trans, and both Female to Male. Neither of us have bottom surgery-but that is more due to the lack of good surgeons/surgeries in my area than a lack of desire for it.

Hormones still do a lot to the clitoris. I think the thing that surprised us both was how quickly our clits grew. My partner’s does not stay tucked up in the skin anymore, and it freely hangs down a bit. I can actually give them head-like giving a blowjob to a very tiny penis.

Other than that, body smells are now a thing. Even after having a shower just that day, the body smells a lot different now than it did before. And everything is very hairy.

We’re both about 8 months into hormones right now, so I’m sure we still have a long way to go as far as changes go.

In comparison to a cis dudethe dick is just much smaller. Also, we both went from being horny and wanting something inside of us to wanting to grind on things instead. Humping makes so much more sense now, and it’s become so much more fun to just grind. Sometimes we prefer that to trying to even bother with penetration.

11. Having sex with a mtf transsexual was like having the best of both worlds: the looks and touch of a female but with a little surprise down below.

I (male) have had sex with a mtf escort. I was in Australia and had always been interested so I decided why not. Besides the fact that she was an escort it was actually a pretty enjoyable experience. Besides having a deeper voice and being a little taller than most females, she did not look any different than any other cis female. As for the sex, besides having a penis, it was surprisingly similar to sex with a cis female. It was actually a great experience because I was allowed to experiment with a few fantasies while still being turned on by her appearances. I don’t consider myself gay and would probably never have sex with a male but having sex with a mtf transsexual was like having the best of both worlds: the looks and touch of a female but with a little surprise down below

12. She has small A-cups and smells like a girl.

Im currently dating a trans woman. Its great. She hasn’t had bottom surgery because from what the doctors have told her there is only a 60% chance she will be able to achieve orgasm if she does. Her testes have withdrawn back up into her body and her penis has gotten smaller. She doesnt ejaculate. So basically she has a large clit and no vagina. There are the usual issues with anal penetration but being bisexual myself I know how to navigate these issues.

She has small A-cups and smells like a girl. She acts like the woman that she is. I really enjoy spending time with her, even out of the bedroom.

13. Her vagina was very much like any other woman’s though the labia were a bit smaller, in her case, and she had a less depth.

My (ex) girlfriend had transitioned six years before I met her, and completed her sexual reassignment surgery (SRS) two years prior. Before surgery the effects of estrogen combined with androgen (male hormone) blockers had transformed her breasts, hips, skin and hair and greatly affected her sex life, as well. Most MtF women eventually lose the function of their penis due to hormone treatments, and for many this is not a problem. Receiving penetrative anal sex became much more pleasurable after hormones for my gf, and she could orgasm that way alone. I am told this is a common side effect, though not every woman experiences hormone treatments the same way.

After SRS, my gf had an extended period of recovery where she slowly regained sexual feeling and the ability to enjoy vaginal sex. She told me it was like a training period where her body reconnected with her new vagina both physically and mentally. From my perspective having sex with her two year after the surgery, her vagina was very much like any other woman’s though the labia were a bit smaller, in her case, and she had a less depth. Genetic women can accommodate babies, after all, and their vaginas are remarkably stretchy.

Her vagina did not lubricate naturally and required plenty of lube for sex, but I am told that new SRS procedures can now use the body’s own secretion-producing tissue to simulate vaginal lubricant during arousal. All in all, she was very pleased and fulfilled that her body was now fully female in form and function and that translated into hot sex. When we were dating, she was coming very close (pun intended) to achieving orgasm from vaginal sex and I was of course eager to help her on that journey.

14. Honestly it was pretty hot.

A friend of mine is FTM and we sort of hooked up at a party. Honestly it was pretty hot. I’m male myself but I’ve never really cared about my partners gender or at least it doesn’t play much into whether or not I’m sexually interested in them. He preferred that I didn’t penetrate him so we just sort of grinded, made out, and rubbed each other off. I’d do it again.

15. Sex seems to work best as a tender, sensual affair with lots of nipple stimulation.

MTF here, plus I have a MTF partner. Neither of us have had surgery, though both of us experience significant dysphoria about our genitals. Money is the most significant hurdle to getting an orchiectomy or vaginoplasty.

Sex is difficult. We both are extra sensitive to each other’s needs; we have sex drives and enjoy the pleasure of the penis being stimulated while simultaneously getting sort of grossed out with our own body. Recently she was stimulating me, and I started crying, so sex stopped and she comforted me in my dysphoria. We talk a LOT about the dysphoria and any frustration we have. Sex seems to work best as a tender, sensual affair with lots of nipple stimulation. My own issues are exacerbated by a lot of guilt over sexuality that comes from growing up as a fundamental Christian.

16. I’m a whore, so the penis didn’t stop me from initiating sex after the first date.

Some background info: I am a cis woman, married to a mtf woman. I had never dated a trans person prior to her. I was a gold star lesbian. When we started dating, I knew she was trans because she stated so in her dating profile. We actually met in the real world but I had seen her profile and remembered her from it. The night we met, after it was obvious we hit it off, she disclosed her pre-op status. As I already knew, I was able to avoid any look of surprise, no matter how momentary. This, I found out, really put her at ease. Much respect to anyone that has something like this to disclose during early dating. It must be terrifying. Anyway, I’m a whore, so the penis didn’t stop me from initiating sex after the first date. I did have to admit I had no idea how to work with a penis, but we are both very open sexually, so we were able to talk through it (and our kinks) in a fluid manner. The sex was great. Standard p in v stuff, oral (both ways), some choking. You know, normal. Though she needed a lot of stimulation to orgasm, and it didn’t always happen. I remember being extremely impressed that first time that she was so accepting of her current situation (no bottom or top surgery, and small breasts from hormones). She ended up getting her SRS (Satterwhite) about two years into our relationship, after we got engaged. The results look good, and she is fully orgasmic. She’s had issues with healing, though, which are mostly from her not doing what she is supposed to do for upkeep. It’s killed our sex life, and has led to a lot of resentment on her end. Some is mental issues I’m battling with, some is my not wanting to deal (during sex) with the occasional blood and malodorous discharge that comes from her not healing a surgical site properly. It’s just not arousing at all. She’s working right now with her OB to properly heal the neo-vagina, so I’m hopeful.

17. Couldn’t tell a difference.

I did in July or so from a OKCupid date/hookup. Four times in about a 24-hour period. I actually didn’t know til after though but I did think it was strange when she asked for lube like right away. I’ve had girls ask for lube before but usually its ones that are older or farther into relationship.

Anyways couldn’t tell a difference. A friend of mine went to high school with her when she still had a dick. She only went part of Freshman year then was home schooled. I thought my friend was bullshitting me but scanned the year book pic and told me to search her name on Topix and people talk about her having the surgery done. She also had very small boobs. Usually the voice is a red flag in videos but hers sounded feminine. She was only 20 so must have had it done early or started hormones early.

I didn’t see her again; she was a bit of a nutcase and clingy. Sex was good though. I already had decided not to meet up with her anymore before I found out about the sex change. I probably would have still hooked up with her if she told me but feel not telling me was uncool so just reaffirmed not talking to her anymore.

18. We have mostly vaginal sex, but it feels more like sleeping with a guy, like with a good bro.

Background: Im a Bi cis-gender male, my partner is a trans man (ftm). I met him over summer this year and he disclosed from the beginning that he was trans. The majority of my sexual experiences have been with female partners. I came out as bi to my family because of him.

We talked through text and phone calls before we met in person and he had told me about himself including sexuality and gender (gay trans man for reference.) The way he described himself I would have guessed his feminine features might be more apparent, and that he may have trouble with being misgendered. To my surprise upon first meeting him, besides the lack of beard, that made him look a little younger than his age, he seemed like any other gay guy. We hit it off after meeting and started dating.

As for sex, since the options for bottom surgery arent that great, he isnt planning on it and has come to terms with that. Before we started dating, I thought I had a high sex drive, but since we started living together I just cant keep up. Weve talked about it a lot and I understand his needs (for the most part) and he understands my libido isnt quite is high as his.

So, with that said, I feel like our sex is far closer to gay sex and is fundamentally different in practice than the sex with all of my previous female partners. Oral sex is easier due to his clit being closer to a small penis, sensations like sucking, nibbling, more and harder pressure tend to be much more pleasurable. Even during vaginal intercourse, it feels much more like topping a guy, hair/stubble rub against me, his low moans are in a stark contrast to the female tone. We have mostly vaginal sex, but it feels more like sleeping with a guy, like with a good bro. There are only subtleties of his previous identity. I dont plan on sharing those because I would rather be the only one who knows. Otherwise he is rather masculine, slightly timid face, normal proportions for his shorter stature, most of the time he wears briefs and binds. So, looking at him on a typical day at school/work most people easily see a male. He has a normal male odor and uses masculine deodorant and wash. He began shaving his genitals at my request, but hes hairy in the rest of the normal places for a guy.

As our relationship is young, we havent ventured into too many unknowns, but plans for the future include pegging because, well, I cant have all the fun. Thats one of the perks of a relationship with a trans person, because conversations about sexuality tend to come up early and more often. Kinks and sexual play feel more comfortable to discuss. This level of communication in my experience has been difficult to work towards in my prior relationships where sexuality wasnt brought up due to the status quo.

19. The clits engorge considerably, and are a ton of fun to play with, closer to a blowjob than cunnilingus.

Bisexual man here, I’ve dated/had sex with two pre-op transmen on T, one who started hormones while we were dating.

The clits engorge considerably, and are a ton of fun to play with, closer to a blowjob than cunnilingus.

Testosterone seems to interfere with vaginal wetness, so lube is important if he’s interested in that, and seemed to make him interested in sex more frequently but for a shorter session.

20. Such a great and unexpected experience, a whole different kind of sexy!

I had an awesome experience with a MtF girl, who had been on hormones for a while but still pre-op. Already had bigger boobs than me but still rather well-endowed downstairs. I am bisexual so am very much into both guys and girls anyway, but it was such a great and unexpected experience, a whole different kind of sexy!

21. If I’m horny she just plays with my dick and if she’s horny I just play with her breasts and her rather bubbly butt.

I have dated a (mtf) girl for about 3 years now. She told me early so I knew ahead of time it would probably end up being different but I went for it. It actually was a lot better than I thought! With the help of lube she was particularly wet and I was able to go in and get my business done. We don’t really even have sex that often. If I’m horny she just plays with my dick and if she’s horny I just play with her breasts and her rather bubbly butt. And yes, she looks like a perfectly normal female.

22. Super tight and small.

Super tight and small. Her size makes deep penetration hard and feels like a vise on my dick. She got it done by one of the best, paid all cash and went with the largest size available. I have had sex with women who are smaller, but over time their body seems to accommodate. Also the limits on the vagina seem to be a hard stop in my partner.

Overall the sex is amazing, even the intercourse, intercourse is a small part of great sex.

I love her and am so glad she is part of my life.

23. The parts down below felt totally normal.

Felt fine. The scar around his chest was interesting, where he had had his breasts reformed, but the parts down below felt totally normal.

24. It was mainly like masturbating but with two people involved.

Trans myself and bisexual, so far had sex with: a cis guy, a trans guy who had not transitioned at all yet, and a post-transition trans guy.

Sex with a pre-everything trans guy meant I was bottoming almost all the time and he didn’t like to be touched much. Not much to say aside from that, in general I quite liked it as we had similar sexual interests and that seems to be the main factor in whether I enjoy sex with someone, aside from emotional connection.

Sex with a post-transition trans guy is quite different, as firstly I can actually touch him and even occasionally top, and secondly his body is quite different. Even if the genitals are the same at the start, hormones significantly change how they work and look.

I could not have sex with a cis woman in the same way even simply for logistic reasons, a woman’s vagina does not exactly look and work like a post-transition trans man’s genitals. Without going into details, there are things that would just be downright impossible.

Sex with a cis guy is something I was very curious about and had expectations for, but ended up being very disappointing. I would guess mainly because there wasn’t much of an emotional build-up so it was mainly like masturbating but with two people involved and more awkward, and we weren’t very compatible sexually. Curiosity towards cis dick is a poor substitute for sexual chemistry.

25. It was about the same experience as being the top in your average gay sex.

Context: I am a cisgendered bisexual mid-20s male. I have been in sexual relationships with both cis men and cis women and feel perfectly comfortable with either. I have several transgender friends and have all the respect in the world for transgender people.

I was in a short-term casual relationship with a trans man (that is female-to-male) about two years ago that lasted only a month or so. We met on a dating site with the intention of drinking beer together and possibly having sex. I don’t remember who instigated the exchange but he ended up coming to my place. He had been on hormone replacement therapy for several years and had had top surgery. He was completely passing, i.e., you would not be able to tell he was transgender unless you were told, or saw him without clothes on.

Physically, the sex was pretty unremarkable. Being that I am bisexual and have had experience with both men and women I was not exposed to anything I was uncomfortable or unfamiliar with. I would say that oral sex was the same as going down on a woman (albeit quite a bit hairier than most cis women like to keep it) and otherwise it was about the same experience as being the top in your average gay sex. The strangest part about the whole thing for me was how I was maybe… overly sensitive about him being trans at first. Not wanting to ask any questions or offend, letting him take the lead, etc. He was quite comfortable with being trans, though, and after the first time we had sex, each time after that was the same as any other gay casual relationship. We would have continued seeing each other but he had plans to move across the country and we started seeing each other with the knowledge that it would be a short-lived fling.

I’ll answer any questions.

tl;dr-same as regular old gay sex once I stopped being overly sensitive about his trans status.

26. I’ve had anal and oral with both cis and trans women and it feels identical.

She didn’t dilate a lot so it was too tight to function in. I know it hurts girls, but it’s for your health, not just for sex.

Otherwise I’ve had anal and oral with both cis and trans women and it feels identical in that regard, and it wasn’t a problem.

My standards for women are nearly as high as my standards for myself, but what she was born with (hair color, metabolism, ethnicity, genitals, social class, etc.) don’t really factor into it. In that regard I’m extremely not picky. So I’ve had at this point almost equal share of sex with trans and cis women, and about 20% of my relationships were with trans women.

Men don’t do it for me though. Just not attracted.

27. He’d had top surgery and looked just like a guy, had body hair and a dripping wet pussy.

I hooked up with a FtM trans guy once, he wanted to wank me while I played with his clit. He’d had top surgery and looked just like a guy, had body hair and a dripping wet pussy. It was pretty cool, I’d definitely do it again.

28. My cock wouldn’t fit inside.

I tried sleeping with a trans lady once, my cock wouldn’t fit inside, apparently it was too soon after her op, so it compared pretty poorly.

29. It felt pretty okay.

I had a Male to Female. I’m a male. It felt pretty okay, the only problem I encountered was that it was noticeably wider and felt worse than the average vagina I encountered. And another problem was that we had to use lube, otherwise it was just almost impossible.

Read more: http://tcat.tc/2jffaiO

from 29 People Describe What Sex With A Trans Person Feels Like

[ecotone99]

[HM] A Girl Named Lucy

Everybody’s had a bad date. But my date with Lucy was definitely the worst date of my entire life. We met online, of course. I don’t think people meet any other way anymore. We really hit it off, she laughed at my dumb jokes and honestly, that’s pretty much all it takes for me to fall in love.

We decided to meet up for drinks and appetizers at Applebees. I was nervous, so I showed up early, had a drink at the bar and waited for her to arrive.

Meeting someone from the internet and finding out they’re significantly less attractive in person brings a uniquely guilty depression. It’s not that the person is necessarily unattractive, but in your mind, you’ve built up the anticipation for how you think the person will look. Expectation ruins reality. Usually this is just a result of normal people trying to look impressive. Which is understandable in the dating world.

But that’s the thing, when I saw her walk through the door, Lucy did not look normal. She looked very far from normal. Her face was too thin and her nose was entirely too big. Freakishly such. She probably knew this because the she covered it up with three or five or nine inches of chunky, pasty white makeup. It could have been Plaster of Paris, who’s to say? That shit was out of control.

She wore a giant green sweater, which in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing, but it was almost eighty degrees outside, even after the sun went down. At first, I thought this was to compensate for being overweight, but she didn’t seem overweight. She seemed deformed. Like two or three different skinny people squeezing themselves into the same sweater.

She had shredded blonde hair and walked with a wobbly limp, like an ether-sniffing marionette doll at a sobriety checkpoint. Her feet were disproportionally big, as if her shoes were hiding something nasty.

Oh, God. I can’t do this, I thought. This is just too much. But I feel bad, because the expectations were built up in MY head, right? I’ll just turn and sneak out the back, text her saying I had car trouble or something.

“Seth!?” She squawked. Or barked. It was a bark-squawk that was entirely too loud for the public, very unfortunately public situation at hand. Heads turned.

Ah, shit. She saw me. Of course she saw me. I’ve been staring her down slack-jawed and silly. But really, can you blame me? This poor woman looked like a rubber horse mask wearing another rubber mask of Gary Busey’s face.

“Seth! It is me. I am Lucy! The woman you speak to.” There’s no way she’s been using this voice her whole life.

My voice was too dry so I just nodded. We’re already here, might as well have a few drinks and enjoy the food. How bad could it be?

When my mouth finally began producing enough saliva necessary for conversation, we engaged in small-talk. I intentionally kept it awkward and as far from lively as possible. Maybe she’d catch the hint and we could just chalk it up to a lack of chemistry. I started dumping whiskey down my throat like my soul and sanity depended on it. Which, at this point, I was convinced it did.

“So, where are you from?” I asked, hoping another unknown cultural origin could explain this catastrophic misstep in acceptable courtship.

“Lucy is from Wisconsin. That’s normal, right?”

Jesus Christ, whatever they put in that cheese really did a number on this one. Remind me to never drink Budweiser again, either.

“I don-uh, I mean, yes, yes that is normal. Right. Have you ever been in like, a car accident or something?”

She stared at me with big sickly brown eyes. Eyes that were almost yellow. Maybe she has cancer or something? I’m starting to feel bad for her now. Maybe the whiskey is melting the shock and warming my mind to a temperate state of empathy. She’s alone. She doesn’t get out much. Kinda like me, actually. Don’t be a dick, dude. Get it together.

Then she laughs, it’s a coughy sort of laugh. It resonates from a deeper part of the diaphragm and I’m reminded of an alligator. Bet she used to smoke a lot.

“You make joke! You funny man!” She swipes her hand across my forearm the way women do when they’re being particularly obvious about their intentions. Her fingernails are long. Monstrously so, and badly painted in flecks of a dark red. Her skin is entirely too rough for a woman. Maybe she works with her hands a lot?

Oh. Oh, no.

I check the neck. I don’t actually see an Adam’s Apple, but the skin does protrude in a hangy sort of turkey-neck way. I begin to sweat uncontrollably.

Look, I don’t hate anyone. I believe everyone should live their lives and be happy. But I’m just not ready for this. I’m afraid. I feel like I’m waiting for the cashier in a gas station and a cop gets behind me in line. I compensate with more whiskey. That’ll help.

I have to ask. I can’t just not know.

“Look, Lucy. I’m sorry. But are you, like, are you a girl?”

There’s that laugh again.

“Yes! Lucy is girl. Real girl. Clever girl.”

Of course she is. Trans girls are girls, too. It’s just… I’ve already paid for the drinks, she seems very interested in me, persistent even. I just don’t know if I can do this.

Maybe just a blowjob? That’s not gay, right?

I’m gonna need some cocaine for this.

That’s it! Cocaine! I’ll see if she’s down to score some blow, then we’ll just see how it goes. Worst case scenario I get all coked up and can’t get a boner anyhow, sorta solves the whole situation. I can blame the coke, she doesn’t get her feelings hurt. Win-win.

“Hey Lucy….”

“Hey Seth.”

She does the cough/laugh. Maybe the hormones haven’t been balanced yet?

“You uh, you wanna score some coke?”

“What is ‘score coke’?”

“You know, like cocaine?”

“Cocaine? If we score cocaine, can I get your meat?”

Oh fuck. This is happening.

“My…my meat?”

“Yes. I want your meat inside me.”

Not gonna lie, my dick did a little twitch right then. Jesus. Well, I guess you learn something new every day, don’t ya?

“Okay! Um, I’m gonna pay the, uh, pay the tab. Why don’t you? Like, and I’ll then go to the car. Ya know, then we can like, you know. Wanna follow me while-“

“We ‘score coke’ like cocaine!”

“Yes.” I said. Fuck, I kinda like her now. I can get past the face. And the limpy, wabble-walk. And the…uh. Whatever else I find.

After I pay the bartender, we both walk back to my truck. I guess she took the bus or something because she never mentions a car of her own. I call up my buddy Allen, he usually has decent coke.

Allen says to come on over, I open the door for her, she does that little laugh again. It’s kinda growing on me, actually. I can’t believe this is happening.

As I’m driving, she starts purring and licking my ear. And I’m actually into it. Like, really into it. Once again, I can’t believe this is happening.

We pull up to Allen’s place, he sends me a text saying to come on up.

Allen opens the door and jumps back.

“Holy fuckin’ shit, Seth. Who the fuck is this? You told me it was just you, bro?”

“No I didn’t,” I said, “I told you a had a girl with me, Lucy this is Allen. Allen this is Lucy.”

“Hello, Allen.” Said Lucy, “Can I also have your meat inside me?”

“What the fuck?” Said Allen. Then he laughed, and I laughed, and Lucy laughed, we all laughed.

“You didn’t tell me it was like that. Why don’t you both just come on in?”

We all stepped inside and Allen clicked on the light. As he did, Lucy tripped over the doorframe. She didn’t fall all the way to the ground, but she fell just enough to cause her hair to tilt. Like, all of it just shifted to the side.

This caught Allen’s attention.

“Yo, that’s a fuckin’ wig, bro! The fuck is going on here?”

“Allen.” I said sternly, leaning in close to him. “Don’t fuck this up for me, man. I need this.”

But Allen wasn’t listening. Allen was recoiling in horror because he saw what I had been too drunk and horny to see all along.

While Lucy was fumbling with her wig and sliding around the foyer, her tail had slid out of her floppy green sweater. A tail that was long and scaly. Just as scaly as her scalp beneath the wig.

It was now painfully obvious. This was not a foreign woman. This was not a transsexual. This was a sixty-six million year old chicken-lizard stalking it’s prey from beyond the confines of the traditional understanding of time itself. And I, Seth Fox, horny drunkard and idiot extraordinaire, had fallen for it’s schemes.

Clever girl.

Allen screamed the only sensible thing to be said, “VELOCIRAPTOR!!!”

And we both dove behind the sofa for cover.

The Velociraptor Formally Known as Lucy shrieked, “MEEEAAAAAT!!!”

Why? Why me? Why couldn’t she have just had a penis!?

The Lucy-Raptor soars over the sofa with a dancer’s ease because she’s a theropod. An apex predator from the Cretaceous Period and I notice what made her gait so ungainly. Her shoes had been hiding a giant sickle-shaped talon on each foot with which her kinship would disembowel their prey. Unfortunately for Allen, he was this prey.

The Lucy-Raptor was on him instantly, she sliced open his belly with her toe-claws and his intestines flopped out like folded ravioli.

“Nnnnaaaauuuuuggggghhhh!!!!!” Said Allen as the Lucy Raptor chewed on his neck.

I had no patience for this nonsense, so I fled the scene hoping, praying, pleading with any deity merciful enough to hear my cries. I did not want to be eaten by a velociraptor tonight. I just wanted a blowjob. Is that really too much to ask from the universe? One measly fucking blowjob?

But the Lucy-Raptor wanted to feast on the flesh of living prey, and I was still fumbling with my keys when Allen had breathed his last. She came bouncing into the parking lot.

“CAAAUUUOOGGGHHH, CAAAUUUOOGGGHHH!!” Said Lucy.

The truck door clicked open.

Lucy reared back on her hind legs ready to pounce.

I yanked open the door and hurled myself into the driver’s seat, turned the key and started the engine as Lucy sailed through the air like a shark through calm seas.

Her claws barely missed my fender as I sped from my dead drug dealer’s parking lot.

I stomped the gas.

At 20 mph, there she was, nipping at my window.

I turned onto the street.

There she was.

30 mph. 35, 40 mph.

When I hit 55 mph she slowed down and wailed a roar of defeat. I had bested the Lucy-Raptor. Turns out velociraptors can run at speeds of up to 40 miles an hour. But a ’97 Dodge Ram can go up to like, 120 miles an hour, so FUCK YOU, VELOCIRAPTORS!!

Dating is hard, folks. But remember,

“Life finds a way.”

-Ian Malcolm

submitted by /u/sethfoxcomedy [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2t1qtp3

[demitgibbs]

Anna Paquin Talks ‘Tricky’ LGBTQ Representation, Understated Queer Roles

Enough with the labels: Anna Paquin just wants LGBTQ people to be people. As star and executive producer of Pop TV’s Flack, Paquin’s celeb-PR spin doctor, Robyn, fascinates because her hyper-controlling nature at work is in sharp contrast to her out-of-control family life. Robyn’s bisexuality is a mere footnote.

It’s 2019. This is the queer-is-human moment Anna Paquin has been waiting for. This explains why, though she plays a lesbian character, she appreciates that her love interest (Holliday Grainger) in her upcoming film Tell It to the Bees, out May 3, eludes any kind of fixed sexual identity.

Openly bisexual herself, Paquin came out in 2010 in a public service announcement for Cyndi Lauper’s Give a Damn campaign, dedicated to LGBTQ equality. At the time, she was portraying southern heroine Sookie Stackhouse on HBO’s vampire queerfest True Blood; she married her co-star, Stephen Moyer, that same year. (The couple has 6-year-old twins, Poppy and Charlie Moyer.)

But the 36-year-old actress’ precocious career in film and TV goes back decades to her childhood, when, at just 11 years old, she won the best-supporting actress Oscar for her portrayal of Flora McGrath in 1993’s The Piano. Cross-genre roles abounded: Fly Away Home (1996), She’s All That (1999), Almost Famous (2000) and three X-Men films. In 2017, Paquin starred as a detective investigating the disappearance and murder of a trans woman (Sadie O’Neil) on the short-lived drama series Bellevue.

Nearly 10 years later, Paquin still gives a damn – about inclusivity in her work, entertainment as a way to open close-minded minds, and actors who are forced out of the closet in the name of representation.

In Flack, there’s a gay scandal, a trans scandal and a lesbian sex tape, and that’s all within the first three episodes. I mean, this show was made with the LGBTQ community in mind, right?

I mean, not intentionally. It was just made more with, you know, the human race in mind. And that includes all of us (laughs). There’s humor and drama to be found in all of our communities, but, yes, there is definitely something to be had for our LGBTQ community in the world of Flack. Although a lot of people ask me if that was me, because obviously it’s important to me, but that was just always part of the fiber of the show in those episodes, and that was our writers. I wish I could take more credit for that, but I really can’t.

As an actress, are you drawn to stories that tell our stories?

Yes, but I’m also just drawn to really amazing writing, and I think especially when there are stories that are our stories but are also written in a beautiful and eloquent way, that, to me, is a twofer. I mean, I love the fact that Robyn being bisexual just kind of casually drops in; it’s not a thing because it shouldn’t be a thing. And I feel like so many movies and shows, if they have characters who are leading anything other than heteronormative lives, it’s made into a big deal. It really shouldn’t be and isn’t. So I do love that part of the show.

It sounds like you don’t think we’re at a place where LGBTQ characters can simply live within the fabric of the world, and maybe that’s because LGBTQ people can’t just yet either.

Are we? (Laughs) I mean, I think everyone has different experiences. I really think it depends what part of the country you’re in and what kind of community you grow up in. Look, I’m a non-American-born Canadian-Kiwi living in liberal California, so my experience of the world as a bisexual woman is probably incredibly different from someone who lives in – not to single anyone out in particular, but let’s say a less progressive state. So I feel like we still have a ways to go, but we’re obviously going in the right direction.

Where do you stand on the debate that exclusively LGBTQ actors should be playing LGBTQ roles?

In casting all the characters in this show it would never have occurred to us to look at anyone other than trans actors for trans roles. I frankly did not ask the actress who plays Robyn’s ex-girlfriend because I also don’t really think it’s any of my business. What’s tricky around some of that stuff is that, while I think representation of people within our community is incredibly important, I think it’s also putting a lot of pressure on people to come out in a public way that they may or may not be ready to do yet. I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to force people out of the closet, to be like, “Hey, you shouldn’t be playing this role because you’re not gay.” Well, what if that person is but isn’t comfortable coming out? Where does that leave us as far as representation, but also respecting people’s own timeline for their own lives and what they’re comfortable with? I think it’s incredibly complicated.

Was there pressure on you when you came out?

If there was, I certainly didn’t experience any. Everyone in my private life knew. It wasn’t a big deal. But also, things aren’t a big deal if you don’t make a big deal of them.

I’d like to note that your show Bellevue represented the trans community in a very real way. I know you really bonded on the set with actress Sadie O’Neil, who played a trans character.

What an awesome, smart, talented actress and writer and poet. She was incredibly patient with all of us who know less about her community asking quite specific questions as far as how we’re representing the community on the show. Because the script, you can do a good approximation, but if that’s not the life that you have lived then, obviously, you’re not gonna get all of it right. And being patient with the fact that we had taken a good stab at it, but then wanting to actually get it right, was something we were really very grateful for, and we obviously very much deferred to her on a lot of it.

In what ways was the show and being with Sadie on set a teaching moment for you?

It’s one thing to conceptually support all members of our rainbow community, it’s another thing to pretend that you know what somebody else’s life experience is like, and I don’t pretend to know things I don’t know. So, to me, getting more information is something that I just think you can’t have enough of. And the more you know, the more helpful you can be. It literally had never even occurred to me that feminism could exclude trans women. That, to me, just doesn’t make any sense, and that’s a huge deal and kind of blew my mind. You know, these kinds of conversations that end up casually happening because you’re working with them and getting to know them, it’s like, “Wow, I feel a bit embarrassed that I didn’t know that and I’m glad I know that now.”

Does it mean something to you that a role such as Robyn or your role as Dr. Jean in Tell It to the Bees is creating greater visibility for the LGBTQ community?

Absolutely … absolutely! Yes. I think that people learn about people they don’t understand through entertainment. That’s one of our most powerful tools for bringing people out of their own bubble and their own world, because if you see somebody depicted on screen you sort of are emotionally connected to that person and their story and their life, and maybe it can change people’s minds about how they sort of snap-judge other people and their sexual orientation or gender identity or whatever it may be. I think entertainment is a very powerful tool for that, so yeah, it’s very meaningful to me.

When were you first aware that entertainment had that kind of power?

Honestly, not really until I was a grown up because when I was a teenager just, you know, doing my thing and going to school, I wasn’t massively conscious of it. Becoming a parent I think also makes you more aware of that, the cause and effect when your kid watches something and repeats something back that you’re like, “We don’t speak like that.” You get to see a very tiny microcosm of what its effect is, just even on little humans, because they don’t know. But it’s all around us. That’s not to say that all entertainment that I do (laughs) can be watched by all people of all ages, because I do some stuff that is, obviously, very adult-oriented, but it has made me think about what kind of things I put out there into the world.

In Tell It to the Bees, you play your first explicitly queer character in film.

In a film, yes. But my character in (2017’s sci-fi anthology TV series) Electric Dreams was also a lesbian.

Why did it take so long?

It wasn’t really a conscious thing. A lot of times with choices it kind of depends on what material comes your way and when. I hadn’t happened to have a proper lesbian love story of any sort really come my way prior to that. I think I was probably somewhat obvious casting for that (laughs). But it’s a beautiful love story, it’s set in the 1950s in Scotland, my character is adopted, basically got outed as a teenager and left her community under quite traumatic circumstances. (She) falls in love with another outsider, a young mother in the community who is – we don’t ever really put a label on her sexuality, but it’s probably more on the bisexual-to-straight-but-falls-in-love-with-the-human. It’s about what they bring out in each other.

I’m surprised to hear that you haven’t been offered more queer film roles.

I was on a TV show for, like, the entire time surrounding (coming out), so I wasn’t really available to do anything else (laughs). And also, True Blood reps hard on the Pride front.

How aware were you of what True Blood was doing for the LGBTQ community at the time it aired?

Vampires coming out of the coffin: the metaphor was pretty specific! (Laughs) And also just the sexual fluidity of all the vampires. Obviously, we would have to have been living under a rock not to have felt the support and love from the community.

Do you hear from gay fans about Flack on Twitter?

In general, yes. Whenever I’ve done work that has any representation of our community, yes, I always end up hearing really cool, nice feedback from people who are appreciative of conversations being easier to have because they’re happening in the public eye.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/04/11/anna-paquin-talks-tricky-lgbtq-representation-understated-queer-roles/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/184109329145

[hotspotsmagazine]

Anna Paquin Talks ‘Tricky’ LGBTQ Representation, Understated Queer Roles

Enough with the labels: Anna Paquin just wants LGBTQ people to be people. As star and executive producer of Pop TV’s Flack, Paquin’s celeb-PR spin doctor, Robyn, fascinates because her hyper-controlling nature at work is in sharp contrast to her out-of-control family life. Robyn’s bisexuality is a mere footnote.

It’s 2019. This is the queer-is-human moment Anna Paquin has been waiting for. This explains why, though she plays a lesbian character, she appreciates that her love interest (Holliday Grainger) in her upcoming film Tell It to the Bees, out May 3, eludes any kind of fixed sexual identity.

Openly bisexual herself, Paquin came out in 2010 in a public service announcement for Cyndi Lauper’s Give a Damn campaign, dedicated to LGBTQ equality. At the time, she was portraying southern heroine Sookie Stackhouse on HBO’s vampire queerfest True Blood; she married her co-star, Stephen Moyer, that same year. (The couple has 6-year-old twins, Poppy and Charlie Moyer.)

But the 36-year-old actress’ precocious career in film and TV goes back decades to her childhood, when, at just 11 years old, she won the best-supporting actress Oscar for her portrayal of Flora McGrath in 1993’s The Piano. Cross-genre roles abounded: Fly Away Home (1996), She’s All That (1999), Almost Famous (2000) and three X-Men films. In 2017, Paquin starred as a detective investigating the disappearance and murder of a trans woman (Sadie O’Neil) on the short-lived drama series Bellevue.

Nearly 10 years later, Paquin still gives a damn – about inclusivity in her work, entertainment as a way to open close-minded minds, and actors who are forced out of the closet in the name of representation.

In Flack, there’s a gay scandal, a trans scandal and a lesbian sex tape, and that’s all within the first three episodes. I mean, this show was made with the LGBTQ community in mind, right?

I mean, not intentionally. It was just made more with, you know, the human race in mind. And that includes all of us (laughs). There’s humor and drama to be found in all of our communities, but, yes, there is definitely something to be had for our LGBTQ community in the world of Flack. Although a lot of people ask me if that was me, because obviously it’s important to me, but that was just always part of the fiber of the show in those episodes, and that was our writers. I wish I could take more credit for that, but I really can’t.

As an actress, are you drawn to stories that tell our stories?

Yes, but I’m also just drawn to really amazing writing, and I think especially when there are stories that are our stories but are also written in a beautiful and eloquent way, that, to me, is a twofer. I mean, I love the fact that Robyn being bisexual just kind of casually drops in; it’s not a thing because it shouldn’t be a thing. And I feel like so many movies and shows, if they have characters who are leading anything other than heteronormative lives, it’s made into a big deal. It really shouldn’t be and isn’t. So I do love that part of the show.

It sounds like you don’t think we’re at a place where LGBTQ characters can simply live within the fabric of the world, and maybe that’s because LGBTQ people can’t just yet either.

Are we? (Laughs) I mean, I think everyone has different experiences. I really think it depends what part of the country you’re in and what kind of community you grow up in. Look, I’m a non-American-born Canadian-Kiwi living in liberal California, so my experience of the world as a bisexual woman is probably incredibly different from someone who lives in – not to single anyone out in particular, but let’s say a less progressive state. So I feel like we still have a ways to go, but we’re obviously going in the right direction.

Where do you stand on the debate that exclusively LGBTQ actors should be playing LGBTQ roles?

In casting all the characters in this show it would never have occurred to us to look at anyone other than trans actors for trans roles. I frankly did not ask the actress who plays Robyn’s ex-girlfriend because I also don’t really think it’s any of my business. What’s tricky around some of that stuff is that, while I think representation of people within our community is incredibly important, I think it’s also putting a lot of pressure on people to come out in a public way that they may or may not be ready to do yet. I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to force people out of the closet, to be like, “Hey, you shouldn’t be playing this role because you’re not gay.” Well, what if that person is but isn’t comfortable coming out? Where does that leave us as far as representation, but also respecting people’s own timeline for their own lives and what they’re comfortable with? I think it’s incredibly complicated.

Was there pressure on you when you came out?

If there was, I certainly didn’t experience any. Everyone in my private life knew. It wasn’t a big deal. But also, things aren’t a big deal if you don’t make a big deal of them.

I’d like to note that your show Bellevue represented the trans community in a very real way. I know you really bonded on the set with actress Sadie O’Neil, who played a trans character.

What an awesome, smart, talented actress and writer and poet. She was incredibly patient with all of us who know less about her community asking quite specific questions as far as how we’re representing the community on the show. Because the script, you can do a good approximation, but if that’s not the life that you have lived then, obviously, you’re not gonna get all of it right. And being patient with the fact that we had taken a good stab at it, but then wanting to actually get it right, was something we were really very grateful for, and we obviously very much deferred to her on a lot of it.

In what ways was the show and being with Sadie on set a teaching moment for you?

It’s one thing to conceptually support all members of our rainbow community, it’s another thing to pretend that you know what somebody else’s life experience is like, and I don’t pretend to know things I don’t know. So, to me, getting more information is something that I just think you can’t have enough of. And the more you know, the more helpful you can be. It literally had never even occurred to me that feminism could exclude trans women. That, to me, just doesn’t make any sense, and that’s a huge deal and kind of blew my mind. You know, these kinds of conversations that end up casually happening because you’re working with them and getting to know them, it’s like, “Wow, I feel a bit embarrassed that I didn’t know that and I’m glad I know that now.”

Does it mean something to you that a role such as Robyn or your role as Dr. Jean in Tell It to the Bees is creating greater visibility for the LGBTQ community?

Absolutely … absolutely! Yes. I think that people learn about people they don’t understand through entertainment. That’s one of our most powerful tools for bringing people out of their own bubble and their own world, because if you see somebody depicted on screen you sort of are emotionally connected to that person and their story and their life, and maybe it can change people’s minds about how they sort of snap-judge other people and their sexual orientation or gender identity or whatever it may be. I think entertainment is a very powerful tool for that, so yeah, it’s very meaningful to me.

When were you first aware that entertainment had that kind of power?

Honestly, not really until I was a grown up because when I was a teenager just, you know, doing my thing and going to school, I wasn’t massively conscious of it. Becoming a parent I think also makes you more aware of that, the cause and effect when your kid watches something and repeats something back that you’re like, “We don’t speak like that.” You get to see a very tiny microcosm of what its effect is, just even on little humans, because they don’t know. But it’s all around us. That’s not to say that all entertainment that I do (laughs) can be watched by all people of all ages, because I do some stuff that is, obviously, very adult-oriented, but it has made me think about what kind of things I put out there into the world.

In Tell It to the Bees, you play your first explicitly queer character in film.

In a film, yes. But my character in (2017’s sci-fi anthology TV series) Electric Dreams was also a lesbian.

Why did it take so long?

It wasn’t really a conscious thing. A lot of times with choices it kind of depends on what material comes your way and when. I hadn’t happened to have a proper lesbian love story of any sort really come my way prior to that. I think I was probably somewhat obvious casting for that (laughs). But it’s a beautiful love story, it’s set in the 1950s in Scotland, my character is adopted, basically got outed as a teenager and left her community under quite traumatic circumstances. (She) falls in love with another outsider, a young mother in the community who is – we don’t ever really put a label on her sexuality, but it’s probably more on the bisexual-to-straight-but-falls-in-love-with-the-human. It’s about what they bring out in each other.

I’m surprised to hear that you haven’t been offered more queer film roles.

I was on a TV show for, like, the entire time surrounding (coming out), so I wasn’t really available to do anything else (laughs). And also, True Blood reps hard on the Pride front.

How aware were you of what True Blood was doing for the LGBTQ community at the time it aired?

Vampires coming out of the coffin: the metaphor was pretty specific! (Laughs) And also just the sexual fluidity of all the vampires. Obviously, we would have to have been living under a rock not to have felt the support and love from the community.

Do you hear from gay fans about Flack on Twitter?

In general, yes. Whenever I’ve done work that has any representation of our community, yes, I always end up hearing really cool, nice feedback from people who are appreciative of conversations being easier to have because they’re happening in the public eye.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/04/11/anna-paquin-talks-tricky-lgbtq-representation-understated-queer-roles/

[cynthiajayusa]

Anna Paquin Talks ‘Tricky’ LGBTQ Representation, Understated Queer Roles

Enough with the labels: Anna Paquin just wants LGBTQ people to be people. As star and executive producer of Pop TV’s Flack, Paquin’s celeb-PR spin doctor, Robyn, fascinates because her hyper-controlling nature at work is in sharp contrast to her out-of-control family life. Robyn’s bisexuality is a mere footnote.

It’s 2019. This is the queer-is-human moment Anna Paquin has been waiting for. This explains why, though she plays a lesbian character, she appreciates that her love interest (Holliday Grainger) in her upcoming film Tell It to the Bees, out May 3, eludes any kind of fixed sexual identity.

Openly bisexual herself, Paquin came out in 2010 in a public service announcement for Cyndi Lauper’s Give a Damn campaign, dedicated to LGBTQ equality. At the time, she was portraying southern heroine Sookie Stackhouse on HBO’s vampire queerfest True Blood; she married her co-star, Stephen Moyer, that same year. (The couple has 6-year-old twins, Poppy and Charlie Moyer.)

But the 36-year-old actress’ precocious career in film and TV goes back decades to her childhood, when, at just 11 years old, she won the best-supporting actress Oscar for her portrayal of Flora McGrath in 1993’s The Piano. Cross-genre roles abounded: Fly Away Home (1996), She’s All That (1999), Almost Famous (2000) and three X-Men films. In 2017, Paquin starred as a detective investigating the disappearance and murder of a trans woman (Sadie O’Neil) on the short-lived drama series Bellevue.

Nearly 10 years later, Paquin still gives a damn – about inclusivity in her work, entertainment as a way to open close-minded minds, and actors who are forced out of the closet in the name of representation.

In Flack, there’s a gay scandal, a trans scandal and a lesbian sex tape, and that’s all within the first three episodes. I mean, this show was made with the LGBTQ community in mind, right?

I mean, not intentionally. It was just made more with, you know, the human race in mind. And that includes all of us (laughs). There’s humor and drama to be found in all of our communities, but, yes, there is definitely something to be had for our LGBTQ community in the world of Flack. Although a lot of people ask me if that was me, because obviously it’s important to me, but that was just always part of the fiber of the show in those episodes, and that was our writers. I wish I could take more credit for that, but I really can’t.

As an actress, are you drawn to stories that tell our stories?

Yes, but I’m also just drawn to really amazing writing, and I think especially when there are stories that are our stories but are also written in a beautiful and eloquent way, that, to me, is a twofer. I mean, I love the fact that Robyn being bisexual just kind of casually drops in; it’s not a thing because it shouldn’t be a thing. And I feel like so many movies and shows, if they have characters who are leading anything other than heteronormative lives, it’s made into a big deal. It really shouldn’t be and isn’t. So I do love that part of the show.

It sounds like you don’t think we’re at a place where LGBTQ characters can simply live within the fabric of the world, and maybe that’s because LGBTQ people can’t just yet either.

Are we? (Laughs) I mean, I think everyone has different experiences. I really think it depends what part of the country you’re in and what kind of community you grow up in. Look, I’m a non-American-born Canadian-Kiwi living in liberal California, so my experience of the world as a bisexual woman is probably incredibly different from someone who lives in – not to single anyone out in particular, but let’s say a less progressive state. So I feel like we still have a ways to go, but we’re obviously going in the right direction.

Where do you stand on the debate that exclusively LGBTQ actors should be playing LGBTQ roles?

In casting all the characters in this show it would never have occurred to us to look at anyone other than trans actors for trans roles. I frankly did not ask the actress who plays Robyn’s ex-girlfriend because I also don’t really think it’s any of my business. What’s tricky around some of that stuff is that, while I think representation of people within our community is incredibly important, I think it’s also putting a lot of pressure on people to come out in a public way that they may or may not be ready to do yet. I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to force people out of the closet, to be like, “Hey, you shouldn’t be playing this role because you’re not gay.” Well, what if that person is but isn’t comfortable coming out? Where does that leave us as far as representation, but also respecting people’s own timeline for their own lives and what they’re comfortable with? I think it’s incredibly complicated.

Was there pressure on you when you came out?

If there was, I certainly didn’t experience any. Everyone in my private life knew. It wasn’t a big deal. But also, things aren’t a big deal if you don’t make a big deal of them.

I’d like to note that your show Bellevue represented the trans community in a very real way. I know you really bonded on the set with actress Sadie O’Neil, who played a trans character.

What an awesome, smart, talented actress and writer and poet. She was incredibly patient with all of us who know less about her community asking quite specific questions as far as how we’re representing the community on the show. Because the script, you can do a good approximation, but if that’s not the life that you have lived then, obviously, you’re not gonna get all of it right. And being patient with the fact that we had taken a good stab at it, but then wanting to actually get it right, was something we were really very grateful for, and we obviously very much deferred to her on a lot of it.

In what ways was the show and being with Sadie on set a teaching moment for you?

It’s one thing to conceptually support all members of our rainbow community, it’s another thing to pretend that you know what somebody else’s life experience is like, and I don’t pretend to know things I don’t know. So, to me, getting more information is something that I just think you can’t have enough of. And the more you know, the more helpful you can be. It literally had never even occurred to me that feminism could exclude trans women. That, to me, just doesn’t make any sense, and that’s a huge deal and kind of blew my mind. You know, these kinds of conversations that end up casually happening because you’re working with them and getting to know them, it’s like, “Wow, I feel a bit embarrassed that I didn’t know that and I’m glad I know that now.”

Does it mean something to you that a role such as Robyn or your role as Dr. Jean in Tell It to the Bees is creating greater visibility for the LGBTQ community?

Absolutely … absolutely! Yes. I think that people learn about people they don’t understand through entertainment. That’s one of our most powerful tools for bringing people out of their own bubble and their own world, because if you see somebody depicted on screen you sort of are emotionally connected to that person and their story and their life, and maybe it can change people’s minds about how they sort of snap-judge other people and their sexual orientation or gender identity or whatever it may be. I think entertainment is a very powerful tool for that, so yeah, it’s very meaningful to me.

When were you first aware that entertainment had that kind of power?

Honestly, not really until I was a grown up because when I was a teenager just, you know, doing my thing and going to school, I wasn’t massively conscious of it. Becoming a parent I think also makes you more aware of that, the cause and effect when your kid watches something and repeats something back that you’re like, “We don’t speak like that.” You get to see a very tiny microcosm of what its effect is, just even on little humans, because they don’t know. But it’s all around us. That’s not to say that all entertainment that I do (laughs) can be watched by all people of all ages, because I do some stuff that is, obviously, very adult-oriented, but it has made me think about what kind of things I put out there into the world.

In Tell It to the Bees, you play your first explicitly queer character in film.

In a film, yes. But my character in (2017’s sci-fi anthology TV series) Electric Dreams was also a lesbian.

Why did it take so long?

It wasn’t really a conscious thing. A lot of times with choices it kind of depends on what material comes your way and when. I hadn’t happened to have a proper lesbian love story of any sort really come my way prior to that. I think I was probably somewhat obvious casting for that (laughs). But it’s a beautiful love story, it’s set in the 1950s in Scotland, my character is adopted, basically got outed as a teenager and left her community under quite traumatic circumstances. (She) falls in love with another outsider, a young mother in the community who is – we don’t ever really put a label on her sexuality, but it’s probably more on the bisexual-to-straight-but-falls-in-love-with-the-human. It’s about what they bring out in each other.

I’m surprised to hear that you haven’t been offered more queer film roles.

I was on a TV show for, like, the entire time surrounding (coming out), so I wasn’t really available to do anything else (laughs). And also, True Blood reps hard on the Pride front.

How aware were you of what True Blood was doing for the LGBTQ community at the time it aired?

Vampires coming out of the coffin: the metaphor was pretty specific! (Laughs) And also just the sexual fluidity of all the vampires. Obviously, we would have to have been living under a rock not to have felt the support and love from the community.

Do you hear from gay fans about Flack on Twitter?

In general, yes. Whenever I’ve done work that has any representation of our community, yes, I always end up hearing really cool, nice feedback from people who are appreciative of conversations being easier to have because they’re happening in the public eye.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/04/11/anna-paquin-talks-tricky-lgbtq-representation-understated-queer-roles/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2019/04/anna-paquin-talks-tricky-lgbtq.html

[adambstingus]

29 People Describe What Sex With A Trans Person Feels Like

Found on AskReddit.

1. It’s basically like being with a cis dude with a very small dick.

My ex is a pre-bottom surgery trans man.

As the top commenter said, it’s basically like being with a cis dude with a very small dick. He has been on hormones for 8 years so his growth down there was pretty developed. We were able to have penetrative sex (I’m a woman, btw). Also he was pretty skilled in the whole sexual department, and I put that down to him being a woman before so he knew how to work female genitalia in a way that a cis man couldn’t.

Apart from the physical side, the emotional side can be pretty intense. A lot of pre-surgery trans people have issues around dysphoria during sex, and this stopped sex dead in its tracks a few times for us. He did not like being penetrated at all, which I didn’t realize at first because he was too shy to tell me. That was a bit awkward, and it made me feel like shit afterward.

Overall, even though he had female genitals, it was pretty much just like being with a cis guy physically. 10/10, would sleep with a trans dude again.

2. It is different because of different hardware, but still quite enjoyable.

I am in a relationship with a pre-op MtF girl. It is different because of different hardware, but still quite enjoyable. She cums from anal quite a bit, and I enjoy it as well. Mechanically, it would be very much like regular anal, but the emotional component and feelings behind it all is like any other relationship.

3. She was incredibly tight and we needed a lot of lube. But it was pretty great.

I was FWB with a woman who I actually started hooking up with pre-trans I guess? She had a penis when we met and we did everything anally for a few months. She finally got herself fixed and she was the happiest I’ve ever seen someone be in my whole life, it was a pretty nice experience. She took a few months (maybe close to a year) to recover. When we went to hook up again, she just had a vagina. It looked pretty normal, pretty cute. She was incredibly tight and we needed a lot of lube. But it was pretty great.

Honestly, it felt nice to look HR in the eyes while we fucked, not being able to do that totally removed a lot of the connection for me.

4. I have never been with a woman with such vaginal strength.

I’ve been seeing a guy (FTM) for over a year now. I am a bi guy(CIS).

He very much looks and smells like a guy. Very muscular as well.

So sex-wise for me, everything has been better. I have never been with a woman with such vaginal strength. Would be scary if it wasn’t such an awesome feeling. His natural lube does seem to be different. The same, but with a little more stickiness, then the few women I’ve had un-condomed sex with. Not that I’ve had enough to know how they all are.

I like to think the sex has been great because we are clicking well, not because of our genders. Kissing has been the biggest deal. I just love holding him and kissing him.

5. The lack of penis didn’t bother me, but the presence of a vagina was a bit startling.

It threw me off a bit, the lack of penis didn’t bother me, but the presence of a vagina was a bit startling. It was hard to get the sheer presence of it out of my mind for some reason. Super-hot and nice guy though. I definitely enjoyed myself, it was just a bit disarming, but not much was actually different (we mostly did anal, but I herp derped up in his snatch for a bit and it felt pretty good, but I was unaccustomed to the angles of view that vaginal sex leads to, it was novel and a bit strange).

6. The only issue was, she had pubic hair growing inside of her vagina.

Yes, I am a bi guy. I hooked up with a MtF, I just liked her style. She had had a lot of surgery, including a neo vagina. I wanted to try it. I’ll call her Molly, cuz that’s what she liked to do. I met her at a fetish club. She was hot, and she didn’t pass. There’s something that turns me on about non-passing MtF’s, it’s hard to explain. But the point is: I didnt expect her to pass, and she wasn’t trying to fool me. The neo-vagina didn’t pass either, but it sure did feel good. I would be down to do it again, if Molly hadn’t been so into drug culture, I would have. The only issue was, she had pubic hair growing inside of her vagina. Thick, coarse ones. I asked her about it, and it has something to do with the neo-vagina being constructed from testicle skin. There are pictures of this online. Anyway, I could feel the hair through the condom even, and I was worried about these vaginal pubic hairs causing condom breakage. And diseases, Molly was a lolly but she got around.

7. It was tight, it was soft, it was warm, it was very wet (because we used lube!), and it was sex with someone I was already mentally in love with.

I had a year+ relationship with a MtF post-op. We went from chatting at a bar, to playing (at a BDSM club), to fucking, in about a month and a half. Not entirely out of the norm I’d guess.

She said she’d started on hormones pretty late but also had a very delayed puberty so that sort of evened out, and then went to Thailand at 29. We met about 4 years after she had surgery. All that to say that she had slim hips, a slim bone structure, pretty much nothing pointed to born male appears female. Her vagina looked like a vagina. There’s enough variety in the world that I didn’t inspect it vigorously to determine how it came about. She had some small breasts that weren’t implants. Basically, I didn’t know.

Sex was great. We needed lube, but the only uncommon thing about that for me in many cases is that we needed it right at the start instead of first sometime in the middle. It was tight, it was soft, it was warm, it was very wet (because we used lube!), and it was sex with someone I was already mentally in love with. Also breasts. And my hand around her throat. A good time.

She told me she was trans, in a public place, a little while later. She was worried about what sort of reaction I might have to learning that. The whole you tricked me into fucking a dude now I’m going to kill you thing. But I just didn’t care. This is actually something I’ve thought about a lot since, and I wish she had told me ahead of time. I understand why she didn’t but it’s still something she kept me from having informed consent about. Since I didn’t care to begin with I haven’t stayed too worried about it.

Our relationship went really strongly for a bit over a year and we ended up breaking up over personality meshing issues. A regular old breakup. But even by the end the sex was still great.

8. The surgical scar from the vulva up was a distraction, as was the unusual hip-to-waist ratio.

The first minute was good, after that it was uncomfortable.

I’m a guy. This was at a sex club. I walked in on her (male-to-female) sitting on a bed with a younger guy who clearly couldn’t perform for whatever reason. So she was horny, I was horny, and we got it on immediately.

The room was dark, and she had kind of a strong chin, but I didn’t really think about it. She was on top, and held my arms down. I thought, Man, she’s strong. And not merely strong for a woman (of her size.)

But the vagina felt great. Naturally lubricated, better than those of some natural women I’ve been inside. However, the surgical scar from the vulva up was a distraction, as was the unusual hip-to-waist ratio.

My experience is probably unusual in that I had sex with her while getting acquainted. I don’t know whether the onus was on her to tell me she used to be a dude, or on me to notice it before plunging in. Either way, it wasn’t awful. I might repeat if I knew what to expect going in.

9. His fluids taste like cum and his parts all have a man’s smell and they’re all covered in hair.

My partner and I are both trans. I’m MtF and he’s FtM.

Most of it is about as different as sex is with any other partner. Everyone has their likes and dislikes, and you kind of fumble your way around to figuring out what works, and then do some more of that. He’s obsessed with my breasts and mauls them at every opportunity, when he nuzzles my neck or kisses me his beard scratches me up. He smells like a man, I smell like a woman. My skin is soft and his is hairy.

There’s lots of kissing and groping and laughing and talking and dreaming, and then our pants come off.

His dick is about the size of a pinky finger from the second knuckle. I can give him head just like any other guy, and he love it. His fluids taste like cum and his parts all have a man’s smell and they’re all covered in hair.

I still have a functioning strapless that gets joyfully ignored. It no longer produces emissions and I have multiple orgasms. I particularly enjoy having things put in my inguinal canal. It’s called muffing, and it feels really nice. It hits all of the important nerves and has enough space to fit a thumb. If you have testicles and aren’t on HRT, your testicles might get in the way.

Remember my guy’s size? Yup. It fits. Perfectly.

So yeah, it’s pretty normal, just a little different, and the pillow talk is way more interesting.

10. We both went from being horny and wanting something inside of us to wanting to grind on things instead.

My partner and I are both trans, and both Female to Male. Neither of us have bottom surgery-but that is more due to the lack of good surgeons/surgeries in my area than a lack of desire for it.

Hormones still do a lot to the clitoris. I think the thing that surprised us both was how quickly our clits grew. My partner’s does not stay tucked up in the skin anymore, and it freely hangs down a bit. I can actually give them head-like giving a blowjob to a very tiny penis.

Other than that, body smells are now a thing. Even after having a shower just that day, the body smells a lot different now than it did before. And everything is very hairy.

We’re both about 8 months into hormones right now, so I’m sure we still have a long way to go as far as changes go.

In comparison to a cis dudethe dick is just much smaller. Also, we both went from being horny and wanting something inside of us to wanting to grind on things instead. Humping makes so much more sense now, and it’s become so much more fun to just grind. Sometimes we prefer that to trying to even bother with penetration.

11. Having sex with a mtf transsexual was like having the best of both worlds: the looks and touch of a female but with a little surprise down below.

I (male) have had sex with a mtf escort. I was in Australia and had always been interested so I decided why not. Besides the fact that she was an escort it was actually a pretty enjoyable experience. Besides having a deeper voice and being a little taller than most females, she did not look any different than any other cis female. As for the sex, besides having a penis, it was surprisingly similar to sex with a cis female. It was actually a great experience because I was allowed to experiment with a few fantasies while still being turned on by her appearances. I don’t consider myself gay and would probably never have sex with a male but having sex with a mtf transsexual was like having the best of both worlds: the looks and touch of a female but with a little surprise down below

12. She has small A-cups and smells like a girl.

Im currently dating a trans woman. Its great. She hasn’t had bottom surgery because from what the doctors have told her there is only a 60% chance she will be able to achieve orgasm if she does. Her testes have withdrawn back up into her body and her penis has gotten smaller. She doesnt ejaculate. So basically she has a large clit and no vagina. There are the usual issues with anal penetration but being bisexual myself I know how to navigate these issues.

She has small A-cups and smells like a girl. She acts like the woman that she is. I really enjoy spending time with her, even out of the bedroom.

13. Her vagina was very much like any other woman’s though the labia were a bit smaller, in her case, and she had a less depth.

My (ex) girlfriend had transitioned six years before I met her, and completed her sexual reassignment surgery (SRS) two years prior. Before surgery the effects of estrogen combined with androgen (male hormone) blockers had transformed her breasts, hips, skin and hair and greatly affected her sex life, as well. Most MtF women eventually lose the function of their penis due to hormone treatments, and for many this is not a problem. Receiving penetrative anal sex became much more pleasurable after hormones for my gf, and she could orgasm that way alone. I am told this is a common side effect, though not every woman experiences hormone treatments the same way.

After SRS, my gf had an extended period of recovery where she slowly regained sexual feeling and the ability to enjoy vaginal sex. She told me it was like a training period where her body reconnected with her new vagina both physically and mentally. From my perspective having sex with her two year after the surgery, her vagina was very much like any other woman’s though the labia were a bit smaller, in her case, and she had a less depth. Genetic women can accommodate babies, after all, and their vaginas are remarkably stretchy.

Her vagina did not lubricate naturally and required plenty of lube for sex, but I am told that new SRS procedures can now use the body’s own secretion-producing tissue to simulate vaginal lubricant during arousal. All in all, she was very pleased and fulfilled that her body was now fully female in form and function and that translated into hot sex. When we were dating, she was coming very close (pun intended) to achieving orgasm from vaginal sex and I was of course eager to help her on that journey.

14. Honestly it was pretty hot.

A friend of mine is FTM and we sort of hooked up at a party. Honestly it was pretty hot. I’m male myself but I’ve never really cared about my partners gender or at least it doesn’t play much into whether or not I’m sexually interested in them. He preferred that I didn’t penetrate him so we just sort of grinded, made out, and rubbed each other off. I’d do it again.

15. Sex seems to work best as a tender, sensual affair with lots of nipple stimulation.

MTF here, plus I have a MTF partner. Neither of us have had surgery, though both of us experience significant dysphoria about our genitals. Money is the most significant hurdle to getting an orchiectomy or vaginoplasty.

Sex is difficult. We both are extra sensitive to each other’s needs; we have sex drives and enjoy the pleasure of the penis being stimulated while simultaneously getting sort of grossed out with our own body. Recently she was stimulating me, and I started crying, so sex stopped and she comforted me in my dysphoria. We talk a LOT about the dysphoria and any frustration we have. Sex seems to work best as a tender, sensual affair with lots of nipple stimulation. My own issues are exacerbated by a lot of guilt over sexuality that comes from growing up as a fundamental Christian.

16. I’m a whore, so the penis didn’t stop me from initiating sex after the first date.

Some background info: I am a cis woman, married to a mtf woman. I had never dated a trans person prior to her. I was a gold star lesbian. When we started dating, I knew she was trans because she stated so in her dating profile. We actually met in the real world but I had seen her profile and remembered her from it. The night we met, after it was obvious we hit it off, she disclosed her pre-op status. As I already knew, I was able to avoid any look of surprise, no matter how momentary. This, I found out, really put her at ease. Much respect to anyone that has something like this to disclose during early dating. It must be terrifying. Anyway, I’m a whore, so the penis didn’t stop me from initiating sex after the first date. I did have to admit I had no idea how to work with a penis, but we are both very open sexually, so we were able to talk through it (and our kinks) in a fluid manner. The sex was great. Standard p in v stuff, oral (both ways), some choking. You know, normal. Though she needed a lot of stimulation to orgasm, and it didn’t always happen. I remember being extremely impressed that first time that she was so accepting of her current situation (no bottom or top surgery, and small breasts from hormones). She ended up getting her SRS (Satterwhite) about two years into our relationship, after we got engaged. The results look good, and she is fully orgasmic. She’s had issues with healing, though, which are mostly from her not doing what she is supposed to do for upkeep. It’s killed our sex life, and has led to a lot of resentment on her end. Some is mental issues I’m battling with, some is my not wanting to deal (during sex) with the occasional blood and malodorous discharge that comes from her not healing a surgical site properly. It’s just not arousing at all. She’s working right now with her OB to properly heal the neo-vagina, so I’m hopeful.

17. Couldn’t tell a difference.

I did in July or so from a OKCupid date/hookup. Four times in about a 24-hour period. I actually didn’t know til after though but I did think it was strange when she asked for lube like right away. I’ve had girls ask for lube before but usually its ones that are older or farther into relationship.

Anyways couldn’t tell a difference. A friend of mine went to high school with her when she still had a dick. She only went part of Freshman year then was home schooled. I thought my friend was bullshitting me but scanned the year book pic and told me to search her name on Topix and people talk about her having the surgery done. She also had very small boobs. Usually the voice is a red flag in videos but hers sounded feminine. She was only 20 so must have had it done early or started hormones early.

I didn’t see her again; she was a bit of a nutcase and clingy. Sex was good though. I already had decided not to meet up with her anymore before I found out about the sex change. I probably would have still hooked up with her if she told me but feel not telling me was uncool so just reaffirmed not talking to her anymore.

18. We have mostly vaginal sex, but it feels more like sleeping with a guy, like with a good bro.

Background: Im a Bi cis-gender male, my partner is a trans man (ftm). I met him over summer this year and he disclosed from the beginning that he was trans. The majority of my sexual experiences have been with female partners. I came out as bi to my family because of him.

We talked through text and phone calls before we met in person and he had told me about himself including sexuality and gender (gay trans man for reference.) The way he described himself I would have guessed his feminine features might be more apparent, and that he may have trouble with being misgendered. To my surprise upon first meeting him, besides the lack of beard, that made him look a little younger than his age, he seemed like any other gay guy. We hit it off after meeting and started dating.

As for sex, since the options for bottom surgery arent that great, he isnt planning on it and has come to terms with that. Before we started dating, I thought I had a high sex drive, but since we started living together I just cant keep up. Weve talked about it a lot and I understand his needs (for the most part) and he understands my libido isnt quite is high as his.

So, with that said, I feel like our sex is far closer to gay sex and is fundamentally different in practice than the sex with all of my previous female partners. Oral sex is easier due to his clit being closer to a small penis, sensations like sucking, nibbling, more and harder pressure tend to be much more pleasurable. Even during vaginal intercourse, it feels much more like topping a guy, hair/stubble rub against me, his low moans are in a stark contrast to the female tone. We have mostly vaginal sex, but it feels more like sleeping with a guy, like with a good bro. There are only subtleties of his previous identity. I dont plan on sharing those because I would rather be the only one who knows. Otherwise he is rather masculine, slightly timid face, normal proportions for his shorter stature, most of the time he wears briefs and binds. So, looking at him on a typical day at school/work most people easily see a male. He has a normal male odor and uses masculine deodorant and wash. He began shaving his genitals at my request, but hes hairy in the rest of the normal places for a guy.

As our relationship is young, we havent ventured into too many unknowns, but plans for the future include pegging because, well, I cant have all the fun. Thats one of the perks of a relationship with a trans person, because conversations about sexuality tend to come up early and more often. Kinks and sexual play feel more comfortable to discuss. This level of communication in my experience has been difficult to work towards in my prior relationships where sexuality wasnt brought up due to the status quo.

19. The clits engorge considerably, and are a ton of fun to play with, closer to a blowjob than cunnilingus.

Bisexual man here, I’ve dated/had sex with two pre-op transmen on T, one who started hormones while we were dating.

The clits engorge considerably, and are a ton of fun to play with, closer to a blowjob than cunnilingus.

Testosterone seems to interfere with vaginal wetness, so lube is important if he’s interested in that, and seemed to make him interested in sex more frequently but for a shorter session.

20. Such a great and unexpected experience, a whole different kind of sexy!

I had an awesome experience with a MtF girl, who had been on hormones for a while but still pre-op. Already had bigger boobs than me but still rather well-endowed downstairs. I am bisexual so am very much into both guys and girls anyway, but it was such a great and unexpected experience, a whole different kind of sexy!

21. If I’m horny she just plays with my dick and if she’s horny I just play with her breasts and her rather bubbly butt.

I have dated a (mtf) girl for about 3 years now. She told me early so I knew ahead of time it would probably end up being different but I went for it. It actually was a lot better than I thought! With the help of lube she was particularly wet and I was able to go in and get my business done. We don’t really even have sex that often. If I’m horny she just plays with my dick and if she’s horny I just play with her breasts and her rather bubbly butt. And yes, she looks like a perfectly normal female.

22. Super tight and small.

Super tight and small. Her size makes deep penetration hard and feels like a vise on my dick. She got it done by one of the best, paid all cash and went with the largest size available. I have had sex with women who are smaller, but over time their body seems to accommodate. Also the limits on the vagina seem to be a hard stop in my partner.

Overall the sex is amazing, even the intercourse, intercourse is a small part of great sex.

I love her and am so glad she is part of my life.

23. The parts down below felt totally normal.

Felt fine. The scar around his chest was interesting, where he had had his breasts reformed, but the parts down below felt totally normal.

24. It was mainly like masturbating but with two people involved.

Trans myself and bisexual, so far had sex with: a cis guy, a trans guy who had not transitioned at all yet, and a post-transition trans guy.

Sex with a pre-everything trans guy meant I was bottoming almost all the time and he didn’t like to be touched much. Not much to say aside from that, in general I quite liked it as we had similar sexual interests and that seems to be the main factor in whether I enjoy sex with someone, aside from emotional connection.

Sex with a post-transition trans guy is quite different, as firstly I can actually touch him and even occasionally top, and secondly his body is quite different. Even if the genitals are the same at the start, hormones significantly change how they work and look.

I could not have sex with a cis woman in the same way even simply for logistic reasons, a woman’s vagina does not exactly look and work like a post-transition trans man’s genitals. Without going into details, there are things that would just be downright impossible.

Sex with a cis guy is something I was very curious about and had expectations for, but ended up being very disappointing. I would guess mainly because there wasn’t much of an emotional build-up so it was mainly like masturbating but with two people involved and more awkward, and we weren’t very compatible sexually. Curiosity towards cis dick is a poor substitute for sexual chemistry.

25. It was about the same experience as being the top in your average gay sex.

Context: I am a cisgendered bisexual mid-20s male. I have been in sexual relationships with both cis men and cis women and feel perfectly comfortable with either. I have several transgender friends and have all the respect in the world for transgender people.

I was in a short-term casual relationship with a trans man (that is female-to-male) about two years ago that lasted only a month or so. We met on a dating site with the intention of drinking beer together and possibly having sex. I don’t remember who instigated the exchange but he ended up coming to my place. He had been on hormone replacement therapy for several years and had had top surgery. He was completely passing, i.e., you would not be able to tell he was transgender unless you were told, or saw him without clothes on.

Physically, the sex was pretty unremarkable. Being that I am bisexual and have had experience with both men and women I was not exposed to anything I was uncomfortable or unfamiliar with. I would say that oral sex was the same as going down on a woman (albeit quite a bit hairier than most cis women like to keep it) and otherwise it was about the same experience as being the top in your average gay sex. The strangest part about the whole thing for me was how I was maybe… overly sensitive about him being trans at first. Not wanting to ask any questions or offend, letting him take the lead, etc. He was quite comfortable with being trans, though, and after the first time we had sex, each time after that was the same as any other gay casual relationship. We would have continued seeing each other but he had plans to move across the country and we started seeing each other with the knowledge that it would be a short-lived fling.

I’ll answer any questions.

tl;dr-same as regular old gay sex once I stopped being overly sensitive about his trans status.

26. I’ve had anal and oral with both cis and trans women and it feels identical.

She didn’t dilate a lot so it was too tight to function in. I know it hurts girls, but it’s for your health, not just for sex.

Otherwise I’ve had anal and oral with both cis and trans women and it feels identical in that regard, and it wasn’t a problem.

My standards for women are nearly as high as my standards for myself, but what she was born with (hair color, metabolism, ethnicity, genitals, social class, etc.) don’t really factor into it. In that regard I’m extremely not picky. So I’ve had at this point almost equal share of sex with trans and cis women, and about 20% of my relationships were with trans women.

Men don’t do it for me though. Just not attracted.

27. He’d had top surgery and looked just like a guy, had body hair and a dripping wet pussy.

I hooked up with a FtM trans guy once, he wanted to wank me while I played with his clit. He’d had top surgery and looked just like a guy, had body hair and a dripping wet pussy. It was pretty cool, I’d definitely do it again.

28. My cock wouldn’t fit inside.

I tried sleeping with a trans lady once, my cock wouldn’t fit inside, apparently it was too soon after her op, so it compared pretty poorly.

29. It felt pretty okay.

I had a Male to Female. I’m a male. It felt pretty okay, the only problem I encountered was that it was noticeably wider and felt worse than the average vagina I encountered. And another problem was that we had to use lube, otherwise it was just almost impossible.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/29-people-describe-what-sex-with-a-trans-person-feels-like/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/177223503667