#i knowwwww vans going to buy into the whole lottie thing and probably do some real fucked up shit but hey i do not care. vans my blorbo.

[homoerotvic]

van palmer. the goalie, the protector. sitting back, high alert, waiting for when her team needs her.

her way of helping is to protect, its to literally throw herself, her whole body, at whatever comes her way. this in soccer, but also in relationships. hurt me, dont hurt yourself - it doesnt matter if you try to bite my face off or if the ropes burn through my skin; you're sleeping safely. i'll never be afraid of you. you think i cant handle this?

also it says a lot about the dynamics of tai x van and tai x simone. i like both of these pairings, for very different reasons; i think tai x simone is definitely the healthier one, the safer one. the long marriage and a kid. i think 2x01 showed something very clearly by contrasting these two relationships when tai's partners find out about sleepwalking tai:

when simone realised something was up with tai ("i dont recognize you", "youre not the woman i married", but mainly finding the shrine) she did what any well-adjusted person would do and RAN tf away from that both for self protection and for the protection of their child (until Tai agreed to seek the therapy she urgently!!! needs). and no one can judge her for that, because lets be honest, what would you do after finding out your spouse made a shrine of your dog's severed head and heart in the basement? and doesnt even remember doing it?

meanwhile van's response can be seen as the opposite; she got closer, made it almost impossible to get ANY closer by tying herself up to tai, even after being hurt by her in that state (this isn't you, it's something that's happening to you... happening to us. i'll never be afraid of you.) i honestly think there's not much that tai could do that would make van run from her. if anything, it would only draw her closer, as a desire to protect tai from herself (or, as i think van will come to believe, from "it") at all costs. i think eventually tai could hurt van very badly (one more near death experience for our indestructible lesbian lol) and yet van would STILL not be afraid of her, tai would be the one to distance herself. and THATS where the mental illness lies babes xoxo