#i know this shit doesnt work like it does on insta but ive been out the loop a bit for what tags ppl r usin for stuff idfk

[dirtmunch]

when i get involved w peopel i always very quickly get the sense that the other person likes me a lot more than i like them which makes me feel so uneasy and uncomfortable and guilty, like im puttin on an act and trying not to get caught. but also like mad that theyre over interpreting how i interract w them and assuming its the same head over heelsness as theyre feeling, like theyr eputting words in my mouth :/ its not as if i dislike them at all, but i can tell they are way more invested in me than i am them :( i feel like im deficient in that sense and can never rlly feel true love or attraction like that wholesale like other ppl seem to be able to and ill never find true love bc of it ughhhhh.

but the one time i DO feel genine yearning and love and affection to someone its w a girl itll never happen w cuz she moved ;O; she was a grad student in print n me and a couple otehr print gworls got super close, but i graduated before them and i felt like they didnt give a shit about me after even tho i tried so hard to keep up the connection. she graduated in may n recently moved outta state fir work next i see shes made an insta post talking abt another girl in the group as her best friend n how grateful she was to have met her and im just like :’‘‘‘‘‘‘( so jealous and sad and mad at happenstance that i happened to graduate when i had to and they still didnt and because fo this someone else became the closest one to her.... like the one time i feel like im feeling actual love this is what happensssssssss but what can i do abt it!!!!! im also so mad ive been made to feel liek such an outsider and scrapped by ppl just bc i moved like... slightly farther away. liek they never responded to texts never tried to reciprocate when i tried making plans never tried to reach out first to make plans w me themselves

makes me feel awful bc im dating a rlly nice girl rn, we ARE explicitly open and casual bc we r both moving in 2 weeks n knew we’d have to split at the end of the summer but i just find myself thinking abt how much fun and geuine joy and how relaxed id be having if i was with the other girl and how i could actually b myself instead of putting on the act in front of my gf bc she expects the same amout of love she feels towards me *from* me. but i also feel like my gf and i are dating more out of proximity and convenience cuz we’re both 20 somns living at home w parents in the burbs, but i dont think she rlly gets me in the way i know the other girl does and has. like we like each other but at a fundamental level dont mesh. somethign somethign divergent evolution of a twitter user vs a lifelong tumblr girlie.

when i think of the other girl i want to cook for her bc i love how happy she looks when she eats the food i make, i wanna talk about dumb shit without putting on the front i have to w my gf so she doesnt feel totally confused, i wanna crochet for her i wanna decorate for her but its never happening!!!!!!!!!

[wizkiddx]

join my taglist 🤍

master list

TOM

~ just for the record - tom gets caught preparing for a very big moment

~ slow burn - early morning workouts are your way of befriending your costar, even if it’s more like torture

~ you're still creepy bro - Tom turns into the readers knight in shining armour when they get ill during promo

~ 3 hearts broken [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] - an argument between you and tom, except it takes him hurting someone else for you to loose it

~ ‘it’ couple - fluffy blurb- Tom’s not-so-subtle physical affection doesnt go unnoticed by the media

~ hanging high - fluff, actress!reader and tom hungover and on a flight, that's abt it

~ just letting you know - Tom’s terrified to ask your dad a very particular question question

~ reasons why I hate the spiderboy - the father of the brides wedding speech

~ work with me - when tom doesn’t take advice and ends up very ill, very far from home, there’s one person whose stuck dealing with it

~ your voice - tom says something so stupid and has to deal with the consquences

~ supercluster - its toms birthday but he has a few things to get off his chest and into the night sky, y/n joins in with a bit of a revelation too

~ stay stay stay - sometimes tom can be the one in need too

~ sleepy sunsets - picking up tom from the airport blurb

~ living and reviving - when toms caught out all hope looks lost

~ baby bump chats - the story of your pregnancy through toms eyes

~ brotherly advice - tom wants to ask harry if he’s taking things to quick with y/n , which harry takes pure glee in

~ pretty boy face - what starts off as tom taking you under his wing and some sunrise workouts together might just develop into something more

~ zooming - online uni is hard when your boyfriend is intent in being a little shit

~ neutralise the escapee. - little bit of fluff while in quarantine cos you know ... the worlds gone mad

~ honeymoon morning. the morning after the night before, full of fluff and surprise and Tom being a lil jealous of Haz

~nothing’s changed at all - 2 years later and Paddy being a bit of a matchmaker

~ admit you miss me - FaceTime, pining and a pandemic- but still cute and lovey

~ moving on - change is scary and it makes you question the realistic future you and tom have

~ a father and daughter - me trying to write dad!tom and resulting in this

~ stop caring - angst reader has a panic attack and the only person to help isssss

~ a job offer - kinda a part two to stop caring, trying to patch up your relationship a small step at a time

~ or him - soon to be dad!tom predicts your babies gender

~ ...surprise part 1 part 2 part 3 this is angsty too, Tom comes home to found out you’ve been through hell and back while he was away, and he didn’t even know

~ a friendly face - bit if angst but mainly just fluff, read pays Tom a surprise visit when she finds out he’s struggling with the emotional stress cherry brings, while the Russo’ make Tom think long and hard... not just about stage direction

~ ruining the plan isn’t always so bad. Fluff!! completely based off the podcast Dom did after him and Sam surprised Tom filming years ago, but with the added component of y/n

~ two beautiful girls - just tom coming home to you and his 18 month daughter and to cuteness that would ensue

~ unusable faces - famous!reader and tom are worked to complete exhaustion so they sneak off together to find some rest bite

~ in your own way - people are just talented at different things and sometime y/n has to remind Tom that

~ the worst case scenario [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] - very very angsty , bcos childbirth isn’t always perfect in the slightest COMPLETED

~ birth photographer 2 - harry gets terrified by toms request about the birth of his child, but the reader smoothes it over

~ too early - fluffy blurb!!!! based off Tom’s early morning insta stories that had me melting ahah

~ wasn't expecting that - you run into possibly the most infuriating family members the one time u and ur boy are showing PDA

~ you cant hide - fluff, reader tries to hide being ill from Tom and it doesnt work

~ homework hell - tom struggles to help his daughter with maths homework and chaos descends

~ anti valentine - its hard for Tom to be romantic, when your the most cynical person going 

~ don't make it weird - life is sometimes not good, but your fave boy makes it just a little easier to deal with (with some original help from his brother too)

~ how he loves - the little things he does in boring day to day life

~ perfect no matter what - tom helps you to see your worth

~ bad advice - fluffy blurb, tom seeking Harry's advice on his relationship

HARRY

~ what do I do - first time the reader falls asleep on harry and he’s all scared and nervous and tom is like ugh

~ your song - harry never sings in front of you, until you need it

~ need your person part 1. part 2 - this is very angsty! but Harry really gets the wrong end of the stick of a situation and blows up much to the detriment of the person he loves

~ this bloody door - bad days and bad doors , but something does make it better

~ in the middle - oops only one bed left i wonder if the mutual pining gets outed?

[bi-spy-who-might-be-high]

So obviously this came from insta and it speaks for itself.

For me i use bisexual because ive been through hell with that term. I came out as bi about 6 years ago and my mom lectured me for 2 hours over how i was sinning and gonna go to hell and all that bullshit and even convinced my dad to be mad out me ( they were both drunk and forgot i even came out so I just went back in the closet. They were the only two i came out too) so i last yeat I came out again as bi and it has went way better. My mom has grown and learned to be more accepting (she still has work to do but she is actually trying and has even offered to take me to pride which shocked me because i didnt think she was that cool with it) my dad makes dad jokes about and laughs whenever i make a stupid joke involving being bi. The rest of my family knows too and the only one who doesnt accept is my grandmas sister but she isnt that important and her acceptance doesnt matter. It wasnt until a few months ago that soemone said pan fit me better and yeah it probably(idk if i spelt that right it looks weird to me) does but me and the term bisexual ive been on a journey together and i feel so fucking proud when im around somd asshole and they over hear me talking about a girl I have a crush on and they are like "oh so your a lesbian. Did you even give boys a chance? (Legit had someone say this to me and my mom was like stay calm and i was like tf) anywas when they said that i went " ive had a bf before he ended up dating my best friend (ex bff)" them "oh so what you dated one and decided they were all terrible and went lesbian" me "im actually bisexual so no i didnt just give up on boys". Anyways I feel proud when i declare im bisexual idk its just so empowering to finally be able to say it and not worry about how my parents are gonna react and to just say it out loud is amazing. When i came out the first time it was hell and afterwards i had to listen to some bullshit until they changed and i was finally able to come out again and it felt so good to have my dad make a joke on how i couldve came out to everyone. Also this is my first time going to pride and being out. (I sent once with my aunt when i was really little and didnt understand anything or know what i was) and i fr lowkey feel like crying because im supposed to be going this year and on top of that my mom is gonna go with me to show support like idk its so amazing to me. So yeah sometimes there might be a term that fits someone but its their sexuality and they get to say what makes them feel comfortable. Obviously i love my pansexaul siblings in the LGBTQ+ community but bisexual was what i held onto when i had to listen to my mom be hateful. I held onto that term telling myself one day I was gonna come out and be happy and proud and not have to be scared my mom was gonna kick me out or scared she would talk shit with my other aunt. I told myself i was gonna come out as a loud and proud bisexual and now i have people telling me that it would be better to call myself pansexaul like excuse you but this is my sexuality and this is the term i had a journey with and now im gonna wear it proudly. Like i said ive been to hell with this term and i love all the other sexual identities but this is my term and im not gonna give it up based on someone elses opinions. Im bisexual and proud.

Sorry if this was way too long and confusing. I just wanted to share why i use bisexual over everything else. Saying im bisexual makes me happy and its comforting everytime i say it out loud.

I love yall and please be safe.

[5sosbitchfest]

Alrighty, Nonsters.  We currently have 290 Asks in our box!  As much as we might try, I know there is NO WAY we’re going to be able to get through all of them.  Everything exploded this weekend when MessyGate went down!   I don’t want to ignore any asks just because I already answered a similar one.  So, I’ve tried to gather as many similar Asks as possible to let your your voices be heard.  Y’all are definitely NOT alone in your feelings.  Get ready for a lot of opinions on Messy’s Twitter Drama.  

Also, if you sent in an Ask and we haven’t answered it yet, please feel free to resubmit it!  I do try to scroll through all of them but it is a daunting task and personal stuff and work make it difficult for me to get through everything in a timely manner!

********************************

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’m really disappointed in Luke and this band in general, the way they deal with things. “honest policy” with messy? So he knew all of this and it was okay? Or he confronted her on this and he is okay with what she has done? I’m not sure this whole thing would be a deal breaker for me, but it certainly would make me real mad at my SO and some whiny excuses wouldn’t be enough to make things alright. Radio silence would’ve been much better than that story he posted, made himself look like a fool.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls will sooner or later become their downfall if their management or them does not realise they should rely on other things than bringing relationship up front to sell their music. I find it extremely bad that they are behaving as if nothing happened, I hope there will be changes once touring will be possible again and we won’t see these girls tagging along everywhere or being brought up in interviews all the time but somehow I’m not counting too much on that.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder if Luke knows everything that Messy got exposed for or just the parts Messy wanted to show him. Bc Luke said in his Story that he wasn't online lately so maybe he wasn't on Twitter too and Messy just showed him the parts that make her look good and he still doesn't know that she spoke bad about Ashton or how she stalked the fans also after she knew that they didn't hack his email adress cause he wasn't on Twitter so he couldn't see the screenshots.🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm just waiting for the day one of them date someone who isn't a part of their circle. tired of them passing around the same toxic girls.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls are just digging a whole for these guys and they want be able to get out of it soon

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: It was a chicken move for Sierra to do it as a reply and no one has talked on twitter that she deleted it because they probably think her deleting it is saying it wasn’t true

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Am I the only one who thinks that guys really only heavily interact with us when they want to promote something or say something about the music? I do understand they have lives so being on Twitter isn't number one priority and with all the drama that surrounds this fandom its very easy to not want to be online a lot, I just can't help but feel that way

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm talking about this messy situation (no pun intended) with my friend and she said to me that Messy should consider changing her career if she can't handle that not all people are going to like her. (that ofc doesn't include any form of harassment bc that's not cool)

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I really don't know how to feel about the Luke situation. At first I was upset and disappointed of Luke but now I almost pity him bc real or not either the management would want Luke to defend her or Messy. And I think Luke isn't the kind of person who would stand up against the management or Messy (even though it would probably be better for him if he would). And most people don't realise when they're in a toxic relationship so I can't really blame him. I just hope this ends asap.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I literally was so angry and frustrated with Luke and this whole situation yesterday that I couldn’t even look at him on my home screen, I had to change it. It’s really a disappointing thing to witness. Whether management put him up to this or he genuinely believes this toxicity is okay, I’m just very grumpy with him at the moment. He deserves better and WE (the fans) deserve better.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I think Luke really needs to be in a relationship with sb who either isn't famous and doesn't want to be or with someone who is famous bc they have a successful career too and who doesn't need Like to be famous.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’ve only seen a few accounts on Twitter who are attacking Messy and Crusty to the core and exposing every bad thing they’ve done with receipts for the sossies defending them! I’m happy that karma is finally getting to those con artist who think they can get away with anything

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: that recent lierra picture is photoshoped lmao. if you look at Sierra's hand you can see color coming off from it and her arm looks hella weird.her forehead looks hella weird and look couldn't have taken the picture because I doubt that he could stretch his arm that far and make a perfect picture. also we haven't even seen Sierra's face so I still don't believe they're together

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The Lemon pic was like a punch in the face (even though Petunia and Luke are looking cute there). But I've been asking myself lately if Luke has seen the whole drama going around on Twitter or just the posts Messy wanted him to know so the ones who make her look like the victim (and not the ones where she insulted Ashton or she made it clear that she stalked his fans). Cause Luke said he hasn't been online lately.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I mean we dont know how much of the story he truly is aware of and how much s changed to fit her narrative and get L to feel bad for her. Plus he was under pressure from management to do damage control and not standing up for his gf is a very bad look for outsiders who dont understand why she's at fault. It was a pretty neutral statement and he was obviously told to make the post so I dont blame him and just blame her more for putting him in the situation in the 1st place

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder how much toxicity happens behind the scenes, we know S is very manipulative and L is very much a people pleaser so.. and with how much they have to sell their "love" and "happiness" in the relationship. Minipulation is a powerful thing and it could explain why hes out of touch with reality, especially lately since he's isolated with her and doesnt have the voices of the band to raise any concerns and he's been getting skinny again and seems very "meh" rather than happy, idk

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel so disconnected with this fandom rn. I feel like no one is streaming CALM and that makes me sad bc it's such an amazing album. The boys aren't even online anymore, everyone is mad at each other and now Luke comes up with this shit... tbh I wish I would wake up tomorrow and see him tweeting something like yeah I'm sorry about my ig story I still love y'all lmao

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Wait wait wait wait ive been gone from the fandom for a little while now and what the fuck is going on with Luke and S? What did S do that she made a fake ass apology for?? I’m so lost please help me! 😂

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm seeing a lot of my mutuals unstanning and I'm just so mad bc Sierra started this drama and got Luke into it and I'm sad that people are leaving bc of this, it's just too much toxicity and it shouldn't affect the band and their connection with the fans but with Luke saying this he makes it seem like he supports the ugly things she does

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I am a Luke stan and I've always loved him bc he has inspired me so much through the years but when he does this things it's like...damn. I feel like he's invalidating the fans' feelings by being like "if you don't like my girlfriend, ur fake" like he has never noticed me on Twitter or anything but my biggest fear is to be blocked by him or just ignored bc I don't like her (although I never expressed it publicly) n yeah anyways :// It feels weird

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Going back and re-reading the DM’s messy literally confirms that she accesses Luke’s account by saying “we couldn’t get in” or some shit like that

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate being a luke stan, sometimes it just seems like he doesn't care? he always puts these toxic gfs before the ones who adore him and pay his bills. might just move into Cashton's lane. unproblematic kings.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: He literally posted a picture of him cuddling her and petunia within the hour

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The saddest part of this situation is it’s like a repeat of Arzaylea. Luke has no idea what a respectful, mature relationship is. We saw it with Arz and were seeing it again it’s just a little bit different. He stays being controlled and manipulated by toxic partners. I really think homeboy needs to be single for a WHILE and focus on himself. He needs to unlearn the things his past and current relationships have taught him about love because if I know anything, it’s that this ain’t real love.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Is it bad that I just want the larzaylea drama back?? Like everyone could at least agree on their feelings then...

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Just checked messy’s insta and of course, everyone that still supports her filled her tagged with just the single picture

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel like the reason Sierra is getting away with what she’s done is because she isn’t that known. Like yeah she’s associated with 5sos, but they’re also like not that big which is probably why it’s getting swept under the rug. I’ve only seen the 5SOS fandom calling her out for her actions. If this had happened with a well known celebrity, they probably would’ve been dragged and been trending on Twitter. I might be wrong but I feel like this is what’s happening which is just unfair.

[matronaa]

Jungkook “fuckboy?” drabble

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 1,637

Genre: Fluff/mentions of smut?

Okay look its about 1 in the morning while im writing this and i just got done literally scrolling thru @jungshookz  e n t i r e page and honestly ive been delusionally laughing over her stories for like an hour and a half like the tattooartist!jungkook fic legit killed me i love it  and i’m probably going to force my friend to check her out because legit i love it so much and she seems like such a funny person and if she sees this 1) ily and ur writing and i wanna be friends but idk how to start a conversation because im a awKwARd bEan and 2) im sorry for probably spamming ur notifications with likes okay i couldnt help it so now im inspired for the first time in a while to write but im way to loopy to put together an actual fic so enjoy this ig

Okay i should stop rambling (okay just note that im so sleep deprived that i had to google ‘words for excessive talking’ to remember the word rambling because im an idiot and i cant think and ooo its 1:11 am rn make a wish b*tches)

Okay im sorry ill begin~

A/n all of this is completely unedited and if bad grammar annoys you srry not srry

Lets talk about what fuckboy!jungkook is oki

I feel like in reality there are just a bunch of rumors about him but hes so smol and hes the quiet type so he doesnt have the energy to dismiss them

Like im sorry soft jungkook is way to good in my mind rn okay #cuddles4days im not in the mood for him to strangle me with his amazing biceps

Anyway

you never rlly met him in the 4 years of going to the same highschool as him (since you’re in those smart people classes like humanities) until senior year

You and him had the same AP Lit. class lmao english class is  l i t

Which surprised you bc of the rumors like i thought he was a badboy ?? arent those normally idiots ??

Nah my bby is a smart nugget, he just likes to look hella bf 25/8

First day of school cliche where you show up late to class and have to sit next to him because i  d i e  for those plots okay

But you dont know thats him because you’ve never seen him, so you’re confused on why most of the girls keep glaring at you

But soon enough you catch on and you’re like fml

And then the professor is like “where you are sitting is your assigned seating for the rest of the year” and you’re like f m L

He ends up introducing himself to you because i mean like table buddies

But hes really nervous because hes a cute little bean and you’re hella cute cuz lets be honest ur probably wearing like basic black leggings and a hoodie with your hood over your head to hide the bed hair you didnt feel like brushing that morning

Oh, just me? Okay…

He likes ur name because it rolls off the tongue and he thinks it suits you even tho he doesnt know you

Yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You dont really think hes a fuckboy because he seems so nice and he has the cutest lil bunny smile sEE

That is until after school u end up getting to ur locker late because u left something in one of your classes

And u see him pinning a girl against the lockers down the hall

And ur like well shit nvm

And u quickly get ur shit and go because das  a w k w a r d

But then he sees u run off and hes like awh crap i dun fucked up

A few weeks go by and u notice he barely really comes to class so u usually sit alone

On days he does come his chair seems extra close to yours and he’s basically smothering you

But u dont mind because he smells nice

And on the days he does come you get kinda excited because

1) you get a partner who doesnt expect you to do all of the work

2) this boy cute when he gets all intelligent

Ur  like “yes pls continue speaking about the essay we are writing that i have no idea is on because i kept getting lost in the sound of ur voice”

He notices when u zone out because you start staring at his lips when hes talking and he thinks its the cutest thing

One day u get assigned a week long project and ur close enough friends with jungkook to basically scold and force him to come to class all week

But only if he can force u to come to his house to work on it after school

Which you’re low key nervous of because ur going to a ‘fuckboy’s house’ by yourself

And u dont wanna do the dirty because ur a pure child haha not for long

But you agree anyway

And honestly even after the project is done (which you got an A on) you continue going over to his house because his bed is comfortable and he always has snacks

And his mom loves you

Like legit on days you dont go the next day you do she’s like “wheRE WERE YOU”

When the semester is over the professor lets you pick seats but you both enjoy each other’s company so you stay seated together.

finally ur at his house one day and ur just laying on his bed scrolling thru insta and he’s sitting on his bean bag in the corner on his phone and u look up at him and realise

Shit

You like him

Like a lot

And u mentally face palm because this was not supposed to happen

But it happened and you’re too far down the hole to climb out

Sometimes u end up napping at his house after school because his bed is more comfortable than yours and one friday night u wake up in his arms

And its like the best feeling ever

Its so warm and hes so cuddly hes like latched onto you

You stay under the warm blankets before you question when he even got in bed since he was playing video games before you fell asleep

And then his phone lights up and ofc you check it for him bc ur a nosey bitch

But not before you observed how adorable he was while he was sleeping

Nope not creepy at all

its his friend tae texting him (you didn’t really know his friends since you had different friend groups)

You check it and its smth like “stop staring at y/n while shes sleeping and reply u creep”

And you’re like w a t

So you scroll up and see that while u were sleeping jungkook went on a full rant on how cute u are and how whipped he is

And ur like holy fadoodles dis boy likes me

And so u decided to text tae like “this is y/n, does he actually like me”

Which turns into you both having a convo on how thirsty jungkook is until he wakes up

Hes like wtf r u doing and he snatches the phone and reads through your messages with tae while u like sit up to stare at him

And he’s still half asleep so it takes him to realise whats going on

“Omfg y/n i can explain-”

He starts rambling about how long he had been crushing on u and that he didn’t want to tell you because you seemed uninterested so he kept it a secret and never told anyone

And honestly he was freaking out because the onE tiMe he tells anyone that he likes you, you find out

But while he’s rambling you’re coming up with an excuse to text your mom that you’re spending the night at his house, so you just say he’s not feeling well and his parents are gone for the weekend.

Lmao she doesnt care she’s just like “lmao ik ur lying but have fun dont get pregnant”

Or Maybe thats just my mom idk

You have to shut him up by snatching his phone out of his hands and kissing him

When you pull away you’re just like “you talk too much lmao”

You explain to him that you like him too and u just get under the covers again and snuggle up next to him, and he wraps his arms around you

And you stay like that for a while before hes like “its late you should get home”

And you tell him you’re staying the night whether he likes it or not

And he is so down for that

But then you end up just spending the weekend there because why not his parents love you

And every night is just filled with cuddling, watching netflix, making out, late night snacks, etc.

Saturday night he gets a lil touchy and soon enough ur like straddling him and grinding your hips against his

But then he’s like “Ive never done this before” and you c o m b u s t

Ur like aren’t you like the school fuckboy how have you not done this

And he tells you its all just rumors and hes too lazy to set the record straight

And you basically decide to take things slow that night since it was you’re first time too and honestly it was so cute

It wasn’t really steamy rough sex it was more soft fluffy love making that is filled with giggling and exploring and appreciating each other

That was definitely the night you fell in love with him

Which is big because you thought love was gross

The next day you’re cuddling and he’s like “you know ur my gf now”

And ur like duh

You start going on cute dates after that like going to cafes or amusement parks

He loved taking you to the beach during the summer because u looked gr8 in a bikini

You found out you were going to the same college with was fantastic, so you decided to rent an apartment together nearby the campus instead of living in a dorm.

Which normally you’d be against because moving in together so quickly ?? but you felt different like this relationship was going to last

UNTIL HE CHEATED

Lmao jk gotcha bitch

My baby is too pure and innocent to cheat

Well innocent until you both get into bed and then oh lord it gets steamy

He wants to experiment with like e v e r y t h i n g and honestly you were down

But ofc you set some boundaries.

There were lines he couldn’t cross

I mean sometimes he tried but you shut that down real quick

Overall your relationship was perfect and you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend

I mean he brought you pizza rolls and dr pepper to ‘study dates’ how could you not love him.

Oml it took me over an hour to write this its like 2:30 am why am i awake anyway imma go to bed now, idk ur name jungshookz but pls write more fanfics i need more to read late at night okay gnite

[swyllh]

i spent a ridiculously long time agonizing over this, but 2 + minghao for the 100 ways to say i love you thing!

(2. “this reminded me of you.”)

premise: minghao can’t let go.

pairing: minghao x reader

genre: angst, textfic

tw: major character death, lots of swearing.

10 february 2018

minghao [1102]: hey

minghao [1102]: ITS YA BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

minghao [1102]: img1834.jpg

minghao [1104]: i set your phone to silent

minghao [1104]: this doesnt work when ur phone is ringign

minghao [1105]: haha

minghao [1105]: thats actually q funny wtf

minghao [1106]: like

minghao [1106]: lets pretend to talk to u like ur alive

minghao [1106]: while ur phone is ringing next to me

minghao [1107]: ………….

minghao [1110]: yeah i don’t kno wwhy im doing this

minghao [1111]: dr lee said i t would be good

minghao [1111]: oh 11111

minghao [1111]: 1111*

minghao [1111]: u used to wish on them

minghao [1112]: i thought it was so stupid

minghao [1112]: still think its sutpid 

minghao [1113]: man its so hard

minghao [1113]: m so used to u biting my head of f

minghao [1113]: i miss you

minghao [1115]: i miss you so much

minghao [2032]: k SO

minghao [2032]: i finally got to finidhign

minghao [2032]: all the fuckdifnf funrrrl 

minghao [2033]: moeny

minghao [2033]: haaaaaaaaaaaaahha

minghao [2033]: djd y inow funerla s cost soc much

minghao [2033]: 3000 %94_43?@589;@(p;%

minghao [2033]: ‘’’’’’’’

minghao [2034]: $7_*

minghao [2034]: $7__________________________*

11 february 2018

minghao [1422]: fuck

minghao [1422]: seems like drunk me couldnt turn back

minghao [1422]: the keyborad

minghao [1422]: keyboard*

minghao [1422]: lmao

minghao [1426]: this is actually fucking funny

minghao [1426]: but what i wanted to say was

minghao [1426]: cremations cost like 100000

minghao [1426]: ……………..

minghao [1426]: did i extra type

minghao [1427]: u dont even give shits about numbers

minghao [1427]: rmb that time

minghao [1427]: you like,, frget the decimal

minghao [1427]: we ended up donating like half our rent

minghao [1430]: about rent

minghao [1431]: do i sell this house now

minghao [1431]: i mean i like it

minghao [1431]: its close to the metro, theres two supermarkets, a library

minghao [1432]: but its also hell to get to work

minghao [1432]: mine not urs

minghao [1432]: ……..technially its not a house

minghao [1432]: god how do u still osund so bitchy after death

minghao [1443]: also moving out will mean moving your stuff too

minghao [1447]: idk i dont want to think about that

minghao [1820]: img1886.jpg 

minghao [1821]: the sunset today is so beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

minghao [1821]: fuck

minghao [1822]: img1887.jpg

minghao [1822]: img1888.jpg

minghao [1823]: img1889.jpg

minghao [1823]: which one

minghao [1823]: for insta

minghao [1824]: should i do a collage

minghao [2311]: 1111

12 february 2018

minghao [0608]: going out fr a run

minghao [1050]: ur mum wants to meet

minghao [1050]: think she wants to get ur stuff back

minghao [1111]: 1111

minghao [1111]: your mum says youre in heaven

minghao [1112]: she misses you a lot

minghao [1115]: ha fuck

minghao [1115]: next thing i know im gonna be waiting for you to text back

minghao [1251]: what do i say

minghao [1251]: screenshot_89.jpg

minghao [1251]: “sure!” ?

minghao [1252]: is it too morbid to add an exclamation mark

minghao [1252]: ???

minghao [1252]: sure.

minghao [1253]: the fullstop looks mean

minghao [1253]: ………………

minghao [1255]: god why cant she just

minghao [1255]: i said ‘sure’ w the fullstop

minghao [1255]: screenshot_90.jpg

minghao [1256]: what do i say now?????

minghao [1256]: why cant she get her own imaginary u

minghao [1256]: smh

13 february 2018

minghao [1637]: just got out of therapy

minghao [1637]: dr lee was talking abt the 5 stages of grief

minghao [1637]: kind of zoned out

minghao [1638]: was cool tho

minghao [1638]: youd like that psychology talk

minghao [1639]: can u imagine someone

minghao [1639]: a scientist

minghao [1639]: just going up to grieving people

minghao [1639]: like “hey can i know how ur feeling”

minghao [1639]: checking in every five days

minghao [1640]: or getting them to jorunal

minghao [1643]: kind of what i’m doing

minghao [1644]: but fuck if i let u become a memopad

minghao [1648]: anyway the bus is here

minghao [1648]: think ill sleep 

minghao [1946]: how the fuck

minghao [1946]: do u eat so much rice

minghao [1946]: i cooked exact as usual

minghao [1947]: img1890.jpg

minghao [1947]: r u fcuking kidding me

minghao [2313]: soz i missed

minghao [2313]: 1113?

minghao [2313]: at least its not 1112

minghao [2313]: 1113 is like a deliberate delay

minghao [2314]: a statement against the futility of numbers. freewill vs fate, control and determination. 

minghao [2314]: ok im sorry thts bullshit

minghao [2316]: i wont miss it again

14 february 2018

minghao [0028]: fuck

minghao [0028]: its valentines day

minghao [0028]: fucccccccccccck

minghao [0028]: everynes gonna be gross

minghao [0029]: ugh

minghao [0029]: like us

minghao [0029]: sto p soudnign so smug.

minghao [0812]: i still cant believe they skated to yoi 

minghao [0812]: what a time to be alive

minghao [0816]: ur probably so pissed that ur missing the olympics

minghao [0819]: i just checked, mens singles is on the 16th 

minghao [0819]: bet u chen rekts hanyu 

minghao [0820]: actually, no

minghao [0820]: youll cry if he does

minghao [0824]: god how many posters of hanyu do you have

minghao [0828]: youll cry if i take them down

minghao [0828]: p sure if u had any say

minghao [0828]: ud want them to paste it all over ur tomb

minghao [0829]: ………………

minghao [0830]: right now im really really hoping you dont hav some weird will that wants me to do that

minghao [0831]: ur so gross

minghao [0831]: ur room is so gross

minghao [1215]: i cant do this

minghao [1215]: ur room smells like you

minghao [1216]: fucking nivea extra fresh

minghao [1216]: cant believe im cryign over deoderent 

minghao [1217]: deodorant

minghao [1217]: even the word is gross

minghao [2311]: 1111 

minghao [2311]: i miss you. 

minghao [2312]: spent the day in your study

minghao [2312]: your mum is coming over on saturday so i packed a bit

minghao [2320]: ok i lied

minghao [2320]: i cried all over your things

minghao [2321]: how

minghao [2321]: how do you just keep crying

minghao [2321]: i should be dehydrated by nw

minghao [2322]: fuck

minghao [2322]: think im crying again

minghao [2322]: is it possible to die from crying so mcuh

minghao [2323]: i miss you

minghao [2323]: the bed is so cold

minghao [2326]: i miss you. so much. all the time.

15 february 2018

minghao [1128]: they’re going to terminate the contract on your phone

minghao [1128]: and then i wont be able to message you like this

minghao [1129]: i panicked and called dr lee

minghao [1129]: she said it was a good thing

minghao [1130]: fuck this

minghao [1130]: i know it isnt like ur gonna text back

minghao [1130]: but 

minghao [1131]: i hear your voice and it makes me safe

minghao [1131]: like youre here

minghao [1132]: fuck.

minghao [1516]: so i forgot to water your cactus

minghao [1516]: its dead

minghao [1516]: sorry

minghao [1517]: maybe oyull take better care of it now

minghao [1517]: actually

minghao [1517]: do plants go to heaven 

minghao [1518]: they can right

minghao [1518]: since they were once alive

minghao [1518]: lol

minghao [1520]: that means books cant

minghao [1520]: god it must be so boring up there

minghao [1522]: unless heaven has their own publishing company

minghao [1538]: or phone service

minghao [1540]: is that why you cant text me back

minghao [1540]: cos im texting the wrong number

minghao [1541]: i swear if u pull a new phone hoo dis

minghao [1542]: …. i cant even kill u

minghao [1542]: or its like overkill

minghao [1543]: jesus

minghao [1546]: youre always one step ahead of me huh

16 february 2018 

minghao [1741]: happy lunar new year

minghao [1741]: i went to your mum’s. we watched yuzuru hanyu.

minghao [1742]: ok FINE he won okay

minghao [1742]: nathan chen fucked up 

minghao [1742]: did u mess with him from above

minghao [1743]: thats not a fair win ok

minghao [1750]: your mum started crying in the middle of lunch.

minghao [1750]: she cooked all your favourite foods.

minghao [1751]: fuck you.

minghao [1803]: im sorry i dont mean that 

minghao [1803]: i love you

minghao [1804]: i love you

minghao [1804]: i lov eyou 

minghao [1804]: i love you 

minghao [2203]: ive been thinking

minghao [2204]: its getting hard to

minghao [2204]: talk to you 

minghao [2204]: at you, like this

minghao [2206]: im not

minghao [2206]: this sounds bad

minghao [2207]: it probably is 

minghao [2207]: every time. i do. its like.

minghao [2207]: i know youre not going to reply.

minghao [2208]: i knw youre dead

minghao [2213]: youre dead

minghao [2218]: but i miss you so much and it doesnt stop there and i still love you but your phone is still lighting up i still keep it charged and every time i try to talk about you its hard to not feel like im being ripped out from inside and i lov eyou still 

minghao [2224]: i dont want to forget you.

minghao [2248]: i dont want to wake up one day and not think of you and meet someone else and fall in love with them and throw all your things away and forget how you look like

minghao [2255]: i forgot wwhat you looked like this morning

minghao [2256]: i was looking at a photo of us

minghao [2256]: and for a moment i thought you looked strange

minghao [2257]: like, was your nose /that big

minghao [2257]: HAHAHAHAHA jk

minghao [2259]: i almost lost it. i wanted to break things and 

minghao [2302]: i dont want to say it

minghao [2311]: 1111

minghao [2312]: good night.

17 february 2018

minghao [1050]: your mum’s here

minghao [1050]: im so nervous haha wtf

minghao [2047]: the whole house is so empty wow

minghao [2047]: it’s so crazy 

minghao [2048]: but ur yuzuru posters left marks on the wall 

minghao [2048]: :p

minghao [2051]: its so weird 

minghao [2052]: its like youre not here

minghao [2055]: dr lee says its a step forward but i feel like somethings missing. and that things are going to fuck themselves up now.

minghao [2104]: its like i can hear everything now that all ur files and stuff are gone

minghao [2110]: this house is too big for me

minghao [2111]: shold i get a dog?

minghao [2111]: what if it dies

minghao [2111]: your plant died

minghao [2112]: bc i didnt water it

minghao [2114]: did you die because i didnt love you enough

minghao [2115]: the last thing we fought over was so stupid

minghao [2115]: it was about bills right

minghao [2117]: are you still pissed about that

minghao [2118]: im sorry.

18 february 2018

minghao [0233]: im unplugging your phone.

minghao [0234]: the contract’s expiring soon anyway.

minghao [0234]: so.

minghao [0240]: you’re at 76%. 

minghao [0240]: so this is kind of anticlimactic

minghao [0252]: i think ive spent too long holding you back

minghao [0252]: your mum gave me that look when she found out i was texting you.

minghao [0254]: im just scared. 

minghao [0255]: i dont want to forget what its like to love you

minghao [0301]: 49%

minghao [0510]: i had a nightmare

minghao [0511]: almost recharged your phone on auto

minghao [0512]: tired.

minghao [0512]: love you.

minghao [1110]: youre on 1%

minghao [1110]: i love you.

minghao [1110]: i love you.

drafts

[!] message undelivered - [1111]: i love you.